« The Bill Simmons Podcast

Parent Corner: 2019 Edition | The Bill Simmons Podcast

2019-12-31

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons presents every parent corner with Cousin Sal from the 2019 NFL season.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Today's very special. Thousand nineteen parent corner there, Shouldn of the Bill Simmons POD cast, is brought you by car max the folks at car MAX bid your shopping test driving a car bank sperience Easy the way it should be. In fact they make it so easy that my nephew card that it he started his search. A car max outcome, filtered through over fifty thousand car MAX vehicles nationwide and found a car MAC certified Ford Mustang within his budget that he named Maxine Carmax took him through all the tricky stuff financing options, credit applications down payments and pros and cons of that happening are the pressure to buy Yo Yos get a seven day, money back guarantee to make sure the car is ready for you and with full disclosure. After week, Kyle kept the Mustang stop by your local Carmax for details and discover how easy buying a car at Carmax
can really be were also brought to you by the ringer, dot com or rears, though crank away at the tail end. The two thousand nineteen here at the end of the decade in the ringer package that work where the relaunch of bolts quintet, Tino first of three films that we did with him, which, ironically the one hundredth a third of these funds, will be the one hundredth episode of the reactor was yet so this week was Dunkirk, cutie Chris Ryan, Shod, fantasy and then one next week, and then the one hundred three watch was absurd. The weak after that subscribed to the relaunch was apple apple on Spotify fight, where we get back ass I come up here are all the parent corners, the cousin sound. I did over the course of the two thousand eighteen and it fell season if you're not familiar with this gimmick, we started doing it amateur, say five years go for five years ago we started joke about things our happening with our kids. I joke
we call the parent corner. Then we seriously call the pair quarter. Then we started doing them every week and it took a life of its own, and here it is a best of pair corner two thousand eighteen. First, our friends from Pearl Jack. You, ok, call my son- is a freshman. Your daughter is a freshman high school playing football that broke broke the old lady down yeah. He just loves it so much. He was done with flag football put the pads on their their first game last week, he's tall. Somehow you know- and I have to look into this even more, but he's almost
Ah he's playing linebacker would encounter like law. Not I'm sure do twilight your yeah automated at arm in arm eyeball on every FED Ex guy that comes by its eighty Fedex guys x to it over there. I try to ignore it, but in all its obvious, so we have to figure it out. You said: does he's like a mutant? He is very bays. Fourteen, yeah like six wine ragists looks like he's very sexy right, so he asked the play football loves. The game is watch, watches all games in place, never tackle beef. Or goes in their first game, to tackles we played to half the game at my back before you got two tackles recovery, fumble Tipp to passes, they beat a team from Compton ready for sixteen yeah relax good quarterback trained with the mat liner over the summer could be a good team bands.
This is made hash grave. Ninth grade freshman year, everything's great and we the announcement from the the wife that one concussion he's done and so well- and I thought about this- and I am I I have to have her back inside- I did- I told my son out like that's right, one and you're done and that's why, if you ever feel woozy, don't freaking say anything, Am my wife in like that too much it's terrible. I know it. The best thing we shouldn't be laughing about this, but is that fair and Erasmus and one in done am I just I just a horrible father if he gets one like we keep going, but techniques for I mean it's a bad enough were letting in play and then, if you, add one. I shouldn't me talking about it, but it's it's it's a possibility right. Credit
third is car. Max, though I think it's a search really scar, Stockholm anyway, another with us anywhere. I don't want to die at. I gotta make a joke of it, but it is that, where we're out like, if you let your kid play, you can only allow like one of these words. I think that this is our end of this year at the one, and I got a new one and then I'm fine. I remember my son, my mother in law comes and sent him a gift certificate for Amazon persons. Coming and am I forget, it was four- Was- is further back to score something so he's outside it, and he decides he's going to spend the money in the gift certificate himself. We get up,
fifty dollars, BB gun that was for ages sixteen and over. And what do you mean we get it? We get it in the mail we're like. I was some package from Amazon. It's a BB gun with two hundred bullets. In it and it's for people sixty and over and we're in my wife's, like what the hell is, this white, why do we get a BB gun ban claims? It was a he wanted to buy a prop gun because when he acts out scenes from movies in the backyard What's he wanted to have a proper gun dragging out scarface movies, Lucy's different movies? Eddie, Mercury shot up a number of it, so that happens and then, a day later, this fake knife comes at the beholder and it's one of those that are used to have somebody in the wages sing.
A problem and we're like what's going on, we need to see a psychiatrist idiotic. I just eat props, where the backyard and we're like what the hell is going on with you, and he thought it was eight the funniest thing and I think it was the other thing he buck O. The third thing was joins us. Fifty dollars, so wicked, Mores Mcdonald says, has this breakdown and such So I think you ought to get me a bad he kind of such wants us. It's like a joke right. Yes, in episode that been loves, Ricky Morty any just wanted to get it and they brought it back for a limited time for Mcdonald's, and now you can only get it from third parties. Sellers
x amount, so he bought. That is well. It all came in with our desire smashed half of the settlements. Ass was all whatever I was more than fifty hours. Desiderate had some stuff, so everything see by where something he thought was a prop toy gun that was actually a baby. Gandia he's never even seen a knife tat. He was pretending to establish whether the enemy with you broke get dollar and good, then such on stuff that are broken it and it's still There they were, they asked when we bought Kyle, Flash, Gordon Jersey and bends grown ass. Another, the pastures is fed suddenly too near the pastures, ie and he's like I do some examining eighty pastures in witty, which one do you want is like. I want my name on it around us now it back.
So have I got you want your name on it, so I get Simmons whenever it none. I want melatonin, that's his, then you should know about abortion, so they re. So we were Imelda held in sixty nine because we have sixty nine. I rise like, and I make a thousand percent not doing that. So he got thirty three. So Keyser Flash Gerda, Jersey and myself. Has a melatonin, thirty re any think. It's going to be good for our first video, like you're, eleven you're going to jail but it is even got my man, so thirty, three four Larry Bird, but on the patriots and melatonin, is that why yet and thirty three it's like a Simmons faggot and another tone in in his fire up our personal
learn it thinks it can be great for the rap video nice and that's my son starting sixth grade, who is playing he's gonna, do their travel baseball and play for the football team barrier? Free not do last boyscout with the proper he by running a perfect at them there. You go car max guns, knives and concussion, we're back so this weekend I was watching the three boys. My wife was away the weekend and I have to say, like she does a great these kids one be alive if a warm for her, like a rational, do with me at all, but watching kids over the weekend versus during the week is different right, like during the week after bring em. No all kinds of practices and extracurricular activities after school you have to do. Homework is bad stuff. If they make launches. She does a great shout with that, but on the weekend, as long as there's no sports and soccer hasn't star from my little ones,
at my old is one place for modern during the week. If there's no sports, that's easy, Pickens right, you could just set them on their own. They they're on their Ipad and you feed him a couple times a day and that's that so that that was my plan so wake up Saturday morning. An idea, I start my book and I get done nine a am m. Nine thirty am I got. I should go down and feed these kids. I go downstairs. I say the youngest was. What do you want? You want cereal road praying. He then say: Oatmeal Cosette involves meat. Yeah. You know what I mean, rather than just pouring called milk into a ball. He says cereal. We go through it. He liked checks I go in the pantry, gonna pull out the checks and he comes behind. Each got a full bag he's done now and empty bag of peanut butter. Pretzels is eaten all these, as is barely had breakfast zone for me, but a terrible
Father I am on my up unload. Unlike look at you, you're gonna be a real fatty and he says to me like well, you're, already fat and just walks away. Why allows it the guy. I'm going back up to my room and ride along to see these little bastard kids were another three hours stitched up so that it does not damage of a great story. But you you You feel like it's easier and the weekends, because it's really How much you want to put in bright, oh gotta, be because you can just throw our paths. Narrow at them and basically dear on thing on a Saturday night, I'm like a mighty get a drive people places you can also just feed them and not see that could honour pose major united order. It could come to the door. Do you let your kids order from eating apps. I haven't yet I'm a little worried about that. You're you're at that stage now right. Well, my son, they moral Ben Simmons at a very brief postmen run that ended
aptly when you guys were showing up from Japan the one burrito and we're like all right, but that's coming off your phone, but so my parents corner. I want to preface this by saying that my daughter's soccer team, I think our parents are really particularly its a good group. We have no bad apples. We had been trained behave really well on the sidelines. Our coach really does believe like. If we were supposed to stay quiet, just cheer not tell our kids what to do. That's tough indefinite yard. The rafts led him handle if it gets met. So where were plan as big tournaments this weekend in Oceanside, and we were the first two games- We advanced to the semi files, but there still one game left Sunday morning, and basically it's like I would just kick the bar and just China to get any
hurt it's one of those games, because we gotta be really ready, cause semi files in the files on Monday night. So game starts. We physical getting more more physical and the lead, the the centre umpire, what Where is called the lead, Ref is seems, pretty young doesn't seem like an adult seems like he may be. Sixteen or seventeen MAX and has no idea what is doing is starting to get shipyard starting to get shippers. Second half starts, and now it's like roller bar and our kids get had taken out fowls, let and right. At one point, I thought our mid filter, whose a nice kid actually whirled around their fists clench at that rashly, never fight and the fear that he's getting that like that at a control, the rest doing nothing, we where yelling and you know from appearance in point? The only thing you want is you don't want your kid to get hurt and again right, so were alike were reacting his parents like
gotta, get control this game when are doing now he's getting mad it ass. He added he's doing more more filing one of our kids just gets and her head hits the grass under she's. I can Half crying, but really more upset were I'll go nuts, and now it's like You know in the NBA, where it's like that the trainer, when there's a fight the trainers, pretend that they have to like make sure the poorest or run on the courts or the rioters Bennet. So we're combination make sure, but it gets mad enough to actually like charge somebody our coach comes out and he's like the man I've ever seen. A means of getting thrown out needs a red card. So now we, we're up on nothing in this game. Now we just wanted to end cuz. It's like somebody's going to get hurt in this game is crazy. It's like a fifteen year old girls, soccer game, so stupid game penalty. Kick would like a minute left that they cause for some penalty in the box. This ref, who is now like you, know, he's like the nineteen seventy two olympics.
