Most people who know David Manheim don’t know him as David Manheim. To fans of the Dopey podcast, he’s just Dave (no last name given), a recovering drug addict who built a tight-knit digital community around addiction, recovery and being human. David talks with Marc about how his career in show business fizzled out as addiction took hold of his life and how starting a podcast with a friend he met in recovery was his salvation. They also talk about Dave’s other life at Katz’s Deli and they get into the important hierarchy of deli meats.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey folks. It's me mark. I thought I'd give a quick run down of the tour dates I have starting at the end of this month. I've heard nothing too,
who imply or to tell me that any of them have been cancelled, I'll, be in Santa Barbara California, at the low barrow on January, twenty seventh I'll be insane Louie Abyss spoke out of forty eight. The Fremont on January,
twenty eightth I'll be at the palace, a fine arts on gender,
Only twenty, ninth in San Francisco and extra show has been added there I'll be at the
uptown January thirtieth in Knapsack,
our Fournier I'll, be at the Observatory North Park in San Diego on February, eleventh ashore.
It has been added there as well I'll, be the Vogue Theatre in Vancouver BC on February twenty six, they might add another show their on March, Ninth College Street New Haven, Connecticut on March Tenth Muse,
the call in Troy New York,
ouch, Eleventh Colonial Theatre in the colony and New Hampshire. On March, twelve foot
the centre in Burlington Vermont Man and I can be snowed in her white April First Atlanta, Georgia, at bulkhead, Tarrytown Music Hall on April fourteenth. That's it
every town, New York, the Columbus Theatre, improvidence, Rhode Island April, fifteen, the Wilbur in Boston April, sixteenth, the state
in Portland main April, seven
the Barrymore Theatre in Madison, Wisconsin April, twenty seventh turn
her whole ballroom April. Twenty
eight, the Milwaukee VIC Theatre,
in Chicago April, twenty ninth upon cages in many
apple S on April thirtieth and
be doing the Netflix Comedy Festival, may second, third and fourth at dynasty, typewriter, hearing loss annual
a bit. The Carnegie Music Hall may twelfth in Pittsburgh, albeit Mimi, Ohio Theatre in Cleveland on May Thirteenth, the music Theatre in Royal Oak Michigan on May Fourteenth Kennedy Centre may twentieth wash
in DC, count basis centre, may talk
me first Read: Bank New Jersey, the Keswick in Philly may twenty second go to deputy,
pod dotcom, Swash tour. If any of this interests you
or triggered you to buy a ticket
to see me me
our comparing. Let's do this
all right. Let's do this! How are you what the fuckers, what report bodies, what the FUCK mix what's happening
what's happening in the world today, but we know what happened in the world today
a year ago, I imagine there is
I got on Fox tonight, I'll be fascism on ice
Why why people
or better. That's a Tucker Karlsson Special,
I'm sure there's a lot of that going on the country- and I just wanted to say
In light of that it uses in a political show,.
But we are better off in a very big way. Now Trump is not president,
We don't have to react to his. In fact, sanity every God
an hour of every goddamn day, that guy kick the doors and
the people's brains right Annie.
after all around had a different effect on each some people,
who never knew what the president did and still don't or donors ever firmer
you're standing of how government even works just,
but that guy into their brain fucking, kick it around, get him
excited what Trump did
whether you president, again or not whether he lives or dies whatever the fuck. It is what he did through,
aggravated, will and full on
Arthur Cystic intent was destroy people's?
of the necessity of tolerance democracy.
can't work without tolerance, civic duty, civic responsibility
the civic structure. If this is supposed to
It should work for everybody. Now it's a fractured fucking mess because
No one feels like they have to tolerate anything. Any more
they ve had enough.
Their righteous their victims,
and everyone's on edge with me. I am on edge. You just feel at every body is freaked out. Whether look I personally am I'm fine
with the president. I like not knowing what the press
and is doing every five fucking minutes, but
this fuckin monster we had for four years was showing
entertaining to so many fucking craven idiots,
they just got excited. They felt parliament like hey. What's this would be part of the big fuck you, and now it's been
part of the big lie: hey man.
We're on board for the big fuck you, let's get on board for this bullshit king gripped and is shit show
Anyway, listen David Mannheim is on the show today hours at the. I believe it was
I say that what were the Bowery in New York- and it was exactly the the ludlows right across the street from catches, which is worries worked all his wife, the jelly
and he saw me he ran up to be like I do the podcast at work. A cat is a guy. This thing I do this, this dopey podcast
called dopey and has become a place for people to a basically
we are tell their stories about addiction and recovery they used to.
Hosted with his friend Chris, and now he
Two story that you're here in a minute by you just kept coming out me. Give me free meat. Have me ended catches, give you
you're, talking Delhi and eventually, as our guy. You know I'll. Do the pike ass. What to do, and I did his back ass dopey and now
kept Zena. Give here in front a moment. Have given me free meat, I guess
after a certain point. You give me enough free me.
I have on the show.
But now he's had a life. His show was featured on an episode of this american life.
and oddly this is actually the
he's using his last name. True true that in that wild, so I guess it
sort of like coming out no way he's coming out.
His full name, big, show folks
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e commerce, shipping for less worked out. Man worked up. I'm trying to deal
You know I got my cat sick.
I told you the other day and justice destabilize my entire life,
get into a pattern with these things. There is so much in love going on between, but
stir in Sammy, like Ex Ante. I too
Thus the vat and in Sammy doesn't know who the fuck buster is for, like a fuckin. Three four days does the smell. It was sad
us there's, not a hundred percent had enough he's ever going to be a hundred percent. I don't really know what's wrong with a mother than pancreas Titus. I've been give
fluid strained given to eat. I had my appetite stimulants. Just you,
it's just sad man and jump, and families like just wants to hang out.
with his body, but
still doesn't feel well been doing the forward
I don't know, I really can't
I can handle it that well
interesting because I have that
that is to work with over gateway, Doktor Modesto, Mclean,
and I was great guy and he sorting not not doing- is much anymore. He put down both in my cats with me Monkey and Fonda, honest guy. He told me that
yeah if he wasn't available anymore, that can email and I emailed them and he's been yo. Texting with me
helping me through this trying to treat this cat and hear what it
it's just itches great. When you meet people that yeah,
love their job know how to do their job are willing to help
just out of the goodness of the guys heart you known, as you know,
swimming now. Man he's been helped me with governments and medicine,
and then his other weird thing happened, because when I took the cat buster
the gateway here in LOS Angeles, which is I've been going. Therefore, like twenty year,
and then I had to go back and this woman was error. This doctor organ and it turns out
like I was talking to Modesto about organ em like where does she work now and he's like? I don't know, but her husband Roy,
it's on show. You know that
the United States of our whatever it is
yeah and he used to be in the army. They were both in the army of my car was cool and then just by
can do for him onward the comedy store last night in the dressing room. He said he's right on that John Mc June
He was in the army and his wife of that that Marian
in these. Like I know a guy and am I
Can you find out from M whether she still
seeing patient somewhere where the she's a
working somewhere as a veterinarian and turns out she runs around shopping.
yeah, does a sort of house called business and I'm fuckin I'm site.
Emailed herded its uncovered
met narrowly speaking, but that doesn't mean busters
I'm not sick,
I'll be gets better.
When you have cats any their life is disrupted, your wife is disrupted and it's very easy to see the whole world through that disruption and loose.
open everything which I'm battle with any ways, but you just have to
I'm trying to compartmentalizing in I've. Had these cats you I just want to deal with a dying cat. Yet that's all.
You know you know, what's going to happen
they eat rather happen at the right time, not out of nowhere and for reasons unknown. But that's fine
can life? Isn't it happy new year that one?
meant to say today.
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book David Mannheim, that's his name,
from the dopey podcast. You can listen Adobe wherever you get your bike ass and you can
Oh do dopey podcast dot com for other
dopey nation, stuff, sure tat socks
who's. The guy makes everything the doping.
With the dopey brand, but look this guy.
you tried to make it go, show business God, oh God got off the track with the drugs with the opioids, with the dope stirrers
But always kept his job catches.
I'm Tellin you man,
quality meat you gimme
enough quality meat
maybe you get on the show, I'm kidding. You know the Jew thing to and the
the addiction to any ways this
talking to David men. What is and what the broken hampers out loud enough for a handsome score is our the broken hammer. What is a story
I don't remember anymore, where I found that it's been there.
you know that I've lived there's like a mythological story to how it broke. No, I found it like that,
and I can remember where it it turned up or why, like the
their stuff? Some of it has stories like these. These weird pieces of decayed boat engines ice are from quite
mushroom was made by fan, I've got the Missy drivers licences. I've got this
Vienna wizard cap. That was
something that I grew up with twenty original of have cup system. This is certainly a fan made this little
the fund is a fan made us, and this I got this at the
I could break pressing place at Sir, that's a record.
it hasn't been through the squish yet so called this. This
green thing. The green ashtray was actually given to me by on some birthday by a guy who I got sober with.
