« WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 690 - Ryan Singer

2016-03-17 | 🔗
For longtime WTF listeners, comic Ryan Singer is a continuing presence throughout the history of the show. But this is the first time he goes in depth with his friend Marc, getting into Ryan’s deep-seated Catholic roots, his scuffles in the comedy world, and lots and lots about cigarettes. They probably talk too lovingly about cigarettes.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Though I let's do this, how are you what the fucker, what the buccaneers, what the fuck stirs, what's happening a marginal, and this is w tat. This is my podcast come to the show. My guess- a comedian ryan singer, a good friend of mine has been on the show in small bits and pieces many times over the years. Today's ryan's day to have his full interview a good friend of mine for years is open for me on the road he's got new c d out called immortal for now is also the appearing to night at docks lab, which is the old purple on in silence go and he's on the show today, ryan, singer yea I am heading into the last day of shooting foresees four of my show marin, which can be seen on. I have see. starting in may. You can watch
seasons won through three of maranon netflix, really a plugin that china plugin just telling you show what entered the conversation about the buzz. That's coming through my receiver. This the problem with dealing with audio that you now have some sort of sense of perfection invested in or some sort emotional, our commitment to the nostalgia, effective running an audio through old receivers and equipment to time travel like I do. I can't I can't not have music on right now. I just I don't know what it is. If I, if I music on almost all the time in my house. Sir, wherever I am alone. Primarily then whatever voices that are singing to me within me that are not yet We sang pleasant things or maybe not reflecting. best things they gets.
Drowned out by some of the amazing musicians and and people's records that I listened to. So it is I gradually beneficial in my journey to avoid an dare distract myself from existential paralysis that I think that's healthy. Am I better and do I feel better yeah. I have music going all the time, so I'm constantly distracted by something that's pleasant in my ears and necessarily something on a computer screen is going to cause me anxiety, like the speed ball. That is twitter, but I'm getting to the point where I might have to try to build a faraday box. I did No it affair day box was I'm not sure. I do know what affair day boxes. I'm not sure I understand what affair day boxes, but if you're gettin, if you equipments getting pummeled by external waves, I believe they may be called are waves, might be the some dealing with radio as MR wave something antenna but tat, the ferrety box is something
it has to be made out of steel or copper mash from what I understand and it's surround the piece of equipment and ill, and then you have to ground it and it will deflect whatever electrons or electoral bob bowser electricity waves are coming at, it are come, You're receiver, whatever piece of equipment, is its taking up these these way. Causing trouble in the You quieter moments of wonderful music. So. so I'm I'm I'm going to get that stuff and I'm going to build one and it's gonna, be. big pain in my ass. Because now I can't look at my my pretty old morass. I gotta look at this giant box covering copper tape. They have to put over the hang in order to play a record. The faraday box. Apparently lines are basically flying faraday boxes, so we don't kid
are by lightning and fried in our chairs, before the plane crashes, but tat. Faraday box on the horizon, protected protective, renegade frequencies that congestion pound their way in cause some unpleasant noises and buzzing and add sounds so that's that's where I met I'm at the third a box stage. I to its track it and you know see why so many you know you, you wonder why? Why why? Why is and talk about himself all the time or what ye go back on the or go to the archives on how dot, fm and listen? back one of the reasons I choose to talk about my small world, and my large brain keeping me after my small world and whenever I Taken within it is because
then there is the they it. It doesn't necessarily hardly ever date itself that. I was very aware going into this, that if I did a a podcast or. or utilizes medium to talk about your current events or or becomes we in relation to current events, said that I would have They would have a shelf life of nothing they would be dated. I knew that but I'm not always insulated. Well, friends,. so the other night I kind of fell down, appeared it's stupid. I did a few sets. The comedy you're, the one good one pretty get one right. got out on the ice in depth around been paid off zero shown original men. I did the main room. I just did some good, serial that I liked to a great audience or father Yakov smirnoff, a smirnoff who it will also did well, the comedy store bringing up rogan after me, and I-
I killed it was great said I did a waiter set in small room again, the original roman I am trying to work on new materials and the way I do those who get on stage- and I ramble through some stuff that I think going to go somewhere and I I hope that great muses Kommeni muses deliver to me in that moment where laugh is needed. The line that I will need to get that I I die wafer despond dangerously occur and that sometimes it's a along than others, but the premises themselves were funny to at least be entertaining, and my struggle with them was funny enough to be entertaining but I did not receive a transmission. Do not receive transmission from the comedy muses from the great data from the great damn whatever I wish I see, that's that's exactly what happened right there, for something, and it now gee a metaphor. I hope it would pop and did not python
Did I didn't outlined this by dint pop in size left hanging and he saw you, witnessed exactly what happens to me when I'm writing, material on stage. There's always happened right, but it's just the process or I did that. which do you know. I should just be doing the job. I should just be doing the job. I should be entertaining so I got Onstage- third show. I was doing this. This is what sent me spiraling any you're, going to a stupid. I was working for an opportunity to spiral. So I go up there and I read through some stuff teamwork. Great got some laughs whose too, and jokes. I worked on the very first show that were new and- and they just pan out that third showed didn't pan out and I knew that, but I knew Bad
and I'm in the hall after the set, I'm getting ready to run away in my car because they were friends of mine there to see me and I didn't feel good about the set, and I still have that sensitivity some guy barrel and our older guy maybe a little older than meets all lit up. We'll try tourist. He goes. Hey, hey, hey, hey! He goes you're funny man you're funny it the material. Ok, I go why? Because you do you're funny, you really are funny up there and I can see that you're funny, but the material just wasn't there, and this was a compliment. We negotiated immediately after we set him free movement that I utilise at, but The bottom line was because I my first I'm seeing me. I think you really funny ages the material. As you know, I, like I I get it man, I only dared three times, but he was right. she had just down the process there are noodles around and I had to. I felt that debt
tinge of humiliation? This is the downfall of doing com, these at embarrass Cement is incredibly disconcerting and uncomfortable being embarrassed. Is a horrible feeling, it's a very tangible feeling. It's not deadly, but it's it's it's. it's horrible and there's no shortage of the opportunity for that when you do and a comedy, and one of the reasons I think I did it- I'm constanta comedy- was to have a certain amount of control over that, but I did go Beating the shit out of myself. Realizing I get material. Isn't there it'll be there I didn't say that, though I spent a couple of days in, I don't even have it in me anymore. I don't get it material, and many more. That was the end of it there's no way, I'm gonna be able to pull another hour at my fuckin hard. Now, to my mind, it's over that's right. because that motherfucker said that- and I think he was as we join in a complementary way- is the faraday caged for the brain. Where is that
where's, the protective mash one builds around their inner sanctum of their mind where, when just a little vulnerability I usually have one. I've been pretty good with my my mental fair. A cage of protecting myself from bad energy coming in and collapsing all sound of the inside of my inner monologue and dialogue and interpersonal relationships with myself from with and but there was a little vulnerability of the will crack in the mesh at night and that guy just spat out that half compliment and set an electron past. My my man that protects my mind and it just started cavack At the time I got home I needed to stuff my feelings with food. And to masturbate it all away and then woke up feeling gross in shitty and a small, inhuman and human, not completely shore,
I would ever be able to do anything funny again end of story, but let's get now to my guest room. in singer ryan. after a great friend of mine, someone then on the show and various capacities over the years. Live shows the creation, craig This museum show he's been in here. First or interviews will now now, Today's ryan's day today is ryan singers day here on w e F Good friend, a man he's a funny guy. I've taken about on the road with me. He's a act we tonight in san francisco at the old purple on him, which is called the docks lab and he's got a new c d out called a for now and he's a archer and he's the real deal he's out there doing the business folks he's out there doing the funny.
