« WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1285 - Jennifer Hudson

2021-12-06 | 🔗

Jennifer Hudson didn’t start singing with her eyes open until she was 19 years old. That’s not a metaphor. Jennifer tells Marc how she was so afraid to sing in public, the only way she could do it was by closing her eyes. They talk about what it was like to finally feel brave enough to open them and the doors that also opened up when she did. Jennifer explains the centrality of church in her life, how faith helped guide her through unspeakable tragedy, and why she got Aretha Franklin’s blessing to portray her in the movie Respect.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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happened. I have not had a illness like this a cold. I thought I had cope. Nine hundred times, but never Nothing that locked that kind of got hold of me. I got like old school cold. All tie me cold right now, but I mean the figure out whether was covered are not, of course, at the beginning, but I think sink up. Things worked out. I gotta be honest with you. I'm a little nostalgic, the days when you get a cold- and you didn't have to wonder whether or not you a disease, a plague that if he brought out into the world, kill could kill him. You know compromise people were old people or on vaccinate people that last category added no actual harsh, but Please understand it was framed as a joke, but I got a fucking cold old school head, stuffy scratchy voice throat hurt sweating. The night it's been going around G,
our actions on the show. Today. How did you get you know? Jennifer Hudson I mean She was in the movie respect with me here, She wanted Oscar for dream, girls, you ve done a lot of amazing Grammy Award Winning records and she is away watcher spokesperson and I'm not I'm not belittling that we talk about it. We we talk about. Wait. Watchers, I told her. I miss the old time he wait. Watchers straight up points man I got there spliced. I still of my points calculator because a lot of you like mark. But you were never. You never had of await problem. Fine. but I haven't eating disorder which One of the symptoms is thinking. I have away problem and managing my weight control, my food intake was important to me and still is and the way I learned how to do. It was on the old tie. Me wait watchers, B B the points, the point calculator,
but dad but she's here and it's exciting here's some other stuff. I got more stuff to tell you you want. Your w e f March, delivered before Christmas. This Wednesday December eighth is the last day to get t. Shipping by the twenty fourth go to pod, swag, dotcom, Slash, W p four click on the March tab at devotee of POD dotcom. Also at deputy dot, com, you can click on the tour page and get links for all of my shows on the this may be the last time tour next year. There is a lot out of dates, and there's gonna be more coming and also Let me remind you for FUCK's sake, make sure you're at the right ticket outlet go to them. Just go to the links at W G, pod, dot, com, sweat tour. I get all these new dm from people like three, your dollars for tickets, sudden no, that's scalper site and they got very clever about drawing
new to them. You think you're at the right place and you're not do yourself a favor just go to Deputy Ipod Doc. Compromise tour use those links you don't get into that. Like those no tickets who have that our nine hundred hours I dont charge at much, I'm I'm I'm a cheap date. Man get you in compare listen to some of my peers, ah a couple other things. Friends at the Paris Theatre in New York City, who were very nice too, host us for alive deputy, Last month there doing screening of the french connection in thirty five millimeter this Thursday December ninth, they were aspired to do this, based on our talk with Jason Bailey about New York City movies. So if you like, and you're in New York GO watch the greatest New York City movies, on the big screen and finally, people there's a nationwide fundraiser to help raise money for the comedy community. The pandemic knocked a lot of performers off the tracks and comedy gives back was set up to provide a safety net of medical treatment, financial assistance, more! This Thursday December ninth com
many clubs and then use all across the country are participating in the comedy gives back laughing for good initiative and you can help too no matter how big or small you can make a donation by texting laugh to seven o seven o seven o got it and go to come but he gives back to learn more right. So that's it so I got this cold. Mighty, given some people, the cold, but here's happened so Wednesday, I get a covert test like good kind, the pc artist because I gotta do an event Wednesday night am. I was a moderating a panel, a for your consideration panel. Then, the next day I woke up with a cold and I tested myself again at home with the air. the djinn test, and I was negative again, so it's definitely just an old time. He called by I d go through some stuff, You have given someone cold. muttering that and I'm sorry, but I thought it was. Wouldn't be there because to be honest with even watching that pilot again at the UN
and reservation dogs is, is one the few truly ground, breaking shows that I remember seeing in my lifetime seriously, I mean that whole world and that they do total lack of representation. That Indigenous people have in any real kind of humane and human way is, is very real, this is the first time almost any of us have seen it handles beautifully with humor and sadness and the appeal those, but it just it it. It is groundbreaking because it gives You know indigenous people, a voice that just never existed before this in mainstream culture in pop culture, and I just it just moved me to fuck and tears. every time I see it. I watch out for compiling episode again and I we saw the last ten minutes and choked up just because of how beautiful it is
that there is a whole world of humanity in our own country. That has been marginalized and attempted. Annihilation through genocide. At one point, our history and now has at is this one show that is aid beautiful and honest representation of that we live in it just moved me and I was I was thrilled to be part of the panel, and it is good to see a meet some of those There is good to see sterile and again, but but Needless to say that I already said it, I got a cold where we were going with this sort of fighting for a couple days ago. I fucking go and unity, Am I the asshole? I guess I'm. Yes, I dont want to cancel my comedy spot out straight with people MIKE that called there was that we had a gigantic. I had it Chris, sir. I have it on my guard. there has been going around. I do want to cancel my spots. Gives people go We will go to see me even just a year, fifty minutes, while the comedy store people
thousand in town for and I know what do the store cancelled and I dont know. Why does it bother me at bothers me? So I go and I had last night but not before last Saturday night I too amazing sets. Why did a lot of ripping, because I was, my kind of a funk and I did not really in a funk boat tat, some issues lately and my buddy dean dowry. Fucking called me out, Ok, you hear it. He called me and it was emotional and explain to you as a second you want. It do even want to no hold on a second. Maybe I'll tell you. I don't know if you ve ever wanted to make your home feel safer. There is no better time than now. This week, our friends It simply say forgiving. W g of listeners. Early access to all their holiday deals. That's forty percent! off their award winning home security. Simply say
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then a little fucking? You know a little edgy angry I can hear you are pushing. buttons yeah. I can see though the tone and I stand up shit in places and you know I was just like pushing everybody away I talked to deem the other day and its on that fancy what you'll be on tomorrow and I just kind of broke down here was like dude you you sound like you used to sound. we started W e f number. Fuck man in I've known this was going on. I knew, I was getting snappy a new house, fucking shit, you know I knew I was starting to feel like you to vindicate aided and righteous about shit. I was saying about people, that's totally unnecessary, snapping out of people feeling are justified in that anger and the truth be told I, like you know it was concerning me. I knew I had to pull back And I haven't been hung up on this, but it just a reality. You know it they, the
unfolding of grief, is long and weird. My dad said and my mom's getting older, and you know. neither does it just life, but I don't talk to me many people about it. You know got you know I went, and so my therapist a couple times but like. I can underestimate the impact of the last year of the tragedy of the last year for all of us, but I just you know, do feel myself closing down. I do feel my heart closing up and I and I can't I can't make an argument for opening it sometimes and that's crazy, because that means like all the good stuff that you get when you open your heart to two people or just to receive things all that stuff, you shut, that out, then all you get his anger and these shoved that inside yourself or you can push out into the world. Now we comedies a fine place for me to push out anger into the world, but even that there's some jokes, I'm doing work
I'm doing them in the tone of them and the subject matter. It's like they make me kind of feel I come. I want to cry. think, you're hilarious, that's a problem like that same thing, I talk about before that. Might my my resentment of human beings is is relative in an call to my everyday for them. In look. You know people our voyage and the world is ending, happy, happy holidays, the card them having made, but but it's true. You know I've got to figure out a way through or back or something, and I think just talking about it would deem was okay and talking here. Now is ok, but it's like one simple thing specially. If you're in the fuckin recovery racket, it's like I'm gonna meetings regularly. I'm not talking either alcoholics as much as I used to am stubborn about that here are my good, I'm fuckin twenty two years into this fuckin thing: I don't you.