Barbara causes from crazy parity and now this other team, as apparent a kick with a chance to tire our goal ends up saving it. We win the game. The rifts prints off past us to get away from us and rents today to the to the, though whatever that tend to put in the score. Our manager, files them and I follow because I want to make sure like nothing else, happens. Go over and the rough is basically like unravelling, like he's in the Blair Witch project. He's telling our manager like I'm sorry, I know it and do my best and it becomes clear these kids like fifteen there now and somebody must have called and said that this is like a big tournaments like you have like real respite in its clear, like he'd. Just should abandon the spot. It. Meanwhile, we must add roller ball in this. You soccer thing so unlike conflicted chasm like we're we're yelling at this guy, but we also wanted our kids to be safe,
But on the other hand, were you know young at this kid in fifteen in whatever so I said for this action, Packer. I'm not sure how I feel about this whole thing, but at one point one of the pants and our team is somebody is taking pictures and was like. We have pictures in the guy. Looked over leg was scared. The greater the blackmail of members is pictures of our kids getting elbowed in the back and tripped and knocked over there. What is the zip picture? He said he lived the gay right I had so here that story. What do you think our role is on the sidelines, a normal normal group of p of parents who are just supportive and on sale at who are now weighed one of their kids are gonna get hurt. How far can we go in that situation? I think I think first Lodge is very hard to see here kid get repeatedly injured or busted up and nothing being done about it, but I think you did well keeping your cool. The x factor could be the
their parents. How much are they again on or they just telling you our shut up, stop being a bay, because that could put you their return nuclear so and then you lose it all right. So this As I will say, the other parents did not do that, which I thought was a good thing: and you know that I recognise that it was a young mother, overwhelmed referee in that sector. These calls were made, but I think the answers you have to send Benson Cities games with his baby, but I did we we had with the semi fire again today and we lost in penalty cakes, which overstating but right before the game- and I say this: every I'm just gonna say this again for everyone's benefit, you supposed to pick a side and put your chairs on one side, all the parents on one side, the parents from the other timber on the other side. In the reason to do that says just because if there's a
play that game when it turns into a roller ball. You dont want parents right next to each other German, that good God knows what happens: parents right right near fire, the game, these two. Ladys put the chairs on our side, and I can't let them as I guess yes have to go to your side and the Like it as the IRA Ngos. How really like, like offended that she has to go to her side summit? May this again for America's benefit, stay in your fucking side, but there's two sides All the parents are on the side that you know you're on that side. Where are they said: there's a mid field, there's a whole line that goes right down the middle in Europe on Saturday other you can't be on both like it. I like it.
I'll tell you about my five year old, who is playing soccer. Now he was on this team last season, actually like in the spring, with all his friends in school, every one of those like six friends and not in his pre school class thereon this baseball team there. The Mets he loved it. We got along with the parents. We held the end of the year Party at our house that they warn, and so for both parents actually like them, which is tough for me, was great. Now they have the soccer team in the fall and Harrison mice is two days too old to be in that leg. The soccer lives where they sort out the ages for the soccer is different than the way they do it forbids based, so he's two days to others. It kid on a team that today's younger than him, but my son, can't do it because
two days to also here's the plan, another team. So but the coach offers this. He says: hey wanting I'll disorder, Natural Jersey. He could show up he's five, who gives a shit that you know they're not competing for, but trophy here, the coach and other coaches are gonna, know, there's no rosters, not gonna. Call me out and That would be that income in as a saw bore with as always to kids. I can't make it or whatever as like. That sounds really good. My wife's, acknowledge let's do this by the book there. Probably let us do that anyway, but let's, let's just let the league decide as I don't think it's a good idea, but go have Godspeed. Do it sure enough? calls up, gets the commissioner on the phone or email through email there are absolutely no exceptions he cannot play with his friends. He's gonna have to be on this. Other team now, she's furious, and now I'm not here and now I'm like well. This is this: is your fault you screwed up? We could have the extra jersey because ordered it. It would have been five
and now we have to play on this other team and not only now as you playing on this other team, they moved those that for some reason, the schedule there three games on Sunday, so I have to see everything It was great everything, Glinda First Saturday, seas and now he has half the schedule is on Sunday and and and their practices or Saturday. It too two days to weaken days a ruin for five year old son, I have a little today so that we can a maniac avocation yeah. Why are they have in practice? Where are they now and I'm your odds run around like a chicken with their head cut off? There's no brain is for them ass. I sat as I go with you shouldn't go. The practices is issue with this. We have a cup as I go with you shouldn't go. The practices is a deal with this. We have a couple beach days left over a million things going on. Why at two o clock do we have to bring it into practice? Well, maybe you won't play, maybe them or claim that there is this, not a scholarship, tee
I gotta get it. So that's that we're stuck with the Saturday and Sunday real, quick, the older The freshmen has a game and Anaheim football yeah on Thursday. I'm driving out there about way there and I get it. From my wife saying, the game is cancelled, because it's too hot. Oh, my god, it's ninety and its then a tomb it and then I want to take any chances. Are you gotta be getting me. I know I play through he like this. I want to be the old man saying as but first this reminds me the NFL, or we talked about why they shut scheduling September early September Games and Carolina Tab obey There's gonna be a storm. Adding same thing here seem same it. So Anaheim every September tenth games on the road now, that's it so as to turn back our second traffic for four hours. But that's that someone that's brutal. I can't believe their practice. For five year olds
what is going on with this country, yet isn't that and check out of the other cultures or not? They love it. They love it so much dick of WAR Friday will do Friday at five or something you throw us cabal out with people wing uniforms at two different teams and all of them cluster around the bothers there's. What are they gonna practice just near running into each other I'll? You know why these I can remember any of this. He might remember playing with his friends that he grew up with them, when cool, but I'd take that away from my way under what s birthday. Wednesday December thirtieth. So there's a kid who more second January on the man. That's a tough sports birthday when people ask me for advice for parenting, I was the only thing I says: if you think your kids are gonna, be athletic. Try tried again it so that their born like late January February. That's the move them It's going to really one of the next day I shoulda I understand from.
There has to be a cut off by an amendment matters when their eight, nine, ten and above but come on five in and play with his friends fast, pretty ridiculous, my pair corner theirs, the lad to choose from with my son these days. It's it's Israel the turning into one of the autumn characters. My wife gave forty hours to cause was walking down town to go, get coffee and or would have some coffee drink. With his friend Ben they're, gonna walk around. That's go to lunch. We're gonna write their tickets. That was my whole thing. I was so why'd you give em forty dollars. Why don't you give em like ten dollars she's at I just grab money from our so giving him forty dollars No, it's like a game show where you're giving leg Damn Eleven year old money to just spend the night near Safeway comes back and there is some sail from a store and his care. All this stuff is thy. Mom
store to say I don't forget the name of it. Stuff, and it was. I can't even describe it stuff tat. One was a thing it almost nothing a stand and he's gonna keep trophies on this. He doesn't want to trophy. I don't get you in one baseball. Trophy Hum says like so that's great, his ugly stand out and even our it's gonna die of that, and then it was There is one giant long key that he really light because it looked like a key from a scary movie. Look at this. It was marked down from ten hours to one dollar yak, as it's a fucking Genk. Good work at sea notify sure way, whether they the key to my hard on it And then there was like some gold chain so anyway he spent the whole forty dollars. Then my wife's mad at him. I was like why you mad at him he's an idiot. You should be mad at yourself, so we have that then? The other thing was, we join my fantasy league with that
my friends from high school at the one that I was in from like ninety ninety Winnie I'd, say it's get that those adding wanna, be in multiple leagues and they will really made me feel guilty. Some I'm back in that did the homage I thought they met I want it. Told my son, I wish be partners, for this is a great. So we do the draft he's interested write to them. Where you really want me to take Baker Mayfield, which might be the only quarterback he knows Odin Tom Brady, so we take him and then disappear. She's gone for there s a draft down the CBS upon his phone and then he can look at our team, and these are excited about. That is like a damn good. Our team were favoured in this regard? The staff momentum watchful the Cairo and Sunday like great so. Comes around its like nine fifty five West Coast will you come out watchful bar geometry beatin,
one second, I'm just going go on the trampling comes in. And for two minutes watches I too Baker may feel passes there I'll be right back. I never see him again, she's gone there, there is no interest in anything, then comes back and starts yelling at me because Lamar Jackson, who I didn't start consistent, Mayfield cassettes the only for Papa my son's heard of other than the patriots and, unlike I started a Baker Mayfield because that was the guy you were excited about you, Wanna Baker may fail to say you have a dad, the Mars five What are you doing? What are you doing? You're so dumb, unlike you, reward football. You out here scenario yelling at each other and then that now watching any for border, and now he doesn't care about the fantasy team because we lost and we saw, can I pay. Bad team and he doesn't want to be a mighty with paper? so there is a real understanding, the giant key,
The other thing is, he has a patch jersey that is, is rat name on the back, Kyle, the Flash, Gordon Jersey, so he got his melatonin jersey wouldn't where that tonight, because he was still mad about the thing LAO Bastard. Because I didn't they Elamite basically turned a child. After sports, rail of the football due to all going to see was to bigger Mayfield passes What were you realize is when we were growing up. All we want to do is like watch sports or their dad rate is like what was better than tat again my pops, the then I want to do there's one watch. You know a prank video on Youtube, who is it imagine yelling at your father for starting a cracked outside the heads of death. Well in he was he's been researching as hollowing custom who's. The guy is gonna, be Kyle. He's gonna, be this guy from you It's a Youtube, video one error, my other donor, and am I who's that so in, and so it goes. Is this guy and Dana Dough
ex video. You sleep, These girls and spoke a lot of pot funny to be him following I make that doesn't funny at all. Can he not do that Pokemon Faye bench I just at him with his knife? That's why does it broke in that? I wasn't gonna look out, for I thought it was actually understand me. So. He gave a bed with a knife and then plunged in and then it receded into itself, because this was the one thing he bought. Kyle on his trophic. Yet that's can be the first Antonia his you do character the area this is gonna, be the first child and character the air love it. Sal usually goes further than parent corner, but we're gonna hafta first step has as a good one. So well this really a testament to the many inadequacies that I possess. As a father,
as a grown man as a tech savvy human being in the twenty first century. My son loves the game row yet is one of these character driven avatar driven. You know you, you're, the character and all of these environments and situations and light A lot of these game, where you, you know you have a one character, interfacing with others. You can enhance the shit out of out of this characters, attributes and in his navigation skills. His his fashion and my son very early on showed a real appetite for making his his avatars handsome is possible. Yet, also equipping him with whatever modern technology where water warfare technology. So he spent four hundred and sixty dollars
last week on roadblocks enhancements, because I have probably four times gone into the stupid effing app and be disabled in on on tethered by paper and on and taken the Epping Credit card off the thing and an army, God damned if he hasn't figured out a way. This needs do pop up up up up and then I get a bill from from I tunes four hundred and sixty mother. I think the horse, I thought for what Why? Why? What go daddy Monarch Teddy Mohawk a picnic like characters in Lebanon's Penis data, because that is our first started right. My kid anyway, so that's why I've shown is a fiction for those that do you know the fix. Please send it to me on the towards our house. When we see it, please help me fix that anything row blocks I'll. Do you have
Pay for that, but I think it's funny or that you do so far, sixty dollars. I got just a piggy back on that. My son also did the same thing and we had to they change other passwords that second possible for ignored or anything. But somehow I got this bill you last. I would, as at remembered sweating, shut out the ramparts wedding. Badly great time rice and it was a nineteen dollar. Ninety nine cent Sony Interactive Services, Playstation thing so went on my account and bought something that you know what it was I emailed them. Did you buy texted and did you buy something and he may be back look ass. The for show stooped I'll, give you a Babby gave a snoop dogmatic in it said. Oh for Sharia is a question mark bill. Seventh Benson did you buy something in my work? I was again offers show a dead hastily. I have
daddy texted. I pay you back even I'll pay you about, I pay back, so his grammar continues to be terrible. Authors, twelve two birds, because I think this is anything but airport or sell Europe and I'm up ass. I told you last week of the week before about my five year old, who wants a play soccer with his friends but he's exactly two days too old for that league. So he has to play a league up, and this really plays on Sundays, so good for me, and not only do they plan Sundays, they played Sunday, one p dot m witch for a football fan on the West Coast is the worst time, the worst time for a game to start and by the way, even worse, when there's ten freaking legal games yeah three late afternoon- tenant three is not the race anybody was so you, as you know, you guys, are watching it tells you had most games on your parlay, their Green Bay game.
