« WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1296 - Drew Michael

2022-01-13 | 🔗

Drew Michael wants his comedy to feel different. He wants the audience to have a unique experience. This mindset actually reminds Marc of his own style of comedy, as well as a few other iconoclastic stand-ups who used their time on stage to get laughs but also get to the bottom of life’s problems. Drew and Marc talk about the combustible nature of experimental comedy, specifically Drew’s new special Red Blue Green. They also talk about how Drew’s childhood hearing loss shaped his life and made comedy a viable way for him to be understood.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey folks before we get started here on the show. I just wanted to give you a heads up on a few dates. Coming up, I'm going to do this in chunks in sections at the end of this month, twenty seven twenty eight and twenty nine and thirty it I've got a few. Dates here on the West Coast, JANET where he, twenty seventh in Santa Barbara California, at low Barrow Theatre, free a theatre in San Luis, Obispo, California, on January twenty Eightth I'll be at the palace. Some fine arts in San Francisco on JANET. Twenty ninth two shows First, one sold out already, the nine thirty show still has availability and on the 30th I'll be at up uptown theatre in Napa, California, ok, I just do it he's in pieces so that sir that's what's coming up now, let's do the show the guy
all right. Let's do this, how are you what the fuckers, what the fuck bodies with the FUCK mix, what the fuck stirs has going? Are you? Ok is everything all right? Did you get over it? Did you get a Czech? Are you feeling better Are you getting out much? How terrified? Are you. Are you in the midst of an existential tailspin where we at what's going on, put the ice cream down put it down? Can I am enough with the cookies It's it's seven in the morning. That's not breakfast! So today, on the show this guy drew Michael the comedian rider. He was a staff right on Saturday. Night live for a couple seasons back in two thousand, a teen didn't experimental self titled comedy special. Were he had? No audience is
Special was called red Blue Green, look. I didn't know this guy. And. My old manager represent. am I a manager said, do you know this guy and I'm like? I don't know this guy and he said he. You got this special red, blue, green. And I said I watch check him out, but I don't but there, but that's just way this goes. Sometimes I don't know all the new comics, the young guns, but Watch this guy- and you know his groove- was familiar because there's only if you guys do that One time I used to be one of the guys that did that. Maybe I still am there's a type of comedy, a type of tone. bad think I was a little more aggressive about when I was younger. The. I can see what you can't see tone. Just guy, and you know I saw something familiar something I related to
ok, I gotta talk to this guy, so Vizier did and we had some issues and I'll, it get into that? No second, who doesn't love here and a good story rights part of what makes us humans stories are how we make sense of the world. Are you know who understands is South Rogan? Does the up? et Cetera going on a couple of times and easy guy. You can tell a great story. You know from his movies to the guy's. A great story, teller with or without the weed well, is mostly with, but no matter what he's good at it will now death is the one getting other people to tell the stories with his new show story. Time would south rogue it, sir, believe that everybody's got a great story Anum each week South welcomes a friend to the show to regale him with their very best story could be anything low stakes, high stakes, dramatic hilarious, whatever the story is south. What's his guests, other story with top of the line, audio production and sound designed. This isn't
some talk show. This is something completely unexpected and you'll never know where each story will take you whether it's a person is really familiar to you like Paul ROD or someone you ve, never heard of before you'll get the best story. They have told in the best way possible, been season one of story, time at several gone right now on stature, apple pie, guests or any other podcasting app. So. I talk here about a buster, your busters. Still on these good bounced back Thank God I got out. I got quit lean on the cats. Do you know what I mean. I got just give. Him gave him a rest. Hyper focused the work going on now. Is very awful that sad passed away and as most you know- posted there. Just
all the talks we had. We had three anyway so funny so nice and so on, should grant great guy is very sad and go to the funeral, and I generally don't go to funerals. I dont know why I don't I mean I fuels, definitely print them weddings near they only happen once and it's heavy, but I M uniting go to Patrice, is adding go to giraffe Those I really haven't been to a funeral in awhile because I am either not around on the road and but I'm going to say it's because I'm in town it's not far and I have a suit of a black suit. Then adults in show business young black suit. That's my choice. that I've talks have a black suit. Your ads eater, apparently for a shows. Were I don't want anything and now for fuel? That's. Why have the black soup? You can go to a lot of award, shows in your black suit, never win anything and you can go to funerals in your black suit and at least now,
but that's what you're gonna get that's definite the award who knows death. It's come baby, but I dont know ways family at all, but I know his friends and we have friends in common- I am going just to ya as a show of respect and for the guy. There is first sooner I've gone to an awhile and in I don't know I guess I have an aversion who doesn't beggar grow the fuck up it's time you know, go show up for the other people very sad that yeah when they died. I don't I don't know. I guess it was a memorial up in Seattle with her friends during covered There was nothing there's nothing here, are you now I was not involved in anything. Is a memorial or a funeral, or anything like that, for then, in I regret that I can get you know. did you get closure? There's something about processing.
Passing of somebody and processing grief in general. That happens when you go to a funeral, when you go, when he sits shiver. When you do you got The process of sort of collective grieving, but you know I got a black suit unaware. so this guy, I am drew Michael. this comedian. So what I'll tell you what happened so my eye, as I said earlier, my old manager, Dave suggests is guided me. So you checked him out of my knife in here. You should out, I think you you'll, like it and I you now- I see if you'd be interested in having a miser check it out, in this guy did. Somebody like you is differ, and obviously then me and by their there's, a type of comedy that that is the practitioners of which our foreign
few there's only a few. and I know where it starts. I know where it comes from. yeah? I know the sources. You know that There's hex their stand, hope there's whatever I was doing when I was younger, maybe a couple other people, but just know where the guy was coming from. I could tell by the style and how he was your try, you prove what are you trying to prove the end in the desert? lesson teaching of the town watching and there's a couple great debits, Mariners, Vienna, the ending the endings interesting, but felt there's some stuff in it. That was familiar to me and I got you. Nice guy will squarely about it, and so I did some googling and I found some stuff, they made me uncomfortable and I told Dave, and then I d He told this guy drew and Andrew was like I'll talk to you about it. So you have. There is some so stop. There is some discussion. of either parallel thinking or not. Knowing something-
He has been retread, I e I stopped short of guide, calling stand hope to say. Like way. Do you know this guy at the idea of you watch this am I wrong. Is there something is this, but so it doesn't matter really. I was diplomatic about it and the special ends well and, as I said there, some good bits in it, but I just I don't It was because its familiar to me because of what I used to do or what I do Or you know whether or not you know just he's the new guy doing it and who knows. But tat, we get into it a bed and any very smart guy. The special It was called drew Michael Red, blue green. streaming on HBO Max. This is me talking drew.
that was a thing about people coming to the house was that it was this army you know cause it wasn't when, when I start This thing people I used to do in that rights. Are they come and they'd have to reckon but the fact that you're, not only was it like some studio, but it was my life yeah, I guess you're you're cooking, supersede idea so like it brings people to a different place. You know right away. It's a widow gets him off centre. You know about on purpose, just like pulling up into somebody's home. It's it's it's and want to see intimidating, experienced, but there's something to it is definitely uneven right. It's not show business and like it on a very well. You didn't like it. If you go to a tv studio like you did Kimmel yet and I got to know
you can gather dressing rooms, gimme some snacks miasmas. You can talk to you about the thing right, but when, when just drive your guys house, it's right now know what's gonna, why didn't know that you ate there's no one else here the nano and run in no donnerwetter, No, it's my ex known to the sound border. Its decision me yeah. It becomes an issue. One people bring people. I was my whole big idea. Is I gotta get this separate building and people could no use the bathroom out here and they brought people they could sit and out of the room. But now I get I made him sit outside I kind of new to come so low. I think this is like a bring people. This is an applause. One affair bring Becky. Now now imagine my brother wanted to go. My brother came, there came a man, and I say I think this is just going to be me. Does he without here he does see our really now. What's he do out here? It's for you he works in sales just out here he's out here. He does girlfriend moved out here.
