This week, Father Cooper begins by recalling a traumatizing memory from childhood that somehow managed to seep its way into her current relationship. Old habits never truly die and we all pause to witness a moment of regression in our dear daddy. Speaking of relationships, do we dare drop the L word…lube, labia, libido? Clench your assholes as Father Cooper finally and formally introduces Henry to the world (and I say ‘clench’ because I know a certain b-word really fires some of you up). Be sure to stick around for the announcement of Father Cooper’s world tour…yes she is finally taking up her pop star career. Big Al is taking no back seat to hot girl summer and is taking you along with her on her upcoming adventures. Yes, Betty…this tour once again includes a trip to France…god you greedy whores.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Good and hello. Before you start to man
dear Michael, hasten and really enjoy this episode.
I know I've said at once, but I'm meant to say it again,
July. Twenty first pop quiz
what is the significance of that date?
You should know that
July. Twenty first Daddy gang call, her daddy is going exclusive to Spotify, which means that on July, twenty first, when you go,
open your phone on that.
Lovely Wednesday July twenty first and if you listen on apple you're, gonna, open your
It's gonna be like Christmas. When you got fuckin cold,
ok, it's not gonna, be acute! Look you're! Now,
Can it be able to find your dad and dot dot? Let's speaks history here. Ok,
I'm right here, I'm just on Spotify, Daddy Gang go
press follow on Spotify Little just type in call her daddy click on it press follow and then it will send you notifications, when a new car upso drops no doubt
behind just make sure you're following and then
nothing is changing. We're gonna still keep talking about. Second in fuckin. Ah
overall goddamn Spotify, no more apple, no more! I heart! No more! Wherever the fuck you pleasant, Spotify,
July twenty first, and here you go all in unison. How much does it cost nothing,
it's free, ok,
I love you guys for free Spotify.
Starting July twenty. First, it's the only place that you will be able to listen and see and visit your dad
goodbye. What is up Daddygang. It is your founding Father Alex Cooper with call her daddy, daddy, hello, hello, hello, daddy, gang
I'm sitting here interest.
And of adjusting myself in the sea holiday. Flip! A ok! Ok! Ok! Here you welcome too
I need you to do something for me. I need you to really get it
your time machine were gone back. K fill the future baby, we're going back.
To a time
when I was not young
they'll get out, I was awkward o k, knock
timescale, and I'm saying maybe it was like sixth grade K. What were you like in six grade Betty.
And I remember at this point in my life.
I was watching
All the girls around me develop grow sprout. If you will
and I kept second for mine. I would wake up every morning. I would run my hands over them. I would say there yet
mark my calendar in my little Polly Pocket book in, say circle a date that I like thought that they would come. I would even ass my brother. I
would run into his room, and
barge in, and I say what do you think have they come in yet
and he would feel them he would tie
stem and he would say no
And I would have my entire family also school dude in unison, and they would always say no they're, not there
and you know lorry my mother
always trying to consult me and she would say: what's that
big deal Alex your brother doesn't have them and he's not complaining. I would say: MA am
no shit he's a guy.
I would see the kids at recess with theirs fully developed and I would just be staring at them cried Polly and I would ask if I could touch there's an
a lot of time. They would say no, but I would just still go up and
stem. It was a major reaction. I couldn't help it. I wanted what they had
I need some of them had some girls had huge ones at that age anyway,
my competence, my femininity and I remember on my Christmas list one year the only thing that I asked so
Anna for was.
I browse you sick box. What did you think I was talking about my brother in my home tire family in unison, touched my what my father king, I browse, okay, and that was also the moment. I realize sorry, kids, Sweden is not real K. Santa is not real because my eyebrows never fucking came,
they never came in. It was just a big
old, bushel of who on PETE
buys a k, and this
the thing about not having eyebrows. If you're one of the girls at stacked husband, stock from a young age. I'm sorry, you can't sympathise.
I've always been jealousy view the thing about not having eyebrows. You realize what you eventually paint them
whoa. Uk woe.
There is no divide or to break up your forehead. When you don't have eyebrows. It's just pullin big
run on hinted. Ok, it's an untouched can best.
and it's crazy, because I repressed those eyebrow less years like I remember it's so fuckin side in this literally sounds extreme but fuck off. If you have an insecurity, you know you will go to stream links. I literally would tell my mom. I am not inviting any other guys, I'm talking to over, I'm not inviting any my high school friends over until you get rid of the fucking.
Eyebrows pictures of me all around the house, starting with the fuckin fridge. Clearly, yes, my family does have pictures
refrigerator. I dont know what it says about my family bookkeeper commenting insurance yourself,
and I would make her literally put the photos away because that
person that I use
to be with Noah Highbrows. It's like
became like a distant memory and the
news, is that yes, then I learned that you can die your eyebrows, but the sad thing is that.
The die always wears off so fast forward.
the guys? Okay,
Levin years later,.
and Mine nightmare was why
again unfolding before my eyes.
It was the other morning.
I were I woke up. It was like ten I am, and
were I knew in TAT moment my boyfriend had a meaning from tend to eleven, so he was gonna, be downstairs. Zooming and I was a guard
Go time I
not died, my eyebrows in months, because I haven't been able to find an eyebrow woman in a way that I trust yet. So I
no eyebrows right now in its shocking, as I dont know the last time that I have like literally its full blown, and so I M p
sitting on my eyebrows with an eyebrow pencil sewing
he's, gonna be in a meaning downstairs and so on,
like art its go time. Let's go wash my face and actually wash my fate
and what I mean by that is, I had been
and not actually washing my eyebrows when he was around me because I
wash my actual full face. The eyebrows we're gonna come off and my boyfriend,
ever seen me eyebrow less. I go into the bathroom and I start washing my
Yes, and I'm scrubbing off d like mildew eyebrow this
There has been unfairly like six days because I've been like living with him in his house and, unlike there's, no minute animal alone, so to take these often reapply, so I
to wash my face and I'm scrubbing and I'm scrubbing and I ll
got it myself in it's kind of like who, like it, is,
the die is gone.
