There's a new sheriff in Night Vale, and they want changes. Plus, Cecil runs into a former intern, the court develops some A.I. dragons, and a message about getting into the holiday spirit.
Weather: "She Knows" by John Fullbright, johnfullbrightmusic.com/
Music: Disparition, disparition.info.
Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com.
Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey, Jeffrey Grain. Or here. Do you love the show and want to help us keep making it check out our membership programme now on Patria on our members, get awesome exclusive rewards, like directors notes for every episode, exclusive bonus tracks from our lives show recordings entire bonus episodes and maybe, if you're, really interested in a brand new character named after you on welcomed, a nightingale plus will be posting. Surprise rewards that I can't tell you about just yet because it would ruin the surprise sound appealing and no, it does go to welcome tonight, veil, dot com and click on membership to sign up and hey thanks in advance. I fought the law and the law one. I ignored the law
The law one I abide
by the law and the law of,
to night there there's a new sheriff in town like Veil,
the former sheriff, whose name we never knew whose
we never saw and whose voice was
only ever heard through evoke motor is gone
our former sheriff was secretive, reclusive, real,
into classical music and click. Talk, Gracie rarely made public appearances and when he did, it was with a bullet and cape,
The new sheriff has a more public persona, refusing to where the traditional mask or Kate and actually allowing their first name to be known its SAM. By the way, the share
called a press conference this morning to announced that they are taking over the secret police effective immediately
bore on this story as it develops, but first an editorial. It's the holidays, night veil. I know many of you will get to spend this time with
people. You love, I know I'll, be sharing some ignored with my dearest family, Carlos Abbe Janis others. But let's not forget those people who quietly make our lives better. The postal carriers, the baristas and food servers, cab drivers and the agents from a vague, yet menacing government agency who sit outside our homes night after night. Recording all of our conversations and activities think how boring a job domestic espionage must be. They are out there at all hours. Do they ever get to sleep or spend holidays with families or take vacations? Leaving knows so the other day swept up in
holiday spirit. I took some delicious Pfeffer Nyssa cookies out to the windowless van across from my home and gave them to the agent sitting in the back. Her name is Monica Barnwell and she was just a lovely person. She appreciated that I recognised all the hard work she has put in the last several years surveillance me and I thank her for her service to our community
we had some small talk and then I said well, I gotta get back to my doll life. As I looked down at my shoes, she said thank Cecil and then I said Monica would you like me.
Two I dont know question the world government or being
or anti war or talk me,
or like political, dissident or something just to make sure
day a little more exciting. All that be so fine Cecil thanks, she said,
Then I went back inside and told my boyfriend. I wanted to get up a re, either read or camouflage so night veil, this holiday season think about all the people you may take for granted. You don't have to give them a gift or anything just a thank you and smile for all their hard work is enough, and if you have any
particularly juicy secrets, consider brightening some agents day by announcing them in a loud, clear voice to the nearest. He did microphone in your home.
The new sheriff has spoken. They opened their press conference with the following statement:
citizens of night veil. We have
of a crisis on our hands, and that crisis is then the sheriff
formed a ten minute modern dance peace set to music by Steve Reich, of course, that frantically yet lyrically conveyed a disdain for the fiscal irresponsibility of current mayor
in a cardinal the press corps loved the peace, especially it settled tribute to choreography
her honor Teresa declares markers, sweeping repetitive style
even though the sheriffs muscular longitudinal movements obviously indicated heavy training in Leicester, Hortense methodology, they applauded politely,
And the sheriff continued with their speech quote
our secret police force has bids
secretly requesting budget
increases to help cover
over time and new equipment made
you didn't know about it. The sheriff said because it's you no secret
doll, but we were requesting it secretly, don't put that it's a secret. The sheriff went on
instead. The mayor has decided to use our money to help
The citizens of our unfriendly neighbouring town desert,
We will not only see a rise in crime because we
have a mayor who decided to disrupt our stable economy but
it will also face a lack of financial ability to effectively stop this crime.
I will secretly undermine the mayor's authority with the help of the city
council and some lizard people. I know to keep now
Safe dont report, my
anger, quotes around the word safe. Their secret,
this is my promise to you.
Your new sheriff one rapporteur then ass.
