Comedian, actor, and podcaster Marc Maron feels nervous about being Conan O’Brien’s friend.
Marc and Conan sit down this week to chat about beginner podcast tips, difficult interviewees, health scares, and why they don’t hang out. Plus, Conan receives feedback on his showmanship from his assistant Sona during a new segment called Ways In Which Conan Is Like Freddie Mercury.
Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (323) 451-2821. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.
This episode is sponsored by Campaign Monitor (www.campaignmonitor.com/CONAN), Athletic Greens (www.athleticgreens.com/CONAN), tasc Performance (www.tascperformance.com code: CONAN), and HotelTonight.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
My name is Mark Marin.
And I feel nervous.
Lobbying counting o Brien friend had fallen back to work and low there
welcome to Conan O needs a friend, pretty simple idea:
does the show where I a kind o Brien talk to people
a lot of them. I've known for many years. They ve been on my show many times just trying to find out. Could we be real friends not just on the air talk show pals
real friends and I'm aided in my quest by my trusty assistant,
son, I'm ossetian alone. I am done
He haughty and you're. My Sancho Panza locate
Batman in you're, my robin ok right, I guess fair. Sir
and I dont robins not as these
cool he's not interesting
brooding linked Batman buy up I'll, take it. You know you're you're, definitely Chipper Robin, maybe you're Robin and I'm back
you think you're bad man. I think I'm pretty cool you! Ok, it's weird!
Ok, I guess I'm Robin to your Batman, because I think of Robin as
man's assistant
the way you're. My assistant,
but I'm going more by personality like Batman is cool and Robin is like night ass, cool. Ok, we'll talk about it later, also,
aided by my producer, Matt Goarly man
You do all kinds of stuff, and I don't understand it. You put things through filters. You touch various buttons. You have levels
What do you do on the Alfred? The butler of this file, your outright yeah, I'm living there in the podcast cave, does keeping things where in attacks.
Then things tidy, so you're Alfred's sonar is bad man and I am Robin yeah seems to be doing a lot more work than madman for sure. Yes, in this context, yes
Well, what a weird trio we are
but we're working together on this quest to find friends today we're going to talk to someone I known for a really long time. Mark Marin Mark has been struggling in the podcast space,
Maybe this will give him a little bit of a boost. He could use it anyway.
Throw these here Mark Marin. Why would I make you nervous what ye I think you're,
relatively nervous and I'm kind of
guided has limited boundary. So I pick up on your anxiety. You
I myself you're making me what are you young around, because every time that you have come on the show yeah and spend twenty five years
the show I think you know show more than anyone else to our ochre. You
and you're only given the Al Roker legs on hydrolyzed a lot more happy than me whenever you're on show, and after all these years, your site,
then I make you nervous a little yeah, but not like not in the way were I'm sort of like I don't know. If I'm going to be,
will they do their sir? If he likes me or something is just that you're pretty apt. So I
I gotta get out and
Sometimes, when I get at it
Taylor Miss with me, but with relevant areas when or how dare you put that on me, we are putting your whole personality on me, you're, a neurotic guy you're, an anxious guy. Yes, you are not a settled Zen guy, that's right! Suddenly you're here saying yeah on that way, because if you count and I'm not just saying that you amp it up well I up it up. I think I'm very calm, monsieur
become garbage. Even how you say com is, is making me anxious sauna, yes,
I call on that's owner nine seven. I I do I think. Are you calm? You would you, SAM Com, since your Diana, you know, I would not say you're a clear you go on. I think you're pretty. I agree with mark I'm sorry. I am I'm
You think I'm tightly wound yeah yeah. Ok, I think you are if you should see what that was nice, but maybe no more of you during this conversation. Do you remember when the first
I'm sorry. I have to be honest. I think
deserve. I should be even though me now broker have been on roughly
many times. Maybe him a little more is that he has done
didn't think every every other or every two appearances with road.
You could go like wow. You lost away
stay with me fresh every time? Yes,
You have to come up with a new idea. Every single time I talk. Will you kind of way for me to to kick started awkwardly? Yes, I know I never understood why that happened now, even though it became a thing with this idea and understand. Why here is the brilliant thing about you? There many brilliant things, but that was a car like it. I like it here
is amazing about you, you're twenty five years you ve been on so many times yes and
every time. You come out every time you come out, and this is back way before
each year the away before you were Mark Marin, the podcast God you ve Mark Mary, ever before I became a mid level celebrity that half the people knew yeah were hot. You are above mid level. You are high mid level. We s time, I'd, take it ok, long before all that you would come on my show due panel, and you would all
dig a hole? You dig
in front of the audio never intentionally thy? No, but you dig a hole, the audience would turn on you and you would always.
