I welcome to the armchair expert today is big tree by popular demand and ass, my own selfish desires, ah Lauren Grams, going to join us as she is I'll, say I'm her tv brother, not she's, my tv sister. I should give her the status position as its well deserved she probably was most known from Gilmore girls. You know her from their she's Lorelei, my brothers in love with her. I think, to this day he still in love with her and now we spent six glorious years together on parenthood. In addition to her been amazing actress, she is also a thrice time published author. I believe in her current book is called Monica in conclusion. Don't worry about it and what does that come up today? today? In conclusion? Don't worry about it comes out today, so sprint out two year find two noble Amazon dot com.

You don't have to sprint Amazon, but you know we're signed here. Computer check this book out, she's a hell of a writer she just all and a things dreamily intelligent, thoughtful, wonderful woman. That I am grateful to Know- and I hope you enjoy it, he's not, I hope you didn't have anybody Else- has what we do, but we can easily cancelled out. I got but yes welcome to my attic Maya Construction Zone. I I love that kind of makes me think of like movies were set.

Vietnam, but then they go into the generals. Ten theirs. I candles. Let China now face a really were in this little oasis among a lot a pounding and drilling, and I mean I've been there. So I just a completely relate to the construction situation. This is what I had to ethics I look so bad, you look so beautiful, adjoin the there's, a man you being landed, you could be in a sleeping bag, personnel than would be birthnight, essentially generous, leaving on the way to the imo and the weight of the barber shop you get on higher. Did you get your hair done yeah? What's that process like That is, as it is mainly hours it. So many people at so many hours to make me look exactly the name. No, I have a colorist, oh who I love names on MAC half an hour but just to get brown. They take you to platinum them, build exaggerating, ride exactly right. It's a lot of Vienna Whiggery! No, it just takes a long time, and I have to do

what is a long time a couple hours, India and that's like without this is: can we just talk about hair the eyes of the law that that's one of the main focus now get hard airs hacker? it is totally lacking in the marketplace. See access that era? True, although I know that I say that I have to assume that Chaz, whatever has a podcast, I rarely does cause he's, got billboards every, whereas dean down I run into, he doesn't know me, but I run into mischief what's his name, who I've a love? Who does it show the the flipping our chow? Ok, what's his name Jeff Jeff Ridges, yes, Jeffrey Development phase of the earth is. This is the essence of my last name. Ok,

but he has no he's, not France, which has dean as just if this thing a recurring character on the show, because we as Jeffrey does his studio for one reason or another like once one burn down once there is a flood like I it's almost. Like, he's riddled with their out for reasons to have Chaz Dean back on the show, so just kings rejoicing, he moved ones. Like he's he's always on the show, our generosity in. If you dont know, he really makes a hare product when yet out it is- and I don't know if that's popular country. Why is it they sought on pvc and stuff? It's a non latherum shampoo, right, outta grapes. This has nothing to say anything about right now, all know what we did is we just got rid of part being a sponsor as well we're talking so much about chastity was put a sponsor no, but we just got that option. Everyone is a possible packed it back

Chaz D. He has a lot of billboards here and yes, Angela's that just has his face on it. It looks like me in South Green had a child. Ah, that's how he weirdly is like a cross pollination obsessed, green, an eye, but here cross pollination of so many think people Zack Brow. Yes, you ever newer and name like us, Dub arrive by Wednesday, That is true. It is possible that this allow that's nice, yeah, big dose of creative legendary SEC symbol status. Sure her sir, I heard her where'll quick casting it's more. The billboards are more than just a space. His you see his body and he's wearing. Two

assets or two calls. You want him to do so to states kind of like a riddle within when you look at it at high speed. You gotta think like what was he learned to hear your class? No internet dies, but only in LOS Angeles is their possibility that your trainer, your hair person, may in your lifetime. A more famous than you, oh yeah. I I've been bombed by make up artists who are just too the famous yeah do who made a kind of now guy you I bought Christians. Engagement, ring off of is now

that is a national celebrity in. I think he's a spokesman for like cage or of any Alain. Oh yeah. Do you know him? Well knows now, don't know personally, but that's not like the same thing. He was already using a famous jeweller when he will only while bring him. It sounds like an old guy over. I met a mine army eggs at this hour. Resign zones analyze, unlike rodeo dry mail, which people can varies a great idea. I wasn't means who imply. I discovered that I'm certainly was an existing Beverly hills right. Yes, fancy pants now he has now is your nose. Nematode Y yeah area, I guess I'm keeping pace with me. I'll lay a hacker ominous Yoda, but he's representing you know a mall jewelry store now right. Yeah is that I think so,

yeah, I'm only many regionalized. Yet another sponsor every wish became hours, but that's a gene, Noriega Lauren. What what's wrong? They ve done about this, as I often have friends on and then I read about them and then there's all the stuff that even in ten years of foreign J, I had no idea about limits kind of fun. For me, one of them does that you're born and why current this makes sense. Yes, right, right, I think of you as a Virginian. I, yes, that why was mainly raised in Virginia, but the first couple of years were colorful. My dad took an aptitude test when he was in may be the first year of law school and the only language he'd ever taken was latin and for some reason he like responded to a sort of thing on the on a bolt and board, which was test your attitude to learn Vietnamese very tone, all very calm, Kay

language and he took this test and scored very high and kind of put that, together with I'm sure, some feelings of guilt or in the Vietnam WAR was sure on at the time it was. Nineteen sixty sexes, the height of of everything, and he was in school and married, so you wasn't gonna be drafted, but I think he felt compelled to help in some way. So he went to work for organization called HIV, which is AIDS internationals in distress, which is a day ion yes became apparent

became a happy. Yes, he started an umbrella company. Gotta remember this was long before her discovered as it was that maybe why they referred to it is eighty eight by means of the sun was shining sickles, Eleni, we're sorry well now rational zone. That reminds me for some reason of one of my favorite stories about Matthew, Perry, which I can never tell properly by. I didn't movie with great concern about the guy who invented the intermodal Winchell. Yes right, click, our friend or a flash of genius and our friend directed Mark Abraham. My love. I had also done a movie Matthew that year and we were both in Sundance, so we did our press together every time. Some rude asked me about the movie about the guy, who invented the intermittent windshield wiper than they say and Matthew. You know where you were,

yeah he's like it. So we cause I'm working on. Then you know that little hole on this is that you put your shoe lay through on a shoe. The guy like throughout the day I just kept making up like are random things somewhat more and there has been survival resume and ever more alive when it's one of those things that is it is it so particular to his sense of humor but like, I must think of it. Like once a week, I laughed so hard and that's what signal Elinor Goby, so anyway, my dad to Vietnam, but on his way you ve had a three month intensive language school in Honolulu, because the Navy was doing? Is our there's a navy base there? Obviously Pearl harbor live there in particular, was in no idea

Military related them, while I d as it is an offshoot of the CIA, which, over the years I now and there were some embedded spies so, which is another thing that to me is hilarious. My father's well known for like putting like cameras and key. Three months, unlike glasses, on top of the car and like driving away and like we have never, I never owned a husky because everybody lost their keys all the time. So we just ended up with leave the cars open. We ride a door open so the idea that, like that, it's, if you would have been a Nicaragua has sitcom without the House forget: oh Diana Merit is also there sat by the waves sold so that, I was born in white, but I was only there for three weeks and I my dad left for Vietnam and my mom, and I went back to Japan, which is where she had lived for.

Many many years got her. Parents were mission, area, surveillance or medicine sounds like it's out of the eighteenth century story. Beata doesn't sound possible, they were pioneers in you now and an there weren't many people trying to convert the Japanese. Into being southern Baptist, so we arrive at an early so and it didn't totally gadget hands behind my. My grandparents did start to a church that still exists in Sunday, and were they in any way related to the military is. There is also all these people that stayed there after world war. Two right. There is a huge brain by me. Now. Is just part of the Baptist Church Outreach might around. And swore southern bow really. I even though we were Michigan there, the handover, southern Baptists and my brother and I went and the only thing I made a tolerable that occasionally you got to yell a man right right,

harry delayed. Our wait for a few adults do at member brother and I would do in the night. My papa Bob would like pinch us really hard. We could start now almost Amy present anything or is it a manner happen him well. I would mainly grew up with my dad who is raised. Hath lack and my dad's like the quiet, ass man and the catholic church. You do not yet a man. So then I go, and you know my grandfather was also of pretty mellow guy captain he was up preaching and then he Fire Brigade of Spirit, and so you never spoken tongues. Did you know he knows I now so close I'm looking for one degree of separation from someone who speaks and tongue No, I'm you you're doing, then you know better that anymore. It's just not aspire and I hope this relegated only to the church. I would let me at the Mcdonald's defines as arising. I gotta get back to you. It's a big mouth exercise expertise. I love you. I won't let you know what what's the concept behinds began

once again, there are worrying mediums run a year, and speaking I don't know a guy most valuable, but luckily Monica fact, checks simulators invariably I'll spout a bunch of data that Twenty years ago, riots broke out correct right. And she went on data. Are you spell out? Only I knew at once became clear in the Sinai three million miles aware in the moon had entered either as a minor knows on it yeah he and I often like to get injustice. Number of these as a number and I respond within member, but I do believe it is that the bold the Lord is speaking through you, inadequacies, Eden, speak English so obvious, his hand and we like them all. As I mean, I think it would be angler. I just given the tradition of it by about it's an answer: nonsensical language, it away. I left to us the disciples to powerfully out. Looking already have father you. I bet your father. Would it s really high

Oh yeah makes the taxpayers money in his arms that part of the story in my own life, as has always been glossed over like what first of all, what is that test. Test your ability to learn to speak the enemy, without you, knowing it yeah, like, I guess, there's noises that they may they haven't. I don't remember being an oral task, but I went I've been to Vietnam with my dad. We did a bike trip there and he can still speak. It's me Jana, kids, yeah, and people are shocked and was interesting as I knew you had gone on that trip with your father. Yes, you did it in the hiatus of one of our seas and yes like between foreign, five or something What was he doing there with his new Vietnamese? So they might. From this or that there is and always gets add something right as yet again yet many a man in my that's international coffee, Viet Nummies visa

money now now and not in every it remains a beggar again you're exits Gareth. Clearly I wouldn't tested very, not sent me it was they had supplies. We would help people rebuild the peace corps adjacent, but this is part of our trip. We know there is someone who who was sitting in a park bench who probably just because we were caucasian people around and unusual, sights set yelled something, but I saw wanted some somebody to walk up to him and be like Larry. You helped me that day. You know, I wanted alive movie version your horse and am, and it was not that, but it was it was just couldn't you have paid. Someone on the Cyprus issue would have you know. I have to say I really great. It does not have an hour earlier than they wouldn't have known the difference it. I've been like yeah fell at app course. I remember he has set out.

