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2015-02-01 | 🔗

A vague yet menacing government agency needs a special message delivered. Plus, Cooking Stuff with Earl Harlan, a mysterious thank-you card, and strange goings on near the haunted baseball diamond.

The voice of Earl Harlan was Wil Wheaton.

Weather: "The Bends" by Doomtree (doomtree.net)

Music: Disparition, disparition.info

Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com

Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Where your heart on your sleeve, if you can't do that, whereupon cast T shirt on your torso, we have a ton of great t, shirts and our night veil store torso, not included featuring cool and creepy designs from some of our favorite artists. We also have t shirts and tank top say things like pain is just paying entering the body and if happy- and you know it now- you don't work. Instantly, adding in removing things from our store. So few see something you like you need to get it before. It's gone, go to war, come tonight, veil, dot, com, click on store and hey. You deserve the best. There's nothing under your bed, nothing, your closet we'll go check it all out at welcome to night veil dot com slash. Are surrounded by nothing. You cannot skip it welcome,
to night, I have received several urgent facebook messages and Twitter DM from a vague, get menacing government agency asking to deliver the following message: write me Dep. They said that there was nothing secret or important about the message and it is certainly not related to any ongoing deep under cover operations, but they can only communicate with using code word suddenly buried in local radio broadcasts. It wasn't any.
Crazy, like that they just thing It would be cool. Hear me say Briny depths Do your deepest smoothest voice, they said really sell. It really give it your all. It would I guess so happy, please it's our Earth day, oh dear, not mention it's totally our birthday. All right in Europe fast voice, say it Brian need debt. Why There you go, they get menacing government agency happy birthday. The faceless old woman who secretly leaves in your home and higher make Daniels who, is literally a five had a dragon both former
candidates for thee may oral role now filled I did a cardinal were seen muttering together in a booth at the moonlight, all night, diner or high from was seen. No one has ever actually seen the faceless old woman, but we all know that she is there. When we we're comment by. A nosey person sitting in the booth next to them, Hiram explained that they were just chatting and were not involved in any sort of plans. Oars schemes at all He then held a conversation with himself about this matter. Each at providing a different viewpoint in five different voices. The gene still, which was No, They were not planning any thing. Definitely not the faces
Old woman scratched with what seem to be a long jag id finger nail into the soul of my shoe this morning. That's ludicrous She suggested with a flickering shadow in the corner of my eye as I walked to work, we would never she whispered. From behind me just now. Moving on another instalment of what I imagine is our listeners, favorite segment cooking stuff with Earl Harlin as the name applies, we have my childhood friend and current sue chef at night veils hottest restaurant tourniquet with us. You're in the studio. Earl. That's me yes,
well all just a few months ago you showed us how to cook tiramisu, and that was the life full of. Please don't coquette recipe that's me get well Earl. Just a few months ago you showed us how to cook tiramisu and that Lightfoot, oh, please, don't go terrorism. It is extraordinarily poisons tell her listeners and me, of course, what you ve been up to since we last spoke mostly I've been working mostly living. I ve been spending time with my son, trying to remember when I had a son trying to understand the flow of my life and how I don't remember going from being nineteen to the middle aged adult I am now. I was team for so well sure, that's all Like fine I'll tell you lately
I've been getting into crosswords just stop doing them doesn't even further. Like. It's me doing dumb like it's, some one else compelling me to do them. Sometimes I pick up crossword. I've never seen before only to find it's been com we build in with my own handwriting. Well, I'm glad we both been up to such fun. Things Cecil think what here. Were you born? So what are we cooking up today? Earl, ok! Well, today we are making pulled pork that sounds yummy. It is an or could not be simpler. To make to start off with. You will need to kill a pig. You will need to find a living pig. He kill that pig
probably need to hold down the pig. The pig struggle there will be blood and some of them will be fixed The pig will want to move, but you need to make die that pig. It need to die the then You will need to dismember the pig, the pig would be a fool being, but you not be able to eat it like that. So you need to take it apart. There will be lives and hacking. Skin we'll have to go, peel back that skin and take the muscles and subcutaneous fact, which is the party will consume Lee. The bones and skin behind to rot. Then
slow cook it with some vinegar, some sugar ants in Chile put it on a bus, and there you go pulled pork Can't wait to try that it seems so easy I'll just use one of the pigs I have at home. I'm sorry if I seem down, or else you so long. I've been going through a lot who I understand. This has been a difficult. Time for me to Carlos is away, and we talk regularly, but it's not the same as the physical presence of someone you love. You know. I know that's what we do when we have someone special enough to merit special effort, I'm proud of you for working through this and I'm proud of you for dealing with how weird time is: oh for raising a sign. Somehow What is your son's name.
