This podcast is brought to you by super specie osa. I was first introduced, create em by the well read guys, do remember those guys they were great guys and they were taught. I remember I want to say one of them said it helped with. Clearing his mind. It was a really good tool to write with I know- and I know I I know the guys over fighter and the kid I remember we were about to do a podcast and there were two they were taken cradle. There were like oh yeah do this is fucking gives you make a huge energy boost, creativeness and All natural herb related the cobbler plant that has been used in thailand for centuries. It else boost. Energy relieved stress, enhances mood, relieves, aches and pains. I wish I were it does for jet lag. Would love to take some great impetus? Jet lag

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guys brand new podcast humpback back from serbia a landed last night and I am very hung over- and I am very, very jet lag but we're back, and so when we're so we're going to dial in the new studio and get it lit properly. Change, the lighting, I'm a little late, the lighting's been a little too bright for me. You feel like that. Halston I was looking at. I feel, like you know. I feel like there needs to be more of a thumbprint here. We put this together so quickly that I feel like I want. I want there to be a blue one Your turn bluer in our maybe I'll know we solve this problem. Ways to go. We do have some backlogs still so, We need to be a backlog. Do we know we have four backlogged so erin, those four and then Should the boy new ones in the next two weeks to bears one one cable be back and and I've towards to

my buddy boy. Relapse. World tour is, is on sale. Now, with added a ton anew shows all your eye If you bought tickets to the earlier shows That's how that works, they're still good, I'm almost certain. I know I know they are. I mean if you have an like alabama, I'm supposed to come to csos that was a show are supposed to do or for had kicked in so yeah pretty boy relapse tour starts. I think in October october november december march goes on December march, red rocks September, eighth, red rocks September eighth, things September knife. Rocks September eighth, and this weekend, I'm an atlantic city at the boar gotta. So I will see you guys: are the boar gotta I will try not to talk from a maybe I'll do an episode where we talk about the movie. I try not to talk about the movie too much, because I think with movies, It's really interesting. I was thinking this. You have such a

emotional gallagher, like promos alike. Like talking about stuff, made. I never really talked much about the cabin did I maybe a I feel I can never even promoted the cabin village cabin came and went and was like butter. I don't want share too much of movie about this movie, because I want you to just see it. I know what it is and have no idea what you're about see so I've have kind of like a pullback. I pulled back a lot of my instagram stories and I probably like not really bert but be shocked. What I did post, because you'd watch a movie, I remember watching movies in college and that wasn't sailors got really big. When I was in college, I feel like trailers got better, but you see all the joke. The trailer and you'd be like sucks, so I'd. I haven't, shared a lot of picture the people who were in the movie. And I'd, and I want to keep it on? I wanted to be addressed. Some of you should be right. Is it better. If you don't know anything about it, then all of a sudden ta

so so yeah to the end, and by the way I've been missing, podcasts so much, I miss doing a podcast. So much you have no idea how fucking jealous. I am- and I see that people podcasting and I'm just like god, man so much happened. So much happen while I was gone three what's going on, I haven't done a gas than three months. That's why I'm milking central and by the way it is? the long one today is a long one. It is whitney houston, not euston, goddamn it. It's whitney cummings and I think we get drunk all I'll say is we went through with a fine tooth comb on this one cause A lot was said that we were like. Are you sure? as you sold up she a good call. Maybe we should take some of that stuff out as some bit still in so I think you'll is absurd.

It's for hours long. You already know that you like holy shit yeah. I think we should be called, do draw the phone calls to lend for real. We call dave grow weaker, what we call libya mine this before we got in the school. What did John Lamy shit domino out of all this also happened. While I was gone tony hinchcliffe club, the fuckin video, There's always should have all I was gonna fuckin. What's his girl today on them. I don't even know who she is man. She did this to comment on. I stick to all by the way I think I'm going to do the eighty five south show in when I'm in macon, eighty five south, you you're not watching eighty five south. Oh my god, it's like my favorite podcast. Eighty five south is Carlos Carlos of DC young fly and chico, and there are like three dudes who

It's a great by gas, but they do these live shows they didn't. They did a bit on Ono today that had merely an howling laughing it's going to be a macomb for a little while doing the go big show. So hopefully I'm going to be coming up to atlanta lot to do spots at night and and hopefully do their part cast and then when they come out, I'm dumb dining at them. On my part, gas, we are just enough seats, studios going out in big plans, big plans, we get it through area September's our month september mother and be hidden dinners people. We it through and through the next two weeks and then I gotta do go big show and then in september we can take a breath and enjoy the studio and really do some fucking great podcasts. I can't fuckin fucking and then we're on tore up? So that things are I was gone and allay got normal, but how was gone when element that's not what I'm my daughters

we're like we're going to go to mcdonald's, and I was like last night and then like hey, you want to go out to eat tomorrow and I was like ronald kenley and then I get at people go out to eat. Now, I'm like fuck can't wait coming to live here, it'd be so cool to live I really feel like I'm fucking gone. Serbia was a blast. I gotta tell you. I want to thank every one in serbia who made that trip one of the greatest trips of my entire life. It was one of the greatest experiences of my entire life, I'm so blessed to have had it and I feel like I did it right worked just hard enough to make sure that we got a good movie, and I, when I had just enough fun to feel like I didn't. I wasn't all work. You know like it sometimes with when you, when you have a job where your job is to be funny. You gotta, sure you and I'll give you prove example, tony Hernandez more my best friends in the world, I've known him since we were kids, he produced both of us. I and we're gonna do secret. I we're Philly and I hadn't been drinking that those nights

and why didn't drinking? I was cut off stage. I didn't I didn't drink after the show I what I never really drink on stage, but entering after the show and the night before we take my special and philly. He says: hey man are you having fun and I was like I dunno, I'm a little stressed you will get forget about stress, let's go to the bar and have a couple beers well I know, but I use needed it, don't change routine! Just for this, it should be. the same routine. You always, of course, if you're having a good time, that'll translate- and I have lived my life to that, and the thing about this movie is always like I'm. I remember- and you know, what's funny my buddy calle one of the executive producers on it when we got there, I was like I sure I like not drink this entire time and like why, whose acute you want to have a good time. When you hear right, I mean if you're, haiti Your time here is gonna show on the screen beaver having good time here, it'll show on the screen and I was like yeah, so I think I did it right. I had a great fuckin time

serbia ran five miles every morning, lifted waits after that, I'm still extremely fat. Don't get me wrong, but had a great time. I had a really great time Let's get the podcast started. Sorry for the long winded read I just haven't been, I haven't talked to anyone in forever or I can cry on command. If I don't tell too much and by the way I get I get cry, I can cry at the drop of a Lately? I cried on the rap. I get a video. I share this video, its only want to share it out of humility to show people what a fucking piece of soft piece of meat. I am. We did the rap. We called the rapido known in he. He wrapped. Whenever someone wraps you wrap them out at take the director, does

and he call rapporteur do not try talking about it. I cried so hard in in front of a bunch of people, a bunch of serbian like serbia. Men are not crying men, their fucking tough. Dude every one of them will cage fighter every one of them like a fucking man, you know any one of them could throw ends in a second and easily win there. They are men and women are tougher than I am. I mean you're talking about. fuckin and then I just sob cried sob cried for. Like fucking ten minutes saw, blooms saw blooms. Pride on the private jet cried on jet last night was crying just fuckin flying and crying and listen to music and cry. Ask I'm crying mother fucker right now.

Said to the hollywood improv this week. Let's get this podcast started. Ladies and gentlemen. Without further ado, my friend she's got a great podcast by the way, her podcast, probably better than mine now, and I feel stupid for ever telling her to do a podcast cause. Now, I'm like fuck, she just fucking lapped. All of us. But that oh yeah, that's right, you were given your bank has now yeah. I owe you pack motorbike asked. Why should it by what? If she'd have beyond the fuck? Am I saying that's how I felt in serbia like driving? Have friends anymore? Like I looked at all the two bears get guess hosts and as I and they were, so much better than me. Now like I wanted. I wonder like put the comments. He has a great episode book but would be good if he had to do a hundred more with on names I was jealous, though they were fucking great, absurd, alright without further

do. Oh, we got to be neutral. There's one cave come out. We film it in like two weeks, so we and then whatever Jesus Christ, stop talking bert. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, my friend stanhope comedian show runner rider actor producer, pod, castor and has the best famous friends in her phone Do you ever get as testament? What you're about c whitney cummings awesome? I love you so much I went to open and I want you to see it want to see. You see it. What's the point of giving someone a gift, they open it not in front of you

but this is real. Swarming S, you, ok the problem with this fact. I love this guy. It's just good so down! This is great it's because chasm egos, but I thought it could go on your bar. Forget that perfect sibling He has my way. I was asked by limiting big on board to a big secure. I soon there's skill and there the historic fact next year, It very often of you I got tom. His birthday present, which seemed to do this thing where we get each other more expensive birthday presence at the note, the last guy spent three thousand dollars on my birthday present this year. It was an electric bike, a bottom up. Ten thousand dollar jet, you guys know you guys, can get this for.

free by nowhere were obsessed with the gifting part of it. When it's your money and it's a gift, it feels really good, but why don't you just lie and get it for free and say you spent money on it. Tried and no one would give me a jetski yeah. I tried to get a boat, originally no fucking, The ultimate, although the bug you are I rode danziger- is bogus birthday was horrible now, you know we're talking about doing is is blue? in bringing friends adult comedy now the guys we went to high school with guys would cause with. Now bringing them on the road with us like tat, in them come on the road and experienced the road. That's a watching amazing idea, but can I first just address a resentment I have, which is then what Oh, I think it's time you to put on a mass goes like Jesus fucking. Christ is better. Have you live I ve, never had an issue with some and not hearing may june shine cheers

boucher. I know this is a bit of a bear. This globe hoard combo this now very quickly. This is my shit, but no on your toilet. Just came on my ass other coming I ended and its full I'm sitting in a soggy, and you know why it's even worse, your fancy fucking. toilet that I sat on it. It was warm by the way. This is the kind of new money we're dealing with. This is what happens when people from Florida get money. They get on toilets warmer, one time for a prank tom, rented, a lamborghini and henri, and I, from already being Joe rose, I came at a hot yoga and time at the lamborghini and he's like I just bought it. I know how much lamborghini cost and I was sitting there and I couldn't. I could wrap my head around it and then ori and I got in the car and or he goes he's from Florida and oh that's right. Oh, he is from Florida. That's how we spend our money, okay, but here's the problem. What today was the day that I decided to wear my new pad and underwear padded underwear,

I ask got so flat during the funding pandemic have not our out, so I cannot tell that you're wearing underwear, Oh my god, ilo with love these I'll. Definitely my god. It is padded my god. It's ok, it's ok! shot bra, but for us I'm just embarrassed because my ascot so fucking flat over the pandemics I have been working out, so I was like fuck it. I ordered them on amazon and I'm wearing for the first time here and they just got all fuckin wet and I'm sitting on a soggy fuckin like he's a styrofoam, it's like being in a wetsuit. I know I feel like I'm just like chafing but yeah it worked. I dunno how it relates his work. You can kind of looks good great body. They have great shoulders. I saw your interim story yesterday when your hiking alone, as married thing, you ve ever said, Edith funny I I said I've I'm very married, but despite the fact that I just grabbed dressed but didn't grab it you poked at me and is thrilled to have maybe a little

focus on someone else's ass for a minute who deserves a break she's happy to step in they try to have sex with him volunteer as tribute for a week so that you can take a week off you, poor woman, you'll end up for that's fine. If I just took nine of these, we can pull it off. I Sometimes that say to someone there were, like some guy said, something about having like girls and I so by much of daughters that there's an there. You can there's an age, but off restart going, none on like and then there like. Will? How can you look at a girl? That's like seventeen and there s a very easily I saw the sixteen year old is idle and I've been trying to think Does this very easy? As a dad, you just start going. I don't it's not that your spect, where and more, but you just go. There's an age off for me where I go any under thirty, and you have learned all the laws

enough life experience to know all the law, and so I said I ve been trying to think of the analogy today. I'm workin out with my sisters and my daughter and I said how do I am my sister is an like: a like gum, work, outlook, the leg, and I saw her ass. I went to another one. Well, that's how it works like when you see your sister naked, given the fact cause. That's how you supposed to look at like it's are very well, it's true, that's a tricky one, and this is a hot. Take. That's probably to get me cancelled. I'm sorry guys are watching me fully put on makeup because I haven't put it on yet. If I look crazy, will you please let me know I mean that ship has, but I mean like I'm trying to not. I just some push yeah, I I become the courtney, love of comedy people, think I love courtney, just saying and it started people you know the pandemic, we're all having fun. We were doing crazy shit, but I knew it went too far whenever getting texts or people like Are you ok like to link during the day what its

in hair, I know it's because it's you had its you'd benton and you guys we're kind of in your own little bubble. That's right and he is a very creative dude and he's a great guy he's always looking for than to shoot, and so you guys really kind of busy self one of the most people just started drinking and doing drugs yeah. I did that data I die, word to foreign edibles yeah oh yeah, when I hosted with you to burn bert jouberts, one cave better Should we call right, let's be honest: he d. Three arms one three three legs cave yeah, but I remember one game two games I was doing, especially after I had covert. I was like getting migraines and I was like not as sick. I went a little crazy with the edibles, which I had never done or you don't seem like an edible per. You seem like someone who likes to have everything kind of dialed in, but she likes to be in control. That's you.

Actually my drug control work you now busy. self exercise like an, but I have never done edibles. I discovered them- and I was like oh this just feels, like my dad loves me and I'm I keep doing this all the time. I have a hard time, as I discovered blunts over the over the pandemic. Okay and started smoking blunts, but that, but that's okay as long if, if it at least. We are often a couple hours you, the edible. They kick in in number. At the time they I'm like are. These are work like in twenty minutes and I'm like these are fucking duds and I'll, take twelve more and then they kick all the same time and then you're. Just like I'm on the freeway I mean I was a chef so that, coupled with my fucking blue hair, that I wasn't really brushing and my under eye not wear makeup and shakes, I was like fuck it. I'm not gonna make it. We were to always tell him- or maybe I was talking to like either sheltered tim dillon or someone or taylor, thomson- and I said you had a great pandemic like she did

during the pandemic, then she probably would have done it can laden like, as she knows, how to use tik tok fucking boomer, I'm in love with tiktok right now I don't post anything on like I have a team that posts for me like goods. in good in my stories or edit chop up though, and that is bad, but then I smart, the energy on tik tok is a little. It's a little different little younger little fucker like I can. I can really get with scroll and that's what freaks me out. Sometimes I stumble on there and I'm like. Aren't these just sixteen year olds doing dances like I thought we agreed, it was not legal. For us to look at is the type of person I just don't want fucking in twelve years, someone to go back and go here, the tiktok videos they watch tenure and it's like oh shit. Oh those girls were fourteen to the next level of this is someone's going to you're going to go on. Someone's gonna be like I just see now this issue bureaucrats, says he is. These- are his youtube searches and your majesty my team. Did it on another? To tell me, I don't know how I got onto this fuckin. Like my youtube

Witches are there's no way deleting cookies deletes shit right if they went through and saw that I mean like they'd, be like okay. First one, I obsessed with puerto ricans, get their haircut. Explain that and you'd be like I dunno I. It's what you just have to say. I had a dream problem. I am I what I google is so grows. like. I love I'm calloused feet giving shape I love you. I ll answer stones getting parlor olive dilated pours. I love, I love bottle. as I love puerto ricans. Getting their hair cut is my favorite thing. I can change watch that and I what about it, it's just the way they style. Oh, like the way they style hope it sells respect for puerto ricans, but but so when a puerto rican man lets his hair grow. Like a the usual is the harrier ones that I like it grows Into his eyes, like a gross like a pupil opera, almost like just thick here, an end and its and its

full inherit unlikely come in looking like so dishevelled when they go into their hair cut and they ve and soda doubled and then it's those rescued rest your dog transformation videos where they are sorted out. It's almost like a homeless person, renovation, video go for a bit and then, when a I support we can. Probably all latino meant to be dead. Honest with you is mostly yonder out in emma eastern did get a dire. They care it's. I love watching them, All lined up in it, I can watch it for AL, that's very primordial it like watchings its pop. We get dopamine serotonin from that because in our brain it's like an ejecting bacteria from the body like, wired to get into that. I remember there's a thing. I've talked about for triple phobia. It's it's the when you see a bunch of little holes with seeds in them, and was afraid of that stuff. I love it alone, love in the world. I underline sends me for my life

personally. I did Adam like foreign minutes on sex robots and sex or about porn, and I literally to point out the other day. I guess I was really does mean, I'm looking to burn some calories and it was like. I haven't been on porn hub since I was where criminal special and it was all guys- fucking, sex dolls and robots ruined was like sex halls and other, oh, my god, and those oh no, this is my alibi. What is the gatekeeper disgusting unlike other? This is all that there was a recommended for you and, if you guys, fucking, like maybe dolls, cabbage badge, kids and endless textiles, the real dolls. As I was like trying to see if there was a real thing and what if people were watching it. I've seen I've seen some real ones. There's something hard about this is gonna. Get me cancel, there's something hard about watching guys, fuck this exiles, I dont know what it is. Maybe it's because I don't have to be jealous of the girl cause she's not like prettier than mere better than me or hotter than me are better at sex than me. Maybe there's something hot about just watching the

cause, you're sitting when you're watching porn you're watching the guy fuck and I'm watching the girl stock. So I or more to the girl fucker think, but you will also see the guy. our focus on the czech, except in love you somewhere growing into a designer and gray. I fucking my mother, What about birthmark on a stick? No he's got tattoos all down his legs and it looks like letters and then it goes full black and he's like the best fucking person, meaning the best fucking fucking fox, amazing I mean this. Guy really put. He cares, like you genuinely cares. That is performance is good. He cares of the woman has more. I am a big fan. Is it what's owen grey oh in gray. Well, first off he's got a hard, but do guy do want when you watch porn, for the male points are to have a huge seas. Only one he's the only one I watch where he caught me off guard I started reading his tattoos and I got very like obsessed with his tenders are like their are bad ass tattoos.

his legs. I can't wait. We were fucking daily in your house that we can pull up the fuckin I'd. Rather I'd. Rather, use my imagination on this one, I think you do know how to bring all this guy. Ok, so here's the thing that he's not super he's. Currently skinny really skinny. He looks like I do in auschwitz he's a very, very skinny, but you're in danny's got scott. No, no! Actually, I'm not see this thing is I'm not into the dude. I don't care about the dude at all. I mean for here is gonna. Very a feminine sort of willowy vibe to him his end, but with me he has sex. He does it, like is the last time he's ever gonna be filmed and he wants to make sure he goes out with a bank. He really put in the work. He really are proud of this. I I I would consider him a friend and she's. Had him. We've had them on the podcast, we had them on, two bears, one cave live show and we said to him when you were like we like: hey, can you

see your dick, and he goes here is why, as I am Can we see your dick news? I guess just but it's just sweat, pants deck unwarlike, please! His giant alot of skinny guys are really have jaya deck sites, always the sleeper when your life is why all this guy's gnarly? Sorry, I'm watching. That's right now miss fully. While you really does a great job like. If you're gonna go, you could be coupled by one guy would be own grad, wanna watch him have set for them and just see how it's done right at me like that? does like that. Also remember even tried that we'll go on me like he really is good. I there is that one guy you when you throw me off. I think this is bad. I'm a bad person because I think I voted for this, maybe in california that when you see a condom on the guy, why not only

Why did I not vote for it yeah? I didn't vote at all, never have voted for it, but I got approached at the at the at the target in on burbank or oxnard. What's the one? That's out, you know the one that's out there. I got approached with my daughters by someone and to get people to sign a petition. There was like hey, sir sir, I'm with the girls and leanne we used to sign our petition. I go. What is it? He goes. It's for the use of prophylactics for adult film stars and I wouldn't fuck that my daughters and wife are there and he was what they go, make them raw dog it. I can't get turned on by that shit and my daughter's in atlanta, like what the fuck do not anymore daughters. I'd have if that fuckin rule who went into play. My dear I mean I I I can't when I I see a color in general. I am thirty, eight years old, I'm at the point where I'm like I've beat so many things. At this point I have like the fact that I don't have herpes is a weird like mirror. It's Even my guy knows, like your eye,

Are you sure I don't have it was like it's I'm spices you are and now I feel like a get it now, I had run of rum spring. I care I cannot regarding analogous legged man died and I have just given. he's gonna herpes yeah like there's, nothing really it does. But what now that I have health insurance, I'm like fuck it I whatever it is I'd rather deal with it later. Journalist has herpes and he's told me about it. He goes you can just take years value added, trot images to you take valtrex. We feel it coming on, but that makes it so you can't spread it I think it makes it so that I think when you for your honor, while track sumptuary bridle have sex just out of being respectful people. I guess I don't know I don't know but at but it was it. There is an age where I thought it. It mattered to me. Sometimes they do. They call sides, as happens in inside you most like it like. I don't like if I have like a lotta juice or I dunno, what I'm eating all the fucking citrus or that that's what I did if I eat a lot of that, going to see you and hear about grown upstate statement.

a lot of sour patch kids, I'm fucking horrible. That's not! I got a high here. One night we had a party cut, your mouth are so fucking hard and you're just eating like crusty poison. We just we just got a group text from the guys. I tour with you know this summer and they said someone said: do you remember burt's sour patch? I dosed there are sour patch kids with edibles, so I crushed up these edibles and I sprinkled them all over a sour patch. And I just left a bull and it was very mild dosing like immunities. Everyone I if you went to town, and the sour patch kids who are going to get high, but there wasn't enough in there for everyone to get fucking wasted until the end of the night, everyone's like giggling and we're fucking eating and they're like what's so funny and I go, I do sour sour patch, kids and they're like what and I was like. Oh yeah, do it at all drip every moment. Everyone enjoyed it

but what is the first time I did it. I told us, I told everyone, except like three people and and and I would like to see no guys I'm putting edibles on this in a room, saigon, cool and until the other people, but edible like candies It was edible like pigs mince, but they were like sweets all night, and so I crushed them up. It was like there were like two point: five milligrams up like a crushed up like a four of them and sprinkle them over two bags of sour patch kids. What perfect. I am I I'm searching for my perfect buzz like like the edibles. I went too far. I'm such a fuckin hardcore attic. I dont really. I, like the the like a beer or computer to cuba, can kind of do. I feel like a cigarette too. three cigarettes, a beer and like one it have a joint I'm like like that set one head of a joint makes me feel really good.

