The guys grandpapa gas, and if you want to call me on my new number three three. Zero. Eight zero, eight for four, this is a number that Tom and I talked about on our last two bears one cave and we just got these. Birds on this week's to bears one gave and I actually think it's cool shit. It is They really call. You know me, I can tell me, and then we can turn back and forth here as well. Get em I'll. Tell you why I use this and I am the only one texting back and forth. Obviously, some, like fifteen thousand messages last night, so I idea here but everyone. But what is happening is it? Is your real name in your real number. So not a lot of people are talking trash. I feel comfortable going on. There obviously allowed people think it's a bottleneck, cave urinate, my eyes and and fucking urinate, my eyes, the guy, a linen that's good.

I know well that heat their think it's about it's not about it's me, I'm reading out in robot a bureau behind a robot, yes about, and so So I think a robot highly agreed back to me pimping this fucking number. So I am responding to them here is why this number is special I am releasing a bunch of tickets for shows in member, I'm putting a budget shows on sale in a week in november. I have not announced them yet and they are arse they will. Having happened in november in comedy clubs and in theatres. We are adding, shows I'm gonna, I'm going to use this number for my precept. Pre sale is when you get first dibs on my ticket the best seats, the best the best prices. Everything is pre sale. That's when we give you a promo code and I be using this obviously off be putting it on instagram I'll, be putting it on twitter, but when it goes up on twitter and rammers when they disappear,

and this number we will get a text, your phone, the link and then you will be able to click it and buy tickets. That's why I think this number school dane- and I talked about this and I talk. Not this on rogan, but getting my own number and in doing this with fat, I want to direct access to two so that can I get a fuckin messages from people like. What are you going to do? the dot, but with this number I'll be able to not only wish you happy birthday on your birthdays, but but send you direct messages going hey cleveland, we've added two shows at the Agora. Oh did I just Did I just oh my bad, my bad but like I will and then that will go to. I won't go to everyone. That'll just go to the people in cleveland, okay, so get my number and added. Send me attacks you'll, get it you'll an auto reply, and then, when you text me I Get your text and if my phone I'll, let you know what I'm gonna be on my phone, I'm not on my phone and in reply to that,

seven try to reply to as many as possible, but it's me doing it so you're, not getting some poor shit bought reply. Three two three robot, Three! Do three, two: zero, eight zero, eight for four days. Today's podcast, a great one with Bobby Kelly by was talking with Tom segura last night, about Bobby Kelly, I've known Bobby, probably Bobby, was that the first guy to be nice to me for first started working clubs and adversely because that bobby- and I have it heads a million times because we're friends I dont know if I tell the story, the pie, guest, but one of my favorite and for the way in here with us in the man cave as my manager red. In in it's really good to me, then. Obviously this is your first time doing reads right: it's amazing to see alive. I feel like. I know you guys so well, but just being part of this gives it a whole new level when the preventive yeah

yeah that's pretty pretty untouched by the way we're trying to get my buddy my buddy Jake Snyder's in jail. I guess we can say that he's in jail. If he'd appreciate trying to quickly he's trying to call me from jail. I wanna have I want to talk to him he's one of my favorite comics well, my favorite guys wait. Why is he in jail? I'm gonna? Let jay share all that. I think does Jay's story to tell and I'm not just going tell her right now and then he goes you just sold everything bert, but on an and so is applied many years in jail at again kentucky counting. I believe your way of aerial genocide that day manly and I haven't talked to me, though, on the phone, I don't know how do you know he's in jail, because his ex wife render reached out to me and said he's in jail and- and he wants to talk to you- we once I guess in jail- you get depressed, and so he he is a great comic and he once some hope in his life

and clear, and so he's gonna call em we're gonna talk to him I'll. Do it in an intra will talk to him about what's on how we got there was jail like I've no jail for a long time an absolute love. Em is one of my favorite human beings. He so far the jail? For I don't know those were all questions that will be answered on the podcast when I do have a read with to help you prepare this jay. If you're listening to this and you're in jail, know that I love you and have always got your back js, but then I hear on my fortieth birthday, yeah, the man cave yeah. He got way too high and I remember that one Bobby Kelly is today's podcast. I was trying to say before this started, one of my favorite fights I've ever gotten into into with Bobby Kelly. I almost told her on two bears one cave one day:

well, it's my business manager is calling hang on hey LEO we're doing a podcast. Can I call you back? Okay, alright, go back, we went tubing in lake pal. Have you been tubing reg? I? Yes once okay in a yeah, but if you're not familiar, tubing. I grew up in florida and tubing is when you get an attitude this tied to the back of the boat. You know at the same length as water skier would be you hold onto the tube and then the person driving the boat can it takes on a while? crazy right and you get flung. I try to kill you yeah. They try to kill you Bobby Kelly. I never been tubing before so I give the bonaparte Bobby on the tube, and I start swing around like crazy, lab at Bobby, starts, lose his fine you're. What the fuck are you? What the thought and I could live him off and he not flip him off, but foot off the tube,

any bust alters. The doll which have been driver has the divers. God he's never been on a tube before writing from past and has never been too. So I bring the boat around and Bobby is fuming. He is the man S, I've ever seen him and he goes let me in that book. I'm going to beat the living fuck out yeah, so I just drive the boat a little further away from the moment. I go, I'm not letting you in the boat yeah he gonna get pulled over gave me the boat, I'm gonna beat what the fuck, as you know, by the way the events in Austria, map and frost are laughing hysterically like. Oh probably, I'm definitely not. If get better at all. Like I'm going to, let you win, let's keep you in the water until you cool off. I now that works about over here. I'd get in and abetting the fuck outta you I go Bobby, I'm going to keep circling and by the way, I'm laughing so hard. He goes. You tried to make me fall off and I go. I definitely tried to make you bob eagles. global part. I go Bobby and what is the point of tubing? You want to make the programme as it now is it

I just want to ride. I want to own a sightsee. I go okay bobby on sightsee and I go Bobby I'll. Tell you what get on the tube I swear to god. I will not, but I won't make you wreck I'll. Take you on a ride and I'll just be very straight and and all- and I won't make you bust- I'm sorry, I'm telling you having grown up on tubes. That's how we did it, but if you just want to ride on the tube, that's totally fine and he goes fine promise. You're not gonna. Fucking wreck me, I promise It's a target to Bobby is on the back of the tube and I go at like you know, twenty miles an hour very slow, just straight and Bobby's sitting back, there is a grown man sitting on a tube can looking around and then after. Like two minutes, you see him like thinking in his head and he goes. You can hear him from the back fuckin let me off you read me. This is very good that I recommend goes our. I just didn't know how to work with a proper bobby's one of my favorite

people in the world. He really is one of my favorite people in the world. We have a great podcast, we smoke a cigar and we talk await. Today's pot is brought you by blue apron, reduce blue apron We had a blue April last, I may dear again, window is fairer, and colored arose a great green. Oh my god, oh good routine. Did you know that? Well, I do not think it is approaching. With you worked with an ancient grain. You'd kick up the magic in your kitchen with new flavors and unexpected cold air combinations like pharaoh cause. They bring cecily inspire produce, step by step, cooking techniques and chef tested rats bees. At the beginning, reg when you make it into a blue apron you're, not just cooking you're, creating what I love about blue apron is it gives our family an opportunity not only to try new flavors try new food? we're combinations, try new meals, but to sit down and have a conversation.

I'm only home roughly three days a week and I'm tellin you those three days. We are blue apron and literally driving home. The girls gotta pick last night. What were the two options? Class, all meat, loaf, crest. Chris on me, oh no hassan hostile and saw a voice in the evelyn. Thank same then a voice in meat loaf or this chicken with a pharaoh and call greenville as a chicken. It makes you a better a better chef, in my opinion, because you learn things. They offer three plans that the two person plan, the four person family plan and the w w freestyle plan. That's like a healthy option, yeah. As far as for people trying to trying to count the calories. healthier like myself, I love blue apron and his exposed us too, like ridiculously delicious reps recipes and cooking techniques, that we never thought we'd know how to do with blue apron the hardest part of done for me. Cookin isn't a burn. In fact it's fun in the antarctic schedule she just literally plan what tuesdays or belabour nights today wednesday is monday

his day Monday thursday airlines will blue apron nights same thing same with blue April. We have time to cook delicious meals, because no meal takes longer really than thirty minutes, and every meal is cost effectiveness. In that you never gonna, spend more than ten dollars per person. I fucking love. Labour, and only the need to read the copy. I can tell it to you by heart there, they are our longest sponsor and I hope they sponsor this podcast as long as I do it because they are part of our family sincerely, a part of our family doug stand hope is to play. Our blue apron reads for himself in his car. Just a year, much wheeler blew it really. Do I swear to god. Does goofy, I have a question shoot. It is the food come in like a dry ice. How is how does it arrived? He has packaged in ice edge of his and Andrew. I, this fresh ingredient, those that are a dry cisely, is just afraid of frozen, delivered from fresh your door with

all the ingredients. You will need as a whole food and a beautiful recipe plan, a picture of what your meal should look like flip it over all the instructions you place it. What I do is I lick it and I place it on the window where our plates are and that's how I read the dress since, while I cook it is really easy, most most meals are are made in thirty minutes. Now. Nothing is prepared ahead of time, so you have to do all the chopping and all that stuff which is kind of eyes, because then you learn how to make food and, as buzz, do something as pre made you just kind of pop in the oven are still to this day. Could broccoli the way blue ever told me how to cook broccoli and qualify for a quarter it, and I put it in the oven with a little bit of olive oil, salt and pepper. It is on a bit I can try it for it is so frickin good start by making delicious brag worthy meals at your home without the hassle, by trying blue apron check out this week's menu and get sixty dollars off. When you visit blue apron dot com, slash per cast as blue apron dot com, slash bert, cast reg nis blue apron, I'm going to

a better way to cook you. Should you shouldn't have value it using? U s really really enjoy it. The art, tar, chicken and roasted squash lasagna, it's unnecessary. I don't know if it's israeli but a middle eastern spice, it was salsa verde or xo sauce really gadget using passed, a break bake cover, Letty capital, adding what you know I've been reading it. How do you know what it is as if my goddamn and I'm so stupid, roasted cauliflower saffron? Oh shit, Joey ds, eyeing on joey, I'm doing a pod cast into a red. Can I call you back? the critical call you let them go purchased my brother. Could you do a podcast with mercy, science and mercury tuesday at four? Oh brother? Alright, I love you Joey I'll talk to you later,

and that's why you listen the reeds everybody every now and then Joe ideas calls in it tells you do in a package with his daughter mercy. She said I love Joe ideas. I love. The idea is almost as much as I love my life insurance, this policy, this, guess who brought you by policy. Genius halloween is on the way, which means that time to break out the rubber spiders, fake, cobwebs and jacko lanterns. But if you ve got a family, you might be dealing with some a little scary right now and that is shopping for life insurance, wretched. You have life insurance I know- and I why now writing syria, you, don't I don't have it yet brow ravage the I know that's nice are we are first sons, a year old we I should have it right. I got on my brother, I gotta when ethically and got pregnant. I got life insurance lap here, get life insurance. Do you have to get like well? Which life church I get the feeling you live in a little

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do you need disability insurance? This october take the scariness out of buying life insurance with policy genius, go to policy genius, dot com get quotes and apply in minutes. You can do the whole thing right now on your phone policy. Gene is the easy way to compare and by life insurance. Those are our reads. I think we ve got a couple mid roles in their today, but you really love this podcast. You know in a why Bobby Kelly's anne, oh gee, when it comes to podcasting, His you know what dude podcast is one of the longest running podcast in new york. No doubt he is, he has created a place for new york comics to come and start podcast he's introduced me to a handful of colleagues like Christus I've, no tim dylan Joe list Bobby, would come have become an hostess progress and he thought these young guys and that's how I know all these guys through Bobby right now they're on tour, with the creeps with kids commodore. It's him rich boss,

run bennington and Jim florentine gems on the package last week and october twenty fit there in hunting to new york, the wilbur theatre, the twenty six october november. First count base. You did you know the count basis is up, person. I say that every time I didn't know that you didn't know red bank new jersey, I performed there and was like oh, this is a dude staten island on the second on the eighth or an eastern pa at state theatre. The fifteenth torrington connecticut go to creeps with kid tour: go to creeps with kids tour with a k creeps with K, dot com to get tickets. I absolutely all those guys speak of toward a year. I hear your boy burke crisis, is also on toward the body shots. World tour continues this thursday in virginia beach, at the sailors, Oh brother warming, arts to shows October twenty fourth in virginia beach is the second Joe

yeah boy shut up, Liane, just keep it rolling goddammit october, twenty fifth, I'm in baltimore for two shows october twenty six than montclair new jersey for to chose, And october twenty seventh on sunday, in hunting to new york for two shows cincinnati two shows columbus. Two shows chicago two shows for wayne fresno reno, las vegas, salt lake city, Cleveland, cleveland, cleveland, cleveland cleveland, and maybe cleveland cleveland. Are you in cleveland, coming cleveland? That's where I'm my special and, like I said we got a bunch of club, it we're adding into November those will be monday, tuesday or wednesdays? So, like I said, download my phone number, two zero three to three two: zero. Eight zero aid for poor. Send me a text get alert.

One tickets before anyone else. I think that's it really. I think. That's it anything else. No, I don't think so. Our dog is, he has cuddled up next to Lee, and this is the prettiest fucking sweetest goddamn dog. She is gorgeous red collapse. Congratulations on being on your first podcast, This was great. I was horrible and a knock and do it again, but thanks. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, my brother, my friend, stand up comedian on onto over the creature, kids door, public health-

I know very well. It is not without reason, which was also show you much larger father. I fight on so frequently as he has a problem, and I regret that he said that this is as it were, is wrong

I have a great rates of all games. Are these the people down there, what the hell but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're, wrong these great man, monte cristo. you gotta. What is it I wish my glasses. I can't see This is Dat's awesome. Does a beautiful, that's fucking Jesus the west spoke out data pebble beach and he goes buddy. I figure. I've got a cock in my mouth. I call this the wesley snipes because yeah Then will you let it gets on ashy like wes these penis? What have you What is now the others, a big boy? This is the top rail yeah right,

I love these. These are a real yeah. These are great he's. Like old cowboys, see these atlanta zeros, that's a landseer, ooh shit and then the bottom is just a shit show fuck. I get that too. What is it who gave you that wow, sometimes I put them in my mouth and then put them back in really dry succumb to what are these little fucking fucking idea? Why do they have a hp up on this? Is cuban kids? That's a cuban! Oh yeah! That's a really good cigar! Yeah! That's a really good! You were the one that told me about aging, so you want to smoke many years.

