Oh hey eyes brand new podcast and it's a good one. Thank you, everyone for listening to korea, taylor episode last week. Thank you, Corey taylor. Thank due to all the slipknot fans for beef. Cool is set and not just drawing me in the car In section for being an idiot, we are gonna. If more bands on more more rock stars on, because that was a fun fucking interview. I have already reached out to someone. We talked shit about on the podcast with corey taylor and he is up for doing the pie cash out the three eleven anyway. It's very fine work expand as an end once we get them in his studio. We're gonna really have some real fun we just gotta get into the new studio and what with going everything going on in an ally right now with the shot down, down, orders stay at home safely, home whatever the fuck. It is all in ocean.

Not really love you outside you're know out loud reappear, be people, and so we are just waiting for things to loosen up Everyone I know has covered fucking everyone, my cousins got it, but my my my My brother, not mother, every so many people have fucking covered right now, I'm so frustrated. I'm thank, Lee everyone's doing well, I don't know anyone and struggling with cobra, although I do have a body that right had a rough run of it, but where's, your well nigh locked in at my house, unlocked into my house, dubai, gas and oil thank all our sponsors respond. Aren't they as for listening to the average because I know, sometimes like get into a good part. Then we cut to an ad reading your goddamn it, but thank you for your patience, because that helps keep the lights on. Speaking of which this pocket brought. You buy buffalo trace I've a bottle in my hand. Right now usually right behind me, but I keep it on my desk when I do. I guess just case. I need a little. This distillery was the two thousand twenty distillery of the year, the samples

cisco world spirit. Competition has some the best whisky tasters in america, judging hundreds of whiskeys and buffalo trace, one the most. It was too decades ago, when buffalo trace won the same title by whisky advocate magazine since then. One more word than any other distillery in the world. Just google buzz No trace gonna see yourself administering whisky since seventeen seventy three ever since early america pioneers follow the buffalo words the Kentucky river. They even operated durham prohibition with a permit to make whisky for medicinal purposes, their master, distiller seller and charges. Ireland Wheatley, and he also makes it

I have vodka named after him called Wheatley vodka- that I absolutely love since nineteen. Ninety five harlan has been distilling at buffalo trace and if the whiskey barrel isn't ready to go to the bottle, it does not because they know they tasted. All the american buffalo represents buffalo trace his uncompromising values. The bourbon stands strong, just like a buffalo and if you look- mostly on the bottle. You'll see its balls. Is the label with the only balls on the oldest continuously, the operating Similarly, in america, buffalo trace has experienced more than its fair share of adversities floods, fires, words, recession, prohibition, the man drew them all and the pandemic and slowing them down one bit. They are now king Hannah sands. Anna ties two and the governor of Kentucky is designated bourbon essential at this time and I agree. No wonder they when all the words I might have some buff

a trace tonight. I won't because I'm on the wagon this december, but I guarantee you this new year's eve. I will be having buffalo trace. I promise you distilled aids and bottled by buffalo, trace, distillery, ninety prove frank and down a good ducky buffalo trace american family owned and independent. Let me tell you something: comic otto knives this past week, and I took me my sisters of my parents up to two macular. I went down to my fishmonger and I bought a ton of fresh fish. I then raised to my house to grab out of my ashen would boxes my coming koto knives. I also grab my whetstone this. Actually, when I have my whetstone and roll ups, I wanted these knives to be even sharper than they are. These are ultra sharp knives. I also grabbed my ultra sharp steak knife shut off the Adam Devine and ryan hit me up as I go, though steak knives are legit. Where did you get him? I said comey cotto hit him up. Tell him about your podcast coming cotto start sponsoring.

Pod guest. These are steel knives source from Japan. Each blade is crafty, using techniques have been home to protected by gender it's a nice myths and they are so much fun to pull out, especially the ultra long, twelve and knife. I then I then got the rap I stuff, all my knives in the rap raft up. I use these knives non stop. non stop their use by the several chefs, overcoming iceland star reference around the world and it is on these knives cut this perfectly so often when you come back with a bullshit knife, it cuts and in your sitting there sawing through the skin on the back when you're cunning, similar or like, or we have broke bass, not these coming curto knives, one beautiful sight put up. I had tuna Turning to the upper a little water guide, dogs

I put a little water on it cause. I was cut a bunch and I'd sliced down one slice all the way through, on the other side of the skin. On salmon elements drive past the tuna go to my instagram stories. You'll see all of it is gorgeous. They make great gifts. If you're looking for a gift. This christmas, there are perfect because of the company's beautiful wood box, wood boxes and the knives are there presented in, and they have this great whetstone comey caruso comment about there but his knife comes with a lifetime guarantee. I'm telling you right now. If you go ahead and go right now and buy right now, cami Cotto is offering our listeners an extra fifty dollars off sitewide, on top of the biggest sales of the year, go to kamakura dot com. Sys Burton use the offer code burt for an extra fifty dollars off that K, a Am I k o t o dot com, slash bertha, commie, koto, dot com so I support kay em. I care o t o dot com, size, bert, thank you,

to all my sponsors. Thank you I'll say it again. I say it again. It means a great deal means a great deal and thank you too. You guys you got your fuckin awesome. You really are. I appreciate you mentally immensely. I am trying to lose weight. Tommy's, far immobile talk about tommy's forward inside around this to national gave gerardi recorded it. We're doing to burial kid tomorrow morning with especial guess those just you say I am bringing my genes right. Is I get him that the gas sources anyway? We have special just as this week and we will talking in detail about what has gone on autonomy and it is in texas, and it is the reason I am eating healthy and not drinking because to watch him too hot- it's it's fucked my head up to see to see it go in a second to see it happen in a second. Him go from him, dunking on a fucking, nine foot, rim too, to laying they're gonna go online on one. It fuck me up it, but my head up and down

but yeah, but I'm not losing this month, and I'm a being healthy, I'm working out I'm on my way to one thousand miles, you're your pricing bert. Where are you at different times? I messed this up for the record. I was looking at a year to date, not realizing it was counting. It was counting previous months from two thousand and nineteen, so likewise I'm at nine hundred and thirty five miles. That was including my december from last year So if I ever told you a number and it seemed behind, like he's almost got it well, where the different place today, guys are number for running for this year is open. Nine hundred and twenty one miles, I have eighty seventy nine miles to go before we get to thousand seventy nine miles how many days twenty three days left in december. Let's see what right twenty three

is left in december. Holstein lets you seventy nine divided by twenty three is I gotta run three point four three but I gotta run three and a half miles every day. Every day I ran by the web, and nine yet last night and I ran five today. and I'm a five mile guy, never run three miles. I always run five at least, and then, if I'm pushing it and by the way I feel gigs, I'm losing weight abbas like fourteen pounds and I feel good so in losing weight. My new start feeling better and I start getting a little more excited. and when you're not up they're going. Ok come on you're fat fuck. Let's do this so We're on we're on track, guys eating a lot of salmon shut the leeway my face guy over them. joint adrian ventura. They are awesome deeds and they have they have the best fuckin fish, and that's all I'm

right now. It's fish, I'm doing pesky primarily this month spain, which only look you could get over my daughter's. Today's podcast is Sam morale, no sam, SAM I've handled bunch during quarantine, because for whatever reason we ve been chatting a bunch, women shouting Sam is without a doubt we talk about this. In our view that one of the best joke writers and our business at this time there- ample arise that are just killing it where the lead and look at and they go nasdaq guys doing it right and sam is one of them without question he's, one of them he's also. He he's one of the guys that was the first gotta, throw up a special on you too. He did that at the beginning, a quarantine. I are not like seven million views and he's doing it again, he's done it again. He's gotta move

well he's going to a movie he's, got a special called up shot on the roof up on the roof up on the roof upon the roof. It's on youtube will post a link and the descriptions will post the link I'll post about it tomorrow, we'll post all about it will probably shoot a clip. In the clip from it on there, but he shot it in quarantine, probably one of the most beautiful specials I've ever seen him- and I say this to him and colin quinn- have to the most beautiful specials I've ever seen, both using the backdrop of new york in their show, and I'm telling you it starts to make you think. It's like you, remember those old and austin or austin city lights and they'd shoot music with austin behind it. City limits, austin city limits, fucking gorgeous men as a gorgeous special, and it's absolutely hilarious sam, as is the top this game without question, the top of his game and the fact that he's making these specials and he's making them accessible to everyone. Try

when I say when touring opens up, there will not be a ticket to be had for sam He is I've known sam for a long time. We first work together in kan, connecticut and hartford connecticut, and I fell in love with the guy he's. An awesome dude check out his special up on the roof. It is awesome. Sam is awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome, stop, saying, awesome bird, hey without further ado. Today's bert cast stammering the two hundred thousand views on the new special sam congratulate an actual person. I appreciate it, but I haven't even really posted much about postal ones, but siguro did a big post about it. That was so nice of a man. I was so fucking cool

Everyone here is rose, weren't wonderin. They know your kind of really Take like you're, not you not like him, you're, not a bigger by god. Promotion die like we're out there going like come come see me live on. best in the world you kind of a very humble guy, but everyone called you. The word on the street. Everyone is saying ass down, one of the top five best joke writers in the business sankey man- I don't know if general consensus, but that is needed, isn't exactly what cigarettes said on his person. and that's what I mean. That's what everyone saying everyone saying you jokes are fucking amazing, but you feel you feel it or did you go like? I know the feeling I am very much like alright. I guess that's done it's hard to feel that you probably feel this way too. I mean it

hard to feel the good I mean did when you did the cabin you probably got so much love for their me. It's hilarious, I just watching you with Caitlin jenner. I was like how, though Did that happen? How the hell is caitlin jenner part Why could I get like the comedy people, but like caitlin? That was maybe the best episode. I think that was a fun episode that was, it was what's even funnier is that they didn't show it but Nicky's row. This is your was watching your stressful yeah. I know. or just know it would seem, fires nicky glaser was got there. and was like this very fine, so what's the deal? kind of broke down like hey. This is what we're gonna do we're gonna just hang out gobsmacked, throw in some bull's eyes, can be fun. We gotta lasso an issue it's just me and you and I was like no, it's caitlyn jenner. She was like wait. What I go.

