A brand new bird gas. Everybody only written shit. Boy loaded comedy festival, is also right. Now we are adding people secret time. We were drunk at a bar last night, some committed to the first run His name rhymes with. Pain willows? we're comics as we go. We added Joe ideas. Last week we had david tell Martin norman big j oaks. taylor tomlinson fgm themes, their Nicky glaser, sir volcano, I'm sure footed being someone the list is awesome. This is gonna, be there biggest party to some you're want to miss it speaking of party cinco de mayo, at the greek

If you haven't done your tickets get them now. We are almost sold out sink If a mile at the greek me metallurgy, mark norman, I think secret time thinks emerald is going to come. Do a spot secret time. all right. That's all my announcement, buddy boy, world tour, portable relapse, world door is is still going. We like to three more weeks left and then I am taking a much needed break, went to the doktor got my blood panels get my blood pressure. it's good. We can run through this torn, I won't die. I was worried. I was worried for a second there and that you guys were too. I saw the comments. Jesus Christ, but I read of your fucking cheeks know those new york were partying with the fucking to do what the fuck are you going to do? Wouldn't you do it when you do it If I give you a week- and I was like- hey man, I'm going to put you up at the soho grand and you're going to party with the funniest people in the world for the next week or you can just read a book come on

the fuck you gonna do, and you know that you're healthy and by the way, my real goal. As I said to myself, but I'm sorry, this is a long, his passage pack, but I'm here where nashville at the grand opera we have one shudder night and Two shows at the ryman tomorrow, and this is a benchmark in my career. well. A few years ago I was with ari and nape or gutsy, and we went and saw Angela Johnson and larry the cable guy at the ryman, and I remember saying to myself: I can't imagine that this is in the books for my career. I said if you ever gave me the jimmy to perform here, amber Andrew Johnson yo endless at a famous nail slob bit- and I am I. I was, I do think she tell the else one bit and I literally said if the machine story, get me to the riman, that's like AL amidst the

the original gambled opera. By the way this grand old opry is gorgeous. I am blown away that I'm getting the opportunity to perform at the ryman end at the grand old opry and at the greek. And it red rocks and it all these places. I am really am retro very privileged because I this career? Wasn't always this? It was. It was a should show back in the day, thank every single one of you. Listen weekly to this podcast because.

Because you guys afford me the opportunity to do these shows that I love and I love stand up. Obviously, and and I love this podcast and I love two bears one cave and I love. I love everything. I'm feeling I'm feeling very grateful today and I'm also going to lose weight before I turn fifty. I will be, let's make it go away, peter two, twenty okay, maybe not to twenty the way. You said that about two twenty five to twenty five from when I turned fifty, I I gotta fucking do some of these could be honest though I know my face- looked fatter spot, but this arm fucking jack, that's muscle right there tears by gas, is with the dude talking about weight loss who lost. I think, like a hundred and fifty pounds Josh Josh is here's. The thing is, I know, Josh from social media from vine from

Jason NASH, I know him from all of these things. I knew Josh and drake or drake and Josh. The girls had watched it a little bit, but who are we talking about attack the girls. Like wasn't really are things I think they're too young those boys. more wizard, waverley place family and and then I found out the night before that he was in. The movie, the wackness as one of my favorite movies. He was talking automated it's kind of bombs, mail, no, that he was almost as low as he was a north method man. He tells a great method. Man story. And kings lose. Then it with them. He tells a great bang. Kingsley story he's a great fuckin, podcast guests. I would have been back any day. Sober talks about a sobriety in this talks about his wife, his wife, who was wives. Dad is kind o brien. is a great dude. He's got a book out right now. The book is, People are annoying, you get it at amazon, dot com. There will be a link in this described

in underneath neath Ladies and gentlemen, without further do my friend, author actor podcast, her social media guru, Josh back that's what you were so interesting. I have been found, on you for a while, I think, maybe from vine yeah cause of jason NASH Asher an arm. The end, and so I and I and I know I know Well, I know about you, your career, but just because you would that you know it's like fucking. Last night, I'm in the car with my wife and I'm

A google I go to your interests or your. What will call it says: Ben Kingsley and I'm like what the fuck to do with Ben kingsley, because I love ben kingsley space dude, the wackness is one: my favorite movies. I didn't realize that was you know, you're fucking good in that, because you it also thing is, I know you I know of your career through the nickel. the staff and then and then the vine that the youtube, the the the social media stuff. Do you are you you fuckin, killed it in the blackness. That is the mocking one of my favorite movies use no fucking good in it. You did this dude. You had this vulnerability and that movie that was so relate bore. It was such a great fuckin movie. Thank you and I'm sitting here, going like a minute whilst I go in- and I play the trailer Lifelike- should be one genocide you won't get it

you think. I'm alive won't get it now. I've doesn't get things, wilfully doesn't get things. I think she enjoys not getting. They unpleasantly not get. That meant that movie kind of was designed. I feel like it was. This story told her for boys little bit music, the hip hop it I'm right that the weed everything is about and then and then I'm in november, the way you're fuckin team. This is a great a one page. I've got a great one page But there were like that's when you are at your lowest. I like wait. What little bit I mean certainly like the height of my sort of drug days really by probably worked you no art imitating reality. In that way, or your mouth in that movie, because because I am I say this because I I haven't I am. I am a mouth breather me too, is actually give a bite. Problems, have a bite issue or survive I've had we have some, I bite issue, I'm going to the dentist after this. Are you yeah too, because I only have two teeth that touch right now I have an underbite, and so I don't I

literally. Look like chrome magnum, like that. I'd like I didn't, evolve. Haven't overnight, but it's even old, when by. Let me do that. Yeah yeah me too, media yeah that your mouth in that I know this sounds crazy, but like it just it spoke williams of the character and is one billion. I am amount breather, and so I will catch them. I at my most vulnerable with my mail, just wide open, just talking a thorn. like my my lying down and it's funny. It's for whatever reason identified with the character and you have to work with method, men and I think that the main focus of us today, I remember we were, and I think this is speaking out of school we're doing pressed for the movie and we were doing like oppressed don't get any says to the publicist like yo. I need that backpacker, my there was in the car when I got here and she was all the car.

Went for the day like we're gonna have a new car can pick you up. He goes nah nah not like that. Backpack is forty thousand dollars in cash in it like. I need that now and I was like some better get met. The man is money. What does it was about guys and cast that it's such a leg never have cash on me. Really. I never have cash on me. I never credit cards anymore. I don't have apple pay. What are you doing up? No, I do. I don't buy things. Never really. Honestly. I like My my world is a little bit famous. By that I mean I guess I am but the, but I have it seem why one was on the road and then went home, I'm never. I never go anywhere. So what? If I'm on the road? I have an assistant, a tour manager and my cousin Andrew everyone's got company cards, so they always pick up the tab back and that's famous cache.

labelling that does it really now you say that like yeah, they are, but I, unlike last night. Where did in running, didn't bringing a wallet and some was like. I'm just so used to not having no one, not even thinking where my while this yet Adam what about idea a famous we will never have I d ye. Also funny is, I do not ever happened. yeah, but you might all my wallet and- and I have not need an idea. for anything really even like at the airport. Its is clear right so an end. I go through a different. I go through different entrance, so why you're so um is it the there's, a famous guy wing at el exe now right, ligaments especial where special waiting. It will be at the expense of other way. Just so we're clear. I've heard it's quite expensive. It, sir! Well, it's not it's! It's very doable. If you

if you're flying by yourself, but no one ever really is. But if you find by yourself six hundred bucks extra hm yeah, right here by the membership remembers, employment is getting better. So its membership, and then you are also paint six andean tom. I think I d love to be accredited. I didn't even ask, and I like it so things I don't even want to know about, because I go because I got it the first time I got it. My parents were coming out and I knew that you could go in that way out that way, and so I said hey, I know I've done it before. I done it an influence for shit, none that was an influence or by remember reaching out to them and saying hey. We're going to shoot a video we'd love to try this thing out there like yeah, and they cant that and flew me in a helicopter home, and I just put it in social media gorge and I was like fuck yeah, it was great yeah and then and then the next time my parents coming out- and I was like hey reach out to that company and see if they can, I can have my parents.

Because what they do is that when you land they grab you off the plane to take you over there, you they grab your bags for you, and then they put you in a car and take you home. and then, when you fly out, you go there, and so I told my parents and they did it for my parents and then I was like- and this was like, the heat cope and we're still touring doing the driving tour tours right, and so I was like. I was like hey Kim, I'm gonna! I think I'm going to do that and that way I can keep my team in our bubble, keep us safe, and so we started doing it and then it just and then and then it it subtracted all airport anxiety from me, and so I will I'm a keep doing it. Yeah sort of the key to everything I mean now I a credit card that gets me into the delta sky club armenia brag, but even then It is like this

it played out. I mean I, I feel like it's rich people problems, but you go in there and I'm like this is just sort of like a a crappy cracker board and like a bunch of people who think that their fancy like take rolling cause I'll tell you let me where you ready for this. This is my this is my fucking moment. I had it the other day. Guy was baller sitting in first class yeah and he was treating people as I can. I get can get a drink of your excuse. I'm give me one second surnames, like you, pay a lot of money for these tickets know, and- and I know I was sitting next to him and he's he was acting important and I said so. Maybe we should just fly private and he was like what, as he should fly private and he goes. He goes. What? What do you think that

plus who's a austin to l a. I said: it's twenty three thousand dollars and he said how would you know that nest eggs? I almost flew private, going to sit next to you, yeah, that's awesome and I wish I had, but I can't I can't pull the trigger on private. I have a really hard time with that yeah wait: you gotta be rogan level to do private all the time. What rogan, ass private didn't private is private as a private, as is for people who cannot be around people because it becomes problematic. Yes, like rogan can't fly commercial yeah. He can't fly commercial in life. He can't liver commercial life. I mean he's he's changed his idle Thank you met dinner on purpose. I really don't think you did, but he bade life problematic for for being in the public gallery. He cannot. He cannot go into an airport, they meaning

too many people will want to stop, take pictures with them, but then you'd also have people wanting to give them a piece of his mind of their mind. Yeah like it would just be bad guys getting in every direction and like a like Tom Tom doesn't fly commercial cigarette doesn't fly commercial really ever secure. I feel I could I mean no hate agrees mayor but, like I feel like you know, he wears the right baseball guy. One the nicest him ever. He looks like a dad he's thinking every day. He's me and him were in an elevator to get together at I mean he'll. Do it he'll tell you this? I get recognized all the time. I'm sure I think, because I'm approach Well, people known approachable, yes, they dont mind doing to take. Looks me and then going oh, I know you. Similarly elevator and the guy in the guy goes. Oh shit looks at me. Goes you the machine and I'm standing right next to the and thumb I am not. they look to be seen. I am tom. Baton is also he's doing.