Vietnam that, and I have no idea what happened that guy and I cant remember the guy's name, which is sad, but in terms of sobriety,
like. I don't know you. How do I know you do know you now
I hear you know me as well as you know me. You're gonna, know me better after this conversation. Why am I listen to the will of the pod cast as much as I could wants? Is you can now make it back there
nothing it doesn't. That does not comment on you. I don't want any bikers
my friend, was saying you know, he's not gonna, listen to your bag cast out like now he's not
in my opinion on it, but my friend said:
you almost in anyone's podcast and I said, but I listened to his well. That's.
I guess you have to learn some where I had to learn somewhere. But I was on your podcast. You are incorrect,
Go on my part cares. I, though you ever lie there. It seems like there's better guys to tell the dark disgusting bottom.
feeding bottom hitting gangrenous fuck
criminal stories about TAT.
diction than me. So people know that you have pestered me for years now
I deem dowry who pestering me for a while-
time as well
yeah. I, like you guys, I like you and I always happy- were doing it and ends
over time. I said
or to realise well you're.
The obviously he's got a story. Sound sad towns, exciting sounds partially
a business ended in Delhi in Delhi oriented so eventually I come around to like it is,
gonna, be annoying to talk to him
yet you have given me a lot of special treatment with meat
not only NEO catches, meat and products.
And attire, but to dopey attire and it's like
total divided, join me everything
We think we make is gonna know, but but, unlike anything else, is that there are some days about another's how many people eat them.
One be funded given day that most people can eat the fuckin pastrami. No one can eat the briskly. Ducats is so tat. Her miss right where I am with me and real quick arms can be really quick.
Candy pastrami anymore. If the corn Beavis
perfectly. I think it's better than the Pastrana course and then perfect brisket at our horror, their level Carnegie used have a good brisket,
now I never ate at the corner, but like
Second Avenue Dolly, was a pastrami poised catches is pastrami place. Really I mean that's what the ghost
I'm from right. Well, that's!
we push on him and that's what everybody comes were, but the pastrami, as is legendary, but back in this advocates the everything's hand cut back in.
Seventy! The corn, beef was the thing and it changed and the aid
he's a place with garbage. While there are too many junkies
the dope. It was too that they didn't have stalls on the bathroom doors in catches in it up until like ninety three, I just remember what
I went there, I went there when I was a very little kid microwaves memory. Cats is driving it with my background for my priority that sort of Tom Story right in bail from bail,
like you never went away. I member going into that play smelling that place seeing and it was late at night and was like
was not crowded whose, like you,
like a dope run for tongue. Its
the thing about that like the old owner, would walk around the store and say: oh you come to get chief.
yeah really hurts like classic dough, primarily zest, arrogant. What's your history that place? How do you like why're, you part of the fabric there you, you ve, been working there since you were a kid who well. My history is that my father's
Second cousin bought the place in the eighties. A really
they they, his father in law, bought the place and I got cousin din in high school and I would like work there in the summers and like I lived in lorries side and I'd work there, so that was the first owner after the catches.
Basically, it was like the cats is in another family, India passed down and passed down and passed down, and then the current owners
grandfather bought in with my dad, my cousin, his father and
That's how I got into it then I like, went into show business and I became
horrible heroin attic and I fell out of cats as well.
We can go back so how'd you
which did you grow up orthodox now
grew up on the island where I grew up in Manhattan, a real. I grew up on twenty seven street knave Avenue, with your dad do he's teacher also.
Did you grew up working class? Were I work up and I grew at hat in bucolic middle class Jewishness and my dad was raised orthodox and he was like a town moody scholar as a kid, but then
As soon as you got into science, he was like, I don't believe in God. I don't believe in this way is away. How can you be like I, there,
a child prodigy Intel Mood, Excalibur ship or even as a kid when he was like his rabbis number. One got so easy Shiva kid now, just in the school in Queens, he went to this orthodox school in queens. It is. His rabbi was like you're, the guy and ass, soon ass. He heard our guy that's a lot of pressure and out best soon, as he started studying science, he was like a lady's Gore differences. Nine, his regular squashy, he won't of going to like Stiva say, had got out. He got out and now he calls.
Self and Orthodox atheist and the
we think he likes is the music and the food and the jokes sure he's out of everything else. They
but the music food and jokes, but that also community. He liked.
Being orthodoxy, immunity, but he sounds like a jeweled. You he's a Jew do, but we I was raised conservative.
to be bar mitzvah, even though there was no god I never really right over. I well I mean either. My my dad still to this day gives me shit that he rode out my half Torah and fanatics tellers day. I've been disappointing, or will you couldn't even sit down with the cantering were in the fuckin thing I could of but
a key role that he writes down and fanatics? You read, he were not well one.
Who can you never bothered to learn it for even the after the Red, the Hebrew I dont now I think I dont mind. Recollect
This is in line with your haft, or at least I could do the whole thing right now. So yeah sure what was it like that was real conservative did not make you do the whole thing I did. I did they tore abortion. I did it nice. I learned it like a song sure I don't like you re and I didn't read in here now and then they remember yours and then we d YE its is set up and down to the Times Melick banalities tie. I dont know I didn't. I didn't think I memorized mine guy. I learned it,
But then I did read it because I didn't. I know you're saying you reading it makes you a better drew them now. Dodo I just like I was: I was sort of able to do it.
I didn't know what it meant. It's interesting though I like, I don't know if I was able to do it or not. All that I know is. I dont think my dad had the patience to hear me trying to do now wearing, like our beg, Gemmill. I've learned, I learned it but in our view,
the school they were more interested in teaching us. How is rarely tanks could destroy syrian tanks and jordanian, but really how we learned about was like irrigation and tanks in Israel yeah.
That's where I come from a different like I don't have that right,
it taken over the Hebrews goes yet when I went because without it was just a black and white film
the bodies being Chauvelin the pits right for that.
the different and a little bit of a different glass,
I think I don't know like it was all about the land of milk and honey are engaged in this in that, and am I
I didn't want to have a bar. My mother said it's my party David, our having this. For me you just
The thing and you can keep them show way here. Are you of the generation that had themed marmots was? Did you ever theme?
I am of the generation, but thank God I didn't have a seat in everything now, but we had a really corny dj at the bar mitzvah called himself Captain bar mitzvah, we're Zack. I now probably at him on your show. How will your slack in these or find captain bar mitzvah, where every time I see a dj on long island? Unlike the cavern varlets it
and I we thought we had three other names, just a business card for Jews, my guy just I was so I'm begging you just go Danny on another biscuit business guard right for the Jews use captain murmured three, a song he did a horrible rap on Captain BAR mitzvah- was terrible, very embarrassing. It wasn't it mean your friends were embarrassed. Yet my friends were laughing at me and I was embarrassed. How do you forty seven? So
Were you call kid, then why we're your friends IKEA pop geyser? I went
What how out with one did I'd all happen it had ten years older than you, it happened might have been during your time. I went to the nursery school in the world. In my hand, the approaches and sisters Ivan older sister, how she don't she's good she's
did she turn our eyes. She turned out. Ok, she met
actually an orthodox church. Oh my god, how is she weren't awake now, she's, not not all from me, but she's doing good. I went to school at the at this very, very, very great public high school in elementary school that were connected him and hand. It was like the gifted
I think that what you call Hunter, we, I think I heard a lean Manuel Miranda where I write in these kinds of I think, like you know, I think I know any kids went there. What about your mom? My mom was a teacher too, but she died
she did. She died, I want to say twelve or thirteen years ago thorough.
how she die leukemia. Oh, my god, it's Hell win died acute my
my way leukemia, though the amended. No, she had it just like cancer.
during the week. That was that target.
Am I didn't get to tell you in person ass? I was not. That lies the last time
I saw you your talent before when you are like she likes to wear the catches. Hoodie announced like our way out of my deepest I love and condolence a terrible is. It is terrible that fuckin awful disease did your mom, like my guide, quick,
did it. Would she have a long time now she had a for like two years and she just drop that fuckin worst and my dad was just drop dead, no they're, no quickly. She went to the hospital, I am and I came home. I lived in LOS Angeles when she, when she got here- and I was a fuckin disaster in LOS Angeles when she got off. I was
method on. I was on heroin and it's like that thing like
I think we must have had a long time just enough, but
you your mom got diagnosed with its. If she knew she knew and she knew she was gonna go quickly and no one else thought she was gonna go quickly, two years quickly. Doubts
he quickly, as you didn't have it, you don't have it so bad and then all of a sudden, it all happened. No one's devastated by thoughts go will get back to like.
Way, but so you're gonna hunter you're gifted your creative guy. I got him when I was four years old like I took a test how these you to be. When you go for arts or that's nothing,
But my point is that my point is that the school it for me was from for seventeen, so I was pretty cool amongst the nerdy. Ok, what do you get it for you and for the full right you're in?