It's gonna, be me caitlin, oh, I should have told you that like, and that was like right after she saw right after she waxed my ass. We just sit in a kitchen bullshit them with a camera round, as she panic as she was like Oh, my god, I think she hates me. I go why she was what I did all those joke about her on the on the roast, and then there was like a listed jokes. I was allowed to do or that she would definitely walk off the cen, and I went on stern stated that all of them as I do you think it's you heard area. These were fox mouselike. Ah, It's always weird. When those jokes, I like you can't like we did william shattered it rose, she was like you can't do a joke about me, may be murder in my wife and I go isn't that all you really wanted but look about now. Five. When someone tells you you can't it's like fuck these are strangers. Islamic sinatra arose her dear dean

rose words like just it's part of the crew, but when it ass strangers, you like well. That's what I want to give you my friend Dena. His sham yeah s great, she had the most vicious and to me funny, but also vicious rose jokes have ever heard. She was roasting. Roast battle against. I David Kenny, whose a funny comic his mom dies in immodest, a glance accident him and her line on him is Dave lives. The way as mom died and unrecognizable road feature. That is I dont know Joe to a town and he was a god, keep its surface which, by the way, how about like how someone looks you guys, like digging into people's pass than inoculated at its inching? How people are feel about jokes, because jokes are meant jokes, really are meant to kind of bring like too subtle

serious like our earlier earth, but elliot page came. I am transgenic trends, trans Julia and was the word you announce our he day and now, and I and I start trying to write jokes, like just like, like like real quick. What can I write and then and then and then I read his statement and it's like I am terrified of the jokes that are going to be made and you're like. Oh I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, I'm just trying to make a joke like I'm not here to like you, we are that's itself pointed out. This is like the biggest moment, no life nilghai. What can I do with this you're not going to get a year and it's like as like? How can I not market but like like I started, Sorry, I'm in the shower! I just read it am I m a huge fan of umbrella academy? Okay,

meeting? I am, I think, she's great. He d, never easy by dude Jim shit. I'm already cancel. It is too late. For me, we joke god. Damn it stop stop now you got me, do it. He said you're not going to be canceled. Just I think if I read this credit correct, he said you're not going to be canceled for miss january me or something was that effect, but he was like just be mindful that I'm a human and I was like oh yeah and then I started going so weight is the point of I'm never trying to dehumanize somebody, but I my instead it is to write the joke yeah. I wanted to do a bit about that. Like I, I did a gig in in naples, Florida and the guy running the gig wanted to be called. He said he wanted to be called captain he's. Like call me call me captain. I was like a wall. Are you a captain? He said:

Oh that sounds like. While I get a lead to me, that's like where I draw the line like if you're a he or she or we or they would ever make that's cool, but, like I don't want you to skip a rank. That seems like unfair to me, like just like like you, don't get that we you don't get it just gets scale. Was that something that you work for that they now you know so that that was a one angle. I thought of I'm thinking of other angles like I have a lot of trans jokes in this special, but I don't think any him or me. I have a trans cousin, so that was a good thing. My mom was, of course you know. Four were her. About safety. I think like anyone in family when you're like, oh, I hope they feel safe and a girl. I know that jokes, like you're, another guy, where you like, none of your jokes, are malicious. You are like uh yeah, don't have any guy adami intend to hurt someone's feelings ever I ever. As my that's like my maybe it go because when you young, I think when you're young young, you, like, I wanna, be the edges guy out there and then walk a few people in your like. Oh, I just turned what they were. Hoping was a great knife into one of the world's top five. What worst nights are there?

Why are you like? I always I was always trying to write. Caitlyn jenner, jokes back in the day I had one like back in the day was like caitlyn jenner people would say like one was like how people are like she's, you know brave, and it's like weird to me when people are considered like if I get my eyebrows done. My friends are like your fucking pussy, but if I would have, if I would like become a woman like you're you're, a hero, you're very grave like it's like all about you, gotta go all went on me. yet another one but I have to go all in on it. If you're gonna go those angles, you got it. That's the I mean toss was brilliant at that. The life really just overdoing, not caring like really not guaranteed, and it is there

it's something super refreshing about a guy who says something like you're in his kitchen and he's eating cereal. Yes, you know yeah yeah, it's important to this with those jokes like you can half ass it, you gotta go hard and it tash really is a master at that I mean he had so many good job. it's about where he was just fuckin up. He came off as heartless and you knew but because he's so heartless you, like you know it's a joke, joke. I love touches joke about how he he was. He went to see a kid it make a wish and they told him that Kevin durant was his first choice like that fuckin brow, This alone is, like you know, is a decent guy cause he's going to make a wish like touch. going to this day, I dunno. If he was fucking with me, like giving the kid the laugh on. You is so funny to me. I I think tosh has, I think his standup is kind of underpriced

I know it's really and repeated. I really under pressure tat. You look at those vessels and it's like no them really popped the way. The way the other people. Specials have pop them in comedy central. That's. Why, though, I mean when, when you you're on tv, you know how it goes. It's like, like you had. You did a comedy central special right. I think so yeah that crazy, the king of comedy, could not break me means tat, we may have a heart governor specialised. It was on germany, central and it wasn't until it got released on you too, that it became air, What are we gonna do now? You gotta just throw down on youtube and that's what it's either networks, youtube alike. I don't know. I think those are the options that we are only pitch, my new special netflix and once they said nels like youtube,

I agent was even going to h, b, o or amazon. He was like that. He said name of the comic that's broken off in h, b, o or amazon special in the last few years like I used to like it doesn't happen, so I don't think I yeah, I think it's netflix or youtube these days for a comedy special, oh and youtube, so valuable man. You look at. I mean that I dunno what what we can can or can't talk about in this conversation, but I will tell you, We did talk about. We had a conversation where you should put your special. I literally was like you to bank. You get those fans yourself, my girlfriends come to you and then they subscribe your channel and then you just look. They may not love you put it. There's a lot of people on subscribe to that. I don't watch every day, but if something interesting, that they ve done pops up I'll check it out here and there in my front page every time I click on youtube, yeah, that's a good point, yeah just just doing just putting should out of the world to like you know. This was definitely like this last

show is definitely the most stressful special because it was on roofs. I mean I on rooftop, so isn't like every time there was something would go wrong. Every night I didn't realize I should shoot, especially on a pandemic until I did a gig in the back yard, so we're doing a show in some passengers. So. He gave me the address something bleaker street sobs I am with my friend, Rachel Feinstein would just shoot. The guy text me like. Where are you and I said, we're at bleecker street and he goes oh, it's bleaker in brooklyn, so I'm like fuck, alright, like that's an icon, manhattan street. You should have said that whatever reason they're late or they're late, we go to the roof and he's like. Oh we're not at the roof anymore. Like everything about this show is a shit show, and I said what happened to the roof and he goes well there's a party on the roofs they kicked us out. They kicked the comedy. Also some kid could dj sound like it's like doing. Money is now a turf war like everything, a thing so the show, so they would, some back yard. Some woman gave us backyards. We get to the backyard. It's it's a shit shit. She's hammered she's like just had

we in every comic, gets her back yard, so she's box? You won't, let me and she's like fog, white man, fuck, the patriarchy and other geography. It's your show that you're ruining this is not the patriarchy. This is your backyard, so she wanted let me use the bathroom. I have to go to a roof and just piss on a roof. I go back there and stares big our europe. Embalming is a bad backyard. Had set was hilarious sentences; they, this back yard, was bad as opposed to other back it's better onboard where the hardware wasn't nine of again an amber I mean until she starts getting women they arts gape. Arts gave I golly, I go there's but embalming and she until she starts happily means like nonstop, and I just start burying or like hair, every line and Finally, she just comes on stage and grabs. A mite for me was like you're a fucking. I hear people were billinger alike. The one show I didn't videotape. This would have been amazing. Could I'm just a hammer in her and she

