All right. Let's do this, how are you at the fuckers what the fuck bodies, what the buccaneers, what the fox news what's happening? A mark marin's My podcast wtf welcome to it good morning good afternoon, good evening today on the show we have Rachel Feinstein fine sign, which is it dammit shit on me, collar, hey, rachel is it finds the inner feinstein. Just want to double check. Yeah. I think I was going to say both in the intro, but then I decided. Why not? Why not say right! So it's feinstein, ok, I'll talk to you later by clarification. vines, nine! We got it. I will write to the source on that and I like,

kept you guys in the loop, so what's happening, Can we deal with a little business, new w g have cap mugs are available from Brian Jones up in portland, the are the same mugs I give to my guess. They go on sale, twelve noon. Eastern nine am pacific brian, our jones dot com. To get yours. Those these things, man that dude makes him himself on on a little wheel or, however, they do it, but he's a he's. An artisan and artist and artisan a craft whatever man, those things go fast? So now you know those of you who are listening and have not fast forward and now you know also tour dates, go through. All of them are go through the the ones coming up quickly: campbell hall, you easy sb in santa Barbara october, twenty first there's that there's largo here in los angeles and october twenty second, the ice house here in that sixteen october, twenty third and carnegie hall november forth. There are a few tickets wept for that are up in the in the balcony area, but

want to be part of that get bored I'll be the victim. in Chicago december. Third, for two shows, and now we'll tenancy november nineteenth at the James K, Pothier, those are the most current ones. I go to dvd pod dot com for the other day, so I can tallahassee durham charlotte feel connecticut. Portsmouth new sure newhaven connecticut troy new, burlington vermont thereon up there in their coming up in the new year, cyborg biogas, With that which will get to the meat of it I've been thinking a lot about things. I think this idea of did have not only with the election but with the just life in general. This notion of trust, your gut, you gotta trust, god. I don't know how old you are or what kind of like eve lead, but if you really make it who have columns. If you just list the times. Trusted my gut and how that went versus the time where my gut hadn't

impulse and, I said, hold on gut. Let's, let's think this through, I wonder: which would be way pros and cons? I wonder if the trusting you good idea, really holds up yet I don't know why you trust your gut unless it's media survival oriented or getting out of harm's way- or you know an instinct but you have, for your sake, in a moment, but in the big picture in the big overarching picture with that for thought in the future in mind why the fuck trust your gut. Why not think it through a little bit I mean, if you have the time to think it through here. You're feel got NGO like our right, I get what you want, but you I'm gonna, have to think about it. After put it through the the mental mill and see if that adds up- and I Some people have trusted their gotten done. Amazing things may have changed their lives by guarantee. If you had a

changing thing, are you did something, and you said- and I trust my got on this right after you rusted your guide ebro, down a little bit. I guess my point is, is that kenya really trust your guy. I care trust mine, I can't trust my instincts. I can't trust my my first. pulse. Usually you have. stage or its up my debit with life decisions. A romantic decisions, most the time my dick, not unlike my gut, has gotten me to trouble so I'm just saying, have a conversation with your gut you now, don't you Still immediately is that is crazy. If you think that's crazy, you got on this. What the fuck man, I been processing things. Something is happening to me. I don't it's a midwife thing. I think exhausted my ability to

I avoid myself, and I know some of you isn't a thing that you think like. Why doesn't sound like you're, really avoiding yourself? If anything, it sounds like you're, overly ano, analytical and self aware, and on top of all that shit, but a lot of If you play on yourself, distorted avoid the feeling to my feelings, keep bubble not man, I'm choked up, I'm Joe back tears, I'm set shootin is show with all these women. It's like me in fourteen women. Gas. Through this thing and they're doing things were acting, and there seems wrong not acting and I'm watching them, and I'm I'm I'm starting to squirt out tears. That's not in character, just because of the engagement. The acts of real, acting just things happening like weird little things move me. That means that I've got a it just a river of emotion that has not been addressed. Somehow or another I've been holding back no matter how forthright amor, no matter how transparent I am there still stuff being there's like

like a secret well of undue with shit that will start Can I just seeping through the cracks of your being and into your day to day life? So I feel to me like whatever was holding that shit back is starting to a road or starting to a down- and I don't think it's a bad thing. I think a lot of things have happened in the last few years and I know that Some of you can relate to this. Where, yes, things are: are either better or they're worse, but they are they is it is where were at their? no avoiding it, and now Where mean like? You can't avoid this shit anymore. That sort of a scary tat moment, but I guess gotta, let this should happen. I gotta let it come out. I gotta be ok with it. I just feel like the full, evolution into me, not being able to bullshit myself is happening and I'm not thrilled with it, because feels like a regression, but I don't think it is. it's actually growth, so

eyes when you're regressing, maybe that's where you fuckin left off and you start there. Maybe it's not actually a regression. It's actually you're you're defense system breaking down and saying hey, look, you know sorry but we had to protect you from yourself or at least help you have. Feelings. It was not a great decision but tat. We ve captain, art for a long time, and now we want to deliver you back to where you left off so enjoy, fourteen year old you in the morning in the emotions at that that flies and that you have and try to get up to speed as quickly as possible. So you can be a a functioning adult That's my argument. Is it aggression or is it just where you left off home God, emails right right haven't done that in awhile emails or some military oriented emails,

subject: new jersey veterans, love you dear mark, I listened to your pie, cast as I commute to my job every morning in new jersey from the pike ass, I started watching your show marin and then turn my guy robert under both the podcast and the show robert works with better if you're in new jersey at this transitional residential facility, there are vets who suffered from ptsd homelessness as well as drug and alcohol addiction. Most of them were over in afghanistan and have multiple challenges as they try and start their wives over labour day week and robert set up the tv in the common room, so the guys could watch them in thon. I f see a brute a big bought a copy and watched as the guy swot, he got into your show. They were cheering and yelling. At the tv there was laughing and hooting and hollering many identified with you and your antics we wanted to you know, you made a difference at day for these guys, they got a temporary reprieve from the demons and daily struggles. Thanks for you, thoughtful work in your podcast and tv show warmly kathy and robert thanks for that email is very nice I

can ever imagine I too have no idea how or where but listen to my show and it's always exciting to air to get emails another one kind of military based subjects, I figured I'd, give it a shot, what the hell hallmark, hey man, I know you're busy, I cut to the chase. You seem to be perpetually at war with yourself, while somehow being incredibly self aware, you're, transparency But this is admirable. I twenty year old paratrooper, who is good, a job and all the machismo that comes with it. However, I have daily and violent fights with an inner voice. Baiting me too self sabotage thing. I believe you can relate to how the fuck do you do. going through an existential crisis. If you can spare quick word of advice that be pretty colson. Im a fan, but if you don't, I won't stop listening to wtf or anything just figured. This would be cool if it worked out for me as pc, falco, troy, hey, hey, I tried I don't know what it looks like with your violent fights,

having you to self sabotage, but given your line of work given to those gesine. there's really only one option to say Natasha yourself and now, would seem did to be very, very negative and extreme option. I dont know I imagine. I would think that that if you have the opportunity to jump out of a plane and not die on a daily basis, that would put things in particular given that, given the adrenaline of that or maybe it's become a pass activity or a job that day. Some of that would be would be relieved, I yeah, I'm now I've got I'm having a slight existential crisis to know that that a paratrooper doesn't get any sort of adrenal relief from eggs central crisis by jumping out of a point just be careful. We be full and waded out. Yoda data a thing, but I have found overtime. If you live things ease,

get a little better and am in any relax things come less important. Man just stay alive, dont sabotage yourself as a paratrooper. Please could you thanks for this so Rachel Feinstein, very funny I'm glad she was here. You know I've known for a long time. We finally got around to doing this cause she's in new york. You can check website, rachel dash, feinstein dot com for tour dates, her specials and more stuff. I also want to mention before I bring rachel that shane moss came over the other day to do a deputy F episode he's very interesting comedian, whose evolved. A great deal to be up, couple weeks, but he starts he starts is sixty city toward it? Ain't, gonna, shame, moss dot, com for dates, he's doing massive, show themed show about whose agenda and neuroscience, I mean this guy is challenging himself, so check that out. That's emma! U s! S moss! Shame