What do I need? Like? That's the tone, that's the tone I'm all right, then I'm fuckin fine words, problem do have a problem with me? Is your problem with me. That's weird thing is like that tone you're in general and bullying to that tone is like a cry for help of some kind. But my issue is like ya: push people away to see if I can get them back, but only let him back so far sort of emotionally crippled in your kind of accepting in receiving the love properly so do I It's kind of a tough poised to being yeah. It's now like one he's. Gonna happen. Where am I, gonna do it. When am I gonna fuck it? if even a matter of Manning Upper, doing the work or whatever I feel it right under the surface. You know when you hearts clinched up, so we ve been that way, I've been like harbouring alot of like resentments, and I don't need to be I'm good
very judge mental and critical of people, and I talk and she had no need to its unnecessary kind of feels. Good, though talking shits one of my Hobbes not great, folks listen to me, I'm gonna level with you, I was wrong Ok. What was wrong about well earlier this year I got a pitch to do ads for liquid death. I was like, what's liquid death and there are like its water. Just water yeah just water, but an entire boy can but skulls on it and therefore, looks like a heavy metal album cover, and I said that stupid, hissing ever and no one has ever gonna buy it. Then they sent me some. start drinking, it might get started drink in it and I kept running out of it. I need to get more and now I'm totally hooked on liquid death. My guests ask me about it: I'm having trouble remembering a time where I drink water that wasn't liquid death, and I know a lot of you- are hooked on liquid death as well so. I was wrong. It's not stupid right! It's great water and cuts down on plastic pollution thanks to their recycle, will tomboy cans and
because they don't say ten percent of the profits from every can't sold to help kill plastic. pollution so join me and all the other liquid death fans and get it to murder your thirst and there's four shipping on our water and merchant liquid deft outcome. Swash, W Tia that's weak with death that calm, Slash, w e F grab some animal food sprouts and even seven eleven has it. I've got boxes of it. So many boxes. Ok, you guys. Here we go Jennifer, Hudson, Jim Four Hudson Plato, either Franklin in respect. I worked with her in that movie that movies, now available to buy a rent on digital platforms in its also available on DVD and Blu Ray, and It was finally able to get a robot to talk- and this is me talking Jennifer Hudson,
You knew I play guitar. We see sitting around the studio men. Whenever I find yourself in Then everybody was a musician arose, hang around playing but to see oddities, because I want to get started. How many you know. I don't know yeah, I try to get them for free. You can get them for free, just make some call serene yet you're Jennifer Hudson, you just say, should have your hudson. It wants a guitar, I dont know purple when I'm an ad purple gets up yet General Hudson wants a prince guitar, yet I think what she wants: a prince guitar with the symbol. You want that simple. I want the sum not while I on simple yeah. But how did you do too little to represent pregnancy? I'm sure you can get a guitar, I'm I'm absolutely positive, you just decide the brand, or should I go for consumer pro it? What I mean I I play a media. The big ones are fender and gives him, but there's a lot of little places. That'll make a special.
guitar really sure, but they'll kill take care you, you know I maybe that's my Christmas gift ass. Have you or do? I know you know what a colleague instruments in my house. I have a heart. I have working harp and like a big harpies, I have horns, like work on organ. I gotta tell you I'm in Orient, so you play within our knocker began. I like to have things and that that is that represents, What do you mean? I go about. People come in a museum, Amelia instruments. I gotta musicians, ok bring this to life, you yeah, so just how people over guy who can play the harp? Well, nobody really can always have to like higher one hardware, really Jennifer Joint Joanna Newsome. Look her up she's. A new Joanna Joanna Newsome is a very sort of creative in out their heart player. Got please to big harp. Ok many records, many record
drag. I can join in Iraq a lotta record. Ok, I wanna hear it is like a harp, ok and achieve cheese. She married Andy Hamburg, the funny guy from Essen. Now who did that music videos and Hamburg he's on Brooklyn nine. I argued ace. Sulky got our forgot. The organ I have a hard or Ghana have horns. I have arms drums I may is set up, you offer rehearsals and musicians and then some of em on display. I do not have here is a guitar. I get a cup of coffee I want to get a purple we're once you just get one princes. Don t. You think I could you come on. You're Jennifer, ass. It went from now find out. Who's got princes guitar what they might be very expensive they have to be here. I just I just assume that somehow just give it to you. If you talk because of you say I can't I can't have you too. I know I know that a company will give you one. I dont know that you'll be able get princess, guitar. Ok,
what were they want me to expect me to be able to pull a? No? No, no. No you happy have one now works. Take a picture needed Erika. Ok, it going display and hang it up all the other instruments that I do not play. I think I can play on a bit is up here. Is this? Is it it is a studio with all the stuff? You know it is not the red, the Franklin local studio, throne, room, really to her. Almost in your house, you some pizzas, everyone that anyhow Emma House, I wanna plans is actually Rikers is a Marquis at the lab it doesn't say a wreath of you, but I have this he its Miro. We are that I had painted on the wall and is dedicated to her right and then I have a lot of the keepsakes from the film like the props and stubbornly Romania, and it makes up the room. Let's. Why got the organ when we were on set during one of the? turn things you know them. The value judgments were lie. Yes, and I fell in love with the organ with every project. I keep a keepsake and sat beside. I'm gonna get a bee him in three
again here. You gotta say you know, That is one reason why you have found out. I am I M d pick me out one an old one or new one. It's think is but here is really some days I'd brand new, like they rebuilt Pierre, you everything, and so all the musicians who come in my house like this is the best organ ever I love it lets grand we do all our resources in their and our record an errand anything. It's weird, like all that, although stuff all that music that we're playing on all those instruments, it's really like it is, style that you like re old style right, but their dignity. All grooves is so yeah. It's a different vat but different feel as if you did a whole record. Was it like that not get nowhere that now I'm inspired tear you know the project. please refer in like research and music and her approach, and we are holding here, has inspired me to one approach
my music in my recording process. That way so now, like someone, do I want to record in my house, would lie if musicians do it lie right excel Armagh. Others will my dream. What was it? How did you or me? How does it work usually goes? I dont do it, but, like you know, when I look at a record is nine: The people on the record producer and half of we never meet the eye? never see them like after some of them singleness all like a couple times, I've done do it. He and I started thinking to do it. I was singing one person indeed about attendance, Dunham who's. That record. You know you, don't you in your just by yourself and with it. I know it is that's. Never even yes, nl. Madam president, like two via about later, people are likely to be in contact and let it breathe. if an alive way here, so you ever so for an hour in the way