Ask me to leave a bunch of times too, but I like, I don't think I'm gonna leave. Why? Because I don't want to go to like a rough and tumble school and deal with it. I enjoyed being like cool it and the nurse school.
What is so? What you might ask you to leave because I was not keeping up with the nerves, bow
I probably had undiagnosed ADHD that's right except the problem, and hopefully we I wasn't a statement that ever every attic stories like United sink undiagnosed depression diagnosed ADHD, I might be attesting even I might be on the spectre. Absolutely
great junkie excuse. I did you think of the medicine, then
I wonder, though, like my mom would say to me when I was a kid, I think you should it would. Each de wasn't really talked about in that way. I was a kid just ass. It was, she think you have a learning disability which made me feel really bad. You know what I mean like I've got cause. I was also waxy, as the other one I didn't have dislikes. I wish I had Dyslexia. Do you think if they always dyslexic, the other ones are vague, very vague. The other ones here, like it's, my fault, that society is so at a cash right. I just got like he's on motivated. Well,
do you want everyone motivated? I honestly think you have.
Having done the show for a while that I probably
do have some adhd, like you know
get she had done back in, I guy la things go on all the time. I can't really folk
John anyone for
I do I hyper focus, but in general
things are happening. I get em all done, but that you know
in also just what I retain its more about retention,
and I know that I'm going out my brain with my phone and without busy I am and everything but like yesterday seems like a year ago, like I can't you, man
time anymore. Nine.
What you mean I feel like I do the same thing, but I do. I thought it was like part of my recovery should be as busy and scatters as I could possibly be. I don't have to deal with. I hope
I keep it altogether, but I don't like I don't compartmentalize. Well, that's the deal, everything sort it operates at the same frequency.
I think we were pretty similar here, ass, the area so
I see you're at Hunter here, for you doing it doing more than it has they're gone. She went, she went. She started in some private school and wound a bit like PS, one o four, but then she wound about Lagarde, other music art where she made
She was a singer still now David.
but for the orthodox it's over her,
Her singing career ended. I did Hunter, although,
it through and
and I was a really good kid. I wasn't particularly good in school. We interests you gonna, be like in show business.
I wanted to I act
they ve got into MTV. When I was in high school it there's no daily involved yet the
Ellie came in in between high school in colleges need somewhere to work, so I started working catches. Thou must
men exciting. It was awesome, it was ass, makes up for,
because you want to be an old jewish guy right. I didn't want to be an old jewish guy and, like I worked with all these spanish guys, there were a few. There were a few Jews laughed no. The Algiers daily men left a couple. I worked out.
Ghirardelli, I became a judgment.
I became an old jewish man in the last thirteen years. Bigtime like no like I was like built Fort, like in my turn, twenties like out before I gradually college. I worked
One of the last real jewish
alleys in Boston and they were like. There was Abe and Roberts.
Abe was shall shock from Korea. Robert was like a hundred a week. Just sit there on that. You know that not if not the them, not the hands. Why, sir?
but the one that just goes the
after the corn be terrifying
her fine machine, Robert, would just sit there eating pieces
cutting corn be right, and then there were sunny. Who is the cook who made the puddings and the bridge?
skits in everything in the kitchen and gay
Fuckin Mattel, Sheldon, but land land years. The ten years between us gives you this cast of characters still living nine years later there all dat lecture. You know there's a couple alive at cats is an eye when I
got there. I'm workin on the floor.
Working on the ground or means way like no bussing table yea like running around with a car, and then I worked on the back counter and I would cut meet with the slicer and I up flying my finger off and I got workers com for the summer and they paid me animals like the greatest sunflower, the there that were the drug started.
the drugs united around there. I was as play music than bans than you point. I play arms
I got a polar bear. Guitar that Jason,
that's a lobby? Anna ok banned there,
I played a sky and ragged ban harmonica here
good, we had a good little band. We area deal for you, yeah raggedy, Andy Aerial record. The idea come at high school. You didn't do that well, didn't focus! I wound
up on MTV. I went out.
like seventeen like doing
I was an internal. I wound up hosting some segments for MTV or in turning it MTV when you were seventeen. What's what era of MTV is this? Who is nine shopping? Cart? Load.
We would hang on Kurt Loaders offers and he'd smoke weed and listen to the higher they come soundtrack visit the coolest thing, our first season of the real world when we were there. It was like that era and me in my one of my very best friends, we're just gonna hanging out, and I was just like we gotta get on tv and we would just go from office to office office. Be, do you know Alex quality. He started, MTV unplugged he's a big music. You would love him, I don't I don't know, I pray do bad on. I don't know,
He did all they like Neil Young, umpire that, alongside the shaved and head,
The heavy metal guy Map Penfield,
you can feel they now give been on dopey twice the average.
I've seen him, I knew I knew that guided directed some of the important because he directed a show there,
I started on tv. Robert small did a couple of I don't know
which on plugs, but that was his claim. He was to fame used a director
and he worked with island cats, ok who
I was there when you were there yet are in Herzog yea. I knew her tat hurts. I actually said put me in a room and send me and my friend, where the future of MTV and six
months later was over and the next time I saw Doug Herzog. I was a waiter on the World Yacht like what happened.
so you there you're in turning and what happens? What's the big star turn were your hosting segments? Just like
They want to give us a chance, so they d you owe me and my best friend will have an iraqi he's.
Each arm or reside everyone's. A teacher, Devon, Woloda, middle class juice bought a middle class juice.
intellectual middle class. Jews who become teachers he's also a its noble. Is no boys good. It's an important profession of people like it so
What were the segments? We?
We went with the heavy metal ban slaughter to a record signing in New Jersey and their limits and you're, just like kids, interviewing the heavy metal kids outside beer and hang out with slaughter. Is this before I have you not a parking lot? Yeah? Ok,
was up on their song was up all night sleep all day and it was like we didn't like the kind of music we are just like. What are we doing here at so nauseous in their lemme? When I got out, I just peut all over the place. Great. Did you get that on camera now and I and we did and other sagging at a real thing.
We had another segment where we went to this bullshit toy show at the Javert Centre and then the show got cancelled.
like a high school magazine show the show
cancelled and I was
and when I was talent and an Inter Alia,
it was for high school credit in my high school and hunter right. You're senior year your entire college year, you do an internship, any accredit, you get credit, but we never got the producer to sign the form. So I forged the signature, the
found out? Who did the score empty? Read both the school ass stamped, the guy and he's like? No, he forged the signature and I love
US credit for the internship, and that was the emerald being fraud yeah basically, but at me, but you did the work, but they were gonna be punished. Anyways, yes, and I
And I was punished, and I ask you a lesson. I guess there's a lotta lessons you'd what they did. I actually directed a play, my high school, and they said your punishment- is we're not gonna. Give you credit for directing the play. Why cause there
next, the principal doktor, misery and dino if he's alive, but this was relative to the the fraudulent signature yeah they do.
I did because I forge the signature that this I was gonna, be punished and
that's how they punish me. I didn't expect to be talking about the stop by the very interesting, though, because that that's the beginning of,
You have knowing that your kind of a scumbag yeah
wherever tough way to put it there.
Like we didn't show up. They get the signature
and devils like. I can do it and I was like do it and definition can draw. The solution could have been linked with just go back and get the signal. I know my whole life could have gone differently, but would I be here now by the coadjutor for that year like which is? Let's do it?
yeah now, but I wasn't really a scumbag, not re scumbag weight that there was.
You could work, I have on the region
Well, that's very. I was suspended from school fur
copying some guys paper,
and afterwards urges.
I did a bad job of it. It was
I guess it was like a approach thing it was like
could you you know his words to well or something, and it was like it wasn't that my nature wasn't. I could have done it, but this is my promise. I just never did shit like that.
They too long in a panic. I
the guy that, after an entire year of a
asked where we're supposed to read the chronicles and Armenia. I had ridden none, and I was
the day before the week and before I was trying to read all of them, so I didn't cheap because, like
we know what to do. I just
waited too long. I panicked, and I both
Some kinda you have given me
we both got suspended than our members name, I'm sorry, Brian Bond, I wonder,
O Brien bond is raising nice. He was a nice guy now just sort of worm in him, but I bet, but look. We both have that that that
bad moral valve? Does that leads to a drug addiction? Or
might be just a component of it
I b I mean like I, I was just like a scrub
You know in high school I didnt pay attention. I do care, while I wanted to do is have a good time, how many these segments EU firm TV three and they all got on here.