stay calm for tour dates. So now join me, as I talked to the lovely rachel Feinstein dammit now join me as I talk to the lovely rachel Feinstein. You don't spend a lot of time. I hear now not that much I mean when I do come out. I still yeah not enough to have learned anything as I really have no idea. I am right. What are you doing out here? What is going on? I think nothing that important, mostly just hanging out my family really yeah, my brothers out here and my niece and nephew, so I've just been hanging out with them. What's your brother do he? He works in advertising and does some now show business guy now now yeah, he doesn't irritated, Yes, sir? He has a real life yet

the real life renew younger than I am we honest, decent light and honest decent life with the family and kids, and then I commend this rancid road woman, gypsy hurry foul, really at bringing all that garbage from the streets of comedy into his home. I get You feel, like I soil it with your nonsense, like em, whenever I felt my friends with kids, whenever they talk to me, they kind of change their voice. You know like almost like you're talking to a child going over child. You would I guess it's fair. Are you having fun I'm doing the thing you and that in the EU they get there? They talk to me in the same vein notice, my from my best friend that I'm gonna followed all the time he talks to her daughter, a lot on the phone re when I'm on the phone- and I my she uses the same say not always as as I have that yeah she's a daughter voice for me, go so what's what did you would was the shoulders you do get in words like it's hard nodded.

It is condescending. He had a little bit like trying to be nice, big, like it just feels like they don't acknowledge that what we do is a real thing than our in the real world yeah. I think she thinks it's like yeah she she definitely you know there are moments that it excites them, but for the most part they think it's an excitable right the sites, and when they see you on television there I growl she is doing something yeah work. She has a thing by leading after that you're? Just this freak who needs to grow up yeah right and I am- and I think, they're they're kind of correct. That's why it's painful like they should use that voice with me. Like I'd. Look at what my what I'm saying other all weaken their handling, real things there, and you know that I found for Christ's sake, I'm coming, how many voyages yeah you're you're coming I sleep in either. That's it. I ignore valleys day that I'm saying let them you are again and they want to hang out with my with a clear, the air, with care, how elderly their six and nine of its

fun. They had now their full form. My new funding is shit. My brother was like she's very sarcastic, and here is my brother was like she was telling a joke to hammer something really telling jokes and he, gave her like a fake, laugh you and how he was busy with nothing, and she goes. You know, you're fake, laugh, disgusts me fix you get gets yeah already onto the guy he's in trouble. So nobody, in this way, I heard no generals No me now I mean there's like an audition lake later today, but nothing There's no general meetings, this mass yeah. What are you the elevator? No meaning when general meetings is like, I I don't understand

and I know I feel like you're wasting their time and they don't know why they're talking to you and no that's all they do they don't do anything big. I guess that's the way they pretend they are just like Britain. Are there any clowns coming in today, yeah, I'm bored. Is there some comment, his hopes, weaken. You know, cannon so excited and then just send them back out on the street. You bring that to Rachel Feinstein here clown around like a little jack in the box. He does tricks for in them I have lunch. That sounds fun. I like you know I I said recently I was like you know, cause there is like they're like do you want to pass things up with some meetings. I was like really know because I just don't understand what they do. It seems silly. You know like and I and you know they were like somebody's again exactly

came out a little hostile in honour, and am I didn't mean it that way? Just I don't understand. I just said I feel good words: oil s yeah. What's the point of these silly general meeting its funding, which bespeaking of friends talking to friends and stuff it and then that the way they see your lives? I was leaving like a meeting like that, and I was on the phone with her and she is so. What do you do? You just go in and it she's right, like all her questions were reasonable manner. What happens is your sister in law? I know this was like my friend from high school and she's like, and then what happens? It's funny, though, because it's like they see you on tv and it seems really exciting, but then sometimes come out, like like my friend than a group with came out to see me at the show and you ever have where they like realise leg. Oh you're, not important? Like nobody respects, you know what I mean. They see me on t v and, and they came to see me at this club and it was so embarrassing. I hadn't seen this girl since, like high school and she yeah, I think she'd seen things identity on facebook says she was like rachel's like you know, she's accomplish some things in her life and people respect her and I'm on stage, and I was trying to like

an especial and everybody is like ignoring me and the sky goes and let all my show just goes on you, the camels. like? You said it loud? Oh, my god, and then everybody in the audience was like staring at my cried. She, unlike an eye I didn't feel that I had a camel toe. I felt like that. Wasn't and I looked down and I was like assessing it, and now I don't. I couldn't think of anything funny to say, but just like that's kind of like very sort of specific- personal and vulgar, and I didn't have a candle to amend this woman goes now the way the light hits your pants. I thought this and they were discussed. Does it often it while you day while I was on stage they broke up until I gather discussing and arguing over whether I had a camel tell or not. I could just see my friend in the audience is looking at me like this. Is your life yet this is your life. What did she do? What's your friend? Do she blake works for walmart like she does some sort of any? I dont know thing I want is a very difficult period too

to be to do or we do not have enough to show for our like regular people. Do not see it as a valid. Until everybody knows who you are here ain't it. weird, and now it's even harder, because the guy gets even more specific. Even when you do a big thing there I don't get that channel like. Where is that, like I have a series on tv? Is that a it do? I have that on our cable. I don't know what, like back in the day, edit tv shows, like I'm gonna fucking tv show. Now it's like. I don't think we get it yet at the end of my parents can't watch anything. It's too overwhelming Where did you grow up? I got them bethesda, Marilyn, rarely, buyer by DC yeah did you ever do chip franklin's rooms yet its hands format. You know, I think my dad did something viewing book. Other things besides, I don't know you're like a musician. I think he might have done is a comic year be actually the use there is, I think the ramada bethesda used to have a comedy club in case.

I gay you know and he would host the shows, maybe he booked other shit. I think I could say I know I did some like hotel in bethesda eight years ago, like I bombed in some oh yeah and hotels, Thus I dont member which one it was though, but it might have been had demanded that game of any will you I. It was invalid as day right o at and I like you for a headliner, yet any member who was I just remember it was there must have been that room now on even doing it now, lakes. Seventy! oh my god, I'm like it so weak ass, our memory when you actually not sancho August six, six sixty I remember you when you were a child, I now ask it really young. I knew you and worth area is twenty years old like I remember seeing you around- is that right yeah new york, yeah you're, like a contemporary of my axes, right you and me kind of started same time? Yes and you guys we're doing then yeah. I can't I can't fucking believe you ve been around there on yeah

I started. I just I never went to college so I just I was just there in new york. You're just allow jewish girl yelling on stage in different voices disk. What do you mean? I just look at all times myself. You know even new orleans and I'm just like what I ever need to say like just for the love of god who shot up really but but that is what you worked out. All these good characters and things have been like you ve, he's been around them so happy. I ve been doing it so long, and now in this is the first specially. Do you always nice to me when I say when I would go to the table? It I'd be terrified at the seller here and I you know they used to do this thing that they would go rachel come here and then I look lean in you know. I was like right after I got off stage. I thought they were going to give me a compliment. You know when you're, like opening up your body language, get your compliment. They would just you know like at the table. They just me over and had in real close. I gather beat it right. I thought I go. There can tell me that I had a good like now, of course, not,

It's testing you, but I remember you would watch them. You didn't really participate in much of that. You are always very like kindly towards me. You know I never understood the dumb games. I I hate being a victim of that shit, where say your name then pretend I they didn't say it. Yes, that thing that they did they? Where was I patrice and Norton column was usually pretty nice, but he didn't stop any of it from app. nice, you, because I thought that too, you think I was a will frightened everyone. I thought you didn't like me, you're afraid of me, cause you're I was when I was like a scared little and it was like a scared child. I know, but you gotta get a lot of swagger really so I remember it was a slovenly mess. I remember I used to wear overalls, every right, you're also sweaty overalls, and elizabeth swarthy girl, the youth had come, run, kind, sweaty and shadows jacked out, and I get a dirty fish