record today feels extremely technical and his soul. I oh my god, is draining like thugs at least the life out of me. I like it when his love and I can respond to the musicians on the spot and fill it as we Gul versus Doin Somethin plan. I, like the surprise myself, wrote me or experience something that I don't even away his royal Schubert. So the only time that you really get to do those in actual life, yes performance. Yes, not you, like you when I tell the story on time about when we were on the set of respect- and it was that Christmas Party and you just you just stop by and they have that little combo higher rate, where the little combo from town is singing Christmas on, and everybody likes to the area an animal is like us and you I gotta know I feel like I've been five it's your up. There
Do you remember what you saying was I got now behold the Lamb yeah. I love that song. So much group insured thing in it, you're not even singing, and you just talking about it, I'm starting to choke up. Is it such a beautiful saw, I know, but when you do like live like that, because I've been in the studio with you doing the repeats the pieces and no songs and their wishes. You with musicians, live in a cafeteria doing at song, and it was amazing, just amazing, just locked right in business. Business is like a breeze life in. To me. That's my everything. You do just be around love music love musician here, so it and then is in a moment, rise: nothing plant varieties style but thus church. So what was that song of now behold, the impressive Lemme God avaricious RAM got yes and that what is at a churches the gospel solve our Franklin. I what does occur Franklin in the family, that songs from them
it is time the man is the Vogue one of the focuses on the song of came removal of the desert. Exotic Christmas off just a gospel song, or is it Miss Services, both oh yeah, you could think it every Sunday if you turn into comes our Christmas. As you see right, it's a song. You grew up with oh yeah. Oh my guy yeah yeah yeah. I used to seeing the the is is male and female, on the record- and I used to say never that are probably saying that they will. Actually. I think I sang both of the versus the eye, but some like they, you gotta, get up a getting. You should get you saw mark. I not. I saw it. Oh that's a good one. I only have a few songs. I have nothing to do with guy there's a few songs. I love but they're, not godsons. Yes, David Bowe, resign, Lou, red song couple I just played live. but some people for the second time in my life, really the guitar I put a band together and sang in front of people very exciting and I never do it though yeah, I'm a comic. So I actually I don't get that scare.
we're doing Comedy Otto. Imagine you get scared singing right, but so do actually strap a guitar and go out in the stage and by terrified nervous and excited didn't you get all Braun we're on our way. We did the changes, the fellow we learn again. I want you to go on get better at others, because you know I imagine when you first started singing you get choked up, I get choked up So I come tight I thought you I'm thinking too much. I mean. When did you start, though? When did you start that? Well, I didn't start singing with my eyes open until I was nineteen years, whether what is that even me I was I was. I hear stage fright and I not an inner started singing in charge. When you were a kid, though- and I was a kid, so you just stand up there- your eyes, Claudia or our big for sallow and when it came to the same, be completely terrified, today, we still do. I may not even have sown avatars, because I'm Michael, I did I do that to myself, because they got the best of a really but you do it even
but sir your hard on yourself be yourself up about an idea to me, and I still have like us stay right here and now it hit me in the wings the stage right before I go out, I'm for economic dwindled once I would a secure and without, like I, just reasoning, saying mess endorsement. in New York for audience, I will tell he was there and I will cycle Mokanna can gladly I don't even know what I'm saying what I'm gonna do. This is me workin out right before you came time for me to walk out on this. That, yes, one word very, was a god. It was at the like where the central park, it was a huge market, rather York, Erin. Also, yes, message, daughter, MA it's how you in a new era in her time, yes- and in that moment I felt myself out of things ass, a group you don't you say you can compensate for this. Would if you miss weren't, you like you can make us something like that is what goes to my mind before walk out on the stage, and I was I was forgive myself out and
but soon as our walk, honesty, decide, abysses home, exactly is home right and it just goes away. That's. Why years for me to get that? What is what- I think eventually, I think, like you said, you'd Urien singly rise onto night. What happened? Is Most, mostly, your life is a performer depending on what kind of person you are. You spend pretending, like you not afraid, and then one day you not afraid because you live. Do you know what I mean you might get yet where you are? Who you are is scary thing now before us out of the gate to sound a battalion everything else? I let him the same song. I don't know what I was thinking. I should go home. Would you have to do train in the Italian? Yes, it's a data on a pandemic. I learned the sombre and I'm a year and that's why I chose to do a thing because analysing saint classical music since I was in high school and that being you had all the time in the world around us all. Don't a pandemic, as this is the perfect amount of time for me to be able to invest more time in my energy and really learn the song it took me too much to learn,
the song. So that's why? What I that's? How was able to tell myself instead performs us it Chacha teachings. You did the work here just and they put see when I think I'm Miss Gibson. yeah, you got some like, don't think about it. You just gotta autopilot, you got it. I don't think I e rookie. It was all in here right. So what, you do in kind. You do. Do you make sure you understand you Tyner doesn't matter? Did you see it written? So you sound wives, yes again, it's two months alarm sounded like I gotta give. What I can get in the mountains and that I can get it and go with it, is best as I can and then focus on the later gather it as I go, but I'm the kind of person networks down to the last sick and land, good, elated, well, that's or for, and what I gotta says outside you have no idea, may have look commonly may have looked easy on space, but in my mind what was
happening in going on. Oh my god, I hate them. There's the the actor David Harbour were so for I talked to him. He says what stage using stranger. Thank you get act, but he said he we always talk about that stage. Fright like he's gotta do play is, is about I want to do a whole play any sneeze on stage the entire time the play and he's in the wings waiting to go on and he has at moments like somebody get me a script. Here is what we have the psychosocial. Yes, I don't, I don't miss said I'm felt them. I mean I guess what the music I did, but I didn't have a lot. It's different. When you have a lot, is at stake and, like you know, if you can, if you're in a high profile thing ray. You know that makes it even work. Nobody can give a shit if I Nyssa earlier The two hundred seats in how we were light so
just out you're doing this that doing Preston stuff. Now. Are you having done so many things at the at this one and another? Yes, last night, sorry how's our mandate was really nice. I enjoy your Robinson smoke, you absent. I got to sit and talk to him and we did it in a view together about Miss frankly, which was so cool because they go way back. She's eddies. it was his long, his friend right their family. trying to re, she was seven when I first met, and she was why, while he sat like some of the best songs, I think around yesterday by the tracks, my dear tiers of a clown, thus to remember wow We want a mine of which I didn't realize you until night over the way you do the things you do value temptations my mother used as all the time- and I was like that, my mother used to think that in the euro and of course my girl sounds like There is a golden too,