You could have been going. I could have been gone, I mean when I say they said I was the future of MTV dog hers
actually said to me: you're the future of empty of it, and then you, you signed his name somewhere now essential that guy's name that we signed with Charlie singer. He was this produce area and he had had I'll just
don't you make comments? I don't
what kind of fucking recovery he had an office and his office was covered with yes, posters from the band he asked. I just can never go back
You never go back to see that fucking shit, the programme stuff here I can't go back rather get his ignorance or I almost pictures are Rick Wake, Minister. How everywhere can exactly there's not there? Maybe I can make an a man, but I mean I, I paid the price for it:
and am I could have done so
with that in mind, it didn't happen, and then this garbage,
yeah, I mean we got sign, we put out a record of schools in the first band was called the perpetrators, but the record that got sign was the insteps and we made a record acrid wasn't good
and out, and what what record company a deal with another planet so,
like. You can get on anti because you, the fraud guy you're the fucking. Now I was I you know I didn't even get on record only play harp on one track. On the record. I was in college and I never went back and I just played in bans in college I put in a soul ban. I played a weird funky high up and say I play
Monica in La Soul ban it was like a twelve or how many songs I mean. I was starting to doubt the bit the story, so you do one song on a record for the band dwelling on other tractor and I did wrong one track on that. Yeah I've laid in advance, but then, like I kind of diverted,
I guess, there's a north telling this don't know it's a good story. The outrageous I'd like the embellishment by you to wait in these to ban. I was in the band and then, by the time the record came out. I only got one track and the worst thing is this. Is this? Is the guy that forges a signature? I take a trip into the city. I know a guy says used on a record in its like putting our mark on one track. Dude. The fucked up thing is that the track that I was on was a hidden track
dragged on as it is at the end of the last track on the record, their three. They really have. Not the monies agree are now. I don't know why I'm here I got an atom music runaway here either I mean like highly burial here in order to think about this. Well, corned beef as an end in international authority and Herald the area who gave you get to that but
so you're in college. Did you finish that idea
Ed. I got kicked out of my school, which couch I went to Ithaca College and I
It's cool now was a private school Ithaca Ray. I applied to go to a state school which was Sunni purchase and I got busted
at the end of my second year and ethical college with an ounce of weed and they suspended me
but I had gotten accepted into purchase, so I transfers digital with someone else's. We first knows in my pocket alpha bad,
that and I wound up transferring to purchase and I did really well purchase, but that's where I did heroin for the first time, but the weed
so weird. Now I got one even fuckin matter now: there's showing got on housed industry right now and a little fuckin coffee cart. You got it
that's it, there's a bud. Coffee, cart! Really
Yeah, you don't even need a card there. Nothing is just totally.
you got totally rejects you like. I can't think about that shit.
Georgia. Just like weird coffee cards, trucks, fuckin dude, I'm just a fact that
You know I can go down the street and like as like I mean
it's like you, you can say when you
Recovery like now wasn't my thing. This was a heroines meeting it wasn't. A weed was just like fuckin breakfast who gives a fuck
I always had we'd army. Did you like with yeah, I loved we loved it. I loved it, but you ve been out here forever. Twenty two years sober watching, we'd get fuckin legal pay attention.
worker on booze. All time like that's like the one thing they like, I can honestly say about.
The programme is that
the obsession will be lifted like I can honestly say that I do
that is the magic I'm not
sure how it happened, but I work bars all fuckin time I see people were.
I love the women I've been with him in the last decade or to have been we'd people, and I just like I dont do it. I don't think about
I mean it's annoying in service,
I smell we'd- am I blew the right by like I don't
I can never get into that zone of like it's legal I mean. Is it? Is it still bad for me?
No, I don't, I don't think about it either. I, when I think about, is getting really old and smoking bonnets and listened to beyond those like really all. You know me like eighty. Seventy five regulation that there be going when it's all done many August smoke. Some we must have the almond brothers, but the album brothers. Why that one, I dont know there's just something so interesting body which album I've listened,
like a peach. Listen to eat appeal, I've Filmore, I other ATLAS in Egypt. I just love hearing Dickie Bet sang really. Yeah is the weird thing I love her hearing. Him sing blue sky. I just I think, it's great. Why
Oh, I love the roads on blue sky words like building idea that song just does something for me. My wife makes fond of me that I love blue sky, sit with you, but that's when we want now now I like, I like all of it, but I liked it when Dickie bet sings more than anything else me that's crazy,
because Greg's the great singer. I like dickies voice, but if you like Greg's voice, but I do I Gregson.
I, like old, great voice.
like midnight writer, that's the one volume and whipping post the ok, I'm with you, I'm with you
I chose area are you? You know you do in the bands you're out on a weed bust of ethics.
You gotta, Sunni purchase yeah, and some guy gives you dope yeah basic.
every I mean what years it.
It was ninety four or not so the white stuffs. However, the good dope it was
it seemed good, did seem good to me
like our. When I was there in the late eighties. That's whenever would drop in dead, that's when they realised that they could, if they didn't cut the dough
they can get. Kids like you wanted people snorted yummy,
or that it would just sort of like stepped on all the fuck, because a bunch of strung out idiots were shooting it
somewhere in the late eighties or like? Why can't we make this for kids,
yeah. If we, if we, if we don't cut it, how much they can snorted and we'll get him
some, I would add a roommate. It was my best friend at the time and he had a friend who is like a rock or guy near, and he was always on lorry side and he was addicted Darwin since he was like sixteenth shootin it now. At that point,
he was not right and he came up
the purchaser? He busted out a bunch aligns a dope and I did a line and I got fuckin,
destroyed. I was puking. I woke up with some girl that I didn't want to wake up.
What did you do anything when
the girl here. I think so yeah and- and I was like this- is too much for me. I was like this is about my experience. When I started my first hour when Spurgeon
vomited and swept yet
I used to do joke about it. It our where ya like this, isn't for me but
but if you really, if your real attic and in your heroin attic after that fuckin verse experience, you like,
I heard you say that joke at the at the moon movie there. Yet no that's for me. I got sick.
like I don't wanna. Do you now era and I loved weed, I love
We need so much? It's like. I think it's it's a pretty short jump from. We dare went away terms of the type a high.
It's very similar, just intensity, an end by
the time I became a heroine act which was years later I need
he did something different from the drug near I had my neurotic. My neuroses was to wait. Ten
but so you start use nor what happens awake? What makes you re commit we re yet, no one try again, while I kind of got a little career make you know in television after I, graduated from
purchase how my alang after you did the dope why'd you junior year, I did
open junior you're, just chipping you just here, and there not never get a one time. Ok, and I never did it again until I was I was hosting or I was producing the shuffle, you graduate College Yacht communications degree, no, art history.
history in Photography Rielly.
I started in communications are Ithaca and I became a stoner, and
and I was like watching art history class. You do well yeah
and of doing while at programme history like you, you take
pictures or history for photography. I was taking pictures and I was doing artistry artistry was my major photo. Is my minor huh?
a whole childhood. I was just obsessed with tv watching television year like I was raised by the television basic clear and then when I got into college, because
It became a stoner. I got really interested in like Beach shared
fuckin, ard and music and video that ship became like really interesting to me. That's one way to go and couch. Yes, that's that
the jewish son of Teachers way to go pre heroin, attic every heroin. That's a guy's, not worried about money, waited exactly exactly. I wasn't worried about money, and- and I, when I wanted to be cool like I wanted her again my head- I was like it was still on the table that I could be like John Lennon or something in my mother like the fantasy. I have that today I do too. Unfortunately, I still do, but like
so that all interested me and any kind of worked with the drugs and with psychedelic some all that shit all happened at the same time,
I got out. I like. I got some bullshit job
I like working in promotion and then a buddy of mine was workin for MTV and he sprained,
then go on. He said: do you want you want appear at this company fair and it was. It was a tiny company called burly their network? I know very well that was owned by Lord Michael's yeah,
and I got a job there and the first day I get there, the guy looks at me and he says just so. You know I've done more drugs than you ever do. What I want a higher. What was his name is named James Mares. Remember: burly. There was for this college angle, it was this college angle, air, and I worked there and I rose to the ranks very quickly.
I started as appear. They had a show called half baked before Dave should be added anger, ass, big and its before vice did their cooking with bird sheriff, and it was this stoner guy who, like
food high, first stone or care and my job was to make sure he wasn't too high, but
make sure that he was high enough. So I had to-
bring we'd by we'd, bring it to the set smoke em up. If you got two I like, given the sandwich like little regulation is high and and then they had me on air and enable were basically their production, as is there no p a patent
a boy I was a marrow wanna. I was to marry, want a coordinator. I think we may degrade the guy hard. You knew that
yeah me hired me as appear, but he said: listen he.
You tell ye them more drugs and I really want to impress me he was like he was like a frat and why are you guys, whereas a total Keith Richards Disciple, like he lived for, keeps Nokia and like he wanted to be this while its eye honoured to frat? By now? I know it is getting. You is canadian. I now there
a mishmash mishmash gonna, hear their onset, getting guys high for their job and that turn
Until I can on air job there.
and they were on
I was on air one, just like it,
oh sting, they do our segments and I would throw to the shows and beer do dumb stared year in Algeria and I and then they had em.