Did your way out. I know, and I don't know how you did it was I mean that's the way I work, that's how I create, but I've never planned. I always thought when I got out their whatever. My idea was to start to thing with was
gonna nail it ever
time, I'm amazed I get out there see. I don't know if it's my energy or my reacting to your energy as we already established where I, if it's a
one thing, but I put the bursting out and then not been, and then you look at me and then it's like you did it again and then I gotta look at the audience, can really and then
then yeah like me, but you re always that you would turn on the audience young. You would acknowledge right that you would started badly and you would do this every saying every eye and I'm telling people out there. Listening to this, you can go online and look up Mark Marin, appearance on the beginning. From ninety ninety three, almost to the present it's always,
same. You go out, you say something you should say we plan
maybe we didn't mean that was my now. He would freestyle it at you. Angry restyle, and you would say you know the Nazis gimme some credit for and then bang the not only were antiabortion rights on like that now.
Now something like that. You know the Hitler
the auto that's a good way to get around the
would have been the other way within the Nazis. Were pro abortion like. There was a good thing about the Nazis. Me you just royals pro choice. You just
No, if it's true, but I'm just trying to make an example. Gm and now I just did what I did on the show everyone out air thinks. I just did it again visit you actually what you are antiabortion, that's what they think right now, just fearing that quip. No, that was not the point of it see. This is how it happened, see the dynamic that's unfolding down, and then you have to save me and then I can get back on track. That's why it happened. So
we can save me. So you can look good taste, something why I ve been very happy for you because thank you, the podcast exe,
bloated. You are in the Mount Rush hour of podcast. It's your face.
Chiseled into a mountain next IRA glass.
He's too Sarah caning,
envisage this issue, I restart he was a radio guy. First, they just getting loaded up his radio show onto the podcast platform, and he
success because he already had it. I would like
would be removed from that now: wait: you're, throwing shaded, IRA Glass or hell yeah crocheted, I or glass. Ok, how can you just talk like that? All the time and act like it's going to be good, for
thirty years anyway. Now I love IRA. Now you don't know how you feel you know you have some resentment towards our glass democratize from he started in radio and then just shifted over into party dash if they just put his radio show on their yet, and so you really helped develop this, for
exactly you helped create just saying that yeah yeah, you are a giant in the pond casuistry yeah I'd, say that,
like on the mountain o, a widow Wilmore hiking up to me from where I was noses. Ok now you know a bunch of these citys more clearly, irish sort of
the bottom of the mountain he saw you access the mountain you step over his face too then start climbing the mountaineer. When you get to the top there you
our mark merit. I would say that everybody you like. I think that what I redeem, what PETE, what empires downward everyone's done with by casting is anything that brings people to the medium to getting it to the to the access, because there's a whole generation of people to this day. My
Otherwise, I think is lying can't figure out how to listen to one of my shows, but that's a whole other.
We want to talk about that. Just we're going to get some these people out here. So
because of the baron. You know when I wanted. You know, that's what you do. I know you go de sometime, you go deep and you go inside. I'm not gonna. Do that on this point naturally, but
but no unhappy for anybody who brings people the medium, so they have choices. Ok,
it will matic and I love IRA. I've listened to a show several times. I get moved. It's always a good story. You never know words going is obvious. We created something amazing, but it didn't start as a pike ass. Yet my have respect for sure you ended with the past regressive resentment. Ok, here's what I want to say you have this pod cast aside such respect for your podcast and I went on your pod cast
revered at that. For that reason there are many people had said to me: comin. You should have a pod cast. You have a quick actual mind. You have a smooth speaking voice.
You should have a Pakistan, I said no, I won't do it because I
the tv show mark, has the podcast. Then you betrayed.
Me we'll God, listen. You got married, you shoulda! Ok, that wasn't enough, for you then allow right. Ok, you have to tv shows and applied cast. That is why I'm starting this pot cast out despite out of sight
Why should you have to
Tv shows, and I asked you just a tv show ya know
and I think I check made I
yeah. I guess I win this round on anybody. I guess you got in at the right time. There's only ninety thousand podcast failure is true. I was told there are very few these. I was too
but my people that this is. I is perfect right right at the point where people have had enough of vodka. Your launching one, I think, that's great, I was told I was assured by my people.
There was you, unlike one other, and that was it the gist.
The ten on Itunes that are listed in the top ten nets- the young ones. It exists, don't ever scroll below that.
Don't you need a great, as is news to me. You're dualistic, Jobbery, listen, I I I respect
You angry master, this format it! What's your advice, is there anything? You could tell me about a pod cast our two things I should avoid.
Door or or their things I should be doing. Or how do you prepare Gimme some advice?
then friends, a long while, not friends, but we ve known each other. You remedy advice. I gave you a bright the first year of your show by one my first appearances. It was so funny because I was
different place in my life there and in I told you before.
I go on. I got. I told you my mantra, which was hide. The hate you,
he started took out with your hide. The height hide behind a hate will that's also debts and very irish catholic thing. Here we hide the hey. If you
it's someone, you tell everyone, but that purse that you hate them, but you never tell that now hide the hate and display the shame right. That's the Irish Catholic Gray, right, yes, advice,
passing I dont know for me. I don't I'd. I prepare, like my. I see your notes, my notes, work anymore. More, I just your handwritten ones. There's never any type things with me and I use
Just do bullet points or scatter dumb. I do almost like a weird collage of bits.