So- let's go now to my conversation with ryan singer and this is it. I guess this is wrong, I'm coming right come on down the pike now, but if you tat. We have you at all harboured any resentment or malice in your heart, with the wise yeah marin's friend. Why haven't I done well, thing well. This is where I'm large and, from my perspective on and some people have asked me like. Oh haven't you done, a full length was as like. Well, listen. I've done a live one in aspen that was a while ago. I've been in the garage a bunch of times yeah and then I was like and I Stand where they're coming from bug, I dont understand where I'm coming framework to the degree of all the other things you ve done for me right. You help me out a beta, Emily
My mentor ah come on so you're driving. My old car you're gonna teach me how to polish boots later, we'll do that. I dont know like this one, those things where I've got my own style. That, I think, is the right way to go by had in their other people that are like don't ever do that with a boot who the fuck told you to do that, I feel a u polishing boots in my mind, the image I have as you trying to like. Wrangler rabbit like I feel like it would be very curious. No, no! It's meditation alike. I got shit, I got all the stuff, but ok, so let's go back the first time, I met, you was in Cincinnati, yeah sensitive years ago, I think I had you sign your book. For me me, you. Were there that's back when you are still air america radio days, oh that huh, a week and where no one showed up yeah. Well, I'm in except me in a bunch, a bunch in the and eight yankee a bad. We can because I'm like I felt like I Didn'T- want the guy to give me the money we all like. He had been here,
I assume that I was going just pack that plays gazelle american literally was the opposite, but that that there is no way that dude would not pay. I mean that's the kind of guy he was when he was. He stood he's back there. king, a gay I am but is not book in the club anymore, but that's the club. I came up at so it's like you can't like in our minds that was never even initially talk about the evolution of the wild man, because I think at the time I met you. It was just beginning, but there was a time previous to that were you. You had a haircut that was a proper hair cut. you dressed like a road comic? to be on a different trajectory. So it's let's walk it back. So we agree Oh hi. I grew up in ohio, yadda, very catholic family, now bullets. What's its hold up here We grub ohio. How may siblings? I got down to two two born and then others through ministers sisters, yahoo sisters now o o
mother and sister got brother and sister. I've got multiple. I've got a couple of step sisters who had fragmented yeah a lot of fragment a lot of babies, but which part of ohio southern have data, while the se. I don't know much about. Oh hi, oh, I was like a classic american state. You hear the word. Ohio never means good things yet, which is in I think to me that you know I try not to I take it with a grain of salt out here, especially you know, when you got the no coast bias or sure you know, everyone calls it the fly overstates, but I don't really. You know you don't really pay attention to that, because you know a lot of the food comes from there. So it's like. Well, I mean you're eating out here I'll, see your wife fuck you, we we have pigs. Yet we have big. We do my mom and actually have a grass fed cow business that they two and four year right now: yeah an organic, no, no, no stairway goldman dolefully, and you like tomorrow, you could go visit gauss, oh yeah, how you do all the time you do, they got the horns to the ones that are from scotland or whatever they look like. I wear the wild things are those beast yonder than their scary, but do they live on the
They live on the farm. Your your mom and my aunt does my lives on the farm that my grandpa and grandma had wait a minute here. Grandpa and grandma had a cattle farm or was it no, it was not always a cattle farm. What was it? It was a corn farm and they held onto it yeah. My grandpa was an air force guy like a lieutenant colonel in the air force, and then he bought a bunch of land out there, because Wright, patt air force bases out there. I did Dayton outside of dayton, so a lot air force people out, not area bought land. When it without land, coming back from one years ago, from like a user, lieutenant colonel during what period in the military we'll go? She was korean war, now really yeah there are just land available land grab land I mean you've got a deal, a break for being in the service sure nothing at all. Yet, and ton of acres out there and a beautiful house spend a lot of time out there. As a kid growing up, your grandparents' place me on my grandparents on my mom's side and how many acres? Why are we talking? I'm I'm guess I don't really know I'm guessing at least probably thirty,
forty acres arts and pretty big yeah. So ok, so you wrong grows up out there sure and it's a big ol farmhouse. They will form and there is corn nobody, larger quakes. He didn't do any of the farming there. They did lease out the land. A lot of people would lease out there, like you guys. Do it pay the lease and good luck with the us or give us a cut, yeah yeah, but there's always corn subsidies for this or that they need to do more with corn I think I might be ingesting corn right now, not even know it. You probably are, I think, there's corn in the air now corn syrup is everywhere. If corn syrup is everywhere and there's corn other things I dunno, there's just corn always gets to use them, and I don't know why the white corn, guess soybeans are kind, are kind of moving in banana move up the the charcoal corners, like I think, generally, the across the board to everyone's decided is not good currency a it's, it's horrible sweetener, they did. That gets everybody fat and, as in you yeah it's hard to to digest it, which is where you get those classic corn. Poop jokes goes in
and when it comes out which one there's no point in it and he's a big fan of those jokes. How can you not be yeah? I'd share the cheech and Chong. I like the way you get that corn in it for texture man. I just saw on instagram today, tommy Chong is getting ready to release his new mixtape called corn in my shit. Never goes away yeah, so they grew up out there and then I spent a lot of time out there as a kid. They would just drop us off during the summers of course, but no animals back then no, no. I always had budget dogs and cats are all kinds of cats and random dogs run around. now this, the grandmother? I hear so much about that's grandma Jesus. I thought we call her. She was hard core catholic. I mean what in like it. When I was a teenager, if I was dating a girl, the first question over her mouth was: is she catholic right don't be unequally and I was likewise I mean no idea with unequally yoked at some biblical term about not being, I guess, catholic, so you grew up with that shit. I grew up with that shit like the cause we dropped.
