« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jay Leno

2019-01-21

Jay Leno (The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The Jay Leno Show, Jay Leno's Garage) is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, television host and true legend. Jay sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss his early years as a comedian, he recounts the moment Rodney Dangerfield had a stroke on his show and he deems Letterman a master wordsmith. Dax is stunned by Jay's car knowledge and he commends Jay's ability to reach out a helping hand to those in need. Jay tells the story of how he tricked his dad into buying a souped-up car when he was young, he remembers a time when he turned a bad situation into a positive one with the help of Taylor Swift and he pinpoints the sole moment he got nervous before performing.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hello everybody welcome to arm chair export, I'm dyin smathers in Manic, a bad man is directly answer me: Blue Blue, her usual Peter sweater! Thank you. The blue light blue slack genes, Denham done Greece, the good that's a good description yeah, but you didn't says I turn on act is a determining if it's a flop, eternal. My ass- I actually covering your neck. Why? As a deceased turtle, it's a placid turtle Before I tell you about our exciting gas, I want to tell you that we are doing a shoe April twentieth at the lenses per forming art centre in Santa Fe New Mexico can be a very I didn't show I love Santa FE. Damn good eats up. There Santa FE who I'm excited so becomes you too your plan on our make carbon out a little time to fill your gullet tickets are going non sail to Morrow January twenty said
at ten a M local time what that means Android, You stern and there will be no now Greenwich mean Grinch Time Mountain time they are in the mountains. You think they'd be in mountain but m. Guessing it tickets go to our website arm, chair, expert pod, dot com and you can be directed to buy tickets. For that you know today, get up a big dog which I think was one of his monitors bill where I think been eighties or nine. These big dog Maybe it was one of his ok. Well, he earned he did J Leno. you know one that comes up in the conversation, but you talk. But a comedian that Dave Letterman described as the best stand up comedian of that whole generation when he was performing. He just
Our house near you, gonna forget when you're sitting here, like he's a legend yessir, absolutely people were killed. am I mean yeah he's just a force to be reckoned with. he's also does a sweet guy. I think I first did his show to promote, hit and run. He had seen it on his own. Anyone to help me reached out to us he's like this. kind of movies people should be trying to see. May yourself so generous invited me to his his garage, which of course is if you're into cars MCA its MECCA, its major mecca power Heaven so without further Ado, please enjoy J. Leno he's First of all, I think we are ambitious Robin Monica- and I would like this- is a really big yet
oh yeah yeah, but I showed you have cell small this now. This is a really big, get and you're crazy busy and we're going to get into that I would say, and unhealthy clip you're. You ve been out for some time, Mongolia that I could get my highly within that you know it so funny or I go I was a very diverse anybody new here, unlike the heart, is working with us. Nobody, so It just New England, verses Ella, we all love from Detroit. We work on a hard their Detroit. Did you write you know that about, IRAN by another people realize it's about you. I found this to be shocking, that you do two hundred dates a year still are what are you down to now? One fifty about to tend to under hand. Lives shows a year its market. You know, that's the only way you stay sharp the stage, not a natural place to be higher. We don't do. who had on a regular basis. It becomes unnatural if you do that. We need a cheerful,
solver somebody else or something when you it's unfamiliar to you in something here, Knox you out of your rhythm You know what I when I got started. I would practice my jokes at home in right, with my other, with my left hand, to train compartmentalize reminds you could talk and do something at the same time and that helps you add live. Could you get on stage? I'm looking at you, I now I see Monica Signal Vandam say what can I say about what can I say that, as my act is commoner, so then what appears to be Now the lab is not really mad low but slightly up very written. Sadly pre written yeah, yeah yeah. I know You say you were writing stuff down how soon that start, when you started writing common way, not anticipate talks, are never really wrote anything down. My attitude towards microwaves, same attitude at school. I never studied, but I never skip this class. I never skip the day a school, so I would just if you're talking at me.
I can absorb alive. If I'm reading it my mind warrant would set a fly, worries Owen, gonna, just watching the flash shut up. I'm listening! Oh ok, that that works better. For me now, ok grip you unite, share Dyslexia, Harmon, okay, and I know how bad they were treating it. Nineteen, eighty five trade. It would advocate it s, Martha S, mind up setting us not out of a smile at the prow got out. I got I that you pay attention, come on, yeah, that's what you're, but what I would I have realised is a bit of an asset you develop with Dyslexia is what you just mentioned, which is this incredible capacity for retaining things you hear orally are things you focus on? I mean enough allotted. They get dyslexic parents Folliot this, like that. We ok, this is little Timmy wherever it, and I also want to mention it. While he lost photography- and nobody knows is seen as every camera. You know and that's what people dyslexia than to do. They find something alike.
and they focus on it like a laser. They just stay there, sometimes sometimes to the extent of everything else goes away for the most part they do they. They focus on something and become what good will it such a relief right to excel at anything, ruining my general most of the elementary experiences pretty rough yeah, and you know anybody because I have become an expert in one area, you have a scale you now something viable, something you can sell could do no more than the other people about this. Yeah now did you. How did you feel stupid? But did you didn't understand right that you had some logical different. Now I never like. I was in the fifth gray before I got glasses and paper. I say I see the man in the moon go man in the moon. I've got psycho, I see a ghost in glowing by me what the peep people are crazy. When they talk about man them. My parents are, you think illegally,
driving. Everybody got that what they meant by the universality go through life. Do not realise saying that I'm panicking, as I have no awareness that there's a man on the other. We need to have a move that I let them as on the man and we don't know so much about ally but Back EAST, where the skies there are in the northern Latitude Mavis. Let me say that Europe can I take them, and now please do now. Oh really is Mavis. This is so wonderful we're about to learn. What are you get? Thirty on airs use commie until you get back ok and under a pod gas acclaim acts as I finish Ok, I'll get my back me up replant. She had you not at least appear to me to have the chip on your shoulder that I have, which is like I'm desperately trying to prove any hour the day that I'm smart. I well. It's probably not as obvious. I think, when your shovel
gotta have a chip on your shoulder. I mean your kid. You can't remember every injustice, no matter how small share and you you forget, but you don't forget you just you know my mother, I said to me: you're gonna have to work twice as hard as the other kids to get the same thing not always seem like a viable solution than me. That always seem fair. I'm a writer. The improper New York and now in the early days and you'd line up at six o clock on Sunday night for a ten or eleven clocks, and I'll get in line, and every three or four people familiar. I suck summed up about here and they walk away seven or eight, and I go greater just move up, but I I could stay there. I could sit there all night waiting to do it with other people. One that winter is embedded in other egos yards yarn, and that's one thing I learned really on you know I'm a huge believer in low self esteem.
The great engine. Now it is a great engine, because if you have low self esteem, you don't think you're the smartest person in the room- and you not. I was the first to talk, so maybe a little list. You know when I go somewhere, I go. Let me look around this room. Ok, ok, that's Neil digress! Thyssen! he smarter than me right down there. The couch does Anatomical Smith, ok I'll sit and the man right here you which we identify the spectrum in my area and the and that's what I do. I never assume why by got this, I don't I never I'll I'll is assumed like Will Rogers Journey is funny. Is your last joke? Let's see I've done, you show couple times right, the that nature and then also Didier Car share. Ireland was garage. I was good yet and then I went and hung out at Europe. Your gracious enough to invite me. Oh yeah, Mcgraw, yes, which is mecca for carbon nerds like us. So it knows. I guess that's really not a ton of exposure to you, but in those four short times I've I've crafted some theories on you.
This is my favorite. Let's say: does he sees wearing a t shirt by the way that was a total fuck? whence. I wonder you, I'm wearing nominal garage you're, going to see that no, but This is great. I did. I thought I was wearing his do genuine. How did you see that decide. Now when I went online, those grudge I were dead among Denham to Madame DE as I am now in homage to Gemma but yeah. I woke up this morning on the shore and then Monica reminded me walls at my other job. Hey
remember we have one or today and then I was like our how embarrassing and wearing his shirt or our how grey area I really where real life that was alive, everything advice, overdue, jaywalking attic, I would ever shirts it is, chose garage, something yeah I got it most of you have been to gels. Grant. No do you know that is now the ethical questions. If certain right on that, he cannot be addressed. Where it is. I never heard of it. We're Soldier Street is now. What did you looking realised that churches appetite, but you ok, so here's one of my theories are right. You're, very hard work. Now, whether you want to downplay and say that is because you from the EAST coast- and I think, that's horseshit, I think we'd all agree also use it's up to me very interesting. I think I'm boy say betraying your confidence that these ideas people you ve, never been in it like them either. I really
now. For I believe me, I went into an eighty nine July fixing alike and once with the life you know, it is because I I guess it's my houses, Beverly, Hills which is foolish and I walked towards the poor man. I hear that Boston Voice when he's gonna had shit he's a pool. All days out, you do when you got under way. Gus unbroken around here was nigh to make another fix what you subway was sitting the poor we do. We can only give you his hearing before now and now get wet What am I gonna get about gathered about. The new guidelines are reason that you all that the ice there must be something I can do besides said the poor. Now I don t know I haven't got it. I just feel to you. So there was that then another little clued psyche rose. You said Mavis vacations, often with their like girlfriends or whatever she travels. I should say vacations. She wondered if she liked to go to you I'll, send her in a whole graduating classes, arms. I will have to go their major areas like it,
add their disneyland altogether, we're gonna Hawaii once and I go on the beach was ten o clock. and I saw the beach about an hour and a half, maybe two hours. Then I look. Look it's ten after ten, my watch How can I tell my wife, you guys get skills we circular zero times you could send out to tender, Then maybe I thought I was here like going out. You might really it's, but it's only time after two. How long is this day here, I came on the next day. Uganda now is, do you know she didn't? Armas men bring you tiny drinks of them brothers in a minute. Some odd place, it's ok, ok, so we're getting into. I quite often try to figure out idioms. Why do the things I what why? Why is good and what? Why is it that you insane Togo on great that way? But we do have the area but you're here When I go inertia, we're gonna, look at cars and we're going to think about
identity was Eid EL? I have discussion all time, there's no more fun place to be their onstage. Telling jokes I mean like the most fungi, in the world totally agree and when you're not gonna go. What am I doing here? I could be anyone there, I also that low self esteem for you. What am I doing on a Tuesday, that's worth a hundred grand as I listen. I hear you but but here's my question. So we all our identity right, you even you, J, have yours and you have like. I don't know three things you think are good qualities. There may be why why may MRS Van with you for thirty years, I have my list Things are good about myself. We have a lot in common. Yes, So I hope I will not go. And yes, I will see people marriages so hard, ass, a utopian school round, it's really not art where women tend to be very loyal creatures. For the most part, are someone's I've dated and unless you screwed up some way its yearly putting it on that site on you in that
Why haven't you know? I I don't think you're means access in. I envy I really envy that Bell and Christian I require a pretty day. the dialogue to keep at home and smoothly. We now granite we're bulk easy busy and she's doing a lot of things. We have too little kid. It requires a shitload of maintenance, Iraq as an italian car, but it's not that much. Is it really that hard? It's not really If I wanted to be good, yes, now we can coexist. I can definitely disk Oh exist with her me last year, were in this together were reason these kids as long as they do- and I was not any so so for it to be thought well on any of my favorite thing, I will meet these guys. I met this girl back she's like crazy. The second somebody evil illegal Amazon and I got ok, here's the downside, ok, sexual crazy girls is great, but when the sex is over,
still crazy right. Does Mexico the value of the areas that I have twenty three hours, more of crazy for good, crazy part color how s the idea, but it gave you at a moment where you said yourself. Ok, this beast top three things I think are good qualities of mine. Maybe I've missed maybe of Miss diagnosed. I can give you an example. The ballroom yoga where I am from childhood I had been so they would stand up. Two guys was was a good quality did to me, like the bodies is I'm again or just might before friends is out another group before friends, I I'm going to fight with you running gonna. To be there, that's an important thing.