This is, I want to know about. So it starts to work like that.
Right in my brain, so I don't have any ordered way of of sort of asking questions.
I just have a bunch of ideas about the person or bids you like. If somebody cured cancer, you don't want to miss that one that vacuum
You should probably involve that in the conversation I tried it
big achievements. Are things are known for I'll? Throw that on the list I'm looking through here from the planet by casting a dancer own insecurity? Did it you do naturally honest? I didn't
you. I had any hearing cancer now so see,
it says here you got a latin Grammy yeah see that this is good. Podcasting.
You're not prepared to human moment you're. Looking through your pop your pages, I is a rough edge to it. Yes, like you a lot of times, you hear my neighbour working on his yard. Casually people would not
and the door sometimes went in
Richter was on. That was doubtless-
got me to get an air conditioner like Andy came on, and
it was summer and it was in the garage and I had not put a unit in the window yet and Andy almost died. I don't know if he's talked about that publicly, but I never
no person sweat more than that. Well and after that I got their condition at Helms. Had a cat allergy. I didn't think that the cats
would transiting? There was no cat ever in the garage,
but he was wheezing. Forty minutes in and
I needed an hour, so is it was hard to it
add, wheezing watches
ok, you're sweet, as you should know the archaic as your carry a lot of guilty here. These I think I got an air purifiers. What I'm saying? That's what got me to do that some Andy ended in any rector sweats in a snowstorm. You should know that number two is add: Helms has tuberculosis, oh my god ass it. I don't know that any now gray loves cats are not alert. You cannot simply be enjoyed thinking. Music was ten helms played banjo. I believe so am I making that no less play banjo? That's what he does. This thing is he plays bandanna. Did he played some banjo, my recollection, Steve Martin, I believe
that's all Steve does now right. Apparently, I want to have him on the show, but he's going if we only talk about banjo and might not doing that, you said notice, Dean, Martin, I did know you do that. I did we
What now you say, yes to State Marny, let's do it. He wants to do many journeys, yet it in exam
I know. I know the game by Nike
something about him that intimidates me there's a few people have on. I think its ever gonna happen.
I think we have a good conversation with Betty. We just in this period where he written a book.
Stand up and now is the end of it. Now is all about banjo and I got nothing against banjo, but like
when did I gotta fight, I gotta have a steep Martineau seems a little depressed, anyways, we're talkin.
A banjo, and then I go like when you first got on stages is a peace. I can do
your dad. Usually what happens with older artists I've found my God
Roger Waters, for example from pink Floyd near some of these guys day there out promoting record, which
Sometimes the only way I can get them and
he gets in areas like we're. I want our developing pink and am I gonna Christ right so that this happens?
all the time. On my show, I don't want to talk about the only thing, I'm no right right and then it s only a vague and you ve only got like eleven minutes yeah and the source like Eli Whitney invention, though heightened joke cotton, and then he comes on and just before
one thing which is not about the cotton daily from doesn't know anybody knows about you, Eli, no, no, no! No! No! I'm workin on something new, its issue. No one cares. No one cares about your shoe. Enshiu YO
so many so many times the publicist rival.
Publicists publicist always says first line of defence involved with this publicist always says you know that thing. That's really funny that my client was going to say that Ireland areas and it's going to totally kill and it's gonna go viral, we're killing that girl going and indifferent Eurasia. They're gonna talk about one knowing exactly where no with Roger would ultimately happens. Is you realize that they do
I talk about it because I ve been talking about their whole life and
for some reason, I just think that that with the new
thing they're doing is the best thing they've ever done because they have to yes- and you know you just working around me like within seconds Rodger waters wasn't throwing David Gilmour under the bus, and I'm like I didn't even ask for this right
did you find him to be a little bit of a sour ball? He's angry got yeah does the same thing. Yes, I interviewed him once
he was incredibly sour, intense energy, then daddy, stuff, yeah sour he's was no fun to talk too I'll, throw him into the bus and chemical run into him again, and so I yeah, but I won't recognize him and now
does the problems? Could you recognize any of pink Floyd? Almost
Bandit you write your entire life. You would reckon
but like him yeah, don't you unrecognised? They learn our industry, which I might I wouldn't know. How do you know of the Germans? Name is, and there are huge band
he's not weird it's. Where do we don't know their faces here?
but I want to throw Roger Waters and of the bus guy has he was a sour ball and then we go to commercial, and you know and commercial, that's usually when most guests there's a friendly as James. You can have a line on this and I want you always say to lean over and collectors pretty good, heavens. Ok, that's what you always do that
I don't know what you're here listening Divans out, ok was actually did. You think was out. Ok and others always like,
Ok, I gotta take care mark here, yeah exactly but a glass, so we
we throw to commercial, be paid back, that bans playing Roger Waters turns to mean he goes. That's it, and I said I
yeah that that was in the interview. Anyone then this is me leaving and he stood up and walked.
