Derek Waters created Drunk History, but he really doesn't want to know about the darkness that lies in his family history. And while he doesn't have a drinking problem, he's long been plagued by sleep problems. These are just some of the things Marc learns about Derek, in addition to his love for Bob Seger, his celebrity interactions while working at Tower Video, and his relationship with Bob Odenkirk that changed his life.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
All right. Let's do this, how are you what the fucker is, what the fuck buddies, what the bottlenecks, what the fucking are what's happening a marked man. This is my podcast wtf. Welcome to it I can't imagine it's your first time here. I can't imagine that, but It is a high just hang out with the rest of the people, wherever it is that they are you just hang out with them. Hang out with you feel at home? Relax grab something to eat. Do your job. Do your exercise to drive to work. Take the train to work, beyond an aeroplane b, he he he at home, doing cooking doing your work in your shop, your design work you're sure. Making work your you're metalwork, just hang
with the rest of them. Is that if this is your first day, no reason to be shy. Welcome what to all the newcomers, as they say in the recovery, racket. What is happening everybody I is already a right. Is everyone on that we The balance between internalizing the decline of our republic- and I actually talking about it or have you been so beat up side equally by the decline of the republic on so many levels that there seems to be. Squeezing any little near crack of hope. how did you just being speckled with despotic garbage all your cracks of hope, speckled, with despotic garbage, with despotic sludge with authoritarian slime that hardens into cynical. But Very, not effective, jokes No, no! No! it's my tongue. I just like that experiment tone I've.
Waters on the show today and air. Derek my known from drunk drunk histories, also an actor sketch guy, but It was in a very interesting the sort of my show marin, I've always liked. The guy I didn't really know the guy, but I've always liked his work. He seemed like a as sort of I don't know I just always use what he's like rob huber like. I knew a man who is a round. I liked him. I work with them Fighting really know him, but I always thought they'd be fun to talk and we had a great time. Bob Seger is going to enjoy this conversation. That's all I'm going to give you that's the only hint I'm going to give you is that to bob Seger will enjoy this. conversation by the way I will be selling this house, it seems That is where I'm heading with this. As of right now so I'm just putting that out there. If they're some people, myself included on some days. I think this is a somewhat of a stork location What's gone on here? Well, it's
in the garage, a of changes and emotional upheavals both for good and bad, have gone on in the house and in the garage butter. It's going to happen. I think it's going to be available. So if those, if there If you're, really you're filthy, rich people out there that just want to own a history because they're huge fans of the show you might have your shot. You might have your opportunity and by the way, I'm getting I'm getting the I'm getting the floors done right now I'm staying in going on hundred year old force, one hundred year old floors, looking clean as shit right now, just raw. They as and gone down. It's so weird. When I have people working on anything, you know like a bit. Gonna pay them to do it. Some part of me I'm doing it myself? It's got nothing to do with the work so do. Look what we're doing I'm not doing anything, but appreciating true craftsman, stains going down today, getting the done painted bag again new. Last year, there can do some meeting on the outside.
I am going to make this place so nice that I'm you want to move back in? That's what's going to happen, that's going to be the I. Why didn't I do this? While I was living here now, liquid, Look how nice it is. Maybe I should keep it it'll be my vacation home or my work. I'll make you make this my office in workplace. I could I could oh man, now there's option I closed the door on options and now all of a sudden out of emotional connection, there's options so else is happening. You want me to read some emails. I can read some emails. in a year last week? This doesn't happen too often
This is another one. This this is a subject line we hold please plane, can we hold holding for the plane holding we get second, okay, so this subject line cat scratcher couch. So when are scratch the couch. My husband says: mark marin, let's his cat scratched couch as if it's good thought you should know. We love w e F in cat geyser awesome sean up. Yes, I, yes, you know it's not it's not it's not my first choice. Do you know them and you never eat, there's always a little window of time. When you have cat three, like I'm, going to keep em off this stuff, I'm going to keep them off the furniture, gordon with water. Put this thing on it. Whatever you know that goes for as long as it takes for the cat to do it once and then
and then you like shit, what the fuck and then you does it twice and then the thirty or little fucked up and then it just just watch them, destroy whatever furniture. Rugs that you like it takes time and you can live with it. I've lived with couches were literally did the arm of the couch is No longer there on the upholstery level, just gone and people come over there. I fuck man and they're surprised as The cat did that in two days it takes long time, and you just you dad man, you dab to your fucking rugby and I'll water up and balled up, sometimes stained your to your couch being just to shreds on one side or both sides you adapt to them. Destroying beautiful things, tivoli quickly and some for some reason, it's a sacrifice worth I don't know at the new house, I got a leather couch and I'm keeping them out of that room, but Does it get in there and I'm like this is where it starts,
this is where everything nice turns to fucking scratch, pads Just everything nice turns into scratching posts all over the house. The other was a nice catch. Yet I wasn't ice chair yeah. I love their rug when I got it, but now I guess it's there's the little fuckers, but you you just you deal with it. You deal with it. It just becomes becomes few tile when you have cats futile. Entail anything furniture, wiser, rug, wise it you'd, like neither emo our exe our packaging, a marquis mentioned you like the rx bar packaging on your last show, and I wanted to inform you that I am the designer who created it. That's all man, thanks for in my day, your fan mike see that I didn't even know what did I know we didn't add for arcs bar and I do like the packaging. Mikey did a fine job nice way out enjoyed it good work so I've been watching some movies because I got the screeners
I've got the what days today, oh shit, it's thursday. So yeah on sunday, I'm going to the sag awards. I'm trying. I if I can wear the exact same thing, I think I can I'm not it's not like everyone's photographing me waiting for me to to show up designer merchandise, I'm not a woman in a new dress. I don't need a new dress, every I mean. Maybe I won't wear the vest, but I might just wear the same thing entirely. Someone told me black sure in a black day. This is not borne stuff, so decide. Words are coming up and we're finished a glow. The last of the law. Week, shooting monday monday, is the last day of shooting for in two and it's been, it's been great. It's been fun, it's sad when a production ends. It's like the end of camp, although was more of like the women on the show obviously were doing a lot more work to get the training and wrestling everything else in. I would come in occasionally and with my moustache, my bad attitude, so
I was more like a camp director, but but it is a it's a sad day yeah, I watch their, what I watch Did you call me by your name. Is that the name of it call me by your name, is eiza. Is that the exact title cuz? I watch that what a beautiful poetic movie This is stunning movie and I got to say after watching it, I'm probably four percent more gay than I was before. I think I hovered around eleven, twelve percent gay and now I'm like sixteen, seventeen percent gay and it's not in it's going to stick after watching that movie but don't be afraid of it. It's a it's an opening. It's not it's, not not something scary. You probably need to be a little more gay, there's some dudes that could be more gay. Would it would be a you know? It would be nice, you know. Sometimes you need to enable balance this is she see? What happens to you? when you watch a movie. And what exactly are your feelings? around the peach scene, no spoilers, but ah
let me know. Let me know how the peach scene worked for you in call me by your name and the acting was tremendous on all parts really seriously: Molly's game work, I'm reviewing movies. I guess if you like, aaron sorkin, and here's the thing- and I think I've talked about this before in the show, with errand organ is that is not how people talk but it is very entertaining and if it's acted properly, it's good like the steve jobs movie, I loved it. I loved because it was it was like you know it was. I carry grand catherine hepburn do now. There was that there was a pace to it that was almost like forties. I'd have talked about this before there's a paste the banter and an intelligence to the banter that there, it's very compelling and driving there are moments the weaker moments of erin, sorkin scripts or in this man? which he directed is where he just all sudden. You have that be where you like, owe dade people. Don't talk like this. and it's a it's a sad moment and and there's only one in this movie and it does
it the movie I enjoyed the movie even though yeah. Obviously it's a movie, but but if at banter and the liked the story. The stories, a good story and and jessica Chastain is great and address album. Is that his name actually look it up he's great too? I think I'd like to know I'd like to think that I got that right. I'd like to think that that that I said that right, I'm going to google on my thumb, Idris elba, yeah yeah. I think I got it right, so I can vouch for those two movies, both of them. Obviously, you know a poetic sort of coming of age, coming out story. It takes place in ITALY, pace and the other one is about a woman who ran a gambling racket. It's gotten insanely compelling lyrical. Dialogue driven pace, very different films, both very entertaining and good.
