My new book LOSERTHINK, available now on Amazon https://tinyurl.com/rqmjc2a
- The Pope Handshake
- President Trump’s anti-Benghazi handling of Iraq protests
- Lindsey Graham’s effective threat to Iran’s oil refineries
- Bloomberg’s open office plan for the White House
- Impeachment pizza
- Kim Jong-un CLEARLY stated what he needs for a deal…
- …and we probably haven’t offered it, yet
- A Gen IV plant plus a giant carbon-scrubbing plant…
- …charging other countries for the earth-saving function
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The post Episode 774 Scott Adams: Learn to Shake Hands Like a Pope, The Anti-Benghazi, Bots Return, North Korea appeared first on Scott Adams' Blog.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Bump bump, bump, bump, bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump anthem.
Come in here. My luck. I have much to teach you today.
Some days you come here for the entertainment Sundays,
I'm here for the learning.
It's gonna be a learning day today
they teach you how to shake hands like a pope.
Bill. Congratulations on baby body, pleasure and all of you bless you dj. Doktor funds use good to see you again best name underwear, and once we have two thousand people here, I'll show you how to shake hands like a pope, but before that
I know why the railways you here has for the simultaneous up, and all you need is a copper bugger glass, the tanker jealousies, Diana Kantian, juggler flask, a vessel of any kind. Shall it when you favour liquid, like coffee
enjoyed monopoly on parallel pleasure, the dopamine day. The thing that makes everything better the simultaneous up go miraculous divine best. I've ever had a right. Now. I think you ve all seen the viral tweet of the Pope shaking hands.
But you don't know the moves. So I'm here to teach you the Pope handshake you can follow along. The goes like this first stand up. Take few brass loosen up his shoulders. You don't want to go into a handshake situation. All tents and stiff shaken up shaken up now, when the person you going to shake hands with is less say over. There
The pope technique is to use this arm as bait, so watch hell you're on justice, all of it. So this arm will just be natural citizens just natural here, but this one this was can be just
Laura flown out there like bait and here's that you want to start looking this way and they turn this way, and this letter dangle little bit. Somebody's gonna grab it. You know they will and when they grab it. I guess you you hesitate for a moment. Like you, don't know, what's going on,
then turn that look or in the eyes and star slab now the face is also part of the handshake
so you want to get the angry face and then the release is very important and then the walkway, so you got to get to walk away, but there's a part. Two part two is the apology. If you've been doing handshake
with no apology afterwards, but you're probably doing wrong. So then the apology comes later. Like all sorry didn't mean to slap you up so was run through it again. Loosen up. One arm is bait letter dangle when a dangle somebody's gonna grab there you got it, you got it. You gotta hit twist turn look at em, angry flap turn release walkway got it.
I don't think you're so hard. I think most of you can commence that end scene,
Well, let's talk about all the news. The news we actually get news news. All over two pages need lists. All the news is getting there's not much happening livestock, whether anyway, President Trump has labelled his.
His defence of our embassy in Iraq, as quote the Anti Benghazi, that's right, he actually tweeted
The empty Benghazi.
Does this man no his audience or what
because the entire audience was saying, don't Benghazi, us late literally
yeah, a hundred million people. The moment they heard there was some trouble at the
embassy in Iraq, a hundred
People think he has won at exactly the same thought: do not been gaseous whatever you do, don't bagasse us and so the prince
of course, being very tuned into the will of the people as actually branded it. He branded a move.
Who brands or move I've ever seen that before you,
bread is move as the ant I've been Gussie. I care like that any better than I do now. It's hard hard for me to know exactly what a random hopes together this. Apparently there was some big umbrella,
a group, they told the protesters to stand down there still one already back group that there- and I ask myself
How much do I know about what's going on over there, and the answer is not a lot, because I'm trying to understand how some other countries militia can have a major protest in your country. So if your Iraq, how does the Iraq E government and military allow another country or ran to hold a protest of their country while attacking them to see that they protect? Does Iraq have any power? Now, of course, I've known that IRAN has
Huge influence over Iraq. But I didn't know there that much. So I think that's a little surprisingly, it looks like the United States is gonna dig in and if they want to fight thicken, they can have. It appears that river. We made it clear that there is a line and here's the line and if everybody gets hurt, it's gonna be,
really bad anorak? It looks like the protesters. Sort of understand that
somehow we ve had these major protest with zero injuries anywhere
It's kind of hard to have a protest that big were no injuries and all I mean neighbours,
it's not true. Maybe there were injuries
I gotta think those rubber bullets and heard a little that so I guess the protesters gunshot with rubber bullets.