And how long was there? He was there for a year and a half I was the first with our in my life. He s mind bug it is you know they were so young when they got marital how they were twenty, do now. I think the whole thing was a little bit of improper advised situation. I was with my grandmother my mom your mom's, my yes, that's! Why didn't you probably went to Japan as you want and somehow that's right, right and so yeah I lived for the first year and a half my life in Tokyo and then make sure. Of course you have no memory over. I feel, like I do It's that thing where there are few pictures of me I'm and I may be think- and I do remember because they had a kind of a nanny too, to the kid Santos on- and I I remember that presents I remember this- that person taking care of meat, I feel like. I have some sense of that time.

And then you guys all meet back up the Virginia. I what happens then. My father came to Japan and we they they took a ship back through Russia when I'm very confused matters geographically, a man this is Romano go come in, but my understanding of where Japan, where I have no idea how Maskos on the way I dont really either guys training in that area, the siberian railroad to Moscow, because it's very far EAST, I really ice. Maybe they were, they were like a word. You now reunited. Let sail around the world. I ah ha. So I know that I got you look rekindle this Roma, aiming at even ass. I dont like chicken pox on the boat and there there are lots of stories of them going to dinner and stuff like that, those like. We add, abide by myself, you know and in those weeping it off their legs

probably the fine. It's the sixties, Silvio gay Suvs outline of a girl, but it is curious right because I accumulate all these stories, as you do of map, what things my don't say when I was young and they made perfect sense. I am now them rare age or I'm not older them, and then they start to make zeros and rainy and that's got to be one of them. But I would imagine it's very peculiar from my point of view, that you would take a year and a half off as newly. What's the baby right? So do you think that was at all that a clue as to what the relationship was like at that time? Probably am I. I think it was also a meanness, no, not kind where I think.

My dad was deeply freaked out when you ran wanting to young- and this is now here and with which we get closer and closer to exactly what that decision was an and sort of even how they came together. My dad's mother, famously when he came home and said you know, I'm going married. She said, but Larry you ve, never even had a girlfriend hook footing. He like also he played sports e, extremely smartening and also my mother's, a very special person, a man. You know he always says about heard like just one in a million you know, he'd never met anybody like her, and I think it just knocked him over and in in any number of of ways and then yet. But a time he came back. She was ready to give rise. I mean they world they weren't together for very long and met, was in Virginia. You really are dry Diana get us to virgin,

now. That's an exotic was. Why would I want to talk about Vietnam when I could be talking about Regina? So my mother fell off the boat and had to be really have a limit. You mean she made it to Virginia. We don't need to know about the helicopter roasted you're anybody we leave to burst in so the house I remember, was in Southampton and long island. My dad parents were a mile and then I think they split up and then We lived her husband, the Virgin island. My good, this is just one step away from swiss family rabbit site without an inordinate amount of bodes well, I remember living on the houseboat because I remember the feeling of being seen like it was, it was dark, both kind of like where crime Believe tat. I should have called your dad and, although I have to imagine the bachelor experience on houseboat is drastically different than new family on a houseboat whelms light

yeah yeah? I not he's got. We had a tiny boat and he has, however old I was. You know not anything at all and yet all the time? I don't want him ever worried. A liberating I mean. I we live on land and army on the poor girl is pretty self sufficient, I'm sure after little chicken pox thing. She's fine, but I would get picked up for daycare school or nursery school reverend motorboat. In like a little, those so interacts crazy, and then we can about around. We lived in Manhattan and then my grandparents now we're back in the states and we're living in Do you see- and I think partially because at that time, because he got a job working on capital hell, that's when we get there there, Liberia s own land, Knowing that we move too early?

and then Avoid a we love Virginia I'm sure, they're Monica hi. How are you doing great do not armchair expert is now supported in part by hello, fresh, that's the rumour. Ah, the meal kit deliver the service that shops plans in delivers your food recipes and pre measured ingredients, so you can just cookie and enjoy so even free up some time. For everyone with hello, fresh selection, three plans, the Jews from classic veggie family. Each box is made up of fresh responsibly obtained ingredients You can make family dinners fuss free with Hallo, freshest, picky, eater kid tested and approve family plan recipes. Look Monica drivers You're gonna enjoy not having to plan dinner beyond spend money and take out like you, wanna easy

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Check it out arm Jerry's, but at five and my right, five yeah your mom and dad divorce yeah. She was the England Right which, again, from my perspective now yeah that's a crazy joint. Yet I feel I must go with my mom. She was kind of in the wrong time. Do you know what I mean leggy? She was not quite as traditional as someone who had grown up in the fifties. Could she had all this exotic life experience and she spoke of foreign language. She travelled and veal in it. She still had enough traditional sense that she wanted to get married and- and then I think, out there and was like wait a minute. I don't even know who I am or what I want to do so. Initially she was an art school in New York City. Then she had dabbled. Try to you know, get cast in summer stock. You know,

She had a sort of interest in acting, but not she couldn't really stick with right, anything too much and then and then she- and I'm not sure if this was the first thing they brought her there, but she wasn't in a series of pop bans are really ass. She was a backup singer with her best buddy in a ban called goddess, and this is now England in the eighties, and I do have very strong memories of going to visit her during that time was. She was trying at this music career going and I I went with her to a couple of rehearsals and meetings and it was. It was very daunting was. It was kind of scary to say how interesting that you'd have witnessed that and then sell chose to put yourself in a situation where dynamically watching her go through. What she went through gave me a healthy suspicion. I guess up people in a business. I remember sitting in a meeting with her. I just I have for whatever reason.

I remember thinking the sky is lying he's just this is not a response to reverse engineer and- and she was more gullible and more hopeful and we can be very much blinded right now your dream and yes- ignoring some pretty big sign. She always she had such a kind of. If you dream at it, oh come kind of vision, and so I always believed for her that it would this that some magical, because she was in readily stunning like in a way that, even as a teenager men are whistling on the street at her in any way I grow, I'm the teenage arguer. She had a kind of she carried herself in this incredibly elegant way, and she was just this very striking person so that combined with her intelligence and her kind of vision for herself, I just I always thought just I thought her dreams will come true right. Does she has all the thing she

is everything required about. Did she do like coarser miracles arouse things? No, no. She was much more she's, a funny combination of she's, very intellectual, but then I guess maybe had a sense. It was her interpretation of all the religion she grown up where the I think was just this. There was a she didn't quite embrace what had been taught to her, but I think she did believe in something, and it was a very painful on many levels- realisation when she passed away without any of those things coming true, and it was a real shock to me and it and it served I mean I already was sort of starting to work before that, but I have never believed. If you dream it will cut me. I mean you hustle and work for everything we have, that in common ya, hear law other factors on the initiative. You saying that they just knew what would happen whenever not I'm virtually the opposite of Michael

happen, but I'm gonna do all the steps required swam nor grat right, but suffice say you are a very, I think we have What kind of a similar I you know my dear love when I was three moved England, but he moved into a bar virtually and and he die very young at sixty two and I've had this whole full circle feeling about him me now. Explain a lot of my isms based on him. Yet have come to love him. I give him too much blame. Many deserves, like it's all its own. The sea mix. I love him, but it was definitely like my big relationship. Shimmers you fix and confront. My whole life is that is that what you're you're?

other in yours was I mean? Did you take it personally when she left England to me that famous lower? I did I'm sure I did. I don't remember that necessarily, but as a young adult, I felt really clear that up. I probably was not going to get an answer from her that would fix or change anything and that what I wanted was for us to have as good a relationship as we possibly could, and that meant I had to readjust right now. So you the adult in the relationship that sums like the adult kind of response to it. While I did go through a time and I went through a couple of years when we really didn't speak of the couple years in college, I I just didn't see: Herndon didn't really speak term in my family people don't raise our voices really and never confrontation is never a fighter

never a u in others, never any of that. It's I just kind of took a few years. I feel like to figure out where I was a new super close your dad right. I'm super close to my dad you some of my stuff. I'm so in love with my mother however, man. I was about my personal stake in it, I really was mad at him for her in Iraq. She was a single mother raises in he wasn't participating in a way. I thought he should and financially or time why so I was is so mad that he could have treated this one.