They were from Chicago. You want to get out of the weather here and now is either New York earlier they decided to come here while New York, one gets you too far out of the weather, and now I mean whatever it's all over. yeah. That's what I'd see there's nothing like it is. I grew few people garbage in the earth is dying. Yeah, it's just sake. I you know it's India, it every turn is just like you forget about it for a second, like you can have like those moments of solace with yourself here and then you know just at the airport, the mad ones in a mask which I'm for sure, like on a germ level on people are a gross level later. How are your fears, but it does its it's it's a harbinger ethic. It it'll it sure o man, it doesn't look good on open tier. It's an omen for a second for now is that it's not assign. This is how it's gonna be here right here, but
but it was, it was weird you know like. I want you and then like I'm, like a guy. I know this is because you do what I do kind of you not in a bad way. You know, there's only a couple of guys to talk about themselves that thoroughly and think the world that sort engaging angrily and cynically. So I just related to where you're coming from your, because I can see how you bill to yourself. Yeah sure you can see to it that the way I would put it is lake. If we were videos, adblock plus we'd, be on the same law, yet the other one. Then no one rent The wired small colt wall here aggravated jus, comics, yeah right, Jeff's pixie. I had if the aggregate brooding guy did you do find. You feel yourself getting territorial when someone comes along and either echoes some of the same,
themes or same you know impetus. We are firm for what you're doing you look as odyssey. You you ve been around longer than I have an error. I I can late at night, you know I haven't been around as long, but I've been around long enough for another. Generally, Sure do exist right underneath equally, according to chronological sense, and so I think I can relate to the feeling of feeling lake in the realm of encroaching Terrier little threaten the island. Not not so much better or worse is just well. The thing is that there is only like a handful of people. They do what we do at any. Given time yeah. There's not a lot of people doing you know relatively progressive, cynical cultural com Terry Decent right and there aren't that many people whose heroes might be Hicks Stan hope her, you, whoever NEA Louie, whoever you know
moves you in that direction. Towards sort of angry revelation type of comedy that isn't at this point, there seems to be a lot of that going on in any kind of hackneyed hence in the anti woke crowd right but debit. That's different, Deanna, they're they're, taking in a different direction, and it's not it's it's really humanistic, even in a sort of it pixie in misanthropic way, sooner be taking some of the worst parts right of people were talking about weeding out there there, the weighted humanity right out the me no right levity without like the thing that makes it what it is. It is it's it's like in it in those types of coms, you're talking about the ones that inspired, you know, people like me and ass, an other kinds of people we are talking about. I think you know why they generated a kind of backlash. There has now it's
have been like reverse engineered, like where people are looking at. The linchpin of those comics like generated this kind of uproar and so peep, I feel, are seeking the uproar as a way to essentially validate themselves as that type of comic, but that's interesting by like ultimately, historically. What I think is that you know whose guys are you know India Doug still alive any. I think he's too really the only true proprietor of that envelope pushing business by you. Don't no one, It is a comic phenomena he's here the myth among us here he generate a very little uproar. He knew he had a hard time make a buck in this country. Surely you know from Letterman and write about lazily right backlash when we get what time it airing a real, very small jury is relatively speak sure, but I think what You're doing I what you're saying is probably true in that they drive shaft of
your fuck Uranus has been. Oh opted in misdirected? Well, yeah, I'm even even on the small scale means it doesn't matter when you're you're watching Hicks clip on you to be out of the crowd. Turning against him- and you see- I'm saying you know later had the right idea here is underachiever see that kind of acrimony existing between the audience. the fact that he was overlooked, makes people say. Okay, so I'm also neglect did by the mainstream rapidly one year ago. It's it's a badge bargaining tool but now and we're getting into the weeds. I just feel that you know aunt. I woke anger. as the new hack, a lot of on funny people can cop the disposition and then blame their lack of ability to get work on the fact that their just two bits, It's all promotional, its dick. I get that I get there, but it's it's. It's only gonna work with a small bunch of people, the ate promotional
I mean there's a bunch of secondary aunt. I woke do that are not going to get work unless your tea touring with the primary anti woke deeds. It's a gripped, while I'm I'm seeing that it serves a purpose in it and in its it seems to be fuelled by almost nihilism like. There is no belief, I think principle. I think that the at nihilism is being exploited by somewhat fashion stick forces did you to do it's bidding and that's the problem is when you see guys you ve known for twenty years, into this mindset around language that is just operating to to sort of fuel the fire of wrong minded bullshit on a tribal level, and why you know what they're calling their fans is really just this army a fuckin meet heads that are really comedy people, yet what it's like? Eight! Oh, if, if people are you know, I take it as a ticket in in in so I get mine. I guess I am not saying that but like to me- and this is the aim of this- is the way I don't know but like the after Trump its.
Just like okay, so having a lot of people support you or follow. You is meaningless, but you didn't, I mean you're, saying anything good or right or Coranto just means you can get through to them. He'll give you money and you and your net you satisfy some broken part of their fucked upness and an elevated you're speaking in a restaurant emotional level, without it being emotionally complex, allegory you yeah yeah, now David in a part of them, but the thing that is concerning his eye I've been doing this, but on stage about that about, like you on that these comics kid that you'll ever your say like right, fellows because uneven a what you guys do, not you guys who the fuck are you here? right fellows, he knows. You're tat, may you know you're doing something wrong right. Because meaning I got an idea to fight with. Hardly anybody. I get me how I can get things you know in common with some people, but I've sort of like fought, I have my own self and then that is what you're supposed to do right to actually be You think you're. So if we got into this racket
now to disregard. our thoughts, which I think is what you do you do that and that's. Why did I didn't get into this because I felt like I was an entertainer right. I got into this because I thought it was a a reasonable place for me to find myself and to figure out what the fuck My truth is you know, and how to be seen. Yes, yes, Stanhope was a language that I kind of just implicitly understood mean. I watch stand up and I was I think like this. You know that this is can how my brain works. I didn't know this was anything I thought this would just like weird isolating. Rumination and think that this ways that this had an outlet, and so there was something super liberating about. You know in people that spoke to me in that sense and in saying ok, this is a place where I can elect you're, saying iron out some of my use, your own territory or identity. Exactly and if I started to feel like I was being
You know embraced by, like I know, a guy, I Neer noise feels a little uncomfortable will yet because, like that's like that, something different in it it here, you attract what you are, so I imagine just from watching you stand up and look. I'm gonna fly with where you're coming from you in you know in terms of having yes, a parents philandering father what you know that kind of stuff I mean I had thereby may I have the hearing there, but we can get into that, but like that my point was: like that there is some sort of tribal, is aging going on and the right now there seems to be a fine line between your mainstreaming, a comedy, shows in rallies where I was into a four was due sorted, have a small audience, work that shit out and have a revelation each show for myself. for other people and to get somewhere. or even in between the showers majority, the bear. You do the sad and then you you're thinking that sometimes I can be no think most clear
the about act about debate about the material when I've Dinah version of it could its fresh in my mind. I am able to reply to my head. Almost lake sitting back to your room for my own shell, and so you can get you had a fresh in the adrenaline kicking you're going to walking around after this thinking about what lay at times the other clarity comes in air, where you know your son when you add, there's something that oh yes shifts in, but but like you say when you're talking about personal things, even if it's not literally personal tat, literally about your life, These things are clear. was to you. Those revelation that you have community can also be a personal. relations where they always is what I think- and this is how are you? Are you don't know how you think until you say it and then, like you, don't know where it's gonna go until goes, but but I You know that from what you're doing up there, we know you know you're, not looking for mainstream success and your sadly, you I'm further down the line than you sure you know with here are some of the things you are wrestling with and you know