Pencil he's gone, I'm looking at myself in what I ve turned into and it's like
evolved, rewards goods and I'm really quickly because nobody look like an egg fuck me wall, like
they should so crazy. Like I look like a
one person like I can not ever look this way.
As I am looking
Washed off face.
I see my boyfriend through the reflect
the fucking mere war.
Into the bathroom I
just about shit myself and my group he's must mean fuck,
meeting. I immediately put my face
into the sink I'm like. I don't want to do so. I swear washing my face and am realizing I
using like clear soap, so I
be pulling like a Fuckin Hannah Montana, where, like she like, hits the pie and are fuckin basic. I don't have anything to cover my face. There's no face mask option like I'm fucking exposed right now, so I have my
he's down and like hitting myself at the water- and I remember that moment- trying to like quickly go
two I'm too,
mobile I'm trying to mobilise and I'm like, is there anything around me that I can grab? That is an actual
not opaque substance, okay, nothing! So
going to keep washing and he comes over to me and he's like hey baby, like I just wanted to say, like I love you and like kiss you before, I have to go into my next meeting
And if you guys are Oji call her daddy listeners, you will remember, I think,
episode. Twenty thou
told you a story of my
hi, insides, rumbling and faking a fight with Michael
my boyfriend so that he would bring me home so that I could murder my own toilet and sad
that was the regressive
route that I went
lightly tapped into fight mode cause. It's all I had in me huh.
Standing over me hand on back still waiting, and I go
you are being so fucking clingy, also Warwick Water,
like slapping my faith them like not letting myself fully like take looking out at the fuckin bull and I'm like you're being so
Clearly this is
too much like it. Can I please have one fucking me
went to myself to wash my fucking face, you're being so needy
seriously such a turn off. We
literally we poor boyfriend is literally just trying to take. I love you like. Let me guess you gonna make your clinging and I'm disgusted by your actions right now, big boy back up, so my boy
wavering shocked and I felt so bad because I remember when I said, there's like he was,
thrown off, because
you didn't really say anything and I could tell I had hurt his feelings, but I
in that moment what would have
more if he knew
we was truly dating and what I really looked like. So if anything, I was protecting him from doing the real me
By the grace of God, my boyfriend,
over to the toilet, and he starts to pee
and I see him without his dick and he's paying and I'm like wholly fucking shit. It's go time. He has his back to me. I'm praying for it to be a long, fucking stream, and I'm like get something on your father, king.
Es. I grab the hand towel
literally just like him
poor head with their unlike slab on for two seconds and really good at this.
I have also bomb, I think, he's a guy like there's no time to wipe the whole face. Andrews going for the eyebrows hit, my face, put it down, I grant
my trusty eyebrow pencil and I pay
I don't have time to get crafty with their. I take this thing I press so hard down
to my face, an ice
apart from the left side of my and of my
brow and I draw us
Looking line to wreck
across my forehead. I take my
winner finger and go right in
between to break up the unit. Brow make two fucking eyebrows.
literally isn't this finnish stick figure line a put out.
They got some think that this point, unlike at least I have something it's either eyebrow less or unit girl, and I told you which is worth so at least I get up it's a little slow.
he turned around
So long myself on to him, I gave him like a big fucking bear hug, so I was connecting while who protecting vest
is so I literally like hugging him may like legs around him. He's like this girl is
psycho. I literally was just told them being clingy and now she's giving me the most like room
and take movie notebook Noah an alley run up, so I
now on top of him and I like go to make out with him but again keeping like our faces, close quarters, never giving him that, like like
students enough to really gauged the full parameter? My faith I,
making our I love you
like I'm, I'm gonna just like keep getting right
you like love, you have a good meeting and then find
we the minute I jumped down off of him. I weekly whip and,
go back to pretending to wash my face and he's like. Ok, maybe you should think about that use him bleak you're in a weird bugging mood and like I'm, fine, ok, I'm fine
enjoy your meeting. He leaves I clear off the unit brow
I sit in dismay for a little bed. I Isley taken
a bit more n of my eye, Ralph his face and
kind of humble myself to just remember like what I really look like, who I really am
I pick up my phone
make a micro bleeding. Please now just kidding,
and I quickly just put my eyebrows back on and I go about my day. I
to tell this story, because
I don't know I just felt like it was a humbling moment for me, and so I was
talking about this at the other day I think was Lauren and I was like it. So
easy cause. I I've had girls right in being like, oh, my god, like
why do I like have sex
with the new guy that I'm fucking around like fully fucking.
make it in front of this dude fully getting skull. Fact I mean weird positions. My belly roles are rolling and, like I'm fine with it, but now I have to go.