I remember I wore overalls every day and you know DC benny who's this. The guy in the world. Now he was so gentle with anybody. We aside one time I wore the same overalls eddie I was like you know you. Can We see something else that you know like he was like, you mix it up a little yeah and he was so gentle with me. That's what it is. I still remember because, like every you know, like all you guys, just like so intimidating to have the smallest exchange was magnified in that you know. I think I thought maybe like I was hoping he was going to like hit on me or something d c, and he just gently told me that I should stop wearing these. And then somebody heckled me and scream like get off stay super mario brothers and add heckled traumatized mean after till I get rid of the overalls when, like I can't get on good hackles, camel toes superman. Super mario brothers, like their of woman, they're gonna, call you because you're opener only overalls by this kind of funny. It's only on what I would say to you

that's funny that you are intimidated by because I was so dirty? Why? Why do I peter your new data to ride sure. I know we're roommates for many years. That's it, but we never dated, and in fact it's funny and yeah I mean they. He brought over many girls and we were living together that and they had to walk through my room to get to the bathroom new york and it was so embarrassing. I was having to have these like weird conversations with these. Just like insecure girls are like pulling their t shirts down. You know I guess you're. I would bring me unlike what, before they hooked up and we all have a beer together in road and even greater command, and I think he we too will be part of like the oiling process. You I mean like and I'm comfortable baggy he's ok, yeah, and then they trusted him more because of me, like always, at this female room, and am I go now you your mom, terrible decision right now, yeah an animal like him in tone. At the time, tony rock rockin shariah was

three of us. We deal. Those bringer shows together, ryan. They would bring over so many girls, but it was hilarious to just kind of terrorize me with how much ass they were getting here and then they made a rule that I could never bring over any guys, even if I was in a relationship with the guy, they were just like nah no dummy. No, they just thought it was funny to you, though, once but they terrorized him to a point that it wasn't worth at all. I just thought it was funny. You ve just drive me crazy. If I was dating anybody, they just what thou founded hilarious, just the idea that me thy bring my dumb body out in their day. It was funny to them you differently as you did then living which arise for years. Yet we actually moved together again like we, we lived in one place. May we move to another you now I like em, really fun. Guy, I mean he's, you know he's it's like all. Those years of my life like that, most people are college or do whatever. I may was just me sure, I'd and tony said they're, like my family

yeah at and end charades, when shroud would be fucking girl in his room. Often he would have one of his brothers sleep in my room cause they would be staying with him. We'd have to definitely have to clean out when he was going to bang some girl, so you have to just sweep with I'd often sleep tat his youngest brother. We call him dewey. Yeah, I'm kenny, and so he would being the bad next to me. You know this. Nineteen year old kid we ve just like fall asleep next to each other and chat room. Why? What's wrong with this report? The place was: so crazy. We used to just refer to it as squalor who beggar eat you back and squalor. The showers in the kitchen was just an unacceptable one of those like weird for our law. My shower like that with the tub that was hidden. Yes, is it all right? There did have I got? No, there is no tab. There is only a shower next to think and there is no tub now. Oh, my god, that's like a rat flat, the I get one of those like weird tenement buildings,

yeah. Where was it tat was on our seventy fifth street between first and second, it's amazing what we used to put up with a new york. and for a living situations. Crazy. I thought I mean I thought that was cool like I was like telling everybody out like I'm living in manhattan. They get off my dick meanwhile rise living in squalor. I as no there? The worst is unacceptable. And you're paying like what fifteen hundred two thousand hours for that time. I think we are paying something weirdly cheaply got like a rent, aurelia, no money out of the nanny during the day- and I was now you need for many years- yeah that really dead yeah. How many people did you know for without, like every everyday thing yeah. I would do it five days a week. one family stand up at night: yeah you're, right, part of their family as part of their family, and I was really attached to that. These kids, you know also because, like I hadn't, I wasn't able to keep a job before that. So that was like the first job that I could keep for long periods of time cause I really loved kids. How do you become a nanny, though? Do you have to?

They have fill out paperwork because there is a has service. There is a service that I found and, and I went and I yeah I done some babysitting in highschool, and I used it to do this like after school program in DC, to make extra money when I was a teenager, so I use like a reference for that and I just started taking care of kids. There cause I like kids, a lot right after high school. He started taking care of kids well, first first, when I moved to new york, I move when I was seventeen. Really your parents is what you do that here there are like sounds terrific, get yeah get out there. Like a gravely liberal to point. There was like the little baffling like I moved to new york with this guy is banned called dick sister annexes. I lived with dick sister yeah

wait your daddy's. There was a missing a midget musician, not a magician a musician. He was I yet he was pleased. He is please musician lets you play. He plays piano inside accordion, really in again in a band he's. He goes by the name hurricane. howie hurricane Howie, but he plays in a variety of vans like around dc and stuff. He's amazing he's he plays all by ear. You know piano and accordingly, on a car and was a jewish blueskin guy. He was a civil rights lawyer for many years before I was born. He was like prosecuting kkk cases and stuff like that in the south and really air, and now he teaches civil rights and he plays blues yeah like use classic jewish were brought classic activists dude. Yes, totally. How old is again, I think my dad's like

I want to say what I think about this. I think he's like sixty seven now so was he part of like the original civil rights movement, stuff yeah like going down there for freedom summer down south and marching in things here. I don't know like. I know this that he went and he worked out at the department of justice and he prosecuted hate crimes, and so he prosecuted klan murders and reinforced brown vs board of education laws. He basically be prosecuted police officers for cross burnings and really murders in the south, and so he would often go down. You know: is this jewish guy howie black partner young. They would go to these towns and numb and they hated them there and they would go and sit in these restaurants that are supposed to be theirs, say there, integrated bright, they weren't really in some they would go sit and just piss

everybody off, and then they would often stand like fake names and stuff, because you know they were death, threats against them for sure, and then they would go into these schools like the schools that were really enforcing brown versus board of educational dad would said it did. Sometimes they would give them. I got a child's chair to sit on in the hallway, just like humiliate them in these variety of ways, because they will come there and they're. You know coming they worked for the government, and so they asked to see certain documents and things and they got gusher. We got your papers, yeah? Then they go here. You go in the main, bring out some kid chairman for in kindergarten really elaborate on his lap yeah. So he did that for years. He did that for years, yeah and then he retired now you just a blue sky and a teacher. Now then he got like, I think around the time I was in seventh grade, or so he ended up, but you know they weren't prosecuting as many

K, K, k cases where I and the other an hate crimes for he was a k K carry specialist, he didn't just specialise in kkk, but hate crimes in georgia, but they weren't they weren't, prosecuting they just weren't taking on as many civil rights cases at the time and yellow and department of justice was like inhibited and variety of ways. Also, it wasn't as bad as it used to be wrong, and so he ended up getting any had three kids living in bethesda, and so I ended up getting this job at kind of like a private practice, firm yeah, but he hated it and I remember being really nervous. I was like dad can't do that. Like dad's, weird, It also has my use strange yeah you now he is. I got hippy jus yeah, jew yeah like wordy employer a he. Would he often like flex his own head? He does a lot. You know he's really he's a bizarre head. Flickr. Yes, he's a head! Flickr he's just a bit.