not everybody is like us. So so that's going to be the weird kind of Yo Cross Roads is sort of like you have to accept the fact that people are laughing because like what the fuck is, this sure send right and then you're gonna have to accept the fact that you know how different we are. Then you start to accept the fact that, like I'm, sharing these emotional handicaps in an effort oh yeah figure out why I M, but also in an effort to be seen by like many people, I continue to do that, but, like there's, not simple about what you're doing right, but I'm doing and leave you and you ve decided that what do you do? Also something I've been wrestling with recently is. I think I used to be much more gung ho about the idea that I was working out, both personally and professionally and the same forum,
and something that I've come to in on thirty six year, so that you know that's not all right is the first time I've ever felt, not young yeah. You know that you're, not the young guy Radice other people around the fuck. You guys are. Where do I go to the lorry sat in your nose mischief the pandemic is like I'm two years older? But the lorry side is still twenty two year so like it's in there all got money. I dont know what date I have literally no idea what these people are operating right now. So there is like that is the first time I ever experienced that where there is a legitimate generation that your high school kids yeah that's right I'll get you saying I get letters you I'm a real grown up. He had eyes arguing standards. Fresh grownups render their young in my way they don't know you're at the anyway. So you know that this at this age I've started to enormously reflect on that in question. That, and I start to look at the people- and I talk about this in the special I talk about the people that I know
job too, and I see kind of like me, no common three small world user, get to know them on some lay our you're around them or you right of access to like they're off stage happening, driver in some of its national new. Yes in so it's like, I, like where the people have ended up life wise and I'm ok, so super spiralling onstage, like maybe not so, inspiring off stage? And I can I question how connected those two things are for yourself. or generally while much. How much of is it? How much are we locking ourselves into modality that prevents a certain type of acts It will growth because we can always if we need to remind it an articulated, beautifully and all that stuff for something that can be loud in sending highlighted by you know, but not necessarily gets a risk
with somebody like you or me that, like, if you don't know I mean, like you, seem to be doing. Ok right now will see how it all lands right depending on who you are how you handle it, it will become a stick or what if you don't let it and it seems that you're compelled to go beyond that. Like I watch a special, and you know you're very specific opinions other because unite You'll come coming from the same we'll house. In a way I paid a different type of attention to hear it. I could sense and dance, your questions I don't find it threatening, but but to finish a thought from earlier. I you know, I know, there's only a few of us to do this and so when it, when I see somebody doing it my there, Pardon me that sort of right now what the fuck is that but then I realized. I did it's not that easy path. There's not that many people to do it. So you're just hear him out, but but it is funny the the comparisons of he's like I know, I'm paying homage to sir
things that I've taken in as I've gotten you know through this life, like I know in the last special that I did and times fun that my yo giant closer. You know where my pants blows Jesus that That really is a very particular style right now, but it does it. It is a Tipp of the hat two hits. I know that structurally in and I do come from that. I did do that at some point, but I'm highly aware of it. I know what I'm watching you that you know when you. When you talk about, fell in the way you do that I watched you. Can we all talk about Leno Hicks did really extensive bid on Leno that was even more brutal than yours, but the same criticism of the same job by from guys is similar to criticise rebate is actually that that's a conscious, oh my stature for sure where it where it was something I rift. You know
I think I was in DC and it was kind of a fight. I never do voices or impressions any kind of others fun. I firmly when you do at once right in the like, you can kind of do it, but I We do it on an improv you really like in, but then sometimes with me avoids anyways like when I try to lock in its logic here we're gonna my god, you know it's not like I'm not doing a bang. I don't like money, you and I knew exactly so it was. It was fine, it was silly, I mean, like you know, who I was, I was essentially calling a sick offend. We Hicks this whole thing was the artistic roll call baby you're like Yahoo is, so you don't really goes, as the main weird thing is is like. That is that, if you can criticise that, but that's all of it right. So yeah, you know you're standing against this flood right this soon, army of Mainstream entertainment, you're, saying fuck you and no really gives a fuck that you say that accept three other fuck, you people, but ultimately you know you're good
did you find yourself having to navigate that world? Yet no right I mean you know. Even when I posted on Instagram that I was doing came over. All the comments were like will? What about foul energy? You know like this kind of stuff it's inside you're not exactly like, but also that there is a question of lake. You know. Ok, these are what I think this is like my actual thought. It so easy to throw stones from the outside, but I am also not trying to solve sabotage. I dont want to deny Marilla. Not I don't I don't think so I mean like- or at least I'm I'm, I'm I'm wrestling now. I see that because, like you know what you do the and the special about fragments- inadequate designer want to spoil that for anybody by because, like I think it seems that you know whether you intended to or not does you directed this thing and we should get. indeed some background with that stuff, but the thing like stuck with me, like. You know the one joke that I was concerned about this matter really, but I ended up yeah googling, the punchline. Then it took me to you know this
it took me, do jeez yet, which I imagine you ve read him or silly, nor many regime. I mean that the other the thing you're talking about. We could talk about it. If you want to try, can a gray eyes? What's a weird me, like I thought, like there's a couple bits in there I thought, like? Did you rush this our like it you pulling back from like because I know you didn't our recently right, not too long ago, twenty eighteen, a while got you don't know what kind of screen either I took basically year off in mean? Oh yeah, I just like you know it's like our working. Do a titanic joke or by but it was only because, like I liked the job, but it was something sounded dino familiar. So I went on this well yeah that'll, yet the only adding a line you're talking about is is, is the diaspora is it the idea and the medical use fancies. I just gotta was Abe mark my want to talk about this, and so I was looking at all interesting. Someone has the same take and then my second to realise that they like. Maybe there was a you know. I don't have it
a shady accusatory kind of now I say gummy though defensive, etc. Like you know I know you're not shy on that front, so I've been, I wanted. I don't want to enter into a trial, what that's, what I thought the and when he came in and we really need to get into it- and I have had that experience where you know whatever you fill your head with, you know, It is exciting when you know somebody who's a great thinker. You know you have the same thought. It's always exciting. sharing I Andy and why there is a lot of things out there in the ether, and that thing is not a tremendous. Like is not that you.
I could see how somebody else our enemy awesome thing to share your budget. The initial I'm in this specific are mine. Bulgaria, to underline premise of like the this relationship. Winded were doomed yea. I think that is a lot. You need to know Hegel here, that's and get that you are. I don't need no Hegel, yeah yeah, it's just one year. I have never tried. I can't I can't do him. I've tried, but I can't I can't there's most of the heavy hitter philosophers just to dance for me, I guess all language. Do that don't understand ray. I think I think you have to let go to school, for that intelligent regulation and have known Chomsky call unity it because he's like it's made up I will not. I was minded philosophies made up, he's like they want to sound like scientists, but are not there yet now it's all things like our AIDS philosophy. It isn't a left. This is the right, Philately philosophy. Psychology, theology metaphysics it s, sort of like an attempt at understanding, yeah I am in math or different no abroad.
I think there is an interesting thing to say about that, especially when you're coming in so doing comedy from a position of sharing point of view and daring perspective, an insight and not just making. You know an observation of a button, frightened urban, actually Ericsson, rumination, some thinking right about. What's going on, you're gonna, there's going to be overlap you know, and I would say I put out four hours of Mitch. real total. He I have through albums and special, but I'm just saying the n n My second one, there was one line that I did that body to this day, because it has that kind of overlap with with a stand, hope line, and it's like. I don't need it. I ain't knee. I didn't see it and say it. I said it relates respect, although that similar try to change it, try to manipulate it, couldn't do it recorded it, and that is what it is known.