I live in LOS Angeles. There's no reason to be this way anymore. Yet I continue to be that way for twenty five years and I really still think in my head. Oh might what my wife likes about me. One thing she likes to amuse them. I will protect her if the shit it's the fan around she had to tell me was I don't like it. I actually feel more endanger when you're around, because you're ready to go to that place with people, and I actually don't feel safe, and I had to go back ok, some slightly wrong about that me thinking. Great driver. I would actually say that that something people would listen well how these are three. I thought the right yeah yeah right, you re Skydrive, is like sex. All men think they're good at what they really now really there. You are left to talk, knew the other person but ok now now morning them back to you. So I guess it's simple. I think it's important union for people to know about you. your hard worker did. You wouldn't lounge about near poor, and I want to know what part of that is your mom's from Scotland right. She came when she was eleven, but my parents were updated.
oppression, very good. I come a very all family. My grandfather was born in eighteen. Fifty seven, while that he was born but pray, the civil war or before the civil war yeah. Ok, my dad was born a nineteen ten, so everything was the depression, and it was. This, though, is that we have a letter from the black hand when all was the precursor to the mafia, and my sicilian. Now that not all of them, he it was the Vienna sugar car. They wanted money enemy. It's like what MIKE, when my grandfather came here at times, were classified as non white, soon you'll put in this category. In fact, my grandfather show me off once about against railing against the towns, be somebody somebody had written a kind keep emigrating. In fifty years well I'll, be eating pizza and notwithstanding they gonna want Billy. I but see I like that about America like Salsa just pass ketchup is the biggest condiment sure
as long as Europe, people, the South American, now recover Mexico, and neither markets also think anything like yourselves, and the US, so it just it's God, it's a big melting. What's funny, those their fear was real, really panda yeah. We are all in peace and as for certainly accept Papa Johns, but yeah yeah, but yet dad is first generation from ITALY. Mom is really from Scott, my Mama's from Scotland. Here too, there is a double there's about a trip they actually have the depression and you also have first generation. The work ethic them make it in this place. All that stuff is really present in your childhood. It is an eye, but to me I think, that's good. I mean who jaywalking once and we're not gonna House and the grandfather answer. The door spoke, no, english, Spanish, that he got the son who spoke Spanish in English and then his grandson teenage comes over
he's gotta Simpson kind of pork. By hat with a few something I got just to watch it can generate rapporteur to pick it up. Is everybody becomes? Americans are you come over water, hamburgers and pizza franchise amid the whatever it is, and it just so. You always need that influx of of sort of work ethic too, to take over from the next year. Yes, but what a part of it. So I think that that that's clear in the ingredients of J, but then what part of it is, give any embarrassed or shame about the fact that you make a living just being funny. Is there some element that you feel like? Oh ok, kind of embarrassing. I do that to make money, so I'm gonna do it a shit load to make up for that to prove well.
but I'm still working, my ass off is exactly. I think that so I mean I think it's you know. I remember our king used you a bit about that about. Exhaustion is rich men's disease, Larry's, exhausted maize, worthy of dumping, whose success Meanwhile, a guide Dignan. I call my boss clapboards, get tat at all. You thought about better, take a bag of their work because he can't be exhausted, but the guy you just sits of computer come exhausted. I can I get a lie down, but the guy down their dig a hole in the coal mine all day. Now he can afford to be exhausted. So yet it is a rich man, disease, its first world problem. You know to me the best people in show business wants it. Nothing employing never complained, never explained in all, that's what it is doing and what the house they never explained work. I just don't complain that don't explain you know you got up now. I dont know problem some fine, ok, just the I just go
July, because to me rich people don't have any problems, I'm I'm sorry. I know that sounds we're in a ha, but most people's problems could probably be handled by having a mortgage paid or some rather like, like in my house, I'm like a big shot. When I go back home not. Now J gets the big meatball, not Jake S. A big me fall because he put the roof and the Louise out any paid the kids college. Any data J gets the vague, maple, ok, but I get that I get. The big me pot and in its current data, is fine, and I like that, it's fun to be in that in that position, yeah they can get lonely. I know I don't have the big people you ve earned the big me when you go back to my because you know I mean those thousand funny arousing kid. The between the scotch in Italian, like I gotta navvies, how certain my mother sister! Would you like a school Jimmy and she can be a stale, biscuit, no warm cope, and she too, you know Jimmy. You dont need to keep the Coca COLA refrigerated. It tastes the same across money to keep up
but it is the same and she poured warm and saw the physical madame. Then she gave me the snail biscuit and then on Sundays. We go to italian side of the family and there'll be way more food and my aunt Netteke Jimmy look at the wish to meet this. Eight people must be thirty people Jimmy it's a waste away. The italian people who is food Jimmy that just look at me through the way that could be done and just to watch them argue back and forth was now has made me laugh Ok, but now I'm gonna do disagree with you on one thing: I've got an area, so I was dead. Penniless, ten years living an ally before I got sorry working as an actor. So without ok, it wasn't worse like you say that were really not have problems, but I go that's gonna horseshit nets, Canada, fantasy, were selling but
I dont mind saying what he has my its awesome, not to worry about my kids, medical bills or the price of gas that african rules- and I want to repeat- I dream- think about that's great great great, but in general, my level of we're all anxiety or how much I obsess about. Think that it that it really change with money didn't fix Well, it change for me, I M, so it does ok the end. When you live in it, how do you get a rather? This is why you really you go out in the real world and see what real people to mend it may to appreciate it in I members not long ago, I sought in a girl with a high school talk to a nearby collaboration with mutual friend? Well, I so easily giving good movement the Chagos Amateur get more to go to raise, as which again she goes, a thousand bucks. I wanna call, and I went a week now.
Asshole, I'm illegal because it job is this. You know that the job of you get an extra three grander. We will you, I don't you think like that you don't think the way real people they just and I realize always sounded always someone asked why but you know, what do you talk to sign fell? Do you talk to you? Somebody, a tv show that you raise won't, get a raising thousands that hundreds in your actually negotiating your per week fee. Episodes actually make sense to ask here here, but you do do feel guilty about that. Like Kristen feels a good amount it's about that mean I do a lot. I have a lot of foundation to have a lot of charity thing. Some gives the college do stuff. Like tat, I mean that's great. Finally, that really you know it really does make. You feel good. You know when you can pay for kids college kids go eager and you realize when I was a kid there was there was:
student dead. I didn't know what it's like now, I'm a forty year old guys at o a hundred thousand dollars, and I echo what did what But the college you into Emerson and hear what was tuition a year at Emerson. It was well if you live in the dormant was five grand ear back. Even I want to use ie allaying graduate in two thousand and nine was thirty. Eight hundred bucks a year for my tuition, Here you see, I think, is sixty thousand now you're like crazy, who the fuck and send their kids that raising exactly I dont feel guilty about it because I go it's crazy, big risk, it's an incredible gamble to pursues Diana Comedy show business in general. It is is that the odds are such that you know if you make it is like playing lottery, so I kind of like the pay should be common with the crazy risk, because I was certainly had a college degree friends of mine whereby and ski boots and share in cabins up nor I right and I'm not one bit him apartment cockroaches in Santa Monica, MIKE
this isn't maybe not going to work out. The scheme can only I gotta rested twice or vagrancy did euralia up on Hollywood boulevard. When I it the cops, it see, may go hey, can you got a place to live yet one get in the back and they put me back there police car and they drive around till. They shift ended its like six or five hundred and thirty, and I will get out of Walk round Hollywood boulevard marrow very nice to me sure I would just tell em jokes itself in the car. You know the council roused me they would just what he don't get in the back and new jobs so hours or try to have some kind of job. As kids got a funny. You know They are also gave him dia back my star. The Hollywood Walker Fame is where I get picked up twice. Here and there. But it's ok look! So you go to school, dyslexic. That's not easy, and what kid are you in high school like? What would stress are you in? Why are you like? Like a funny, is kid and class all kinds of stuff you I was like. I was at a mean kid in
I finally wheels. I don't have to apologise for not being the pissed off angry comic, Not I'm, not angry, I'm not an angry guy, but you feel, like all you have to attend because you're all communities like they feel they have some sort of open wound in the audience. see they're doing yes in spite of that, but you realize that just a crutch, because that's what you use While I was funny I was high the whole time and I was funny because they don't want to deal with the real them, so they perform drunk or they perform high While there are, they have some sort of anxiety or how the relationship from somebody it's keeping them from being the best they can be not realising. This is the best that they can be. you know- and I realized I used to try and work as if I had that, but down what I love about use you in my mama, roughly the same age, now get your from a different generation than I am, and I love a lot of you
in just get over yourself in fact, can make the jokes and now here I like it right joke tell Joe chance. That's that's what it is. I l joke get chair I like, yeah, but at the same time causalities for everything right. So one thing is you probably just you were born quick witted or whatever you had some peculiar point of view. That made your observations funny and in in the original to people that heard them, but also You wanted some attention for whatever reason we're gonna be. these, I write really funny. They get attention, I think all cometh to remember stuff. They said that got a reaction and that's way able to remember and act. You don't remember the stuff It wasn't funny. I mean my recollection, that was, I was four or five, and my mother took me to some Oh some Ladys, my answer somewhere haven't with tee and we want to his apartment Brooklyn,
my ride in the elevator and I'm sitting there and is like five or six women, and you know the drinking wine all giggling away. You know, does watching these women. I asked what I thought was a reasonable question as the mob why women all have humps like camels. The world war will soon be remembered speaking and give youth movement, and they are now more than ever. When this is cute, I did something good What can I say what I said that gonna reaction? You know the and the next time and hat was in the fourth grave, as MRS Alan's class member. She was talking about this of Nottingham and how cruelly was, and he she would often take when they caught ramrods men. They were boil and an oil, and I put my hand repellor. I said you know why she did that to talk and she said No. Why? Because he was afraid she was squabbling me
I could see her kind of smiling and I went out and I think she I think you like and then later in the hall. I was working on that on the other issues that Jacob here miss Hale, but you said: Miss outclassed were something more. What was fired too? As always earlier our ocean? She told somebody else jargon at school and then I learned very quickly in the fifth grade. Callin show, and it was me- and I think it was Java station. I wrapped in advantages, has detestable stooge. I refuse wrapped the badges head to toe New York name. I would get Joanne, I wheeled the men on the handcart and he had the two thousand b c. He was a mummy and I had a plan for the authority and say: what's that number on his chest, I got a licence but the chocolate that I've got a big laugh. Then I realized I got nothing from you
browsing Joe now he's a rapid among relies. Ok, no more prop comedy. I got abstract and now I got a guy gets the money they have got. You gotta get him on. I say here or you can go that's all I had the one job run is rosy that will let you know that what is tremendous memory we remember the lambs. His mom is the same. My mom, I interviewed my mom in here, and she knows I saw she knows every single students name. She went to school. It's incredible. You know he shouted the years, Mary Lou Hanner. Oh, I know about her has super memory. Super memory instincts was on sixty minutes. They ve mile that yeah there's a handful of we went out for a while. She can tell you that what we had for dinner, how much the Czech was. I mean it's if you said to her July. Thirteen. Sixteen eighteen
Friday. I mean she again. She can tell you the weather, oh yeah, she's, really smart and accordingly, that segment was that they had like five or six people that had that here and what they found in the area of the brain that is responsible for that is also were oecd lives. So all those people that have that are also oecd survey. Mary Lou talked about her her closet in the way her shoes or organise everything in her life is meticulous, rising, yes, fascinated evidence as funny, so you you're like a ball. Indeed, you also fine being funny. Is it's a great way to start chatting with gals right? I think so. I said I ve never been in my girls, I like girl, ok, what I always like girls I was found. The kindness were, I never got You know they call seven the age of reason, because it is the age of reason. Every kid I knew was a bully at seven is still
out of a bully, everybody was shy. At seven is still come. I mean everybody, you know the kids. We shouldn't be begun. The birds when I was seven I didn't want to she birds, one machine birds of be begun. Remember getting picked on for that, want to do that and then those I still don't equivalent, but I mean so it doesn't really change. I agree though, but it did you find, I wonder because you know have similar Hobbes, so I often, men situations words like ha. I love this thing, and yet these aren't my people do not make any sense, because it makes perfect sense. We got by bigots because, as a comedian neared observer, a hidell do anything that show business, I don't drink and smoke and anti drugs.