Europe is doing arenas so that that's one guys any flies. Private. and he and tom does not have a money problem, investing reinvesting money in himself. He does not have a problem spending money it. I have a real problem spending money. I do too, but do you I come from none of the money money but like you, will live in nice and tampa area yeah. My dad was allure. My mom was a teacher and good benefits that we are houses, two hundred fifty thousand dollars, which is a lot back then I think maybe it was one hundred and eighty thousand dollars when club sports but tell us by Gough, played in eighty bore the ouse Zabel, I'm different than you. I was an athlete and who have had the performance bog

as I feel like you from what I know- we're performance based. Basically, I mean not to tell you your story but like basically based on living in new york, single mother and kind of just I mean I listened. You have listen to you talking a bunch podcast now, but er, and so I don't think I've got export, wasn't gonna get been asking for. You know, and I was a chubby asthmatic leg. Thank god I had performing is what else was gonna be like math? Let you just wasn't looking good for me. But I yeah when I found comedy it just was like this natural sort of I mean you know, I say my book like you, can be too much of a lot of things. You can be too nice to emotional, but you never too funny like it's never at new to never be too funny, and it's a magic trick greatly when it's done well. People like, oh, my god, do it again. Like where did this come from act? I? U for forming in europe, would like ten ten

yeah scent of clubs in new york, and so I wondered tat. We never even I never saw you. I think you are already doing all that. I say have flown out to do. The amanda show when I was a twelvemonth turbines yet many lines and that's it romeo delay, but I started a ten doing like five minutes. It stand of new york and catch rising star in gotham and, like I just said this tight five minutes. Then I went to doing it on conan, ambrogio donal, and it was like my stick: the kid comedian and a new we're out doing television by the time by like- Ninety, no I'm afraid think, meanwhile, ninety nine you're out already doing television right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ninety nine earth like right after I was posts bar mitzvah, and I remember that I got like the call from the president. Nickelodeon he's gonna fly you in your mind outlay, and you beyond the amanda show and my mom being like the single mom and me being an only child like if I had a dad in the mix, he would have been like what what about algebra yeah? What about our life,

My mom was like we're going like. If we hate it will come back, but we should do this cause. This never happens again, six months after the men to show we may Draken Josh, and that was kind of the thing that changed my life. That's what your relations there mom seems complicated, but yet very close soup. super close, I mean it. I think, no matter what you're that close, there has to be some complication to a raven. Then, in some way she gave up her life for me and then in other ways like I still was just a kid, and so we ve We should like navigated those waters, but she yeah I be. She was my custom motto like without her. I would have been no, where no matter how much sometimes we but heads, but that's just being like hot blooded juice. We can't her up our sucks,

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and then he had this well timed separation of six hours with just enough time to hook up with my mom and then take her out to dinner and she got pregnant and he was like wait. I'm sixty two, like my kids, are grown. My life is good. yeah, so the moment she said she was pregnant. He was like I'm out, it's a wrap like we're done, and I I never met him and he passed away and I never got to meet him. You'd and I'm not I'm not get serious book. But what about it? As I think you appreciate this yet as a comic one of the things that are authentically unique to an experience where you go? Who, as this is, this is an odd pairing- was that you said one. Are you felt when you found out? He died the your morning, your mom bring someone that you never met. Yeah explained explain that if you can, because that is so juicy to me, yeah it, it seemed unfair because do

so my life. I just figured like you, can't miss something you never had ended I knew so many men who had issues with their dad. Knowing never make your dad fuck. I wish I had ever met cause like you know that can be the words sometimes and die and so book what happened was through all my life. I loved having this emotional grenade that I knew that I could just show up in his legs. I knew he lived in Florida like most older tour skies, and I was like oh at any more and I could unleash these sacred made on his life and show up and blow up is spot with this. Kids and all of a sudden he's not like cool country club guy, like he's the guy like who's, the philandering dick, whose family never knew about you. I assume not just because they're like a big family, and you know, you've seen them on facebook and stuff I'm on facebook and I'm not exactly hiding. So I assume they'd probably want to be like. Oh, we should probably meet the guy from drake and Josh is also a half brother, but do you think they know

would you I dunno? No, I don't think they know that I mean that's insane to me because there might be someone listening going, there's no way that was my dad and then it's their dad dude. I think they do writing this. Stupid book? There's one hundred percent a chance. I'm gonna meet these people now and never did the desire not against it, but I wasn't seeking it out, but my buddy boy Cobble men optimum, what a fucking name yeah, I'm a low brain compliment. Deeds may give it a recent news, like hey my nieces sitting there. Still aroused, and but I had already left, Never mind about by romania and renewal. There's has no, he he, you know, wrote the movie rounders in the oceans movies now billions and super palm crushing it in and when he read the book is my the thing was always like. I have no intention to meet my siblings cause. I don't want to blow up for them whatever image they had of their debt because of that so fucking. That is very for lack of better words christian,

I would never do that What would you do with you? How would you show up give us a play by parliament because of our backs I've been thinking about this morning. I don't I dont. You know my wife, because I want everything to be forever perfection thing It might got a green light last night, I'm doing this podcast with whitney this week and they're playing truth or dare, and I sit in and leanne's like he just see, no truth or dare like you can't kiss anyone else. I wouldn't kissing when I said that would have generated some shows up, I guess, or she has yeah you- can it branson. I was like okay cool, solid

I definitely am and so generated since my went out. Did you look into it like a pack? Are we talking like a letter? I'm not even going to come, naming the question, I'm going full fucking till yeah, you gotta brush my teeth and everything so, but I was thinking about that today and I was thinking about your your. There is a thing that happens when you get successful, where you start going Yeah. I bet you wish there's some that you get a year of it a year of being real city yeah. When you get some success where you start saying. I bet you wish you had paid attention to me. You see your dad in your, and I was wondering how you felt about that when you started blowing up- and you were like, did you ever say to your mom? Do you does he? Do you think he knows this is me? Do you think he knows that I'm successful? Do you think he knows that he missed out that his son, these all these great kids? but one of them is a fucking star on television right now, and that is the one he chose

Not to hang out with did you ever have those feelings, because I would have those feelings yet I I don't know I I don't think so. I think, like oh, my god, you're so much better, good football. I'm certainly not. I just like for me It just was always like is even then right cause. I was like it the silver lining of why I never got too impressed with myself was because, like I was famous, but I was fat so that held me back. That was like that was kind of like this redundancy, or this is it is this governor on me saying like well yeah. I have the cb show, but I'm not comfortable in my body right, I'm three hundred pounds and I'm seventeen. So even though, like I could go to a party or I could date the queue girl or could be like cool. You know working actor at the seeds like I'm just too insecure to embrace it. So then lose all the weight banal, disliked the kid actor whose probably going to be a cliche, like all data, suggests, and I'm not going to do the wax.

some are going to make it out and be thirty five and been able to say in the business costs For a reason, dyer there's, like you, know, a thousand other kid to perpetuate that stereo type and so I was just never too hot on myself and then right you're that self awareness that, like that zero human beings, have going into this business, but was it awareness or just insecurity? By the way, I think it does and Dan? I don't want to get crushed in the comments for that either way. She's incredible Will you know she is she's, a star of euphoria, brushes crusher for you. Neither, but I've heard good things. Susan spiderman, J, hold on dating Tom HOLLAND in real life and what a cup roars rival job do and she's a didn't know her way way way way way way way. We want to see him, I saw, I know something she was in spiderman

oh no, you call em an inevitable that either what other dangerous in space sham dune, dude, maybe nerve, and doing now. I see and do math or whatever and shake it up, no keeps growing twenty one. Twenty four jump street. No, I fucking don't know by recognize her, but I don't know what I saw a very famous. Really I mean that's right away. You know what she just like in this. I can succeed around dead on I've. Never seen any of these movies. I've seen any of the madrid. I don't know you know and actually never seen eightys, but these are the top world sought out. Maybe something what would you A child star in like with wizards of waverly place that was Myra wizards of waverly. That's what that's! What we watched with the jewels yeah, your kids watch said jake and Josh and in those shows, are,

is too before their time. I dont know what one was the dragon. Does it mean It was on from like two thousand till, like two thousand and seven but, like I say in the book, there's no residuals and kids tv silly they rerun it today like it's on. They were now I don't know they were not to be by note. I watch with them yet, and one of the things was wizard of waiving the place. Is leeann leeann. Wouldn't let made them stop watching it. She didn't like the way the kids talked to their parents right, cause, they're, sassy, yeah yeah and landed like that, so she pulled the plug on that, but well- I don't I I I knew Jake and I knew object and draw Josh just because it's in the am I have a buddy who is working nickelodeon steve more male. Ok did the tv show at the girl that a demi lovato, that was no forget her shop, yeah, some something yet put in and- and I think I do

and for stuff, like that, next time, yeah yeah, just I like to play the data to play the copper to play the you know. Whatever was there, I was there a point where, where you got so big in your comedy career just relax out? I don't have the audition anymore and I'm glad I know I know It was obvious that I think people were like. Oh, I think big. is that what he would say be others and I'm so bad about this. I can't give you guys I might bad. I am horrible soda. Now. When I did. I just did a movie and I found out in doing it that that I am better. I can only learn lines with blocking, so if you block me you show me word to. I can't learn lines and just singer and tell him you check as I blank out, but if you tell me where it go to say the line or what the motorway

white, like I'm very direct directive, yes and so on. and an audition when you just stand and deliver deliberate, just not my strong suit, and I and I I am misread things on dyslexic to our misread things and then I will miss, say them in the script and then all change the meaning entirely or I will decide I too is reason, replied people's comments that peoples and a comment to me and I misread it and I'll get angry yeah and then someone to go. That's not what I said number the cup and then they're like we'll, keep it up big guy and I was like I thought they were talking about. That's not what they're saying so, I would and I'd add add, add, add accents like it's really bad. I was really bad at auditioning, and so I just stopped auditioning entirely. I was like I was like I'm not going to book anything and I was like an so just pull me out of the fucking mix and I just focused on podcasting stand up, and now I was, I won't audition no you won't get out of it. We have you what