How'd. You know I mean people, people have, I mean you know a Youtube commentator there, but I think I've come to terms with that. I'm, like you, know what I give it if its it took me years to come to terms with some like if you pay a four hours of stuff in there's two lines we're talking about, because the entirety of the whole thing that's like similar to a permanent you well up to or that you that you have ingested. Ok right than that to me scan still, you have to let it go but but see that's what I was talking about when you know, in terms of my reaction to use, there's always a handful of dude that We know that we're you're not going to compare yourself against brain region right right so like to do that. You're gonna be worried about their story of apparently one of them is a slovenian philosopher. Yes, well, that's true. How am I to Carmody has come. No use should be flattered. Like I bet I was on the verge of accuse you of stealing from Jack
I mean it's just like that. That that just makes me laugh is a concept is like. How can you? How can you do I review of someone who is not making jokes where you can Finally, I should like to assure you should, of course not said that was a premise, its supremacy em. What I'm willing to indulge is that it's not that big of a stretch of a premise right. N n. I don't think I would the irony of enemies there's an idle tag to that bit about how a revolutionary road is essentially did the retinas rights, the role that it has become a relationship, and I had seen that on a blog and sounds like a really now. May I somebody Medica yeah side I get at it. So that's that's how I am not looking too nice score on anything that I know. I know we in if you're a smart guy and you're trying to figure self. Are you trying to figure the world now you're trying to build your point of view and you want to read smart people you're going to fill your head would stuff This way, cows and a lot of that sort,
in France is the way you think I you know. I know that there are Dr Schaff set of even been very useful to me over time. For that were necessarily mind, but eventually you build your own in a devolved yeah exactly I'm, I'm I'm willing to concede all of that shit. I think that that is any kind of natural and even an acknowledgement of the function of art and modality Azure, so both You are from Chicago suburbs, what's which suffer, several called dear field derailed. You know it Why is that? The jewish part? There is no there's a few jewish parts, Highland partners. Iranian park is jewish forest Nazi Jewish here Buffalo grow. Pretty jewish as that area, whenever yeah yeah, because I'm and I have some close friends- are like family friends or by, but you whoever you just you and your brother. A younger brother and then are to parents, and they? they got there, split when I was twelve her brothers. Nine are really and yeah then, but they both live,
They both have an area yandah. They don't talk to each other. Do you talk to both of them no not currently, I dont know either the here's. The thing I why here today, I really want to go here. But I dont know how come too. I am putting this blast, but why like if we just relieve it around the stuff that you discuss publicly. Ok, so right but like what your father do when you're gonna his attorney area, of whose I wager and any Andy and your mom does what She was an art teacher, ha ha, but she's retired, where she ever artists, sheep. paints, a painter tissue paints, you put cheek, she got back into it. She was married to guy nobody liked, literally nobody like not like he had no, not just you know, it was certainly not me, but like
none of my mom's family like there is not a single fan. And so it was kind of another you and they got married yeah yeah agree when they got married, the twenty five I was twenty, so you're grown person, and that we are how scorn enough for him did scream of the strengthened guy that's, not even the original gown. I hear my opposite neighbor. I don't mind there still together, no They got divorced when I was my parents are both twice divorce, each other's first sticky. Try and I have re- I well yes, and so where is somewhat my point was that when my mom is married to this guy with a kind of like this SAM Stockholm, they are in all right. They did the same to me that it was bad other, the fact that he was this, this guy
ways she was. She wasn't painting anymore and she wasn't doing anything for ourselves just doing anything. Creative and creative fino, free thinking, person, media are free, blowing precisely at an end- and I have mentioned- was I came here- you know this is this? Is not good you? Don't you doing it? I got you this canvas to paint on two years ago. Your birthday even touched it's in your fuckin attic here, like it said it this This is clear from EU in. She was so moved by the conversation that enough essentially initiated that kind proceedings made. They end up getting divorce, and so are you kind of you woke up while yet irony is the first, the first divorce. It's not your fault, the second one though it is that if you making the case this time. I'm I'm on team. Do this not trying to keep this together. This is a different thing, so you talk about this. This hearing things seem to be the correct
of the neglect, oh, you know it's funny how painfully obvious, and also how long it took me to discover that it is like I you know it's always been something I've known about has been conscious. You were born with it. I think three years old when, but I think they don't know peering, ear, infections and shit, maybe it's. It's like hair, followed the follicles her dead. It's not like the Normans ever give me a clear answer on and have always been like what will happen next, I could be imperative things die of your promise. Now the configured up like tonight is sort of her. I don't know like sure problems. It feels like, like a station to stuff like in my left here like it gets like. I feel rumble when I hear things like it sounds like a broken speaker, but pressures, find the dramas, fine, ok,
I don't know, I'm not, I'm not not an actor. I was U unresolved. Yogi are without I believe yesterday, yet through so both the belgian authorities are more than I can, but I was now I you to work when I was a kid you have one of those things they have. My dad did the lens one of the little light, yet I would say that Little Carnegie area, but failing that they haven't there's all sides of attachment to those to the light the guy I've seen among the three years old yeah and I was prescribe hearing aids adding then nor maybe when I was five and in the way my parents tell a story like I just didn't, want him and I've kind always accepted that narrative is just what it was like a lawyer and you were exactly so so but like it, but it's coming you're talking about you, dont internalize that were a kind of independence until you actually establishing later in life, and then you can. You can have liked retroactively, go back and apply
it might like self identity that you that you come too in Europe. Thirty or forty Maria is, and then you have to Essentially, we know that transcribe it to your past and its very jarring thing. I do think that one of the hardest things about coming to terms with yourself with who you are and what you ve gone through, is that you have two x acknowledged the fact that this kid that you were its on different kid: it's! U expiring, Instead that way because when you're going through it there's all sorts of your ear, your cultivating all sorts of defence is to prevent yourself acknowledging that this is happening right, whether its anger, or or dissociation, wherever it s, and then, if you if you are trying to reconnect with yourself, you have to go back and look at yourself. As that kid and say note here, going to that it wasn't this other thing that he had imagined. It was this. It was neglect. It was
isolation. It was pain, it was. It was agony, it's horrible. I too really that the it's almost like this weird, almost narcissistic empathy experiment where you know you? I have to place myself into myself as a I've you're older a six year old young in these points of trauma and experience that feeling of weird of horrible pain and lack of north and south and on our semi self involve may be self woman, but even the there's, like a judgment attached to that, and I'm not trying to be me all new age you about it, but later yet self involves meaning lake and illiteracy I'll get lab at the hour, but it is an experiment in time travel. It is yes through Ok, you dont. Do it itself centre self aware, but it is a an attempt to ask of you're you're hard for
the younger party yourself that felt it being broken yeah, I know I mean in in, and you know think like connecting with yourself or exploring yourself, is inherently. You know self involved or self in autumn I decided I spend it. I only meant narcissism in that that you're, literally looking at a reflection of yourself based on what you think you are going through at that time, I wasn't using a new clinical sense, and then I was using it just in this like the exercise, sundays less than our stillness, although there you know only that you sad kid Reginald Morton back into beyond, whenever it is no write, a book but like, but even even make it was very easy for me to categorize. My childhood is sad, but, as is of much differ, much more local phenomenon to act like feel that right. Right like myself, not like, we know what that sadness feels like did you do it? a lot of them
therapy really yeah. You know I was going to. I was seeing a therapist regularly emissary going twice it. We, however, currently one too service. I started when I was thirteen or really here within these can on and off after the divorce. Right after the outbreak of psychotherapy L, a thousand one of the bedding ideas. You're, probably right. There Europeans like now, you need therapy. I buy yeah. No, I but bedroom, I would say only recently have I fully committed to it the last few years where I was going regularly in an aid up to twice a week and in my therapist recommended during a four times a week you know is essentially cycle analysis old, school yeah. It's just also, so it's interesting and may happen a recovery that was kind of a revelation, because at a hearing thing I can't do the whole sit on the couch while a therapist behind you cause. I can't it see you and is different. Headphones on me now, but I can't see your mouth it's very hard for me to hear you say we experiences earlier in and try to tell me which way to go.
No, I couldn't you you're saying so she's behind me. I can't hear it. She sang arm stressed out when you I've hearing AIDS. Now I do I do, but it still, it denies perfect row therein their deep yeah third idea, the new kind. they do? Have you done research, others now know that their new Asian they came out and make two thousand and eight, and I was pretty early doctor. I was by far the youngest personally like I would go to them. No the ideologists me in people. They can't hold their heads up, it, Riley gets it. Was it like I'm a miracle. I am Wade with a different kind before may be a case of more of a gradual slope up but you I mean I couldn't get by. I couldn't do this. I can't do anything without em I couldn't have lunch with friendly out is not even like. I could like I could do it wouldn't be so fucking stressful and I would be
working so hard, but you never learned. You know you never had to sign or new any now, because I was I kind of straddled worlds like I faked it dude I like I, I didn't wear hearing east. I was in my early twenty six, twenty twenty one really yet so you fainted from who said your fit pair. I don't know that's the thing I just did it actually just it. I didn't want to acknowledge right whenever that meant, and I was never, you know four their encouraged over me. I encourage that. You know they suggested that they were willing to do it, but it was really up to me, which I don't think it should have been, but it was never there's no programmes. I was never like that. You know linked with any sort of social. We are too like specialise in this stop or speech pathologists. Anything like that, I think part but the problem lies in this. Isn't even me like petty myself in the back, I think, like excelled in payment everything that I did just on aim like you know,
material level. The act like my grades were always AIDS and I was like a bye bye play baseball and I was gonna baseball and I think if I was getting like apps, maybe like what the fuck is going on in that we have to diagnose something, but you sort of like you double engaged here to compensate. Probably in way out here. You know it's so funny to now think about what I was doing, because at the time of second nature, I did think this was anything here. This is why you know I would have to sell you wanted to be at least normal. I did. I do gonna be at. That is a very hard thing to say and think they say it's actually true, like it's hard in the sensitive emotional I very Babbage idea. I didn't want to be different and eyed, and I didn't want to be a burden right. You know like, like even saying like we're in a what like asking people to repeat what they said. I would feel like this in May.