I used to let smoke what you got and then I got little ones got alright. You wanna smoke your whatever you, whatever you want to go escobar whatever you want to smoke that smoke that yeah these. These are great. I love this and I got little little ones. Man I got. I've been smoking. A little was real yeah because you know you can't smoke sometimes like to smoke between shows, and I don't like to waste the fucking great cigar. So I put these and I get these little ones right here, not that I have. I have a thing about. I smoke these way to fuck him fast, how race through them. I think it is then snobs are knobs. Are amazing, put those up knobs or a great fuckin cigar, because you get to that sweet spot, so

quickly nah, like that. You know that I rolled cigars and ybor city. Have you ever done that now there's a cigar role Class anymore city that I took their idea, I did, I would say that for travel channel, not fucking culture but the guy was explaining to me what he was. You know when you get to the cigar and you're, like god. I wish it would last forever right now yeah ago, django's, that's my palm a surreal, and he goes yes, my palm. What do you mean as the that's when you rolling a cigar. That's my problem is whether the like one role of cigar. That's my palm slick when you want a cigar, you take it and then you're like oh. I left my palm and I went really and he goes yeah. That's why you know certain cigars will enroll, better, better, the men I went really. If I went to hp, I think it's hp up up and not at noon and some, are a turf went days, one of their factories, one of them regional companies is right there and you can offer a tour of the factory,

really in a boar city and you go up. They take you up and you go into the active warehouses like this, for tobacco you walk in? It? Smells like ammonia, like your pass out, smells ex sheep shit, real fucking, terrible. But that's that's it. You know aging for animals, gordon for a long time now and then you walk in the room. It's all women rowan, so sexy debit they give the best hand jobs. I think something they dare faster too. They roll faster than men, their hands. I hand coordination is certainly that is as faster, the mega yeah, but he's on the same thing about fidel castro and jaeger. Her sitting in the mountains of cuba, smoking cigars and you know that teddy Roosevelt must have been like by way. I know my timelines off on this a big of the spanish american war,

your ears of ours fifties. This is an already love the cigar, but he was a sixties. Sprite sixties Cuba's ex these guys it again at present a teddy Roosevelt was writing rhinos Bertie Maurice deportees to Mr Bautista was a guy in charge. There are the basic I smells a guy. I think they're they're ebro, blue smoke other wake it so Kennedy such a piece of shit when I knew he was going to put the sanction the embargoes on on cuba. He gret, nor did a shitload of cuban cigars. His and he got em all before the embargo,

so he had his cubans. Everybody else was fucked you're, the other deliver a night out. I got you. This is a sponsor full podcast. I got you a broom makeup. These are the best fucking cops in the world. Broom it yeah. They haven't been a sponsor for awhile, but I still use them. The great were the lacroix lacroix sent me twelve cases of lacroix really good and they were like they were like hey, just a fan and a drink deals and soda. Try it with lacroix and fuckin. Lacroix are all great for a cigar. It is it's like refreshing yeah, especially when you have like your fucking seconds away from diabetes, so I can't drink a coke which I love a cover. The cigar puzzled lifted her glove real, quick. Let's talk about diabetes, wanted you fall in love with cigars did I feel What with could you, Smoker I searched moment. I was ten and I smoke I was fifteen when I got sober

When I went into rehab when I wanted, I quit smoking to people you smoke. If you're gonna keep going, I spoke to pack day roads. I smoked a lot. I smoked reds from ten to fifteen pack, two packs day and then when I got show by quick everything for like fire, years I quit, I was just do it. I was so ay with the same meetings for five years like I started meetings. I had a meeting that I started with. Big thing. In my life because I went through these meetings and then around for years in I was the start. My own meeting, you're, not alone and you're. What like seventeen now. It was eighteen just that round around there in nineteen, twenty somewhere and idealism, and I remember found the church. I talked to the priest. I got the room, I got a coffee pot. I see I got

well, that you know we started out as we like? Four people showed up at the first meeting and you know one up had spoken. It got bigger and bigger and bigger, but you know I'm still a fanatic, as I had to girl- that was sober and she would come. She come into the meaning, and then we see you now night, my fucking stupid, shitty self esteem here's this amazing thing that I did. I start this meeting its helping like it went from like for people to like twenty people coming to this meeting in their getting help and hang in the broad behind the curtain on the stage in a church after after the meeting in saying what he might do it just a piece of shit. It's, I never call attic behavior, but I know I call it attic baby

in my head, I never said out loud, but I have definite attic behaviour more so with my phone and food Food food is phone right now is fuckin terrible. For me, I have a very, very, very difficult time controlling food. dude food right now? For me, I came this the first time I came to allay- and I said fuck it. I said, I'm I'm I'm oh yes, I m an enjoy myself with eating fly. Getting the plane in coming here. Every time I come here for all twenty years has been a sigh the logical nightmare for me, because no how in shape I was. I knew what I was landing. I was gonna be fat. I was going to feel fat just gonna, be fatter than other people around me. So and then I know I know what you're feeling, because I feel is too and I and I don't think I think people here that brush off

but didn't realize is actual, is very real yeah! It's like it's not! You know take time there there's a period of time where I didn't want to go to the store, because I didn't want to hear people don't call me fat did. I was home last night, you're still a fat fuck. I am like I didn't meetings yesterday. This is the first time I said: I'm fat, I'm fat fuck, you I'm just fat. That's me, I'm fat fuck! You I get it there. I should do more. I get it! I should do. should eat this. I get it there's a way out. I get it, I'm gonna die, I get it I get it. I gotta go fuck you, in fact I just rolled and all these meetings. Fat- and I would have ferko. I got dumplings before a meeting yesterday at at effects. I mean a full them. Some I was bloated when I'm just like? There are certain things that a be. I really hope

I hope I knows what can I do? In fact by hope people are skinny who just bless your balls. Your friends There are certain things that I would not eat before meeting, because to go in both because it in my head, the extra pounds a waterways? More noticeable, that's not why you're not gonna get it I was on the meeting as in and I were I swear to god. One of the guys is looking at my stomach like an end, but here's the thing: do you know the feed like even last night I went back to the room and I'm becoming Stay in and I talked ari at birth- was gone in the store and I should go- the store why the fuck what's wrong with me, Why wouldn't I go to the store or pop in like it's, never fucking been puppet yeah and I fell asleep at I, and then I had this fear. Like I was going to die in my head, I'm like this, I'm gonna fuckin die. This is stupid, and I literally got up as it I'm just going to store I'm fat. I want to go. there would have a shit. I have I'll deal with it. I'm just

It just is what it is man, because I've not trying to do now is to come here and not go. The last factory in Gaza I was hanging I'll ask that at that time you know with day It was always in shape. You know, yeah ro, vantages, chubby bob and a double acts. and even jamie with your body again to the body, and it's like oh come on are the last thing you need to hear is that you gain weight. I have lost twenty one pounds yeah, I'm waiting for someone to say something that doesn't either I watch you and I don't. I don't understand what whom leg? I don't. I think god's might have made you cause. You don't make sense. Definitely don't make sense. You know make sense like I look, I'm chubby and I know the german sure things, but you you jump on a fuckin treadmill. Undue miles.

I did hot spin this morning's. I knew I wanted to have cigars with you, and so I woke up at seven thirty and did hot spin class for an hour. It was fuckin beasley, right and it's a hundred reason there. It's a full spend glass and the whole time. I thought I want to earn my cigar. yeah I mean I used to, but I've had that in my life like this morning I woke up and I'm like I'm going to walk to the bakery and because I was going to bring some stuff here so I walked. Three blocks the bakery, but I walked out member china push it. I was. I push My my legs here and I got there and I got a chocolate croissant and I was like I deserve this, but it it it's amazing what I say I deserve Don't worry I worked out. I deserved, couple Tito's insiders and then foreign someone's like get other doubles and that's like too I galleries as a real dude. Do I it for me Honestly, weight loss is connected directly to drinking his drinking

Those are my liver, liver processes, fat and, and I get a fat. liver and all of a sudden everything just halts. I maintain away, and so have I, when I start again and I'm working on being healthy or even just stop drinking. I start losing weight august. I drank eight times maybe maybe nine times, and I lost twenty one pounds, and so it's that's it for me. You know I went to the I just got back from cardiologist for time he's ever said, hey for real. We allow the first time he's ever said. We lose weight he doesn't like going others way. Suddenly, drinking whatever the first time he was like: hey you've got a fatty, liver, you're, going to beginnings, beginning stages of a failure, but I've never had one. My entire life seems like it's obviously just starting to get a stop it now and dude I who's the first time I felt I felt like oh this. I can't just run this to the

Roll off leg just got the same thing. Really I've got sending. Everything was fine. Everything was healthy. at my at a fatty liver. I have not crazy and then he called me obese, which made me want to punch him in the face cause, there's a way. There's a total like that. That's the n word. The fat people mean enough yeah, in Oklahoma. I mean it is ideal. What do you think of that? So yeah you don't call me obese, such a devastating. It says, there's so many levels before. If I had been up from this table that you have me when I would attack you did, I do still time may show. I I'm not a it'll be should be another there's. A different thing deserve certain. During guys who I know that they they say is that that means you're. Not it's not your body because, like

I I I really honestly to fifty eight was the biggest I've ever been to date, and that was the beginning of august. I'd love to be two. Fifty eight to fifty eight for me arose call me asian because at my face gets swollen, and I just I look, I do location and I didn't and that's when I noticed it even even more normalcy. Yesterday he was at me with me at my fattest and when I was touring in europe now and he goes dude, you look at something changed. I thought I lost one one pounds cause now: it's your skin and I went oh fuck twenty pounds. Europe has a great idea, but but but I'm goin on the road to this weekend, and you know that were You get in and there like area pieces for the tour you like guard again. I know what it is to some people. Can some people do that shit They just turn it on and they its. I guess it's that, like you used to be drawn,

used to be out of the hall, and then it was sacks for a long time. For years. Back in my twenty sex was my: thing. It was my release that I could do come They do shows me. Girls have sex, do all kinds of weird shit you now in some shitty apartment in the east, village, walk out, get an aids test and then start all over again another man and and then, when I, when I met my girl, I decided to get my shit together It was our that's when I started no wait and the one I had. The kid is a guy I haven't, been able to get it off since a key I've always wanted to go to the gym and drop twenty pounds like thirty. thirty days are like two months at fucking, be back kinda where people were like. Do you look good? Are you going to? I have, this to you that you going do it this time. like I don't know, I'm a fanatic, You tell us how he added you gonna do this time. It's I do it's worse than heroin.

I think, it's worse than a drug addiction. cause. I have to do a little bit everyday, it's not illegal. It's not! That does no cops. Gonna, kick your door down we're gonna going you tore bus and smack fuck impedes drag your mouse lot past three in the morning. Pizza does it. For me, pizza is good pizza and we know what we just bought, because we're going to kansas city and buy pizza dave know Dave williamson, my opener. We have a smoker on the bus. We travel with He just bought a a a seven wagyu brisket he's freezing it in his bag and flying it didn't it is like the movie feta cheese heavy ever get a jelly down and suck the jolly out this up. the honeyed you. What do you think? What I don't have an answer for this? I am of ida. Maybe I do I've always said I need I would like to

to a rehab, not for booze before lifestyle owing to teach somewhat. Somebody teach me how to slow down enjoy the moment. well, I've been actually trying to do that. Lately, I seem to be gone real fast, and I blame that on the kid. I think I have a kid You actually have something that is showing you time physically, and so you cellular it's like you know. You look down other cities, this nice tyler is say there is a gap is well fuck in six years is flew by. but another thing that has really sped time up for me. Is this fuckin? This thing right here is sped because I used to have hours of downtime? I used have passed our twenty minutes, two hours three hours of downtown. Have no downtime. Now because

any time. I'm sitting by myself now anytime I'm I'm with you know on a car or on a pull any and in it that I'm looking at your life get everybody's life and other set an hour goes by and I did you two. Watch nine videos and had a fuckin, your dog, to heel. I know how to make a fucking chicken coop. I know how to fuck and I assure you I saw everything about your mom norman. I know a gym. Norton is all that shit and then I facebook this my family by two hours whereby, like that if I didn't do any of that, and I just what I used to do as a kid or as a young adults before the stuff, I should just be in my head. I used to look out a window and time would slow down, down, but I called out boring, but it's not boring. It's fuckin life. It's like an that's when I started in about shit, and I would actually talk to myself and figures. Shit out

no figures shit out anymore. Because I'm watching twenty four hours of life any Second, I have downtime there's no catching up with anyone anymore, there's no like seeing so many go. So I meant tell me: how has everything been no. I saw both over smoking a cigar. The recently I was up that mustache debugger, and then you like, all of a sudden like what the fuck am. I doing. I am I'm eavesdropping on people's lives. The I've been. I love it. What do I look? We run book, I love ass. We know it is. He speaks either I did I love like I love it, but I've dude watching your tour star, for I love my car. There is shared and when he lost post stuff when every does solemnly are like our nice url than every once in a while will pose somethin you now you like, You know other than his podcast

you'll see something you know very a little glimpse of it and it's like. Oh that's cool, but yeah. There is no. I don't I don't like text messaging dude. I fuckin hate it. I take my my culture are pal. It's like to just call me yeah. I don't want to fucking, I don't wanna. He's a leg, texture, Hugh, shied, I'll I'll I'll, call him and he won't answer com again and again I was up a monarchy game and I go just went off to you and a girl came to say If you text me- and I got a reply because he he just- I think he operates Joe diaz- wouldn't will not ex people that's great if he got cocker you, my friend, you fucking call I'd love to be fragile. Yes, you are you not friends, you do it, I'm not. Of course I do, but I don't know like we talk to each other. You know like ireland so good. I love that. I love talk and why the fuck would nigh to all the conversation, we'll have a twitter if it business or whatever you it's gonna, be over quicker. If I just talk to you, if you,

mommy just go. Do. Can you do this now? I can't do this. Ok with that by a set of fuck him back and forth the nice bow shit wrong and I get a fuckin deleted. None I gotta and there you go dude. It's not your! It's your yeah, but I love fuckin time. one of my friends and nobody talks anymore. I feel like an old I feel like an old guy shoot me shit is the the girl It is thing ever with a friend of yours. That, I think, is the only reason my podcast like I mean the only reason our podcast is sorta. I can talk to people as

I would I would never. I probably would never speak to anybody. That's weird! That's crazy! Yeah! That's a weird thing like podcasting is like this weird. I guess that's the only one I talked to my friends who is on my podcast when we sit down for a couple of hours and just shoot the shit. I remember talking to rogan one time I was like bro. I started telling him something and he goes through. This is too good saver for podcast his podcast next week and I was like alright and then we got on the podcast. We talked for three hours. Actually at that time we ended up talking for five. I have hours and got done. I was like I'll talk to you in a month like by c rogan at the store I see rogan and bird, the store and I'll catch up with them. But if I go to the store I'll catch up with people, I saw were last night. He was at, he goes, come down or whatever and I went upstairs and he was on the roof, smoking a cigar and that thing, which is amazing by I've. Never been up there, you know down on a dead I walk they took me up this day was a good

fellows. I realise how big the story is by the way I got it's fuckin massive and the fact that their filling it now like when I lived here to what, whenever fuckin in two thousand to ninety ninety nine like that place, was empty, didn't data d and to think how big it is and it was empty back then that's crazy, but now it his pack is like so two souls on the hallways, packed with celebrity comedian, crazy, like in the hallway in the hall, and then I went out stairs and we're on the roof and we just sat there smoked cigars and just fuckin shielded talk shit for an hour. half of them can go about their tonight. I've a fly about friday night to Kansas city yeah and I'm doing a podcast with ari this afternoon where he wants to drink, and I was thinking of doing that, making the girls dinner packing and then getting the car to take me to the store and having drinks there and just relaxing cause. I get I get. I get anxious if I sit at my house waiting for my car as if everyone's

even the sitting there going I'm fucking two more hours until I do the same thing. I d rather be at the airport at a lounge yeah I'd much rather get to the airport, two and a half hours early and relax jump. Everyday anxiety get get get my ipad up, download my nephew, movies, right and then gore animal set make cocktail. Well, oh I do the same thing. I remember when I went to denmark with ari. I should have three hours early cause. We were in the I think, lift towns and sweet that which is amazing. Why would I What? Why would I not go there? They have risotto yeah while the fuck. Would I not go to that lounge. You have a special surprise. I was there. He showed up as the flight morning there or broken are these are these are he's just a very, very different individual? Can I tell you what my favorite fucking thing to do? Is I get jealous of them, though I I get jealous in the way that he gets to live.