our but brilliant guy, but not anybody that could do small, talker, smooth people or anything like that. You now here my dad, like, I think he moved to bethesda because he taught me because he liked there used book and record stores sure so he does you know he didn't. He just would keys one of those guys he would say bizarre sense of humour. He was very. You know he's very odd and I just would like he can't dad can't humility and one that can be in their aim in the organised world adds poor horizontal. He wears like an undersized like how and wolf teacher with saying on it. Every day you got alley coming out without any to any got laid off. He didn't and he d hate it Now you know, and then he was hard, because my social is a worker full time for and then there are three kids. So your mama was a social worker who yeah? Is she still she's where's. Yet these are no. This is noble breeding. You come from good, progressive, carrying

boy really are? Who want to change the world their real really kind, and they do and not, and not just one working when they're not working at these amazing insane jobs, my dad he he has this. He has like a foundation that helps women get out of situations with that where they're trying to leave domestic violence are around a violent homes, situations and they volunteer, unlike break the other, just constantly doing thing irrational every he every let every like liberal presidential campaign there. Just always anything. They say there actively doing you now berwick people like there. There people they do the real work, yeah, really helps people yeah in a way like on a daily basis. In their way they are servicing the out the people that are in apple time? And it's like So in my mind, I there's a lot of people to do that, but you never hear about them, because there too, fuck em busy there's a lot of you want to talk about. What should

b die in court. What needs to be done, but there are people like your parents, are going to work everyday in dealing with that insanity dealing with it yeah I mean, and it's funny it's it's like yeah. The rest of us were I'm going out about our opinions, and this should be like so, and that should be like sir I saw but yet no, they actually do it and my dad you, my dad, wrote a book about his days prosecuting and and even when he did his book, he p had all the proceeds go to some the keynote charities of their victims of this. staff and the real. Even that I was like. Oh dad, justly keep. How do you know what I mean like he's honestly book tour, but it's just like there are like that like there are the kind of people like if they get extra change back in a pay phone there, like all that's, not mine, I'll leave it right, taro hurt it real almost to appoint words. I car breaking you now. I just want to be able to do it. You know, make sure now and we're going to help them what did your dad grub, india? You know your grandparents were they, like you know like, like his parents, were they like new yorkers, like ideas. How did you know

yeah. What goes right? There see to be some sort of chain of history like those people that kind of aid something themselves among the soup. the jewish story. In my mind, yeah, you yourself are you a story is absolutely correct that they they they they struggled. They did all right, they put their kid through college and then you know he became a decent guy and and go the other way. You know where you're just like him, bunch of money, yeah I think I think his parents, I think he wanted to be a musician. And he wanted to play blues. His parents said our political anyway, you be a doctor. You'd be a lawyer, and so he, like okay. Well, then I'll do civil rights law, because it's something I believe in and then he found himself in this kind of soul, sucking job after civil rights and then he was very depressed and so then, as he may go now, he plays blues again now, that full time really yeah answered you grow up in a house for records. Yes, like everywhere, yes, so many records, I mean we would go to this.

could store. That was my dad and I was how we spend our sundays long lectures about the importance of one record overnight. That would be like seven. I really didn't understand what was referring to, but I love. This is why this is a decent record. Look at this right here, like some records, are there's always like a cat like walking around in it, and my dad was like trying to explain to me why this record was so much more important and why I needed to respect it, and I was just like and we get ice cream now that sunk in now and now it does now. It does much more. You know, and he got me into all that music and stuff too, but I think I think when I was a kid I didn't. He was weird I had a weird sense of humor and like sometimes that would embarrass me and now I realize that completely informed my sense of humor, you know, but he was just so bizarre, like he had this band called the vomit tone. Oh, he thought it was hilarious to just call us ban, the vomit tell you they knew it embarrassing. He also godson, agile,

that right and so the vomit tones they would play what they referred to as a tour which just consisted of linked the gigs in Michigan yeah and my dad called it the hands across your anus tourist, where this hands across your anus, the vomit tones. You know, break out tour entity come to pick me up in school and I was like god, dad's gonna be wearing the vomiting sure you know, and now I'm like that's hysterical right, but at the time I'm like Jesus dad. You know he would howl they would practice in my basement, my dad was always howling yeah. He just to howl and then some of them would moon after their performances, my death and he didn't moon as much as the others, because he said because his ask god to sweaty don t get up from the piano put up with Alice yeah. I think she was. She was definitely like my dad drove her crazy there, together their cell together yeah so great story. Yeah yeah I mean they have. You know they have their moments but there, but there very. I think they like they see the world

why are they and they admire each other and that's definitely kept their marriage together, as we have a sister to now, just two brothers, two brothers to one's out here ones out here were the other one he's Marilyn's would do. he's he's a social worker. Like my mom he's a therapist and he works school in em in DC he went to the peace corps. He's like my mom's. My parents, can you know he's like went to the peace corps for years? Learn to speak. Spanish ends fluently so now he does work with kids in this sum school in DC allotted the kids. I'm coming through. He immigrated here legally or something like that. So they're they're, dealing with the repercussions of going through various trauma, so my brother works with those kids and he's a doll he's just like the loveliest person, you know the bitter both like that my brothers are like ridiculously just like kind good

men and there's just a sweaty girl wearing overalls. Is this animal trying to trying to do stand up comedies flailing around doing these disgusting things playing at these disgusting place using foul words, but what is oh man, think about year comedy you know my dad loves that he will support it. He was the one who like when I moved to new york with dick sister, and I was like more what the fuck was dear. It's just as bad happened to that guy? He dumped me pretty sooner, to remove any organ was really embarrassing. Cause I'd like to said, told ever I'm going to new york, and I may like a big out of a very proud here, it's going to be a comedian in new york and I'm going to move there addict sister, who is so in love with, and then he dumped me pretty soon after he got there and it was kind of awkward cause. My dad like came back and had to sort of like repack.

We can take me back com like us, and then he served on dumped me and I didn't have any sub state with the times. A look. Ok, I'm not don't! You know your battledore really says dark age, young guy, you know whatever and then so we we live together and then I think I don't know if I hear if he re dumped me or how I left, I don't remember and dumping and read them every frame like. I think he read time and dumped and then you're re dumped yeah cause. I can see me dumping him again because he was all I had there, I'm pretty sure he read dumped me and then I I met this woman on the train on the greyhound bus actually and It's going back and forth to maryland on the weekends you know cause. I was working a little bit in maryland on the weekends and I miss my friends, and so she I she was this big sweet, bengali, lady and she likes shared her bagels me. I was weeping about dick sister and I was like really upset and so you could live with me, so I moved in with this bengali family in queens and I live with them. But how is that

you have which arrived. You live with guys you're doing the same work? Is your parents and some weird wages on my mom young people together as long as something like dark? My mom has no questions, let so ever if their beige darker she's, like anything you do at them, is fantastic you're bringing The gathering, dick sister was five years older than me, like. I had enough that statutory rape or not, but my mom, is not a question in the world all really by Adam. Was he dark dick sister yeah? I think he was half black or something I borrow it has some cock ethnic cocktail was and yeah and then and then the bengalis, my mom loved, that yet I'm so weird with anything around indian food, I'm like that must be great just to have their food and the food was awesome all day and actually that's kind of

I like how she sold living there to me like when we were on the trip, the the bus. I remember she was describing our life. She was worried. You know she felt sad for me because I was this girl weeping over some guy on my dirty overalls and she was like she was like you come to live with me and she kept saying like we'll take in a certain kind of braddock, remember what it was called, but she was going to take bread and will take rye just his colleague, ria king and as he has a pleasing- and you said in the mornings, big marmalade, and am I guess, that's all I wash it was morning and down and take marmalade. That sounds like that was it. I was like I'm donald hurl. My body was wearing a story or somewhere that was in Woodhaven queens like way out way way way out in queens so and they did what they had. We had lovely mornings, I was just part of their family and I would where I would go to their weddings in part these and I were sorry and for how long for a few years a few years when your like eighteen nineteen, think at that point. Maybe no eight, maybe eighteen you must have an eighteen year are so you eve.