The beach with him tomorrow, I'm fucking,
terrified to get it.
bikini and its agree
he's seen me naked? Why am I nervous to get into a bikini in front of him, but I can be fuckin leg spread up in the air and like Tommy's, hit my fuckin forehead like what's that about and
I feel the same he's always you guys, like I'm so fucking comfortable with my boyfriend in the most intimate setting out that point, we're like I can tell my boyfriend like high. I have to go poop like
this one like d eyebrow thing is where I draw the fucking line, and I know it sounds dumb: ok,
I get it, but I feel like
Well, ok, I listen. I have bigger insecurities and more like obvious generic
and securities that a lot of people have, but everyone has that, like one random insecurity that, like personal to you and that
like so specific and mine is my bugging eyebrows. I remember war and I was like telling her
this story issues like oh yeah, yeah yeah, like you, know, mine, and I was like we weren't minds, my big toe, like we. I forgot
I really like yeah
don't you reckon please, I'm always wearing clothes took with
in shoes. My big toe is so far as scheduled. Weird
symmetry about it, and so I just
wearing open toad shoes again. So,
specific and may sound dumb. But if you sit
yourself. Permanent, instead of being like, I dont, like my body shaper, I dont like my weight like there is now,
one personal thing that is unique to new hold close to your heart and is like super fucking
built militating if it starts to get exposed and I feel
even just like telling urge saying this story- I'm realising- oh my god,
crazy, also now to reflect and be like one
its wild. How far
we'll go, and maybe you guys Phyllis aim of like too
Conseil that insecurity and bears
where's baking bucking fight of your boyfriend, so he doesn't know it
maybe next therapy session all try to get it
like what do these
like represent in my life, so
keep your heart is updated on that journey, but
No. You are not alone when it comes to little nip
key things die really
he'll like so much bigger than a little NIT picking thing
now, as I finish in that stuff,
by also realized, like my boy
friend doesn't even know that story. He fully
Things I was just a weird mood that day and the beauty
having a pod cast that your boyfriend listens. To is highly,
B. I guess I am fully outing myself, Idaho Bab eyebrows he's now going to be like sleeping next to be moved slowly, tidied up working cloth and we try to get it off to make. What does she actually look like? This? Is the truth and
if you want to break up with me, I end
Stan. I am terrified of myself, so I can only imagine what you think when you see the trivial
what's your personal updates as I'm on this little rat, because it's kind of a fun week, I'm feeling a little happy just keeps
adding better guys, K summer how girl summer it's all happening,
I'm alone right now, my
boyfriend broke up with me, who's going because you are, I don't have eyebrows
I remember what I told you guys about my amazing Malibu car sacks ad hoc earl summer and how I was gonna use social settings to fuck my boyfriend yeah. No, no, my boyfriend just left for a month to go
make a fucking movie and he asked me to go with him begged me. He dangled.
a lot of things in front of my face, his balls being one of them
and a nice Araby and be some press
thence said: hey, we can go shopping when we get there.
And I'm gonna be real. This is just what it is. My boyfriend is not going to like Hawaii or the south, a fuckin France for this movie, and I told him listen. I love you, but if I go there with you that will send me into a creative raw and like I can't do that.
the daddy gang they dont need London all over again. Ok, they need Alex hit in
streets being single were breaking a whose good a sore about?
the apart for a month and let's see what this does to our relationship and how this goes. Hopefully it
the UK also I'm realising, as I'm telling these stories, I'm so just casually. Just being like I
The EU you and he's like I love you,
I don't know where I missed the beat, because I feel like every fucking episode. I just an fully telling
a detail of my fucking life
my boyfriend. I yes, we
officially say I love you and
it seems like
your day to say that allowed on the call her daddy podcast coming for me. I dont know if anyone ever thought, I would get there and the thing
as I have said, that two guys totally in the past, but it was always so calculated. It was like some shady you're rich, like I love that rich deck, like you told me you,
me and I love you drew your bank
oh I love you. I love you and it was always a play of like
my boyfriend in college, unlike you, are on the men's hockey team you get invited the best parties. I fucking love. You like Alex
That's not the point,
of loving someone, but
time I would you
whether it was to finance or just even, if I didn't feel it. I just knew I had to appease into abuse it now
it's the first time in my life that my boyfriend set. It first and I didn't say it
immediately- and I didn't say back for about two months, and it was the healthiest thing I have ever done, because I feel like old,
Alex would have been like I love you too. You rich. I love you instead
I being there
He was like. Ok, I talked it
I immediately he's that I love you and I was like hold that thought and I ran into the closet, shut the door
face welcomed my therapist I'm having a breakdown.
Actually remember. I did that with door number three. I will never forget what the first I'm you ever told me he loved me. I was in New York City staying in the lower east side in the arm.
fuck? What is it I forget, the Fuckin hotel name but and.
He told me he loved me.
and I went into the bathroom walk to the door.
And sat on the floor and literally state and therefore an hour and cried that
is so it if anyone's new here, if you, if you needed just gauge fuckin issues thou,
with my response to a man who was madly in love with me and treated me amazing. That was my response to that. Ok, so now you can see the progression. I waited.
because I knew I was getting there. I knew I was crazy falling in love with him, but I needed time
And he was so respectful and I really
threatened therapy to be like. How do I feel like don't force
if it's not there yet, and then I did get there, and I told him and
Our relationship is great like it's here we go here. I am like I'm saying I love someone on podcast,
does not mean, however, that we do not have our issues. Hence
this past week
the maturity is bleeding through high buckin bloodstream. That doesn't make sense
my blood is not Taipei, its type health
Worse, but can you guys I dont have writers whom this show you my blood type? It is health apartheid with health. We got
to fight this past week and
chinked. That's how you guys about what the fight was about now,
is actually a really intense by
boyfriend, I kind of was telling him like what this ups.
was, but about Bilbao, and I was like and then having to say we got into a fight, and he just said like Alex. Please do not podcast about this like come on.
Remember and not more men being kind like
will then give me something podcast about what me over bitch like away
care you're in a different bucking country, and I was like ok, look fuck.
And I think, if not more men
I compromised, and I was like a communists. Haiti. There was a fight, but I'm not going
into detail, and I hope you guys can respect that, like I always I'd try to be as open as possible with you on the show and literally tell you guys how far the
Eric was down my throat to the putting of throwing up and what chunks wherein throw up in that moment, but this, I think,
made me realize what I was sitting down to podcast today I was like wow. I guess this is.