life that there are really no parameters on nah. I guess you know I'm going to go to switzerland for two extra weeks yeah, but we I he doesn't get depressed like. If I was insulin I could do that, but I would be depressed like I did when I did my last australian tour. I was like I'm going to take my time with it and enjoy australia. My family wasn't with me. I was missing out on my family and the whole time. I was like getting up going. Alright, I'm gonna run and then I guess I'll go do something and yeah, twenty or twenty it rain, and also thank god. They got a minute. use a lay in bed, but you are jealous of ari gift gather that disease is one of them wanted. I may for the second. I met him years ago. This guy's cool how'd. You meet him. He was just at the improv one night when back when he was fuckin a lunatic use. Rogan. I think I met a mother. I met him at there and who I just I just liked. im from the second, I mademoiselle like this guy

eliza, weird fuckin. Do I like them? The second. I met him. Yes, can. I met areas, a guy like this guy and those p well. I guess he's an asshole people? I was with labour, will enable all of the paper and are you already has worked a whole day by the way you didn't here. I was thinking about this today or a tells it like. It is always done that. He doesn't know another way to do it like you. Just does it, and sometimes it's at the peril of losing friends forever, but there are a lot of The common, I was just say no martin, nor there are comics. That said to me, I won't folly honest on instagram cause you'd post about already yeah yeah, but here is one thing I like about our betray said the same thing in not everybody has us. when he's wrong he'll go. That makes sense your right. Ok, I can agree with that. All right, yeah. I was locked up as another one about gasogene spoken to him directly come out you fuck you peter

shit, you're an idiot, blah blah, and then you go yeah, but this is why the ok that makes our europe laboratories you do said dick. We should just fuck and try to annihilate. You would southern you billy gabbett, this initiative. I write your mother fucker good point. He made The point is that I agree with the and not to me People do a lot of people who just fuckin they just double down. Fuck you and then ten years later, I remember that time we got in a big fight, yeah yeah. I was wrong. It's a guy good. We just lost ten years of our lives, but that's cool I don't know your kid's name, but that's your kids fourteen, but that's cool that some people do dude. I get, I get fuckin think about what we did. but I think about. We were single single nobody and then some point. We met this woman right, because we are wives very similar data like there school wives there there.

Strong women, but they like having a strong man too. You know they mean like the very soon similar in the same way, actually look alike. Huge, weird nerd, like you've, never been on instagram now, never no. Never. She wants nothing to do with it. I know yeah though, she wants nothing to do with it regarded asleep, I don't you, we don't follow each other jail fallen now. my wife doesn't follow me on anything, really now show here stuff from France. But she don't shows it hurt. She has no clue and does not give a fuck what I do on the social media. She gets it. She understands, but she wants nothing to do with. But before I forget the thing I was gonna tell you on airport. In the dallas airport, they have micro sweets like little hotel rooms inside the airport. There, like forty five,

and you can go into a room. That's all yours shut the door, there's a tv like a flat screen and a bed and a couch and a fridge, and you can go get food and go and you can just be by yourself rearing. I love them so much there so great and have you at all I ever done now and have you jacked jack, often one. Why is it always lies lily? Kids? We forget almost fifty as I did that I believe that cameras cameras here then, are we ever I'm wondering if there's gonna be important. My life, I feel like my grandfather, there was a the point where he was like: I'm not jerking off anymore. That's childish! Like I can't picture my grandfather gone I'll, be back just cranking one out in the bathtub I feel like this. I mean I'm one or does it get me a point? Where am I gonna do that anymore? I wish I were

Why don't I hate that I did yesterday jerked of yesterday and we have an app where I can tell where everyone is so like it. I like three sixty and I can follow everyone, so I go on like this. Sixty and I start you know what it started with. I swear to god. I started I'm in the pool and and I get done hot spin- I take my pants off- I get my hoes out and start sprang out my gear like wash rents it out and host drops in the pool still go in. And it just grazed my dick and I went alright, I'm jacking off, and so then I go. I look at the app to see where everyone is I'm like georgia, the school I was at school and I was like huh. The un's been in pasadena since eight thirty, I go there, that's a campi, maybe men updated so go to the bathroom I'm in the bathroom jerking off? I hear the dogs barking and I go awry It's a race like that

can I just would like coming up? I just bit his exuberant. Where did you yesterday I went back to the hotel room. I forget hey jerking off now, it's such a name enemy. I just the process because I have to. I have to go to those, certainly liddy dot com, it's the only whether they like I broke my gun a long time ago, dude. I have to find a certain scenario like a friend's mom got me the things there really is. There really is like. If you see ass, I saw us he read had the other day we were, she was like a waitress or whatever He wasn't working abroad and she had a loose fitting shirt and I just caught a glimpse of the side, and I was like all right- I'm googling I wish I could go. Are we sure, as an american take a picture her and then it would blink me up to a porn star, look just like her and then I'm like opening up I've ever your doktor red had borne nome. scouring the internet for redhead born. Given that sets a weird thing. Is you type in red

had you know, read: have red head handcuffs kidnapped and it it's something will come up earlier. Sat more come, I said about, I said so. There's someone yesterday ago, as we have a new populist color with poverty, and I was just so end cuddling with this puppy in bed- and I was like I was like someone's head- will fuck their dog and then I was like There's gotta be someone that's into accept. You think it people have done it. so and then I'm, like god, dammit man what's wrong. If I'm just a regular guy limit, like a guy, I don't think guys. Fuck dogs, I think girls. I guess that's what whoever I was talking to said that They bought growth. I've seen that I've never seen a guy like a dog at anyone. google? It that's so alpha? Male, though you know that dog is always going to be his wife, Doug! Listen to everything. You say it is a fact that you don't have anything every dog seize on watch. You know a partner yeah. I fuck you fuck! You keep going do yesterday.

when I finally took everything off and I had the ipad go and fuck it. Everybody called everybody called you. U texted me, I mean everybody was just texted me colony, and then literally when the kids best friends mom. I can't do this and grab and when face time from myself, and I had to make a choice as egg. Israel, so I I switched. I I just quickly grab everything I pull my underwear up. Just you know, and I hey buddy. I urge you to get it you're right and then and then How do you go back? I can't go back I I mean I did go back

five. Do we have five minutes just to get my head back in one of my biggest fears is someone's going to grab the webcam and just post, like you know they did that with girl, aaron Andrews. Nor was she was look sexy, but in the other, the exact opposite of just a shot of me jerking off and then people will add in different sounds one jerking off and become a meme of me facing it with readers on the other. We readers ever readers moment enjoy it. Do you know they do now which get the fuck out of me? What the almost got me too, I would to an old email, because I had to change your password. They went to this old the email that I did and I started reading the emails and it was saying hey we know what you do we ve been watching you, we have your PA ass word and it had my password to one accounts I don't know what it was: a good old password. That is

still active on old shit, I dunno what it was. We know what porn you watch you sick, bastard and we're gonna tell release it to everybody, you're hot they like time All the stuff idea like they knew all the point. I watch all the websites I where do, which dude you now, if oh yeah partnerships gotta able to track it. Well, I made us What's in fact of shit and are not, giraffe put to you know. Could somebody in some programs in really fucked up shit yeah, so you know. I mean so our sitting haven't. I was it, you know what fuck it I wrote back. Tell em dad Elam hey mentioned my door dates which bears a great part about living in tonight's. Nobody goes We are now like. If somebody was I dare you jerk off to fuck an old men and chickens. But there are, but there are that there is a need part of society that doesn't know about poor in the way we know about born so we're moving.

lions best front at the time of her husband, there were engaged and they were like we had to move them out. Would you help- and I was like yeah, of course, so I go to help and they found a magazine and they're like they're, both like floored sitting on the couch not doing anything I go on. Let's go, let's go and they're like we just found kiddie porn in his fucking room, and I was like: are you serious goodrum ended the guys I am a kiss fucking kiddie porn and they're like yeah, and they show me magazine as as barely legal, and I went oh guys, that's nothing and they're like what- and I was like that- I was like oh my god yeah we found kiddie porn, other he's a pervert. It's it's early yeah! It's have one of that! One of the click bait. Things is teen team fucked, her boyfriend, you know there yeah I mean look type it. I don't really try type and teen. I would never type of things I have two teens, so it's rich really close to home. I would never type in team fuck. Is he pigtails voc that pig

I was going to have same backpack you just bought at target. was broken. Lady born my wife was hot one was sciatica, I got to watch a chick with varicose veins and flabby elbows. Every minute also gets a hot flash during blow job ha. Oh, that's going in yeah we give our clothes during. That does not stop. and called out in front of a fan. Yeah, my mother, my wife ro play for a long time and she finally came she's like we can do it and ah she had now fit she came out. She came out of school graph. It feels good enough at school.

that would that actually would have Jeremy on that would have if she came out of fugu with with flippers in a fucking scoop out. She came out the the love it now my what? What? What are you doing? I get the pedophile. I don't like school. Girls and are funded jurgen out. If I leave you, if this gets headache, I am I yeah she has. I not bad, that you bought a backpack, she had a little a little dress, a little thigh highs. She had a lollipop lollipop, oh my god. This does nothing for me to try that one. back up a guy like now

and ever forget give up, he was over the fire, Google glad of it. I just come. Southern lawyer objects in europe god mobile. You can't do this on texting. Sat in there. You can find the taxing. I hate it it's funny, because sex now I am a sex back in the day was so fun sex. Now, as I go. Second. Why we're doing this? To get adult groups that's what we should be doing it regulation. We have done a while, as they arise that we lie there for a minute. Then, when you kiss me first that the cases egg I know a lot about. What's going on around like an it gets out

that I said that I am going to put my finger. My wives, mouse you'd, like tell them to shut out. Why would you do that got me were lying in bed I mean I was I had this dream- those fuckin the check off the butter, the indian We know that on a beautiful anyone that the labour like that- and I am glad it's nothing ah three avi. I was by this river owes a great ass in those lily. She was by the river clayton cleaning clothes. see the potatoes back, but that is cleaning something and I walked up and We started kissing. Kid is beautiful,

the pigtails and all that and we went back in or fuck dp and will make it out I woke up and I was make it out my wife. She probably come over to me. I touched And in the dream I start kissing her real in real life. I was master. I will me and my wife were fucker. like like a tina if I had an eye and she was into It- and I was like fuck I fuck my wife so so I have, but I was like I wanted it sellers so, but have we baby listen? I was sleep Could you could you go get some butter? but it was so fucking it was so crazy. Then we had sex and I was like oh, my Heavens, of dice. In the other hand, with a pretend you work in a casino the

and one time they took a pole dancing class with her friends like her friends would put build a podcast hot. It is until use. I mean I've seen like obviously professional strippers yeah and then your wife does it and and your dislike or you never could have been as like. It was so funny that I was like and she was trying to be. You could see her trying to be sexy right weep. I bought her in. I was in utah with some comics and we went to eat and next door was a sex lingerie shop, and I thought you know what I'll do with Leanna. Never going to a hotel room for three days, write a script, and so I said I'm going to get I'm going to get three outfits for leanne to put on, and then you know just to spice it up every night it'll be something different right. I think I got myself something you're going to outwit the I got an outfit as a fucking dick hanging out of a speedo or something I dunno who it did not good on me. It didn't even fit me, but

came out and it was I gotta go ass. It was it was. It was the reason I married her that didn't I I know when I met her would be the reason I needed her cause. She just it did not. It was ill fitting as fuck she sausages out of the side and she's like what do you think? just like pausing, you get it off guard yards the weird thing man it's like, but we were point. Once again we have the fox soon cause this guy the way we were not fuck again, like I think I'll just go altogether and just not fuck, there's people to do that? I had a friend you did that wanna get to that point. I want to fuck again, you know, but I this book called kosher. Kosher suture was by rabbi add on on sex made so much sense to me because it is a unique stop watching porn. You need to stop.

But he goes. You also need to stop walking around naked together. She Just stop just being shirt was in front of you. She need to stop in shit in front of your being in front of you, because all that does is desensitize you to her body No, she doesn't show if you don't see her tits for half a fee weeks or months there, see noisier taken a shit if, if she can like when you first met Then when you see her tits and if you haven't seen tits then you see her tits for the first time. It's like you have the new tits lang. You get. You get arouse the gatt agreement always get around this evening after three or as problematic because see their comic gimme right there, just

me too, but I I just matter how I get grapefruits, but I always garage. I had a jewish guy. Tell me one time. You know the key to happy marriage marriages and what he goes. Don't touch him. What do you mean? There's don't touch them. Don't touch them, don't touch her for like three days, don't even touch her, don't touch her and then come up and slowly graze. Her back and she's like he like his the problem, is you know you he goes. You touch him so much then one day, if you just don't touch him and then come up with the and he had the idea, and it's almost like that made sense. I quit jerking off when I was doing bert the conqueror I quit jerking off for the whole run of it, and I was I was like I want to see. If I could do it and just have sexual than I was I would come home like a fucking throbbing cock like like were We do this now would help what time of the kids get back picked up yeah. I think I think it it does make sense because You go on the road and I was just it sucks navigator

jerk off at the wrong time. Then I'm I'm I'm an ado check them. Now, it's twelve! but the two shows up in the room, and now what am I to deal? Watch fucking discovery channel watch, fuckin, alaskan somethin. In its view, how do you pass it on? sober on the road, because that's my biggest struggle we're starting sober october next week- and I am I Whenever we done so rock to obor, I've been very select not going on the road I'll do one week just to make sure we can pay bills. But now Like I'm doing everything weekend in October yeah and I was like what is it? What does one do? It's it's hard, it's hard because you don't and it's hard dude is lonely. Fuckin, really lonely. I I can get depressed that shit, ain't fucked up with that shit when I'm trying to You must go to the gym and replace it with a negative break with the positive brick

the gym you'll feel good about yourself. I still have the addictive fucked up shit. That makes me want to feel good right I think the one thing that I did do that house was found something to do in that city you're, always good at doing activities like we're going like going like, like give it I was just going to cigar bar and meeting new people I I will find a place. That's why kind of save my life a little bit, because I will go I've. A cigar bars to me everyone's different. the personalities you're always different I'm are different and I love to go in because you sit down, very nineteen, fifty to me because our it down a light up a cigar, and some the guy next to me, although what got any you hawkins spoken. a comic I'm not doing. He doesn't

fuck about any of that start. Talking. Excuse me, sorry about that. but in all of a sudden I'm in this conversation I know I was in a wheel, was a candidate somewhere, and I went to this. Garbine, it was all black dudes. There was a you know, oldest the symphony I went to one. I went goddamn it I was just at this place. I went to scarborough iowa goddamn it. I think it was there. Two bobby- and it was all black- do our black. He was a goose I animal house when they walked into fucking nightclub! and I, when I walked in and I just sat down with them I was in an answer to exerted chicken fingers. because you guys want me to play down and they're like now a good but but I was suddenly started talking to me and then I sat down with them. They made me laugh like did even those comic. I laughed like I like hang out withstand ups, these four Eyes were fucking kill in it in a room,

