Something’s Burning uncut is the uncut audio from my cooking show “Something’s Burning” on YouTube.
On this Christmas edition of somethings burning that originally aired Dec 24th 2018, I invite Gareth Reynolds and Sam Tripoli to make eggnog and soyrizo waffles. The recipes were a little more complicated than what I had hoped for, but like every episode, it ends up turning out surprisingly delicious.
The Berty Boy Tour is on sale now! Get your tickets at www.bertbertbert.com
For all TOUR DATE & MERCH click HERE: www.bertbertbert.com
Twitter: www.Twitter.com/bertkreischer
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/BertKreischer
Instagram: www.Instagram.com/bertkreischer
Youtube: www.Youtube.com/user/Akreischer
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey guys brand new something's burning, the Bertie boy. World tour is on tour right now. I think right now, I'm in Boston then headed to foxwoods and then go to portland maine next week, wilkes barre, schenectady new york at the beacon two shows washington, D c. Dark constitutional two shows there. This is the uncut audio for my ah cooking, show something's burning. If you don't know that already. I appreciate that so many guys. Listen! This up, I checked the numbers for the first time and I was like wow can't believe this made people listen to this may give it it's own rss feed, which means a different channel and then start doing advertising on it. You're right now, you're going hebert just get through this reading and start the fucking show. Google. Today's episode is with SAM tripoli and Gareth. Reynolds Gareth is one half of the very successful podcast the dollop, which I will be on an episode of in I think, like three weeks and SAM tripoli has the tinfoil hat podcast I've known sam tripoli. Since a while, since I moved to los angeles who's, one of the first people that showed me a very important lesson that I've carried with me based on SAM Tripoli, and that is you don't have to be bitter and jealous. You can just be nice. We were doing a show together and SAM Tripoli said to me. I'm sure I'd talk about this in the podcast. He said: hey man, I think you're hilarious. Are you going to do that cop joke where you touch their faces and I was like yeah yeah? I am and it's like dude, it's such a great joke. I love it man. I can't wait to see it and I was like okay and then in my head for a second I was like. I wonder if this guy's funny he went on and ripped the mike beyond what I was capable of. He had a joke about playing basketball at the Y m c, a with women that I'm saying had me crying fucking laughing, crying laughing gareth. I was introduced to later through all things comedy like I said, one half of the dal dollop one of the funniest. If you listen to the dollop, you know he is one of the funniest fucking quickest, most brilliant dudes around. He also had a show on the travel channel that don't have anyone knows this and it was called it was gareth and Gareth and someone travel the world and it was so much better than any of the shows. I had done that all I hoped was that it would get picked up and they would do tons more episodes that much so that my shows could get better and anyway without further ado. Ladies and gentlemen, something's burning uncut same triply and Gareth reynolds. I used to joke about a ghost I'll fuck. I was the joke. I was always working on, but never really worked well cause. I guess you didn't have to know a lot about gotten a lot about ghosts, but as I watching ghost adventures or friends, mine ghosts are so progressive. Like oh, you know that I'm anti hunters how come they're like why are there so many yeah? I gave it to you for listen to that constant away. My very benjamin franklin know that electricity charging yeah. Why is that
woman's. Oh yeah she's going to work. You know I feel goes to say the you could see it. It's unlocked really heaving over you, letting her carry a briefcase. Oh,
merry christmas. Everybody
It's something vernon christmases, asian and within a day, SAM Tripoli, gara reynolds the doll
up naughty. Show
for simple there. We go re letter, read it SAM!
I sam SAM, is one of the first people I ever met nellie, that's terrible! Yet no dude
I'm not I'm fucked around when I say is taught me the greatest lesson. I've carried with me to this day that has served me better than any
then I learned in this business. Sam came out. We were,
two in the national at me ass. They may you burns. Yeah me tests. Member tat.
O'Brien holtzman. Well, I think he was in the later one gentleman I didn't know anyone and you know how you get little. I was like a morbid new york comic and I got like defensive and kind of, not
How can anyone in trouble just water?
do you know me
my buddy love that joke about touching cops faces. Are you doing that tonight and I was like what he was dude you're fucking super hilarious like I'm sam? Can you all he wasn't friendly and I went oh so you don't have to be stand offish and like judge he you can be a nice person yeah and I was like yeah I'm doing it he's like. Oh that's great, oh hey, hope you like my statement.
especially later when I was like who the fuck is this. I was like he's being nice to me, and so I had. We had a great time and I've known him ever since I met henri that way.
Already in the cotonou, we was by no, he was, and I thought, if I had it was like. I attributed this to me.
yeah? I'm done I'm going to see if it works. He just got diarrhea joke about touching the cops face. Yeah you do that tonight, the euro area october. To him I saw the amazing racist, I think you're fucking hilarious, my name's burt who's like
I'm always you for who you are, or it was like two guys coming out to each other steam room. We are yeah. We are toddlers, don't like him when we can be competitive, you know gunslingers and we won't be the fastest gun to to this day I swear to god the line I had the line. I wish I had my act. The line that killed me, the most was
She goes up for a rebound at iran too. To this day. I know that bit to me, can you do that bit for me, while I did the joke on the late late show with Craig kilborn, do you remember that launching these new one yeah great show I love craig woods and who is still donate
After all, the big goes both the ball at some point. If you miss enough shots, black guy stops passing you the barbara, the shooting and there's always a girl playing areas like she's, really good, but nobody plays any diana down the lane. The message yeah didn't appear on the late late show. Can you come back next week by literally use all the clean material of the abuser and he got fired after that? It's very interesting. You know about being nice people, that's how I met Tom segura
Tom and I were in the same aim, broad
he was sold to the great John thompson has already done in someone s over a period of job belushi. I knew that they are trying to make egg
I guys we're gonna make make are rest of the story about cigarette down a reason like oh offals,
what are you vegan, vegetarian yeah? Really, that's why I drink the shit out of this eggnog number and go where the eggs were. You is their fight over into your rules. Yes, I'll I'll join
any me:
I won't eat anything, but I will drink any me. That's the delivery of aid or making actual ignored, but the other
I'll? Take a hammond gin. If we add to this, doesn't this doesn't? Do you don't feel no longer for now? I'll just doesn't did know, that's how you make.
God I would not put it in the frying pan. I yeah you really do that's what I'm saying why you just scramble the eggs of the known, really good, marry Harry new hero, whisk, the eggs
so really get your area, but we're than we wish you a merry christmas, sam,
If I felt that the tonight we wouldn't tell that
After that we know that you're strong risk with showing us the rest of the brow then put those egg yolks. We want the yolks yolks. So this is a this. Is the baby batter yeah yeah? Here we want secure murder, dude, hey, murdering children, be birds. Now I'm like planned parenthood, I'm gonna pay gareth accomplish
thing is in that the dollop was the first podcast.
that turned off now,
Yeah, that's quite a compliment. Thank you! That's the first one I turned up and I was like I don't like this morning: radio, that's what I like about the towns. Oh, I got obsessed with
the can get em. I can get them do agnes,
lashes murder shut up sam with making is weird I mean look it's
You got some may there. We go get separated finally got enough, other stuff milk in it. But you know
I don't appreciate an arm chair or separate one cup, heavy whipping create every. What tell me what have you grieve
yeah samuel you? The feels the same way to those that asked sam to use, alrighty he'll, give you some love and bath
Look here impress do away with the other groups. May one three ladys sugar.
Is there a whole world of whipping cream everything, but that there are people who just a skin
sanctions dedicated to whipping pre sat right.
you haven't on others. I'm never thought about like some right, a dedicated to people.
Who understand the texture of whipping greek
may I ask you this. I got a little weird spot in the. U s not well now come
this weird spot, adding here what
you know, there's a little weird bit in us every now and then like one out of six. You get like a little language form, but is now to know now should actually had not sure how many have, but it must not be the first miss. So
to have them in another egbert where they say
I gotta break. A few extra may make an egg subjects breaks
it makes them economics or somethin like that. When did you once the first time you did this? What this morning and affects practicing day in anticipation? Would you give teaching
what germany did. You fought lose one in there I lost we lost one but see that's kinda, the one spot lucky that he does it flawless, which
What's your deal, are you pinning us against each other or of ooh wow sam? So who do you think will win in a fight our favorite murder?
