My name is Elvis Costello and I feel splendid differs about being common o Brien spread, but that's lovely That's really lovely split difference I knew you wouldn't just give me a run of the mill word. Friends, hello welcome to come O Brien needs friend. I'm done the best to have a malicious, Louis, unless tone, smooth and professional trying to sound. Like other people, I've heard on Podcast

the radio and I'm in my head now, but I can't help it. I'm Corner o Brien, I'm here to please and I hope you enjoy this audio info, payment on joint as our by some Ossetian, my trusty assistant, high and also sitting in with us soon as assistant and boy is out of cedar and basically does all the work that dies refuses to do David. Having our you don't forget area, I'm good was happen. I haven't bound to peck, oh oh now, how could you you ve been on maternity leave here, for I think four years on yeah, it's weird for the last three months, things have been very fish.

My life. Everything think you're good work David. I think you're leaving stepped forward and just started helping me I'm doing things that you refuse to do yeah, and so I'm stunned that you have a bone to pick with make us, I think, have had to pay for the work that he has been on. The gravy train now for three months. Ok refers. That's a separate thing I have to like complain about is that it's not gravy train I'm a mom, I'm taking care to babies now. So why would I like? I won't want to delay- and I was one of six and my mom we used to put us on the kitchen through a boiled ham and the sound of a room and say lucky. You are I'm out ok, so tell me about your Plato, can't say that I listened to all of us, but it sure why should you bet you guys, release this whole segment about my formal and your go, we're gonna. Do you know any? Was we ve moved by the way for anyone who is a no fear of missing out yeah? And you were talking about going to sugar fish and sending me pictures and stuff and then you're like

we're going to do all the things that Sonia loves to do and all you could think of ways going to see thunder from down under the maelstrom show in Vegas? Yes, drinking wine and getting high so is. Is that the that is ninety eight percent of what I think of you. Ok, that's bear! No judges, tv. What's on watch tv, you watch tv, but you do enjoy the male body used to obsess over. any show the depicted men in all their masculine glory. Obsess gigolo say you are all day. You still love your favorite movie that you would talk about. All the time was magic. My magic MIKE and when there was a sequel pretty much made me take you and a bunch of your lady friends to see the magic MIKE Sequel yeah, which midnight showing. Yes,

soon came out when it came out yeah, and so you love that you loves, loves, loves your wine. Ideal loves my wine and we have a picture there was hanging in her office for years of me in the back. from being sworn by fans that wanted pictures, and they were just like lining up and I was taking place the signal and you're in the foreground, ignoring me with the big poor of shared, nay, I've ever seen. Massive glass and yours things are not helping me in any way, and it was a candid photo. Wasn't a gag photo was a candid phone. It wise. You know why. Now that you bring all that, you are also clear, live without your gummy say it's ok, relax! I can live without do now. Since you became pregnant, you stopped yeah and I know you're right. It is a really tough time off

If you really meant to miss it do so might, and I think all maybe I'll just have like half of wine. But then, unlike what, if I sleep through one of the baby's crying ailing meeting me for something, and so I just I don't do it, but I about a live thing in a way, maybe you're, maybe you're, right, no art, my wife. course, sir. We have two kids and in the early years her thing was that our door- our bedroom door always had to be opening case. Somebody cried and then, of course they got older. They stop crying in there to the night, and then they got even older, but always door always opening case anybody needs anything any things going on the ep. Now children. Are you no eighteen and about to be sixteen? My son's like six, three still dork What if he needs us what if he needs us if he needs s, appeal smash through his bedroom wall

come smashing through are bedroom war, because these six for, like two hundred eighty five pounds We mean if he needs us if he needs us, we'll pick up his bad, throw it out of the window it just in saying I advise you need him now I know but she's she's ever gonna. You know when they have their own kids and their visiting us. She still to that end. I am we're like a hundred and ten years old, yeah she's, really going to keep the bedroom door open can assign need us who needs us. Those people in their fifties? What would do. How would I help them. When I rip off one of my legs and handed them using rush, because that's because I can put off right now- I'm not withered an old some. Sir madness. I was like you