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Yeah. Having Charlie Sheen on the show was, I was very funding to make us out. I I don't wanna be Charlie's about ones I my Charlie, we started job he's just then I like coconuts ochres and the audience of wondered what what do you want? I realize you're like just because he was so. You want just applauded honesty and sentiments out. You know every time a group or hookers would push what a charming Mercedes Benz. The MILAN driver to go down the road uppercliff. I always used to make me laugh. I don't wanna be that person, but I enjoy It's an amazing. I on fire does not enjoy observing. I didn't fit in here and I didn't fit in there, but that I like not fitting in anywhere I like observing arrival. I am not religious at all, but I like religious people, I e they seem to have a centre and it works for them. Now
and that's ok and I like us, I don't drink gonna smoke, so we have something in common I am sure you know and plus one you work when you're in a businesslike showbiz, something people think you're good and some people think you suck and they're both correct when you take someone is broken and fix it. Nobody can say it's not running member that I brought here that didn't run, which are the key. You can't say it's not right I'm wondering if you were in again you you. This is not for you, you and Jerry. I admire both India. If you ever been curious, why you were gone the car so much as I feel like for me personally, I have figured out my why and are. In fact, when I was doing your show, I think I tried to get you to go down this road with me. I'm a control freak. I want to control everything and again I got my childhood there a lot elements. I can't control, and then I found this thing like as to your point. If you take this piece of the engine off and you put it back on correctly and you put a new part on, it's gonna work it right. I find it
deeply satisfying that it's a little realm that does abide by all these laws of physics is an engine needs camper. ocean spark or fuel and air, and if it you know that you are going through the checklist. I love that. What plus I like, the fact you doing two things at once lie to me moving in eating. At the same time, that's fabulous here. eating. Call your movie that when I was a kid there's nothing greater than we gotta Mcdonalds. Boy that and then I'll be eating, as were so. I feel like I'm going to think that once, eating at moving or MA, am accomplishing two things at the same time like when I fly, I read it our guy right. I go good, I'm stuck here and I'm doing something while I'm going somewhere, so I'm actually account Things are happening not just a slogan, not just lying here like a puddle. I'm actually accomplishing something. I'm doing something. No wonder you form of the cars. Do you
Remember what hours since I was a little kid I'm over my uncle was I had my cousin married, a guy who was a cop and he came over there and he had a fifty six Harley Anne had. I was six years old. Was at one with the two tone when she'll Nan and I'm the wench. There was one of those in other girl afresh. where the girls it wasn't about, keeping, is likely to peace, bathing suit, and maybe there's you could see her belly button meet each other. So I went to look at my mother. Get wait like we ve met. I set my I'm just gonna want never mind, look at the try to look at the button, so I was. I was fascinated by Hurley from that point on: don't look at them The animals get out. I wasn't looking that wasn't like you. Look at the models. Did your dad ethical gone ever came home from the hospital and fifty forty nine Plymouth. Then we bought a fifty seven Plymouth. Fury black and white rivalry orders and there are shown the Europe that we bought a sixty four for the sales, whose name was Tom, Laurent Chechen Motors,
and then we trade that sixty six forward from farm warrants a we go and that afford dealership after buying the sixty four galaxy. You're gonna get a sickly six galaxy and it's all fair lanes falcons, whereas where, whereas a false I've got whenever I go to show regardless, like an otter car allies, gothic forty six, we ass a public order car you some desert, come on cancer. We get the galaxy like you got two new area, giving no virtue this. So I said I said to my mama: I order the engine. You know my mother said, like the boy ordered the engine Does it I said? Ok, so I had what I want greater problem desire is that we want the seven leader Galaxy, even if the police pursuit package, I want the Muslims believe option. I want to see six automatic the bucket seas. I couldn't get my dad to give orders that are for online and nano for twenty eight all records when forty or so while as well. I sides has just sign here: probably sites within Europe.
six weeks I buy a car, they never got. We got down new travel together over the buckets bucket Without the bucket say. That's over. There comes out cheats under what bucket, though, for Christ's sake I find so. My guy gets a car a trip. a key, because I know Mr Botz alarmist removed the level you all that much the muffled in what are you? What are you muffler gully? Looking unchecked muffled deleted, my father? Look there. We got point pursuit back now, about how I love it. You gotta have a price. I get back, got their partner, so my mother gets into the back. You know my father gets there be tried security puts it drive. You just have something of a tiger.
It is also about you just scraper. We, although we should speak to people like a week, but then he just give me the Cultural River, but about a month later, members bedroom and my parents who look after them my father gotta take over one hundred and ten o one doubt it was the coolest guide the off because he was the manager. Now he had the fact since car went to launch the oil by they want to go and Mr Lehne, because the other factors car. So we got me but one day, four hundred intense. I was kind of funny. So out of Addy, like that, do you have that car? I wrap that one around a tree but you did what I but when you came to my garage, you saw my maroon seventy six six galleys Galaxy with the five live, Roush, more rented sick, speed man, you all idea just submitted yours was found it. So I brought my friend Tom Hansen to your garage entitlements. Is a bona fide encyclopedia of cars and bicycles and motorcycles
say is a major issue by mostly foreign policies collected over the years, but I generally with him. I can talk about seventy percent of the way there and then he loses me at some single barrel carburetor. I was on a ferrari or something I don't think forever came with a single barrel, harbouring over no many single by our yea. Rather more. Those had lost two barrels, always Weber tumor, are they were always web? I've got some of those now. Those are two problems, a luminous amorium bear no yet for Toolbar schooled. I bring some Hansen than you I start talking start, you don't start smack road starts with it's a v8. It's a four hundred and twenty seven, it's the rap. It's you know they were talking about the cam and then we get to. Like I don't know Turkey main bearing torque cuttings yeah and I'm out.
Out at some point, and then I see you guys keep going, and then I noticed, oh, my god, I've never seen this look on Tommy and sins face he's out information Jays still going still has another. wrong of information and we left there and I go. Oh my god. You just got out Tom Hansen. Why it was. It was something witnessed. So when I would be all know, Jays a car guy, I dont think they really understand too. What level is declining? I'm talking like every bolt of the injured, while let him in his arms less knowledge which loud any particular use any. That means Sab. It's it's in its the mouse in depth, knowledge, I've ever witnessed in I had I would even known. Unless I saw communism bail out that without the beauty of the whole experience, so do you think that that's wrapped in the dislikes
a bit prior right was ever something I can rely on me. I don't like to read fiction. I because feel like this didn't happen where my reading this, so I tend to highlight three technical things or manuals, her history of transportation and things like that. So its knowledge, which is a very of use to anybody, but now driving the first time you get in the car and you go. Oh, my goodness. I am entirely in charge of the sky. I moved this the same thing happens every time and I hit the gas and the sentence predictable up one when I was twelve. We are. We live knowingly the rural area and somebody abandoned and all Renault Foresee, veal for similar Renault Car, the card of abandoned here. So we got it running it. We will just drive around our backyard and my mom and watch from the dining room window in the four of us guys just driving the scar over feels in Burma, and course now there
poor child services in the past have been taken away, but if I led back, then kids could do that kind of stuff. You can't really do them anymore. Now, it's your! U mixing dangerous gases in fluids, an oversight Then it was fairly common. It was time you weren't lighting, something on fire. Arranged riotous, really he's right delighting. Seven fire was always one. Indeed, you have only a double forty and in a big, lighter. Oh yeah, that's it! You know our ravine. Forty comes from what was developed by the arm. In the army wanted a water dispersant. They wanted. Somebody get spray on a surface with dispense water, it took them forty, tries so die as water dispersing fortieth try two days ago, a more useless by learning. You know I just recently realised and within two years ago that Arby's why it's called army
No one's gall armies are behind. Me rose. Be that bellew right over my head, the sacred to our Bee Arby's was the slicer because they couldn't slice roast beef enough, maybe profitable Jolly rose before I came to fix licence. The guy with the sandwich was never consist in. One sandwich might be this big, not assembly, this big, so they involve a slice of they could lose slice it almost like onion skin newspaper and then you could folded sick of it for five falls. Looked like a lot more real, speedier looking a pound of money right when I was a kid, my pop about we're. Taking our reason and all I would do a stare at that slice mice over. There are many things I love her just how easily your fingertips, yeah, guess again and now exactly exactly. But you drive us all Renault in what was your first car will not avoid pick up job cool flathead, Vienna. Ok, indeed, you have like,
a mechanic mentor, or did you just learn by taken? Tell I have things apart? I member taking in alone more partners. Why not running this piece of paper between their heads? the cylinder. Let me get rid of that. I just thought there was paper there, some right short away. I put the edge of acting together. I set up a shooting step up an asylum or maybe thou my father, gotta gasket icy thought was like a piece of paper. Some get stuck in their ye. I actually, feel bad for kids grow up with money, because why would you learn to work on a car like I just had to do it out of absolute necessity might of eighty format things you tv, I broke every out what it was just different. I made my mother knew nothing about cars, but she knew what she took the airplane nor the valiant stuck to screwdriver down the round thing. It would start easier, so people were forced to just after work on car, no one knew: what did you graduating want? Sixty eight, I graduated sixty eight in so that hot our when you're a senior was six each avow was a big one.
