Katey Sagal is known by the public in ways she doesn't see herself. She's known as an actor, but always thought of herself primarily as a singer. She's known as a seminal comedic TV character, even though she didn't think of herself as funny. She's defined by brash, confrontational roles, but sees herself as reserved, even shy. Katey and Marc talk about these contradictions and how they played out in public - on Married... with Children, Sons of Anarchy, her new show Rebel - and in private - in relationships, career stall-outs and struggles with substance abuse.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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all right. Let's do this, how are you what the fuckers, what the fuck bodies, what the fuck sticks, what the fuck stirs? What's up
everything all right are. You ok
She had backstory half backs that fully vexed. Are you not vexed? Are you not vexing so
The boys, silly girls, silly days, get the facts. Let's push back, what's the problem
You weren't, you got vaccines when you were a kid
being weird, get the facts.
Stop this should already today on the show. I talk to Katy Cigar
you know for married with children and sons of anarchy. She has a new show on Ebay,
she called rebel shut.
Grew up in show business. Yes or families in show business, family she's an accomplished singer and
I would like you to know that dad this show
is that a recovery talk so recovery?
the week here, but that's ok, it's good
we get into some of the food issue stuff, some of the code
pending dirty co staff are you
Getting some of their drinking druggie stuff, because
I don't care what anybody says or how anybody reacted.
Around your hunter but death? The truth is.
Attics in our galaxy stigmatized. Anybody who needs help and is openly
asking for help
stigmatized in this country,
made it sort of like a you know: economy in its along the same arc as anti vaccines. It's like you should be able to talk to us.
Why did you should be able to pull yourself up by your bootstraps? You should be able to to add.
Not need help. That's
but you're, not really sick, you're bodies? Fine, it's you
brain, but it's just not true.
But decidedly that is still-
that is still the deal.
And that's one of the reasons that anonymous is anonymous. Your I choose to be public about my sobriety, because I think it helps other people, but a lot of people can't be.
Will be judged. Goes on your record, that's one of the reasons that the anonymous you know what I mean you got to keep it to yourself.
Unless you want to be public about it to help other people, that's my belief, but in
out there in the world, no matter how much of it is out there, no matter how many people know, people who have drug problems there still
some part of it that young people
look at them is weak or as a problem or is potentially a trouble
that may be true, but
but either way it should be right.
Recognized is something that people need help with within and accepted as as a sickness anyway
all that being said, Katy Cigar was here and we did talk about it, a bit this pod gas dispute
Third, by better help, if you're feeling depressed
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did you guys watch that
ANA Hbo, MAX or HBO or whatever the fuck. It is what is a cue.
Into the storm what a great deal
a documentary. It really was
Well done this guy invested, what's this guy's name,
Colin HO back,
he went, he went in there. Man he saw is easy reserve at the beginning of Q and at the beginning of the of the problem,
and he put three years into this figured out the through
I figured out the players figured out the effect it had on people and really kind of made.
A kind of well rounded, well researched and true doc did not.
Infuse himself too much into it.
Like so many document carryings, do they become part of it. There ego your needs,
the attention and that it becomes half about them. He didn't do that.
He was there, his presence was felt anything
We crossed the line, except for once
and it was for good reason and really added to the drama of the thing, but you do kind of get to the end of the line of this thing and realise that the entire.
Q phenomenon was spearheaded by your most
likely. Seemingly this father and son team of nihilistic nerds, who kind of bread
the brains of millions of people.
And broke the world. The fact that a couple of men,
With my intentions. Could start
sup online and break the fucking world and sort of send thousands
hundreds of thousands of people's brain spinning.
Wait from them into a direction they
the point where they might not get their brains back is sort of daunting and terrifying that it was
that easy granted work, man, I'm not saying they're, all powerful
People really want to believe things that really want stories that have closure. They want things to be explained. They want their aim
you are to be honoured. They want to feel part of something bigger than themselves and
you get them angry enough and frost up enough. They'll kill people to realize it, but-
does get to the bottom of it, it makes me think about how do these people
that got played by this bullshit feel I mean
I know most of them are too proud to admit they got played and probably will just
your kind of live off the fumes of the thing and try to pull.
What they think is true and real.
That has some substantiation, but how does it feel to be that fuck em
obviously look man we're all marks. We ve all
played by one thing or another, and in that
one of the young, the hinges of conspiratorial.
Thinking, it's like what are you a mark for
What are you? How do you know what you know is real you're? What
you base your perception on. What are you thinking?
your identity is hanging awarded the facts. Who are you really? What is
true really yet now
that's the game right, we're all
kind of marks, but to see where this went just for thee, this,
power, tripping Guph of a couple of fuckin people who
figured it out online and then
God Guam dawn to by foul
tens of thousands of lost angry people, but also a guy
taken advantage of by people who were hip to the power of it? Then they hip Thea
the pathological lying pig president and he climbed onto it, used it every kind of fast
They involve thing is fascinating that a couple of people expats,
father and son team maybe could break the Fuckin world break the brains
Dis associate hundreds of thousands of people and so
a viral series,
the ideas that eat away at the truth, like acid
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That YO yo? My is a pleasant fella, so Kate?
Seagal, and I think that there is a moment here in your hear it.
During our conversation where there's this guy
da. We are alike moment and its around food issues. You know
I guess people who know me know this show no, that I'm kind of fucked up like that.
But I will tell you this as a man as a he. His
You can call me day if you want, but
You know I mean I may dude, we,
massive food issues, masses
body. This morphia
hyper aware like to the point where like if
I feel uncomfortable in my body because of what I perceive as B.
Heavy or wait were or fact
or whatever I perceive that
Going is so paralyzing that I am,
I can't breathe. I can't be touched,
Don't want to be seen you
There have been times when I dont want to live,
bite of my other. Would somehow
but would say neurosis.
Which they are not I mean but outside of, but aside for,
I, U drug addicts,
in the past my directive, personality or whatever shortcomings I may have. However, I may be fucked up whatever I may think of myself. These food
eating issues are the deepest ones and their dirt completely fucking, paralyzing and terrible.
I used to be so aware all the time of what you eat, why you eat it and then the cycles of self hatred, the cycles of body
it should the cycles of the outcome
pulse of weighing and then, if you,
you get into a role where you start losing weight that thrill of of of being sort of eggs
I stayed in Lupi from being an erect,
sick in your intent to mate
in a certain way or keep getting lower. If you look at the third season of glow the surprise it, nobody thought I had cancer. Is that character, because I started to lose what away just so I could eat onset.
Not feel bad about it, but then it got away from me and I just kept losing a losing and I were terrible, but it's very hard
made a balance at shit. So much of my
sense of self. Is wrapped up in how I feel about
my weight, I can't even explain it.
How fucking deep that issue is and how they like it makes you.
Wanna die inside
Oddly, you probably don't get the help. Her
work worker program around it that I should guess it really is my deepest issue by, but it was eight
just to say that just to say that you're not alone out their fellows, who
pinch themselves when they feel fat or have a.
Series of poking gestures around their stomach to check the dense,
today of what they perceive as their wait. Maybe that's uniquely me, I don't know,
But I do know that Mean Katy bonded around that we founded or undue stuff. We bonded IRAN.
Booze in drugs in recovery and it was a great talk.
Great to see you. I felt like we known each other fur for centuries,
Her new show rebel, airs Thursdays on Ebay.