think of anything else and I is our caricature yeah I defend students- and I say well- there are complex through three dimensional. I can make a couple of jokes, but I really can't reduce them. thing cartoonish, because that's not fair to them, but sooner oh great, because you really are a treatment drawing your wine, your guns. You love your armenian snacks here and you love to watch El strippers do their thing now phenomena a simple person, and I welcome his height. I love it started with you having a beef with us and then immediately immediately admitting that you are in the wrong way. We're right is accurate. One thing is: you came to sugar fish though yes I did. I did we did have now sugar fish. I always explain these people know yeah sugar, fishes an amazing sushi chain and

there's one right near the podcast studio and sugar fish soup. is one of sound, his favorite things, and so I've been taking David yeah, because you ve been home. I never had it until. I know you ve. Never I mean forceful David. Here we go no being honest here, David, a man of humble means, I'm saying that. No, I think a kind and gentle way. Thank you. I know David's idea of good eats, is you note three sticks of beef jerkin and, and he gets to drink the whole spray. So we went. I took you to sugar fish and you just were you can believe it you're like this task and look. They ve got it actually

not silverware on the table excited and there was a toilet there in the restaurant use and down right anyway. It was a big deal for you that I will say yeah the rice was warm. Rice was warm here. He just I did and we kept too, and so I said we start taking photographs and sent him to Sonia Louis home yeah spoon feeding your kids, whatever they eat, spoonbill our deleting solid food. Yet no thirty, three months old, I completely forget what age that happens I think that for us, Merk probably going to start doing that like six, I think I remember very clearly the first time we fed my daughter, solid food. I remembered sitting at this little table just watching. happen and it was seeing her expression is. She was like white. Yeah, and you know what you better. It was salt water taffy on a spoon with year with very short notice,

we ve told later on. I was mistaken. It was some kind of mashed Mush Africa when it was, you know, but anyway, sinks, a human being experienced for the first time, solid food, yeah and despair. Mind exploded cigarette everything. For the first time I ever when you took your first gummy wow you weren't? There was their rights and credible. I was at a time. I was happy a leathern bladder. We have big shouted. A big big show very excited. My guest today is a Grammy award, winning singer songwriter and member. The rock and Roll Hall of Fame he's recorded thirty one studio albums over the course of his career in his latest project, how to play it. are, and why is part, destruction manual, part memoir and available now on audible I'm a huge fan of gentlemen. I listened to this instruction manual, Slash memoir. I have Lee loved it, because I haven't and fascination with a guitar and with

this gentleman in his music. I am thrilled he's with us today, Elvis Costello welcome you're one of my favorite people to talk two and one of my all time, favorite artists so to get to see her with you and have a thoughtful conversation foresee our. Should I tell you what six out I was. I brought a little bit of a candle men cake. to his you also. We have a you, can urinate into anything when thank you I think I carry one all the time. Anyone who I saw that I saw that, and it looked sad Elvis pieces difference- and I was listening to- I don't know how to describe it- it's absolutely lovely how to. guitar and why it's available inaudible, audible and I was listening to it and it is

course, because it's you it's not what one might expect yes you do talk about how one might approach the guitar but it's also this- poem about everything and you right no surprise beautifully and you have such great images in there and I am reminded that any time I go to the UK, I gotta. If I go to London, especially if I go to Ireland, anybody I talk to. Has this lovely, lovely way of speaking and- and I commend that that bed- that's really confirmed by watching the movies of guy retreat, yes I mean more seriously. Well I mean this very creative swearing. You ve got to be able to be able to my god where creative leave you live in England. Yes, just to swear and India punching inviting two beautiful, beautiful bunch input punching beauty, biting and head buzzing yeah.

Course. I've always loved your lyrics and the way they interconnecting the architecture of your lyrics. But listening to this it's so funny and you have these great just stick with me. You talk about the leaders of the minor cord and how evocative it can be, and then you talk about how it's like though the lantern on minors helmet in a deep cave, and I thought okay dammit this guy good. That's exactly what it is well. Thank you I was trying to treat this as a call to the work of cod philosophy. It might be flattery and a little bit to say it's philosophical, but I dont think Anybody would trust me to actually give them. music lesson, listen to the wire play, the guitar. I make the point that is important, important to keep the an idiot alive. I've within yourself particularly play rock n roll guitar. You don't want to know what every note is right. That's where some of the other cold happier

