HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Jimmy Kimmel and Cousin Sal to discuss Bill's reason for missing Jimmy's post-Oscars party (6:00), the odds on Jimmy's monologue jokes (12:00), President Donald Trump's tweet about ratings (22:00), Jimmy's growing profile in the political space (32:00), Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty's return (43:00), a special edition of "Parent Corner" (50:00), the Mount Rushmore of late-night guests (55:00), and what's next for Jimmy (1:05:00).
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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the end of civil civilization and all the stuff that's happening on the internet and tech, culture and conspiracy theories, and just how dark everything's getting getting some really good feedback on now and it's not a sports pack ass, but if you're smart person, I think you'll like this when it goes in a ladder directions- and it's really good coming up earlier this morning- went to Jimmy camels, fair smile boss, my long term friend, he hosted the Oscars on Sunday night cousins I was there as well and the three of us just hung out and talked about Sunday night and it's coming up right now, but first brought him I would take this attitude they morning. Jimmy camels office is becoming a tradition.
Yeah. I guess at this what time is it? A tradition, urges the RP answer. Me because it's our Sears wound with last year. We did this and it was the biggest ask fiasco in the history of the workers, this year is a little more mundane yeah. Thank God is that a good thing, I think so yeah. I think it was fun to have that fiasco but to have to fiasco set at that point. You think like okay, well, there's something it's like. What's going on in Washington right now, you know when Sal Wentz's, giant parlay and all the categories that it was the Oscars when chalk? Yet what did she do? Sal is here the biggest fiascos you pronouncing the word fiasco I find this problem? I think he's here didn't get a good job better, probably technically correct. If you're really Lily S fiasco, what was your parlay Santa Fe Oscars hadn't?
I don't know the layers of aid again next year, I pilot all the big favorites. I stayed away from best picture and it was a trend. All the big favorites minus Five hundred or higher, or twenty nine, and also in the last ten years, why, like I'm, putting them together again, snouts thirty foreigner? ready for now. So how many different categories did you haven't? This puzzle was the two. There was the two actors of the two accurately Mcdermott, an old man at best and supporting director, and I cocoa, just for good measure to add the at all six doin. What six an hour at nice now amazing, this one wasn't it fortunate I gotta get out get out I'd drop toward us. It was like seventy two. Wanting to one and then you're gonna. Do it again and we had a text exchange about at the edge
without hesitating known? I didn't do it. I know it. I want you to know the second time. You are adamant that shape water was gonna win and I don't need you talk to horror movies. Don't win its ban, you go back to the exorcist. They just don't win. I will say this: I will reveal this sound. Very on edge all and not about my performance of anything other than we want to make sure get out, didn't when basic picture, because you don't want to hear it from you grabbed matter. Are we going to do and music all just pull up? Thirty emails from the fact that other things wrong about that is called the clippers record, and that will be that when he went first screen ploughs at this is great and then then ass shape a water was when the technical of that they work it out perfectly because I did want to see him when something, but we also them.
Eat to hear you for your bragged about for a long time. This is yet another loss for me. Why you're here I wanted overcame and second the Y know their release that it's another war. Have you as a European and the Oscars Jimmy? What are you asked these people when they were right about how it can even the people who run the academy dont know who finnish? Who decided that this is the people with a price? Waterhouse group they know everything! Well, why didn't you tell us about so precious will be a man. I guess it would be disheartening to people who come in last may be coming, but though the Olympics do it everyone it as do at all, I'm BP, when they did they would they pick. The NBA asked our game that captains pick the teams there like we're, Knacker released the boats and they came out and it came out. Who is the last pay? I wouldn't be funny if, if like, there was one movie or per in or cat in that no one voted for yet I can see roads. I was probably the poems are at the heart of ethics.
Was weird. It was definitely, ah, you know, shape a water I world and a huge fan was so like them. I respected it. I dont I'll, never watch it again. I my watch it again. Thinking about this, the other the other night under the languages of sunlight largest while potentially to happen, but I like that I'd like to get out like ten times it's an hp all the time and I will get sucked it. I'd watch get out in the middle of the day, with all the blame
and up, because I really I get scared and horror movies, like the guy with me for a while so and any turned out that that's not one. That would really upset me because was, moreover, thriller than than harm will be, but I was worried about it, so I wash in the daytime was so that's why it and come near Asker pride. I've been saving the story for this part. What is this? You watch get out again now. So you, your party started like ten thirty and yet wife was in Boston. Ten and I had the kids wild and ten thirty is that right so had the kids in my plan was to leave the house at like ten thirteen, my daughter's, almost thirteen like they'll, be fine right. She's up put the alarm on you, ll be good and we watch the movie. I netflix I'm frightened. They cover on a car, which is this spanish horror movie. It's basically
conjuring in Spanish and his petrifying in my kids, slept in the same bed frightened I had scattered innately. They were like freaked out as I. This is by you watching us advantage, horror more because my kids of horror movies, I don't and also a bad parent, Sunday, your raising children who are gonna go to conventionally Terror bank I now turn to realise them. Collecting thing Gloria magazine and they're gonna have little dolls of creatures from black lagoons, etc. All over there. That plan so Sunday I was I guides. Are you guys gonna be good tonight? And I could just tell my daughter, you been there you, your daughter's grown up and you have another one, you my daughter's right between you, two daughters, children, never exhibited any fear of any kind, but you know in their there twelve thirteen and users No, it's the only. I knew I couldn't go. Those there's one alarmist excuses. I wasn't
That's what had? I have a friend a spanish harm. What were the odd whether all the numbers of banana Veronica number has? It will be inevitable, but empty big. We think they should have room for babysitters www last minute, babysitters Loretta grew everybody's vetted. Stranger comes into There were better than we speaks knowing loudly somebody has made me. I met them before year. You just take thirty dollars an hour for sinister age, your house- they probably have that so anyway, but some really really mad at me. TAT, an even larger EU out on early in the morning. I had, I think, of it. Set Myers. Is there no sentiment? they give the. How is Europe my side so that a party did you go to it? I dig uh huh I had baby no carried in that carries a you. Had a baby sitter were made my website you're doing a minute, so your kids, are now old enough. Do not have a baby sitter, well