Number one. Yes, it wasn't so later wiser only my own, like, while you are now a mad about me in right. Well, my mom also was diagnosed with cancer, pretty young for the first time when she is around fifty Brad answer and she had had my half sister, whose fifteen years younger than I am, and that was like an instant bond. So my trips became less about anything except being friends with my sister taking care of her when she was really little and my most first diagnosed with cancer. My sister kind of turned to me and started getting. You know, sent to spend more with me or no hang out. Come visit me at work or something, and that also, I think, made the perspective shift in own. There was not going to be any a whole bunch of time to work this out and

just sort of adjusted everything I loved and were you going to see her like ones year once or twice a year, maybe, and am also my dad- was always really respectful of her. They always were friends. They really. You know you could see until the end occasionally didn't happen very often, but with the three of us would go to dinner, they couldn't stop talking to one another, they lad so much to say, and so many common interests and books. There talking They were just there were such electricity yeah, intellectually, so she didn't. You ever think that allow had these people met a third yes for sure could have very manner for sure yeah. I just think they were over wound. She knew she could probably have found what she wanted to do with her life within within our relationship within being a Mamma. I just ass. She didn't think so, I was thirty eight. When I had Lincoln and down. We have help rightly of money. We don't have to worry about that kind of industry. Almost yeah. I wish you to the breaking

de, I can't imagine, being twenties oak yet again kids and looking back inside what what the fuck did. I expect of my twenty four year old, yet I had who now have two kids ray a wife and all this rail I'll just think its end. I dont know where this came from, but I just don't think it does anyone any good to to live in the poor me. You know my eyes is really don't believe in that, and I say that humbly because much far worse circumstances have happened to people, but I I always had a very independent, like you know: you're not gonna, be defined by that right. And then- and I think that's the most pragmatic and healthy way to do it. At the same time, I do think, as you become an adult, and you find yourself in patterns, which I certainly found myself and patterns both with relationships and all kinds of things at that point is used.

The girl like war. What why? What it, what is it I'm tryin to heal myself of it is relevant to find out the one nail behind its inescapable. You can't possibly know I'm not saying I like made a decision to be neutral or happy about it and that it never affected anything effected everything. I've said, there's a bunch. Anyone know why but it. But I guess the other is really is really Kido recognise the difference between an explanation and an excuse. So I am in rested in the explanation of how my childhood is. You know, cradle? These patterns are habits I'm not interested in it being an excuse for why behave in this way, and I do think people think other people are met. Excuse me sometimes are not there does recognising. Oh, like me, I have a fucking man, complex I'd. Do anything. I think that, we'll make me a man, a ride. Willie's unshadowed jump off a building, all fight a guy whatever ever desgas. Ultimately just waiting for my dad Robin go like God, Damn son

You remember the ethics era, millions Magna and I started out from other men. Might my peers? Yes, Gimme, that but at some point you have to go. Ok, cool! You have that that issue, but it is time to stop jumping up, and you know I was never going to be some of the things she just naturally was she had in all this. I'm sure sounds so false. Coming from like an actor, you know, but I dont understand clothes like I really really right. All I and I finally just had to be like I'm, not my mother, and I just I don't have a great sense of it. She has had a sort of femininity that just not me yeah and it's like your man stuff. You know I'm sure, I'd like real put together at kind of elegant and effortlessly blow it whatever. It is, even if I'm defining myself by what I

in compared to her, but is an interesting. So so here's some someone that sounds like it. It would have probably member, even a little easier for her to come with those gulls. Ah, but if there's any quality you had that I've Norris over the years is that you finish it. You start, and that in itself is, is it is equality, that's worth more than anything weirdly, because he had? You look like, let's say her and effortlessly elegant and then had your quality. To finish what you start. You know, God knows what that is, but you, when school, you finish school, you went in, you got a masters degree. You write books court that that weirdly What is the most vital thing that you could have it's sad to or in a way, because those are some goals she had. You know that she was never. She wrote, there's just so many you know things she wanted to do that she didn't get to do, and so I'm sure that is a driving

force right, Jack, I'm living on her dreams inwardly, using in any way psychologically. You knew your mother had a flare for this. Did you in any way think I'll start performing as a kid and that something that she'll be into? stood in me for you think at all. Your interest in acting in performing, was started by the desire to be noticed by her. I don't know it it. It didn't necessarily seem like a reality because not know that she ever saw me in anything. She wasn't around enough to have that fantasy. I would so far away and two marriages and genetic bug your plea as ours. Yes, I want to do that well and when she was growing up one of the oldest of forced sisters, there is a kind of celebrity to being the missionary kid in these areas, where just let, by virtue of these four gorgeous girls like they were celebrities

One of her sisters was had a pop hit in the eighties. You know it was in the family, so I didn't equate that what they did was so kind of glamorous and, like my I pity you know who was the singer had like platinum, blonde hair and she Why would I was at her video shoe Hata horse? That's that gave me permission and awaits even imagine it being possible, but my biggest stream was like to be in the Rep company of arena stage in Washington and maybe because what I saw of success I just did airports. Success looked so funny to me, so I thought or not you know yeah. I won't do that I'll, be like a real actor in Lorraine right. You are you your in into it for what you deem the right reasons, not just for attention

it was Thursday on those things they say it was. I had no choice, it was just the thing I was completely drawn to. It was not result oriented beginning at all in and when I was growing up, I'm a little older than you. We didn't have those examples. There were no. There were no. Fashions. There were no. Do you think I grew up with a canal I'm? So I just ain't there, like my go. Do example lay came out with aim as you yeah, you react able. I mean why remember sitting in my college dorm when, like MTV Start run out, I like that we didn't have models in the same way: kids, the kids, there was no reality shows those. No you two right now and there are three channels on daddy softly. He adds, if you get no, I wanted to be like fire. I would not like another actress I was trying to be

to imagine Fonzie now these would have a glowing line, is pretty bad things that are your hey. He would have a cologne arms in cologne. He'd have the leather jacket allows like Jack a line of motorcycles, so you, the school you did really well in school. You, your dad is, is very bright mere from my experience very bright and was college fund for you well know. I went to acting school my first year and an added value at anyway. It's very the facts that you know by the way I didn't know any of them: twenty four hours, let you know we've been friends for a decade but Jimmy Kimmel. People. I d, I like you could anytime, I interviewed the end was acquitted from their homes, I went and when I went to school my boyfriend, the time was at Harvard I would go visit him The contracting before. Yes, where you boy crazy as a girl,

No guy! I know I don't add this one boyfriend, often on through most of high school and a little bit into college. Who are you trying to do your dad? What are your boyfriends dad types? Well, yeah little I mean in that, like my old, this old women, and talking about and Peter met, one time in San Francisco, I was having lunch with Charlie. My weapon me they like walked up to one another and you remember. I've been Peter said this. He goes well. She likes tall white guys with backpacks idiom hygienists using yes and no. I wait. He just means paled about very pale and not union ugly, but but you know they were both their both

Lee brainy Charley was the you know our senior class president and and a very creative in an interesting guy, and but he was my friend for a long time. I was the Lee Abridge person between the cool girls and the geeky guys were it not for me they would never have Makko mangled, but- and I was only on the outside of cool girls like I was sort of just like they. Let me come along. I was not one of the popular people, but I had a couple friends in the in the group of of girls who were like fun and then and then all my guy friends are like from high school or crazy, successful it

the number and word slightly less popular with the girls at the time, although those guys always do and without having my only early Dona. So I wouldn't say necessarily boy crazy, but I definitely had this on again off again relation with him for a while and and then I went, I go visit him in school. And what he was doing seemed like school to me, what I was doing seemed abstract. You know it was those stuff you're Estonia and why you, because I was seventeen when I went to college because I had skip, degrade and ass. I was very young and I had never been in a conservatory type training programme and You know you literally just like do crazy, oh yeah Kristen, when you and stuff she tells me about I, it's my blind, yeah yeah you're going

Alexander techniques are breathing in people's minds, arises of how lucky I decided to write like really long pay me ass. Well, for some reason I crave that I just I thought I don't know that for years in this is gonna, I just didn't make sense Sonia than a transfer to barnard- and I know my credit transfer, but that the thesis of all of this I want to say is I was- I was driven by some ticking clock that actually does not exist, but I was sure that if I didn't do everything as quickly as I possibly could that I was going to fail and there's whatever that anxiety its The combination of anxiety and ambition, because it's not just its not just pure ambition, there's something in there. That's like whacked, its its film, oh yeah, yeah, because I was in a panic all the time and I thought I needed to finish school on time er. I wrote about this a little bit of my book that you had this really,

made up of finish line. I am so I realized tat. He was so easy to fail and also the idea that one year, older and indeed are all being behind a genuine bagliani sex. What now you gotta do it by twenty five years is not true, I had a similar, I don't know where it came from yeah. Like you, you end up finding people right that you like Water annoy Nessie. Hidden Hinton was fourteen when she wrote outsiders are, or she wasn't crazy, young and that's they now and I'm eighteen, I feel like I'm forty, there's behind rise arbiter, a thing around. While I had a friend in high school who was also interesting theatre, who some imagines company, sure I had which will arise. I was uncle heated summer stock. I should do. I should have done Somerset. He got a commercial commercial. I should have had something like as if we're at all the same area he's a guy anyway, but so far

talking about rebooting Gilmore girls with him as the lead. So I think it's so I wanted to cram these four years of school, basically into three years, which I did, but I didn't do well it's a where's, your honor, I know, wasn't fun at all and now they just inviting all directly, but people are doing in manner. I was with Charlie further. Like most of my freshman year, I had a couple like really ill fated date saying It was a rough time in the eighties and New York state like plus a foreigner there's since they had just started taking women at Columbia college, although the ratios were really off. There are in our favour that no now they had so there, there are three colleges, there's Barnard, Colombia and the school of engineering. There were far more women, so Barnard is knowledge of women, so there were men had their peck. Basically, our is like the two straight guys and Christians musical Thea