the motherfuckers yeah anna. At the end of a deal like what are you doing, you think I'm a comic they like you have a set of then yet mother fucker, I had the best time ever, I may never see those guys again but I had that like day with them where I met all these guys and I met all these people and I found it. I had a blast, that's what cigar bars to me a great for me, because I get to go out but also find something to do The problem is, I love food. You now I have to go to like the best rahman. Do you When you go to a city go, I I had to stop doing it because I was going to fucking die my feet, like I remember when that I was in my house, and my feet felt wet like and my toes were numb. Oh I've had numb toes, have had numbed to the nature of a numb toes where you start going. this forever, god, oh god, I'm gonna go, take a walk, the casino none now you're gonna do a job you motherfuckers scariest shit cause. You know it's county body, oh I will

it's a bali and I drank the whole fucking flight ate like a fucking lunatic, get there eat like a lunatic eat, ice cream of Ila, go back to a room, I'm gonna sneak out and get ice cream again right, come back wake up and my left leg, Well then, I'm like, oh my god. I had a stroke in the middle of the night, and now this is my forever and I was up all fucking night and then went to the gym that morning and it went away. Came back, I do and I was like I was like god I I started running on that tour. I ran a five k every single day regardless go and just, and then I found out of Sai sciatica, might but my ass chico hurt my lego. Herman lego go nominates. And I remember so funny with someone tells you something and you go. Oh yeah. I got that, that's what I'm gonna do they think have ever been. hit pretty hard and I go. I played professional football for a day and I remember after then anytime. I yawned my leg would shake like any time. It's got a stretch like you know you get manually,

hold my lego, but a little. I would guess that's going to happen forever, cause you got hit by that guy they're got fucking, destroy by football player, greatest episode ever the greatest episode- but I think be another road. It is it's a hard thing because yoga from one extreme to the other. Do you walk off stage? people are going nuts. Are you just made people after an hour. Maybe two shows, and now you do with it It's too this fight, that's! Ok! crazy, that's it crazy rock star thing, and then you get it a bus and How do you? How do you keep their going? How do you like do is whispers you cut it off. Sondra him bill for a couple shows that's great It is one of those over great guy that there is great guy craig like talk, compensate forever, you with him and funny show you I mean. Do be another rosa me am, I am by myself. You'll bring anyone can afford it. There ain't fuckin nigel funny,

yeah for to bring a viagra. I mean, unless he's going to work for fuckin. You know I can't afford a bringer. I can. I can afford to bring on a leica m c from Houston. I dunno man yeah. That was the. I was a a really tough pill for me to swallow when I, when we started when we did the first theatre tour and they were like naming the first series with the first started round of the of of clubs that were like a higher ticket price sold out ahead of time and they're. Like you know, you should really bring your own feature with you, but you gotta fly them out, put em up a lot of money and then I was like I was hold on. I don't have to do that because I've always believed in supporting local comedy, yeah and and letting the people who are the ace enrichment come in and have a great weekend where they perform to a sold out crowd and meet them cause those usually the guy's a move delay. So many guys. I met on the road and on friends with now, just because I

went to their city and worked with all of us worked with shame gilan jealous in in philly, here's a sweet guy! You, the fun gotta, be around us billy. This silly comics we're all great guys down to party with yeah. I just I. In the last couple years I started like doing that more because that you know did I go into a club and the guy that they would have in front of me would just be terrible and is like fuck. I gotta work with this shit dick all week, and its and then they get ninety shirts and I'm One time I was like dude, you shouldn't tell issue, don't don't do this, you don't don't do the t shirt because you have to do that bit for the rest of your life. Now you have to close with that bit: yeah mean you know how you gonna grow. If at the end of every show, you have to do that bit. I teach surely topic asking me personally well, but doing you have challenges I gotta get? It goes right. Man you're am, I doing

tomorrow I fuckin doing the job. I was like this watching his sad is doing to get to the end. He did another teacher yet another t shirt you a moment he held up. Another t shirt goes, I got but we are willing to do so now I work with them. Now I agree with you. I think it's I like that comedy getting big issue right now and you gonna these towns and cleveland. I gotta clean in the car. They are so fucking great show. I do have one night there and they jump on the show- and they but they also help put together, show like bill. Squire, squires amazing. One of the funniest fucking guys ever and he'll help very in one of the things not to cut you off. One of the things I love about bill. Squire is he's very he's. Woke at all, but he's very heart felt in a very sensitive guy and if you are telling a joke, that's a little fucked up. You more correct! You have just said hey, hey Joe got just give you another side of it, another angle and an early

bill, squire, he's, fucking granary, funny idea, and but they the it's like a like his fragile coming in some of the other guy's got on the show and its I'm also less scared. Now, do let's be honest, I I can fly. I really do comedy and not be scared of who else is on the show like There was a lot of time when you go from, no being or whatever you want become a real headliner. When you can just go up, and do an hour, no matter where there's only there's very few people, that can do that. That can go do an hour of comedy that is fucking hilarious, for an hour anywhere. the time after anybody do you feel like you are. I feel like this. I know MIKE. I have a hard time calling MIKE kelter called I called calvet had always got can't. I have a hard time. Switching over

but cow had feels like this. Gary gorman- and I was just talking about this yesterday burn I brought this up. First reason I dont know what it is. You turned a corner, a comedy where its ike now, you're doing what your voice done, but there's a thought. There's a thought behind what you're doing there's a path us yeah and your murdering harder than we are We're senior murder and now, when comedies up here you mean, theoretically your poised to pop, when you did too orgasm mundane, but you you, you didn't, for whatever reason: You just you, went back in double down, got on their own ay the end, then that was huge bubble of fucking great comedy but it wasn't where we're at now now, but now I think you're the guy. That is, that one special yeah that one special that will fucking send you over the edge, it's so funny to say, but you can't like if it was five years ago, I could probably get one but

how safe we can. Now it's it's! A! U cant, unless you know, that's gonna change with with this new streaming war. He thinks I owe you others too. I just saw the list of who are out there looking to buy specials and you're going like twelve different people. Now twelve different platforms are looking to put specials out now, you're like oh. This is going to. I think when it was one when it was just netflix their responsibility to represent everyone might idle fought them at all. For that, I think, because that they gave pops to people who were I've had to struggle when it was just comedy set you no one. It was kind of enrichment of time, but I think I think things are gonna change drastically. I think I'm hoping my special comes out before then, but yeah, it's a weird thing right now, but I I think this last year, especially as I got on this their employer, we'll I got who gives I don't care anymore. I care care about that shit. I can't care about who? What, where I

come here and do this sat and try to make it better and try to make is awesome as I can. I get too much work to do. in this hour that I have to worry about what the fuck you're doing and whose there so it's like fuck it like Joe. You workin on our right now put together. Now that I had an hour is the weird thing I've had it. I had an hour two years ago. So my hour after my special that I did with serbia code life from the village underground, which I will I loved. I love that special fucking great after we did that two years have a year and a half an hour, and I couldn't get a special can get one so I went and it became something else too. Now have my hour is,

is evolved into sap mouse. Is this the stuff? I saw you working on the cow on the coward cruise yeah, that's a fucking great! I was. I couldn't follow it you folly talking about. Are you fucking kidding me? I mentioned your first three jokes. As my for three tasks now, did you fuck amerika? What kind of the voting machine is it my journal body to different then fucking following your? I did a little different bug and just following you, but I'm going to have to fucking two new dudes know that that that that that new stuff you're working on is just but here's the thing like you, you do stuff right, you feel good about it and if you feel the same way, but I'll just have this, I hate watching fuckin stand officials I dont like watching them because I feel like I just watch burs am I fuck fuck me like I got out, but that's not what you do it's not what to do, but it's like. He show good baby. It's so fucking crazy. and I know you said I think you're right. I know I'm right about this, because what were watching with

Is someone do the freestyle one hundred medley or whatever you know, but do the fast swim stroke where it turns Everyone's heads were you're like holy fuck. Did you see that image a bell? They do the fuckin freestyle butterfly and they fucking throw up record times, and it's so mean you're doing the breast stroke where our times are matching there's their times, but that's not to say we're, not great swimmers. That's not to say that we aren't that data respect. What we do is just I've I've for Andrew shoulders telling me this. He goes yes, I would I could never do you do it and I think a lot of people would have a hard time being as honest and as vulnerable and tell stories about their life and breakdown. their psyche and what their the way is, and I think I think it's a it's a definite different stroke in that people go. I was recognized with ber one time and the guy goes hey big fans and then he looks at bernie

was too. I just want to tell you. You are the one of the greatest minds we have in society as a comic. What you say needs to be said, and then he just looked at me and he's like. I, like the machine, starts great story and what you're like? Ok, I'm never can be the greatest mind. I'm never gonna be Neither do they really wherein the ellipse where they live. I would not Michael phelps. No, where the guy, when Michael phelps definitely Michael Phelps, needs to do a ford, formally and they need a breastwork out of doubling or lobby bert rack, the alligator, legal about we're. Gonna get you there. yeah we're going to get you to the end where you're going to jump in and win the fucking yeah yeah you're, going to close it out everyone's going to notice you like there's so many articles being written. We are bored right now, where I don't I personally, don't it would make me I could I can't just tune it out like burr, now and and and or chappelle. I can't shut it down

I am not cigarette- is like that- guy, a little bit where they go fuck it I'm gonna, go I'm gonna, take big fuckin swings, yeah and- and I think that there is a like theirs. They obviously have across the board like a bit the across the board. That's why they're doing what to doing so well, but we, I think we are more familiar story too funny willie it's funny, I and I think you're right man. I think there is a there is ass. active cut of justice. Setting. Who you are You know. They're always is competition comedy in new york, Emma being there too, it would be no norton, patrice bur, Geraldo Tao and its you're on the stage with these guys and you want to

you wanna you it's a fuck. You walk off stage you like fuck fuck yeah. What are you feel guilty? Dude patrice made me feel like that, all the time going like how come I'm not writing these. Like these jokes, where I go, I hear his premise and I go there, so subtle yeah, but it's making such a big splash like the subtlest premise, but I think the biggest mistake comics make now across the board. Is they try to do what what they see? Burr Chappelle, that they look at that and they go. I need that. I need an angle like that. I need to come in aggressive fuck with white women fucked. It all up and then you're like hold on you belper, had to earn that like he had a. He had there's a lot of times where he had to move from l a back to new york and get back in the fucking guts of it. bird to its brow them for three years. So you see a stand up and you like? Oh that's him yeah and yeah. It's weird to like you know. It's

Who really makes me laugh jessica, coercion and she's budget the thing I love about her in it has to do me. I think you too Is she silly yeah like she's very silly and I'm fuckin silly there I'm serious. I fuck anger issues american lunatic, but am silly. so it is like a kind of getting that whole fuckin mixture of a camera. I say: don't be silly stupid, I'm angry! I fuckin snap. Probably this whole thing, but it's like one fine that we finally find that thing and go ok action did this. What I am I just go forward with that, but I think it's the biggest hook up our sea on comics doing now, where they just they go on. I can't I'm knock him, except to I am as a common cause. I guess what I like his

better. You know like I love it. Tell that skill you have what I like is better. That's a fucking, that's a good one, so I had to deal with that very young. What I liked I couldn't do I loved Mitch Hedberg. I love to tell my jokes like that, were so bad that I they were like and then what what was working for He was I go in. I took action when the dizzy land and everyone's like, and it wasn't like enow David tellers never date go to disneyland spent an hour in your friends eyebrow. You know and you like goddammit. I dammit never write that right now in force. it was like all. I can do it, but it's going to be like an eight minute story and I meant to put characters in it may have to do their voices I'm going to have to fuckin. I meant to try to do a little way, doesn't sprinkle it in, and I think I think I am

I've thought a lot about your comedy recently, because I have everyone. I've talked to everyone. I've talked to have said lately, have you seen Bobby and what I think you did is you I think was- and I think it it sucks that it has to happen to us now, but like I needed to become a a man. could do comedy yeah. You know, and I think what you were doing when you were younger Emma Jane. It was fun. High energy, fucking hilarious work, the crowd quicker than any mother fucker out their physicality through the fuckin roof, but it wasn't until you you, you had your. Emily and had real moments in life with your wife. In your kid, where you started city back and go in, I mean, like I still think, you're you're. How many summers joke is I it's like where you go? That's a guy sitting in his book in outline that go in thirty more these! That's if a fucking, brilliant premise but its it,

if you need to have the wealth of life experiences share that you know it stinks. Sometimes too, as you watch guys that popped young, we're fun young guy, comics him, and then they try to give. Up and they their attached to this persona that they do not know, cannot relate to and you're, like brute gotta grow up. You know in great went home I'll compliment bill one more time. The great ones like bird finds a way to do it in his own voice like when he talks about how this baby, for the first time a grandiose fuck it. murder or murder. A mother fucker like he finds the internet, connect the burn in that moment when he said my my daughter hasn't met me yet dude. I was like I when I had my kid. I thought I just didn't write it down. You dumb fuck I didn't go on stage tat night and do it I was somehow blocked off was stuck in my thing

when I do see guys identical K. Fucking. Do it talk about it, middle reads. Ro reads. What are these our mid role reads? support for the work. Ass comes from whoop. I absolutely love my web strap. If you don't know sober october is powered by war. Whoop combines wearable device with state of the art software to help athletes and high performance operators, improve recovery, training and sleep and make better lifestyle choices with real time feedback on your body. I am sincerely zest with my whoop. I wake up and checked my whoop last night at the most sleep about all month. How often can you say that You know when you go, I'm not at a lot asleep. How often can you live elite literally say? No. Literally last night I got eight hours of sleep with a sixty four percent recovery. So then I went into hot spin today and I felt like I could push it did push it, whereas I normally wouldn't I did push it because I knew my

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promo code, bert cast during check out away. I wants terrified of rogan and bur switching pivoting and talk. about their families is what I do is going to look or horse shit like I'm so terrified of juggling someone, daughters, I'm happy about aliens. bowling, because you know you could just do circles around what I do, about killing a moose global I've. Gotta. Do you don't you do tat? You were talking, Pardon me, for the first time ever in this special is dead when you do you hear like when the sea gay, when it when he starts get about it. Like you, fuck honourable vous bobby you real, a god, damn it because there is.

Infrared. Their way of I don't know what it is I feel like so does it look there's a lotta about a fat on my joke. No no politician it is you know what I mean and, like you hear one of those guys do it and it's just like. so it's razor sharp, there's nothing on that beer as fucking. rice we have. We have the ability to make to make our waitress laugh later. like exactly what. If we had dinner with bird rogan, I mean you are rates, these guys are definitely comedians. Are we attract the whole fucking place, yeah yeah yeah, exactly they'll crack and the yeah hi, do tell anything like the the like around retinue Can any room anywhere birds already right in a bit about fucking gratuity included, but the you know it.