As I see way, advise like what is ass. He put his that that's it.
I've got you tricked into doing your show, didn't really want to do to begin with. I think he thought he was doing Ellen.
People I can look like.
One from a distance, but I find that would
these guys, those guys those older dude, specially musicians like I, but some of them
did like new Young, I didn't know, was a difficult interview,
when told me. I should have done some homework right so now I gotta pull tee
Thank God, he tried to figure out
radically how many nicotine lozenges I do and you got a real kick out of the equation and we were
kind of rowing from their turn out to be good envy. That's the key to podcasting, don't plan the conversation, dont planet conversation and nicotine flaws, and I was
for one back, I'm going to talk about it when someone says don't talk
thought, it might say: let's talk about it, yeah just a cycle with me. I got off him like I haven't smoked a cigarette in like over decades. It's been a long time. I was on the nicotine lozenges for a long time
enjoy them, and then I found this
of you know, dipping and get just get any nicotine anyway. Could then I'm like this guy stop and I stopped everything perfume
I thought when they do have a cigar, thou, be nice and then, within weeks of smoking to a day, I can't breathe, and then I gotta get off the cigars and then were back on the last hinges in it all starts again. Conan could cod is the joy,
Joy of decisive, Addictive Ba ended no, no, no, no designed now it to get off. You just ended
and what the addiction or all of it the whole thing.
Nine budget used era. You flowers, tat! You do not show off that more suffered enough
tell you man tat some other time. Gonna help you take your life.
So I'm I'm I'm on it. I'm doing my I am actually doing do had been exercising a lot, went to the Doktor Evans Brigitte weight. So you links the doctor. I know that you're very phobic about easier health, not bad, not bad news values to be waiting.
You you had a big prostate scare. You told me that yeah, you told me once
You had a prostitute Scot. I had it. It's always that's that
they won't remember, was it made. You feel that you had a prostate skip just so much time on my hands, but what
any symptom. What have I got to think about me? I ride Dinah Somethin,
that age there? Is you go?
doctor and get one of those exams now? Wake me up
you voluntarily- went and had a guy put his hand area or ass, not all hand. Where do you go
I gave a guy that does to hand of yes that's a hell of a joint hands and hill yeah. He gets all kinds
seven ere I pay him. Top quality is easier. The doktor! You know
funny. He doesn't use, not dress. Like a doctor, you already just really where any diploma there's no diploma.
Got me thinking that you know we have to do what we have dragon add break you're gonna. Do it together
Brady into your own reading and drop ads, and I do my own azure, but you don't even later you can do now, not look into it. Now I want you, I don't you.
Look at me? Well, I do an outbreak is the only way
Do it and really feel good is naked, and so I get
but I need everything. Radio, India and Pakistan is like when you dear ready. I show you sit there and watch him. Do the thing hey as everybody here, one of em
Teddy Bear you like Teddy Bears. Vermont Teddy bears big advertiser back in the day. I was a true from on Teddy Bears. I say the outs
I used to do it when I was doing that show in San Francisco. I did radio for while you know I tried to take an added.
In its impact taken every nano yeah, I think an outbreak, but you ve had forty five. Let's blow it is EU laws and what is road of the outbreak throw to the agri? What you're thinking sought for second hate? What is what is what would you like your audience to bygone? In my god, I can't wait to tell you.
It seems like you got more to say about something. I have a lot more say: boom outbreak right there,
got, you know what a yes it did it and I screwed it.
Yeah sure about. Let's get to that, I break the sea
He can't be the last. He can
Let me be the last one to talk and could just cut it. There's guys know no half and we're gonna go away. I know now we're on keeping. All of this isn't just give us the ad copy. Let's read it now: let's go, I don't have it. What yeah
then advertiser. That's on the fence until we got Marin. It's true. Ok, you noted is its.
Company that sell now became lozenge good. Can I wanted you finish work? They did all jumbled.
Right now. It's time for a stag made called Conan. O Brien pays off the mortgage on its beach house. Yeah, I'm an adult took out a big morgue
made some sketchy financial choices, but I'm a big boy
pay their pay the piper
I'm gonna pay them bells down. It paid him bill pay
them bills. When they go for many people, high schools and embarrassing time of life, it can be embarrassing that are a few had that sooner I did not. I was an incredible jock. What no captain of
Every team, every single sports team. You can't change the narrative captain of every single team by ice,
I feel like. No one would believe that lost my virginity fifth grade. Ok,
I was just incredible, so I don't know, but I told that people have a hard time of yeah, I'm sure with your awkward body.
See upsets supper,
You seem sorry, usually when people feel really sorry, they laugh so hard. They can't catch their breath. Okay, so now you win, I had some difficulties in high school. Yes, you know I'd it.
And all smooth sailing. What yeah? Ok, that's really funny yeah! I guess the jokes on me yeah anyway laughing at you again. We hear nothing when upon Castillo here. No,
anyway. This new show a new show called every
things: gonna be ok
and heard the sun. They show up. It's it's quite compelling, sir.