to be able to prevent. That was the first time you gotta know it wasn't my first time, but have you done with him? Yes and we? we talked about that which I apparently was eight years ago. Six is about how you what we say in another area- and I was on her man I got- was for economic, oh my god, I'm sitting his, they give you smell like how you know. I don't like those things lightly. How do you yeah how's the feedback on the movie been. It's been, me saying right wing. You know plan of lesson. I kind of treasure, like a red, the frankly, the scary, to step in those now right knows in adjusting their whole laden and people can be really picky. Bear I've been really blown away by? How will it have been reached So you ve, because yes is exciting, to get the robot in his life is one those cannot Marianna Almoner recorded at around one hundred zero iraqi career like? Are they gonna receive it all? Those thanks go to my mind, but it's been over
overwhelmingly beautiful. I think a lot of people didn't know anything about right. and you know even maybe the true fans or whatever, and I dont think even the as much as the darkness tat they got, into the movie and evening in knowing there's more my even I just don't think, people had any idea of that woman's your journey and I am an trauma that you want to- that is social, because even for myself, I didn't folding the. I do know anything I mean until I read your I read the I read that I read the biography whenever the Biography of Wechsler, so oh. I got learned all this stuff in David Writs Day book. Yes, and it's like heavy man, it's heavy. like when I first when I talk about you in the movie and you look at that old stuff. That will owe footage of a wreath of which he studied is used. are to realise that woman early on in our public presentation of herself was full on PTSD near LA la like you
that that weird flat affect you know that before she sort of came in to herself was She would you shot down right, and I just I mean it was. It was hard to understand a first and I started to realize like that Until she got away from TAT, yeah: she was like you know like pvc. Like Stockholm Syndrome, women's rights ass, the thing like the portraying her and others being able to have a chance to be around her and get to know her, it made it. make more sense of why she was the way she was. You know, as I will cause a tiresome. Oliveira is frank. I'm like that were why she fell industry no like may allow. Would you like me, you know you never knew what you still with her and she was in a very express a person when she said what she says. She say what she said. Right average, who's gonna like it now? I think about it. It seems Ike
so like us, a she'll shock and away where unanimity, which is understandable, why do you look the conditions in the situations and from our perspective, It makes much more sense now here we are for sure her talent was so specific and so kind of undeniable that it's gonna come out, no matter what, but you know whatever the vessel that she's in or were, however, she's handle in her shit. You know it is all relative to what she came from. Yes, you know, and it ended all makes sense. Yes, in relation to that, I mean the way there. whereas Whittaker portrayed dead man, it was menacing right when you are, Didn't we working with that guy when you reside in guiding, get to do anything but you're doing I didn t know none but like just there. must have been have my bombs as imagining that doing a single both of you would have been like this is amazing, but to work with forest. and the sea his approach and the way he
Animal Celia too. Without words at times, but still giving you the essence of every bit of where your enemy seal was. I can, as in the weight of a man who put it was so good. The whole thing was so good, so still live in Chicago. I do like in it boy arrays affluence. I'm Chicago are you in the city or outside Islam and buried. Now I am regionally from the city subsiding were area born and raised here. I've no sense, you know like, I only know them. I was sure tat I may I go there and I have grown to like it, because I worked there at times. I've been there for several times over the last four years. It's a real city that has its own idea it is only a few of those really at their own thing, but there's a whole. I've only talk you a few people that have grown up there and this autumn ology, a dark mythology to Chicago, but I mean now is that was a big Thriving nice, neighborhood, some point right when you were gone up,
always rough for us. I don't know if I ever really knew the difference. I was very sheltered and stay with my mother yeah. That's why I ended up in a way that I am now thinking she pretend we were. Aids hurts every day every day of the week here you are just for sit on me. You know, I guess, there's a part of it, because my mother used to say idle hands as the devil's workshop ear and then I grandmothers brother was a pass at the church, in TAT all have borrowed and the house what was it Dr younger we lived on sickly. Third in a church was on forty Fifthing Greenwood. He and his family cha. Ok was at me. Well, It is made up of family life or I'm very family, oriented cherisher. It, though I heard your neighbor his law, family, terriers, small, but it wasn't a store for Serbia is like a legit traditional chart Baptist back this up and my grandmother was soloists the charge and she was sickly about it
in other words, so I used to stay in the house with all the time and rather must guide us that it could privately about the streets a whole lot more than my people, and even though they had a little sister until you hurt me thinking like was that in their wouldn't even know you gotta show. Was it there, your mama's like Young, an angry. I have to protect this one. Would not. She did that with all of us out just more obedient than the others, lively oil and allow their one over. So he s on the baby, some assessor Julia and my brother will pass. His name was Jason. Ah, they everybody's that individual Saudi their thing and allows the baby. That's like ok, Wedge Organization did that Austria do occur. I won't do that right home by it. Yet we grew up in the church. all day my mother was a tourist secretary. My grandmother was the salary or to school to the yes, I went to see her and then like to be creative, but yet we Robin Hood sire. but I didn't feel dangerous. I mean in your mind, no
No, because we didn't know we were poor were or you know where was the old man, my father here or not, Otherwise, a bus driver, so he traveled a large piece of Dr Greyhound Bus or where they together now so he wasn't around not sometimes when he chose to be. He was around did you ever relationship? Will now ever seek went out when I sixteen determined to meet all my because he had ETA children siblings, a real. So when I got old enough to do that, I wanted to go search, but then she wanted no you're half brothers and sisters. Yes, that was the intention! My father head twenty seven children stop and am like that. the youngest that we now have. Twenty seven show. Yes, eleven girls fixing boy many women, her baby out and the yes
name with SAM Sam Hudson. No thank you. I will be Jennifer's Simpson, that's! Ok! I'm sorry if I'm djinn foreheads, I think I will be a whole new person. Reply would be almost if one day if you took his name, if they the review hearted that crew, I think I'll, be a come out. Everyone be sitting here for you. Lucky was gone. I know well, sir, you find all these people? Are these siblings quite a few? What once became June Frozen, so the world on my summer must allow citizens will went to my fathers mothers to me, her in the neighbors sounded like Yahoo. You serious any like John for his initial system so that come out of the way They start coming around, for you know how and then
however, must also be so happy to know like when we go to? Mr Medina has one oh, this is our gets. It meet heard throughout our childhood Verona. as other. Yes, that's my whole symbolism all announced. I would a J J, Jason Jennifer Ochre. Ah doesn't mean. I'm a mother methodically and my have. Since I have tons of half citizens, I have a brother name, Lenny Sister name Dinah I don't see em dining, you have a relationship with some of them. You do here. Ok their family may Europe. Others were she she's intricacies in Chicago and she, the bus driver, really hilarious. Again, the crazy you can maybe I do? If you do, you would not forget, I don't know she was down there. Was you down there? You would definitely not. I don't see did not come said this. Maybe maybe the premier at the premiership is definitely a million motor for a second. You didn't meter if you had a, you would be like. Oh you would tell me I'm it shows us the Jew easier.