so. Derek waters had a great time talking to him the fifth season of drunk history premieres next tuesday january, the third on comedy central. This is me and Derek waters. talking primarily about bob Seger. In my recollection, yeah I've been with you woman. I've been seeing for a few years. How long have you been with her like three and a half? Okay, you party of one, but how we yeah yeah yeah. For a long time for a long time in a long party of one really yeah, when I'm sad party derek I'm using my party. Is it sad? No, I love this party, it's the only party I've ever known, but it gets bigger and smaller though, but it's still a party on it's still a party of one. I got out of some probably like four months ago. That was pretty. How long was it
Like eight months I usually go. I do the six months a year a year and a half the longest I've ever really with someone? Would you That's about. I mean question a day. Are you like what's wrong with me or like? This? Is just right I don't is wrong with me. I know know really. I dunno my parents have been married for life, five years, happily the alia really army, this is a good sir. I tear passes was the one that pointed out like. Oh your parents, don't sleep, you think that your mom and dad don't sleep in the same bed, because your father snores, and, as I see it as a snowing problems like sugar sector, very likely. You now need a stone sleepy,
but anyway, a lot of people are doing there. Now here I hear they really yeah you're like yahoo. I may make sense ice news, nor I don't think I snore badly yeah. I dated a woman for a while that snored bad stores greatly. Why mean there? Wouldn't that's right, I mean, greatly in that like that is an awesome. Greatly disturbing here really annoying, but ignored, really bad and it's bad because you kind of want to punch him in the head when they're sweet. We are not- and I think so- I do that. I mean that's a little violent, I'm ashamed that I said it sure you try to nudge him, and but it is there's an intensity to the nudge, like god it yeah I've been on the receiving end of that. My ex made me have to get these nor person using here, and I got these nasal Riah delay work the yeah they do, but when I did snore. I remember waking up and just like
the elbow sorry. This is my place. You, know, Jimmy fallon. That was the that was the last week of that relationship. Yeah yeah, exactly no. I dunno there's something about the nudge that it's just. I don't know if I woke up on the receiving end of that, but I've given some nudges yeah. It feels weird it's like do. If you love someone and that's how they're breathing are you saying you hate how they breathe? you saying that I can. We do something to help this committee from this that this measure we buy mild eyeing year plugs. Oh, you offer sweet guy that have a drawer for a five year: hey honey check the drawer. This might be problems and I might be turbulent. He got them a little machined yeah yeah I yeah. I have had really bad sleep problems I used to well I know I have full conversations in my sleep really
Anyone spends the night there was like who the fuck are you talking to. I don't know what yeah full conversations I wake myself up talking, really not we may have organised after erie mi east room toward when he screamin a dream that no matter what I no matter what emotion you're experiencing weathers joy or terror the sound you make out loud in the real world is always hey, hey, hey and in the dreamer I listen and I dunno. Why translates to one yeah? I dunno either I've woken up by I've got nudged for that. I wonder what your response, what did she say? while she does you're having a nightmare? And then I'm like? I don't remember my dreams at what do I do here? You do you When I ve ever reoccurring, no never had a real. I did as a kid ruining otherwise airs, and so my grabbing you, but that's like the classic as one the classics, closet, stairs, yeah yeah,
its somebody driving a new here yeah, but would you grow up man baltimore two more was your father and my dad outbreaks. No, but I love imagining them who my dad looks like a very cute barney rubble really he has a at tire. Tire parts come tired tire to tire supplies like not tires everything. except for very away tires. Was nowhere else waits him now. Yeah way without, as is distributor, you know I'd it's a family business that I never got it Really. Nineteen, twenty six, though it's gone down three generations and my brother, whose older well luckily take over, but I used to work. There is a still thriving business. Somehow does he manufacture
this house is in weight. He always driblets year. He distributes valves and tyre waits yeah. They still use tirewomen. Yeah yeah, we'll wait, we'll wait. So we have things that you find on the side of the highway are like what the fuck is, that they're made out of lead or something yeah, and they just tag on. Tack onto that here. I never knew what they did. You know are they balance they and out the that. I remember me. I just ya you so work and now warehouse shipping stuff on boxing stuff up, and I remember when I used to get real depress out here. I would call my brother and here what he's doing or what are you up to? He would just put the phone down and he god bless him like he knew I hated what he did and or I couldn't do it, but he liked him and I love him and buddy. I would just listen to the titlis. The boxes begin like taped up and I was like the best motivation milliard. It's not that bad. yeah, oh god, that's my alternative, alright
that old knight said. That was that that was the only do things. The other show business. exactly we weights make people laugh. He you worked at the place, yeah yeah. I worry. I haven't heard time picture and give cause. We only really. I see like we've, only come up with two items that they have there that and you're. There's a judging the business, but I mean it sounds like that's all they have valve tire willing at jack's anything to do a tired and is not the time or the willow or the wheel or the tyres, but everyone will always need tyres marked. No. I know that in the end I and I think it's a great business, but does In fact, if you like, as I always wondered like who'd, who thinks to do that business was, it adds dad or was it you dad too great grandfather. Great grandfather got into the tiring yeah yeah. I I mean it was
I think it was originally just a rubber company just selling different types of rubber, that a thing of eventually then drifted off from tires their way. It wasn't for me ass, a thing that I imagine as a person in high school who was waving the life you're living that maybe that would become fascinating to at some point, given that you did create drunk history, that maybe you would one day in high school get fucked up in. one year by your great grandfathers, rubber business, as, as you know, What got you to where you are he's never its there's a big blind spot with and their families in what they do, sometimes the people they go to and you work there and you don't fucking know really well. What don't I now that, with its victims, rywhere inquiries, I started there that your great you great grandfather was just doing different types of rubber furred seem fascinating, This is the dawn of the automotive age. Yeah and, like you know, your grandfather had this great idea. That's a great point that
at you know like everyone's going to need rubber everyone's going to retire parts, because this car thing's going to stick yeah and he created a business. Is: has legs man, generational legs, you vision, vision, Derek! am I doing I don't got. I gotta get ancestry dot com. I can figure it out, but I got to talking to my father and then it'll be disappointing. It'll no doubt be disappointed because they don't know as much as you think they should see. I've that mark where I go back and ask like also why I did that happen as kids, like all your grandmother wanted to kill herself, I'm like alright. Well, I don't think I want to hear that story anymore, so I don't really want. There are certain things, a story there that there are. Oh, your grandmother tried to jump out of the car, ok cool. Why was in the very alone he was in here as addicted to coffee, okay, cool.