When I was a kid it's probably movie, a bullet had come out of the most angle across the Mustang with three. Ninety eight was a hard car dodge charging and all I can say that movie polyglot more be worse seatbelts because you see where the bad guys go at me when they click that seat belt. The audio guy and turned to sound out, because the ghost has just made you cool click, a seat before that it wasn't collagen the sheep, ram five we bought out sixty six galaxy. My father said to the salesman because I was gonna be dry visa, that's new, carve seatbelts bout I, like we re skydrive. What are your bedroom has got to sleep? Well, granted that you're just humility aim. You were willing to give yourself as and when the car came, maybe shoulders that we were all the sea build up and move the seat forward. You can put the whole belt and the crevice in receiving awry keeps about away, but now you did you crash that Galaxy wrapped around the tree, where you shine off. Of course
I'm glad you're on on your show, J lentils garage. You took a ride in Monica This'Ll blow your mind, tat, theres, a very famous wielding machine. What Now that was the hemi under glass? The heavy undergo as the guy had put a hemi in the back of it was at a dark now. May the aid in the back of a sixty six Barracuda had the big last win again? Yes, and he originally did it to go, drag racing. Think we get more traction, not realizing would bring the front end up and it was fast but not fast than anything else. But the fact that these incredible we'll stands it'll, it would lively jump point way. Put sort of like shopping cart, wheels on the back someone up on the back, it would goal. It will go down the whole strip with the front end of the year and there was a bit like a glass floor that he would look through to drive so you knew what what's his name Bob wriggle by. a brig, so you must have like had admiration I'll ever when I was a kid.
o J has him on his show in Jake it's in the passenger Sea and the sky rips away. in the immediately to start role alone. We have everything it was intense. There was the highest raided automotive clip of twenty sixth of without question that then I hit my inbox it like seven, oh yeah. I was fond ass friends in Detroit yeah. Now, when I put myself in your shoes, here's exactly what goes through my mind. I don't give a fuck about rolling in this car. Who cares? I am alive. I can tell that land. My panic, my co dependency of like oh, no, the sky, love, Jesus, H, shit on tv, oh man, Were you panicked at all for his ego? That's what would a freaked me out about that as it was just that? Was I'm not a panicky person? I dont really, I mean Avenue we're going to roll like. I just put my info my hands and then we just kind of rolled. If I got the funny part, was the Marshall came over? He said the barber go, what's your name,
how will they anyone use all these aid, which your name said? My name is Bob around eighty one to use these two methods. The real bob wriggle, there's gonna be glad that you're gonna, let an eighty one year old, While I do a border, my Willie will use fantastic, just AIDS, but I would just be so nervous for Mr Wriggle Ivy like oh. No, he probably is well, let's put enlargement, you, yes, I would be super embarrass if I got jail in all my car and that our role well, I split whether my paper half the car. Oh you, data role, there are that's good. You don't go to bed then seem less use. Use pass. My gotta Pensee does really freaked me up. Ok, so I'm gonna underneath speed through some think scared. You get out of that Boston. Poor Emerson bright and you you start doing stand up in college or, I get it while ours and call while Europe Karla parents wanted me to finish- and I said I work at the time it in really get anything else. You know, boss of at that time was pretty serious severe.
more is going on. There are a lot of like hoot nanny nights ease the com they put. You know they put two candles in the cafeteria that be the to tow CAFE Armenia. Thousands of students will would be entertained by Google, no talent and that's pretty much what it was, but is mostly that serious kind of the light to be done. gonna gave a flashlight understand. They do not stop. You want machine man. Click internet then run after another corner doing over there. You know, and in so doing comedy was like what, when well commonly used to Syria, five Medea weren't alot of people don't come now you grant you a degree in speech bath out area right that, while they did that, because I remember going to college going what is or is not written, Whewell Speech LAW yet to give an oral talk, the interview how long you have talked for twenty minutes. I said Patsy another cousin. Twenty minutes can talk for twenty minutes. what's he got kids literally, haven't kidney options over this shot like like it's bullshit for twenty minutes, the easiest thing in the world so yeah side, but
nothing about what you're dip thongs, and that was the motivated. The really what's the easiest way to get through this terrible. I remember I went into school, I wouldn t miss I'd flunked out a Bentley School of Accounting finance, my parents, just role be I do not think about. I lasted formats June I went to Emerson and I wouldn't have said this guiding sky. He goes United grades, bad, it's too late to take everybody. Now he leave your grades. Good, do better than this itself. the summer school, and so can I go to some a school egos vassal late for that, too, would start next week, as are now much summer school. He said thirteen dollars, which is a lot of money I can receive back, and I said I got thirteen slim man, Urim and I said to have to go. The sounds: go said think o Thou grants excited. That was an important lesson.
How real life work, how real life you now you, Eliza Amendment we're on our way. after the way to the Boston Comedy here, Abbe Hoffman, speak. Member here having Hoffman and no one had ever said the word FARC in a microphone before, but he did his cause a huge thing for everyone to go here. The speech so me and my friend AMOS Tucker Guy with longer walk analyses three of us his cup with eight we, it's gone, gone DA mayor avi happened now you that which tintaggon nevertheless not happy in my friends in votes that, first of all, you can't stop as because I get this right here. It's a programme might stick in my area for Ngos. First of all, I know my rights. Ok as an American. You just can't stop soon hit them ass against it.
this guy just big powder by very many said, will you got me as I'm going back to their own devices? We just carried aim as these rules back welcome the re alive with a stick is talking to you really don't get an argument with this guy, but get just tell by my friends tone. First of all, I care. I know you can get me because of you now, now, you're daring, the guy he's, not the brightest. These accounts national scholar, or rather how real life work. So I want But this is interesting because my group comedians I was idolizing. You know you already have its nature by the time. I was really fantasizing right comedians, but I was listening to the stern and Letterman was on an in Howard, was asking him like a described the scene and allay in this late seventies. I guess when you
we're doing stand up like who is doing what He said well hand. down the best stand up. Com in Amerika was jailer. Theirs is there's no question and low. Its huge context for me to hear Letterman someone who I like idolize, let him it was a great wordsmith you now I was someone when we first met. I was a better performer than writer. I could buy being loud and sullen so concerned commanding the stage I can make something funnier than it was later been being a great wordsmith could under play it.
is performance is not very heated, dynamic, nervous and looking down, but the words he chose to speak. You know, let him it would never say a drink. You now say hours having an adult beverage and you know he always chose. I enjoy listening comedians talk way. Other people like those in the music, because I like the lyrical way they nor Mcdonald, one of my favorite just the way he phrase and think and picks just the right were you know so much a comedy is picking the right word, Bob Novartis, all my all time, favorites and Bob New high tat a bit it, and this is just the right word. He had a bit about the first astronaut in space that makes extraterrestrial communication. He comes back to earth. Is the press conference?
The rapporteur says to the azure. How much further ahead of us are? They and Bob says, but six weeks Europe met it's too late now get out of perfect. Now you know two years. You can't let one week what six weeks nobody can catch up to six, we just you can see it the third point we never catch and just just picking the right word and let him and was always great it just having why phraseology so you remember him oh yeah yeah. I think we must, I think we made each other better. I mean I think he watched me and thought. How can it be that self, confident and stadium? Can I watch him ago? I got a you know. I gotta pick better. I realize it using obscenities, never work for me because it just seemed lazy. It was his coming. Someone and ass all is not is funny, is key.