I actually take that back. I'm not I'm not really good at I'm. Also, not really good at doing a project that I didn't create shows. I have a hard time. I have a hard time with like fucking the weirdest things like I can't sit in a trailer and then and then wait for someone like I want. I want to be on set only watching ought to be moving around the important thing pitching I want to be, and I want to kill me now the reason tat I want to be watching everyone's performance. I wanna write so like I'd like to to make things by its I'm. Not I wouldn't be good to be just cast something, but it take the catch. Twenty two of obviously stand up. Now with podcasting them? It's totally one hundred percent in your hands, but even be like me, who like do the influencing thing in social media? What not like, similarly, I've had some really nice success. Lately, my career, doing like you, know the chauffeur hulu and I'm doing this a small

in this christopher nolan movie. You I get. It makes no sense to what is your right now here. Oh opposed on that Similarly, like grocer during the chauffeur disney plus for the last eight months- and it's like I'm like sidney, set literally doing the thing that I would like this? Is it I'm not a cliche like I'm, not like every other kids star and I've made any sellers are part of it. I mean like what am I doing for three hours. I could have knocked out like three tick: tacs, okay, a youtube video right now, so I I got offered a role is in I am I get offered. I got off a road straight offer in a bid to I'm going to edit this out. If I put it out there, I will get this. Struck by the internet. I got in it's gonna bug. I also take this out blatant. I just re past. I didn't even read it for anyone wondering its massive. Its massive ba terribly bleep around

I believe that and and and I I just passed and my wife and my daughters lost their shit yeah and I was like I don't really know I I cannot. I dunno I know myself well enough to know that to be like in a costume sitting in a trailer Today I start losing my mind going like I have so much should I could do the really matters to me, not that that one matter to me- but I don't know It's in my brain doesn't work like that. Like it's, not it's the same way. Your brain just said. I remember one time I did. I did a little thing for a for this company also he had a wife and they want me to do. Are these max things like this, like we're, just as agreed his green shirt and hair and makeup, and I started losing my fucking mind. Oh yeah I was like I was like. I can't I'm not I want him to home, I'm going on the road more now, just sitting there not being with my kids doings.

One. Where I just go. I can get someone else to do this, but I got offered. I did a. I did a voiceover for like one of the nickelodeon things and I I called them and said: Can I please give you your money back and I'll, give you more money to get someone else to do this cause? I don't want to do this cause. It just took too much time. It was way too much time and it's not, and it wasn't the creativity I joy it wasn't my I wasn't getting to utilise it right in a weird whales. Like I don't know it just wasn't me in oh, it's interesting is like and you can always be. It can always be all about you, but like the moments where I've done something where I've had enough, I don't know power, whatever it is where I just didn't care enough rousing. Listen! If you want me to do this, I no, you think this'll take three days. You have me for six hours like an promise you just where the giving some knowledge of how things work on my it isn't some massive one or

with special effects. It's going to require three days. If this is a back and forth sheer feel like I promise you, we can get it in six hours and I'll be ready. I won't, You down are going to take it as read that we started. they that they ve done it, but, but you can always. push them like that sometimes like. Well, if we do that for you than everyone else gets after the process, so but I'll tell you what where, where I wear my logic in this box up, because I am speaking about the whiteness, I would love, I would love to have that your performance. I would love to have that as something I could look back and go. I did that. I'm sure you throughout the whole process. It was a lot of actor.

The shit where you had to sit in a trailer and vulcan wait and you and I and I don't. I Don'T- have the bandwidth to do that because, like I remember cigarettes are fucking rollins mark marky mark movie and I was like I asked him how much he paid and he told me- and I was like: why are you doing the weight moves and he was like for a month? He does sit in hotel for a month and I was like taking a cut. I'm not even nothing. One podcast it was you doing it for one part carried in one minute when he makes in one minute he was one month and it just. It makes an eye I could get my head around it. It's Emily doings imitate the wax. Israeli, like it was a smaller budgets. You know that you're going to be moving right cause. They can't like time, is literally money in that scenario, I'd like to in those yeah you'd like and it's so an index. You feel, like everyone, no one said for the money everyone's there cause. I believe in this script. Let's bootstrap and let's figure this out. I like that and

and then when you're working with someone like I mean I am so glad to hear that Ben kingsley's, one of your favorites cause he's like my hero, mixer, bad dude and like I remember the first day of filming with him. It was our third day of filming total and he comes up to me and he goes. You know this pot chose you. Now I dunno if he says that to everyone he works with, but at the a moment I was like. Will you be my dad? You and and then you just doing these scenes and it's got and it's moving at a good pace and you're working off a guy like this. We I've seen you like. While I can be good with the right people and good writing and good directing lake cassettes, really what it is you could put. You know you could put out bettino in a lifetime movie like there's just a ceiling on how good it can be all right. We have changed all our mattresses, our house, to helix mattresses, and I have gotten the best. sleep of my life, I did not know I was we ve been on the wrong mattress for so long. We, I told you win

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Does she dot com slice, bert cast for ten percent off yet think I would enjoy. I would enjoy bootstraps. I would join more independent stuff, yeah cause. I like that's how that's what I like. I think the thing I don't like is the the larger production were, you know, were worth o. The the one page takes an entire day to shoot. You haven't got time to burn yeah. I like I like the fuck him I like that and so yeah I wouldn't be. I wouldn't be opposed to doing stuff like that. I I also like the collaboration. I like that's what I like about this business and podcasting and and stand up and doing a special and

All the things I'd like the cabin was really fun to shoot was fun. It was quick and move fast and you felt, like you, got a lot done in the day but yeah, but I'm still kind of taken aback that you never had those moments. I wonder if I feel, because I'm fat but you're an athlete you have see you are and athletic kid were carry were, chubby is again now writes to your big europe foundation is sound like so now yeah sure you got older and you did the dad moving got a bit of a guide and drank and enjoyed your let right, but like your dna is in like no, no I'm a sixteen year old, fucking stud, but you seem so put together now what took a lot of work, but but what was that? What was like taught tell me about the the declines and then the rebuilding did you lose me while doing drugs? No, I

ah sweden a while. I was soon tricking chassis between the third and fourth season. And die yeah between like seventeen to eighteen, I lost six hundred and ten pounds, mother fucker yeah. my biggest swing was. I went from three hundred to about two. one ninety and then right around then was when I discovered drugs and alcohol, and then I got down to about one seventy, and that was what drugs when people started to wear all of them. Really oh yeah total cliche road. I yeah man, it's like that What's wrong, what rumbling himself isn't it? I was on everything but skates like ours. Working late. I was that kid. It was bad and did your mom know you have an idea now right away. She just be like. Why does it smell like skunk in your room, that'd, be like he's theirs, wild animals north alleyway, that's so this whole time. Here no living with your mom. I

It's been a month with my mom's, I was nineteen and then me, living with my mom, was getting in the way of my drug habits. I was like ma: I'm gonna, get you an apartment in new york and you're, going to go back home, and live in our own neighborhood and it's going to be grey and she was a great like I've. Always you know, imagined I'd go home. I've been out here six years, but I lived my whole life on the east coast, in six months into her living there. She came home or she came now lay to visit and she was like I'm not leaving your fuckin mass, really yeah. So does this immune your members? Have such closely should because lived in health kitchen to go or in like a a studio or one bedroom, yeah like a five hundred square foot apartment, and that is crazy cause. I bet people hearing. This would be like whoa whoa whoa, like your mom lives on the couch, you have the bedroom right, we would switch so like we, we lived in a studio for luxury when we really didn't have any dough, and so there was

murphy bed, and then there was a couch routes or like switch off every other night and then event We got a little bit of money, but still it was new york. I I remembered that five hundred square for department that I love that was right by my school and it just reside this new beginning for us. It cost twenty nine hundred a month. five hundred square feet in ninety nine yeah, the tracks, ida, thousands wherefore apartment and I want to say it was like a thousand square foot apartment in the which I think I think I dunno how big it was, but I think our that's that's pretty big in new york yeah, it's a two bedroom yeah and it was weird we gotta forget what it was three thousand a month or four thousand Yeah, I don't I don't remember it. My memory is fucking shit the end. So then, so when

moved out here, and we moved into and avalon apartment complex in north hollywood. I'm, unlike you, know, an end granted its a bit of a misnomer, but people like you aren't draken josh the height of that. What was that, like? I was like I lived at the avalon in a two bedroom apartment, though, is nineteen hundred a month that had a full gym, a pool and a racquetball court, and we thought we were crushing it really like, but that was the height of my life. I was like, oh no, they we have a security guard like I'm, I'm crushing it six six seasons, four seasons. We did for seasons if they yeah and then what I'm trying to figure out what you, what your price blows? Probably at back, then mig, how much I made on the shelf, yeah or you'll have to say. I said in the book- oh yeah- maybe I maybe I did see that fifteen were making fifteen an app yeah yeah. Which obviously I mean you have to deal it

have you people think you're millionaires right, they think like mean nine hundred thousand bucks off of you know for season, sixty episodes, but we made half of that because of taxes and agent manager, and so over four years five years it was about one hundred grand a year now granted people have read the book have tweeted at me. Like you, asshole, like I work with kids mimic, de grandes here and I'm not here to get an document like you deserve way more money? If you work with kids and make that I just like comparatively, and I think what the pub perception was, was like nice middle class living, but you certainly wasn't you weren't set for life, but no, no, no, that's the that's! The problem is a people see you want to be and think. oh the rich when I was on travel channel, I was making less than making Josh Josh and by that think- and I am certain of it and at times

money fluctuated with that. It was a weird, so weird kind of deal net. The harder I worked. I could get bonuses something really yet the deal was structured, so there like. I really don't know what we're getting bribes owed but like if you divide he jumped? No, no! No! No, if, if they my contractors fur of certain amount of things, if they will use me over that, and then they paid penalties my contract. So then I got time and a half or two two times my pay now so they if they said we signed you for thirteen episodes this year, and I did twenty six episodes. Will then those other thirteen. That was where I made some money. So I and so adversity I would want work more and I'm gonna be away her from a more. I would get more money. Did you if you have any overlap with boarding during that time. Never Madame may we were at the network at the same time for like a second rate but never met him. The man yeah the dude Jeff.