I just made fuckin held the laugh at twenty minutes. Each does nothing nothing for my career. I used to do adding to I told you, I can make anyone one the world right by so was when we first started dating- and I said trust me trust me and say I do a thing where, when we'd go in to check out for groceries, I would see how quickly I can make make her laugh right just how quickly and I got it down to a I mean I started using the same bit. A couple of times lands like the thought as a cheap goat gotta be organic by ran? I could I could make them laugh every time we checked out every fucking too, and I could go blue and make him laugh number bala whisky. It's gonna be followed. Where grated small talk, yeah, great elevators. We kill ya, it's a it's! It's it's a gift. You know get good like. Still bosses vos is, I think,

probably one of the most underrated comedians because people, I think people saddam, I think a lot of it was o, nay what because people trapped sherman who was cool with any button, go back and break balls, and I think people see him as like a ball busting in the moment. Comic god, dammit he's fucking good, he's really good. Now, too, he's really good, because his his eye he's got these great jokes, but his crowd work is when he dips into the crowd and then it comes back. With a joke and then goes back back to the crowd. Isn't he his fucking heart dude is hard to follow. Yeah we got to new york muscle by the way. That's not in l a must really yet I I learned that I feel like within this together, but one member man, you were in the back home in at the improbable in time we're watching a comedian and you kept going. I get it it's clever, but it's not funny right Anne elliot was one when it when we may move dogs. I moved out. Your roughly is at the same time you did

everything was, I remember. I dead over do carry night. I realized at that moment I had never written a joke. I look gonna say shows where the porter reckons that as a whole, get started like normally just and in new york. It was and it worked so well on the road I can omaha if to be able to go. We're having a genuine moment right now, and here's joke I've already written, but you think I came up with it in the moment and then we're back to crowd work. Oh, you said that I got a joke about that bam. What and you it was like an agree. It's like a tell, could do it, you didn't even know it was like. You would never know, what's happening physically editors dab scared! That's like I wanted store. Last night I was and am nerve is that somebody's gonna go do you wanna go on because I haven't formed an ally and so long at any of the clubs in years, and it is a different there is a different thing. When you go out there, I remember be like

What are you gonna laugh at your ever goin on stage? There is a difference there's a new york thing that really, like you know, what's up in your face, Why would you say that, like us, I mean like there is a difference, there is a desert is a different thing that does translate here? Did he just call a group of asian people, the math fleets like wait? What that's? Oh, my god, Is it? Is it like that out it? It's not like that at the store, but you will find that it other clubs, The store is a little more new york. I think, and I think there is a thing like people go up with jokes like just jokes: oh oh yeah, I'm just jokes and fuckin murder and its great, but that's I can't do that like. I can't go up and go into a job. Because you I need to connect with them, to say something to you to gauge, your energy I

to know what fucking people you are so, I walk up and, unlike what what's, and I look at you and I'm a what's fuckers blubber blood and then I say but I know I immediately gauge the the pool. I know what temperature it is, and I can that then my brain goes, our I fucking go and then I go and systems my jugs ah m, but I dunno to go. I need that moment of like the like spock around a little there, no reading the room and allay like a member one. When I worked the door, the Boston vos told me, did you not read the room? what we mean it goes. You gotta read the room and they go. How do I do that? Because you got a disease that certainly learn, because I can't just teach you, but you came up and immediately because the guy in the front row going to prison- and we are talking about your life yeah- he's one of prison, moral We knew that we'll talk to that guy everything's gonna, be

his night and then then take and I was like an l and I know for a fact. I've got or guilty of its longer have been an allay where you go. Alright right, I've got some joe. I met my bombed in store in the main room were unlike our right. These are jokes I've, working on jokes tonight and I just eat a deck and and you go, but there I think that's mine She was when I came out here for the first time, and I want to say I made the analogy with you in the back of the improv one night, but it's about working out and when you workout in new york, it's like doing a prison. Workout you've got a broomstick and two cinderblocks now and you're just trying to get strong enough. So you don't get raped in the shower, but you just want to look impressive in the yard, but it it'll give a fuck about your abs, more your fuckin legs, you like I need to throw pie

Love me allay is more like I did a berries boot camp where my bodies rift. I can't defend myself is going to shower, but I look good enough to rate in the shower like like it just it. It was very, very different. It is still very. for it. I think it's, I think already has changed that I think are a is become this bridge. in new york in l a and you see a lot more newark comics coming out to l a now which never fucking happened a year ago, yeah a lot of funny guys in l a now too I mean I would say all I'll say this. I think I think age wise the older funny guys living allay. I think, york all the younger than the next generations living yeah and then and then you and I think they learned from Gaza Gue vos, Norton, patrice key fuck in all these murderers who call in who were there? oh that were their idols. It's a weird thing, though, if you care to look at it like when we

when owner was big and it was all of us in new york and doing these own a big shows and that everything comes to an end. which is satisfying. Everything comes to an end. Sorry, but it's all gonna come to an end. At some point with the laugh factory was the the holy shit club when I was out here whatever twenty years ago and the store was fucking empty. Everything comes to an end. It's a weird thing. New york comic strip, was the club seller was empty, the fuckin empty. and now it's it's. The seller has Forty shows a week sold out so it's ike, It's weird thing that we live in an end, but I feel like it it's over here now like if you look at, but I know that's because of new york that what the because, because one was so special, we didn't have that. None of us had that and only like fuckin only liked three

could get onto one right now I didn't I got on once I did only once rare are cigarette never did donate their organs. Never already did it once maybe, but with Joe could do own a d. in could do no unable I mean in all fairness I would say debt dane ever It only the way own, aided owner, what come on and it was like a guys, the biggest comic world, is now walking in the room. You know like of your, were enough to talk a little bit about how is, but what his life's like. Now but and then we just out of necessity- and I think it was of a perfect storm- is that Joe got banned from the store he wasn't going to sit idly around. He didn't want to do tv, so he is going to start his podcast and then in spire, all of us to start our own podcast yeah. I think that was all broadcasting became fuckin massive. We think about rogan spy Cassius. I I I

the heart? I will actually don't think about it too much, because I do it enough. Where I go, I don't ever want to look at this precious. I always just one. going to hug drunk the fucker be honest, say the wrong thing. A bunch yeah get our balls, busted laugh then go out to dinner that right after that bullshit now you can't luggage. You can't look at Joe is as anything special or I think that becomes an unfolding. So to do, you're busy, but he's just Joe? That's why it's nice? They don't guys hang out, and then I ll have some fuckin scientist on. I mean is aware: it's a weird, really It really is a really is hard to compartmentalize too, because people will come out, like you know, like mark normandy, Joe list and be like I'm doing. Rogan like gimme some advice and you like to do that I told norman known by the way, have one of the best wrong appearances. I've seen the wild and its any you're going to have a guy you're having a great role

an appearance. I guess it tonight, it's but yeah, but it's yeah yeah, but it's it does I mean it. We call it the rogan bump, where all the sudden, all your ticket sales go up. All your podcast numbers go up right. I mean it's I mean something we experienced in a night. years ago, when we first started doing it, you have the rogan bump and then you know an end for and we'd know Put these guys will come out younger who been listening to rogan idolize. You know what he's doing in this business and I remember I was on tour with norman in in in in in europe, and he was like he's like I'm doing. I'm due. I got a date for rogan, I'm doing rogan. Will it give me some advice? I go don't don't just don't think about it, go and hung over and don't think he's just a guy. I know, but can I like buses, baltic, one hundred fourteen percent, he's afraid? What have I can't fatty I go? Don't you don't just fuck can be. He's only gonna like you of your you have you go in thinking, I wanna be what he thinks he likes he's gonna fuckin age, you Rogue has always been that guy, though I remember when I was back in

Boston I was in a comedy, class. I was live. With this woman, maria thousand she just past you fuckin hilarious, tying girl. She had this house let comics live. There is in the kind of in the ghetto was ago liquor korean. I used to be jewish italian, then it turned korean and let people live there and I lived. I lived up on the third floor with this guy, this lyra pucci, six three, fifty pounds walked around make it all the time I have pieces of paper like around the house. Can you wouldn't put closer so he came in now, just he'd be there and I'm just talk kill him because he wouldn't wear clothes, so I just told him the paper over his cock yeah. So we could have conversations, but I remember I was in the class- and they were telling me this ban eve. Yet the improv and All these stand of spotlight in seven minutes a clean material. You gotta be clean, you gotta be clean

class and like my but I'm not I'm a recovering attic. I bang. All the time who comedy I the girls and I'm single what the fuck am I. What am I gonna talk about what it, what the fuck clean I have a wife and kid you're, never gonna shit. And then I shall robins half hour on on empty these half hour. and I remember watching him and everything else run up a did. The fuckin yogi jokingly and he went music as hard to fires. Talking about the right amount of pressure to put on a girl's head in if she kisses your nipples and then I say is because you don't want to push too much pressure because of the fucking house. Eh, that's the guy, and I by bringing them up? I go disguise fuckin hilarious, talks about getting a blow job, and I remember I worked with them at that- a coup, a coup the chinese restaurant. He was headline in any just fucking mood. He had this

crazy confidence. We walked on stage and just did all this fuckin crazy, dirty shit and I was like that's it. That's the fucking guy. I remember I walked up to music at altitude listed I don't know, did I met my guy cause, he's from Boston he's fucking. The shit yes back when I had hair, I was fucking sexiest chateau remainder and I was like a hump. This is the fucking guy fuck everybody else, and I was dude to have any advice. Music, yeah, nothin, because there is no advising comedy. If I The advice should be me just be you get on stage as ache. Ok, does ignore advice, anything a little more tangible. I really wanted sambo, but we wound up hanging out and I was like this guy is just a fucking coolest guy. Ever yeah I've added. We hung over the weekend. We met girls by allowing this great time, and I remember like this- is the fuckin the best

and I realize then that I could just do what I wanted to fucking do I didn't have to right. These set up punch tags. I can just go on stage and fuck and be me- and Billy Martin who's, the producer of bill marcia now near chewed, nice guy ever Mme walked out. back, then he goes I murdered on his show and he walked out because I hate your act. I hate it, but you kill, and I I can't fuck with that- and I was like okay. I can deal with that and a deadly hampered, my shit, because if I I think if I was cleaner by the law, maybe I was a little further with a you know. There's that thing I always thought. What am I? What am I just sat down and just rodin a clean act, and then I can corporates, and then I could do you make more money you make more money gary gum, and we talked about the time he did love for the first time and it between the commercial breaks. You and you know I've caitive. I did. to you. Like clean

you and it is a fact that I make more money, be fuckin clean. That's why I do it news at her, but it's a I remember doing that and when I finally the my special delightful village, anagram Billy Martin sent me a note on east on facebook and using a just wash your special and you did it. He gives you you you you, you became a comic, I watched it. It was dirty, it was, but it was personal and you finally figured out how to do it, and it was amazing- and he was a great job you now, because imagine if I listen to these fuck and actors in the class. Tell it I believe the business jealous of anyone he can't robin was right. Where you don't listen, anybody I mean you philosophize about it. We talking

We should talk about, we philosophize about it and you're right. You got a you can't look at these other people, you just gotta, be a silly fuck, but you can't help it and and- and I I think I I was super guilty of this as I'm not comparing my other people will go and, like my life, what they're doing their inspiring me. I want to be like you and I number I remember at a joke, I loved this joke about shitting on you have cause in at the time and allay everyone. Just idolize him. She wanted the playboy playboy help. May imagine air and road going. It's creepy is fine Why is no immenseness, isn't working, years old gettin and it was like way before Anyone who worked with me to shit with you like an eighty year old should not fuck eighteen year olds, but like I'm ever here, Joe go and do I ought not to like sucker organs caught, but when he

I started doing the Joe show with bryant with robin that internet show. That was when Youtube just came out, and I was watching. I was watching that and I was like goddamn it man. This guy's he's looking at the business his own direction now and you can I didn't, give a fuck what other other people would have been like? What are you doing? A reality show is acknowledged. You fuck around with my friend with the camera yeah, I'm hanging out with anime fighters and porn stars and fucking after a fight and we're, gotta follow each other round, and I got a lotta ship when I started a sort of logging and I started like put and everything I want instagram, but I was like us. If you know a man, I kill us in anyone's of ice. A member here is a bastion say and I loved by another. I love sebastian geneva. Sebastian was like wages. Put all your fucking, my fellow on my nose like in my head. I was like it I enjoy it. I get a kick out of it to sell tickets and it's I don't. I don't feel it gets intrusive.

What I'm showing isn't in fact my whole day it sees little pockets. I told a story. I go find our or find a day we stage of tuesday from eleven o clock to noon. want to throw up, I'm going to shoot an instagram video and do some stories or find some time to just cause. I go people want to know more, about you. They want to see you experience life when you go to a yankees game and of citizens Those weeds with nine young comics that you bought tickets, all four and your shirt, robbing a drinking beers and you smut smuggling to join in theirs. It's ok it'd plot your camera ben and go anyway. but I'm not live in life. I don't get it. You can live life. I respected, though I was I wish I kind of like that, like I love that about him, but I think, but for me. I like people, gimme me shit. You show your kid like me, my son, all the time. It's igloos. May you don't understand, I'm a dad, I'm a fool.

Can dad you and I love. I love. I didn't think I was gonna, be a dead I never had really a dad. You will mean so for me to be a dad and have this kid an end to have such a good time of them. It's I like, fuckin show? I like doing it with in my lab, put the money She graham look, I don't. I don't, show my wife, She doesn't want to do it for me. My kid fuckin around its it's, it's ok with me. I like doing it. I have a fucking great I'm. So I love like you. Graham because I see your family, I see you be enough, can silly asshole, and am I gonna get that? That's that's what I like doing that we have more time. I put this thing. we have, my son made us by incredible outfits. I remember the family, but my mind doesn't fit master and I had this big camel tom yeah. I have my fat was ripping of the sides and I I remember we

had we would come home and after we don't have to put these on and fuck and fight crime in the house, as in credit, was he be dash and I'd be fuckin. Mr credible and a member put that on the internet. One time and people fuckin loved it, but there was some people like do what the fuck are you doing? It's like you're, not from. Yeah yeah you're, not me, I get it, I get it you're cool, I'm not cool there. I'm not fucking call! I love. That's quincy had cool the enemy is funny cauzee enemy, a funny to me I've. Leave me to I think be like I could be cool, I could be what's up, I don't bert vote or I can be on my feet. I need to do that. Silly shit, yeah yeah, I I don't I don't. I don't have a problem.