I wish I knew well. In great catching up I will see you again soon, Earl. I received another flurry Of messages from a vague get menacing government agency saying that, well, thanks for saying those words for us. That was great of you, but it ll it's like. Maybe it didn't work, what didn't work? They were publicly asked not important. They were, plied to themselves. As we said, that was certainly not a code word for an undercover agent who apparent he wasn't listening to the radio when they were supposed to be, which is by the way, their only job, and there
duty and their life's mission to be listening to instructions from headquarters. So now no biggie, but maybe just do something as simple as listen to the radio. At the time we tell you to anyway. None of that is important. The agency continued, and there is no particular reason where asking you but the agency continued and there is no particular reason where asking you hey it's also, our friends birthday. We forgot to mention that. Please say it again, so ok here goes Brian me: death Happy birthday to your friend I hope you enjoy that, but I really
He can't keep interrupting my broadcast with this stuff little. The coach Betty Loose Zero is reporting that there are strange goings on near the he haunted baseball diamond her team uses for practices and league games. No. No. No, no. I know it's haunted. She said
get that you don't have to explain that to me. I'm saying that there is other weird stuff going on beside the usual ghosts. She went on to describe anguished Howells, coming from a neighborhood near by and a red glow at night that made her skin feel loose and ici when she looked directly at it. She also said that the baseball diamond has started to smell of rotten eggs, which is a detriment to her teams performance. As we spoke, an apparition of a grey skinned young woman in a tattered dress appeared hovering on the base line between second and third. I may have yelped a little, maybe scrambled backwards, a bit bud coach, loose, zero, laughed and said: oh, that's, just Lucia our third base coach. She died in eighteen, forty three say: hi, Lucia the young woman flickered out to view then reappeared suddenly inches from my face her pupil, less eyes staring directly into mine. I responded in a professional and calm manner and coach loose arrow laughed for unrelated reasons, not anything to do with how I may have reacted and said: that's our Lucia. She then went on to say that she had a bad feeling about the weird goings on near the baseball field and she probably said some other things, but I was running away. So I didn't hear hers super well, oh listeners, this,
is exciting. I received mail today I didn't think mail was still being delivered not after what happened at the post office, but here it is an envelope addressed to one Cecil Palmer in neat handwriting, with the address of the station right underneath. If you want to send us any mail sense, a pair that is a thing which exists and is working now. Her address is yeah.
night veil, Please do send stuff in its always nice to hear from vans, but back to this anvil Maybe this is silly, but I waited to open it. Until I was on the air, it seem more fun if we could. Find out together what was inside. I am I'm. I get now- and here we go it's. Oh it's a greeting card. It says thanks so much on the front and it has a picture of a cat playing with a ball of yarn. Well, that's just the cutest, although I
I'd! Imagine why someone sent me this card, I'm I'm opening heads o o a photo fell out out dang it. Behind a desk, the side of the card. Just has the words. Thank you for what You did printed and then it signed Erika over. And over in multiple handwritings hot mummy. Let me try to grab that oh no, I'm going to have to crawl under the desk While I do that here, word from our sponsors
today's broadcast is sponsored by Kobe Beef. The leave then ass. You push all right listeners, I, ah I got the photo and it's it's a photo of me. At city Hall, I'm fighting off a pack of antique in front of the mayor's door, but that wasn't me in Turn Hector did that last month he came back with them eight, I don't remember ever leaving my desk when the antiques attacked our mayor. What what is this photo? It must be fake, doesn't look fake; no, it must you think right. Why would I not remember saving the mayor,
or on this later, as I ACE, my fragile self, and try to understand my own reality? ok now, this is getting out of hand the Get menacing government agency sent me a snap checked and several anonymous asks on Tumblr saying that they were happy about me doing that whole broad casting their secret code word thing before Bud: that the message didn't seem to be getting through, or it's not a message that was poor phrasing on their part. Sorry they're, just flustered talking to their favorite radio host ah I meant to say that they have had the best birthday ever yet and now there has their friend plus they
forgot to mention millions and millions of people have the same birthday is damn of how many people have their birthday today and all of them. The agents. Sure, just I want you to say that little thing again, just once more in your smoothest, deepest voice. They say that they ve made it. So our station is currently broadcasting on every single radio frequency. So no one could possibly miss these special birthday greetings and it will finally be the best birthday ever This is the last time. Ok, I'm doing just once more. Here I go and really try to enjoy this, because I am not doing it again.
Brian, we dare with food you're shouting coming from the break roommates at sunset, scuffling. There's there's also shouting coming from outside alive of shouting roar of voices stumping feet of a crowd. These birthday things were apparently very special. I need to go see what this commotion is about, I'll, be back soon in the meantime, those with birthday. Those who were never born, I take you through the weather. No, no, no, no