This is why I say I love him. This is why we say that to each other is because there
the boundary and I'm willing to put his needs. Now
of content, but, like
side by side and find a compromise. Again, I'm telling you there was a fire and I can tell you what it is about and I think that's growth and my therapist
Bob to see it, I dont know
I feel about it. I'm like the tongue of the tongue, the Tipp of the tongue, the fight stored. It like this, no growth.
There has been like a very little Crete, not little a big fat furry little creature
my instagram and everyone's like Alex. Did you get it done like our legs, like is
dog and like where did it come from and
the thing is, is he is my boyfriend's dog and.
A kind of my dog okay and his name is Henry and he's fucking, perfect
everyone shading on me, because in the past I mean
comments about people who make dog accounts and type pretend
to be their dog and make fucking captions being like Wolf Wolf. Although
A visit me Henry Iris Henrys. Unlike a focus of wool,
would this is me huh hello? This is me Henry today my mom took me to the dog pork super excited. I get to sniff some birds and really hoping she gives me a little extra tree today. I'm China stuck up and get broken batter us
my first feeling extra luscious. I think I may sexual I can't tell- or is it just pleasantly, Dag whip eyeballs, I'm not sure, but I don't have the Urge Tom and I see other dogs at the park. Try to stay grin. I hope
Burgess, like my own, Dick and sang stop. Writing packing captains
Well, I saying is, I think, a good really get caught
my boyfriend, is like fuck right,
Never making Henry actually used that I could, but I'm like I'm sorry, I'm not thinking given Instagram garden. I think they're good single Instagram,
that would single handed the rules for the entire career, but please not get the thought. Oh yeah, hearing
I miss that knock it off. Ok, now get the fuck up, knock it off. Ok, thank you. Stop fucking typing for years.
or you can post pictures of your dogs. Just don't pretend
you offer one came by
I do apologise. If I offended any dog owners, I now see it like. I love this creature. I wish I could marry
This creature, I'd like this creature, probably more than my boyfriend
and Henry is everything, and I so I do apologise alone,
accountability, I mean the other
week. We had me taking credibility, saying I apologize high wasted,
Keen ease you heard here: first are back in the summer. Girls are flying off the shelf. Now
I apologise for that and now I'm taking accountability, and this is why this
my formal apology to all dog owners
I'm sorry. It's
people saying it. Can you here, like the shrewdness of my voice, my items? Sorry so yeah, I'm sorry
but also the cherry on top is Henry is still
with me, while my boyfriend is in another country
in the dark JAMA who Wigley Bonn, I'm taking the dog, my
boyfriend. Let me keep him while he
went away so
Henry. I have been just chilling
in great time and bad tink has other everyone's gonna be pissed off? I remember hanging out with Jackie him all the other week in Malibu and she was like the DE aims that I get
four beastie reality about my dog and I was like oh Jackie. Let me tell you a little fucking story. I have seen my name wickedness
to the word bees
the owl men,
times. Ok, I'm gonna tell you a little story: Daddy Gang
when I was in London, I meant
months ago I
with MR accedes, you man, my boyfriend, and this was before
I had never posted Henriette. My story and I didn't want anyone to know who I was dating, and I
still don't, but I know some party no, but at the time no one knew K can I was it was
late night in London and I was getting fucking hammered with my boyfriend and we are drinking a lot tequila and I'm eating
Ships and salsa I'm living my best life and
I have a secret personal instagram that only my boyfriend and my like super close friends follow Kitty and in
drew begin drunken drunken state I kept
eating Henry little bits of chips. Ok, don't comfort me now being like your feeding him people, food fuck off,
they were organic, XO,
so it really doesn't matter okay, so I'm eating this chip and I leaned over and I'm record myself and I record Henry licking this. This chip off my tongue
and I go to pull
video of essentially making out like who gives a fuck like I'm pretty sure. What is that thing? Like dogs, mouth and tongues are cleaner than humans, I'm sure Rebecca you ve socked, a goner, Ria, infested, fucking, Dick you whore and then like licked, your lips after ok, Henry
is sanitizing, fucking clean and
Does it have been asked he d, like you so
start making out with whom I put my tongue out, so he can start like based peacefully licking my tongue and am fully cooperating, and I upload it to
I think, is my little personal,
Stu ground with, like twenty
people following it. If that
few seconds later I look down at my phone,
real, raised- that
had just uploaded Henry licking
I tongue, to my
Instagram account with two point: two million people in this moment. My first reaction was, I didn't, actually give a fuck. I didn't see anything wrong actually with him making out with me. The issue was, I didn't
anyone to know about Henry, because I knew that their love, you bitches, but I knew there were stalkers out there. That would be able to find my boyfriend if they found the dog k and
moment. I deleted this
the minute when uploading. The minute
And this was the moment that I knew I swear to fucking god- I don't know what the app is. I dont know what it is, but I swear there are people that have some
billowy the minute Play
fucking upload, something there like basics.
able to screen scream recorded because
Some one got the video
with literally upbraid parties. Thirty seconds like this, video was up for not even thirty seconds and somehow some asshole scream recorded. It ends
started to posted on twitter and was typing Al
Cooper, Reese duality making out with this poor dog and then
people started getting he's saying we're gonna report, you hash
free Henry B:
the reality. You sick, fuck, bauble, bubbled law so
that was the inaugural introduction to Henry meeting the world and
people really ran with their, and so this thing is
I stand by. I feel there is,
that thing wrong with
would I chose to let that dog due to my mouth, and I personally think that peat,
all that are so angered, so
triggered by seeing this dogs tongue lick my tongue. You think that,
hasty Alfie, then I don't know what happened in heater fucking childhood. Maybe your dad made. You do a couple, weird things and he was touching you so much in force in you every night to lick chips up his bucking now. But it's not be sorry. It's
these reality and I'm
going to continue to post video.
came out with me and
do you guys out and I'm going to post it
only funds, so the only way that you can get
this beast reality video and upload it to talk, share
is you have to fucking pay for it? Ok,
we're gonna pay to be pissed.