Sounding there's a cat
character. Her dad is dying,
Her gay australian half brother moves in two razor.
End of the show is called everything's going to be okay and it's these two characters. Matilda and genevieve- and this does not sound like your typical sitcom Matilda has autism and Genevieve is just
as someone who's dressed up like a quote child whore widow, and these
characters. I guess, have all these adventures. I have a half brother Nicholas, there's a funeral. Everyone shows up, apparently they
He's got a little off the hook. This may sound depressing, but I'm told this show is really find a watch. I'm sorry, did you see a little off the hook? Yeah, that's that's all. That's always kid say it sounds like it could be depressing, but then it's off the hook. Now, although I used to correct
ok yeah, so maybe you're in Kronk village. Why I'm quite content and I use that
equally, I re worried.
I don't throw a hazy over. There are losing oh, my guide, everything's gonna, be ok, that's the name of the show
out of here. I just turned eighty mecca: premiers January, sixteen thirty, eight thirty, seven, thirty central on free form. That's right!
watch all my entertainment free form check. It out.
Bang were back
The average job at every didn't do a good job. Excellent, I put me
personality into. It is great. I wish I could remember what I want to bring up earlier. Does.
Because I know it
says I get older. You I forget a lot of things.
Walk into rooms alot now and I dont,
I came into the room, then my wife comes in the room and I my career.
You had ceased, it's scary in trying to escape my one go back to that doctor, my god. I learnt that done. He put an alarm clock up there once they I wake up and walked around it. For four weeks is a fantastic experience
I I wonder why I maybe you can answer this. This is part of the point of my podcast. We don't each of the twenty five years. I, like you, have a letter
Actually, you always make me laugh, but we're not friends,
We're not frighten ITA. I've talked about that in particular with you
over there, that we don't hang. We don't
do you hang with anybody everywhere?
you get to a certain age. You ve got kids, you got a wife, you gotta House, Yoda things to worry about you. I need time just a freak out about it,
the debate like her,
you got a really make time for people, but I remember when you did my show is near the beginning. I appreciate you doing it and
I'd done your show many times, you always been good to me. I you know I've always been loyal to the show and we had that dynamic and any
over, and you do that the Pakistan afterwards, because I wrote about this- I think I talked about on the show you gonna
after a little while and after
In point of my eyes,
the house. Yes, you ok, I dont want. We don't do this by wakes up on that. I get up on that because, because ginger podcast I enjoy it
company. I'm in your home. I am in your home and use started for getting anxious, and then you started trying to get me to the door, and I was offended
you I was offended yes, because I thought why not sit down. Did you material in an ant and offer me a piece of pumpkin pie would have via pie you gonna get,
as pumpkin fire on ice cremation,
ice cream back and, I might add, pie I've had to feed people before said he had to feed people who chose to be something that you do with love and generosity. Only normal people come over there. Only properly John Glaser came over once and he was starving. I made him a sandwich.
Roseanne came over once in she needed some. I gave her Cantwell people hated. It cause using cantaloupe on the on the MIKE. That's a disgusting sound when so needs
rather than talking her, you know what
that was very good. Those we're gonna give you points for that.
Why did you want me out of the house? I'm a good guy. I clean up nice, oh no, it was nothing like a. I didn't want you at the house. I just didn't know what you know. I never been in that situation with you like what every time like here's, what my experience I go to the dressing room Jimmy
the guitar play you come in, say hi, what's going on, I see out there I go out there. We say thank soon in over the years it's gotten warmer and then I go away so there we just
for an hour by your wife and child hidden and you're in my house, and my I've never had leave much taller here than he is on the set, and
Now we just talking- and it was awkward- and I thought I heard me out- you should meet and obey them. We actually acknowledge its like it's weird that we don't hang out. I don't know I wanna hunger hang out, you want a hanger, I gotta lotta people, my phone, they have done on the show that had been show, but do I call him the only guy? This is why I want to talk to you is that for twenty five years I've been talking to three guess tonight: there there to promote whatever their promoting and we look friendly on the air, but then I don't hang out with them afterwards, plus right, better thy party not long ago just and I looked around and every one of the party is someone on my payroll. The owner
people that my party are people I pay, did you invite other people? I ain't gonna, an invitation to. Maybe this is the problem now I didn't invite you
Well, because here's my theory, my theory, is that
We aren't peanut butter and jelly we're peanut
and then more acidic peanut butter. We're like like
if he would sugar and then just a chunky, rocky yes and you put both of those together and there isn't much. There is an even bread to readjust eating it with your hands near unanimous. A freak show in your mouth is clicking Pierre. You have no water, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Maybe that's true,
I think we have a certain similar energy. I think
We have a lot more in your head to me. I think you think so
I can. Naturally, your brain like mine is completely area.
What's going on in my head in the centre of, I think
you sometimes can kind of look at other things and end improvise on that with me. I have to be. I care why? How does that affect me?