This on my mind, the other resisted resentment toward me for making them repeat what you just fucking said right, and so I didn't want to do that, and so I would fake it. I would act as if I heard it I would so we can. You were constantly projecting what you thought. People are thinking about you like it. I like you. Yeah I'm annoying, if I say white knight, yeah, yeah yeah in any way, because I never talked about it until maybe I was eighteen was on time, so people didn't know we're so like if I said what they thought I was either struggling and I'm not paying attention they would get annoyed under on those grounds. But, like you know nobody, My friends are like true: assholes grow if they knew, and certainly as we ve got an older, they they did, they look out for me in that way, you know which him appreciative of but yeah you it was. That is a major source of all this shit, like that, whenever the level of disconnect and the fire, with myself and just even like this kind of
unfortunate irony of lake craving solitude and also hating it right cause like I. I wanted to get away from people because they stress me out. I had to be working ten times as hard to try to answer What was going on inside each one the fuck away. I thought I thought relax round was at home alone, watching tv playing video games look at porn. the internet where the fuck it wiser or even in my room, just like talking mice, the because you know, I think, I'd better if citizens state before, but you never mishear yourself, Theo, you over your inner monologue, says something you never like grim reality. The problem is when you have to go it alone. Will you may I hear you You can. You can t even get a bunch of a bunch of voice air bite, but I I crave that kind of solitude dispute just Gimme, some relief from the stress that came with being with people, but then the same time.
Attitude is incredibly hard for me because I also crave connection. Well, that's what that's like is the perfect recipe for stand up. cause. You got yourself, you decide what being said. people here you write any- have conferred control over that thing right right, which, which I think is, but why I struggle with the sword. unilateral nature of it, because I'm looking for connection here- and this is the closest I have come to it, but I think I realise that it isn't. What I need it to be sure in and bay, but I think that what happens in what will happen as you get older, is that you MIKE some more joy out of it, if, if you figure out how to gauged that part of your vulnerability, in and that certainly is you know what I what to do and then also but also off stage and find a way. You supplement not supplement big but get the connection,
in light of allowing them to stand up, can be more obey. You know extracurricular exploration of this thing, rather than making a need by a need and also share with people as opposed to try to get something from it are not limited to The range of your emotional perception at this time like if you, out more and you build a life for your life becomes bigger or you let go. some things, then you might it bring that onstage and it broadens your perspire, a million per cent per cent. I think that the posture of of in a look at me versus I want to share this with you. Yes, be potentially game. Changer! That's like me, something that I'm you waited for. I'm challenge myself to do you know like that's. You know because obviously I dont think come of the even when it wants to watch an artist, no matter what kind musician filmmaker Comic repeat himself.
impersonate themselves, I think like if there's no growth happening right, you know then know ethics The point I may I guess I do acknowledge. I feel very lucky that I didn't stressing, during that time, in terms of renewable energy, are to say something in Finnish about therapy and uncovered oh yeah the happy action of that ways, because I can't do that. You know psychoanalysis, that kind of classic couch therapists behind the character of the purpose of that is that you can kind of free associate stream of consciousness, not burden, I, the visual stimulation of the therapist reaction, dear you're, looking into the ether closing arise where you're doing I cant do that, but over the phone throne headphones all said no can, and so it was weird thing where I started doing therapy. No, you over the phone right put on the headphones light out of my own college. I closed my eyes ears, like this. A completely different thing, hop in talking to someone who is in a chair and I felt come like so liberated by it and then
repetitions four times a week. You don't ever group money through Thursday, basically every day so like in Blake do it and nearly all jesus- and you don't have any time to recover its back to back then Ba Rivulets Ike, I will get, is a huge next morning make up. Eighty four can do that again right. You, like already reeling from the thing before and that's the purposes. It keeps you open and you're not able insipid back up in and have to undo it for forty five minutes. Once a week we had the backup Sonia there is exhausting, I guess, truly urgent, exhausting, and so I but I found through that, I was able to tap into some things that that failed knew how good that's good near, and so ok see you do well in school and then were eager to college. I went to the University of Illinois Fer a couple of years. I engineering, major, really Gaza good, like math and science yeah yeah in Twenty went back home that years ago, digging through old stuff
and I was deciding I showed you know, should I stay in school, I kind of like Comedy Asia re above I was looking for some kind of science found like some old certificate in my life, You know my drawer beyond when I was a kid and I found this certificate to some test. I took a high school at the standardized. You know not not Bessie TB like something like that. some assessment thing and it was like you excelled in math science and writing, unlike MRS, not fuckin helpful, but one. was. It was just like it was just like which we always are, so am I better at wine? Should I found something it's like while you you could do either these? If you want even finish now dropped out a couple of times. Rough, go in college, I mean what the fuck are you doing to call this api classes in high school, and so I was a sophomore when you went to college like act. Emily and like I was I didn't Personally, I can hear anybody. I was so long us and scientist I gotta class. I played Madden got time. They discovered weed,
that kind of it but do I've been slowly. I feel myself up got debate in school. By my first semester junior year, I got all and then I dropped out here and I went back. dropped out again that moves back home. Two has taken classes at my dear field Youse there and I was there. I was working at the Cheesecake factory doing open my ex, and I was doing I was. I was in school up there at university bono Chicago here and then It was too much. I like these three things. I can't do it Cornwallis cake. de Cheesecake Comedy already ends in class. He had the three cs and, and yeah. I saw you gotta pick two insulting. I cannot work outside Europe has closed last time and then she started doing my ex and move the city than I was kind of nice are hearing AIDS, and that was like come when this part, my lifestyle, and so one was at twenty to an eight really here now,
like who do you see as your generation guys guys I've I've never seen you before? I don't know why, but you ended up with your a wee wee wee wee wee. We ve seen each other, like I did a guess spot for you. I want to say ten years ago it s Lymington, Indiana however, that room yes good room judge if Jared wanted view to see me and I, Thank you. I think I remember what you said. You said I think, watch me and then you, like you, went back into green room, your somebody's listening. Or something like that, and I think I saw you in Chicago Nissan, the main stagers Royce. Pretty funny man says. Yes, somebody asked you a question that I was awesome. This woman shouted out physical when do you can enjoy your success? That's
I had hackle there's no quick for that. It there's no way. I like your river, the heck over, not my response. I think you hide it just by thank you kindly guy I am trying to. I am the architect out both say that young man, you had a haymakers la course, not another haymakers or anything in there there in there now yeah. I guess so, but it is usually depends on the moment, like I can't think of like I don't have like a list of things that I know use or uses retorts. I a crowd work? So much do you hate? It I absolutely hated. I don't like it because, like if you really like for someone like me, I do like to communicate and I can get and over the years I've gotten pretty open. Yes, I like dirt a moment or am I sure, get me real? Let's get off of it. You know what what do you want to engage with bullets? Do it the problem with it is like that tone. We'll conversational me, which is funny you're going.