Is video show, and they were like. You want to produce this music videos and as a year, and at this
They aim to make the first video they gave me was a care as one video here from buggy down productions, and I saw that care ass. One was playing at tramp's and I was like, or what, if I go interview where they were like call. So I went and I interviewed care as one and we shall measure on. That's a brewery bear on it
suddenly idea, another box on the network,
I know you know I didn't, I didn't get away with it and then they, let me turn it into my own show the neatly made the music video show separate and we started a little show called shuffle, and I interviewed anybody that I could get em in hand that would be playing a shower. I interviewed the flaming lips, I integer fleet would matter rather people whack Irving, Plaza people Tony. I owe me Bob where others are big, yes call, but by the time I interviewed, you know Jake
Obama's. Yes, I did,
He will give me his number. The Jake volume is real. I think when he got to burly where I was-
Ashdown on Heroin and he was smashed out on heroin and we did.
make acknowledge it
we are both there- he came in after I had established myself and he was like a star and I was very intimidated by him. Oh so he, oh
It was proposed squirt, oh so so you are already there, but he had made his name doing his own thing, Adam TV bigtime area and his groom yeah. So
when did see hosting, shows you talkin about we're in that Wendy starting, get strung out, then
like two years before I talked about where I started to get strung out, but wait what made you go back? The dope? Ok, I was
I was like a location scout fair on their terror.
bull little college talk show and
It would send me out to campuses too fine get
Further talk, show and like to scout
out fine audience. I guess
and I moved in one of my best friends into my apartment and enhance and and and when I
we had found a drug delivery service and all the
kids from purchase where my apartment to buy coke
did had come in hang out in my friend, who is a total train wreck, was cooked your
my friend you now that my friend
FR actually delivered. We'd around the city is nameless Todd and
and he invited that that the co
guy that he loved he loved Coke and an all these kids are in our apartment to get the coke delivered and I walked in I've. Just been an easy, you told me I know, and unlike for
this dude is in my apartment, making all this money. What are you
Then give me he takes
two bags. A heroine throws a Mamma coffee table from
it behaves from a delivery service called indulge and it was.
When these delivery services were taking off it was. I know they did, that yeah was a black card with a white silhouette of a god of eight about you. Gotta have someone vouch for you for that shit, yeah toil
my friend was a weed delivery guy. He knew a bunch of doorman who knew this indulge company indulge comes with us aura and I don't
thanks. I think they went out a visit soon out of it. I ve told write that down some fucking do
crazy drug deliveries and Inman Hand gently ass though he had Jake, be he had heroin. He had ecstasy, he probably had some doses somewhere. I and he threw us
to free bags area and
we snorted em and out and I was so high and I didn't feel bad. I felt great and in the morning I woke up. I think we watch the simpsons we have hast out and in the morning as like a stout.
those higher. So this is how I feel
Can I use the rest of my life? This is how I want to feel, but I knew that I couldn't handle that what all the anxiety went away. Yes, all, I think I think that's what what the
outside of the organic rush. One gets from you
nah slamming the shit bounding that you get that when he snorted room you can get.
Pretty close in the first time. The first time you're, not puking, you can get pretty close, it's different but like, if its first,
I'm your snorting. I mean the snorting, definitely dolls, but
I ever wanted in my life was to not care so much about everything here. You know I mean like I care so much about every stupid or you worry about you
worrying or is it really care? It's Amy, a busy brain? It's the way,
first version of care and cause your caring about the with the dumbest shit, the arbiter of care is the right word cause I
Have a too
But I I I wonder if there is a better word, because I think it's, moreover, is something wrong.
Have to obsession is not really something relative to concern. Its neuroses meets obsession
all I wanted was. If I wanted to say, I don't give a fuck you're actually mean, and I never did until then, I'm fighting little that's happening Rio about some things as I get older than I
giving a thought, I'm getting a little bit better, rather to think I gotta get hung up on bullshit like it, but that's like energy start to realize
This just my way of of not
of avoiding the real pain or avoiding the real sadness or avoiding the thing that
really bothering me. I just get hung up on like this morning in the rain, I'd fuckin for boxes of of that fuckin soda.
the death of liquid death or whatever yeah that they should. I have some economic store, but other
oxygen, the ports that are get now, whether my asking to be a pain in the ass to deal with their gotta stacked those boxes and if the boxes within the boxes get
there can be a sagging I've cans all over the place. So I bought a wreck
What is now showing the morning this morning, if I took my car and I'm unpacking liquid death boxes, so I can stay
come in the fucking garage, so they
soggy, and it was important what is at about eight
I have liquid death. My garage, I understand exactly what you're saying here. I can get very upset about stuff all the time, but when I it's like, I can get sick but
Can you talk to somebody else? I mean that's. The joy of recovery is being able to deal with yours.
By helping somebody, I sure and way star texting you
because badly once in a while, but I've learned my latin I've learned my lesson. You learn how to use the weather.
Great thing about recovery, really, if you can handle it aspect is
what you do on like all this stuff, that you are the real. I you weren't patients rights
the karate kid like sitting at meetings, gonna shit, not just fucking. Eighty is
but then they rise when dates like others, a part of it right
and then or the other thing is boundaries like you know, if you're
This was a somebody. Keep it about recovery
You're gonna be out some money, and maybe some merchandise
Did I happened with you really but like because
As you know, I have a swipe profile public profile. It becomes tricky for me to this project.
I am also co depend
and then an and my boundaries are bad, so rich
like, I know guys it only sponsor through email. That's interesting,
well yeah, I mean, but you know like when you really think about like you didn't
what kind of person you are and how much we can engage in sponsorship. I mean you know it takes a lot because if you get,
imagine what somebody you know it.
it's no longer about sponsorship by guy its sponsors at like noticed, shut up and do this work and that's it and I'll. Listen to you
talk about bull. Shit now, hang up here, that's hard for me, but that's what the job is. Yes,
while the job is to take you through the steps at it. My sponsor is like he's like he says,
He's like a real long, island guy and he's like just keep your
I can mouth shut, don't fuck, I'm worried about a Basque. I call me anymore. It's about timing is eventually those guys. Are. You eventually get frustrated because you're not getting enough like you know
not getting paranoid properly and then you go find the fuckin sponsor that's more like you and then you go inside a few years. You are even my sponsor anymore. It's like I love. I actually have spawns ease now, which shocked me that's great and I have a sponsor and it is in its workin out nicely, but back then
as soon as I got my deal making my own show and they gave me like a contract for two years. I was like addicted Darwin, like the next day. I think I can afford. I didn't think I could afford
Until then, our and it was like it was laws or like right after you woke up. So I feel like this all the time. It was only a matter of power. It was like a year and a half of dna, occasionally of of doing it at the old.
did once a week than I do on Wednesdays Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday week starts Roy earlier IA and an end it just it, but it didn't boy you afford to their. I really love it s, a really loved, yet when they can get here soon. But I remember by mega: do you know you know the Lou Red Heroin? You know when he says I made a big decision like I
I felt like I made a big decision like I was gonna. Do it like. I was in
I remember thinking like because I knew that I couldn't handle withdraw, and I wasn't like lying to myself that I could ever
not have it. I needed to have it every day and I was like
That's what I'm doing. I remember
just like that?
we're paying me a lot of money, my job, I grew up in low income housing. Here I got an apartment in low income housing. When I was twenty one. My other put me analysed when I was eleven. I got the place where I was twenty one. It was three hundred dollars a month for a big studio on twenty fourth street neath Avenue here and I was making like a hundred grand a year and I could pay for it. You know I do
focused on their sound. What else were you doing heroin
What is that habit? I mean how
How will you just starting
yeah- that's not a lot. I will
at the end of it this money went through in dollars a day,
and then only a minute and then turned into shooting, and then I was shooting three hundred hours a day how the fuck I mean like it. I guess you towers, gives built up
but that's a time bags dude, it's it's three!
bundles of heroin everyday candidates yeah, and yet it you get it cheaper, but you run out of money. You know you got into pills and I got it and I still smoked weed and I just like with three bundle so like how many bags you doing prudent for snort
sitting my two three hours. I don't even remember what it is like I could barely even it my pique I could barely gives you a fucking eight ball in a night while I think it's different
with that. We tolerance wise with heroin, because the tolerance really grows, and I don't remember I dont remember how it went.
Does snorting. I just remembered that I couldn't afford it and I started shooting, but then I remember I would take you know it have to be taught to shoot yeah and I was terrible at it. I was terrible at it for a long time
I keep missin yeah and whose I was a bloody fuckin mass. Like I heard you on the show the other day in your life
I come from a long line of drivers and it's like I'm a fucking passenger like I'm, not greater, driving, amalgamated shooting Dope Non like
eventually. I got good at it because I can't had to, but I bet I would take these eighty dollars shots. Ninety dollars, shots hundred hours waste them. Now I would fall.
hit em and I M just saying: like my
addiction, got to that kind of place
so when you lose the job, pretty quickly
I lost the job the first time. I ran out of money so as to your deal, and you asked if there was a three year d I lost in the second, the beginning of the second year- cause you're stronger, because
It was a kind of classic thing where I ran out of money. I didn't want to ask my parents for more the dealers.