Baltimore Game, Detroit Game houses, you watching the Pittsburgh game all came down to the wire some scrambling to get out of the house. I finally get to the game and, like five slave, but not too late to see my five you old, allow two goals in forty five seconds is playing going any thrown a fit, and so they take em out a goal. And now a slide. Tackling everyone he's playing good them back, can call for vows every time you do like tackling every by like diving into every by, like, doesn't know what he's doing and but like when you called for families are crying. So is like the this big. Bullied and turned into a worse like what the hell's going on here, so they end up losing like five, nothing and I'm a guy. I can't wait to talk to this kid I have to. I have to have to get his head straight. This is crazy, he's aggressive any sobbing, and it's it's really weird and he's crying after every goal by the other team. Wait till I get a hold of him. But before I get a hold of I'm here to talk to his team, the coach Psych tells a value that we lost, but losing doesn't matter anyway, not await us,
What freedom that, but there, the sharks and he dedicates the shark or the weak, acknowledges that there's a shark in a week. He pulls out a plastic shark and gives it to Harrison, for the shark in a week and unlike what the hell is going on here and thirdly, the shark, the quick eight years like blubbering on the ground and pounding what now. How am I going to say? Hey, you did wrong. You got to get it together when he's going to hold up the shark and say: oh really, someone says that I behaved prop properly so the shark of the week, so I don't know he's a nice guy and everything, but you didn't do Manny favours with these participation, trophies this one coming in the form of a plastic shark with his name on it. It's like you pass it around I will be always waving around. I can teach this kid that he behaved improbable out. I don't know what to do. You guys have any recommendations. This suggests you just explained everybody under thirty.
I gotta go to pay a very good about thirty months. That's really awful! So shorted away my parent corner, so my daughter, who I love, whose burn this package tours of really sweet and thoughtful I was the one hall she has in her sweet. Thoughtful raised may not like great at cards and gifts, which makes her like me. The best person I've ever seen at cards and gifts is me and South cousin Jimmy Room for sure who is kind of the Michael Jordan of gifts. Is, I don't know yet what does he have like a Google back? so he knows when everybody's birthday and everything is, but it is buying crop, as we heard they probably heard. You say that thank you for anointing, I'm the best the cards and give boy you like a rookie, Larry Mergers, and just just for saying that really incredibly thoughtful gave sees buying, gives for people
July March, just as three hundred people filed away in his brain that he's just buy stuff, for my daughter is not that person and I just somehow I ended up with these kids at its like mother's day and my wife's home we're about to have dinner and their scrambling ran grabbing pieces of paper from the printer and hastily making mother's day cards. I don't think I've ever gotten a gift from my daughter ever Maybe I have my wife probably bought it. So I bring this up because she's been dating this guy and they had their one month anniversary this weekend, how nice guy, oh Uncle Michel account like I'm good. First boyfriend Zoe come I'm like where Zoe its share o she went. She went down town by some gifts, fur anniversary, unlike what she had such comes back and has this whole thing of all. These different gives she bought and she got him a card and she made him so spent
hours like gives and arrange some photo thing and am listen to this and I'm just getting matter matter. So we were faint we're in DC for for the wedding and were faced timing, her and she's telling my wife about these. Give she got her gun, Eminem, the cinema and I'm so excited and finally I got mad and, like I knows you ve never gave me a fucking gift ever did she goes back with that's not true. I may do that Celtics thing once which was like seven years. Oh I was there. I was away for the files and she bade me this painting with like six south excited, so she had to go back to two thousand and thirteen. So my point is this: Thank you. You do, though, Daddy's little girl that stop as soon as they meet a guy you just dumped. You began its eight nine years for the new guy. Meanwhile, there is a better fuckin chauffeur for her entire life.
Around forty four, every soccer turbid, whereas by I want to hear with that large part by in, but that some gives cause I'm so I'm so thankful. He stood in a hundred. Whether last week to watch me play soccer and swear in guy and then had to drive two hours, no gifts for me. Dad's being a bad first boyfriend outside sound like the man, it's a great boy If you had a boyfriend, you we're gonna, get it for one anniversary. I just stand. I stand what love? What's right? It's what I stand for it. You know it's right. Get me a father's. Descartes occurs to me like three carts. Just write a nice now read this happy. No make me feel good for a minute. If you want to feel good bill, I could send you a plastic shark on account put in the mouth moral. I think you would like it. If car MAX sent me a car, I do love my daughter, though I should say she will be taken care of me some day when I'm in a nurse easing hopefully hopefully review the ocean. Why
he'll bag diseases that neither fun or funny but I'll, tell you out they'll, say in advance. It has not so terrible ending, but my son is playing freshman football. It took a lot of convincing of my wife to get this go and we even had Tony Romo fear a few years back. Tragic events are say: hey you come on. He could play contact raided contact footballs, fine and he's like you didn't have to startle ninth grade, so he didn't start until nitrate, even though all his friends were playing and seventh grade now is on the freshman Jamie loves it. The teams pretty good. They have a game Thursday afternoon game, one of his teammates catches, a ball on a flat, turns around and gets pommel helmets helmet. It is probably a foot taller and then he's on the field. This kid, my sons he made for the next forty minutes and you know and is in his feet or flat
We are now like Polly Crap is its involuntary or like me at some point, the mothers pretty good with it she's on the field. It took a long time. Finally, an ambulance came for minutes later, take him to the hospital he had like a neck injuries. These fine. It has a neck gratia, texted thumbs up to always teammates, but there I I don't know what to say, except that you know when you watch your
for team play in a player on your favorite team at that sucks and you like, oh, this is brutal. Even someone on another team, when you watching your kids game and at someone on your kids team, it's like times a thousand and then I cannot even imagine as apparent what this is like for forty minutes, not knowing let's go, and I like, I said everything while ended up good, but I'm ok. If he decides at the play- and he seems ok- that everyone on team is ok with a bit it. It's just so scared and also its really bad. For my and I mean a lot of the parents like all how's your brand as your brand. Ok look out the more about my brand as a kid on the field, but now real, I don't know. I just had a big wake up, call that the left in the same way Jesus most depressing pair quarter. Malta, I'm sorry I know, was forty minutes, but its relevant knowledge of what we say irrelevant near while the other thing is like I have to go to every game, I don't care,
the road games are at the kind of make everyone, because this is not now have that, on my mind, to a man named integrity started by me out, but this is a reality that apparent, thank God, forbid summits, because because just when you, that pair corner is getting a depressing rebalancing, so I can get on his instagram account and read his the aims and staff, because I pay for his phone and that's part of you know, that's part of the deal What I didn't realize I hadn't check than a while, as he has this new habit now of damning celebrities and Instagram n hoping tat, email him back? So his he now that, after we went through the it to screening He D and Bill Haider and was like. What's The EU is, I got it, sent him a photo and he was like. I was at the premier for it.
Now, a few things Bo Haters Gunnar system is the aims of baby hit em back I spent a lot of that. It's bet. There's might some women that is attractive to who's. Been there K. What's up, I think your great but my favorite. He he takes it this wrapper named nine. Sixteen frosty, whose actually fantastic keys, is as in blown up. But as a couple really get songs But, as you know, my my son and his and his body, Lucy they have their their rap their rapid we played. We pay that song at the start of the pakistani Agora, Tiktok and melatonin so heat he dams, nine. Steam frosty in July. Twenty third and says dude you're a God, but it. While you are does David, had there been no response- from nine sixteen frosty. Then, just twelve frosted amount. The aims that began it says
tone in I'm a wrapper. I work with Tik Tok you, oh god, let's take tag for real says is: is rat partner to just case, maybe he does take tat careers. Yet I had to get it tat, you know so poor nine. Sixteen for he's gone through the Arabs and gets melatonin. I'm a wrapper. I work with tat. You guys already rose you weren't would take tag. Then take you're my hero still no response. Days later, you're the best while you are the best. So so to be fair. I don't think nine. Sixteen frosty is disregarding the the direct message because he got his you're in yours. Rob yeah. They even think it was that I think is important
he also impaled and actors their Mckenna. He just email, clapping emerging he's just going through its net. He really legs, they told their cross a neck. Big fan no response from neck. So my sends us liberty, it screamed the end. Game has been a little off so far. I don't understand of noxious to start off because it was one day was like a Tuesday, and we had the cleaning. Lady only comes once a week on sound too too crazy to presenters and the window washers would never ever come, but we were unable to see outside our windows were so filthy. We finally broke down and got window washers to come.