that's not unhappy accident site, you want to be able surprise, yourself sometimes surprised the people in a bad way by the horrible noise you're making. But the point: of this same bold narrative, what have you would call it? How to play the guitar, and why is to try and get people pass that innovation? to make a mistake that led them to tap the pleasure of as a song. Simply you can go and study music, formerly from page one of the theory book I'll. Take you very logically through it The point I make is that the piano is laid out like a diagram. It is a beautiful diagram and all the order of music and the chaos of music is there to glance. When you pick up a guitar, much as if you pick up any. blown instrument. It's it's not apparent the EU, is facing away from you for one thing. So Euro was looking at your hands initially and I'm

to just proves the point that when you begin in the cave, see which many many instructional books of my childhood did, because they were married to musical veering who you you Google to play that lovely ringing see cause you get that hands, and you immediately encounter the court it s and the use of F is nearly impossible for every novice and it is Truthfully, as I say in the end in the peace the reason why The world is not full of happy strolls, but in fact I mean what I say. I don't mean minstrels, as in the old horrible sense. I doesn't strolling players, yes, but is em and his eyes filled with sadistic dentists and and and they're, all of whom have encountered the cord of F on it through them. a passive. You know they thought this. Pain that was inflicted on my soul. They were going to inflict on other people's evermore

This is why I thought well to this. I thought Elvis is talking directly to me for two reasons: one I'm a narcissist, so I always think when I, into a great man of great woman, speak that their speaking directly to me. I was a fool site. Oh yes, I know it says: dedicated decoding, o Brien lovely sentiment, and then thing. Is I took up the guitar probably rather late for most people, I'd started as a team, a drummer and then ice decided when I got out to us Angeles to start my comedy career, I am in common by with theirs. I just want to make that clear. Yes, I have to tell you at the time because it does not have no? No, no, it's not apparent, but vital have warned you about being taller than me now. You always say that about its what I decided was: I need a soul instruments and you D learned the guitar so

to freedom guitar, which was basically a pawn shop here in Hollywood, and I purchased a nineteen seventies era, Yamaha Acoustic Qatar and I purchase them Millbay CORD book, your exactly the kind of cold book that I'm talking about in a year and I Finally, realized I dont want to learn. Theory. I dont understand theory. Theory scares me. What I want to do is play the songs that I love to hear and I remember very clearly starting see you- then go to F and then to gee. That's just the way. It goes a threefold trick that that will will yield many many songs. The problem is, as you point tat half as for a novice and even for if you're, not an office in a proper f required, you two contort your hand in a way which causes it to explode of course, easier to exclaim and

three other letters to that initial f. It reality does frequently followed by hurling the said instrument across the room dashing into pieces, which is, as I say, white through the world is full of frustrated. yet as a people that struggle get never get rather than, if now says, it seems like I'm giving the game away, I want to take people down the trials, lots of other things. I say I want to people take people the trail and in how to play the guitar. Why? If you sort of imagine yourself learning say, and you logically have defined as the next If you then allow yourself the luck, ray of learning the code of g. your immediately ahead of the game? Because if you switch to the key of G, the Kate of sea. Is that

concludes remounted. It means you already know it yeah. So you have that one of off in a for that the cause of death, is actually a very simple, very mindful of fingers. Probably this the list goes on and on the Alfred Board certainly the first positions, and at that point I would say most relatively nimble fingers people am Kennedy play that that sequence of cords mid haltingly, that's one. Why I recommend that use simply play the guitar for yourself, maybe watching any You know you could be watching something improving. You could be watching some dreadful

ST showed something much more sinister, all seedy, but whatever hypnotizing suggesting pornography at now. You suggested pornography idea you just there. I just have this. Nothing could be. I don't know what you're doing later. Nothing could be further, but the point being that want it and what you can have your neighbor come and talk to you, but it is boring person than you. Don't Vienna, really listen. You can do anything if you teach I'll. Just move your fingers until it becomes. natural and one of the things that I had to kind of think of again, as I was trying to get to put myself in the mind that I was in when I first night, assuming that it started in the cave g, and these first two positions were actually relatively simple. It was that mistake. The p make us to lift the whole him from the guitar in between the cord. You You don't need to do that. You you're not about to put it down, keep your hands

above the strings for a while. You notice that you your handled a slip across into that position. before? You know where you are you're playing music and thinking in writing. All of this is to find an amusing way of saying this is action, the easier than you thing. Yes and then you get to records and we get to the wonderful illumination of the minor in the case of G, the e minor that create The data darted out about a million songs based on that court sequence, after that, It's really up to you. It's up to you curiosity, go on to write a symphony and you might go back and learn all at musical theory. You might take up another instrument or you might be content with three causes, so many wonderful songs lie within the three or four. called range and add: seventh to color those cords gradually, your cod infantry, so to speak for just grow and