Laurent fronting me anymore and others like any Austria apartment not yet. I was like I want to go to detox. Do I
how burly bear or do I tell my parents, and I was like a minitel. My parents
burly bear fired me for breach of contract. They are looking for a way to fire me. If I just told them they would have had to seminary him see fucked up again, I fucked up
and then, after that I didn't work. I just was on unemployment, so you cleaned up now
didn't cleanup rehab I went to. We have a bunch of times. I went to her
at that point I I was doing
who detox is at Beth, Israel, free Detox, zoos, mass and am,
They would dare to you evaluate too,
they get now to give you methadone they
Macedonia we're your Party
methadone parade. Yeah
as a mother, not really
Tunisia, those guys like Third Avenue the wheel junkie talk it's my favorite coming up yesterday, Tasmanian, it's like thou is like classic. I was on methadone in LOS Angeles, for six. You that's worth gives you go get a ride. There was no, I drove, and it was a fuckin disaster. It was
it's a fucking Iver methadone. Now not if you
take it a free, you done so I too, so you try to.
clean up in your kind of it doesn't sound, really
and then, when do you start shooting the dough?
I started shooting and Open Europe and, after you asked a job after our last
job, I went to a rehab, I came home.
What have we left early? I left early from the rehab, some junkie and use.
Like why you're wasting money nor in the dark, but should the dope and I started shooting the dope after that I loved it.
and I may get hepsey or nothing not as a miracle miracle.
We share a needle now shared one needle one time, but about Europe's S about it. For here what is still thinking about a story I throw away never had drunk on, and then I and then I went to my than my parents sent me to Florida. They got a thing. I cheat deal on a rehab and I went to Florida and
That's when they gave away my apartment.
And I and tell you they told me
they told me that the council is like my breath,
it was three hundred dollars a month and my parents repaying the rent,
the council was like your enabling this this guy
they were, but
everyone in my rehab we're like millionaires. We don't have any money, you can't get a thing like that was in Cyprus, and down knows
an pen south, it is on twenty another buildings on eight avenue, the big red buildings like it's between twelve
Fourth Street and twenty nine street unaware might my dad still if there that's fancy, it's beautiful, John,
Kennedy built the place and nineteen sixty three are beautiful. It was the international
of em, shrewish, garment workers, union building, suddenly Arthur penthouses in shit in there now you're thinking of the ones on Grand street that went private and now, with the docks Jews violet for apartments and build staircase. Tween, it's fuckin cool, but an hour
in the one my dad's lives and still public and um aren't control its pub, its etc
really subs at all, and am I
you're going to Florida. They gave way the apartment and that's when I came out here to do what,
two to start another career and television, production and weak?
clean for any amount of time couple months. I agree
I came at Todd, moved out to allay the guy who was giving my four
and drugs. In my apartment, I moved to Todd's how
He told me he wasn't doing drugs, but I didn't know he had just started doing math. So
I was on math within like a week of coming here. From far where you tell me what
tired of it. We lived in North Hollywood and then my
Girlfriend came out. He had a girlfriend that I had a girlfriend dope. Her now choose,
donor and she came out and we got an apartment together, an echo park and I lived in ECHO Park for
how are you making a living? I wasn't not at all so how'd you get apartment sheep she paid for it.
I now seven years there were two cats in our house and me this scumbag part I now it's just I got it was enabling an hour and I was on methadone and heroin. She knew she knew and living in ECHO Park or Zack Roma. She she like the guy
rich now, she retired is living in Woodstock. She got there
it is like the story of her. It's like, I feel bad, that we're talking so much like. I didn't expect to be talking this much about stuff that wasn't Opie by
didn't. You isn't am I shall I do, but I just I don't know why I don't know why I just figured out talk about dopey birth. What have you talk about the workings of the fucked up thing about this woman
was that she one of my best friends from Hunter that I had made friends with seminars for still friends with him. She was,
his girlfriend and she left
come for me in
the beginning of my heroin addiction, big mistake, and that was really were compounded. My guilt here, like that, thank as he's like my brother Leah, unlike
and talk to him for, like I don't know ten year,
there's something I feel now yeah yeah, so she made a fortune. She
like a year after after we broke up at which she finally say fuck you now I was like I broke up with her cause. Why can't you were living in the street?
because now bad, but at that point we had lived and allay my mom got diagnosed with leukemia. I decided I needed I needed to get off methadone and I needed to see my mother because I couldn't live with being
methadone in LOS Angeles. While my mother was dying, we come,
back together. If you ever do anything out here, the air
got a job working for a channel nine? I did a magazine, Chokehold nine on the town and I
like the associate producer and I would shoot dope in their bathroom
in their bathroom there's a private bathroom with a drawer kept a tissue box full of needles in their bathroom. Thinking like this
something I should do a good decision terribly. They find it now,
but they fired me and they were like it's obvious you're on drugs. I think how is it obvious murmured? I was thrown away. I Iraq nodding out at the board. After that I did nothing. I hear basically very lonely broke up with the chick where'd you. If we I
moved in with my friends mother my hand ass, he came
that we move to Burlington who mean this woman
life. I lasted two mom
and I was like I can't live here. We didn't have a car like it's gonna winters coming out. I could think of doing get called as like I gotta go home. I gotta go back to my hand, and I got a break up with this woman is, I was so sick and she and end we added a codependent. Really Georgia be known. She was enabling me and I had to get out of it and vat.
Swam, I called my cousin said: can I work a Kansas and he said yes and I got an I went-
and that's when I started it catches when you
me too: do you hosted dopey with twenty eleven.
that was a two thousand and eight
Are you working to cats is due, among other things, we talked about yes and then start buying dope.
yeah. I was smoking weed, I was then I met my current partner and an
got pregnant and my mom died. Thought of stuff.
My mom dies. I meet my my daughter's mother. She gets paid
yeah we're getting married and we have to give you the up two kids. So
if we are lucky, she had no, your drugs
she knew I was it had it, but I wasn't doing heroin. I wasn't doing Owen doing anything but smoking weed when she got out of other. Oh, yes, she knew everything and you still get decide to have your child.
The air. While she was thirty five, she got pregnant and she was like. I'm gonna keep this baby and I like our it. Let's do it.
that same guy Todd who I've told you about showed up at our apartment in a with heroin and
that's when I started doing heroin again
and my wife left me with our baby baby was:
and that's when I went to rehab and I met Chris, who I started dopey with her in two thousand:
I met him in rehab. He was the worst drug I had ever met had been rehab like sixteen times your gas, my friend, he was funny
He was like the big chief in one flew over the cookers. Now he was like I did. He talk eighty two,
och, but he had been in there is like a twentieth day programme and he had been there for like six months like he barely went to groups, he would hide in his room, and this in that rich get very rich kid very rich kid, and
and then, when I got out of there, he
what kind of show up a cat is. He would bring girlfriends two cats is a guide as day Dave, sandwiches year like that, like here and now, and then fuck em. What
I started smoking weed and I had this vision that I wanted to do. Another show at cats is so I started doing a show called the last jewish waiter about a waiter who hate
His job because I was waiting table, videos on Youtube and
it was. It was a show about a waiter who hates waiting tables, but he wants to do a talk show. So he d
the talk show while he waits tables and it got some claim and like paper magazine, wrote about it and the ether wrote about it and I got
the deal with that big. The Anthony Bourdain team, like they did a shopping deal for me in here, if they ruined at an end,
and Chris was like dude. You know.
This is amazing. I want to do something and I
still getting high and me and my daughter's mother were trying to get back together and
he found out that I started take pills again
And we get the pills, catches
you know like weirdos cats, drug attics, here,
like just Clodagh pantries, an extra, but that was the beginning and also was dating and been in. Cars were giving me pelagia. It was just. It was a mess,
and, and then me and my daughter's mother were trying to get back together. She found out about the pill yeah she's, like you're, losing your
a city again here and that's when I was like, I gotta get fuckin sober, and it was then that I started going to twelve
that meetings a real and I took it seriously, and that was why
and then Chris was like only shit. The last you wish waiters so cool. What can I do like that as they are now and then I was like oh yeah, you of these crazy drug stories. We should start a pod cast about the worst drug stories that we ever did.
so. He was sober. He
Who is your sober, and I was four months over when we started so he was doing
he was doing it hard core and you'd primarily did it out of fear of losing your kid. I did it because I
I've gotten to that point where I, as forty one
My whole life was Vienna
as you just heard one horrible thing after another, and and and this was
top of my life, I'm a waiter at catches,
I'm sub letting an apartment- and I was like this- is forty one years of life and you're a kid on long island. Can I had a cannibal island who I love more than anything, and I was like when I heard them say rarely. Have we seen a person failed thoroughly follows this thing.