What happened to the old sheriff,
The new sheriff responded by painting a canvas entirely blue more on this story, but first an update on the trial of this
Jerry Judge of as Dac, has brought in a computer programmer named Melanie Pennington to develop the first. Ever all
a jury for the trial of Hiram. Mc Daniels attorneys have had a difficult time, finding a jury of peers
poor miss as he is literally a five had a dragon and outside of his family seems to be the only one of his kind in the area, not knowing how to find act
we'll dragons to serve on the jury and not willing to have a five headed dragon.
Fairly jus by all humans judge as deck called for science to solve this problem, because, according to as Dac Science, has solved every other problem, both the prosecuting attorney, Troy Walsh and the court appointed defence attorney
also named Troy Walsh, agreed that this is a fair solution. An artificial intel
genes- is probably
your thing, anyone with a macbook and some red bull has already mastered. Like years ago, they
in unison, with identical smiles and matching haircuts Bennington
has been working with the young computer, prodigy Megan Wala be who
an eleven year old girl who inhabits what once was the body of a russian sailor.
And also was only born three years ago, but then the specifics of right into
The and her manifestation within time are really none of your business. While lobby is helping Pennington engine,
here, a sentient program that can think exactly like six different five headed dragons.
Megan has had a real affinity for computers ever since the the insight
in these school Jim that one time the other men
said the jury will be humans. Auditions for those Dury slots will be conducted Wednesday at the night veil, community theatre,
for of high rooms, five heads are being brought up on charges of conspiracy and attempted murder
of our mayor. The fifth head, the Violet One, is being quoted as a key witness by the prosecution
they're having a difficult time getting a private conversation with it. The trial
scheduled for early next year. Oh by the way listeners I read,
the two former station in Turn Maureen, I actually
notice, her at first as I was listening to and problem I just got.
It's a new musical about Alexander Hamilton,
who became our nations. Fourth president, because he successfully killed former vice President Ehrenberg in a dual anyway. The soundtrack is fantastic and I
was totally engrossed in my lips sinking and self styled choreography. When I saw marine waving to me from down the street
I saw she was with someone, but he's baseball hat was pulled down over his face, so I didn't get a good look at it
Marine then asked me for a letter stating she'd completed her internship because she needed those two credits for college
I reminded her. She spent most of her internship Flickr
in and out of existence. So I couldn't write the letter, but I
really excited to see she was dating someone, then
you said something about not assuming people or dating just because their hanging out blah blah blah. I don't even like boys blah blah, but I kept staring at the boy and the ball cap.
And I did not like him wine bit. I felt, like
knew him from somewhere, but I couldn't put my
on where no wealth
sure it won't come up again.
I told marine, it was a good thing. She wasn't into boys because this one seemed like bad news, really bad news. I whispered and
Green groaned and rolled her eyes in what I assume was agreement, then
good, seeing you and walked away
She shouted, come back and where's my credit letter while waving her fist and cussing, which is, I guess, how come
Today say goodbye
need to make an apology. Early
you're in today show I mentioned giving some cookies to thee agent from a vague, yet menacing government agency and in the process.
Ass, I revealed her full name as Monica Barnwell and the
location of her operation as in front of my home because of this
security breach. Monica
as apparently lost her job as a secret agent and
they go into hiding for the rest of her life, changing her love
and identity, and
ever seeing her family or friends again.
Really sorry about that one Monica, let's have a look at traffic. What do you say feet apart toes together
right foot turned forty five degrees, no need for me
medical precision, but if you have a pro tractor rake it into pieces and swallow it about
or by its numbers like nutrients, bend your knees.
The other things that allow for bending do not force malleability that right foot, though, what's it doing
you move your foot, memories aren't real. Do you control yourself, not if
dont remember being in control. Maybe we pretend to have experienced things, so we don't
to actually understand why they happened. Your foot is flexing now. Why?
what silent, siren song calls you're right foot! You are sitting, you are passive, steal your left foot idols in the dark, complacent and obedient your right foot serves a greater god. It flexes for its idle,
plastic and steel and full of fire and views your right foot wishes for you to pray with a clear mind and open eyes. This has been trapped.