The dark dieting right now we whisk these, then here's my whisker
how to get it. What was your? What was your cigar history? Is it just that good? I just got them into you. Want in cigars eat a pie, yeah yeah yeah like oh, my god,
Can we find a woman to help me fix my life and my career.
The facts show the naughty shows the first podcast that I ever do you remember where we met we make. We met
I saw you at the comedy store one night when I was there at birth and then I facebook you- and I was always
yes rose. Bernie throws burn a cover story. I saw SAM and I just I just messages like duplicate hilarious than he was
like dude. I love that cop touch on the facebook. You do, and I was like that before bots, but I thought it was a bond and then I'm doing raw egg all over everything. That is good. Do you suppose? That means it's good
and then I saw you
audition for burns shop, where we neither of us gotta, I'm still waiting to hear? Ok, we drive for this same role. Maybe he's the one school are got here:
rigour, but then I remember I saw you at a weird commerce.
I'll shoot where they were like hey we're behind schedule. We don't need you guys for ten hours and we both whatsoever that our and we made up every fifteen minutes to be like this is bullshit. I do they really were. The first internet heads were therefore like spry it
for serious,
the sierra myth, which is like poor people. Sprite is what they serve on delta. When I don't drink it's all I drink or another serum is pleased that you've had for the others cos. I don't mean cut like a really sad yeah yeahs and like the queen, yeah, the royal cunt, I mean so
we down there, they told us to get there at eight in the morning, where's your manager, the same manager. We had the same manager when I think that, actually what happened was someone bailed on their shit and they just like called me randomly I'm, not I don't. I don't think we're going to show up and it says so weird, like kind of like street guy thing, and we show up to meet us at this parking lot, which is a good start. I mentioned the parking lot. The parking lot frequently nonunion, yeah I'd, say we're wag anyway, yeah contract. There's no paperwork. I dunno there's no paperwork blood. On your hand, you gotta shake this guy that fell. So we are. We show up.
and they're like okay, we're going to see this one thing you can wait here and like we're holding all day urban you guys are holiday. We'd know guys is going to take eight hour naps in your car. Why did you get here so early? That's our question
I also think it so,
I have a parking lot for ten, but this one was a. This was a month and a half and the I mean this is fucking eight years
It was a no deal. The internet was even close as well. Well, we boosted the internet with this syndrome is branded content. Then they'd call us now my where's that guy where's that dude ring that bell.
one thousand dollars yeah down which, by the way I just found out, was in belgium money. Alright, I'm not playing your games. I opened his era k and it was full of piss. What kind of show are you running here? Wang
high representative is down here, just forgot his face ally japan's seriously, but it my card any little flip juvenile ass, well,
It's come to! That is that someone else is so now your mic. By the way I wish I could listen to the story, I'm so overwhelmed by this. So bad, it looks like I just read. The last line it says for a picture is a picture of a chill in the fridge for three hours. You gotta chill for three hours,
or choose your own adventure gaga. The popular robot. Tell me you have eggnog is a canister of their wages,
now the boiling point, the room here- don't fucking midnight. I will do it right.
I don't know if I got the eggnog simmering yet sign.
That's a good sign!
I miss read this away.
What did you do wrong to unlock the great answer? All of it too? Okay, I'm going to need a bigger bowl. I'm gonna need a bigger bolo. I'm gonna need a bigger bowl. Let's see here we go right, they should do
yeah, just a bigger ball than babble worth where's. The scooby thing I'm
Michelin, rated chef where's. The scooping, though this will do. This will do
That's what you want to go and ask you everything right:
he'll do scooby people the same. What is wrong with you? It is a well beta. San LAN believes they cheese comes from eggs, he was not raised on a farm is actually shun farm and farmers are one of his hands. What's our local girl regarding what break free from the elder and those like myself, though it woe it's hot,
I piss off or I go yeah. He goes or calm body temperature, but you like your liking, milk. He knew gallons of milk out of my mouth, but yeah, hey, guys, like fuck yeah,
Read that dog yeah, you guys said we wouldn't get the business y'all are haters were opposite in it. For him, this is the most complicated
Fucking rest, why did you just pour it in there? So you got a temperate. So that means you don't want to get a ten percent. You don't want to break the egg.
break the egg noticed this could cause the egg tat kind of like keep mixing it.
It cooks is just integrates share to get super slow. This is why
give em reminiscing and our nocturnal emissions conversation
go going good. It's didn't break that same year, sober, but you can drink. Edna
that's the one thing you liar says like there now, in some cocaine were good day a power tat. We re in fact about no say knows not dogma. One. Some Nicky glaser was saying that she had she had a computer with a computer. She doesn't rank yeah.
It's like when I was all sudden. It was like buzz like one beer buzz and I was like there's alcohol in kombucha. She was like django, my daughters have one every night before bed.
oh yeah, oh my god, I'm turning them into alcohol or come home. His shirts are all they have had a little less lip that give me another strawberry butch. I didn't order the attitude here we go there we go. This is this is perfect,
like the past excited man does not knowing I got,
one area where a couple
Embarrassing help don't lose, but will slip off we're not spitting in the economic effects of yours jobs, girls burden it make it out then take its an oath.
It has now become an o, ignored or take this unjust.
Status that were? You know, you're doing away with the crew of the camera? Those when, when
Rachel does sped, take its we're on that
on track it? Wouldn't let the direction set pour into pitcher cut to the picture? Will quickly be? Could someone fuck
I filled it up with egg whites and one of you guys want to rinse out the pizza. Absolutely do something. Let me do something. I don't trust you. I just poured out:
Well, no, no sam! You throw it in the air in god's hands. I'll take it. You worry baby! Oh, it was just maybe what I'm not smelling. This is
mademoiselle dashed guy brickwork public space like rosebud
It is time to ensure that this above,
It smells like a ninety three honda accord. Guy saw was it okay if you had to put one air freshener tree in your car, what is what was your favorite smell growing up
to my favorite smell, like you're, like you know, have regular tropical
oil, a pinnacle, lotta, yeah right, you guys, I was in there really sam did we do you eating a bunch of those one time here, like I mean the painter reflex, openness! No! No! No same just use this hailing words here. As I do that right
I think I've already dishes. What do I look like a grown up?
This interim show loss
I'm new remain show the twenty seventh. You should do it, I'm not going to tell him the twenty seventh fully available earn my they have got there
but bring em for another one? For jobs
hey decided for the dollar for real, well
I filled in a couple times on Dave's other show.
Legally, you can talk about illegally
it's the most. I can say about it and and then I met dave on sams on the show with sam. The naughty show by the way I was talking about, was told that Michael winslow story the other day and ever Michael winslow story. While said
and what it is pretty good, but then so so then dave and I were doing that- show a couple of times and then the next time I went to his house, he was just like we're going to do a different one and he was going to like rotate
Yes, he had on and then we start
talk about clearing, Bundy or clive and Bundy the guy who in texas like had a bunch of
cattle grazing- really, you may want to back up the organised and words I leave. The general area are treated like a nuclear bomb squad. Mary go go
It's eggnog right. There, boys do hats ignites. It seemed a little thinner than what I reckon remember well, thickens up.
smell like visited all of it.
Oh no! No! No! No! It kind of smells like a hearty gravy broad and it kind of smells like some type of someone yeah. If you were going to like old country buffet and you just got like biscuits and gravy and eggs- and you blended it and that's what that's what I drifted off towards.
Me too. So we're going to get back to how you got on the dollar. So then I did the first episode with Dave and we were laughing and then I just then, after that we just kept doing it. Where I was just the guy and it was unlikely then it just emerged.
Quickly that I didn't know anything about history and that's how the fact that I go and call not knowing what the hell is going to talk about what a great fucking job
the two of you, you don't have to deny any role, even even on the naughty show. You just showed up: hey, hey, hey guys! C'mon! Did you prepare any of this yeah? No, you just showed up again here we go where we go. Okay, let's big lockers
and I was while I love hearing. You say that that should be our new catchphrase as soon as you get out there. Let me to be an aspirin are again we're getting a new our let's make lad.
Do they have line, shows what I think is a show in vegas were soon cooks.