Dear premiers tonight, at ten p M
and this is me talking to a case
He said I am very happy to be your finally nice to see you I'm a big fan. Are you
that's very nice. He is so true. I watched it
the pilot of the new thing. What do you think?
rebel. Its exciting
It's your out. Their kickin ass, with a with
nine kids out all different races engendered. Yes, many different husbands. Yes, I I think
It's interesting that how
some shows, seek to accommodate the diversity, how you gonna. Do it? Yes,
well, even though no actually yeah. No. This is a fictitious approach right, but I, like you too,
It I've never seen a done. I guess we're like that's your kid to you all
but you can carry it high character, it does, but the character seems like somebody would you could do that? Absolutely must he's got three different husbands. Yeah now might die
One kids adopt another all just the different races, unwanted doktor from a cop once a doktor from a car with a lawyer from a lawyer. After being a juvenile delinquency. Ok, no! No! I'm not a lawyer or not dad's. A lawyer right see you no more ram. I haven't seen
The age is lacking. Where, amid you know we're midway, I mean I've actually dizzy the pilot, but it with her. You know
but you were looking watching my
Health is not always my favorite thing to do. I can't it's hard and I slipped out of a sort of like oh. I think this is united, just kind of
a body exploit. What would you would he experienced when you do it like when you
watches have what is it? What is the feeling? I first I'm hypercritical right now hyper alike way to have precluded really self obsessed. Yet all I can see is me right over the earth and then I have to wife. I watch it again a couple times then I can see the whole project I right. First, I'm just like all yacht me yeah. I think I am I'm pretty much all got me on every viewing,
on that occasion
and occasionally am. I am working with somebody they're doing your job. Thank God there doing your job, but I've gotten
less critical myself as time goes on car, but it's hard,
You watch yourself on television because it if you're hyper?
a critical eye, they it's all stilted, it's just the nature of the medium right cause, they're they're, not
you're pulling off for trick in
like you really talking to somebody away,
You heard me MIKE S like in the sense that, like a lot of dialogue that happens in those
compressed stories they sort of unnatural. Yes, yes in general right, so
for me, like. I always feel that weird air in between lines, if I'm watching myself like as it's, not your acting, so
quite natural to my guy. Why can I
looked more relaxed her? Why not make it seem more natural or India or why couldn't
ever shot this one. It was off camera with so much better. We shall lose almost solution, so much better, didn't give a shit just throw it away yet. So
This is based on air and brok of its kind. Yes, it's inspired by air and Brok virtue and she's involved she's an exit.
Producer you haven't. Jesus Adamite, oh
I'm sure she is well. I mean we ve treated at each other, oh yeah, yeah, she's, very cool
yeah. I think she would yet you should have her on your show. She's awesome, I think, happened yet the US
lay great and fighting the good fight, so yeah that its loosely based? What yeah it's inspired by
but we don't have her life right. So it's not her LE it's just. She would give a murder or had broken. For I don't know. I guess I don't answer, but you can't give you the livelihoods. Goes there. She's
promise that you might have given up to somebody or frozen and do something awesome there. I should gave them to them. I don't know, I don't know better.
But she is involved in a sort of inspired by her in your sort of like
Would you call this characterises our consumer advocate a voice for the little guy? You that's what she or networks at its unable
Andy Garcia, I haven't seen him in a while so awesome. Is it fun organ? Oh, my god. Will you such a movie star so his
All these killer movie STAR stories, Ridge
any sit around and thousands yeah
most endearing fabulous way. I killed just throw out. The names of these famous directors are hunted this in this. When did that and I'm just
I'm in Thrall to ya. I love the way. Tell stories he's intense, it seems he's
towns will his Cuban. So he has this passionate Cuban.
Way and he's very here- is proud.
Of being cuban- he loves it he's playing a cuban character. I guess you don't feel tired director, thus on how the Cuban would do it, and so it is a different rhythm,
but he does, he has he's a very passionate zero funny. Do people don't think he's would
funding is mine. I think he's funny. I got you have seen I'm kind of play that dry funny in the oceans movies. A yankee is funny. He saw the straight guys. Can the steaming funny guy you guys, like always, kit, didn't fuck yeah?
in this project, a kind of just you know
I just order and morale yea, and he you now he's everyone likes it. I guess you order
people aware I
She don't in my real life, but its superfund apply. I bet I listen. Bernal guy gets. It gets a little.
If your chest, he does absolutely does very liberating and then is that other guy from a northern exposure, I feel, like I haven't, seen him forever: Don Corbett John Corbett, yet its own choosing the checking with people as they get older, like you do in our idea. Here he's doing fine like an all these he's,
at what set Netflix all the boys I loved before or other areas in the he's a man- and you know he is you know, he's MR dreamy guy. He is you know it's a super. Nice grew yeah, I'm gonna, say anything bad about anybody and working with right now. I've had so far, but I asked you: what are you in a sort of second financial? Does anything? Now he is cool everybody's, pretty cool
so far, everybody's grateful to have a job after everything that we ve just I've been through did
Were you shooting with protocols went home? We are now. You are young, oh right, where we were about to shoot the pilot. Just when all this went down, oh ok in so doing shut down. So
How much of you shot?
We are on episode. Six
you guys are going up and you're gonna be in it, whether herring, yeah and we just have a ten epoch.
because usually happen. Usually there on the can- or they are my maid making that up now they are. They are and there's a whole in others, that ridiculous pilot process which we got to skip, we just they just pick us up straight to SIRI, always supposed to shooting a pilot and waiting around and right on hearing if Rio, so you seem like,
you ve never really stopped working. Well now I mean yes, I have stopped working. I may have three children, so I've stopped, you know started, have stardom into reality, cadmium and be with them and
try to make them turn out. Oh yeah and they're so far, so good so howled I have twenty six
Twenty five and fourteen I've, a teenager at home, really yeah I'm
mom. I had a Mamma. I had a kid with Kurt, whose my third husband I mean it's kind of a little bit like the night air, keep guns of anarchy. Guy area that show he created it. He fell in love on the set of the bikers show not enough. We must
May I tossed up programme and really unfamiliar yeah, I'm on long time in that
so all of em, I just want to know I've been to. Ah I wonder,
it's probably a few more in my future,
I too am quite obsessive. So now we met in a twelve step Roma and he was working on the shield he worked on.
That's good with checklist.
And I was now getting out of the marriage number two enough. I had a gig, then I think I was on numb. Eight simple rules has a show. I did with John Rigour and
and then he wrote the motorcycle show.
With me in mind after we were married, so really yeah.
Nice actress she was written to be
smaller character, and then the network was like now it's bumper up the surgeries got the the swaggering neo chick. Listen then the swaggering you yeah, which was so great in my career, because I had been so known for comedy that it had been very difficult for people to realise that I'm actually not funny, I'm much more serious than that which is totally the truth,
and so he wrote me this great dramatic raw dumb
was really it opened? Finally, life changer color yeah work wise, but you grew up
in show business, which always I got, I read that soon in fascinates me when people grow up in this business,
as it seems like I mean
you're here when it was glamorous
my lord, if not glamorous, it was me,
the part. Everybody doesn't know what you know. It's hard working. My dad was an episodic television director. Basically there you know he did a man from Uncle Jack, I'll, kill their old old stuff and
I worked as butter from you, never did films, he did
did the omega man among Jerome, hastened yeah, that was his mouth
and I think,
Ultimately, he would have liked to have done more films, but he had a family with five kids and five kids
there are, in my view, yeah spite of say mom say one word he comes
my dad was from Russia came here when he was seven with his yiddish mother, who never ever spoke English upon Russia. They were free,
what is now I'm not gonna build.