back into the acts yeah right, then you kind of fighting, but yourself? you have you have real good groundwork. Is you can't go back by its age is a different thing. It's it's a joke where everyone is living, the premise and night you to pull some other thing. I sort of thing about this, second, that everyone living in the primary law here, just adding the punchline of what I do when I do it as I go like ok, we go back to the act. We just go back, you write living there. Can I just. Can I like that I put the needle back I'd rather have the prepared stuff be a very good, the different, it's different data. Given five, I don't mind it though I just feel like the thing. The second excite a crowd in crowd worthier are often done yea. Well, it's just like doesn't take a lot, it a specific thing and so excited that you're in the moment you, then you know what you can say and I often we'll just not say
like this, I know what we knock seeing eye on it. We know middling whenever lake, when I'm S coming up in each gotta, get survive. Like oh yeah. They would laugh at the dumbest fuckin thing. I am because it happened here. I'm not seeing there dumb for laughing your witnessing something is ever gonna happen or just eat. its exciting make. They don't know that they know that you dont know, and then you airline, you watch crowd, were comics like there's a couple around does do this at least He presented as you crowd. Work is a fake Why did you play like this? It s like you were already pretending, MRS off the cuff, and we know it's not in doing like an art form copper that that is claiming to be like no really off the cuff. That's also fake. I like doing like you, I just like talking sometimes why so many of my fans are used to so many different facets of me that I have the freedom to do it like if they really engage me with a question like? like how are your cat, sir? Did you get that thing
looked out on your head, but I would urge and has to be the case it is. Every single person coming to see has listened to. You talk more than they ve listened. He dismay be like I get like there's all different places. They come from now from light the glow some people, I don't know anything about the pod gas share shared. You know like a like. I never know when someone goes. I really like you show MIKE was which one right right. You can't be that guy, I know, but you are you're the guy and there the classic joke the guy at the bar yea. Surely Jaguar, how do you know that joke I beheld? What's your version? Oh Baker comic does chosen unfair for young. My writing. Saturday goes debar next, yours, girls. I go you you set out to hitting on em so funny, which, we share your earlier this year,
That's like that, but that's it is. This is the slightly more successful version of that, like your show, did a tv or the great I met Miss specially always want to get away from the sort of Acta that Ray? It's like you shouldn't like that area you gotta was in the other thing is: is this this episode of this day? I've become very gracious years, have gone by you know, like I feel like. I don't take their experience away from him. I Billy whenever you ve done well, we adopt. I have like what are you but I ll see what do you want? The other happy hired in Canada here, the garden liquidity known? I can't even say what do you want? I have no idea what to do with that. I'm fine! I you know, I really am you know. Their happiness element is Utah or even really dress like I've addressed happiness. He addressed Love Vigo, who do a deeper source in the special envoy. What is love really
yeah, I'm okay man. You know I'm okay, I see there's a lot of things that you don't seek resolution. You know I don't know you know where I stand in. You know in moving forward with relationships- and I don't know, but I have made conscious efforts now too do things that I've always wanted to do without fear. You know, let's go, and your tried to enjoy things in an end at least acknowledge. You know what I do: who enjoy an end. Allow it as opposed to just be compulsive about behaviour. Would you feel if you did you find out that compulsion influences the relationship? Outcomes is well like the compulsion could be doesn't have to be. An elegant at a behaviour can be a motive thought sure like be like. It's really comfortable, sometimes for me to attach myself to a more a fantasy or type of dynamic, that's exciting, but obviously has no legs and obviously doomed the odyssey only gonna end nothing or hurt me or heard them or it'll. Take it, but there something that I
Compulsively will follow about that because its it speaks to me so guy. He ever you started no better and I am getting appropriate as someone again year. You I didn't know I powder we have that kind of stuff waking committees. Can you make that mistake by you, because, like as you get older to your more so than not you not isn't you're, not gonna walk away from it. sometimes if you're lucky and the other persons com Also two and there can. I now was that now, but we're good, like away kind of free, but you depending on someone else's expectation. You know someone's of you get hurt and terrible you. How many times can you Barbara committees can hurt people how my diving, I don't want to do an idea that I don't want to break up every get like I don't wanna. Do it, because it's never. I am never. I ve never broken up with someone and it's been like one of those like yeah. You know me seashell around its use in our society are like it's like you could not err, yeah yeah. No, I don't. I don't want that in an animal,
blaming anyone saying like I don't want to get involved in something that has a type of tenor where those mistakes I know but like ie, but we're not normal on that same were broken. But emotionally, when you talk about wiring with your heart is working for what you come from, then you can in the troubled last. But that's the compulsion is too is to give in to that or to say too maybe take a step back from the euro. Wait a minute! Ok, I have this. I idea of gaining a New York, for example, aware that my friends of mine that phrase amended our debt are single, I would have liked the family friends, you know the pillow area, their marriage are having their second kids. There's this my world showbiz single, unlike regular people, we're doing the whole thing ice. Good for you to have friends I don't get it a little side note, the friends of mine that have kids seeing them raise children has been. An instrumental in me
realising the deprivation I experienced as a child comic. Oh I've never seen this. having amidst do different variations over there, not all the same, but like they're, already loving the relationships are, for the most part, very good like they belong together. They are about each other. They respect each other. Here, there's a lot of independence in the sense that likely they don't need anything from their children, their able chew facility, They are able to be. They are able to facilitate their children's yes coming into themselves, yet without intruding or neglecting bright and or feeling like they're fucking up some yet or or setting of a dynamic where the kid is meant to like make the parent feel better about themselves. The intended yeah yeah yeah you're, just a your parents, and it's a narcissist that Narcissus parents just make you an arm like a date. They can't need you to make them feel good about themselves. So I see that in its been pretty instrumental in me, you know as it is by myself that the special is dedicated to it at the very last card is dedicated to the letter
different names in those are my friends. It says here are my friends in one of my sea area, because they, I feel like they have true it shows me, like you know what it could have been or what what it should be a source of our That, though, is a slight say no, but the single, show busy art seen France New here. There is this kind of thing where we're all like fucked up in a similar way, especially me, no actors, comics musician directors, performers people need to be YO case in some kind of way. I do think it. Please from you, know that, release. It goes hand in hand with this idea of, like longing, for someone to to reach back or something like that or chasing the thing that is unavailing both on and so forth, and so do I
had this image. My might have data in a Europe which is like everyone is, is chasing after someone who's chasing after someone else who chasing after someone else- and it just goes on like that, this kind of recourse, if loop of people reaching out for someone who doesn't given the time day- and I was asked what, if we all just turned around and There's this person is reaching for you who is over a laborious, make a hard there's, no fucking games. There's no, oh, are they gonna text back? They just do it and it's an end and they I keep on merit not because you're anyone, but because they get to know you and it's like That feels so fundamentally different from what I'm? U still sure, but data like that. That's it's romantic and I like it You know about White Meares, their where's the floor, no fly wanting that bite but, like my experience, has been you have to then be comfortable with that other thing not being satisfied and in what that's gonna do? What does that? Do
yeah, but I know I do I do wonder like can. Can we have this, but then also, let me just gimme like three days out of the month. Asked questions, there are going to be you and you dealt with austerity is be summit. Here's the thing you know once you really wrap your brain around honest self acceptance. You know get your needs in order. You can ask for whatever the fuck you want We are in a new world, and maybe you can get it but, like you know, if you're contrary second guessing or sulphur, have that a voice in your head. You're gonna make all these assumptions your moral judgments are your judgments about yourself in relation to them. What their thinking that there is no way you can be like Moloch, I'm gonna fuck someone else once a month what're you gonna do, after a certain age, if you got no kids and no real responsibilities, you know o anybody anything. What does it hurt db that honest to see? If you can do it,
ripened into east. Is there something alienating about that of putting up but wait, but the thing is that it may be alienating, but but maybe not I mean but like if you're really talking about like sustaining something with somebody that, fuck knows eyes? No right, then, I'm so fuckin in secure on some level that I'm just gonna do their thinking for them to do their judging me for them, and I'm gonna judge myself more than half the conversations I mean with them are making up. You know I can now I'll just re the middle ground, something that I'm having in my head with them in their equity. Talking like oh yeah right you don't you know what you did. You know he exhibited. That's exactly. You would think the exact yet. So what once you get that out of the way are they in really own yourself. Think look like I. This is where once you like really are. You can be honest. What is often self excepting and you nothing to lose by being honest with the people you want to be involved with. Then there is this freedom and that, but it takes a lot to get their right yeah. I also want to make sure that my honesty isn't chests randomized.
yeah. What exactly not just me like reprocessing Ino impulse as honesty is like this is enough, goes back, would only an impulse well, just evidence of no like you know, like ye, I wanna fuck someone or something like that impulse and so to be like wild. That's just me, I gotta do it like what type of that. Maybe that was a bad example fine, whenever days or use a good example Romany shut down. While his example, like you know, like I've, been kindly I've. I've I've had a rough gulf, yoga Mcgovern died a year and a half ago, and it was the beginning of something great and it didn't happen cause she got sick and died. And I've never really had a very good relationships. You know in my whole life and they give to marriage, is none of them. Work out now out now, there's a monster in a lot of them for probably the same reasons, even a monster insecure. yelling whatever jealous when I love her victim amongst our I've, been amongst yeah I've started project no, it's a good territory sure bite.