you're here, lefty jewish parents, to go to new york with with dick sister disaster that guy back and forth in me a bengali woman on the on the bus and you just move in with them. Anyway. I'm part of your family, you gotta weddings, non bread and whatever. Yes, that's what they have. and white wendy start doing comedy I think I was still living with a bang Ghali's. No, no! No! I wasn't living at them. I was doing I was. I got fired from a couple of jobs. I I worked at ass? He had no real plan of the then do like this. I wonder, is family. I wanted to be in their family. I think- and I wanted to do, that with your job. What I wildly bengali, I didn't feel this love of these people. Honestly, I think I was so lost and like to press as just glad that I found like somebody there too

Me company, you know and- and it was like isolating cause. I had no when I broke up with the dick sister guy. I fell in love with this or not fell in love, so not a proper use of that term, but I I Had this big crush on the pizza guy on the corner, it would haven that anyone haven where I go this way going from the slaves guy, and I thought it was so high and I would just go sailing therefrom for alike use a good italian marietta here, and I would just go sit in there for like when I think about this now. I must have terrified him for, like a haunting period of time, just cause. I want to be neurons. They thought it was high in area. So I just sit in their unlike ito out a pizza. and we'll get him kind yeah. I think I thought I was being kind of demurely key pretending to be in it. maybe he must have known and for hours every day like wants to twilight, hymen I definitely an unstable amount of time spent in there and I we're getting ready for him, like you know, just like thinking about him at night and what I was going to wear the next day, just hoping he was going to hit on me. She never did yeah

anna and everybody in the family. You know that the ban Ghali's all knew about my leggum relationship yeah with the pizza yeah, and I was just go in there and set cause. I because also it's like besides, Bengali family, I didn't have any friends, my age or anything, and I was just really lonely, so I would go and sit in all these. I spent a lot of time just sitting in france. Did you do that, like the us wanting like wanting to talk, Why have I have a similar disposition? I don't know what it is where yeah you want to feel connected or or it's eve to work like he sort of feel. I felt that way on time like I was. I didn't, have a whole personality that, like I'd, have to go way to engage Just somebody did to kind of figure out why I fit in and who I was, and I used to spend a lot of time doing that in restaurants. I dunno, if that's what your trip at least you would talk to people all the time. Yeah yeah like I just it's a lonely. but it was almost like. I don't know what working for, but when I look back on it, I dont think I really knew who I was. How old were you the same? Without

through high school- and you know maybe my early on- but I mean I start doing comedy when I was you know: twenty twenty by the time I started drinking, got to college. I developed an aggressive demeanor, but I think deep. Down like when I was in high school. I used to just sit around the college restaurant. Where I worked just talk to crazy people cause. I was like they know something they got. It figured out, the outside other people have figured out. I know, and that's how I felt too, like they're real and then I have to figure out how I'm supposed to do things. I never had that many opinions. I always just started figuring out what my opinions were supposed to be based on. You know, in terms of like not like political or worldview. Just in terms that I haven't. I leave you to how to lead the way I know I like I felt like I didn't. I didn't know I gotta go. I went to college over then you just sort of like your afforded for years to did not know how to live in a context where yours, learning. You know I would say There are various ravages standing in my sink washing the cap ball glad my own house how the fuck did. That happened like what how do you like? I wasn't designed to know how to do this.

I know it's It's funny, though I know exactly what you mean, I always like say that of the egg. I always feel like I'm just like not I don't have a real life na MIKE I'm, not a woman like how might be able to use that term. You know like I don't it's weird I dont, like, I guess, other people, like your sister. Like her, I mean your brother into a life like this is like a design this our life is supposed to work yeah, the planned on that shit. Like big house family, never thought about it. I remember the sky and I would like out his family in the kitchen- and I remember, I believe, can help. I think big. sniff, that out on you and I remember they Give me things to do in the kitchen. Whenever I'd ask his sister, who has like a real adult, if I could help her, she would give me the same things that you would give like a kid that was playing pretend in the kitchen. You could stir this, but then she would give the other. Ladies, like real thing to do I'd shot actually help yeah they'd be chopping. I would just be like fake stirring nearby sharing what I want to go ahead and stir this samara. A simple girls here, yeah

That is why the under the lost girl montraville use for what the fuck is that. So why because I definitely I definitely felt that, but it seemed like you had support like decent parents who what why were they? So so, involved, or did that you felt detached from it. Why did you like it like you would aware and how to be a like a good. So I will I loved my kit. I've always loved kids and I think they define taught me how to be. You know a kind and writer I worthy and rise god you. How do you know what you wanted to digest? Didn't I didn't while also ike. I had failed so wildly and like school. I you know like a lot of communism, tourism original tail, but they I got. You know these and after never took my essay teasing and so I was just so insecure about not knowing I would be able to live like you said, you're right. You're yeah function to charm your way through school. Somehow and you won't be important classes barely graduate and even take my essay cheese and undertake authorities. I took a cities,

thirty reality. What is that? I don't know it was some west glee. Always I grew up in new mexico and you could take these ac tease. I never took s eightys, but there, there is another. One is right there, the second one, the bee level college entry call, I believe they were called aisy tease, but no one ever knows what they are, because everyone took s eye The light I just knew I wanted to be smart and I wanted to hear things by didn't, I never had a plan of what I want to do for years now. Just walked into a comedy that seems to cover everything yeah

but I didn't have a you like you had information earlier, like I think you did. You know my dad was one of those information guys like he knows all right I wanted. I do assure you are saying that we want to be your dead. I want to be like that guy, just one ever wider records and began pardon you know about music and and be intellectual somehow, for you gave off that via that's what these struck me. As one exciting, that's all I wanted to do that who deafening succeed in it now, but I think even than you did we, I was in pursuit of some knowledge, but it never anything do with making a living like that. I was right way has never even came into like I'm going to be, I'm going to figure it out, I'm going to write some poetry going to, placing undue. This can stand thing and never. There was never a sort of like how do I get you make a money to live yeah. It is Fine, I'm- and I felt like that so much because my fear was like wolves idle, make money to live, and I cant figure this out as getting repeatedly fired and stuff. I like, I can now

It's going to help me and my parents have no money and I don't want to be any strain on them ever like now. I just want to be able to help them somehow, so it's scary cause, I just I was just afraid I was going to You know not be able to pull anything and then, like still to this day, I think I was so insecure like at school. I don't know how you feel about it, but when I walk into a school even now, yes smell a school yeah. I just feel sad cause. I I just did it was just this place. I went and felt like. I wasn't smart. So long. I just felt like I was in like I was able. I was funny enough to move through. You know why Friends I had. I desperately wanted to be around people's right wedge my my way into groups of people, the guy yeah, but but I dont know that I felt dumb. I just felt like a little detached from it. Like I dont you are watching the kind you I gotta remember. I was thinking about that recently. I don't remember doing any homework ever I dont remember doing it. I didn't I got these like an algebra chemistry. I got I I failed.

they gave me an e which wasn't even a real gray. We got is to you got these two silly thing to look at and eat, but even in English I was just like half asleep all the time high school was just this can we exhausting uncomfortable time. For me, I get in my book The thing was I never my parents never like. I could They never help me do home. I literally dont remember doing any homework. I don't. I dont think I did either. I remembered everybody always being upset with me, just like red shall pulley like for the love of you know like, and I felt like. I was terrorizing my family, india and I like flailing nonsense, but I I don't think there was much struck. you know I like, and I kids really need that. I think that's what I was when I was like a nanny. I started working with this sum. district child that I felt really found love with bulgaria and for years. I think, because I felt so sort of developed like a very structured system for him to

learn to write in ireland and I think it was because and why I felt like I was the first job by god and did well at was because I just It probably projected a lot of myself onto him off but like I would get you know he had trouble. If I would give him like a piece of paper and say: okay go throw that away and he would get lost here stop between where he was standing in the trash can and he would just move his head back and forth, and I related to that feeling. Vienna yo yo, I get it like. I get not being able to make it to that trash can out and he was just stock in the middle of the room size like you're gonna, make that trashcan and back and say what you wanted to say afterwards. You know and duty he didn't mean it was up. I mean we're with him for many years, but we just started doing this thing where it's like. Okay, I press a on the keyboard. You press a on the keyboard, I press b, you press p and just I just Didn'T- want to up on him, because I felt maybe again I pray project.