Hence the name right, Belarus, Ukraine, Ukraine them for migration from Ukraine, where I got my families from the heart of it. So.
His side. His side is that the other side is apparently I'm an amish person from the other side when he thought I did that show you know that show who do you think you are rather shelf higher? Oh, you did the roots year. Oh, you know what I think. I saw your route. The love that show the courage it was all Jews drew. It was a General reserve was me and Terry Gross Jeff gold. While it was fantastic. I saw that Estonia loved it here. Don't I
that's for sure. When they do, you know they height. They put you on that show they don't tell you what they're gonna do her so at that
so they're. Taking me to Russia Cause, that's the most interesting part of my life turns out. My mother is
was amish royalty like away back so they're. Taking me to Pennsylvania, I'm meeting any closures, jewish nano
I knew my mother was not jewish. She was a white person from life. You know said that Europe, pencil somewhere area, was like a big mixed up stuff, but yeah
so I'm amish Russian they took you
the amish giant they did.
And they took me generations back about all these cousins named half steadily,
I mean it was really guile. That's you so like incongruous, too. Yes, who you are in her ear did to that effect, your sense of identity. While I do now
joke about it. Now, I'm not gonna say that no not really
They have always felt more sort of russian jewish. My father was a very big personality, and so you know
I have always felt stronger on that side of my family was your mom in show business. My mother was my mother, star
as a singer. She was eleven. She was called the singing sweetheart of charity County and had her own radio show real where religious and gas
they South Carolina for she was,
Unlike the old timey radio, like fifteen minutes a day for try sponsored by a flower sausage or something something I tried to track down, I can never find nothing, but then she would.
And to be a writer. She worked for
Well, here's a long story.
Short for Norman, lair
Norman Lear. I interviewed him,
he's a hunters now, lousy he's all ninety seven crazy he's. My godfather really, he introduced my parents,
my mother and my father? What was he doing then? Like writing for Danny Commissar something Yiddish Theatre
yet here in New York or hear hear out here. No kidding me for television
television was happening because my mother was the script supervisor on that.
Martin and Louis show
might not have radio yet right. I parents have been down a long time, so it's kind of like law.
Yeah but anyway, so my mother was working for Norman Norman, knew my dad through directing the Yiddish, theater and hooked em up your dad directed negotiator. Yes, my dance
spoke. Irish, everybody yiddish! Did you now,
my grandparents used to when they want me to understand what they are talking right. My grandmother always
she never learned. English really now she never spoke English.
Gets grubbing, like Hollywood.
Was born in Hollywood.
A man. I grew up all around you know my dad was like a journeyman. You know he did what we did like circus people here. So you know we grew up. I just moved around a lot.
As the family grew in this area? Yet we
get up on the West side, because things got things were well. Things were good right,
but I just then they still married you farewell my mother.
My mother died when she was forty seven she was young, so it should heart disease.
Terrible yard. She had some other stuff.
so, my mom died when I was nineteen. Twenty
and they're not, and then my dad remarried,
and my dad remarried, but you know who Gower and marched champion are we should do. They were like the Fred and Ginger of Broadway. Ok and we marched champion with big. So he married marched champion. The dancer was
Yes, the dancer she was my stepmother until you know my father died then gets also gets a little bit sad. Whisky withdrew at the beginning of the sad part, sugar yeah. All my twenties was a little bit. Funky lots. Alas, lots of sand
he died how he died. He was killed.
Set. My dad was directing a movie called world were three and he was on
and he was doing second unit knee was up on a mountain with a helicopter and he he got
disoriented- couldn't get a shot, walked the wrong direction into the helicopter
oh my god, yeah, so
but that was like a very that was horrific. Your twenties,
twenty illegal? How come you? How were you in the sibling? I'm number one I'm the first through the oldest I'm, the old us he's at all the younger siblings and cannot both parents are gone. Yeah,
yeah and I'd like to say that I kind of stepped in, but I didn't I just sort of I just checked out. I just got further and further into a dark hole.
What were you doing it at a time? When? Did you start like manifesting your talents waiting? I work
there's a musician I I've. Never I never will
to be an actor right but like when you
for a kid with all this show business around we doing stuff where you singing and dancing were you oh yeah yeah. I was in bands. I was like on my mom taught me to play the guitar
unlike in the late hedge, these kind of idea? No, no, my mom!
I'm taught me to play the guitar mid, sixty zero
was ten eleven year
and I could always sing. I was a singer and I had this kind of you know I
an ability. I was good and also from a year
age I was sort of I was.
And bans Rock IRAN's right now
the gray older boys yeah, it was fun,
do you like it? Anyone go on did do big things in Iraq, bans
not from high school, but later on. I met a lot of the or then
like, I think and write the rock business weren't you. While I go
sickly yeah pretty much I mean I was soon I kind of a struggle I mean I did. I made records and I was struggling background singer and I I was-
like a demo singer, you know they'd put your story. How does this work? So? Ok, so you, Norman where's your godfather, so you you're you spend time on sets. I imagine as a kid you're fired,
friends elementary school bring em to this rock.
They didn't like me. Otherwise you you never got worked into. A show. Did my father
there, when I was sixteen side of my my dad always so there should be an act which is one reason I never wanted to be. An actor wanted me to be. Well that's another story.
But why? Relinquishing back on the old man just push back, because I that's my nature. Was she like what kind of a Jew was? He was here
I guess stocky kind of loud you loud,
cigars involved, cigars, ass gods on the said, if you gotta
any step. Every Ceta bordered on people do my dad ran they loved him. They loved him and I would like an arms embargo, Boris, Boris, Seagal LAW.
Of time, and then I would say I would you because he was different. When it came home, he was
tired and loud- and I remember thinking- is loud. Nice word for angry China. Yeah here get big,
not always either
you know boozy and that no, not that not alcoholic like me right, but
bossy and that, like martini way, every day at whatever you know, when you come home and little Milltown do remember milltown wicker nano. That's a pill. It's like! Oh yeah. It's always rely. Pre volume Bell Revalue area. So there was that
and yet so here
that guy, and so I didn't whatever he's sir now he said left- and I said right that was that cutter circulated find yourself pretty much
so really worked in somewhere. He did. He wanted me to have a union card, so he wanted me to have health insurance. So when I was sixteen, he wrote me into you got me a job on this tv movie that he did was deemed Stockwell showed you thought about area
So I had apart on that and then he also directed me in Colombo. I was this is in my high school I was in high school could yet have two jobs to get a union carbide I'd, be calf, Hartley, Ryan,
So he got me union card which, to this day, I'm just so you know cause it's hard to get a new union. Wiser! Oh my god!
hush. I have to my my older
Kids are both actors yeah, that's a big hurdle therein, the union white whitebait. Why? Because there is less union shoot, Sir we're or lichens. Don't you have to sort of get half hearted,
after two jobs, anyways you're only allowed to have two jobs euphoria, but you
you get a job, it's kind of their catch dwells you're like a view of the area in someone s activity, exactly the right right here,
the know. Somebody raw got mine from my friend Steve broke. Put me in the mighty ducks too
DR cut out, I got my prayers.