You see. I rely too tired to have sex arachnid colonel well above the demand. Always for whatever reason you know I was tomboy as raised by my dad. I end up in these really girly situations. You know I I rode horses as a kid that was my big sport. There's like one guide and in GINO my horse background camp and then even Gilmore girls was always such a funny. You know thing to be kind of my big thing because it was it. It is I always appreciate the men who say that they have enjoyed it, but it's no female worlds. If it was a female world and an that's who graders female yeah right you and it's a mother daughter story, the bars and the fuckin boss on your more on a tree archie. It is an end. There's you know. Perhaps some poetry I mean I would get asked year after year after year. You know was this year relationship with your mom, and you know what

mom and I am neither a mom nor had this relation to rhyme around and and yet I got to have that an infection you now and- and I do so- I thought that was interesting and then I ended up in this mean a women's college, which I couldn't be more thankful for the experience, but I am Mina most my friends were got hissing crawling up, legged desires, unlikely, so yeah. I did a couple of couple: yeah. I wasn't anything, would write a steamy now and then an archipelago also not necessarily a guy magnet, yeah. Well, That's my I'd. Never going to see a female archipelago. We were kind of cool thou. We were I'll. Well how hold the power of the free market failure we work as it would be a little edgy. We weak throughout condoms, network,

I guess not her eye labelling that super cool. When we get there. Would you put one on a banana and now we have really made macaroni necklaces like it was just kind of kitchen. I was a great time. Anywhere you doing that purely for fauna. Was that also tightened somehow, They are driven. Her are this time. Clock motivated was that something it was actually more. My attempt to a social, because I felt really isolated. As a transfer student, I didn't know anyone. I went to see this group and they were really cool and aunt em, and I thought it was a coup Egypt kind of thing to do you. I wouldn't really have sooner haven't any other woman courses at every level of socialism, and that was an aspect of it too, which is you travel to other schools, performance glued schools? I think after acting school I wanted to like be sitting on a quad playing hockey stack like I just wanted some Munich poetic,

for every euro, as of of college Anna and in the middle of Manhattan. There's only so much you can What was your? What was your relief from this for lack of a better word Taipei ISM? Where were you finding solace at the time? I don't really in housing. My was drinking. I had the same kind of DR that you do and this nonsense voice telling me I'm failing unfailing, you missed the boat right in drinking was a great relief of that I Agnes did not have that. I filled up all my time. I think that was one of the things I did. I I so that there was no time

to consider if this was a way to live with that idea, because I struggled to pay for school, I worked in the library, I was a waitress, I mean I want to get out of school. I was a tutor. I worked at Barneys. I was a cocktail waitress the improv. I assured theater and move the like. I was on a hustle that like had no end the summer, I'd, go work at this summer stock, where you in Michigan I lie, went set. How on earth ass, you know amazing, I end up, I dont know has it worries us ass. Listen to me when I tell you I only where I or I listen to you, but this is a small towns, as I am now, or your leisure of doing a virgin I would have told you about it all the time this was are those I summaries of Michigan upon bloody, it's a thousand degrees and none of your painting, the fence, which is what we did every summer they use.

MR me argue Azure go it was. It was a it's such a smart business model because they basically you're paying for the privilege. Clean, the bathroom like summer stock rate, so in its non union? So you do these big additions. New York called the straw hat and that's how you got a summer job. But a lot of these you started as an apprentice in the the carrot on the, and the stick was. If you worked there are enough, Mars. You get your equity card in it. Are you so you are your building up. You know, whatever its credits are points are harbour they do at em and also performing you would perform in the chorus of and once in awhile you'd get apart. And by ensuring that this isn't like filled with hanky panky. These are people who have worked out that lies at the heart of Europe, where there is a ton, a heavy pain in the ass. I I was starting to do a little better by then and manner

You say those those warm summer knights and measure, and there's not a lot to do in meaning we would go, go swimming. No, it isn't a land locked. I know we gotta target. That's what we're here for mine. Ok, where EU targets Agnew at the time, you're like what you can get a tomato and a speaker like what is or break guenaud great new placement and- and that was what we do- is walk the isles of target ass. He had no time off at because you'd work as a year was this. This was ninety three like yet shoe. He asked! Well yeah I mean we could have goddamn bumped into one another. I was still there. Were you in our demands? A hanky panky out of her letter about this Oda heard you're from Virginia

gotta be wooed. Can you see DC? I don't think it stopped. Almost literally until I mean there was a little bit of a nice respite where I started working a little bit as an actor. I finally started making some commercials and had some money for the first time you booked commercials, which draw me out when I read about you, why good, because I audition for commercial rate years in an eight years I booked to one of them, was an industrial by really could not. I must driven out yet hours were hundreds gang. I don't know. Maybe today back then I felt like I was not good looking enough for, like the deodorant, are shown a. Nor was I character. Are you looking enough to be the guy who falls down, leaving the bathroom? I just felt like I was in this, and maybe it was all in my head, the animated socked. I have no clue but suffice to say I definitely did not brook any of those, and I went on thousands. I, I does this memory I get when I closed the door

from my hand, a civic and I finally Santa Hudson, you did other that when people ask me I'm advice for an aspiring accuracy I hope the civic wasn't. I can make any money. You know what this thing to break yeah, it's gonna, get you everywhere. He s. Like my number one piece of advice I said, but I was shut, the door, my heart to civic and I will go jellies bits obeys Friday and hear back, that's it was a man of my life is saying: it's he's writing here. When I get my car I this is in my book or sale that I say the hardest line ever written by any great writer is well to Chile's recognising the exact line that exact Linda because its

whatever the entrance line that are like Juilliard. I've gone back to my at my grad programme and as a new and have them that's. That's my opener like a workshop, because, because its it that sweet spot of authentic but sales per sets it so many things you're trying to be all at all at one, oh yeah! Now in so many those additions, I'd like a ten percent the additions I went on? You are required to dance to no music because you had line so you'd be in this room dancing and then it gets. I shouted. The dance this is gonna, be a fun commercial with dancing you now here either on a dance floor you found out, you got a raise new gonna. Do a happy man again I just know, I would shut the door to my Honda and then I wouldn't remember the perfect area should a dry and so embarrassing- I mean yes, it is really hit and also, I think, it's really good training. I mean

and no one was more shocked than I when I when I started looking these and in fact, I'd gone years without like no reason, I should believe this was gonna work out a wire except I started getting some crucial, but but there are you, mad but enough living out that you no longer have to have seven joint made a rule which wise I would continue cause. I had a waitress in job still and then I was gonna keep that job, even though I was starting to put a little money in the bank and technically you know, maybe for a few months didn't have to be working every day until something came up that forced me to quit my data and which is fun, and now I think, the opposite of, like the secret and all the self help books, which is you got to close that door before you can you know, but you did the opposite, and it's still work so put that in your pipe and suck on it

part of that anxiety, forming a sense of Monica how's. The honesty I have this- and I think you have this, which is you have this fear- also that if you tap into a certain lack of humility gap. You'll get nothing up from the world right as well. Rights are like Monica, well, she Monica by the way books every fucking commercialization. She goes on I'm so happy or an I'm, so jealousy advocates a grandma s like it's up a legit percentage and then they'll be one way gee, it's in Santa Monica five pm yeah, something she knows he's not gonna get in. She tells herself if I don't drive there I'll, never Appointing right courses is hooey, but you you do it. I had to some bargaining happening at a universal that link, but when you're a freelancer of any kind, you have to do that. You have to make up your own structure in Europe.

On Coke code of conduct, because he's gonna do it for you and an you, might as well. Listen to the people who hung on to reality at longer than the ones who are they. I believe in yourself. You know that's probably in reaction to so my mom stuff too, but there is a friend of mine. As a percentage Alabama. If she No one who just came out here did to you know to try to be an actor and, like you know, semi attacks over a couple months, like you know how much you know, how do I know could like when is it going to happen, and I was like dude you got years ahead like it can be years. You know and so you gonna have to be your own gonna steal my sentence. I give to family member. Yes what but- and I do believe in this case as it was my mantra which, as you know, look if this mere he'd be happier failing at then. He would be succeeding that something else the misses the job for him

think that occasionally, when I was like at least I was in the Sunday show at the groundlings, and at least at that and I did- and I remember during that period- I was still flat broken everything, but I was like happy you're doing this and I will be making a ton of money at some other business ass. You know and I had a class two once I got out of grad school, I studied with this teacher when hand men who is still with us and Anna they're, making a documentary about him. I just got to go and talk about him for a long time and they handed me the keys, TAT, she from my class and Conny Britain, that's where I met cars there also Mombi was was on the sheet and, like you know, that not only was that the creative outlet that kept me going, but this became a little bit of my community. You know when you are starting out. You looked to the left and the right and you hopefully you'll, have some friends who comes exactly ass enemies, circle, my life, that was Melissa, Mccarthy. Her