A lot of myself and a few structures that he gave me a structure for sure. It's like I learned so much in that job cause. I learned how to be an adult and how to feel productive and it's funny cause. It's like. I was organizing his life, but then I you know had really betty D, That's so I would leave things all over the house. Whenever I go there, I just sort of shed things in rise, debit cards, things around the city and I remember the mother had as like, delicate little pile for me on the cap, like rate nearly how'd shyly. Surely this is your pile of the things you left. If you now just pieces of debris that I'd, let me around the house, there was so funny that I'm like structuring, hurt side and then we were do things like just practice bright in the bus across town and back and take in and then also expressing himself, because he he just seemed like he had fascinating thoughts. They could tell by the way you know his expressions and that he was trying to say what he felt really stuck

we just kept practicing and practising annum, and then he started writing and sentences. I mean it was so fascinated to alert and hearing what he was really thinking. Yeah well. Well that yeah, I think more, that I think that like I think that sort of pigs it because, like it sounds like be, your parents were- so supportive in that specific way, which is progressive, that they were almost two permissive, like you didn't, have any real boundaries or order. The point around things, you're kind, after your own devices, because they had faith in you yeah. Then you just end up like it's, not that your damn you just sort of like you end of kind of stuck in a kind of like if you dont have a focus for yourself. You just can be like. I never really figured it out yeah, I felt very unequipped to be yeah. I think that in my mom would say that two issues like we realize now, if we didn't give you a new structure like right and because, especially with kids, I have problems focused,

I'm paying attention he needed to feel calm inside sir, I I will go to school and I always have my hair dripping down. My back, and so I remember that, unlike what, how did that happen, like my hair, was always dripping down? My back, I think I was over whelms leaving getting to school over one. In my mind, you know stuck. It was just that same thing that they have more like stuck between the debt. The thing that advantage can have no sort of like you, not you, don't have any structure any real, waited to sort of them. came yourself: everything's, fuckin, exhausting yeah, you just sort of like yours. It's all happening, everything's happening at once. You can't compartmentalize exactly right, and I want to be able to do that and like and learn how to kind of make decisions and so an I felt like that with the kids and then I think with yeah. I think when, with through this relationship with him, a really help me to learn how to china for myself and and and feel like. I was purposeful and hair of something to, and so well like we watch this movie. I wish that this move

helen Keller and there's a scene in it where it was the old movie yak harold, it's called on linking AMOS. My name is famous famous family was play to girl and her teacher. Am she circle work miracle, worker, yes and is a fascinating theirs. In the movie, where she's trying to get her to sit down and and eat her food riots and sit at the table. Be a part of everybody and do it. India, she's, like playing every everywhere and slamming at all over the place and every time that choice old slams that were Helen keller like slams, that food the table she slams it back in and it's this very kind of like aggressive in but she's not gonna, give up on her. She she's no, no, no, you know every time she does something destructive or insane or yes, as you know, that way, that a lot of us feel growing up like fuck. You anyway, don't give a shit. What you I wasn't school, but I did care I'm here. I wanted to, you, know, be involved and create

things I just didn't know how so it's easier to you know, be sarcastic and, and so and she is sort of like explosions at the table and they keep I back and forth, and I remember I was sitting with him my childhood caravan here. He was typing any tight out and he said it's funny because it's this violent scene, but there is no violence in it. Only love, and it was just like such a remarkable thing and I I still think about like and that was as was really learning to talk. You know he'd been written off so much, but he was brilliant good, you know, and so then he and he was right. It's like the scene looks very violent, bright lots of flailing around madness in food flying everywhere. But she's really just saying to her like no more make a structured system for you so that you can be yours, flower is there's really cool, because I still remember how you like this is such a decision I write. I'm begging you had to put that altogether yourself, so you're, putting that together for you and the kid from

it's all movie of you know a very famous case of of of attachment and transcending yet you know this go liabilities in handicaps. That's wild, because I never we thought about it before that. You know you have perfectly loving parents, but because of the way they saw the world, they gave you freedom, which kind of fucked you a little bit yeah a little too much freedom in and I mean I feel like every the where I land is all because of by a lot of its because of them, because but sir, I definitely certainly feel like they could you know, that's the thing I didn't get, but any I got the most important things because I remember when I was young and and when I wanted to when I saw two thought about trying stand up, but I felt you know scared and I was like- maybe I thought like. Maybe I want to move back to dc and just be near my friends cause I'm. I feel kind of lost here and I told my dad I still remember being on the phone them and seeing like, I think, I'm gonna go back home.

Go to community college and just sort of like start over again and be near my friends and said and I'll never forget the conversation cause. He said. Don't do that, like yo you're going to die inside, you said you wanted to be a comedian state stay in new york and do that don't come home and lived some sort of gelatinous existence for a few years later. I would that help you get to where you want to go think those primarily hard for him to say they do you think he was. You know scared and about me bianti arc. but I wanted you to at least try anyone media really try he's like now. Now I think you should do that again Well, I never really thought about comedy that way for people that have that weird can overwhelmed like feeling. the world liking. I dont know how to do things, that comedy, you note once you get in it, like it's very specific, go up there at first for four minutes Do this, like the this structure, is very simple: I'm right this shit down, go up there and try and then that's it. That's that

structure yeah? That's all of it and then what you get into it. You can spread it out like gonna do more time and I got but its very or simple than their most thing. like you know what you want, your job Y gotta, some shit down. I gotta make the people laugh with nets it, and then you get this building community of of other misfits. So is weird acceptance in the family of comedians everybody's fuckin freak and fly and weird and living in a different times on than normal people like the perfect place, p that don't have structure your eye. you know and also like you, you have to do it. That's the good thing about santa too. It's like there's, no sliding ikea. You can't you get up there and even even with your spot time, I can't be rolling and it ain't. No eight fifteen of your on page, eight or unsafe today, or somebody else's right, there's no way we can be accepted into the family. If you don't do it and even if you don't do it well, the get worse backed. You know, France,

for trying and for doing something, different, yeah, yeah, it's like and also I think For me, it made me feel like it was the first thing they made me feel like. Oh, maybe I'm smart because you know I'd meet other smart com if people like you that were more obviously intellectual to the that writing me and my dad and I always felt like? Oh, I have these smart parents, but I'm not you know technically smart, and then I I I was like these group, this group of people that I myers that you know to me there are some of the mai come the comics. My my dearest friends, I feel like oh I'm lucky I get to hang out. People with the most smartest extraordinary, my that and then that made me feel also like. Maybe I'm smart, yeah they're hilarious there. It's like no matter all the shit. We talk. It's like we're so absurd, illegal amount of fine, oh yeah, talking to each other. I and people in their they're all unique thinkers and they work shit out on their own yang out at me. Like there's some in a very raw away, a lot of us we're all figuring shit out.