out there on the farm for like a you know a month at a time it felt like the summer, and just you know, wake up every morning and we have to you know, do all the farm work and all that, if it's, if their land as they did at, they had a chicken coop. You know that's how we went and got our breakfast we'd go and raid the chicken coop grab a bunch of eggs and when you bring him in the house, he your grandma would cook eggs, yeah, fresh eggs like dash eggs like that and I'll tell you something it's when you're a little kid, it's scary as hell, stealing eggs from from chicken yeah, because you're stealing their babies. You know what I mean and they don't like that shit. So you and your brother and your sister are you the oldest know, I'm the middle child who's, the youngest, my sister, oh yeah. So yeah but like I did learn a valuable lesson, though, because there was one: what is it a ruse or a rooster or the guy who just got to you know I guess, have sex with all the chickens, and I was like my grandma's, a cat, the guy. You that's the one. You know when he was the one who got real the most pissed off when you're in there just squawk and at you, and I
But yet we do that. I think they did have a cow two weeks I looked a cow as a kid and somewhere vague memory. Member grab on those things here, and there were horses too, because my aunt had it was boarding horses. She always gonna lived on a back house on the farm and she would board in like train horses, yeah so Oh, I remember there was a lady horse, lady, so a couple of donkeys here and there really aha donkey, see I learned how to ride a horse when I was very young. Can you ride it now but on problems I wouldn't saw. I was out there last summer and they have. It is big black stallion unheard gorgeous and I was actually scared to approach it could have been so long. Since I'd been around the horse guy stay on the horse, yeah yeah you do and they are you had changed. I know they terrified media. I did ruin a horse once or a pony. You broke a pony. Well, we could you not. Was the feed when you're sitting on them. They always told us out, but we did it anyway, because we're stupid little kids rhiannon. But what happens? Was
they get used to eating. While someone's you know doing, that's it, then this horse wouldn't stop turning its head around and just biting your leg Riyadh. I that experience horrible when putting sat alone they buy on the side of the ark and, worse, there's no way like due to have the mindset to deal with large animals like that they're just right, you just dumb fuck and animals and on the boss. I don't have that We have that with my cat and there the because they don't ever register that Jia. Now I can't I do love a horseman, but I couldn't People are like. Oh, I want one. I never understood that either like oh. I want a horse yeah. I want a horse, give me a horse. It's like you want a horse yeah like a lot of responsibility. Yeah like that's a that's a fuckin horse, but ok, you're, gettin eggs grandma? Nobody else is co. Grandma Jesus is villainous with. You know fills us with, like booker revelations type shit where's your. Where are you where your parents, during this stage held up you offer Jesus far earlier,
and they're on their own. They mean they're both raised in catholic. You know big large, trickling wherefore the background, the background italian or not polish. Irish, not only irish, mostly irish catholic, you gotta get german english. French, I ah, but mostly I was at my mom, says it's the black irish. Where I get there I think I am just seeing that now. I never realized it but you're like some crazy mic, yeah yeah, so it makes sense- so funny, because I gather rooster thing that like a lot here, do you like your bits now, your broad, crazy man, bits you'll have to do with the survival and persistence and mysticism and in biological things, to a certainty Three saw grown man around the I've kind of transitional. It's interesting because, like when I first started comedy, I was kind of this same style, but I couldn't get work cut out.
Is to have too much of a maniac, I didn't know how to write a joke. Yet exactly so, I go onstage up like I'm an artist. Don't tell me what to do yeah. I can say everything I want to go in so then, five years later, I'm like oh, I'm still just at open mics. Well, let's go back so tell me about the catholicism. Dumped into your head because I think catholics give little. Madam is sometimes I'm dismissive or even a seemingly I catholic, but it is a pretty big mine fuck, oh yeah, and it is. It gave me of a great blueprint for what I really am into now life, which is like that. You know that mysticism of the universe, I'm kind of stuff. So that's funny, so you transcended the b, this sort of mundane yet ornate mysticism of the catholic church, but the template was air, so you just filling it in randomly with your own information, not only Jesus. I got crystal that's no
but not all night. I guess, but so why were you terrified your grandmother down the tiny little lady? Yet I little lady and she was living saying according to everybody, so but you don't want to miss yoke or whatever so yogi out when I was very catholic, like she told me, I mean she had pretty much, vince me that I was I may I guess I didn't need much of a push, but even as a little kid I think I was kind of a megalomaniac or a little egomaniac yeah. You know chemist It was very special yeah. You know that's where grandma's jaw is good, grandma's job. This was. I think this went a little above and beyond to the point where she's, like you know, the virgin mary will come to you in a vision, probably because you're very special, real, and then she me guidelines about like wound. I know if it's the virgin mary efforts, lucifer pretending to be the virgin mary, which happened lily yeah. If, if the virgin mary appears to you and is not barefoot, that's when you know it's the devil of a closing
as the virgin mary rice rikiu into some vague now that galileo, so you told me that I'm a ride when the most distinct images at are memories. I have in my life as a little kid we'd, always go to church constantly with them when we're out there and they'd have like little cafeteria luncheons afterwards. In one time we just hanging out the farmhouse and she shouldn't she's like do you want to see a miracle, and I was like: oh I'm like six or seven years on like hell, you wanna see a miracle, and she shows me this picture of the lunch line of the church. Cafeteria and there's a space in between two people in libya and in the middle is a floating virgin mary impaired yeah. They lay before shot photoshop. This is way before photos. This is what nineteen eighty three he added and she's like that's the virgin mary. She was captured in this fight I hope this will be the thing, even as a little kid I was like this will be the thing that forever cement my faith in god that picture that picture bought it abroad
I write in, however you I will I can't remember exactly. I was somewhere between like six and nine years old, wow and so then for the rest of my life. That was the one thing that out no matter how far away I got from the church, which was very very far outweighs had that one thing like stuck in my brain I've seen the virgin mary Ann coward airline, pics, and so then, before she died, This was annulled, dunno, maybe like six or seven years ago. I was hanging out there in the farm at the farm is still out there, the outdated. He'll be end. Emma grandpa did too open to let this past year. He, way over the years. He was eighty nine or no. He was eighty nine when he asked away- and she was, I think, eighty seven wow, but so what happened was I I she would always ask me like? Are you going to urge blah blah blah and always lie and say yes, and as I can, the one thing that always held me on you know,
it's had in my mind and I was like that pictures. You showed me of the virgin mary when I was a little kid and she just looks at me and she goes what an ago member you had a picture or from the church where the virgin Mary was floating and she goes oh No, I don't. I don't remember that and then like instantly, I just remembered like feeling like. Oh it's all, it's all gone now, yeah, because you don't forget a miracle right like me, that's the way. I that's the way I rationalize it like you can't forget a miracle happening and then some told me what well you're grandma was as religious as you know. You say she was she are we experience miracles all the time, so this was no big deal or, as I know, no, you remain showing your grandchild a photo of virgin mary was eighty. Seven still I mean I was out of. It was enough for me to finally released. That really that moment the moment it was gone. What other she did. She tell you
What about like? Three you saw them when I was younger, she told me like. I would show up at school like when I was a kid. How often were you going to church when you were a kid? Did you every sunday, every sunday with a family and then every friday at school cause? I went to catholic church for twelve years, so every friday we'd have really in where I was I had out well when I was a real little kid up until about eleven, I wanted to be a priest. I had the whole ass memorized, like I would that's why you're special does a special right. I thought was a leg. The next chosen leader of god, like that's all you're, Your grandmother instilled that aid, and still do me that is essentially it was. It was moses. Jesus, ryan, sanger etiquette, everyone's been waitin. For that your way it I mean, I really thought I was gonna, be it the you know the frontline, the other war, because you we'd all war, the war between the devil and god? You know the second Jesus that would open up. That would be the big battle for everyone souls and she me that it would happen in her lifetime and you know she's been dead now for about six or seven europe's problem
happening you're just out of the loop yeah or you might be on the wrong side. Yeah or maybe this is hell or heaven or or whatever nah nah it's happening now. It's happening, it's happening, it's happening. This is not Heaven or hell. This is earth. And it's too troubled place, but there is no indication that that war is not going on. It's really the frame it isn't and barely you ve, given up your leadership potential and now we're just lost planet because ryan singer, decided to hang his hope on bullshit just waiting for that moment where they come and they come and get me out of the the you know the doldrums wherever and say we need you now you will need be or how open are you hey man? I am a you know. My twenty sixteen schedule is pretty open right now, so be be ready for the message from the almighty, a ryan. Your grandmother just reminded me up here
yeah yeah, but you know I went by the peacemaker as a little kid like. I gave myself that nickname you were the peace me. I was the peacemaker yeah. I would go around recess in school. Breaking up fights, I'd, be like stop fighting the peacemakers here. You gotta. Stop fighting really dalia. So she really filled you up. She read filled me up. I mean I got in trouble and mass and school because I'd be performing, do and all the things in the nuns would be like. What are you doing in? Unlike are you you did thought I was mocking the ceremony right and, as ignore practices You don't understand, like I already like, even as a kid I was like I'm better than this. Guy is yeah. I got guys boring smuggler. You gotta give me get the peacemaker up there get some charisma happening to me. I could riff a little bit yeah. Do some ribbon the hamleys right. You know those like all go off book on the hamleys, that's when you like they tell their stupid jugs ina sum of some kind actually had a little bit a sense of humor. Those ones were like they were living gods like if you ever went like people would say:
breathe. You got a kind of this mass because this priestess malaria and saw the ok I'll check it out. Anna there was a guy who told us streetch up yet that the guy, not even using his own niven using his own shit, but but that's interesting, so you are young, you believed. help. Oh yeah, I dont have a memory of learning. How that's how strong it is still a little bit. Probably if I was to be like I dont, remember, learning about it's always been there. That's like a real that really framed my life. You, the idea of burning. Oh god is a tangible. I mean that the ways maker was a bit before you. U yours! is that the devil was pulling at you, but I guess you they was pulling out you every day. Right will surely, as the peacemaker when he saw a couple of kids fighting in the in the the ground. Your right lucifer, the issue How did it go? Get him out of the area. The devil is years back in with my friend, better go, beat the shit out I'll over there, yet the eye.