Lindsey Graham did one of the best moves
Was a persuasion lose political moves. One of the best moves about this iraqi. You think so, Linsey Graham tweets and I'm paraphrasing,
then ran better watch out because they are an economy that depends on oil refining. Now that is what you call us
read you if you say a threat like don't,
when he seemed to us. We ve got a big military will do something back to you. If you punches will punch you traces heard now, that's good! You know you need to have a credible threat, but, as is so on specific, so nuns
the civic just to say, will attack you twice as hard.
It. Doesnt really register the same way. A specific threat does
So one Lindsey Graham says Doran creation,
be careful what you do if your entire economy depends on your oil refineries, that's really specific and is really good, because the other thing it does is, it says, we're
can attack your people, because we now have a beef with your people will have a beef with you.
Even your military, really as they stand there, but if but if around gives causing trouble and american lives are lost.
In particular, they get a loser refineries and now ask yourself if their entire economy depends on the refineries, and I don't mean that every part of the economy, but it's such a big part, could take down the economy if it were now. I dont know how we lose this. Do you unless were worried that they would respond aggressively
on the mainland and I suppose that they would have those plans, but if you ever noticed that or ran somebody tweeted this this morning, is it true? So, first of all, let's just see if this is true,
fact check me on this. Is it true that IRAN has never sponsored a terror attacks in the United States, because if that is true, I think that's important to know, because I will tell you their intentions. Obviously they have. The capability around could very easily sponsor an attack in the United States, so if they haven't.
It means I really don't want to and why. Why is it? Why would a ran be so your bellicose and so aggressive in the least but dear oh aggressiveness here, while I would think that their long term ambition is just to get the United States out of the Middle EAST and attacking the homeland would just make a state,
in it's taking bug and cause pain in the Middle EAST for as many decades as it takes.
If they can get us out of there
and then they would have more influence, so
probably the last thing that ran wants is a hot war with the United States. I would think that would be,
literally. The last thing they want
I never thought of this middle ground where we take out their refineries had never really around for some reason that had never occurred to me, because I assume that taking into account
play would be a bigger deal, but now that you understand there might be just a, I don't know a handful of refineries. How many are there, but we could take the mountain and afternoon
So much a signal to into ran directly there we could take out their economy and therefore I think the regime
Because if the economy fell, thou hard- I don't know the regime would stay, but he's basically saying we could take you out in the afternoon and nobody will even die. So that's really really good threat. Lindsey grim. So congratulations on that. Did you see the video of the the iraqi protesters trying to break down the door? They ve got his battering ram, that's not the biggest battering ram and in the world
but I guess it looks like the diameters only tanagers or something and any see all these young men trying his heart is again to break down the store. It looks like it was like a glass door. It must be some batteries
where's glass, but there really was better and ran. There's like twenty of them were, and the likes of hedge,
MIKE Servage tweeted that video and said it was the most
boy battering ram, sick and and until until I saw that comment about saw they were pulling into their battering ram. The couldn't breaks with glass
for about two minutes after supper, but it does seem to me that there's something about this protest, this lacking passion they got allowed people to show up, but there's something cattle lacking here: the fact that nobody got hurt and they couldn't even get their battering rams through a glass door. It just feels like it's not the best protest here, they're not pulling their best people on this one. I think, as I was pretty funny and other news
Bloomberg tweeted out the worst tweet of twenty nineteen. I think for a presidential candidate, and this is what he said. So my blue blue progress as president alternately, EAST room into an open office plan were also
or else it with our team are usually oval office for some official functions, never for tweeting, but the rest of time I'll be aware, a leader should be with the team and then he shows
Nature of must have done. His mayoral office was just a sea of cubicles and he's just as little tiny dot in the middle of a sea of just messy cubicles, and I thought to myself. Ok that MIKE Bloomberg is a real,
a good way to become a mayor that is mayor, level, tweeting and mayor level game. Do you know what
do you know what I really don't want in my president of the United States? I dont want him in a cubicles met. May I say that again only louder, I dont want the person.