I don't yeah, I don't have a problem sharing my life. I really don't I I I know for a fact it's what I enjoy like when when when I start stories, if I see a comic in the car with her assistant, doing bits to their assistant, I got disconnected tad bit yeah, but it. But if I see you at your house, ah alright we're getting ready for winter, I'm getting the backyard ready for winter yeah. If I get really excited, I go back back. Let me more about that. You know over, like others, certain things I I dig out the first guy I followed on instagram that really kind of change it for me, was this guy adam green tree, and he documented himself hunting in utah thinking. And then looking for these. These Elk and I got so emotionally involved in the story, and I was like us Am I so? If I go, I am

Furthermore, casey nice that talk any site its cause is because you're telling us Are you doing an arc? Your your ear now going beginning madeleine, like when you go in and you are, I'm actually are building a fuckin fort in the back yard. I watch it J Larsson does that to do doesn't do as much on an escaped stories, but he does like these. Like our. I am belma tabled today are making a make. In lemon lemon cello like it those things, I get a kick out of no yeah. When rogan does Hey guys, I'm first hearing out tonight, you fuck it my dick it's hard. I go. The weird thing like you like, I was right when he gets a fuckin skill, it yeah enemies then he's a guard, so I smoked it for fortwo and I'm going okay, okay and then I'm like babe, I'm going to try reverse searing steaks tonight, she's like what the fuck did you watch do that they go. Have nobody haven't much anybody about man yeah

I went and got an iron skillet cause of that too. Oh dude, you gotta, fucking prep it. You know he taught harvard army. I guess your tank is going to be out there, but orient I wanted to do. a we wanted to cook one night, we're going to have a barbecue at his at his compound and and we're like. Do you have like elk steaks? We can cook and rogan said guys. It's a lot more complicated, it's a reverse sear and then I wanted couldn't say. If I wanted to go Joe I've seen you do online, but four times. I think I think I've I've also I googled it. I think I'd like to take a shot yeah. I don't know what I'd say. It's a it's a weird thing: you don't I started doing in life now too, as I started doing other things like camp abandoned, are we going well the trip yeah I've been attacks at you and I go. I can't get enough of this yeah cause. I cause it was so cool yeah. It was like it was like

getting to see the side of all these guys. I know they're just out camping and grilling and cooking and and are is often a hike, and it just was so it's so fuckin me you one of the great one of the great times we had. We went me out. Joe list just went up a mountain and went down the other side of it up the cats closure and it is called the primitive camping. So it's not a campsite, it's just sites that other. So there's no does nothing for four hours: and we're on this lake called echo lake. That's all beavers we have other trees at eton. It'll, take a movie and then they have these little sites. At other campers made she got a kind of go and find a little spot to make a camp. and you have to find would you have to hang a bare bag and there we went up and we can't

and when the sun goes down, there's something that happens kisses and there's no does nothing. Is you can't leave that you know? what, if you have to leave its a four hour to two down some gets hurt. To up to now to up to doubt back to eight hours. There's a there is there is a very very immediate sense of vulnerability when you get those situations, its bid, some you get scared for our ten minutes and then once you deal with the fact that the you can't change this, like it's just us right now, yeah where he I'm here Joe list, an irish here like that's it in a member we hung out, we cooked we had dinner. We talked

I jumped in my chat and then they were hanging out talking and then they you hear the zipper, zip, zip and nobody gets in their tent and it's around one thirty in the morning and then a pack of wild coyotes came through and there were like fifty fucking feet away and it sounds like something being murdered sounds like sounds like somebody's murdering, a dog and it was scariest thing in my fuckin life This is no way out of it this if they come with, we have to fight coyotes or whatever, I just remember, being there is dead silent after they stopped and just jealous. Knowing Bob what do we do about that and I go. I don't know and then it was just silence we're out sitting in a dense, sitting there waiting to be attacked by fuckin, coyotes, my and ah then, all of a sudden. Then my fuckin air mattress popped,

Are you serious in my air matched popped, so I had to bluff back up so you see this rustling and that r is a body like what he does. What what's going on, but you're right, I'm like I'm fine is what the fuck or the movement is being attacked by something bigger budget. I got my im. Just popped is stop fucking moving. we have just sit there through the night that is but, like I die at that is you know I mean. I know- and I have said this to orient. He didn't see that I'd eye on this, but, like I wouldn't want to film crew with you guys exert, would change what it is but I will I want to. I want to share. I now I like, as a fan visit I was thinking when you were saying that I remember you and opie used to go trout, fishing yeah, we should offer fly fish fly fishing that took the life of here for being so, I don't know the right word

so intrigued by that going like I and use you just little. Clips of videos wasn't a lot but an ocean. also be sown, treat here's the deal We all mocked the cardassians, how they put their lives at like dire, but we're not fans of the croatians right. If you are a fool another carnations, then that imagine it When you saw a new episode, you like, oh, my god, I can't wait to see what my girls or into yeah, and so I think we can mark guys I mean you put everything up or on answer graham, and what more willing to take the mockery? We will let you bust our balls about it. I don't give a fuck, but if you are legit fan of what we do and as a fan you go and like all set the fuck up like I had so many people hit me. I want to start pop plants and they were like they were and I was like it change where I looked at, I was like oh yeah, you can just not everything has to be family can have like little projects like you do. We were like I'm gonna fuckin,

like anything you do around the house, I'm always like. I'm like, I can't get enough iguana skills tools You know I did she. I got shit like Norton. When I set a fly, fish of ya go just I stood, I found a fly fishing and as annex I guess we're not supposed to do that. I guess we're just supposed to be comics anything any time We show any skin that the armour was protecting yes the comics go. I see vulnerability, it's a yeah, I mean he smash me fucking good. I bet and and He got really violently angry when I didn't keep em cause, I I catch me. Leave you never key. I never really give the fish catch him. He was worth a foggy you're coming lip carter. You just curtain, lips, you're, fat piece of shit, and I got shit for it, but it's I did I like fly fishing. I know you can't imagine me in a river, like fuckin brad pitt with a fuckin rod.

but it's what I like. I love it. I love go in the fog woods and then, when I say go on hiking I got some much shit for being a hiker because I'm heavy and believe me we hiked up the mountain. They had to wait for me. It took it, took double but you're doing it. when you guys walnuts highway montreal, just fuckin thing has got your at montreal and you're. Let's get the fuck out of the festival. Go for a high goes like I was like. Why am I not at montreal this year? That's right. it was a fucking hike to break up the monotony of booze guzzling I love are twice as one of my favorite people. I was about a couple months ago: either, do let's go fly efficient and is it ok? That's it no one the fuck. Why we do that, but is it ok? He met me at my house. We we drove up ryan hamilton, rented a house, a little tiny house on a river. let me have drove up there. We jump in river. He never fly fish before I had

The shit I gave I like five rather game a rod. I put him in the river I went down here. We both caught fish, we spent like four hours in a river, just no noise, no talking, no phones, no comedy no showbiz, no making it no nuffin him way up Their me way down there. Just fission one time we caught a fish, we ate it. I caught a nice trout and we took it back to the house. I filet did we cook it on a pan? butter and garlic, and we ate it right there with apples, we apple and a fish, and we ate this fish in the night in a in pitch dark at a fire by a river and then we jumped in the car and he went to the spot. Oh that sounds so fucking great. It's a dad's me to live life. I know we have showbiz. As I know we have to do this shit. I know it. To go and do other stuff and but if you do

stop and go and live life. If you don't go like, if you don't go, when someone says you wanna go snow tube in my wife really want to snow turban as a guide. Our though, and I went I broke my fucking ribs and it was a disaster, but I feel it was such an epic weekend of just not doing this shit, doing you're not doing it. You know remain, and I don't I don't think of you Do that shit, you gonna, fuckin sunday at the end of this at the end of this year, with the fact that I do I did comedy for thirty. forty years. I just It shows an I hung out with comics, and you know I love that. I can fly fish, I love that are now to build shit. I love that growth, tomatoes and zucchini and strawberries. I love that I can just go up. I can fuck. I know that I can go any mountain. I can just go up camp for the night and come back down and not die.

That's a skill that I learned how to react: a legit skill yeah, but then you watch rogan and he goes up in the mountain and kills a fucking gazelle cut it up and then fuckin. You know it's like this. He has to get helicopter and I drove a fuckin of a ranger park and you know there's a sub shop too. I was straight hey I would love to. I would love to be able to, and I would love to be able to. I would love to be able to go out into the wilderness the way that rogan and all his friends Adam green tree campaigns. I would love to be able to do that. Sustain for myself yeah, like Adam green trees, the guy I probably watched the most of what camp haynes doesn't as much put his hunting trips online yeah. I think he does it for a tv show. Maybe stephen nella. Does it for a tv show

I'm fascinating to watch this guy firebox. It's called the firebox. He made this little stove it's a little flat stove that you pop open. It becomes a little stove that you can take with you, so you go up in the woods and you can just stick twigs in it and you light the twigs in it's a fucking cook on it really cook anything on it. He this guy cooks, fuckin chickens and fuckin begs cakes and shit. Oh, so he goes in the middle of fuckin. Nowhere with these dogs, he puts backpacks on his dogs, and he just walks into the woods and for a couple days with this little stove and by Did you find the one you two are those guys on youtube there, the guy who's at a really strong russian action. I think who goes out of the woods and shows you how to make fires different fires, and he made a fine, air where he took a log right split it in three then cut

the swedish it's a swedish. A swedish stove must register via dude leaving for the moment that I get to do that with people. I am waiting for the moment where I go. Does anyone need a swedish though I got home, I taught max how to do in the backyard for real. yeah. I just I was a tree. There was dead, my backyard, so I caught it and then I caught it because I'm really into bush craft knives know what those are. No. Are you going get about like this? Are the ones that are borderline swords not a nun. No! A bush graph knife is a that holy grail for me is guided called jack lore he's still in england who makes these knives, a certain knife, its survival knife, but it's not what you think it's out of the way. I think I think I think I saw these online and tried to buy one, and I couldn't by one offline, southern california. No, you can't buy em. You can't get disguised I've ever this. what he does. He makes jack law jack lure him eggs a knife he makes watch knives. He puts him up.

Website and he puts his email and first comfort, if so you never know when they go up and when they go up they're gone now and you can't get one like people waited too. here's the above these knives Jack lord? but Ella r e push crass knives of these are fucking gorgeous. Yet that's the whole. agree. I want one almost sail. This is great. I love them like. Now there's a funny kid you're probably get one I'll fuck it ain't you if you get one, don't fight. Listen to me, do not fall, Can you do not send me a video of use slipping a fuckin jacket or out of a chief cause, I'll fuck it our steal. It what what's so bad, that I've tried? I trouble my fame give each other you should vainly gets it ever really. My opinion when I was a baby death of jack I've tried to use what little Faye my ass, a man. You know I tried to joke with them on his instagram

not everyone. I've will be greater. My soul outsource bears. We can write by you. Have you need to know what you mean your wife, I actually, when I, when I went to the boy, was I I'm never gonna get one of these. I love you knives, but I have to stop doing this because its obsessive, so never gonna get one I really love you do so god bless us up my debt, I said thinking, maybe like her. men like somebody would hit me up. On my end, he just wrote: Under my comment, I don't don't stop try and you might get one sunday Who knows a judge. I got my profile. My followers of blue checkmark apparently even see the blue checkmark by those jack or some of them jack's team buildings we have responded differently that it but funny thou. I've had so many nice makers, which I love knife maker. I I love knives I do. I have a lot of have somebody knives that they are floating.

roundup around my house just in case some shit goes down. Yeah I got a great. I got a sword from a from a tanzania chief. He gave me a sword that he kill a lion with tanzania. In chief, when did you go to fucking, tanzania travel channel I remember that that was fucking great. There was a great show. It was belarus being stripper, though. Why wasn't good money, great experiences but I wasn't really learning anything and I wasn't moving forward my career, and so I had to get away from it in order to like I was, and I wasn't talking about any on stage and it was really disconnected like I'd, be like so in vietnam in warsaw decades cave today's gonna rose, I ha and others the electoral stuff. We know it's a waiting, If you had that huge success and you gave that up or then they built up, what do you mean or fired from from whatever what? What was the hardest period of my life?

I thought you gave it up new fired how'd you get fired. I wish I remember Courtney? Whites rename? I think I'm not shitting onyx, I'm very happy. She let me go, but I was under a deal at travel channel for like once for two years once for three years and then once again for another. Maybe three years I was like just a reoccurring deal, they just re up it and you are just utility player for them. I would do upfronts for them. I would do court gigs for the meaning like they go: hey cox, media or or or brought whoever does cable a k, a cable provider. The big thing ever was afraid I was cable writers worked just saying you know where I can air travel tell anymore, and if they did that travel, china was then dead and it was no longer an entity. Anyone give a fuck about financially my so

I forget what the name of that was, but it happened to whether channel and whether channel now is gone, and so they said they would say. Would you go to costa rica and host an event for this company? As I get so I went one year and I hosted the the company and killed had a great show did stand up brought up everywhere. given their words and then the next year like hey, can you go to we're going to. Why can you do for as I do that for them, so that all these groups, It was a. It was a good deal because it was financial security and then they read and you You bet you couldn't say: no, a luck is if they wanted to do some you how to do it, so they decided to do bert, conquer again and they were going to do one more season of birth conquer. We just think it's going to pop, and so I did it and I got to a point where I was like: okay, I don't wanna ride roller coasters and forty four. I dunno forty three at the I remember when I was like. I think I I want to be more. I want to be like doing what bourdain does yeah and they said to me,

you're, no anthony boarding like here that you know it ok, and at that time I was in there because I was not working the road and I went and had lunch with this young lady Courtney White, who is taking over his present a travel channel. So what do you want to do when I say don't wanna ride roller coasters? She went oh okay and, like my therapist said, tell him what you want. You dont want. I said I want. I want to do Shall I want to be the leader of my show where you follow me much like bourdain. Where I get. I think I have a bigger voice and I think I think I can be a more value to the company that way so cool so then come home. We're gonna weigh up the deal start demolition. When the house land schedules of a sector me, I got a big toe, or for live nation. I want to do the odd baltimore twelve dates on it. I clear my schedule until this

amber, saw it coming be on the road with I mike. Alright, I'm going to redo my deal. Did this thing's going to be great, going to walk the first day of demolition and she calls and she goes we're not going to renew your deal. We've has been I I she never worked for me. She goes everyone says you're great guy you're, just not the direction we want to go and I was like I was. I was like literally like now: zero income. I had note. I had no tour dates. Live nation calls as we cancel twelve of the dates throttle the your dates. I lose all told my dates. I have no work for I am now living in a house where demo mean that I might add on like I don't know if I can afford new magazine are more easily those will make. I can do the road side book out like a bunch of data like guarantee dates for the fall, and I just an that's what I was like I was like alright, I'm gonna double down on me. I'm going to just I'm gonna start shooting videos. I was doing a vlog of the time, I'm doomed. blogs I'm going to really folks my podcast. I a member burn, and pull me aside there, like you know you don't need to travel channel, you can just you stand up

And- and I did, my special for showtime and then- and then I started focusing on stuff like me and Tom, doing the fat shaming now is that it had traction. Fans were listening and an eye nose, like whatever dates, followed data. get to try to pay the bills. People were showing up going, like you know, with thomas fat, shirts and burt is fat. Shirts and I went seems like it's getting traction and now and then a machine. Story went viral like just lucky as fuck and I and then people started showing up at my shows, and then I started going all this shit, I'm doing right now, as I ve traveled general, all this instagram, you tube podcast stuff, that's me, and so I fucking double down and started and really folks promo videos so loud tracking programme of areas.

the promo video and then the weekend would sell out, and I was like alright, and so I was like. That's it and then I'd be like stuff like I'm, like, I remember, going fly into fuckin new york, I'm gonna just hit everyone up this gap august and just do everyone's podcast. I'm gonna spend two days in new york and bang out a bunch of podcast fly home. I'm gonna. I looked at an isp, you know what else I did. That was a fucking game. Changer Bobby I started. Looking at things is going live. I want to be on stuff, I, like the only thing I'd ever liked that I got that I got on that. I was grateful for his rogan. I love robes biogas before us on it I got on it, went when you're on something you Like oh and I hear your sister to win, because your d, like it like you'd, do not going into a celebrity gone like. So what it is

so I got on the show that was a very small show that no one knew about I hit up. The host was called hot one's ever seen. Hot ones love it. I found it before anyone yeah, I started tweeting about it. Obsessively going dish like you are with jack, lore show's awesome, Sean evans hit me up. He was like dude. Your first celebrity and then I was like what and he was like at any time he goes. We don't have comics ahmed if we ever get comics on. I want you on yeah, and I was like deal year like literally right after that they call we're gonna like I not ones game, changer qualities as a mirror. I love your show would love to be on it. I am obsessed with it come on in to do the miro. I love birds, appearances on Conan. I was like hit up conan I'd love to come, One do conan like we tell the machine story. Fuck yeah do conan, and so I started looking at things right. Remember what time I go, I love the shed. Can I do the shed and you're like yep? It's all my patria on he better