Always so people. Let me apologise in a vision. Was she may say or do why she she's a correct she's, a character. You you would love area gives rise, love us see drives a school bus schoolboys. I thought it was a bunch of society the best interest it is. It is very interesting and she did she could shooting a relationship with him. Either did you know which he knows you use a bus driver so that, when I guess was in your blood is easy, like maybe it's your boots away? I know it's hard to understand that if our down there stand why we do a we do. Sometimes I can't imagine that driving a bus is in your blood, Maybe it's the travelling or are you it's always good. Do I mean maybe it's a way of having a relationship you didn't have with the power maybe in a sudden, marching in away in a subconscious where I can take that now. I can only java one street, only really job Wednesday. You can't do it. I never really wanted to drive. I do I'm grateful,
the mother maybe get a licence, because I didn't want you, I deserve I mean I'm gonna have to when I have a son. So now I have to drive him around here. He's twill seventh grade, I got an he has a little girlfriend, he'll kill me omission. So when you started singing like it was also in church in them when went you start opening your eyes were job was that you know it was that reality. the performing did not hit me until I think the house about the time. Almost one other items, I wait. What is this performing stuff? but then I just sing the south, because my grandmother was a single she's. Just teach me, you stay flat, but right in saying growth and this back soul to walk into a world of entertainment, unlike what was the worries, was their first journey. The day of me wonder Khrushchev. What is that our? I was wondering seven cats
on a Disney, wonder crews. How would we, then? I was the t you too when I was on the ship, so that wasn't the first Jonah the farce out. Ok, let me take you back. Ok, I ok in high school. I used to think for everything and that's one s eyes again, like gigs like musicals in high school and gang in and out get banned. Gazer like like a well, I think, was like lots clumsy way. Anyway, we grew up together, and so he was determined for the world to him. He thinks about time. We got in high school. He was determined for the world to me think that we will go into all tat battalion shells and it was I guarantee that I will win. We will collect everybody's money like you could get in Santa shells were like a thousand dollars or two thousand that's a lot of money to show you knew you had the gift and Walter nor yet the gps and you could not get out, and that was our hustle as a key and I will win like it was unanimous, like all the shells to the point when I went to college anyhow,
I once again you King College and, I believe in Leipzig University, but this another story and they had a tallish you're. All that was a second college you into yes, because I was a home body, a mama's baby Oh my god. I saw the freshman year. You just can't get depressed, given me anxiety, just thinking about it, because I am a guy, I was away go away and look. I won't go away, my cousins and we might, when ACCA see when I got in a car and led me on a car us waiting. I know me, I wasn't serious and lasting one semester had lost my voice for the climate of the air. They can even speak Langston University research in opal, homer and was to draw I have come here. It was to drive, and so now it is they keep you modifiers around. Here I couldn't even speak and, as I ok, nothing can risk. My voice side came back to Chicago whence a Chemical college one party took as is so, it's such anxiety. You just want to be there. So your throat, you know what you up. Probably right did you know you just calm down you just
like you didn't want to admit it, so you got sick, it was so dramatic. Every time. think of Alsace, why they gonna miss car. What are not more you'll leave it and they had drove me there in the first someone's a visit there. I flew. Oh, I can go away and, drove me to school mama. My brother and my sister what will they do that have I felt like it when I e that feeling of of homesickness is horrible because you you just feel like? Can you don't like you not able to take care of yourself away? Somehow, like you don't feel comfortable yet that they're, just not in the next room available too far away I just remember my: why would they do this to me? It wasn't until of whom let things started to happen for me right. So ten days we came about, but you when you so after you went back to kings, come when I once again college, which was literally right down the street from my house like
co walk. It was literally my ozone seventy Veal killings on sixteen. I think. Ok, I was not going far and what were you study allows regular job. Cassio amuse is always about music, but my first we could school is out took music, my teacher was roof is e heel. I miss him dearly and you are you gonna musical, as they make other students get up and sank, and I get? sing, happy birthday, national anthem, animals, silent night you're, so you got up and saying here and there when I got up to say by the time I was there adhesives, highwaymen Toto and he can one of his friends here, which was named E Faye she's, a Hughes bra like dearest. I even I can't think of a last name, but those who know that wrote window her and she he had heard air rooms. I Unita. Come you this this girl saying and he had our coming in and sang and there she was born what they start again me outside additions. Things like
ok. We want to send you to the euro and I was nineteen at the time and I In addition, it Maria linkage sire theatre- that was my first real in Chicago Fashion, was up here, Lincolnshire, which is like forty five. Such as that of Chicago and I went in, and I sang enables like. Ok, you got, the job What job was I didn't know? The same thing happened: would Disney Walter one it here. he found the audition in a newspaper Disney four days. He always was Disney's looking for fingers here anymore, The reason why I agree to do because it was two days at the my birthday. I had a new dress and I had no wait aware now, like fine I'll, do it so I go to the audition in Chicago, not even know what I'm really auditioning for new and saying, I think are saying like I will always of your son by wooden Houston and it was like MA am you hire, ok enables I do you like to Shabazz, I love to travel and is then that they were going to send me to Japan,
I want to die here. Thankfully and I was just yes, yes and didn't know what I was agreed to look and that's when I ended up on the Beazley Wonder cruise ship at thank God, poor, Canaveral Florida and that's when everything started happen what awaits or how long you both I did a six month. Contract on a boat for six month. Yes, six months here and and and I was ip, they hit Muse and Hercules the music. When you good on boats, I think, Albert asked me what I do not know, but I can't I get sick. Like you, I mean I'm paranoid I'll be out way out on the ocean. No unloved you'd him ass. It was in the bow like under the captain. Really aware you wear. That was your room here I was main Cassa got to have my own cabin. My uncle had the sheer cabin and it was a great great exe. Are you considered an employee of the boat? Did you guys have to learn how to the US
where drills. Oh, my God, which is a nightmare cause. I cannot swim and has to be a deputy leader year and NATO does we had a whit drill if you did not pass the witch or you can get on the ship? What you can't win now I thought: well drilled emit? There was one sprinklers with water. I like what some speakers the mouth of the fire? No, that's not what happened they put us on this. I really high dot and and we were in castaway key and we had the job into the war in Iraq is shocking. Iota is such that stocks are we swim? Did you live everybody? I was the last one to jump, and then we had the flip. The life raft open and I was but I use it as my as Us- it Jennifer, if you can get through this than your cut out, to go addition for something like a man. Can I do, but if you can't go go home, is it out was all I had to do it? Luckily, they treat me like the victim right.