And then I learned how to masturbate. That's when I realized. I was a big moment realise when I was like well till you you're taught, and everyone was gardener- knows how, under that share usinor go you're gangs that now back in albania how best around it, and so then you know slowly, but surely I shed the the peacemaker after that masturbated analyses the master matter. I am the list, king and that's about around the same time. I realized how, anyway, how agree that adds value and eleven. I, when we start jerking off here, a dance when I first the two I think at the year. That is when I transition from just laying on my belly on a mattress, yeah and waiting for something to happen. Yeah to actually talking to your little devil, enter yeah. It's like the devil said you know you can make this more fun and if you turn over and you actually get active with not rely so much on like weirdly rubbing the fucking mattress. Never I never was that guy there I know like went full, bore into know that fucked, pillows or fuck, the mattress, is sort of
I had a weirder way. I have talked about it before I. It was sort of like my in it was I've, never heard anyone say it like literally the first few times that I fucking jerked off. It was like philly back up in that water shoot now the spigot to stick. My dick in there how it happened. But I, like you, in touch feminine side. You were, I guess I was a little girl cause. Could you hear about like showerheads all the time, women, india, even at a young age you are in touch with your feminine side. I guess so. I guess yeah and I I kind of jerked off weird for for a good part of my life. It was weird it was almost. It was girly a little bit yeah,
while there I mean mine was real loaded like at me with with guilt and shame the first time you grabbed twelve of your or like your week. This is it like. I remember I'll, never forget the day, because then I could hear friends in the back at one of my best. Friends live right behind me and my other best friend live right next door to him are all the same age in the one kid at a trampoline, so there's always kids. There just jumped around and having a good time here- and I was it was after school, I jerk off for the first time and then I can hear them all out laughing and having a good time, I'm like oh they're laughing at me, cause I just jerked off cause. This was also like part of this. Was in an age, nine in eighty seven or where it's like. If you do If you are gay, really then like being in a fucking world, you grow up in well. I grew up in that catholics, well, jewish kids are like you jerking off the I'm jerking off. Really, how often do you jerk off twice a day? Really that's. Why wasn't until I was in highschool that that really became a topic for dudes?
what do you mean when you're, eleven or twelve you're you're yeah? When I was eleven like it was you know, you're, probably ahead of the pan. Being gay was like a real big problem, because you were going to burn in hell for that. You know what I mean, but you're also going to burn in hell for just jerking off jerking off. That means you're you're you're touching a dick, so you want to touch a dick, so you must be gay really. That was your. I mean I guess you're. A little kid. You don't know my right rail. So then I go outside afterward go play for shame, full of shame, and I just they all know. There is no I've, just peterka peacemakers, dark yeah, and so then you know sometimes I would interest I would just kind of like go home from school. really malaysia, like lay in shame he and his land jane, now, did your grandmother if you're guilty around your grandmother, after that they have once he's our jerk and tried not to think about it. When I was around my grandmother, I mean, like I mean I felt guilty, because I could I also, and smoking cigarettes at the same time, at a way, I kind of had a hard break from this. Like god thing I like, I went like, I was at eleven
when all and when I first migrated and smoked. That's when I smoked for the for the now. How did your did your grandmother characterize? The the battle that you were supposed to lead to do was not really I mean my grandma mosley had stuff about like you're, very special, and you know, Jesus is going to back in my lifetime, so you'll be able to witness that would fill me with other stories like she went to magic area which is like a retreat plays for. Like a you know, like where miracles all always happen, and she would always just tell me about oh some, some east found a diary in an ancient ruin and it has all these predictions and in others, gonna virgin mary. I peer over new york city on christmas eve and so I'd go to school and I'd tell all my friends, the virgin mary is going to appear over new york city on christmas eve and there's gonna be a great punishment and all this other kind of stuff, and then none of it would ever happen and so be like peacemaker would open to the mary. What what's your mother do and where she at she's, just gonna, be anti catholic. Fuck you I mean, I don't know really anymore, but at the time she was so your parents
married at this time when you're late on a jerk off and smoking cigarettes. What's your old man, your old man's, pretty catholic yeah, also raising? after family yeah, you do, I think, he's a Now by the time he was a lawyer and he was in law school. I was very young, oh really yeah, and so, just learn the other day, we're on food stamps. My mom arriving would get pissed off. If I told people cause she's gonna, she likes status, the auditing, but I just learned the other day, not array lawyer than her. Well, no not yet I know what you mean when he was in law school when he was in law school and so then you know, then he went into title the title business had a title: business got pretty successful, then asked, unlike the early ninetys in that recession, anyhow, what it is, and that is like one be when you buy a house sign a title, ash it and then, and then he gonna build a back up after almost gone bankrupt and then got a job as a joke
I got a job as well, I mean he he ran for. Ah he you have to be elected as a county judge and he actually his first time he ever ran for election. I was I just dropped out of college and I was moving to los angeles to to stand up and was very young and I meet our so you came out here before I've been on your bunch times like the failure. I really embraced failure or if he came out any thought, the beast. I thought the in fact yeah I went back. I had you know my first mental breakdown. Well, I I've never had a second one, but anyway I with a guy who's hard on how I moved with a guy who my dad was running against. It was his father how really yeah so we had a bad at the time. whoever is dad won the election, the other person at the moment. So, let's go to, let's backtracks, you jerk smoking cigarettes, your levin, your mom's catholic you're, dealing with your dad
I have been away when the daybreak up when I was about sixteen, and he was already a judge. No not yet he was in judge till about seven years ago and what kind of judges he conservative judge here, Conservative but he's a republican, but I think he would probably declare himself more of a he probably leans libertarian says not social conservative he's a fiscal, conservative and but very socially progressive right. That's what I mean yeah, like you know, he's he's: ok with you, turkey, often being gay you I mean he recently just the fisher arusha recently started a woman's court in Montgomery county ohio, which I think there's only one other court like it in the country. and he's really into like fighting human trafficking him and he's my dad is probably the best dude. I know that's good yeah and you get along. Oh yeah. We get along great news, okay with your wife decision yeah. He is, I think, he's filled with worry but that's usually what it is mere concerned always been very supportive. Now I've gotta and your mom you're, always
supportive as well get along with her I get along with her. Alright, you know she's a a we kind of have like a reverse relationship, though, and was at like I'm almost the parent. I have to tell her like you need to call me back Would you be like I'm sorry, I know she's out, there are not on the horse for no she's out. She lives of my stepped out in the suburbs. Has echo his great now get. Is an architect guy he's a real? Ah, this is out. This is how he energy systems and everybody is Jim to any day no high. Like everybody, it doesn't matter who you are god's. Our energies is uncertain, guys been working since he was fourteen years old. seventy one. Now I think, he's being like force into retirement by my mom, because I mean was a guy, these guidelines and always at her eyes. You better be careful what you hope for your right. You get the guy that can stop workin and you make him stop working now. I don't know how they're gonna be around each other all day, because both of em need hearing aids, but they won't admit it. So she like constant arguments over things, that the other person
they think, is ignoring them when they just don't hear each other. I think I'm getting to that point. on the island. Yelling at my girlfriend I can. Can you just talk? you like in a normal town, so it would be like why what have you at your hearing? I said recently what exactly I have not had a test You should I mean I don't know why. As of anything, I guess why people go on hearing it here. I need I don't think I'm your hearing aid see what you made it through high school may through icicle smoking. My cigarette smoke lie, also cigarettes in general and chewing tobacco. I mean I'm a southern ohio boy. Tell me about that. Fucking double thing! That horrible thing you told me about depend where you do a full face. What is that thing all the mouthpiece? Oh, my god, yeah of these, I think only two are the mouthpiece wants. It's when you feel your upper lip and your lower lip with just dip, and it's the worse, you can't breathe. You can't do anything. Your mouth just dealing is so specific. It's like it's not adding grow up with it. I can't keep that shit together my mouth I would have liked, Do you wanna get downcast? That's why I know, but you can dip regular coke.