get the fuck outta here and my mom she's. The only thing that was salvage was someone videotaped her doing that to me. So I just posted that cause. I thought it was the funny and my mom was actually could have given you covered, which I like alright right, but I mean you, don't have to be sure have to be pretty fuckin all to do that and get me covered, but anyway I that point am I I gotta start videotaping. These sets cause shit is going horribly, but it's horrible, unlike a beautiful way. It's like it's like kind of like this glee beauty. the cities of mass people are anchored in the street. It's like fuckin bourbon street in new york city. on performance rooftops with these insane views. That's the thing, that's the thing that so under state

in your special. Is I gotta be honest. You and Colin Quinn had the two most gorgeous specials I've ever seen in my fucking life, though you're you're back his backdrop was like cultivated and manicured by a production team who scouted locations, I'm certain I mean his backdrop. Is fucking I caught mine was cultivated through instagram stories. Does anyone have a roof in any part of manhattan or brooklyn? That was that was how it was over just, but there was a lot of there's a lot of tech issues because of that because he had h, b o behind him. I had it literally like we get to the root can they be like the outlets? Don't work, maybe like farc all right. I guess this was a lost. A roof like it had to do. The show without lights would be there be approved, album every every night, literally every night, they'd be like we need. My director would fight with me cause they'd be like we needed to start right as the sun sets cause. I wanted to look pretty and I'd be like well, six People are yourself, so I can't just do

just do an hour for six people I mean maybe I could have, but I wanted to wait till people know and shows up on time. For a roof show, no one is like a really nice It's not like the comedy seller with like thirty minutes before you got a line of no no and gives a shit because I'm a guy can show up whenever so then I I had to start charging because I'd start bombing at the roofs and note no one respects a free show, so I had to start charging people to come. Proved so, unlike Billygoat, then mommy and I'll give you the address. It was like the the shadiest deals I was doing literally. Everything was so stressful. Stress. Automation makes it why forty people then moved me. That means probably thirty, five or shop. Is that enough, taping, like just figuring out and aid to make it work with very, very stressful. So how big was your crew? It was me this young orthodox jus named Josh.

I fear who I feel, like I corrupted horribly just being around me, then a dom Dominic mole who brought a drone who also ended up editing my special but drought, a drone so like insane city shots with the around so every show when I say every night we did I ten knights. When I say every night something went wrong which some show and Williams broke. Some could just like knox's drawn over is like the propeller broken. Unlike some budget brow, look. You're, drown, camera, that's a good, expensive camera. So every day. in and we did a show with the cops came like we. I wish we got the footage man I wish like we didn't. You we only got the footage of people being like the cops are here, but they didn't actually come inside. I can't put than that in the special, unlike flocked, to tie jobs. There are totally here. I wish I could show you so that happens. One

I we had Matt, Sir Alex used my director, who is like just a fuckin, incredible, just incredible, dude native new yorker. Like me such a such a great guy- and I will I mean it's like so much credit goes to him. You know with with this, as does do you think this will affect the way people shoot? Specials in the future is that you get to shoot it. Does you specials fantastic, and I think people start looking at it going? Well, he didn't do one night: he just didn't. Do two nights he'd any people? in there before, like rock that data to tell did that with roadwork or rock. Did it, but like rock kind of did it where he like was like here's the trick we do in one of his specials chris rock special was like he would repeat. The point line which I can't. I don't want to do that. I I think it's cool. They did something different, but I just I I like the election. I it's almost like magicians, given away the trick. I like the illusion that everything is spontaneous and

like, obviously rift alot alot of it was improvised, but I had some jokes. Obviously, in in how you come with jokes, but I like the idea. I dont overtall influence. That's my fears that, unlike for months no one's gonna want to watch this ever again, so I go in. I was some fuckin awful thing we hope thrill. Why would I want to watch an outdoor special now networks is releasing indoor specials now so I do think it'll influence for me. It was like also you know. I had already released a special this year, I'm rusty as fuckin hell. I haven't been doing clubs ethic. I thought you were touring constantly. I wasn't touring like that, so I I I also did it multiple venues. to cover up how rusty I am you know one just like it wasn't, just a guess choice. I was like I'm fucking bad, a comedy right now. Let me cover up some flaws It's amazing! It's amazing, I think

I was the beauty of all comics. It will all like, though we have a bunch of shared experiences, but one the first share experiences is just how good you are when you're going up all the time, because you never get to feel what it's like to be added lulli rusty and then all of I mean rogan was like. I listened to a tape of me doing stand up before I got on stage like an end. All of us have the feeling of being wrought iron man I was, I was bambi legs and I remember the first thing I said was: I said something my wife and I go out, she's getting old and a lay laughed and I went, I don't even mean make you laugh like, oh god and back baby. Did I laughed so fucking hard in the cabin went. First off your wife rule

like she is, so she is funny and she is such a good sport, but do when your kids ass, if you were in Riyadh now is like one of the hardest got last thou is now is incredibly phony. The added going back on stage for the first few times was was pretty. It was a rush. The first said I did back was in health kitchen, literally on a sidewalk like honest I'd want. People are walking by just give me dirty looks, and I was like. Oh, we are. We have become the dude that walk under the subway like. I would not have been surprised if I got like booking requests like four fourth car the de train you're on subway, it's a heart because you women members, starting out when we had to do ambush, shows oh yeah. I mean you don't know comics would do shows where. So I remember I did a show, you do it oh: will you go and stage would be? Well, I don't know this and you would tell you tat,

a room full of people that maybe may be having dinner. You guys ready for comedy and maybe like fuck, no I'm on a day. Of course, not and you were just tell jokes and bomb it was humiliating, but I remember doing that once in manchester pub in midtown manhattan and I just left to aim university to pursue stand, and I I I remember, I I taught a frat. They were like what are you going to like join a friend, and I said no, I'm gonna I'm going to do stand up and I go on stage as four people in the crowd. It's for people from that frat. It's just that's the only people in the crowd. I had left college to to do that. And they were like this is fucking pathetic like day is literally me just happened to be like, So what you guys from out of town, you know meat is having to eat shit for people. Who knew like they knew. I had failed basic way and I had to just be like polite

and- and it was like, I have to tell them like it's going bad, but it's not going this bad like every night is not this, but just fucking humiliated. You know this podcast is brought to you by hymns. Oh, let me taste that about ems. If you've not heard me talk about hymns and you're, not listening to this podcast two bears one cave bill. Burt. Let me tell you something: this is one stop shop for men's wellness, sexual wellness, hair loss. I love hymns. When I was twenty two I started losing my hair. I did something about it. If you are losing her like sixty six percent of of the men that are age, thirty five, then you need to do something about it. It bit starting to move back, stop it moving back, don't turn to bullshit solutions like snake oil pills or I sold out of a gas station. You need to turn to real prescriptions, backed by science. I'm telling you hymns is created by dude who knew men. He knew men, don't like having a lot of conversations in person for most men would

wanna go to the doctor. I go to the doctor on thursday and I don't want to go I'd rather just go online. That's what they did. They set it up, so you can just go online and deal with everyone. No more awkward in person. Doktor visits, no long pharmacy lines for hymns connects you with licence professionals online, which it will save you hours completely confidential and discreet answer a few quick questions and a medical professional will review, and if they determine that the prescription is right for you, they can prescribe medicine that will treat your hair loss and ship it directly and discreetly to your storm door. Like I said these are prescription solutions back by science today, hymns of giving new their best offer you out of your mind, happy with the result after ninety days. Hence will refund you fool food, they will give you a full report on right. Now. My listeners get there first visit.

Absolutely free, go to for hymns dot com, slash burt cassette for him dot com, slash, bearcats, disclaimer prescriptions were an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if subscription is appropriate restrictions apply, see website for full. Details of us were important safety information. Remember that's for hymns dot com! Slash bert, cast I'd like to give a shout out to today's sponsor whoop. Look at this I dunno there you go, you can see I'm charged up. I just got off the treadmill at my strain outweighed my recovery, which is an awesome. Let me tell you something: two thousand: it's coming to an end and we're all trying to get healthier. Some of us, whilst our best friend break his knee and his arm and it freaked out. We want to change our lives I, and how do we do that? We measure and track and quantify behavioral changes by the you're looking too, despite the dry january or a dry december, like your boy, improve overall shape, marty down fourteen pounds or hit your next personal best. Whoop is the best fitness tracker

you can you can find to achieve the goals of buys twenty four seven personalize insight that quantifies? How well you sleep perform. And recover. That's what I love about it. I love that I can go to this app I go to every morning and find out how well I slept like having a personal trainer on your wrist cause. Then I go out to the treadmill. I hit the strain coach. The strain coach shows me within a spectrum. How far are how hard I need to work out and with today, what's going on in today's society, where you sitting in your house nutritional and sometimes you dont- want to push it tab little what's on your wrist and in your in your phone and have your phone up on your treadmill watching knowing you gotta keep pushing harder. I'm telling you is the best fitness tracker, I've ever used and the best membership I've ever seen for just thirty dollars month. You get personalized insights, twenty four seven, the quantify the data to help you better understand your body on a deeper level. Whoop goes beyond just packing, calories and heart rate. It monitors sleep, strain recovery, all with personalized, be back in real time within their own.