For the entire cry out. We cook for that
No one want to watch me stumble around. I think people would, I would watch them. I think I'm getting shunned by the cooking community, there's a big cooking festival and I texted Bobby flay. He didn't reply
and he always replied by being shunned by the world because nobody returns my texts at all. So I return to text all the time you do. I do. I do the same. The other day asked me to text him like a quote for his new album. So I like really
about a text that in three options didn't hear back for like thirty hours until I was like a fuck face, used
dude sorry there all the birth of a mother, fucker workers when we draw up again together near light travels.
when sam is the worst in my way. Why? Well because, like
Sam is obsessed with the phone like he
like no one else he's it's like a monkey discovered a cell phone and like figured out the underpass code as Cassandra.
I just feel like you just see that and I'm like no but amazing, but so we were like we're barbara phoenix we were going to and from the things we didn't, we did. A bunch of games we did do.
it's good cause, you're very nice to bring. Where did you grow up your wisconsin milwaukee ruins your heart. You look like it does. Does name fuck you SAM. I like the way beard said it better and birds in it sincerely sounds like a piece of shit. He knows a cow cum tastes like calgary dinos, it's hot,
then put on their mittens.
really excess. Other fucking Jesus Christ,
that's very christmassy. We was peel and great.
three potato job for you, sand santa potato, tripoli in the house cheer. Oh god, I just burn my belly like a chill dude like this dude. Alright, we got to appeal
do you know how to play the theatres do not appeal
great potato low!
Are you saying that, like dumbfounded husband in an eighty said kindly hardy appeal on three of appeal,
here's a great row just roll men. Now, SAM, don't help near watch out
yeah. We've got appealing for you guys. I can feel quicker, I'm actually a good peeler. I can
you? My good pillar said that
my dad doesn't like me years. If anyone seen my dad, if we get in my region, the screen book rachel entirely green outfit
blind into the black black background.
If you're really go sunset, this looks like that. Little pale
now appeal. It will show you don't know what you're talking I do all you well, and this is a new material- are what is not a pillar impact? Wouldn't
it looks like his leg. Is armenia,
shaver, while SAM
we all know you data thicker, one
Why didn't you re such a shave, you armenian
a little back on journeys.
boy, so I'd be on the road I'd be on the road with sam we're driving to phoenix and he was on his phone while he was driving, he posted something and the whole time he's driving is just refreshing. His instagram, I'm like dude. What's your problem?
so we finally get there and then
Sam's ask SAM was like ask me a question about something size and halfway through my answer. When he's looking at his phone, I'm like is this dude. Listening to what I'm saying right now and bumper top fucking around lie there.
Clean up pretty much
and then say I'm I'm like halfway through talent, SAM somebody goes dude twenty five pound gopher and he shows me like like a link and I'm like what the fuck you're not listening to the gopher and then on the drive back, I had to physically lock sam's phone in his glove compartment.
Because he was just refreshing to enter the holidays idea. What the fuck like work, its eight hours, we're going to die
but driving a csr. I should point out the fence driver he's not in the passenger seat and I'm not like you're addicted to social media. I'm like you're, going to kill us. You keep going like burn dude. I got two new likes on that picture. Yeah your mom's right. Your mom thinks you sweet,
soon as I get off your phone sammy get off your far. I'm with you
Yeah! I'm on my phone, all the fucking time. I just got obese, how much less I use my photo a week and I used it fifteen minutes less last week.
Congratulations! We don't know what the first number
I stand by what you wave a thousand pounds. Bonds lighter until they give
I don't need a whole bezonian, the lazy boy last night at twelve, forty five. I didn't feel this potato, like our. We shearing the sheep for the first year. It's all over.
it's good for waffle. I remember what what are you put? This is so fucking
Do you love years? Don't you love the the
show, you know your bird and you can check the fuck out while you're dip sake get drunk and just try to read on dyslexic, sorting out arena whisk, and I think they were made potato, not tat.
Maybe the waffles appealed to break re on this.
make the waffles as a good direction mental. So they need to make the law halls. You ve done it
I don't walk off to see you guys later great to me he's a great to me, SAM Jaffe,
knuckles on one of these days, it's like hammering your thumb, few cooks here, no, no, no! It's the same as in the back laughing yeah yeah
the same knuckles on the shredder who call
new kid.
And how can you take me back? I ride bird.
kicker. Are you really chase? It's gonna change. We monitor lack outbreak in bulgaria. Charging us the black brown,
What are you on for? First, you want some of this bourbon. I said a joke this week on stage as they joked as we got to the stage that it stinks. It's a funny joke.
just got a really bad reaction be talked about trump. I got my wife.
Its outrage trump. When you tweet, I go whenever such trouble
at the tweet. I read it like a black eye watching a slam. Dunk contest, like oh yeah, because I said trump, everyone was like man you're like a black guy reading that were verified with that trump's, our guy.
He loves the blacks. He said it rarely with a black man there, that's one of the very reverse these about that knowledge is. When you going to talk about something
we're going to make linger. Latka steel, like those we now when he reached, can you do this off
amor for me. I can do so yeah here we go yeah yeah cure. Whenever you say you wash out a pitcher whenever he goes on to something on the doll that is super super like heavy and you're, making jokes and then you're kind of like hurry, yeah, the boston bus. I just listen to the wedding
There is such a hard task. I know anything about it
but you've been going to jog in the middle of both. You guys are like both you guys are like okay, I mean yeah, so that's,
craig? What matters in the ets like it's hard, because it's like a lot of time. You talk my delicate shit, so there's like about sir
at the forefront of my brain. That's just like mad! I am sure that your mouth now nice try. We and others.
one jon benet on my podcast and that's cracking jokes to people, that's crazy, but you know what was acceptable in society, ten years,
when she died with job
age of sensible? Now, oh bro, that arab I'm a joke
put a gun in my website? You're? Not going to do that. I love that. Thank you. Sam way, it works great. It worked great this week. I can tell you man, I've seen a lot of comedy in my life
The top two got upset. My show you did in the main room is probably what
b.
of all the re sets of everything
Well in this theatre, toronto was the grace I've ever seen by just one year,
Oh my god! This is the most new right there dude you again last I'm breathing it.
Yeah that rooms rooms really great room when you, when you put that show people just put killers on and everyone's doing, haven't been booked on shows. Just let me know when you're up for the manslaughter of people, I'm a sort of the Jay walker, the man they're, going to pull through wet manslaughter, that's kind of my little realm. You know what I mean you really feminine. When you do this, I do yeah SAM lord. Thank you. I was calling pizza, oh man, I feel fucking bloated ha.
for this and they like three fuck, did show you know one earlier than killer potato. You live around here, like potato five
If you need help them right here, yeah, no sane! We need someone to has applesauce now. Are you doing this because typically armenia, mendel cook yards and again so significant,
like sunday, rock you know. I mean
If we do that, then what's the point of beating people kinda and we'll be right back guys, thanks for tuning in what is, do you find yourself? Do you find yourself going like god damn it like? I do
it's like? Oh god, I'm such a fucking meathead like as such my upbringing of being a bro. Do you ever do something like goddamn and I know, I'm being so: armenian armenian, italian. I go zero to felony very quickly. That's kind of what I do. It's called mean median me me, the most famous armenians in the in the business of SAM Tripoli ever heard of them next,
share, shut up shut, the fuck up
mom who else's
Nobody knows who that is their romanian sam's, mom and camera right here. This conversation se literally lived in auburn ala then already do the bracelet. So the list so far as share you and salmon Andy who do the bracelet of the rifle wow that is yeah
and it's crazy. There should be about rushmore, almost wears a town or what
yeah,
what
an event that the name was
you'd like
You're ok, do without making a noise, but always saying a word. Santa Ethnicity- and you say their name just making a noise
I say so star super easy attacks.
And give me the titles guy's name, but don't say a word just make a noise to know you mean girl. I am a police guy, a maryann by now most of the iris
Tat turn
but yeah shepard, haha yeah? This might be my new favorite game, but yeah. My favorite thing in the world is to say things without saying a word right. I do it with guys act. I've done this way before or someone's act without saying a word. Okay, I'm going to do an act. You gotta tell me what I'm doing
in time.
A long time
for urban. The remember or berber herman herman may remember him from him. Who will tell
Yeah theory has the EU.
I think you better know now TAT s about it.