And now an update on the new sheriffs press conference. The sheriff announced that, while they
didn't do anything about the money the mayor has already wasted on neighbouring towns. The secret police would
certainly make it clear to anyone from desert bluffs who might be trying to enter night to that they would not be wanted. The sheriff announced fail plan to tag all desert, bluffs citizens with bright orange hats that have the word
unwanted written in blinking, L, a p d lights across the front. As the sheriff said this, several journalists shifted uncomfortably in their seats. This was because their seats were
comfortable, but they still nodded excitedly about the sheriffs cool new idea, one
journalist pointed out, though, that the orange hat thing would
an added expense. What with having to print up hats,
design the OECD's and all that, and this whole press conference
seems to be about our cities, lack of funding for new projects, the journalist said and the tents silence that followed. The journalist added
everyone from desert Bluffs, is pretty easy to identify what with all the blood on theirs. But then the reporter was helpfully tackled and muzzled.
By the other reporters who did not want to get off on the wrong foot with the new sheriff as the Great television news man
Edward. Our bureau once said I dont rock the boat. Ok,
In the commotion, no one seemed to notice the appearance of several strangers
standing around the perimeter of the conference room, our new,
whose station in Turn Creed was there and clean. The strangers really didn't appear so much as seem to have always been there,
even though he was positive, they were not there at the start. They were completely still except for their breathing. They were definitely breathing.
And everyone heard it. No one knew what the strangers wanted, but they were certain. It wasn't good. The members of the press stepped back,
where it into the middle of the room they waited
and from the silence came a noise, their case
a sudden, oh it's
Twenty past the hour listeners I'd better get to the weather report. Here you go,
she knows. Is
she knows? I'm scared.
She knows bleed. Can man
she asked she
Ours is bad.
the day. Is it
Where was I? They waited for? The silence
came a noise, then there came a sudden, ok yeah, basically
The everyone was quiet until the rapporteur asked the sheriff, who are these people
will the secret police protect us. The sheriff did not respond. It was quiet, save for the strangers breathing for about three minutes
Then the questions and cries came in increasing volume and pace who are these people share,
why aren't they moving? What do they want? Has anyone
see my phone we're going to die, etc.
Eventually the room devolved into panic, members
the press shoving to get out, but in a way that suggested that the exit was
rule each other. Then the
I have raised their hand and announced into the microphone every things by no one believed
the sheriff and the sheriff. Knowing this rephrase the statement so
Things are not fine, but other things are fine. This, and here the sheriff indicated, the whole room is
probably fine, the panicked reporters were now filled with both fear and doubt the share
stood stupefied as a single bead of sweat rolled down their brow along the nose forming a thin wet crack across their entire face. No one brief, except the strangers, of course who, by the time the droplet had completed its erratic journey, were somehow several feet closer to the press corps. Despite never having visibly moved an inch every one in the room, including the sheriff, knew that death was upon them. None of them were afraid of death. They were instead terrified of what would come immediately before and
immediately after death listeners, like I said earlier, our own intern Karim was part of that press corps. Today, so
to the family of Intern. Corinne he's a good in turn and is doing great work. He got back.
The press conference a little bit ago saying he had a great time, and he also
I did some excellent reporting. According to Karim, the strange
encroached slowly on the remaining journalists me?
being without seeming to move? No one. Could
the strangers in the eye they did not know,
the strangers wanted of them just that there
Ives were likely over.
Said he heard green crying another person frantically chanting and he was trying to take it all in. But then he heard a flapping
He heard slapping of wings like
A brilliant and looking up. He saw a flash of black
yes and long feathered, creatures, descending from a dark sky and the next thing he knew he was back at the radio station
safely in turning once again, Karim called the
creatures that saved every one angels, but I
reminded him that there is no such thing and, according to the AP style Guide, it is illegal to acknowledge the existence of angels. So this is what cream is now.
Trying to argue with me about the fluidity of vernacular and the constant evolution of language. Our right, listen,
I need to deal with this statement.
For the real life actual application of that dream. You had last Tuesday we'll make a couple. So congratulations and is always good night night veil,
Latin tonight veil is the production of night veil presents. It is written by Joseph Think and Geoffrey Greener and produced by Joseph Think, the voice,
Val is Cecil Baldwin.
Original music by desperation, all of it can be found
Dispersion dot info or at dispersed,
Dot band camp dot com, this episode,
Whether was she knows by John Fulbright, find out more
John Fulbright, music dotcom comments, questions email. I sat info.
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Transcript generated on 2020-02-15.