Get your card so
You did Colombo deal demonstrate exciting, though right to June Peter fought now nothing. I didn't you a movie later years later with Peter FARC, where the end of his life, yes, and that yeah. That was pretty. That was pretty great.
I don't really remember him when he was Colombo. Member Jeff gold looms on the up so that I did by young. I do I go only remember how so Corky and Weary was so Corky and where'd. You gave me a ride home and I was sort of thinking like lousy hit non man on though it was a human
a ban on, oh, no, I haven't talked you haven't talked him said so, but I think he's quite the right, you're, a man about town who have to hear your cursor Mary. He was
but then you know, then I just I really wanted. I love to play music. That's what I have to do. I still do, but why
I'm trying to picture that. I always liked him fascinated with this time in Hollywood, where you
you're, like in your twenties in the seventies which is like that was the decade
were always just like a party in the streets right was insanity everywhere
drugs music. Yet,
people aware like it was like post hippy insanity. Well, it was,
Actually I was kind of so
nineteen, seventy five, I'm twenty years old. So it was that
period, all the way through mid eighties that it was really. You now
took a big shift to the hair, got back. The hare got bad. The shoulder pads got their YO adamant seventies likes, or were you in high score? Eighty nine seventeen hours, one was cool than to wait prior the best pantheon and then, and then it got I was sort of like him between. I was like you know, pre
you like go to San Francisco protest, the war sixty nine. I was thirteen right. You know where you miss. You must have been much. Sixteen was right, but
at the seventies see that idea that cars, young everything yeah
you start singing purpose
a band in high school
start singing a ban in high school, and I wonder you start go professional how's that happen,
I went to cowards out of high school going out in Valencia reactors worthy in Valencia and my down. If ever Winter
On January Allison Bree, I was in a class with Paul Rubens, David Housel, half wow, that's a big, yet
It was, while my dad said to me I said well, I want to go to that school because I don't have any great high school. I was completely like you know. I didn't.
I couldn't get into a regular. Where were you ve used in that area too?
was- and I was also just not going to school or your thing
I saw you got a weed. I was drinking Red Mountain wine, we're going to the latter armor yeah yeah blackberry.
These white varieties Whitecross, you are that the funds to Vienna Benzine Benzes, second, all second,
that's the other way, yeah my metal at a second on the house. How really lucky,
well that was regeneration to minimize like their eyes.
Economic value and Larry him yeah, all that and the diet pills. Oh, that's exactly what started. That's how it started. What the diapers
that kid apparently, even though I looked at myself, I just thought I'd look, you know. Curvy live accident, I was told those fewer
I killed. My mother made me believe. Do you still think you're fat guy Obese, one hundred percent? I hear you a man: do you have to do that thing region,
can't look in the mirror, sometimes spotty desired. I'd call. I have vice I've, it's it's my deepest issue.
Oh, my god, we are so alive. I just saw
billboard or myself a fucking billboard myself in you know this rebel showed that I'm area I call this girl than that. I sponsor
She says, take a picture. I take the picture. I said I looked fat Skype.
She said you are I'm saying I say look I know I know I'm nuts, but that's what I say, I'm so fucking nuts. I can't I can't shake it. It's a tough one.
Shake them because it my mother's anyway,
so like rob with this model
very recently are, as
In many cases my life has said. If I don't think I could love you if you're fat there but bread.
Well, it turns out that was not even true. She,
said to me like a few thanksgivings ago just casually. She said you know mark when you were a baby,
I don't think I knew how to love you like, I guess I guess we ve solved
Have you got for you? She said. I knew that I kind of peace that guy just the weird sort of glib honesty was kind of my work. But what is the point about the way she has maintained a weight of like a hundred and sixteen pounds for decades?
It's all she that's your whole life yeah she's obsessed
she pass them on to you, you totally yeah, it's a worse. It is the way I wait myself. This morning I was like LAO, I'm I like you. I had a body just morphia morning kiss like last night, I was like I'm fucked. I exercise constantly
you look great by the way
the scale is running like. While I was wrong ok day, you have the floor.
The way the scale this is so funny. Where have you come to my
Husband and I are both this way we're on. Did you make him away, though? He came to me that way because I buy you can make people this way that your with my child,
like, I know
said about relationships. I had- and I knows about my father because its contagious,
I guess they start to get self conscious. Why give your that crazy? There is it? Do I look back any just it spread through the whole family. Does its wealth, alcoholism? It's it's! The same thing is if ya
I mean, in my opinion, anything
the whole. So to speak.
I'm having a carved problem area now, oh I'm like
like I can and cannot do
you mean you can't have, or are you just overdue item one night
why don't you just want to my own junk is feeding it.
That really overdoing it, but I do beat the shit out of myself in order not to
Well, it's your head more, I mean for me. It is. I find that onlookers yeah I've been able to moderate. I can tiny eat most things. Like dwelling.
That bag, a swedish fish last night was probably not a great idea. We, I candy, and I'm sorry I don't have that you don't have the candy sugar. Thank all chocolate, cake and pie. Ok, gummy birth, flash vanish
but don't you know that's an eating better. You know that
the excuse for gummy bears and all that is because there's no earliest rates, straighter sugar hardy anyway
think what the point is that I think, with years of recovery, I what I've learned you joy, I have been,
I did not really kind of one hundred and going there. Don't you told him barest. Did Monaco shiny person it away the worst while, while here was the word it used to be in the old days, you know every rag magazine would would infest the twelve step world self in my right that National enquire set out like a drug attics were when they set up a picnic.
Most like you totally mortified. I've got no. I didn't realize you did that that was happening
is to be
we are firmly in the eighties when
You know I got so burger sober one. I was nineteen eighty six and I got sober the log cabin tally with our sacks of adversity, my favorite that we then I felt when I throw ship chairs around shit right, so so that the press would
would break out in the press, would be there. That's when I
learned really quickly to share in a general way, because almost everything I'd ever said in the twelve stuff around so fucking heinous cause? I don't I don't that still happening. I don't feel that happening. I dont think
So I don't read the I might get a look. I guess you, what sort of a wave were like you,
a sort of like somehow its.
Like yours, a time where people would mean
people, many there was a hip factor to meeting. Oh,
for a while right, well one iota.
Definitely not the case now that you used to in the eighties we'd get dressed up to go to meeting the mean it was like you know, cause you know,
you figure you're an attic, censier younger, I sort of socially inapt.
We have a lot of social anxiety. Riah I mean that's. That was part of my thing. Haha I couldn't deal with people rise, I get sober and there would be the best social meetings where
you know my sponsor Gazeta me yeah go talk to peep, I'd be like out,
I don't know you want to lose. You can have you gonna. Third gardener. You bear with factors
I guess, royalty sitting at the Nite, Owl fuckin thing or Road Dale, every one of you when you were a day like once or twice, but I was like
that's over New York's I've been out here since two thousand to sort of the east Side- guy, yes, Silverlake bag dressed up. You want to get you do what
now in like Social there's, cute girls and boys and keep everyone working to China well
you know the ones. I remember when I first got sober you not just all
for, like whatever did was key. I mean I was doomed to failure to put a trigger warning on this episode for Green Deacon. Through
who hold onto the tradition, like you guys you break into Judea well yeah, but I remember the guys that were actually you know cool. Do not just look at me and say you know what you're not sober long enough. Just sit down just yeah yeah yeah, all very pretty sit down that's riding down time, but waited
laxity start on. Diapers network starts yeah. When I was fourteen my planet who told you your fat, my dad director, my dad, the director the house had to be perfect. I was pursued for even out. What's funny, is you know he had a food thing so, like you now, he was just projecting on
what what do you mean? He was self conscious about over his weight would go up and down. He was like a food guy he was like, but he knew it. He'll be uncomfortable foul, always on a die. Are now gonna die, not happy. Fuck yeah, not a happy fat park and he was a really a fat guy earlier I look at pictures. The early was up here, so they
take me to the doktor gives we die of pills
I did not think I lost any weight, but I felt a lot back
Think I needed. You know antidepressant sure Hubley. What I needed an so then self medicating just started them show. Okay, so you found that you felt better. You were still chubby,
but you on your way via shit, yeah yeah.