How so clean a lady in the window washes they're the same day. That's Tuesday Wednesday. We get a text from the cleaning lady top to read little language barrier, but she says the all this boy I put his money in the black suit in his closet, I'm so that the window washers couldn't get to it. I like are well that's nice. Why why my son has money it in the first place, but I think she took the money invested a wage. Could she thought someone was gonna finish what some of the strangers wanna take it. So am I What happened is ago yeah? I wondered about that. I have like a hundred ten dollars out on my arm, then table and it was gone asked. Why didn't you say anything? Is I thought the housekeeper took it now? They want a rather out what a good kid wow
Pretty good wait, a second! Why did you have a hundred ten dollars? Well, that's the other nominal I'm excel in math and in the courtyard or something is not such a good kid. But now, they got it from my baby sitting is the matter. You losses, effing phone and they camping, so he's gonna pay used to pay out anyway, but anyway the sentiment is nice. Even read out the gleaming Or maybe the sentiment isn't nice? Maybe you could have had like this terrible thief in your house and he just would have sat passively and what should happen o interesting. Am I looking at this? The wrong way, shall I say, Anna had evaluating anymore- is one bad parent. This isn't my pack on her, but I fifty last week, and I talked about how my kids.
You know, aren't really like they don't make cards and undue stuff right there and how bad I was when my daughter had her one month anniversary the boyfriend and get went to downtown Goddard nine Gibson cards and so needs Saturn, fifty no card from either by children. No cart did I get give from either them now. I know you know what I did get, though. That apparently was more mainly. For instance posts for me to them and their Israel stories, including one for my daughter where she wrote, like a really nice long note on Instagram that she claims she worked forever on. It was more important than ever why, then, my son, actually right, did a very nice short thing for him, because he is the least mental to ever lived. They also did
So the thing with a picture of us- and they both seem pretty convinced that that's a bigger deal than giving somebody a card because their friends can see it it's it's! The instagram currency matters more than just handing somebody a hallmark heart. I feel about this. All you have to go to Nephew Kyle for his reaction cow. What matters more two kids under fifteen will to the kids resume. Our kids. Yes said the kids they did, they cannot do figure something out of it, though they proud to be a good picture of them are like a cue on where people are given the right. Oh, my god, you fuck you in that picture when you're forest Right so it ties into the the narcissistic era we live. It now were now raising a generation of kids who Katy would give a card because they would, rather actually being there be in their court on call card themselves. There They also want to win with cart, yeah, there's no not going to get any like Santa filling out a card for you know
they get one layer twice and integrate via you, gonna throw it out, it's a one like our for them there. I can do that so frightened. My daughter's boyfriend comes over, bring We're card brought me a really nice card with no MIKE. I don't get it for me. There care, but frigate daughters, boyfriend got. Collagen car dilate became even more now be devastated when they break up here. You have to make sure they don't break up now that day, Well, you know what you should tell your kids for now on take a picture, take a video of the card and then put- on into the ground. There are still one african cart, get some legs out of it down to everyone's announced. Will that's not even my parents corner got home today, and there were these packages at the front door said Ben Simmons in them.
Immediately my reactions, you can guess his owner student from package's. One of them contain two things. Vampire blood which looks oil thing and then the other thing was Holly. Quality. Fx latex wound, so you can put these things out of that makes it look like you've had latex moon some. I got right, that's really weird. What's in the other box, it was a fake ax. Some acts in acts and acts like generally aggravating the knife. A few weeks ago, rice and areas of fake Dave Retractable faked I've. Now he has a fake acts any as vampire blood and tax were so naturally had to ashcombe. Like are yours a cure, said not get ready for all a win
and that was his answer to that. It is a little more disturbing if its February and these things are common to the door and stay here dad. Did you make saws its awesome, so my my who they call Papa Doc, kisses doktor bill. The competent work when he comes Baino is ropes him into buying. Stuff on Amazon cousin Papas on so easily. Go to part. Can we go to Opposite dot com and then my dad, because kids figure out pretty quickly, they paid the green parents, especially when they live in the same place there. Just the easy March, there are right leg, they're, just so desperate went over affection over the course of two it they're cramming three days of you know friendship and affection. Wherever else that has now has the last for next three months, the tenacity, the grandkids again so their basically these market at my son, realise that pretty quickly and now I gave him the nickname papas on it. So now my mate,
dad I'll get something out of a gales proposition time. It's like all thing that gives a joy get me. Well he's getting credit card. Just you know fully Did they go? That's my bank lies. That's great yeah. I cut of at least picked up a card for you. Please shopping right again, only one leg cards or when they get needle. Our prime, I love it lacks, have do good things, but that will want one good thing was when camping with a bunch of families, fancy camping and one of unwanted name drop but Johnny Knoxville was there and my wife told I asked my son- was my five year old. Should I go Knoxville Teaching Matter right, a bike, Is that a good idea I will fit to guy from Jack s back I don't know about that. Should child protect observers
just come right here right now, don't say that too loud, but he has seven of his teeth. Love. So that's! That's fine, but. Not much of a story, but I will say this early We went to smack down yet short talk about in a minute, but I was on Friday on Monday night Raw, I'm sitting my five year old down. We watch and mysterious in the ring and brought drawing them around. They keep cutting too. Mysterious son, whose, unlike the second row- and I said you know- I said suddenly Harrison were probably Friday. Gonna sit a seat like that. Pretty clause that will be good right. He's a gaze excited brok. Lesser then decides after Easter, drawing room a around like a rag doll comes out of the ring reaches into the crowd, grabs, re, mysterious, sun and beats the living piss sat of like ten minutes, and now my son hackers
is beside himself he's up in tears. He's biting his like knuckles. I am like that. Don't worry well we'll sit further, backed up with that's gonna, be fine art him for life that my story. But then we weren't, we had a good time right. Yeah, It is part of mine, was gonna, be how we said, each other, and it was your son. He was losing his wrestling virginity. Early live resting, show virginity, and I was of my son, who is now six years older than him, who has a vet, no the process at this point and it really fun reliving that first show three or sign cause for twenty five minutes there, just catatonic yeah right they basically look like that. It has to come out and carry in take them off the field. Just dear The headlights can't believe it can't process anything just glazed over then about the half hour mark they start to liven up and then
about an hour and a half in really start to get into a rose, it was founded. It hit those checkpoints again it gets everything you do at home and everything you you can't do in school. You can travel for their allowing get right in front of our eyes, guys are beaten, Hell out of each other and costumes, and daddy and mommy and daddy friend than subtler, are enjoying the tools. Are there like our eye? This must be. This is interesting. I can't forget about that dynamic of it, but at the parent corner, really wanna towers, gonna get sued, my son last night after he watches and through madam president, now that, as I don't know, I don't my car max get upset, but its is probably the best one. Firstly, from me That's why you ran by me over tax, the air, the device My I said, is that work and so on. We can't even put the stores the Pakistani more so I should say he D Watch sees the three big bath on Friday night. He got up at four
thirty in the morning the next morning to keep watching it instead, I pretty early on Saturday unclear. If he can read Betty finished Brig map. His answers MAC down. Yet, as after things came home at night, he went to that day and then got up early and banned at the rest? He just loves that just so much so my daughter every Friday. She has day with her boyfriend. Her she's had were almost two months now talked about it before his really nice kid. So am I. And frightened at a much in the Dodger game. My wife's away- and it's probably seven eight in an upstairs watch a movie and then They come down a watch the game, but I could tell she's I'm pissed off about it and sit down what's the score, and he just like really want to watch that he's. A huge dodger fan really want to watch Dodger game also like one and hang out and watch the game and my Water is doing in the hall now
really excited about there. She was having much more fun, you know in there. Action. A movie and she was choosing and fight. She like leaves and goes to play. The piano ditches em for like twenty minutes then comes back can you still got a bit of an attitude that goes upstairs for little bed and recovery. Bob, I roused like em, women are difficult. Like he's down my friend, if that's my daughter I was just cut out a moment. We are like a body moment, for they have our watches dagger game kind of complaining about his girlfriend. Who happened? My daughter So then the next day were diagnosed aggregating. I'm ok! You know he had to take one for the team. Everyone I hate to give you advice. I've had a lot of federalist relationships over the years, but you now he is he's cute kitties doing just about everything you want to do. You want to watch the Dodger game for half hour. You got to take one for the team, so now she's frantic she's.
She's of sending a message. Is the games about they twenty minutes away from more mobs and she's worry bag. She made upset should realise that their sort. This out, I'm like I, my Sophia man, I should have told you and she's accurate. You shouldn't have strategies that debate and the sack games, gown and so at an end I got in there, sir, I had an atmosphere, that you love it. You had a bee, I'm gonna tell everybody somethin like so. We had achieved at the end the smack down as like I'd. So let's go back stage. We could maybe there's an area where you wait for your car and its with the wrestlers appeared. Lonely VIP was yet so I like Stu, that's always find your waiting. You know your your side by side with triple age, he's waiting for his dinner tat hard to pick him up in your wine beer. Your Mazda three sixty but anyway now I gotta go home. I don't know, I don't know who supervising my daughter and her boyfriend they while
when get out of there, because it was my mom whose you know stairs watch him bill MAR and I haven't, her seventh glass of chardonnay. God knows. What's going on cuz, I, there's no way my mom is like you know, going up. Every twenty minutes to make shared the doors open that you have got pair what is really getting dark? It really. Really husband out carrying out a couple of the college, ready cheeses, apparent corner, like I was a come over, I think you're like me in that look professional wrestling. We love that now it back around the love it again, but when we ve grown up, we loved it when it was piper when it was hogging when it was Snooker o before maybe Bob Backlash then Rick. Steam bought a little bit and then everybody started to love. It speak in a groundswell and I backed off a little that that by me out a little bit right that we are the same
yeah like what like a band when aid recording a garage near here in a minute there on top forty radio in your guy. That's enough! Now that's what happened with the wrestling. Also that's kind of what has happened. What my son, my middle son, my older Alderson MOB Wrestling When added hard for a few years, then my middle son Jack, that went out at heart still going tat off a little bit but liking it, and then the youngest son really is now, just over the last few months, he got an undertaker costume for Halloween, it doesn't fit all like constantly cutting things down to the right size, the wig and the shoes and the hat and everything else. And now the middle son, who does not like my younger son at all, is now done with wrestling he's like screw it. I don't want even compete and wrestling's down, because my little brother likes it okay, the problem is. We have, and I think you have you you might be the only one who has more of these wrestling figures. Yeah, I think we have like to
hundred you might have like like twelve hundred, but you know, but there is no shortage of rings. There's ladders does all kinds of things, and so you could have matches. I used to use star wars figures when I was a kid, but they do of a restless. Everyone now have like two hundred these miles ones playing with them? The middle ones like Nano, those are mine. These are off limits. After the little one comes crying in my bed, I'm trying to watch the London aim at six. Thirty in the morning for God's sakes, Gimme Gimme some room and he comes cry. Says his youngest is older. Brother says they're off limits as it now. That's ridiculous. Aren't even hit those are his brothers they're, not even his, and my wife like you, know, I'd just by new ones: look at it by no one's is two hundred of these. The re that one of the damage they caused between between fifteen- and fifty dollars right, I'm not doing it. I'm getting pressure, the buying the new ones buying them. I'm not looking for anyone to send me. I just need. I just need some advice on crime.