talk about this in when a guitar. Why you reference Hank Williams, one of the great american songwriters of all time: the calmness Shakespeare of the South and east experience everywhere, but that's what Shakespeare may disagree with that, whereas shakes, if we say Williams, is Shakespeare. Strew he's fine. It's true bodies these long colonies, not that bother now but Urania right, Riah fails only remind you think. He's from Hank Williams is for everybody. I mean you have to point out one of Height Williams. First national hits were Cultural Harass, yes, that it was cocoa how to some by Tony Bennet? Yes, so he was immediately put himself in. I. I've always argued when people talk about the great american song book. It is wonderful that we celebrate George and Coal Porter, but you can't will you Dixon? You can't leave out Hank William, so these are the other American

You can't leave, leave out jelly Roman does just dozens and dozens of songwriters that that that we should be grateful- they thought of that idea. Whatever it is Anglicans, so many and loud sounds based on their records and and I I chose deliberately Hank song because it. Such an emotional saw that I think you're from the outside, you would imagine it must be more complex, musically in to you know to render this feeling, but to strike a balance in writing the peace in them performing it between genuine structure, in which there is a little bit of genuine instruction and heartfelt feeling for sounds like cocoa hard, and you mentioned the fact that, I am clearly not american. So I've come to appreciate MRS

like hang Williams or for that matter, what he Dixon in countless others from America from the perspective of somebody who grew up on English, radio, yes musically and commit ITALY, because I think that I'll, be right in saying rate, Comedy remained recognisable in a form that my parents would have known. We just changes, personality whereas those same performers in America became television, yes entertainers, because television took hold in America much earlier. Yes, the people who I didn't know anything about. When I first came to America, I knew who Lucille Ball was. I knew who fill silversmith, because I really love sergeant Belka. I had never seen Jackie Gleason until a set foot in America my just in his name in a movie. List, but I didn't know how reveals you he was from the honeymoon as well the equivalence of those shows in England on the radio. Yes, so of course they

contained. All of sir reality of much use of sound effects. What american television comedy achieve would yardstick. They happen, you, sound effects, which is why I was attracted. Do writing the school in overcoming myself throughout this piece. In the spirit of the he radio comedy, really you how to play the guitar y hear your team people on this journey. There was very spying for me to do where, when you were talking about culture, heart and talking about the power of I wouldn't got my guitar its records and laid along and realized, I could have played the song three months into learning the guitar and felt justice, powerful and lovely, as I do playing and now all these years later, that's how simple it is hinder, playing, Hank Williams, the power is all there. I know I've never really understood. You know, like

Why I'm in the sum of the songs they teach you in that kind of play in a day book, which was very common. When I was a kid they they and very interesting songs. So they didn't. They didn't put you on a view. If it's a song that you really love, you have that em. a desire to find out what the court is that links those phrases together and little by little that becomes away to learn harmony? You know you are you start to hear if you have the kind of naturally for music you're gonna have eventually become curious that yield. I d play a song, I need and the coat the few cause that you do know well, render it and and that's when, maybe you have to consult some sort of dictionary of words and you little by little start peace than they elements of harmony which a piano train student of course is taken through, but very few people are taught to play,

called shapes on the piano right there immediately the independence of the hands, plain melody him on hand, baseline and the other cords, and than any other in the left hand, the same is playing the guitar. Will you a choice, retained learning scales, say you wanted to be eighty Van Hail and you could you you could practices it is in practice to you got as it is some of it that half the speed of some of the soldiers and he played, but you can only play that solo. At the end of all that study, It wouldn't led back to a full saw. My method is taking you from the song and then you you eventually, you're gonna know for yourself, whether in you'd, want to be that kind of personal cuts loosen, finds those other things higher up the neck of the guitar. That's all thrilling, that's a different study, its yeah. That's! Why don't go into without much? It was funny because I am reminded that John Lennon employ Macartney were steadfast about not wanting people