Yeah, the nearby
how my eye-
gary
variable you're, our whoa whoa you're. Our doing here there is said the EU businesses is
mmmmm. Remember me: I am a member,
neil can tell, but you can tell by my arms, who are very, very severe that you felt like a man- maybe maybe maybe yeah either one. This is my favorite game. It is. That is a fun game
me the whole very here's. What did you do not agree that won't you just drag loggers deal with it have as our haha.
but how are they
well, you are nobody else that is my favorite build a career move you'll be getting laughs. No just me! Ok, he quit on it right away. People like people are laughing. I know that, no matter the age dude I go deaf and say I can't hear
like all they hate me, so I just gotta burn this place down now
now you're gonna do another. One makes it in two areas, one to use with a thought. Here we go up to the longer term. That's a lot of potato susan, a lot of data tat time at that time to turn our times
irish. I don't think it's not a lot of, but, as I say, I told you about the potato.
And yeah obama era to by who tat point present a prototype, what s her off
tat. We are not for my family to last a morning spoken, I'm ok, juvenile
action of of different nationalities of women talking during sex.
only by a blank cheques. I only know that method,
well I'd like to thank you for being here, miserably missing
the doors
Craig worrying, omens boardgame is border
but salmon Andy who make the bracelets are. Ok,
So you ve got SAM Tripoli. The suicide doktor do raise the men
yeah. That's when you guys get a fifth look: the fuck out
So this is how you propose to do. This lacks legal action
sam live guarding the potatoes
get the whistle and his mouth, but he still letting you proceed one more egg, more egg and hear format. Fuck you! You were more egg. I think didn't
This is where this is where your instincts come into play. This is what a Bobby flayed us,
I mean not that he's writing that you guys are allowed to be bobby flay and fifty legs get packed in the ass for the way,
Bobby flay reference of the day. I'm
like everyone determine that successful by driven wandering crosstrees slice today, humble interesting, it's a tape
that I don't think either of us are going to get behind loves that swingers swing, but I I see someone taken over salmon andy spot prey soon before the armenian thought. For once again, we have a shared number, one, obviously from the same, and they again were brought to you by bracelets bracelets that for years you know what I mean: okay, max the jubilee, the aaa there's, just not a real name, but alright today, I guess Jack Kevorkian wouldn't be here at the user's own machine, but it's definitely got some tripling your weekend. How's that going you do
stop you're the guy.
My big thing like this. I don't know the deck. I think everyone in europe
I was fighting an onion and syriza because someone who hasn't in years and their verdict for SAM ever touch the. What am I do is ensure the romanians won't touch thing.
And what about armenians?
we will follow. This is their very tricky subject makes europe.
The three shots. One is a greenscreen sam out you and I are married and there's only four famous sam was in this episode. Again we want to make that very clear hold a molotov that gave the green screen a candy cane but they're very good, they're, very good at what our armenian stereotypes are. We're angry we are easily making is a huge iceland making. We are. We love black guys. That seems to be a big one with the mean community right. Alright, why? Who else yeah they're huge yeah me is
chloe, once give I just pumped out or more years, certainly not sit, not pretty anymore. What they did you can share in the carnatic your list
again come on man. If we're talking start killing people to say which saying that equality Correll mod. Are you wanting? I think you need a suicide van. Alright, we're close on these surveys. You just bought a kia. Oh shit,
I think that keep hammering neither on camera terrorism into that Jesus Christ.
now, we've got your aside, you're correct, they'll, never wag, again, yeah hey! It's me the way a guy lives, blood on your shirt, shut up, you're out. What's your?
if the city era, I love the bird, won't move a centimeter closer is like kicking field goals over here with the onion sets. Our planet go for too little, resulting plumbing naturally is sitting here, giggling the entire fucking time I got a low heat. There is.
Yeah. I don't know what the fuck is having the serfs. Slow me like this is what you can find in lying on the floor and microsoft birthday. I prefer it gave me all day references that go up what about an hour of eggs, guys which ones the ham Campbell baroness parents, but way. What did you ask me about what we know
cover. You said I do you, son of a bitch.
cook stories. I guess I'm no one.
One time I was one salmon, I did a gig in toronto. They it was
first time ever tried to dab.
Oh my god, and so I was SAM and I were in toronto like this weed shop, which is weird because we've got legalized like two months ago, but we were in like a shop that was like we're open about selling. We posted a comedy club that yeah, oh yeah, so we're there out there do we volunteering, so tony hinchcliffe was like before he's like you get high being on the stage, really show them. We did a podcast and then we were doing stand up in same as going to like forty minutes. I did like twenty or something like that and at the time
Am I've been doing this hacky bain bit where I'd be like bane as like a waiter, it was like popular at the time and still probably pretty hacky them, but we liked seeing you do it. Thank you so much sam. Why
just, but I'd be like that, a bit, it's a great fucking story, and god damn it. That's the end of the story. The story was going to have a bain bit overweight. Go through your story that, okay back to where I was calm and and so I'm backstage and they're like we ever tried to dab it. On my end. By backstage I mean like a shed and really yeah.
I know yeah yeah to add to this dudes. I guess a dab and I'm like what is it he's like thc concentrate. I was like. Okay took a big bong rip, but I was like you know when you take the it good yeah he caught eighteen times and someone's like you're going to get higher sounds like how high am I going to be the guys like real high and any laugh
I that I was going to do like when you were in high school, and you first got high like that vibe, where I was like, I'm freaking the fuck out over here or something I gotta call my grandpa. What's happening and grill just like tripping out backstage, and then I hear and then I'm just like.
Did you gotta wait an hour it'll fade and then I hear like sam from the stage be like gareth gareth and I'm like just ignore sam you're too high to do anything, but someone comes in there like sams calling for you and I'm like it tells him. No. Is the answer same dips, his head back used to do bane as a waiter, I'm like that right now, sam, I'm thinking about my family tree and
I come out and it was like out of body where I was just saying like alright, so I'll be like a guy wearing a donation. Gareth is a bane as a way of saying things like people were laughing, but I didn't know what I was saying. I was just doing the bit where I was just like yeah, just like dual core for
world hunger?
I get it. I want asked rather billing. Of course we need
the happy bamboo, but my head. I was like a calm lifetime.
It is there for the first time.
run the lie.
And yeah she's mostly attended a half an hour now my truck, but she was rehearsing her album around the light, which is the whole premise we used to do. Show a woman named Vicky who were
Those are all their works on his other partners,
However, my versus point, may I thank you for making soil teresa. Wouldn't you become a vegetarian
like nine years ago? Some like that, when my daughter, the other day, announced to her class that she, because
of love of animals is going pagan, paying a bag. It area only weaken twigs
teachers and researchers, one turning it. I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about.
I'm on the warlock diet, mainly durden truffles. I can eat anything, that's been blessed by my spirit. I love the cook, this
I mean, among other things you want to hear the chefs.
A lot of the drugs I'd like to know where it is
The girl
There's combine my directions.
let soil
even greater variety, sir, you get crash came, this is forging his you like, and I ran out early
I overestimated how much I could make.
god.
If I am, I'm just going to make sure the potatoes, the the onions are soft and then I think we're good with that.
Resource we have made sure that culture is that a christmas there very big christmas as a result,
yeah outer teresa, goes in the latter case,
I guess you could say. I got a lot to learn.
I really want to that means I get shut the fuck up. It's my close up. I guess you could say I got a lot to learn. I miss the bane both the motherfucker,
by the way. It says a lot when someone says that in that vein bit really I'm working at low cost up to here, son of a bitch, I would
it sounds really good yeah good to theresa. You can cook forever and it just never browns like it's it's it's. I don't. Even if it's meat
look at the start of this year. I aim to burn
fucking tourism, the trade places with teresa with a comic. Would you like to be who lived in the past? Like I said Oliver passed away? I just came up with the best, like comic tone, impression: okay,
an age of you are I don't see as they are thanks. So much
those are easier for us to get common, no richer. Prior thousands easy now. Will you just started
I mean I did was set. What's the punchline,
Here we are generated by my committee of this one.
Genocide, wealth regulator.
But even more urim, and now they re frame of mind. You can have a mac manner, mars
atlanta
my mama, not morgan, freeman, frank calendar
What do you want to write?
to this I think, is
the ball, you ever more bearable.
Right
so in their way by the directions are worried about the
inside the garden, and we are very worried about a lot of stuff. That's good!