Well we're last month. I know what I learned was that they are now a month linking enough not old enough to have a bit did not have a baby set as because your poison their blind ass ban on watching spanish harbour with Veronica, with these people getting possessed so speaking, possess Yes, I was very worried about you. Disasters your eyes worried none of this one. I was worried. His climate was definitely, I don't know not comedy friendly, yeah? I know it was an intense Oscars waiting, a great it wasn't the ideal situation going. It was in a great wasn't a great room now and you disarmed it, but there is a lot of thought put into it. I saw of of rough draft of a model you like this. Days ago and arranged aniseed, something she took out. What did you learn? Yeah yeah, but which eight so you learn like you, throw you access, admires golden gloves on very carefully
allow me to set Myers are, but that was the first line. He was the test pilot and the biggest lesson of that was you throw a name out in the room kind of everybody. Sphincters get tight. I I knew that was gonna happen. I did have that. I because that's always the case, even if it isn't a controversial year, they don't like to be singled out and they don't like the single others out and the main reason. Why is because there are cameras on them throughout the whole thing, and they know their thirty million people watching so
that they are very sensitive to that, and so there worried that they're gonna be laughing hilariously at this Kevin Spacey joke. But then the camera cuts them yeah and nobody else is laughing but they're having arrived, and then they get it now that Heaven who maybe they knew yapping or or even if it does it, even if it's not about being a something is heavy, is the cabin spacey stuff even just taken a little shouted a movie? They don't want to be on catch. You know how it is, but that's when you just show your parents the worse place in the workplace, for that is at the White House Correspondence dinner, because people are actually doing the business of the country with each other and you ve got journalists sitting next to politicians and journalists rely on the politicians for information and interview,
and they are not going to sit there and laugh at their faces. I experiences myself when we went to Jeff losses. Roast battle in Montreal we had a comedy festival. Jeff said something that was very very funny, but truly horrible. I mean, as black as black comedy gets its ugly. I forget what had happened, but something very bad just happen. The news and Jeff made a very bad joke and I resisted urge to laugh- and I just set face soon nervous that ended in the promo. Communist genocide in Europe itself. If I know where they come from, do you have to be aware of that, and you have the almost trick omits to almost like boxing, like you just have to catch them, unaware with a joke to get really laugh at something that story
someone else. We were it, sir. I was I mean we tried for weeks to define that sensitive way to fit our are to me to joke, and their near them are really doing work to me. Tat in Denmark, the best jokes. I got cut wars or anything that you lost. Even now you get hot it. Oh, no! No, not really. I mean there were a lot of good jokes. The problem is that you can only do like to jokes per subject. What I've determine so just remember the Oscars from my God, a different world rewards show the error, the op fronts whatever. If you standing in front of a group yeah, I don't think you can go to deep. He could do it in like with one subject, but if you're bouncing around from subject to subject, you can't stand one for a long period of time. Are you looking for a plumber and age, his leg just fertile ground for comedy eighty, eight euro guy? If there's a hundred million how many old age jokes? Did you read? So I made a relief that he
He laughed right away at the furniture. Really does anyone here. I saw me, you know what is going on. Many times you're good exhale riot, like you are you're happy when the monologue was all right. I was probably your first big girl K. Let's, let's now enjoy but I think that in like batting like when you want a big bad you're, just relieved The aid that is out of Jack is a chest bobbing in everyday. Just like you're, you're happy, it's all right. Now, that's kind of the Harvey once if this was a race track, the Harvey One
in section, is the hare patterns about life by the way that you just touched on there. S is what you should be scarier, kids with that, instead of radical there's no joy or celebration, I really unless may be few in the Superbowl, but in the end, the rest of your life. If it goes well, you're like ok, good that went well goes badly. Oh, my god that was horrible, ran, never recover from this. My friend they incur, as has its twenty, our Basque by that committee, and that can be any his pen and he showed me a couple segments from one of them is cod relief for joy and it's about coaches, about what happens when you in and how none of them can feel joy. You just kind of happy. You didn't lose yeah! That's right! This! That's right! Yeah bling entertaining
very well. We had there is a website out there that had odds on all different things from your model of area. All yet aren't you may auditors k we didn t Karma, it scared all of us. I know why did it would it have been illegal for us, the bad on that stuff? It would have been a league of. I think it would have been shady for you, too bad at it, but Leadford to take care Couple of maybe here you're, that's younger employees, I think, are like kind of most degenerate, yeah friends that may be don't live in our way. Let them helping our bank grandma. Ok, you can sign up for the website and put in the put a credit card authorities. Could you mad and Sal, calling him saying listen! This is guaranteed in all this. He is gonna mention he's gonna mention Nancy Kerrigan in the model out four times that the overall, what were the better was like trot? He will mention tramp. That's interesting. The Trump mentions
one and a half, and as of I think Saturday, you are right to enact change one of the joke and then I think it was zero. On only mean that you said his name, I mean you will lose your wise name. Actually yeah, oh why don't you just move a little to grant you thanks to the fight, you change the Fox NEWS, rare that's right, yeah! Actually that those mark, as did the Trump, is another one that, though she said the name problem when people here that name they getting all. Oh my god. Yes, so This was like two years ago. I don't want a name any names, but Louis K was at this. He had a client at the Superbowl and we knew how on the national anthem was gonna be here. We did that on that thanks Louis swear, he taught us never tell you, it was a prank hoarded, it wasn't pre recorded, but he saw the rehearsal in a member
was like twenty seconds higher than the over under here there was. I was right that had who will be Jimmy's first target, who will be the target of Jimmy First joke and they have like tromp and they had need me to himself. The asker dude abating faded away and they had emigrants owls at seventy five to one- and I was thinking consolidating what will be kind of loony light? How would he do it? How would he, but now they add- or maybe maybe you do, make her the target and then donate at all to the out of an early hour? What about a story that would have meant that it a larger get rich, also jeez, can it's hard to believe Sow was able to find some of this website that I didn't know he cared about it. I guess that's what we gotta tell you about something all born about it. I guess that's what we gotta tell you about something all born. I beg you react. How much can you win and nothing really it's more of a losing proposition since the last time we did this odd again, their sours lodged a gambler part cast in launching a new generation of the job,