hagen. Kenya sure I for a while. I did do regular copenhagen, but it's like you. Where'd, you learn that she had. Is that just if my word, I owe my buddy Eric Nagel tommy? Well, and the only reason I dare because I was I was never that drawn to other than the fact that I loved baseball and a ton of baseball players, depth right and so on. the first time ever try to do. I mean I must have been fifteen year. I am felt on the steps. I was buzzing so hard and I was like yeah I'm doing this I'm doing this because ass I was with cigarettes deerlike. I also heard the signal or your voice that I start smoking because I was like the last of all my friends to hit puberty, so I can add a high pitched voices. I dunno, where I even heard that shit and now now and then that in that leads to like me and you being stuck in a lifelong struggle with fucking nicotine yeah. I mean I've been about three months clean now, but you're on and off you're. Throwing the book at me give me that book three times yeah, I read that book. Seventeen times
every time I read it, I mean someone's like I think you might be addicted to reading the book and I was like well. Maybe I should just smoke again, so I can get another hit that look at the way the attic mind justifies doing it. I do think about I mean Although when I see smokers now, I kind of pity him. You know when it's cold, no one at summer time, unlike ah there even the live in the dream. I stay on these ingesting it doesn't like. I don't really think about smoking. The actual cigarettes cause it just to me. It's just like fucking death sticks like just burning my lungs out, but you dare him. When you go out, you fucking go out when I go out, I'm like this last time over this past summer, when I dude. I was I in out because I had been almost five years since I had done it So I wasn't in the easy game, yeah and all that kind of stuff. These were all new. So I was e sagan and dip in smoke and never did stoke miranda. I do care, lights or moral lights. Although when I was a kid, I love newport, warlike, salem lights, eyes, marbre red,
However, I never went marble registered a little too. I did the mediums for a while, yet they weren't around out here the army more. I was, or I remember, when Marlborough lights came out, yeah like light cigarettes right there going there is regular cigarettes and merits or true Those were the ones knows you're awful mary, you remember when they came out and now they can't even call them lights anymore. Now, there's ninety different types of marlboros: they just trying to figure out how to keep people smoking. Those things I eventually switched to marble lights and camel lights go. I thought carmelites were more like marlboros, I tried Weinstein's, I tried camel straits I tried lucky strikes, have tried miles old goals, giscard Tom waits talked about all girls. There is imperative I know I smoke every thought: consider new ports because somebody men
I think Keith richards mentioned newport's once marlboro menthol, which were hard to find which made those cool, because the box was like the red box, but it was green. You can find them that they weren't around much. I tried balkans, a brainy, fancy cigarettes, natural and fancy cigarettes, fuckin love cigarettes, I even tried those skinny ones as a knock on the slim, Jim or whatever those. Ladies cigarette, I was no, I haven't tried those virginia swim, virginia slims, that's that's the one. They were always do. The smoked, as you were, like weird old southern guys, with junk those things are long thin ones. I never did the holder, though the cigarette holder. I tried it, but it was stupid. There was some no filter cigarettes. Were I'm glad I couldn't handle it physically, but they were the best. Facilities at irish smoked was a camel non filter. Kalinov deliver good, but lucky's were great, lucky's taste great, there's a sweetness to him. They smell good.
You're either a lie outright. A pall malls, not bad the palm all no filter, pretty good, pretty good cigarette. I think the the appeal to the nonfiltered to me was like. Oh, this is like drugs yeah, it's hard core, yeah, it's hard to maintain because you can't smoke as many as you want. They literally hurt you yeah and they burn your fuckin fingertips. Yet nigger calibre I've had brown fingers dude you're a brown fingered yeah. I was never had brown fingers as much as overhead, just like totally white gums, which is this. areas moment. I just remembered the brown finger think how much did I have to fuck inside a ton like I had fuckin brown fingers. I never got brown fingers just yellowish, but I never went brown. Never I mean yeah, but they're your nicotine stain on your fucking fingers yeah the worst yeah. I remember having that and just being like that, I guess I'm I mean I would smoke a pack and half a day, the high point, man about I'm over not dying, I saw a lot is growing we're all dying. I now
I was I always fantasizing, but lucy the other day like just one of those lucy's. What are they? Lou cigarette well, yeah yeah yeah, you just put wherever you can put it like. I was like our man, that's how you sell em for a nickel, oh yeah, I got an hour or so I don't know why don't? I would offer us a garden once by god. Can I ever get into I can't help but inhale, so you make it through high school. I made it through high dependence How can you smoke? Did you do well in high school? I did ok. I was like a sea and then you go to another. I didn't do anything. I didn't try driving around smoking and drinking without drugs, drugs was I smoke a lotta weed and I school a friend of mine, his dad. We figured out here on his day. I threw it on their farm. And he round rays are full of it have been so I smoked weed almost every day from like middle of my sophomore year. Through the end of my high school career, I miss for free, miss it god, damn it. We would just have bonfires and just stare at you know your foes and shit air
The first time ever smoked we'd was out of a corn cobb pipe that I made with a pocket knife in a hollow step, and it was a magical moment in my life and then, unfortunately, the dude's ma am figured out that we are smoking, her husband, his dad's weed, and I remember one night, whereas bonfire right to smoking, weed having a good time being listened to hang junior year having the best time are alive Thank you so nelson his dad shows up with a wheelbarrow just filled with bricks of marijuana and then next you know you see and he's gotta look on his face that, like he's, gonna kill somebody and then his mom shows up and she goes do it and then he has to dump all of the weed onto the by
fire now spoke the first time I saw a grown man cry and then not I'd out like I'm, never going to see my body again was appointed there. She found. that we were smoking? It answered she it and burn it all. Peasant is what an example where I guess so. Did we fucked up I that, and so then it was about a month later. Maybe- or two later, when his ike spies been replenished. He was growing in your body yeah, so then we are back in again our stand, the mental the logic of that the ilo? Is it There was also are like kindergarten teacher when we were kids now so as to why she was punishing him as Example to you that we is bad like she just caught him or something yeah. What you did to these kids now go. Show em yeah. kids believe in magic. Now the only factor at equally also eaten. Yes, but it was weird cause.