Not like it done a rolling giant. I know how to take care that this has stated that it had to say never again. No, I, like I like her. For me, a perfect, perfect buzz is like a three beer buzz one head of a joint with a cigar who last night I had a great both you know too, for I love not smoke gang and then three cigarettes like three nights. A week is a perfect ozone smoke. Cigarettes are really miss cigarettes and if you start, can you just not sat back and the only reason here's the thing, I'm such a fuckin hardcore attic? that. I actually don't smoke so that what I do, I feel the high better o o unions, amateurs, no better feeling than nicotine honestly out of all the things I ve ever done. Nicotine the one where I go. This is this is also we've american citys. Can spirits, which I'm sure is appropriation of the cancelled, but

We had to smoke name this spirit cinema. I don't know if you ever save schedule posts schedule I I scheduled up post cause. I was like ugh instagram, I'm getting too fucking, I'm losing five hours a day on fucking instagram, I'm just gonna schedule the posts ahead of time, and there was what it might even have been with you when we were talking about wiping words and forwards, like a video from when you did my biogas and it posted in a friend texted me is located. You might want to just like read the room and I'll see what happened. Ruth Bader Ginsburg had died, the hour before it was with paid a route better. Wait me in burgeoning my shitting ruth greater with me I'll. Tell you what the middle brings up a very interesting point is. I have gone to a play. Where I realized people, don't I dont need to communicate with people as much as I think like like when it when it's so funny. You said,

because when, like ruth better Ginsburg died or george George floyd thing happened, or anything happened, big in the media asian hate comes up the day and people. like why're you tweeting and I'm like I dont, have I dont have a. I don't think I haven't. I first of all, I thought I was told to listen. I get that. I get the athlete I may fucking clown yeah. I know I d, I dont know enough about the situation. If I were to post something it would be so fuckin decision, I would be doing it cause it's trendy and for the wrong way and I don't want to see the bad shit in the comments were cause some comedy fans I don't think they understand comedy totally and they think the meanest thing you can say. As the funniest Then you, like none in an area like sometimes this distant. Sometimes don't mean anything, don't say anything so I've actually kind of pulled off of. But it's almost like for me as if I get sad it's like dude.

The worst thing you can hear as a comic is dude, she used to be funny what happened like shit, you know or whatever I you can't no. We have to be in a situation where were allowed to do our jobs and we will stay in our lane its let the activists and the the politics or the whatever I mean there that their fig actors do, but I mean like journalists that know what you're talking about my thing, to think of something. That's a live issue important to me like be alum or something like instead of me, getting likes off of a tweet where I'm saying like I support like all retweet, our black male friend comics, or The email, frank comments, wherever the thing is about, are all reach. We alley longer awkward scene. It like you just to amplify people to do know what

we're talking about instead of making it about yourself. I don't want to make it about myself and I don't want to. I don't like there's a lot about the way I gotta be honest with you. I've been jam packing these podcasts so that I can just work. I know thinking like banking them and I'm at a place where I go. I'm like I mean I feel like I'm ready to stop talking like. I need, break. I feel like I like. I know, there's people that I am I've seen videos people are in like Jesus Christ, burt crozier talks a lot, hey, I'm with me all the time. I hear all the words say you did. I told you what I think we would also like it then given then turn off like a living is zog. If you don't like it just just the world is, okay and most people want to hear you talk. If you don't just don't tune out unsubscribe, I don't know what to tell you. That's like. If you hear me talk too much like what's going on with you, that you just didn't turn it off like you just need to hate someone, it's it's a banking thing yeah in this is, what I'm worried about four yucas. This is fucking happen. May Christa Stefano

one by gas like two weeks ago, when this airs but like at and it was like finally kind of we're mean having a comecon, is just the basket. You don't you have video something just so we were like. o about, like you know, from twenty twenty four in the china virus, and we were kind of doing all that shit. I'm like seduce he's like I had the china virus. Unlike really, and we were ok, it was so clear, rooming sarcastic we read it it in like throughout the whole pod Gaza we're doing like china virus jokes. What you'd wooden joke about it you actually call it that obviously like if a person is mentally retarded you're, not even say retard. You only say that to people that aren't right and and then two days before the podcast dropped, the shooting happened in atlanta. and all of a sudden it went from being like funny and brave to like really fucked up. So we had to we when in an editor I always like to we record it, but it was like with what goes on

in the news and us still trying to not do safe and careful comedy. If you bank something and then something happens in news, it's like we are done that a lot. I've done that a great deal where I go, but I just It's my thing is I dont want people. I never want anyone to come on the progress and regretted in they said. If they wanted, It out. I wanted headed out, sometimes I'll go I'll, say we all hit them up and say: hey I've, just giving you a heads up that we kind of flag that you want to sleep at it or take it down and in other people's had things about other people, podcasting is so fucking different within when this started started. I was just about this in the shower. Today I was like when this started. You went on a podcast, a new came out guns, a blazing I'll, say everything and anything, I'm not I'm network tv. This is the place of freedom. This is where we get to be dangerous and experience, and now we have a magnifying glass and wood and it's like- and I still do that- I still do that hard core.

and I regret it. I shall my bone abilities. I don't want to open. Listen was safe pike ass, they be listening to ryan, seek rest in the morning. Reserves its like our monopoly on very openly and honest about everything. I'll say things. I certainly and I ll talk about, sailed. Celebrities that I got like I mean do it with tom, because Tom and I get fucking, that's why most irresponsible podcast and is that is it just to make each other loud anybody that comes in with a problem about it? Doesn't it just wants to? or wants to take someone down. You don't like two guys. Fucking around who in coming- and I also think comedians weave we ve gotten- go to brainwash like were participating in it too, because we are letting the fear creep banners and by way of zero fear I had because I I hears worm living my life sword like is interesting, so say that if you think I'm seriously racist off of that joke, like you just new, never liked me

your motion, the point you ve never seen anything I've ever done and you don't know what how how many If you're new to this, then you go whoa. Maybe then do a little bit of research. I've lived up as a good guy I'm saying I'm like meaning like good hearted person I'm not going to say my whole life. I think I think I think I'm a good good person, but as good as you can be, if you're from florida but like I've, never hurt. People are most considerate of people and I try to be as best I can and so I go down that path. So that's the thing you have to wake up with in the morning it goes. I've talked nonstop for fucking the last ten years. We've all just talked on the podcast, I'm certain of laughter jokes that are appropriate. I'm sort of I've I've co signed on things to co, sign on something in an uber where I was like. If he had a camera on fucking cancelled today. He goes guys just like fucking women drivers write them. I want to argue with the guys on my guy. You know and he's a fucking women and I'm just look. in the back, like yeah. Whatever

if you have your hands off brother, to be fair? Okay- let's not let's not overdo it. Women are, are a buy literally wrecked. My car four times a week, but it's been. you just gotta go, I might go personally and they have. I heard people so its work. Then I accidentally hurt people sometimes like that it is part of the mental everyone's going to notches you, somebody the grocery store summit. You know it's like. you know someone's going to say something shitty to you or or be nasty whatever it like. You can't control that, like a lot of thinking go to the world bubble wrapped in no one's ever gonna hurt your feelings are trigger. You like looking as an opportunity for you, get stronger and figure out what your opinion as like you know. I just I feel like people need to remember, that, like comedians work, but the most mentally ill suicidal broke in unloved people on the planet and we're just trying to make you laugh strangers, laugh like if we ve piss you off like

You just made a mistake or you misinterpreted. What like, I just feel like people forget it. I think comedians now getting so successful and have porsches, and you know how these back ass. It is amazing house and you fit what you builders easy for easy to root for us when we are all broke. Yeah. Just remember why weren't doing this we every night for twenty years for no money tried to make drunk strangers, laugh like for free. You know just because we like all we want, is to be loved so to come after people that are famously credibly, broken and in pain like we lose a couple a year to suicide. You know it's like does like you're good. Making us wine about be very. Can we have to take risks? That is our job. We have to push. The envelope sometimes will push it too far with a fuck knows, but, like you, don't come to a communist show to hear what your uncle just send you We hear something you would never hear anywhere else. Yeah, that's the beauty of comedy. When I see buber say stuff, like you know,

trying to think I'm trying to think of an angle, something outrageous as his premise I love and others. An epidemic of gold digging whores, ruining our great men, rallies and you're, like our can wait to hear. Where he's taken this I said to tommy the dead was defending Chet hanks and he was he was like what like I'll take it I'll take a swing at this I I'm certain. There are people who he was in this show your honor and he was very good you're on your honor Dude, it is a show. A brain franson show on cbs bs of things as warmer than he kills, nor should it don't showtime dude. I don't wanna blow No, his son, his son and he's a judge but his son runs over someone. That is why it was. And you will cry your fuckin head off its excellent. Your eye I I I try, not maternal, but tat hangs. Isn't it is very good, comes from good lineage yeah he's gonna,

brood if you'd come from the most beloved man in america. Most he's half to find a way to get attention, whether it's good or bad. It's going to be it's gotta, be tough. Like my defense to Tom was- and I said, here's my defense- sittings. Do you like Tom hanks movies? He said yes, I said: do you enjoy everything Tom hanks does almost negroes yeah. I said you re, we like a connection with Tom hanks. I feel like usually go well guess what that's, how the sauce, dismayed just hangs. Tom Hanks is gonna, make fuckin, unborn or was the one where cast away that kid is gonna, have a dad is needed as baseball games and wanna get is at hand, and when the dad was around he was invisible. They gone public he's Invisible ties that I love you this above our don't. You know my daughter's hate. When are you read most and they hated by fucking hate it because they go they that they want?

to be put on a veneer of going like blue. It's a rather limited funding and there, like tat, is gross. Bear say yeah they're, like you all of son, you turn into like something different. because you're all of a sudden network, thou you're, all son, it's like ok, you need something for me: you paid to see tickets. You listen my bike ass, like what's up I'm here now and then out and looked so little kids. When you have a dad like my myself, you gonna get Georgia who the fuck instead they student bus or ass. She might be in a young and just and just goes. Ok. Thank god you are on your roadrunner. Whole childhood sea can fucker up. Well, then you got ilo weren't job where you're, like we're islands, like others like we're, going to use the data. viewed, I added a visa. For example, she has a mortar disappointment with moreover, and eleven no farther on Levin thirty, tomorrow, eleven thirty and it's a doomed start with her orthodontist. She feels like we're. Orthodontist is fucking her mouth up

the last time she went in the orthodontist did something she had a meltdown with an honest answer best one and two on the planet. Has it that he has bad. Mrs bobo organizer going his bad bedside manner, not okay and heat, but he does he's done it before is: can we just entering mount up to date, data just like stick your mouth and a teenager, your hand and the like children and teenagers now. That's all that matters is not enough. That can be done as I love watching people get through to gleamed like when. I was in fact an I'm a bright headgear when I was a kid and I swear I have talked about is unsafe before, like that that we're not issues take polaroids of me and put him in his pocket. I swear to god rule I dead, syria, some pretty show that happened I guess I can give you noticed. I just got went away. I was gonna headgear, really, ok, because you never wears it and I think we have a problem with this was like half of the fuckin basketball renders it like is so. I would just cut myself on it all the time. Oh, she hates it initiated and she's gone in day before christmas. Yosemite put spacers, though, so that she can bite down. Fucking

she's, got tactile issues. I objected issues, she loses your fucking mind rights. Then that means I pay taxes. Certain things like on my body. I got like I freaked out, and so I got my tooth fixed in the back and. who is being anxiety, this thing about a bigger than all that he them now. You can fill out and I can feel it and its shape different. I haven't really got used to it very, like legitimate, primordial, think something's wrong, something wrong and that's either internationals inactive. Two times and he does does things were mountain one day. If you go in there and she's, like as a panic attack like I don't fucking like this. With an honest she is. I don't like he's doing to my mouth. I feel like he's fucking my mouth, and when doctors, dismiss, though that's fine you're, fine jack it, that is the most frustrating feeling, as a young woman not being heard or seen and just being dismiss driver gardener him. I didn't, I didn't realize board heard of this monopolies having let's keep keep keep talking to her about it, because when she the guy knows. There is just like that. You know

Racism is is way worse than black women. Have it the worse because their plant paint is completely dismiss and they assume they have a higher tolerance for pain in the butt I went in. I I had really bad migrants for the longest time. I had all these like health problems and they just go into IB as it's your period like as a woman, they will continually. You know, male doctors, just like dismiss your stuff and it's the most frustrating thing that do she I'd I'd, heard people talk about people color and black women and women getting dismissed, and then I want still happen to her, and I suddenly animals, like any other like that honey. This is he's gonna do is gonna just fix your fucking mouth and eyes let's talk with them so than talking about being an absent dad. We do it. We have one video conference last week to I go and I've got a writers meeting. I've got to go to and I go. I I can't make it. I have a writers meeting, it's a zoom, not there and I had done in the coming to go. How did it go and I was already melted down against use no one's advocating for me. Like

I'm just is on his team, and I know that you'll understand so we have another one aiming knows the term these. Well, we allocate a big word. Ok, I love that I need hardly say then what yeah she's we boys taught her to advocate for self with her sees us accept so was when they get advocate yourself. Tell me needle a dominant anymore, I made my eyes- I saw my sets us and so on. So yes so we must win tomorrow, but part of that being a dad who's. Your job as this is that you get pulled out of like an orthodox zoom to do a writers meeting. Or a a table red or a vulcan podcast or to go on the road to them. can an that's what socks and that's what I but here's. What I'll say like honestly like people? What? First of all, Let me give me my other non us is amazing and disease almost too involved here, How are you doing has ever met like he's? Almost two cares too much, as must the cargo do just by conflicts. My do I have to go, but, but I remember one

I first moved to l a I went to the start. I had such chronic migraines like I'd, have to leave my car on the side of the road and take a cab home, because I couldn't even drive home. I couldn't read signs like I was having all these like health problems, and I remember going to this woman this doctor and I it also happen to me. When I had my ear bitten off by a dog, I went to cedar supposedly debats hospital in the world. The woman said when I had all these some migrants. ok! Well, I mean what do you think you're gonna die like she would like, It talked to me like that, and I I'd never had health insurance. I never had doctors before so I was just like wow doctors are wild and even when I went in with a fucking giant bleeding bandage on my ear the emergency doctor who was wearing turquoise rings by the way red flag. He I mean scarce surgeons are notoriously like arrogant, narcissists and usually the best ones are, but still you have to pretend to be nice to people and he was so fuckin dismissive and he was like I'm a, but I was- Do my ear has been bitten off by a dog taking off his like. It was bitten off like

He thought I was expecting. He just assumed. I was exaggerated. unwrapped, the bandage from my head in the thing fell right down and he seems like oh shit, I'm, not your wife, I'm not your annoying side, chick I'm, not I'm, not some fuckin whore, Then you're annoyed is bought like I'm a patient and ears like he just assumed. I was like his how he felt, all women he just like put on me. The could you thank you outlined what matters so fuckin important. It's not that hard to just like, but without with everything. By way of only not getting paid enough. I hate you two thousand dollars for a fucking visit liked. I once in take to get you to be nice. To me. Burke, I suspect or by better help online therapy. Let me tell you something: I m a huge advocate of therapy, I'm in Cornelia. But right now, after this movie, I had hoped up so many different things that I didn't know I had dealt with so many issues,

and about vulnerability when you're making movies it was really crazy and and and especially right now, with what's goin on get now covered tunnel that we ve been in people still feeling down emotionally out of sorts. You may not feel oppressed orbital loss, but if you're feeling a bit off new relationship and it feels like it's suffering that could be assign you need to talk to somebody online therapy does help. It says it can help. It does help. I am doing online therapy, It really does help better help is not a crisis line. It's not a self help line. It's professional therapy done securely online. You fill out a questionnaire better help assesses your needs matches you with a professional licensed therapist and you can start communicating with them in under forty eight hour schedule, secure, weekly, video phone or even live chat, appointments therapies have a broad range of expertise. That may not be a Annabelle in your area that super important better. help is committed to great matches is so easy, a free to change their purpose if needed is more convenient and affordable than in person there

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commissioner. I must hurry, I'm a famous comedian and why the fuck not like what and so it was all the problem, and then you see will come in with good bedside manner where there was like did make you feel comfortable and there's nothing better than fuckin a good like doctors and nurses seem to kill it like this, They come in and to a good nurse who can take your energy slow it down, get good. blood pressure from you, not freak you out there I mean look it's like I'm going to get. I always get in trouble because I imply that often there's a difference between men and women, saying that now is like a hot take. I'm like queuing on. If I say that, but women we are wired to just found out who do it on the day, I haven't finished a documentary, unwanted, that's what I wanted to say. I didn't runs given on

but I was saying how many women, young women, why or to be more maternal and more carry it's like for me. The nurse I want is a fuckin mom. Who already knows how to do all this shit. You know her to be a big joke with the guy that I wanted to be a big quiet and asked me if I know him and then asked me we face time. Then I love I love and then I'm great great great fuckin nurse is so import I shall be things are getting fucking weird in medicine. I think now, with all the like me. stuff. Like I have a male, An ecologist I've had for like ten years. I just go to him whatever I going now, there's a chaperone. Theirs a woman like a younger nurse and I'm like this so much less awkward. When there wasn't someone just watching may get like fingered by santa claus. We'd, like luke company, better vibrate, is a machine like she looked so much as a great and at last I want to watch

like how is she going to tell so how like just be real? I mean, like I gotta, be honest if I'm finger, I'm like how does a doctor do that just finger about you wanted to I remember that a member whether there is a liar line and knowledge and extremely love and goes like fix it and dropped it and goes him no global- that our engine gangs, whites had a wild experience with a guide in new york. She talks about it publicly and having a lot of women where he wouldn't wear gloves, and he was like doing kind of crazy shit really now Michael no tries to get his hands out as fast as you can. I dont know if I still want to lay down the law into a little girl just with liam when was not yet pregnant and he did took the big really cute up and hidden in the back lucky, ended up and those like, oh yeah, yeah with and then and then to do up. What's a thing of: what's it

when they scrape your uterus to see. If you have cancer, it takes a q tip and just punches it in the back, and I was like Jesus yeah, not a game not only show my dick to like a handful of when you want. Dr, so they hold your balls and tell you to call back in the day. Is that, like a fake thing to molest kids, we all remember the first time I had to do that and it was like. It was a hot nurse too, and I was like I was for baseball. You need to get a physical to play baseball. I bet kids get fucking directions all the time from that. I didn't get an erection, but I was terrified those I wanted to be like listen of control. This thing, I'm fucking, seniors old. I have no idea when it gets harder when it. Why, like I, need you to know that I didn't say that I just was. I please I'll, be hot, please smoking, son of a bitch where's. That is it true that when guys away a non planes, they get erections cause you in a new place and like a primordial thing. It's like. I need to fuck committee

in that work at the store, a kind of, but no I don't I think I don't think I know told me when they land on a plane. They get a little erection and there's something about like this. Is new territory to spread my seed in like something like subconscious I've? Never I've never had a hard dick on an airplane. I never have you never jerked off in an airplane. No I've masturbated in an airport, airplane bathroom, really yeah. I do before wifi you get so bored yeah. I don't know it's inflight wireless is down. Do you realize what wet dream that is for all the men listening is that a woman would masturbate on an airplane that is like it covers. Actually the fucking grosses thing now what I think about it like that is such a discuss day. No, I think it's so fuckin sexually, but that that I sexy when a woman does it. If a man, Does it it's gonna? It's it's it's creepy! If, if you could never talk about it

get me triggers a guy. You'd have to have some kind of like. Can you just get nor action by thinking that we give to your vision? look at porn. Sometimes now here's what I'm trying to measure on me, sir. My whole life has just been jerk off cause. I that's what, because its Could I just don't get it over with slightly joseph formality? I want the road and I'll just I have but masturbate pray every day and then and then I started with you during cobra start going. Will I should wait until I I shall let a build up right go something strikes me as sexy. Then I go ooh, then it's tension and then you're. Then it's not just your brain going him and we should jerk off today. It's a it's like a feeling. You feel it like a first kiss you go get him just like. Let me get this out, only being turned not being actually turned off, because I thought for guys at went whitman, it's kind of because I use it gets a person. I don't do more, and to do that, I'm dating like now to talk about that of dude. We I like

you like, watch porn together, it's so fun I could never watch porn with. Then she would. I have watched one point with her and she just was like what the fuck it was a it was a korean by in the end at the end she was like. Why would they do that in their own bed on there? She gets distracted by that you're, making it too real start talking. How I do it too, I'm like is that a customer world market bed. We should get that one, I'm like. Why are there a yoga ball? We need to do more yoga like I that's why I used to like most I masturbated was Tumblr was around his member tumblr porn and you are probably who I do I do. I do. Oh, my god, humor rang porn. That was like thirty seconds thirty seconds, so it was just one loop of the same thing to these. Where am I going to take them? Dude, it's it's. I remember I was that when I was a tom increasing this thanksgiving like two years ago, I want to say before the pandemic I brought one of these over and Tom was like. This is a pretty decent buzz. It's six percent alcohol. What sort of beer you know tumbler, porn,

total born. Without, I remember all I remember so. You had no time to be like. Oh no, like you know the more he it was before you and you're like oh it's over and I'm not done. You know it's just like on a loop that will play over and over again, but tumbler got in miami. I go to. I gotta do voice over for burt's conquer I'm doing the improv that weekend, then I go up to the front desk to check in for my voice over and the girls shirt looks weird. It looks like it looks like You ever have a hanger in your sweater, and then you put the sweater on and still got the hangar marks in it. I use hangers for exclusively for abortions. Yeah it's okay there, so she it looks like She's got hangar marks, but not on his shoulders on her chest, it looks like some loose weird and I'm not I am not scoping her out. I just go: hey brick crusher, I'm kind of looking and I'll try to figure

out and she seasonal my face eichelberger measure, and then I go into my head alike, nipples bottles aiming. I just saw blockheads I but clearly she saw me look and she just goes I've puffy nipples. Then I went. By showing a ball. She goes I've, puffy, naples and now she was not wearing a brain. You have to wear bra and I went so I I saw you looking I've puffy naples and I went I'm so sorry. I didn't know what I was looking at just then. I know it happens all the time cause. It looks like a v. I bet it looked like a b whoop, just weird, and no, it was like her boobs, but then it was like almost like these things. On top of her boobs, it was like it was soda acting like you know when you see like just ones nipples in a short, but this was a breath and then things like these, like almost cops at energy, there's something I have friends in this actually relates to you because you're the fuckin came in and save the day. For me when my the horrible nude,

getting getting ray. I knew no meaning you posted something that was just like such a fun cool thing that you did. That made me feel less like you know idiot, so the photo It was a screen grab of the video right where I was getting out of a bathtub that I accidentally uploaded on instagram stories when I was high on edibles should have known then that they weren't for me, probably wasn't. The rock bottom had to keep digging and there's something, and I was the thing that pissed me off the most about it is. I was bent over in it in all womens boobs, no matter how perky there were adding up if you bend over, they get like weirdly long and almost like a cow's like a fucking yeah like a like a traffic cone or like or yeah, but this is what's happening. Okay, so, if you take a bra off, I I thought when I got fake tits, I was never going to have to wear a bra again. How do they are just permanently like fucking alligator eyes like they're always pointing up? But when you do this, it looks like there's like a v and it looks it look you look deformed