let's get out of their leader, because it was a hard for you do what I want and now you're able to give you the word out there through the mass weighing Jonah stuff become legal status, have sound, as is bad with Harry before the superber via the Harrigan, is what fifty fifty two power by Super bowl, fifty two and then I give him fifty two hundred hours, and we do we will know Harry, is though I mean she's on it. A general trifecta Adam, he could have a big fat ball. Guy went to college what he kind of get took me to the next step of the way. Gambling. Yet it is really want you experience Harry and that whole group, the fact that you met in college Secondly, if that's not worried that you'd be Loggia Wearin wherein the joined together overseas, we arrange, like some kind of boys facility, assure this. He was a townie. When I met him, he wasn't enrolled in the college. Was it that way
Your high school would just peddled parlay cards and everybody knew him around town, and eventually it took his summer money here than enrolled and with what to say at a time around again yet so so they have, though the way off Somehow you end up being the host of it all right, but I or attacked the hose haddock that I was gonna, miss it nice called salad and tight. The deadline was, as I'm two minutes away this mic drivers taking forever to manage these ideas. I will pay way way way. I wanted to see it
You hosted Harry's way off, and then you hosted the asker this month of each Ethelwyn Harry's land to be the biggest before it after the tv when it was over you're just relieved right, there is no joy. Learn Arabic, Lord of Harry's, was one of the guys were at the Superbowl and Harry stripped down his underwear. His underwear work the fact that he chose this pair to be the pair. He would wear in front of everyone on the internet at a meant that this was his paramilitary, looking like underwear from like one of the World WAR he made of burlap when they were ill fitting anyway Harry standing there and is under weren't we stuff like what fifty two hundred dollars down his front of it short. That, as recital ten year old son wandering around near the pretty much naked Harry could best part was, Will Burke's daughter wandering know whose daughter was it. Somebody's daughter came in with a girl scout cooking,
yeah I had my past ages right hand, proudest, to Girls Ganz, thereby cancer. I said: look, there's a guy standing right there in his underpants has not eaten in. I don't know we. And has fifty two hundred go right. There is a God. Are you gave her like forty eight hundred tonnes protect could break the? U S. Postal service is an important tool for any business, reaching every house out everyday stamps. That com are of France brings all the amazing services of the. U S: postal service rate, to your fingertips by and by Officially: U S postage with your own computer and Printer SAM's, dotcom even and your digital scale that automatically calculates exact, exact postage. Their posted this catch, you can't get at it at the Post office, is the Eu S. Postal service Right at your fingertips. You know I love stamps Dhaka. I lay candy
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free from that point on because, as subscribed and I like to change my razor, so this is great for me. You can get your performance delivered your door, no more getting matters up because he just got back from the grocer storm realize you forgot to buy blades his relatives, right today pick your favor razor get every fourth order: free visit, Gillette online at Gillette on demand that come back to the cousins, Jimmy and so I back so the Oscars. Yes, you were at you and President Trump today,
he went on. He went at the Oscars first about the ratings. He really sets himself up very well. It's almost I was just like. I can't believe that person would be ratings, wouldn't be so self unaware that he would tweed something about ratings in his room. His approval writing, which you know he has delivered to him in bed every morning. It yes so unbelievably low, but I guess that's what you, if you're a psychologist, you would say that's projection, TAT, Elsie, everyone else as low ratings and then Nobody'Ll notice. You have low ratings when the truth is exactly the opposite. Things have thing I was instead in this case the spin control, which we talk about a little bit about what happened to your life, an ice here, but the spink ensure I could tell one in the Ngos is going to be well.
Can we get to political? That's why the ratings, although I did hear that's, why the ratings are down the reins her down, because the best movies shape a water and the two best now you're, actually, where Gary old men in France has been termed there, no star was alive and television does noodles agree. I think there is no signature? Any look at the patter, the ranger down all time low for Superbowl M Oscars golden glow? I think you know they ve been in a lot of out and out with one other war cherries way and since Netflix happened. Since you know we are now able to watch anything, we want at any time we don't have. This situation were like oh, the Oscars or on this as well
why only one thing has gone up: the bachelor bachelor badgers steam. Now I don't know, I don't think so. I think the bad dollars, maybe even with last year when I worked with the badger, I mean areas less channels like something like the bachelor could get like twenty million people in their seats. For now it out, I don't see any road through the Rwanda tromp say he said: I think this is because there are no celebrities in America. Our Mars, no stars accept meat and much like our age and James Baby. Don't sell dixons at just kidding. Of course, a baby does a little bit different. He says key, being kidding you kidding me indicates that he was not kidding, but if of new realized later here that he offended somebody so you're kidding right kid exerting right is: are you crying very dollars, warned us that is listening to this by gas, which is a big big.
For him, Dessert Canada's as work for him, because yeah that'll do no harm raised to get a pod cast on a flip for it here in this house who he is, he has to hold it up over his head like an antenna Nowhere else accounts as work could tell what baby doll story from this week and he shows up the Oscars out there's rehearsal. This was Thursday night at six thirty. He shows up with his daughter Emily, who had just arrived from New York and he's a half hour any sound asleep. I send you the picture of the side by side. The tumor sounds leap. He cutting out to make. You feel good, Jimmy any wakes up for a minute and airily. It does have the baskets of fruit and everything it all ends up on a sea like it's a movie theater, but as a banana appeal on the ground. He's around fretful like an animal and then he arrives and then his God knows it. You just explain to me pick s lap, he littered he laughed so
comes further weak I've always trying to figure this out for you. He he makes it seem like you need him, and this has really important framework. Conaway tissue. Were you but our? I would I really stays with em, where there's a counter Kay said it actually is more of a burden. That is how the outer laying out the catechism state but the union have to spark heads. The problem goes around everywhere is constantly texting, I'm late, I'm sorry, I'm running late, baby, the traffic terrible knowing. Why do you need this he's beyond these explaining? Why he's like you, it is a little monologues. We had a round table read on Thursday night and the table. Reed was at six o clock baby shut up some fifteen yeah unbelievable, for he was at a meeting with me before, and it showed up ten minutes late for a meeting he had arranged and then left at six, and it's like I have to go to Jimmy's too Whatever you have to be. There said we cut it. Looked at the boats.