You know I dunno. I then, when I was about twenty one. Twenty two, like we just broke in my brain and just didn't it wasn't, and then I started having panic and anxiety attacks when I get high and it just stopped being fun like well the orient ideas, because it was so much fun. Did you move on the other narcotics Until I was older when I got roused like mile know, maybe twenty seven, I got it cocaine for, although I too late or so what happens when you did you go to college to college, went to a bowling green state university for about four year study theatre dropped out, as I know, no one's asking deniro for his diploma when it's easier plays and stuff. I like one, the one nash wort, where they call one act, plays the only reason I studied theaters, because I knew I wanted to do stand up and I was like I need to get comfortable on when you know that, probably when I was in highschool, why cause? I might family, all the adults, all my aunts and uncles. They would they'd be laughing their ass off watching Carson and I'm like. Oh that's. I want to make adults laugh anyhow, yeah, that's that's where the juices for fuck, my friends right
you can make an adult laugh you're, doing something right and, as I said like, then I realized what stana comedy was right: and who are you guys my guys are very early on? Were you know cosby and mostly your prior, I loved him, the ireland, but some of the first. The first album I heard was himself which are no longer around, but the eye Oh that trouser issue. So so the whole thing is so loaded now yet, but but then the first album I ever tried to listen to was. Is it something I said by prior right my dad had the vinyl in his trunk and I was with him in my uncle and they were shopping. They'll pop the trunk and I grabbed that album cause I wanted to listen to. I was just a kid Could it just look cool? We as I? No. You can't isn't how guys like you can't listen to this, but you you can listen one, and he gave me himself instead the first, I had a funny you don't you can listen to the plea that family friendly black man exactly so there. the first comedy city I ever bought was the is its
I said, and now when my dad my own london, if we're on a road trip, will listen to our yeah is it fun to listen to a comedy record with somebody, especially one that you know where you're both kind of look at each other, all yang, in the hope it still works? Oh yeah she's still gonna work that joke for us yeah that in that album sure does oh yeah, it's great all right, so so you've dropped out of the theater program, man. What you'd go back to dayton, any ask your car. What happens yeah go to dayton, you don't feel any stand up. You save up some money. I think I'd been on. I think I did open mic, maybe a handful of times where three or four times at a club in dayton called jokers which is closed now and a funny bone moved in. But I didn't we three or four over mike's, as I m ready for the tonight, show we're doing you're crazy shit. I was just yeah. I was all over the place I was doing like one of my big bit at the time was. I was skull. Fucking. The devil I was like you know, is a threed scenes
pics, so yeah those years, but kynaston guys are because of all the religious stuff. I could really relate to get some great religious stuff in so I moved out to l a he did that then got a job at the ice house working the box office. He moved to l a in what year gosh. I think like ninety nine I must have been ninety nine okay and I was like Ahmed I'm going to be a stand up now, and I was I dunno, maybe twenty two years old, twenty three years old at the most and where you live, I was living in burbank a body whose father virginia whose dad be my dad relax. I'm so you dead, eventually get elected. He eventually appointed because someone retired governor appointed him. When I saw you with that dude you have of judges, kids, you I will tell you tat, actually do ya so we are is what are you gonna do out here? He was moved out to be an actor and he graduated from bowling green and how
do you still outer? Oh yeah he's the latter. The organ I don't think he's doing acting anymore, aka buddy buddy stayed out here, so I need either and then I'm also organism scientology, title company and glendale you're you're. Ok, you workin the door at the ice house, I'm working the box office. Ok, I got in with white till I got in, and so then, but I was losing. I didn't work there very long cause. I was losing money working there, because I'd always tried to sneak away from the box office to go. Try to peek in cars, like oh arsenio hall, showed up drop in, certainly good. I love you and so I would sneak away I'd come back and they had some. different tickets that I would always always fuck it up right, so I had to go to the atm. It's still in the bar there, and I'd have like thirty every night could just like death Well, you're fired great advocate a so. I was like losing money working there here and it wasn't very long because it was in short after that I just gonna, like a split from august. Freaked out had a meltdown and move back. I mean do you know I was just driving around my car screaming
tomorrow, you doing you're watching common use money, you workin for the scientologists today ever come after. You know. How do you know a scientology front? as a dude, I'm a friend of mine, the guy who made buddies with who was working there. He was like behind me in a cubicle here. He told me that everybody- here's a scientologist, and I was like oh yeah and he's like oh yeah. You can't talk about it and then one day he's like I got this book. I need to give it to you it's in my trunk, but don't say anything about it. I was like okay, whatever and then an hour later. This woman, who was like the boss, shows up- and I overheard this conversation I came members, namely he was kory Corey. We know you have that, but because he had got in but then gotten out, somehow right, scientologists, yeah and like he started to go into it and pulled himself out and his When we talk about their like she's, like we know, you have, that book, give it to us a will come it from you- and I have no idea what you're talking about right in the weirdest thing. Then we get an elevator to go to lunch in she hit the up button and set it down. and everybody on the elevator freaked out, because she made a mistake,
like a mechanical mistake which she was like advanced and and scientology where she wasn't supposed to make those kind of mistakes anymore and everybody just fuckin lot like was freaking out and you are. I can't be work. This is crazy what how would they freaking out like all like only you you, because I don't know how I I don't I've. Never I don't enter like what did you do you hit a budget and I'm like what, if I hit the wrong button man, I do that shit every day but that was your side, and so I was just kind of like driving around like screaming at myself like. Why does you know- and I kind of had like a mental, I don't it was weird man I dunno I was just like super like I was just laugh but I didn't want her head doing. My head was like filled with anger and was filled is just confusion. I didn't know what I do and I was also having like this religious relapses, where it was kind of coming from like what is the of my life existential crisis. I guess
so you are mad at yourself that you weren't doing comedy for you. Probably that was a big part of it cause I wasn't doing stand up and, like you know, being out here without a purpose is horrifying. as you know that everything you want to do is in some office somewhere sure or on a stage when you just get isolated in this weird way and your brain- goes away. They happened to me man, but I was on a lotta coke you I wasn't. I wasn't in that yeah I was like, I know, still drinking in I've just drinking every once in a while. Back, You know, I never knew there are women involved. No, I mean I was living on a mattress in the corner of the apartment. That's a worry like a tapestry just blocking me off and one of our roommates and earn a boyfriend, we're always up super late at night, smoking weed yet watching tv, which was like four feet away from my bed. Also. I never I never slept because I was work two jobs, we ve deprivations badly. I was sleep deprived and classic there. If, like ella hopelessness, we're here, you ve sacrifice all the comforts of life to sort of pursue this
a dream and your sleeping on fuckin floor yeah. I was the worst and then on Monday I just out of I just started sleep cracks little bit right and then I started having a I'm doing the most selfish profession in the world. Stana comedy itself what are you doing they times? No, I'm saying like in my mind, dream writer has dream rife right and, unlike all, I'm gonna burn in Hell. That's like them most selfish thing. You can be like, in southern. I always go back to I go back to ireland. I just don't leave like the house for like weeks I just unlike totally just locked into this religious. Like beating the shit out of yourself yeah and I'm like, oh, my god, I'm going to burn in Hell. I need a vigil. I need to get my life back to your grandmother for counsel. No, I didn't I just I again, can't you go to church, I start going to church boy? I started, but I couldn't get away from standard, so I got a job waitin tables at a club which one joke jokers and I could I even though I was like, are not doing this. You know so Finally, my brain was like you're not getting
from the eu like it's like almost at weird self regulation thing like he felt like you deserve to be punished. Sure that's like catholic thing here, and so I go back to school and I'm studying social work. Soccer? You can do the right thing, yeah right, I'm doing the right thing and then, after about like a semester or a couple of quarters of social work, I'm like oh man, I'm going to make thirty thousand dollars a year and I'm not even going to like this job right, no yeah and Then I'd transition at create writing graduating like two years after that, but the and creative writing degree liberace, great ma and then started doing stand up again after that, but like how long did it take for the shit december down like the religious thing and all that kind of stuff or what happened like it came to a head at some point, where I remember one time, I'm laying in bed and like a car drove down the street. my dad's house in like a guest room and the headlights went through the leaves and like they they cascaded occur. the wall here and I I thought they were like
demons. You know in the movie ghost when the demons come up and take the bad guy and suck em down through the street or to have on the erika, but also all the end that I felt my body gettings. Stuck down through the mattress, or maybe it was sleep paralysis, I'm not exactly sure, but and I'm like, oh and then I come out of that and I'm like what the fuck is going that, like the religions, must be like a puppy, it's like a dog or some aspects that make life better, not trap you and be preserved. so then I drove to the highest point in town, so hack, right and cliche. Again, I challenge god. Out loud on ya out loud and thrown rocks at the sky, even when he I'm saying if you exist, show me assign you exist. Show me, I don't believe you exist. This is your bullshit show me aside. and then I had this moment where I'm like a man this is like. So this is so hack, like what are you awake? Everybody challenges god, and then I had this moment. One like biblical you're out of your sir hung up with mountains yeah and and but in my mind, at the time as a stand up comedy.