Not to buy new ones right, you'd, only five hundred these things lane around first of all, I was at arresting me with your son nine days ago, the Middle one anywhere. He brought a giant championship belt and rife with holding over his head and screaming for two hours. So now he's out a wrestling well he's out of Iraq. Has he doesn't want to make the little one look cool? So if the little one like something he wanted to be deemed babyish right, so he's got a kind of away from it. I know, is that a weird spot here he rose. So it sounds a little hypocritical sure said again, I thought best thing about having a third son. Was you just got to take all the time he bought for the other challenges gave it in the third kid Tat will agree that it should be a park for me. Yet I go it's almost like half half the ass. They were a real son because you they just have the old ship from the other sense. Yes,
right now I need your wife to call my wife or tax there and say your dear acting foolish here: keep the wrestlers don't buy anymore. That's all it sounds like this. Is a nice place for Jack, your middle son, too Prove and show that he can be bigger, met really didn't have any. You can't Jeddah MAGIC Umbrella, Jack. You could, you could be the bigger man here, gave a mere your figures, now he's a big area that conversation now. What do you want me wants to quit? self and not let anyone have his vigorous. What if you bought the figures from Jack and then replace that asset with another asset. Then you're not buying more figures. That would have been a nice plan. If I don't have the cowboys on a teaser and then the charges on the teaser and that I'll ever Elsa so bad. A gear bugger reorder yesterday Saturday via my parent corner, you know my son was on my part: Ass David Egg is Nick Crosshair loved it and so
the first time I'd really ever seen him nervous, which was just shocking. The good news I think we found that on a Wednesday he recur in time- owes Yom Kippur went to France- asked night? Who has one of our friends meet me in my wife's, who also has two daughters who the younger daughter and better in the same class and about to her friends are there they're, just a bunch of girls have been was in his glory cuz. He just had all these sixth grade girls that he could like do this thing with, so my wife decides she wants to leave and Ben is like so he's the hay. Somebody asked me: am I right so he stay there's terrorism to us. They one is it's. It's he's got all these six rigorous. The other one is the your game is on the claim that clean Kasza disaster bend
I had to draw all the Dodger fans in the living room and is telling people that Croatia is gonna choke doing this. Thing in any day, and he is, I see I told you he's trash- is to unite the tacky eleven year old, barely know anything about sports thing. Actually like pouring gasoline into the fire. With these poor dodger fancy largest, enjoying the game after yulka poorer, then, ah hell is broken. This I know nothing about this. I went to a party last night that had multiple dad's her at the thing in all them separately separately, brought it up today has. That is that you should have seen your son trolling everywhere at this Yom Kippur egg. About the lodgers, survived the thought, m about about how that Psycho, the troll people as their going through just one of the most whore
sports experience in the end, a ban as a red Sox fan Patriots Van. How are you gonna do it? You should pay someone else s eyes. You can't do that. It's a good point idea. I made at the gate. I, like a re, absolutely no crawl. The daughter talked about, but the reality is that he's doing the He was doing the cackling thing before now: they're gonna guy cursor. Does this other tyres poured a Catalan inside adorable outboard fad? Sir? That's that's the pair quarter for this week.
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howls and discover how easy buying a car a car max can really be back to pare corner to designated. As I have three boys one thousand four hundred and eleven write. Fourteen or oldest is one thousand four hundred and eleven five eleven year old Corky, kid he's going to run for Spirit, commissioner, which is crazy because he wants nothing to do with school at all, not a damn thing and all of a sudden. He comes home, and he says I wanna be Spirit, commissioner, which involves like writing a speech making posters campaigning and all this other stuff and he's going against. Other fifth raider Anna its kid miles, so I have a lot of suggestions for posters which brill
heard all about a smear campaign against miles and the kids are laughing. My wife is furious at all the suggestions on making fit, but everybody's laughing exit for my youngest son, because my youngest son, they partner, kindergartners with fifth graders, like you know, you have like a fifth grade body if you're in kindergarten, like oldest kids in the school, I teach taught you well It should have been my son and my other some kinda garden fifth grade they don't get along. So my fifth grade son past is like now let someone else take Harrison. I don't wanna take em, so I guess who picks up up miles Paris and and Harrison loves miles, and is booting from miles against my son in the race against Spirits Commission and got so bad that the by fifth greater and Harrison, and like knows too knows yelling at each other about like the civil war, one when brothers fought each other,
like all laughing and trying to pull them apart. It just gonna be bad. It just can be bad next few weeks, it's amazing feud between the two brothers. We really haven't seen anything like this. Since Michael freighter evaded It's gotta love of intensity right there, You either onto a tall both anytime soon they going when you are Melissa, your funeral, one of them is gonna, be like I'm, not I'm not going until I'm sure am positive, he's out at the other ones out I want my brother there. There is a lot of success succession elements by pair corner. I've talked about this. For by my daughter and her boyfriend, I have a date every usually fried in ape this time. It was Saturday night and they hang out. They watch movies and it's really adorable. They really like each other, but on. But this time around his mom came to come pick her up at
You pick him up at like one thousand one hundred and fifteen or something like that and the mom shows up or talk to her like come on down and nothing two minutes past hey my guys. Let's go nothing hey. What are you guys doing up there? Some movement? They died? They don't worry, this story is not going to get gross okay, they come down there. Both like look like they've, been asleep for like an hour. They fell asleep watching movie. And I M D, explained it ass. She had had a baseball game early. He was tired. She put a soccer game. She was tired. It was like You guys literally, are married couple now: you're, fine, asleep, or new action cave ten o clock and fetch you skip. All the stages of relationship you ve already got to the end, the worst part they arrive Fall asleep: oh yeah. What happened? I don't know
just as the authorities said it wasn't. Your grows, remarried this is really incredible. Its maintain we expanded early been fifteen years. That other they're getting divorced soon, I think, is that this is gonna player. I was gone all week. I was in Brooklyn. My wife came with me for the first time she came like Wednesday through Saturday or Tuesday through Saturday. Yeah she's never been there like physics, it's a fun experience. She knows I on the show chosen. Trust me on the road, but that's story story, but she got her. She got her father and his wife, her stepmother to fly out and to watch our kids and it like quiet people there from the MID west. They settled in Florida. They take us Zoom book class. They go on walks and that's it. They rode on do alone.
But their responsible and I wanna, watch our kids and I don't think they know what they got into now. India, because you know I mean you have a fourteen year old, who not great about leaden. Anyone know what she's doing or the case, but my son doing my wife has a tracker on her phone so that, as is bad, she could figure it out, but they also know that and they get nervous. There's that thing the other one want the middle job won't eat. You won't need they accepted ravage the whole ravage the of the pantry and they crazy, but that Annie invites a neighbor kid over to also go through the pantry, and so they were weapon out about that. Now I guess it's just that. Just stop job Centre and then the little one. This old bastard keeps asking my father in law, why he's not still married to his grandmother grandma all throughout the weekend,
apparently hidden hand all throughout the week, and so that's really there's not. We call Jack in there in the car they're nice, there shuttling the kids to practices, soccer practices of football practices and they're all in the car stepmother Father in law and the three kids and I mean hey guys, how's it goin in the middle kid goes. You have the come home right now. You have to come home a number this with Graham in the right. There is a need to come home right now. We can have them. What are you so that it's out. If anyone wants to watch Ao3 monsters next year we go to Brooklyn, please submit a resume, so I got to take much you just really know. I have to know how to drive. It sounds like there should be a pair version car max, whereas people you can watch your kids for a weekly,
Oh yeah, attired MAX lack a word. What you go, I don't know parents for weak backs, guess the allies, the the fact that you did this to your wife's parents was real can occur. The added to welcome somebody ass a two year insane world. With that you know the two parents, with the kids. You get all the time you don't realize how weird some of this stuff is until somebody else is in charge for a couple, yes and and they realize you, like your medicine and younger son, refuting thank for real, yes, a fighter yeah I was bad always do that in our hand, the land there now I made in my letter that took place last week, my son laws that election he was bombed, dad and no one was happy, and so they have to deal with that, my God will playing off that would work been people into worlds.
So we had a whole bunch of people here has written in this state farm shoot. First post came after the paths and read after the backers chief, so we had. Probably they tend to twelve ringer people here set up in the back. Is we're foam and stuff and I was like. I really hope my son doesn't look at this as an opportunity just to be consistent. Just to basically have an audience and I had an right now. Of course he did and he got this new football. That half of it is is square, so you throw it like a spiral, and then you know it about is off the warm bouncing back to you. I would have made with this for I don't know a thousand hours when I get away you yeah Fisher, I would never stopped so. He asked in it came in the mail today for some reason, so he really wants to play, but in the back yard you know about these people on Theirs camera
and there's barbecue and other stuff didn't stop I'm hastily whip in the ball off fangs and gone around and just doing his things in the programme, Spyware, smack smashing propane labs, other stuff it cigar. I knew this is gonna, be walk through. A common aim is comin out around. I would say six o clock now you just in a t, shirt and his underwear- and I how'd, you sky was under a car. I think they're Spongebob Underwear, Spongebob honour not like tidy ways like a little longer small breeze, You know we have man, we have women here, doesn't stop him. He's walk around he's playing football. His end, the trampoline and and just to spend, put some pants on no no pants. It are so the Good NEWS is, he left his father. In the past as well.
I was able to crack the code and I went, and I look through Ellis text with his girlfriend, which I hadn't done too well, that's great and too because boo- and it's not just boo boo in the address book, but there's a hard and smiley faces and all the stuff, so One text about she was talking about applying the schools and she was really nervous about getting in other stuff and bear bed tax, thereby you are thee, though none English and then I really screwed because I'm not even sure I'll get it Eddie other schools would. I leave willows three hearts ass, regular They really scared, because you can't spell thirty, twelve reawake straightaway left with a text. And words- is the latter. Hard verges wearily, laugh it, but so innocent love, it's the best that has been lost.