When was the last time you cooked a meal?
gary about eight years ago, so going to catch? A really is brings me back to my roots spent.
it'll, be a girl,
with catch up, but he doesn't need to say, and it's and it's insinuate to you. That's the one part of the capital travel trial that fucking made me lose my mind was no one point we, I know that's what my wife said. That's where my wife didn't. Let me
this year. We gonna write, imbalance and voted for.
We have settled in I go here, which was nice because you already voted. You already voted very liberal this year. Progressive for who did I vote, for it goes all the good ones. Don't you worry, but we were watching the cabinet thing and she was like.
and I was getting outraged all the wrong moment. As I can you imagine defending your yearbook post. I could never be a supreme court judges and you
like yearbook, Berg now had snapped the rapid outrage,
a year on trial, works
I was a lot of crazy shit, no suit. My calendar whacked off drank a
working hours.
She looking
a diary as a guy. Anybody, a guy who should not be rewarded
but it could be definite calendar
That's even we're gonna be out who keeps a count who every behold in retrospect does like well
dear December twelve, here's what I did today
the normal calendar villain rather trying our drug to all you had this all plan? No, it's retrospect, I'm crazy!
yes I'll be judging others. This looks really fucking.
really fucking good. Now us and gallipot affrighted fellow applesauce
hey don't help we're gonna put.
you think we're gonna.
Ok, we're gonna, put the waffle iron. What we're gonna do
put on picturing- is you with your family during an emergency just reading the directions for like the food you ordered online? Like
If Sarah goes down we're just going to get the dodge and then shit, ok, no way we're going to stay here. Isn't that crazy
someone dad.
Together is crazy. I love
people lie, depend on me, my favorite thing when we came on your show,
was I mean we get along podcast an you like halfway through your like, I want
make another drink uprooting hammered out like I have no idea just get those big copies of thirty two hours,
you should do want more shot. I think you're right, I'm! I think these are gonna, be fucking.
phenomenon we got a great idea. These homey there's going to be so good
Well, I've got bad is very water. It's full of potato and gone brown. Did you throw up?
also says it's from brown from the tit. Yes- and I want you off the wagon
is my dream same as for you to get me right where you bad drinking dude, but you can't drink it because there's potato wondered if you like vodka for drinks at the comedy store. You wait what,
unresolved issues from various of the commons looking internationally. I remember you won't harbour. I never remember like,
Bang drinker I mean let's commit crimes drank yeah, but.
I remember. How are you going to tell you a couple story? Jerk off you learn anymore
receive first, was you shouldn't become the detective now comedian
nobody thinks you're funny, you got great instinct tat. I should do
you to play soccer
Sorry, I left you shouldn't, have left you
I regret it every
for years. I spent a lot of them.
Get involved, they can flip conflicts. What reason disengage you want
and, to you know, just an option. It's all about option and that's what we're about here. How long does it cook for til it burns
until it becomes a lot of money so that I might make this at home.
I own, I don't think you guys know what you're about to get into I'm and I give you a shorter route move here,
I believe that the time is now I'm sorry
who shot the language.
But I mean someone's, I'm taking your notes,
The key copyright is Andy's, like article manner
jointly legs, go the red,
smile like to re beer, international yeah you're, going to make us now I'd like to go over the dirtiest shit man, I think SAM.
All that as who had certain of our
Oh sorry, that's a saw. Did you ever do the? Did you ever do this? Stand up the naughty show in vegas, you do you did it at the hard rock? Do you ever do that the swingers club? Now
I think I did too with you. Tat was the best.
We know that I read or wearying says only that that's always say we're thing:
Oh shit,
Every legal is always good. Business
so good. Oh, my god wizened this more of
we want to celebrate I'll, get it's gonna be Yeah chairs and two years.
Slowly, turning vodka water sandwich do another one that felt forced a little big. Even for you, I m from sea aramis
little big. Do us a favor we're going to film you sleeping in your car in the parking lot Rona. Will let this cook in the world we're going to do? Is you put fried egg on this really hot yeah? Then it's going to it's going to sit normal. What will fill holes
and the a timer on here holy shit man, nine thinning discoveries
it's cooking, there's egg in there and potato. So are we going to cook it to be that honest with you,
the emperor again egg, now that you say that that does anyone know why
the egg. That's all it's got a it's good. Let me get that one up! You know it's good. It's the John F kennedy approach to.
A lot cause smooth say why why rachel says why not
You know why it flips now version of the cuban missile crisis up top is so true dude. I wish it got tighter. I wanted to get tighter. Well, that's your other catch phrase, separate storage, lock,
really smoke. It really is smoking. The steaming steaming alright stay with the women kitchen
canada which drives you like: better, ok, ready, okay, this is worth one. This is
who, as well broken, it happens to all nine uno this one.
like the one? That's all
The more already this one! It s, switchblade like that
nice, I gather the where'd you get the
You can stab deeper you're like that?
one is established for you. Where were you the first time you're drunk
I was in england, everybody in england, like all my
my cousin, who is my age and of his friends. They worked like three years ahead of where we were in wisconsin for like partying, so is like
drinking started at eleven, no job like smoking cigarettes, I return drinking siren, eleven pot, thirteen sex, twelve thirteen and so the first summit.
drunk. I was in england and I was fourteen and they were all like my. What are you waiting so long? Not what you're a grown up, but I was like fourteen seems like a fair time yeah when I was twelve, they were like they used to.
Virgin, like I am still a virgin male happen. It'll happen. My nails
like I'm not actively trying to have sex
trying to figure out adolescent values story about people. Ask me for drugs over there. That's why?
my god did self funding? I went
and visited lifecycle says it's.
They know it's I'd. I set the alarm myself to the breaking into the waffle.
My god
I've been in england where they were so. My family lives like ten years and I
was jet lag and all that stuff. Now, whenever I go to my my cousins place and we go pick
haven't seen these people in ten years.
And so we go get my other cousin and were driving around six seven thirty at night, and there like what you fancy doing. Gareth am I
whatever you know, whatever you guys, whatever you guys are doing now they go to talk to go out. Yeah. Let's go love to go out to go. Do you do drugs? I go. I do drugs. I was like
the drugs what's up and then one who doesn't drink turns and she crack. As I deduce
I could crack
No, actually, I can't believe I'm going to say no to this setup. I was thinking I'd, be shepherding them through a mushroom trip like this way into the tree. You'll come down, you know, you'll be fine, remember nature. Instead, the hawks pop you're helping get that jihad pop
what they parents only know who I think, a little longer.
The foot feature seems useless. My crazy design and you want to see it from the other hang up.
and the other eggo yeah it goes. Both sides are equally heated, so it's just like we're making you feel a little slow to throw a travelling time. Give it out hello. I'm not a pancake know what you know about the pancake.
Back when he has anyone in my word cry. Bird has been doing this. Show too long because was a power move that look that looks finger at saint bride, getting tell burning so should we do she we do to animals
a sample on media. Do in one more one more of a more honest stories track, never read the first time I ate it.
That cancer,
her tail, they said someone's gotta eat, announce a crack. I said, gentlemen, my mouth couldn't be wider and theirs
Throwing in me like I was a dumpster library well to two and a half years later came out of the blackout.