The big reason my recommended to anyone trying to achieve their nears fit fitness resolution this year build, better healthier habits in general and for my listeners everything about gettin, a whoop or given awoke, or just furthermore, the shot this is their best deal yet to try it out. Just all you gotta do see for yourself get your first month of whoop for free when you sign up for their six month Membership had over two w h, o o p dot com. Slash bert cast, get started for zero dollars join whoop. Today, sleep better recover, faster and train smarter this season and beyond that Oh I did. I completely remember those days I com. Lately I looked back at those days and go I remember. I ended up doing a tv show with Adam hunter called ambush comedy where we will ya, it s a tv show work is Adam hunt. was like the king of it

He would go into a laundry mount. What we were doing. Laundry just start being stand up while he was here. Adam. Hundreds of instinct is because he is one of the like he's one of the hardest working mother fucker was out there and he's always boston his ass and he's I mean, He is like states, time hungry, non, stop What were you guys sharing with us? sharing info about what gigs were open was up. There was there like a attacks, change on honour, or was it like this? send them where they were like we're more, it more. I can imagine mark norman being like I got a gig, I'm not gonna. Tell anyone about this one. That's just me yeah. No normal is. We were tax, a little bit about which seeks to do. We I mean mark, was doing the road hop it like when I was trying to catch cupboard It was weird remarks like I'm like married, be careful and he's like. I hung out after the show, and I'm like you just hanging out with all the local comics like it it was weird

Moreover, I see I see, I see videos, it's literally. He was here was like one of those kids in taxes it spring break, going go in. Only the old people get it, but then my girls, who knows it, I'm so scared again so it'll, be like? Oh, it's very scary at them like. I know, you're, not scared. I know you're just saying this for me, but yeah I mean mark was going so hard and I mean I still text bitch with norman all the time, and yeah, he would give me shows here and there I was doing like rooftops that were like I started doing your comedy club do rooftops then I would like go up occasionally. Unlike the sounds insane the east river amphitheatre, I was perform. Literally, like you? U turn in the lake, less of it make more of an investigative journalist cause this kid. Josh fear was just follow me around with a camera and we're, like you, know, pass no, the housing projects in the lower side and

three young kids on bikes circle. Ass, someone goes, fuck you to me, I'm my and then as they run away. I turn a josh like. Did you get that up? A? U turn and alike returns It's like a war zone and we were like, oh my god, all right. We get that footage so yeah it would be on the East river. We gotta, you know whenever Abu would have a show we'd go to, and then it turned into a thing where I was like. What am I like being stupid, am I you know risking, so I just wanna make sure my computer is plugged in I I was. I am I being stage time so I'm all right now. If this is dangerous, I don't like you know and on the subway for like a ten minutes spots, serbian, the guy at my own show. Only let's do it. Give me like forty five minutes. You don't have to pay me what I just. I just need the stage time. so then I started doing my own show, because when you do another, people show you kind of them at the mercy of their rules like here's. What we do for a covert like one. MIKE. We don't wipe it down.

We all hang out and a dirty tank you have to french kiss the house and a guy. I want to do my own show and I would just be like. I recommend a mask if you dont want aware that school, what I mean like that heavy duty when, when you make the rules, that's the like. At the first thing I texted, I want to say I texted Nikki or someone was going to maybe whitney someone was about to go on the road and they were like hey. What are these shows like? I was like while there you're shows, so you tell them how you wanna done. I go there. if everyone's gotta wear a mask, everyone's gotta wear masks, my big thing was stretch out the the walkway to get to stage cause. If it's normal, they just start touching you man, can't stop it ever was touching. You do jumped on me now and end Antonio corona raves me, just as I can, Oh, I run a rape, that really really feels that way when people kind of don't respect. I that's my thing like look. I have my.

Our fears, their people. That are more scared me. I just try to be respect for whatever level, even if, if feels good dick, he to me like I live in an elevator building Sometimes I there's an older lady and she goes. If you don't mind, is it yeah I mean like I'm not going to do? I don't want to fuck with your piece. I don't wanna fuck with your sanity. So whatever is your comfort level? I think you should just try to respect people's comfort level it. Stressful time. So that's the that's the one thing I am. I can understand it. comes down to like types of people I like and types of people I dont like when, when. I don't have a problem with you not wearing a mask. I don't have a problem you going out and go and restaurants your family, and in I don't have none that bothers me for real, none of it. I actually, I kind of them a little jealous thing. You can live like that. Here that europe, that your brain doesn't keep you up at night and

If you go, if I get it, I get it. I wish I could be like that, but but also afford me the exact same respect when I'm like him and we gotta keep a little soul. distance don't get up like. Oh. What do you want this fuckin stupid people to believe even a shit? I now so that's who you are for everything like. You can't deny the fact that I go hey man, I'm going to mask and I need to keep distance because I'm also with nine dudes we're living in a bubble and I'm asking them not to break the bubble. So I'm not going to go break the bubble, because you want to get a shirtless picture with me. Please backed it like a poorly the exact same respect I give you yeah it is, it is very how about who they are there? The person that, like when get an elevator when whatever like a gown, the subway, though the person like get, on before they let people off like oh you're, just an inconsiderate human being you're, just a person so yeah I mean

I, though some shows my special warlike people were not distance, be know what that's their roof and now is their choice. The group of friends. They would have done that without me. They would have it on to dinner without me and then, when it was like shows that I promoted of my people, I said hey, you know I'd appreciate if you were mask, but if you don't want to do that, that your choice, so everything outdoors is a little different, and then indoors, and that was kind of the protocol. I mean I got a lot of messages from people when we were shopping. This a little is, is that who this is like bad optics? You know like that. Just people not being distanced in all the shots and, but I said you know the groups of friends that would have sat that way at dinners. That's kind of my argument. This is the law and I

You know we just tried to be reasonable, and you know this is a free country. I wish coverage been handled differently, like obviously like the way, restaurants and- and I am sure you agree with us- restaurants in bars and all these businesses that are already incredibly risky. The way they ve been supported by the government is fuckin just unforgivable like because you're going to bail out the airlines and the hotels, but how about these people that this is their lives, work. This is their livelihood. It's everything it's it's so awful and it affects people we care about, and it's it's fuckin, it's ugly out there. It's a passing all these restaurants. You, like I love that place. I liked that person that was a human being so yeah shit. I I I wish was handled differently or going to an email or a text from mark Grossman. Who was like hey man, you know we're in trouble and we need help, and I was like

and I don't think I replied, but I want to put the tweet out nose like dollar is due to this end I ignored anyway. Now read the tweet, but it has. Thing was ike have people held a congressmen and I was like yes ignored. Gonna. Do that nowhere, the congressmen and then I'm like, and then I look like a guy. That's like hey, I don't talk about politics, except when it direct We affects me, like I'm not talking about another year, virtue signalling about lives matters of trans rights are all these things will be would light me up for saint gimme. Maybe when it comes to account, Come on like hey guys, I gotta go box and I'm gonna use it like. I used to, but I don't think you that's. Why doesn't mean I just don't think its political. I'm like these are small businesses, nobody, nobody. At the same token, I I I don't get. I try to stay out of all that shit

all that shit and I don't want smoke, but I'll. Do whatever ask for fucking money I'll give you money like I'm not going to like and know how much you wanna bet my phone rings. Marc Grossman is like, did you say money how much money yeah, he has run great clubs zone and you gotta be great re clubs and I don't want them to go away, but he's got what one in one of saint louis one portland one in philly like what congressmen are less well it s so complicated, I like him, and I don't have a of nine congressman's different numbers. This is a new

it's not the cabin, it's the it's call your congressman. It was just like, and then I was like. I don't. I don't even know what the fuck to do in texas for granted like because I came in. I don't think me and you tweeting about the clubs is going to really do it like birds is doing live, shows at them like doing podcasts at them to trying to promote it, and I was like I can do something like that like I can. I can help, but you gotta give me a better workaround, then just tell everyone to call their local congressmen. I'm like that's fair. That's it's tough man and it's also tough, like I feel like we mock like people in the public eye who who tell people to register to vote. I mean that's literally like I. I make fun of people like that constantly, so I just got asked to do something that was like er. The vote type thing which, by the way I'm like didn't, then it already happened. That was my first thing was voted. I thought we handled that, but I mean I just got a thing about then I was like, I feel like it's kind of hypocritical of me to to do something like that being like

register now to people when I'm. I, finally, is it not just just like a born celebrities and I'm not a celebrity, but when, when celebrity, do fuckin shit like that when you, when you saw that imagine video you like Will this set us all back We will. We would have beaten trump by more effort if stanley tutsi wasn't singing. So I am I dont get me started on on but you know it's funny. You everything I sat on ice, yet I shied pollyanna shimmer I'll. Tell you why I was shooting on her explaining voting as like. Are you fuckin suit till the end like this is wrong hurried, chelsea Adler all over here and there like vote this well that and then and and the ones like well, you know they're they're, just doing it for people that don't know you know, but there are people that don't know, and I said I don't does anyone that doesn't know that follows down me who follows them is like rich white women. Also right

The aim is got ten million followers. I aim is a good friend of mine. I respect which areas and areas a good friend of mine. This ends good, ok, don't you have done so I know I know defend you if someone says something about the pressure on a pike s as well, and so also know it's agnes ember sacking of em are first someone says about going to the poles to vote and I go Who are you can vote that you can only vote on november? Third and the un's like now that's what amy and chelsea works waning is that because of cover, the poles are open a little longer, and so people have genuine shut, the fuck up into their base. You, said, Elizabeth god. They imposed you're sidney sitting on celebrities telling you out, and you didn't know about. I can a gradual defined at the arrogance of sometimes with with certain people, an idea.