They didn't want to know what the hell they were doing. They very much clearly had this incredible facility. With music and they had their ten thousand hours of play. and they had the ambition and the creativity, but they didn't want to. down with some one and have them explained musical theory, and yet look at that. The body of work is there Oh, they approached it in the way you are talking about here and let these Michel, which has diminished codes in it, which would be much more common to the language of jazz musicians. They must have I no, maybe because the song had this french they may be. They had some music that time these other voicing of cod It's only one note different. You know in the cod and opens the door. It is collars by other people, get walking colors when the token music. At that I

try not to get. I did sort of try too late. the musical theory aspect of this, and in a way that funny said that didn't become indigestible for some it that simply what was curious to know what I fell about it because the last the title is the: why the plan, the guitar, like some people, just like you look good holding an instrument will say well, You know. You're the power play is hidden behind a piano, that's not gonna, go I'll make communicate with people too? If you have something that you have to blow through the phone or a trumpet. Then you can't sing. you may be costs money, can't really smile volume value play those instruments, concentrate! You can smile when you take it away from your mouth that, if you only of your singing soloists, so the guitar is. There is obviously it's the shell offs instrument. I you think I was shallow. While I am shallow button I used to be,

I think that I was shallow, because when I first I start on it, Stick. Then I got my First Electric Qatar which, for you it's out. There was a grudge, Tennessee and yeah thanks man, see one thousand nine hundred and sixty four Gretsch Tennessee, and I got for six hundred dollars at the time, which today would be worth a lot more and it's the it's the same guitar that George Harrison played on their second. U dot S tour, but I'll stop It goes too far in its it's really sad, but I started work on that Qatar and then I realized. I cared more about the look than the sound of the Electric Qatar, so I liked a big wretch and people would say what do you like the tone and say I really don't know, I just know that when I'm holding a big Eddie Cochrane grudge, I think it looks cool You know what you're talking about with tone, where I did I should I can really.

because of that I went to stage further than that when I was a lot younger than I imagine you airway, if you could afford to six hundred dollar guitar, my first a group fight. I form of my childhood best friend I like a man who was like a brother to me, Joe He listened and we had a group called the media's which consisted of one of his hitting a bit. ten with knitting needles and the other playing. What was it very impressive cod. A replica of american backer or sometimes I'd have a base model, oftener cut out of cardboard boxes glued together. Then we would hide a record play behind the curtain and we would pay Friday and the dreamers and my along to the sis was like preparation for life and jobs anyway, cause the time on the BBC. They didn't allied actually sing when I became a refreshing musician. So this my own lips. Think as you call it in America, was perfect preparation, it was all about making the cardboard

the flat cobbled replica of the guitar men, I hasten to add. I was only twenty six. When I was doing this is not a bit of Elizabeth. I was at the time you are fifty to you. I was fifty two while those two and you could afford a guitar, but you had gone Yahoo mail preferred with the copier and the code What guitar, because we're not that resilient to the kind of shape, throwing as we call it in I don't you call it that of the kind of shape throwing the one has to effect while playing the guitar. Any kind of posing with the guitar would immediately been the rather thin apiece cobbled that had been cut the fashion the neck now felt, really as if I was in command of the music, because I never any mistakes more giving do you can't you can't, because the music there's no strings coming from behind a yeah, but it is it confirms what you're saying about how good feels dollars. Kind of guitar remember buying a grudge,

I think my second tour of America, Baltic Wretch White Falcon. I thought, oh, my god I looked, all energy is the fringe jacket now looked just like Neil younger and the only did was feedback all the way through. The first show that I try to play it. Never I never played it again. I just Italy went back to the shop. I just couldn't get along with the white Falcon for anyone listening and could be a lot of you. You don't know it, Sir might Nesmith play, but when he was with case. If you go back to their home, monkeys, episodes, disease, giant, white, guitar kind, feelings and from a distance it's and it's got jeweled insects and it's gotta a big, can, and it's the most amazing things when you get us not like a thing with a big falconer like come in yeah holds the essential part of any exactly everything's. Fine, covering things should have a large falcon on always carry one times you walked in wooden large falcon and we we merely subdued it in a cage, but when

a closer look at those guitars there there. Actually very irish when you get close, it's like seeing a clown, but from like two inches away. It's horrifying, never good, never good, know the less, usually a a very Metallica's just coming up now. In fact, I have to leave, I think. Maybe I was attracted to it because my first electric guitar was of vocs and it wasn't a cool vote, either it was the name vocs attached to this less Polka Barton, Frank hassle shop, it's got a famous shop for young people were beetles fans will know that, yes m. You know that we'll know this name, it sort of lurks in the Beatles Mythology, Gazette swear, CIAO symbol is first guitar. I think when I live the finale seventies, I would Therein trial details on the rock, even the ones I couldn't afford they had this. Reckon backer that used to have a white cod stock. It between the strings- it

