« Coffee With Scott Adams

Episode 462 Scott Adams: The Mueller Witch Hunt is Evolving Into an “IF” Hunt

2019-03-22 | 🔗


  • Adam Schiff seems sad that our President isn’t a Russian puppet
  • Real bad week for CNN…their 2 best hoaxes are down
    • They lost the Russian Collusion Hoax
    • They’ve (almost) lost the “Fine People” Hoax
  • My “Slaughter Meter” reading on if the 2020 was held today
  • The IF Hunt that used to be the Mueller Witch Hunt

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The post Episode 462 Scott Adams: The Mueller Witch Hunt is Evolving Into an “IF” Hunt appeared first on Dilbert Blog.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
awful awful boom boom pow boom boom any john come on in here nicole it's good to see you or it's good to see your name go by virus joe always a pleasure andrew good to see you all right so i can't tell you that i have something exactly planned for this periscope i just wanted to share it so i'm only here to share the moment so that those of you watch my periscope's can you can come in and just just experience the moment just sort of enjoy it now the thing we don't know and i feel a little anxious about the fact that we don't know exactly what's in the mall report so maybe there's something bad in there but
indications that there's not anything bad in there goes like this number one cnn is really depressed and i'm going to do a thing where a a going to play whatever cnn clip is playing at the moment and i want to see how sad they sound alright this is on plan and i'm just gonna turn on cnn and i want to just hear the the senate has whoever's talking i don't i don't know the size sometimes passed on
what is it what they call the gang of eight that i that was wolf that he's no good i want a pundit so the on air personalities will be a little bit more like they always are there are professionals but the pundits you just gotta listen to the pundits so will wait for a way for a pundit come on here information that that robert muller may have collected so if it's just passed out to the so called gang of eight and you're a member of the gang of eight i am never the gang of eight but the head of the agency simply to come in until members of congress what happened now there may be a select subset of information that they is it just maine or does adam schiff not sound as happy as normally you would be on a friday afternoon is it just me
or is adam schiff a little bit sad that the president of the united states is not a russian spy he seemed so sad that the president the commander in chief is not a russian puppet feel so bad poor adam so the other indication we have that there will not be a prob for the president and say he's already said he wants to release it now it might not get fully released but he he says so and he probably wouldn't want to say that as clearly if he thought there was something bad in there so probably they've signaled to him there is no big deal next we have the information of that bill bar who just got the report the attorney general saying that he might release at least a summary of the findings as soon as this weekend
do you think there's any chance he would have said that if it was a problem i think if any of it looked sketchy he would have said very give me some time i'm not quite sure how this is going to go gotta show it to the president's lawyers they might take some executive privilege gotta write up my three give me some time that's what you would say if there was some bad news of their good news given that you know he's on the team trump is such a sensual yet you know being a republican type good news travels fast so the fact that he wants to do it quickly doesn't guarantee it's good news for the president but it's a strong indication so another none of these individual
our guarantees but they all are pointing in the same direction including the sadness that we here from the democrats now as my sort of it's just we did very recently two of the biggest hoax is let's say or fake news whatever you want to call them fake news or hooks to the biggest and most danger ones in the history of the republic were the weapons of mass destruction i mean look at many people died look with that cost and then the russia collusion who was a principal character behind both of those john mccain john mccain was a principal figure
behind the two most damaging hoaxes in all of history and i never i never made that connection i was mike sort of inches tweet that was it was like a slap in the face to me to me that makes it okay as anything you want about to me well you know the i'd say the seal is broken war hero sure he can keep that but he owns the two biggest disgraces and less i don't know thirty years whatever it's done so those are his now i sent scott always in spin mode have i said anything it isn't true yes i play say something that isn't true you should call me out so now the other thing i'm watching is watching cnn try to
two turn this into well we told you all along there was something here even though there isn't so they've got several lines of attack that there's sort of a be testing live one of those lines of attack is that sure you showed us mueller's report but you didn't show me the raw evidence that mueller looked at and adam schiff just before i came out and was trying to explain why in this case they should see the raw evidence when normally that would not be the case and have said well it could be that there's something that didn't rise to the level of being illegal but the problems the president still did it and it's bad to which i say the president is still a citizen of the united it's right you got to draw a line somewhere yes the president is a public figure and
nobody is above the law and nobody would claim that should be the case but is it also the case that he's not below the law the president doesn't get treated worse than other people under the law that's not acceptable and would you want to be the subject of a criminal investigation in you know technically this the criminal investigation would you want to be the subject of an investigation the conclusion is that you've done nothing wrong and then your critics get to see all all the evidence because you know if unskilled people dig through the evidence they're going to imagine they found all kinds of crimes the molar being experts said no that's not a crime that's not a crime that's out of context so if you wouldn't want that to happen to you and i sure what