Can you do that says thinking and to try to myself to wear a piano? I'm writing songs on prolific I'm just this is the way from Jack Jack
I consider adds nice drinking wine on the weekend. Smoking weed. I think there was any problem in what seventeen o fort
and I started the time, but then you know the postscript.
Would run out so that I'm buying black beauties on I'm doing a lot of different thing: yellow jackets, Yellow J,
it gets yeahs. Oh my god. Yes, I have not over there in a long time now and then before
no it's the eighties and then then I'm on the road like yeah, then I am in the throes of or the dumbest drug ever fever. So much better, well
In this sense it like how is cheaper. We
came out at longbourn by yourself and you don't have to follow somebody around. I can
low and be by myself right, but I mean you still have to deal with any go away. Quick yeah you take some pills is: are you give her? If you are, you have to keep on a fuckin bathroom? Yet that's true honest such now, but I loved, I did Coke two inches in. Like a fiend,
non coke and how am I
everything that gets here,
it places you end up because of that shit. It's crazy.
She bore you you're on the road with who has it start dead meat
career. How do you get added it? Have you become a background singer? While I dropped
data collar jets, Rome. I started that. I start our and went to colleagues for six mom would save of hassle and Paul ribbons and then re Africa, oh yeah, I just talked to Paul. I talked up all the time.
So great is annoying. I wandered on the head of his
Great guy should happen, I dont away, and it is our main college and then I drop- and I was in the theater department- is my lad. Would only let me go if I could audition this is where it all kits kind of like well. I guess I had some natural talent because I got into these place right, but I didn't we
do it so I got a job
a broadway. The road company of a Broadway show. I was a chorus girl MA, am
I just saying in latvia- and I were joe- it was called two gentlemen of Verona
I went on the road for nine months here and then I came on and then I got a job as a singing waitress and I
worked in this restaurant and then I got a record deal my age and the eighty. Now it saw ya. I think we're almost thirty eight easier. Maybe so
when it late set. Whenever kiss came out because KISS Jean summonses who took me to cast a blunder records and got me a record, you could have you made that monster. I was his waitress. That's our lot about
And you are who you were his singing waitress? I was his singing waitress
and this was like you at the beginning of kiss. It was there
first concert in LOS Angeles whole, never lying at the Santa Monica Civic and thereof,
like a long island right here and he was probably like still like a reasonable rock jus at that point up here.
Fantastic rock drew the only person I've ever met that never had a drink or a drug. I mean he was wild. He was like straight up business
and I was always taken with him. Yes,
Well, you know what I'm saying is you met him before he fully gotten degenerate
like. I think his bag is sex right. Well, I
was then I don't know his bag still circus. I don't know now, but where you ve gotta come out somewhere,
the idea that was his definitely his his jam and I was ass. It turned out that I was in a band at the time with a guy. He went to college with. It was just this weird sort of thing that happened in a city
before I knew what we had a record deal. I start making records and then that old records will this.
So the banned by first record or tobacco was called the group
with no name out a good new horrible
terrible Neil Burger
idea at Casablanca records. I don't know if you know what I do know that he was the prayer,
He was a big guy area, so that happen, and then that didn't happen, and then I was like a singer for higher and I would go back and forth between restraining gene,
I did long distance. Yes, I did yes, I I
ass, you call it dating right. Do you know her?
up here and there
for me I was like madly in love, but he was not.
It must be on the road constantly constant later
and he sang on record as I did the dead when
How did their little so solid records? Yeah yeah, I sang on his solar record yeah about that,
I remember those records. I was not a kiss
me neither I Didn'T- and it was my age group to ride him go in, I didn't
why, because I was in high school then- and I didn't I listen to a lotta rhythm and blues- I had a guy who then, who term yonder robber Johnson when I was in high. Surely I got that so I listened to all the I remember Runnin off to the ash grove which used to which is now the improv not hear about this voice. You now the ashes to burn down yearly, Rot had used burned out Oda, but I'd go
we often hear TAJ, Mahal and Willie Dixon we're there always hanging out of some guys had residencies yeah. So that's where he started singing with those guys ratura. Now I will I toward without a James I sang with ETA. This after the no name bandit is after the known they are. No heads got no hit
got no knock on it. Then we moved to a lecture records, got even less whose their value they storeroom
Let me a yes, I think so, Alan my I mean I don't think you would know any about. You already know any other man. No, I mean the only one that Iraq ended up being a net band was my friend Brian RE, who plays with Paul Macartney he
He was in our side bankers. The band was five singers absconded like the Mama's in the pop up blocker and then you know we ended up having a band. I ended up bearing the base player. I mean it goes on. It goes on and on the first, but I was the first husband who taught me about odours rating in our green. I think that's why I'm married those are both good story. Yoke ended, sadly, while not so terrible, but there's bed story in the green story. He added
this plane crash rye bread. How did he get in trouble for women through a pot of boiling water on it or not? The other way
Oh you know, you know you're right and then he began a reverend yeah got God,
because he's out of his mind, yeah music suffered
Somehow God doesn't help is up.
Sometimes you gotta turn your back on God and take the tricks ourselves right
rose a price to pay.
So you weren't debased by italian, better, he did
was very. He played in a ban called the sole survivors. Do yellow graduating your heart how's at it, so I married him and so those people they were in that bag. Nobody else he would now and after that
I just I was like a singer force for higher. I had bans are trying to get record deals with the rigorous company, oh yeah nation, and a record company. The kind I would say like how we got a girl, it does is unknown,
agent. There was no age and at that point, and then I lost my record deal, and so I
I remember when I am. I worked with Bet Midland
for five years and now, alas,
pretty amazing that was pretty gretta? What all around the world with her people ever lover-
and it was that was an open cattle call audition? That was like hundreds of girls line
Are you now to go into this sound stage in Singapore
y know acting
Ours is not yet we really, I was gonna, be amused. That was it. I just didn't even arrest or records you put up. I've put
my first one was when I was on married with children. I still did not give up, and so I got a deal on virgin records and I put out a solar I've put out for, I think, for solar
could I just keep I make come, you know now I just make common at that point
that was very invested in, like ok, people are gonna. Take me seriously. I wrote every song on this record. I know I'm an actor, but I'm a musician wonder no this parting and then I go on those radio towards here be like, could you say well and I visited on higher in mourning Rodya now, though, here so now,
now. I just make records because I like democratically and I've abandoned, I plan
a band of noise. I now super grid,
it's hot alike,
Well, I'm sure I mean you
you're living as an actor and stand up. Yes, dear Miss and this year and this, but what's your first love comedy,
Who knows you love ethnic? Now you do. I am
Did you call me? I have two in my mind in my heart like it's like
its causes all thing yet
I don't. I always love it. An iron oddly, since we ve had this year of terror off and grief for me, I have missed it Emma
and in a way you know like I
compulsive thing it's it's
it's. How I own mice
peace in the world. It runs pretty deep.