I have to go through that way. So I think you yet more active imagination. That's probably a little more palatable
it just like that up online? That's called narcissism, yeah. Why fight that you on we're?
you're losing nominal you're losing out another northeast. My father, you know you wait. I say you think you are not a narcissist. You just said any time you want to talk about anything. You have to relate it to yourself and how you're the center of the universe. We have it I'm aware of that. So that makes me not a marxist, so
serial killer notices system on Mars is. Is it here
you can know, a serial killer can know, he's a serial killer, but if he continues to kill in the Pacific North
last he's still a serial killer yeah, but, like he likes that, I particularly liked this part myself. You don't like it
because, like you, my dad, I think, is really actually pathological. Nurses, doping, everyone's a little self centered Noel Narcissistic, so I have shrapnel from that upbringing and behaviors from it. By its.
I don't have a blind spot, you I'm not! I have shame. I have guilt. I have a conscience. You haven't awareness of empathy, so all that stuff they the self centered. This element is that
to think about myself.
Because I'm neurotic right, so why think about
things outside to me. It's it has to do with my with its
back dummy again, and I think it's help my comedy to be honest with you, because there
the point you know to be true when you're doing jokes and their written and their top.
Go you! You know that,
Their talk shows are going to do similar, Thea, jokes yeah, so
at the same would stand up so once I was able to on tether myself from observation or political comedy and just focus on me, no one's going to steal. I defy someone to do my material, because it's all about me and if you that much like me, then I'll talk to you after this,
I have to say you're. This is totally making sense to me because it's the thing I like the least about
you shall right now is when there is this pressure to be topical. Now talk about trust.
Because everybody's doing it so I find much more joy in common
has nothing to do with. What's going to talk about your own experience right, so that's what I started to do on a very conscious way of level, and maybe you and I
to a pretty well and I can integrate a lot of cultural.
This is or whatever and talk about current events, but I have to do it now from
I point of view and not from jokes. Yes,
it was a great. It was
is good for me too, to realise yes,
can be really honest with you you're. The reason I think we hang out is that over the years you introduce me. Oh, this is the woman. I'm
You know how I sort of straw to try and form a bond with her and then she's gone that happened over the years, pretty clever transition. Well, I saw what he did there now, but hasn't it,
I was appeared a time where your lignite, a few of my life
two of the wives and most of the girlfriend dynamic has come. I let them all
I had them all and you know what I'm afraid
form a bond with them, because I don't know what's gonna happen, you where you been,
What about me? What about the bomb of me that sea we still got it. You know, I think Eve Eve dealt with friends who have had women
I happen to know you. Definitely no people who ve had it
the women come and go. Yes, I have, but
believe me. I have a hard time maintaining the bond with those women did. Did you did, but you were you much quicker and making? I think I'd alarming and I think I formed a deeper bond with those women in robbing only seconds we talk, you manage, you have no idea what ever you found on forty seconds sometimes took me years and a lot of money to figure out now. It's
Cypriots liability unity, the relationship
you any time your with someone, and this may be, could be the foundation of a new friendship I need.
And you start to date. Some one have me meet them.
Have they meet them alone? Like the third date? Look, I just have commons gonna meet us at the restaurant overstate first date.
It is too many times. Have you back yet I know, but now I am with I've been with the one now fur like four year. That's great! Let's go I'm pretty hungry happy for you, but that, but that's not like its side, but the two wives that those are about.
The confidence. Sorry, I've dispensary this too many times have you yet I know, but no, I'm with I've been with the one now fur like four year. That's great! Let's go I'm pretty, I'm very happy for you, but that, but that's not like it's good sign, but the two wives that those are about eight eight and a half years. My and then
That's about as long as a marriage should last. Then there is the one that, before this one, the three or one that that was probably would that would if she would
made me not want to be someone's friend really yeah. I don't know what happened to her
Did you know we're both wives? Eight years? Did you say about yet?
in half married now with them for a few years before you. That is so interesting cause. I'm
married and eight years into my marriage, my wife looked at me and said: I think I'm good the off I'm out. I think,
good, but we still we're still together. You know is still together now yeah, but how you get past that hump well she's real
some good earner,
yeah how'd, you get everything you want to earn your notes. I you know you keep saying. I have notes, and I really don't these are recipes now. Can I have
he's yours, I'm looking for some new recipes for thanksgiving.
A young girl, but you know what you would be awful on Thanksgiving, I'm greater. I couldn't harem, I cook for twenty two people. Do you even know them
as their family, and I didn't do a for a couple years- gives Eddie. I was shooting glow and I'll citing want to deal with the republican contingent, but I'm going back for the first time and like three years this year and we we brought the number down, but I I'm the guy who cooks the entire thing.