I see what you're saying, but I'm saying like up here. It gets like bad yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and then they spread wide So then there's a we're ginseng nobody's awareness shirt that problems not helping things. But when I see myself out of brought it always just looks, it looks very arm like I've was injured. Horribly in the Scully surgery. Do still angry about love. I love like if, but they get Where does she you gotta, wear bra? Georgia should still no night. I know you need a core set of knees. I tried, after they made monks. I do not believe that women like a hot tag like women, are like free, the nipple, I'm not gonna, wear a prostitute, it's distracting to everyone was shocked and I I didn't even realize I was doing it and then she said she goes

not fair to nendo you're. Looking at my tits, it's like yeah, because if she was cool, she was cool. She goes. I have a tumbler and I was like what she goes. I have a tumbler. You should check out my tumbler. It's like her tumblr was like I want to say. I know it's not, I want to say it was like puffy nipples. Can I tell you something? Why don't what you please, when I do, did the sex robot thing. I had a sexual about built to myself. You know for the last special and I was down at the sex robot factory. and the number one requests for cost damn bodies is locked, nipples super large, puffy, nipples, real I'd, never see, I've never seen em and dark ones. Dark ones makes it funny owes. Of those I was always a dark nipples. As as your kid I thought that was second all babies are into it cause, that's how they find the nipple nipple women's nipples get darker when they have a baby, so the baby can find out that's interesting and then, and then Liam was the first chick I ever dated. Who had

like pink nicolaus essay. She looks like he s getting heartless, pink and there and for an it, was not a primordial. It was. It was almost like when I first saw Lyonnais get it was. It was like very very real. I almost forgot reptilian now and I was like hall. I ve never seen before, never and Is it something I was like? I didn't want porn? Wasn't your member? porn, didn't show up big in my life until after meeting the any kind of like porn, was still dial up, Annie. We had to put it a credit card to you to pay, for it was. There was no porno porno cheesecake viewpoint game more knob ex tube. stir whatever words I had I had a big list. I had nevertheless, the achievements, but it was always a dame danger for me where you were like oh yeah, but it was

until after I got married. Really the porn showed up in a big way, my light, if it ever, but does it bother her at all, no cause, I think in one hour twenties. I was so threatened by pouring, even just in my. Mid thirties. When I was like like his jealous and insecure and the dude I'm with I dunno. If it's I've got an older and more mature or if all the fucking therapy worked or if I'm just smoking the perfect amount of weight, I dunno what it is, but I'm not jealous of him watching porn at all, maybe because I know, and three years old do so many girls out there that are hotter than younger than me and like I can't connect, role that endless just watch it together and like who gives a fuck and doesn't it was interesting too, because I grown up in florida. I was a big strip, kid strip club kid, like that was like what we did. You go to the strip club, I mean even after hours in west palm fort lauderdale you go to strip club after the bars. The allowed. Is it shaped by state? Are they allowed to eu level?

touch them stands date. Nets ones are full mood, valley items, so many questions well. I've I have been. I haven't been Your problem? More is alive. dad's mean blow job. No, it does not. It just means lap dance and usually it means you're not allowed to touch her someplace. Where you can touch her okay, some places you can touch them ever go to crazy girls on the of course, yeah dude. That was my shit. I've been to a lot of strip clubs that was them up, but also that it was a bikini bar more. There was topless, but it always had the as music. The pool table like it was just the most fun place to hang out. It was a good happen to have hot chicks hanging from the ceiling. I was a good strip club journalists. Cone room was a fun one, awesome jumper climber, just moment in the stand up, shows there on sundays, like a brunch show in there was one where it was like every every. stripper with something like a cat. We are fed fetish. He like there were dwarves to what do we say little people I dunno broad williams. He spends your

doug super heavy super tall like it was sort of lake. Not these like, traditionally sort of like sports allison. Oh no. I I've been to jump Both I've been I'll. I've been to love her cubs and it's interesting. Is that it is a statement I really like, if you're a real strip club guy, then you're very aware of the boundaries, and you ask the boundaries. It was what are the rules and they tell you when your newbies that are the problem yeah. It's is it true that the best strippers in the r in montreal are are black and I was going to say, yeah yes of carbon. That's impoliteness, rivers are always black of black checks of own Have you ever watched cardy be asked dripping back in the day. No other latin love to do just gone youtube. Cardy I mean I assume she's she's, not ashamed of it at all. Stop she's incredible out in her in these other studies were. Do these dances together and it's so dope to see like strippers like getting along.

It's so much better than tat. For me, I will there's there's too, there are different. Where are we were just talking about this either through different obstreperous, though the kind you go and there like russian check or the or, like you know, the blue one check or the girl with it has small tits really aggressive and I like, and then you go to like magic, so in atlanta, and you see, athletes women who, like athlete, yeah well you're like mother fucker. I remember the first time I went magic city girl gets on a triple I've, always seen stripper like him Non spin yeah spin lie gonna leave just grab it like a fucking Jim class rope in third grade shorted climbing up to the top of it. Where the fuck she got. Somebody milder like you're gonna, like that guess at the top flips upside down and is looking at it like

It's amazing she's holding it like this, and it looks like this she's looking at her legs, holding like an upside down Jesus Christ and just starts dropping foot by foot eu and we're just like what thought crab. Well I mean really amazing and there are white chicks. I don't mean to slam white, chicks or white chicks. Who can do that too? I've seen it done, but it's not, Well, I tried it. I've tried it. It's hard, Google and I go to youtube stripper bloopers ever go to strip bloopers, it's a lot of like white chicks in their house. Thinking, they're doing something dope and like falling it's. None of them like get really hurt, then took a strip club class majority's. You like as exercise explore, is an ex bar. I dunno did you know, did you shoot? It was the next bar yeah her friend her friend, oh, oh, I don't friend, remember from samantha fisher taught dislike strip club class. I get was a workout class

on a pole and it was like all the moves. It's the most like the funniest, I haven't ever seen the and she comes home. She was like. I wanna try my moves on you. Okay, now my job I've got a grown up. You turn eighteen, the first thing you do you go to strip clubs. We were going to strip clubs. If you're, like I'm kind of an aficionado yeah, it's like coming over being like. Can I try some open mic? Jokes on you know: you're, like okay, like I actually know more about like sit the chair, I'm at garner how this is done, and then he like starts at the wall and like put- and I was like- I was like who knows, but you could see it the vote mobility in her face was so pretty like she was just like like it was not. It was not like there's a disconnect, sometimes that not that bad strippers will have where they don't. They are just like, and I don't blame them. I would probably do that too. You know

believe it like a great stripper who, like almost connects with you in your like wireless, crazy, like the brutal and one I gotta stop until you're, trying to fuck me and she was like mountains, do the job blows again, I'm not comfortable with it and then had a look of a brag and tell you exactly where that was too cleveland ohio at christie's. and so we can have a look of like this is my first day here and I want to make sure I don't lose their jobs. I need this job, but I knew your approval, and I was like oh my god and in the meat. That's why it's weird I feel like I'm fine, dating someone that I like can feel like embarrass myself in front of like all the dressing up in the costumes like. I never really did that before, because it just felt embarrassing and silly and like and and but this guy like I'm ordering like wild shit online and it's like he appreciates the efforts. So

much he understands lingerie. He knows the difference between the ages of operator shit. That's two hundred dollars in the trash. That's all if he knows what he can rip off and come on and what he can't yeah, which at first I was like. Why do you know so much about lingerie know? So you don't fucking, don't being jealous you child, like the word adults here, don't come on my expensive shit, rip up that nasty shit? You know he knows the difference like he appreciates it, He leaves it on during sex, whereas most of the day, just like it is on for twenty seconds they rip it off and look what he's doing was all it took me. Twenty minutes to fucking lace myself into this fucking thing I I bought. I was younger, he's thirty one. Was he really yeah he's younger than me? Eight, I'm thirty! Eight a vet. I know he's a critical care veteran rock climber. I know I've seen them wanting wrought climbing olympic videos. Oh yeah, yeah yeah, he was Jesus I saw you outlined with him last week

oh yeah know. Well, that was a hike that was he climbs boulders that are literally just slabs of slate language. What kind of rock climbing is he like? Mouldering bordering so bordering bouldering a suit it's wild It's like some superhuman monkey. Spiderman shit like it's, you know, what's also crazy, is I'm just going to admit it and, like I was kind of like on the fence about, like you know when, like someone died, and it's like I'm if you're dating a male comic or like, I don't want to see her stand up, because if it sucks I'm never going to fuck you again, the rock climbing, I do not know much about. I thought of his colleagues surfing were like I know, there's a lot of like amazing, serve I was just go. It's like a hobby, that's kind of disguised bombing around like a gem he's like really amazing. I made me so fucking attracted to him. Seeing him do end. Passion is attractive. Nobody one has got a passion. Who is really into something it's always at

active. I never do that with your bare hands. That's crazy! That's insane! Dude! Look at this hill! I couldn't do that enough time to climb swim, but he's holding on to like something that's a millimeter is this is his instead. I mean he's not really like on ensuring that much but wholesome space like ross because he was sponsored for our climate, so we bolstered he'd, get a kick out of this. We bordered in vietnam over open water. I have these exact. These rocks that you can do you can climb and if you fall, you fall into the water. Well, that's fine. We did that and then we we went and went up straight up what rock climbing and he's fuckin, but he he but here's the problem. They can't get their fingers what you mean in life, not at all, so yeah. There's not I mean not the mai pussies that what these days by who were easy, easy, that's what he likes. It feels like a bolt. We can't you just fingers, but because it because it forgets

Allah says yes, because if their fingers are damp, all his videos are rock climbing yeah. That's all it really does that's all he does. I know it, but he's a full time that, but he grow up fees, gaucho arizona, but they he goes to sleep at night with, like this creed. This pasted dries his fingers he shaves it with a razor generals and off, and then he can his fingers workers, then your fingers will split why your climate, so it has to be dry at all times. So, even when we go in the pool he has hands or outbreak above the water and does he eat like a normal person. He is incredibly healthy, but not in like a like a weird way: it's not like Justine chicken in kehl or anything like that, like he enjoys good food, makes good food, but he's like very balanced, which is really annoying like I'll make like if I were going to make like vegetables I'd make like one he'll make like ten and mix them all together, I'm like weirdly to broccoli when you have to do all the other ones, like he's very thorough yeah, it's a rock climbers are the really good with like diet.

Is like they're, very cognizant of less of the environment of their bodies. What they pay into thereby maybe a certain way to think about arena. It's like you're. He doesn't like he just eat there is a normal balance. Person he's, like the only healthy person, updated its rules. How did you meet we met? because he said my dogs life. and might lead so doubly. So literally, like my dog had this thing he was dying, nor could figure it out. If that its answers, as a lot of us have no fuckin, I know they're doing and unfortunately, sometimes the o that is the less they know about the new technology you know like so I I was going to do the older vets cause. I like they know the most, but there's all this new technology and equipment that they might not know about. So I finally went to is that they hospitalized him he's too, critical care about him, so he's the last person you say you meet him when you're, when you're he's about to save your dog's life or put you right and that- and so I I

laughter a beanie ah at the vat, and they took a few- we know of my dog to put on his cage in that when he was hospitalized with the bosnian and he was gonna. Take you down and then saw it was me because that's what the comings and then he wouldn't normally look at it, but he was like looking at the chart and then he realized, like crazy shit, was happening, and here I am in the lobby, Do you know? Have you seen should speak? I have ok, so we're like alexis and tat the that in the debts like I'm, not like you downloaded regrets and he's like the normal, healthy that and so damn levy made that shows a good friend of mine and I was like dude bats are not hot like what is this thing with hot vulgar hot? That initial makes that he's a good I'm telling you younger bailed that are always can hot. So this mother father walked out here. A shit and I just would like. Oh, my god, my dog is dying,

and all I can do is try to secretly take a picture of him to send my friend yeah you nailed it. This is one of the participants literally telling music anyway, so your dog has as much I'm alive and I'm just like get it and he was just like. Are you trying to take a picture of me and I was like? Oh, I was like no, I'm recording a voice memo just to make sure I get everything you're saying and then he walked away and he has such a fucking little tiny like like hot ass, that's really high heels what is a rock climber debating his glutes all day, long to start, take a picture of his ass and he turns around and he was like, and I was like nah I'm just yeah. My friend is gay and I want to show him what you are is not for me it's for him, whereas I pretended I was making history. I was like hey guys. I met the oh, my god. I thought I was like the asshole doing and igy store, as my dog was dying at the vet

I started texting with the pandemic happened and then I started taking lunesta asleep, and then I just started crazy, like lunesta texting him and he was doing it so we started hooking up during the pandemic cause. I was like I'm only going to fuck a medical profession I'll. Do it all Democrats, yeah frontline them, yeah a frontline worker looks like he's a guy. I think he's thirty one like one of the chances. This will ever work out just fuck at them dye my hair, blue and you know fuck younger ben, and then it stuck god. It seems what when was the last time, I'm not saying you're in love or anything, but when was the last time I sounded. Let me say I love you really. So when was the last time before that that you were loved but I dont every time you did you, but that's a great question. I think that we'd be lying. If I said everyone, then I said I love you too was I didn't know what love was at the time or there's a couple of ones in there, where my nose would look, I would just set it to get you to stop screaming or I just set it to like cause. You know and to pretend this was thanks, so I think, like true love, were my

saying I love. You was actually congress with my behaviour because love to me, as I like, he had a a good definition of love, because I and say I love you for the longest time as I said earlier, and I think I'll let you know, You know when you love me, like that's my bang I've I've sent levied a lot of people. I don't wanna stay throw this around lets them. That's not say it was just you? Let him know, and then I asked him one day he's like why the fuck, when you say this- and I was like- what's your definition of it like I dunno I don't even we have to agree on a definition and he was like love. Is as for me if you're mad at someone an still wish the best for them, I haven't I love that I love everybody. Maybe I love everybody. Like others people I actually I that I let people I don't like that. I don't I wouldn't I don't want wish bad things on I want. I don't always seem to find the success in the way that I wish that it didn't hurt me yeah, and you know I owe a lot of. I there's a lot of people

I think it's just that. I think I think it's just not like in your romantic relation, just like like if you, if you and I together- and you heard me break my heart. I can so he not. I still hope you find someone instead of I hope you fuckin never finds love in dies about all this, and I hope that then I dont lovely am because if she broke my or if she broke my heart like if she cheated on me, I would want such bad things. You'll never get over that whenever I ok, so I know a couple couples that are many other bending other like. Ones like seven years ones like nine years, There were at a town on movies for a couple months or for work. Got had devil. And drinking struggles, one of them the hooker one night, the other one. It was like a texting affair was kind of more of a like old flame from fake spoken was more like an emotional affair and they I've seen a lot of

marriages end and relationships end, but these are two that like worked through it I could work duly. Achieving me. I'd have to what it depend on who it is who you have to when you ask exactly what happened that that's what would kill you? That is what would kill you see. I have. I have I it's bad right now, but I have a cd where I can't. I can't I don't really know so it's I don't even know what it is. I haven't really been diagnosed, but I can't let go of a thought. This bother me. I think it I chew it. I have a too and I went on prozac twenty milligrams of totally fix it. We mainly emerson That would be my work. I have repetitive so I've repetitive, so I never I had been unlike super like four years ago. I didn't do anything for me. Me me like a numbs omby can have orgasms like felt. Nothing was the shell of the person. Didn't work went off it and then I was in Might there be a duty of de are and have been until some programmes in all that shit and then I, finally, what you psychologist subdued by only prob. I don't think I have depression. I talked to gary coleman about it like I was like. I don't think I have any of those think my only real problem,

Is that when I walk away from a conversation, I always We think about that assistance when you're such a daily and he hates you, you talk too much. You got your money, you know you're, not even funny and use, and it's michael. Meanwhile, the persons, not even thinking about me, they're they're, just like that wasn't licensee, went me about a negative thought I'll, just spent on it and he was like that's like it just a wiring issue with dumb your brain and proves that sort of stops that loop. who love the sub twenty twenty seven and ten milligrams and I'm on twenty milligrams, and it's like it's. It's freed up hours of life a day, and I can see it coming. I can see it starting. then I'll go cause. You know what I use to justify going with. Oh I'm a comic and I overthink things that I'm going to make a joke out of it. That's what I do. I do all the time. I remember one time. I have a liquor, a freckle on the back of my leg. We were and for me I gotta have laws on fire hot off our real hot hartman I'll noticed

something and then I'll go. What's not let that be a thing bert and then my brain will melt down and we're on a boat in like power tat make up. for example, want a boat like power. Having drinks were having a great time, I'm in a speedo pennant one of the best days of my life, and I look back at my calf and I go. I have really great cast in my head and then I see this freckle. I think it's on this calf. It's like a dark freckle and I went that skin cancer and I went god. It don't think this. Don't let this turn into a thing. Stop it stop it right. Now: it's not skin cancer. You don't and then it's already gone. It's already gone It's out the fuckin horses out, the fuckin stables and you get. There is no getting it back in it's gonna. Take a couple days till you're, crazy question leaves. Was it this bad? I'm just curious. it got better or worse after you had kids, because once your father in your brain knows, I have to stay alive for some neglected, didn't get any worse. Just in terms of your. A mig dilah? Guess you have kids the first

time I notice did happen. Like noticed it happened, was when I was twenty six years old to be in new york. When I stand by one of my only one I stands and the next day went to bar is not going to work and is gay to forget. It ever was like friends with skating ever fact, one as we would he was. He was his. He was awesome. He was he He was a gay back down with so much fuckin awesome I mean I don't know I just I just about its sights set on like I did it. I was. I got you don't know. I just heard stories every morning and come up with a new fucking, this is. What happens when you came out back then and Well, you know, yeah, you had character and he came in and he's like. I think I have a venereal disease and I'm like what it was like I dunno. Where do we keep our medical books and I was like I just had a one night stand?

I was like, and I went up and showed him and he was like. I got this thing on my dick. I dunno. If it's a spider bite, it was a great spider's bite, your dick and so he's like come on as we went and showed me- and I was like I was like all that was pretty aggressive and I was like that looks like something, and he goes why coulda gotten a bit despite spider, and I was like I dunno and then I was like Jesus so then I I went by a man in a spiderman costume. He was second year at texas tech, fucked out of a loft one time he came in with a black eye like what happened to you and he was like I fucked out of a loft last night. He took me to a club where there were dudes. He goes whatever you do, don't go behind the curtain and I go what's going on behind the curtain. He goes just peek your head in I poked my head in the curtain, everyone's just sucking each other's dicks. In there

just apply, and so he goes and shows like showed me, his dick and then we'd get the medical book we looked for what it is. We can't find out what it is and then I go to the bathroom and I'm like. I should check my dick. I don't wanna say last night and my o c d took over and I couldn't stop looking at my dick and then I started I've talked about this before, but I sort of fucking with it like I started going like. I must have something I must have something. Let me do you know what I'd do? Let's just get in front of this: let's just go to the store and get a bunch of, solvents and we'll just will just cover all our basis. And next year

No, I I it was it spiraled me out to the point where, like if I my mom, flew me home, I was sitting with my dick and balls and a bowl of vinegar watching quantum leap drinking fucking forties, just going like I gotta shut, my brain off like it was so bad to look at this is my new thing. I do. I cut my cuticles on my toes so bad that they start bleeding. I see this one I can't like I get. I like. I sometimes get little in drone like toenails or there. It's not that bad, but I just get obsessed with digging it out and I like the idea of any like dirt being under my toenails. I dig so much that it like will start bleeding. And this is a kind of a new thing like I've always had like really compulsive obsessive, like tendencies, but is the first time in my colleagues like I'll, do under here tunnel, sir bleeding, and only key elements of what the fuck is. This man, I don't know how it was wonderful. Aren't you can't stop luke? I cannot over me also some,

well the podcast and I'll be like the goddamn it like what. Why did I? What am I doing like I just like and that's been lately lately, I've been just saying just like to be fair. What have you been doing for fucking ready, certainly trashed reese witherspoon, but like no, but no, but no that's what here's what she likes you since I didn't trash or at entrapper we, but we were talking about someone gotta, do I and I It was somewhat famous because we step back and yeah yeah, and so I said I was trying to explain that I have this theory that anyone can be a karen and that anyone can be be a bad person when they are a good This is true and I was like pull up. Reese witherspoon life I haven't eaten by eleven. I would go full can yeah and I'm tellin tom, but this is an try, sir, but were showing the do. I video I I'm certain that she would not want

at reshared again now and you're like made news and was rehashed. I'm sure she'd be like what the fuck like that was so long ago, and that's not who I am and that's what we're proving is that, like she's reese, witherspoon she's, a great person was she Does another cameron her she's behaving the way we know to behave, that's not who she is and my argument waters as the man that, because the dude there I dunno that dude, but that dude was you could tell he was like taking the l. He was like. I have a d, I'm getting a dui, I'm going to jail and he was like go back in the car. Go go back to the car that her husband was her. It was her agent, I think, who's, her husband, okay, yeah and and Tom goes. What do you do in that situation? I say I told the officer dictator, that's my wife, I'm a taser. It trust me rather be unconscious than what you're about to say, really smart, yeah and and but but then we done and I'm driving home, and I'm like that was I negative about reese witherspoon like like. I hope I wasn't mean like I don't I don't dislike her, but his talk so much shit on podcast where you go like. I hope I didn't

I hope she sees us and like a hope that she's not saying they're going in and with generous and work generations like, oh, but way these guys are hilarious and races like I wanted it. What do they watching today and she's like Would you getting a dui you she's? Like that's all I all my life. I know he's saying these days you. It is a fact that guy I have a feeling. She doesn't remember much of that, though, I'm sure she'd love to see what happens. I forget who got a dui, but we were. I was saying so, I recently got one in the tom and I were talking about it, and I said what you need is you need, as the man in that situation, look at a cop and go taser. Trust me just taser. Doctorate render her unconscious. She does not. This is now who she is, and this is a poor representation. I am certain you have a body camera now, but I you know I I felt like this the other day too, and it's just like as comics. I feel like we have like. I don't know, I'm at the point where I'm sort of like I've I've. The hollywood is like. I think the more I push it away in the more I quit the more they pull me. Of course they want you more is no more. You say no to things like I'm sort of like there's a point. I have two sub walkman

shelves to be like. Well, then, what if they don't cast me in their movie in five years, they were going to cast me anyway, it or or if they don't. Because of this, I shouldn't be in a business with them regardless, but I've done that two lately, I was talking about we are to make whatever cancel culture that always comes up, and I was like dude I am sure, make an argument that works used a super fucking forgiving society and were for the most part like. Yet what does that mean? Like do miss gibson wellgood? Since thirteen movies and production does yes, and he was care. He was his council. Does you gotta get he it was like? You is trying what he was like for real man, I'm looking for some time, people listen to those videos where he was screaming to his wife, and I like how he'd be really good, dramatic actor. We should hire him for that. I watched someone tweet to someone. They quoted MEL gibson's tweet and I was like, like the remember, the voicemail when he broke But what about four years ago? I say about the lakers decked out: this is it. This is what I'm sorry about for the record. I think have a good time, a male gibson. I made him a good party

pretty fucking to our people and I'm not gonna. Let em just blow off the fuckin rounds. Also, don't believe that everyone, when out another two schools of thought, which is economic one when drink. The person they come out is just a who you really are, and I don't think that's true. I I that's how I know it's not true, so I need to really rethink my childhood because I spent my whole life going like she didn't mean that she didn't mean that, and I don't think she did it when you drink when you get fucking wasted That's not, who you really are. I have. I am not a wild drunk, I drink a lot, but not bad drawn, don't get dark, I get very sensitive, very sensitive, vary too. Fences are down there, but the two boys were my wife and daughters will be like. I will see my daughters go. Oh Jesus dad I didn't mean that, and I'm like and I'll just be like. Well, how come? No one was watching movie with me.