That's it. I don't need, and I don't want to go to nineteen twenty six. If I'm just representing the seventies here, I don't want to go like before the depression got enough. How many brothers and sisters are there? Just one brother he's six years older and he's got any at the tire place. He plays married to two get three kids. You have three Nieces and nephews, one niece and here and you're. All close, your yeah he's my best really now now we're not out of time. You do talk to my parents once a week and you do did you always do that or just when he's, so you got successful, always reason I don't know is I remember: first moon out here and always hearing stories of light. Oh man, like
Well, you really can't be funny unless, like you had like a fucked up, childhood now was always in my head. Like man, I really like my period- and I remember once talking to bob odenkirk- and I was like Bob was like- am I going to be funny like I liked? I liked my childhood yeah like derek just because you had a he just because you liked your it doesn't mean it was a good childhood yeah that was a very good spin yeah, not seeing a negative yeah, but it was real, but yeah. I've been very close with my parents since yeah, so you're smoking cigarettes at sixteen you must be been a problematic. It seems like. Just like I get dressed, I gotta characterize. You had some trouble, drunken mess I know, but I didn't drink for a very long time. I I was so
we're all through high school I'd liked cigarettes, I dunno why I guess cause well who fucking doesn't in high school thinking that it's cool? How old? Are you thirty? Eight? yeah, I'm fifty four? I would have thought by your generation that that she would have passed here, but now she people still locked into the cigarettes at fifty thing, but that a well what you are, No, I think people like my generation are done smoking. I think it's the next one. That's the one! after me. Oh okay, that's, like you guys are still awake or still alive. as with alcohol and the millennial, so you're, not a millennial, you're older fuck, the easy man I'm not I'm, just and what somebody's life here I know I don't know, I don't even know what I mean. I know what a millennial, what are they born after two thousand? I think so I think they would they don't. I always since I am someone. If there were a debtor earth, they were alive and kirk obeying died and if someone says
Now, what year was at ninety six about it? Nine yeah, I mean I was. I was young, If it was ninety six, I think it was ninety four I was fifteen, I remember is just after John candy, I remember john cannon kirk obama right after each other yeah, I was born in seventy nine, seventy nine yeah yeah and charles seventies, wow and yeah man, but yeah. I don't know what was the landscape like man cause like? I was born in sixty three, so like seventy three, I'm already ten, and shit is going down everywhere. Seventy three everything's your unleashed, greetings wild sixties, are over now people are just acting like lunatics yeah. Without a purpose yeah, there was attached to a purpose for a few years, yeah in the sixties and seventies, no purpose just good times and then disco hap.
And- and I witnessed all that, like I was there Derek and in high school when, when discos actively being killed and fought well, yeah disk- That was yet. I was my that was high school for me when pogrom came in and the knack did my schroeder and everybody worth entice, things were changing yeah Were you part of the disco demolition? like. I was sorta county rock guy and I have some older new knew the college neon. They more progressive, weirdo music, so at the disco stuff, never in junior I I remember listening to am radio, but I don't remember specifically disco. I remember a David Bowie's fame and I remember shadow dancing by Andy Gibb who died as like an episode. You've shown, I'm not drunk I remember that day. I remember night moves Bob.
I love cigarettes, great, I lost my virginity to greatest hits. You did yeah. How old was the girl, while was a junior, I guess I'm. Sixteen fifty about say, may seem class yeah feared, but I guess I say sixteen yes, we are in the same or she was a year older. I was held back, I was, I was always older than everyone in my class, so there see now now story, I hear your area, so I got held back as a good will. It adheres near there mom. Why did I get home? I just thought it would be so cool. If you older than everyone in your class? So I held you and your brother back in preschool, which There was that your mom did that my mom did that it wasn't a disciplinary thing. Your mom just had this weird idea supposedly, but I
also had this very strange. I didn't hit five foot until I was maybe fifteen and I got like tested for this thing, which was at the time now. I think it's evolved in somehow supposed called growth hormone deficiency by those scary. The scary, when you gotta go to the doctor when your parents are like is he can have whatever yeah it's going to change right and I remember them saying You'Re- only going to be five one and that you'll be the same height as Michael J fox and I kind of thought that was deposited got Jake cool.
I told you that yeah the doctor she's trying to make you feel good. She shows me like a picture of their kareem abdul Jabbar and then like the idea, you're going to be Michael J fox, but yeah they're like oh, it's a of two per cent chance that you'll get cancer. There's a three percent chance that you'll gain like twenty pounds, and I I think my fault, my father's father had just died of cancer and they were like we're not given him any of these hormones. So and so now you are five am like a six to one now, I'm five, six, five, six yeah five. So she did alright yeah I may right. I mean I got flat, my The draft saw my dad avoid vietnam. Health tells to sorry I am taller than him he's, probably five. Three, oh really so he's five three and fat and five feet: yeah she'd written a song,
so this girl that you had sex with her the first time at sixteen. When you were five feet tall yeah boy, had she had sex before. So she noted down yeah, but you know you know the losers, my virginia bob Seeger is a grave story, but the yeah lady, as I had sex before that yeah and it was my parents, goblet wait there to bring girls, in my room as long as I kept the door open, so I learned how to quiet. no- but I remember the girl s my region too, I was this is real. I trash I as fourteen and I remember taking a lock condom, demand They all go. We're gonna take, her home and so were driving home and I'm holding up, as I was too I'm still so scared of anything.