So we were all in Kommeni troop together and then she was the first among us that was like bought a house right in a random being Sukhi right homework earlier, and that was that was mine. Blowing yes, I mean those all we talked about yeah yeah, we all remember the name. She was still friends with us because I'm yeah, that's all we thought about the fact that she was not making a paycheck yeah doing this thing. I went with her to look at at First House overlap jealously around where she read it, which is incredible that I remember in college. There was a guy who is in another archipelago who had I like a burger king, commercial you'd point him out. You know, like people, be always asked the guy, oh yeah, the thing like it so far away when you, when you're, not even close, you know and yeah, then, even once you get in it, I could see as far as can maybe get a couple lines on a soap and then I got a couple lines on a soap and then I was like. Maybe I could be like a guess, star and sick common, and I got that and then what

you keep having to the market as well as if you're smart, I did want to talk to you about that, because I think that something that we we both have right and in that is, that is human nature, so it's eye caught. If I could just make a living doing commercially out every tell yourself there for a while. Then You got me if I just a regular on a sick idea. That would be it, but that never stop you eventually, if you want to know piece, you can't. I gotta stop that's right, yeah, because you can also miss out. My analogies always like I've heard a lot of different actors that were in a move, We were on a location somewhere exotic were making good money at and their preoccupied that there. Now sullen sound right and, I always say, we would be a real fucking shamed miss the experience of having been in the NBA just because you're, not Michael Jordan. I it's really simple: to go. Fuck em, not Michael Jordan. Will you might be Scotty Pitman? That's

God, damn amazing live in its very easy to miss it because you do keep moving yeah Arkwright. Well, what I mean in moving the bar is is its fun to give yourself something to aspire to fine. For me, the bar does change and at a certain point my bar became more about feeling really happy at home, having love in my life and and in feeling really grateful for that and pivoting. For me, it's helpful to read the landscape and go well that that's not gonna happen, or this is gonna had and you're not gonna, be a superhero enneads ready, I'm not either that rat ship sailed. That's right that right and I'm not gonna be Sandra Bullock Majority did it ends up? It's not gonna. Suddenly you know, but so- and I have always been very pretty realistic about that. I dont know what the next thing is. As an actor like I am. I am at my first place.

Where there are more options that are not appealing than ones that are, which is why one of the reasons I started writing and I also started writing just out of the same way I started acting. It just happened, and I thought okay. Well. If this is bubbling up, I better give it some attention and no deadline, and I'm structure. I have more writing assignments right now than I do. But what is interesting is you started this prior to being in that mental state? As you started the first book, while we were doing parent? Yes right, yeah, that will you that far sighted that now now this is what that was. I was on a job that was really fun. Parenthood down and if you had to say one more thing I mean whatever you say my name, but do you know of one person pops a person? I wish I had more scenes with the most was yoke. Is we had you time. We had such a glass and- and I do

You like, we had the least amount of scenes Jani to characterise the embryo weirdly. I remember when you join, because for people who don't notice the pilot was shot with more attorney tyranny safely and of these you no more certain tyranny, she's a vietnamese actor from Vietnam. But then she Do you got sick momentarily and then she was recasting you joy, the casting, I remember thinking they get all admit. You're a member met you I socially and you were very funny in real life, and I thought you and I'll probably have a lotta scenes together will be funny together, but they pretty much put up a fire. Obviously, as they really did in fact, If there's one scene is one thing that immediately pops out of my head of our first anymore can I get you haven't, as I have a specific on the boat. Yes, I was fixing ya. Think Ryan is immediately where my head goes when I think of Acting Rio is

Get some seeing. It was almost impossible to use. My heads under a fucking saint was totally item as eaved right. I'm no kind like sitting on the counter or something yeah you're, basically having seen with the neighbour in the TIM the to a man of his eyes. Like your evidence there I be I remember, being really fun, though, but because we hijacked at most you're right. It was conceived. One way and we just got mouse and tat, it was really, I think, maybe that's why they have not other airline there like well happen. Either of them is gonna say how things row. Why don't we spread them out a little apparently awards works together. I think I was just so like you know. Gilmore girls was every word every word as man and there's a beauty to that, and there is a real discipline and you know in a funny way after parenthood I was like. I really crave. The sort of theatrical language you know come arose and I got to do it again, but yeah. I was definitely

Oh you know they allowed some freedom and I really took every idea range and you hereby reliant on exactly a meter, But, yes, you are young workers, and that was your first really big break. I am done that what that was a very hard showing that, as you just said, that that the language is really really important, yet and dumb and also you're? The view word, the leader, the shows your hours were crazy, now shows are generally shot with three cameras. Yet not nearly as much time. Digital. We when we started Comer we shot on film, which takes a lot longer to light you up to till Knowed, you dont want a wasted, so you're not just gonna, leave the camera running and let people take for wrung his error because I'm parenthood, we d three camera shooting he would often do for takes within one yes reset yourself and keep going in. There was no expense to bat right out made our life supervising right where you live

to show where you're working, what fourteen hours a day working hours a day and then I did Broadway Musical and then I did when shall I promote the and then I did a couple it like. I didn't stop journey point, though, between Gilmore girls and parenthood. Were you I can only assume if you're like me by the end of yet more girls, you, I can't do it anymore. If somebody I work so long, I want something else and then a second that's gone. You like a boy was that my thing was that the one thing I have those few I just kind of kept barreling forward, and I'm sure I had all those fears, because I have every fear of every kind every day, because that becomes its own addiction in a way right. It's like that work, hard got it. In this in the skin, a real battle mode, and that's how you know look at worked for this many years. So that's what I stay in this mood and you no kind of barrel through, unlike the Broadway as extremely D ending in the same schedule. Unlike an end is amiss

call it a hundred and thirteen shows. Did we yeah? Well, that's too many wasn't you know it wasn't a hit, showed you don't have the energy behind it, you it's your! So that's even its own battle of like I'm gonna get in there and give it my best. But you know, and you dont know when it's going to end in Iraq because it Sir Business model- I didn't understand. So I was I. How long do we keep this going? efforts. You know your dies makes apricot the ethnically, and I remember I ran into named drop a lark. I had done an episode of Seinfeld, starting at eight. For her- that nets. Lesbians, gay men I ran into Jerry Seinfeld always so now and he had so many episodes. He has no reason to like remember his eyes like speed dial

I was mad, but I send it I'm just so exhausted and I dont, I can't figure it out and he said it's the audience. It's that energy of that relationship is the most wonderful energy anyone your worst night you're, giving so much and an absorbing staff. Whatever the connection is and you and it's the fuel- yes and and sometimes You'Re- you really not working on much fuel. But so I had only existed there and then and then I got parenthood and in the beginning I was frustrated by her. Oh but little you had yeah yeah. I involved something: that's a huge transition by the way for having to be the title character and a shelf and then can be a part of a non sambo is an adjustment. There are so many things I didn't expect about it, but I think the most scary one at first.

Was I had time many didn't. I had no experience almost since I was in high school or before then I mean I've. I jammed my summers full of jobs and camps and training, and but it was all in them in the name of career. It wasn't like good times. I didn't like backpack through, for a burning. You know that I had been driving this trains or so alone, Oda yeah. Did you have a person you're trying to be with their career path that you are like? That's who I wanna be He brought up Zander Ball, I mean honestly, that was the dream they and the very beginning. I was up for a couple of things that you know. I addition for, while you were sleeping, I would then

Think I came. Did you gotta closely guarded? By do now? I wanted to be Helen Hunter La Mcgovern, integrate I wanted like. I really wanted to do a half hour and undue kind of romantic comedies. I love. I love romantic colonies of the we know, good kind, so Eric and acts of some of their frustration. I think I just honestly did know what to do with myself. You know I got to this one day and Peter had moved it. Then, I was really happy and majority panky in your car. My brother, like known for a million years, you guys I've been on a day which I love. What are you No. You is on a day is our words Not here

I am on to play ball games as part of the well ok. So that's that's not even one as I receive, we had a couple near misses overlook a fifteen year period and we were in the same episode of Caroline in the city, and so we became friends and for various reasons. Over the years I was always Ike for one reason: other Isaac, oh she's, not interested or he's not ready, not dating materially he's, not whatever he invited me over to his apartment? You play aboard gusher, we're sexy, move and, and we did- and I was I am actually play doing Lord. I ran away now ongoing users is such east from such a like cards and game families. Elzevir Minnesota cannot underestimate the power of her eye, I was there, I don't wanna go out. I understand the anger rousing perfectly yeah. Everyone is kind as hell. Yes, January, smart earners yeah there on the other. And I have no

and I mean this in the meanwhile he's the sexiest man alive. But here I have nourish game and traditional way, because I didn't really didn't need one, but so do we played boardgame and then this by the way we think I'm a woman and a man invites me to play Borg as I want, I perceive as a day. I'm forty percent certainties, a serial killer. So yes do. You know that I am genuinely thought I mean I didn't think we're gonna go like make out or something, but I just thought he sort of. I thought it was like a oak, like come up and see my edgings new get out there and regional railways like so Rummy Gilbert. But God bless him. He generally wants to flip some of those, and then he threw as we were, leaving. He threw a foot all the while certainly only time, I've ever as zeal pilot I caught a perfect spiral is like those me everything about now away. I caught the

gall, and he said I think, I'm in love- and I said, let's go because I had already been like. I was like this is enough, bring with me so now when he did overtly flirt with me. I was this lake now at we enough. It was friends zone so anyway, So many of our conversations on parenthood we be discussing the our life shooting Michel yeah and Damn I remember you are going like, as this experience is not gonna, be topped far workload in the people we to be around daily and who were shooting shit with that crap service. That was like that was at ten, but I was bill in you're still in my other mo yeah an end, but by the way? By the end I became the person who would say to man miles you ever have this again. Don't you load, I missed and only limbs. I hire though it is that as a place where ambition goes to die happen. I had to make that transition. That's my question to you: is