It's like what is it me or my homework that was like? I never had homework and my dad wanted to watch a movie and yeah. It's up. I'm I'm. I think I'm going that's cool. I'm gonna go sober for three months out when you're in serbia, I think so yeah I feel like they start twelve fifteen there you should lie. I just I just don't want to get. I don't want to get too like gay. I wanna be a good place. The whole time and the more and when I don't drink I'd less of those those triggers with I had where I, I repeat, phrases where I repeat things the less it happens. But what happened? I just try to get wet when you leave in a month and two monday may get a thing of prozac. It doesn't kick in two. We even like a ten northern just see, even if it's psychosomatic a lot of lavishes mental midsummer, susie, I think I'll say I just went to the best doktor like this guy doktor David S, use on my pike ass. You like to do the huge huge doctor and I've been all these actors that leg

one of the everyone wants to pathologize or give you a medication or give you a disease or be the one that figured out your thing and like Four years ago I mean I was only the vulcan antidepressants. As I wrote the thing that I didn't really like, everyone just wants to push meds on you and give you a diagnosis to either get you out of the office or be the hero, and I was with doctor but I guess who needs nothing from me. He so successful that like who is doing favor by seeing me frankly- and I would talk to talking like us, economics, Their savings idea in someone's are over think things. I should probably mass, and he just was like- is it is it harming new or helped like I've been there with doctors dude he. I was like some of the best jokes everyone the best work. I've done, I over thought it and still it was obsessive. I don't dollar superpowers. It could actually be a solar panel of gave to the browser great bucky statement, because I think so I have said is over and when people give their heartfelt. Policy when they get in trouble. I actually give those real to myself. bad. I gone actually really sorry. I did that and I'm

genuinely learning, in the moment, like I've literally said that the base, but I was like I was like these. No one gives a fuck. No one gives a fuck, I'm trying to be a better person, but I'm not trying to do a person and fuck up my comedy finally, a better person, oliver two little girls who are socially, ass, his words. I say the wrong thing constantly, but how did you know what the right thing is? you haven't told you and I'm in my own house now, it'll help and I might say something about like a fuckin. I was telling those six in georgia, as she was learning to drive. I was like I was a woman you're not going to be, don't expect to be good at that snow. Genetically inferior, we'll get you It s a lot of dry for going to get. You think, I'd, auto pilot, that about you and listen. He go to know. I said I say here: do we have we had? We cannot pretend in this. Is I think I would have to want to two others. My special as we

All have internalize sexism. We all have it like I'm trying to work on those joke about neural link of, like I'm gonna, be fact when the mine readings africans outcast. Everyone thinks that on this, like sitting super progressive feminists, but that's what I say what I do. That's so my first thought dude. My first thought is my grandfather's voice or my dad's vote. When I say female pilot walk on the planet. Like that's me, the first reaction, but then I go now await me. She probably we're twice as hard to get half as far as it is probably better like I have do coach myself out of my sexist sought, thought. Sometimes I was on a plane and amarillo, and a woman's voice came on the thing in his big old taxi goes well we're not making this flight and I was like fuck it and by the way I just laughed at it like here's. The problem is, I laughed at it cause. I was like that's fucking hilarious and I was like oh and then I realized

I think, he's joking. I think he's like he's saying that for real and I'm thinking, that's a funny thing to say and but but no I said to my daughters. The other day I said I have a new bid on cat calling and and Ultimately, like iron ore ruin the bit, but I also believe it I'm doing. I am doing the bit to them in real time and I'm blaming women for cat calling, but I'm doing it to them and I'm figure out and its working on my head. Amongst other you, don't you get half we do a bit. You like. I think this mask and add up. I think This tags going to be really fucking hilarious, usually think our job is comedians. I I find myself thinking this lot now. It's our job to come up with a ridiculous premise: that's not through yeah and then prove that its true right, we're like lawyers we go here is a ridiculous premise. That makes absolutely no sense, but I'm in a fuckin proved. You whites One time tell em. Maybe if we don't believe that we're gonna work, it's thought accept experiment, I'm everyone,

I tell them. They were talking about brought with the progress women have made and they were bragging as if they had fuckin done anything, I haven't even been to a march, and I was like what you guys have a dining compared to dogs and the like. What and I was like I mean dogs are killing me, compared to you guys, I mean all this progress. You made nothing compared to dogs and like what do you mean. I said twenty years ago, if a dog pissing your house, it was, it was mandatory. In the south to put their nose in it and hid among the newspaper today. You cannot lay a hand on a dog in no one hits. today. Let us have surfaced, acts it says, do not pat yeah. Maybe that I certainly go. I said dogs have rosa part, their asses under the fucking run of play and they haven't sent word. They use, one hashtag go, so you guys, I mean you every time you guys are out there marching, but the progress you made a dog just sitting in first class and my daughters were so angry and I go guys. It's like you can't say that dad

hold on, I cannot be. Our job is the way things. No one can say that we really what we get bigger at their head around. The fact that you go. Do you go hey. No, that's! Actually what I do is like that's when you get to live in this fancy house. Could I say shit like that and it's gonna fuckin sought, when you're in college and with your friends and someone's like oh well, somebody to stand up and you're like oh, don't turn it on will also have to like it. So it's going to be fascinating to me like when, when I look back at the shit that I believed and thought and thought was important to fight for when I was like even in college like someone recently, sent me a photo of me in college, and I was protesting philip morris. On the college. It was like literally me and this person dressed as a cigarette, and I was protesting the u k I p at penn like, like alone. No one was protests in any things. No one had any problems, and- and I was like

and it will just so we're cause- I didn't have any serious smokers in my life I now spoke about like it was just like this weird thing that I just thought was important. It made me feel important did superior and whatever- and I just didn't know enough about real problems Well, you know that isn't necessarily a surly bid priority by dinner, and then I looked back in a minute. the I'm embarrassed that that's the hill I was willing to die on nineteen hills. I those eyes wandered on issues like that's that, like instead of like you, racism and institutional brought in slavery reparations like I was a second cigarettes read bad. It's like everyone knew that already have you. I thought I was like some martyred genius. There was like I'm an to say this done so brave. I remember watching I am so grateful so when you're done before, you have real problems that you think that's a real problem. You know o

The remember biggest problem is you saying that they were pretty great life yeah? Oh, they have a really great life. They have a very great life. How I just I don't think they realize is, I don't think they don't think they realize? I have a job to be honest with you like. I think they just let me go off and party, and and do in swam videos and promote things, get to speak and getting an rollers gates in there sitting there like what the fuck do you do like? I, I saw my dad. on a suit. You get a corner of the world They come home late and I go to resolve he'd like I'm still working gimme a minute be like oh working means looking in a book and writing being sounds like when dogs like it as looking at our phone they're like. Why are you linking that little black square all day? How can that possibly be interesting? That was like us as kids, but this reminds me of something that we gotta talk topic earlier and I think it's important to say because when you were like, I wasn't around for my kids, I was working all the time. I my mom worked full time in at bloomingdale's a department store in public relations in retail, and I used to have to go to work with.

Are all the time and I didn't get to play with friends. I didn't get it and I was like thought I had like the worst ma. am ever because all she did was work and I dunno and she worked all the time and she worked on week. We're always at her and like I didn't realize that I was getting programmed a really impressive work ethic and I was like this is what Women do they work, you know so in your kid. Seeing you work is awesome and I think a lot of people fissile guilty that they can't be around. But, like I'm, really grateful. Looking back that, I saw that beyond my work ethic. Is you either go to? We have become supersede says so, I want to do both I'm on the track to do both, but there's this thing where people are like. Oh, you can't work a lot and have kids like no. Let your kids see that that's what you're doing and program that work just be like yo, I bust my ass I bought my ass from the second I get up early and then and an fuckin do all day long, but it is

using, as you know, is yours. So it's like a video. I get why this, but I'm not really brand friendly. Look it's fuckin Jesus I mean you aren't you ve got some partnerships and sometime normally I do. I do by a neutral pipelines coming out and and are there any big brand deals that came to you that you said no, to you, don't say the amount alone, then why do you say no one was cause superstition. What does that mean? What was superstition I've had they wanted you to do, have known and unknown. I just I just. I Donna Judas, stymie rights on a billiard break your mother's back. I have weird superstitions about certain things and I love this brand. and I am I like to them, but I had had a friend who work with them and then I noticed that he was working with them and then a lot of bad things happened to that friend and I connected the two, and I said I don't want bad things in my life. I'm not gonna work with them. If you tell me that friend is second property,

by the bad things happen. Well, I had nothing to do with the fact that it had nothing to do with the brand, so angels day, attitude as decided. The name out like yeah. No, he brought that on themselves. Yeah. He worked really hard to make sure bad things happen to I. They came to me with an offer, and I said I did. I notice the second. He started working for them that bad things happened and I no doesn't know that things have happened before tat, so I just I think I've said no to a few presents, but not like passports. I love part, I loved you in burundi. Guess, monsters and finding a pike sponsor the environment it. Why wasn't? I said no to like baby serves a guy like that serves now. It's killing kids, and I shall now when the girls with you and they were the only one I am items I had said. Yes, yes to products that are might like to think trying to think.

I I'm gonna ones right. I really liked was on. I won't say their name, but there were there were because there are so few of them, and I don't know which one I had cause. I had one onto bears one an ear yeah, but it was a tobacco alternative. It was a gone. There was the last round of that and it was another think side to Lucy. why wasn't? I love lucy? I love and I and I am like just a little bit of nicotine and yet- and it was I fuckin but whose awesome and people kind of shit on me and they're like. Why would you do that, and I was like I was like I fucking lie. I don't know what I was like in my head. I was like nicotine's really great it's like if you didn't use it in moderation, and I can't I definitely can't, and it is- and I mean the feeling when you put that in you get excited in korea, they have been you modeling dot arsenals, because a lesson is at an end, but we are trying to quit but I was using it in like a gay and, like I wanna get

Akon is shit, oh yeah, that was as a gateway drug yeah. Well, so do I do this? This is a a campaign for a product to partner with blank this company is, if is a company driven to put science in the service of every woman's sexual empowerment, a little bit already like to partner with you on a social media campaign looking to collaborate to create material? The key messaging points are, design, led experts who help develop viagra. It's a a pleasure. Serum is topical for arousal an orgasm makes coming come easy. safes enjoy solo for safe sex, it the it relaxes, rational and could floor clitoral or literal. would muscle tissue promoting more frequent, more intense, more satisfying orgasms by we way just reading. It turns me old primal like fucking go. Is this get it by and by when? My

The question is, what does it tastes like? That's the only way is everywhere. Have I gotta be down their enjoying this myself? Do they have it and peppermint if they have it in nicotine, is there we can just by the list. if you could really just partner with those rod, I you you haven't losberne. If you get it, oh, my god, I could feel the flavor flavored lube they tasted great, and you can just put it out there plus you will get addicted to nicotine or I bet nicotine patches you could get. I bet you if you put one of those of peace. A common european union feel it a bit. You feel you and say what will now also people that so I was doing my producing the cycle. Mean thing for late. I remember when you're do that, yet it was like a level I still when do it like it the idea is to do it for, like thirty days,

in rewire your brain around negativity as a cure for depression. I'm sure it's different for everyone. It was like a nasal spray, but it was also half oxytocin and it's kind of a miracle. Thank god. That's not wasn't my thing I could see that getting out of hand really fast. I mean it feels like it just feels like a war, really enjoy as it wishes, feels, like minded loves nasal spray wondered I could get. I could get that it can also get it normally use it. But just I mean you can't it's it's prescribes. You can't really get it super fast, its doktor Conover, a large amount of our he's, fucking incredible I do think at some point. Ketamine will really take on be antidepressants and, show because anti depressants are fuckin wild and, like so many people on the side effects are or are not great for a lot of people and sometimes outweigh the benefits. Sister just got off zoloft and like lost six pounds immediately, and I was like what do you mean because zoloft just makes you suck hold onto

it looks like she was expects blaming the woods. That's gonna make you more depressed. How does that make you less bad? I was like uh and so on. Never I've I've, always my mom, I'm about for some are one of the one in an anti depressants. My mom's, like oh honey. Those are your nooks and crannies and I went ok and I didn't and in my room in the times I don't ever too anyone you wanna go on in are depressants. That is that its secret yield. to anyone and also was like okay- I was kind of shamed and not doing it, and so I've never done it and just been like well. I guess I have a fucked, a brain and I have to deal with it and and we with anxiety it's it's bad beta workers that such a game, changer fur. I have him, made him like a blockers through fucking game. I loved I never enjoyed. They were called podcast sponsor to are, oddly enough yeah wanna, say wanna say it was. Was it hymns offering it? I thought it was. I thought it was. Oh, I thought they were.

Oh, I have the pro panel all prescription, be you gotta talk to a doctor. Oh good yeah go to a doctor cause. All it does is stop adrenaline. It doesn't make you tired, it's not a narcotic, it's not a benzodiazepine like a just. I do it for migraines and if I dislike anxious for no reason I'll pop, so I got proscribed bitter blockers by my doctor. For above sure and the first night I took them. I was so relaxed. My kept taking my blood pressure and it was like super low, like one ten over or what were like like sixty over one ten and I was like that's too low and then the next I do a college and I drank on the plane, but it was odd drinking only explained this to people that really drink a lot with, like you know, any good, the airport and you'd feel sick, but you still have a beer that kind of drinking we're like I don't really want to drink, but I'm doing it I know that I normally drink right now and then a bonnie macfarlane movie came out about about female tat common one of my favorite scenes

in any move? I I know the scene you're talking about is when she's like a lot of female comics aren't funny, but a lot are so we don't need. Did we just need to get the ones that aren't funny to quit and she calls up a couple. Female commissioners have gestures if you could start doing comedy, muttered entertainment. That movie is her involves on the front seat. She's, just a man and their kissing and holding its cause you know, rich voss and you're like a, but so anyway, I didn't bother with restaurants as one of my favorite jokes ever, but he's got like three or four months it like, and I maybe haven't seen enough of it because he's in new york, but when he goes, I don't mind fucking a girl or a period. I just pretend like I'm killing her it's just one of my favorites

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hours that evening after the college to go, do travel channel and was at a car service. Take me to like ohio and I got in the car, and I was on bitter bucks. I two bottles of wine and Bonnie's movie lined up and I I just never got around to opening the wine and normally, if I'm in a car for fucking eight hours, I'm gonna open a bottle of wine. I'm gonna pass out. My never it happened I went. This is all this is really odd. Also, an all anxiety was taken out of my life, the bitter backers, here's where it caught up to me, I get to fiji, were scuba, diving in fiji and bade about her for some people. Create a dry cough and I am getting the dry cough. I dont and I gotta tell ya. I was lumping like the two days before. I think I got it in a cave, but I get this call its blinking when you go caved escape. I think. That's it to me the most psychotic thing you can do. No, there's the does. What the above the way there

guys that tell stories about about getting stuck in k. We know visibility, notice, building stock and all they have as a chisel to try to get their head through like they get. There aren't dude, people have died legitimately want. We need any basic doing those kids and where we think the title, and get highly in there with a much a bit like the best I was in the world. A couple of them died, one of them those like me. I remember when all that was going down so amazing. The way the world can rally around something like that. We should do that once a year. just like pick a school laws biggest school didn't like it why, because I think that was given private school. They had a good services that will team with a lot of, where the kids are doing now? It's never africa. Is it notices and in no way do not hold its knowledge? Never tony twenty twelve do remember clearly job with the biggest thing on the internet. Those first go to your cancelled. Yes, by have a theory that people should not make a lot of money.

its name, one person that made a ton of money and at what right away and on what well for them is my whole thing with a lot of our friends at him. a lot of money right now my dude have someone may, for you say bit lot: they there I mean every law are you? What are they gonna like dying in a murder suicide thing I might later coney documentary or make he males money and then was like started doing, fuckin, math and money. One naked happened know what happened, but I didn't make I'm gonna just I started making money when I was over you otohime burn herds money you deserve it, but you also, no the value of it. I see, our friends or to make it a ton of money overnight on four can take time like this is not an end. Well, I did David port noise bike ass with a ted talk or josh richard shoes like nineteen, the hotel, as it did. What's your plan name, one person that was rich and famous at nineteen who isn't dead crazy, like you know,

amanda binds as low hand corrie, and then I was inquiry. Hame corey Feldman he's a cure. Those like exactly edward furlong, like what is your plan whatever for long doing exactly he I'll tell you what he's a member he broke into a restaurant in released the masters to set the lobsters free. Like fame and money that early, whose it ended well. For me, Patrick Harris, yes, go you're, doing wholesomeness right like That's he's got a those like who looked like solid moon fries doing good, but she get, but she a way for thirty years. So, yes, you do now informant oh molly, but now deportment what about while the cape at the oscars fellow about like a wave miranda cosgrove, yes, what my dear friends, she's, incredibly normal, but also whose mandate said the guy amanda Cerny a minister, It is a.

Loads are models, makes a comedy videos and she has twenty million minster and followers and some crazy man are you two fires and you just turns out content constantly and now she's making a tunnel only fancies firemen who she was born, I dont think, is poor and I've always I think you can wear his lungs. You manage. The expectations are go like I don't think so naked out at she's, digest like more regular. He answered saint miley, cyrus, miley cyrus just fell off the wagon. I heard no, get it so. Therefore I dont know I love you too so differently, but without public news. Or did you hear no problem? I think that if she was at some bar and allay and show you she said and in order to allay our urban areas- and I want to say she was like they said she was canoe to link up with some I dunno, the guy is but, and they were like she's and they were like she fell off the wagon I hold up. First of all, she's got a great support team

I think you're a good head on her shoulder it yesterday. Squid drinking wish you good drinking, that's great, but let everyone here a little fuckin break every now and then don't it doesn't need to be the big thing that it is like. Don't make it that that's why I'm on, when I do were drinking. Never gonna buy just ominous pike s good three months and never got a fucking, do it, but you out now can take, but if you can put it down and pick up like I'm the type of- in the attic that like there's, no I'm going to quit for three months and do it like a lately, I'm so hard like you seem like you. Have the fact that guys do these sober october. Things like do. You feel like you're successful, that gives you replace an addiction within diction like I'm I give this up, but I'm going to get super competitive about losing weight and being I need to beat tom and rogan like as that part of, could do it without public accountability in the fear of embarrassment or losing? I did it when we started the quarantine for, like I didn't drink for like three months and was that conscious or just gotta happen,

It was conscious, was delicate just because I've been parting really hard up until then, like really hard and those like, ok I was like. I remember, seeing a guy that was. I've talked to said this number of times. By said the god in a tour bus driver, from dc to new york, ass, a god. I need a break. I don't know what it's gonna be. If it's a tv show something. But I need like I'd this tour. If I'm doing it we plan on doing it may kill me and then next week everything was shut down and I said to myself: alright, I'm gonna party on the bus riding home and then, when I get home, we're we're on the wagon, and it's also like I I you know I think about you- know the comics. That, as part of their there, so open about their lifestyle. You know, stand hope and and arm in a towel. The longest time where their fans would start sending them shots and sending them drinks and are even when they did try to take a break. The audience was a true drew in like me, you know yet

I tell the waitresses just make sure to send me apple juice, we'll pretend it's whiskey no cause. I never know when your fans are so in vat at partying with you and they don't know that you're taking a break and you like I'll fuck. I guess I'll just do this no. I I I am sure that deliver. I don't mind that I my thing is: I genuinely enjoy partying on the road, I really enjoy it, and I dont want to stop it. I love it so I kind of try to measure it when I'm home and I'm being responsible, listen. I don't need the party I, but I've been drinking during the podcast recently, because I did what sober and I just felt fell like I wasn't, connecting or grounded Is it just quiet about? Well, now that I know more about your brain, or does it just acquired a part of your brain, the voices of like the self analytic, r, o c d, yeah there's a lot like I am not like, and I think it's because the pot, my you know I did my podcast into my man, cave

long and I was so comfortable no space and I didn't over think it and I think, when you bill studio. I gotta I got very like in my head about. Am I comfortable needs like these? Aren't that we're gonna use. We're would like none of the fund you showed up yet and I go and I keep saying I don't love this space. I don't love, the lighting isn't done yet. The cameras are in place and, and they won't be I'm glad, I'm here when the lighting isn't gonna, look like a footman crack until your lighting looks good, my looks back had on the liquidity on the but light source. Howard stern, heave like he did. Not change his studio, I mean even when they move, he kept the same size. He kept the proximity of the couch. Like he's very conscious that, like like podcasting the chemist, between gas like when you a lot of people make the

state public moving to a big six studio when they get it and then the chemistry lost. The vibe is different hard to get its hard. It's almost like. You want the the walls to get like you to take that down. What is the cultural programme? This arose for closer to work with pictures, and while they are Why didn't you go into the rebellion you're sitting coconuts right next to me. Did I remember when I went to bed is the most lord I reckon I recently this one's as me as a as a as a pirate that called pirates- are that one too Joey Diaz is dressed as a woman. No, that's fine! That's okay! There's a long tradition of comedians dressing up as women, but I remember when I went to su like a couple of years ago: wanna be fucking the only one, the only one I we never sold you fucking pigs know I was fucking a snow person, that's hilarious, and

a bit it that it was not lad, fell back in our body shaming. This is progress. It was the day me too came out an area once I came in, I wouldn't principle say like it's like blockbuster movie. It was like that week. It was like that week that attack but know this, because I did it It's a show at amazon, about an ombudsman office and hr office on a college campus and there the team was called the chiefs, I'm from DC, so the redskins I like I've grown through. All that I have like the most amazing, redskins sweatshirt that my dad gave me that mean I'm not allowed aware anymore, like so just when it most of the native americans. I've got like I'm. Ok, I got to get to know you. People. Ok, this is a native american. What is it this is met, looks like a no since a mexican ok is a mexican famous aztec warrior. but that was a big head dress. A great american had no, no! No! No! No. This is I saw. I saw this picture when I saw cancel. I saw tat. I saw picture like this.