Representing my country, the President of the United States, the command
in chief of the most impressive military force.
Assembled in the universe. As far as we know
I don't really want them in a cubic all. Do you feel me now? I know I'm taking this harder than other people, because I am the guy who invented the Dilber Comic. I am probably more famous for being associated with the who
hours of cubicles than anyone. Now he called it an open off his. I think it so low cubicle walls and the
the only thing worse than cubicles according to every study is the open office?
do you know who loves the open office, the guy who gets the tweet about say. Look I wasn't awesome. I am. I haven't opened office yea, I'm just like you said the entire benefit of an open office. As you can tell people you did it, that's all it is. It doesnt have
any impact on any good it back on efficiency and productivity,
We do work. It's all bad is completely bad
offices are way better in every possible way, but you get to brag about it now again as a mayor or as a ceo of lesser fortune, five hundred company, if you said oh, I'm just gonna, be the cubicle guile work with a team. I can see that work
You want your mayor to be done in the trenches. Don't you that's! What a mayor is? Mayors really close to the people that is close to the people as you.
You get so a mayor working with the people and the potholes. Only these strategies and stuff, like that makes makes perfect sense seo, where maybe, depending on the culture might wanna make. It was like an open off
spike, everybody feel equal, no big benefit, but ok pursues you. Take that to the office of the presidency.
Somebody. Somebody said this in the comments, just as I was thinking it calories
he says out of touch. That's all it feels like. Doesn't it it just feels, like my Bloomberg,
doesn't have the game anymore because happen
Do you not know that this was a pretty good play for a mayor and the worst play ever for present? He didn't make that leap on his own, because that sort of broadcasting to me that he's lost a step. I can't see making the same,
mistake when he was forty. Five doesn't seem like an old guys mistake and then he puts it with the worst photograph of this bill busy.
Messy, looking environment. That would inspire nobody, and then he rhapsode and boring tweet him. He made every mistake you can make and want to eat. He showed that they don't have a good production stuff. Obviously doesn't
but advisers who can actually change his mind? Does there's no way his advisers said. That was a good idea. Well, they may have said it was a good,
but do you think there was any adviser of Might Bloomberg who said yeah like tell him tell him you're, not gonna, use the office,
Tell him you're gonna be an open offers plan. I think that could be
kid the White House. Do they,
it was even one adviser who obviously told my Bloomberg. That was a good idea. I doubt it because he Z list
for good advisers, he's gala money properly, has really been advisers, so he's not taking advice is see.
And he went out now, but it would look like it from this, and I've never seen a more clear message that is now ready to be present. It's actually kind of shocking really is shocking. Heavy knows the votes or back the trumpet, but now I don't know who runs the the pro Trump bar
the twitter users, but they're they're, so easy to spot that it makes me wonder why that last now I don't want to get him kicked off of twitter because there are there bots on both sides, and I guess it's just part of the process now, but they have such a look.
Then I was laughing, I see them, so it's usually a a young mother or somebody who is a
Oh youngish, woman and a sort of a generic picture where you said yourself, I'm not sure, there's a real woman there, but it's a picture of all and then you look at the profile and it's got all these these little identifiers that then no real person put sir,
That is clearly a bunch of flags and symbols and mega all kinds of stuff.
But I have to say they perform a service.
Number them follow me in and treated me, and they do a really good job of surfacing, the good pro trumpet content. So if you missed it, the butter actually really off so good work, but yeah you to the extent that EU funding good content that people care about any tweeting it not bad about. So I don't mind that all but the boxer back and that they had disappeared for a while. Also the trolls back out, noticing today trying to figure out what the the twenty twenty approach would be on this impeachment stuff. It looks likely it looks like the Democrats, the antennae,
numbers have chosen, not surprisingly the least effective thing. They could do the least effective thing that the entire jumpers could do is say. Ah your impeached, because one of the tribe supporters say no, it wasn't. It is a sort of they perfected. Two movies
one scream, the the entire trappers can claim was lots of evidence that the president was impeached. They are about to impeach the programme. People can claim with
cool credibility now really because animals and over to to ear the Senate and if everyone to the Supreme Court to decide the Supreme Court.