I didn't do it to do my podcast, but I could always put you on a shadows. Like done. Tell me when a fly out I started. Looking at the business is going is going. I want to find things that will spike. where people were to show. I already love that I know I like that. I know my fans would like that would integrate and then I'm ever cigar ago an hour I, what do you do it and I was like dude, I'm just fine it should I dig and get into it and there was a sky. A three three pike asked is a fucking humongous pot ghastly huge, it's fucking huge and I found it. I loved it reached out to him, and I was Let me know how I can and then all of a sudden he changed. His business model is like a move in l, a I'm starting a podcast ago. Let me be your first podcast and he was like deal We get it Tom's girl. Let me get huge bill burr and tell me who you want me to get I'll, get you all and he was like. Are you being serious? I was like fuck yeah, I was a good cool. People should find cool people and work cool people and I- and that was my bit- was my business plan homesick fuck television, I'm never do and television travel channel com.

something like will give you any channels like nope. I don't want. He called you back after the I dunno corny. What I think got transitioned into like food or diy transition. Could we are ends and the new president's discovery bought them and they? They call me up my netflix specials about to drop talk about how fucking great this must have felt by the way shadow to map other cars map butler's the greatest map, because, let me go please, it'll just take you to dinner and try to convince you to do a shelf travel channel yeah and I was like done to went to dinner with him and he was like. I know we're not going to get you because I think things are gonna change in your career, but what show you want to do, and my thing at the time was. I was obsessed with owning my content. I

into one whatever I had so I could put it on instagram on youtube and build my brand that way, yeah and they just weren't there and then and map out. The comment of the day is like alright, we're still in whatever whatever you want, but but but for me for me right now. This moment is better than any tv show. I've ever done any late night appearance. I've ever done any stand up. I've ever done on tv, not netflix, obviously, but like tv because I know that people listening to this are engaged in going like and going like tat. This has been a fucking hilarious, deep conversation to people that have known each other for fuckin twenty plus years. Like an end, this is more value to me in the business is finding like

fuckin red eye tonight and an normally I would never Bobby Kelly. I go. Oh fucker mover flights from move our flights to the late one while a rough morning, but that's value for me. You know like, and I think I do great story. Dude I mean that's a fuckin me too. When I hear that shit. When I hear when I hear failure or the irony bad failure. I kinda makes me that that that's the shit I love to hear doing here, you wanna hear the worst of it. This is like this is like secret time, gossip yeah. I get fired we're doing demo in the house. I cancel this act to me. I come back to girl calls me and he goes hey man giving you a heads up: they're canceling, some of the dates for live nate that, like the funny oddball in a surreal tours on all of them, he's on every single one among twelve or a maybe I'm less than twelve, but I'm on twelve.

and he goes just giving you a heads up, so you can protect yourself and I go. What do you mean and he goes well. You know like to make sure you get a guarantee pay whatever they. You know that you don't have to worry all flights I go hold on. I pay for my flights years at what is a yup. I pay for my flights and my hotel. He goes. They didn't cover that lego know and he was like well make sure you get paid regardless. I am losing money and he goes wait. What are you getting paid and I told him and he told me what he was getting paid of poof? Let me tell you something: that's when you know you have a friend when he was like. I remember him going alright that cause. I told him when I was getting painting of okay. This can't fuck us up as friends and he got and I was like okay. He told me and ass. I was sitting right there and I remember I, the phone on the desk and I went from talking to him two hands on my knees. Looking at the ground, going where the fuck are you in your career, bert, like where the fuck like

and not shitting on tom and my hero mike. He was like I'm buying a house like he's, I'm all happy for his success, but was like alright buddy. I was like you guys. regroup, you gotta regroup. I remember saying to myself: I know your talented as, like you gotta, I gotta get past the store. I gotta get up store. I gotta be goin up every single. Might I gotta get on the road I gotta fucking change. Things are going to look at this internet as a positive. Don't try to be shady fuckin and I was in therapy like I was in therapy going twice a day on skype. Just going like it was a sense of mourning of loss of failure, like of like as fucking nuts, I'm I'm, but remember like I was the lowest apply ever been in my career. That's good to hear man. I think my meat, I more comics, need to know that it's good to hear that, because you know, like in my thing. You know at the point. Now let Google, how a couple of years years, an effect show I was on louis things, were fucking taken off

everything is great. Now. And it goes away with a day. like it goes away. One thing go one thing I could all go away. Dude I was on Louis. I was like one of the only regulars yeah and then you know I mean he he He is the hand of god literary, do show I mean and would do show And I love that show I love section drugs I was doing well I mean I love doing these shows I love doing t v. I love and I was being flown in first class in upfront and shit. I was like oh good, I'm. Finally, here I'm? Finally, here I waited a long time, but finally year em, you know I like going to these events. I liked walking, or I mean people affected, like did. I don't give a fuck man when somebody flies you first class out to allay put you in a hotel and then you standing next to jail. This is what I've always wanted to do, I'm here,

and in a night it goes away, and then you know even at when I would walk into additions because I was on Louis. I would be treated differently, Now it's the reverse, like you know, like its ignobly fucking, wants even hear about that guy. That's why still When you bring me up, I was louis brother on Louis fuck you, I love that show the shows great beyond and but it all went away in a night dude. I remember one affects didn't pick up. Saxon drugs does tat. I was right in that. You think you're ran this into the sunset me. I get the item on play. The drums I learned how to play the drums and two months. I never touched dramatize, I'm playing draw, Was in a show and I'm doing us, I was a disk, it all went away. in probably under a year, was all gone. Fucking, nothing and I'll bet back on the road at clubs I didn't play because I didn't have to. I thought I was gonna start you

theatres or little small than used by myself. One nighters instead of five shows, do one and it was all gone and I had to regroup. You know- I had to. I had to sit there and go okay. Okay, How much is your mortgage? How much is the car ok, I maybe I know you wanna member that maybe we can stay in the school system for a little while would just make sure he has good values and, through the whole I gotta go guess with Adam corolla and an at this exact time this is going on. and I was obsessed Bobby with

men that had had it taken away anyone that he's not knows. Why would he bear three? Sorry, oh yeah, no, three so and he'll, I'm sure he'll just walk in and the yeah it's three. So I was obsessed with men who had gotten taken away. like anthony kumi obsessed with them. Yeah obsessed with I wanted to know. I wanted to know what was the conversation you have with your family like we did. Did anyone ever say like our iso, we then went up to downsize. Crawl is the only one god bless him was like. Oh yeah is one of the reasons I I found a new found me spectin joe, because he still is not. He still had money, but what he loved was the ready to go into the stormy, nine that family and they they took away from him and he d. My group I was obsessed with

regrouping of men The men holding themselves back up of our members goin. I said I said I'm alive Here's what you wanna be crawl about my god. I just want to note as like when it was taken away and he started by guest because he succeeding now. I want about that moment. I saw what was it like and he goes out every one of us it goes. Oh, I remember to think they walked up to my wife and ngos. Are things going to change? She goes much any goes. How much money do you think you spent as she she's. That said, he goes. Oh no because It reads, arms that use we. What are you Our mortgage is a disease that nobody is like. Ok, well, let's just starboard. Scratch we're gonna be downsizing. Is I want to build something? Love guys who build some, You go like who go it's it's things. Change. I mean my obsession became. I couldn't allow anyone leverage on me

couldn't about allow anyone to say we're, not gonna pick that up couldn't allow that nice, I'm just going to stand up when a focus on stand up in nepal everything into my stand up and everything else going to follow the side second of amadeo actually don't want one. My dollar one cause I know that if I get one then you can, you can get me to go I need you to cancel out these days and then you could take away from me. I go everything I'll, be on my I remember getting on offer to be aware gone on a sick, collagen ought like, and I just go. I don't think I want that to be my thing tat. I had it this year, I mean it was around a year and a half ago. I think it's been almost a year and a half in two what all again taken away, this year. Last year christmas, they called me up. There are like you wanna play santa. And I had to

because I need the ensure you know what I mean. Oh look, it was a great movie and the guy who's doing it was a passion. Project is great, but I'm sitting there going fuck man, I was I was I was on our facts a year and a half ago, but that's because that's because you not to up to about who you are and tell you who I think you are you're, you're Bobby Kelly, you're, not the fuckin you're an amazing actor, but your Bobby Kelly. First and foremost, that's what I am attached to Bobby Kelly as a comic, and I think need certain things to be taken away so that you focus on what was a big got. You here in the first place, yak as you can be distracted by all the fuckin sidebar shit in this business. What's up it's funny because you have had to go back to like this creature, kids tore that would do it's fuckin, brilliant, it's ok I gotta go back to creating shit that you, like you, said people can't taken away. No one side

I want to go, create okay, I'm going to There was a time I was creating podcast like when I had the right below the reich. Ass is my network and ah reachable. Any that was one of the shows we came up with misery loves company, even to pollo, show you know, but then this description, kids out like this I'm I'm other around, like everybody has kids become. I'm kind of. sitting on when you have a key. You done, but when you have kids, you start a family man It seems like good guys like me. That's when the world fuckin open that's when everything opens up here. you're. The guy must start this show, and I did it, very small at the village pentagon, sold out RON Beddington hosted it to a panel on parenting as this great and that we do another. One is fuckin blows up blows up and that's when you know frosty ma frost I would do a tour. with one shot sought out so the fuck out.

And now we have twenty shows that we're doing with these guys dad I'm like. Oh, that's how Fuck works down, do and you know theatres, fridays salaries with guys. I love on a show that I love that I created that it's like all. You have to do You can't worry about the the outcome. You have to worry about the doing it. The do. That's the guy I the lead singer of fucking tool. Whatever his name is, what's his matter dude I fucking love people hate them. I dunno why I love that guy yeah, because I remember when he said that he goes. You have to worry about the do not the outcome, if you're thinking about the outcome, you're fucked, because it won't be what you think is, but if you just worried about the doing it the due process of creating michel putting together and letting it happened. All of a sudden. From that little thing, that's even years ago, a me burnt derosa will like fuck everybody. let's just write a movie because they can't tell us now

just film it and we did cheap and that she became a book in the book became an effect steel and it. It was the we weren't worried about the outcome. We were just worried about making and we made it and once you made it all the sun, I came out of a job, but it's there. the process of fuckin losing its dude. It's such it's there, bad it it so fucking bad! It's because it's to like he would come out here. Every single! Do you gotta get a rogue? You got a did. I e you kids, romania, the error, a dude. I gotta. It's like, I know bert yeah. I know I'm sorry. I know bur I'd I love wrote you kid just that's what I was coming out here, but here is a fine thing is last and I went to the store didn't want to go How did you stay in my room, be fat and, and then I was like I'm going-

If that's what you do, what you are talking about, you fucking just and hinge clever Did you gotta? Do my shell? Sam simply comes out? Did what the fuck tell me, you're gonna, be all this should happen just because I stepped the fuck out of my conversely, like comfort zone on my uncomforted, joan being by myself in my fuckin room and you sit there being a fat fuck. You know just wanted danny you get a moon over my hammy. We have I myself in a booth that outfit in I said I said to myself when everything when everything fell apart from me I heard someone say a line that I that I wrote in my joke book and it was make yourself uncomfortable, find things that make you uncomfortable and you'll excel, and one Bobby. I you. I know you can. I know you know this feeling but like trying to hat in hand, go into the store and get past as a guy who's anti for nine years and

learning comic and even at the time of selling tickets we're going in and going I'm going to make myself a company I'm going to up to bill and say, though he talked to Adam. For me, I'm going to go up to Al Ali. talked out, inform you see if get me get me in and then I coming up to me. Dude I mean you wanna talk about it. Fucking morning that I will up going. My life is over is I had but had to drinks right where the store adam bill and An owl both walk over to Adam, get say both privately. These are too. The bigger comics store, bert needs to be paid regulatory and start working here, you gotta, let him get in and he just cause. I can't I don't have room for a guy. His level right now and he walked up to me and said bert. I apologize. I cannot make your paid regular I went ok and then you know me. I go right to the bar. I have another drink. Another drink I get in a car service. I go home, I wake up the next morning and I go I bert we may do so

one comfortable know your fucking dick at night can't even go there now. You know you're embarrassed to go there way to go fuck face and then I said, nope call up sam. all your friends. We're doing produce, shows its keep saying, hey man tom you can get me on. Please get me on do belly. Room shows. Do every show that is me, oh, are, do all and I just kept doing it and never never asked again. I just some arms can be working comic. This I can be worked. if that isn't a paid regular, I don't need to be a paid regular and then one night atom just came up. He was like and and it it's it's way past your due make a paid regular. I was at montreal I bombed on stage of montreal, I'm still in the fucking bottoms of my life. I bought stage in montreal in my life was made out of irregular store it worked in this make yourself comfortable shit works dude. I went there last night and I'm looking at when I see them writing those names, because I farmers yeah and I am not a fuckin, I'm not a fuckin. What of an?

Are you not cause? You don't go there probably to show what I know Adam. I love vulgar. I was so excited when he took over my good you're, the fuckin thing little glass. The other thing that makes this this you're doing the right thing. I love it's like also to do with the forgotten. My stupid. Take a plain: read the fuckin hotel, and go to the store once in a while a maybe what happened. I've seen it walking and last night, like bro gotta come down and get me. I don't want to go out. Don't want like a dog I covered a fuckin beat it. That's me, are you or a cigarette. I need you to come. Get me the door troubling needs to come in the door because I'd walk up and the guy go they'd go iD and I go actually I'm a cop mcdonald area and I go I go, I buy me, I'm ok. How much is that, however, I paid the covering all united, but they the fucking cover one, because I was so barest. no one knew of bodily and for anyone listening who goes, I'm going to shit life you'd. It doesn't have to be common

You can apply this in any way in your life, but from this is just what we do for a living. I paid the cover to the o r. What into the are just so to walk to the hallway and hang out because I'm so embarrassed that no one knew I was, and I was like. But if you didn't do that, like you know they may like? If you didn't do those things it wouldn't have fuckin It wouldn't happen they wouldn't trickled over to where you are now last night I went there and I'm I'm fuckin sit there, one of my best friends in a billboard, my fuck, your room, I mean, and an he's. The mother fucker there were on the roof, smoke a cigar, and am I fuck what that why I didn't I do this widen. I just come here years Go now. I you know, and it's a guy fuck you just go to Now you start coming down allay Jimmy gotta start doing the shit. You know what I'm doing this high, because I'm fuckin food, the eight dude. I have a forty six I now would like to use. You know what I'm doing, what

in december, a movement in europe for maybe two weeks how bad because mice, your store is my that's. It color for me right when I did the seller, I walked in one night. Why was this very reason A year ago and lives came up goes, hey you're going on and I was like no, no, no, no, I'm just hanging out tonight. Just like now, you are you're goin on those like I don't know, because no, you ve? Actually your next so get ready, and I went ok bob I can tell you this because I've known you as long as I can- and I guess I told her when else, but like my brain started, going okay and ruptured off ruptured of ranking big up and enough june start with like an old job, bummer joked that my work right get them going. If you think, then, if you want to try something again, she'll make it go rather light, don't go eight minutes eight minutes and get the bug off. Thank you very much to do or do not drink celebrating right now go get a cup of coffee. I mean I'm a fucking and selling peters and I'm fucking terrified, and so I said I got a new our I gotta get ready. I somehow make myself and comfort