In a mexican restaurant, I was like damn fucking bad ass dude. This is going to be cut out of context. If anyone wants to cancel me, here's your opportunity, you can just cut off the setup to this so when I did the F S, you homecoming power pow dude. It's like there's this huge says the chiefs on the back these animals come out. in headdresses. No, like I mean they're holding pay, it was wild and I god this is gonna fuck another beginning of every game. Chief abiola comes out on a horse bareback in full well indian regalia seminal and throws a burning spirited centre. The field cause. I automatically like things and the writing of our life brown on their face and lines of winter. I think, if I'm not mistaken clean, linen answer. Changing dug a bit. I reporting of not mistaken that they have floated state, has full approval of the seminal tried to do what they do to be called a seminal janet,

and to do what they do, I'm not certain abject among certain. It is because there's some rocks. He knows all over floored and so I think, a lobby site its bottom reparations had been made, and I am certain someone can do actually bert you'll know anything about this well you're, drunk in a casino once and guides old you that some Indians get like two hundred really does hours a year for the rest of her life and but nobody dared the impact down there and there is an improv down there. That's on native land am I making up wrote this of its, for lower than in the gas, and if anything was Paul, I think I don't know about. Was poor as for long fort lauderdale for sure and you go on it in its in its all native cops and people are in their party and drinking because it florida cops, it's not floor technological and away or land, so you seem to eighteen year olds, go there to kind of party, but something did learn was when I was doing. This is like that not all

The tribes have had dresses for their chiefs like it's not interest in redskins. I learned when I was working on this because now at tv networks they have like sensitivity, trainers that come in and like educate you if you're talking about a subject that you can be ignorant about so talking about the the native american thing and redskins sheet they'd be, would be anymore, gee or whatever the origin redskin, I always thought was like your sunburn and rather something she said that Actually, I was back in the day when you could get paid. If you killed native americans, you would get money right if you brought proof that you killed. native american. Like I mean the way I mean we literally americans treated lightly

that they did with the congolese and the belgium's did you. If you did it, you had yet to prove that you killed one by cutting off their hand and so what they did, because that was where the heck, how they kept account of their bullets while cause, if they wanted to make sure you were using your bullets to kill congolese and not animals. Wow. Don't get we felt that the balkans wild and that you made more money. If you killed a female cause, they could procreate or be pregnant and that you D, off the lay bia, and that was a redskin. Oh god does not if that is the etymology fuck yeah get rid of the name, do shit. I was like. Oh, I thought this was just like your tan and it was just like those of two slur about their skin color. You know, but also redneck is also not as necessarily an insult someone has west virginia ancestry, redneck conversing, is more benign than you actually think, because redskin actually refers to the.

The labour uprising at the battle of blair mountain and you would were against the coal companies and west virginia in its not that you're. Just sunburn from the others, because you were shirts now it means the red next were at war. add bandanas to show that there are part of the rebellion army to stand up for union workers in mind, so it's actually kind of a compliment. I mean it's been turned into a slur, but redneck is like, though, another does actually coming. Lions thing was read that wasn't a slur. It was hillbilly what time? What are you going get out of here as soon as I'm, when I'm being boring or it will get. Let me take a piss consider that bombing yeah please take a piss and have a drink and grab a drink and will keep going for, like thirty more minutes yeah, yeah yeah I'll be differ. It's not the one. I want to talk to you. You want the last one. No thank I can I wanna talk to you about what I do, but I'm about your podcast you've been you've been fucking killing it do you think I do. I feel, like I

Thank you. No definite! Do you. Let me know if I'm gonna get you get good, you get great gas. That's why I like that, for me, is like You know right now like they do you like to move us into I've met like I'm. I think what my main skill is now until I get as good as you guys at like talking and them definite better than me. Do I do it more than I'm better at it. Didn't you daddy, I'm a bad interviewer prison. other times. I don't. I don't go in with an agenda or a conversation talking point like I'll have like one or two like I'm like, but there are things that I would go like if, if I, run into. I go got one wanted had whitney about her new boyfriend. I want to talk about it. inox. I want to talk like there's certain things right. If I saw you that's what I want to talk to you about totally. Sometimes I have people and I don't and I I really dropped the ball but you're such a good storyteller. I think that for me, like I've, always left your podcast, I'm like african bomb that cause. I always

I think that your fans are here to sort of see how you're gonna react like it's more, jumping off pointy your stuff Where are what you know like I always feel like when you're a guest on someone else's podcast. It's not about you coming to be like. Let me show off and that's why I totally know I I first of all, I think, that's interest, like maybe listening my bike ass, their listening to yours. I just happened to be on it, so the lad. two times. I did your bike out I'll. I think our so fuckin boring, because I was there too I ask you questions to you. I love you, my boy just bite, but I think that I do somebody progress with you. comics in general, are usually like white. Do try and so white dues its end staying summit? I was going to do a podcast and it's like they don't have any interesting. They don't want to. They don't really care to be there or they don't it's like they do they don't they're like whatever

women comics for some reason. Every time I get my favour conversations or with female comics is because either to nobody. You guys. Just I don't know, I have better energy with women, like my men, woman, my my trainers, woman wife's. A woman like like I like working with one, also thinking oh and correct me if I'm wrong. I am sure you know that known you for so long and I dont know if it's, if, if I've enlist every back ass, you ve ever done but like around women. You feel more comfortable, saying I am anxious, I'm vulnerable, I get in secure. I have these oecd thoughts. Ets is that's, maybe something that you can a surly. Say too I care guy friend less. You say I can say that the Joe Joe, when I tell him I have anxiety, go you need to get to the mortgages eat. My worry we're moving, really quick, Joe yeah. I thought you were gonna, get no fucking cages. Nobody, you gonna, gives any anxiety. I guess, how do I get invited from cat so that competition you need to jobs are free to failure? Let's really, I don't need to get it, but yeah

Do you think there's for me, like, I feel, like my strength as a pike ass host is. I do create a space where people than me super emotional and vulnerable, because I admit so much My embarrassing shed that I'm a little I get stuff out of people that they would sullied met on other power guests, and I can get good guests, but I don't feel like I'm really great at talking here. Or telling stories are finishing thoughts supplanted. I think I think sometimes A lot of that is just is just earned in the ten thousand hours of like of going a much more I I was a horrible podcast host at times like bore. I have people and I did nothing about them and I just figured talk and then I realized they didn't know anything about me and then we just didn't talk and was it was like I mean So I done such uncomfortable fucking progress. but I do have one that you specifically are like through your honour by showing the civic, they re legged concealment,

the fur, is sort of like one of my first twenty five that I did and as a dude who's an improv actually is an actor and he's an improv actor. He does some stand up and I don't know, as I don't remember his name. I never didn't like, and so I just kind of was like or if it's a comic coming on and you're like. Oh, don't fucking just crush this, and then they show up they're not there to do stand up. They're like oh, no, like I thought you were just going to come. Take the wheel, which I remember, Sebastian's, gotten really good at podcasting, meaning being on podcast. First podcast with him with him. Was him and steve and be corelli, and he didn't say, biggest crash mp inquiry peak really such obsess stuck. I saw my trousers, that's the problem. He says good. Looking

last gully undue and he's got all the right move he's like the only stand up conduct that I really like wanted to date that I ever he can tell a great story. He's a fucking funny, hang so rightly losses that you losses dad too covered his recently a meal. The text at him and it's weird when people lose on what you're supposed to say but but yeah, but I'm sorry that does prove super bummer. No, it's what has been as yet but am, but does the first by guess what it was about in haiti. speak at all at all, and I was like you see him like just watching like he's a big listener, he's byways good actor.

Is that he listens and he like and he's watching or it's nice to get such a great observational comment cause he's so good. We were both renovating our houses. At the same time- and I was I had these renovation jokes, but it was, they were all horribly distasteful and, as Sebastian's like said, something that I had witnessed and he was like. I go in I'm paying these guys. You no fuckin by the hour will ever be the guy any sweeping I'll pay you to sweep guy. I got walls the need to go up. You're sweep away. He did it was so fucking following the discussed? My worst by casts so far been megan mistake of booking someone, I'm like a big fan of hooker and then fit to being too embarrassed to take big swings. Cause I didn't want them did not lightly. Fred are missing, came on,

early on and I was like for norms, a fascinating do. Dude, I'm fully obsessed with I'm a family. I didn't is how big of a fan I was so he cut a walked in and I met and we ve hung out like it was just like like I was don't be corny it'll, stupid doping, idiot and he's he's so patient. with allowing commie to happen and he's so thoughtful, but I'm so condition to laugh at everything. He does that he would say gis me like So it took me a while to get her and I believe, like I just like laughing at him just say- and I was just like odd, so annoying cause see I'll, tell you where I dropped the ball to fred armisen interview and by the way, willing freedom is in our view. This is the exception. I have it right here, so you know Jeff tweedy We were a girl, welcome. I hope we can use to follow them. I still follow that document or second, be funny. Someone was saying earlier: Jeff trees, a big colony, big comedy fan, go not my style. My style to follow I'm not on instagram or twitter I'll go see, them live all the time, I've seen level

there were no, what you ve won concert left for the rest. Your life I got mine already know. I don't need one concert and left they can come out of retirement. One life, don't waste a I'm going to tell you who I don't want to see: okay, udonis, the bruce Springsteen I've seen him and I just realized I'm not that I'm not a big fan to enjoy him. You gotta be a legitimate jersey through winter. Yes, europe, you just lost all your jersey famous, and I saw him on broadway that show that he did, and I was like. I just took my best friend, dory from new jersey, she's upset If the bisping student got her tickets took her, I was like I'm a fan when I hear born to run, like all sing, a lot like you when you hear insurance on you can help would be little shit fuck, but I was like I wouldn't have gone if I wasn't taking her, but I went and he told stories in between to set up

song and was too talking about you, know soldiers and war and vets, and, like I chaired up a couple times is an amazing, I watched him in allay well down by you see whatever that is that place you can watch shows that there was a theater I want you to me like a stadium, I think maybe, but, and so I want saviours no I really remember, and the here's question can I take the set So you're saying I get like this and I will go yes like your answer. Is you it's? It's not doing it for in honour of birds, and he it's to pick the song list, he gets to pick the venue so also. I want to know what venue you'd pick I mean if it's not red, rocks or psycho, but you get to pick. The venue picked the act hit the settlers yeah you're, not gonna, madonna, show up and play like ray of wider whenever I bet you're playing bold shook lang matured in general, but

why does I was? I was so dialed in on three bands: jaynes dixon pearl jam and render chile pepper cities. You said Madame, I said I I am one of the that when the vessels I've ever been to spears one of the glasses, you ever been in love is registered in Tampa, oh yeah, of course, but work as well as you had to beg us. I think she was already like british, there's amazing and then you said mcdonald's like I would love to see madonna, never seen no way I saw going. I wouldn't like may not twenty lady gaga would be an amazing live show yes, but you can. I just feel it there's enough stuff on the internet just to check the boxes of getting entertained by gaga taylor? Swift, that's mine, I'm gonna go tell us with my daughter, but ok, your daughters and take your daughter's out. It's you

and though I still up there but yeah, I hate to say it. I'm a big taylor, swift fans, you alone, taylor, swift for sure that was finally private though I would, it would probably be Jane's addiction, Jane's addiction. I picked this up. list and the and I'm going to I'm going to make them safe place. A couple of porter papyrus songs move, and I was all I would love to see when I tell the members, but I would go all the uplift party mo, foe, like all those areas I want to hear a lot of their early stuff, yep and mine. I'm gonna use, saying pearl jam, just fucked me, but it'd have to be the ten album. I'd have to hear every song on ten. We just listen. You'd have to open with black and end with black. jeremy spoken. I need like a twenty minute rendition of that year. Eddie eddie vetture is might be only

The only person that I think ice actually did kind of cry. When I met citizen cope, that's kind of I dunno a lot of money. Well, yes, but I I was listening to citizen cope on a loop during a really rough time and I ran into him in hollywood and I just ran up to him and started like hysterically crying and he was like please get away from me, but that fucked me up, but Lauren hill, I saw a couple years ago, she'd be my number one but, like I didn't even think of good here's, the problem. is that, like lorn hell, I know I'd be like tribe com class reunion like like lot, but Lauren hill in person and I entered I understand that wanting to play songs, you played five thousand times, but she played a lot of the hits in like a four way, so no one can really sing along and we everyone was kind of like you now outcome would be pretty folk of amusing. I don't even do that. I mean amazing. I went right to rock band, I didn't think of any hip. I did too I've. Always I've never gone to a hip concert added to a really never

it'll have you will not survive. Probably though I was performing at that concert is not a hip conjured up, I'm performing stand, right because, as I do want to establish a moment like I saw at a charity, benefit honestly long, alarmist more set without saying with joy. The drummer from providers. Taylor of suitable fighters are you I mean less. It's all in the podcast. The Beth he was. My guy is my second guest apr c. I would have saved him to like guest thirty know cause. Then I put them as my second and that's how I got get such a model? For me it was like. Ok, I needed more. I wasn't businessperson music. I need a front load. The podcast, with big big names. Also people that I trust that I'm not going be nervous around. So damn levy from shits craig was number one day. Dave was number two like people that I knew would like

not be shitty or maybe I'll go to her out grow, kills it in every every is through the best person on every level. I think I think definitely foo fighters shows are so they give so much they go for so long. They give you so much more than your moneys are definitely shit. The bed when I met Dave grohl, I I'm sure that's true, certainly did what happened performing at the same gig. You did. Oh now, the policies are a poster. I should the bed with Elton John Hugh he's, who is, he is therefore fighters who came out the but hands were the ones in what is a big thing. This is an award for by the way you guys for, like the whole time wearing industry. I don't really understand what it was, but it's actually such an important audience all they do is see great comedy and great music and then-

We come out and we're like hey boo like he was my thing was the bar was still open. No one was seated and it was all one room and they wanted me to go out, but I shit the bed before I even got on stage Dave Grohl had like a broken arm he's had like nine get, he breaks, it fall the fucking broken ankle. He broke his like onstage. When they wrapped it, and he came back and finished said your chair. He brought his broken his foot or arm as long as I'm, but a failure by three times right now, and so I am back I'm in the green room, because I'm hosting should we call and see if lantern, I couldn't see him once he will answer god yeah. Let me see I mean, must might that as far for disease.

We want. He will. I hope you don't remember now thought I kept saying that pets, pap pats mere was gay and you can see dave trying to cut me off. Like he's not game. what this guy see they are going to debate the subject. I was in their green room, drinking their beers. Can I tell you oh yeah down he's like I run answering you fucking loser open, hey, No, I didn't call you a loser. I called bird gracious loser who you met. he's telling me on his biogas about how he should the bed when he met you and embarrassed the whole store. I did pull star like three years ago. I was the host sure guy, even where it sure is oh no, I'm losing everywhere, but sure now, where's the sheriff I made a joke about. I made it known to buy arms even greater mercer. I made a joke about you, breaking your foot or something and you go

and ass. I was grow. Isn't gonna broken foot edwin blank? You came back stairs and you just very cows ago. I drink a lot on stage get up. I'm sorry man, I'm sorry. Yeah it was it was, but the best part is I got take me with you guys. I posted on Israel and everyone thought you came to my show and I was like well yeah. The whole band came to my show. That's exactly what's funny about that show. So that was the coastguard thing right. Yeah polls are what are the pollstar awards. I mean you're, not in the pantheon of like award ceremony kind of things yeah the poster. What

it's like it's called the roadie awards in a way yes, and so our tour manager, gus who's, been our tour manager for almost thirty years twenty five years he was being nominated for tour manager of the year. So we thought we would go surprise him and support him, though he'd won that he'd won that award before and the first time he wanted. He said we were on tour and he goes oh hey just so you guys know I I I I got to and after the year end, and we ought. The person we said were like nobody sent us a fucking power. We thought we'd be nice and surprise them at this thing and I'll tell you more than any other word semi had ever been to light. These were the oscars ireland, that poles are wars, that is the funniest award ceremony of them all yeah, the number one most of one, because sharing for like venue,

yeah enlightenment transfer department there, like best best best, fifteen thousand capacity club hammer jack in baltimore and your like earlier in Everybody shows up. I hosted this year and and John was got. Came at the end and was like thank you to the transpo you're, the people that make this all possible like it's. The award show where, like the talent, is actually in awe of the cause you're like you're, the one that and does the lighting the staple set our do you're a genius there, so outward form sooner again. Man has your cloud, but what I recognize him with a sure. Well, it's could see men We're talking about you and we're talking about We want to see our time. Conscious of this is going on. Ok, you had one concert

the rest of your life. You had one concert. One last concert later you you got to pick the ban in a new settlers and you got to pick the set lest. He said Jane the direction on away. I had a short list, but all my list were rock bans that I grew up on. You can't bring anyone back in the day so obviously that wins out of the list. I said: foo fighters will be a fucking by its big settlers. I said how you play I had I buy it and what I said. Ok, If I want to get out It's between red, hot chili, peppers, pearl jam and jane's addiction, and I just Jane's addiction, I'd be in belper, dot went talking about three days how that was like the greatest song we've ever heard, so I went with Jane's addiction. Your band members are alive, people can be dead cause. I'm busy boys, let let's whispered to leg, I feel like we can be a little flexible. No, no! No! No!

It will never be a livelihood. Everyone's gonna be like I mean I'd, have to say. If I get to one more concert, I could write that was needed to hear your settlers and we have to be adapted and show because, like I have dealt with tattoos- and I am sure I got to see them when they did the reunion thing like fourteen years ago or whenever it was like twelve or thirteen years ago, and that was that it was such a huge moment. But if I was able to like write a set list, I would have probably it'd have to be a zeppelin show, day. I paid the wallflowers so because I want to see raw me in the different elements? whereby snoop abroad, sniffer dogs, tweeted put on his grammy said best opening words to a song, and I didn't Eliza snoop, I didn't realize it should be hip hop. I wrote in the day is of my youth. I was told what it was.

To be a man and I and everyone was like what the fuck is- that those like a game No, your audience your idea. Are you got that right? chiles were no. This is birds house scissors. I bet on wait, wait studio. I just build a new studio in my in my new house. Are such a fucking narcissist? He got to burn burn like our rodney dangerfield. You know he got famous and successful, so wait. Jesus yeah it's working for now dave open, invite open, invite I'll, give you the best brisket you've ever had in your entire life. I know you're a bar, guy. I will make you the best. brisket, you there on your entire life podcast. Oh beers and an island and then- and I won't be bother, I won't Well, can I've got I've, got you? Have the green egg of gunnar? I've got a green

I've got a new just getting a new girl and I got erect tech, which is a pellet smoker Why do we travel with the smoke hold on hold on me? Look at look at his body. He barbecues the lions green, a green egg, brisket next level, wag eu fuckin. We take a smoker with the on tour and my tour bus and we smoke before this, We tailgate smoke a meet every where we go. Okay, I mean that good done. Amateur reach out, have any open up this, I'm going. I get it, I'm a movie for three months: I why your name drop a little bit right is discussing grass anyway, but when I get back from shooting my movie I'll hit you as don't give him my number big time trying to make time David cook mexican food. I am

so sorry about this. So sorry, I love you. Sorry, I love you. I love you, don't fucking fizzled out, so you do but the way I did I did the book it spread over the last two years. The foresees that he's got them. Bit about those years in russia is not a final that was almost as bad as you and I m thinking. I have no ability to talk the famous b, if you said Adam sandler, I loved you and happy madison was like what production company, not the movie or movie, is happy madison. They were like he was like ok, dude cool soon, as I said, fucking pellet smoker. I could see it in his eyes. I was like. Does a bullet I don't get it he's a larger barbecue.

we barbecues for hundreds of local bbq for like a harley davidson rally, a barbecue for like two hundred the way my briskets suck. I gotta get Dave williamson up your brisket flip it out on my grill, real quick. What do you think of this? Thank god. What have you got yourself into an interesting fucking, human being the best he's the best he was. He was very cool. I'm trying to say that I did show did he's. Also one of the funding is people. I know he's pretty funny. Despondingly frustrating he's had an interesting career man, I don't think anyone saw the foo fighters being what it was. You know when they first started with that mentos video video and so I'm looking for a text that he thought was that he made that was so fucking texted. He sent me that was so fucking funny

but the mentos video did. You also see fresh pots. He has a youtube video where him and the band are all just they're obsessed with fresh pots of coffee and they're, just like fresh pods, it's so weirdly funny. He did that they did. The first learning to fly, I think, was the first video. They did right Holston. What I- and I think everyone heard it all around in when I was in college or right after college when, when he started that we heard It- and we were. like oz, the drama from nirvana and then all of a sudden man, that's shifted so fuckin quickly or like goddammit. He arguably could win the most talented person both of his fucking bands. Yeah, I mean now it's hard to say about Kurt. You don't remember when speak ill of the dead, Kurt Cobain obviously was a genius, but to know that he had Dave grohl to bounce fucking songs off of that's. When you go, that's right, Ronald was so good do, but the way they the way they branded that band by the way. This is all gonna lose him as a guest. On my show he's going to be like

well you fucking talking about never had them, but I almost had them. I almost added I'm gonna fucking reach out. He would fucking, do it cold beers. Are you fucking kidding me it would do anyway and they branded Kurt Cobain as the genius and everyone else was their side players and in it's interesting. I think about that. A lot. The branding of certain things where this is your hero. This will be it's a lot of what, when you talk about- and I hope this comes off clear and not obnoxious, but when you talk about institutional racism, it's a lot of fuckin things or set up sometimes is the quarterback is the the worker? I bet it area that that, because it like the concussion stop. If Tom Brady broke his neck on the field, the eta was shut down so tat. If he got a fucking concussion or if, in twenty years he blows his brains out leaving a letter. Please study my brain for science like you're. Everything would shut down like now that it's only

The african american players that we're getting like everybody knows about grows more than one guy tell you that I love that you face time them, I'm all about a fuckin face time. I'll, do a lot of things tat you, love affair had to make I spike iceland watching they see this permit face time Tom and see the answers he hates her face time. You think so. Dial for me to face them him, unlike some very good friends with foreseen to face time, her husband is odd. Sure tits done today, first of all, first of all you would never fucking answer. Is I thought this was Second, the prey call or something technically is like whitney, doesn't

Well, the taxes I mean I didn't. I was like something's wrong was attached to you. You never fucking text me back. I have to put Christine on such a liar you're such a liar. She just face times out of nowhere Dave grohl, and he answered these times a new moved on to it's aggressive. He'll do their job properly, how they get a horse somewhere. You'll be a horse. I gotta, get out of restaurant malibu, there's gotta giraffe that needs moving. It's a comedian calls me it means either another comedian committed suicide or their podcasting this was a real serious emergencies workin out. What are you doing with that? What are you doing? what're you doing in the dim dad left now. Actually, I'm just going to cartier. Do you have begun the hydro? We gotta get your

it's a rowing machine. That's like walked through it and it doesn't have a big. Now, it's an electronic rowing machines. Have you worked out one of those attacks? No, I thought is that the mirror that today s anyone it will you work with other people, and it shows you, sport and get on issues like those that has been struck dislike her life was like our topic is the tables. shit body work due to the high joe. We I mean I'm, so you could just get it if you tell them or something, but it's like a fucking game change. Like my? Oh, my back in my arms. do I look you up really handsome actual. He's. Always I've always thought that you're a very handsome. I mean you never said it not handsome enough to be married to christina, but you are handsome the boy, the richer you ve got the more handsome. I've got really help. Thank you. Thank you with it yeah. You re all right. You forget this albert youtube, her oh yeah. She

no this evening some attractive. There's that what's attractive about. Is how much you love your father's flitting about you is that you have heard of deserves argued about her. Yes, you're, not very attractive. whereas turn off the gas, again on it. The moment I didn't think about you is that celebrate too, that you can see the light when you laugh really hard cause, I'm like okay, I guess I could always just like pulled out of reading I like to be anyway. Thank you. Well, I feel, like people started, to think that I have like a drug problem, because my hair is blue, just my general personality, so I am trying to kind of covered up, so I can fix it. I like the blue Thank you. I go work out. You Elijah, we love you Why does she talk about her boobs? No, no, no they're doing it for

that I think is already aired, but they're they're going into a buttered their item make up. You know my little nasa debts you are doing. They are going there, making them huge honor I polish my static and then tattoos all over her throat and oh, I thought you meant they were going to do. She was getting a boob left or something no reduction or something her tits get bigger every time I deserve. Do there Y all but her, but she Body is like it feels it feels like she's built, for in a manner which I think I'm the women I know that have kids like that have had to get reductions because their backs were so. I remember the first time I heard about women getting a tit reduction and I thought it was. I didn't think he was a real thing. I thought it was a joke and I laughed hysterically I tell you the person was: you may want to added an editor name out, because I am sure it said this on other podcast. I love her yeah. She that we were in a condo talking and she said yeah I had died.