I'm gonna be fucking. Getting
richer so whose winning beds.
Can you guys tell I love him? I mean I'm really going. Fucking apex
makes me mad to emulate Henriette
can and I have a good time Henry and I are children and Henry in our good. What's up
if EU guys so here's the thing.
I'm gonna, be I'm gonna, kick it keep real with
have been spending sense. A
but before I release that first episode
Spotify announcement, I have been sitting in my pool house that I have now turned into my recording studio,
And I've been staring at the wall and
I have been speaking to you guys and I have been
wrapping, all of you guys, leaving you all up for hot girl summer.
and I loved every second Kay
but when I step when I took a step away from the microphone the other day, so
they forget as much as I am speaking. You guys sometimes any take my own advice
and I realized
I'm sitting here telling
you all go with your heart girl summer, but like
So should I felt like I was like we, my boyfriend's leaving for a month is so depressing I'm going
shadows and said. Ah, my fucking couch, unlike watch she be no, I need it
Out there living my fucking life this summer, I need to actually go.
Aid to be on the ground doing a hard hitting research I wanna come talk to you guys. Like
I really want to meet you guys and have you grow speaking to my fucking phone and upload it be like met Daddy gang at the bar? This was the vibe at the bar. That night, like I don't know
feel like this summer needs to be about going out and enjoying ourselves and as much as I
usually put pressure myself to be like alright. What am I going to talk about this week? What is a segment I feel like
when the podcast is at its best is when I'm being as genuine as I can be
genuinely like I
Not getting it into a creative rat wrought, but I know myself enough to know I would get in one if I just keep sitting and allay all summer and what would I
can talk about
my mom and dad or here and my boyfriend's away and so Alex will not play Nope, no big owls hit in the streets. So to give you guys a fuckin update on well, what does that mean? Where are we going Alex.
Daddy Gang, your badge
to New York,
city, New York here I fucking com, I'm so excited. I really can't put it into words. What I
feel about this upcoming trip. I
shed a tear, it's making me emotional, it's making me cry just knowing the relationship I had with New York before I left last time I was like empty the fuck out of here. I didn't even want to watch my apartment get packed up. I would like I'm getting out of playing like someone take care of it like. I can't look at the shit and now I'm like that. Fucking pussy, aesthetic
loser that cheated on their significant other and now,
crawling back and I'm begging for forgiveness that I laughed and I want you back baby New York, I love you
probably I hate to say it, probably
more than LOS Angeles, California, LA ballet
of the sunshine, but you guys know I'm a vampire, I'm not one for the sunshine like I like being inside, I like knowing the sun, shines out there, but I don't like
the fuckin son on my face. I want to look like I'm thirty years old, but I'm sixty. I dont want wrinkles out who want skin cancer me my
health and I in the door
dungeon. That is my life, so nothing I'm moving back there. Maybe I may, by a place there one day, but for now
I'm gonna be returning with my vagina
miss spread, open lips. Clipped took the side of my eyes wide open,
flappin in and am come back for you New York. So here is the game plan and not only the plan. The goal of this trip is to make you
he'll like you are on it with me,
well to enter into a
Who do you think? Is
going to be by my side while I fully indulge and black out?
no no blocking out responsible, lacking out a beggar
Why are in large?
is meeting me in New York to begin this bender. So let me take you guys are like how this is going down, where
the day when this episode is released, I am getting on a flight
from LOS Angeles and I am landing in New York
Lawrence like gets getting ahead of me. She's gonna wait for me. We're gonna, take a car to our
hotel, and we
we're going to get ready for a night in New York. City
and if you ll so fucking good, like sorry love you allay, but like new
work night light, there's nothing fucking like it and I'm so excited to go out. So I have a dinner planned with my friend like see and Elizabeth and learn, and the four of us are gonna go get dinner
then I said to all of them. Listen lady!
I know you may think things have changed. Alex's want a club anymore, not tonight, baby gold of Marquis. I swear to God. I literally text
Shout Alex promoter Alex Smith. I
literally tax due him and was like high he's like, oh my god. What what you like,
last text messages above our text. Messages are like me:
wrong being like which side of the line
should, I doubt, do like that was my promoter and New York
That's, I said I'm coming back baby Marquis
on Wednesday and he's like Jesus Christ. You are coming back from the dead
so I just want to go look why not real live, especially after like telling that story. Last week I was like I gotta go back so Wednesday night, I'm gonna be in the city and then Thursday.
Where in and I are getting picked up
and we are driving. Hopefully, by that time
our skinny ass, his
Hamptons, we're going to the hamptons. We got an air being be everyone. If
like is about to be in the hamptons this fucking we can for the fourth of July. By really
for an anti who I played soccer with my whole life she's going to be there. I was also that was one of the girls. If you follow me announce Graham, I was posting. Her
she was in Kin tuckers for the wedding. She fortunately
didn't fly spirit. Airlines shout out,
and so she's gonna? Be there and all her friends are gonna, be there then my
good old friend, who has been all
the pod cast pay.