yeah, oh yeah, but flushing. condom down the toilet. I was so petrified of like it'll stuff up the toilet, my my parents, you I grow church, like you, won't have sex until you get married right search, it was called and as hunt's united memorial. It's a methodist methodists. Yes, yes, there are there other hard core It's like the most laid back nice way back as unitarian, but now or the lutherans be good or areas yeah. Well, they can be praised tight. I found out love to tell you what they don't believe. So anyways of, but I remember, coming leaving the house with a pepsi can, with a condiments, if it knowing like, I had to figure out where to throw this public anyway. So my parent stand now I had a thing Adam inside of a year and as by
had sex with the girl at your house with the door open with your parents there and they were you. We were all driving the girl home ngos sitting with a condom and a pepsi can just my mom and me yeah, just your mom and you and the girl and the girl, but dad at dad's at work. Trying to sell tire parts. Sorry for the wait valve is betsy liked, his ass off for it, and the girl just cost marking and each other nervously yeah I think that was song was going cause. I can't was greatest hits and I remember it was weird when he covers a chuck berry song on that. Was only buedir due to do here. I can't say levy. You say that a hand. I remember throne This is cool that I really have always had safe sex. I threw a we had sex with a bob seger album and I threw
raspberry red condom that I just got in from spain on a field trip to spain and as a no the item that you didn't like hey we're in spain. It's got the right guy to conduct dispensary. This is cool man. Yeah bellissima. I know that's a tie, but bueno, let's see so I threw a red raspberry condom middle school parking lot and it really still fox me up thinking about like a kid coming to school. The next day. I would like to ask a condom here. We also have this: have sex like in place like this church. Like playground- and I remember like cops- would come to these parties and me, like I'm so tired of finding condoms here. You guys had I stop having real bottom was real boring. All you do is pretty good. I didn't really. I didn't really have I had sex when I was seven
but I would not call it a successful event will yeah one person, and I was- and never again with that same person, no, the one I lost my virginity to now. I didn't I didn't get good at it until college really and even then not great. It took one time for me to really get the hang of it when do you know you're good at it. when you can, when, when you, when you can We know that, like are you good and they're like yep and they're, like I then I'm going to go ahead and finish now giving yeah whatever do. I think that good is you? Can you know you they, I think it's. The gauge is how when how and when how many times and how often or or when do you apologize? You know I could say it's based on the the apology spectrum
if you like, all guy sorry, that's not good. No sorry during sex is never a good warner, but sorry after sex isn't is, is not great either if you can limit the apologies yeah, because only if their apologies out of insecurity, my opinion, if you've done something that you should have I was just as sure should probably go ahead and do that yeah yeah at the time. Yes yeah, I'm now in the moment in the moment, yeah yeah yeah I know I will never apologize. That's good! That's good! That's good self esteem. Yeah? I don't know my good to thing is afterwards. I just think you move on. For me at least I get some older bob sugar project records, ray yeah? What is it lovable loser yeah there, some big kurds. Man and you know you. I I'm not ashamed to say that I liked it did. Someone give you hell on liking. Seeger, maybe when the risky business shit. I won't even thing about that's on now
was like, like what bob Seger straight up, new american townie rock, even when he hit when that night moves record hit been around for awhile yeah. I think it was has. secret project. There was like two or three of those records was above project. and then, and then he hit with the solo stuff and then it just kept getting just kept happening. But like night moves when that came on if it was night outside and you are in a car fucked up, you like, oh man, is great is america, man, just you'll come me all his songs. You can pay sure I can ever remember a bob seger video, but we have like our own memories, about like seeing like those girls that lie he made us live imagine I driving out here with my I grand am ninety six not to brag, and I called that fucking car, the hollywood
oh yeah. I know that's really cheesy, but I was yeah, but that's like that's. Actually a pretty good seger song, it's a great song yeah. Why can I find the the early seeger's like and why I thought it was called bob seger project which one bob seger system huh the bob seger system dude I dunno If I had the bob seger system, you don't know yet, though there was the bob seger system mongrels one of the records, yeah man, I do use around for a long time, and he was like you know, is like detroit kind of shit yeah, but without yeah he's a kid, a kid rock loves, seger Can you not love seger really yeah, but I think night moves was the fuckin that what I was not over? Do you like did you have a good memory for night most I just I was sort of a heavy hearted kid yeah, so Kenny or any sort of kind of melancholy song like looking back and it was working
that's something I don't think it happen for me, Also it's like a dream on zone. Where you just right I get Harry hearted teenage yeah. I know the lines in my face are getting clear, like fuckin, fucking, twelve he would see who is an important part of the year. I yes eager. I love Seeger. I think we are my parents loved my dad a band really here. He played drums for band and then now he plays for the church bam. They don't have name, but I can't garden roses cover the place where the church friends has a pretty religious rant, yeah, yeah yeah! That's how I grew up and yeah. Do you go to church now? you ever once in a while, you d have a church I don't have a church but you'll go yeah. I lay church, I like
with people, I'm not! Oh. I stopped going to like one certain place, because you know you start doing stuff and used you everything's, a business, no matter how you look at it and I remember like being in a I agree and realizing that no Well, realizing like okay. Do you have any prayers this week, yeah I'd like to pray? If I'm, I would just really like to get with united talent agency, like what that's my What you are asking god for something that you're actually asking me to do for you. Like. That's that's and I remember guys in like hey man. We should write a script together and I was like hey just because we believe in the same thing doesn't mean I like you at a church yeah, so that the guy yeah cause it's like a business like hey males, write a script together. God bless.
I'll pray for our very first script. So anyway I yeah I've. I still have faith and I like I, like god, I like church, but I get scared of you- know wham politics and like getting too close into those worlds. Where it's like, I think faith is your personal journey and that's up to you, it's like, oh, and don't throw it down someone else's thoughts, like you got somewhere because of where you got then just be thankful for that you don't need to like say well this will you need to do right? That's what I always got: scared of right, prot, proselytizing people and yeah missionaries. Yes, yeah yeah, that's great! That worked for you, but that doesn't mean it works for everybody. Right, yeah be be good, but you brought up you brought up in the church, decent people, you go in there that you see everybody there and it's like the families community yeah like to know sarah yeah girl, Monday, great
they're. Let me boxes. I do like that. I like that idea, but then think about it. If I like that, I wouldn't have left baltimore, his. That's all you girl, but it's just a god, bless him, but it's a merry go round of is the same song yet bob's eager yeah. Stuff rockseeker, but yeah so you just sort of like birth life, death kind of you know they they, the you, can see it all play out. You know for generations. In the end, you thought, like it gotta be more than that. There's gotta be more than that. Hollywood. Hollywood, yeah yeah exactly one day. You know I remember yeah cranking song and driving across driving. My brother, and I will you a! U haul and towed. My pontiac grand am your from no, I know-
My kind of me have grandmother's inheritance. It was a used ninety six right, but when decide so an ear you're Goin I school year, put robbers and so too can having sex with disregard smoking cigarettes. You worry about, high volumes. But nothing too dramatic does do you do any theater in ca in high school yeah I did like yeah damn user calls, but I wanted to be a baseball player. That was my dream and I find it with the flat funded smoke sags, five. Whatever yeah, you point: did you play a high school ball? I tried to and I didn't make the team, and so I started hiring for little league, which was the most depressing thing. I don't get on the team. Did you then a church? Now it sounds like community service
Now I did it for like seven bucks an hour. I was getting paid as an unwanted, literally appeal. We literally and the kids are bigger than me, whose really fucked up is the man, their security people But parents of sports kids are the scariest today I mean that's our stock market. no not far from what we see as the cliche showbiz, moms and dads here is the parents of athletes. They are frightening and I remember them yelling at me- I am being very, very mean, but anyway, yes, I want to be a base up there and then I didn't make it to high school. I was making little movies of my friends in my neighborhood and announce like all of dear friend and told me to all dishes for filler on the roof. The ass. You pay tv now some background guy that they named saw, I think, to be nice to me. Did you put a fake beard on in passing
wear a yarmulke, I know I'll, never wearing a homage can know. I think I wear a yarmulke yeah, I'm saying and a tough guy yeah, and that was yeah I loved it, but all my friends kind of make fun of me, but I am Did like the you know. They do, though he does. Trailer did get a pardon me guys and dolls. How you did an iron we're being really nervous. This is the first time I'm playing like a pretty big part harry the horse to brag Harry the horse. I got the horse right here and, You know, I'm not someone that was like. Oh I'm real popular, but I wasn't a jew. I wasn't a nerd. I was kind of in the middle, but this is the first time be in front of a lot of people. They do those previews in front of the whole school and I remember being so excited and so nervous and so singing and everyone's like laughing and like I learnt like clapping when I come out and their edges feel so good and they can.
live in and I looked down and all my dick is one of those laser pen pointers here, someone with it when the audience with you Why you? Why is the beginnings of russian? Where are you what. Why are you huh? I know I think it was on everyone to be fair on the guys and dolls genital areas yeah. So there are several people out in the audience with lasers several vaults on. Following a charge. You at a laser, pinpoint peoples to remember that like I apologize on announcements and he said like.