My brain where that was like. You know it's not happy selling your shoulder, the devil It was not as hacky anyway like nobody does that so then add any more, it's not as popular yeah. So I made a deal with the devil mine. I said if you are real, you will show yourself to me. You can have me Damn you give me everything. I want right and exotic She was my brain. My logic was like you know what, if the devil exists, that means by default, god exists. So you know a be equal, see a trick the devil and proven to be the god real right even though the devil knows I'm doing that the devil's cocky enough to think, while it doesn't matter- and you are strong enough in your will of course right and I do get everything I want and his day, but it just takes a long time. Did the down I gotta himself. No, so no one showed up up until six months ago I was driving a ninety nine camry. I do you think the delaware
as to got three roommates might be very real way. Maybe you missed when he gave you every year. There is a day there. It's conditional. So after that haven't man after I sold my soul, the devil lifespan good. now go back on the desert. Like you owe much now yeah sure. Maybe he hasn't delivered yet yeah, maybe times maybe they climate emit a maybe it's tough economy for the devil. Maybe it's time to go back up on the mountain and say like I thought we had a deal. Maybe that's! Why go up there everyday? What happened to the deal the deal? Man, ah that'll simmer down and then eventually nice are doing stand up all the time, and then it was like one of those things to where I was like. I quit doing this once near now, I'm never now. Now it's like I'm not quit until I'm dead, where I was like one of those like I did. I make ultimatums too many to too much me I felt like, but that's when you stuck with that one
We stuck with you because I'd so well that I guess that's that's the devil working three. You ve made a commitment you have given you. Everything now is no way out no way out. Nowhere, isn't it there it there. Is it an thing? I know that personally they like wine when it all goes away, but I think that there is probably not ready for you being a lapsed believer in in four reels there. You know if it ever argos away, you'll just go like alright Jesus. okay. Here we go. I work in it. I get it. I mean I got tigers eye in my pocket is supposed to give me money. I guess I'll pray to Jesus and say yeah finally came around to Jesus, but but you know what so what were your models like when you were work, and so he started the cause, your big road dog now You do allow those rooms in your headline and now what you just do? Your third record lydia put out what's one called again mortal for now it
well for now, and you did the back the picture on the back and just courage, ass. What you would know, just what you know: joshua trees give with either her sky say that if you like, I went to judge of terrorism. There was a It was like two days after I showed you the photo too. Yet I was like how long have you been thinking about this? Has this been bothered you thank you, The joshua tree for the for the moment for this, your tool juice, not one joshua tree in the fuckin picture. Yeah it worked out that way. I think that was the best photo we just randomly took. Does it wasn't like photo shoot. It was just like it was just me and my buddy Brooks and we were just kind of walking around okay, I get it yeah, throw it we're all supposed to know it was joshua tree. No, I mean doesn't really matter. Okay, if you know matters to you. While I mean it's cool to me too, that it was taken and joshua tree just because you know joshua trees, kind of loaded with all that mythology from the past. So now, as I know you you ve gone through different manifestations of you done, you're done. creasy days, you done you're, you're, crazy. web series,
you know you ve been in and out of relationships with kooky girls. You don't seem to be the drug it'll be behind you. What the hell was that period and how long did that go on, for we were the cause I probably went around for about three years. I mean I don't think I ever hit a true rock bottom with the drugs yeah, the oliver, Forget it like one of my first feature weakens ever, which was a big weak for me was Geraldo was headline. and I got the week to be a future act. Go bananas in Cincinnati so excited about it and we are in the green room just talking about like things great guy, and I was like oh yeah, I used to you know, a bunch of coke and minimise bodies would just do coke and place speed chechnya. You know you, could you get thirty seconds to make a move and honour draw just sit in the room. Looked to make us yeah sounds like a real rock bottom as agreed, I'm a little beyond my scope. Here are the answer: so I never really, I think, two weeks,
I mean they reduce and biology or older. Now now he was presented in the period he was in clean period. As far as I can tell I mean what a great week, though, and he was great, he was great. Who else did you before that boy you're mine, that made you go again, it got work to do. Oh man, there was there's been a lot of people that really made me like feel like I got. A lot of work to do. Dorado was one of them for sure cause. I looked. I went back and listened to those tapes yeah just like, oh my god, how did he put up with me opening for him? If I was him out of it? I get this fuckin kid. Like his my opening joke at the time was: hey. You don't know who I am and thank god you don't because if I was famous I'd, be a goddamn monster like it's like. Oh, this is how the next thirty minutes ago I defy like you so ran shock was a guy. When I was younger, I remember he would come through whilst his counter club in dayton about twice a year and I'll marry So goddamn good- and I remember one time he does murdered- comes off stage and at hung out I,
I was a wallflower there. Is there all the time, and he this looks at me comes off stage after just murdering for like an hour for him as he goes right. That's how you do stand of common. And then walked off, and I, like you, know iran among now tonight? I'm gonna go home and write yeah. It was like one o'clock on a saturday night, just a slow groove to yeah. He didn't know there was a guy named John John cabinet. I know him. You know John, he jamming up an era, carbon era, it was reagan yeah? The first time I saw him I was like: oh, you can layer, you can level your jokes, you can have multiple levels to these jokes. A joke doesn't have to just stop and he had a lot of juice to add energy yeah yeah. He was great cause. I remember like all those guys would come through LISA can rogerson would come through any right is funded bass so funny his jokes were so good, and then you know, bananas I saw you know, stand hope who just blew me away, and then you know all those like, but you know
not all of the nice hedberg as you would come through jokers. She would bring him through here, it's a great privilege, like you know, when you you sort of abide by the sort of stem and yet the two living like a like. I I spent my life said Nora, comedy clubs, you, when you're not on just sit there choppin at the bit, you'll like it when I worked nor them back in boston, catch rising, starry, just go every night and his wife his shit, it's injured, if the guys you chose cause. Those are all fucking solid for a lot of different reasons. You know there's some real vision to all of them and I guess so over the years. You realize that you could do exactly what you wanna do scott and make it work. Sure abide by the audience. Is none of those guys really do a narrow, a mainstreaming, but you know he was his own dang added cinnamon on time. Yeah, I mean I am and either, but I think I reached a level At some point, where I learned, you know what you gotta learn: some jokes you'll learn how to write a joke and it took me a long time to learn tag. I knew that they were there. I
I knew I had do jokes, but it's like how do you do them for the ones that you you make your own? Exactly? Has that fucking happen Tom I ever got a week. The first week I ever got was each hearing just a thought: Dana Sunday featuring and now, like you know what I knew it I knew I was gonna- skip the empty spot, this kid It was after five years of not getting a fuckin bone thrown his way right, yeah and I'm like I got it in bobcat. Goldthwait was headlining wiley's, comedy club and but they didn't. Have me I m c freudians. Did even trust me don't right. So they threw me up on thursday and senator features. Like all. Ok, my career here we gotta, you know here tonight show here we come and then I didn't get another empty weak from that club or at work from that club again for years and then slowly but surely start working the other club and tell what absolute? Why don't we just features by adding nowhere They ve the manager. The club really liked me here and ride potential convinced that the owner of the club to give it to me so then I started.