I've never thoroughly done anything as like as what, if
forty one years? This is what I have what I like those your daughter. She was for us a real little per year and I
and I loved her- and I I just my dad
the great parent to me my mom is a good parent to me. I wanted to be a good parents and wonder your mom died. We able to show up for that year I was.
and she was high and allotted dying and she laughed she's like laughed at me
I should like on my God David. This is the first time I understand what you are doing it I did. It was a miracle that I got to see my mother before she died like you is because there has been years and years and years where I was just gone, miserable debauched so
like when I got sober
Chris was like. We should do something in me and my my my current partner warrant together and I just played in bands to stay busy music list.
I applaud cast. I didn't know it upon rise in Algeria and then started.
When it started doing it, and I think, in December of twenty fifteen and
and I've never missed a week until never,
never never to a weak one away.
in the beginning. We did to a weak because we had a stupid can set up here. For then it turned into one a week and I've done one week sense and like we ve hit always guests now,
now for the first hundred and forty two episodes it was mostly just me and Chris hanging out. I care in their we'd have a guest like like Danny
boy, o Connor from House of pain, would show up at cats his night, and you know he was sober as I do want to come on. The pilot hasn t about smoking weed there an eternity at twelve years. Oh you know, and it was cool and am and then
we had the listener ship. You know what I mean. We had all these junkies. Who could we
late as could we weren't really talking about recovery, were content hanging out and being stupid. Here was the pod cast on drugs, addiction and dumb shit.
Right. I remember when I talk to you about it before I did it I was asking is like. Is the angle recovery or you just celebrating the fuck up things we did
the idea was people who
I've been like us, had an experience and it's just
That's just to capture the experience. Is that like the ethnic and my question is always so, do I cows that not gonna make people are trying to stay sober? Go like this,
that was the beginning and end. It was like the first episode Chris told a story about being
in a black out, in LOS Angeles, wanting drugs going to a veterinarians clinic now
acting out the the the vat assistant to
at Fino Barbie tall like that and he got arrested. Helicopters came and he went to jail for like a year at the end,
The episode I was like you know what we need to say: we're sober because
people are gonna, think that we're just glorifying drugs or the recovery cunning got baked in just by car.
I'll, find the fact that we were sober and what happened with Chris.
ah you what year Chris died
in twenty eighteen, but six weeks before Chris
died that Guy Todd died
the guy who lived in my apartment, the guy who lived out here and he was like Neville in your story. He was one
Yes, he was the devil on my shoulder and he died away. O d
You know that no yeah he diver,
a final overdose on purpose. I don't know, I don't think so
no like did, he know he was getting that? No, I don't think so. I don't think he cared. I just think
he was so fuckin done with his life in his life,
which is total fuckin how when he died when he died, I broke you know
something inside me just broke. We had just had our second daughter, we had just bought our house and my boy
s friend I bet
ok, you're, sober age. I was sober
yeah, but I was emotionally fuckin destroyed from the sky dying like that, and-
the show chain than I
really laugh in the same way about the worship near my best friend just died and then
and Chris was in a great
it's cool programme to get a phd in psychology. He had this
girlfriend who is in Harvard he lived in Boston and six weeks after tat died. He died at an hour. A relapse relapse overdoes dead first thought forever,
That was the real after he didn't do it. I don't know I mean I think this decision
or a kind of came out that he had gone on vacation with his girlfriend to Angola and he like TAT,
or a muscle in his leg. He was in pain and he the funny thing was that, on the show on dopey, he would be like which probably gonna happen. Is I'm going to relapse because I'm in pain and overdose
you like, set it on the show, and then it happened
aunt em. He died and it was like lay
you know what I mean. Why are you here? I mean
like in his obviously his family. You know,
It was funny the night before he died. He called me just a man
I didn't realize it, but he called me just a
because we are fighting here when we did dopey. We did dopey fur, for I think two and a half.
Rina half years before he died and am
we could come them in hand. He lived in Boston, he'd, come to manner or great Barrington Massachusetts and come to an end and at the
and he stopped coming and we started like do
Skype call the bull shit in episode and, as I do
but it doesn't seem like you're interested in this any more here, but in reality he was relapsing and I
I didn't put it went on he cop to it he can come to it. He said
stir runs a M
like a sober coaching gay, and he was a client in his sisters, world and the night before he died. They drug tested him
The results came back the day after he died right. So if pills sentinel
for him it was fence alcohol pills, coke fuckin. He was like a
It was just doing everything he was that the real like a real serious drug act and when
he died like a bunch of me
or in our community had died like that. We were close,
with an entire died, and that direct me and when
This time it was like crazy town,
You know I mean like it was just the end of the world in our community because all
of these people that listen to the show loved him. He was broken
in reality and end like fire
and use ten years younger than me, he died at thirty four in our work or right before you
right that right when he was about to turn thirty four? He died
and I M
are like our community started. This whole thing called dopey nation, and you know they do
like twenty five dopey nation zoom meetings a week now every week and people have dopey tattoos and shared, and you know you
and it was soon after that- that
I didn't know what I was gonna do with the show I I was just
I mean they're gonna fuckin. If the show
stays miserable, I'm gonna stop doing it, but I didn't
stop doing it at first, because we have a community of people that were you know,
entrenched without you like. We were part of their story there and, like a bunch of people like we're like dopey, got me sober and, unlike ok, that's cool seemed we're
didn't seem like it any sense to me and- and I
Didn't know what the show was gonna become because the show is just mean Chris Fuckin being stupid together here and am and that's why,
you come into the picture and you are my first like another expression
shot the area. I gonna really like that exposure, but finally
people use for parking. We as a guy got out of the equation spot of Romania. Maybe now I'm I'm on a cat is, and I was posted
have the guy who wrote beautiful boy. You know the John Thinkers Names David Shaft and
he was ass. Yet there is coming on the show and he had the movie beautiful boy out and he D E mailed me
I'm not going to be able to come on, don't because I'm doing actual press in ongoing CBS here and there and others
ever came. He did out he's a guy can come on in six months or something and I go outside and I'm sorry-
cigarette still and
and I think I was being nicotine here and I was like the shows done there.
Nothing. I mean what am I gonna fuckin do and you come walking down the street in that moment,
and I said holy shit so
work man- and I all- and I was bugging you on twitter before that and I was like reach- will respond now at an end.
Like when I mention dopey, do you like hell you that fuckin annoying I on Twitter, you now
but it was like the greatest fuckin mom,
like I was waiting for. You know
something to happen, and it did and like it really reaffirmed my belief and in everything
honest with you. I walked by new he's, a cost
the junior accosted me and I had your annoying and you like this desert. I've ever wanted. But it's happened with you a few times. You know
stay right there I know, but you know what are the odds
the latter? Another pretty good? I just like happy to hear that you know you know there is a com
polluted thing that, with what
attics and with the world we live in, is add in sobriety. So I guess annoying as you are. You know I was happy or sober,
so there's always that under current there, when they also, we had a bunch of things in common. I know you I mean, but that wasn't the time you asked me to do the show now. The next morning I invited you for breakfast right, add egg
you had locks and I'm in Armenia, and then I brought you a smattering of meat, Seattle Array and and then whatever you're like em, maybe I'll do the shop, I think the new
next day I texted you and your like I'll, do the show just stop annoying me and then
next day, we did the show in end.
Your hotel and then I waited tables that catches for ten hours. Right after the interview, I thought it was great there and but
in the sense that Now-
working due to my own horn here but like what was it. Why
they did so and pack for that that I've. How did I
facilitate this shift, that what I mean,
you listen to me before I list
and she before I really like your, shall I have seen our. I was really interesting that and the fact that you were sober and were a cute.
castor now talk to criticise like we should get this guy on the show? Some are our Chris hated interviewing Piero. He just like one to hang out and as and I always had a limit in the back of my head- that you would be the ideal guest for dopey and you were because you know how to do this year and you ve been through something. Unlike
think we had a very similar sort of
ambition and and and were
twisted in similar things, and I figured we would it would it would die
and it did but like
It was generally I just can't co host. It is this where this is going on. Even the asked me to go, I think that's what I'm looking for. I know dark Fonzie, just where the dark, so I thought maybe you'd want to jump into the open agri. Now you jump on Marin. Might
no, I'm just saying I it was. It was impact for it also just was like it was some
God I can. Then we started getting bigger gas and I have been incredibly tenacious and annoying with a lot of people sure and on and we
but the thing you can sort of couch it in. You know service
yeah, but I don't feel no, I mean, but no, you have to say that, but it
you talk to me like radio, you talking to people and recovery and new is the kind of biogas. Is no help at all
while Jamie Curtis right, where was I cats before Chris died,
and am she's. I get
no bagel and cream cheese for Christopher Destinies she's, leaving and connect for him or something like some other girl. That's Jamie Courage and I ran out of the store I write
get out of your van cat shirt and a hat and the herd in this letter, and that with my aproned it I'm waiting failure and I run outside I like like- did the bugs binding I'm waiting for outside like smoking and only genially Curtis.
would you come on my ipod- cast its all about drugs, addiction and dumb shit and she's. Like I'm a
a fiend- and I was like I'm a
a dream to Uganda and she said she would come on then, when she knew we were laughing about the story. She said I'm not coming on chow and it wasn't until after crystal that she was like I'll come on. Now. Was weird party cried and open air? Now,
very powerful yeah we're all gonna raw. He who else Vienna
with our dairy tray, oh sure, killer. My career killer MIKE here he's great. Ah I'm not had carmaker while he's gone,
turn on your last year when the jaws
yeah. I just like. I don't know enough about music
enough about music either. He says the cats Guy Mackenzie, Philips just came on this. We are she she's great. She wanted. She wants you to Ararat tellers Garcia. So you
primarily just wait around the Delhi for people.
back in that might be
however the yes, I have Adobe sign of sheet, and right now I mean I've gotten the people have got another catches. Are you Jim
really Curtis killer MIKE Bob Forest.