And I was a senator. I had apparently one an election first,
heard of it
to me it felt like twenty minutes. What's your day, I'm not your political weight to again this whole. All these, like
is the politicians who are beyond corrupt, getting reelected. It's like crazy rife were a way to ruin or comments. No, not if you know a bird voted for, but he doesn't
everything caught busy averted, voted in by rights, sir gazing, smuggle barbaric for
people were said, none for their political parties,
I would always over be able to say at the weirdest time, because it's like there are two
we're establishments that we all basically agree are bullshit yeah, but we're also like don't go outside of the bullshit. This election is like, but we're all aware that it's total fucking bullshit how the l a voted down. Rankin droll, it's!
because people like I don't want anyone controlling what my rent is. It's like no now goddamn it fuck. That's why we can't do prop nine and seven and four anymore. They need to literally be like prop. Do you want your rent higher? It's like well fuck nope, but they didn't
information. They can get with prop nine, promoting new priority, less a luxury. We voted down, not knowing what to our food spoke. Your mother, like you, I would say like denied that, though the anti the entire of anything good always starts with a mother, would like a grocery currencies. I'm sure I don't want
I babies kidnapped and sent to uganda, but I also don't want this roast beef to be more expensive than it is right. Now it's like that's always bullshit one starts it's like rent control. It's like well sure. I think we should control IRAN, but I also don't want to pay more for chicken breasts. My family likes chicken and it's pretty expensive, as is it's like every fucking year. Every year we have prop, and they should just be called like weed prop
legalise we'd prior goes as you like six years ago, that was so confusing on whether you not wanted to legalise marijuana. Do you want to live in their boards? I don't do
If you like the way I want it, though yeah this is a long way. Did you vote yes or no you're, like? I don't know that, like you did oh dude, you need no to go through this year. You've got to vote no and yes, and do that, like I am having a tough time I smoke
limited to shut up,
wait. I have a limited time. Ok, we're ones were just like Joe
is Johnson jackson, oh yeah, I'm like. Why does what no? No no fuck you judge, Judson he's. Like I'm embarrassed, I'm sorry! It's just very confusing, but I know what went on when trump during trump's election was taken to court
service to the to the to the store
were to do that and the rope. I guessed
I said: where are we going to the store, so I'm doing a podcast about the law he takes. You to vons is a high, but we don't know he was. He was an uber driver and he goes I'm doing a podcast about the election and he goes yeah
what is happening today. He goes, oh run it and I go with you.
Isn't it goes like another?
was said, and I go it's donald trump Hillary Clinton and he goes.
However, there is one I was. I do
if you've ever been in a coma for eight years, and I started driving for uber day off. It's crazy. You just see like blood coming out of the back of his head. You're driving is like your drunk guy fight or what you do be driving through utah.
why. Why so angry, I don't know, that's how they get
This is my woman carrier. Excuse
We want
for two years to kick I'd say by the way, what he's using there is called a frying pan and that is used for some people to go to a ruse. We all
wow sand, never seen a suit?
So what they're doing in the back of duties the whole time
puts forward ass. The others had also needs made. Literally
I use it in my life. I've had two black comedians teach me how to make an omelet really Patricia neal is an l. Rollins both took
the south. This thing that raising it again,
it's a race and latka intruder in latka.
ooh that one's not done yet really do we had to make an omelette and both of them taught me how to make an omelette the exact same way. What what's the tech?
may, because I am receiving the pan out. Interest was about.
Using the premier, the hardest part is the flip of an omelet. Haven't, only black could run the show
Well seems armenian anyway.
I have one black personal. They this show February is gonna, be a fuckin shit store mother fucker.
February's goody, raven black brothers.
What's with burke, is we're because I can make like I can make like recently and sensitive meal around my wife friends. They know
like Bilbo or megan, or have I done that I have
I feel like I'm, not a part of this show. Do you feel like that? Sometimes the ghost of christmas burn yeah, let's get a blackout on the phone, so we can get a moment called Darnell right now.
The outer another one of those- and I mean I just want to make my dad did you know now. I understand why they sent an email about a driver, their life
driver lay by what it says, undermine nano might have heard a lot of luck closer to the phone for gilbert.
or sub son who I would have raised the you of high number of uniform lenin
number three hundred gone, mister rawlins you're ready to go.
we, my hockey whitetip boys, dan actions done ellsberg, always back okay phone umbrella Hayworth,
I'm doing my cooking right now and I really
plus I have not had a black guy on my show yet, and I wanted to extend an invite and see if you want to do. My cooking show explains on the cooking show when I do it, whenever the whenever you can make it happen, what's the best thing about the show? What is up, but I'm a I well, I can't really cook we just get drunk and talk shit. While I make something to eat I'll, send you a link, it's called something's burning
Can I learned the reason I'm calling you is? I just talked about. You show me how to make an omelette, so we were doing. I guess
I know you're nice yea kawaguchi up the way you come on. My show bags
well they're, alright, I'll give you a call I'll give you calico later, I'm have a rachel or mike over the all things comedy reach out to you. I could talk to Barbara and I'll talk to you later urine
although there like people rawlins, it could just be
great durno, rawlins impersonator amid a prank highly on those, so I am now strikes
yeah. What doesn't he do? Look amazing. This thread can now you know what it is. You know it is it's because it's in a walk wire. It makes it look like
beautiful. It looks professional because rank you can't do anything other than put it on eggnog looking manages to turn great sideways
you mean: segue came to still super on hey. It is it's very fucking, odd. Alright, you ready yeah pop this one. You think this one's done,
What are you trying to say now? There's? No,
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay! Well, I'm going to pee. Can I can we watch sam yeah? We're gonna make a third one I'll make a third we're doing three months.
I some of this that good writer.
If it looks amazing right away, don't do one more than hey. I got no fucking shitting around his funniest fucking shit. I can't he makes me laugh so hard. I'm, like I know, he's funny. I listen to the podcast working with him is so fucking quick block them out
tell mom thing water, so you say what
instead of sour cream and applesauce on it yeah. Thank you, ma'am, okay. Where was that the worst sour cream? Do we have it inside the thing.
sand maker. They have a couple nosey like you coming
uber beef up the little slot do some pushups are real lol. Sorry bud has turned sour cream. Who said that the network was for people with beards, all the guys with beards, that when do they get out of the cage,
What's the deal with them, hates sour cream, yeah sure? What do you think it is? I think it's eggnog heart. How do you think this will go on pretty pretty generous?
yeah go hard in the paint with it? Sam sam do now, let's give them the money shot of suzanne right, guys, nope you're with me. Now
there. It is that the same trope, you don't work,
this will make no there's no way to know what our cream applesauce or some or all of us. I don't know what else
said? Cyrus man applesauce, I'm happy for its wonderful, ok, good! I know I've had locked us before this looks pretty good. It does sucks grades.
Are you trying to like? What are you doing? This is like the best thing I've ever seen is beyond epa one's ever done. They haven't. I am in four months preparation moment of having these rates should we?
sample these, whether still warm yeahs, Armenia's totalled more than you are more applesauce and we'll just each Ethan
we know another shot or as a grades to sam's vodka horse imbibed set up today
I'm not get fucked up, and here I am.
I figure I'll go on my own room at a whitesnake, tripoli woods.
we are fortunate.
Boys, thank you. Thank you. Thank you and the fourth
life is for Jesus. Ok go ahead.
Break. You guys got this austerity is not beautiful. Now had a nice now re needlessly, your arm could look at
It looks really well cooked eggs, for you can do anything good, it's excel and word of god, that's what Gordon Ramsay says you can tell the competence of a chef by having them. Have you seen the video of anthony bourdain talking about how to cook a scrambled egg? Now it will make your dick hard.
It's so fun isn't a lot. We might need a little salt or put this right here in case you want to grab some of the same. Am I cutting? No straws shuttles me know I'll. Do it out of a stripper?
MA am
and now it's all lead on through nevermind
on the level
unbelievable
Yes, you know, what's going on here, sure row row
I don't know you got it
Where did you get here like a dog? What I'd taken himself off after sprinkler broadly
domino dude
there's one white gravy letters
that was SAM's break dancing name, like gravy, only see that relies on a fuck
May I make a lot of money to a common view that more than most
better about right. It's really good! Really good!
I expect that I thought everyone on the show was faking it. Nobody
started at all I mean it. I knew
as we gotta eat like there's more often,
We're not gonna work meal, remove move, oh my god, SAM's, not capable of
It's what are you doing? Oh my god. I just Airbus. Did you see that?
and when did anyone have a shot at me here biting everybody? What I did that one time I was watching the movie, the name of those when I was like twelve. My dad got me into this growing up Eric is my dad totally this
What do you mean
It was like putting a football game on I air. By all the time I'm going watch you. I can't even watch you try this one
gunnar abiding by god. That's like the new planking. Aha
I arbed whoa one. That's phenomenal! You shall be news. This is
So much is derisory meals. Get in
ever audio gotta be
fuck him amaze did really happening on a mandate.
Like your racing car all right, I'm gonna go out right
for a while.
Lemon only has done a good job on this job.
to make the entire meal delivery
therefore you speak armenia,
I got a job or time can be good. Is that when the crews drop in breaks,
I just got the two shot. Who's got the one shot. I had the boucher ready. I did not think this,
good, really grimacing I ever but who is mentioned quicksand porn on, but the dial up to that's it
That's him. I knew our as it. Oh. He dared quickly
more work is he was who I forget where the fuck we were.