There has been no. This ban the stories you tell the prayer Corner stories its unclear. Worry about this slight yeah. This car max gonna pay for a coffin like when our kids Balin and murderer fail if you'll get his revenge later, I wish you could say I really screwed. Yet bed. I also really screwed their foreheads. What efforts and take the issue later just they're back together. They really are the durable couple again in though he abandoned do. I hope they make it so this week for those- and I for Paul, I did Thursday thought the hollowing fell on Thursday, which Thursday football I went Wednesday at the grove dressed as my Austria hands teeth, and so we have this day, rob with a big gap and is in the front teeth and I ran around and I tear fide people the growth and, as Michael stray hand, state and say things.
But things like I have ten jobs, and you know back to you and Andrew out, and I was just show and stupid things and people who know that was going on and then we throw back to Michael stray hand and he's gonna get me suddenly my cousin Jimmy Tommy just get everyone on industrial, a furious at you in good things happen. So we do this and at the end of the thing I have to give a pic, so I take the mask off, and I go to my kids, my eleven year old and my five year old and one of them dressed as a forty, nine or a prospector. The others dressed as an angry bird and I'm gonna say so as a final score, forty nine hours They seven and I poured twenty seven candy corns into his pumpkin- is plastic pumpkin and then for the five year old, I'm like an Sir I'm Arizona three pop up blocker and then he kicked me and he held back to you, Michael, so that the angry bird kicks may and at that so now we're all on Thursday and we're gonna why
As regards guys, it's coming here we go on tv, we're gonna watch, unlike thirty seconds, they re. Currently put their ipads down their anti. It should be a bigger deal, one three fifths of the family. On tv right freely to dig a prime time that ok Wasn't at my house and my wife was a guy right: let's, if they want to I should otherwise it your watch it. Why am I know? Let's watch it now, it's on now the world's watch, and now it's not being so jaded, so they put it down they watch. They know how it's going to end with me, giving the eleven year old, twenty seven and the five year old three and at the point I poured into the loving year olds bucket twenty seven. He turns to the kid divide This is now the five year old jobs at his throat. And the eleven year olds got his fingers in the five year olds. Are I dont? Even I can We see the end of the bed like I couldn't even here, what's dry and said in response to the bed, because their screaming each other and fighting and to make things matter of matters
my friend Harry, is there's three hundred pounds he's trying to get between them there, following on him, they're following all the couch, so the moral of the story is, but I did just don't put your kids in bed. Sir, don't talk to your kids, I think that's immoral store the moral story. Is the blood flowed in your house between your two sons? It's unbelievable a hit. This is regular carried. The parrot corner. This is a thing there. On television have often this is happening to their friends. I think a lot they couldn't even watch for forty seconds. I remember bread heart. No one heart had a whole thing where they turned on each other for leg: that's right! Six miles, yeah, Oh no, my bread! No one more intensely watching the game is a bed most intensive watch, a football game all year to make sure there team one. Of course forty Ized. It ceases doped, my parent corner,
If it's you know my son, when Jack Nicholson from the shining for Halloween divided, none other tat he made by I ve taken to a store where he could buy. Like a kind of the overcoat that looked like Jack Nicholson's overcoat, he did his hair like Jack Nicholson. He and acts, which I mentioned, that a previous parent corner that he had bought on Amazon and for the foam handle she was running around plunging into people's chests and they were legitimately terrified till they really. His movie. Whether it was at this year are we watch it? we he was watching and when he was like five, a matter good, not a great father, yes whereas Jack neighbours around. We need the limp, the whole thing, and that leads into his birthday, which is next day, so it thirteen kids over. Oh I've left out the part hollowing. We ran out hollowing candy, because we had
many people in my neighborhood really tat. It was I The first year within my wife always buys like an insane Amanda Candy and we actually ran out. We bought. Sons, Halloween candy from him. He he had to him and his friend Ben Lambs. They had this big garbage cause. I've been going on for five, ours and we negotiated, and we actually bought other candy and thereof fired up about it. Last going Finally, I think it is eighty dollars yeah yeah, so they say: but that Sudan is the worst. So so then the next I mean it was a good deal for both sides that would have kindly we're gonna CBS There has been a huge pain in the ass light. I did then charge him for his costume of that you made your wife go get. I should have thy didn't. Think of that. I wish you d better. So then Friday is his birthday, because she was born on November first after all in- and we had thirteen kids here
in my way did I could read like these big kind of blow a big screens that are attached to an apple. It's basically like round: driving feeder I'll write. Yes, I have seen so sets up the backyard and good boys is out on Amazon, my son's favorite movie, one that may seem like eleven times and he got. As other friends. There are watching it's completely inappropriate. I can't defended so she set it up. Some recent can't control the via. So it's blaring, when I say blaring leg it. It's Blair you can hear it and they, like parents or parking on our street wave is far in the Frank here it and this is a movie where it starts out where their talk about a gay hand, job jerk off and his shit is wearing. Through our neighbourhood, to solid ours, as by wafers like I can't figure this there had been doing her whole thick with the virus
and we just blasted good boys through our entire, never grow, and even if it wasn't great at one A ban is like you know what I can turn the volume lower, but it's gonna cautious, seven hundred fifty without it die. Will you know- and I know I haven't even great for this week, but I did post a video. This happen Sunday, but I didn't even know the video exist at my mother, shouted of my son, running all the way down the field and slide tackling and taking taken get out, Anna was as read as a red card can go, I'm he ran the length of the fields. I took them outright re worried jungle and it has like five hundred thousand. I call them a dick on twitter migration than but, as I have another views on on Twitter and I was getting a lot of feedback,
I'm gonna, make it so good boy said not net, not as necessary and girls, but boys in the boy is the boys are nasty. We like them I know I like that. He has a nasty side because I think with boys soccer, you have to have that cider not gonna make it so. The boy said net not as necessary and girls, but boys in the boy. Because the boys are nasty. We watch some when my daughter has the games in turbulent boys game on a field that storm we watch him. Those kids are like. China kill each other. Really, it's interesting it because this is now This is weak, eight or nine. They are not only have they once weaken them its quota goal as a team since week, one so at all But this is what it is all about is a five year olds running after just taken guys out, because they know they can't score Vodafone.
I have a good parent corner that will that were to take the when you hadn't and pushed up level because involves my kid playing sports. My son Ben Football players. First game is against a team that they had beaten the week before by like three touchdowns. My son is in sixth grade, but his plan, the seventh rating, with four of his friends and then some seventh graders in its they weren't gonna win the holy, but they had a chance to meet the files potentially thereof, twenty two to nothing in the first half, and it seems like it's. And that their thank God Cosette. I honestly, would have lost my mind would happen on the sidelines, its decided. They're, gonna ease up or a bit. So it's gonna blow out, because this is he notices in classic thing that happens out here now
it's a little after at her would be Annesley tiny bits after the run up to my whole feeling is it's a plan. Game can fuck around three scores. That a big enough we'd when you're talking about twelve year olds. My son five days earlier was dressed like Jack Nicholson from the shining limping around with a fake acts. Administrative. These are not brain surgeons, we're up and the other team cuts. Coming back and because we had a younger team, it just kind of falls apart So all of a sudden, it is, I think, I think, we're up twenty four twenty two we have the bar and The other side lines going crazy. We have a chance to put the game away. We got screwed by a couple of calls and it's some point: there's some color some flag or so flag garden penalty or something
And why the kids are, our team goes, that's fucking, bullshit! I gave you take one guess who the ten year. Apparently, for that. Imposing ears sunburn. Well, it's even worse because thought it was somebody else on the team and they gave him the penalty in the kid that they gave the county to as somebody who had never in a million years swear. Unlike my degenerate son, so mad that their lives in this game that he just last then in it about swearing and then ten What time do we go backwards? It ends up missing the drive so now he's like ends up at one thousand five hundred and ten, which one battle tat is tenured swearing powder? I gather, as I was grateful so now he so upset. He feels like he caused the game. We're still winning and he's up Mozilla bizarre thing comes down. They get a play in its support, the clock supposed to run in the Games Post and for some reason they stop the clock
give them a chance for, like a hail Mary, throw which, of course they complete eighteen loses awe and we get knocked out of them I have ran one having at twenty four point. Eight near or twenty two point laid whatever was that's, and then my son is convinced that, because he swore during the game and date, data and put the game where the last drive this far more listened, and then you probably said no, no, no, it's all your fault. Let him take one of these every now and then let him save money, yeah band Asian is anything we I'd say you know this is what happens this? Is we tell you not swear and then you actually swearing. You get a tenure pony implants camp right. So I think there are some. I told you the fuck off the mark, with discuss like pushing our favorite teams on our kids, and you know,
he liked me is not from the city of the team that he roots forward. You were never born and clay when you were like a kid and you like bright side in everything- and I was a cowboys fan I liked anyway, and we have forced our children to watch these tapes insult. Some that may since the lot of people, maybe it's too harsh, but what? Where does it at? So I played football in high school and I wrestled nice when I wanted my kid to play. Football is a great team sport. I love the smell of the grass everything about it. It's awesome if we can get get it mother to great: let's do it so plateful boy at a great time. I also wrestle and I never told them. I thought he should wrestle, but he convinced the kid on the football team to go out for the wrestling team, and now he's finding out it's hell, and it really is you didn't, did you wrestle and I just felt like it really is it's not it's the toughest practice you have to be in shape you your wrestling around with sick
all your long. You know I just remember: play basketball has gone colleague and the rescuers running their stairs nets with like sweat, shirts and the heaviest my clothes and they, just as they were in the seventh Oriana, Jane your second weight and adapt three and a half months long and it's you, nothing seems fine about it at the idea. I actually think it stunted my growth trying to lose weight now. I'm losing like fifty pounds for like four weeks in a year on that, but but and now he's doing it and I feel like to be like me and I feel bad cuz. I never had this talk with them is like what I'm getting my ass kicked and I was like yeah. That's what's going to happen the whole first you, don't have any skills, you don't have any moves, you're, gonna, get beat up and he's like might think. I'm just gonna, this for one year now I feel awful migrants you're, never going our chance to get good? If you only do it for one year, but I would hate for you do it for one more than one year, because it's it's it's the toughest work at it. You get like you, get discipline that, like the army, could teach you and staff and you can handle yourself in a fight for the most part,