But love is a weird like I can't romanticize it it's like a net. It's like eating away
I do. I do play guitar. I do I I like
music by I'm. Not that I'm not that confident. I've gotten
pretty good at it, but I should its one.
Things were it's like. I should play with other people a bit. Yes,
in enacting sort of relative. We knew of for me to get to understand how to make it satisfies right. It takes a minute I mean when I first came to act,
thing, actors hate. When I say this, it just order happened. I didn't really have
acting school and I didn't go. I didn't I didn't train for it.
It was more a last minute, like so broke
I was so broke that I was like I got
just open any door that comes along and I ended up. Do
this little musical that these friends of mine Rodya in a garage right? An agent
came to see it and they came to see her cause. Pam Adeline was in a family. Was in it with me. This is
when pamby was like a sixteen year.
And they came to our call. It was called back street and we went and we were in the supply of these agents approach me and they said you wanna do you want to have an agent, and I was right now on a really want to do that, and I want to be an actor and they kept coming
may came like two or three times and then finally realised visit. Yet
you could work as an actor and I was like oh, oh well, ok,
so I just said yes and will help
I'm your broke
because I was broke because we know that this,
nineteen, I wasn't. Soviets was nineteen. Eighty four, but I mean like what you for your term would bedmate were all of the world in the new towards other people. There's not a lot of money that we just do unto money, drugs, fuck, all that United kids. You know
And on another mature with I too,
with an eye toward with bad a tortoise Tanya Tucker, oh she's, great, oh! She was great when she was with Glenn Campbell. While I had great stores- and he was on the bus with us and Anna
yeah I do that are put on a maze and amazing guy and greater toddler yeah. He was in his corner. I could say some stuff I'll I'll tell you later
Anyway, he then I I did a lot of session stuff. I sang on eleven Johns records, I was kind alike,
I never learned how to read music. I have a very good ear, so I'd be royal, I could come
the ECB. I also had a manager there was thrown me money if I couldn't pay my room. How about you?
then the drugs
how bad was I at that point pretty bad
I was reading our what it was
his blow. It was pills, it was
alcohol it was, I was cut.
Like a little chemist. I was very hour.
What they call high bottom editor
forms of I was still functioning in the world should, unlike what are you
also in a world that was saturated with drugs, imbues saturate life right. That was the lime.
As you know, was until I start working and television, and I realized oh shit. You know I can't stay put
four in the morning,
I gotta, be there and my first job on television. I ll never forget the woman who was in it was a sober person.
And she would talk about jobs.
Just gonna say I'm just gonna say it was with Mary taller, more Ochre and Mary Mary was well known as the Sober Korea and IRAN
I went to that job and she would talk about it and I lied or I'd, say your arm silver too, and I'm thinking I'm such a like online. Lears years later she was my eskimo years late
I took her out in New York and I told her the truth and I said I have to thank you because
You are the reason I ended up in a room. I mean she's one of the reasons why it shows it was
all the merry show it was the Merry tower moors return. After
the big Mary, Tyler Marcia. She played a divorce, say Danny to veto directed it. He gave me the gig. This is me like Little rock singer, unlike what's happening, and they remain so in reserve.
Did you do the play with PAM? Now this is ass
as soon as I sign with an age, and I got a gig at the at the mark, taper in a big musical. I go
Opera rock opera. I've had a russian Jew in Iraq. Offer great that I didn't speak. One
word and I sobbed and cried and CBS said one of them.
I'll come audition here, so I got the job
urban and then there was merry and it was a whole new thing to me. Will she like-
It was very this now. I understand why she was what she while she was guarded. She was,
it's very like not super engaging not
and I think it's an ordinary Mary Tyler, more no, not cold,
just self protective. Ok, you know your your maritime more on your end are here you know, so she was
She was great misuse off some with me, like. I don't even know how to put my face and the light showed come over and lift my chin up, and so here you know, you'd do vision, stolen or which camera mean either or at least a camera left came a right. Unlike wait. What do you mean just raise a hand to
just like I started to learn how to say like which where's my camera, so we're. Ok,
with which we want to? We ok
yeah, I mean in hindsight. I realise that job ended still months over and I just that
law. Just go back to my rock and roll minor shot. My days, my real job, and in so doing the background of again
now I got married with children like an almost within three months. All I got so that's it! That's what happened. I I love
that job within irey here and then she got bad weather oil. What's what is the? What does that mean?
well, I mean what, for what is that look like? I had a boy,
for the time or feudatories already a boyfriend? Who I am
Creature! I now his name was spider. Are you got that are getting better
spider, and I were you know he was in a band with this. Guy
Chuckie Weiss Dahlia Argue, guided outliers jockeys decanters sheen yeah, I was. I was at the counter single Rikiu Jonesy alarm weights in Turkey, wizen all that and strider.
In spite of some new young Tom, I
met young tog. I didn't actually know him. I knew chalk and Chuck really well, and I and I know Ricky
So anyway, so yeah biter yeah.
It is wrong that spider now you have announced by now. I don't think she ran silent, splatter spider.
Wasn't in love jugglers, as I was another spy.
Of course, and were of course I want ya, got it got pretty got you know it just got back
I just got like I would get, which is like a daily thing here, aren't good here on an island.
It's kind of new. I knew from early on that that some here that this is not good,
there. You can control that. I couldn't controller, that's what I now and so what who got? You wouldn't how'd. You end up victor
over the log cabin logger. Actually Yucca was my first make she spider broke.
Spider high large on yeah yeah yeah. I don't need another meeting. Sarah anymore, we're married
whatever and honour.
spider ran off with somebody Andrea. I want
to the meeting. Looking for shock,
who was already in the Kolocha opened up.
Spider and I
am I gonna walk down there, a bunch of people. I knew what they were like, oh you're. Finally, here we ve been
even those in I just thought: what are they?
I wonder if he wears a fighter.
Sit down shut up, you know those through the early sobriety, sit down, shut up, washes coffee cup, don't say anything and I just heard stuff in and then
is kept going on. I think I was still looking for your family friends there that ideal. I haven't, I learned I'm sure they wouldn't let you leave after the war
plus you know I mean I knew I knew it. I knew it was you now dark it. It's you
Now. Gentlemen alliance, can you go through that we're just jangled overtime? You know and your prayers God, please get me
Through this one area, the worst, the way it is dead, he became sweep. You can't sleep, you can't do worst.
So then till there I am observer and then and then you go for good
and then I started working worrisome actor them
my whole sort of
that was two months sober when I started work on merit with show how'd you get a job,
turn audition. I mean my eight by this time. I have an Asia Europe, so she's
and me out. She sends me the scripture does. This is a network that isn't even a network.
We got a good shot is no one. I thought all right at my own, because I'm not really I'm not your mainstream actor. Regular, like mania.