To soar, bow and then
after that, I also have my friend, if you guys follow me on like Youtube. I always post this guy grant he's my good friend and
he's also going to be enough, Fuckin Hamptons, it is.
to be a fucking time, and this is my thought process, and let me know dear me, if you guys are like why, but I
the spirit of wanting you to feel like you're, literally a part of this trip with me, I
think it's best. If I almost make next week's episode like a log style k, sit stick with me here.
I'm almost thinking like I want
You almost document each part of this trip, whether its.
The airport, maybe maybe God another Spirit moment, I'm not fighting spirit. Thank God I may will be going
I'll tell, but who knows, maybe something will happen. Their record, it then get to New York go out with my friends at her key. Maybe something will also happen there and so in spurts. Just I'm gonna keep recording little segments throughout to keep you guys updated so that you know every detail of crazy shit. That's happening in a minute
Just you know, rerecord also
to bring my phone out with whom the hamptons, so, if something
happening- some hard hitting dramas going down at a house or at the bar
I'm going to be on the ground lie of reporting it and hopefully run into Daddy gang, and you can record stuff on my
bone and we're just gonna make this a big fucking party episode baby, so Daddy Gang get excited
after that, the party is,
stopping baby. Ok, because Daddy Game,
big lair and I are
heading over. To show
Cargo Y. All my Chicago daddy's get the fuck ready. Do you guys remember in the season finale the single bother ere, I said to you the
thing I know about Chicago is there's gotta, be some good
it is worth Dick over there and there are boats that.
all I knew, and now I have almost in
higher five days planned in Chicago with Lauren my friend Chris
did and all of Lawrence friends that she's made, and it ought to be a fucking time. What are we
It should be doing in Chicago up, so I'm so glad you asked
still don't know anything other than by
two holes in and what else is there bars o Midwest?
right right, a witch larn has confirmed
There is in fact something in the water but
send. The plan is, you guys know Lauren. She gets crafty with the baby shower re like the whole vibe and the party that she wants to host is call Hulu,
that we're gonna have a shindig Alex, and he said okay, so I gonna
I urge the nordic innovations and the Hague my apartment, and by that I,
everyone has to come into. The party with
Like so stupid boiling. Ok, and if you don't wear shipyards to the party, we get to kick people shinned.
Do you love LAR Macmillan are due Marmot born, so there will be a lot of cute little thought:
he's cute little son dresses in my little luggage, but on top of that placed right entreat my extensions arms. Can you put them anymore? I'm we'll be on top. My soccer should Kurtz
see you in Chicago Daddy's, if you're looking version digging heard party hit us up, oh and also remember last week when I casually
said one day I will be getting a p j. Well,
that may be getting checked off the list sooner than he expected, because.
This world tour is
ten, surely also going
over- sees its not a world tore baby. Unless we charter up the peat actually don't over, to dig a p j actually out of the country that would be like here is where he entire spot. By page I for one flight, not that cute, but we can dream, we can dream big, baby. Okay, the world Sore Kenny things possible, if you just believe, but we may be going to draw more. That's always
was knocking felt about the bouncer from last week. A Marquis also showed our hope. They see their. We may
we're going to
other fucking obese
these bees are obese. What has been now's not sound like a word, a bees are, we may be going too
he's a baby, and if I do decide to invest in a private jet,
Secondly, on buying Y know urges Vieira DE shout of any project. Company law is one to me
I definitely think this summer is gonna, be the time and place that it's worth it and we're also, potentially I'm going to Vegas, which is very fine and Denver to see another all. My friends so tat again this summer were really dipping. Our toes into different water
And I cannot wait to be seeing all of you there
we'll be letting you guys know what bars, I'm, ah, what both branches I'm mad and
If you wanna book you fly to visa I'll, give you the dates, sit there calm down and get ready, because you're going on a fuckin bender with Big AL or
yes, it's cool. Like you're, going on a bender with your dad, I'm cool, dad a death. I would hello. I would like to buy tickets to the call her daddy world tour. Let me just a document that how many tickets or garden from me and how many luggage parks or you pathetic, with an entire bag filled with alcohol kingdom or is your first stop going
the Color Father Cooper, always arab sheep promised us that the first, the first place that she would ever take us fulfilled trap lit bear so less that I'd like to
Wash Zoo, recall some private last time without money back and boy baby, we're still very weak unsuitable blew up to do we're going on well baby and noticed runs a visa will go away, go mother, but let's go too little place. I'd like to go with you over the mother, fucking work, booby trap. I do you like that
and AIDS, are on the other. We guys we're just were easy in nothing. Just
been Henry's literally said. He makes me me like bro what the fuck. I really just calm down. Nothing happened. You didn't see that it's like a black out. We pretend that never up and welcome the questions. The weak, Daddy gang. Let's just get right fucking,
two. It ok. I've been talking to the sky and we ve been hooking up as well. The other night I was super drunk and I made out with someone else as well as with my girlfriend and
also was cuddling with another guy girl. You got busy disease and
Guy that I'm talking to wasn't there. I had plans with him.
couple days later and he's been ignoring me. I have a few
that he knows because, honestly, the hall Snitch is what do I do now? Do I keep texting him? Do I just forget about it? Do I apologise because we ve only seen each other short time, so I actually don't owe him any loyalty. Yet ok to the huge come to mind number one. I have been in this situation before, where, like I got so in my head, and I hooked up with this- was not when we were debating this was like when we had like a
union, I hooked up with some shadiest. He me and we some shading I'd like reconnected like years after we were actually dating so dont, be like coming I'd like Youtube on him and
I remember. We were supposed to hang out the next day and he like wasn't texting in the morning, and I was like, oh my god. He knows. Oh, my god, they're conspiring omega hide
you're going to tweet about it, always God, oh my god and I was freaking out. I was in my head being like ok. Ok, like let me think like how I can plan to like not him.