Imagine video to me was so out of touch, and so just like I don't get the purpose of that to me. That was like. I don't understand what this accomplishes. This is. This is people, I guess, talented people just singing for the sake of it. I dunno have had a couple of drinks now I know I was this close to being that that first comic that didn't have a comeback song and then you find that you see the guy. Do it and you're going. Oh thank god. If the dog chapel, where are you going to do it? I was like I was like I texted cigarette, would have been funny as hell of you and cigarette did it. I said we should seen the ab sees me or just go back and forth and fuck them up, and but I just I I thank god, you gotta be I Any of those combat videos reaction, videos of celebrities, just some stupid- it so hard to get it right. It's so hard to eliza poverty, provide the really funny one. I think

important to remember that we're just you know we are entertainers, we're we're comedians and- and I think it's important not to take ourselves too seriously because like like we got, you know we we get work by being silly and telling jokes and shit man amends so sometimes when I see comedians get to a point where they're just kind of virtue signaling on twitter and get to a point where they're, just like all about saying what right, rather than what funny I am like book every once in a while show your fans where you stand on shit, but you gotta still be funny every once in a while. There are a lot of comics out there, just like just being like this is wrong.

All right right, a fucking joke about it. That's the job we all had. I not for that's the hard part did a regional content original content. Is you know you are you forget? The majority of people in hollywood came out here well aware they could never create anything original but mean the majority of. Among yeah, I'm not shitting on my team, I'm not shitting on my lawyer, my business manager, agents my manager, I'm not shitting on any of that. Right all my friends of her comments that bert you signal on us not all the actors, Please remember that those a lot of those people they came out here, wanting to be famous or wanting to be successful without any real driven goal. Like say, like a Steven Spielberg regime, the gaelic, you only get a ham. All these fuckin really brilliant, like cabin heart, Amy shimmer of Joe rogan yourself.

If you only get a handful of people andrew shots of vodka in a bedroom, I realize I'm a I'm a comparing a bunch of comics to Steven Spielberg James cameron, but there's we have a people that really have a drive to create and are comfortable, creating and failing and then you get a lot of actors. I can think of one dude right now that I follow on twitter and I hate read his tweets. He is not. He is not a he's, a very talented actor, but he is not a funny individual, but he plays and funny movies, but he's not funny at all. He does is slam trump every single day and you'll? that is not a grand and I think you dislike up- has been so bad for comedy biggest trump is already like it's tough with jokes. When you start already at the most, extreme, like those that's around with job is like everyone's: they make it like. It.

just a noise me like the responses that, if, when people like sincerely responded trump on twitter, like your terror born, it's like, I know, but it's like what yeah he is new. Here's is a fucking professional troll. By the way he has just doing what is just doing what Reagan did reagan much in its document on Reagan whose reagan's first president, I remember like remember, jimmy as our president, by really remember him, I remember ray in being elected member? That reagan was the one who coined the term, make amerika great again. Reckon you want to succeed as republican channel reagan in anyway. Ragged dog, whistle racism. Tell me people, they're gonna, get richer, fuckin, run the economy up! That's amid trump did I mean it were tat until the white suburban that their that there's the suburbs of going away Allah Nixon. That is our other move. Yemen,

I mean trump. Is it's going to be weird? It feels like trump in order feels like it's, like Biden is like a lame dad and trump is a drunk uncle, here I mean words like it's: it's the lame dad is annoying, but it's better to live with a lame dad. Then a drunk uncle yeah you're right I would much rather emmy. Listen, don't get me wrong! Verona! Vacation sharp is way look trump is more fun and Biden. If I'm going a party, and I want a party with trump, but if I'm living in a home. You I mean look, you don't want to live in afraid house forever. now, you're gonna be the old guy at the bar by the way I didn't realize tat. Just go back to your camera thing meant you fuckin, you do a lot

like. I, I think I know you're a busy guy, but then I think about like you have a family. You have your good dad, you're, a good husband. You you put out specials, you do your pod. You're out all the time. You hang out you you have friendships like like dude, when do you fuckin sleep icily pretty hard? I sleep sleep pretty aggressively, greg sermons tat. I shall have led to a busy guy describe sleep there you go. I sleep, hard luck and busy did gregg fitzsimons made my life so much easier. One night we are sitting at the at the at the store and I was having a drink, and I said I gotta get the fuck out of here and he said why, unless I gotta get up with my kids and he goes why I said what I like to get up with them. He goes you did it all the time I said yeah and he goes. How old are they and they were, like? I wanna, I wanna say like eighth grade and in sixth grade, and he was like

Well, maybe maybe it was a little. Maybe it was a little younger. Maybe it was like fifth grade and third grade or sixth grade, and he goes you do that everytime I go I try to and he goes don't. They know. You're comedian- and I said what do you mean he goes, you know you're a comedian like this. Is your job like you're allowed to sleep like a regular human being, you don't have to be like a super man he's like my kids now when he goes much or little older, they know. Dad's comedian is what dad does. I'm not see being because I've been out because Greg not been out partying. I'm sleeping because I got in late, because my job means that I gotta stay out late? That's my job and he said it very candy they won t like being a document. I started realizing yeah. I can see every now and then I can just go hey dad sleeping until ten, like I'm Emily, I'm sleep and amiss get nobly eyes. I mean for me not even sleep at like ten islamic falk ten to be bad. I mean that since the pandemic up in better because I'm not you my one ten m seller spots anymore, so I mean the

we'll just shuts down. That's the saddest part about new york. Me right now is like new york's not dead, but like its closing down early like nirvana dead it, but it feels a little suburban, like not being able to the bodega past eleven, unlike oh, you fucking, kidding me like that. That's why I'm here I'm not here- I'm not here to shut down at eleven, so that that's the hard part for me an end this hard to be creative when you're, not in constant motion and you're, not doing like. What am I I'm doing podcast, unlike what am I They talk about watching the crown unflagging netflix it I'm used to doing shit yeah. Oh that's added to the trend and conversations with comics are imperative to be able to sit with a group of common and just bullshit bullshit to the point. We are crying laugh with

that two days ago, in San diego, was our last show and we're having dinner outside outside, and we were talking about it. I was such a great conversation. It was our my bus drivers, a black and and my cousin Andrews white, and we were told they were talking about how they have sex and an my my bus driver, said man. When I put it down, I thump a whole back in the pussy. I felt a mud hole on the back of her pussy, then andrew, and then he goes goes when talking about Andrew my cousin Andrews White goes I'd. Deafening I'll. Do that? What do you mean- and he goes you- you mean anyway you mean you don't know a special time. My my gown and any goes. You call a special time and so we started making fun of andrew verona special time, and then and then ran goes sober. Would you be

comparable, your daughter, Dana black guy, go not after I learn they thump holes in the bag, both these wrong. I think I'm an odd for special time and we were. crying lad, debate that better be embedded in annex measurement like dude? I'm trying on special time is a great special title special time at best, where did you get that double meaning? I love you that's hilarious. A body is a drunk he's. A guy is again annoying drunk nine. I warn you when we were discussing dennis. I grew up with and he's like a character. Any tax me just yesterday goes. He goes on out, the bar solving race, relations and other. What does tat mean? It goes. I'm just drag him with a black eyed. Unlike that's not adhered to, fuckin idiot, you know, like it, hey these I'm like a new branded again new friend- and I know this is due to a sent me tax. Like dude made me a chip, lay. I need your urine and, unlike our right, given this dude, my urine for jobs deadly friend, that's what

grab given him he's a fucking party, animal All right, you ve done some drug. I will help out I showed about I should but my white. So what point you give up on new york, I don't think I can. I don't think it's in me. I get very it's. There is a certain things are just a party you and I just I love new york. So much I love! I love just you know walkin around to even when it's bad, it's still, if stone new york city man, still it still awesome, like is still seen crazy people I mean shit. You do get that crazy person, like I went to my I, when we were editing the special I went to my my director lives at walking, walking distance from me Matt, so I'm walking home at like two. Am I'm so used to doing that and you do get a more aggressive form of you know Guy approaching you wait a nice of this guy, given a lot of the same pick up line words like hey man. Can we talk

I just I need to ask you something and it's like I need. You feel like a hot, you're on a bar, but, like you know that you're about to get mugged, so my gone good man. Thank you. You deceive me, and I know it's not like he's going to ask me something valuable, so you have to be like yes, okay, thank you I'll! Keep going that there is a more hectic energy for sure we're like our I gotta? Just I'm not used to keep on my guard up. I'm used to just kind of walking check on my phone spacing now. Maybe some jack, as planned and now might alright. I gotta pay attention a little more so that In that way, new york is may be slightly more dangerous, but I mean sometimes dangers good like of all the good people were like well new, going back to nineteen sixty two nineteen, eighty uniting his fuckin. What's his name, some big bench appear. I said that someone like that- and I was like all right, so we're gonna get some good movies because that was like. fuckin right midnight cowboy, and you know like accident.