I'm a red light user and I apologize like for doing this and just kind of made a joke out of it. Yeah and I hated it. Do you know the kid yeah, facebook friends? I actually I wrote to him recently and said. Like I every time I see a red laser, I always think of you. You did not. I did. I don't hold back but put your friends still, not friends with on facebook. Sure also, I can walk you through the once a year. He do the laser once a year like yeah, here's, the yeah, yeah you're thinking about you yeah, so you're singing, you did some singing and I did some singing. I was in a band and the all too for the doha that guys and dolls yeah. Is that luck be a lady? That's work related, yeah, yeah and then there's the one was right here. I think it was Paul revere, yeah and so that's where it starts or where it starts, and then I oh, I got the leading the next year, which I was george gibbs in our town,
Finally, I get, though, be a lead and apply. Sorry. The auditorium is going through. Renovation of our town will take place in the cafeteria visa. Rio. We did in the carriage area some town mia Sartain not now not great heights as loyal labels yeah screeching, tabled here yeah. So If so, then you are, but you say, sang in a rock band two. I was in a band yeah in high school. That was just the play. I play guitar for fun, but I'm not good. I love, I love music. How did you place the eggs and yeah? like a middle school show nothing like got pay us paid, resigned or via a full set, or we did a lot of covers and some rocking in the free world. I don't think no, no seeger, but, like I asked mandated like country as in a garth brooks, I was really into garth, brooks really yeah huh. I like what song
Well, then, was the river it's all about like dreaming beer and I as real cheesy, you weren't you weren't garth brought us into. I suppose it was this highschool yeah huh pearl jam, they're. Still my favorite band really yeah. Now do you like pearl jam, I do I have no problem with pearl jam. Thank you. I kind of a there is a big drop off for me, though I know they made a lot of records, but after vert v versus versus I was like them out. There was it he only. two albums. Let me now I have some of their other records. I don't know any the songs on credit. that neil young european record and I have how you going to top that first record, it's one of the best albums ever. I think so. The reason why I defend them, while money, If you have problem, seeing them live is that there are the best live band. I've ever seen never play the same set. They. They write it like the day
so there or I don't know I bands onto that more yeah. I guess good bands to know I think they're real they're, just like a classic, hard rock band, not even hard rock, just a classic rock band like when they first came. I was this is like the new bad company. Here we go. You thought parole was a new bad company. God damn I almost believed you know. I did really that mean they were. Obviously they had more range and bad company, but I thought because Paul rodgers has, I think, one greatest voices ever and- and I just felt that the template for having a guy with a unique voice with great pipes that had that- sounded like yo. Just him Yeah yeah, better, doesn't sound like anybody else. Paul rodgers doesn't sound like anybody else in like you know. for can't get. If of seagull you fly cross horizon, give me silver, blue and gold, and then at january
Google exerted re, the only like why not like going I'm, not I'm, not I'm not diminishing pearl jam. It just with my impression when they first came up, but they transcended bad company. But how been ever another band that do a song named there that the band name bad. had company. Marie I mean they could they had us come out of the gate with. I don't know that The first record must be. It has to be I like the one with their big song, was ban ban ban ban, but will I take whatever I want and I won't yeah yeah, oh wow, okay and then what making loved one feel You can turn around brown are a lot of hits huh his voice is great
it's yeah, so you get out of high school and you're going to be a star yeah. Well, I I want to. I was like I wanna be Al Pacino and Chris Farley. If I combine those two, I want to act and I want to be funny anytime. I acted, people would laugh and I think it was I couldn't act yeah. I was like oh you're, on my show. I thought you'd get an thank you letter thing right. There was the menacing. You were kind of scary guy. Already, and my girlfriend's friend that was so much fun yeah. It was freezing out here O'Donnell. I remember that yeah yeah, very late boys, don't cry right exactly yeah. It was creepy that was really creepy. That was fun. That was that was season, one yep yeah. happened to you. You tell your parents mapa, I'm getting a grand. Am
yeah me by law. I rose geiger countryman ago. Try this and I wanted to do second city. So I went to Chicago fer a couple days and I went to toronto for couple days. They try to feel out what the people are like. Two days yeah to decide where to move, and so I decided toronto because it was more of felt more open to people that were just starting outside lived in toronto for six months, really studying second city there yeah How is that with the candidates are loved it and loved it. So much as probably besides the reached recent purchase of my bike, the best decision, I've ever had a biker motorbike peddled by I love it. I hate working out but manner that goddamn bike here he just one yeah. I never had a bike yeah and Do you drive it along that bike path near typical, exactly yeah, that's right! Yeah, it's really fun. What kind of bike
it's a mountain bike, but it's like eight speeds and Did you buy it from yelp reviews are recommending now I walked into a store they wanted to I know how bike I think and the guy. It is what you go. What would you like? An inside a bike? What fat tire skinny, tired and I was like fat tires and then he's like you're right. This went around and I was like: oh my god, idiot hey either like at night. I have a light, but still like when it's nighttime there's you can walk You can do some towns that drive a car even but people honestly, just like I'm riding my bike like I dunno, that's a shit that pisses me off. Like are you riding your bike, or are you just trying to make us think of feel bad?