formerly are owned by George Harrison, and I would occasionally got the courage to ask play it, even though I couldn't afford it and it will disappear as if it were bought by people, and I think in the end, I got good enough on the guitar to recognise that it was really horrible. Guitar. Reckon backer, but it was the reason why Georgia got rid of it. It was just not a good one, just seizing it sure you think it did belong to you all. I think it probably did but poverty with as it in our frank, take this back and I both Instead, I bought this box freaks Those reasons had faint go fittings. Yes, the look way to turn the sounded. Absolutely horrible and you know I struggled on that for a number of years. Until I found a combination of what you up, clip on pick up and with an acoustic a child actually sounded funky them. Then actual electric guitar ended up. I what's a very hard to do. You really know you ve made it when you can

namely artist and name their guitar, and the two go together. It's Lenin reckon Bachar and its macartney oftener, and it sooner Brian Jones in that teardrop that White Teardrop Vocs vocs and you and Pendergast master like you just guitar Whenever I see anybody with that guitar What are you doing with all this Casella's? I that's very nice of you to say, but I think I have to give credit I was playing. I graduated to attack. Castor, had a friend a workforce, a friend a showroom and managed to get me a little bit count on on offender and I played a brand new found a for a long while, which was again not a very good job, and I will this job master in a second hand shop? in furniture varnish. It was very unattractive in its original appearance, had seen a guitar player from there

from Cincinnati Ohio called Danny Adler, whose playing at a group in at that time. He kind of he was he impressed me because he could play the guitar popped from clean up woman Betty Right record, my little Beaver guitar player from Miami. And I never heard anybody play that kind of funny, Conor rhythm, guitars, so well in person, and I thought that's a bit of a different kind of sounding thing: it's gotta, so Degraded. Him really is a person that I saw foot play at first. I think you'd get few people who would lay claim to that guitar other than May Tom. The lane of television played one. I know that fence put out several models name for for artists longer. They got around to make real king, my one I mean it was only about ten or twelve years ago, yet they made a brief, a small run that I think really. The mistake that they made was to recreate my guitar. With its original. Can I say, shit brown.

furniture sounded actually ready, gonna, look like hell, you know, and I dont really see any young kids what I really needed. Guitars go. Maybe look cool! Think I'll have one that looks like the color of us roadkill. You know they are exactly. I want a fecal talk eyebrows, what's gonna make me I hit, but the girls I boys, always David, you use Amazon Brands actually is exporting its kind of not to debate is ubiquitous, it's everywhere with our delivery straight to your door. It's private the way you shop. There really has yeah award winning series that dare to be different, also the way that your entertained do Amazon shows you watch, prime. I do yeah it goes so far as to say prime changes, everything when you think it s statement. I agree. I would say you're. Gonna go on a trip. Ok you're rushed to the airport.

You suddenly realises you're getting on the playing your back, get on the plane. I didn't pack, my sleep mask sleep Maskew S, little hello, Kitty S living without I can't sleep without it and you gotta do something guess what you order. It from the airport or on a lay over and that mask is gonna, be at your hotel when you get there and actually is the best yeah say you want to watch a movie okay and you signed up for every streaming service. You probably have a lot of em, but it's not for some reason, have your favorite movie, which is what your favorite movie any Harry, Potter's yeah. Ok, they dont have. They have all the Harry Potter on those streaming services, but not the one you really line, which is Harry Potter and the golden goose. Well, guess what you get prime watch that show I mean I'm changes everything. I say it again. What do you think you think prime changes everything it honestly does yeah said changes everything. What does prime changes. Everything very good. I agree Prime continues to

in the status quo, that's what it does best. Prime changes What do I say? You said prime changes, everything listening to this audible, but that she made precise, lovely to listen to you. Have this great melodic speaking voice. So it's very seductive lens and several of them it has been pointed out. Yes, several of them yeah. This was it out to me Scott share to produce more d, the Oda, book version of my memoirs, faithful, amazing disappearing. and when I began talking, I was the first couple of chapters were set in Liverpool and when I start to talk about livable, I start to sound lie: ass, a mother or little basil, and then did the day I was recording I ass it were. I had to say well, I was born in a street that my first