Probably say now: nothing really happened. I was credited with this thought, but actually borrowed from somebody sought on Twitter.
And was it was a tough measures, but the analogy was is- and this is one of those cases where analogies
funny if you plan to order a pizza, but you don't actually put in the order,
Can you say you ve ordered a pizza,
and so it is with the impeachment
sure you voted on it. But if you dont transmitted.
Can it be said, the? U impeached,
Now I love the fact that some legal experts- and I think our work with them is one of us is saying that the Senate, because the Senate has full authority to hold a trial anyway, they want could actually they could actually vote to hold the impeachment null and void, and I don't think anything would be funny or that what would be funnier, then the Senate instead of voting yes or no one impeachment,
which would still allow that the appeal happened. You just did not get confirmed in the Senate, but it would be way funnier if the Senate just said, I want you to make the house now slowed null and void of great. Without me, it would be just the greatest humorous thing to do, because then the trumps supporters could say was complete
fair argument that there was no impeachment because it was found
avoid. I absolutely love that idea just for the provocation of it. I tweeted ATLAS outward Kim Jonah. Here's a little trick. I learned in hypnosis class. I gotta go,
she's, something then at least some of you may be a small percentage, but some of you are going to find this will totally changed your life
It's just a little bit of advice that once you start looking for it in the in the world, you gonna start noticing something he had noticed before once you notice it it'll be like This'Ll superpower, and I know that because I gained the superpower when I learned
Hypnosis noticed it goes like this people tell you what they want, even if they're not telling you what they want. So that's the Dep people will tell you in fairly direct language what they want even
they don't know they're doing it, so people will choose words. The very clearly transmit what they want without ever intentionally doing it, and if you start looking for it, it's just so obvious that you'll be amazed
didn't see it before now. The context I learned it said
somebody's, giving me an example in the carbon somebody user example, but your example.
So if so, this is the actual example that my hypnosis instructor gave the people since people or sexual creatures and were never that far from our mating instinct, our language picks up are mating preferences in just casual language. So, if you're talking to say you,
I will say a coworker date, so you with somebody who's, whatever gender, you prefer and you're out, I'm just a coworker lunch, but you thinkin. I wonder if this coworker as some sexual thoughts about me now, if it's a woman, she doesn't have to worry about it, causes a man probably does, but if your man,
And you're trying to figure out if the other person, as a crush on you watch for the language,
This literally happened to me once when I had not long after I learned this trick. I learned that one of the one of the town
as I say, your guy and you go to lunch and you bring a woman and you just friends, but maybe maybe one of you thinks it could turn into more. If the woman says I'm so hungry, I'm ravished urine because ravished is the wrong word, they meant to say I've famished. This actually happened to me that that that exact example was given by my happiness.
Professor who said if you're on a day, and your days has man, I have an email day on ravished your day wants the ravished or ravenous right, I'm either famished or I'm ravenously hungry, but to say I'm ravished is basically directly tell you. That's where my mind is now the first time you hear it you're going to say to yourself.
It's funny is confirmation by us. I believe I'm hearing it, because this is what I wanted to hear. That's the first time you hear it then test it
You go home without person. Next thing, you know what your boyfriend girlfriend watch. It happened a gap in the example in the comments you're talking to your potential partner and the potential partners. As are, I can't make it today, I'm all tied up: do they mean I'm busy while it could mean innocently yeah, I'm all tied up with some other thing but
look for how often people will signal their sexual preference just in their ordinary language. Once you start saying that you can see it and I've been doing it for enough decades. Looking for it
and then testing later when out whenever you could actually find out for sure whether you're my father says, was right or not. It's really good is really predictive. Now it doesn't apply to just people's mating instinct.
People, people also reveal what they want. It just regular conversations.
Yes, I'm say more examples in the in the comments:
here's what Kim Genuine said and how he told us what he wanted. Ok,
so listen to what he says and then I'm gonna put the hypnotist filter on it. To tell you what he wants,
Here's what came said so they had some some big deal. Worry threatens shocking action. You know if you ve, seen eyes dazed and do what he wanted. Now is very specific. What the shocking actionism! That's, not the interesting part. Here's interesting part Kim during the party meeting declared that the north will never give up its security for economic benefits.