I do not involve I get concerned for people doing anything in a road. Were there not protected with people texting and driving its eye at your feet, I just I barely like walking on the sidewalk mark. What do you do because I have now hot to now. I will not let one soon, as I see someone's head down Now I know we're right away. The act is daddy. The thing I don't know how, like you see all the techno gee evolving! That to me is going to kill us really soon. Sure that's one of the things to intention, I'd, say it's not a there. There are a lot of things going on that might kill more people all at once sure, but but slowly the gathering and moreover, it could attic everybody out somehow anyway, but I'd so we go back to toronto toronto. You you get into second city, I well. I took classes so I was just like learning and like doing stand up and If you are trying to stand up yeah how'd that go
I don't anymore yeah. You know I like I like but I don't like having to be funny- and I wasn't good when I came out here. I was doing more open, mics out here, I liked I liked the just as a way of meeting people, but I don't think I was very good at it. You came out like so so you're in toronto rejects months, incisive, being canada's relieving fly all really. Even so. I, like my right here, bull loony, Tunisia. Light like the money is really cool. It's safe, I didn't have a car, so I walked everywhere and yeah. It's a bureau. Yeah. I like see their first monsignor like I'm, going to hollywood, I'm going to hollywood and well did you make any connections? Did you meet any people or any of the people that you were in toronto with here now some yeah, some, like some teachers, are here now some performers but yeah. I left the the like. Were you in
at group there? I wasn't I was in a sketch about here there I was mostly just doing like comedy sports and cheesy stuff like that improv yeah, yeah yeah? It was until years later I got into ha ha fresh, it's like baja fresh and I get it I wanted. I wanted it to be called bond. Jockey. I hate improv names. I hate sketch group ha ha fresh yeah. Thank you, but how do you get? How does it happen to los angeles, I'm jumping ahead, the threat of vanity. You go back home. I go back home work for a little bit at the store at the store. I know out hunting where ass I was cutting grass. We await you whenever dude It sounds like he go back to maryland and you go back in time. Yeah you're cutting grass yeah. I did landscaping there yeah by yourself. You worked for co, worked for a company because you don't know how to do that stuff right. You know
in kind of mo. I remember I remember the guy was my neighbor told me when I first cut was mow my front yard. When I was a kid I was just kind of ran we doing it in the guy next or as I had two rows got cut morose. You weren't doing it right now. I don't know what I was doing. I just kind of winging it it's a profound moment? You sense you gotta do. Of course you do yeah. If I can do, and no one taught me anything about, I dunno what my parents were doing. I was just out there with an electric mower doing circles, shit randomly in more in the last year, a trained young does my grandparents had like a ten acre farm, so I would cut that long and that was on a big tractor. I had this is your year. The guide adds tad the guy who gave your dad the business tires of my business. Has they have animals the year we had when I was little. There is a lot, but mostly just
Twenty nine year old pony- I remember that being so confusing to me, do you think ponies become horses, but they don't said twenty nine year old him. I never thought I guess. Maybe I thought one time, but you really expected that phony as a kid you just stand? The eyes met his rifle. I guess I'm in common with it. I did the on a great yeah yeah on young was his name yeah. If both of you were kind of stuck, we were very star yeah. I don't think he owns willis anymore. I probably that I think I find out you want to make a call now- and I am I doubt before, ask you about how the tire business started the dead or alive. Cutting grass really did fuck me up, because I remember and cutting that farm, I accidentally ran over a patch of rabbit. come on me up so bad
never recover from that. I shot a pigeon. You want to, but many randomly aim at a pellet guy over you. If you are going to do pressured me, she had pyjama yeah, come onto the show one yeah and then what happened to the high five you see broke my heart drop that fucking pigeon, I know. But what was his sick reaction to it? Dude you know that yeah you got him and but it didn't seem dead to me now how to shoot it again. What is with kids and doing that shit? I remember fishing with a guy and he's like to take the fish and scalp it, and you just stuck the knife, and I was like I want to throw the fish back fishing. I don't want to eat it. I just like fishing, you just took the knife and stabbed it in the fish and threw it away.
Yeah, but you can't with fishing though. If you hook it too bad, you throw back and it can be all fucked up. I know I'm just floating there get some fucking abscess, yeah the I was never a hunter and the agency hurt me and I had to kill a mouse once at a restaurant that fucking broke. My heart, but had happened, had happened and had to kill some mice. In my time, wait. What do you mean you had to was stuck in a glue trap, the restaurant. I was working on just sitting there. I can you a fucking, kill it just throw it away, fucking stuck to good. trap, still alive. I put avid misery god now good traps at the. And in a story, and I can t, get fucking, kill the thing. It's really fucked up. I the place that I it's got. I inherited this woman that lay live. There's turtles and koi fish. What and this koi fish you bought the house. I bought the house with turtles and koi fish yeah koi pond in the back, okay, but the the coin got real sick couple.
Weeks ago and how long have you been there a year how you fuck up the fish? I didn't do anything I I feed them. Well, I have someone clean it. Like I'm good, I'm a the fish owner yeah, but this fish there all their very old, and I dont this lady was obsessive rescue, Also. All of them were like half, writing yeah right the rescue, koi rescue turtles, yeah, real no, that's what she told me, but long story short, is that the koi fish was really fat real. Bloated and then just laid up and was just flow. on the top of the ponds? I picked it up and put it in trashcan and then it just started moving still alive and I was like. Oh my god. What do I do? I didn't know what to do. Do I kill it?
it. It's dying, wait it out. So a friend told me I should put it in a bucket of ice freeze. It though he did yeah. What would you do This is that I don't have a dog have a girlfriend fear then die like that with this? I don't want to get in a relationship with them like for today like that get thrown. Well, I got too many other things to do so. Alright, sorry what happens when you come out here, you drove with your brother, you packed. Shit, yeah yeah and I were general a plan I knew I wanted a second city was just about to start out here it's so I was going to take classes there. That was my plan, but do nothing That said, I was nineteen that they always fascinates me because we come out here to be in
as we don't know fucking, you know some people do some people set shit up, but not that stuff never pans out right. You know it's like Just come out here like now at the sprawling shitty city, yeah you're hanging around comedy venues. So what's up it's crazy you don't, and you think back though, but we we didn't, It was crazy though I guess not like I took two stabs out, you know took me a while the kind of really come back out here, like I got a new spirit pretty early and then I was. I went back to new york and started there yeah, but by Am I came out here and make pretty fucking sure that I had something to do. he'll. Be out here with nothing to do is the worst yeah yeah. When you see all these people with their great lies, Would you for you to see everybody trying its liking? if we in Europe that level indiana you're all looking at each other like to going to be you can be me in. I know it's not. Nine can be that guy and then that guy the big star yeah. That makes no
and take classes, and you just I just yeah. I took classes as well. In a tower video and I was like that was jobless boy, yeah yeah. That was the job and then back on on sunset, when it was on sunset, yeah right across from the er. The records were as on one side and the video on the oh yeah yeah, I loved it. It was really fun and I didn't like I dunno. I got to meet cool people and you know working in a video store that seems pretty cliche when you first move out in that area. Like you met people, yeah yeah, I mean yeah likes, you know, after the long? I got sylvester stallone american pie, the young one. Member the probably the best thing that happened me there was a guy ass for movie. I can't remember, but the guy said a cub people in one of the names of sidney party, and I was the only one I recognized- and I was like trying to put it in the computer, and I couldn't spell it: it's tough man,
then, these I e tiger actually didn't have it after and so the guy laughed and then my boss said: why did you just have sidney poitier, spelling you his own goddamn name as I thought it'd be funny, then that I never you know all I've seen is like John waters and cal Ripken. I didn't know what celebrities but yeah tower video was great and then I started doing second. the in getting like small commercial parts but yeah an agent. I agent, I did, I did as play out here: magenta fisher, oh yes, I like her attacker yeah man is awesome and so bob odin kirk's wife was there and you know you're yeah no younger. Normally, Kurt, formerly known a yom tov. Oh yeah, that's a deep cut, I know, or I guess I go back man wait. How do you say,