Number syphilis druid. I know I do it just a funnier Sherwin. I will go and live on always try to fine phrases that David, like ours type. the years ago, my time are going, the carnival need simply drew the throwing anthrax boars and children harm. What about you, people are laughing on the way to the joke. That's when you know you gotta, because jobs, a joke and its civilian could tell a joke if it's got a funny punchline to get a laugh, but a comedian can funny on the way to the pleasure and that's the real trick is getting him laughing before you get there right your weapon into a little lather before right. Exactly so, you went on to tonight show for the first time in seventy seven yeah marked. Secondly, your memories crazy. Like such a I needed to see a neurologist were you? Did you love Carson as a big fan of cars as a big fan of any comedian that was funny without props? I, like people, look normal,
but were funding right I mean he was only Larsson almost two hands ye. I would think to be as Yangtse Valley, John Viner, all the guys from that error. They could use words really effectively without having in oh, I like Mountain Milton Barajas Funny enough, but I'm just not a fly or in the palace court water to people kind of guy sure I mean just someone who could ask olive on all these kind of guys. You could just throw little phrases and things out and be funny yeah, but when you are talking about words, selection, of course, I thought of Seinfeld ass being like five until another great words. Yes, I just work will probably do twenty different sets where he tries out forty different words. You know its economy of words. It's getting there in the shortest possible time because along budgets, the jug takes by the
I knew you had better be as and when people who were not when you hear comedians talk, they get right to the meat if it is not so that I go so like she says liked me, you know I'm talkin about. I always tell one or a guys are right or not I may cause I'll say things like so I exclaimed known for. Nobody exclaiming, that's only writer exclaimed. Nobody expects claims in real life right in
you started doing you dumb, do stand upon his show pretty often Carson. You know it's funny. I never really clicked. I never really got the tonight show and then one day they can save. I got it and growing up in New England. I had a hard time calling him Johnny. It was always Mr Carson or share a Yo Yo John. It seemed to me it was still. I got two letterman that I could really be myself. You know because show business is the opposite of real life. In that a member I would go for additions. He read the Sparky an arena, go with thank your body very nice to meet you all. Thank you so much for home me. I really appreciate it. I will call you ok! Thank you. I never got anything and then one day I got the script I want is the worst slackened thing ever ready and I well as it before it gets out who wrote this piece of shit zau, their love and rather than about it. I thought I read a terribly I get home. I love you come up, I was moved back just then I realized it really. It's the
a real life? Whatever worked for you in the real world? Doesn't work and showbiz sure I was also a little bit like dating right. You got it, you gotta give them some sense that you are completely unaware of the world's biggest donor interested right, yes, stating their lip recruit Zebra Gruner. We are supported by zip record, our zebra Gruner, you know it's not smart. Monica that sought, though good lad ginning. I love that's. I love that song catch long gone gone, no, its, not smart job boards, that's a new candidates that are not qualified for the role that you posted it. So stressful, trying to find a great employ unzip recruiter has hacked first system. You know it is smart, going to zip recruiter, dotcom slashed Dax to hire the right person, unlike other jobs,
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already six actually success. I certainly believe you more than we have even less so in eighty six. Did you have that experience that comics talk about so frequently about being on that the tonight show as they stand up and then the next day being like people know you did you that now little across it was different. Then there wasn't a lotta shows. I will write that users, three options. Yeah, you know they ve, a long Cassidy Movie on Channel twelve, maybe Nightline and their job. So that was all of them. Most people watch John, you say:
could be like changing you, you're gonna, be on an episode of someone, should late night show now and have a change your life or pick somehow really got sitcoms and stuff. I M ready friends of the classic example Friday and I were roommates Roma and yeah. He he did the two somebody tat same day earlier day. He done Merv Griffin did ok. I was all right I mean, and forty friends like you, ready, leave funny man this book just another comic, but it went on Johnny I think Sammy Davis is on the couch Sammy scream at the lab and you're on the a thing in it all came together and even get us a common state cheek on the man. Will that's a weird thing about per se she's right is like. If we see this person we hold in this crazy esteem, say John
if we see that someone has Johnny's now, I'm sorry, Mr Carson derive Mr Carson's number and am in Carson's laughing uncontrollably. We kind of we do the imprint. We go like out this guy's better than everyone else. Gaza hard, the sky we love is laugh. I believe you will make Letterman laugh really hard or make you laugh really hard. You got all this person's kind of a step. Above, look to me. That was as it she key to try and make gave laugh when I went on the show like I would do things or I knew what it I d like I would wait for him to come down the hall the Gonna make up and I would have like enormous meatball SAM, How can we get away while the cabinets argue? We all know people, I D, which you can anybody, because he was also nervous wreck before so I got the vital. I just bring a sandwich out with me and I gave look
our Lufthansa meatball all over Europe out. It was a lot of fun. It was might is my favorite time. A job is decisive. Were what years other mid eighties do enlightenment, like aha, because I can really be free with Johnny. I couldn't go agent nice ties with the weather that Ray you wasn't here was needed, and was yes let em was appear with the same aim that points of refuge. here's a dream. You know the history the whole bit and ours. Don't you find that there is certainly a certain people that I, for whatever reason I just really want to make that person laugh, and it makes me up my game and I love being around like that, how you see the light you that whatever five m to talk on the phone. Inevitably we'll come away with something some new we are talking about. I'm not gonna, say it was a comic who was very esoteric. You know not so much jokes and I I said there funny here, but you know you put them in the sand and gravel convention in Vegas and I'm gonna. Be
and inside Volvo guns demographic companies in the same geographical budget and is one of those I wish, I said the real answer that that's what makes me laugh. You know you know like Jerry did about the other I did. I said I wish I had. That is about telephones. You know like the old days, the phone more backward, It's a foundering I'll get it. I got it I get now. It five or three point no lives there, so that you know. Why did I see that I was right in front of me and what he said that to me I fell off the chair. Just made me laugh so trying jobs out of each other's is great. yeah and you don't drink, as you said now, ready more religious person. I just don't have any interest, it doesn't interest me. Have you ever know never once what I'd? Maybe maybe I tasted I just don't drink it doesn't interest yeah. You say that, like that's, just stand united, so interesting model
wait you might, where they either one extreme weather, yeah yeah. I don't find anybody moderate. I find you little abuses high. All the time you never knew is drunk. I saw him sober kind of stuff be or completely abstain. Riah very rarely do as they like rod, Adena, how Rodney existed as long as you did. You know, Rodney drank it. Every craventy s thing. Oh yeah, I've heard stories from below. Worked with him about just the cocaine consumption. I just it's amazing you gotta two thousand one. I had robbed me of the financial and I love rapidly, and I know his manners, and I know you know we all go said. I tell you touched his hand- was in the wrong spot and I see no watching that I called Debbie. I said Tammy call paramedics having rallies, have a stroke. She's like I said his hand, women's away
yeah it's just I mean the ADI sincerely was over here. It was always the universe. Tat moves eyesight, just just call paramedics, Hammy surrounded company, sits down he. Finally they're going to jail, primarily with private data, yonder stubborn, eight hundred m, for he had a stroke no stop and they took in the last one. Oh, my goodness, you witnessed it. What was interesting and then a couple years later running at another backdrop and missus o a day or two before he died, and I'm in the hospital and Joan his wife is great. I mean she's, the most loyal woman and she sitting there and she says J Raw. I think rightly, can hear us, but he can't speak a reactor. She says J put your finger, not in his hand. He goes. She goes Rodney,
You ve, no cheese here, squeezes fingers missing. I go Rodney, that's not my finger right, having switches and John Laughter my lad, and I could say that he thought it was fun. I may Roddy laugh when he's a coma, Have you now say that about me? I guess I was glad I could make him laugh with guess. Alarms yeah does he was ours was killed me. You know I never political leverage. It would just so different from today, Now we live in an era of people are like your politics than like music. Like you Commodore now, you have to say what you are. Are what you believe where you stand on every issue. I mean there are plenty of people. I don't want to know I just I just want to enjoy their performance, I don't need to know how you feel about this that the next thing yeah yeah. We talk actually a lot about that. I'm here
I had a show greater on who is made. This point that I thought was really need is that people always had opinions, but these days there are to get their opinion across the other story, their power of story, not not a hundred forty kids, I mean you could figure out. We have somebody stands just by the things they talk about the way they treat other people, wherever they say you know now you have I met. We have who we shall remain nameless, Marietta comedian, The show is helping line. As you know, I am a liberal democrat. Anyone could go into the joking. I had several jobs, just do the jokes and then people believe many people will know where you stand right. Rallied he's an. I wanted to say anything that way it was ok, but you see I have the honour while there immediately alienated brighter, not also illiberal damage arising, yellow errors. I know you're a comedian. First, ok! Joke comes first point of view.
Whenever you want to get you're, not gonna. Let us all rally if they I'm your political reality. I should definitely time exactly areas any actually did you have favorite guess over the years. Who were a few, your favorite guess: yeah I like politics, that was always find. The first time had Barack Obama. He came to himself. He had his jacket, His shoulder, you know I James, may represent a bummer present you any video and he goes when aims eyebrow President Obama Brezhnev's about gay was together there, a black guy. Nobody ever heard of whose name was saying you're gonna be termed rather yeah, you're gonna go far, but really funny. I mean he was really laughing Yes, one of the most incredible sensitive now he's got a guy. He gave me a cell phone, How do you know and then one day with some friends, I really begin elected president and we're talking I so I gave my cell phone. You still got to figure out where your work same us, the devil is brought.
Now, as if our President Zelaya up now now you gave me a guy fields. Still very gave me this. Ok guys. Rather I value your problem. baby you're, beginning to breathe. I love them. He was a great great guy. I really did area and then when he would do. Though other White House correspondence dinner. It was very well. It is better than any comic good timing, replayed it's the confidence thing He dismounted and was funny. Do I didn't Reagan was the first time I did it all real. That was the only time I got nervous because I'm back stage in this general comes back and he's got all these metal guy. You do that. For me, you may agitated, goes secular, that's my commander in chief. You understand suppressant, do not issue. Tat was my boss and leave the room when its poker me. Don't you don't make fun of emu would definitely can we welcome some.
Oh, yes, Rocco, I'm thinkin, tease I've always juncture. George shots momentum, secretaries. They know what judge has come back. You got a drink. A lot alchemy now we're on a vast of a wall out there. Now that a general told me escrow Amy, I works for me up there with them, but even that black cravat running very vague. It's really lack a day. Seventy Abraham, wherever I go out their nails Sophia. So it was the opening joke that night, I think, was them. I want to congratulate land Nancy, together with the humanitarian leave. Your word now flood, I'm glad she beat out that conniving little Bitch mother Teresa Honest, got em. The regular Reagan lad. I felt that I knew I was good to hear that of the stressful stand up jobs, Eve taken its bad and what else is there anything else that wasn't that stress that no I'd done some off
I wouldn't for rare earth once remember them now, member they will get ready, get ready, Bali, again yell that yeah. So anyway, I walk out on stage at the crowd of the sea rarer. Can I see the microbes understand and I see the cord goes off the stage down into the crowd. Neglect doesn't look good The next thing I know the MIKE as ripped out of my hand, I am actually run as some are not now I jumped down. Other states are mainly awnings. Looked over the MIKE I'm parliament more trying to fight where it went and people are just the envelope semi Generic goes blank now have the cord with no MIKE on it, and now I'm in the audience, and I got I get charged. Seventy five bucks for losing the MIKE now another thing than I picked up a bunch from star
episodes. This has happened. I don't know ten times where people's war but they'll be on talking about some crisis they had in their public life in a new era. occasions. People said our goal. Who did anyone call you in I've, I think about ten times of her people go yeah J, Leno called me: he picked up the phone and called there there's there's like a ton of people that you that for Yarborough with MAR Mar member MAR Bill MAR when he said that they were not arouse the earnest here or leather brave vacation, yeah right yeah look. I know bill marble like bill or not. I like he's a true american. I mean, I think it's a patriot, he's exactly what the countries about he has a different point of view. Them and you know something you get. No bullshit he'll tell you exactly what he thinks like people go. Well, I don't know celebrated they. They won't say, but he in our
I know I get a lot of credit of ours admire them and just because he had a different point of view, and I call him up invited him on the show in India we took a little but he, but I think we also that people who lighteth of acted for that Sort- America's about you, say your pc MIA and that that would happen over seventeen years. The first run, I guess, and then another three or four said twenty years yet, but I lay for what you are on your on for twenty new year twenty two years and in those twenty two years, people often would come on to kind of make their apology right. Then up that happen kind of frequently do yeah people this. Grew up and you invite him you grant. Maybe he all right, but that was the classic or bad boy. It was one of those wink, wig old, handsome leading man from England picks up street hooker. and it was class warfare sharing it was it was rich versus poor. He was there the tabling already woman. It was now kiss me cave where it
lady. In the tram I mean every avenue and you know. I gave him a lot of credit. Didn't come with a press agent by himself. He said: ask me whatever you want. I screwed up, and he was very honest about it. Any was very funny, but knowing you and knowing that you have kind of unkind sensibility, what I was curious were those up so hard for you did you hate to have to go like alright, let's get into this person's dirty laundry, I was. I was thought to be dressing room beforehand. A lot of shows don't like to. I don't I don't want to shock the gas and I almost hit him look. I have to ask you this. You can ignore the question you can answer the question, but I've got to ask you this question. Okay or otherwise is why we here that's pretty much what we did. I mean end in general. Their responses like I get it yeah most people do yeah sure some people get mad or their anyone's realize. I don't wanna be able to get mad at me because I said to amuse just out of it.