How do you am? I happy Where I constantly I'm saying to myself so you at all these characteristics as a person that brought you to the dance. Ah but you're here in its, not necessarily that those characteristics are gonna, keep you at the bank. Is it's really hard when, when a certain personality style has reviewed the results, but that doesn't mean and it's gonna yield happened

It doesn't mean, as guinea yield a relationship at last. It does so sometimes you gotta, you got a kind of constantly have to pay that you now you. I think I think it's it. It is part of growing and growing up, which I think we're always doing is to lose the ideas you had about yourself, even if exactly you're saying even if they would have been successful. Sometimes there were hanging on to something that does not serve us anymore. I don't know how you identify that necessarily, but I think it is always bears another look, because I did get to a place where I would say, like God, I wish I had more to do on the shower. I I I feel ambitious and, like you know it's like, I am sitting on the bench. I want to play the game

a thing for sure, but once I kind of had that given to me, even though I didn't think I wanted it it, your force was forced to a slow down and be quiet, and you know that the first pages that I wrote that became my first book happened in a moment in our trailer. When I was done with work, it was noon. I knew who I was going home to live. There was no kind of, and I thought,

what what is the space? How would it would have waste kind of you know? That was my first thought and then I I I was reflecting on it, but who was per? I mean I've been therapy like it's not the first time I reflected on my life ever, but it was a different kind of of space young out of that space came new creative thoughts and any new pursuit wasn't born. Out of luck will now. I guess I should try to brand myself by as a writer Ino wasn't anything mercenary wasn't about career. I just had kind of thought, aye aye one. I've started telling a story, and it is this period of like by a guess reflection. Are you also evaluating your life outside of your?

identity as an actor. It effected everything. My my monster, which had been like over avow, became like slaughter, soda and, and also I thought. Maybe there is a way to an I'm talking about everything not just career. Can I have more ease in how I'm conducting my self and in the level of anxiety am experiencing all the time you know? Can I enjoy myself, you know, can I be here in it and it has to do with being in place. That was a happy place, but it is not entirely that it was just having some space to feel who I was and where I was, and it was one of those life moments. Words like hey. Is this still serving me? You know it s kind of like man, I gotta get to the next place. Now it's probably age somewhat, but it's also it's it's there's a kind of self care that maybe loops back to how we were or were not parenting. My first

there's an incredible person. He was in a great parent, but she was not a mommy in a traditional mommy way like I will go to other kids houses in their minds were like out. I would just fuelling ill there. So, like president, nor, like I felt like a k c and like an arrow wondering what we're doing and like I was like leaves, allow we're fine, and so you know that fit for who I was but, but I think it shook meets a long time to be like. Maybe I can just you know, Mommy this up a little bit more and unjust have more ease new using therapy, mostly at this moment, to help guide you through those I've been and therapies in college that has been enormously enormously help what I've never done. This exercise, but I am aware of the exercise were therapists will ask you to basically comfort the young version of whose I've right, like imagine the young when I was asked it if its once- and I was like see- ok, I cant do.

There has also been a do, is kind of like judge my acting while I'm just gonna be like how away and I want to go back right monologue like you know, you can't it's as you like perform. Why one time before it embraced twelve set program like I put a printout, a pitcher of myself as a baby and laminated and put it my want when I want to do ok! I would pull up the picture myself and think. Would you put cocaine in that little babies, noise and then, did. Anyone but lots ago came like a better idea of Europe for you. I tried it for a while now and then Bell discovered this, and then she started keeping it in her. Why does she want to say that baby, often when she was hating me, she would get that neighbouring I'll? Have you in person

yeah, but I think in general you know I I just thought I feel it. Things can be easier and more enjoyable and it's not cheating. I think I had tied up effort and an worry with I'm doing a good job and, and then, if I enjoy myself and something's easy, I programme point of effort into her eyes. I was like China separate. You know those two also part of being an actor there's only one other job like being an athlete where you're thinking about how you look all the time, you're thinking about where you're eating your thinking about, like your hair with his colleague, you're young, about so in terms of being all consuming its name. Ass the hours you're. Putting in on a stage it's like your constantly thinking about your self, your constantly being reminded where you stand yeah, it's it's the invitation, you get it's the table, you might get its Arthur

sending a car or not only on the trap, a like their meaning. These things are meaningless fate, but they can contribute to our sense of ourselves and our achievement and an that's. You know everybody probably has that at work in some way or another, but its perhaps more transparent. You know like our thing is just like the call stop or the things go away or they come back or they you know you're, just it's it's it's a work there's a tunnel uncertain, that's right, but the thing I really hope that conveys for certain. If you told me when I was seventeen that I would be on an embassy television show and people at the mall would recognize me. I am I at this seventeen Euro would assemble. Then I must feel great, like I'll, feel right cell raided and loved. In that, I would have never thought, while beyond that, he be shown I'll, probably be thinking about why I'm not in raw american sniper ripe and in fact as well.

Thinking when I get there, so I feel it is my duty to just break the fallacy that, like you'll, never feel like you ve got that level of whatever you're going for that you you actually end up having to make that decision. For yourself. That's right in this is a natural subway to plug the book I have coming. I had read the Red right when you remind me of it, because I I gave a graduation speech last year and then the publisher asked me to do kind of a graduation book. Like a advice, I

finally changed. The speech I gave em but along gated advise that is right and in an really what it comes down to an end can feel so tricky to say this in a way that doesn't sound. It's like it's a very lucky place to get to do what you want, but the real secret is getting to do. That does not change your sense of yourself, because I have many. We all have friends, you know who think if they had wax wisely or you know some- that success kind of gives you something and it really doesn't and in fact it concerns great you from your sense of yourself, because now, on top of everything you don't feel the way you thought you were gonna feel they are there in the way you're supposed to feel and the way everybody thinks you should feel and, like you know, how dare you complain?

from your house, but it is with forces you to to look within so many of us. You started these these storytelling artistic careers too fantasize about being somebody else at its core the day of work feeds you that the experience and is what you're saying about being on a set with somebody who's I, but why aren't you know, but the it is literally just the day and I have had happy days. As you know, a cocktail waitress in I've had a happy and I've had sad days as an actor, and I've felt better about you, Some of my work is a tutor than I have you not. I mean it's literally thy have zero memories of where episodes we did, how present or not present I am in those storylines I dont really. Now I can't tell you of your three: was big fray or your thought I dont know yet, but I have all. My memories are us making match? Yes right,

In a way we say we're not in the result. Business were in the shop and do work is night. To remind myself, that council everybody's areas on planet earth is the work part. It's not yet results part in any said, it's a game or it sir. It's a lie. There are many reasons to continue to try to sell the idea that this car this house, this show this job this my letter, this thing will then put you in the place you want to be, and once you get that its can be jarring, because you're really left with your left with who you are, who you love, and you know your effort. I think your intention, my intention is now I'm really invested in

in positivity into my work into the world and that's very flowery and also very simple. Why, like desire, I liked ask people what gives you self esteem does that, ultimately, that is at the core of all this. What is your list of things that make you generally content, or let yourself one is continuing to learn something new. You know I got a shot as a writer. I wanted to learn more and do better and and continue to grow. So some of those opportunities have come to me and some have created one of the things I'm I'm proud of in terms of no more girls or parenthood really is, is you know, lifting up young people, females openly ass, a dealer Gmail Gerhard yeah an end? I have always welcome issues as a six too So am I Did so unfair. I have them.

Most advantage. Anyone could possibly have in this country, and I think I still don't like myself. Oh, I know what I think everybody struggles are really do. I dont know that many people who don't doubt themselves on other people who are completely satisfied. I don't think it's the human condition. You know, I don't think it ass, you do it again. The were living in a world where no

third, Instagram or although there are so many ways to feel bad about yourself, thou many ways to put a life out there that isn't real curate. Yes, I think I'm coming back around to kind of mom issue away and and and really looking into that, a little bit more, but in terms of what an end and kind of so to answer your question, one is positivity and the other is kind of giving something away. I think at best you know there is a purpose to you know this. That is not about us and that I would bet was as important a piece of of becoming an actor as anything which is a real desire to tell a healing story for ourselves, but for people for people. First of all, the world fills crazy right now, and I think it is linked

Am I to the number of those room sound like two hundred years old, but to the number of shows and movies that are really really harsh and and violent and dark? I dont know what came Ferdy Anti hero moved so much this Tokyo, it's too much, and then, when I go to look for something to watch, you know with fewer with his son or you note there. The choices are one more harrowing than the next and an eye. That's I don't think that's helping us enough. Meanwhile, we sat as a family and watched every episode of queer. I and it's the most hopeful, you love a hind now Europe has itching to me. I think,

every time I run into you, you'll bring? That's not true. We just last did this. We have accordingly takes you know. I just came out the new one Boca when Roger runway. Yes, you can see where I had known that I like so I like several people, my game now, I've miles yes, but I'm telling you one of the reasons we all loved. It is its happy. Its hopeful is it's it's it's! What you want in in life, instead of continually by affirming knew now. Do you think it's possible, though, that there is a waiter to read all that has been positive, ultimately, which is if life is pretty darn? across the country, then what is lacking in your life and what you want to see is kind of you weird gnarly, underbelly, no bad antsy euro stuff that it's actually the thing that's missing, whereas I now see that there is a trend where there's more happy stuff, coming now is, I think, is almost a comment on the fact that people generally are feeling pessimistic about.