get a boob reduction and I started laughing so hard. I was like oh right, who gets that and she was like. I did and I was like no okay, you're good, you're good she's bunny, guys you're right and they were like signal. I did bag resorting to all your bag. Regarding she's, ok, the jogger jog capability to keep doing it? chelsea, lynn, the commune Chelsea land. She came on my podcast and was assignment how her tits or so far In pendulous in huge that that they would get bruce, when she would run even with a sports broad when she would play sports and it was like a night ban and you're like white, gets why it's a real thing, I don't know, probably by dick riding bikes. What that seems like a very I dont know how any guy has ever written by could so I mean there's residents, I'm sure has one technical be honest or something else going on there here, then, is it a coincidence? We spent his whole fucking life on a bike bike seat. Nor nor do the coincidence is that he did still its

pretty soon. I was the I'm not married. I've never been mad at him, we're been mad at him, because everybody cheats he was just the best at cheating and everyone was cheating in that business. Shooting he just wanted to be the best at cheating he shouldn't have I'm back for more. That's all! That's that's what it was cancer. You'll still was better than everybody and he'd should adjust dunned undone and that last runny did. Does library laughing I wanna took over here, you gotta, go check your ego and allows lounging getting that here's. My thing is my thing: the television tools like I've gotten so good at making. tb, knowing how it's done and now only quitting it. Then we can have this fuckin information like what do I do with it like he's the best bikers world and he's gonna sound the bachelor, I guess, but my whole life getting growth does not like you're only options, are related coach or to do endorsements, Don't think you can even do that. I think he's really blacklisted from the industry entirely. It is a bizarre whatever age- I you know- I don't. I would.

would have brought like. I would have problems if I was a competitor. You know what it's not a team sport. The people at fucking compete in that aren't team players, nobody forced everyone as a team to all his steroids, so he can be, but I look at it by the way. Let me stop right there. This is what I'm trying to do the same series as him and still sucks. What's your excuse, he forced me to do steroids and I still couldn't like. I think that one of the guys, I you know, I think, wouldn't you talk about the the power structure look out. There was a big people talk about his like you can't power structure, people. I don't I'm not certain. I'm not gonna use your power yeah and I think that's what he wanted you to. When he's trying to help you get a gold medal, but the the that one of the guys was like he was brutal to work with so every winter is illegal and that everyone who is at the top of their field has the savage I mean they say that I'm, what is it? Thirty percent of all people in the top one percent of their field or either cycle

for socio bass? It makes no sense to arrange that I've seen so com. So you just arthur lunatics and your like you again, about what a day. That's what makes them great it vacationing and enjoying the life returning back into reality for you like they are for me, because all I do is think about vacationing. I have a trip to tahiti that I'm planning with a friend and we just keep texting. I have a group of friends and that a group of guy friends who are doing the guys trip with I'm actually I can. I cannot wait to travel. I cannot wait, I'm being serious, don't let financial concerns It's about set you back from saying. Yes, credit karma helps you keep your financial goals in check, so you don't have to hit pause on having a good time credit karma's game. Changing technology shows, you tell it offers for credit cards and personal loans, but you are more likely to be approved. Force can start

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I see, offers on the credit karma app apply with confidence today, go to credit, karma dot, com, slash podcast or the credit karma app. Do you know that eighty five percent of the who played daily fantasy sports lose. I do know that personally. Is it really that surprising? No, it wasn't that surprising. The game is rigged against you. So that's why I've and lose you're playing of thousands of other lineups, not to mention experts who have more tool tools and, more time you don't stand a chance well, stop right. There introduced. stay here are the first ever daily fantasy sports book. That puts the players in control in winning within reach. Here's how works start here. shows you the lineup and dares you to beat them. It's? U burst the house in head to head vanity match up. You name your stakes, winner, takes all you have the advantage. start here, always showing knew their lineups ahead of time. No one else does that. No one else does that

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to the air there on believable and there's one shall watching his there's one storyline with gabby butler, whose like sword, the most famous china later she got a brand and the thing is that huge on youtube and she's all these girls. He arose and She heard dad like rides. It's hard, it's like let's go, we've got to fucking. Do this, we gotta do this and it runs like shit he's pushing her too hard and it's like dude. No, that's what it. If that's, what hey, stab dad, whose so pouring you and if team wasn't doing that. They'd go! Oh he's a deadbeat! Dad like dads can't win. I I I've said to my daughters over and over. If you want to be great, you gotta put yourself in uncomfortable situations, and that is not the mentality you should like. The third place is okay with us, we don't care like that's not going to get a winner. It's like it's not and by the way you don't not every in mma. It took me a while to learn this, but not every kid needs to be an all star, not every kid's going to be an ass. Now let me give you an example, and if they want to be number one than you gotta, then you ve gotta gives us

Nobody dies I I don't know that anyone gave me that nudge to get into santa, but I had it. I wanted to be good at it. When I was, I was passionate about it. That's it we're talking about your boyfriend that he in his area is out of place. and let's call him a lover. Lover yeah. Your lover, I think I might propose to him- is that Christ I just heard who oh wholesome just did that wholesome. Check repurposed to him. Whoa here. Did he got she got you a re. Sorry, I called her and called her. He She just turn into a game, but did she how'd you do it ended. She give your ring. I love her was to a wait. How long you together while we're ok, were you we're going to propose to her. I have every heirloom ring demographic did she know you were ready rings. Grandma gave him, she did not know

What I mean by the way, by the way- and I will send us- and I think possible- definitely agree. She is way out of it league, was all a turtle. I guess she's she's out of your league, so but was it at all a turn offer emasculating for oceans very emasculated but a lantern dies. There are things like this? Is my thing proposing, wouldn't lovely and propose the me, but then, but you already had a family. My here's, my thing, my thing is: if I propose to you first of all, what do I get you? I now You can your ring. I thought I had you like a watch her like a sword or something yoda machete, but then I was like now most tunnel come on, there's something about it where I'm like. I don't know we get him and I don't want him to feel like. Oh now, you have to buy me an expensive ring and I gave you I proposed. You know what I'm saying I feel like. I have to provide the ring for myself. of two to, if no no, no, no, you don't have to do that. Ok, you devolution! After that, I do it's funny. I don't

talking to Liam one time when we talk about gender roles and whatnot suddenly, at one time, and I said, and I'm never going to have sex with another person other than you for the rest of my life issues like I go to that, give you panic and she goes now. I don't want to care to fuck anyone else and I went really shoes yea. She is what really gives me panic as I'll. Never get another first kiss. and I went ooh who likes bows and she was like. Oh my god, they're awesome. I think a week. What are you talking about? She was like going out on a date. Don't like? Is he going to kiss me? Is he going to try to kiss me? Nor do I want him to kiss me. Do I not wanting to kiss me- and I said I hate it. I hate that energy hate tabled like I go, isn't gonna hurt like that uncas? You know one of the things I ve not.

I dont mean liked consent way, but it like, I don't ever want to try to kill someone that I dont think once benches aids, everything's rape. So it's a nightmare. Everything do this guy that I'm dating starting one result. Everything is, I can I can I can I take a few per annum. Like I don't know, can you better What are engaged different now that a line of coke and fuck me I'm thirty, eight years old, like sex with me, you need to bring me to the brink of death and back like that's what you know, and so there those days are over. I mean maybe at least like where we live, the idea of just someone grabbing you and kissing. You were like the the most embarrassed. fucking moment of my life in this. That says a lot because I've embarrassed myself. Quite a lot was one time I went out a date with this male model by the way and if we work together on something and- and he asked me out- and I was like- oh I guess- I'm like whatever, like I'm gonna, go out with a male all we want to dinner? He comes back. Second date. He comes back to my house were shit faced at

house like there's, no way we're not making there's no way and on some physical things, economic drove to my house over the hill. Well, which in l, a drive in the valley. That's a big to drive to the valley to not get your dig a little wet. He comes over we're standing at the door, doing the little thing where we're kind of just like pitt and then- and finally, he just looks at me and goes alright. Dude oil. I put this end up and we do like us hence our like! and I was sitting there like you know, out of the bathroom, unlike had always put all those governed, my mouth like so embarrassing. It's interesting, I my never been more in the oral hygiene. The one single hell yeah- I was, I can be ready on time- are now losing teeth or they could get. God for the masks, honestly, that I did like that about the masks like fuckin leanne got. I realize how bad my breath was or what I've put on him

ask him in like what the fuck is. India piss on this thing and then I'm like me, that's a plug in bali aveeno and I think we all got to like have a mirror held up to how fucking disgusting everything in my beard smells like balls, some play with my balls and touch my beard just that mass smelled so smell so bad, I might be done wearing them. I mean. What's your plan, you did you haven't, What could it no never got it? Well, that is a fucking amazing. Never got it. I'm never got it. I did rogan I'm I don't know this was real or not by the romans. Vitamin still do everyday running by the ancient and a clear set ten or whatever. The right course to turn were set em up and six hundred things of vitamin d did I, got it when my immune system was trashed, I was I think of it. I think a lot of men look out once again that this, what I'm trying to stop and myself, if I just make these fucking balls statement No information whatsoever- and I go

I go that would drive me nuts when others nepal, to go you're, fucking idiot. Why you talking and then I go and here I am going. There is a deal with carbon I'm pretty certain like I'm trying to make more. All you can do is say your experience where you're not saying you're a doctor, you're not saying do what I do and do what I say everyone, this garden, that I've heard of getting it. It was always when their immune system was like super low. That's happened immediate. I was like I want you, so I was having people over was testing. We were doing distance wording out. I was hang out with friends outside the sun, because the sun kills it. We were doing six feet. Like I had friends over with our kids, I put a little does. looked funny, it's fought by you, but it was all so we were testing here's mile I couldn't. I don't fuck with. I really don't fuck with the all left, which is like. We believe in science, but then all of a sudden, we don't just because we're so invested in being right that we're going to start questioning science also. So it's like, like I, was doing the testing right, so everyone was like I was than three million people have been diagnosed with, go bad, it's ok, great, and then we do that lasting and they go

and go we're all negative. We're going. All hang out if you're, all negative. Why can't you hang out makes no sense that you Can'T- and then I want to be able to test one hundred percent accurate, unlike what you think they're accurate when their positive, but not when their negative, like you're, just looking to be mad at me, like I'm comics, funding, I make a lot of organ comics came out me no way janet chosen your backyard school. It's ten of us. We all tests a negative and we're all use different microphones some of us any music, But I am we're masks so you're, the one that says, wear masks tusks test work. What now I should now, I'm all down to cute, I'm all right now in kyoto because now I get those it's a hoax. Like I'm doing everything right at me. you didn't like me before, and you just found something you'd give waited not like you waited for me to fuck and slip up so that you can come from me good for I mean a sneaky thing to thing to do where you go like what what are what are you doing, but I have a moment home. She got covered a nursing homes,

Thirdly, I like I know I get a you know, but just the idea for all of us isolation for people who are married and they don't have kids like isolate. can be worse for convenience in anything. You know like eisele, a budget for consumers. comedians ellison. Can't you stand up and can't make money you're now announcing. They can you can see their friends and have like some kind of hope for the future. like that. Were suicide rates were going through the roof. You think about it. I think about sometimes the hate that brody interacted with online like he would interact with really real

massive toxicity were young and he wasn't and obviously he killed himself. I don't think it's a surprise. Anyone he wasn't mentally stable, but when he'd go off on his tangents, you get a phone call from him. It'll be like. I have a list of people you need to block. Can you block them for me cause they follow you and I'm going to fight with them, they're being really horrible to me and then you're, just like okay and then you're just blocking people, because he it. But when we lived, we lived right and not right next door to each other, but close enough. I saw just about the today and could we share the same starbucks and- and I think about that toxicity and I go, and it goes back to us. said earlier. I go. I don't need to. I don't need to I'm sharing a lot, and maybe I don't need to share a lotta look at like Daniel taught and very jealous that he's never told us anything. You know, look it. I look it someone like come.

but here is what I say I got that idea. Argue this to you guys will make us like that changes. America and there's a, but I think like just like, is very clear about no wing like www targets on my part, ass, which I'm shocked that china Madame my my I dont like, I think, he's pretty conscious of going. You know he goes like this. there. What I do is it's: it's not a character, but it's It's the more you know about me and if you see me like snuggling with my dog, like you see that I'm actually it'll do you know about feels at feels more like an act. If you know too, much about me and if I am to do MR by the same way, the more we know about actors- personal lives, the less that we think there should hear actors louder. These actors my blunt and carey mulligan and all these people like they're, obviously brilliant, but it's also like. I don't know that much about your personally. We started thinking and Ben Affleck was a shitty actor when he started dating jennifer lopez, and we knew too much about him so that when we saw him on screen playing a role, we were like. Well, no you're, not you know

perhaps lincoln you're fuckin, dating genova lopez. You know soon so that that is in should sit back in the day. Johnny depp did not Resolute and that's part of it I do know the caprio. They know that the more they talk the less believable will be when they act, the less you can suspect your disbelief and just go: oh you're, fucking, jack, sparrow or whoever leonardo howard hughes or whatever. They know that part of the reason they're so good is because you don't know that much about the seriously Daniel tosh never wanted, and he said to me and I I said he said you share a lot on stage and I was like well yeah. That's why I'm an overshare. I don't want them to know anything about me, and I remember going like I remember thinking. I just think those days are over like I just. I think that we're at a place where you know Oh, it's it's! It's! People want to connect like hollywood is bullshit people are connecting the way they use to two two movies into television. revealed that half of the actors are fuckin rapists and shit like I think that comedians coming out

talk being vulnerable and open, like I'm too vulnerable now, I know eagle eye over share. Do trust me. I was gonna get started. Looking him. I was crazy, though, is like, but do you're, also leg. Part of the reason people are so connected. Doing will stay with you and stick with you and there's a lot Realty is because they know do not bert got anxiety and he helped me look at my own anxiety, especially as a man talking about the shit you talk about. I don't think you realize how actually progress so, it is and how he it probably is for a lot of people. I mean I'm into a supper room, so I hear men talk about their feelings, a lot and there like dude. I can citizen meetings and if I said anywhere else? I a punch in the face, like you say, I am anxious, I'm scared, I'm nervous. I have oecd. Like I d, I think, because you ve been doing this, for so you don't realize how rare that is and how healing it is for most people don't get to talk like that. It's like davido forever. in a world data dude and- and you know that you know how you,

someone and then you see them and they disappoint. You, David to I rewatched, watches roadwork special the other day, just just because you one of my lines I've ever heard ever is you The kind of woman that has a diet, coke and and and whiskey. An yells. The end word at a lunar eclipse Yes, I advise me fucking nuts, I don't have a joke, elevated to the car, in store. The everyone was doing lime, scooter jokes. You know like the little lime scooters that are everywhere, the bird scooters, those little scooters over. Everyone had a fucking bird scooter, joke and I'd heard it all and he came out and saw the bird scooters and you're like up here. We go had most original take on the most original jokes everyone. When people watch him like comics, we were in the back and robs all like you. The laugh anymore you're, just like mother fucker every time it drives mean what I love about. A tellers Yeager

big, big jokes and then I talked about this big days. Moms is in a I think, wherever she they moved her wherever she was taking care of her and big diego's, can't tell you what I love about ITALY or what negroes I think they moved his mom to where I live. I said why he goes while I'm watching him on stage and all his references All the things he's talking about are things I see on my drive home, like the other day, was like getting a hand job in a bowling alley. Next to watch him wiggle it. You know the way they will find the little small nuance of the joke and incorporate it, and I think I I think, because I'm a fan of patel's, I always want to have the reference. That is a tablet of scared but actual factual, where you can slide it inside an amber was I was. This gets really the post talking to patton oswald about how he would come up with ref out. Patents got a beautiful way of writing

women remember are my two favorite like the way they write is very very nuanced and patents said you know it's interesting. I would read the top ten sports articles of the year sports writers guys won this top ten sports writers word. I would read their articles and- and I would cop and I'm paraphrasing obviously I'd cop a lot of their their techniques. Of how they'd phrase things and burr was saying the same thing: yeah like those sportswriters man, I love sports analogies. I love the waste words can describe things, and I love my exports music new announcers, I'm doing it poorly, not not announcers writers, sports writers, guys read an article about a baseball game. gotta gotta, go and so, and what I love is a tells small thing that isn't the joke. It's the thing that he throws way sometimes like us. They got you like my he's moved on

by the time you're laughing he's on the next on the next thing. You know you should man. I remember that joke whenever he had nine different inside baseball references for May I just need a hooker anywhere amazon's gone, it's like you and I was look for the small nuance thing and the way I get them is by reading a book or listening to a book or finding a podcast. That is different than what is in my thing and this one goddamn book purrs like a Gatorade fuckin fly boys. It's fucking amazing fly boys. The first I'll tell you right now, I'll be honest with you. The first chapter is the best chapter. I've ever read in any book ever in my entire life and it it stays like that for a couple and then it kind of tails off towards the animal fibers. It's all about george,

w bush him and all his buddies being pilots in world war, two wow there's a movie based on it to know they're lying to me. I swear to god. Finally, don't know about looks like james franco. Maybe it was after he got kind of canceled before the united state and just what were once of american youth volunteer for the french military. Subsequently, they become the first us fighter, pilots from squadron known as lafayette as quadrille. Is that right, or maybe it's just the same name, the same look with James franco, no ship? No, that looks I mean it looks like james, franco and then these people. oh no! No! No! I didn't! I couldn't put faces to them. Why couldn't have been george bush if it was ninth at that in the bush george, but george bush sr, not the but one always senior nero, says what more one. So maybe this was wrong here for you I m it's one of the best books, but but bird was, I can read it for me.

it and then the one take. What you have is like the atrocities that were committed. I mean just to pan and generals really fascinating place, but the atrocities that happened- to this the book yeah by james bradley so good and the atrocities happened to the japanese soldiers in boot camp where or riffing, and then the amount of almost forgiveness, empathy that was given by the trickle down EM empathy was just not there and, and then the one takeaway is just I mean horrible- is that they were her and why I said this nine different times when I'm trying to think of the right way to say they were cutting meat off, of these the prisoners off their back cause. They don't want to spoil while they were alive while they were alive and then they're, throwing them back in a hole, and then this guy was like fuck am dying and then they're like bring them up. Let's cut his arm off. Leave that tonight

and it had have been because they didn't have fallen, ending ample. The japanese, the japanese military was so poorly run at the time it was such a fuss, shit yeah sure I have also listened to podcast. Is that that chick that this incident, the sea I see it- I see each eye gee. I hadn t j g g g g g minutes without accorded lay nineteen. Forty four japanese soldiers killed eight american airmen that one and consumed forbear men yeah it and so, and so you know you you you as a comedian, you broad strike stroke those facts and then all of a sudden, I'm like hey man, can you take out the hundredth time I want any capture was future. You as president george w bush, that a twenty year old pilot, how it's fucking, all she's on her. Do the other george bush being a painter. Now

or the fact that he or the texas rangers you've seen his paintings no, but I would buy her way towards sports commission one from I'm kind of obsessed with buying one just so when people come over, they just see that picture. Said my was obsessed with us obsessed with two there so cute he paints like dogs and in and people on, george w, pay hearing is so art I mean these harder to become a great painter, a great media. Look at his body. He paints like poodles in stars. Oh my god! it's so weird he's, like Winston churchill, he was like what the the president, when the fucking twin towers, went down and was like fuck this I'm going to be a painter like president. That's my god, I'm not great I'd, get whether I am so sorry you're, the washing the biogas george w bush do say it's got like he paints likely this new batch of other disturbing paintings. Where he's paying dogs bark at guantanamo bay victims, thus aerial imprisoned,

real. I think it s like on the internet must be re our way. He is painting dogs barking at guantanamo both due to value I've done everything you fuckin. No one really talk about a guess. He's a former president, no one's like disrespecting, he painted his politics and usually him naked. His shower these cabin. this means are we all he's been paid, a wall, and these are mexicans on ones. I? U S, war that rents and he's urgently of us should know thing to tell him the painting second Assad. There's like I don't think he's listen to any of that money. Yeah. Who knows look at this. He had like an exhibition of his dogs, paintings yeah. I love what people do after they're so successful and they think that they can accomplish anything like when Michael Jordan. became like a baseball, couch layer, baseball player or whatever, but it was a cut. We use the coach of the wizards of said the moment. You do so game. Changer, you of husband,

Again, it is fully gonna like start like an carving knives like I'd, feel it when you get so successful. Something you get bored and elect, puts a thing. It's gonna be new, you know yeah, I wonder with Joe. I mean I think, he's done that in a different, a few different ways. I think right now he's just trying to take over austin yeah. I think right now he's trying to mini club and stuff are everything everything he's doing right now? What's new, when you get so good at something, when you become the top top so good at podcast, then you want to go. I want to start something I suck at. I say this because he's my friend I also don't say this because he is the biggest podcast in the world. I say this as a fan: yeah he's he's so good at podcasting, as a guy who does I do probably as many podcasts as he does a week. I do three a week. Yeah, I mean not just this one, but obviously two bears one cave bill bert. It is so difficult to come up with stuff to talk about.

on a daily basis. That is important, nor instinct. More important to have a fearlessness to go. Look I'm going to talk about the saying that no one else, I also that the subjects that he can cover are so much more voluminous than ours began, as he has a fearlessness. If you said bert, you get a free get out of jail card like you can have one one night stand right now or never go. Who is that? Oh, I have like. I have a list and it starts with Janeane garafalo and goes to like virtual I run through all the female comics I think, are beautiful, but all older than me right, Janeane Garofalo, not only is so fucking hot. I do gravity bites so hot, but share the funny joke. I saw her like someone like six years ago something issues again, because I just love, stole my notebook full of jokes. So

If you see anyone bombing in Saint louis, can you let me know what makes you so self dapper gauge means do we did we did montreal together at all I met. I met her now, I'm a big it needs not right at is la. I love you. Jimmy raffle was a legit movie star, oh yeah, she was a movie star think I think what happened with her was before it was cool to be political. Its level before was quite forgot about that everyone's now I did it for the right reasons. She didn't like not trying to get famous adamant. That's why she was actually outrage. She wasn't doing it for the like she. Actually she was virtue signaling when no one knew what virtue signal was, but she was doing it to help people yeah yeah yeah, oh wow, so she wouldn't mind.