So crazy, because you don't have you have the opposite of a hollow,
the energy, here's, how to get in the make this amazing, spread and and then
fuck around in the diesel. This ring. True with you, I walker
cause. You know me this way I walk round like how was it is your pretty good how's, the stuffing best
Well? How did I do exactly? What did I do? Ok is ass, giving that died. What did you think of me doing my things
giving bright how
it got only say anymore, because I've gotten some confidence, Amazin secures a used. You used to be so I don't I don't fish for it.
Before the end. What, if you don't get it?
and I know when you're waiting for your legs jiggling, your popping. You know
your popping men, Philemon lozenges, cinnamon ones are sentiment, rains yeah for milligrams. He just smoke allows and just out of desperation, Usher Magda got your light. I hope the ever laid up laws engineer suck on an ice, nor did him. I snorted, though often she's. We should do that. Sometimes
How do I say I do that with you. That is thing I remember years ago. This is story that I
told me, maybe I've told at once years ago back
the day communist. This might not make the cut we
We have a very low bar analysis
there. I was what matters back when I was still using drugs M and we ve been drinkin on. I mean this guy man we're back at the house where I lived with a bunch of other duties and we
run out of drugs and we had run out of wicker and we were chopping up. We are grinding up. Remember vibrant, wasn't going to buy from yellow pills, which Ufs is equal to two cups of coffee
and we were snorting Byron, so there was like a Bugatti yellow and escaped in our nostrils, and it's like two in the morning and Bob comes home from work after being a waiter, and he looks it as he walks in the kitchen is like
snorting, vibrant, you put your
Norton, vibrant ages,
shakes his head and goes to bed
it was on. Those moments. Where was I I ass stupid is in you,
this is a new low. We
apparently want to snort something
the matter. When I'm glad you mention vibrant, because the good
environment, good. Having raising primary
and lost invade bought in too kind o needs a friend
that was perfect. The wayside weight into it. I love talking to you. I really do
and I am very honoured that you would stop by my podcast? As I said, you were the master of this form.
I basically got you heard to ask you one simple question, which is why I make money
You are. How did you start out with pretty good crowd and, like you knows, of their your guy
that, but you can do to make some cash here. I do I do I don't off its cash you used to, but I think
you'll, see what the numbers are than he saw the numbers, because I need you can't need money, I'm five. Why did I fucked me
you're one of those guys you overextended where's the second house, it was a few problems both to get about. There was a boat. There was a vote. It was I'll say that while so I got excited about two years ago
theme, restaurants and I went into the garden. I went anymore through. I went in big on theme, restaurants. I did not consult anybody. I did not consult my wife. I did not consult my business manager and lost at all sir. There was a theme restaurant in them.
A whole chain of them was a new idea and the whole idea was of some them are like nineteen fifty themes. This was a depression era, themed restaurant and
Did you have to go wearing a barrel? Did the weights deaf, where barrel that was one
the ideas we rejected it. Actually I was impractical, but it was a lot of Jesus depression era. Themed music was playing and we mostly just served apples and into
no good- and I went in- I didn't know- you're not force put your own money and he was so I'm sorry, nothing
he'll do ok, you know what will happen if I said to you, I think you'll do ok, you'd
spiral, but we did you buy, would spiral. Wouldn't you if hey
hey next time, you're on the show. If I went back behind backstage in a green room and you
a crowd and when I think you'll do ok
for you just turn into a puddle, a marked Marin puddle, I think you're gonna do great.
Like that. You enjoy just account now. I think, of the ok
such as
honoured to have you. Thank you so much. I thank you. You didn't everything you didn't dig a hole. No, I didn't I just as again these are just polity recipes. Try figure out. If I ever have any questions for you and you can ask me a question luncheon
me a question, you replied tat. I had not necessary smiles. What a good work ethic
yeah. Alright, I think it was out how your approach, everything in your life,
I have a question. I should like to highlight as nice as question, but a sort of serious and I don't think, there's an answer to it and I think that United processed it in their it's all heavy.
There is a God. There is a heavy, we'll heavier
person on its or heavy you want. We ask it yeah, ok, so
when you hosted of the tonight, you yeah wage had.
Why did I have you want an angel me because it only lasted for forty five minutes. Look, I didn't get to you
Ok, I just so many people that weren't on that tonight show because I mean
too bad time very stand. There is there, an apple will wrought faster
Why can't I go out what it was like for me at that time? Now,
I will try not great you realize we didn't get. There was not a lot of time that we were on the air right and
you took this is amazing. You took my losing it tonight show and made about with that
it adds that no, that is not an interpretation note. It is. That is what you d, I was excited you got to show. I was all I was always on. The other show like this can be great I've waited. I didn't do that tonight, you're with anybody else, and I'm going to do my pal Conan. I should beyond the first week of now
they now. Why will because
had pearl jam. We'll feral I mean I'm sorry, I'm sorry you weren't on the first week
I think in my head. I was thinking, can't wait to have mark on because you
but what they say about tonight show house once you name it tonight show House he last as long as he wants, and then you know what happened that didn't have ok, and so I never got to you because there wasn't enough time- and I apologise. Thank you and I
now if I could get in time. A shame that you were my first guest on that tonight show. Thank you. I didn't mean it. You do ok here they killed
nature, salad or France. I don't want to bring it up. I just I just got an. I want some closures and I forgot that I had the resentment until this morning.