because I was that we don't care. If you can dance, we don't give you case. We have long should get up there thing like that. You got the job, so you so, if you hadn't gotten their boat over no America, that was my test. I like that. You know Yosemite, so not sure I would have had to go home lights and become so What was it? But what was at theatre did, though, before we move on Big River Oak. I was out of his daughter now saying this on how bless we look, and that was my first professional job, and I thought I was really don't think, as I was nineteen again like four hundred twenty five dollars a week. I got it was the life, so after Disney American Idol, it's a weird cut out many people just assume back at their head that you want American, no seven play, I mean to be really didn't, went some place season three and I was a wild card pick. They had sent me home before that, but Randy Jackson pick me. They had a while card thing too. you could put bring somebody back after all, that were eliminated, and luckily I was his while car pick and from there
I place seven place was eliminated again. Its wild it's so now that I imagine that not unlike the dish the audition or any audition that you did before you were known, like you'd get in the room, and people like what the fuck is happening. Right What I was at audition. Well, better mutual. I visited the same reaction but ass. It went on to undo zone and I mean I don't care who you are. How good you are. You know, there's always somebody else. That's great so, and I will tell myself with Jennifer you and top twelve and thirty of a whole bunch a number one enemy and at that help put it into perspective yeah. But I thought I dunno I feel as though nothing is does, and it was a good teacher in lesson and amusement, toyed sue. You know in the tv talent shells because as a tv show first I guess they also like that must have been a pretty quick education. In I mean it it's very weird and I always notice it when I work. You know that when you're backstage- that's that's
really the life. We were yes, that you know you just sitting there. There's people sitting around there's some food there's a guy holding a rope, that's right, that's our job and we go out there and do the thing, but that you getting to know like being part of that show. Must he gave you a very crash core. Yes, in the pace and nature of that type of showbiz, it was a great teacher ride like a good book camp Vienna. So so many people starting out in initial audition and not being able to follow through because they didn't understand freaked out what it was, what it in hail, what all you had to do, what it does, what it was that in your armada, like we never got to sleep, you know we're. Ok, we will have to do whatever the day. It was the ads Henry whatever they had us to do. After that, you would think it will, it's time to go to bed. Now you need to work on your sound for tomorrow. You need to write a song you need to have choreography. I too am people I was
because I don't want to see the the it was person holding the rope behind the age. They just want to see the lights and examined by the throat and a lot of people have their mindset, but guess what Tommy to tyranny, usernames and so to see those that didn't have that worth ethnic or that mindsets and no like an ok. What we need to do, we are, you know, is solve those who were willing workforce verses, those who just wanted to stem the light. Then I think that's why I mean you know even the lifeboat thing that end even like LISA, tells a story about how you know the repetition of doing the work, the emotional work and singing on respect, in that she had thought that young you you'd know you were dead, but she knew one more take and you're just see just did it you can just kind of lock in and do the work that I think your work ethic and being able to continue giving is something that's your carried you through. stays with high ranking indefinitely, but does it do you find that? Because I you know, I think
when people think about american idol- and I don't watch it, but people will think about it- had nothing together very moving begging that there's a lot of one trick ponies out there there's a lot of people that got a trick and they do the trick night, but that's all that they got back. and I think that there is an assumption around people who make it and talent shows it? That's a lot of that's most of it and then every once in a while. This amazing talent comes through, but it's seems to me that you don't ever really fake it and it doesn't seem like your capable of doing that. So how do you- yeah? Do you ever get totally exhausted? I mean like when you were doing respect where their ties were you like. I, because I remember we were shooting the stuff in the church. You needed a man, so you gotta yummy, do feel it. Oh, I got no choice. Philip a dialogue is that's what I mean that's what my job is to fill it in that way, but it's also, I guess you must get. It must be natural to you, because in a sense how like it
You come out of winning seven thousand american idol and how does it? How does a dream grossing happy? You know that that will happen two years after idle. So what were you doing in the interim eyeing courting? Yes, I was I move back to Florida with my Disney. director who became a manager with the Florida you're living in Florida myself, I applaud, is a huge part of my life. Actually, yes, because that's why we where are the boat was that's where the ship is? That is where daisy traditions is we trained in Toronto, candidate Disney tradition. That's like the at this. That's the any grounds to teach it. A stately etiquette see prospects Scientology, I'm civility that they know how to most. People are not unless you're on the television like that, these these out on a day of resource, but these needs give me must start its interest so yeah. I was on an ad because, literally literally, first of all, imagine crying been ownership for six months, like Ms Home
and then the day I finally got off the ship. The next day I flew to Atlanta Georgia, in addition for american Idol, so your dog What does need there? There was party you that must have. You did you think like this is the life This is now is not now, now you are, you are you. things for the experience and even down to idolize, I'm gonna do it for the experience and others is anything that's where he met the guy, the Father, your kid. No no oh god, no Amazon wasn't born. I thought why my ask us what I was about marketing years later, so when who bit so the manager? Yes them, my black Disney director became a manage because he was just such advocate. For my talent, you helped me, as I like this- is a rare talent, even come to the ships. You know that The action of the people would come. I every now and again guy he's a great guy sturdier low at will, Oh, he was my manager for a while in him, and his friend gave me production do poker and
I started recording and forward in Florida after you got down with that Brad I was often idle. Everybody was, I will mention four Hudson go, you know, that's when they were right, larder. Actually, Orlando Florida, exec everybody was writing articles. I worked wisdom for Hudson. They were sanction for Hudson for Effie White and who is, if you like now knew the music from drawing girls by didn't know the story of the care to name saw MIKE. What does everybody talks about it, but no one could find me, but I'm a guy long as I'm done what I love you re manager wasn't good at that point because it came from a whole another world enemy. So golly my cousin Merida Hudson, whose a plebiscite is that our work with the vanishing quite known they were able to track me down to her she's a word when I contacted because our name is Merida huts. Adam Jennifer has she was thy us, my cousin, and that's how the whole during girls thing came about. She,
the recent bring that up is a you know for you to figure out. You know how to infuse the music and aunts and an establishment musical with these, emotions enacting jobs due to a kind of like, without seemingly without a lot of training, you you just you naturally have to show up for everything. You know that, sabre no I've never has singing lessons or acting for you because you just are you know, you're your hearty out front. You know unit you, because you can't you I think the point I was trying to make as you you don't know how to fake it really so be it always. Anna Acta REACT act at odd, be honeys, but I was No one can tell you how you fill in the situation in those like ok. Well, yes, it may be here in someone else's path as me, whose experience in right here I like to try to live in that moment, and