last time. I think she has knit naomi yom tov, which is good day in Hebrew. Yom tov, yeah yeah. She was around new york where back in the day, I remember so. She was there. yeah, yeah and so yeah. She wanted to see me manage something she was a manager and she wanted to see me do something that was like my own and I'll, I didn't know who she was, and I said all me and my best friend agra doing a sketch show at second city or it's basically us trying to be like bob and David and she's like. Oh, it's funny cause my husband's bob odenkirk and I was like well that's that's because my writing partner lives with your sister, because we were we crazy I met this girl anna on craigslist and she was. do you guys, like mr show, watching this issue, show that's my brother in law? Really well, so we secret. Got their home number. My friend craig and I used to get drunk and call bob odenkirk and leave like messages, like mr show, on yeah
I remember telling them that long time ago, nice, clarity, too practical question. So you were living with Naomi sister was yeah where's yeah he's he's writing yeah. still here yeah, we came out sometimes same time year. Two thousand, Didn't know me have like I'm trying to put this together. Can she ever a dude that she represented a sketch guy, heavyset guy that died? Yeah he's my favorite gems, all of it now, let's play that with the general were doing together and Jim. is the reason why new so much about disco demolition than him. Barber writing a movie about the disco damage that was a history drunk history after it was yeah. But yes
down there, but anyway yeah that was gems. Oliver she was, he was one of her first glance vote guy and it wasn't for him. I I don't think I would still be here. He really helped me either to my one man show and he just yeah. He put me in this play that I to meet bob and so naomi manage you still. Yes, still the arcane yeah, that's great marilla. and then you, but so how does it lead at his career unfold? So you know from her managing you here. You work with bobbed imbibe produce something about produces. Show how dare simon I did with Simon. How burke, on the big bang theory here I know that guy with the haircut or the geeks yeah he's got a haircut. I I think yeah, that's a great jewish guy. Yes, yeah, yes, guy great guy great guy yeah, so we did a sketch show called derek and simon for Hb, oh yeah didn't get picked up at sal,
alpha magazine and bill Hader. It was a real. I liked it a lot, that's a big shot. It was a big shot and we didn't make it. You know it, but it made it to sundance, and that was like. Oh man, we made it to sundance, oh yeah yeah That was a cool culture. I remember a real drunk night for babo incorrect. and you know you're out with a guy that you really look up to your drunk. It's like. I don't know that at that time I was. This is so cool when my here owns fucked up and we got back to our place, a utah where we were staying and worse, o er, saying in a house like six or eight people, when we got home, I was maybe like one or two and no one was up and were just sitting there like. Where is everybody? And I look next to Bob and it's a picture of like a wife and her kids and I'm like
or in the wrong house, which is certain jill. Anything like that. You will allow that we have no idea who they are like. However, I have the wrong how stories are still cities? As you are aware, the water was wrong how stories from every town in a year really yeah, because all the houses are the same feel like I've heard like several like wrong house stories, because it was that development costs for development yeah just walking yeah, because they all look the same. The houses I mean the sound of a bird inside of a house's pedro vine, but imagine somebody walking and just putting their groceries away and just says idea that it's not their house. God, that's fucking, scary! That's a nightmare! fuck em on said, I walk into the run. Trailers, sometimes unlike what's happening, right, yea stuff- is that yeah? That's petrified, so
you get all these in any start, acting cause you pop up in a lot of stuff yeah. I did sick sitcom called married to the Kelly it the abc sitcom. I got my two thousand and three forerunner, and that was kind of that was That was making a lot of money for nothing. how many money one, but it was gray great, and I'm really glad that it failed, because it was I was twenty two and it made me realize this is going to be real fucking hard. This is only really hard right and I'm glad that had happened right two or three then yeah, yeah, yak, then the one I was over. I like That was airing on tv be seal friends from high school's hot chicks, slut like from score, calling you and leave a mozilla so file, and then it's over nothing here and that's when I start drinking that's when you realise, like that, there's no like this, like even when you you'd be hit. It
You can go right, go just go away, yeah, I know he's, you might not get another one, no ever the certainties our drink well, yeah. That's when I started thinking about what this is. This is going to be a tough but he's going to be tough I agree there can be a tough life, I'm going to make it more difficult. Well, that's true! Yeah! That's true! it turned out to be here. You are now asking their south asia that drinking save my life. How much you drinking now on not like that. A young offering, I don't know I don't drink during the day. I've. Never s number that rate alcohol, stared ass. You got that they did and how often do you drink I'll wait till the sun goes down at night, move move yeah I it yeah it took yeah. I was I One say like I got her eyes: ever heavy heavy drinker that song
at the very song that was the one from it was in pulp fiction: c'est la vie, is it called salary? I'm a? isn't that the one that they would dance to that that that that that betterment yeah, but that's an actual chuck berry right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and sieger- covers, I didn't know, seek recovery yeah last song greatest hits. So what is the inception of drunk history? What what is the mythology? How does it? How does it unfold? It started as a video bit right yeah. It started as just how this could be funny. was the first one which encourage thurston was with Michael Sarah, and guy neri mark Aguilar de they out. That was the first one then it Jen, was the third one right, but that and it was just like all this could be funny, and I think there something when I
moved out here? I really don't like when people love to tell you how smart they are- and I remember being this release is like being a party Do you wanna play celebrity and I'm, like god, damn is the beginning of this fuckin life out here we're playing party games, running charades, shit yeah. I hate it I am so they put in these names that and in our europe acting. You know, like tom cruise Tom Selleck you no actual famous people, they started sergeants. All these pupils hang out like put in like spencer, quaint and he invented the yo jar, just shit that I was like fuck you. I don't like when people just cry- and I also didn't go to college and I was in a lot of slow classes, mostly slow classes. Growing up, I think I have like a chip on your shoulder. I don't like smart, our. I like people,
are smart. I don't like people that tell me they're, smart right- and I remember thinking lie of you know it'll, be really funny as someone that thinks they're, so smart, just getting fucked up We find their alike mistake the out with right. I have more than a lily human idea. Yeah yeah sounds like a goddamn poison, but I dunno. I just thought all that could be funny once he. I never thought it would be anything except for that, but then it became we did but was a care member, the first few, but it was the device as clear where that what were you doing exactly like that produced one where yet costumes in there? You know where you're going in time in the year. It was, I think, like the beginning. Ones were more what I like strive for and its heart when you get a tv show that you got a budget, but I really like it, feeling like a student film like trying to do reenactment
very likely aim for government led the really bad actors just trying their hardest to like take it seriously. With that evolved into something bigger yeah, but it's good, our very lucky. It's down! It's about to be the fifth season and you die like fifty of them. Stories we ve done. I a hundred and seventy seven, the so it's the white there to a show, sometimes three year. How reaction yeah and you got you can get some nominations for best costume or chia yeah. We won for costumes and lonely for anime and won an emmy for costumes. I didn't I own two costumes anymore, but my mom I've taken my mom. The amazon loss lost both. So what's your mom? Do she he's a retired preschool teacher, no yeah, yeah she's great lady, but you may you about she pride, they had a good time. All she long and given your relationship with your folks, you re happy. She was there when he lost guess what derek there
property brothers want to be on your program who the fuck are the property rights a man we might your mom like to be on your show. I guess these reality. I know yeah. Okay, do you have mud? No, I dunno guys who got the property I dont know. If they are, they are. They are thousands or they do that I think they should do that. They do that, but why do I need a jailer? Why run out of people eventually how much? How like? I can't do your show because I don't drink, but you should be in the reenactment. Oh yeah, okay, yeah that'd be good yeah. Did you ask me? I have are they? I thought I d member they're gonna be on one right, but I thought I had drink, but he wanted me to do the reactor drink now know how much I want you to know too how sensitive I am dollar of that like I never allow someone a beyond the show like what's ideals. Or that I can tell as a problem right and I've seen that where people just
you know. I have therapy in my contract for a reason like watching it's awful. It's a rate of fear live there on your contract yeah. What do you mean like you? Have they cut that we have to cover my mental health of like don't you get that any of it like with writers, guild, yeah, okay, yeah, no, it's nice to have in the country yeah! I don't have to pay. right any anyway, you getting by your friends because of this poison lives. In sign of them, your head up really out of my house, fuck you you don't love me like that, trying to exploit me. Oh yeah, really yeah and that's why I drink with them at the top. So they feel We're doing this together. Now you're, not like right, monkeying aroun on dry make reservoirs like but yeah. It becomes like a cops episode at the end of its not taken Really right. How many times does that happen?