The violent here. For the first time you did the monologue during rehearsal he's on his farm version. I fathers like what is going on is unknown in the studio. I can't even get out you stay. It is an item asian he's playing the character of an agent in a movie that we don't realize it's a huge german show this week and I would urge you talked about. I think they will be a great candidate for this you're saying Coolby, but down four or five million. Now. What was it to make this this animated short or to make a movie eyes. Yeah a few million bucks- and you like the best of everybody, Worthing and maybe baby- should do this still just put down five million that we're China quickly Immortal yet corbies laid out this blueprint for the shortfall, Moscow, which is a category that is usually these people, that of slave the way for three,
Here's in Liberia, Ryan's brothers are doing in naming foaming down there. I found you neither eating Rahman every day to survive and then call becomes indicates a John Williams he gets. I thank all the best people. They spend an insane amount of money, he blows everywhere: Pussies Kobe Bryant, half the academy, probably Laker Fans- and it's like this is great Kobe Bryant and meanwhile, stand. The Cuban never won an Oscar easily could have done this and have made that three minutes are found in the asker counts, the same as ever in us ass? I, like a their different sizes like to see Stanley try to win the NBA Am Vp was we had a Raja Sherman at the ringer. Was Saint Kobe you now that the EU yeah yeah, so he said Kobe was the first Elam fail. The Lawrence O Brien trophy Envy, P Finanza BP, austerity, BP and ask the ELM affair, so the EL as the Lawrence,
it's a branch or that it has given a better. But I think this is babies blueprint now the weak, Vince Baby to spend four million hours on a short found. He just smoke suggests its errand smokes. We women and we ve been better off oaks and convincing baby to spend four million dollars on a meal. Could he had done? Madam? I don't leave. I hope it out here what we did was there a meal. Did you read aloud? I was mad because I thought it can have a party, but any pointed out, the Jimmied, and why oneself- and I dare you- come Between my I thought there was a hard in writing get invited. I would always upset well. First of all, there is a party you did get invited to Diana Sunday. I have no reason to be upset about any they stop, but I saying this, I never told baby our real it. I have one now our ever said that he he willed that onto me, baby, you don't wanna, have a!
Like an I don't know, it depends on where I wish. I were a nun. That kind of consideration has never been taken weight. So, to recap: you never told baby, you didn't want the frightened eight cure, all my friends and family and tat already now, baby then told sow Jimmy told me he didn't want to have the I I just still didn't want to be bothered, and then then I have nowhere to go that. What what I would have said is you can have the party Enola be great. Last year I came because
was regarded as a lonely. I probably would have come this year. I think I was set and raw would had time to come. But you have to understand that if I can't come to it now can come to it right, but he just deciding in one of the party. You know babies. They has encouraged him or he's you'd. Think that a man who has like seven houses each one exceeding twenty thousand square feet young would be a little bit of a free spender, but not really the case. Why Tom in I'm gonna they too? The masters of my dad and I saw a baby and baby was like I'm goin to this is great and then You didn't tell me a five minute. Sorry about how expensive his trips gonna be. Taking a people has to charter plan. One running a house is go and Saturday tickets. Are you insane amount yet give them back or it may be laid out the whole thing for me
does any other age. Do this now here's how much money is spent this. He was so. I did alone on the week of leading up the Oscars last week and he landed that day, come straight from the airport read to Ellen and there's no better time they catch baby them when he's arrived, stray from the airport because he is just a tornado. Cigarettes right, especially cross cut your just answer x out when here when he has a six our trip, he doesn't smoke fewer cigarettes that day, yet he smokes the camera just smokes them all in the radical dress.
Undoubtedly, and no smoking rattled car and then when it turns a bag, and he just yells at them and says I did not smoking are. The idea is not like smoke when I got in there, and he shows up at that moment that he arrived Ellen was in my dressing room baby walks in he's is read as a lobster. He has been at the sun and email. You know I'm watching the news in New York sell things up in he's been in Florida for the way he is tanner than trumped hats in he's loud. His hair is all crazy. You know when he gets that he's with wild. Smells like smoke in Cologne and Ellen. Looked at him like there's a while that is there an animal segment tonight because he's a wild animal and distressing and he's like baby wants kisses may loudly under face and then embraces as it Jesus old Age, and I just stopped
What do you remember me Ellen? You know, you know he lives there. Two thousand to be daul, unknowns, just nodding like all right, I'm going to ease my way out of this room tat way. I liquid parades people for doubt, remember: is a classic. You remember, though you remember, was two thousand five. No me to eighty two in the morning. Sean PAN pretended not to remember me ass, I am to me, the story of how I did it and there in the? U S: women's gold medal. Oh yeah, now on their way guy way for a lotta grateful as soon as I heard they were on eyes like now. It's gonna be right in the middle and trying to get pictures with. I watched man. It's a wonder your games with our aid and talking on their gold medals, taking pictures and see this. My three guess bathrooms are made you could have large, but then the woods thing rig.
Hey with over nineteen thousand state firm agents nationwide. You can get an aging that gets you as well. As Paul George in Russell Westbrook get each other, that's the folks the ringers new relationship goals, video Russell S, Bhopal George. I thought this work. Paul Georgia's cover the overqualified number two in Russia, Westbrook obvious enough: Thou Wast who likes to shoot do stuff. It's been ass. They aim to watch them Canada, side who gets about them. The games have enjoyed it Paul, George, probably the to airport in the way grain our best offensive, where that's for sure, and in Westbrook Avecilla Force of nature at the end of games. Their stats combined have helped the thunder lead. The league in turnovers, forced per games and points off turnovers per games will see if they can make the playoffs. That is a ton western conference regardless be sure to check out the video on the ringer dot com. It's come in this week or the ring.