No that's react and that's acting. I think that's the nature of it. ok but see the thing for me. I grew up as a music video saw. How is to be an m at the greens. in performing in places like that, so when the Asker their holdings came up for during girls, it was Jamie Fox. Actually he was the one on say he's I see, he's a single one and ask if this enemies I put the craziest thing, is she has no clue what's goin on and I didn't I had no idea so once I got to the US girls here. I will I at those The watching enables my person, like the majority of our somewhat and ask your. They are in your nominated, that's great As for me like how was this patchwork thus far the best way for it to happen? because then at least you're, not you dont get cynical, you don't get I'll jaded, you don't get trained to do a thing. May you know like you, don't like you certainly worth doing what you doing now,
for this movie, you you're just like why? Why? But that's that's was called out this time around is because I it now have a sense of like what breathing means and what it is in all that, because back then I have a go? All I want to do is give airlines right in and make bill condom proud, because he gave me this opportunity enemy. So as like. Ok, sorry, I want to make you proud, because you you you gave me this up- sanity and now wait when you look at your career in terms of like after that, after the acting in near you know the the stir in american Idol and then sort of moving on to other movies and tv projects in staff. Did you feel that your music was out front as much as you wanted it to be like where you concerned the June. Did you feel like? I need a record your weight. You know why I still need a hit. I have. I have I have an until you what is
a fees in here. You know me, although I am grateful for a year and a half spotlight, but the thing is when you win an Oscar, and especially with the start that I had. Ah, you catapulted so home, the space and is like you may not be there experience and ready for accommodating like you, I will realigning a tour. And I said I had a nineteen dollar might stand Emma. So you know me, like I didn't, have the catalogues reported, but everybody was there to see me and Ok, I'll live this again because now have more of a since, and I obviously far more experience sure to draw from. Might I don't even know what this is like TAT, tat yeah so it's weird when you, when there's a lot of momentum, Andy the spotlight and there's people arrive measuring some money. So exactly then you're like ok, I want to make the money and then you realize, like the boy I mean, but
just natural, and it doesn't seem like it seems like be. Everyone still loves you like if you are going to go out and do a whole new set right. You know where the few great unwise he'll get to do there. Oh yeah yeah and waking, and you too, are you run around in the voice for a while. That is a voice you assemble. She came back and forth on my guy all right leg, but I fear and the weight archers, nay, watches you, and I was a long time we did that will, as I started a week, I must answer that was twelve easier and I was preparing for the film Winnie that idea right and heads that needed to lose weight for their character and as we might as well make money doing it, and then I saw the weight loss campaigns level Roger. I love it. I liked it back in the day. There are two points. I don't know what the fuck it is now I'll figure it out you funny but to play if we say what you say. It then of alleged Souffle man good their guide,
so I guess I'm just a little nuts with way, unlike in I got about twenty over fifteen over an hour until I was right to how is the asshole at that meeting the skinny guy disunity, I'm like yeah. I was to this. We can just like you know sad mad. obesity. What what do you get out of it, but it was working for me and I, like the control, will like counting the points I figure now, how many zero point foods can I e today? If I'm, if I can find fifty one point food you know like I did I loved it. I am a comic. I don't have time. During the day you just chart out my food, you gonna reinstated. I still have the old books with of the underworld what he called to figure out the fibre versus the. The little slide rule in this that we were all I mean when I was always wants, as I would have liked way. Watches people just happened. No only watch here. We have another, Ok, we everybody, but I
I love the experience and ended up being bigger film. That really which were never, I play Winnie Mandela, etc. In South Africa, yeah watchers was bigger. Their way, wives is hiding, came over into orbit at over it. Will you do to our movies? Like you, you know I had on the work. He did talk about cats on and I feel that cats. You know what I'm part of everything I do know is that I thought it was kind of somebody wash your movie preserve their it's. You there are bits and pieces that were ridiculous and it seems like in my mind who were conceived of it. It was it's me conception, but it made it must have made sense. Why? Wouldn't it you know, but, but I d yes, it was just the thing it's like make. Maybe when there's just costumes, you know people sort of like no what's going on, but when you make humans look, I grow cats too. Weird E. I think he was sick of CAT
yeah. I still try to read my brain around it and there is too much for Airbus. You taking all at once at the special effects thing you say whom the cat then the saturate it was the art square like ever is alive because even for us, as active Sousa openly with your money, It's how you doin you, and there was no way you could know. It's almost like in the same way that you talking about recording early on, were you just in by yourself and then it goes away and then it become for this you'd. Think I imagine that a lot of cats you, like you, have no idea how that's gonna look at all the same. We didn't you dancing around with a tail when you will actually did a habitat. Will we also remember you know also able to like a lot of it was imagines having using imagination, but that is where my cats came from and the best give a half hour Mc Cavity, anger Isabella, because I was area and my cabin was the villain, so I have a Spinks cat from a cavity, an a tabby cat for Grizabella. That's what I get up the Orange tabby
even though memory, but yes, no that's what my kids Hank yeah, but I was I believe I was like away. I get to be reliable and sing memory. It was a inches. experience and others love doing things for the Spirits in those tears were real terrorist so am I do you know the emotion that when and then what I my heart goes out to is the dances they put in so much work. They really truly data is like I just wish they could adapt more grave, wiping her. I think I guess it's weird Ike with tee. Talk and everything I think dancers are having their time. You right I've never seen merely as a guy like that were given. I turn on my phone like Is everyone dancing did ok, you know they feel like it
all these people want to be debts. I always thought like how many jobs are therefore dancers. Hey we're gonna go to Vegas, you gonna go. What are you gonna? Be Iraq cat how many dancer jobs are there, but now it tik Tok it's like everyone's dance, and I guess he made a lot of money, but I mean there's a theirs. I definitely follow couple dance. SK. I think when things are terrible, like back in the day, like you, depression. Is that musicals were very popular, that there's something watching people dance like that that that, with the Spirit, the interesting well yes Oh, we now would you wanna Grammy for the color purple. Soundtrack went from my first aben right and color Purple Sancho also have an honorary Grammy ass. Well, so, does that mean I have three or to know? What's an honor? one has won a invite you and they say you. We want to honour you and give you as Remy, so I felt like thus justice procedures, not sure quiet and more so, if AIDS, it's like yet for everything which is taking