altogether. We did this for him, one show and we she went first, a sheep murdered for us comics. If we want starting, she was like me. She was just going off on diatribes of lake of andrew Jackson and just just give pivoting and nothing scripted everything's going from where she was, but to go to work. I was mantra. Regulatory I see everyone just bombs number one cause. Most people speak french and it's most of the audiences, like agents and managers, it's so hard to kill it that vessel. So I had to go up like maybe thirty, first and Jimmy Dore, no, let me know who John door was hosting and an I got done my side bombed, but

like everyone bombed, and then we will have a modest mushroom. I've never ate shed harder than my montreal gallop where steve marmots hosting and I went out there and it's all. There was a like five thirty, it's all like older people that have orchestra seats or whatever just eight shit, you're fifteen it it's like go back and it's not yummy. What was the name of the the streaming service it was trying to be with you, it's not yummy, but he sells he succeed. So, let's see so, and so so out you name it. I I you name it. I had shows there that never went to the sea so decks all in the green room, hang about haven't beers and I go back and walk around. They go back to the we're here. Make up was engineered back there by yourself. I go

wait. What are you doing? I hadn't really met her at all and she was like off on a bad set and I was like look first of all, no, you didn't. I said we all had bad sets. You didn't have a bad set. She goes no. I did I'm just embarrassed. I don't wanna go back there and I'm like you're fucking, Janeane garofalo like what the fuck you're in First, you can go in and command that hope. Your janeane Garofalo. I didn't say that to her. I was like I was like hey, I'm a really loud person. I bombed way harder than you did, and I tried material hull and, I said, come in with me, we'll hang out chill out and it was a really cool like go and be with her and walk and walk into this green room, there was one sees caesar things in kind of deflect and be like the obnoxious bert, but see it. work in a positive way and a shelter and umbrella. Her embarrassment, I'm fuckin I'm not I'm ignoring I'm trying to see if she's on instagram- I doubt it

did. She is fucking gorgeous, saw she sobered gorgeous and like like a look at her with her look at hers. Get the fuck out of here I mean it's like now beautiful I, these boys, what you ve been so so funny, and so smart, the tattoos are amazing. I mean she would like to have a party with her back when she partied of things I would have been fun. Oh I dunno, about it. The letters are dwindling. Validate assurance can rollers, she was, ass is like the ugly girl like member that muslim dogs was a movie about engineer. Awful urged virginia run in with sermon and janine was like the person of it paxton email with the guy, but those of sooner burglar, great but tat, sooner diverge work is that the japanese, Cannibalism, never know it. Sir, it's

it was ass if he would be castors like the ugly frumpy girl is fucking insane yeah. While I was hoping for years she goes on my list and then I started in delay. Why are going into like it will be cool, have sex with a divorced mom like like I'd I'd, deafening when someone who's gonna, wake up and make lunch boxes so I have no interest. Payments were famous, ok, famous famous hottest woman all right now right now, if you saying like for real- and I don't mean this disrespectfully some a big fan of her ex huge fan of racks. Without a doubt, this is general she's getting a minor west, virginia sean she's from west virginia. He is so like the way I would I would want to have and I sat with her, but I welcome. I would want my wife to be there. Also just two people top yeah: ok, don't three

I don't know I want to. I want to make sunflower seeds with her the next morning in hawaii to know how to do it too. Also, there's a list of women that women thinker hot and a list of women that men think or hot and its view very consistently the same list, but you pick women from the list that women are hot, oh yeah, yeah, gets a compliment, most guys go straight to Angelina, Jolie fouquet up. Do you now to hundred, This right there now want. No, no, no I'm not! I don't mean disrespectfully based. If not what I'm into It's like kate upton is not like. I didn't feel like we could fuck in a barn and you'd be down yeah. I want to. I want to check that like I wanted. did you can ruffians and won't you know. More like keen obtains a beauty lobbies and everything I just there's. A lot

stop. I don't have to deal with wrath, and so and I learned that it is happening too fast. You want to be able to. I just want someone who just they don't have expectations. I don't have expectations while you're taking their brain into account, I'm saying just physically I'm asking you to get shallow is shit jennifer garner. is one most beautiful people on the planet, but she also like, has attacked boy vibe, and she also like works out. at time and like she's, also someone you can like play ball with I'll tell you why I tell you, I jump runners that one picture of her taking benefits to rehab, see your taking a most nobody. I love note that woman woman that wasn't a diabetic shot woman that did that the woman it shook her ex husband in a car with a friend brought a friend, her god of in the back seat, driven through jack in the box, dat woman is sexy to me dude west virginia. She is that is some west virginia shit right there, though, through and through, like a like and like I like, like it's funny

I I what's your name Alexandra Daddario, don't know what you've seen true detective the girl with the boobs that woody harrelson was fucking. I don't watch a lotta tv, oh okay, I'm trying to think of all the girls that are thought of as, like the hottest girls on I'll. Tell you what this is going to sound crazy, I'm not a big like olivia munn fan sexiness like she's a dear friend, but I know I know I know when she was being an activist for asians. rights. I found that very sexy. Okay, like that's crazy, that I found that sexy, but when she was advocating, I thought that I was like I was like that makes her hot, like, like, I think, she's beautiful I've also she's beautiful, but I am not that's not what I'm attracted to like the things I'm attracted toward? No do not all of you. I m not called of both. They add a number of she gonna answer you you like one of our best for an easy, but she made me want to know she may go who the fuck is. This hate crime offender? She might be worth being or businesses that are we working I dont get. It doesn't seem problems it good. Just hang up right,

it doesn't. Let's get in, and out of this facetime doesn't seem to say exactly we just said, which is I'm not really. I don't think she's that hot shot, yeah hey how you doing olivia we're in the middle of a podcast, and I just asked the grey was trying to be now- and you got your whore mouth okay and asian woman is talking in its their time. Asian, hey! That's where this compliments going by the way asked him, I said, would be your ball pass in. He said jennifer garner, he's he did say jennifer garda than he said the hardest thing I've seen is olivia living mine, stepping up to stop asian hate and using her platform to talk about. This, and that is why her his arm now you're so lucky. No! No! No, I mean I respectfully by my name's bert, was furnished meet you famous committing the no one in hollywood knows about. You think I know who he is

but I said I I said you're, obviously very big. for whatever. When you come up on on my feet, as you know, olivia munn and resolute in a new bait beginner. Whenever I don't click on that But when I saw you talking about the lana shootings for whenever we are married man, but for what reason I found that varies, actually like the fact that you are like doing that. I went ah now she got to think about all the dead asian women and that got him out what I was turned on by by the way. Just why the fuck do you do this to me, as I regions face. I'm dave girl do. Why are we so dont worry to? Thank you so much for saying that that's actually the nicest in here and now so much to be. Truly, it's been so exhausting and so on do here that its region, because you guys are carrying in years specifically carrying makes me feel so guide. So thank you will What I mean why I don't want their massaged. Airbus said I that's

I personally, never once I never once hold on how many and jobs burns gonna guy now going on size and hey I've. Never once done at my entire life are best served by the way. That's fucking, races, her best friends are asian or vietnamese. Oh, no, no, no been so coy the I'll fuck. I forgot what I was going to say: Oh yeah, ok, can I ask your weird watch him out so, like I saw that thing that you posted and that an immediately I wanted to reposted, but I didn't want to deal with all this shit. They will come up with me. Looking like I'd virtue signal like so will you or something like that like having. I wanted this work in a white guy posts, that's nice GonNA. Look luck!

but it is kind of all decided like you're, trying to get likes off of of of of famous persons video right, I don't think it seems like as long as the caption says, something that feels really earnest. Just like you just said, I get one hundred percents one hundred percents stand behind us and like fuck, everyone who is hating on asians, and that's like that feels good, because we do more allies lead people to amplify. What's happened to ask people to amplify the outrage, so am I understand that feeling of, like you know, I'm not feeling like you're like signed as well. I got one I'm using this caught moment to help myself look progressive as long as you're does not mean you can help. People are thinking really the end of the day, but it

it doesn't matter. If you have a platform, no matter how big or small, when you are using that platform in any way to put out that message, it does. How can we see it? We I mean, I see a lot of, I see every little thing that kind of comes through, and it does mean something, no matter who it is it matters, and so I guess what I would say is that the people it matters to the most, do it matter and the people who would look at it as virtues signalling like it doesn't really matter because you're not doing it for them and they, yeah, and they were gonna shit on we had very they're getting on every the alec they're, just people who want to fuck and broader eyes at something import. I'll be in denial or their own. There are faced with their own guilt in ignorance or whatever. You look, Kings yet knows more about fucking international than normal. What are you doing? I'm doing a study. I'm doing a ragged video next week you're doing an imagined, dragons. Many, no I

nine hundred my daughters are names lightly in our launder. So sorry about that, Libya, I'm sorry, are we just ruining your career beg our area burnt by some miracle? Has gotten incredibly rich and successful somewhere in his new? How oh here when I listen, I was loaded me all my blog as I'm doing a move that are now habitat matter not doing despite national. Thank you, I'm I'm. Stepping at court has three pod cast, all of which are massively successful its ass, the eta and the other? Is I wouldn't be here if a lot, if they weren't vision by open in bolivia, was fast sire? I didn't gagging. I've got you data become my manager no drugs on the first day. She took me if she'll have never go down and I'd say you're like you would use our management company, and I just like to say that I know

Oh I've been thinking about it ever since, and that was not the first time. I think I think we didn't need to have her own studio. Where I mean I would sign up with her in a heartbeat, and I would just do everything through the the the The whitney about idea. A war big fan since the the early g for it is so good is applied to talking, but it was very katy was like by you, like. I'm not saying libya monkeys, unlike objectified her- does she so gorgeous, but, like her activism, is why she's my well that just made you call we end by the way it started with it started with us talking about how Janeane Garofalo was an activist way before anyone was doing it and it kind of hurt her career. So so it gets used if people shit on activism these days, but you you did it, will you do it in a way? That's like genuine, so genuine, and so it doesn't feel like you're just being didactic for the sake you can tell when someone's doing it for the law.

if, when someone's doing it for real yeah well, they need a lot of things that have been exhausting. Like there's a group of Boston, like you, I mean like the thing that, like you have to really kind of I mean it's been hard because I have had to especially those We just have to it's hard. Can you do a lot of guilt? Because you know you want to get the message out and keep it in the news at the same time, it's like purse it's exhausting or murdering yourself, so I got to kind of like shut down and come back so it does. It really does mean a lot when people hear and see it and know it in that, I feel that way so truly- and this has made my my night- I'm actually I'm so tired and day even and I got to keep going and then I have a go to appeared after this one was actually to think to myself, I'm so tired, but it's even hear this from me. Right now just gave me a big boost, energy use, and thank you for talking to us. I appreciate it the native land and I open invited you to buy gas. I passed

we were patent past letter ass. I do. They grew whereby we just called the girl and he's doing it. He just dead at this was this was just the way this has been a great pocketbook. Take the when I love we're sorry jessica I love you. I love you olivia munn. She looked, it was disarming because we had talked about like she was hot and I'm cinema, I'm like stomach type and then This idea is on the phone. I got it right. I immediately. Might I mean she's, so here's the thing about her. She so fucking cool. You have that, no she's a beggar girls. All she knew like our energy. That's not like mean aloof, mean girl at all here's idle one. Is I've never been to guarantee that people think she's that but she's not that I've ever been the guy that anyone and wanted to stand next to the bar or like or like go lake? well hold on. What are you going to do like I've just been a regular guy. My whole life, and that's why I got into comedy is good: figure out a way to get people like you

as normal. I think that I think a lot of guys identify develop a personality, a lot of guys that are super hot, don't develop a fucking personality and they're so, but I think that, like you'd, be surprised like like, like olivia, very few guys hit on her because they don't think they have a shot. You know and- and I think guys I like is like. I don't, have a shot, anyone to go talk to her and then that's a percentage of getting to data like it. You are not like the quarterback on your team in you, don't look like hers, hems worth and you want to data girl who's. A ten go talk to. work. Is chances are nobody's flirting with her? She is by just remember her for the attack of the show days yeah. She would know one we're heartbroken or he was on site where they got the guy that we all knew was the other guy the lead, the host. similar another cabin camera. Parada some doin umbrella removed all he's great again. Bread is good. Due to a living man is, I was jealous of her. She came on my path and I was like dude. I've been jealous of you for so long which she was like

in my head, my nemesis. What am I doing in the when I first moved to l a cause, she would get every fucking job and she deserved it, which was even worse. Cause I used to bake? Oh, it's just cause she's hot. It's just cause like it's diversity hire like whatever I need to say to get to feel. Okay with the fact that I didn't get it and then I started seeing her work. I was gonna fuck she's, like talented she's. Very him is very in her own skin like and not trying to be someone else. Her on attack of the show was so you: don't worry, we're not west wing newsroom, newsroom she's, newsroom shoot without was the thing she was on an age where they are getting Well, yeah, Jeff bridges is great on that yeah and then she started getting every job and I was like: oh it's just cause she's hottest just cause she's hot there's. You can find nine hot girls at coffee bean. At any point, when you walked down the street or starbucks in l a you are not getting jobs where she was going and then and then at the park us we'd, like became friends, but I had to say to her. Like just you know, I've been jealous of you for so long and issues should she lives up to it, but I would have paid up two lives up to kate. Upton is no

but I mean it's fucking awesome. Could you better? Erasmus has again, but she's been a dear friend for legal avenues. It's so annoying because, like every woman that I'm jealous of it just annoys me cause, then I meet them and they're cool and I'm like fuck now have to be friends with you and being pictures with you when you're so much prettier than me. but no kate, upton. We met at some like shooting hollywood party and we're both outside smoking we were like this is so fucking stupid. Let's get outta here and like we went in and out or something see, she's a girl, she's a michigan horse girl. It's so funny this podcast brought to you by scarlet frames. I talked to scarlet frames with our set photographer for our movie. they suddenly stills will move. They shouldn't why you should. In the movie- and I said he said I you know he gave me a book. It was a really nice book and I said if I gave you a link to a skylight frame cause. I would rather that to be honest with you, I mean looking at a picture of the books, cool scallop frames, or so they're beautiful little frames. We item I get Mona my mom and dad my sister,

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from another famous people- are profoundly disappointing and whack and not worth being friends with, but there's some of them are famous for reason, coastal, charming and funny and and self effacing, and you know, and they deserve their fame, a lot of people down, and I feel like the ones that are actually like a fuck. I would have faced with their friends with you. Even you weren't famous. Those are the ones like god, damn it you're not as we gladly sailor, I would have been friends with legs. I just met him. I would have wanted. We french sandler, is the nicest but I can say that because he's just haven't me last so much in my former beers yeah of what I found funny that I go, Www become friends with its famous that you forgot. They were either your hero or famous like like. I came up at a time where bill bur was just so good and I, like, I dont, think him and I can ever fully befriend sorcerer say like I: love had been a doha that lie broughton being acknowledged, like you

over twenty nunez we're equal. I didn't know I never you will never equal just send a really good like I brought him and his wife, but I'm good friends with his wife and a week when he came to the farm or my horses and with his kids, who looked at them, there's just still this like. I know that if I fucked up you're going to make fun of me- and I dont want to embarrass myself- I bet bill. Russia is very much like. I forget that she's cash at least get casual jennifer anniston, though I never forget, jennifer aniston, please get cash on the phone. Oh, I am the biggest fucking. Let's say Kesha fan has this: I am the biggest fucking. Okay, let's say SAM, okay, okay, Kesha, honestly easily Kesha is er. Okay, let me try my favorite okay. Let me try I'm going to try

I'm not guaranteeing I'm going to have success, but yeah sure I'm sure you can do whatever you want in this place. Let's see if we can get cash on the let's see how many famous people more famous people we can get on this bike as it may cause, otherwise people would have to know by now. This is like about a strike out. That's fine. Passion yeah, letting you wanna text chain with our. Will you not embarrass yourself what I'm putting on a texting with her promise you that Cash out, we are calling you apologize for advantage ashes I shall now shit fan of catches I mean that in like when I heard die young ike, I'm anyone that knows this been nor any my club shows mighty clubs. I would come up to cash.

All the time. That's all the time you know. What I want to know is: what is it I'm holy water? What is it because I did carpal karaoke with her in her new song. Is such a fucking jam warp where are we are who we are ass amazing. We are really are she's, great and she's. Incredibly, like she came up my pockets and I I think because she's so cereal and she so regional and she's got the I kindly that's the one. You know the other one is the one with the big freda tell me: don't love it here we go crazy. Peeps that fucking drop is the yeah bird. Is your biggest fan

The planet is one of the famous comedians in the world. Right now, I'm surprised you are, and can I hold idle developers? I don't. Can I just call you first of all die young. is a song. I came on to one stage, probably two hundred times any of my fans: no came on to stay. There came onto that's on I dream on the remakes. You did with the with those three deeds I love that song. If you put that on I dunno, I run the sudden boy. Five for the whole thing he's sorry cash. Such a fuckin fan and and from a real place to enjoy your music, my two daughters, was so much fuckin phone when they were young. You have no idea Emotional, I literally, you know you have a special place in my heart. You always will always be a fan. I will always be a supporter. I I've got your back. I'm a writer die mother fucker Oh, my god, you're going out with by my brighter days.

yeah yeah I'll, give you back to wit me, but I just gotta tell you that Are you back in town for some time that they really are emerging I'm sure we try to end sunday at the www like it out or show I'm coming. My name. I love you wanna do it and I think I think you are my god I'm. So how are you good, I'm good. I love you. It's all dunams bring you like income infestation brings up your music like where it's just. I was like I'm gonna facetime her like her. Unlike a legitimate luxuriate failure. I love bed so much and let's go on sunday, immigrant and yes, I love you, I love you sure I let her face. You ve never lose iberia. What this is not my should not some shit I would were in love,

Why do I know I miss you and I fell off of the like grid a little bit when I had to it, and I've been a terrible friend and I'm sorry you're, not you do not have to apologize. He was open. And you're, not desirable ban here, and I had a yellow lazy with animals and I sort of just slipped all day for like a month or you know maybe you're Bobby you. My body may be needed, but back that's your back in action and I'm coming on sunday. Can I please come at all yeah, eight nine am I gonna. Do I gotta leave monday fine contribution, I can't I got kids, I guess I'm leaving for three months. Ok, you download, but over a basement, merla babies by big movie, star late, whereby we please tell casualties over what to do. My boy doesn't want to do your bike cassa, so I thought that's how you right now we're passing bark, does have very, very successful big package cash

as a podcast as well. Let me computers I'm a great guest. No, she she looks great guess that people she gets on her amazing targets, huge guests and the music she's ever heard about the time I robbed the russian mafia dropped. The thing is that burkheiser is super big in the podcast game, but it I I don't know if you're worthy of being on her podcast alone, you're, not famous enough, I'm not sure if you're free in any form then it's cash at the creepiest. Okay, maybe you'll get on you can get on cashless podcast. You can trade. I would love that. But when you leave town on monday for three more is there a cave its remote from will do when I get back we're doing a back? Why suddenly, you kids. I got to get some number three, maybe thrilled for you to be gone. Luncheon and I want to know if the latter are friday, I'm going to go. When I love you, but I'll come. Let's get you and we'll get a bipartisan. I love you. I love you. I love you. I miss you, maybe

think about you all the time ditto ditto ditto, I'm sorry I off the grid. It's I miss children or a girl could give you real trend. Know when you got your real friends know you can like dip out for a couple of weeks and then come back and be like throwing a ball of one. In you're a and I love you look on ten years old. I just my strength, shit adamantine, you look unreal Jesus Christ you're out of ten. Just listen to catch him and I spoke of arms were literally but we're just sitting there saying all your sancho go. Do I didn't harpo karaoke? I you ever, I thought you'd have learned all words it's true challenge for problem area, but he knows the words way better. You have no idea how many of my fans are gonna, see me talking to you and I only came up the dialogue stage for like a year and a half, god. I love that only got death. Ok, let's trade!

you also should sue him for using your songs as much as he does. Oh by the way there in my instagrams instagram videos he's using them illegally, all over the place We owe the bad you know we need to do. We need to get your true fan. Cash out, you'll give her one your teeth. well. I've got a couple have been losing to by crazy. You know that dude she's been losing teeth. She has a necklace of her fans, teeth so you're the real writer by fans yeah. I bet be the first. Forty. Eight year old mauler, your gas ever curator familiarity a done deal? You tell your daughter, air, strong, mother, back and women, I'd, love and fear that you're a cool dad and thanks for letting me of course, your also its age, aids iranians. It's not that he's creepy his dislike actually creeping without ok,

Is it ok? It's not like. I just three any kind of great deal. I love you buy, maybe well life go achieved years, well, say right or left the last year I have done this bike as I have left him and, like I wasn't funny, I wasn't good. That was a waste. That's not good! That's going to bomb his numbers are going to dip. He's, definitely asked me back hit it out of the field, now this one I got drunk

I know a bunch of people that are way more famous and entertaining than me, but I still do pull through. Do you know what it is our energy we should do. A talk show together because our energy, when we're with famous people, is very interesting and it's the reason that Adam sandler video went viral is that you were just like what the fuck are. You doing and I fuck things up. We should do a late night. Talk, show together and have celebrities on like Matthew, mcconaughey and just have some wine, oh well. I just poured it all into my glass. Just give me all the tiny bat you're not covered, nope, I feel like yet with famous people. Thank you. I didn't really bad at it, like I'm bad at being around them and you're very comfortable with them. I think it's because you've just been in this there's so much longer than I have I successfully successfully successfully. I just was is the guy in the back? This store just go, and I got one of you my spot and like holy shit, thenceforth. what the fuck, like. I don't think I'd ever see that

I am just so I just I am cumberland budget very genuine place. Think, and I can say this as being whatever I am and having people meet me. I know how people at act when they meet me. And I think I am the same way out when I meet them and hear those eight. What at what I do, I hope I don't do this like what I don't like is when someone meets a celebrity and tries to like play it cool. Like oh hey, what's up it's, I don't pretend like you're, not a fan like we No famous person wants someone like There are or be like a man like will do just want, be treated normalcy and they didn't work this hard to be famous because they wanted to have a normal life and not a people, love them. But for me I also, I mean, if I were to me, like I'm, in two I'm forest whitaker. But once it I did not handle myself while because of I was so different of a person and that its object, meaning Christopher Walken like this,

people are my actual friends. When I meet a famous person that I don't know I understand I came up to Kesha. I am probably for legit two years on the road that was die. Young was what I came. I listen to die young on planes drive I think are the viewer. Your dna, like that's a part of my dear like when I met citizen call by was I couldn't I couldn't keep should the red army and like to certain people that I definitely my shit around, but my action Frankly, there I mean we like, like out of that group every one you called I've, I've taken, I feel like I've known them for, and I think this is what people that listen to podcasts go like. I feel like. I know you I feel like we hang out when we listen to podcasts and- and I know that I felt I feel that way about Joe- I don't see Joe ever, but I listen to the podcast and I'm still intimidated by Joe. Sometimes I mean there's times it's like we're friends and we're close to me. all the times, but that there are times when I get psyched out because he's gone so famous and also

pm and I'll be in his studio and I'll, be like oh, that's Joe and then the cameras to start rolling in I'll go fuck, nostro rogan You know like I never had that with howard, stern and part of the reason. I think I did so well on howard stern show when I went in as I didn't. Listen to a growing up- and I didn't I wasn't like that- is howard stern. I was like oh, this is just this guy who's. A great interviewer rogan, like I feel like. Sometimes I forget, I forget, he's our friend Joe and he turns into Joe rogan and then I'm lagoon? Don't do that you can't He can't be Joe rogan to you, he's fucking Joe. The comic that you hang out with in the comedy store. You know you're a Joseph weird one for me when they asked him to like us fifty eight. What is called are like moderate or may be moderate. Like the presidential d I met ridiculous. I'm like went like. I find that when they do some like that, I want to text identity. I detect a most like you're fucking joking, like you're, jerked it but

but I mean when I remember Joe, is Joe rogan is he like has to change his phone number all the time and I'm like oh shit, like I forgot that you're Joe rogan, oh yeah, where he just gets to a place where he's like er yeah too many people have my phone number. You show up and you see with him, surrounded like seven navy seals and are like oh fuck. but I'd, be our them in those like. What's it like to perform with chapelle, forgetting he's Joe now and he is now you could have chapelle. Would you like to performance or bulgaria theoretically? But for me he don't, I never want to be like he's is Joe cause. I don't cause. I do understand. The group to have two done with package. You can have a hundred million. Listeners a week or wherever he has, but you now on the cover of vulgar. and he says no to all that shit. So all the things that were condition to believe a celebrity does he doesn't fucking do drive if he says no to it, he's asked to do all of it, but he passes on the jimmy fallon and kimmel, and all these things that were trained to be like. Oh that's, a famous person. You know he flies under the

the radar in terms of bullshit hollywood pr, but he's like the most famous person- and I mean now- I was walking to new york ass a year and a half ago and like I won't, I. instructions. I never look why we love your Joe rogan and people. I was with another pretty famous person and I was the most famous person in new york because of Joe rogan yeah. It was wild yeah. I think I think Joe is a it's it's hard for me to he's a religion, yeah, here's the thing, the most famous person in the world four pod, you saw them for two hours a year, maybe four hours a year on a big screen in a movie as a different character, so as merrill streep as sophie and sophie's jointly You didn't always know a big, so but his name. You knew their character from a movie. You know you in him what to bomb. the three three nine hours a week, a posted for hours a year.