I've got a lotta good movies, again godfather. Are you looking for the ultimate stocking upper this holidays? Isn't stop looking look no further, because our sponsor landscape has the tools to make you look like a winner with. This year's hawk stocking stuffers or even white elephant competition landscape is he only brand dedicated to below the ways. Grooming and hygiene products is in great news. They just released their products across europe, canada and straight yeah. They had so much stop to throw into a stocking stopper. They got. The crop deserve a ball deodorant kind of speaks for itself, the crop rubber, ball, toner! That's a spray on toner, you give your balls a little slice of heaven with aloe vera and hazel extract crop cleanser. By the way. You know We stop, I thought, but I was in like one twenty seven, but I never insight the way they did to make it a reality. Does he do those eighteen? Ninety, seven? Ninety nine

in seven. I was like my balls need help they're just right when I started shaving, my balls they've got the crop, my ball wipe. Would you never know when opportunity of striking the little or the way? I have a great and I just realized grape, a man escaped bed in my new act ordering a man skipped that be weird. If I got man's good response from any special the foot duster for deodorant designed to give those stinky feet fresh smells the weed, whacker, ear, nose and hair tremor I'll. Tell you what I love the most. Is they ve got? They ve got the best mail The I've ever had a little nell packet thing that I have everywhere those and an ear hairs. Though we'd walker knows near haired. Rumours are fantastic in each the men, real virtue and, let's not forget about the best trimmer, freer bud, balls and body, the lawnmower three. By now offering a obvious risk. peaceable ceramic labour, the basque and safe technology which deaf,

reduces grooming accidents, get twenty percent off plus free shipping at man's cape dot com with the code bert, whether through your partner down your brother, your friend get some get them something they're going to actually use this year, get twenty percent, often free shipping at landscape, dot com. With the problem Goldberg be the balls. Yes, gift giver this year with mance caped, the holidays are just around the corner and if you're looking for a way to stay connected with loved ones during the holidays, look no further skylight frames. Skylight frame hits it out of the park. We bought them for my mom, my dad, my uncle jerry, my aunt loretta, my aunt judy, my sisters, Annie and Kati, my my brother in law, MIKE my brother in law, mom, my friends, the campers that's for families and here's. What beautiful skylight frames a photo friend that you can update instantly by email from anywhere you just email, a picture, and then it goes right to the frame and then it gets putney rotation. So we have different emails that we send a my parents, person, my sister's versus

we're friends and you can be fun with it and it's so exciting. My uncle jerry said literally the best president we've ever given him because he sits by every morning to wait for updates for our family, because they're quarantined out in d c, and we can't really see them so they sit there and wait for pictures of my my niece lola and my nephew teddy. It's a great way to feel close to those when you're sort of separated it sets up super easy and effortlessly in just six she said it's all you gotta do. Plugging in touch screen, connects wirelessly to your network and then you send photos to the skylight is super easy super effortless. Everyone in the family can just email them to their personal skylight email address and it pops up in seconds. Multiple people can send photos to the frame and it's a great way for large groups to stay in touch. I love it and they're gorgeous. They may ten inch touchscreen. They come in black and black frame and a white mat. They look like real flame frames, it sits right in our kitchen and sometimes a picture will come up and I'll scroll back and go ooh. I remember that all and you can preload it with all your favorite photos.

as a personal life, give import you and all your significant spouse, grandparents, children, what not and then they won't even know what they want and what they have it. So, oh great, I said we took care of everyone in our family in everyone's got one, and I suggested looking for president. This is what you get them now as a special offer you ten dollars off your purchase of the skylight frame when you get a skylight frame, dot com and enter the code. Bert, that's right. Ten dollars off your purchase of the skylight frame go to skylight. Frame, dot com and enter the code, bert, that's s cave Y l, I g h, t f r, a m e dot com promo code birth when women, If you go say they shut down. New York said they're, like listen. The only way to fix this is to totally shut the city down for a year. Where would you

stay there. Would you go off and I'm gonna California, with you guys, yeah sort that out here is not bad tailors s we'd hang in there and you tell us that together we are. We took a little pandemic break costs, dude it's long distance is hard when the world is not on fire. I mean we just need a break, but we're we're good yeah we're back together and we're we're good and was with me for like a week. We had a. We had a good week and she's there for like a month honestly, but she did a rogue gig or two in between and but stress what a date someone who is not in your city and like because you know how this is now every decision is kind of stressful. So you just like our, I guess, like I got what we got move. This data, like us you, after this gig, oh shit, that gig got cancelled so whenever, up in the air is hard to be an old along, doesn't relationship, but I think they were good and I'll be out there and a month, probably I mean I, I gotta come back out there at some points that we got it had to be stressful right. When you guys, I mean, can you

I don't know. If everyone knows is, but you came out here and then everything I shudder. on a new and tailor went from dating for, like a couple weeks to living together. We were together like six months before that we had was, but I yeah, but it like armenia, still living together after six months for five. We let the other five months after that. So, though, is that we know Joe? Can we now is Oh shit! Ok we're like, but then also use you. U quarantine. With someone for five months, like you reach that I deserve liquor I'd like a one year. Chip for that at least you know like an especially especially in a sort of shutting fairly tell a very, very honest about going through. The anxiety and depression has done an open and honest like like for those you don't know what I'm until it tomlinson she's she will. She will take pictures of herself crime. after anxiety tax there and put it on extra anxiety attacks. Conversations with me. What's the difference?

no shit, she's very be open about it and it's it's cause element. I love it about her, so she's she's, she's open and honest and she's a fucking workhorse she's been on the road like we have and she's been here she's just in raleigh. She was just in rhode, island. She was working on her new stuff and it's been it's tough when you just like ok! Well, I guess: in a pandemic we gotta stay at each other's place for like at least a minimum of mine like you want to be just traveling like an asshole, you know so Yes, your power be out there for a while just cause. You know, ellie, hard for me. I don't drive. I don't like it. I don't I'm just not a driver, and then she told me one of her friends got in a car crash. I'm like okay! Well, then, what do you want me to do cause like if your friend

You can drive is getting the crashes, I'm gonna get fuckin demolished, I'm a terrible driver. I I have a pity license. I gotta licence basely by charming the instructor I'd failed to do I been tests, and then I get the instructor and I just said: please don't fail me. I've already failed twice and she laughed and I was like I gotta I got her on my side. I hit a cone, she still bass me I have a license. I should now so I'm a terrible driver, she won't, let me drive and she was like, never again so allies For me, I, like the energy in new york, I can just walk in the park and she should around or something for a little bit I playing basketball, I'm playing basketball, I'm I'm upset! You didn't pick me do it. I want to be on your team. Oh no! No! No! No! We're going to do that. Tom, an airplane, tysons is it one is one on one right: we're gonna play right now. Can you hope you good? You know I I was.

as a cat, was never good it s. The weird thing about basketball is like you're: either curative good like it's, it's almost gotta be a natural thing like the workforce, basketball player player. Is it I dont think as a real thing there, Bird was just good. You know, I do know he eats hilarious from people like he was just. Why am I watched him? Had he would fuckin kick ass in today's game? Did he could shoot he could? He was crafty like that dude he was also I mean he had to retire early because he was so Toby foxes, backup, yeah but like like so like when I was in sixth grade. Maybe six greater volume of a basketball fell in love with it and got a hoop up at my house and I played everyday, I played every single day. I loved it.

I was never good like my big crocs was like it wasn't. So, like ninth grade that I could put a ball over my head and shoot. I always had a shoot down here and sunny is based boyish board yeah. I could just see a crack in a ball. I could definitely see that. Oh, oh, oh, I have gotten that viber yeah I baseball's my sport baseball. I can play baseball golf and you get a gulf yeah, I'm pretty good at golf, but not like not like that see. That's the other. Differences like golf allows allows a huge spectrum of good right so, like obviously there's tiger woods and then there's actually guys anyone that can hit, and- and I know this is going to make me sound like I don't know what I'm talking about, but I do anyone that can hit within eighteen strokes of tiger woods could play golf with tiger woods and you, wouldn't you wouldn't notice. Someone was that much worse. That makes sense.

we played bogey golf you're, just missing an extra pot every day, but ultimately, if you're gonna play bogey golf you're you're in and around the green on the green in regulation or around regulation every time, so that so that eighteen strokes he, oddly enough, if you can't tell the biggest difference, and you can obviously ghana- you can and inequality of poon, though poland and now I may not be ideal. Your guys not banging bottle service girls and for anyone. Anyone who isn't within eight, folks. A tiger woods is a luxury fucking, golfer and so jack. That's when I say what I say, basketball is such an interesting sport, because you, there is a. There is a threshold with with ten. You can't competed all your actually. Nowhere is I see play basketball, you just a guy taking up space on a court and so on.

