An excerpt (read by Mara Wilson) of Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor's new novel The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home.
Coming March 24.
Pre-order now at http://welcometonightvale.com/books.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey, Jeffrey, greener here, and we have a new novel. It is called the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. It is the story of well it's the story of the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. It's a revenge story, a horror story and we could not be more excited to finally share it with you. I think it's our best novel, yet plus the audio book is narrated by our very own Mauro Wilson. What follows my voice here is an excerpt from the book read by night fills own Mauro Wilson.
Opera is doing the audio book. Bt W and check out, welcome tonight build outcome or listen to our February fifteenth episode to find out all of the dates and locations of our book. Tour hopefully were coming to your town. Maybe we can crush on your couch. The faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home comes out March, twenty fourth, but you can pre order it right now. This second Bree ordering is one of the best ways to support authors. You like so do that wherever it is you by your books, plus there are signed additions available to you just for you check out, welcome tonight, veal, dot, com slush books to get those links. Ok, here's the first sneak peak of the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, crag, twenty eleven. I set your shoes on fire all of them. They're in the trash can buy the rental office there. The smouldering the side of the.
Plastic, been, has melted away and Stuart and apartment for when three has already made for calls to the super hidden them sir, because I locked him in his bathroom because I didn't want the fire. That's just yet it's nice, the smell of burning I used to not like it as it reminded me of a particularly bad moment in my early life. That was so many years ago, and now I enjoy the smell of burning burning anything rubber cloth. Skin and small amounts hair, definitely hair even would affect the place on a cool winter night camp fire and a warm summer night how as a family of four fleas, leaving behind breathing they never ever owned to be consumed by flames plus there's true beauty in black ash quivering around bright orange edges, its art Craig. I know you appreciate art Also, the birds are alarmed, and I find that funny.
You, MR date tonight because you couldn't find your shoes, which is why I'm telling you now that their on fire and quickly melting plastic been there, when you try to rush to a shoe store your car wooden start because someone broke in jammed glass shards into the ignition shortly That's what the Locksmith said when she came to investigate the problem. Who would do something like that You wanted her professional opinion. She only Bagged and said she'd have to replace the ignition switch, which would take a couple of days and cost four hundred dollars. I suppose if you use the glass shards slasher tyres to keep you from your date. It would have been cheaper for you, but it wouldn't happen is beautiful. I don't think you notice the perfect arc of blood splatter across the floor mad when you cut your hand on the ignition. You screamed in pain, ignoring the beauty of your own nature. So please take a moment. Look out the window by the shower and appreciate the artwork I have created. I call it Craig,
impertinence, multimedia plastic, gasoline and shoes, but you're too busy moping. Even standing in that shower for ten minutes, because I'm in here with you the face sold woman inches from your neck. You would feel my boy if I still breathed. I think could be upsetting for you if you turned around better to let them, I run over you better not to see you haven't even touched the soap. You look pathetic because you, MR date, with a woman who was pretty and shared similar, loves and seemed genuinely interested in you or because, when you and to try to reschedule with her. She accuse you of texting her an inappropriate photo when, in fact you did no such thing. You can't hear me these are rhetorical questions anyway, I don't need a response. You can't even oh, how to respond to me. After all, you dont know I'm here, even though that, one day, a year ago, when you passed by the living room and half
Is the strange new chandelier hanging from the ceiling the one made from twisted limbs and neck of an old woman contorted into a shaped like a spider. And then you thought wait. What did I just see and you backed up to find that the hanging old woman was gone almost certain. She was never they're, probably sergeant her. I can see why you're upset The woman you did not go on a date with his two. No one wants to have a fair. State cancel on them and then that same date, inexplicably tax them a photo of a raccoon having its intestines, not out by a coyote. I mean I would want that. But I've never really been into dating, although it is true that once I was deeply in love so I can only assume most women would not like that kind of behaviour. I forgot to mention she received a text from you. While you were trying to get your car fixed, that included a photo of a devouring raccoon, the kind These fur was a glistening read about the mouth, its eyes golden,
Like a cornfield, the raccoons neck is Billy Broken and its organs are pink and gray. I'm sure disgusted, but honestly she's made of similar materials. So are you Craig. I'm not sorry. I sent her that photo using your phone And you shouldn't be either it was a good photo, discomforting reminder of Snowden Secret. That man is matter. Did you ever read catch twenty two it's a funny and sad book about moral hypocrisy and self interest. My favorite part is a cold, Snowden God when a small intestine unravelled from beneath his flat jacket. That's not a spoiler, because that expert out for decades and you should have read it by now. Plus you can't even hear me. You would not have enjoyed your date with Jesus, I'm sure, but that's not the point. The point. Is that just wasn't right for you? I know because I have spent the past three nights in her home. While she slept Ives
Edward along the hallway stare behind her ass, she climbed and have burrowed into her trial, two nap among the rotting things she keeps her she's quite organised. I like this about her and made it. Easier for me to go through her photo albums medical records and diaries. I want and a specific, because that would be invasive. I'm not like that no keeps a great deal of physical photos. She likes it through them. When she is feeling nostalgic are overwhelmed. I took crafting knife and carved away the faces from the photos. I only did this people who are not her parents and grandparents. I think families important children are the most important. Have you thought about children, Craig. To sell does not seem interested in having children. She wants to go to law school and open her own firm. She wants to travel a lot too, and you don't want that. Believe me. I've