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There's. Something like I know now is that one of those like ninety Darwin and Rock and roll- do you like the moans like the remote, like the teacher you're not allowed to wear a deal. Of a ban. You not into Albania remains. Can you Joey, nevermind, Remould Tommy Sow. Remember the always tell you. Maybe you have Bobby sorry, less IBM, always great back to your love of the remains. Yes, your profile is up. For the first time you ve had like the people out there that I fuck that guy. What do you mean? There's a whole segment out there, like that guy O, though there been there's been that for a long time since I use is made of the country s segment that it ass, you got political, but you gotta in a way that was genuine to you in your experiences in life. But people stood out like that. Yet People are very, very angry and this country right now why ass
everybody ass in this way. They will live up to your attitude does not now rivers glossing over this. They will apply to any situation. I can post a picture of my daughter, eating pancakes and they'll, be like you, liberal policy. Sucker like hey it just pancakes committee. We wait for something. That's right. And to this comment. People have asked about this, but from baby doll by the light and shade know him, and I know how he is in, and he his instinct much like mine and it's the Italian of us is to fight back and you have to and that's the worst thing you could do it. I can gauge
the Lane war in Vietnam. The end you just kind of half the girl every once in a while. You can fight back, in fact, what trumps an easy target of this morning. My I realized something I've been. You know. I've been like a leading up the Oscars, it's a lot of stress and in a lot of anxiety and know when it's over it's just kind of over in own, thereby rights and says all great job this and that whatever and he is ill. Thank you and then you're gonna, it's over. You know yet it's now Tuesday and we're back to work on the regular show. So it's a little bit of a let down, and this morning I got up- and I hope my computer and Trump tweeted about the low raided enemies, Oscars and I tweeted snappy little come back
patent and I realized after I did how I was really happy like I was back larger back. This is better than coffee. I don't know why I like excited to go to work now, I'm happy to go there and respond to the president is drop, is tweet that was directed basically at me, woke as your profile as high enough now that it's hard to find people that its lose. For you to go back and forth with him d will engage. Is its great yeah me, I think, with the with the presence of the United States. Yet he takes time to single you out. Its debts Graham it's a win. Every time I go back, you love the sir. I do I look
it is something we are now ready to like a year ago, it was like Foulon Colbert Jamal, whose willingly and its ally that's really now who's trashing trample whose whose how their treating the the business of the day the verses and told someone from the ringer writes a lukewarm article about us is just about down now. That's that's like two weeks. Talking so long. I about You're telling me you don't have a little meaning that your staff and say that every right, whatever you do you cross camel, but I gather that might have been in an email different times? It's it's. It's very strange live anyway. I forgot it did. Were you guys? Was there any excitement at all? I don't think I got much of a reaction at all from you for web out the
Timothy Charlemagne fan miles of view on your part. It's actually probably listening right now, it's actually the opposite. Why? My entire staff is in love with him, including some of the guys ass. It was like a huge huge, huge moment. Oh you, like that. Number one prodigal son of the Ringer guiding. I think every woman that works for us is in love with them in some form he hung in anything. I think everyone is in love with him like, but, like my wife, my daughter, like I everybody, I know, loves that guy is very likeable, besides being handsome kitten on a great actor, but I thought he had some of the best reactions during the award show not just at the Oscars but at the end of, Spirit the day before really gray, like really get a kick out of it here. By the way, I should say that John Bologna and Crawl were there absolutely hilarious, their exile and spare parts, and I I emailed them afterwards sick, you, mother, Fucker, why how to do the Oscars,
Mara. Take it. You said the lad s body at the after party when you ever get, and it was good to see both of them. Food was get better tat. He put his in a panic room to give them occupied while he went to the party, but to show a little more political. There needs to be. What is your show all its yes allow more political, but you understand I mean you know you ve been here. What we always did from the big
meaning is. We talked about what was, in the news of the day, gravitate Teresa leave out around the news of the day. You have no choice, and if, in a few years we get a boring president, then it will revert back the other way, not just our show, but all of this shows how do you think it's changed late night, just how how people are seeing their shares? Do you feel a gown? I feel it. People are looking for catharsis people are looking for someone, first of all to summarize the madness each year, because it's a lot to absorb and it's a lot of work to take it all in and then also to say the things that they feel like. They want to say, or least just wanna. Thank, I think, that's why people are are watching tv shows and why you see when you do a segment that touches on this material.
Oh it it becomes it very viral. All the news outlets are hungry for are commentary at the end of each day, we have to like Zena tell them what we did before the show Irma. It's almost like a daily recap of others, Daintiness Phronsie, daily recap of the country, yeah yeah, I mean you rode on the show and Bush was an office in a lot of people like em they're like the way was handling the country, but we didn't pound him every day we mentioned them once a weed wait till he ran into a door at the end of the weaker than that we make a big deal out of this. Guy is five tweets in before we wake up. We, after we have to address the present the characters that this addition of this number is like. You know it's really like breaking bad or something when Gus shows up for the first time I go.