he was. He was the reason that you know when we, when I got on travel channel. The reason I went on was Adam Richman, which, by the way you have no idea how much you remind me of Adam Richman were very similar humans, very similar him east coast, Jews, thick boys downvote, both both. horrible kid. He was adorable kid any both very close, your mom's yeah. Do you know him at all? I know Well, a little bit divine, vine and and stuff like that cause he he used to be yeah. He had a big following I'm fine yeah yeah. He was but him and bourdain the owners. I took the meeting for birth conquerors because Adam richmond's the people produced members who were producing birth, conquer and the only reason I wanted to travel generals talked about brodin. I've heard a you know whenever I've done like

met on reality shows or not, reality shows but shows like that. Raise got somewhat have like a celebrity host or whatever they say specifically don't bring up ordain in your meeting at all, because no one is for in every asshole things twilight food and I like travelling, and maybe that was the thing was everyone was trying to do bore date because it looks like the best job honour where and when you no one could report aim, because number. One- and I don't mean this disrespectfully- anyone could have done what he did

it. Ain't going around and having some meals show the difference was he wrote all his copy for voice over? He wrote it himself, so brilliant writer and he was a brilliant writer and he had an authenticity to him that didn't need him to perform master. He didn't mind sitting in the cut and and letting a moment breathe, and he also ran zero point. Zero, I think, did his production, but his production was his production when he went out on the road. He produced that, and I was told this by travel channel they're like you need to do an anthony bourdain does and you need to be in control of everything you need to I mean it could mean it was very traumatic when they do the guy told him that to me and then he quit travel channel. He was like I'm going to give you the tool, I'm gonna give you the keys to start the car they had run wall, take care any bounced anum. But

but bourdain ran ran. They show that was his show, meaning he made that for television every week. He made that by some and not everyone can do that, and I was told specifically a number of times. You are not anthony border issue a number of times, I've been in bad rappers, one time right before I got fired, but he was just he was just. He was a different type of dude. Think about how many he changed, the landscape of there was a period of time where I was like. I guess I should have gone to culinary school to get on tv right, because only chefs were on tv. He theirs is in in his dock. He's kind having his first meeting with the girl that he dated the asia Argento and in their time of a distressing, seems a con read nice. You seem like a real. I mean they're, this restaurant and she's. It's like her face

the restaurant in in ITALY and she's about to see the name. You don't see the name and she's like winds that you want to ruin this place. I have a problem with that. Tell me here's my problem so like so because I have a friend who who's like, I won't say his name, but he's like he's like you know what did like bill. Burr said we one time. He would tell me about a pizza place impasse and they loved. I. So what's the memory is I'm not saying on this than a ruin? It be not ruining. got it, makes peters you're, making his I've better, that guy makes great pizza is not not, he didn't, doesn't make them specifically for bill burr to get to enjoy. He makes them for fucking everyone and so like as a guy that that it's like it's like you imagine, if someone's like a who's, your favorite comic

I tell you I don't want to. I don't want to get successful, fills me with him. I think fuck off tell everyone. You word of mouth kills it. I understand that anthony boardgame once he said to me the place will become you. You will no longer be able to get a table there right because that's the thing, but the word of mouth I've never understood that have like. I don't want to Our ruins it won't be cool anymore yeah to public I mean I guess there. no look, monies always got more business. Businesses always give your running a business you want. The best you can do is help that business out right, That's the way my brain works. I am fascinated like kids like what you just you know, been able cousin, when the sea, where it on your podcast gas and like have no reservations about it, is that I could goods as a great palm colleague the new burdens, moreover, in a continent had no reservations

the guy that just got magic but like you're at this race, where you're like yeah, I don't have to worry about it like one won't have to worry, about asia or gentlemen fucking, that woman will never cross paths with me. I will have no, I think he molested a child. So look. I don't really have no have no. reservation zero calling work on at all an end by the way I it's like, I don't know, but have we like, seem pretty freedom in a great one. I am not knowing no, not aeroplanes like like. I also take an I hope, but that I believe like I don't have a lot of room for your ex your ex co star cher. I don't have a lot of I I do. I don't know why It happened with him or did not with him. have a lot of fuckin wiggle space in that territory. For how I feel about those things yes and and I understand that I bet. I understand that I dont, know all the things in that kid that I will say, namely that kid maybe like. Do you don't know what fucking

and I get that I totally get that by also like yeah I'll setting out what they think it's certain things they don't give flagged where people. If you know It just doesn't happen that way. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong but like so I don't have a problem so like I bite my tongue about that, because I don't know all the things sure but, like I didn't like his er genom, because I was ventilated, It was bourdain, he cheated. He dated her. He killed himself. I I just was like fuck. Her hardly give a shit about her yeah. No, I mean it's. I think there's like, but it's also in yourself made as you are, and people like, especially like. Instead, lips are rare in that way right! It's! It's literally. Like so of the industry mara was like you're done for whatever reason like, while my patriotic sought done. Like Brian,

special and giving it right to my audiences and done like you're? It's your slightly inconsolable. No, that's not true. Now arrogance porsche but like not, but not for over eighty gillis reason. No right, ok, psychology, pc reason so like I'm careful, but I ain't over, but if I, if I do so, I am sure I'm cancelled right: if you do something worth cancel over saying that side, like I'm a little oblivious to certain things that I am oblivious to certain things were like I really am oblivious to the fact that if I say so like the Jimmy carter, gonna wanna Jimmy coroner, Jimmy carbonated, joke about the holocaust and and recently yeah yeah, okay and I'm shocked that so many people are trying to cancel them because I was like he's. He was at. He was on stage holding a microphone and you are aware that the pray that everything said into that microphone was in,

tended to be a joke right where where's the. I can't have a lot of respect for the people, to don't understand that what he's trying to do is get laughin. like us. It's no good! That's what Jimmy does Jimmy does that better than anyone, this horrible, jokes, horrible, jokes, but like I can't stand at like some oblivious to that. I'm very oblivious to like I figure, whatever I say on stage and I've said horrible things on stage, but I assume people understand the intent was to get them to laugh sure that everything was always intended to get them to laugh in that part of my job is to take chances. I had a joke. I have a joke about a confederate statues that I that I worked out over the corner over over the quarantine when I was working it out on a drive in movie theaters and some clubs, and it was extremely rare

it's a stupid idea and I couldn't but I knew that and I knew the joke I was trying to make. Wasn't I just didn't know I had to you gotta figure it out you gotta find where the line is. I gotta I just gotta figure out what yeah it's it's like. I I want you to figure. You have to figure that joke out to tell jokes work because they're not her voice there. There there malleable than you you ve got a workman. Is it a bit of a common response to the audience in your introducing a new, better you kind of like? Is it here guys? Then you hear kind of like half laughs, half groans and you go okay. Gotcha like need to dial like half of this in, like it's really that's what the trying out period is for a joke and in you know, then yeah, I'm sure, that's sensible. So that's that's where I think I'm oblivious to that cause. I just go. Everyone knows I'm trying to make a fucking joke a guy called the wife of a whore overnight and an alarm

and I was like- I gotta- run that buyer deftly before I put in the special but short, but then I go mamma. I wonder if they got a laugh frequently. Woe, though the idle I'm I'm hyper aware of. Like things I say now more. I was I mean we were like when podcasting started. It was the wild wild west. Yeah I mean it was like, and I did I did rogan recently. I did five and a half hours and they pulled it down and had to edit something I said out of it. I think really. I dunno I just I closed my eyes and put my head down. I just started walking that day and was like just pray. I guess might have said. The united states government create a cupboard. I dunno you start thinking about. I mean whoa now you're in a place where, like okay, if it all in somalia, just like all right. So what what am I know but like do you ever like us another, but what it is like a thought for those gotta go down Hopefully they view but, like I said things in it, ok, my best friend works in tracking and he's got.

It's pretty high, like he can go yeah go ahead. I separate that truth at the airport southwest. Maybe you could do the business seats. You know where you get the arabs, I would, though I don't know I thought I updated about emphasised about it- identifies about it. Yeah I've thought about it. I thought about. Probably I can't I wouldn't not working entertainment, so you'd want to. Even if to me, thou be harder right like I got shouted. What I really want to do so now I'm gonna work like as a creative exam, like my lab in turn, my back on it I would cause. My thing is so I might thing is less so funny. My fear is not.

getting cancelled, although I may not, but I think about it, just some shares the same way. Everyone else does and that's not really at the front. My big thing is deaf and and so like, as I think about cause, it's like you may or may not get cancelled. You're definitely gonna die yeah. That's where my like. If we're talking about or my other thing is like what, if I have a stroke, and I lose the vote, my face and the left side of my body and then almost and the nurse yeah. It's raining, you can't, you can't do stand it anymore, because people can't watch you know or like or like what, if I get burned, really bad like those those are. Those are the things I really think about wow and so fatalistic yeah, and so then I would I've tried to think of what can I do? Maybe I could do radio I couldn't do a podcast Video components are so heavy. Maybe I could do talk. Radio get a nice like lump sum, You know, I don't know. I think about that

as I think, about moving back to florida might, but we couldn't- I don't know if I could sell cars will cause you you're still that guy from that thing, like an that's, the pie I see that in the book to its like no one walks away from showbiz on their own accord, like no one really why unless you're so big would be cool, though you I mean like see. Martin is awesome at the banjo cause. He's fucking, Steve, martin music. I crossed so I guess the banjo will be my next frontier, but for most of us it's the your anyway sees people who, like do. A bad reality show about reality show, but they had such a moment. They were so dope, and now this and its we act are eagle won't allow them to be like the best real estate agent in Dallas. What? But? What about this? Because, as you said that I thought.

like I'm a I'm at a I'm at a a a a hustle clip right now, where it's it's, it's cannibalizing itself, like I'm fucking, burning it at both ends. consistently touring I'm putting on this new calmly festival that I'm launching. movie with another move, but to other movies or workin on all this, and I go one if there's a solace in like in just getting on maker, whatever game night. As on tv ass, her you know like like just and being that celebrity. That goes yeah. I commend, as with the stars yeah like just maybe there's a solid isn't that, where you go yeah, I'm just famous for famous sake and I just pay the bills by doing whatever the fuck, and I don't really give up like, maybe I like reading so like sitting In a trailer and reading you know like if I liked I'm more muslims, I'm stupid. So if I sit in the trailer, I just sit there

oh, like come on where we live in a like yeah, maybe that there is a lack of a real coolness and being I dunno. I I really. I really thought about chelsea handler. A lot at a steward seemed like she just didn't walk away from the business, but she walked away from like touring band took a break and I was like thou because fuck yeah to like legit, take a break and be like how much money do you think you need? to do that in and could you do that it divert the money thing I always think about like what are you going to if you like, are in good investments? What's your not like? What are you going to live off of? So if you got you got twenty mil in the bank. You get like seven per cent interest. You getting one point. Two million year I mean that's a nice siphon you're, not crushing principle yeah, but not that I've thought about this Yeah principle, I mean that to me, I'm like that's the goal, that's where you want to get me. Maybe you're not going to the private room at the airport, but you live in

asking gonna name. I don't need a by the way. If I didn't fight every fucking weak toad, I wouldn't need it if, but if I flew once every blue moon, re elected irregular person lives where they go. Y'all go off like to go on vacation yeah, like I listen to a dude, go on the plane next to me yesterday yesterday yesterday, and he was like he's on the phone with his wife and he was like honey. I just don't know if it's worth it, you know traveling once a month. You know it takes it's toll and I went once a month. I wanted to be like listen, bitch, yeah, yeah, glib living, fucking life, I got off stage at fucking midnight I went over to the bar at penn. State hung out did pictures until two in the morning got on a bus drove to DC, had four hours sleep on a road to dc from fucking penn state right. Again got a plane, I'm going home, I'm I'm working