Face of what he described as increasing. U S, history, hostility and nuclear threats, so he said we never give up his security for economic benefits, Kim told you
exactly what he wants. He he wants security. So here's wasn't any is also described the exact problem the problem is Kim is asking for
military security and apparently we have offered him money. Economic security doesn't keep him in power, he say as directly as you can possibly say it. I dont even care about the money because I'm not starve and he sang it so directly. He wants security guarantees now have we offer.
Him security guarantees. I doubt it don't, wouldn't you doubt it? I doubt we ve offered anything like that. But could we
Offer him something that was at least moving that general direction. There would be something short of a guarantee because guarantees are mostly
his words, but is there a way we can say you don't Kim even out communicated directly what you need and directly
you need some guarantees that we're not going to argue here's what we could do weakened
declare the under the war. Would that not look like a martian right direction? We could say: can we we commit that we're gonna unify but,
no date for it, and we expressly say that we're not gonna overthrown, North Korea, because we don't care
Where were you don't care about North Korea? We could say Kim Jong NAM.
There's nothing. We want less than war with you and we're going to actually re purpose. Some of our forces.
South. Korea's was more of a general Asian your base, and it's not gonna, be about North Korea.
We'd really love it. If you turn your guns away, younger artillery, we'd love, it is some international group was saying,
Let's say we said you know, I know North Korea, you don't want to United States messing around and even inspecting your stuff. Does you think spies, etc? But would you trust, India? Well what if India agreed to beam?
my group because I have now they have a nuclear capabilities as well, so maybe they have people were trained to go over to North Korean, so yeah, you still have nukes, but they're not pointed at the United States anymore. So just doesn't matter to us too much anyway. So that's that's my hypnotists. Take on North Korea is a king has told us exactly what it wants, and I believe that we have not offered anything even in that domain release. We haven't heard of it. So until you hear that the United States has at least talking
out what would keep North Korea safe? At the same time, we get what we want. There's nothing happening outside, wouldn't even qualify as negotiation. If what we're out with what were offering his economic and what they're asking for his military
protection security. There's no real negotiation, even happening, which sounds like what's going on.
I tweeted provocatively and many people felons my trap yesterday that I suggested this idea now. This is, moreover, thought experiment, but I would add some me too. The idea was us find a remote spot in America, some places away from civilization and build a generation for nuclear plant, but have lots of space allocated rounded for future carbons, scrubbing technology and the carbon scrubbers or number start ups. Who do this as I wrote about,
my book loser think we should all have by now. So you see that allow them all to test their things and here's the thing once you get the generation for plant up and running, maybe takes five years you may have to generate and before you ve got a plant, the submarine so say is up now I've been informed by people are smarter than me. There is no point in having an isolated nuclear plant because for it to operate right asked me connected to the to the grid, because, as producing power, all the time in their power needs to go somewhere. So you could connected to the grid even being far away from civilization. So there's just one more power line, and so let me get to the good part of their the idea, because I didn't put them the tweet and people jumped on a runaway
so you and then I said we should charge other countries, the big industrial countries for some day being able to remove carbon directly from the air with our generation for nuclear plant, providing all the free issue, electricity to all these carbon scrubbers,
and was I will turn a business, will make a business out of it.
And there's no limit to how big these scrubbing fields can be because yeah we'll just scale them up as as big as we need and we'll charge the rest of the the world for our services of cleaning the planet and here's the fun part. The part that everybody screamed it out and I said that will do it in return.
Rejoining the Paris accords, but here's the departed and put in the tweet not joining the Paris accords the way they are, but rather redefining them, so we would say for example, here's our deal will build a giant carbon scrubbing complex to save the world
You will kick in Southern Europe, you're paying for it and in return will rejoined the Paris accords, but it's our only contribution so that they
so we would agree. This is all just thought experiment, so the agreement,
They will rejoined the Paris accords, but will be a special partner, which is only doing one thing. Just one thing were building this giant carbons
grubbing nuclear powered facility that could grow to any size can scale up rather quickly. Other countries can bring in their start ups with with carbon stuff bring in it. Now
Now you may be saved yourself. Desolate, impractical idea, Scott, for anyone of ten reasons bears the fund bar. That's wiser, thought experiment. The thought experiment is this: if we take a profit,
mission to the rest of the industrial world, and it looks like this: hey you guys, is greatly you're trying to reduce carbon footprint and all that, but there's nothing you're doing that will make a difference. What we're doing my take five years to get it up and running might take ten, but but we're doing something massive we're doing
something on the scale of a man hadn't project for climate, we're gonna, do it in one location, but you need to fund it because if you dont fund it we're not gonna do it will also mark could be part of the Paris accords. You funded will build it and then it will join the Paris accords and we will have done here's the fun part. We will have done more than all of you put together and here's the grape are suppose the United States says we don't really even think there's a problem because we ve got a president who is called climate change.