There's another great character. It's true. I remember the first like couple months in Eden: Whiddon ACT, one was kind of a wild bankrupt, the aid in really now it was yet, but we would always be so grateful when something happened. You guys. I remember there was that Michael Jackson, crazy, twenty slash twenty interview that he did with the catering slept over and it was like. What is s? Do we do we touch this feel like we got to everyone's talking about it and that's that's kind of what act one has to be. So what are people talking about? The worst nights are when there are a dozen semi interesting stories and you have to make something out of them. Those are the tough nights. When there are big stories, it's a lot easier and a lot of work still, but at least you know the audience knows what you're talkin about you don't have to. Them up on on what's happening somewhere. We? U we worried when Jimmy started diving into some of this, like real staff, worried I ve,
regarding energy, all that stuff. I won't allow family life takes it really personally, when Jimmy gets attacked. It's where, because I think it, but I don't see it as much as he does, but like a fool copy me on a two fold, let me, as my handle on its way, to find a show that our man, then I get what you get like one one hundredth up into my oh, my god. I forgot how crazy people are. Salazar asked me to desist see it myself, yet I'm gonna pay so happy does it have. We had ended liners and when is when is Billy's birthday April twenty first day after Hitler's said that we were very nervous. At least I was I do at a movie born on Hitler's birthday. Oh my house efficient handling, all union at the hold it in. If you start having contraction exam, it's gonna be along twenty four hours. I had the apple My son was almost born and Halloween and I was really rooting for it. For the Michael Myers kind of death
but whatever I just wanna come out. Guy stated their three hours longer, just missed it. You don't wanna, be borne on hollowing. I was fired up for it. Would it's the worst Demi your birthdays just gone? Well now he has the greatest cause: he's got hollowing and then he's got near the next cycle to day strive against. It must be just an incredible sugar Russia over the forty eight hour, similar to that of the Andean to address by needs a little sugar evil. Your hearing last that GDP is worried. Last night was less. I Monday was the night after the Oscars we're very tired. We went to bed very late, then our daughter woken up very, very early, and then I felt like this is my wife fortieth birthday yeah. I should get up, even though I just hosted the Oscars that I felt like I should get up, and so my wife back to sleep, and I got up with kids and dumb and then last night I came home and her mom and sister and brother,
everybody in were there with taken pizza and stuff. Like that, it's us. It was quite a two days for me. This is up to midnight last night. Never, and I would have liked to Libya getting on ask is weak cause. I gave my head summits aground post like it's two in the morning and will work and the motto was exaggerated night I'll tell ya on Saturday night. First of all the rehearsal doesn't until after midnight we are ridiculous and they have to be there. We do the whole she'll. I don't owe people notice, but on Saturday we run through the whole show then on Sunday in the early morning. We do the whole showed to time, and then we do the whole shall live starting at five o clock. So we get me in the whole showed a time I mean we start at the top of the show. We go through the whole thing. They have stand and pretend to be the sooner. It literally do
four hours we literally do for our Jesus and then we come back and do Saturday night and then Sunday morning, but nothing fried what's funny when everybody thinks the Oscars ran long, that nobody has any idea was Realising again it's ok, I'm pretty sure it was our intention to women in Turkey play, they always say like you out cuz, it's going to be three hours and forty five minutes or whatever like we know it's going to be within a ten twenty minute range of how long the shows going to be, but for some reason it didn't doesn't really run long. When you know what the length is going to be in advance, but I'll tell you what I was nervous about the first time. You did your your monologue at that rehearsal because there was already yeah. I was nervous about that. As I got on off. This is the right move. I understand how you do. It will mean there is the embassy at already reported the warm baby and fade Dunaway. Were there Why that's ok like I could see somebody's news but like in your basically ruining a shall here it s boy
I don't know why anyone get out of, except for one two hundred hours they paid the guy who would have yet they get whatever collectors they yet. But on that Friday and Saturday night I came home and my monologue was still in a state of flux and I well what was in fact ages was. It was too long. I was still wrestling with how I was going to address the serious issues, and you know I wasn't settled on Roma. I had to cut like two pages in the model. I was like some pages. Alongside the cut about two pages we get home so one thirty in the morning, arsonist crying which he never got he's. Never so Molly goes up there and I'm Sydenham Computer working on a monologue, and then I just hear ah ah and I go running upstairs and Molly is covered in vomit life nap up
like you know when you deeper pretzel and white chocolate ray you look like and it is all over her. So she handed me the baby and I take off his clothes and I gotta now he's happy and he laughed, and I guess I just did and she's she had to go. Take a shower. I mean that's how my oh, my god and she had had spread spray ten earlier that day, so allow violets the agents hit ever she'd at her hair borne out and like every it's a disaster. So I take him and he thinks it's funny and he's wide awake. Now, it's like two thirteen and I'm looking him and I just said: listen. I got it. How that make them all along? I dont know I should have put it. It was a bit me on the nose, hardly other deck. He really just
How that make the monologue I dont know I should put it. We also bit me on the nose hard the other day. He really just got my nose in ten months as when they, when you're holding them- and I just randomly punch you in the head and think it's here in any I miss ten months. I know nobody cares about the self. Maybe this is like the Europe at the end of the show Simurg, it's gonna do one of those issues. That only would mean when you talk about the parents. Corner of Allah has been that could be your parent, Cornelia, ACCA, so parents corner kids. I have a sense that we don't have. We become accustomed as adults to things being on our heads, so, like you see itself has a baseball had on it. Doesn't look we're to us. We see a baseball,
or if you were to be wearing glasses. We say: ok, you wear glasses, but the kids babies would look at Ugo. What's on your face? What's on your head, I need that and the Emilio Atalanta Yucas aims weird that there's something under yeah: that's it either. Now the ten month bark those drugs views funny, funny? They think it is loudly on planting the head, but the heading It is also right air and it could come out of nowhere. My son does the reverse head, but which is under way the dry backward eyes only with me, yeah, so always I'll behold them at all the sun cause. I tell them backwards and he loves it s not just throw himself back when Adona it's funny, but it's dangerous
that I have a buy it now. Here's my quick, fair corner. I took my son's phone on Sunday because he was playing ball inside the house in light, broke a small window and he knew any just ran upstairs. I got scared dog and then I saw the window MIKE. What thou happen? I come up in his own. I'm sorry, you should take my phone and he's like punishing himself on MIKE I'm. Actually you take your phone, I'm take for a week. You can get it back in a week. They are getting a window yucas each over the phone. That's rejected my nose. I was so mad around cause. The play by the house thing as I take the fund. Are you what a hypocrite heating disappears for three hours to Saki, comes down for the Oscars and then he's dad. If I get the next three categories right in a row, I get my I'm back and I'm like what I got. You said nothing, but you know it's be really hard to get three in a row and I'm like allright. Let's do it I'll give you your phone back
this increase ratings. That's so the first, the first category I might there's no way he's gonna do this were hitting other technical staff. The first category is best supporting actress. The only movie he'd seen out of the five, as I told you so is like I'd. Take the item you let him like I so he gets. Alan second line is cobras category, unlike oh, my god really Kobe. So, of course he picks out otherwise, and now he's going to get it. I'm gonna get that exile and then the next one is best animated and it was cocoa which results in an he's.