Those obsessed with good cook s where he mentioned a mention quicksand porn, what its quicksand, porn, you're talking to doktor quicksands, a girl. One of the woods
here I am an old hake. Finally, oh no
what's this before me appeared either.
I can cross it without touching that vine to swing take my top off. If I throw my top off I'll convinced the sand, I'm not on need, as I back my meals are pretty much towards the airport.
And I shall not. I shall call my balls. What is the demographic for that white guys, we're ever greater measure? It is hot when their kids get through the mud. Owe you a forwards, miss anything.
head still is pretty high when the kids get to them. They lift off like a natural like there's that, like the perfect,
I think what it is you guys that were into desert?
many centuries old vidal, then I know it's. Our media was presented. Anything sexual in in nature was presented.
As a heroine in distress. So it's a girl get tied up. A girl in quicksand. Now think that
there's quicksand! Every farmer movie I watched grown up quickly imported just how interesting
it. How did then, but how did that? Have that that just gonna happen from you like pouring surfing
little bed and then you are like. Oh, I don't know how it happened now I get it, but I'm
I know that I don't think this is the real answer, but I saw it to get trapped in quicksand for real and it was not in real life, but on a video he was in england,
I say you've been off the weird shit. No! No! No! I wasn't. I was just watching it and it's like do get caught quicksand
maybe she's quicker than most sons who
where's your fuckin brodie fast enough to really panicky. Then it's real and they have experts random and kick
about the experts in their like any or
It's not funny anymore, not fully anymore hit me up always right, and you just watch him thinking when it's one of those panic
yes, I've ever seen, gets outweigh, does get out, but man does
been on my way. You know we're on the internet, so I hope you will get. Google is opposed,
and here the cabbie out is he's care? Can kick it blood to his legs?
unlike unlike their like. We gotta get him out quick because he's in danger of losing his leg.
Well, those thing what I think is. Finally I can out about the day he's on a beach in england. I think this is my memory. Camera he literally starts over is alright. So what we have here is a little quicksand and I'm going to show you how a natural person gets caught in quicksand and so very honestly, it's been a little sticky
thinking about how we get through these are all right. So about well. Ok turns out,
as I struggle it gets a little bigger. Ok, all right!
I I wonder where that bright scene and I'd like you guys to come back now now get me out and and also up to his chest, as I can
breathe anymore, put the cameras down, though it's giving me panic thinking about it and from that I think, or maybe I tweeted it,
I know that I know that I heard somebody hit me up about thinkers, thinkers or people that are indicates airborne.
Those us
for sure I've never heard zinger there's a website. I dunno. If I went to the website of a good thinkers, but there's it's like sinkers. Look like you, just helped them out of the quicksand and you can and you can. You can go and find places where quicksand is in america, so you can go shoot
For example? It is so crazy to me that that is actually real. This would ready so good
people have hard core methinks so sands of quicksand porn is, did we all know we far its differently realize
poor again. Do those holding slowly dying driving me? Does she want what ok so we're gonna make one for the crew yeah erasmus, it's the giving season
so the crew, iberian bird? In my experience, the crew works better hungry too sanity guys, but we expect your best.
What do we do for them? Do we do
Do we do this one that one would think applesauce
I am therefore and shoe pressure me what I want to smoke. I yang I go it. Sam rethink apples!
Yeah ok
the little green too?
sam, I gotta, want more. Did you get that from you said, going back wanting a cream
you remember thirty men don't worry about it. You ve emotional flow, my gun come here.
Don't do this? Don't stop.
I feel so say the same area have when you need them is real: no cell, props, armenians.
isn't it true what they say about armenians, they always eat the props.
Then a thing with salmon in the vast like sam.
following I'm going, I'm going create cream cheese apples.
And I want to make a bet our dream to black there. That's it you're right,
Ok, I guess I. What have you got it cottage, what kind of cheese all belong and right now cooking episode of the nine arrogance with cream cheese,
we're doing some applesauce g
amazon has a long day, but the union days the internet
became gonna hate your allotted among some of what was the last time you eat this evening,
you're wasting away you're, nothing but mustache lord you are just enough.
What does napkin? How much does this thing have to go through with that fucking mustache, secure southern district attorney a ma'am? I recommend you answer the question,
the witness.
Whenever the with jewels was eleven dollars, a red room pro
domini, oh my god that obviously
What,
I do not want to disparage the witness anymore, but I do have a couple of words about your written, a drug problem of why we talk about the draken anti drugs ma am crew crew.
Yeah, it's hot, come in your sample this guy. For doing
Part of what I do this is giving my come on it. My mom doesn't have headsets or a camera in their hand, come on in and try it same, fucking cameras. Let these guys come on guys. This is my family and this
it's what we do and there's four forks and nine of you here are your nice gentlemen. Welcome to the hunger games, hey guys, could you not block my fucking shot holy shit for the crew, a meal, not the closer? Clearly we have to be about who the star is. The jacket is that that fucking,
It is a really guys table for fuck's sake.
Or yeah. Would you it to take you back thirty your whole? Take. Let me cake go back to your cage and try to feed the others of our tale of acting. We are wag,
We are you and that's great rights really ought we are? They walk all actors guild? We are way.
Try. Www try the moment the friday. I got it all you guys. I love it. Shaded fried hanging, ike low guides dine a year and a half ago quit entering into work and killed as far as a bottle.
that's the worst thing to here. We need three quarters of the way full by in the bottle already come on,
no no, no you're billboards over. I got this earlier
equivalent man,
I
aye, sir
where
it's iran, I married a
where am I
yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I am er yeah yeah, very caring, yeah. It's only because he's the best am I I I would argue. One
there's like you, ok man. What is already origin? Do you mean Zagat? I just
What company I saw something the car I would willingly. Developments were zoe. We ever this clean.
It's the best moment is when
you're drunk and you fuck up, and you look around the day when noticed nothing, but I'm still my skin
fingers on looking
Do you hear me
I would argue that the
oh no! No! No! No! No! No! This! This is a good view that the better the comedian is the quicker it is to be able to do an impression of him without words, because it's almost like you, you know them you like it. It's one of the weirdest things. It's almost like a like a great podcast that when you hear the intro music, you go
I am relaxed I'm in bed. I got my headsets in like I. I hope no one takes a shit. I hope. No one thinks that we're shitting on these comments with love,
Now you did bill, I was I got.
But it is. It is like a man now we're talking
Is it really is. I think that is the thing like
where you are, I mean
is, that how you start as a comic, almost where you're, like so influenced by someone you almost take on the cadence for a minute you're. Almost there doing, you're jokes through someone else's cadence for a second before
if you find your own stuff and you'll figure it out. I think I got that in my day. Is there anybody that you feel like when you started burnt and rude fucking?
perceval everyone who lives like pablo parents,
scott re, because you did something
Ok, that's bad too
Ah, but you'd watched him and you were sort of like this dude is such a murderer. Murder, bro, oh dude, who are still married. Yeah two guys came out of the womb without tight forty five, and that was
the ex wards in
empire. There were just killers we're out again
So I would you watch them. You'd watch them
pablo for such a nice guy. I was so broken into man. The role within us
oh brother, he gave me
the car shot. He just gave me a car who pablo
he was portraying kellyanne do and he is Patrick's all this book pablo was a gangster bro. He was. He got huge if this is asterix leave the sand, because I think it's important to know
fuck him a huge in drug switzerland, a chill bananas which sweden, scandinavia, where he got run in scandinavia and make bookoo box and then come back into funnybone, respectfully woven genuine each make great money, but not when it made its way that guy
that guy's. A legend bro like went for road guys frustrated row, guys there's some legends in the game where you just you sit back and you go like nothing but respect. I gotta figure out how they do what they did
yeah. I think that those are like. I mean there
You don't say: comics comics,
There is a complex colleagues know, but more than earns comets public well, but they all.
or a guys who go work. The fuckin road. That
maybe they don't have. The like pablo definitely had a high profile for a while, but he's on the road. What like every week,
like fifty wings, you yeah, I'm
that's thanksgiving and christmas off a matter
what drug did you get bored, checkups, your home or plate and yeah pablo fucking these broke doing and beast yeah
the guy. I flip away. You gonna fight fire of iron wire. Pan those higher
don't go to the forest owner? Now it's right now
so, we know this is beard all over again double.