on the first clearly whereby one against and one that was being on the wind edge, the broadly dredged in western amendment government a page one month. The Yemen O Brien nation restrain wait a second. How did he seem over himself name on it? They nodded to the train. Is the border with the morning had done through the back door, with Mama sign on the platform silence broken down by the way? What everybody knows it along the coast was more like you, don't make no Batman what people may have a Mahina hammer when the next day no deeply them, I suppose they lost. Where do you bring your customers somewhat by the prospect of a blood from a silver bullet? Holes assumes the pull it when I got the county prices supply a bullet in the wax one sees them. How many came down didn't even with the boys are deemed by giving them the other stricken at sea? I really felt heavy so lightly. Gotta, my wife, my play on the natural, then in a black bodies damping every day, murders brief achieve anybody else was really dirty. Looking for good, I just thought that these products are not pleased as I go away which awaits made of amazement. The raising of naval airborne silence while longer child access by rebounded bigger, bother me at a time when a little longer so alarming the dogs at a meeting with abortion. I don't want them up at the bottom of my boma. You must do their work. Good, nonverbal cream, with oh geez, slightly ass, glad to neglect wrangling over your son went them all. Their memory good have been planned with the wings and a job with the breeze. These democratic, during the keys to the club and, above all the next day, more better than they do by, but us
Who. I'll tell you that was quite a scene. I will tell you right now: It seems that briny depths was in fact a code word. Which they had warned me about that for an undercover agent in the field, unfair, Fortunately, it see that it was the code word for every secret agent in the field, the signal for all of them to do every nefarious action that they had been planted years ago to perform all. We're town people with Of his friends and family review themselves to be carefully planted agents The bear week days
shift manager at the roofs grab the dish, count, soup, display and carried it an unmarked van had been sitting in the parking lot. As long as anyone could remember, and drove wildly away, hundreds of bushes and trees leapt into action revealing themselves to be suit and sunglass wearing agents in disguise, using clever com. Dooms that fooled all of for years, such as whole being a hand written sign that says I am a tree Larry Leroy out on the edge of town lit his refrigerator, on fire bud, he said that wasn't because of any secret agent stuff. He just wanted to do that. Someone had suggested it to him once, although he could not,
remember who, in fact it seems that free single person in night veil was actually a secret agent waiting to be activated. We had all been implanted with the exact same code phrase, which is the kind of sloppy organisation that is just what our government is coming to or whatever and such you know, look honestly My heart isn't in this reporting blah blah everyone. We ve ever known is secretly an agent, but here I am listeners secretly a hero secret. Even from myself, it was
Hector who saved Dana, but me me acting without memory or agency. What is happening to me not remember something so huge. I I need to talk to Carlos. Perhaps science can help me saying, So rarely applies to the real world, but once in a while, it provides a nice metaphor or turn of phrase that makes you think about real things differently. I am I'm hoping Carla's can do that for me that everyone has been activated as a secret agent and did the one thing they were secretly supposed to do for years.
Everyone has just gone right back to doing what they had been doing before everything back to normal. So that we all know we are all secretly under cover planted agents, ear to spy on each other, and since we all know it, we are no longer secret agents. We are just ourselves secretly, listen, I know it's confusing. But I didn't invent logic. Our extra to rest real ancestors did state do next.
For all the air being sucked out of the room. Your in we're sorry were so sorry, but this is the only way good night night veil, good night. Welcome to night veil is a production of commonplace books. It is written by Joseph Think and Geoffrey trainer and produced by Joseph thing. The voice of night veil is Cecil Baldwin the voice The Earl Harlan was: will weaken original music by disposition. All of it can be found at dispersion, dot info or disposition dot band camp dot, com episodes, whether with the bends by duty free from there.
Released, album all hands find out more about that album and their current tore at doom tree dot net comments: question. Email us at night veil at commonplace, books, dot com or followers on twitter at night fell. Radio check out welcome to night fell dot com for more information on this show, as well as all sorts of cool nightingale stuff you can own and while you're there. Consider clicking the donating that, because of you, Today's proverb, I want my haters thee, my motivators, mostly They tell me I suck and then I get sad this the terrible idea.
Hi, it's just a thank my friend, Jeffrey Nigh, created. Welcome to night fell back in twenty twelve, normally were the ones turning our ideas into writing, but for our brand new show start with this. It's you who do the creating Episode will talk about a topic as the creative process. Then we will give you two short assignments: something to consume and something to create. You can share your work on our membership for him to see what other people are up. Do we want you to start creating one simple assignment added time, because the best way to start writing is to start writing, find it where ever you get your part casts. X.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-15.