the ensuing madame and I suddenly Tommy, Harrowby common person that began. What was that all about tat would be back and stop it now, the last thing- and we will let you get back in your team- gee that you arrived in the aggregate him no seatbelts. I dislike he J arrived energy, but no doors and see that something more to that's. An already beat shed cheap, Really actually was there where many do you have a cause? I solemnly five hundred. Maybe six cars were about sixty three models Are you so jealous? I mean when I'm there, what? What are you and compare it to you now, just yet Aubrey. Well, then hookers and go look at Charlie in view. A year later, the garriga legs I'll tell you what I've selfishly thought when I was that is your age is J. Has no errors, I mean. Don't I get
one of these cars. I mean don't done where these are going to get. You does earmark what lash rise MAR there. My problem exists in our lab robbed. You do obsess at all at night about like now, you don't know. doing Jerry always talk and met you I mean collection, is so impressive that one could even pick it would take me all data really have like three hour, but I don't want that three cedar Mclaren you how we let's get that things ridiculous. Now I dont obsess about things you don't look you're going to dine, you don't give a shit. What happens all those girls and I think, people hours- think they live forever? It's the funniest thing. You know I was in Vegas whether hotels, Ngos, the helpless they helped anymore, and I see a guy carried a big Elvis couple. Guys can big Elvis thing: I guess they guys I'm puttin up and Elvis displaying has now taken down. I gotta come nobody knows is any more you know and most of the people there were seventy or eighty. I cannot think it I'll get them
How else is a hundred ruggedo? I stand saying something I would joy it while you can you good time horizon, iraqi Pennsylvania. Don't show an I come out these. You look ahead, good you can like tonight. You shall. I see this girl about seventy now I would keep em became even to jail. I know now- you are what you guys. Are we supposed to nature? What's that try Josie chosen late night. I now saw anyway. That's I mean there's a hold, you get a whole generation and that's fine and you had. Why doesn't just perfect know who I am. You can't be upset cedars, Jane everything, just the nature of everything you you have a certain time and you enjoy
turn yourself in that time, and you get what you get and that's that so I said the thing about the phone calls for very specific reason. I think you have a side, that's pretty well, hidden that it does come out all icons, and you find out that you're. That kind of guy that does that you're also over the years, have had upward. the admirable since a humor about yourself? That's would be so hard for me. That's easy for you or yes, I, like the only. I know it's the only way I can. I make my living making fun of other people, so how can you not be? It can't well
more lotta people are renewed. Yes, it's an obvious point, but at the same time it is hard for people. I find it hard to laugh at me. Well, meaning I get to work at it. My mother's favoured foe was Robert Burns in order to see itself as other see you and that since its, why don't fool around I said to myself: ok, this girl wooden screw me when I was twenty five. So why would she do
when I'm sixty eight logical rag. May I appreciate what I have been made? Thirty, eight years gray, we have a great time. You have a lot of fun, but, yes and again, I think it's a very I'm very grateful for every single thing that has happened in other real trick to do in this, like with hecklers finally big fat guy heckling. May I make fun of his tie to jobs. Then he realized I'm not gone for the obvious near he realizes I'm trying to be kind to him. You know I'll tell you what it said. I had of road rage one day traffic, it's one of those days, a guy behind me baby baby. They all came surpluses, Karami, Garonne, elegant economic, anything, early, political was all about it. Fuck you gonna get your fifty two years
your ball. You fat, you divorced, you kids hate you, but we should best day in high school without the greatest day, your life. What kind of job you do have a ok, then he starts crying. Oh, I got left I'm so that all of us, following the lovers- and I get me aside- goes right. Everything you said is true and I realized I nailed this guy everything I say I said: look at, you really have kids they got here, but they do a big as you like you, I'm bringing the like, tell us whether here you when it to trade Georgie's annex with altogether, so I like either Kay when I got to be friends of them. In his kids, metallic Taylor, Swift and Anna was up. There was ok, attic wrecks the story of what you want. We're just one of those things, but I really just look at the sky, but my them yeah. That's an incredible come to that area, so areas so you're. The one thing I have to ask you and I don't want to get in the pretty I'm gonna go, I'm not now, and I want to get in theirs versions,
Does the unnecessary interests endeavour the versions what it? What is interesting to me as you? I I from what I know about you seem very adverse to controversy. The last thing you want is contrary example, yet you came into that job of controversy, you left the job sharers. He isn't it surreal. Do you like I have no interest in like you re ass lightning, when I am, is lads yeah, but when you play football, who do you tackle the quarter backing the guy with the ball oligarchy ass, a better answer than that's really what it is, could suddenly peal of my friend suddenly I was this area died really funny comical now I suck because I'm on tv calibrate jobs, every single light you right in the twelve minutes, monologue every single night here and now: you're, not cutting edge guy anymore and you're richer anew
our successful so you're not going again, so you took a lot of heat were there, but I wouldn't change anything, but they didn't hurt your feelings. You showed it. Ok, that's what I want, but you learn from your mistakes. You know, I mean S story I've told before and is why, when I work whenever I see these women, they get sexually assaulted and people who are? Why didn't they come forward? What could you know when I was nineteen? I went into a club in Boston, Osama comedian, and this guy says you in the union now we got the union. Can I wish you and the union as we well know there was the others aggravates he lives union. I said I will go see. My friend go see this guy, giving psycho this union office in Iraq and the command, and I said I wish you much
Will you go either mcmillion? How are you gonna give you about a year year so enjoy within six months? You? I could find you right now again such yellow she's Sicel licence is now I d just how work a club because it has said our rights. So how much is it joined? The union is a three bucks. I said one of three bucks, namely said how much you got an eye when I get seventy five took my seventy five and gave me a business car run on the back union man. He says it show this anybody so go back to the club and I gotta have a gag democratic as what you gonna go gossip last surviving jarley. Would you take your work as a semi viable?
the body is like that. How can we get out of here and I really love it- felt like cocoa and fame over the last see where beverages she's say she's in a movie, it is affordable ever realise, and I realized that's what women must feel like when they get ray. I mean not. This is obvious not as bad as earlier, but I mean it made me. Empathetic to these people are so. Why didn't they? Could you wanna be in show business so bad I knew I was being taken. It was, as they took the money out of my pocket arose is. Why am I to do right now? Is my senses were telling me he has a chance in the guy, took my money and rode on this thing and then laughed in my face. I one man I just get taken and I new and news So if anyone agony Mattel that story for years, aha, because until I got successful year because it was sullen baron yeah. So whenever I would see these cause be accusers or even this woman,
the cataloguing ago. Yes, I believe them right. That's exact! I had a far less that's tragic again, it's an I kept back. Quite if that had happened to me I might not be so understanding so did me. People say well below If you change, I wouldn't change every mistaken. aid I learned from, and I want you ok that made me a more empathetic person. Hopefully your voice thought during that You're gonna get very high school early and then there was like sides you had to pick in. It just seems crazy to me, and I was like my personal experience with you- is like the really nice guy comes back stage before you go out. He just in nice person. I know he can
most people in their down, like you, know, ass in a very high school thing to have to pick aside and all this. Well, that's what shall I mean? That's what it becomes an that's guy, get something it's not a hotel! Alan! I with your item- and I were talking about this when you shoulda cancelled, and I said the first really show business, you don't fall in love with a hooker, ok because you're not gonna, get love back and that's what tv is me. They will use your whenever there, but these about your friends are the people money off with you know your limbers when they they get. No, some! That's fine! You that's why I always worked on the road is a community, because when you do that monologue and that tonight show you walk out even over jokes, not funny, somebody gets a laugh button go. I will have good, I maybe to go Robin at the height of market Monday when it was just crazy. You know he came in Cancun in prices, I'm doing some new stuff, and I tell me with any good
It would only then rob with their bouncing off the wall. People are sprayed me, you know, and he said with that stuff you gonna go now with the material is an omen you performed well, because I didn't It was and is, does the other day I'm here I love Robin. I worked, we I mean the lovely got, but often I would be younger and I'd be watchmen. Talk show then we go when I only with and then I will go out replay what the words Edward set ragged or none of those end joke they don't I'll get. It always. Is in character and the characters are funny and I then it was finally have to get to you. He was ass innocent, not that well now brilliantly, not brilliant, the most brilliant at a proper former ever apples, but I mean was he could make something that wasn't funny and he was asking me- was the material, per se. Well upon me, I got no the mature wasn't, but you made it funny. You're
It's the same thing. You accuse yourself of when we started, which is Letterman, was may be. Writing more interesting. Butter stuffing were performing it better. I like that you're, not accusing him anything. You say you are guilty of right. Ok before I'm gonna, let you go now, but I'm gonna tell people something. I had an experience with you before. I was ever on your shell in I know what the real O J Leno is this: isn't that men's room thing as it were I was going to leave the men's room one out because there is still some time that our entry into your attitude a little one, one of my first trip to LOS Angeles. The three bodies we all worked for General motors were at a traffic light. In fact, in Beverly Hills. California were at tower in sunset by the various hotel we look over we're all car nerds in
We see a site clung with Corvette, we'll sorry, I thought they were like that's interesting. Somebody put corvette wheels on a cyclone, that's kind of a good like we're we're on the car for so long before we ever get to who's driving a car. We events, someone goes These that's jailer attracting and we see its vehicle nineteen or something, maybe eighteen when we start Gimme, a universal sign rolled down your window, which might make sense to MIKE by MR cranking right new. Looking you got gonna throw your hands up earlier than you rolled on the one million hours, gotta. Well, hey you put corvette wheels on this site loan in you, like yea. I had him on this thing and you tell me we were for GM. We we're on the launch of the Euro, has been a great vortex turbo four point: three later be section lighter, his green? You don't go you fuck and sat there and talk to us for their lives. the try a worse. oh gracious in level and then the light turn green a second time, and then you have them, and we are alike
what am I a guy? You just told me. I got that truck now. Tell my wife and I went to bed we can take that complement the new model. The right way about Laelia get a Christmas tree. You now the most overpriced trees, but it's a free deliver hundreds a doll. the agri industry, about about it said: free delivery in Beverly Hills. Ok, some actually lie. Lights is one hundred and one hundred and fifty five- and I said he is worried about whether live. I learned a lot that is outside the rejects the twentyth. What now it's free, though not and there was a shabby deal- accept wait here. No across the stream I bought the trunk and came back and you put a truck is the tree in the treaty and drove and home twenty thousand dollars. We ride my right, this yeah, that's what is meant as a year. They are the only other celebrity I'm now friends with that I met when I was a kid Minos too.