I dunno not as much now now that I've kind of I can see when the switch happens. Yeah which of like when a character changes. That's why I'm like nah we're not doing this but when they mess up a word or they tell me something they just told me like minutes ago yo their drunk rise. If they do that, look at you and my father now and I I I'm also good at my pet. Neither one of my parents drink never have never had it and lost friends over this idea for sure for sure I've lost friends. Well, I would say lag or even who known people that don't like you any more? Oh, no! No, no that's! The best part is as more that I don't like that, but they no matter who it is. It's just the proof of the poison, every single women being that's ever done? The show calls me the next day to apologize, really that's what alcohol does yeah and then or if they don't comments in email like I'm, so sorry we didn't get it I'll, be happy
like redo. I was eating either so that you can use no. They don't think they did a good job, That's what I hope it makes. You feel like shit to feel bad about embarrassment know you did it. So I always start then night going like no matter what by the other night you'll, never believe that we have the story, but I promise you I will not leave here. Until we have the store. Has anyone asking not to run him. I can really like you that and also the trust that I get the no inside. You mind if I like see that gives you now some people say some feisty things on there you could do a lot of down since you have, but why would I do that right had how much throwing up his remain? I hate her, mark now you know just to either I want to show it. I don't
I remember what is going on. There were to be wearing anything that was like. They were some of the eta. Let them go, get sick and yeah. I think I'll. Just tryin, I'm resumes like when a pitcher there, it's a little too much like jackass, also what as their puking here but anyway, I don't find puke funny. I do find it funny if someone wants to tell you a story. excited about Emily puke and then they still When I tell you the story, is I'm not Anyone after I love that love that It's happened. Oh yeah, oh yeah! I still got to tell you the story. I now just clean up man just clean that shut off your mouth but yeah.
Throw up yeah. I know I'm not into that, and now I have this stuff that you take before you drink and it's just like and it hydrates you. It was made for athletes to stay hydrated throughout the game. We take that and then the charcoal pill and have never had a hangover you've never had hanger. Do you make the other people do that? Oh yeah yeah and we have a medic there? What to do, though, like the blowing the hour when they have to leave me the yeah yeah, to start it and finish it and that's a real eye opener really world yeah there's certain numbers that like airline once there there, we can't we can't film them anymore and then will you have no idea are alike, not acting drunken and they blow in your like all my guy. Some people can hold their uncle. Those are the people Unfortunately, I have on the show that much because it's like going to take forever,
sorry but like I'm, not I kill him yeah, it's going to kill him and ledges some people hold their alcohol really well. The seasons on the can right on yeah all finished. This was the most we've ever done was to took sixty three weeks to make. It was forty. Forty two stories fear I love it, but man I'm tired, we're hunter. I just got back from a try, took a trip. I drove to the grand canyon, never been there. Grace Dona. Have you ever been there sure I'd loved it yeah? It's not disappointing does and there's a does national of those seven wonders of the world or whenever there they something deliver yeah, I know, but I've been delivers. I was a dick and still am, but I was a dick about where I was always like, oh you can get. I understand what a picture looks like. I understand the grant, it's probably big, you can't even imagine it stunning went by myself. Did you go out on that? Indian ram? No, I think that's the north mia so I was on. I was just on the center.
quieter, one yeah. How much do that yeah you know I hear scrape It- is crazy. It's beautiful what that stuff, like can do to the human body. because he had before trump. You start hey drilling or learn national far and is also. There is good talking to you. thank you MA am, I think we covered it who's on the issues on the seas and that their mark merit now next season, the booze on this one. Who do we look forward to I will tiffany haddish the narrator Evan rachel wood is in there. Paget brewster is always great. I gotta get tiffany in here. I think yeah you do have you ever met her no she's awesome. I don't think I have met her. I watched her stand up special yeah, she's, she's, really she's a really really like person I've ire fire. Thank you mark was that ok, I said forgotten anything
merits now. He covered the roots we covered by sea. sure we uncover the roots, the band. Just these baltimore routes, Have we there's why questions unanswered? One right, you were right. I ran for what mamma gear, who knows? that guy? As I went to the same high school as the vine, I forgot to tell you that, as divine and Michael Phelps, oh wow yeah. I love that full spectrum. Yeah do you know John waters. I met john waters once and I told him because it's his sorry that my mom, when she was a kid somebody broke into her house and wrote job Waters was here. We grew up in the same neighborhood and I what on that and he's like, I used to break into houses when I was a kid. What else are that stupid? To leave my name Please tell your mother did not break into her house. He is the best. This is the first year of like five
I had a Mr John waters christmas, where he two hours onstage talks about christmas yeah and it is a there. How many people does that's unexciting at a watch. We happen to tell me: remember it's any human! Being that you can do is watch and goes they love with a two year. They love. they are not arrogant, yeah, they just love who they are yeah he's he's the he's great. Yeah, but what did Barry Levin two totally different sides: also a David Simon, that's true yeah. He was on drunk history. I want him to narrate. Oh yeah yeah did he drink? He drank yeah and I was like you know we're just like this is just like an inbetween sketch where we're just like hanging isley. Now I want to get drunk so we drank and ate Alan crabs is great yeah. All right. Thank you mark I graduation is on the success. Thank you, my friend,
okay, that's it You can go to wtf thea five com, slash tour. I believe to find out my dates in April, I'm going to london, dublin, amsterdam, stockholm, oswald by dates there as you. As you probably know, the exact dates right just go w if I d come towards visa fees, parts of the world tour, primarily a vacation that working vacation as they say, a The target of five under I think in the play which are probably play before, like all of them
Transcript generated on 2022-07-30.