I got one week off and then I'm back on for another month and then and I'm like, I just look at it like. If I could be at guard. I wouldn't need any that private suite any of the the fly private ever ever. I could just going to trip with your family vacation. How fun would that be good? The airport in the airports, fun you're like enjoy the air what all premier sit upon yeah like love, that oh huts You see you and the mighty occasions are vacations dirt, like literally a time for me to decompress compressed ngo, like at all someone else gets ready for the vacation. I don't think I don't think I have vacation the same way. Everyone else gets to vacation. Do you have hobbies no not meet for people like us? It was fun hobbies hobbies. I had a therapist tell me. I needed a hobby one time I go. I write jokes yeah yeah. I obsess I that's so funny to hear someone go. I was like I've took a while. I, the therapists made me get one hobby, and so I took her

leather making leather toys and I made one fanny pass and they never met anyone jargon as can I go. I could the submissions what I want the market to be so much so as we would like it, what is it? What does a day in your life? Look like I didn't its old three cell phone itself, so I drive him. The school every morning and then in a normal day, it's like literally, I mean I'm really big. On my going that, like us, soon acting class every week I stay. I just want to see ready. I wanna see prime for whatever's coming next and might be his thing. Is that imposter syndrome so funny? I would never I don't never. I could not sit in an acting class to save my fucking life you might like it. I do it over zoom. So it's like a whole other level now because out of kobe

My teacher started doing it and soon she's, like you know, I'm coaching mot, most people for tv and movies and instead of being like in a black box, theater and you're fifteen feet away from me. I can kind of see like right here on the. dreams, it's kind of better, and so yes, I'll do that. But I have my podcast male models that I'll do and then it's a really its social media because, unlike this is gonna sustained me, so that I don't have to take some job that I'm gonna hate that just because it came around or or yeah. I mean it's. The social media for years was like this blessing than occurs, because my ego hated this idea that, like started in traditional in it seem like. I was no longer relevant in that space, and now that lucky enough to have both worlds, and so I feel so lucky to have the things I have friends who are like actors whose careers I'm alice up like journeymen actors do even like you know I like

I like my buddy, I'm working with right now, Michael in Grano, whose, like you know, you may, not know his name right away, but he's been in so many good things. Some of them see them he's worked with soderbergh and and check them out, he's totally crushed and g angarano. No, not Angie Angie's, but he's he's crushed it been in so many good things and I am trying to think of what like did you ever watch that show the nick or that movie hey? Who is he and almost famous? He was young, the young patrick. If you get character, we would you mean what, easily, so he was. I got that he was a kid version of him. Do you know like that? flashbacks, when he's a kid with frances mcdormand yeah wait debate, we would wasn't all movie in a flashback back.

I'm I'm the worse. You ve got a fucking. We got back from drinking penn state, oh he's makin, yet But here's where I mean he's he literally like crushes, and I have like a lot of friend, my buddy brian charity, who is in a flight and boardwalk empire, and all these things like they we're like they have careers, I'm jealous out other members. Guy really fuck him axe, yeah dude, but this is what happens like there's a lot of these guys who are like these journeymen guys. You just do good show after good show by again you're still slightly at the mercy of like I gotta, get that next gig someone's gotta be like you're, the one and for real use about that's really bothers It is like an accident putting no work into my acting grew and I'm I seen you and I think, you're fucking awesome go you so you like, I feel, like I feel like. I feel a tea. I martinez. Like almost stand up.

to stand up and you're like not just stand up. Let's be honest. Forty five minutes in a fucking arena stop an arena. Got booty, got booed, offstage, so yeah, but it's unlike a a part of me goes. I wish I had that confidence that he has. Where he's like, I'm ready to start headlining and I'm like cause I've. I've been doing it a very long time and I'm I I I and then I watch the set and there's I was like. I was like not the best, but it's it's observational comedy, which is odd sure. It's like some seinfeld shit, yeah. Here's the deal nice, He was like you don't want to. You don't want to date, a girl who knows the I mean the premise is kind of off, but was like talking about well, I'm not shitting on the yard. By the way I liked it. I liked the I and I'd like to see them both, I think, there's a lot of rappers. That would be great stand. Ups method, man redman,

killer MIKE. I there's a lot of wrappers. I would love to see. Do comedy and I'd love to see tat. The idea comedy I would love to watch him do comedy. I would also like to sit with him and tell him where he's, whereas holes in his game are yeah, and I and I but it's interesting that I don't think tee. I believes I m from what I've heard. I heard it doesn't sound like he really believes that I would have any insight to give him. You know like it sounds like he's he's pretty much set up, pretty much got it, but like I'm good T I and you're like you and you're, like you can't deny it is. The I true is what I mean pound for pound was one of the best rappers in the game. With with yes, I I would put him up against his verses against a lot of fucking people and they go head to head tia's pro lithic he's

certified famous sir and is, and by the way one of the most charismatic I guarantee you. He could talk my pants off me and then escalate very quickly and I'd be like how the fuck naked or denali or denali? Is it's better purchased I have been a high- and I see the bottom, but I would love to watch him work, I would love killer, might do stand up. Do you like about you? Yet I mean, I'm a crazy fan, but killer MIKE is already like who says that I think marion always talks about how like kynaston was sort of like gum. He came from like he was son of a preacher or like how kennison sort of contaminate the way he spoke was like that of like a revival. Preacher a tent guy you're, an how like every community, it's kind of a reverend and every reverence kind of a community right, and I think of him

or make that way too. I mean you hear mom bill Maher mean he's talking about these like weighty subjects and yet he's able to have this sort of levity to it, which is, I feel like, would serve him great and santa one of the things that, like there's a I love comedians, there's a comedian, Brian simpson, and he has such a brilliant insight and I think that's what I am excited about when I hear tea I or comedian rappers getting cars. What's the I has a brilliant insight into life like meaning he's just very he's, a very smart dude. The way he sees things is off to left him describe Brian simpson, who's fucking hilarious. He is, he was on the podcast and he said things were. I was just like what the fuck like his insight. That's why we that's why your insight about having to mourn someone that you didn't know yeah was so fuck it I like it it just it's a one of those things that I think.

I pack and go? Oh. I don't think that deep about things sometimes I just feel them and then we go through them and then I'm like. Oh my you know, I'm not the most introspective person at times I couldn't be like the dad right after he died and went. My dad was in his eighties when he died. She didn't have much of an online footprint and I'd never seen even a photo. Look like I'm well, yeah I'll show you the photo. It's wild. because I found pictures of him? I wanna looking up my sister. It's because I knew their names and they had facebooks. Instead, then, in fighting Their profile suddenly was. This treasure trove was unleashed of him at permits, was in weddings and throughout his whole life in these tributes to him. After he passed sake of what a great dad he was and how much his kids loved him- and I realized that I couldn't be the er but of the ultimate right like what he was to me. Wasn't the only part of him cause. He seemed to also be this great dad. Just to them like what I needed him to be for me, while he was for them and the

We're talking about complement before and isolated when a blow up their image of what they have their father and complemented yeah, but don't you think be his daughter or somebody has a suspicion that, like dad, would come home, some nights with like a look in his eye or, come home slowly like pickles, because my mom in him, when Alfred delhi, after the fact that with egg shot out my leg and that you would almost be like giving them some sort of like insight or almost like relief, no yeah. I agree with yours ears, my take so my two sides, so my my eye I don't want to know more about my dad that I know now perfect. Leave it to be yeah. They my dad dies tomorrow,

I do not want to know that yet another family I dont, want it like that. Would I would there would Portas I saw my relationship with my dad. Now it's it's, but they woods interesting that you chose to just kinda, not be the grenade yeah- and I was just in in having to mourn him. It was when he died like that grenade got taken away and I was pissed I was like. Oh I can't. I don't have this power over him anymore, cause he exited like he. He finished with a clean slate, at least for him did did I did your mom talk about them. She was lovely about him, my mom, I have deeper credit for a lot of things. This, especially till I was like fifteen. All I knew of my dad was he was dislike. And some great sort of business person. She moves are charming guy who, just like the only cabbie outlawed.

was he wanted nothing to do with me, but otherwise, really think great great guy is tablets. Does I will speak to you? Does not fuck with me but otherwise the bass nina like a jewish, james, bon walking on park avenue and like a Brooks brothers suit and then as I got older, she kind of like soley was like well. Yes, he was those things until I got pregnant and then like I, I tell the story in the book that she she was a I'm I'm pregnant and it's yours and he goes no. No, it's not and she those trust me it is, and so she went and got a paternity test with her doctor and he was like this is fake. Your doctors on the take like this is a friend of yours, I want you to go to my doctor into she dade and my I'm says I showed up. I saw the doktor, I see the doctor go and make a call, and then the nurse comes out to me and says you can go cause she's, like

I met the fact that I was there in calling his bluff the doctors, if she's here she's, not afraid, he was like and then he never spoke to her again until like I was ten months old and she took him the court, any kind of like minded it did the irregular or money he didn't. Even he didn't want it on the books. So he basically like my mom. His best friend was her lawyer who, like happened to be alert but now family law like and basically he took the lawyer sign was like. If I give you

at that time like I don't even know what it was wasn't a lot of money, but it was probably like between fifty and one hundred grand like to just go away and- and that was It- she took it and was like cause- I'm not going to shake I'm not going to chase the sky for the next eighteen years and and he exited that was the last time while there's a skirt, it's so heavy to me, cause it. It does end up defining someone without it, meaning to like it does put a thumbprint on you of of that you don't like. Maybe you don't know or didn't like you, don't know it's there. You know yeah like it's. It's it's interest like a. Must one of our friends grow up without it without a dad black dude grow up without a dad, but it's interesting the things I see in him that I I know. Okay, I think that's that's because you didn't know your dad like what I can't well

just like reactions, her interpersonal physicality, but very like because I think, because there was a man in the house I crossed my leg. No, no, no! No! No! No he's willing to get physical he's willing to fight right and I'm like I'm like MIKE. I wonder if that's because one I just always wonder like someone, I'm not willing to fight bob, I remember there was in there was an alpha in my house That would put me in my place. If I and then I know I don't know, but it's it's fast in me and your insight about it is fuckin. In the same. We certainly have to be our like. Were these weird partners to our two there's, a it son incestuous, but we are like where the man of our house and even We tend to have these incredibly domineering strong mothers. I age, My mom used to like if I fucked with my mom, that she would talk to me like I cut her off in traffic because she had to be both parents. She never hit me, but I feel like she. I have no problem cursing. The outcome was like when us wish you to do, but then,

but I was also her protector and I started to walk around with like this chip. my shoulder, which was, I don't talk to me like I am my age, not realizing. The world doesn't know my story, they don't know that I'm the man in my house, they just know now you're thirteen year olds, not know scared, like we talked to you like a cade unlike right, but I'm also the man of my house, so We require in actual level of respect. Unlike my wife, will have to tell me to this day. Thirty violet they're, not disrespecting you charge they're tourists in their own world, and I'm like. Why might have to right this injustice is a good fucking luck, you idiot so wait. So how did you lose the weight I just? It's boring. I started eating better and working out more, but I had no foundation so, like I too loose, I lost sixty pounds. You said your mom, you why you, your mom would- wait, wait. Yeah Madame had like her issues. You are my whole life going in a whitewash