home when I was a child with lady was street that him had it for the blue plaques that that commemorates famous people that lived in that street now this was a very modest street. We lived in a basement of a boarding house if, by this point the neighborhood have gone to hell, moved and there's the clue. But well some point. Sir Edward L guarded lived probably when these house were in debt headed to one family living on a fourth full story. Building not broken down into little bed sits and I started. speak like this. I said on that morning I got up at the house. Milk slope came round park to the moorish Minor, I certainly do not send a David Nathan. I know how to stop doing. It happened to me a few times I get on a microphone

something comes over me. I my wife Diana and I did M season where we play damn cotton. Cats. Repeat the cat day that I was blank. Pete's father had a cold at it When I spoke on the microphone, it is pretty my voice high hyaena, I sought it has started to speak like David PETE his way out. Can you gonna guardian, get my ring this fine? They loved nobody's, going to stop and then, when I went back like a month later to do the next episode, I couldn't do the voice right, I mean it was I'm not clearly. Anybody has ever seen me act knows that something that I do border and acting. Not. enough to the border, but they border on acting in over then something happens. When I start to read things that have written down, I find I can hear my voice changing in in the headphones

it's just the excitement of what I'm talking about Europe idea of hidden the guitar like I have sort of I'm seeing John Lennon stance on Zan it. So I start to speak like the ball. The parts in a voice that really convince Melville GINO. People don't think that its insincere, because I I change my voice a little bit. I my assumption was that you were a sociopath. Well then, you may ass. Well, you had no corporates. I don't have any cool personality. What you just? Don't? Don't just a and you just where were you aware? No new economy ready will end the rattle of hatred. Yeah then, obviously, is apparent from the torture that I'd like to kill people through in this. Now it's really it s really fantastic and I ve learned so much and I'm so. Fan of yours than I thought. Well, I'm not going to really pick up anything new about Mr Castello here, and then I find out that you always wanted to be a songwriter first and now performer, which

believe I didn't know because I think every youngster comes out at thinking I wanna, be the rock and roll God. I want to be the one on stage with the guitar. It the surprise me that you came at it thinking I want to be a songwriter, and then it led to this, I think, is explained by by two things. One of them is from very very early experience of music as as a child watching knowing that my mother soul records, and I knew that one of the things that she had to do in those days was to build recommend more than one version of a song people to think in terms of covers. They thought, in terms of interpretations of songs, so, if you were gonna, be good at selling records you needed to know the difference turn recommending fry

nature or victim mounds rendition of the song which not just down to whether that person even liked it people would quite often come in and sing to my mother in the shop. She told me by the Do you have this undergo the number and they wouldn't know any of the words they wouldn't know the title of the song, and they were just sing, the melody of something and she would have to try and decode it and then recommend rendition you can so to see that my first impression was that the songwriter is very important in year after member just old enough that I just old enough. That's him We think that kind of that letter old, not any old old enough. Yes, that the Beatles, obviously really- and we talk about Hank Williams, overseen the fifties. I didn't know how Williams songs very well when I was that young. The beetle really change that that the whole. his business.

Because they wrote their songs and- and it was very unusual for performers to write their own sons who, certainly in English, music, there There were fewer of those and then it became the norm, so the two things were going along parallel, my my observation of music, my knowledge of my families, velvet Museum of mothers in we're at what you call here record retail, my father singing on array, Dan spanned and again- bringing home sheet music. The sheet music sort it made me feel. Well. Somebody was responsible for writing this song. I just hear a song on the radio and go oh Jimmy Bobby, whoever that is singing that up. I kind of new lady didn't make it up until John Paul came along, and then we all knew that they were writing those songs and they sort of stood out from the crowd. That's why I love Ok, it's while about back right, so much Those songs were incredibly popular in England,

but quite often say he is the new but backer axon. You know they wouldn't necessarily always say the name of the artist singing at first. the curious nature of record releases and end between American England was it There was a little bit of time when the local act could have a hit with the new american song. So you Billy J Kramer, Dakota Singing wishing and hoping, and then they would the american version which the summary to seem like an important Qana guy if he could have like to it's in the job but the same title somewhere along the way. Even when I started to play the instrument myself, I was two particularly the band now, a group that has three of the greatest thing. As ever, the guy the Red, the songs didn't thing. That's right, Robbie didn't say