Yeah. We all have in part in so much about work. Comedy is your point of view What are you doing? What makes you different? How are you like special I think about it, but the guys we know you really think about those guys even like it there at the table and at the sour you like patrice nor, geraldo rest, their souls, the ones who are gone, Carl and they're all pay four unique people with very unique point of view. Yeah, I remember having those became keith, our kids, why the funniest people higher world the earth keith is made me cry laughing peeve, Robinson yeah he's around with gandia hysterical. I mean it's, my eggs. We are doing this road trip a long time ago and it was like mean Keith and Kevin heart, and I Keith was Keith mrs teasing me about my dad being a civil rights lawyer yeah here he is like he does

I wanna kill rachel and I'm to have a dad defend me cause I'm going to call them up, and I'm going to say this is the case. That's going to make you a star as really dark for kiva yeah, but it's like a it was funny because I he was hysterical. He was like one of the funniest people I ever met at that point, life on my aser skywriting, so much fun, india, so funny, and but I remember just like talking to this group of people and unlike ok, so you don't have to dispose of those parts of yourself too. You now to oh you're right, you can embrace him and that's the only thing it's where that we still get or that you do. I don't know that I get as much anymore, but is weird, security, around people that have What we assume is a normal life is that, like we live a much more interesting life than a lot of people, but there is still something back of our heads like in a wider. I have the trappings of what seems like us, stable. Class life were actually we

we are the ones that they should be going like. What? What is your wife like? Who are data condescend? I think it shallow and it is a cent we condescending for them to be like so this weird thing you did yeah. I'm out there live in a weird ass life. Yeah doing things you can never imagine who are you'd think that this is like I know exactly what's going on here, yeah exactly and I really do size it out, pretty quick they're, pretty sure they're understate, it's funny you're right cause like it's weird, sometimes I you know like in different hard moments of my life or painful times, where I'm on stage or on the road or something and afterwards I'll talk to some couple come up to me afterwards and they they have these very late. Cozy lives that sometimes I really want for myself and they'll be like you know. We think. So much for me, your date, mate and crowd of all use really made our date night and part of me is just like

What the fuck you like? I like I want a date night, but it's not because I'm not glad that they're supporting me it's because I'm jealous, I realized like I'm, I get kind of jealous. Maybe it's like, I feel partially judged at moments, but we're so jaded. They do you got a job of them. You know where you live there. She ate their support, but I am also like I want to fight. I do want to figure out a way that I can have. Gets ability that cosy life, and I want a cosy. I want to feel cosy by it and not like cosy, is in wealthy just right. The same thing you ve always been looking for some sort of family. There has some some structure yeah. Gradually I mean I don't wanna talk it I'd. I I talk to my the same group of people- I want to talk to every day like I feel like. Well, whatever life I've lived, it's led me to have the best conversations possible. I feel like. I still do that yeah. I hope so. I want to cozy, So when did you? When did you first? stage. What was you know? What happened I was. I went on stage at this bar

the upper east side which closed down now and I think I was so nervous that I drank like fire. Jack and coats, and I I like we'll have a few drinks, but I don't drink like that cigarettes, I'd. Never that my dream. You know, but I was just terrified usual you now have like a beer like something like that. You know, but I wanted to just escaped. The belt all day at work, I was a get my nanny job blink fantasizing about a fire. I always have a fight. Fantasy? If I have something I don't want to do, I'm just like well, hopefully that old building will go on fire. People will die, so I wouldn't have to do it yeah. So I was just like praying, there's gonna be a fire and then I drank more than I'd ever drank at my life that night and then I got on stage, and I we're like loving it and having a really good time and dumb. I was told afterwards that I was like not just wildly bombing but

that, like it, was a real problem like they're trying to get me I'll, see if I wasn't listening to anyone got even your own world yet and the microphone apparently wasn't even pointed at my mouth. I was sort of diagonally across my face, pointed north you're in outer space, yes, I was there was did think it was a real desire, but I thought it was while it's important that you killed the fuck, the truth fuck the trade right, he got you either the next one yeah got me to the next fight. You're right. I was like I'd like to do that again and then they're like yeah. We gave you a light like for. I didn't even see it. Did you start doing what we did were you always doing? Characters started telling stories yeah I would do yes, I would do like characters and then I or impersonate people my life in the earth and then I think at first it was just more like. I just do this voice and then I started telling stories and learning how to be like more honest and myself myself right age, I mean when I look at

I think I had this like attitude when I started like that, I thought was the cool it's humiliating to watch an old tabled myself, some kind of like sir, during around, like I mean I was telling you yeah, it's embarrassing antennas. What you're telling me shit? I mean I hate that I had an off stage to what was a week, because what watch like from what I can tell and I'm no sight psychoanalyst just from my own life is that, given that you were sort of like these expansive kind of unstructured type, people that come from that. You know you're gonna, to walk in on something that gets you through yeah. You know to me: you gotta figure out a way to be in order. did not just sort of like drift away You said you got sad, you not a mean right yeah, you got it you got it like you, gotta get some swagger gone happens naturally here, but you didn't have a unique angers. You're does angry ass. Well, that's that! That's my verse yet furious your

screaming at this rate, the smouldering in the corner. I work some sort of like gentle, like leg sort of like a lot I'll do it I'll, just my molluscoida anger in fear and wanting to be light with fighting that dismember, always hearing about your relationships like I was always seem like you are involved in some sort of like a while, like all your relationships, always sounded very wild to me in a lad of control that there is always yet make some kind of like a very like a like a public fight her him against this woman, and you know I mean in rural areas and one sided, how we might now my side, usually other women just run away, and I, like god, why is the shit I'm talking about me fire? You are always, but Europe very good good to bury me I'd like friendly, the I was my own prob. I appreciated that because a lot of times when I started you know people just that you enough people say fucked up shit and they're, not that warms them

am science remember whose worm one glad I did that, like I dunno. If everyone has that same memory, I'm finding that more people do than I thought, which is good, yeah heroes. Warm to me- and I ran- I mean people with it when you started you deserve. for every every awful moment with somebody in oh. I really feel like something like you because you're nervous in their there who very are- and you don't want It- go badly and I'm sure very annoying to because, like I just I every exchange I have with them but he was so magnified. It was like I'm talking to great geraldo. I was a I pain to deal with dio athena, although gregg was also really really kind. Naturally, a highly regarded, as was help me, help me to get into the cellar and stewing various like cool things. For me, I guess he saw through my you now, whatever my dumb and why see attitude. I thought here, but you got into the sour how many years emmy did the boston when that was there need, did the whole kind of like all the gigs at work. What new york to back and figure out how to do it and then who'd you start to.

when did you get the sour? How many years into it worried I think it a five years in or and like the nasty like a wet you, you got referred by a grand jury as geraldo. I can't remember who the second comedian was, but Colin was there and Colin was also just you know, collins gentleman and really sweet to me, and so he he watched my sat next. It s de. I remember me, and he said something really nice and or under rusty anemia point to do that, and you know he was always The gentleman in the area as a sort of flake F, like fatherly gentlemen, has just said beats me, so I'm human gregg. I think they'd, to her and and and I and she also Obviously she made her own decision watch me, but I was tat. I think I've kind of bomb my way out of there and I got went back in years later. So a really we had on the guy age, faded me out. I got that slow fade off the schedule, a mirage way, ideology and olives and no spots and then just goes through, because I think I was I

because really quite ready to be there yet, and then I got back in late years later: oh yeah yeah, it's like weird. The way that place where you just like he still makes me nervous and she's got actually gotten nicer. I shall remember being on the playground like taking care of the kids on thursdays when you would get your spot. You know road and I didn't have. I would just like. I am. I and have any ability to not go crazy. Thursday morning. I'd get up just so anxious. Am I going to get a spot among the hottest hot and then I watched that yeah. I would check my messages in the playground and just be like yeah, then there'd be no message like I would actually call like. I just did I not like I needed local companies. Did I miss of me. I don't know if I got my message is that it's like I needed to say no, no, not this week. I He used to call me I've been good. Can you do, whereas never again that you know how to tell the nice. I tell us

no call, and he would get me work and yeah get you one, those guys that would bring you on a road never had on you always being as coalition and such ass are you happy brought on the road? Yes, a couple times you I opened for him and then he would I he. I was bartending for awhile at kravis Kerry, Kravis his bar, and I remember I'd, tell you to come in there and I'd be so nervous. You know MIKE diva tell us in the bar. He does look so terrified and then he will come over and asked me a few questions like oh you're getting up or whatever, and then he would leave like an absurdly large tip on the car and you know drink like half of this shot of her, you know: we'd had an odd exchange where he didn't make ike, check with me, and I blame that I myself not knowing in out of his low during good idea what yeah yeah and then he would leave like an absurd sum of money. Every time you know, and then he you just get me things along. The way always got me out of work and was really call me. So's todd bury got me. A lot of work is well oh yeah Did he give you up for time yet open for tied annum and yeah and