The incident. He also delivered big time, legit Rosaria sweetest guy. Ever he sat right where you sat and tell him this will J. Thank you. one thing that may I add that regime. So I got a bit of a cold and now it's a pleasure and I look forward to being in your shop again. That's though it now, I think, Jake thanks, and now my favorite part of the show the fact check, with my soul, mate Monica bad men- wanna check them back in every day. One objective facts in every day. I gotta see that was kiss. I like that. I knew that when Bulgaria, Lithuania, stuff, hang out rare, you know The stuff- I don't know
as to the sergeant MAR lady. Thank you, but I don't know how to songs almost called you smart young lady, but guess what you're not really a young lady anymore. Ah, how dare you say that we are not an old lady young lady you're right smack in the prime of your earning years in your powers. I guess I shall not spring chicken anymore You're, not a little fawn fumbling around the spring grass trying to find your legs you're a thriving, powerful woman, I'll, never get those years back You don't need him back. They led your Ituri needed to be true, and they were great. I'm no regrets- dinner's on Couto toast Jason, let out the big deal big deal for us, flattered? He said yes every now and then I was off like an email to someone I just know enough to eat. like this. This is not really cool. I'm sure they're busy.
immediately. His lifelong assistant, just meanly, call me we'd love to, and you know what else he called me the phone himself to say like hey my goods J, I'm I'm leaving my house now I'll, be there like what yeah and then he arrived. I don't know, we talked about it, but he was here. He arrived in a jeep and a World WAR Ii Jeep. What war lords one? I'm calling you is that I'm kind of friends with them a bender shop. A couple times have done a show Reno his car show and stuff. I dont This email or is phone number, but you, what happened is. I was emailing with his assistant to get the scheduled and get this on the books, and so Oh, she had my phone number, so he must have said like hey or Maybe she sent him that email, but he took it upon himself to call me and nobody does, that
so far, less famous than him do not do that. Their assistance would be calling merger he's driving around town and a second world war to G column. But that's all I'm saying you have is number now was private, smart, yeah, well danger, many are still making those calls, and I really appreciate that that little touches the bedside manner. I fear we're losing that is generations progress. I think you're, probably right, I don't even call people from my. I don't call people anymore. I have my neighbour do it I write the guy who's ice. Killin, darts, yeah mail is set out in the alley and watches me change what a lucky guy you say. He says he'll take on some on my phone calls. His apartment should rent for fifty thousand among fitted out everyday advertise it as a direct view into Monica bedroom. I have to imagine some creep out. There would pay fifteen Grand a month. He seems stuff, oh boy,
you know who else I get up date. I did not get fired off my commercial now we may suddenly the empty updating. I didn't get fired when great, but during the fitting this it has to do with working. Very close with christian name She doesn't have time for discretion, so she's change and all over the place, and I'm more modest than that to no Christian is to have seen or nature there I mean literally, I think, everyone is ever worked with their senior naked, probably yeah. I'm confident so I have inherited that from my mom and we I wouldn't have inherited. Why shyness or I inherited only your mom Kristen mom yeah you're real model is no you're. Real bomb is like flash inner. No right now. I inherited from my Austin mom, here your baby air and I was in the fitting and ass. I thought basic, I'm not waiting for the bad
Madam, I do not have time, and so I went. I just can't us did not even in corner. I just car like stood and was chow. Jane and there boys around there's their open a window and as like, I should care and I don't know boys around now, nor the straight boys. Now they were not in regulations boys. I felt a little code, because I was like they're gonna- be uncomfortable cause, they're, gonna know, yeah, Hemingway's, they're gonna know that they're not really allowed to look, but they might want to. But I don't really know what to do. They found a way there was some reflective surface, hopefully that they got a little bounced back here. yeah, and you should, however, raw and underwear, but it was a thorn. Oh boy, wow, and again we ve covered it, but just you know fat Natural's, galore! Didn't you never need to feel bad about those being now around a guy that the power structure is what it is so your internet and in no guys gonna be afraid to stick offers right. So
never be concerned what you definitely given. Those boys was the best birthday breast nineteen Keller wearing white there made some of them might have been married. You been better for them, they didn't even search it out, they just fathers and they looked down. There's a silver platter and their lab in a delicious primary sandwich. Good for everyone. Could you should feel generously What about that? Thank you. I do as long as you felt say. If I did, I didn't care at all great. I had this himself reflecting after that. I may should maybe care, but I didn't You are able to make yourself care about something that that's horse, who we hear so yesterday, do we purchase some medicine? Oh, ah ha at their head suit of that in it so do happen over there. The good kinder- and I knew said you liked it- has made you alert YAP, got scared me that you said that
why, because because at any time you a tribute to a feeling- ok to a drug. I don't think it's good I can see where that's a red flag for you, but I don't really see the distinction between that and a cup of coffee. A cup of coffee also makes me alert. You make. A teen also makes me alert when I'm sick. I feel I'll get my brain feels slow and when I take suit affairs, sit up a different. I am, I feel, back to base level yeah. Oh, I took it the great Esther Energy early bomb that I hadn't been too. I didn't take it during my commercial. I was like kind of mad at you for not introducing at me earlier? But look I hesitate. You are you're just The Christian also like out take that white like criminal, be sick for asylum law. I'm not worried about me, ok, because I don't do that, like I didn't feel like lime,
doping sickness wise better, but I didn't feel like. Oh it's doing something for me that I am not getting otherwise maybe maybe totally misunderstood what use or saying. Also there's a great like one time I was drinking a non alcoholic beer at night club and I ran into someone. I know from sobriety you drink near beer, I don't gear in he goes now. They say when your near beer year near beer and I go but you see you now, here's how I know this isn't real beer, because when I drink for these I dont go by cocaine. Rightly so that's all we know it's not real, be acting as tell you in Similarly, I don't take aids to defend near. I take a suitor fed as prescribed, and then I don't abuse it anyway. If it were a little more powerful and brought the beast online, I would need a whole box of a right. That's all. I know it's in the zone.
there's no way I could ever do a line of cocaine ran in the box of cocaine just in the cab you know I'm saying yeah, that's like a very easy distinction for me to make like do I crave for the thing right after so doesn't make me feel black color or optimistic. That I would. I prize has understood that I don't want you to be so A meet all I heard is that you are concerned about mean. I love me less, that's exactly what it was. I am grateful for that I am. I have to explain myself people. I lost the right not to That's ok! I don't want you to feel like that. Thank you. You have to explain yourself to me. I just to alleviate fears that are very great. did in my past behaviour, so I'll Oliver that you now forever near
sure it's annoying. When I do fantasize about drinking in my retirement, which I was telling you like soon as my penis doesn't work and I don't drive a car anymore and I only drive a golf cart, I think why not drink? What are the consequences. when I'm having that fantasy? I have to include the fact that everyone can be so uncomfortable around me, while I'm just enjoying the twilight of my ears at eighty fire and then have to have a whole new batch of friends so that I can add or they're gonna have to get rid of us. What otherwise I'll be having like I'll be enjoying my Miller highlights striving my golf cart. Penises totally flask did not function ever again in my life. band are we concerned yeah I don't want to be around me. Even if it's fun are we supporting our enabling him some private pick up a couple new friends. I want to be so hanging out with you, then there will be a blush, though cruiser, oh, my God while subpoenas and see what,
a non troubling into shuffle board fight anyone obesity, bread on obesity hunched over, because you know so tall Europeans shrink we see others believe, like lobby really ideal for shuffle board when we ve been over as trail and you can even tiny I can't wait for what. If I really turn into a mouse for Ria Level, Jesus crackers Miller highlight you know it, though I think when I'm that age and probably not gonna, be drinking anymore. It's weird and interesting though we have, I have had scarcely others induce. You even think sword been good anxious, sell me cocaine when I'm ninety- you don't you like. You know. I know what I'm saying is its probably not even a risk of me. Do he cocaine once I'm drunk because who,
good so a nineteen year old man could there be like selling selling a baby coke. I now involves a drug dealer. In some nine year, old Sea came up to me with a flash of Venus and a golf cart ability of ice on this bag of we, Coke he's gonna have Arnold I'd, like literally in an hour I'll, be there, but they knowingly be killing absolutely so. I also think that, in my favour that I wouldn't building git cocaine, if I want nothing most drug dealers are really ethical. So I think that you are in good shape, ass. You ok, so sure J. What Pritchett. This preamble to his back desk as he's very sober, sought, never drank yeah, crazy, queasy, That's the one group of people who have the hardest relating to, or not that's not true, because my best friend here, Andrew Polonaise, never drank up They stand. I cannot fathom again fathom being on planet earth and walking around and all the other adults in there all doing this thing they seemed to enjoy and just Goin never the driver
this is so outside of my nature. Now it's not outside of mine. I give you juggling chain saws and you were laughing and having a great time doing it. My next thought would be. I got try that if I observe someone having a good time and enjoying something, I want to do what they're doing urine May I like your, have I like doing I like drinking, but I like it later, it's not because you like doing drinking I, like my thing, don't say I'm a heavy drear very evident came. I did it to us. Wine last night by review, really had, but those concerned about you drinking. I wouldn't joke of Ireland I never hard to, but I got a little nervous. I mean this is the thing the things that you say to me I hear ok now in a bad in a very good
but I was noticing nine. We noticed it. Why noted it twice yesterday because I had better be- and I was talking about something that you said to me in bed in Venice, facts it later, not bad and not wrong news that I have a lot of fierce. And then you would also independently over New year's recognise. All my whole family has yes. So when I was home- and I was noticing that two things one there is a part of that was like I'm doing a fucking great considering right, yeah like if you bleed soon into work. How much com option was happening.
I'm totally surpass that right, but I haven't there are traces anyway and but then I felt a little bit like cause. I was getting really annoyed with my family because of that, because I noticed it and those. Doing my thing with them, but then and when I went back to my guilt and always circles, backed and Gill, of course, but others like if, if I had been aware of that which I was aware of it, because our conversation I was like I'm being mean to them because of a conversation, it gave a lot of power to buy, would have found a way to be mean to them regardless, so it have been something it definitely would have been something. I know that for sure, but I was like, I'm never notices in my life prior aha about them. Urea end
and now that I was made aware care of it recently and feeling like. I really don't like that about myself, seeing them and then blaming them and then be mean to them hoes like I'm behaving in a way. I don't like because of this other thing: it is interesting. We are going to be clear on my thing about fear, though here is meant, is over general thought on fear. Is we typically worry about in obsess over things that a alien control over, be aren't the things we end up suffering from it's almost, never that you know someone who's terrified of getting rate their whole life there. Now, we what breast cancer and that's what they get. You know it's just really are just think. If you look at
twice percentage wise? The things we worry about aren't the things we end up suffering from. So it's just truly is a waste of time and is also an incredible waste. The time that concern yourself, the things you have no power over like I have said before on here, but that's why I'm not nervous on an airplane. I have no illusion of any sway over the outcome on this. I am in a powerless, I'm along for their fuckin right totally. Any second I've been thinking about it is is the ways the tiger. It's not like I'm same fear and generals. Batteries was in your intuition or anything. I just think it's like someone to check in with yourself on. As I tried to you know, I fully agree with everything you said and I want to be bad. but I think we you may be aren't considering is you
in not grow up in a fear based house, not at all. Your mom is no asteroids like that letter and my dad's, even beyond her more extreme. so it's probably easier free, ill bigtime shed that an even like chemically, probably the I've been probably given more of that than you sure so anyway, I'm just saying like I did and I I dont but doesn't really matter. I still think it something to work towards regardless of what you ve been given, but it just was out very aware that I have made progress on that considering girl anyway, oh no, I said that in the first place, because there is something else or drinking: oh! Yes! Yes, so you you you
idea can t yeah, but in my opinion you I think I have said this to you. You have the perfect relationship without in my mind like if I was shopping for a version. I would want yours and I don't we I want to be someone who has a glass of wine. I would like to get tipsy yet to me the fun Paria in continue doing. It took four in the morning by myself at home, right to me, you're right in the sweet spot of what I would want to be as a drink. That's true! goodbye, It just made me think about it. Do I do I, they do I like it more than most people and the original conversation. You said. I think you like him more than most people and that made me think like do. I bet I sort of chemicals that I doubt Plaza bonanza back around what I had said oh. I was thinking about drinking the other day and then I
Was you know as your trained to do? I'm thinking the whole thing through in one eye realises that if I drink, even if I did it success, fully in terms of I didn't black out, I had for drinks and I even if I had Do that version of it? I'd want to do that version of it every single. Might they just want to be a nightmare? I wouldn't be in the mood to feel a little more yeah dry. Whatever I am, he's been honest with myself that, like when I like to do something and I'm doing it in a manner, they dont think has consequences the wreckage. That thing the at all times I now I know I don't not just occasionally in the mood to do things like I'm gonna, doom, everyday, all day yeah I don't really like earnings. Are christian, forgets she likes time like. Oh, I love Israel,
am I oh. If I love restaurant, I think about it once a day like boy I gotta go there. When are we going next? I now have the same disposition yeah but anyway so yesterday had I I only had had another Catalan, a string she'd all day, but I wasn't hungry, was weird and then and then I got home and as I guess but you do not. Currently hungry may well have a glass of water but then I really was like what, so I'm gonna have wine for dinner. why is happy, do- I really want it and then I was stand. It was kind of, I was standing in front of it and are rarely bearing out, and I was like do you want this? man. I drank it yeah here and I, like you, don't have time to think about this. I've stopped to do. I'm just gonna poured in drink it yeah and I'd to yeah. That's about that.