There's meetings in these things, so I knew I was of food- is a menacing force to the pact's like it's If I don't figure this out now. I might never, and I knew my mom well into her forties and fifties was still working on it and inside I lost sixty pounds and I went into the gym shat out my first trainer Rinaldo and he was like we're going to do a pushup and I was like good one. I cannot do a push up and he's like. Well, then we'll do it from your knees. I said even better one I can been doing from my knees really and he's like okay, well you're going to do it from your knees and I'm going to get a towel and wrap it around your waist and I'm going to like anchor you and take some actual weight off your arms and you're gonna? Do is this time you like to forty two, forty yeah, but just no. You most guys who get heavy in their twenty and thirty as they have a great foundation, so they're still reasonably athletic, just limited by their size, but I had no foundation

a nation so you'd, never oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you'd, never benched like ray, I like every guy, I knew by freshman year. You you were mandatory, could bench one thirty five ten times that like does every dude? I grew up with one thirty. Five was like the two forty four forty five on each side right and to this day, and then, by the time you were a senior you could do to twenty five once everyone can do to twenty five. Once I was to forty five, this is when I tried to do to twenty five three times what happened, what the fuck out just pack popped his pack. Are you serious, Oh yeah, he ripped up here in shot into my breast. He had been pressing to fifteen for three not to brag. Holy shit, yeah, that's rough I heard a towel ribbon. They said that was inside me. Then

never heard of like road teeter cop I kept my mom We were worried about this. What about I got a couple, but about have you heard a compartment syndrome? No! I double compartment syndrome in both my legs compartments syndrome. It's where The compartments your muscles live in beginning with blood and your mother? so become string related and they have to do a double. Fashion. To me, which is cut your leg open and allow your muscle to come back to life. Otherwise, you won't be able to walk anymore. That happen, I got a tomato at twenty one years, old, thy boss, a hundred and twenty pounds and its sad reality, but your skin doesn't quite snapped back an eternity this nine, our surgery. And basically, when I woke up, I go I'm paying my legs, my

it's the number one sign of compartment syndrome, which is a crazy emergency thing that can happen, is a pain so deep that even morphine can't treat it. So I woke up and I'm like my legs, my legs never looked back, he fine, you know you just like night he's the surgery, so they have me. Go home for twenty four hours and air ray our unlike screaming out in pain like I'm unpaid. This is bad. This is bad. Finally, they come in take my blood and they realise that, unlike bleeding out, this is bad news, spares my wake up and I'm in the arms of the santa monica fire department and they're like we're here to take you to the hospital like gearing trouble and I go. Let's hope lights in silence. It's and I show up and I get to the e r at St Joseph's hospital or St John's hospital in santa Monica shout out in the e r doctor. Goes you look like the Five months rise and they go turtle bits of

and he was like. Don't worry, we're going to take care of you because I had been bleeding out from a different part of like the surgery right around my abdomen. It was totally unrelated, but it was like are the universe being that we gotta get you and now is this wasn't a big deal, but the legs were really big deal this doctor walks in any it was really take care of your stomach. I know where you're bleeding that's fine, but what's wrong with your legs, and I said I am I'm dying, I am dying and he looks in the raw card. He takes out this needle. It's like this song with a box on the end and to pressure gates he puts it into my leg, and the pressure should be like somewhere. Unlike the low teens, the pressures. Thirty five, and I just hear him go prep for emergency surgery. and my mom boss apart, and

It's the only time I've ever seen it and she goes boy. He just had surgery. An hour ago you can have a dago can have surgery again and the doktor goes. Oh he's having surgery and she was narrow. But if it was your kid, what would you do- and he goes I'd already- have them in surgery and that was it and another ten hours surgery of having both legs cut open an hour or Jia, and then I had to stand. Hospital for three days with my legs open like they left them all. In their relations with the region. We went in and looked at the muslim because, if you didn't come in for over a day the muscle looks kind of dead and if it stays dead, we have to cut it out cause. We can't leave that in your body and if that happens, you're going to have a crazy limp for the rest, of your life and three days later they went back in and somehow my body had started to light, put lad. Bessest, do it like it started to sort of it.

never be a hundred percent, but it would get good enough Then after a move, it may close me up, and I were in the hyperbaric chamber, that night in this, like totally industrial drop, you thirty five be like below sea sea level pressure. One hundred per cent like pure oxygen- and I did that every day for the next, like three months or so good for you too, it'll do to save me and also they gave me a valium when I went in there- and I was two months sober, but I was allowed to take the valium and the pain medicine. So I was like guys, literal love, the hyperbaric chamber, with a huge volume to go in yeah dude

in the glass tube you're. Aware of you did a lot of the hyper know I fucking have I got when I got surgery, Gabby Reece called me up and she's the best. Is she the best she's, the best she's, the best? Her husband's a fucking, the he is, the the prototype of what every man should strive to be the king and and but she called me up. She goes I have to get in a hyperbaric chamber and I was like alright. Where do I find my towards rogen? Regular males are called Joe and Joe's like oh yeah, I've been doing you know, fucking yemen, sleeping on my sleep whatever and he's like and he's like I'll set you up with the place, and so then I google a place and I'm like cool. and then I was like. Maybe I should find out what this is. I see it's just a glass tube and I'm like hard pass or can we drink

that's what I would like to do their job. You didn't do it. I can't be done here, I can't do it. I am phobic like that. Really really bad, even though its glass and you can see here, do it did. I was locked in a cell and alcatraz right so that they close it and they locked it and they couldn't get loping and the like. The fact- and I had a tyrant cost phobic panting attack in a cell is as big as this is a cell of big When I started, I I I yeah I could not. I cannot so we would use hyperbaric. Timbers are really good for you, though. Oh my god it saved me like, like. I don't, have lasting effects. I think from that really oh yeah cause it just ox unites all your blood because they think it normal daily life for guinea. My twenty percent oxygen. what were breathing in, but it's a hundred percent oxygen and thus its basically your creating so many more red blood cells

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year to here, and they basically removed skin, and basically what happened was I went to the doctor and because I was one hundred and ten pounds overweight, he was like. You have a hernia. I was like really. I don't feel it used to get what you want even walk around one for years, probably from carrying around the weight and he's like in and god bless them. Please his skin. Like do you have feel about it like an arctic? Why I'd love it to not be there, but I've sort of made my peace about it is like you should have a plastic surgeon fix you up? and had the hernia effects and cause you're gonna be under anyway. Do this, sir? we'll go to a guy. Who can do both for you because, like you worked really like, you did the hard part he said, and you know it's never gonna bounce back like just accept that, but you can you can fix it and so yeah they cut you from here to here they remove it. They show you up and kind of a cute little new belly button as a big fucking vehicle belly button you'll see no

yeah. I have a bellybutton big demand to see that movie the birds have ever heard. I have a belly button back. I do I haven't like cause. I'm always shirtless people put their finger in my belly but they do what's wrong with what the fuck is people what? Luckily one of those animals, rice and so on? it's an inviting belly button, cuz yeah, yeah sure, let's yes, yeah, that's me. They just made that what happened? Your other one. I know it's summer, it's in a museum. I gotta agree with cute, though it's biting my man, never part of you that was just like. Let's just get covered in tattoos and knock one on your arm right, yeah, I'd like a couple little ones. My kid

in my mom, my wife yeah, but nothing to everyone up here too. No, no! This is just the oh. Actually, it's the one on your forearm yeah, but I m just tattoo suited to like the scars. I yeah, I think

got it, but I always think about I was considering. I were thinking about getting tattoos to cover up these scars on me. I just got stem cells, no way how we feeling fucking love them, really love them. You didn't go to columbia, you did it stateside or did it states they did it with the the er, the the hooker, the hookup yeah, the the guy, who does all the main fighters and does all the fucking well and is it pretty instantaneous know so in it? For me, I get the day. I got it, so I was having a hard time, not a hard time. I'll show you but not a hard time, but I was noticing that I could feel the mice where my surgery happened like when I did this like alright, like I just didn't, I felt like an instability, maybe like

getting up out of chairs like that or like getting into bed. I was just an I. Maybe it was like me just still baby in it, and so I got the the stem cells and then and then I didn't notice, didn't notice and then we went and did lifted weights at the gym in a penn state and- and I was like alright now the stem cells have been in for a week, and so I lifted weights at penn state and it felt really strong, and then I did my tricep exercises and I noticed that it have any pain, are normally have a little pain. Yet the first few wraps and I was coming any pain- and I just thought real in everything- felt really really good end and then I did like full but blown trice up or a full blown. Try sup worked out. in penn state after we bench I did some. I did everything and then and it and it's felt fucking amazing, and so that usually you feel the effects or wheat

weeks after, but I'm going back down, I'm getting it done again and then I'll bring my parents out and get my parents done, get their knees done cause they both have bad knees. I mean I there's certain things like a. I was very against it. Why? I just don't know what it is yeah you know, and I still kind of don't, but it's a what about like? Can you can you get golden? What's it called the golden stem cells like the ivy drip, one that they do in colombia here know that? Well, those are the ones that drew doctor drew told me he was like are you getting intravenous. Where are you getting? I would love to get intravenous now too I'd get them all yeah. I think it's the thing. I think it's the key. My mom could use it to help her be more mobile. That's my my dad's, not very mobile anymore, but he is, but you could tell like he takes them a little bit to get out of the chair and and

and if you did its depending on car you're in it, takes a little while to get in and out of cars, and I was just fucking shoot up. Your knees do feel great. You feel it kind of from what I understood you. She saw me round my arm on IRAN, memorandum, no salary, son, I'll, just standing by Malta and yet by storm a mammogram, and she was I Here's the tendon where you have surgery, here's the scar tissue on top of it huh, I'm going to shoot it right in on that and and she's like, and then I'm gonna prescribe. You. fenton noah peptides, two for your joints. They were going to help lubricate joints. I gotta call her today. Actually I did some, but I think that tides inevitably like when you get down to it are it's human growth hormone. It's an antagonist for human growth hormone, so it promotes your body

to make more of it. Really, I think so because I didn't have a bit of it before. Are you? I just move a lot. Just stay like for my mental. Some sober guy and also dislike, be able cost my diet, sucks, it doesn't suck, but it could certainly be better. But I've got to this raising my gloves. I work out five or six times a week like a hike. All our lives If not you some boxing stuff, then I can kind of like a slob two or three days a week in really not pay for it. So I found a balance, but I did I did a remake of by turner and huge for disney plus last year. Yeah and I enter the agreement. You get in shape, you're playing like a? U s marshal in proper shape, and I can't tell you how many people were like Oh you'll do steroids, right as it was in planning on it. There are, like everyone, does them, and I was like everyone like anybody with a cape, now like

do. I was like I dont want and I want to sell my you know: Ben greenfield girl yeah. and he think greenfield is fucking maxed level that guy that guy. You know what I like about that guy. If he's gonna recommended he's tried it totally he's fucking fascinating. Do I would like I would love her. Do he's fucking shredded? It's insane he's ease and some other level shit we're. So why do you ask I the rebels so ben greenfield. I hit him up, cause he's a buddy of mine and I was like what are you suggesting he said. Well, I have this doctor Craig Conover who's been on whitney. I know diagnosis Conover, you get your Nor is there in the fridge, my way by everyone who ever species where's your syringes and are afraid so mike just overnight. I know, spun.