Hoax? So we don't want to spend our money on it, but we would certainly spend other people's money and we certainly want to spend China's money. India's money gazelle polluting, like crazy, so.
Somebody says and Fukushima. So if anybody
new here generation for is the technology that doesn't melt there, because it can't and it also its existing nuclear waste
its fuel, so reduces nuclear waste in the world.
Eliminating the chance of a meltdown because of the design. Next that impossible. The old Fukushima take designs were the slightly more dangerous kind, not slightly far more dangerous because they put their backup generators below sea level in a certain obvious zone. So you can't really compare anything to fear cushion function. Now I ve identified. Whenever you talk about climate change, there are certain personalities that emerge anytime. I tweet editors, the there's. The Co2 is plant food guy. I've ever seen us any Eddied tweet thread on climate change. There is always the guys, always a guy, it's never woman,
every scientist. I am sure every scientist knows that if you remove too much co2, the plant would die pretty sure. We would unplug the machines before the abbot, so that guy always makes me laugh because he thinks that nobody's heard that before the Co2 is black food since the worst steak,
the plant would die. I'm pretty sure we would unplug the machines before the abbot so
that guy always makes me laugh because he thinks that nobody's heard that before ah Co2 is black food says the worst take the other worse take as that is the sun.
That the scientists forgot to include all the elements of the sun less the worst take. So you can certainly be a sceptic on climate change and there's plenty of room for that. I thank even though the consensus is on one side
There is always room for scepticism, but don't do the bad ones. The bad ones are that the scientists forgot the sun. When they were studying warming, maybe
That was something so that would be the least likely face believes that's all we have to talk about today. Regular bank, you for that one year there needs to be a deal Scots here too, is already down to point of four percent of air is dead.
Seriously love areas. There is there's a co2 guy, so I told you that every conversation brings out that guy and then that guy came out just like that, Scott, don't you understand? Do you understand suitable?
food security is to be way higher in the past
because lower of plants- it I see you to see or to plan for guy
He needs to be like a Saturday life character and then there's the sun,
I was warming, the sun. The scientist forgot to study the sun. The sixteen largest freight ships release more pollution than all personal person in the world says stranger on Twitter. I, although the best you will be really interesting if it were, did I celebrate last night now I did not random date. Changes do not excite me and I don't drink and Christina doesn't drink either, which is one of our many compatibility. Is
someday Isabel rundown list of all the ways that Christine and I are weirdly compatible dislikes, there's just so many things its people were. I think surprised that we're a couple for all the obvious reasons, but you would be twice as surprised how many things which we have exactly in common, that that really bad noise socket other I've got you doing what you dont like ridiculing a belief what I love ridiculing beliefs. Are you kidding me just like your comments.
Yeah, I was surprised that so many of you were awake just for this was she ravenous. Somebody says you got money, she likes money. I think we could be
We could be reasonable adults on my periscope. Is there any such thing as a marriage? There isn't about money, at least in some important.
If there is anybody other whose getting married and they haven't considered,
both of you financial situations and what it looks like together? You really are not get married.
The very minimum like
I guess the minimum standard for even thinking about getting married is do the finances work.
If he had the two of you together do dire. Do you do better so, every time anybody says? Oh, it's about money in any relationship, weathers, minor and boiled. I always say how did Nobby? Isn't there like one of the most basic
things you gonna work out that the money works were both of you in whatever way. So
Do you think Trump and Kim signed the agreement? Justice signal progress? Yes, it is.
Hence I mean anything that was it, but his re signed agreement we don't ever do have signed the agreement with North Korea. I guess it was some kind of agreement. The said we will work towards this.
Equally rising the entire korean peninsula, but it was nonspecific. That's all I got for now, and I will I will talk to you later.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-05.