Challenged myself to try to rights and clean jokes yeah. So I m c and learn how to do that and then eventually Sargon work that way when you very compelled. Now I mean I can I talk to you. You know you're different levels of enlightenment, you're, different stages of not do things are doing things you ve got your into minor trouble here- and there are various fly by the my apparently a little too much said dab, but you do have a system. What's the system, these days customers, you know I try to. I try to lock in do work every day to get myself motivated. I gotta hit the mountain guy, hit the mark god. What does that mean that for those of go hiking just get outside yet just get outside? get away from everything the andes dump, all that bullshit out medium navigators. I tried emitted on the mountain now, when you sit out, I just sit down, and I just kind of stare at a tree, of crystals on you now I do have crystals army now. Can I see yeah? I have them just tigers, I hand I just got some chris garcia.
Friend of mine. Yes, just the other night gave me a bunch of crystals is gifts, if we are doing a three year anniversary show of the show we do underbelly. This is tiger's eye yeah, that's supposed to like help me get money or something haha, and this is oh shit. How did I forget what this one was already was at all? That's apache patchy tears. He ask me it looks like it yeah, yeah yeah. That's busted, like I think, bring balance between na extremes of the gods, we're going to have because I'm you know sometimes I feel like you and I have that kind of relationship here yeah, I'm a little to overly optimistic. Sometimes in you can be a little bit more sceptical, so we can have a Yeah there's a balance, but I I think that, like I've grown to learn about you is that you're you're kind of painfully optimistic. Just because at any given point you can be sucked into a dark hole of fucking nothingness over breakfast. If you're, not careful, yeah sure- and I mean I also have the circle of solomon around my neck, which is supposed to protect you from the gin from the gym, the gym
in which is the dj. I n n, which are like the shape shifting shadow people tricksters of the night. there's this book. I was renown and I got while I was reading a book. I was and even comic, admittedly scared yeah. You mean oliver appears you can protect your business yeah yeah, that's the one! That'll keep you out of work. Good job misinterpreting the gin? That's that's! Where you're and that's the business Then there is I I get the fact to like pardon me, really love when there's like stigma attached to something, that might be. Could you never know, there's not a loaded things I get into like as far as one like the paranormal that kind of mystical stuff- and I do at alive. It's fanciful One time I was hiking and I was at the top of this in town, I'm looking at like there's a couple help Fine around planes were ascending some were landing and I remember thinking
of our man, you know A thousand years ago there may have been a human being ancestor just sitting. Wondering what all this could turn into someday and I'm ever even I'd number sang out loud to myself. Like ok, there's a lot to how much whimsie you can have some point without just floating off the globe. Ah you know so I gotta do try to It is important for me to get, grounded within reality at times. Do that I think I can avoid it now you can avoid. I mean because life line as yours not, but I think what we I see what you in, and I think you guys I've gone through my own crystal periods and conspiracy periods that you may make choices to two. Yet you have have some control? If you're not add your mind and you don't let yourself get out your mind over the year, the context of your perception do not
it's like you? Can it's like you, you know. Are there your foes not going to I'm going to choose to say no, because I don't have time yeah. I was like what can you fit? What can you fit into your mind? There might be you know it's fine, but like let someone else do that research and I'll be pleasantly surprised or terrified. when they show up, but I'm not I spend my life. I would be terrified, ok, fine! I know he put fine. Do you said that earnestness than you do know but like, but I That one thing front. I can assure you that we know is that You know you were wired with the ability to believe colleagues loop man right. Yes, a mystical, crazy blueprint, and it's like it's. So it's easy for me to latch onto this this other world right, but almost your mind don't know, and I believe that its it's more fun to believe I value will share with you. The quote from Tom gawayne that I share occasionally to mind is not a boomerang. If you throw it too far and we'll be right on the back yard, do worry about what you should you fuck yeah, I think
I got a decent grasp on the idea that you know you can only goes so far certain things I do like pushing to edges. What's this park ass, you do. Got me in paranormal you and how I put it up. I pulled up twice a week real, yeah! I know you are on tuesdays. I do like a half hour. call a thirty or bonus where it's just me doing, research on a subject that comes up a bunch of, for example, despite when up on the dew easy method we over her, the William S, boroughs rota, an essay on it. It's allegedly its tied into magic. He was like a pretty practitioner of K, magic. I know them a big bill, boroughs guy, but your teach me somebody out. We have the fuckin essay yeah span saint made a short film about based on it, when he was just out of the film school. I gotta will check that out. Yeah, it's it's pretty fast, that's tuesday! Yes, it out, coming to an end on fridays. I do the full length interviews with people who have like paranormal abilities are experiences like I.
Talk to a woman who was a medium. You know that's what her profession As I was ass past life hypnotized on one one. I recorded myself with a shane moss three part or where we did dm t together. Ya know really now is that that was crazy. So, when you go up to the farm and new hang out with the cows, occasionally that ground you yeah is pretty cool man like there's something very peaceful, well just kind of being back in nature and not being surrounded by, like you know, twitter and facebook, and all that shit don't get lost dude. You know, I'm, I think a ma. You know, I think I'm on the right path via my car is got the right Julia. I said the shit out that car too, we didn't need it cars of practical car- oh yeah, its practical, but I mean there's a lot of energy in there is little like slamming in reverse of a half a mile up a hill screaming what the fuck alright yeah. We you know it's been through some
not tarzan. Right so far, has it all yom taken taking it on a big trip you're in about a week, but it's good man, they're good cars, I love a man levy to body. Thanks are talking that's me and ryan singer again tonight: ryan singers, docks lab in san francisco. You get his new cd more. for now. Wherever you get, these funny odd, sensitive matter that right singer, the thinker so go to double the part that gun soon soon nothing's going to be different, everything's gonna be different, get some just Are we not call? I get on the mailing list, orders and posters. Do what you want leave a message. I yeah email mail me through there a. The The
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Transcript generated on 2022-09-07.