Well, that's how I enjoy go, I'm a go to the ability to stand on. Well fucking nine clubs that the seller has down there are retired lives and will just go hey man? If you can get me if anywhere st just anywhere, if you guys can throw me off the seat last night, I'm like what, if she was going to too, do you want to go up, I'm going to go up. What, if I bomb, if I bomb that never going to fuck combat. I did this say I was so happy. Nobody asked me to go on later. I was so happy. Blogging murder lose you're going to get ready. I won't know, what's going on in my head right now, I can plan for the Y, though it's like I got to sydney, go dude I go up and you know would be but like what the fuck's raw data, he's got up, and you like about that is. It is what makes the demand that we are up is those those like just terrifying that fuckin insecurity this self doubt the bottom. Is the thing

lives us up to get to that next level, his last night, when I left the store I felt I was like I couldn't stood up Might I was in my room, I was fucking like what I was going to stay in a bed. In my underwear with one sock on just wake up. Look at you shit call my wife covers. She would have been like not just stay in cumbria, though, should have its own shit. Just stay in my shit. I love stay in my shit in that and I was like fuck it. I got up went and I felt great. Fucking it sire. Everybody said hidell, a bunch of people. Look it! Yes! I know. I'm gonna come back one time and I'll come in some he's. Gonna fuck me, I'm, like you, cocksucker I knew this our bond back. What the fuck are, you know, that's gonna have a sucker. You don't owe me, but it it is, you know that's did you go to the seller is the same

It gives me go to the store where I'm like, I'm I'm fuckin come back. I have to do. I have to go on deck. You go on at that club. I'm not a fucking comic, but that's not accurate, but you know that you know the work. The cheap code to this, the cheek codes, very, very simple text. say: hey, I'm a planet trip next time. You can help me out to shows that due to show tuesday, when he's going, eight o clock and ten to do both show. So you know in your head to show them that is one amazing, show, right and and and and and tech, sam and sam will be like yeah any time, silca guy yeah. What you really should do is MA. This is the real. The code is called jeremiah. Jeremiah I'd like to do your new material show, yeah, call sam, say I'd like to do what

to show, went tuesday, asia and do all three of those annual it'll. Be I'm tellin, you that's what I did the first that my first like when I started go and come back. I wanna make myself comfortable this place like there are beset halo. I said to my therapist one of my biggest goals. I want to be a guy that works at the store and he goes we'll just see you know. In it'd be a guy that works at the store. You gotta work at the store, so you gotta do whatever you can to be the guy that works at the store so that it's comfortable to you- and I went oh yeah so am. I was great, does a new material night, then in the belly room, which is no oh material. Everyone throws out subjects, you kind of risk right up your alley. Somebody asked me to do is show at the belly room on tuesday night, and I said now: what is it? Was it the one last night yeah is jeremiah new fuck, immature authority, so ever it was I dunno. If it was last night it might have been, it was as a tuesday yeah Jeremiah

material night? Is the greatest show you'll ever do because there couple. A couple other guys do that same thing and their fun to do because everyone's fake area everyone's bombing everyone's doing well, but it's not rehearsed well, so it's like laugh silence. The audience gets it we had to. I mean dat. for that is how you do it organizers next trip out here with the one of those tuesday nights. and then no that'll be there and then a new when you come to new york, you will you come up into the shed. A hundred percent, I want to say, is not like this now everyone do shed, but I've been a fan of you at the shed was the first one was bennington first former colleague when I think it was Quinn and then he had a heart attack the next day, yeah that was cool. I think it was quenya, but I've done a lot of fucking It's hilarious! How many people come up there in fucking? Do it like do, but that's it

That's the dew thing. You know they made a second fuckin shed and I mean this is crazy to I'll go jealous cause, I did The shed- and I remember I did all the stuff- and I put these little shelves up a little trinkets, and I saw you doing this thing. Fucking though the wall and the fogging of the shed I mean this is crazy. This is the best thing that ever happened to me, including the birth of my second throw. This is awesome as fuck in this room is. I see yeah. This is great. I can't believe you got a new house and oh yeah, I mean you're, going to have to make you're gonna have to do this or we're going to yeah we're going to build up a legit podcast studio and and make it this like this. We know what to do. This is all lumber from a two hundred year old barn, I get it. What your wife found all this stuff, no, no! No! No! No d! I Y networks to this. Oh really yeah, like the were like a professional designer, came in and did all this yeah. This is amazing. This is the I mean it. I remember the day this happened the day they finished. This travel channel cancelled the first season.

Besides second season of conquer they cancelled it. I at another, going to re up the deal, but I'd be cancelled. It we did the reveal. I knew I got this. we did. The reality shows cancelling. I feel like I'm, no longer worm, travel gentle and I flew out that night. Indeed, letterman came home and I went on good like I was like I've, never had a clean break, yup. I got all my blake breakups have been like horrible yeah. I was like, if that's how this ends for that me and them that's a clean break and I'm good, this is the I lasers. That's one thing about going home. Is that what you're home you know that you got it you're right, I can. If I had to, I could just do, sell a spot. Yeah and pay. My shit I wouldn't be held. Fuckin, have any taco any new shed. I'd probably have to wear the fuckin same sneakers. My kids gonna have to stay in the school and learn

spanish and an endless, and you know, and and it's ok, I'm good dude. We got a. We got after that. Afterwards, when things fell apart, I go to your wife, go we good. I saw the first thing I said is I go? Can we afford this house and she said honey? If we can't, we can't afford to live in l a runaway. What she was or or mortgage was like fucking, twenty five hundred bucks at the time she was like yeah. She is that I've set it up so that if everything falls apart, we're good yeah and I was like really she's like oh yeah- we're good like you can just do the road for three grand a week. It's all I need my wife's town. I was like okay, alright good and then, when things positive started happening, I I was very specific of going like we're, not upgrading anything like an actor. We, we got a business manager right after that,

His manager already- and I was like I Don'T- want to upgrade anything when if we decide to upgrade one to be in a place where it won't affect us, if everything goes away and they're like okay and so then we just sat on it was a it was also bored was like dude stockpile cash stockpile cash to pay off. Fucking everything make it so they can't take it away from you. So we just we haven't done. We we've had pretty great vacation, but that's it would not have been living in this place by longer than we need to that's. All you need is your wife to go literally go to her. Go I've done this a few times in my career, yeah we're going to look at me. Are we okay and she goes a couple of times she went where we can now make. Are you sure yeah we're? Ok, we're good. I mean you ve she's, like you have to work, but you have to go. I don't and by the way, I'm

I am like I mean. Obviously I would love my career to keep growing, but if, if if, if I go back to clubs, I love comedy clubs, I love comedy clubs. I would love to keep doing larger theatres. I would love to do that. I would love to do now a little more coup. Doing like I do a scripted series. I would love to do that. I want to be in charge of it, create it, but between something's burning podcast to bears one case If and and the road I can keep. I can keep the plates spinning yeah and I don't have to do. I don't have to tour like crazy. I just I figure make hay while the sun shines. The one thing I did in the last couple of years is, I don't work clubs I don't like. I only the I like. Now there was a long time, maybe a couple of years where I was working, clubs cause I had to being fucking miserable, and then I I told frosty I was like. I can't do it. I told my wife: whatever we have to do, to live this life, I can't go back I can only work these clubs and the only clubs that I do work like sides, letters those I love those clubs all

clubs I work, I love work in them so at least, were that anxiety of showing up at a place. I hate and a person I hate and the crowd fuckin stink. I don't have to do that. more so it is. It is a good spot to be in, but you know I I I've. Also I mean borough was on the told me as like. If you monetize your podcast, it's a game changer and then that was when I was like an that's. Why you start focusing on the progress go. Unlike that's my that's. My priority is my PA gas. My priority of across the board is is, will stand up, obviously, but my podcast nothing takes my partner six second fiddle to nothing,

Really, oh, like I remember, I got offered a I got offered a hosting gig and, and I did the math of it and I was like hmm. I was like I think, you're paying me less than I make on my podcast really and there were like there were like no that's impossible and I was like nah somebody's watch out, there's no middle mental agents, managers and lawyers don't get. This is me and my adds address so funny my pie cast. I the way its structure does not just me, and you know you have overhead. Well, sick. You know it's weird, I you know I started it was made the rosa. You know burs podcast, his first podcast is me. Setting up his paw I guessed no. I didn't know that his first ever episode is like a three minute episode of him going dead at Bobby's hugging at my podcast, it was a thing where you call answer machines. I remember this are never remember, used to call column on the phone up on myspace, I love those yeah

those great we release you fucking love. The we had letting thousand listeners. It was madonna, dane cook, p, daddy and then us It was a are the fourth in line on down, I got one of those and I but I couldn't. I never got the balls because it was just me yeah. I never got the balls to do it because there's a guy offered us five thousand each to do it on this podcast, professionally and colin on the one because he's such a psycho, the guy's, ok guys, you know he's gonna wanna, do it and I got a guy goes what It can. I just sell your ago. He was now not interested. I call it just let it does lead talk, because I don't want to do it because I want to do podcast. So whenever this is, and he goes I'll talk to you later and just hung up on the left.

That is something we have told column please just bring back tough crowded, podcast won't just. I know, and I go nuts that that's the thing that I got obsessed with was an and I have to once again- and I not to that we're sucking burn robins dick on his podcast, but I got a credit burn. Was he? You know he was all things comedy and he was like tell me what you want to do. I said, and I and as I wanted tom said it, but you should do that cooking, show you had the idea of we're all sin in this one room with a kitchen where we shoot it. Oh and burgos, you got a cooking show and I said well not really, but I yeah, but I think we could do one and he goes let's do it. Here's what they can you do Tom? What can you do and tom goes I can do next friday burgers. That's right! I can we get that ready and they will again, unlike our we're doing a cooking show if it wasn't for bill burr, just being the guy to go, do it, I would never be doing. Something is burning. Yeah and some burning is is is once again it's like one of those things that it's like it doesn't have to be. You don't have to have the campground,

one big fire to heat the campground. You can set little fires everywhere and if you see one going out, just feed fuel to it and it's one of those things something's burning two bears one cave burke cast, and then you know I I just- and I think fuckin when you do you don't the industry com doesn't need the industry EDA, but I need to do it. You know he doesn't. He died we did, it show was so fucking funny. releasing it now as in cigarettes. So I watch it. It is resolved fucking funny. I can't believe it and get picked up. I can't believe it did neither. I can't believe it thing. You're fucking picked up. I if she would do it. I wish somebody would step up and do cop show again cause it's one of the funniest shows on fucking tv it emin on the internet, collins of fuckin, the cow. You know you get you get you get. I guess in every playin tenure chunks, you get you get titans yeah in comedy, where, where everyone everyone looks

them is like someone they they. Everyone loves the like. You know I'll along a towel. Collen rogan Ber, they ve all been at this. These tightens the bears back in its is funny. you like watching burn. Now, like his comedies that special I was like you know I was like fuck. Do Can you imagine what patrice turned the corner his retreat, It's funny, but there was a time when he went I turned the corner. There was a of the trees that was so self sabotaging that he'd go up into a set and he just start puck talking about putting thumbs and girls' asses and you'd, be like death, knight your best material We find it funny. Yes, but you're so much you your best material you're, not doing your best material ye number. I did a co headline show with him when I, when he fucking, when it became patrice and unaware was ethnic city was co headline both on the poster. I'm gonna first he's got rid of forty five. He shows up to other guys,

They go on a mac cool, the fuck you, the fact is, go ahead. Likening because my showed porn that ego shelter is it bobby shut up they just gonna go on, that's it anne! I find the gone on fuckin know after me. whatever some shit like that, so I went up. I did my shit and murdered and then he went up and there was something different did something happened. I was in the back of the show room watching him go up and he the hour. He did was something net. It was different outcome and I went up to my poligized right of the show. I went. Listen man, I'm sorry. I go who's. Your show you, whatever the fuck that was do this. Was your your show any kind of new it. He was a good shut. The fuck up they're gone on, and he any in how you would have fuck that what you just did did you

you're you're next level. You're amazing, I think opiate anthony, gave him an opportunity to work out ideas. Date that he wasn't allowed, but I obviously have thought waxed politically in my mind about patrice a lot, but I think opie and anthony was such a great hang for you guys yeah. He used it in a way to throw out concepts and ideas. find inklings of things that became yeah. You know like especially even like his what would be considered topical stuff, though the way he'd work. It was so conversational elephant in the room. I think ass go down as one of the top ten comedy albums. Yes, vessels ever done without a doubt. Yeah I to this day when I watch it, I laugh hysteria and he goes out with crowd work. Thank you too. The audience. Participation. Bro put those tidies in the front row would like to to to to lie was african to to he when he talked to the african dude one was too

forget duly misogyny manacles tooley. What mother fund to you advocate any charge, but his name be patrice and they wanted. They wanted to name him like the tumba. His mother was fucking. Some african name he's one of the funniest. Do my belt buckle right now is murdering me. Alright, let's wrap this up. How long have we gone? Oh, my god,. Alright, two hours, twenty one area seems like nothing. Do I gotta stay at my fuckin bout popular Well, let's wrap it up. I'm going to I'm going to go, eat some lunch and then I'm going to get a drinking podcast with ARI all your mothers fuck. Ah, do you have under your belt? it hurts like sovereigns genes on planes, reggie, What do you wear sweatpants hold on? lit cigar and I have singer. Cigar has great swept hook up we were really classy looking and I looked like slacks, but the really good looking weapon My dream is what you get a sooty: what's a suits

no notice suit is no it's a suit made of sweat, pants material. But when you put it I'll looks like you were whose suit, but it's the zipper and it's a one, see this enemy. It's a one c, but it's just. soothing, I'm good right now, susie, I want to suit see so bad because you have these fuckin weddings. We were soon die I want to suit it as a zipper the fraud underneath the fuckin the buttons. looks like you wear a tie in a shared fuck em One of these immediately asserting that no jacket I still don't know. What do I want to have this pga hot he's, is great knife maker I see if I'll make you a bush craft knife o farc. Yes, I'll, get your bush a nice bush craft nice. I'm coming out in December will to a planet would do that

chad. What do the shirt is going to be called? Was not guy it'll, be great. That'll, be great, though, have hot chocolate. What are the? What are the creature? Tour groups of kids day trips with kids, are crucial: kids dot com starting october solly, close right now were everywhere, where in pennsylvania, new jersey, boston. cargo were headed down tampa? were wrong? You used. We used to do radio, you shoot back then. So it's! I think it's right now. It's around twenty dates. I think so steel evermore up on the website. We got more than a common, but its creeps. Kids, dot com me ron, Bennington, rich vos, the legend and Jim florentine. Just had florence on the just its We it's one of the funniest shows I've ever fucking. Do they call they're like hey? Would you are rumblings on your progress? I was like. Are you being fucking serious? I was like I'll fly out to him. If you need me to ronnie b is the best. everyone in of murderers yeah. You ve got your.

Arms house or europe, nor myself near my moms, and you know it. You know what did you know my mind's out? That's that's cigarettes. But can you hear your man, let's not as much as yet your mom's out, but did I I could talk to any any time unbiased years talk tripoli. Talk Jeremiah book a week come out upon a buck s. We begin the harpy. Have a cigar, I am going to come back out and when you come to new york, will fucking be working the salad together, ah and extremely nervous. I now ha ha ha. I love you buddy the this episode. Where do you by the machine,