But I guess I talked to Dr Conover any reside and I did them for like two months and they certainly helped leg. I think if you can like use em for like recovery or get ready for a bit, you know to be tv. It's a low rent Tom hanks. It's worth it's worth it yeah. What all? What kind of dog did you have a french mastiff? So such a great fucking dog, the best dogs, the one thing about them? Is they don't they're, not the most annabelle. So I remember the first in a we shot, the pilot in its new milk cheese directing the violet could take a proper mid. Chee chee was done, shit back when I was like in like ninety nine dir, his his music videos were fucking awesome, he's a fucking he did, trolleys angels and

number going to maneater. I remember going to see charlie's angels going and going because of MC gee he's a man and so he's directing and and these dogs are the greatest we have five dogs and the trainers are, are beautiful and it's the first day we're filming with the dog and zimmer I've like got this. This guy like dead to rights at the end of an alley, but he's kind of hiding I've got like my weapon drawn in them and the, Kg has to follow me and we do the first hake and the dog trainer and tangos. No, no, no, no, no dog can't be around that kind of energy and they go what if she goes to intense, can't be around the energy neck of the dog as a knock off of the dock go the cop show. I said what kind of energy is good for that, and she goes not that an end. So Magee comes over any goes. No,

problem like we, you know and am do at this year's rose, like whatever the dogs is doing in this happy doing. That's what they're doing nothing more and so is it we're gonna shoot, will shoot Josh and behind and he'll just walk and the dog will be following him. Joshua to say anything. You don't have to be intent, just like kind of put your arms up and walked on the alley, and there was a bit were the dog had too kind, jumping at my arm and I'm kind of like no, no, no stay stay, and so they were like well, we have a trigger word for that. Now is a great. What is it in the right pew pew? so they say action and unlike peptide it up, the action you're walking down this alley, going pew pew and those like pretty much the next eight months, but it was a good time really sweet dogs? Yes, you know they're just like. we just they want to chill they're, not like gum. German shepherds are like that. That kind of breed where they're like. What do you need both yeah? Well, we have boomer

this also. Clearly, yes, we have are, and there I mean they're damas fuck you come to the to the dumbest dogs. You'd ever mac is the actual dumbest dog. Today I went and he we have because his he is considered constantly hurt. She has a she ripped, a toenail out, and so I know what offing ship piece of dogs I fucking, two thousand dollars, so I don't even know how she ripped her tone out, who fucking knows and then she ate it yeah sure so yeah blood everywhere and she's chewing on her toenail, I was like. Did they like? Don't you eat your toenails? No, no! No, I don't know. Well, I heard you wait, wait! What power you saying that you eat your burger yeah I'll, never live that down. There were like dealers to take that out and I was like no doesn't everyone need their pictures, not well, just the good ones. I don't eat like doughnuts, but yeah, sometimes like one will make it's way into my mouth. So I smell them. I kept my. I take them on and hold on.

why not I need it. So today we have or are pool is because we have a black as shelf. if the dogs will go sit on the shelf or just go, stand on the shelf and drink the pool water yeah so that we have a we have a quarantine, not like a gated off, so they can't get to step into their walk out of here this right literally right before I came back your I walked in to grab a hat, a mac standing on the shelf. On the other side, the gate going out as a whole Did you get in here, I'll. Do it I'll just area went by Let a man you're about to come out, though

the whole living room is. Soaking wet, I'm like mother, fucker, these dogs, this house is so funny. I said to the end: cause we just you know: we've only been here. I think you may be under a year, and I said this house is not very relaxing cause. She goes yeah, so a house it sound like I go. There's constantly action like the dogs are doing something or someone's theirs. was a delivery at your front door and everything's fucking. I was like I didn't realize when I go sleep at a hotel just how quarantined off you are yeah like when you're in a hotel. No one bothers you and you got a three year old. Oh yeah, your your. Your life starts the second that child is awake. You don't, get you like a farmer, you don't get the picket now and we have an agreement with him because sometimes awake a dumb early and so say man, site in the morning like if it light out yet then, just like you,

play with your toys a little bit like just keep it low key and he will. But now you know we're getting into April and so daylight savings. It's light and ordered a sex. I missed, I go, I went, I went and hung out with talked with Tom Segura, his kids and I had to me and Leanna, and we had a great time and I missed having kids, I really did cause. I was like oh so much fun we played hunger seek and I was like scared. the fuck out of them, and it was just a lot of fun. Like a lot of things, I excelled as a dad in in the play area like weighing, I remembered the best comments I forgot I'm learning a lot about myself, but one of the best crumbs I ever got was one time we were at a party in georgia and I had a good dad. Can you come out of the pool and come up with a game when I was like sure, because I I tell my I always I love coming up with games for yes, always loved it. So I walk out to the thing in georgia

It says to the pool full of kids, my dad's here and my dad is awesome at coming up with games watch. This show him dad, and so I fucking stepped up my game, and I was like alright Everyone is five pound weight or even see you can swim it from one side to this side just holding on their feet and like we just and we just started fuck

and then we we I would make up games I would make. I was really good at making pool games, but that was one of my proudest moments and then saw last night. We were up at the beach anna and we were going to stay up there and georgia called and said I said, hey. What are you guys doing tonight and lands like? I think mom we're gonna slit stay up here and she goes okay cause. I could kinda use a breakfast sandwich and I was like it was like. The fuckin is like a breakfast sandwich: okay, alright, get the car we're going to run up yeah. So we came home last night and I woke up this morning. I made her the best mother fuckin breakfast sandwich as fuck isu give us give us a play by play. What what's a bk breakfast sandwich. Second, like sorta, this new thing I've been doing, hear me out on this lease, so I scrambled eggs, it was scrambled eggs for the girls over there in the car is to stapi fair, scrambled eggs scrambling softer

meaning I let level adjusted teach running low he low he, constantly moving and so two pieces of sourdough bread, bread. We have a griddle, so I take them home. I bought her both sides and I toast one then flip at little salt on the bread waffles and here's. What I do that it's a little different that I just started doing and I'm really proud of. I take the cheese that I'm gonna put on the bread shredded cheese and I throw it in the bowl rice scrambled the eggs, so it gets egg all over the cheese. Then I put that cheese on the bread and as it toasts. I think I feel like that egg meshes in with that cheese and really socks it into that bread so that it really sticks. I throw the egg on foot of it

and then I just very low or very low toasted it so that it and very liberal, with butter very low toasted. It flipped it over and over and over and then Ila was like hey. Can I get a piece of Allah? Allah was in a bad mood. I said you want something for breakfast said no. I said you want anything. She does no one need anything as I'm gonna make it. Is toasting, you take it with you and she goes lots of butter. So I made I made just a piece of sourdough toast for Ila buttered. It put it on the griddle flipped it over little salt put it in and then I made leanne three very small breasts. teresa tacos Lazo I killed, and then I went as a fucking. Everyone laughter, like I'm done, I'm going the battle to take a little nap, seven thirty in the morning and back in those goddamn dogs. Is the dogs then Leanna, someone working in the house, the always have someone working in the house and the dogs. I I get up. I go there, fucking making so much noise whatever and they're out,

at the gates, they're fucking everywhere in the house max pissing on shit. I'm like I just came back here and worked out. I was like fuck big house problems, but is that it you say your your daughter ilo wasn't in the best mood static, a part of I have had to learn this and being part of a bigger family now cause my wife comes to, like my wife is one of four like her dad was. You know, quarterback in the nfl, like they're, like a properly whoosh whoosh her dad's got him. Can o Brien can arrive? Yeah no can arrive at a joint research programme have married yeah really yeah, god dammit and like they're, like this beautiful, perfectly lovely family and what I ve learned to them, which was not true of me and my mom was like being part of a big family.