It's me back big time because I always was like I'm gonna cook dinner for brain and I'd start pollination Now, the friends, the ingredients. And see the beers, and there s also fund a cooking drain and do dishes embodying and do laundry and rank? Yes, my favorite part of cooking drinking while cooking is you're. Gonna have a couple Here's why you make spaghetti and then a certain point, you're enjoying being drunk so much you don't want to eat anymore, like I so often for me, I'll be like well. This was scheduled to be done at seven p, DOT M, but I know I want to drink at least till nine. I don't want to ruin this. This joyous buzz with a big belly full of pasta, generally is kick dinner down the road, a couple hours, cheese, those amselle lights here. Honey have ok, so he mentions man on the moon
where he says like. Oh, I couldn't see the man on the moon, and then I saw what all of us were like. I don't know what you're talking about. He said there is if it was as is ubiquitous as the moon itself. Exactly get to know the moon is to know the man on the moon, yeah and if so, then, out of some pictures- and it's just the way like it's called the man on the moon- is mandatory, areas. Lunar Maria Lunar Maria in there just like flat spots on the moon. There also called see use because for a long time, astronomers believed there were large bodies of water. Just like it's just there really craters right by the breast, that's pounded into the moon over time. I think anyway, but I saw the pictures of the sick. I see what they mean, but I never noticed in life. They look like MAC tonight, murmured the Mcdonald's moon. That would sing.
maximum vaguely use any little mouse. Maybe later be ok did saw, surpass ketchup is the number one condiment? Erica five years ago. It did but then I think catch up. came back around Europe caught up yet hee hee hee. but there's a lot of conflicting information on what the most popular condiment in America, so I wish I could be more definitive, but some this amount of others said so archer. Don't buy that four seconds, but then a few which so I'm I'm more likely to be man is managed. Is over sourcing catch up. Here I have to think catch up. Is the number one? Well, I think, comes in order. How back to jail, I know, but ketchup comes in and out it depends on the year, be up.
Ok see you sending a sailor, was thirty, eight hundred four tuition, and then you said that you have heard you s c, sixty thousand a year which that's because its private than its emphatic pensive yeah so you're, so it sounded like a sort of making this connection to like when you are it. You see allay was only this and now you're hurting you see is sixty, but that sort of not apples and all right a little bit. Apples and oranges, but you see currently is twenty seven thousand the semester. Then you take Greece masters here. I can't remember how it likes messrs versus quarters, where corridors for semesters to ok. So fifty four grand for that this classes and the new room and bored so dry north of sixty Natalie stab me. I would say more
hear me with you see why you see. I too wish in is thirteen thousand two hundred and twenty five for the EU for the year. But I believe that in state has so it's ok, it's a total with everything this on their website tool with everything, books, supplies, dorm, doormat price in the EP. That's thirty! Four thousand! Six hundred and seven, seventy year for a better schools. In: U S out of state, for everything is sixty three thousand yeah European state also at home, I'll pay, thirteen grand for the girls who go to you see a lay in a harpy or feel like I'm robbing Peter to pay Paul. I now all that citing I got, I had free tuition yeah.
tasting. They were not because of your native american posterity access, but I think we can happen. Is that happened. Arrogance is told his whole life and is grandpa was native American die now it happens Something happened like conclusion hours, maybe someone got adopted, no one said because he had zero native american map as genome. it is, as everyone thinks they descended from native. Amid, like everything is regrettable scrambles visibly native American yeah. And settling yeah. This is why you can't dive to d, be an army new camp twenty three in me, but after that you can go deeper right. We just just just take the law and run with it now in that, but I didn't get free to wish him because of my minority mass there's, a hope, scholarship and Georgia powerful
by the latter, who, if you, if you on a certain GPA and high school, you qualify for free tuition at a Georgia sky, state University that so cool anyway brand new, and I was the mayor, even your dorm. No, no just russian yeah yeah yeah. Ok, I wonder if this is interesting you know. His memory was so incredible member his reach calls for names, like my mom's thats, what I was about to say your mom had simply in their around the same age. They are. I wonder if that's part of it, with eyes technology in social media and all these things it's crowding a part of our brain that could have been used for Recall brochure. But you did me way too many people and the people on line, and always even the out of relationships you can maintain with this technology, because I can maintain thirty friendships by texting, but back in
You want to sit down in fucking call someone alone and have that they were there like use. You physically could maintain that many friendships yeah, but now who are you can juggle all these friendships and it was probably way more meaningful back then, maybe turning now. It's because I live through both phases. I have a very idea like memory of my core friendship group in Michigan. That's for sure can we just each other on the phone, and it is always to be together, is too cumbersome nature? some announcing to stay together the whole time I love talking on the phone elysium. It was a real hobby. I would talk for hours made to maybe it was. Our training this, maybe maybe even a ball near I mean sometimes I'd be like ok, I have to go eat dinner,
Hold on right, then I'd I'd, go, eat dinner, then come back and they be waiting and vice versa than I'd way. While bade dinner, I mean the german try to go to sleep on the phone with your friend, I know. Well, I don't know I have tried to It's never been successful. Do you mean what do you like your talking lane and ban and getting really lay resign? My girlfriend raining my real, like, let's asleep, on the phone to get. It sounded so fond yeah he's gonNa Laguna sleeping together and we like you- and I There will be the language is the one minute they know someone had to pull apply The two bizarre somewhere we eventually is gonna, hear. Ideally, tag everything you wouldn't hear because you'd be sleeping, Waller Wellesley. First, I'm right here, like cute Randy, I wanna go online plus Q. as I would allow work. I think I would like that. I, like all this stuff. You know
I like you about her, like a little too on accidents like yeah, yeah, ok, so speaking, Emory Mary Lou, Hanner Lady, with the super memory from taxi frame, yes Her condition is called Hyper thy measure, yeah or total recall memory, like the towards labour movie. Now, becomes so jealous of this, although you load the company? I thought I might be CD. but you never had I'm looking at me when they do this ex ante. Now I am I'm women get better, ok there, but there I would want the accompanying OECD. That's true! That's true bit How are they to me, but she can remember specific details of every day of her life since she was a small child, the Tuesday the weather of
day who is here with a day and sugar always raining until about noon cleared up. She they didn't she There are sixty men allows crazy. She said the closest escaped from the way her memory works. Is the scene selection feature on deep, de menu? She says she sees her. Memories are as an entire year that she can scroll through and that when she locates a particular membership, she can go in to see dates and other various details, such as what she was wearing and who she was with that I'm too. If she did also saying that interview, though, that the it's hard because she remembers all the pain very well. That's in them. Most people forget yeah. I think the pain is the first thing. You forget: The outer totally said the goods of sticks around all of them are so that would be a hard and also its hard is
if she were being accused of a crime she couldn't be like. Oh, I don't remember what happened between two and four. I don't remember that was three weeks ago and she remembers you does she know she committed at a glance, tat horrid detail exactly how many hundreds of that blade into that per annum and now he's very took it there. However, we want she's crime shows which we do a lot you know and whenever they find stabbing victims, there's always a shocking number of strikes, have you noticed this year once occurred to me as I once you start stabbing somebody you get carried away obvious. It's always like thirty. Two Abu sixty four stab me I think of anything so Rosa than inserting a knife into a human body and the thought that people minimally do it very easy to achieve is to let me know that they quickly
I use Bhikshu crossed the threshold aegis canst. I think your brain is probably already on some type of hyper drive. If your even beginning to start stabbing a person right pointed the app ok, w deformity. He said that Water despise he said this person already tries, were tried and that's true, but Atwater displacement, but water displacement. Fortieth formula do so now all right. I don't got. He didn't really allow me to put his fine of a point on it as I wanted to, but when I tell you that he knows every single screw in a fucking Weber, carburetor it is, I ve never seen some ones brain work the way his does in front of something mechanical yeah, that's so interesting wielding. Into by the EU in his shop. He doesn't just have. Cars is obsessed with all mechanized anything.
so he has one of the first steam power generators in there. He is all these Steen generators, local of engines. Everything any knows every part of those who know shit. You know two hundred year old machine. He knows every piece of he could put it together and make it wrong. That's crazy! I entered my hath Jason. I didn't tell I don't laugh had spent all tat had Yeah you bow about for him. Ok, see you sort of say Leno, you know he's kind and he'll call people after incidents or something, and he mention bill. Marr, ah ha, and I didn't really now remember what you are talking about. He was talking about brave. He high heels
I'm a writer on nine eleven right after he on his talk, show politically incorrect form on talk show. He said we ve been the cowards lobbying crews, missiles from two thousand miles away. That's cowardly! Staying in the airplane, when it's when it hits the building say when you want, bout it not cowardly. Does this club really rob people the wrong? I guess did not like I mean I think, just because the heightened it was I will close. The wound have even near there's, no healing now it is weird like it's one, those I once or year your nationalism trumps your dedication to the truth, which is like this paper. It's a factual statement that one thing takes more courage than another wish: a button, verses grabbed the yoke, but yeah
yeah, but we want to say we want to build a reserve all pejorative for them, so we want to call them cowardly. We want to every bad word. We must reserve for them here. I now ask the meaning and that's a deaf ear. will you you brought that plane down under the runway? Imperfect timing because we have a guest about to arrive. Yes, live to take three more peace, his share about plain landing, o beautiful good transition year without a to shape this, as we debate this week. It ass. We. to shape is a comeback. That kind of try first burn a bird. Did you she's like? I got his hat, but I'm wearing like I have a flower. My lapel, nearly nice flower, When I got to that's right, that's right! That's right! It's a fencing term! I think right. Take a counter count
I think so yeah me to learn more about fencing, ashoored ill ok, lobbied levy, visas, love you.