gobbled enough for both of us, the world is awful. There is only russian illness out there you'll be fine right here and night. Valle d where he does, I will find another person to date. They will travel and be selfish and not raise a family. They will know No, the joy of raising a handsome gentle, smart boy like you, and they won't care, that's good for them. I'm only saying you don't want that. I know you Craig. I know what is good for you This would not have been good anyway, the bridge is burnt. Now, I suppose, along with you, Is you never hear from her again. Nope! I was wrong. She just tax it back. You're missing! That's why you're brooding in the shower Craig Deputy is wrong with you. She writes you two are done before you ever even got started another text. Please don't contact me again. Please
Ok, what I read initially as anger is probably fear you scared her Craig. We scared her I'm going over to her place now to block your number on her phone, so she doesn't have to deal with the emotional devastation of getting some mumbling apology text from you done. She looks in bad shape all her lights are out and she sitting on the edge of the couch staring at nothing then, for moment. She saw flicker of me beside her a crooked figure with no face and she screamed She's so dramatic about everything you are better off. Maybe this is bad time to bring this up. But you need to pay your credit card bill it. Maxed out and you ve missed the past. You do dates. Thing is, and this is going to sound selfish because it is, but you know, account suspended, and I was only half way through season. Three of chairs, though, track is a bit of putting, but it's still a good show. I really love the plot
is that norms nagging why Farrah turns out to have been dead for ten years and normal Kept her memory alive by continuing a fictional narrative about her Salmon Diane knew that bureau wasn't really alive and that enormous delusional, but an episode seven when they go to check on norm, they find cuddled up next to her Cade corpse and reading her Lord Byron, the first case of love and he's crying. Stanchest unbearable. But less unbearable than the brutal truth of the moment, mob, I do. I didn't get to finish washing cheers because you're behind on your credit card payments, I need you to deal with that also you're wasting water sending in the shower for so long stop. Brooding. I will run one of my jacket, yellow fingernails along the back of your neck. Your fee. Their used to brood all the time drove your mother crazy here a lot of stress and would come home crying. He would say His car parked along a curve block away just breathing
in sobbing and breathing, some more until his eyes and sheets were clear of their red lines, your mother, body a depression, he did not. It's dangerous to do that to people you know diagnosed, and with a mental health condition. If you're, not a doctor secretly live in everyone's home, and I have seen people coping at night coping with depression, your father Donald did not have depression. He had a difficult time coming to terms with his cancer, and eventually his body gave out lots of men in you. Family died young, but your father compare If they lived a long life, he got to see his forty four twenty day: He got to raise a son you when you were little. He called you big man and then when you grow up and you certainly grew up six with three quarter foot taller than your own dad by the age of fifteen. Called you'd little guy, he loved you and cared for you like the father. He never had.
Your paternal grandfather, Jacob died when your dad was only seven years old but Make it had been in a coma for four years before that, after the hunting accident, ripped away nearly half of his skull He was carrying a shotgun carelessly in the gun, went off, as did a good poor of his head? The spray of blood really was beautiful, but I suspect you wouldn't have appreciated it. Then either people, so rarely take the time to appreciate what is around them. Donald wanted you to have a loving father, so to teach you to read a bike to read, to be respected, others to be creative. Terrible, a guitar it to be fair. So as your father, but the important thing was that it was something you could be terrible at together and you ve always loved music, even if you and play a single instrument. Donald was a In giving father he loved you having a father who loves, you is so important,
now. This well you're watching your diet, and this is good. I want you to be healthy and you are I took some of your blood the other night. While you were sleeping sorry, I find a syringe and ended up using a knife from Rome that I've carried with me for a very long time. I took your blood night Veal, general hospital, uncertain Justly replaced Harrison kept sample your blood. Where came back perfect, this was good NEWS for Harrison to he doctor so amazed that his extraordinarily high hemoglobin count came back normal for once. Your father's early death on I'm sure, that's normal. And I'm glad you are health conscious because of it others body was filled with so many artificial chemicals in carcinogens over the years cancers and they were many were product. A person choices, not genetics, I'm old, older than you can imagine people.
The older than I can imagine, and I have met nearly every one in your family tree going back well over a century, there is very little cancer there. Rest assured, of course, you get here or see me and I'm fine with that, because I prefer you say in your healthy path, but really please work in your finances. Pay that credit card bill I want you to take care of yourself because I think you're, a nice man, Craig I've known you, their whole life, and you have a beautiful heart. You so much for your friends, your family and the people less fortunate than you, you They had three hundred dollars in your account last Christmas, and yet you Jill donated two hundred a doctor's without borders, its hard not to like you, Craig, I want to help you live a good life, raise a good family to teach your future, on love and respect is children is what your father would have wanted? What our father should want.
But please the water in the shower, starting to run cold and anyway, the fire trucks just arrived about. The pile of burning shoes, hurry and dry So you can see the art I made for you, Craig, I'm not going anywhere. You are part of my story, a stir. It started more than two hundred years ago on a state by the sea, long story, but don't worry we. So much time still left. If you enjoyed this excerpt, you can pre order. The book now signed editions of the faces old woman who secretly lives in your home are available to so go to welcome the night fell, dot com for links to all of those things and, on February, fifteenth, look far big old book tour announcement starting March twenty. Fourth, the books release state, I'm real excited ya and hey thanks.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-15.