I I look. I can look good, but I am don't dribble the way like a guy that can dribble. I can't I've got to kind of keep an eye on the ball, because I'm not like fuckin about trash yeah, I really can't do that I am so jealous that, but you also have to have a like a little bit of aggressiveness to be good at basketball and you gotta like conflict, and I don't like conflict. I don't like aggression, and so I'm not going hard in the paint against anyone. Like whatever man stood him in the outside I'll shoot amiss and then I'll just passed through the rest of the game that be fun, get it aim going. Now. I got a member, you know just plan. A comic gave like aryan gary gorman. All these comments in organ it was fun is how it was really really cool, gormans, good, good, right gary's. Very good gary is like a college football player and he's also, like I mean he's like six six. So if he takes you in the post is just over he'll chill in the

Emitter and he won't be as dominant. But when he's posts you I'll be like he's gonna score he's out in here. Huge and strong, and yeah mean I love playing ball with the comics, so I mean that's one thing I I miss alot for sure. Have you have you ever played with rick glassman know as the great rick glassman rick glassman may be, and I say this like in like I haven't, really seen him play a bunch, but he actually may be the best basketball player we have in comedy. He is really in bizarre good and I haven't seen him play. I've only seen videos, but he can dunk he's wow. These are these like six, three explore, he can dunk and he was so good that and he and buddy all, but- and this is the thing about basketball- he only knows one speed, and that is I'm going to compete. I'm not gonna, I'm not here.

And there's no reason it's an interesting fucking mentality about sports. Is that and it's what pushes me away from sports a lot these days is. I do have a very, very competitive mentality about sports. Like I get like, I played tom and tennis, and I beat him straight- sets six one, six, two six, two six one. I see good at tennis as well yeah, but here's the deal is like I have a I have. I have a serve that is really aggressive and his coach called it. Legit, no quiet, no questions asked a division, one collegiate serb right. yeah yeah. I serve really well and is really hard to return and so and so that there is a fine, I'm right go now. How are you going to ask me to play? Do you want me to play like shit so that we can compete?

or do you want to come now. I want you to be used so that nobody can beat and am beat you play. Tennis gets grows, damon college and I just beat the living shit out of us here. There's no fun like old in the thought play a game was just sit around and she is what I want to play you and I was like, will you want to I'm confused? You want you wanna play me, but you wanna win Why would I want to win? Sometimes I went swimming to throw it like I get through. It'd, be like I missed. The ball. Is that what you're? Looking for? She was like just beating me- and I was like I'm so confused like and so that, Tell me my brain. I think we're glass bananas and I think guys that that an end and when you play basketball, have to add that there is no other there's. You know it's not. even arrived, the crystal stefano back in the day. Business avenues, ok christmas, it happened, but we want the best possible bears out their due. He'd he's not in like basketball shape anymore, but his jump shouted still just like fuckin money, I'm

but we did. I like a private thing for bleacher poor and it was like me to Stefano boy word Janius and afterwards it was like us in the staff we applied knock. And it came down to me and Chris and I was like I'm not miss. It had never shot and The one shot I miss cristel won't miss. So may I have they had every shouted. Please let me have you play not go It's like you know. You all shoot. Free throws, and if you miss, you got a tap, but you gotta put it in or and then you run behind the person, but chris doesn't, missis shaw. So much. I know once I miss he's gonna at the zoo I knew I was dying out late as soon as we talked about basketball to bears every one hit me out there like bro, you forgot about dot dot, God knows I, but an you're. The number one guy I forgot about. I think, I'm crazy. The number one guy christmas euro is way better. The meda prison rescue, rick re classmen, Gary gorman and whip me coming.

it's when you get a basketball, she's fuckin luxuriate brow really like I've, no joke! No joke! She played at issue played some pro in europe. What oh yeah whitney kinley jennifer play basketball shit? Let's hear she has. She has video is pursuing three thousand backyards where she's thinking like twenty five in a row wow just like this just bunk Book down in an end, she's got she's got what I call, and this is a very obscure reference. she's got rollie massimino fundamentals like rollie massimino, had these old school fundamentals that he talks. I went to basketball camp and everything where it was like. There is a certain way to shoot a free, throw it's gotta start your feet come up and cop pop out and whitney has got like legit fundamental interesting. I did not know that. That's awesome, that's fucking, hilarious yeah! It's it's interesting about! We should do. I mean we should

do literally a seriously to do some stuff that be so fun to you like comics. It be fun to do like comic three on three and record this shit talking. I like the way they used to that show on mtv, where it was just like comics talking ooze like street baller saga, but we did it with comics and we kind of like balance out the skill, how fuckin fun would that be. I tell you. It will also also I'll tell you how interesting it is going to be here's. The other problem is that someone told me one time. Sports are only good on tv. If you are an expert at them like anything below an expert really shines like it really shines, how bad you are and me, and tom, recorded ourselves playing tennis and it was so hard to watch. It really watching your parents bought. It was like oh shit, sacks also ensure on camera. You gotta be forget that reply, or stars. Don't get enough credit! I might you know what it is a job. I remember ron Jeremy was the seller one night and norman was on before me.

enormous doing. Well. I just turn to right, not knowing that ran germans in the crowd negroes his fucking, ron, Jeremy asleep. He was just asleep in the front row The most noticeable spoken celebrity now look and healthy- and this is probably like eight years ago or somethin, wrong jeremy and shit man, a man that guy's in jail forever. I think is: oh my god. It's right now he's in jail. I think that's cool. It's gotta be crazy. To be. It's gonna be crazy to be like a porn star, but it was almost like an hour on a porn star. The idea I mean he's yeah it was like a fat hairy. Jewish guy. That's like that's like what you do as a joke, but then you hit a huge dick. So I guess it's kind of like I guess it works. It's like he like beat the system kinda and then and then to age

I guess I don't know I mean like I am fair. I'm not fans were enough. Family fans of anywhere fans I take up. I'm fence like every stone, is got an order. You know I don't know that is at a premium evanston. One's porn star and really, who is always a cool dude on around the clubs and you'd, see I'm fuckin awesome. Do good sense of humour long, beautiful blonde hair kind of look. I got like hercules live just cycle. And an he's got an order and I go. I wonder what it's like when you were like when you were younger and you could you fox non stop and then you get out of the business I wonder if you want to fuck it all or one. If you go idle and then a one of you, if you do want to fuck it's gonna and knew not what you used to look like it must be like, like must be fuckin, sir. Yeah, it's also leg How do you enjoy it? It's like it's like carmody were sacks like

Why would you enjoy it? No you'd be like I've been doing this all fucking, it's kind of the way with like. I don't want to watch a comedy at home. I want to watch like a tragedy because that's the escape when you're understandable the time if sex is your. If sex, is your job, then what do you do for fun? Yeah? What do you mean like I asked him once cause. I remember like I, I talked to him and I was like do you ever? I remember this too forward, but I said: do you ever? Have you ever like sleeping with someone and then you kind of like develop a mental, intimate act. You ever developed feelings for them. He's like yeah I do like. Is that weird? He said hats weird, but like it? Can you imagine that, like that's your job speeches, I would fall for every porn star tolerably, I would fall in love. I mean there's girls, I've fallen in love with and I don't even know, I've never even met, but I've just watched them. So much like I would be very candidly like I really feel like. I have a friendship with some of them, because I've watched

so much where I go right go oh yeah. I know her really well and like there's a dude when we did our, cyber. When there's a dude, I watch box so much I felt like. I know him. A bellegarde really know him. I now owing gray- and I It was like a video game player like a first person, shooter we're like that's my guy. That too I fuckin go. I thought his moves before my wife. I shouldn't know I'm bringing it should into the bedroom and and then you talk to him and he was in your life I don't know you at all like I I've. Never I don't I've just watched you a lot. It's going. It's probably the same thing as podcasting. You know but more intimate even admit it's funny man. I follow this porn star, adriana chechen entente, ai weiwei, vulcan deafening, follow adriana tragic.