And then leg and by
forest leg he got
to doktor drew in like whatever and anxious like. Then I just
go crazy and I write anybody. I can- and I just do whatever I can t
my gap and to worry about it,
he was like you get real advertisers got some of the same ones. I do I mean
like a dude, it's it's going good girl and still fun there.
No less important, so wake how's everything we have family. I met your wife and are your partner and I bought you dinner. We will already re was great. That's when you union floated the idea about me coming on your podcast
We have because you just get your disciple of Gaza gaff Aggies easier again.
I never asked to come out. I never asked to come off. It was implied. Maybe yes, it was implied.
But yet my mama families really good we're getting married. The summer we might elder daughters, eleven, my younger daughters, three, I'm still it catches, which will guarantee a be behind the scenes. Now, yes, on corporate taxes and corporate
most? They they make fun of me and call me. Corporate cats is until I'm like making bag launches. Four hundred and fifty people
that's it I'm sure you do a sometimes
Sometimes they make me avail events here. We do events catering, like so what it, but don't like the guy who I met him. He was a little like you know, of Rwanda, some asylum and the boy was eight nine Jake, you Jake. What checked out he's the guy wants it beyond it?
coming into that? Just out of curiosity? What did he do to two? Because now people like it,
ridiculous to wait. If it's the only real jewish Deleon town, I guess I Barney greengrocer Barney, just still there still there I've never been mainly the but but cats.
It is a destination. People wait like two three hours,
the EU now known to our now way
even if the line is down the street over its Twentyman falcon. So, but what did he do? I mean these
changed in real change any recipe. He didn't change, anything that the most brilliant thing he did was like blowup cats shipping, so you could get. Cats is anywhere in the country.
A key had that vision. He knew he couldn't put anybody else in the store and he's like
I know, there's a lot of people in America that one in that were in that it pays the bills.
And we do we do. Then the coolest
About cats is a hundred thirty, three years old, we ask you walk in there and you feel like you're someplace that doesn't exist and every day that it stays open. That becomes more true.
Other places close. So it is,
this the magic very manager about, but I think it's really like what I always say is that you reason you don't have daily in most places real valley is you gotta have turnover. I give you, you can't
there's no way he serving yesterday's pastrami. Now it could. You can,
We were very, very busy nobody, but that's what makes a good
There's no other way to do it. I give you gotta
pastrami your corn be sitting around for three fuckin days can eat it. No, I mean
do that's. Why? That's where there's no Delhi anywhere, but it's like,
chicken and egg. You know I mean you need to turn over in order to keep it. But if nobody comes, you can't turn it over. I get level by that's why it only exists in New York.
Why some people ordering that fucking? You know that that prick
a keyboard national pact. Corned, beef
and I'll do that like in the middle of nowhere at the daily, but is not the same as gettin fresh, our core me five esteem table slice.
There's nothing like walking up to a counter having a dude, take a gigantic hungry and cut it in front of you. It's like it's very magical, it's very late, but it's also fresh in its good and fair, but so the recipes rather say everything
You could have on site here, no shit
everything is right there in its been religious geyser. That's worked there for forty five years. Jake came in at
twenty two and he was like it was easy. They're gonna go to medical school or take over cats
and he fell in love with it out. You wish dilemma re examined and meanwhile, unlike this junkie, waiter new again by moving up in the business, I don't know
I mean like I'm doing fine. I can
The job that I now like, all I want is for dopey to be bigger,
don't to be mainstream. I want to be a living
But I know that if I ever leave cats as it will have been the greatest job I have read, but while I mean it is right and I'm saying but dopey is all you you do everything I
Do everything I have a friend who helps me produce it there. He, like goes through the material with me and helps me plan stuff, and I have another guy who helped me with a little marketing stuff and I like there's a lot of people in the end, the dope community that participate, but they make ard and they send in a low voice. Mail is stories. Songs like their oil, the sun, so much original music that comes out of the audience in the audience is incredibly tight and like that, there's, like twenty people, would dopey tattoos
It's like call love it. I dont have a tattoo
now, there's a couple of micro entities at her.
Does that make you feel good, doktor Waterworth, it's weird, but it's I signed a guy's arm once anyone I hadn't my signature, wow this.
Big bird thing here when I was an ally. I didn't work for you
and I decided I needed to get a job and I saw a kids party.
A person job, so I
I go there and there they teach you how to block balloon animals and
very I'll do kids party, but I'm strung out on heroin and I'm super high on heroin,
give me the costume and the costume. Was this fuckin cracked out big bird cost area with like that? You know,
downtown, Aurelio, matted feathers and the googly eyes. You don't look like big bird and they had
the big big bird feet, but they didn't give me tights.
So, like I had Harry legs like that picture now I would go to kids parties high on heroin trying to entertain wearing this fucked up big word costume with Harry Legs, and somebody sent me
artwork work in another.
People have a tattooed on them here and like it's, a big piece of our like art or vibe, like that's, that story by low rate
It is what it is. You know it's weird, it's weird that my biggest
Failure has become like this story,
two people have tattooed on them. Is that we're know it.
It's the order, origin myth,
It's the creation myth. It is the key.
Asian method dopey. Definitely our party were was guitar
Secondly, I glad we did it got everything's. Well, every effort
I do have a lot of friends. I also there's been fun trip when I got here is totally traumatic now already.
Got off the plane. I was just like all. I could think about where the years that I destroyed here has totally freaked out now to go to a meeting. Yesterday morning I get my shit together. I gotta go.
I was gonna bother you, but I knew better did not Basel fucking. I come so like out of the meeting looped.
What're you gonna, do be a dry mother fucker now for a meeting
I now like to make you feel bad. It's like forget spiritual, great master. I know you'll just feel better. Yes, I could you get those neural pathways in your head that are
you- got any go the meeting.
You're regenerated crazy. It's annoying now, when I went to that meeting yesterday and I was miserable and I look up at the stupid, fuckin steps and then I'm like this is where I am now I'm this call fuckin member weakling, but it
February that I never do the call thing anymore. It's sort of like that, like it it's it's what it was
has done things. I heard the room psych here. Some guy says it all the sponsor the days being brainwash.
How would I my brain need a watch, the idea, of course, but it's I you know- I mean I didn't I never wanted to to
to really be like. I need this makes me uncomfortable to need that I don't know
I do. I do get a little out of the loop and a little brittle.
Yeah usually stay in touch with sober people. Great you all the time. What
where the other I talked to them, but even that sort of demand.
We put some woman, I just now so
It's always weird how this happened. A woman I know from New York just moved here: she's like she pre gun houses,
I just found this one great game:
Everybody here is like everyone's. Not I didn't do zoom cause. I couldn't, can cope with anyone deal with its uncomfortable. Yes,
right now. There started happening in reality have gone in Silverlake a couple times with Jerry. You can take any gimmick are to night
talking you gave as I give you'll get about it. I felt
You talk him. I feel like I talk too much. That's what this is it, ok for you. I was here due to manage a talking. Was it ok for you yeah, but I don't want you to fly away from flying out. You're gonna get fucked it up, do less injustice.
Sit with you. I was worth the whole thing. It was where the whole thing from
There you go dopey pod gas, get it wherever you get your pod gas. Ok. Can you do that? Also this by gas sponsored by better help online therapy better help is customized online therapy that offers videophone and even live chat with your therapists. It's more affordable than in person therapy and you can be matched with there
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W Tia. Now, I'm just gonna fucking
rob through some dirty blues.
We'll chap who s ball. Custom
the monkey abundant gaze, everyone,
Transcript generated on 2022-01-06.