Any rather it is broken when thou huge your gambler me, this is really he's gonna be in the algerian requires. What really need now. Is it? What are the odds, as are the three categories? Zealand, when he's gonna, get every boy breaks a window and tries to hide it in fact dumb. I would like to share a story about my cousin Celimene couple little detail round, but it doesn't matter so. They'll correctly shall broken window when he was a kid in the eighties, and there were some mystery asked
Who done it because he didn't necessarily walker his mother to know that yet he done it nor powers there mystery whence I was living in the house as well that listen! You! You haven't been in that house there's all south south. Maybe the common man lived on the Erika, so there was a little bit of a cover up and my aunt France, how's mother, went to sow the. She obviously knew he'd done it. She said Sal. Do you remember on the cause be shell when they said it's always better to tell the truth and Sal took a moment and sell said Theo. Did it then, when I heard about barrier between the savers where the seasons, have a quick pair, I do, I guess I do they have on at the it's funny. They had these stuffed animals.
Music duessa do live animals where the preschool would give the live animal to the kid. Every week in the different kid would take it home and you take pictures with the with the they now becomes a flat Stanley look and animals that they give. My nose, like we once had a rabbit, was, is like a rabbit with the rabbit home for the weekend and miraculously I was able to get it back and alive and original yeah. But now it's a stuffed animal stuffed. Animals aim was Molly, and I see this as a visual thing. It's not gonna play as well, but so we had to take Molly home for my son Harrison and you take pictures with it wherever you go so Saturday unscrambling before the Asker rehearsal. Unlike we have to get your mother a gift, I say the kids we're gonna, go to them all and most says take Molly
Do you have take pictures were with her, but the doll wherever you go and Gimme take method cut. Maybe ass, hostess yeah reignited on your new, integrating our unanimous as well yeah. You knew what I was trying to get back on its grand for two years. It's the cousin sell me. While I was flag that had a were added delete, my perspective anyway, the latter figure begun asked. The boy was yonder's picture, baby doll and it has all the sea the ceding shot in the back room. He was vapours into the abyss. We ve got yelled at border, like you need to take their picture downeys like what the Will you dog, I wouldn't even know if I knew how I know now what is Instagram and I'm gonna? Do it anyway? So here's the picture, I D Harrison in the mall Jimmy had a big picture of Harrison cells. Little son standing next to manage that have brought on lingerie department. She gets mad.
Won't forwarded this. It does not make it they didn't like your bob. It's is use your smoothed, the vanishing back collection and it looks harrison- looked pretty outside the latter high hopes for that he looks either superconductor the next Timothy Shallow May. If they play our cards right thanks, I have one more many parents corner cause. We're probably not doing this for where my son loves Hamilton and my son loves Emma, be the show care videogame. He created outfielder named Alexander Hamilton. Any gave him like all the best tower and speed up the stairs any place in our inner him within hits home runs, and he knights and sing same with real, it's like yeah, it's is limiting. It will have that can be living home to his forty better day. That is both the opposite ends of the spectrum: real yeah. It's really that the Hamilton and video curves. So what's next, for who, for you,
the death. I guess I don't know: that's apparatus was your next March Edwards death, which you next big Davy Doll, says you get over the next five years. If we want to be able to say that I am, why can't you just be the ask yourselves, the Rear o either be created. When I you know why not look at me in my face greater I M going to I have. I don't know exactly what the data is, but I'm gonna holster Anne S, she tv reunion lie were excited about this in Toronto. Yeah, do that I'm excited about nice and then the fronts and then you know maybe I'll go fishing Ross battle groups be. I would go to them. We re at Montreal on their, we add a we had dinner and Martin. You brought my short yes for my birthday,
I had always heard he was one of the great dinner guest disease, the idea he might be the greatest dinner gonna write: oh no quantities her where they get people. Their images was marred shirt for three hours a year because well the oil note you don't want anyone else. The target is telling stories you leave us, it was. Is he like who's? The pantheon talk show who We're like the most like more reason, I'm back the way I mean Rickles definitely was no right up there. He was in the end memoriam, and I was worried about you coming out of the memorial Believe me sad. You get, I checked in numerous times to make sure he would be in that in memorial montage, because I know that a lightning bolt with a hit me on the way out of the theatre, the Arab and yeah, but who s in the arrangement of the great talk show gas. Just like you see them on the thing that you ve never been in a plug, steed, Martin March Short, Charles Barkley.
Ah Shack, who else you derive more in german and organ. You drab were driven out of shack than I think anybody ever has. I love you. Ve completely he's captured your comedy, hurt you see things at him that I don't think most people say I've seen those things in him for many years and years always MA. I knew I was mumbling. He doesn't want to tat of those guys. What was the rest? What was the real story? Did that rose like fifteen years ago? All that was the craziest. He was.