Life in American. Now we're looking for more wish fulfilment, re other direction. I mean I don't that's my positive spin on it, but the thing it's kind of you, everyone's poor than than a story like Willie Wonka, a little kid winning this thing, ass, very appealing grain, as everyone's wish, would everyone's like kind of fat. On the farm than you. Aren't you seize on model dangers in space. I don't know it's me, the fonts lake ruined everything you know, and perhaps you as a sense,

cannot connect to confront, can no longer rising honestly. Why? I really Emmi MRS this goes into my like deep conspiracy theories, but I just feel we don't have the sensitivity we did. This is not a new theory, obviously, but as a result of this incredible information, bad bad news dump yeah that you can every day people are, are really in an attack him, that's swell and ass. I am speaking like psychologically. Those are loaded, there's a lot of things in the market. Is that we, as ultimately primates whose evolution kind of stopped awhile ago were not equipped for so sugar we're just not equipped for that do not need any sugar. I know about, but I had a bad run away. I'm a newly back tonight I mean sugar. Since what are you there other dietary weaken our now. It's so annoying. If I,

but I'm gonna, answer inflammation night from arthritis and is basically it's no eggs. No dairy! No gluten no I mean- is Turkey, lamb and bison because of your blood type or what is that I won't even try to defend the signs are going. I went to our evaded clan. They told me to eat ass. I tried it. It actually worked when I do follow that I admire authorities is nonexistent when I cheat, which is regularly yet, if there's up as outsourcing whatever yet so so also the day they put people up to a brain monitoring devices and watch them, use a slot machine right, so you get a reward right dump rights for which is what you would get when you found fruit in the passage in your wandering through the jungle. Likewise, this device is just triggering our pleasure. It's giving us like a now, a little dopamine damp and how on earth could we resist that? We are here this is like finding a fuckin apple. Every two feet you walking. I would so yeah, there's some stuff that we're just

actually vulnerable too, and I think you had this phone is one of them, but you know, I'm sure you have a version of this with two little girls, but to see you know, the kids Augustine says it really has changed, they interact or don't You mean, like you, I hate it in another. Part of me is like ok, so we're moving into a world which is a high and automation, and I knew you, five percent of people are going to be unemployed and so were right. Training them to live their life through this technology, which is probably what their lives will be. At some point, I have become my father and that growing up he was like microwave There are bad for you, viziers watch, more tv and my guy dad why I won't much more on this matter. And then like now, I'm like we're not having one those boxes. That's Turning to you and the house, like, I don't turn my phone on until, like I shut it off at a certain time. I turn out. You know, I don't keep it on

fighting daily, more more stuff makes zero sense to me. Yet I sign on getting older writer. Things are starting to. I feel the way people felt about the Beatles in the sixty parents and I got well there. It is yes, I guess every move was gonna come eventually yeah and, although Pearson listens to a lot of good news, yeah like them. You re list them back yeah. My kids already like Paul, announced they love channels in their babies yeah. Well, I listen learn I love you, some might not be so glad that you came in and I'm really as I do your joining the pod cas permanently. As you declare yet obloquy I'll, bring you legs tax or something yeah great and down. Next semi, don't bring your own coffee and I can make you want, ok, which would be a great, offering on my part, allow you I would feel it would raise myself esteem. I lied for you, I know what do I get a mug thou yeah you can have a man like you tonight or are you as regards riding scale, did accept

Call your eye, your guy, your countering we'll will see what we can get for this, but I love you. Thanks for coming I'm ok do again. I work as meaning that I got a I talk to you. We will stage and if you'd like to hear my good friend and producer Monica Admin point out the many errors in the ass you just Monica bad men factor, time. Forlorn Graham did we make any blunders yeah, you sure, to justify a long couldn't remember, Japs name on the show flipping out and his name's Jeff Louis Jeff, Louis National treasure. Yes, the we also talked about Chaz Dean. We tackled for sure and line on the topic of chess demons hard to get off. Yes, I have recalled that he was wearing two of something in his billboard and it is too vast, though I actually think it's probably

One vast upon closer examination that handling, but it looks like to address the one vast is made to look like a vast on top of a bad most on both robust looks crazy. Our campaign, although we would love to have Chaz being only my when, when it's a great product, I have used, before and I did like it and we d like it when people were to vests yeah. If our last the better here, I think you need to take just a second to apologize to kneel lane. Ok, maybe he's huge he's Hugh you kind of made it sound like he's just like that jeweller who ended! I well listen I'll! Tell you why? I'm not you know the college's kneeling, because in I'm not going to tell the whole story, because I dont want to be liable for anything suffice to say when I had bought an engagement ring for Kristen. I was gonna, then wait a couple months to give it to her and

and somehow this story hit the tabloids that I bought an engagement ring. I'm not gonna, say anything, I'm just gonna say I'm not gonna Poligized kind, accusing over many thing efficiently, but I'm just saying that there will not be forthcoming. Apology from me: ok, ok, interesting yeah give it our full right now, very like sir, it ties cold tat hum, but endless rock. Like anything about me, I ain't, even though you putting on hearing about an hour. We know he's actually a nice guy he's a nice guy. I want to say that yeah he's on the but he's the jeweler of the bachelor. So I like him to and really I think, he's just involved with Kate jewellers and I think he's like the face of Cato and you're, not gonna walk into a mall in Minneapolis step in a cage,

to learn find work. The desk there. No, I think it's like one Vero Wang has a hazard collection of that costs are ok, Mom is solely a target lick. Yes, exactly of him in using the cage rulers theme song- and you said, every wish- begins with Kay in its every kiss begins her good distinction made every case, because in which case you know what it's not until this very moment that I realize why we say that because the word kiss begins with a letter. I never made that funny imagined you haven't either now I've always been like what an arrogant statement every kiss begins with king. No, it doesn't

are literally correct. They thought it through every kiss begins with a letter K. So you guys both talk about speaking in tongues, has also caused a colossal laelia. That's the real close, the glass. So why are we here? This is not a good term. Is it that real? No, but now Laelia is absolutely below? Is a glass away? We also laelia glass. So layaway, your brain, as is always on me. It really is so is speaking in tongues is a new testament phenomena where a person speaks in a language that is unknown to him previously for her correct thing. There is such a mess. I was glad I'm here to represent females mental powers, the Lord docking three mental possession, apparition, yes archives and heavenly being miss speaking through

it's weird that they are heavenly, so I assume their powers are nearly unlimited. Yet they can't speak English, which most people can learn and a pinch yo care it at the end of their share. Phyllis, being that say, you said he, you think God doesn't speak English She went one eye Tipp has had to whom he liked the mouse augur by Finally, he will be speaking Hebrew if he was speaking a language God of the old test be away the abbot. That's the gather speaks and tongs yeah yeah, that's the same God yeah! Ok, so you apparently speaking a neighbor. I hope we don't get a fat war or something now it is the EU dissuaded waited us out into some very treacherous warm excited Disney. What happens this

just then Monica pavements, as God speaks Hebrew. Well, I'm willing to defend them. If they come back to me, you in talking about fact, checks and all the data that you spell out news The distance between here and the sun is ninety three million miles, which is also known as one astronomical unit. One are you in the moon, you said is a hundred and eighty thousand miles unless positive about that claim. Yeah you're wrong about that looks. Thou is two hundred and thirty, eight thousand nine hundred, oh yeah, that's great. One? Eighty two to thirty, I can let you yeah. I mean they expected to be off by a factor of ten, almost we'll just committed to memory. Next time you say it

what, but I can imagine that that that must either be an average that you read, because obviously it's a different distances now, maybe it's not will the shirt the earth is not perfectly spherical. Ah forget who knows, I feel, like there's gotta, be times words further and closer, maybe having not by that big, a desk, although baby girls, universes beg two hundred and thirty, eight thousand nine hundred or car. You don't look. What's the difference,

I said one. Eighty six you're saying to the release of news for individuals it is about to her. Those miles will know, is vague wording of vessel pointed this out like ok, oh, this is really interesting. So the aptitude test that her dad took. I looked into this out if you take this exact same one bright, but there is an aptitude test called de L, a bee defence language aptitude battery tests, it's a military test to measure ones, aptitude to learn a foreign language. It consists of a hundred and twenty six multiple choice, questions, and then there are the different categories of category. One is dutch, french, italian, portuguese and spanish category two as German, only which category three is checked. Greek Hebrew. Persian polish, russian, slavic high turkish Ukrainian Bello Russian, an Vietnamese smooth out the one you want a crash,

when he heard so he could go anywhere and then the fourth one is arabic, chinese, japanese and korean. I think that's the modest one. I don't know, that's your again we're back in his heart deep exaggerated shark invested waters, but you you place you get different number. Did you take this task now? I want to hear your answer. Was a nine owning it sera, I'm so battling I'll, be, would to a half of what a real nonreligious hurry to cheat at Spanish as you're through an ideology cheap it. I didn't like it I love spanish but anyway, so we'll all be. You know you score a number for each category, four, the military. If they're like sending you somewhere, they look at your numbers. If you ve made a certain number on a certain thing, you you like qualified were able to go anyway. Cool yeah owes me so I looked on a world map to see how she could have gone from Japan.