The biggest movie star in the world is maybe what it meant, six hours a year on the big screen. If they have three It has come out a year yeah I I mean I think people get very party over the people. They love. I mean the way I just fucking geeked out over fucking Kesha. If somebody came up, but that's what's so great about your bird is like you Just like you stay authentic in your you and I think people love watching you plan to use the best, I know that's the way I just seem like you fanning out, I mean member when we did that dude when, when you found out an Adam sandler, please go back on their feet and watch this video. If you have not seen it like dude, this was the peak of coven. We were all running around doing charity. and we both. This is what we were wiping on groceries. You came to my house cause I was like. I don't want to host these things. I feel like I'm bombing on all these fucking charity. Events like I dunno. What I'm doing, let's just do it together and Adam said I came up new knew he was going to come on the screen and you still willing to of you loving its sovereign and dear it's, maybe it

during it. I'd tell you right now. I would probably love to lose the endearing side just for a little bit of cool. Will you let me go about sandler levelling grow like I love a bit by the hand and sailor. If anyone pretend not started by Adam sandler, there are fucking tool for ever. I get a movie without sailor. Everytime you work out who the thumbs and were never gets norm. I am just a massive fucking fant, the guide him farley spade the whole generation normal sped up the abbot, like still ok like yeah. I am, I guess, theoretically, but trust me when he sends me the voice, texting boys tax. I played a couple of times in front of my wife. I go to David spade like it is. I can't help I can't help it manner. Elegant moors! Go to that guy dies, but we David spade.

just consistent, fucking movies by late hours. There still is both a good die of the blacks he the basque and by the way so fucking funny. Person all said, title four guys me nuts he used I care of me a couple of times on the dl like a with his show, where he kind of edited it out things, I said that I will then lay ran ivy regretting now yeah he was like is any just in the in the on the fly added that our aid. I want that out there and I was like it, but you know you trying to be funny for Davis babe you take a big wings

and he protects you. He doesn't want you to as you don't want to look at it cause he wants to win or they get that bad experience with eddie murphy murphy. So he goes. He goes. I know what it's like to be young and hungry, not I'm not young but like hungry and want to take big swings. I've been there I'm going to take care of you. Take a risk. Yeah he's a love. Davis bass like become one of my closest dearest. Friends and it's like every now and then like hill yeah, send me a boyfriend when someone with meal here it like my dude who's from phoenix or from fucking scottsdale and David spade, like a god there, because that's fucking david spade and I'm like, and I'm like whoa right, you're David spade a spade norm, macdonald those all those guys just to say to the time when you're fucked finding your voices, a comic or as a young man for me and you're going like you know you look at the gap. Girls get in your,

crying laughing dolomite you'd ivory watched, beverly hills danger the other day the dude everything do duck. Farley is a treasure dude. I have now laughed that hard. Since I saw the first time whose aren't farley Farley, whose come the closest zack, Josh GAD, know who sadly exact sakharov enough confident so galvanised me, as our closest crisper. That's a good and you guys get sandy what I had it seems a high and what he did he took. What forty was doing the next level in a city in a inside joke inside me, small companies a level of meant it. I'm sorry. I just swat settled tik tok today I watched a

a literally a for feed of between two ferns and that's a full characterise the hardest I've I've laugh I saw I have like. I can actually rank the top five things that are funniest shit to me like, I think about all the time. Brodie Stevens is number one on new year's eve. I think it was two thousand since nine. Ringing in new year's eve, the communist or bombing so hard and yelling at the crowd, I will let you know all the bags cool I mean well imagine going to a new year's eve. Show that you're being a hundred dollars, its new year's eve and brodie stevens comes out and is like, like headshot psych, by or whatever like I'm a model for Al Jazeera like no one was getting it. No one was mayor. I go to lunch with my mom and I pay half. Everyone was like what it's new year's eve and we're dying in the back, but were we just talking about Zach often I guess

between two ferns one of the hardest. I've ever lived in between difference when he had steve, Carell on and said to see the girl so you are starting a movie called. God almighty, like you, see Robert and then she said yes and he and zack discos. Why He has so many he has asked. is one of the most genius shows I've ever seen. It might my top five, maybe the second after the my favorite bout zack is is by the waves. I really consider I dont considers act when we talk about, like fire most people thereby sees act. I adult consider him the way you would like my girl, if I'm a he is, but like the last time I saw that luxury bodies, the funeral, this too I mean I'm we were murdered at, but I look exact. I look exactly like a just. A comic at all seem as movies are so injustice comic, because an

why new member way before his famous and I saw him at the field, we're all and he came up and he was like burt and I was like a turnaround was like what's up and he goes it sack off in august and I was like and that's who I guess that's when we last skyways, when you talk about like who people are matters, actors is one of the biggest movie stars around, probably if you, you gun digger had a gun to your head. You I mean it Kill you if I need you to Ask a comedian end! community want to come. Tell me a joke right now and if I don't laugh, I'm gonna kill you. Who do you call. I have a weird while a joke telling you tell someone to whoever the fuck it is needs to come in and make me laugh or ominous shoe to kill you in front of your children. Who are you going to call they can be anywhere in the country they need, Make me laugh, not you. They need to make this.

because I have a weird shit one. I have definitely, but what if it's a hollywood person, no like a failed actor upon any killer and because it would be great, I think I think I love colbert not going to colbert, I might copper. Chappelle would be my head and going gonna make the joke. I'm gonna pass on and I'll tell you who I'm going with ready, I'm so a blue and want to guess I'm gonna get guess damn matter men. I thought you were they did. Gould, who I am reminded, unmarried tentacles great through here thing is like Dan manner. Men we'll just come. And all sounds like it. I'm about to burden the various den ottoman very quickly will go. Ok I gotta go I got a gun to my head. Okay, alright, we need a gun to a head. Joke, hey. You know what's crazy, about putting a gun to my head, dontcha and the guys connecting go like dan admins, real quick, and he will figure that

and who says that, no matter of fact and he's just it's like the what what is the thing they say that he doesn't care. If you die, he's gonna kill he does not. Viewed I die he'll, go like yeah, he's youtube A girl bernard well arise. I'll go right is. Rather nobody knows exactly what you want I share and over because also like they say what what is it comedians are people that say things that are funny and commissars. People say things funny in a funny way. He does both he sang funny in a funny. What he's made me laugh harder than any a lot of human beings. I should have said to tell, tell him to come and tell what is obviously area tat. He would tell our german author someone whether gunnar how this look good. You know who I am. I've hung out with him in the last like couple years, I've seen em when I moved to allay demeter Martin was de babies. What am I was one of my dearest one in those rights. I swear to you all my children's lives when,

when you said that I went Dimitri is really great and he's got allow jobs. Are they know, murder, various rebel but murderer? quick liners like he'd say like on my friend. You know, people show me photos that their kids, you know, and I'm supposed to think it's cool than I show them photos of their kids and they think I'm where the heat is. Has his jokes that you can easily tell someone else. You know who else I might call he's. Not is famous you money. I ve been away as his name is Dan ments when their movements and he is very dry. It's a he's a guest, even right: mental, definite them and he has one of my favorite jokes. He goes on, so things have changed the way that you know you jerk off now with the internet like I used to have to sit around and wait for the sears catalog to come, and then I would turn to lingerie action, but now the internet, I can just go to serious dot com, legged son, you're, fucking, great bulletproof, proof there's a guy. I worked with the had such a great joke one time and he said

I can remember if you settled on stage or set it to me, I owe is such a good. joke. I wish I knew this was by the way the guy got in trouble jake say their memory. Jake's ada do yes, he saw his jokes up on youtube. Amazing. He, the guy's joke, was my dad. My dad was introduced fire things in life. Oh, I worked. This guy medicines were cut, was constant and he got drunk in the afternoon amidst the show and up it broke. My heart cells I was like amen, especially with oma like when you're on my show, if you do that, that's a fuckin red flag to everyone like cause, everyone thinks I'm going to be on the missus to show his joke was my my dad bought me cigar aficionado. He said son is time to introduce you the finer things in life he was. I didn't have the heart to tell him. I wipe my ass with mcdonald's, napkins love, the art adult, I'm a white man,

will mcdonald's napkin level? Are there so many openers and like open micros that had one in annabelle job. Then they never really wet anywhere in europe. There is one joke was so fucking like like there is this sum. Comic, can't members name and it's kind of timely, given the fact that I was moved to us in about ten years ago. This was fucking hilarious, where he would say I'm You know the main export of people who live in austin, taxes is p well who love austin Texas. At the time it was like. Google mobile students burst like, and then there is a were Dante, that communion Dante do who came up. He was like a local allay communion hood but on all these shows bring a show, didn't ask I'm assuming all right- and here I mean he would do that

shows a bowling alleys and shit like I did a lot of his shows coming up and he had a joke where he said, and you know it was something like you know, there's this woman I was with who gained a bunch of weight and she was like I'm not. I'm fat, I'm just big boned and he would go really. I've never seen a fat skeleton. It's just like. I was like oh fuck, like that's, gonna, be probs fronds and in l, a or new york, who had one of the best jokes I've ever seen in my entire life. It was about the long island, subway shoes, a long island, train, shooting and the way he acted it out was so good. He goes mad.

and I can't believe people run if I heard gunshots. I just pretend I was dead and you'd watch him slide down the wall and it was. It was so fucking mute. You do this and I I started going back to like Tommy John again was an opener. I worked with yeah tommy. Every thing that came out of his mouth was good. I remember the first joke he. I heard him saying in penguins in the in penguin davenport davenport iowa, he said I went to a strip club and I had an ugly stripper. She said to me was the first was the first thing you want me to take off, because I don't know how about my glass hurried down again. Army John again in school, who show them how to their career tommy? Don't you know who else

Oh I'm, one of my favorite gale. I have a lot of incense go of chad, Daniel chamber. I don't even on traditional chad, Daniels Chad Daniels is is for king. What happened? What happened? I think you know enormously and living job with precisely the same thing, whose name is tat. No he now he's a good chat here. He lit in him from got married, had kids and lit nl for little bit names like you know what fuck it making money on the road. I'm going amidst moved minnesota and did the row. From minnesota and I think he like, hitting it kind of perform myspace on the internet, yeah. There's people that Greg shoemaker, who I used to open for craig shoemaker and I go on the road. Anyone just just fucking straw. He would he was interests and I I if he, if he was ten years later, would he have been dane cook. I dunno I'm just asking he was he he was lined up to be dane cook the same

Look, I really go looking guy fucking holler, it's like literally one of the best one of the best comics out there that I think his thing he did love the road to paper. I am really chat, channel, tat, Daniels and a woman. Just I'm gonna kill cease. He got into the oven. To sum up using a preacher narrow, something is a girl, he does self help, he does them. Nothing. Kyle was someone who overran lies himself a little, but in my opinion- and I think I think what has this is- this is my theory. Or gave up right when he thought he maybe deserved more, like we never get what we deserve. That's an interesting theory. Yeah like I believe I deserve to play arenas. It's like alright bet, you're going to play fucking theaters for that since you theatres two years longer than you think you should ominous this, as you can't just sell out an arena. You have to sell out in the, two days. I had a really pivotal conversation with tommy today,

If you allow me, I thought his name's tom and so on, leaving on Monday. Serbia and he didn't move their yeah yeah and steer, told they grow so far. The movie business is really a smart move. Insert year you told me, and so he goes money and there may be a very big pep talk on lake. that you're going the one later, not famous no northerly model to two too believe that you can do it and you deserve to do. It is a really interesting pep talk because he goes he goes. I know you have known you for twenty years. This is your thing Believe it feel like us, are really do not want to spend money on you if they don't think they're gonna make you money from them. Right and making a movie with you out of charity or volunteer work, no one's at all. It's been iceberg and give a movie they're doing it

I think they can make a ton of fucking money off you, but I do believe that there is a. There is a thing that happens with people's when they get to a place where it's time to go to the next level. They should themselves do and they go. I don't deserve it's self defeating. I never understood it. They think they deserve it and they get shit that they don't deserve, just because everyone was like. Oh, this person must deserve it because there were other acting. You know, that's not very sustainable, but it's interesting that you say that cause. I I look at it and they go. Who didn't you know like when you were talking about aussies I think he over analyzed himself. Sometimes I think he would would you have extra supposed to do We gave you a hominid, then posted on instagram imposed on twitter and or whatever, like. You did, a slam, video of rebecca black one time and then the next day did an apology, video and I was like- I think you just gotta- let it sit up there. Man, I think you just gotta, take your charge and be like I fucked up or whatever to self absorbed. Get you care to comment. You cannot apologize for Joseph, our friends, whom you can only apologize, does or not funny

and people didn't laugh at it. That's one thing, but also it's also. I also think we're at a time where, like you know, like kathy griffin, made a huge career off of talking about celebrities and telling a celebrity stories like, but I think she's sort of an exception. You know she's had twenty specials whatever but like if you're telling jokes and using a celebrity, it feels mercenary. It feels like cheating, almost kathy That's been doing it for so long and does it, I think you know so cleverly and thoroughly that that's where people come to her. For you know it sort of feels like cheating. When you talk about, I met a celebrity, and this happened. It's like okay, but and things that then you make airplane food funny. Can you do but do jokes, my religion like to talk about the things that everyone is talked about in finding new fresh, take on it

because there was no listen to a bit about kanye. That's gonna go viral. Of course it is oh yeah, kanye west. I think that's how I felt about that Tracy morgan stories I was like I don't want to get out cause. I was like I'm not funny in it. I'm just telling you about gossip. That happened with being a celebrity celebrity gossip is, is kind of cheating and stand up. I remember doing the video for pet mcafee, where he was like when people know when calming effect and cheating I didn't know now alive, they always live. We sculleries libraries. I would never knew joke about that girl. I've never do it because I would feel like I was like I'm getting laugh. I don't deserve. I would never do a story about row or maybe I'm sure I have and certainly have them. I am such a hypocrite in life that I go hold on one second, but you told the fuckin machine story. There's no celebrities that, from all around the rack and you earn people's attention and laughs because it was fucking funny and well crafted an amazing story. You didn't go, it did your youtube link. Wasn't

kanye west party joke no see the thing about. I think your man's calling you is it your doctor will edit that name out mark that time of that and hi sorry. Still podcasting wrapping up we're wrapping up? Are we talked about you a lot of these? We and burnt pressure, do you remember. Yes, anywhere he'd. Not do you know who he is a bird yeah. I think I've seen every inch of that man's body as a veterinarian? Would you say that I have oblong demise, I'm really and so much trouble? don't, will edit it. You know, I'm guy quint only what I don't care, don't quit hollywood

I just had a need you would. I just had a show. Hi. Are you naked he's got checked up on what a good looking man he's very hard. I know I told him the story of how we have so a man. Do I have dog problems now you're, looking grey, no, no! No! No, not me I've been so we had bullmastiff. I just want to talk to you about animals right now so badly. It's literally the equivalent of someone saying tell me a joke. Yeah I have. I just want to talk to you about animals, but go on demand. Ah, would you know what we're gonna do one night entire one or just go in and pay him for his work or know about it. Don't do it down. I don't bring my dogs at the back here. We ve got it We spent a lot of money on that. I'm trying

My daughter, I let him come of that- are really think the money is being a vet. These days. It's not. he's got sixty granting loans over real. I I couldn't afford one. I couldn't afford a major one detriment by this house Different types of money can afford to buy me. The engagement ring. I deserve I Luckily, it's not that I'm saving up the about don't put on your fat swollen our fingers I ain't gonna take my failures of iraq labelling. Can I tell you, I ll talk about Alex Arnold, who you'll know that is, and I said, watching a documentary on Alex honnold and he said he treats himself at the end of the night is a is possibly a bowl of berries

has berries at the end of the night. I go that's his treat. This guy has no treats in life. He can't jack off his hands of the texture of dog, paws yeah. It just puts on a nice warm glove and Elizabeth Levens, yeah, there's no jacking, no jacking offer those fucking hands. I've had those kind of hands inside my vagina. It's not grant What are you going to do? He was again you're running a little hot for a doberman for a doberman I don't have like. I don't have a ghost hitter for me on the saturday anything I went bouldering in vietnam over the water yeah deepwater selling. That's it that's what I meant say. Yes, we did that it's called swallowing cause he's gonna, be single soon to lower lou. Italy elegantly ran a lot better

alright I gotta get home, my daughters are watching the shining. Do you think, do you think I won't keep you guys. It was a pleasure meeting. You there he's been years since four thirty aren't leaving I'm leaving. Now. Sorry, I'm just getting myself canceled, I'm trying to ruin my career. Take your time, love! You love you and we're looking dude he's so handsome. It's so funny and weird yeah know I'm not and into hawkeye's. It's weird hussar anything else. I see I'm on a rampage like here's the thing I just how to show that I was doing until tomlinson. Now it's not happening rule and I've I've. Finally, and my last show that I'm pitching that didn't happen, because he was either too edgier to risque or two not two broke. Girls are the shows that I've made that have like everyone just wants a multicam for me like two broke girls and I've tried to do like edgy things that align with, like who I really am and know like a h b. O didn't go amazon,

didn't happen was too incendiary. It was too dangerous has ignored streaming. I think a lot. Ownership as like our options are either to do shows for days. Name which is hulu fox is now disney. So we can't fucking around and be biagi. Amazon is a grocery store, like we'd, be doing, shows for a grocery store. apple is in international brands that you can't fuck around on, because your bet brennus about its heart. streamers- are actually now seizing up a little bit. almost more, just the networks at this move, and so I kind of like our work as an actor and shows like a monica doing a couple, shows an actor as a creator. I might take a break saddam just falcon, When I was young, I got your progresses super successful your torrent success. Will you doing specials you ve just directed a movie. I got a part of me because I am not not. My thing in life is like a wanted

do specials were like a thing or two conqueror one who get I want to do. I want, living as soon as you fucking took time off in focused only on stand up. Your career was just blew it when insane booze did. I the fact that mice, every special I've done what it was like. My third priority. Why, I was writing it, but I made it my first priority. Only a after just do fuckin my time was eighteen months. Are we gonna do eighteen months for a special? In my opinion, stand up just jessica casting for eighteen months, no to shanghai, was god whitney you'd fuck him murder? You bury your specials were already fucking eyes when I want to do I would do that it would have. I would do that when you talk about like not giving a fuckin- and me talking about giving a fuck post pardon my leg lying in bed by go, I never I've never had any dreams working with jennifer gardener, reese weather.

boone dave grohl cash. I've never had a dreams that I never thought I ever meet them. So I think that the beauty of like great stand ups is that there's no repercussions and that's what we love about Joe, is that he take big swings. He didn't give a fuck now he shit about fighters. He knew he'd see next week, wow yeah, you know and you're like when Sean came out that time he shook it was like. I think you should quit being a fighter. It was like on the show Joe has no problem with some of the most amazing most telling tv I've left his podcast thinking. I just ruin my career and you've. Just gotta let go the lack of it all and go hey man, people, hate me people like me, you know I'm more afraid of saying true opinion on people with power in fear that they won't higher, I mean down the line, powers fake, but the irony is they were never going to hire me in the fucking first place. Let's be honest, I only got to where I am by doing podcasts. Really, honestly, I a podcast specials.

And I ve never once thought about anything in my career twice. I just said it and did it and it to start doing that now. Is would be silly will be, will be against that. Rain of what I'm already done. I said: stop rose, I'm gonna fuck. lastly, maps natura polypus stuff, stubby baby is he's on his room. He said something to me: listen he's a comic as it you're, not gonna get any of this he's he's comic. His pack has called come town. About up up up up up, immediately love and no bathing he's moroccan hilarious. He's a greatest guy. He's overweight he's balding any had a tooth missing out of his face for a very long time. No see some of these pictures. Shavers babies, dhabi, baby sadie study heavy, is, is that right you see picture them browse for garden house? I don't know as private

yeah. Sorry, I don't have a bustle. He said something prophetic to me, stacy era it's just came up. I feel like my algorithm as little. He said he nor I when I I never got more pussy than when I didn't have a tooth hidden front tooth, and I said Why- and he said I stopped focusing on the test. of thousands of chicks. They didn't want to fuck me and I started. I start focusing on a thousand checks that wanted to fuck me and enable very successful podcast come come. Town is cut, is its role very very so. It makes like eighty grant a mobile patria. Last name is cummings ashen fuckin me my pakistan I thought about yeah hindsight's twenty twenty july, the jane joined the pussy public and okay, and so and so, but that concept of like focus on the people that want to fuck you and ignore the people that don't

fuck. You is such a way that hollywood doesn't work. Is you just focus on the people? They don't want to fuck you whitney smart I love you. I love you so much. I feel like I've bombed the first four times in your package, I homeless, not bomb. Ever but I will tell you you had a fuckin home run. I had to call the real shit household name fucking, but it works home by the way. should be inaugural podcast studio your longest packages. It deadly Spending on farms. It I've only done did five hours in thirty minutes region once this is the second largest partners. I guess it is never mind your lungs magazine, your eyes, like half way way by far right. Yeah, that's a big deal, those gentlemen, some of you the trophy I'm getting a lose. My career gratulation abundance of total edit over this.

you don't want to pull out. One added forget that pocket down again that's none of the rest.