He was paying a cousin urged to take a share were what was ass story. Was it's funny Daniel brought this up the other spent eighty? He there's a story shared about shack where his cousin, I guess his version of cell, he he was on the queen LE three four show the couch YO and he told his cousin. He would give him ten thousand dollars if, during the interview he meandered onstage and took a ship and then when the shack appeared on Letterman for the first time, the bounty, was up to a hundred fifty thousand dollars like cattle luck we may have gotten tackled before you have not made it known, Letterman, egalitarian, read it out to his desk. Did it but imagine that guy think about that
hundred fifty in sweating lot of muddy Jimmy you chat, gave me a challenge. I wasn't positive if he was getting and pretty sure is but what did you do? Writing inertia guide yet, just before one baby and fade Dunaway came out of it occurred to me will first of all, I too would be great if I walked out there and just through like four hundred envelopes, they didn't know which one but then hit me, and I ran back, and I said this out. I sit Sal, you gotta when worn just before he opens at envelope. Race out their snatch it and keep running until morning. What would add what I've been out of jail by now? I wonder bright, I dont think you there's any. I dont think you would have broken any laws. You were you had a pass. You are allowed to beyond that stage. Drill due value of the envelope technically is probably less than ten cents. So maybe you get some kind of a misdemeanor now
adopting a broadcast charge should have that our good inaugurated rank ever yeah. I'm trying to think how the top that four of thirty million people is still the envelope architecture. I don't know, I don't know I thought about them, writing them back the light baby- and I told I wouldn't have picked that when they asked me the host again. I said I will do it, but we have to have them back. We must have a because- and it was great you know- I mean it it people, even though almost everyone knew is probably going to and it was so. You think it was worth it all totally yeah I make us think about it like you, wanted, just ignore it and have Jack Nicholson come out and like ok, but it was fun to see them again and also to like kind of being on all the negotiations that when you didn't ass, to get pay this, no, no, no, no actual financial, but just like how it would go. You know
if a fake Dunaway had our own ideas about how you got out, she's is announcing that followed baby daughter so loud she got baby dolls cell phone number fade, Dunaway shut up and out in Spain. To him for what thirty five or forty minutes It was as follows: in really knows you is presenting right, who is S Faye, who, even though this has been both for months, she he baby said of course, baby had no idea tat. I saw you planning to be. Could she lives in France or something you are planning to be at the show she's like no. I have no plans to date before the Shell- oh my god, what it people bring out. What did the last nine months what people bring up to more the Oscars Envelope, the
first speech about Billy or the second, the second speedily, civilian Ives eyes, and yet it is weird and thank God he's doing well, because if he wasn't, I would be reminded of that twenty times a day and emerges come up to these weird. You know people come up your product like how's, your son doings like while I am happy to report and thank you ve. I understand and are being nice whatever, but what, if he wasn't doing well, how do you think this conversation would go, looks like it's just a little we're, so that's everyday people cause Billy, both presidents great. If fines, go away any were other than to work at least a dozen times a day. Do you get it so I get it, but it's about you, Taos Billy, as well as guidance, remained stationary and no one knows, I think, is spiralling and make our package it is. Can we allow weird things to have children to have his nephew evaded rapidly there? This is fine.
Thanks for coming to my off anything a plug. No, I am nothing the plug as you anything about on sugar. Is there a bet? We can what is, however, will get Jimmy and I'm whatever this. I don't let her bare final swell well, though, will actually affect about big, but there's no way baby still listening to this park. Yes, right, o me he's check it out. Here is your oh yeah? What's what's come up and when will you back one moment. We see him again what my son is. Do we do they do? We do like the three part baby I'll pack, ass being a baby to our just go for like four hours and without the entire story. Baby, don't mean you think about these script scripted pack ass, the that SIRI and dirty Jana. This couldn't like the baby dollar six episode ex I'm telling you. I will make a ram six episodes ten. We might have to do that posthumously, because I am not certain that he will be able to continue to work in show business. We we real
Do it proper Luella Legate by a legislative action, is what have we It'll documentary on when the asker it'll be called a short evaluating. Why do you do a short film? baby Don T get other people calling. I agree with the Asker yet Kobe as presented and that as a producer who people what about forty eight already animated. Why? What other person could you get as a producer that would just swing the committee that magic, Johnson, magic people love me the Johnson at here. More than Cobain era gap right. Well, I don't know they love more than could be, but the right there neck and neck yeah for sure, let's see tat may be topic was superb. Here's the automated short, ok calming Lasorda, is on it.
Well he's cutting a guy he's. A guy comes in my cutting or anyway here is cutting these cunning Steve House, the hounds handsome. Yes, that's a vicious problems. Maybe it's early eighties cunning steep how how walks in suddenly Tommy it has an explosion like real fettuccine Alfredo the night before and then his bow movement comes to life and his bow movement actually becomes like like the best player on the team. The best generally, where they have no he's a power? Hitter, oh yeah, is this cut? Dear diarrhoea knows, I don't know we have the oh, but he's blue there came out, blew his daughter book or the end. He turns dodger. Blue you get Maghreb Johnson is a producer yeah one higher other people could be heard. This could happen, get gretzky
for all. He could do this without lessening, because each day will now think this is funny a thousand, never forgiven Tommy for berating one of his kid on. I love that I still have my follow. No, that was very sweet there were no yeah. What did he out? Well We gotta be s view. Do you like to play baseball jackals yeah is not yeah. Yes, you know, you know you say yes, not yeah yeah. No idea like issues are out and he gets there, let's get to work on so there we need emanates until it baby daughter the torture of baby doctor, please agent yeah, they re ever create the baby, I'll Instagram account or now no, I never did, and if we did, he wouldn't know at anyway, but don't we have enough pictures that we give this poster picture every day we do yeah, but I have to save them from my annual Christmas cards and holidays
at the cavalry collected quite a few overall. Thank you. Jimmy thanks, cousin Salvador Allende about against all odds, causes. Zau March band is coming up whole bunch, a good thanks to trifecta. You don't have a pack estimated solely in which I know from the only person in without a party. I think you'd I'd rather delayed nature. Thanks s hide thanks again to Jimmy thanks again. Occurs. Don't forget about the cousins podcast, against all odds thanks to zip recruited. Smart sweater higher my listeners contrived for free aids. Uprooted, accomplish bs thanks to Gillette, get Gillette performance. Delivered to your door, no more getting mad at yourself, because you just got back from the grocery store and you realize you forgot to buy blades that sucks subscribe today. Pick your favorite razor get every fourth order: free visits. Mine at Gillette on demand that calm, don't forget. This subscribed to the re capitals pack ass- that we launched. Ass, weak braggin out
A red after Atlanta ends on effects at ten thirty EAST Coast time we put up the recapture both soul, be doing that again on Thursday and batch. Are they ve loved tv, especially ridiculous, to be the bachelor party? Pakistan to buy Julia limit, is on fire this week. I think Ravin, three, we so very whatcha was coming and guess what guess what the topic is? We ve been certainly for, while wilds creed. We take this, we seek out, and it is, I think the longest free watch was weird. It's almost two hours and goes into a bunch of different directions. It's me Sean fantasy. Wesley Morris and Kim Collins and I definitely the deepest deep dive we ve done on a movie in and what it means in culture and tying the black Panther That's that's a few other we watch was that's coming on Friday morning. You're ready for that see you later in the week
Transcript generated on 2020-06-08.