The United States, while also going through russia- oh yeah, those bizarre rather make sound. It doesn't make any sense, its very close to Russia, but it would be good, The wrong. That's, like our real junkie internet deal on a flight. It's like here, you can go for foreign Miller's cheaper, but you gotta, connect through Moscow opposite direction and then ok, see you asked of her. Mom did a course in miracles course of me is, of course, on a course of mere it is. My father was ended. This earth people who were an aim Michigan in the nineties, seemed a really also, like course, of miracles. I think its course in I think you said course of miracles. A knife corrected it, but now I'm wondering if I'm wrong, but I think I'm right so coarse in miracles, also known as the course Miss big night was a big book and nineteen. Seventy six, those like a self study curriculum in letters right, beards,

transformation right? That's on your dad liked, your loved it they were in the now. I believe in the other. Charm around his neck. Nicholas. In the end, it was a clock and its belt. Now one would wear were twelve would be, was an end or six was a w and there were nine was a was an and were three was a w sweetie whether you read up to down and said now right said now YA base allow walk locks. Do that said now. It is course America's edges double check. Ok, great! Thank you for pointing that out. Some wants to take on the Corfu name. I won't tell you ok, so you said cable came out when you were a kid Technically, cable tv came out. Nineteen forty eight and you were a kid you're right. He agrees in Burma is correct,

the murders laying decades it was used pretty much exclusively for just existing broadcasts network systems that Congress receive Airways, saw oh yeah, but then that is pretty much the spirit that real you're thinking of like empty be an original programme that started in the seventies ochre, the first, I remember coming. I was on tv and tv and may broadcast over the airwaves ANA. What became of the fox affiliate? They became VD eight o clock at scrambled, and if you have this converter, the on tv converter, it turn that scrambled signal into a movie. That's claw, you brought it the Alex Andor technique. Yet again, you bring this up alive and I've been meaning to crack you for a long time, because you said

they Kristen we breathe and breathe, and if you must now doing Alexander endorse what suits yeah early in the morning in college and I've been seeing. Took all of this because I was also a theatre. Major in school only around one gonna end. We also learned values, editing the Glen. Never remember breathing in anyone's MAO, so I looked it up. I can remember sorry, schooling, but yeah. Note it the argument make us like a physical, not breathing in your mouth. Russian wadding revaluing really means Ozma. Yes, it's how to avoid, and now it's how to avoid muscular tension while performing in physics in the physical space, so so in the future in the future. I do I do want you to correct me now. I know you want to learn from this experience, but when I

fantasy, ok, that's clearly just a fantasy about young coeds breathing each other's miles wearing sweat suits early in the morning. You know a hormones at a ten when I a fantasy like that you're, not I'll, be me by by destroying this is. This is a unicorn that I want to believe, and I am sorry, but I have to think The latest so often talk about the egg Alex louder than I would have been much business apply driven to the Israelites sixty year old divorce, men now taking Alexander looming that they're gonna, get to breathe in someone's miles is exactly why we can let this happen sued by some divorce say who took many corps didn't once breathe and another. I'm really sorry too sir, I hear vanity earnestly you can come up with more. I think I believe in you to do that you said. Elsie Hinton was fourteen when sure at the outsiders and she may have been when she was reassured it, but it was published when she was seventeen.

Our guy Susan, Hollow log awesome has never tried it was she stood for now When I was younger, I did, but I certainly don't now. I follow her on Twitter in in. I want, went to follow her. It said follow back or its head, follows you and I almost there back flip Missy, really introduce meter reading to loving, to read those books about young men fighting and falling in love of tax against all no, no that's a different movie The text the outsiders rumble fish, stand by me. No, that's US thieving anyway, she's a great young

she's here why young adults, yeah yeah female you made kind of like a grumpy noise when, when Lauren said that she was in a cool archipelago group, vulgar and there are cool archipelago observes night. Yes, as there are have you seen pitch perfect the film you know, but I am so happy for everyone involved as its wildly successful Elizabeth Banks is cool and their good movies and the archipelago groups. Some of them are cool, okay and give Hella group at Barnard, which she went to, I think is called but Conti Let's, what's really quick for effort for the sake of this argument, establish some kind of metric for cool now, but you you're gonna have to do it for females and I'm gonna. Do it for guys of course, as a young person that metric has to be success with the opposite sex. I'm sorry

and what I would argue that never in the history of this world that someone come up to a lady at a bar and say I am a member of the whooping cops or whatever the hack it is Wolf employ you're wrong. Every now and then that person said who tell me more. Are that's not tread. That's not true Boca after the females their hit me. That's the female would agree with that, so that we does happen you're saying if there are females, that they learn, that the guy is in a choir, an entirely negative eyes, the closest dark room to make us, oh my god, that will happen cadmium during one to this, at a have, you ever been to an archipelago answer. Have you ever? No? No! I have ok, ok! I don't want to. Interrupted. Tell me as very core and it's very impressive,

and we see women are attracted to men in their element. That's that's true. I would agree with us so that we can we can we just again that you can, That's it that's the metric of cool cannot being of the weird me. That's attending the events. That's not helpful to us. That's like saying you know the guys who loved, genes and dragons are super cool. And they're getting late old time, because at a dungeons and dragons conference in a Rina somewhere there's a lot of four candidate. I did not know that. I'm a knock em hamper hopes at certain schools are so they Cromwell known, yeah, there's a big part of the school and people attend that are in like corresponding archipelagos, I was an unoccupied Reuben. I ended up a two or three of those are getting a narrower hot for many of the male performer yeah. That was hot, ok, nor are they doing.

Temporary Rachel guys forget the muscle car and start working on your libretto vibrio for bread. Oh, what is it about the broader the broader intimidated, as I can say near, or does it do you feel threatened by this because you do you have spent so much time. Try and get your merit. Your lan do the opposite. Yes, by masculine standards, yeah well, you know truth be told. I think, inasmuch as I'd like to think that almost cs, derived from my arrival on a motorcycle. I'm the more objective I do, myself knows it was probably been able to make some laugh yeah. So, despite the big Zoe I admit that you know I'm saying, there's the version. I think I would like people to be attracted to, but that's prowling not with their attracted to me, You don't care than a missing, allow a nun! Ryan, yes, but I'm not trying to tracked other manned by the way you like you do want

Maybe it was in general. I think we could say I like the floor with every human on planet. Also yeah. I don't exclude any gender great, so you said- and you just said it again then Harvard has an archipelago called though whipping ass. I have no ideals why you think? Well, now that you said it I realize whooping cough is a bad disorder. Tuberculosis. Oh yes, I out his my lawyer, Jamie Feldman, whose in brothers justice which you saw he is a proud member of the whooping cough. I've heard what you said. A harbor excited some research into Harvard groups on other. I want to and I am worried that our female listeners went our getting so agitated downstairs with all this talk about. These are compatible singers. United,

either you're worried, because now that I know how hot they are courting view in this new metric concern that our female listeners are having to pull over on the side of the road. Or find their vote for them, look if I could give that give to anyone. I would be grateful if this is a victory. Ok yells archipelago is, though, with improves, hung. Khakis. Only confuse with Harvard Harvard has many, not the whooping cough and they have for tee of progress. I can't bear to listen all for it. I'm gonna, no, no you're, not know you drive me or my favorite, for he bore HANS Drive. If you read fourteen archipelago groups, I got other things. Opa vulgar the car backs the cliff note of female the din and tonics fallen angels Glee Club light. He teaches the crocodile LEO's all the low key

is the opportunity, the Radcliffe pitches under construction and very tones logs gas and Shawnee. That's how you pronounce it. That's the jewish affiliated I'm going to be walking down the street one day and someone from the whooping cough is going to come. Just help me in the nose they're going to coldcock me for talking so disparaging about the beast.

Observing and all deserve that you are still calling it. The whooping gas, ok mix back next back, we got really bogged down and you said that ten percent of the additions you went on required dancing to no music dealing used, hen, personalities they wasn't. There was only one percent, Riah probably can boy. One percent dancing feels like fifty percent because it so uncomfortable Lauren did a hundred and thirteen shows on Broadway, as you said, but they also did twenty eight previews, that's twenty eight additional shows one for the one for deserve a: U S, argument therapy and that the kind of therapy I have to talk to your young herself and that's called ac t acceptance in It meant there be ah said the OECD that it's a part of behaviour of their beds, section of that in any Alexander technique in peril, breathe anything about when you're on your own malady beavers

never use mouth. Oh, you are talking about the reward dump their happens with devices. The like being a sea models that are devices are based off, so I just wanted to send people to Tristan Harris who is the guy Oh, yes, he made the rounds yeah and he's he's hot on this topic and very interesting because he worked at Google and he knows a lot about this. Ethics in triggering your reward centre in your brain with your computer, you said: ninety five percent of people are going to be unemployed under a I and automation, and I really looked, and I couldn't find ninety four ninety five percent, as the number I term up, evolve her eyes but yeah yeah. I always appreciated when you pronounces named

I can't do it. So thank you for her. I say oval and I don't even try you ve. I believe you are you're Harare, but he he has a lot to say on this. He was unsafe Harris ends, but I don't think he says. Ninety five percent quota does say that it's gonna pay a lot of jobs where many, although not actors, probably not actors, what are they replace? Pod castles in the air was literally to robots talk to each other Do you imagine that a thank you so much and also again, just a quick reminder to sprint out to Amazon that come to buy Laurens New Book in your car- driver the closest Amazon and

I her new book, which is called Monica in conclusion? Don't worry about it! In conclusion, don't worry.