You resent that idea,
Have you on the show it's over now that was on fur yeah. I'm sorry about that may seem all choked up about. No, this is better. You know. If I had my choice between you tonight shower podcast. This is clearly want to take. It
this is the way I go is the hardest thing you actually, while good work,
do we want a verse guess the facts ass? Well, if this is this is anything like hey. You know
this may be one of four episode,
a guardian under the wire and you're going to happen in the next weeks. Why jail and he's gonna get do going to do from a fire engines are given anything format that work at the thought and thought.
Phoebe. I don't pay
interesting? I see the car I gonna do remember very, have nine Phelan, not why haven't found people cynicism
we're sweating it out with sweating out the
I also say this often, but I love you you're, a great man. I and I thank you so much. I really am vague, really I'm honored. Thank you. So much me to leave that last pardon and now it is time for another instalment of Cardinal Brian pays off the mortgage on his beat.
Look it's time for a new segment called ways in which
when is like Freddy Mercury now why
Bringing this up as soon as absolute hero in show. Business is Freddy Mercury. Yes, that's an I'm hard and I'm guessing I'm number two and so
One of the ways in which I'm like forty mercury, not at all at not even in
talk about I'm enumerated in this showman. Well, I mean the way
you're a great showman in the way Freddy Mercury was a great showman are very different, which today
he was the best front man of a band ever and you dance. He could clear up a specific
I'm sorry you
wait. I am your great at what you do, but you can compare yourselves the ready,
I saw the movie about Freddy Mercury, the biotech bohemian wraps it
I saw bohemian rhapsody and I watched it and what I thought when I was watching it. Was there telling my story? Oh that's what I felt wit. How do you think you are like Freddy Mercury?
He was born with extra teeth, and that gave him this in credit, which felt like a disadvantage. But then it also gave him this incredible. Multi octave range. Ok, I
was born with a certain body and certain
fidgety mannerisms and strange hair that hat and a weird first name
that all word disadvantages when I was a child, but then made me the greatest front man in his
boy. You are almost had me until the very end, and I think you know what here's round as I think you would be just as funny in a different body, because it's your brain that makes you funny, but it's hard to argue that it's not his teeth and gave him the range that he has. I think that my career has gone through many of the ups and downs pretty mercury stood, and I think that I was the voice of a generation, oh man, worldwide, in the seventies and into the eighties. You think you are aware,
of a generation in the seventies. Your ear like in your team at its anyone, was listening. Oh you're, just talking yourself yeah, I have my version of I think when I go to COMECON Andrew shows there.
It's like Wembley. My oh ok and I think it means is much too, but one wide audience do you think you may comparisons? You compare yourself to people like I don't know I mean just going off me
people like Jesus and William Shakespeare and vice and laboratories. Oh, you think, ok, yeah right, I feel like I'm talking, my father could about a carpenter. I I have apart
those meaning writers, you keep your raiders is apostles here. This podcast is my sermon, modest similarities. Do you think you're a little ill, yeah ill? The way Picasso was ill elderly
Mozart was ill, so you're saying I'm sort of like Freddy Mercury does not completely like for no, I said you're nothing like Freddy Mercury. I can sing like him. Do you have parties that are just full of debauchery, or are you like? Here's, here's, my wine
If it's an appropriate amount of wine, you d want to have more than a glass. Maybe two, two glass
since at most because then there is the sugar
and also its dehydrates, so make sure that you drink three glasses of water for every glass of wine. I'm sure that's something Freddy Mercury Dead, no sir! He watched his cholesterol. The way I did
and I'm sure he was really good friends with his college remain. They talked about Theodore. Roosevelt that these are things ways
Freddie Mercury and I are very similar. Why, anyway,
get it to best showman that you ve known in your life as forty mercury kind, o Brien who's to say, who is actually the better showman fretting mercury? We can think about more ready mercury, even I'm ready mercury.
Freddie Mercury. So we'll get your final deciding mercury, biodiversity, Merchiston, Freddy Mercury, ready mercury!
Now she's mowing it over forty mercury. We already mercury await ready mercury patiently, Freddy Mercury, Freddy Mercury becoming so Freddy Mercury.
So to tie coding. O Brien needs a friend with solemn of session and Conan o Brien as himself produced by me back Goarly executive produced by Adam Saxon Jeff for us at team, cocoa and calling Anderson and Chris Ban, and at your was special thanks to Jack White and the white stripes. For the theme song incidental museum by your movie. You can write and review this show on Apple podcast and you might find your review featured on a future episode. Gotta question for Conan call the team cocoa Hotline at three two three four five one, two eight to one and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode and if you have an already, please subscribed. Conan o Brien needs a friend on apple pie, guests, stature or wherever find Lancaster down
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Transcript generated on 2020-01-10.