the borough, those are all guys, are really nice and didn't didn't they took out didn't get John, have run to allow yes, they they would all that's how you sort of started featuring for those guys, yeah those guys Jeff, frost too and dumb and Keith, and yeah and marina franklin, and I wouldn't hang out all the time. So she was like yeah she's great she's hilarious. We were the ones that are sort of like it was like the two of us kind of running back and forth between the seller and Boston and yeah and then like. Well, that's beautiful story. Didn't I fellas comedy I mean yeah, there's there's plenty of animals, but those guys are really good to me. Yeah. Those are good guys. They're are good dip yeah. but does it dies idea started, who brought you on throw in the beginning I started a weird way because, like I did, I start it actually working as a comic embossed, and so the shows were No, they were all one nighters in would be the open. I would do a half hour and then in libya to man show and they had one or two forty five, and that would be the show so

sort of started. Have working with a half hour. I didn't have to do this. Open error like by the time I got to new york. I was almost I headliner like like Zella, was dead in feature of lot. Tedious went pretty good, yeah. I was I wait. What was in quickly? I mean it took it took years, but when I started when I moved to san francisco Ninety two, I was only in new york from at first I'm from eighty nine ninety two and asked him. Work me. No, it would work me. I knew I now to ask where we re boston find the old improv, the original improv I know there is an impromptu york. The origin I'm proud of his any or all right right, of course, of criteria. Fourth, I think- and it was like a sort of like on its last legs, but she would work me would the road shit in Boston. I go back every weekend to make money and then, when I moved to san francisco and I sort of started headlining, so I sort of skipped over that feature thing.

yeah and bright united member, I featured for common once it was. You know the point of contention, really you well. You know, weighty, should not anymore but like when I first got amateurs go and I was featuring. I paid a lot to do in pretty strong half hours and forty minutes sets and your eyes. I was close to being a headliner in any. You know you don't really want to do it by, and I know this because it is there's a karmic return to it. been handed by asked by middles plenty at times: there's a guy in the middle that's their crashing, gets crushing its or you know you're right now, yeah yeah, and you know in that happened happen. Admiral column did a week and I you know- and it was like- and I think part of me one out of my way to sort of like a crush, because you want

cry. You want to show off and show them. You well show off and show mirror you're strong, and I always felt shitty about that. I've never felt completely comfortable around Colin, even though he treated me pretty well. You know he put me on tough crowd and stuff and we're ok, but I've never had this. I've never done a wtf with him or anything really yeah. Have you asked him yeah, which is never it hasn't happened or not yet yeah I dunno, I dunno, you know I dunno it's it's okay, I'm going with him, but by just speaking today yeah? I didn't feature a lot haha near yeah. Will you also had a lot of material to agree I just like you. I guess it was unorthodox. If you came up doing those too, and shows for a couple years where you know you're going out on the road at you, these weird environments in doing a half an hour, you're right out of the gate was pretty. You were pretty I mean I middle the bit. But again I started. Lining. the three ninety two. Ninety three did your pals come on. Watch him

when I go to new mexico, like I did I did like when I was it of what there's a whole other time. I guess I'm not really being completely like there was a period there. Whereas a doormat the comedy store right after college. I came now and I got all fucked up and how I did do some opening like I went back to her. kirkhi, and I opened for some people at that club and they would come see that yeah yeah, I lay in bits of it. I just know how and why would jeopardize yeah? There was just like I did opening, but there was not a lot of middling right cause of boston because of the way that system worked up their yeah. I remember hearing about it a lot when I said like you guys, get you to sort of figured out who was good and then they just canaan ages, came out of will you work, you are able to work. There is all these like one nighters in that

It's the road, that's how you work like you went, you got a half hour, you'd go, get paid and drive and you'd go. Do these opening spots. I dunno, I always loved the crowds there cause. I would go there. My brother was at my older brother, the one that works in advertising. I was in at berkeley music school there and he I and I'd go visit him at berkeley and do that and what's the room that was above the chinese restaurant, oh yeah, the comedy studio yeah, and they were so, but that wasn't there when I was there really now we had real kind of old school. austin comedy clubs like nix and the comedy inaction and buried I had a room when I was in college called play, and SAM's goes in a basement up in alston. Stitches and saves is such a ridiculous. Well, it was this weird play. It was the. It was basically a bar with a movie theater that you could drink in in the basement was the comedy club and it was like a real place like I did open mics or when I was in college, but sir now

like you, your big headliner thanks suggest sadness to that response, here. We know, but you liking mean I've been out a long time. He pager do dues, like you, got a lotta respect from other comics in and now you ve got your first big special out amy produced at Amy, humor, yeah, roommates right now, amy. I why? Why, well. I went your boy comes. I moved him with her and then we are. We are together and then we're enjoying our life life together. So I don't think I'm in a move, but it seems like you had manager leave live on your own. I think guess we are capable of doing something about it. No, I mean she was she I was saying like, as I live with her and her boyfriend, and I was like I m going to move out, and you know june or whatever you just stay a few more months. You know and theirs as other I said I was going to go to and I think I'm going to go to the other place for a few days and give you guys some space and she's like. If you go to the other place, then I'll go to the other place

then I'll me like. I was really so where we are having fun right now, it's a fun life and you know she's the granary. We ought to do this again. Road so may as well. Do it for a little while more in rio, the way allied and she's away foaming a movie now for a few months ago, but it's it's nice we I like the upper west side, where we're living right now, just like a peaceful area. Call we just go, take a walk around the particle, do or gout tape and scream at a you now, and will you do with your eight again? We do these work out. Two hits it just kind of yell at them and work out a man like ghosts and right and living room, and are you sure, you're on the staff on her show? No, no! You just act ownership. Sometimes I just do stuff on the show. Sometimes, oh that's will that sweet thank you. Do you open forever, yeah, sometimes ere? I did a few weeks ago in jackson, taxes, that Crazy do big room, ridiculous. She's playing arenas now and yeah, it's really fun. There was me and mark norman in samara. I think on the show that show em and yes, crazy,

so you're doing it. She brings our whole family with her on the road which is really nice. Her brother is in his span. He opens for her and I he's really good. So it's it's a nice way to travel to solve all these. It'd, be friends, yeah and you're, your your your, your, your parents, proud you. They are very sweet there you're making a living I mean. Sometimes it's they'll come out chosen, it's weird to perform in front of them because they're so proud. But you know it's just embarrassing. Like the other day like I was performing in DC and as the middle of this joke, and I was saying the words like mediocre hand, job or something like accidental eye contact with, like god, damn it yeah they're, so they're sitting there with their open, like jazzed up phases, you now, but it's lovely as our dirty daughter yeah, but it's their support there really supportive yeah, that's ridiculous! Yeah look!

one. I'm things are working now. What's especial called only whores where purple it's got only whores where purple and its I'm coming central, you can get an amazon and or the cc app sure yeah I promote that yet they their sponsors awesome, so good double with those who promotion was great talking you're right! Thank you. Thank you. So much mark that was nice. It was nice to talk to her. I'm glad she's doing well and check her out. Add rachel dash, feinstein dot com. Finally, while men yeah by what So what else? What do we got? Dont forget to coming out with me, and my producer brendan mcdonald in anaheim next month, will be at the now here this festival. This is three days of your favorite broadcast live in one place, its october, twenty eight, the authority and the special you D, have show with me and brendan his on Saturday october. Twenty nine go to now here this best dot com to get tickets and see the full

and now you can use the opera go wmd up when you buy tickets to save twenty five percent of general admission now here this best that calm africa, w e f, who. Yeah. Someone sent me this email after I talked to Ben Ratliff and ass. You wash in just talking The word ripping he said, a rift is variations on a phrase in the phrase going vary, and so I changed my life and alright I'll play a moment of guitar. I you know I I I've got things to do.

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