when it happened to me you should not want that to happen to anybody you should want to happen to the president or anybody else now the other thing that cnn is just try it out is the old well what about those was it sixteen people who got indicted for lying to investigators and sandra lying to congress so they keep trying to say some version of this well you can say them the thing was a failure because they went out to hunt an elephant and they shot sixteen squirrels you you can't tell me that an elephant hunt is unsuccessful when i've shot sixteen squirrels do you see the number of squirrels i shot don't tell me this wasn't on point yes yes we marketed as a an elephant hunt we brought an elephant gun we
plan to shoot an elephant we really really hoped we were going to get an elephant but don't tell me we're not successful cuz look at the number of squirrels we shot instead that my friends is success so the try that out then they're also trying out the if we don't have the raw evidence let you know how it how could we really know what happened um oh they're also trying out the the trump did not personally go in for an interview so their best attack so far is that the president did not agree to a perjury trap he didn't agree to a perjury trap that's the worst thing they have on him an and
given that sixteen squirrels got killed in the elephant hunt because they all fell into a perjury trap how many of them were smart well just the elephant the squirrels all fell in the elephant trap if you know what i mean but the elephant no the elephant did not go into the trap the elephant said you can't make maine and then he didn't go now i have to give some kudos again this is premature but it's starting to look like this would be the case some kudos to the president's legal team now i don't know if they did things wrong but by keeping him from preventing him from i'm from going in for an interview was certainly right and they did get away with yeah they very patient they just kept checking
yeah chipping away they were running out the clock i think you have to admit that the president's legal team was running out the clock because they knew the muller couldn't just do mauler things forever you know everything's got a hand so the longer they resisted the more likely muller was going to say i can't wait forever and i can't make you do it so i think they just ran out the clock on miller which you would have to say it was a good lawyer it was exactly the right strategy which apparently and again you know we're looking at it from the outside so we might be missing some of the important context here but it looks like it looks like the president legal counsel brought it home for him but will say all right yeah
there was no collusion the other thing i expect to hear is when there's no finding of collusion people are going to say i told you there would be no finding of collusion because that's not even a crime people will continue to say yes but although there was no crime and there was no collusion the president obstructed with the injustice so in other words the treating this treating the situation as if there had been russian collusion was really based on an injustice the injustice being the steele dossier so what the president did was if anything he obstructed injustice now we know that because miller has already ruled we think again getting ahead of myself
but assuming there's no collision he would have ruled in that case that but there's no crime so there was no justice to be had so if you obstruct injustice is that a crime i suppose it would be yeah the fisa warrants i don't know if those would be released that's a good question yeah they're going to point to the new york southern district but i think we would have seen indictments right if they were if anything was going to be an indictment when wouldn't we see them when we if
if any of that really mattered i heard wasn't creeper are talking about how i'm if all they have is the co and stuff might be a fine yeah if everything that they think they know about the current payments to stormy daniels are true if all of the facts are true there might be a fine business as usual so i could not even watch fox news with this news came out as you know fox news is just going to be happy and you know i told you so and max you know you know it's gonna be a little predictable but watching cnn deal with their cognitive dissonance is amazing is this week alone they lost russian collusion they probably came pretty close to losing the fine people false memory
and things are going pretty well for the president so i would like to introduce to you a new new prediction mechanism that i'm going to be using for twenty slash twenty all right i call it the slaughtered meter please meter so it's not an opinion poll yes my prediction of what the election would look like if we if all the variables we see now continue in a straight line so in other words if we if we froze all the variables today and just you know fast forward two years you'd have a super
on the con me because remember we're freezing all the variables super strong economy north korea would be you know bang better than they have been before isis is is being the the democrats don't have anybody with any charisma whatsoever it looks like the best plan on the democrat side is to nominate to try to get rid of trump who they would consider an old white male their strategy is to nominate an even older whiter mail so
they have the worst strategy i've ever seen and they're going to completely savage each other until whoever is left will be walking husk of a person which trump will finish off much he will finish off i was going to say something terrible but i'm not going to but it would be very funny only to me mostly so here's my current prediction which will be updated periodically between now and two thousand and twenty the slaughter meter is pinned we are at maximum slaughter if
variables changed in other words if the russian collusion turns out to be the nothing we think the economy is good the yeah you you name it you just couldn't right down the line if all of that sticks the worst thing that they're going to say about the president is that the frickin john mccain vote and hit him from maybe doing something good with healthcare so right now