Bedford Finance upon the ground. But you also end up with em photographer another terrible diseases when some poor school doesn't wife there mats down, and you have like red marks on honour on your neck for all of February, so know what to do. I don't know how honest we need to be with our kids. Fur like do you have to have a check was the right, here's Oliver. I've done, his all things, I've known for here's, what I want you to avoid like. I wonder if we're at that stage, if that's a good way to go about it, but I feel bad that I've now done this to this guy That's all doesn't like it, though, found the: U likes it, but it's also part of the curriculum so you're either taking football. Are you taking wrestling you're either doing what football work out in the off season? We get credit or you get wrestling credit. You have to do some kind of sport yeah, that's what it is now. Yogurt
for that and he had a heat. Filler he's gonna, disappoint sea to be wrestling and Jim nasty acts are very similar in this respect. If you talk to people were grown adult who did it when they are in high school college and like which duty if you had to beg- oh god, no, oh, I would never do it there and I think that's important forget it's so good on so many levels, but I just like. I just feel bad As I said earlier, watch the MILES Garrett helmets keeping live waiting for Dan Tenderfoot over the basketball and one is if you wanted for the fifth peck and my son just happen to come down as soon as the best time about time comes out of the middle after the game is watching it and the fight happens, and they show Garret swinging. The helmet and Joe back is reacting like this. Is you know, like a boat? Is sinking in the rivers and these so the gravest tones and tragic winds, just appalled- and it's just this appalling,
and my son is a laughing anything. This is like his eye, whose guy. Do this. I love this guy Byles Garrett Keith. He merely thinks it's like professional wrestling. So then he's asking: how can I get a mouse care Jersey B, where I work for school, my to fair repairs about cared about his perfect true. He has watched by his bird. What are you tube and now wants to go as miles Garrett. Further next Halloween he was brands, Jersey and carry rather stay or Selma, and just go around our neighbourhood, as scared he loved ass. That is solar lie on it on a tour of torture. This would be a very original take really read this coming in bringing in his desire to Romania. He learnt fifty days. Maybe forget it before the next miles. Gary of one one fan out there,
I well Thanksgiving coming up, and you know I have a five year old and you know at School Brown Thanksgiving day. They do it up. They'll make like paper plates dumb but fall leaves out. I'm or paper place. You could turn into like a pumpkin pie or something, and then they do alike controversial, like feather thing, to commemorate the first thanksgiving, now that there are no no now pilgrims, a native american self, that schools do at Sundown and he also made an apron with his pig you're on it and is now underneath- and he gets this thing and he takes it home in his name is Harrison, but it's written out, and we don't know if this is a helper kindergarten helper, or a teacher, but it's a J, r R. I s o the end has got they ended, make it then make the play. Was too too small to narrow to fit the end, so it's his hair or so
and then me and the wife and his two brothers just start laughing and calling them herself and he attacked us all. He goes crime it is like the other guy who tag then in for fifteen minutes, I fires I gave stopping is for and finally gets tat tagging He comes out all of us, like a house of fire like throwing haymakers, because we're going them herself my wife is just like cut it out. Stop it right now, and I think I cannot stop it. I want to call it get house. For the next at least six years now you need to grow appear, and so I grew up for the rest of the evening, but the remainder of the week. I snuck a heresy when there at least once and I and she's a he's, gonna go. I repeat that major attacks, as I just I love it, but this is this is abuse right. It's he writes me so much by sank is my son. The same thing that the tag in without being tagged Road, Orangist just sweeping haymakers and those five year old, haymakers punches really hurt,
I take it. They'd Landy there inside growing balls were hit. All things I don't normally get punched yeah and they don't feel good. Does that feel eight right am I I m like hey one more these and maybe not gonna. Let you watch eleven hours of raw and exceed smack down and whatever may provide, was denied survivors ears. Take it easy, I was going to do my yesterday Ben and I played like five hours of some Madden two thousand and twenty. Is that a plug Madden? Two thousand and twenty? Is this game called knockout? That Ben loves its superstar knockout and we played for like five straight hours, it's real, really fights of their quick games are like ten minute games. Bends do indeed it's I'm doing off ads and he people down and then a minor offence and then I'll throw a pick. The lose the thing and he's just softly me and who bahraini be with sway. Hearse
Point Zoe comes in its ban. You can't talk today like that. I'm, like he's fine, he's fine, let the boy forget it loses wide em. Bans like we should live straightness round like no. We absolutely should live street this there. Where's that ever hear swearing, obey AEGIS is I just told the story: don't like a million people suffer from the same back, he hates losing, which way hates losing, which makes it such a shame that he doesn't have like a favorite like football team. Right, because you know like the cowboy situation they have, the tripping you take ip intensity and sex nature of how we handle these losses and if it had been laid the chirping like you would a punch down from junior. Right were sad. That experience then, is always boyfriend where's. Each brackets Vanni Watch football with us and he's got a fantasy. Nice mellow kid he's watching the brok.
We have them on one of the tv for while they're just getting demolished here. Ok with areas like I thought we could lose, I'm just thinking like man, it's funny how the stuff works out like this is This was the site. I thought I would ahead and instead of the said whose assaulting May as well as we share this batted stupid super knock out game and his calm. It get a jerk. I can't believe you blew it cetera. Controller, Otherwise there will now be continued deck and no time not just news waded out. That's why I want him to get to know Harrison, so he com Harris so an egg. Despite each other that lobby that it be it. The final death, Gaza were under its thanksgiving. I had my parents are there. They are speaking to each other as a whole, crazy dynamics? You know my thanksgiving, my parents are there. My friend,
and Don barristers there he warms up Jimmy him alive his girlfriend. My friend can Harry's parry cans butler. Where we will have a lot of misfits. We have a lot of family. Then we have my immediate family there so The kids are run around Archie. My all this is watching for all of us. My youngest is watching for all of us. My middle kid jack odds can be twelve years old. Everywhere. He does really wanna. Do it s so he goes on his Ipad and gives us exactly as much time as we have for dinner, that that's, how much we're gonna see him so because nosey ass, to be at the table and when we go around the table, say what we're thankful for. He barely gets out day of my parents and my family, my friends, that that hurts and even say that and then it is. I can I go up. Can I go play my about again like yeah, fine, but ever just stood there would be no one, you draw benefit, that's fine, go planner. I baths We we deserve an unworkable o king. My wife has friends over
Some some more friends combine we're doing karaoke till I get and thirty at night, and we haven't you jack and ours and Jack comes down grabs. The MIKE poor puts in a song. They see ten t. Knox it out of the park wedding, even though he knew this song. You bet not even using that he's playing to the crowd is not even using the The words on the screen is turned anti and then that wasn't enough. He falls it up with. What's it what's the individual Songbird California love Why have we love and to city? It has gone crazy in his darkened, like like you really like feels the lyrics. There is always talking about us. We in that
shine. State with a biomass has been diamond shine and looking like a Rob Liberace, and he knows it in the good old city city of good I'll watch are you really looking at us and fill in the music and then he's done? They drop some like Chapelle and walks, often as evidence in the rest of the night sitting. Helen Morocco, jackets he's twelve in February at fantastic, so my son, who turn to of earlier this month, he he's just bennydeck, lately how much of a dick is so bad? It's the Tec and in can get away with it with my wife because, as you know The mother son bond is just unbreakable right and there could be ninety two straight offences and then three minutes of hugging are just just affection for them.
In Austria and if our Judy the system worked like motherhood was sons. Everyone would just get out of prison immediately right. So we we ve come. I think so. He came up with this term, but when ban as I just being a deck, we call bench rating if heads terrific, so there's been a lot of bench trading lately and and Thursday night. He was just such a deck and just the whole and here is the huge pain in the ass, an the innovative my wife was mad at me and she's like Am I grieve enemy rider she's, like you know he just the acts like a deck and then you know you, don't you dont step in and then I have to be the bad guy and in now I'm getting bland. So I gotta talk to ban them like look, you had a stop in addict here, mom like it. This is your mom
be nice. I nowhere in the family were together other time. Other by this is your mom. You you! You have to listen to her. You can't like snapper and she's the one. That's always on your side and you're a nice kid like you, don't get to just be a dick and then think like it's funny. So I talked to him. I go downstairs come back up and he's just lying on the bed with their cuddling and she's totally for analysing and its I've just the whole something it's like thirty seconds of him, just pouring it I'm and and that's it she's back in the palm of his hand. I don't understand Well, he understands his figured it out right. So his figure it out I'll tell you, he hasn't figured out with Kyle they'll, really your cause gonna, throw him through a surfer, Syria soon, I don't
what the rules are for assaulting your kids barometer, google them after we finished package, could give him Google, it's good, adding an elaborate if I die. This is not going to make me. Look too good bananas from those who doesn't really matter so on. My son is wrestling he's a ninth greater every week, or so he s a novice tournament somewhere different. This week I was in Santa Monica now here's the thing, there's no buses for they freshman and sophomore, so they have to get to the wherever it is on their own. So luckily my wife ass to drop em off at the school he's carpooling at six hundred and fifteen in the morning and he gets to Santa Monica. He weighs in he's been wrestling for like three weeks. He doesn't have many skills other than what I've taught him and then threw a few practices and he's happy he's like six foot, one he's a hundred five thousand three hundred and fifty five lb and so he's wrestling all sophomore pretty much so it's it's! It's been a rough road,
and he gets there in the way they do weight classes out here you don't get like you know when I grabbed was one hundred and thirty two one hundred and thirty eight one hundred and forty five, and I think it's like that here too, when she get the varsity. But here when you get to the tournament, they take all the kids in the pool and they bracket them off like every fifteen pounds. So he was in the one hundred and fifty two one hundred and sixty six way class he's one hundred and fifty three cuz he overate on Thanksgiving so now is rest Older kids, bigger kids, more skilled, kids, thirteen out something I call me when they call the one twenty pounds and I drive over to Santa Monica. So I said tax me so text me. I get there and he's about to wrestle any gets, flattened and the second pair, like the kid. The obviously had one is very low centre of gravity whose closer to one seventy one. Fifty there was aiming clause. So he comes up in his eye. I think tat
said the girl, shit, you're, quitting nieces, none and I think that's it. I was double elimination already lost her lawyer as equity. Talking tat, you just called me, as would you wrestle ten minutes ago, like yours like twenty five minutes ago, as if this is the w w e? Don't they give you a ride? What is this is done he's like as to what happens now, there's no bus and he's like well, I should stick or as a guide dog, you should stick around wash the rest, your kid, the tournament. So I call on my wife and my aid. Nobody