You are right now, like I know where a map and I've seen something horrible, and I felt you know like ever want to break up with anybody again either in essence, he dies or whatever that's horrible, it's horrible. So but like now in this situation them and now, where it sort of like, I don't know what I've got in me and I don't know if I can handle this or that, but like ie, this is where a man you know I am your heart broken. I'm very wary of bring forward with something profound we intimate, but I want hang out right right away to sweep over ever read these out. Ok, what you yeah it's the arrangements made ever Jason Ismail Line heart her, like a rebuild part, economic, its gallop, shirt like, but you know if like, if I'm trying to honour myself and outside of the icon and evoke somebody like you know not the testing thing, but just sort of this is what I can handle, and you know you're, ok with it, we can move forward if you're, not. I can't do it, but you could also need just time to hear I already dramatic thing, a terrible, but you you still want to: u have company.
Do stature that level it's like this involves is getting teaching me stating what you're capable of that is is honesty is right. This is what I have room for right and you know odyssey because you're not ready for the east. Just because one isn't ready for sure thing penalty doesn't mean that they can interact with people. I think that's a good place to start with what what we're talking about right sure Ok, so there's it, but but there's a difference between capacity, emotional capacity, air time or Vieira and lake unpleasant kind of you, snake instincts that you might have just to do. You know like, for example, if you're in think is too finish them up in an argument like that, can't be honesty, no knoweth, like you. That's why I meant by replacing impure is honest, and one thing I know about being annihilated. You know emotionally and mentally with with reality. Is that
like a lot of that acting out bullshit the stuff. You do instinctively too avoid whatever you know, you're shall write you exactly eggs, a ina that that's tough starts to tire out I agree and in this kind of dovetails in mind, into some of the summer time somebody I ask a lot of impulse is being branded his honesty in comedy, where it's like sure acting out lion in working on its violence and being like will. This is like, like I think, it's a dream like odyssey, doesn't mean literally saying everything you think it. Every time, that's not honesty to me because, like duchess, flight because, like someone once said to me that a meeting was genius cause, I told my leg I said shared something about telling somebody something that I thought I was really work and good programmes for those being so honesty, and this guy comes, I think I don't know he's honesty is a weapon. don't you answer? You said reality, I dont weapon eyes it, but that's real! Then
yeah. I know it is it's like I'm. Sorry absolutely cannot as yet in its priorities and honest like like adding that's kind of when I start to talk about is well, yes, are to think about here, which is like this idea of honesty as saying what you think verses addressing how you feel those are two different kinds of honesty. Editing one is much harder and truer right on the other. One is like because I actually stifling yet like like if you said something to me, it made me upset defensive and I said something about you. That was technically true qualms me, I'm just being honest, but what would be, I think, More honesty is like I'm feeling hurt, what you just said, Anne that's cool and that's you know, but that is the honesty. I know it's interesting about doing this kind of comedy that you do, or that I do is that yes, So much of it is, is you know? That's that's. What's under the surface of it is
you're talking like lately, I've been having this experience right, no, the tone and talking in and the think tank where it like laughing, but it was so close to cry. Oh yeah and and you know I and I don't mind it, but I'm wondering like will should I just be is ok, it's is this like what is it me like, so much of that? posturing is really about which come with someone. Just love me would somebody I defy you love the word. The defying is the kind of that's the that's. What's you know, driving away, I opened it, but it but emotionally you know it's just a cry for help was so it's funny because, like I used to do, shows and thereby people would come up after me. Your message me about her Seneca. I wanna give you I'm gonna, give you hung out. I would like with like other gods. They don't get it now. You don't get it known as they get it. The guy got it more than the people who were like laughing at an inn and saying like our so funny, and is this real, like those people wearing a hug, you may get it because it
aid there their view. Looking up the tenor you're talking about that yeah, that's sack rates, I don't know, I think I own, I know it make We feel very vulnerable, not intentionally, whereas I wish I could just use We that act as a those two exude they act, but that's the vote things that you have control over it is it is it? Is it despite your efforts to control it to dictate the terms there are getting something that you can't control, and that is on her ability nor you know that by bootleggers. Why not be in that way? I know I get the leaking. I think you said that the special by the bite, but why not not leak, will not just be in. it. Why be the vessel, then that's just trying to control the leak again. You mean, and I try to get you abstract, but like it, will you The league is inherent in. The vulnerability. Is like use is you'd Europe's in order
be vulnerable. You have to be willing to be communicating something that you may not be aware: you're communicating nobody but yeah, but I mean but you're, not when you get. What you are communicating is this. This attempt at hiding your vulnerability. because if somebody's right, if have the audience, is laughing and then three people, like you, ok, you're, saying why not just forget the facade and yeah, I'm not ok, but that's kind of idea. Kind of you know tat. I am more complicated than that or at least point you what that would and be, and I think that like it is talk because you are trying to put our show that you you're not you're, not a you, know a lunatic, but there's a label that provide shows you there's like there are people in our business who do it because they love the love right and those kind of people who go up there and sing a song Doolittle Day. Hence or Georgia's embrace something
a beautiful and nonsensical their living in it and their very entertaining and people leave going like that when so fine right, yeah. But who knows what the mechanics of the Uk Uremic out, who know arrow and makes them tick, and I don't either they could get back staging like you know, jerk off into a company, throw it against the wall and drink afghan booze. I not probably know right there. I I've I've known people like now do where it's just like less etc. Messages like oh, this is in. There is no one to put that anywhere else so when like, who's your gear, you guys that you came up with do I know you come on you're, the one behind PETE Homes and Hannibal, and that could come out. Animal was therefore like a year when I start, we overlap for a little bit of time that he moved to New York alive, the people bets telling you came up with me in Chicago yeah.