he is incomplete slaughter territory now the odds of things staying the same and all of the variables stay the same between now and two thousand and twenty and the election is very low so don't make too much of the slaughter meter right the slaughter meter is unrealistic by design is just telling you that if nothing changed it would be a slaughter um the funniest thing is watching the polls they say well here's a very important point by the way you're probably saying to yourself but how does that track with the fact that every single democrat seems to be trump in a in a one on one according to the polls like how could that be possible at the same time he's heading toward a slaughter and here's how it's possible
if you're saying would x whatever democrat and is lined up against drunk you're not really comparing those two people it feels like you are to say say consider by then with trump you know who do you like who vote for one of them it feels like you're comparing those two people but you're not because in those situations well no there is not yet a real democrat who's been nominated so their idea of the democrat even if you put a specific name even if you say what if it's biting what if it's burning you want if it's camilla even if you put a specific name in there there's still thinking well how do i like my ideal democrat vs this this bastard trump
as long as they're thinking about their ideal democrat that ideal democrat is awesome the person who's potentially a candidate against trump has no flaws there great but what happens when it turns into a real person by the time it's a real person you're going to have to compare the real person not your magical notion of what a great candidate would be but a real beating up flawed person so adding pull you see today is just sort of a wishful thinking poll about a perfect candidate versus the stand trump guy
you know so i wouldn't worry about the polls too much today now here's my prediction about this whole russia collusion thing i assume that the results will come out and if things go the way it looks so go there will be not much of any kind of a finding there would be too damaging to the president and i predict that the nash all polls about whether or not trump colluded with russia will not change more than ten basis points so right now probably i'm just guessing that the country's probably split about evenly you know the republicans say you didn't glue the right the the democrats say definitely colluded once we have muller's report if this were a rational world ninety
percent of the world on you know both sides would agree with whatever muller came up with because i'd say well he looked into it i me at every tool of investigation he looked into it and if you didn't find anything the region is the standard that we should we be worried about i change my mind i used to be worried but now the new data has come in i change my mind based on logic and fair listen new data you're not going to say anything like that you're going to see the democrats just as convinced that the collusion happened give give or take five to ten basis points so it might go from fifty to forty but you're not going to see it go down to ten percent which it it would if we were a rational species so this will be another one of those cases where you can you can protect and by the way i always tell you that if your filter on the world critics well that is a good
filter my filters as people are immune to data and facts so that the vast majority of them will not change their minds even when the data changes alright i am going oh schumer schumer's speaking oh we gotta see droopy dog let's see give me a second the integrity of our democracy itself whether foreign powers corruptly interfere in our elections and whether unlawful means were used i don't want to play too much for copyright reasons but in my title for this periscope i said that the witch hunt has evolved to and if hunt an schumer was demonstrating that so here's how the if hunt goes there's no evidence that the president anything bad so they'll say if there's evidence that we don't have
and if it shows that the president had an affair with putin and if as a result of that affair putin is blackmailing the president there were a lot of trouble and if the president she currently has a deal with russia and if we don't get to see all the data in the in the reports the mall report and if something isn't complete and if the president had actually gone in and talked a mile or in person instead of giving written lessons it is all those things happened that's a problem that's a problem if all of those things that
and so you listen to all this and you come away thinking well that's a lot of accusations about the present that is a lot of accusations uh so so you end up you end up with after after the if hunt you end up walking away having this bad feeling about the president because so many bad things were just sort of mentioned well if chuck schumer is having an affair with his dog and if the dog is not a willing participant and if the dog is tiny let's say a chihuahua an if that tiny chihuahua is injured with the sexy is having with chuck schumer and if we find out about it
chuck schumer's in a lot of trouble would you say did i say anything here that is not the truth if he's having sex with his dog if the dog is a chihuahua if muller is injuring him also he's a bad guy i'm not saying any buddies suggests he's done any of those things i'm not suggesting it i'm just saying that if he has and if there was a report on it and if somebody produced a video of it an if there are witnesses how bad would that be i mean that would be bad we certainly hope nothing like that happens and there's no evidence of this let me be very clear there is no evidence whatsoever that i'm aware of but that doesn't mean somebody else isn't where 'cause if someone else is aware of it and if he had sex with his dog and if it was a chihuahua and if he heard it pretty bad
really bad that's bad alright i just had to come on here and enjoy the moment with you keep watching the news have a fun time i'll talk to you later
Transcript generated on 2019-11-10.