come out here looks like art is done for the day and she's like all. I wanted pizza in Santa Monica chose pizza. You been there I yet one of the best it's great as a guide on care. I'm out here. If you want me to drive, that's fine, we watch a few more matches. The torment ends. We go to Jos, pizza, he's down the dumps. We order a pie, half pepperoni, half cheese, it's great and I have one slice about my second slice and the homeless man homelessness is, is crazy and Santa Monica he walked in and ass his I can. I have a slice of pizza and there's three sizes left its one pepperoni to regular, and my son Archie is like oh yeah, of course, and handsome the pepper only, and am I well all. I want the pepper owning the now a car beard Thursday, where air body, not only my family, but no one in the place of work and every hour. I want that
grown on online parting with a slice, but did just the analogous home his cap is looking at me like reminded gentlemen. I don't even know that he likes pepperoni. It was just offer the bat right if you didn't make a say that at the preferred pepperoni, why are we offering the Mattel Barone but heading with Archie, give people were everywhere, gives me to look at my guide, I'm beat now and he walked off with pepperoni and light, but I'm very them very charitable giving Tuesday I dead. I d tongue, but, and I could have just bought another slice for another- two two hours and fifty cents, but was wrong to want the pepperoni. In that instance, yeah I mean that's the way you should ask every us at the table if they want pepperoni. Thank you. Yeah right, ok, so like it was a really fun car at home. After really, Father's, a lunatic effective, taking proper only from the homeless guy
I'm worried about almost people's flogged arteries. I think I think she's is better So I was on the phone the other day, and I in my way my daughter were downstairs in the kitchen, my son came down the stairs and was crying so we thought it was crying and hold the back of his head. And we're like all my guy, like he fell off the bug battery Felder arresting mover. He jumped off the back of the dresser from onto it. Pressing there may, like other other usual thinks you did, he get hurt now. He hadn't gotten a haircut in a long time in his hair, is like clouds its credit. His hair was crazy. You I was gonna really it was. It was just- I can't even describe how long was inadequate trawler was in and you can get away with this in California
and he decided he was getting a mullet in the back, so he took he took the scissors like you would to you too, to cut paper something any choice The cut the mullah in though what he thought was like a multi in the back, and then he didn't do it even and then he went to the right and then all of a sudden hid basic fact. Now now he looks like moved from the three stages in the back of the head. He's crying using a bit but hair and are like serious. I that friggin vainly right as a rule by super upset Anna and his inconsolable. So then closing off fix it I'll fix and they upstairs they come back bad and she's. She comes down first and gives us to look means only the look like video dolls, their laughing like that. That looks like a k, so he
dad we're like I'll. Let's go, let's get, it looks terrible. They Ellis modestly looks like he has the he's a twelve year old with the to pay her so about ten minutes, said, I just can't take it start making fun of him. He get super excited reds upstairs. So then, the next next to day He goes to school where a ski cap so his whole back his head, but the ski calves pulled down. So you can see that like his to pay shelf back of his head, so they carry takes him to somebody. Somebody close to us, like somebody close to our house to just got a psychologist. All just a Abed a salon- that's like it neighborhood just to quickly like fix it up so looks better she's an alarm and affect some fix them. So are a great white think either just cut it he's had crew cuts, but
for he said, is you don't take cuts whatever just cut it start over she's a nun? Did she can fix it? So he comes back and now it's like a bull haircut, died of card of Dorothy. Have a member Dorothy handles aircraft from negative? Seventy six other taxes in earnest viewers, as he has no idea luck as their causes? Actually goodbye buster! So now he's making fun of himself and great uneasiness where in a cap everyday and weakening, Dorothy about cotton, Cagney Obey seed, Augustine four things: he doesn't get the jokes make myself laugh and so he has that in for a couple days and then finally Kyle steps in and takes into Fernanda the Barber cows Barbara, where anything about it and and better actually ends up this Saturday. Yesterday, with eight with a pretty cool Erika, I thought it was. It was a four day odyssey.
But the report does it here that don't cut your own hair right for those in earlier years will grow for girl for sure and for a boy yeah, it's it's bad in his defence. The back of his hair was completely mangled, it actually looked like it like a hate crime had been committed, like somebody had, than him on the sidewalk and cut that out of his hands so anyway, so there doesn't he's out a mohawk before I that's. The thing he's had a mohawk is crooked sees at all this stuff, but this decision last, as my south you're on the clock, Arcola we're we're not going to be able to hear about my is there a speaker already, yet it must be our guide. What's going on some kind of a slave driver, I mean it is worth having Christmas Eve right now, more of us than I mean what kind of wood I, how many? How much of this two people need?
here, where there were about to do pair corridor, diva pair quarter the eye of a parent corner. I it's here's. The parent corner, Sal is nowhere near his children. I could see tat parent corners, empty, there's, no parent and apparently have apparent corner for either. I let's hear it. Ok, so you know the off on the shelf is a big thing in our house. Yeah like a big thing like it, it consumes us because we forget it and then we have the lie the whole next day. So we try to remember written most of the time we do, but my daughter chain, whose five years old says: what does the off go at night and my wife Molly says: while the Elk goes to the North Pole to Hell Santa what he saw and Jane says, will how does he get all the way back here? The morning Molly says while magic, I guess
indeed, says am I supposed to believe all of this is fine, but it had spread aztec. This market can negotiate that will watch she'll, be lurking on the stairwell when your put new the presence on their China. You it's gone all right now, yet our children are opening their is that really true yeah, we got a Finnish said yeah, that's why I came up because people deserve tears, downstairs living worse, daddy and and everyone saying, while daddy's doing upon a ship an original. What's a podcast and leisure. Well, as you know, you'll know when you're a little bit older podcast is but a right now. Daddy's doing it and it might well be Heroin, you might say Daddy's during Harold role is rolling out This voluntary corrode totally sober and bonding with his children
no way Marcel, as you should see, where right now, you might as well be sitting in my bathroom, I dont believe the crow think for a second, while the other side is Andrew old girl. I don't believe it. Part of that or nor do I bade the alpha, the chef. Well, right. I'm excited, I was. I got a chance to be part apparent quarter. That's really why those gay thanks for comrade Jimmy Nokia wandered on my wandered down. I ended up I'm not gonna talk that Baron corner, so you want to buy that for your parent, learn and obey my enemy at yours. Is that so the family Mary, This was more happy hanukkah all that stuff, and I and we'll talk to you before ran won by a good job, all right. Well, I might as well go right to a Christmas morning got a fourteen year old, very appreciative of everything. In the other, two of kind of bratty, twelve year old and six year old tomorrow,
Vibrio turn sex and they open, like fifteen, presents each in our very blaster ruin. And yet we have a lot of cousins and everything. So the gifts are coming in all say from sat on it in his hand, this answer that everyone believes not not the fourteen year old, but the twelve year old still believes that a six year old for sure believes and all we need is a picture of them by the tree after everything and after they open these gifts and my guy, let's get a picture and the like, but the two young ones like dad enough already just get out of our faces. Like you, sons of bitches you, I can't even count how much money and how much wrapping and everything else goes on, and I was like a we got you all these gifts, the least you could do is take a picture in the twelve year old is like using
for us Santa did not like that's it, I'm doing a blow on the lid off twelve years old. You can't you, you can't do that again, not them not to have. You have to tell him. First of all, this kid has access to porn. He seemed porn online arrive, and he believes in that and Santa I think, there's an overlap than other. You can believe him. I really don't there should be one day was pornography by accident and believe also and Santa, and I was ready and and she was holding me back. My wife like make was holding rocky back when those statue was unveiled and he was going after club relying outside there and I really I was gonna blow the whole Santa thing, but I showed some restraint and I held back and we got the picture and it's a shitty picture. Nan shitty, kids, happy hard. The eighties you didn't get us anything what it is
to have the holidays where you have a lot more time with their family here and there you need a hot air from the how they're right last we went back Simmons family, my dad's family made as six brothers and sisters. They sell Christmas every year, because in other parents are dead and they just the very close irish family So last year we actually went back with surprise. My dad and we crash the Yankee Christmas swamp, we brought gifts and and a bad mixture give so we're all in it, and it goes and Ben a year ago, gets this gift that includes these scratch cards and he's all excited about crash cards so goes through the water, and then after, as you know, the egg is well, then it goes than you count down in reverse, and if you don't like, you gave Deacon swipe it, as it goes from last night
and you call Yankees whatever we we call Yankee Swap is aware of it. So it's going back in when he saw the scratch cards like he's just about to do it and would like five spots ago my cousin Morin, etc She goes overrun swaps, gifts of Ben it takes to scratch cards, which ethically was pretty dubious. I felt like like a uber, maybe under age thirteen you kinda, don't take the kids gift. Would it would have been by RO, take the gifts and how bad has no scratch cards and been devastated, but pretending he's not but more importantly, knowing him and knowing that he could fly off the handle, I'm not worried he's going to like having like you, fly off the handle and start to start being like the offense of Coordinator Friday, that, just go nuts. He rains it in then on the way home is like. Never stop, never go to Yankee, swap again socks
cause Lord bullshit. It he's just furious so we call him down so then he's talked about it for the whole year, He wants to go ahead. The Yankee Swamp and take learns give his wit. How I was caused alarm she's like in a mid thirties, your cousin, its banks, the near she's, an error like early thirties. So for a year his leg it for it it's vacillated I'm never going back now. I hate the summons family to I want to go back home and take learns. Give rent because he's a maniac. So there were always wise ordering knives on is the age and to bring those on the plate. So we didn't know where you go back and then last minute we decided we go back, so we go back, but the catches.
Cousin, more n she's, not a yankee, swap sooner Ben Ben can't get revenge right, Yankee Swap happens, Laurens Brother end up getting scratch its ban on the way back, takes the scratch guards from words brother against the revenge and is acting like it's. This is the eighty six red Sox going back into Shea and taken the world Series, gets the scratch guards back and is now like writing I ever since, because he is a lunatic cs the little half days holiday, fear we story for you and I'm gonna. Yes, oh under two hours and fifty cents, one on those cried one who'd hours out of like figures. The scratch cards should call the data
of the hardest couple heartwarming holiday stories, Grason! That's! If repair cornered, two thousand eighty, we have one more bs pack ass coming this week, don't forget about car MAC stack com. Fifty thousand car max vehicles nationwide all available that by local car. Max for details and discover how easy buying a car at car max can really be done about three watches: couldn't Tarantino as Well Dunkirk. That is now now book book, but comes comes back next week as the second absurd that we watch was in all the other awesome pack ass. We have on the Ringer pack, ass, thou art. That puts don't worry about that. Once we put up this week, somnolence were so. Has one big picture whole bunch of one so check that out and we will see
here on Thursday
Transcript generated on 2020-04-23.