Oh that yardstick was in my mouth last night, but can I like blame it on something like no? I didn't think it was hidden. I thought
so what that looks like your tea may I swear. He wasn't tax meals,
and I literally was gaining up the courage to text him and then I have checked myself and I was like Alex.
you could be so in your fucking head right now. He may not either
fucking know about the throw yourself under the buzz being. I I'm sorry sectors DEC
turns out. He had no idea, and he tells me ok,
Babe. Sorry like I was at a worked out like what are your plans today like want to go to a branch, and I'm like has
Yes, I was like gas and then I went statistic that night
a perfect little double on hydra, and it was a perfect moment
for me to be like wow dont ever play,
fucking hand, if you don't know for sure, if they have proof so mats number one number two. If he does now, I personally think
getting completely normal. Is the
let it go taxing hamlet,
you would normally tax them and, if he's not answering like you're saying he's been ignoring you, then you literally go ghost. If he's pissed about that, you do not send him attacks.
About it, because he's being a little bitch boy by not texting you about it. You owe him nothing. It's one thing if you guys had been exclusive- and you did this- you guys are just casually talking. So, if he's but
about this. He can be man enough to text. You ok and you can just like. I did nothing wrong, so
about your life, live your life and you dont need to apologize and you don't need to own up to anything. However, if you want to take the ral of you, you wanna text em, you can more so to say.
Hey, is something wrong like I'm confused like Y, all of a sudden, you dislike being ghosts and just address it had on, but dont say what you did. You did nothing wrong. That's your admitting to something. That's literally like you're allowed to be doing so. Let him on that he's in secure and he's upset about something that you two had never established was even a thing. Let him
but you don't need to hay Father, so I firmly believe and not asking man their body count rule they always exaggerate,
get weird and honestly. I don't really care. However, I've been dating my boyfriend for a hot minute now and at this point kind of feels we're like something
want to know about him so that I can know him better. If that makes sense, it could be zero or a thousand. I really don't care, but I don't know if it ever cool to ask if they can, if
other. Do you know your boyfriend? How shall I go about this? I know
every single woman, not my boyfriend, has had an eye.
so proud of the work that I did to get this information. This is an interesting
question. No, I would never ask a guy his body count, but you can absolutely get that number kind of by asking a complete different way.
So, if you guys remember when I went on what am I like it, I think it was my second or third day with Mr Sexy Zoo man. He had asked me a question and I strategically offered up a tiny bit of personal information like alluding to an ax. I think it was only about like when you were in New York, and I was like oh yeah,
lived with a boyfriend, so it's kind of offering up personal information, but that would be the last of the night and I use that to then transition
who, though I did it to creepy, like don't do it
it by what I ended up being like is was like what about you like. Who are your ex
I'm pretty low, that who are your ex girlfriend like? Can you put on Instagram? That's not the way to do it, but what I did is I slowly got the list and a picture and social security, her of every single girl he ever dated. I think this is the thing, and I would love to have an open conversation about this. You guys dm me. I think it kind of you almost kind by yourself in the ass. If you wait too long,
you ask your partner this question because, like as you start to date, it just gets like you're more in it and then there's like more weight on the question, whereas I feel, if you are in in the minute, you start dating someone like going out on dates with him or her my.
advice, would be bring it up so casually and knock it out right away, like only what about you like? What's your dating history like to have any girlfriends that, like you did in Chicago or
if any girlfriend you dated and allay or New York, where were you live and bring it up, because it's kind of like not creepy at all, in the begin
like you literally, have gone on one date so far and you're like asking about his eating history again, don't like so
What is your longest relationship like that's heavy, it's more of just like! Oh, like have you.
have you had a serious relationship here like more light and then slowly, sort to fucking dig in it,
make sense I dont know I know in the past have been like, don't ask their body count. I still stand by that. Don't how can do that, but you can ask in a
roundabout way about their dating history by first offering
yours a little bit? So it's like a fun open conversation, yeah, that's kind of my advice.
How do I shut my finger up how he boyfriends ass with acrylics?
It is a serious concern for me. Sweetie, you don't owe my first, but it advises one take them off, but if you're not going to hear Regos Susan, if you have the acrylics that are like
the square top, not any more honey
came not anymore. That square is a little too
get on the sides that to slip and through the asshole, it's more of legal.
pooper scooper. You could really like cut the corners of that asshole. A little rigid bitch sliding in I don't think so so you're going to need to go with more, not the then.
Like pointed Jagger- die girl. You know you see those girls words like out, like you could literally like Pierce humans buccaneer. With the top of that thing.
we're going more smooth, sallying Duff free way, little curvature up at the top. It starts to get narrow and that's a light. Little like oval, alma,
Ok, that's what your nails look like now, sweetheart also, this is the truth. I'm gonna go as far as to say: men closures, Ladys, when we have acrylics on. If I had a backup Tito's right, one fucking chip, if I fucking whipped cream cheese,
If my mouth shit gets literally now shit get so
look in your acrylics like deepened
item between your real narrowing, the acrylics. You
gonna, be walking around smelling like shit if you're putting your acrylics fuckin finger up your boyfriends ass, an that's a journey that I respect if you're willing to pay-
get, but just keep in mind that the brown shit you're fucking finger, may not all fully come out even after a good wash your hands until you get them removed. We are what, if, what? If you like, literally the first time you go to do
put on a fucking Glove Hindu. Like nurse role play he's a wire. You whispering blue gloves litter.