Because I've never really fit. I still confidant Adam. I am, I feel a gun
they fit into the actor community, so much
an auditor off and then I really didn't. Then I was just
out, so I went in and
audition and war. Funny closing
I don T always there and we got there were like you, I had a pair yeah yeah
Eddie, I'm just not on
no add, but he's a super regular do has just set out actor rewrite
and we got on great, so
How much of the characters? Your creation, I cow? Is it written verses
I think it was written. More to be slovenly, knows, rose to be like Rosanna, Joan SAM Kennison outward or who are adored, and I
thought now and when I read it, I really thought no. They have to have some going on. Two people have not been married either, so they have to have either a great
sex life, something's gone on so I'd die, sexy
rob I went in and all you know like dolled up in Algeria, kind of like fifty
house why, right away little tight, dress visually, defining part of the show? Well they liked it.
Like the head on it, oh yeah,
I mean it was always my thing like. If these people are gonna fight- and you know she- you know something has to be
Can you Madge? Can you believe what a lightning rod that show was at that time, unbelievable how defined that network we have referred to this day. In that event,
For your show, like the Simpsons, probably would have happened, but it was
ultra lightning rod. Can you imagine
such an innocent time were met.
It would? Children was the
lightning, rod the cultural lightning. We were all stunned. I mean, I think you know, for the first three years,
you couldn't even get it unless you had like rabbit ears on your tv. You know if I asked you don't get fucked
and so we don't even know. If successful, we knew nothing and the right kind of at an I ll. Never forget. We went on some tour of bowling alleys or I don't know they sent us out on some like some and everybody was relating.
Alan we'd get fan mail, saying. Ah, my family is just like that or I live next door to those people or Bob, and I thought oh wow. This is really
people are. This is like regular people worry caricature of a certain type of America, yet it really really was and belong to flows. People wondered MIKE Pegs clothes minimums whose why
it could land on either side the people that got the joke and the people that were the joke, o totally and enabled at hated the joke, and then do you know
who stood our ratings as they kept trying to get us off the air right right. The
when it was more mostly lefties, right,
Now, as one moment I ll never forget we centre flowers. Every year, her name was Terry, were Coulter and terror
The rapporteur wrote this whole thing about. You know her kid camp
what you know. This is not ok for children, so about show was right to get us off the air currents, yellow version, exaggerating here and all I did was got us on the front of the New York Times, and you know it doubled our audience as she was right here. They loved aggravated yeah and really do so whatever
with great rhinos along run I'll you, you must have major pretty rich
yeah, I got pretty richer and then I got pretty.
Or to cause. I am, then I got divorced him. Why? What so? When did you start having kids I started:
having kids when I was on married with children. My first
child I lost. It was really another said. You know I got sad stories
I had a still born child and they had written it into the to the serious and then I lost that baby, and so that was horrible. So they made her lover.
After that, I went on to have my two older kids and I was pregnant on the show and then they would send me home and pay me they were so like,
just go more laid out in order to take the risk, I'm so
is a great honour. Their movements so brutal to have that expectation then have to go to sleep at night was horrible
really really heartbreaking, but I was
but look at a time when we have the Vienna these amazing to older kids- and I have that had happened. I wouldn't have anything. You know how sir you show in the devil
you were there? You were the one with the money that would happen D ass worst. It was hard and this was the first husband the baseline has. This is the drama
The tremor ivy, who I only have kind things to say about now, because two kids with him.
You kids with honour, I wouldn't have them without him so and you guys get along the kids get along Boethius everybody, ok, everybody
that's right, you now, eventually, eventually you took its taken some time, but eventually yeah and you ended on your feet,
landed on my feet. Somebody said to me
we're about money in Algeria?
money laundering, to one when my when I went through the divorce from that woman, see right when you start talking about it. It comes like it through
and I'm way over, but the point being yes
people said: don't worry about the money, my Keaton, I got nothing, go we and
and I landed a mafia. You learned anything I don't know
that's gonna, how I I certainly my life like that now to I just sort of fear
Like well, this look
like the serious thing they could ever happen. However, I've I've
a mere before, and then it wasn't the shittiest thing that's ever happen. So maybe maybe I'm gonna look at it that way what I'd start
realises that none of its unusual, it's something humans.
Through no matter what it is right, there's nothing there,
gonna happen. You that's can be like. That's never happened to a human power, absolutely and there's something comforting about that. They really night goes from going broke to getting sick to death, whatever all of it and also goes to you know.
The thing that you think is impossible to accomplish year. If you can find that one person, that's done it right, and that means you can do to show. But
so there is something to be said about.
Acknowledging their limitations again, not
gonna be an astronaut allowance and I now
think that comes with age. I fix
thank you now lie bids ale, helpful busy. I wish you could do it
recommend AIDS people. Do it yeah. If you
of talent, understand what and how to use it. So it doesn't.
Strangle you from the inside. You know I know, but
How do you avoid if you're creative not being strangled front
I find it all. I began. Al Qaeda goes here that some things I can't understand here too
the self loving thing in and how that becomes an engine. I don't, I don't quite understand
don't like when people think that you do it on purpose, cause it's like
Why would anyone do that?
Why would anyone nurture that why this idea?
if you're just like that, you can we create MIKE. I believe me now. I do not
I don't want to be like this. Now I mean it's it's.
The whole, you know it's like trying to turn your head off in arms like. I, don't want to think that much I've gotten better man. Do you met a day? I I I am an inconsistent meditated.
I bet you honestly: have you been
sitting right. I didn't do it for years righteous started like for five months ago. That's not what kind of do you out of breath? I do Andy. Biddle dummy go I'll fuck.
Head space out, oh yeah yeah. I had come to the third person didn't constantly. I should listen. I went to a future, as is guided issues to guided breath meditation rat, there's no visuals its counting breaths staying in the breath when thoughts come get back to the breath.
That's it do you do it more than once a day like today, fifteen minutes. Ok, that's great to see our
to a teacher who said to me you have to do this twice a day for twenty minutes. I would like to emphasize tat and I could
I've done that consistently for periods of time and then I can't and then them I said
grew up. My unexpected unama expectation is like all of I can't do it twice a day, I'm just not going to do it all, and so that stressed this, that's the only thing I'm learning from at all. During this thing, this lockdown, whatever
we ve all been through is like, if I don't have this routine prime
I don't like now I get up like I started doing like five son salutation about ten
benefit yoga and that I do the meditation every day, but also work out with a train of three times. We can hide twice a week, some like on. Why would I do it? Even when I wake up it's like that thing about when he first gets over, you make your bed
I still do it like I get up to today and like maybe I'll just put the meditation of it and then and then I'm doing it
I'm doing the very like that voice is secondary. Now I love that
right, do you feel better or do you feel
enter like I did it right
he again re that's a lot of it. I don't know what the meditation is doing for me.
I think, it's a cumulative effects. I mean to me what I was under. What I understand and what I ve experienced is that
We spend their time observing your thoughts right. That's what meditation is. Will you do so? You have learned TAT when you in your brain, exactly that's happening right where
the difference. We mind in brain right here. Then you don't attach so much to all those crazy thoughts. What striking, I believe that all thing about feelings are aren't thoughts or whatever that are in fact bit but like that, I still have problems with that. They kind artifacts.