get a kind of soda, so is like technically. I have three grew me. Yes, So a couple quest. Zat like because we are talking about a Rita. Now you you knew her comma chinese feller. Why? What we spend a lot of my allotted time, but I would see her on and off. It is somehow I guess with this woman, I don't know how many times in my career she would They say you want me to do it and lovely, I guess all, but at the summit in knowing me like I'm like she likes me arm and then also leads upset her last days like because we ve been in talks about me players and since I won t ask for drink girls that was Our first meeting was fifteen years in New York and the fact that a lot of talk about much when I was eliminated from America idle. She did a show, a mere Urville Indiana and she allowed. Meta open up for the issue and not
will you they says she will only have comedians area, but she said that I could open up for her. So that was the first time I got to meet her back. That shows up. barely sort of like grounded ego till you know what I mean that economy to further. For somebody to have as a singer one. The great singers have great singer, because I got even that. Seen in the movie would dine Washington whereby right that that would be this to Asian, but she was gracious enough surveillance and was so then I gotta go. to meet her that day, then I guess watch it before, and I got to open up for her. So those are first meeting and then it is its It's a huge salesmen. So every time I talk about is ok, widower start then, after that about one the asker for during girl, we met in New York. I've just was in Detroit recently in her people, where they are now her childhood church in her securing. I was like was there when you met her at the roots Carta Hotel, like you were there are things like that seem like was dreaming grew, so he verify
We were then that's when we had our first meeting about playing her arm and then so. We will keep in touch with near then to my career- oh my god, it's so many performances of me pay tribute to her. On the back of my mind, I was always thinking about it as my addition and she Chicken guess, she would check in so then it wasn't until like eight use out that when I was on Broadway, where she called me, I was off the Danes she's like if I may my decision and it is you who I want to play me and I will say yes mamma. She said, don't tell us all. I said no mammal say a thing and then the next day she went and suited to the press herself, but she does. She added the young lady knows who she is, but our I'm not gonna, give you her name at this time and then, eight years later, here we are with the oil side the talk to her. We will speak weekly
we hear from sometimes she would call. Sometimes she would give me and Walter mixed up in meeting the him instead of me and or some longer she will be there and is always so present. I she knew everything I was gonna, what my son, unlike you, know there she would say: lot of things that I didn't realize she was speaking from her life experiences until we filming and unlike no, she was really speaking from her own. Sperience Zena sure in the midst of as preparing get together to teach me about her supply, her even Amelia, Lastly, spoke to her literally. I feel like I was when the last we put a stop to her before she pass all she called me argues. Eighth, I want to say, and that call I didn't realize is, alas, call em right after that, because we re conversation now send her pictures of Muslim and never her back. And the next day they like she's, a hospice in along, comes as I had just talks are, like literally, she sang on their call. Really
but she said she sank eyes about this. I can remember the name of it and she's I mention for this as it goes. I say yes, Mamma obviously tell me what she had eaten, which is as if she could tasted Erika cell bows the last summer. Gatling do were looking back on the process of making the movie and then also your relationship with her. Now, when you working with that when you got it tap into this, and you know the whole story her and you ve got your own tragedy and trauma, a terrible I mean, can you imagine how you you move through life carrying that with your you with your mom and your brother and your nephew in law, are you able in any way to to process that in approaching a wreath of trauma, in a conscious way or not? It is this. There is just there. Is there no need to get in and for me that is the thing other reason of why she said Jimfred play
be it wasn't until the same when a rhythm mother comes to her an ominous senior and hit me in the moment as it she said, so much more in me that I guess we related in there I didn't realize. Was there you think after the tragedy that she connected deeper, maybe because we did have a conversation long before the tragedy, but don't think I would have been able or ready to be able to tell her story, and so so unexplainable way, with as much step that my own life experiences in it does everything in enemy like head, if in the movie, when we parts had the conversation Adam That would have been ready, you know, but having life happen. I've experiences have been, I have to say, I could relate to her keep asking like ok,
how did to channel the charm of so much in his like. We all have trauma no matter is the same trauma or not I mean so is like This is so, at least for me. It still needs to come from replacing everything I do is from the heart, and this is why I keep telling it right it's from the heart, and I don't think it would be fair to her to tell her tragedy. or her triumphs of her story especially being so attached to her. If I didn't come from the same place, sure and then how what was your process of of processing? All that grief in horror I mean, did you just do was a church? Did you talk to people? How did you or faith, and that's another way where we parallel is her faith. They got hurt, though ended. smile. It gets me through Ethel, always say the greatest gift. My mother, my grandmother gave us was given us a surprise. You know so it it prepares. You the way and my mother used to say, God never allows anything new sneak up on his children.
Oh I'm so having those teachings and there foundation. I think that's what carry her, though, This would cares, meet the one s. Another thing that I feel she saw: but I didn't necessarily think about you have time to think about it in relation to her until you know and those men were you never had a crisis of faith like she did right now not been there s? A You're thing about that movie. Is you know when you come up like she did, and the complicated relationship with her father in you know when you feel, like your faith, is left like that's a very specific thing that I dont think everybody can relate to, but when you have it and its challenged like he had even go on living in a way right. Why are we so you have no choice but to go on and well being person was suffered tragedy here ages shows like people can't relate until it is you and I'm hitherto to anybody,
at any given time and is, is like one minute one minute I was a child with a mother and then governor and apples are an blink of an eye. I was a mother with a child without among even though my science is teaching sometimes as a whole, because in a splash officer again. One moment I was I was easy the next second, our mother- and it is like What a mania I know that we have no choice but to go the me thus the power in this fight. The story is because too often we think things don't happen to people like that you're. So when it has an you see them still prevail is its. testimony and a test.
Meant to say: will you can still make it too? Will? Thank you that I mean how could I lost someone, I loved it over the pandemic, and you know it is it does thing to the way you see life. Now, yes, you know it. It definitely grounds you in something where you realize I This can happen and it does every day to How many pay? Really there is, whether its tragedy or not, and we live in a culture that really processes, YO death or tragedy everyone. He just wants to keep moving all you have to, but you also have to be like ok right, you have to. going away- I guess your large straight to deal with no right or wrong way. No course you know, and it is a process that doesn't Please go away or I am you know it. Never. Does you eddie you, but you know you can't like the Jews with which I am one of say. You know what I mean. May their memory be a blessing nuts? That's nice talking to you too
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Transcript generated on 2021-12-06.