Into someone might be in a bad mood, and that has to be okay. Oh that's so funny yeah cause of the zoo and your mom. Can't it's like we're going to fucking. Have the south cause your life? Is one long car ride, that's so insightful! I love the way your brain thing or life is one big long corridor. That is, and so insightful? No at yeah. So both my sisters are emotional terrorists site like though they, if they d, like my sister Annie would just be like, but we can do that When I can decide to be a bitch. Is that what you call a hole in your like august for doing it? Your way like that's what I thought I you like, I have you ever seen: punch shrunk, love They remember Adam sandler sisters that there are just like these totally domineering. Like oh yeah, I like it

just smashing windows, though my sisters are bullies, meaning I love my some very close, my sisters, but their bullies to me they're just bullies like they will consistently mock me like like women men. It makes me laugh so fucking hard and they ve taught my daughter's that and my dolls, but like yeah. Well, if someone's in a bad mood usually is isler yeah in georgia, george bush, the the but yeah yeah he I I'm usually go in for either the squash or bad moves like I'm, the I'm, the the icer cause she's like if she's in a shit mood I can fix it usually yeah and I cannot fix georgia. Well, there's like I thousand we might, and I think it was from my dad in that I always had this sort of like tony montana,

a complex and relationships are anything but you're just like. If anything bad happened. If there is any like necessary conflict, I would just say no let me get out of here. Actually let me show you how good I am how how little I needed you in the first place. Oh my god, that's fucking! No! No bueno, no bueno and like I would leave and our drizzly perpetuating the bad behaviour of this guy. I know We even know gazelle. That's fucking insane fucking door what I had to learn from my wife was like none at all and we can. We can fight, we can even go to bed mad because family doesn't leave so whether we figure this out tonight or tomorrow or the next day where you going family, doesn't leave, and that was like groundbreaking for me, With all this growth happened, three did it happen recovery, I think getting sobered twenty and certainly helped like. I just

I got so. Soviet sober for like fourteen year has it works for feel. Like you can't. You do come regret that you took your partying so aggressively that unanimity it's just that I ruined it that, like I shall never built it does just have a glass of wine. I sometimes the reality is. I never wanted to like smoke, weed and paint or alike, have a couple drinks and get on the dance floor. would it be like dinner. The parties here like let's bring the drinks in the drugs back to my my apartment,. Just sit around and look at each other and talk and listen alike. Richard prior record sake. that to me was a dream, like I remember when I started to like really dived deepen too, like my vision, quest of four years of drinking and using like I like these sort of like counter culture. Beatnik like weirdos were like me, who are like none of the parties here

like lead to make this a party. I remember you took over this guy's house and we'd get high in and then he had this guy hang out. His name was the professor and he would just get loaded and put me in jujitsu holds heavy like that. Hurts bite, but I was just like him in the professor. Good, is go. You know you as a small drug abbot and said that was like appealing me was never to gum elevate, the situation. It was the situation, so I I knew that inevitably like cause, I had been so overweight throughout my life and then, as soon as I lost weight, I transferred to this other thing that it was never I just overdo it. I overdo it. it's so funny. I always. Like I, I was not drinking, I'm not drinking for awhile, but then last night I leaned open a bottle of champagne and I was like well. I urge us to see my wife for the first time

Why would never got to play with her yeah and then I ended up drinking and then and then I can on the ride home, I got a glass of wine that was like. I was like sipping on the ride home and we pulled up and leanne is like. Oh, my god, it's a dui checkpoint, you gotta, kill your wife and I went whoa. It was full. It was a. It was a

fuckin spliff of wine and I just went gaga- got ported oliver, my oliver my tests all over everything, and then she was oh nevermind. It's an accident, oh shit, we gotta turn around and we just I just murdered a wine right before the I was going to sip on it for the whole ride home on the one, oh one, but she yeah, but that that's my problem with drugs now cause like. I I feel like iris packed and I dunno I feel like I feel like I always I always want to be able to enjoy a drink. I'm like I want to like. So I I've I'm sorry, I don't let my wealth go too far down the rabbit hole, although I have I mean I definitely have been always. I mean I feel like, even though drinking is a good thing that you're sort of public about that you certainly enjoy and do it site you ve always been able to balance out. I mean

please your met any missteps ever been public rear. Like fuck I over such thing, I know the problem, I'm not your diligent, but I'm I'm. I'm also like. I am really big on irish goodbyes, like a really big on Knowing when I'm done like I've, I pull the plug. My cousin tell you anyone who travels with me, I just I'm done irish goodbyes, you just leaving you don't say goodbye. His leave so don't drive others a french could by no differently by means, you stick around and you wait for americans to value out is this a joke about, like the german goodbye like. Here's a jug of frenchmen leaves without good, bye and Jews is goodbye, but never leaves,

It's an old millbrook stroke know that I dunno about no irish goodbyes just idle hours. Maybe I'm misusing it it's just when you you just go. I'm drunk, I just walk out. No one sees me leave yeah like that's like. I remember one time when we first got to l a and we'd go out and people will be like hey man. Where did you go? I was like I went home and then I care about how I was I just got in a taxi and I went home back and they're like in his back, but back when you had to call taxis back and you'd and they'd be like you what you're supposed to be route with us. We we should take you home and I was like what we're not dating, not yeah. Once we get to the bar, it's every man for himself, I'm out. two percent, and so that's good self care hours hereby there's just without bidding farewell gotcha, and so I do that, I I I call it a lot like

I'll just go like I'm done and I'll just get my bunk, I mean if we're talking about for T- and I my problem is I talk honestly but my probably his I have a vape pen in my bunk and I end up smoking weed in my bunk, like all until like until I can't see, that's haven't it's? U calliope something in that banking and they say it I will listen. This document is important and I am obsessed with get loaded listening a potent hit, right now, I'm in this fight poor series on Hitler is that that how to make a dictator show on so funny noisily. I am so good yet

so. I like to listen to the same one over and over again. Aha, like I like to like, I listen to the franco, one probably twenty times that guy's voice just fucking mesmerizes me, and so I got this great fucking, vape pen, that's got blue dream. Blue dream is the perfect marijuana. It is the perfect blend of marijuana. As a matter of fact today I we'll go and by all the blue dream I can find because it allows you to sleep soundly like a like, like honest, based on a bus, when you're moving around. If, if I take a few hits of blue dream, I sleep through the whole fucking ride and I wake up and it's like a xanax xanax sleeps, where, like you'd, wake up in the middle of the night, you'd be like about a montana thing

went back to bed right and I can't really fuck around with Xanax anymore. I'm gonna do I I want from time to time but like, but I I am too worried about my cognitive abilities. It also has an amnesia effect. Xanax. You have to be careful about them. Yet, there's like I remember when I would you know when I was sort of taking everything I I would take the abs on a plane and would I would notice, is I was totally aware of the turbulence or like these moments, but I I wouldn't like there's something that happens during even light trauma like turbulence where you're in fear right, like a small sort of spike. What time you need to get out of here, I, like tennis terms at work, but I imagine there's something that happens when you have that spike weapon. Efron words like a even a light trauma, is embedded rikers, your member, that feeling your stomach drops of. Like all god, we were flying over milk

turkey an end. We dropped two thousand feet, but with this annex one stewing is, it doesn't allow you to sort of like in green those memories. Right where you not oh, did you know it happen, but like it did, in that same memory isn't locked into your sort of psyche. So you can't revisit it yet, but the problem is with garlic me. I find those traumas in the smallest fucking things yeah so like so like a like. Those trauma show up in a long line at the airport and so all of a sudden that trauma is like, and it's like. It's crippling yeah and you're like oh, that's I mean that's, why I loved Xanax man, it's still every now and then I'll take like a quarter of a milligram yeah, but not often not often enough work and I've never gone through a full prescription. It always it's always expired by the time I gotta get a new one, it's one of those. It's too good. It's too fucked

I'm pretty fuckin awesome. It's the same. Family benzodiazepines mean out enough collateral, that, then there are the value of the whole. I have them, is loaded and I'm just guess in the same way the hold venza Family gonna work, my my guy, I visa knows I wonder lightweight what my my emails think of like this guy them. I bought into like the guy from dragging george, the weight laws, not gap, leg, former jug addict, but they've they've embraced me wholly, and I appreciate that. That's crazy. Have you ever had a catholic king yeah soda beer, like you, can't catch here like her brother, his shadow kelly's the best play division, one for fresno state was acquitted back any six eight and easily The first of all her whole family are they're beautiful people, but there so athletically blessed. In addition, I remember I was dating my

Why? If it was our second date and they show up at her house and her dad and her brother are playing catch in like the front yard, like the How did they live in l, a I live in l a I just was like. Oh my god. This is it like I'm going to bible this sketch, and this is going to form therapy give me forever just go deep in your like my father. Age, and I think that is probably why Well, you would run all game either. I do pushups for my niece, the Rinaldo, who is the one who used the book. I got off the phone and I walked up to the house. It was a hey guys, sorry don't be ridiculous. That, though it to me now I'm on the matter but then like once I got into the family, they started to yeah. Tragically, catch mean it's bad, dude

nay, like my brother, knows the greatest was greatest. I sometimes like hey, remember that time in tahoe, where you can catch the ball unlike those six years ago, I can't get it out of my mind, would be the funniest brother there, pretty good by them. I hope I'm of another fun brother in law now cause you come from big family, like it's just a novelty, wears off american anything really pretty so focused like I just like, You wanna talk to me about me. Like I, don't know what what do you want to talk about? I get the gun, I will you look good uncle where you are, you're curious, which I think is a great sort of quality in people If you want, you want to know more about things, yeah, I'm pretty harsh on myself like I, I liked er, especially in public when we talk on podcasts, I'm pretty harsh on myself in I scale it way more than you,

The the word is hyperbole. I speak in hyperbole, so everything I've always I'm always to the extreme. When I describe myself so when I say that I'm pretty self so focused, obviously I'm not, but to be anything less than that, I feel like is being distant. It was shut down because then, if I tell you the other side, you're like well yeah, but you think about yourself a lot I'm like might as well. Just tell you that's the fucking truth, but So is a book out right now It's all right. Now you get it at amazon. Diesel bookstores anywhere books are about grateful to cover. Do thank you so punishable did you enjoy. Did you enjoy rights idea, and I had my buddy rhine holiday. You know him or do no wrong We stoic amigos the enemy and he bade we have known for a long time and I don't want a go schreider, but I needed someone could bother and like someone who could be my editor and help with like pages and notes. So he helped me with the book and yemen. I basically just wanted to write like aids. The book is a beaten and switch right. Like you see

that cover and you go. Oh. I know that that corny guy grew up with and then I just kind of talk about like the challenges of my life. It's like a, more hiding as the so. No it's self help book hiding is a memoir. Will your life is a self help life yeah you ve, taken. I mean a very impressively you ve taken. What a lot of kids could not would would be trauma in their lives for the rest of their lives and in three different aspects. We await game, not knowing your father losing her father and and and drug addiction and fame and law. In vain and regaining fame might miss wondering I regret I didn't talk. about, but I would love to have you back in the box ass yet love to, because I really I mean odyssey. The wackness is one of my favorite fucker movies, and, and it's so only that I didn't realize. I was talking to you until last night that it was you ve, no agnes yeah, but

but you've taken all these things and you and you've in a weird jiu jitsu, professor kind of way, turn them against themselves to work for you and made you a better person and in listening to you and following you, your perspectives, they don't seem like they're fuckin horse shit. They seem like they are Ben greenfield. You know like yeah Ben does not come at you from a bullshit angle and everything you do. Just seemed so well rounded, that's why I say: you'd make a great brother in law. He just seemed fun and- and I'm really happy for I'm really happy for you you're, the kind of guy that you go yeah. Maybe I guess I should quit drinking. It seems like he's having a good time with it. great yeah. Thank you bro. This is a dream I really blinkers on. I would love to have you back on the partners anytime, anytime, you're, very easy to talk to me, Yeah I loved you, maybe do peptides together upon the stomach shot go through. It ever show me how to inject cute

this absurd