They may not. You may now that the thoughts go with feelings may not
the greatest and you might not want to act on them by your feelings of feelings, but, like I think it's right that sober
thing to wear it, just sort of the neck
right thing like yours that trick of getting into the present we rule
to realize that I've known this for a long time, but I don't think I've known it is deeply since I meditated
most of what you reacting to your brain is making up for one reason or another, completely united? You have much control over that, but you can with meditation separate it right more successfully. I have a friend
This is a big meditated. We always tells me that the brain is the brains. Purpose is to tell you to turn right and then to turn LAO
trying to get you know, go when the light is green rife and we we
assign all these other things to the brain. The brain is not to figure out all the stuff that we try to figure out.
You say that all the time I just got to figure out, I just got to figure this out. I just got to figure it out, and it's so fucking dumb
Norway the world's done well, and then you know
that's the whole deal figure out o figuring
out is not a step, is not enough.
Yeah and then there's just eat the paranoia. The resentment journey now
worried you strike it comes out of nowhere. I am grateful as falconers. I everything's fine everything. If I might, I cannot sit with that. Even during this fuckin locked out.
Everyday. My nature is to get up and go like a fuck. I got a what? What do you have to do? Nothing? What do you? What do you does nothing
What's an alcoholic respect, you know if you really believe that alcoholism lives in your brain, which is really what it is. The substances aren't really what it's about the alcoholic thinking here for
so thus anywhere else. You, oh here it says. Oh boy, it's
You know you wake up just like here. We here we go out and then you now you now through the process of recovery, I'll pay. You never stops. That's what I've learned. I don't think
that initial sort of
it's my twenty second year, yes,
You just learn how to manage it. That's my experience.
Learn how to not yet some it, but you know it happened. So is like you re, you do deep. We realise and understand that some shit just is not that important and that's the relief
of age and sobriety? Is that like now it's like what the fuck was I worked up about. I give you think back and other insanity like this stupid
I mean I used to really yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah relationships and work. Those are my those are my big insane. I mean you know, try
the figure out what s and this is going to happen. I mean nothing as you know, it's like you, too,
what's funny when people say to you, how do you mean
those career decisions. How did you plan to do blah blah blah and your dress? I argue what do you mean? I don't lay at any rate, I don't know, what's gonna happen to my right, you know somebody
offers you with this and you take it. Oh, it's really annoying by the sea to your pen has actually trying to hide your desperation. Exactly that's what I answered. I filter
but, like I e a relation like I'm for six years ago,
I I asked to amend
We owe person to marry me well like I would like
I never realized a depth of that micro dependency. Until I got into a relationship where I could not see it yeah
like everyone around music, Dude Minoan,
anything of course right, but I, like I broke up with this woman.
I take a restraining order and I got back together with them. Yeah, oh yeah, that she has done not
It's not gonna happen and we agreed that stuff. I think when it gets that extreme. I really do think you you, you won and done. I think you learn it
Did you really know, then you see? The sign was reviewed, dodged. The fuckin bullet adds to bullet yeah. I remember my second marriage and, like I didn't know how to get out. I didn't know how to, and there was all kind of shit going on and those like, I gotta get out of here and I couldn't get out. I was slake and
you know my next husband, whose my current husband I would like you know. I just was more aware. I just we had a better,
kicker arm my first copy date with my current husband I took my spots or with
No, really, I guess I thought. I wonder why don't you know what's good for you? I was like arrived, so I brought my security. Can I don't like it
point three, she goes ya- think you're good. It's ok see black, that's cute. It was well
was necessary was thank. You know I don't like
I repeat my I want others
when the benefits of benefits of sobriety, I, where the fuck I got the energy, I don't know like, I look like I just got,
kitten in on I've been with these cats before your worship. Did you forget the insanity, but I gotta go back at certain relationships by giving
the horrible ones where I was a monster in whatever like
dont know where it comes from, but it's it's.
We still in there somewhere the monster, sure o
reset kidding. I don't think we lose our defects, I mean that's why
You know the benefit of sobriety is the benefit and deed, and the struggle is now you're awake. You
You are aware, a choice, you have you and you
have no choice, but to do I mean I suppose you can just live in bad behavior. You can just sort of do that. However
You're just now
awaken aware, and you have to take responsibility and your account of all your era. Shit man, I'll, tell you what I know right.
So many go shopping too much, and hopefully you don't administrative balance, sugar and careful. I got canyon, we let my
Do the shopping did a degree as I should have a good time, and now, sir,
We are, I guess we get our covers. I think so I don't know he. Did you tell your natural outward
to tell you about my getting you gotta give as I go to my new tv show, the area, the rebel just Rebel rebel rebel. She said
saving the world she's trying to yeah. She is actually a very. I entertain, she's an empowered thanks for saying that she's an empowering what I
like playing about her the most as she empowers other people she's not thought about this is not about here. Let me let me catch the fish for you. It's about here. Take the pole. We go down to the stream young figure it out. We are NOS enjoyable, gray, do journey,
Jews have now, I think I know my dad was like my dad was more his socialist than anything else. Who is not a religious jus? One time we had a pass over, this is funny. We
pass over service at my house and my dad put on this record by this kind of moisture oyster here, and he was trying to follow the record right, and so my little yiddish grandmother comes over and was so condescend data and mean to him there and just like laughed at me, so that was it there. There went the record, their went pass over there. Why did you know that was it, but you never won over the lira or anything I don't know I did I had. I had passed over with the lears about five years ago. He all of us came over and yeah and he had all the kids over in my family, the many you irritated the many and then their generators. Yes, yes, he's got awesome. Kids, we ve gotta, kittens twenties, your thirties, a twin, see other girls, they're, ok, yeah that he had with Lynn their wonder for their great his Minna. I love Norman. I do his podcast just a little while I only had one he did. I, though I thought I saw, was a vigorous above shag, its birthday,
Ah, yes, vote yet is above Sagoth Birthday Party somebody's house, that's built on me where the Tate House was the guaranteed has was big producer of of
That show Bob was oh. Yes, I was at a party that house too, and Tom Jones performed is at the same heroic, big old house, although our when I went with Gregg Shoe GINO Craig Schumacher. Yes, sir,
Craig Environment Minister, the law,
master, so he invited me to this party and we, when he goes come to this thing and Tom Jones is going out, and I was like a man
It's one in the morning,
Tom Jones, I'm tired, and he came, he finally showed up. You have me and Norman, and I think Bill Bur have a cigar. The old
that was why the grotto direction water grotto somewhere around our yes, it's it, but this is the house today,
I built right, the producer yeah of what was shouted activism. You know that without the Drummer with John State Eyes, yes, yes, yes, my kids, why my kid
the now, not growing camping other name now, but yes do bad, show me a billion dollars a billion dollars and built that house
It was a pleasure. It is really nice to see you meet you. I feel like. I had met you before, but I don't love. I have worked well
we ve known each other for centuries, halfway sure skits go back and many lives, although it back to the UK.
Ah maybe yeah. I know it is similar older. You get feels like you know, everybody weathers.
People you, you know you just can't yes and survive with you have some Hansen's. I am Microsoft. I well what
How could the chef thank you so much Markham thrilled to have been here, it's nice to see you
How was that that was great right? How good was that have to get her? I gave her a mug and it broke and she hasn't
ACT may want to get it,
the brine that isn't broken so nice to have people back in the room. Here
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takes on this music
precisely what I just landed on another another's,
Thank you. Boys riff,
that moved me in the moment.
Burma lives a monkey and find a cat angels fuckin everywhere, but Sammy the Red is year blasters on top of it
to make cats
Transcript generated on 2021-04-09.