turns out here right, she's, I hear Cameron Esposito. Is there how you and I'm trying to think of yeah? HU, I moved out, but what we want rooms did you come up and did you do mainstream rooms or most of those all at once? I helped start a room called commands. You should know Chicago Mihail exists. I mean I have. I was their place. Like the lodge or something like I did that we're gonna do everything, but I was never any one, but ever since I did say niece, oh yeah, so then you like would brings in New York. He just decide to go yet a ceiling in Chicago mean that you know I came up at a time where you know you're starting to get a little bit industry where the Montreal orbit come there in the jail, fell Chicago couple years and years at once, he was trying to pay attention. I think once the lecturer when, under which is April, twenty twenty ten, the laugh factory bought the space guided. It change every. They made a laugh factory and that kind of
within a little bit about commercial viability to Chicago in in both good, and I went there once it never work their team, weird, it's it. It is a means actually with weird it's it's it's different than the one at work and the left after yeah. We're? U store store guy, I'm pretty much all store. When I hear Alla time, yes waiting like I never felt like I in Chicago I did. I had some night. Some guys are we going to keep up with it. We came up together, a lot of them are still there, and so I never felt part of a crew. Did you you got your. Did you write it s an hour every year? I was at nothing it does anyone ever say. I was awesome, the other ones that were treated well or the ones are still there sure, always ever one year as it gives sick, not one year usually means without good. It will aim. Of course, this, like dirt yeah, I wrote for we can update. It was the year of the election twenty six in election year. for J and now here now I got me, before jokes on the entire season, just sat there being your
of upper no Ike. I kind of didn't know what you know we're dislike. It wasn't like a lifelong dream of mine. I didn't even apply. I get asked Dial rose by CHE and so I do Chicago nuts. No change junior knows we grow, burglaries, earner, Jersey and examined, but am It wasn't like their plight in play. Any did do, do you know, let me stay, your game, yeah, you know everyone dressed up. you're, not a sound like really ever dressed up on Saturday wearing a suit on tomorrow. Night wearing a suit of hanging on the seas me, the writers, rule moment, office years, yes out where when and where and now I am adamant risk a slob, but now so I can help. I gotta know, just some guy roses. Eczema this is in I'm not like giddy deplores. This stand has always been the thing. Yes, animal noise is or has been, that they and not something that is its own tenement common is so
right now that the pushes you'd like to have a draw more so than now just a freedom to do Do things kind of my own, I don't wanna be reliant on. Anyone bound have fantasies of fame. Or massive anything, but just it by nobody like yours like like like for me, like I have you I can sell some take. sound people. Now me that not enough I can I can sell out the VIC. yeah, maybe and Larry due to shows. But it's great that's exactly what I need to be, and I don't like the idea like this tour about to do. I'm like I want do rooms over eight hundred people protesters to feel almost non existent. I didn't have to change your tone. We have to change your timing. Yeah I do, I didn't arena wine say open for ease and it was like a felt like I was
felt like it was completely disconnected from purely waited for a wave of yesterday, I e from the back Celia what It's something you sorting like. I did that yeah exactly a Lenny you like well, these guys can do it because make a fucking fortune, oh sure a year is like eight doesn't go. I gotta I'm too hard on myself too. To be able to be like you know, I'm just gonna. Do this weird sort of stuff hold your version of me for this type of sir A fortunately that complaint, as you know, is based going to fall on deaf ears, knowledge offering me an arena. But you know I mean how Ebay but you, but you also like. I do think what you said to me earlier thing kind of chooses you and he gets true that the path to take like it
You didn't arena must be weird like why not I'm not going up of those oddball shows right now. I've never seen like if you like, Marvin Iron at the management regarding what is happening in the world than out where it was like is everyone. This now like is, is that's crazy? That's frightening! If that many pineau everyone now it's not very everyone's just to have no right right now is my kind of like inside disturbing projection. It was like every comedy show is going to be like a comic performing for people who are there the next night or ever will that sort of way out starts now that's right down, a whole world of Bringer shows was not around. I was at a younger no, I don't know any web was sober to answer. Questions to me, like I know, there's digital
I'm very project oriented like I think, internally from January soon get things done well, just like I have you know every hour, I've put out it's very much that structural economic building this hour had gotten more and more cohesive. As time has gone, I M, but do you feel do the our finally to film it. Then I think it is interesting in record it put out promoted, It's possible, moving disappear like I don't I'm not like personality, cholera, but do the yeah we work and get back to work so, like you know the next project, I have an idea for something is always a matter of just like anything that can help me facilitate the kinds of things I want to do. I don't to be in a marvel movie, ought only to be sure. You know the idea. I like you do a bit of the acting. If maybe I was up in its good because I, like you, know something was a geo, a dream of minded to act. A wise yeah, I'm hungry at some point. You, I studied a little bit theater, but it was always a comic
but you know when I was in college, I d, I did a little bit of it. I thought I could do it So, like you know, after I did my own show I kind of learned how D ye I failed. Wasn't your first kind of yeah, but I knew also knowing other comics had chosen the first couple season by Buell Chow, because you you're to be on. in that way will be you, but not you on cue line. That way, but like sort of challenging myself to do things actings tedious and it's not as satisfying because you a lot of waiting around me out or maybe a play is different, but but you know the last I've done it. I challenge myself and you know to see if I could bring thing? And yet it's interesting yet another outlet for sure you, d, music, too, we have enshrined- yeah I play but like he was really a kind of a solid anything, but now I'm gonna and now take it out Do you wanna take on their own? I just gotta work yeah, that's their own needs weird applicable your eyes together get five minutes. He says I gotta play the thing in the car you over there, he s throat. So what happened with those last special
oh that you have made you want to direct your own special this time so the last special was directed by Gerard Car, Michael yeah, and he and I were working pretty close to the time when we shot it MRS before Cove idiotic, without an audience that South caucasian yeah. It was like it was a combination, so that was that derives idea and, I was excited by the radical nature of it. My concern was that I was necessary know. How is gonna marry itself to content? You know, like I was too Thinking about how it would work a piece, and that kind of cohesion, never gonna. Those discussions never really happen, d out, which is kind of happened. and we shot it and got a lot of attention
press in what knight became a focal point of discussion and analyses in our little world. It is very people polarizing opinions about and some people have, as you know, regulations we were like this is a little worse fuckin. They have ever seen my life fuck. This book, but despite this guy and I don't mind people feeling that way about my stuff here, some of them, this guy, I stand in and am I go I can. I can live with that, but this did not. that special did not feel like you're, ok so she's, u always put on the comic people, started talking directors of a comedy special public five years ago. I know It's like I, my my leg, girlfriend directed my last, whose use director film direct, ok and you know there I'm, we may choices around thinks he's it's like everyone kind of comes upon the revelation that, like you, can't read, really reinvent the special that much there. There is
a notion to it that you like. What I realized in what she realizes that you know I'm best in an intimate situation, so she had to figure out how to shoot close, and and and get those type of shots were either through a crane you're actually going coming on stage. You know at certain points rate but what I knew is like I just don't want to see the audience. I want them to be there. Are you never cut away to them? Yet without that was a big move at a happened. You know they the reactionary to the nineties, where it was like all fuckin audience gonna lose them too to edit near yet, but I mean people on t you the guides, putting them in those people primarily been laughing at that juncture? Perhaps the irony is taking away the audience to. Let, though the words people themselves, no one. No one will literally nobody talk about what I said in the special. It was all about the fact that there was an audience both good and bad, but I didn't I didn't like getting any type of attention, positive or negative, that didn't feel like I earned it, but the thing
but the audience is that, like you know they you, if you're sitting at home alone, the ideas like you know, you're, not part that audience by, but the ADI Dick takes your timing chair, so, so that experience is going to translate you someone watching it themselves right, right now a dog, yet it was experimental and I dig that it enter into the experimental nature of it. I know I was excited by the radical idea interested not like shoe people's vision together, as opposed to like eight ride, unified marriage was uncle. I sell title to Michael, and this new one. You do activity. So that way, so I directed it because I didn't want to go through this experience again where I didn't feel like positive or negative I earned, but the voting this one. The response wiser called red blue. What is blue green? Why I mean you know what I miss in some
aye aye, owning a cagey bottlenecks, explaining what things mean it's with the title: Red Blue, green. That's it yet. the same, drew Michael Red, blue, green right, but why rebel going well? But I have to explain I don't explain but everything, but you why I'm here have we I mean the guy. You know you have choices that you make, but it's not revealed in the special, not missing something no and interpretive thing that I feel weird spelling it out in a mean fine but to be you closed off, whatever, whatever you want you, but the am, but like this, The way that thing a shot he's pretty traditional until it isn't a couple of close upset were effective in a way that I thought there was an interesting bit of camera work by, but ultimately- the joke is the reveal.
on some level and but it is present It has a classic comedy special for sure and I mean the thing that I wanted to do- was led into that like, like you say, there's you know, there's always may places you can put six cameras five cameras wherever it is in but leaning shoe aesthetically into lighting linen to have this had design, so so growth and creating an atmosphere and you know we draw- we drew from a couple of different look book inspirations and try to create a mood that just felt Nino. Obviously the drive in communist precious lately has fishermen s cinemas. It's become more cinematic, like I think it five years ago, some other hey. What? If this shit look good and it was like radical act, hey. What if we like? All these cameras, we have what we didn't just throw them on tripods in light. This should be our aim, show what we like thought about this and weakened. It's about it and you know, people like gum
You know I'm hungry and iron, but basis semantic bo. Burnham was pretty instrumental in doing that in both his own specials and derives a show. The wooded tiered, through the balconies, the drought, specially at eight but like just like, the new age- and it was a new way to do it now, get where you know everything around. That's not Newman million people have done round but, like the way it was shy. It's yours anything like that before I mean in uniting, that's good, I do think it should all service the stand up though, but I mean, of course you eat your the aesthetic to overtake their content Ricky. It is triggered by so but my intention is definitely to lean into the tradition of it and leave the classic nature of it, because you know I'm, like you say, like the kind of call, I'm doing it's not I'm cut from class cloth old, school right, sealant new, in the sense that I hope we have new things to say, but I see no, it's
you can trace their know, how you and you don't been of the area you and you will have stand, stand him sure we'll good I enjoyed it and as good talking he'll get like yeah. I think so everything worker You know, I think we made some headway. Good will I appreciate you me thanks for doing it I would add that I hope that wasn't too awkward or weird the special drew Michael Red, blue green. acting on HBO Max and now I'm gonna play this West Paul for you Monday.
Burma lives a key in the bond cat angels everywhere.
Transcript generated on 2022-01-13.