I wanted sam. That's how campfires start there, but lo.
Yeah I mean that I was ever felt she told
SAM told me that if a blue and we get a campfire, all I got was a marshmallow not
road, my mother for your mother lives like mine, a pervert! Thank you. Alright, guys pull up, I'm not dealt with by my pablo speak,
okay, er, I dunno I'm genuinely impressed by that. Is that a move that you've established prior to this crusher is called the the
oh fuck,
look at all that egg. On top of it look at all that a guy look at all that what it needs. You know what it needs needs.
No, I need some pocket,
forgive me. I got in the food chain
I, like our fakes now looks like elderly people,
and we've seen elderly pupae when you and I went to the Y m c, a hey guys, it will be rebirth, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh yeah, I'm actually a little magic on the job. What do you do if you want cheese, melted on your whoa? Who are you I make it rain, like the macgyver of cookie he's birdman birdman? Can we milk maker
look at that saw melted. Sam blow entered a bunch anyway. Ok, my about pablo now to use a basement there's a lot of guys. Members isn't
it's a thing that, like road murderers in a way yeah, but here's, the camera, here's the rap you get is that it's safe to murder on the road like there's no sea ice in it, no pressure
evolved, I'm guilty of that. Is that a murderer?
come back to learn, I get nervous and do my tight little shit when you see,
lay murderers, we're way. Sometimes it doesn't translate
you know, like Ella murderers, go on, give it to him,
me too, or even to me I'll say no! No, I mean.
I think it away like. That is why the road is great is because you can play around with you. It is also just finally go out there. Just t off,
going on a road is just teeing off. Yes,
Where do you guys got guy role on this? Show that person see you know just
all these light industry.
People like there's a reason: why do you, like all its industry, crowd position?
all the makes a cosy game sock, because
bottom wrong. All industry beta nodded. They got thyssen chandler they're. Fine, ok for ya know. That is true.
If you like, I walked out a couple weeks ago, and the first thing I saw was a guy in an ad hat sitting and like the second row- and I was like we're, how is this not how you start? I mean you literally, have no choice but to spend ten minutes good.
bad big like talk about
your deal and why are you with a woman?
Why is she next to you? What did she do to deserve the co captain treatment of you know like one guy in town or are you doing the road you do the road with a dollop in regards to australia to the world? Really.
yeah, I know gone the next week. Well we're almost sold out, so I don't want to plug the show too hard. But if you guys want to come down and surprised the fuck, have you got
Now then another. The fact that you guys were as how did you,
I mean as well
as we all know that use raises three of us know that better than anyone,
You spend your behind me, surprise to be known and how much you want it to be to go like this. Is it this isn't, a god gift? This was earned
and I was still a surprise. You still treat it like a gift because you're like don't you go away,
if everything calipers are ever got a free korea, so they find out on the worst to find out the shit that forty six years old, I headlined my first theater game. For
we three years on the road map.
Twenty years into something in june.
starting the here where you want to buy new feels like them. I know exactly what it feels like to speak. It
Well, let's see all the pieces, do it oh sure how many skills your job you're, the
that is serious. That's
great! I do it all the time great mouth, but over the budget
I do it all it's fun I dunno to study. Well, that's why you put the cheese on there. No one can notice clue come on. Let's try that real, quick crew now you'll eat.
Come on come on. Let's try this. You can really love, but I got you into take grabber anymore, forks. Ok now
one facet ones have expired, so worked in
little shots guard dog sand of ngos, winning your word SAM.
Through you may see. Breaking I got then can really get the eyes got three eggs in their yokes. Here. Let me to start stabbing my lunch.
It is for sure bringing over gases. You should try it. It's really good, not fucking! Amazing! Alright, though, is it because Dr Kevorkian hasn't
he is the fishermen from vermilion she does want beyond here. Oh, that was,
I got tons of credit, but that was hours ago, dear moon, is it true, your mother certified an instragram and you're, not as effective as the giving season? Has that been tough for you? That's not how you peggy.
SAM uses, the fork is really is under the hand so
the translator for his hell. I learnt a lot. This fuckin recipe
that shows a cell and what we to do. We have
Where is it
Jeg nok it's burning in the freezer? What did you do it? The iceberg fell to the ice chest, but I am tapped out as a host taken.
I take time I'm no rush. Why uncertainty or footage
Welcome to
he's trying to get me to take your role. I will not do to please
as a result of the hostess show that they are, and I am fags
by the way I mean this is pitched too you burn it to cook
show you come in you kind of fuck around you're, like ok gray, but it's sort of like saying. Like hey,
welcome to the r e perform a couple of surgeries you like and talk to the people around for the EU is pretty cold or hey it's.
So I think what matters is that we pretend like its yeah. Let's scorcher miles, you want to try this. I know what we want to try and save
will try it fuck yeah? Why wouldn't a little bit of whiskey a little bit of eggnog
oh wow, we didn't know this was going to happen weird by the way, not enough egg nog for this whiskey I'd say. Well, I mean I don't know by the way I would be left with a bit more, but I'm not certain the years that a little further, I hope the season itself with whipped cream. Let's do a whip at the pound in the parking lot mother fuckers, I told the other show
well, I'm sure it'll be cut out, but the one on the first date with the college I met. Her name is jerry and I said she goes: let's go to
it was the grocery store and do with this. I was like dude the idea of doing them in the grocery store as a variable. It's good. This is good.
I bet it's really good, but its mix with whisky, which get
I told you about bulgaria.
It was you ignoble make
the governor of oregon idiots, do you want to hear bane or denny's or their bang. I'd like to hear back. Do you know experts dude be,
yet a back up. All my car
to build a grievance,
no
Why don't we fight anyone? We fight on christmas day or two burners for the beverage for the beverage nobody wants these eggs died for, since this is really good. If you do not think that we are drinking a garage like,
in periods. Oh well, that's tough to hereafter, as my daughter's my daughter's once they got. Their periods were like soy. Are we eating egg or chicken periods? Mozart yeah
It makes a sandwich solar, sabotage brown choice on easy. You get the Jews if your sandwiches
now. That's what you just need a white imperfectly boy. I can't right now. I can't do it well slave, but imperfectly both stood
I mean this is
I'll take another shouted the edna.
what I mean my dog, I like the action is crucial.
Ooh? Hey? So why don't you go fuck your mama's out there she's the one that out of all that obama said aunt may
boy here. Why will you October fellow above it
Same when driving the bus in the morning was ever tawdry, my family are driving school bus tomorrow as a cheerful machado, hairs whiskey.
hey guys! Merry christmas, Mary! As guarded sam,
I hope a fantastic holiday.
season
remember flipping the waffle iron does nothing
happy played played on the side. Have you wanna, go agents, happy magic, robot, just unhappy outrage to all the religions. We missed yes!
May you celebrating the comments action? Oh
What happened? That is what you did was rink. That's the lord saying no
ever you armenians, pray do no. He said we're pursued,
be right for bloopers the knife christian
but you know how we gonna sell saint christmas on without using words
I don't know a christmas beaks. Only. We paperwork
around.
you're too. You a merry christmas. What
I will be as already do your best.
Well christmas, sound saw here. We go you eddie, I'll start, okay,
it's amazing that we don't know what it is yet because it's just a tune. We enjoy no! No! No! Yes! Yes, I go in the new gun,
real war, that's good kind, will like a robot puppy, we're all mega hands magazine grins movie.
Why do I get one thousand million resilient user is on? You may or may not sound grids, but he
yeah.
The stone stone, the gun, hey we're looking to go. We the people that take a cut not be in this anymore. It's the guy who says dog all the times. Sorry about that
I do not know the spitting all over everything. The way spreading all over everybody come on. A human is an amazing gentleman. Merry christmas, this burden dirt and god bless you
Well god bless us every one of us. It's a christmas miracle that the lockers came out all right, sir. These are christmas.
America is truly alright? Alright, oh yeah
Wait what the fuck do you just say, I'm talking about your special ave special gone SAM Tripoli's cruz's describing extravaganza, but the vibe room all again available on vimeo, alright, okay, okay, you're, not santa what.
oh,
Transcript generated on 2022-10-23.