it fully naked, and then you strap
like hell girl. If you put a fucking blue gloves in your life
sit out baby. It's time for your recklessly exam. Can you leg Jesus fucking Christ, my girlfriend is a legend: how to get back
to the danish game, after a string of bad casual casual relationship, slosh hookups, I took a break from dating, which turned into an extended, bring an extended break because of quarantine. I'm feeling pretty
done with dating apps sense. Ninety nine percent of the guys on their either aren't even close to being my type or are pure trash. How the fuck do I get back into the dating game? Helped me Father Cooper, especially since I suffer from social anxiety. It's been hard. Ok, totally sympathise with you here. I think the thing about
specially using what's going on in the world to your advantage is number one. People may be that also. Maybe that didn't suffer from social anxiety before I do think there are as much as eyelid glamorize like we're going back out did the summer. I think there are a lot of people. Bat like felt fully actually at peace in themselves during quarantine, like I think, introvert we're like. Oh my god like I could have this be forever like this is like I'm getting comfortable. So I understand also now not only just the world opening back up like
Oh now go date to like oh fuck. My advice would be. I think that sometimes once you get like on a good women who I want to go on hinge because you're like in the mood to go on a date, I think that's more, the vibe, I think what you need to start doing is you need to be meeting people in person, because if you go out with your friends to a bar or you don't want to go out to a bar, if you don't want to meet this person in a setting where it's like drinking.
You're, just like at a coffee shop, maybe you're in the Fucking library or you're on a walk or you're working out like wherever you are. I think it's better to try to meet someone in person. There is way less pressure. There is no expectation of
I'm that you have to stay and say you meet someone at a bar and you start hitting it off. Then it's up to you. If you want to give the person your number and if you want to pursue a section second option, and if you don't, you go to the fuckin bathroom and you leave with your friends or you leave or if you are thereby yourself. I remember even I was talking to learn the other day about she had a date and she was like not nervous, but she was just like, oh like it just it did it never like ceases to amaze me like the little jitters you got before first day, and
you told me that they were going to like get drinks before dinner, and I was like wait Lauren like are you sure you want to do that and she was like wait. What do you mean like he had said, like we're going to go to this one bar first, and I was like wait. That's like a lot of time to be with someone like
Think about that you're like what is that drinks you're like ok, we literally covered like our capacity dating history. We ve talked about where we're from we talk, but what were made during its
cool like now. What do we talk about so I was like
maybe just say like I'm running late, let's just either pick dinner or drinks are just pick one because that's too much for
first day. Your literally tend to be like when I want to get out of here. So my advice to everyone, re entering the dating game is take pressure off yourself that you feel like you need to like conventionally fit into a box of like going on these dates. Of course, listen. I want you all to get a dinner paid for in like wind and dined, but not if it's giving you anxiety, then just like gold casually meet someone and don't put too much pressure on it and just organically meet someone in a place that you feel comfortable thought
it's gonna be best for you as a guy with a dad bud and a low self esteem. How do I approach women out of my leg? All listen! Listen to!
me Harold? You have none
to worry about. Honestly, I dont really give a fuck about a guy's body. Like yes, of course, if it's like well like you, really aren't taking care of yourself and it's like unhealthy, but I dont,
king expect a guide to public Rock hard Arabs like I care about that network baby. So no, you need to just remind yourself that girls
are way better than men. In terms of we actually
care way more about personality than looks me, and
advice to you would be ok, you have a dad bod that low self esteem only. You know you have low self esteem
you are going in approaching a woman out of your league, what are you have to lose
So she turns you down. You already have low self esteem body. We can't get any fuckin lower like you. Gotta just
We do it sorry that, like no, but it's true like think about it and like ok, you're gonna, take a chance and that what is that fuckin sports analogy you may Smith,
a hundred of the shop, the ninety nine shot to take, but that one baby, you all the sudden, fucking lock in a hot model whose, like I want to slap that dad buckled around, and I love that dad. But because I love your personality and your genuineness like the truth is, I think that
a lot of people are coming out of quarantine. Realising, like your body and your looks, don't matter as much and actually someone that's a good fucking hang is key, and so, if I were you, I would take that into consideration,
and what are your strength? What do you like about yourself and then go off of die and go into those settings at approaching a woman out of your league and, like you know what I'm gonna lead with this because she's private?
You dated the fuckin fire man, but the Wash board apps before and clearly
single that didn't work out, so maybe she's also looking for change up and you my dad bod baby, you can you can
the one she could be, though, as I Miley Cyrus shot out. Ok,
Eddie gang. That is it for this week's
so I hope you
and something. I hope you felt something it's about to be a girl
couple weeks. I hope that you guys have subscribed on Spotify, because if not it's just that,
trail of the summer, and I love you
and I hope that you guys keep riding in questions. Your questions have been fire lately, dm them to the call her daddy Instagram, I'm setting up a new website for you guys to writing questions, and that will be coming soon and a lot of other things also
soon July. Twenty first guys, the only place you can listen to call her daddy is going to be on Spotify. So please go follow. Follow, follow turn on your notification, see you get a little paying
Colored Addy bitches, like
said earlier: get fucking ready, get your little swimsuits I'll get your swimming on. If you can't swim, it's ok
I don't even go in the water, because I am fully spray.
and all schooner, and God forbid, that robes of daddy gave
we're goin on the world Tor and your fucking coming with me,
excited, get your fuckin coups
He's thou get your beer, get your vodka, get your tequila or get yours fuckin water, because, like
mother, always heads me in high school and I always wholly to go fuck yourself, but now listen
you: don't need to drink tea party, okay, so if you're not gonna get black out, you can still feel about vibe. I love you.
Oh it's about to be a great bucking summer.
you know the mother fucking. Really. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday.
Transcript generated on 2021-07-19.