I've never like I don't know her stuff. I just like she retweet a porn bit of mind. I was like defending porn where I kind of just the fact I said like porn is nicer to women than than women's magazines, because in porn you're you know you're, not fat. Your big, beautiful woman, you're, not old, you're, mature you're, not covered and semen you're, getting a facial that was suggested a bit. So she followed me retweet, said anne. I should follow back right, so origin. In a grocery store like scrolling twitter for jokes and then she post something of like taking two cox and unlike this, is not the time They see their shit. You forget your following. Someone like that will become. used to like comics, like writing. Silly jokes, but porn stars. Like this is your job. aye aye the adriatic, those hard, the falcon paint them Do you like he's like the dream on green of porn you're? Like always, should this is like in real issues? I saw

I didn't know she was before. I think, I'm all. I think I'm stuck in like a time loop from when I started jacking off to all the porn. I've ever seen. It's like: well, that's still, my person, you know he's in it. She isn't so like you know what she is she's like the the comic that released the specials on youtube versus, like the older comic. That's like I'll, just sell it to h, b, o go You know, atrium ass ye see that he does Yes, she's young and she's. Coming after it and she's gonna bug and take the title shot shit. Where I go, I saw one time she was swapping. Com would suit with another, worlds of back and forth. Oh my god and she has great fucking teeth and all I could think was did the orthodontist that took those braces off go well, they're, perfect time to go five year. Ten years from now, you're gonna be swappin, come with another jack. I gotta get a mention. Shit man she's gone

reality and we should very active I've heard from industry andrew insiders. She has a wild woman I issues. They are born a porn made You want you're, doing porn and posting clips and like you're way more crazy than I am for sure you made way more wild. You know I hit you up. He goes glow by the way, the guy that I'm talking about. I think I think it's this guy. I don't want to say his name, so I want to blow up a spot, but the guy who directs porn who's going to do our stuff for us, and I should just leave this all out- don't worry about it fuck it because if austin needs to take that other stuff out, they don't want to have to be tethered but

All I'll say is adrian touch. It goes fuckin hard in the paint. I never actually watched one of her videos. I just see the tweet, but it's good he's got an evil angel that one of my friends sent me a link and was like you a demo said Google Adrian check that he was like just you know. On her only fans page, she blows uber drivers and I was like okay. This is, alas, all I can think of. Is brody Stevens used to drive uber away with that video b I mean shit man, that's fuckin, that's a lucky day. I guess I mean it's weird that it's like. I guess you already pay cause. That's like the type of thing you would probably comp. You know what I mean. That's like an automatic payment, but if you're that uber driver like I wish I could just not charge, you may be no tip. I dunno. I saw porn one time that that I think about every now and then I'll see. If I can, I don't know if I can find it, but

I to you it was a girl, humiliating thinkers predominantly middle eastern men. It was it was it was. I think it's predominantly like it was predominantly. I hope this comes out correctly, but immigrants, meaning guys who aren't from this country, who may be had archaic view it is about women. I think that was her target. I really as it's republican porn. That's what it is. Oh, she had a huge lobster claw on her hand. Oh my god and like like a joke lobster claw with brass. I think she was sexy, dress real sexy and maybe she show her tits and she'd, be like pull your dick off as a jerk you off and they were like her and she's like buddha, gotta jerk you off, and then they were like okay and they go. She would take them on a corner, but she jerk them off this lobster claw, and so they couldn't even really feel it. It was. It was like it and it was just these guys like almost being cocked like they were just like she's like take you

How come you're jerk up off she do this lobster claw, and I couldn't it was it was oddly it was oddly set lobster, did not die for a good ray is no. It was ridiculous. A huge love for claw was like a fuckin big plastic. Lobster claw I gotta I remember watching this besides appalling categories that are so fuckin we're that you're just like this, this is, the turning someone on or is this just like she was laughing at them. She was laughing at them and mocking them as they do in it. It was so outside, or maybe I might be by the way. If I miss read that porn, then I just described what I like yeah. It's funny like that. It's getting so specific like lobster hand like there's going to be crab hand, there's going to be like all kinds of crustacean like you're going to be like no, I look for fuckin lobster hand like When you have a great bit about had there's like college,

porn, there's like girls. Just out of college, is going to be like girls like they. They went to college. It took a year off to find themselves. You know I can't find it. I used to have a joke. I used to have a joke I'll see if I can show this type of joke I'd be like I taught guys in the audience to be. Like your era clicks on, porn and the like now said your ears see the though and they're like well yeah. I go all the thumbnails are degrading as fuck, except for the gay porn but now it's the way. It's always the classes to do target. Like I came in here like fighter in the cap. I like fighter and gay deluges alleges away happier than us is ever is it like? Anal is great city hall, senior blow this out, this is anal right, but then this is this is and by the

from the rumours we ve heard. They can do much worse than just cuddle when talking about anti king, like their hats, I know it's gotta hurt. That's gonna fucking hurt man shoutout to gay dudes for, like just being tough like you, can take a penis in the ass that that deserves a lot of credit. Not to mention like egg and through the fucking aids epidemic like who is tougher. I don't like that. I resent the gay dues get like just consider like the most affectionate like soft. Unlike do gay deeds are tough. They folk through the aids epidemic they can take up a penis in the ass. That is a tough group. You know they don't always fuck in the ass. I found that out, like mostly just blow jobs yeah. That makes sense I mean I was like emerged with our. We were friends with a gay couple and I I said to them like like how how often you guys fuck in the ass- and he was like- I very seldom really like really nice, like yeah, it's anal sex. It's really aggressive- and I was like

oh for real and he's, like, I remember, having a joke about almost getting into a fight with a gay guy that lived in my neighbor in my in my in our building and then all of a sudden. As I was talking shit, I saw a fierceness as an in his eyes. That said, I take it. as buddy there's nothing. You can do that. Hurts me guess what you can't do. The thing I do for fun on a saturday. Yes, so fucking sure dude that is like and also like the culture of just being jacked I mean gay dudes are jacked for the most part. A lot of them aren't, but, like I look, I see was walking around shelves. In an else kitchen. I see that the culture like I'm like you got it's a gym culture and, of course it is because, like if there's a chance you could hook up in the locker, it would make me want to go to the gym more. If I were single guy yeah- oh

it'd be in the gym. If I knew that I could, if by being in the gym, I could never hooked up with a girl in the gym ever but also said if we shared locker rooms, I've been in the la IB and IB in the gym all the time. If you get Sarah harlin him telling me that I'd be, working out, go to the gym. Locker room go to just go directly to the steam room, I'd be like fuck, the gym I pay. I pay one hundred and fifty a month to steam and and for the upper end for that chance that something will happen. I worked out of the hollywood crunch on sunset and fairford. Note that sunset and and crescent heights- and I saw tons of gay dudes in there- never once saw to talk. I've got never once in everyone's walked in on it. Never want you, mostly it's almost like your bombed. You know what happened, so you kind of just want to see it to know what happens I feel like I know this happens. I just want to see it to confirm it, and then I won't work. I just want us to end up. Okay, got it and leave

It's like watching a plane take off from like from the beach and you're like come on crash, come on crack explode yeah. I had a joke. I had a joke about. I don't watch fox news for the same reasons. I don't watch gay porn, I'm afraid I'm gonna, like it yeah, but the thing about a joke that I think is so great. Is that the original? What was the original one? in fox news. The same way I look at them. I forgot what it was, but it was totally pet, a pedophile joke and everyone's like whoa, and I was like wait. What didn't have long. Airborne aired boys on the beach either the czechs and then were like our weight that to do- and everyone's was I oh you're, talkin about those, are you never mind? is definitely like yeah, I mean there's a tie of gay dude on fox news and you're just like our right bow, tie them

and anger behind our boat. I feel sure yeah man, it's funny that fox news is gonna like move to be more moderate. Now, because there's like news, axe. So it's like all. It's all or nothing stays where it is. You adapt to what, like your viewers, are going to want it itself. Fuckin weird and hey what shoes do I wear to play basketball? I just get basketball shoes. I I I. I rocked those james harden sneakers, because they're pretty the low tops but they're pretty good man, I dunno I have a. I have nike sb dunks at those but those relate not those who, like style, shoes, are about to take up our do get to go on. I'll, send you a nun unknown. I'm gonna play basketball in thirty minutes. What the your where dynamited sprain, anguish and unjust we're like. Can I we're like shoes that you'd where to play tennis? I would not. I would definitely not

be careful. Now we're going to have to end this podcast. We are gonna, go through my closet and bug and text you pictures of my shoes. is doing well amendment, but debt about an ip blazers like those nike blazer ones, are those there's a lifestyle. Shoes here be careful man just get that just get it for the support you can wear low tat was never they make em for four basketball I'm fucked or I get hurt. Man be careful. You don't want to spread when Tom said he goes. The number one injury for dudes our age is basketball, yeah, dude and and Tiernan and ac hour and achilles. be careful, because I know you're an athlete by you now. the right shoe. You gonna, fuck yourself up so so Gatorade ship called can't wait. I can't wait emma, was good talking brother congratulate on the special thanks. You somewhat ravney man. It's also Everyone can go find on you. Do there will be an add at the front just to let everyone know exactly where to get it, it's awesome and congrats on

on the cabin and anon. I know you're gonna put something awesome together from LA from all those tour videos into a picture side I can with sea. We do that will. They know what they will see. It'll be! Ok you to your bed. Some other wish me luck? Definitely, woman stay savers. It's great to see you also man here I'll talk to you sounds like your body