he sang about army. But he didn't really feature is illegal class. Right NOS two experiences of of really was being very aware that the songs were created by somebody and getting to know the names of those songwriters in the fact that many of them had fame. That I'm cases was superior to of the people who sang that songs, stressing if I always wondered this. There was something about the alchemy of the band that I know Robbie wrote the songs, but clearly he was drawn into is drawing on there's something with that group that he was drawing on. It was some kind of yeah. I think that's firm and I'm sure you know incredible thing to have not just live arms doubtful memory a lark and saw the up that to have retained coin and Richard manuals Voices to imagine melodies for the fact that they also wrote at that time. In the earlier days they also wrote melodies some of as beautiful sounds the band ever recorded were

in a wheels on file, is, has ever done, come out they, and yet his rage is a rich man, normality with Bob Dylan. So I mean All of this seems very skill. Maybe the people but. that's the way. I learnt it because my my father came from jazz and therefore the sun rises of the previous generations. The music by my grandfather We have heard when it came to America in the twenties, the songs, of exact have been handed down to us through through the hands of jazz musicians and fight constantly reinvented. That made some writers seemed like very important fellows, and that would be something that you want to get into that tradition, if not that business and nobody could guess you just riding something in your bedroom, whether you're gonna get heard much less You never had a hit record or any such nonsense. You know you thinking that and that's not what I'm trying to propose. This piece is that right, as you might imagine, do you dream, but you're not gonna, get to your riches. You prefer

wouldn't go into music now trying to get rich. I mean I can speak about comedy. I can't speak the way. Speak about music, but I can speak about so many young people. Reproach me over the years- and they said I want to do what you do, I want to be famous and I think you just lost me because I swear to God when I got involved in all of this? There was always a dream that I might become known person doing it and would not be kind of fun. But what can first was the enthusiasm and desire a napkin from watching everything from Monty Python, old Jack penny too W C fields. The marks brothers too works the same way in comedy and music. I think they're very similar. It's a lot about rhythm in notes and timing, but it starts with I've got to know this and what you describe really beautifully in this audio book. As you talk about

Why are you had a guitar? This old beat up worthless spanish guitar, but you never touched it and then I think if your parents had hired professor to combine, teach you the guitar it. not have gone well. What happened? What You heard this one song by Fleetwood. Mac your green song many a man of the world, and you saw it got to you and I know what you're talking about, because I know that song and it fit this- would be the song the EU would hear that would make you think I've got to get inside that tune. Somehow it kills me. I'm gonna learn how to play it. Should he guitar over there on the wall. It's a very odd thing that happened about that, because I I came to understand when I got older and I got a little more fluid with with one instrument, that. Obviously I not having any brothers and sisters I only have my own experience apart from forming this, this group of Vienna,

subterfuge with my friend I never really understood that I had any kind of gift of of any of the music until I was much older, so I wasn't attracted to learning any of the three called songs, I did actually believe it or not taken school guitar lessons for about three weeks and could not get along with the other. We'll tablet sure he s here, which is a kind of way of noting the fingering of the guitar. I found that even more confusing than actual rotated music and could not. It was like on a trillion moustache and then the in the mirror and at eleven there's been unusual that I had that mustache in the first place, I really was. I just could not get to grips with it and so back in the corner. It went until I was thirteen or fourteen would have a year whatever age I was fourteen. I think, when the came out. I was in my ear at school and

Somebody and probably in another year had that call change, is written now include symbols, and it really was like said the story several times, but it is really true. It was almost like ivy in this picture of dinosaurs in her underwear, I know it sounds like something positive about it being her. If you play these, if you put your fingers on the guitar, this sound will come out and you can do and the words were written out with the cold shapes writ drawn, little boxes with where the fingers, when an age studied inside and studied. I realize now that the song is actually ready, complicated, a very old song to pick as a novice one. So writing this piece. I had to almost think my way back to what it would have felt like. If I had been picked up. tat. No one could then assent and I think I had made that attempt

the toys and literally gone through the sea to F roadblock and just- This is not for me. Maybe I can laser you phony unless something instead, from a line of ETA give had just as much success. I'm not so sure we're sorry, but I guess I kept this quiet more that, but am I come from a lie, come from two generations of brass players, so that was: start of it and that that gave me quite a common, and then I realized I learned the cords of man of the world. Actually really didn't leave me in the analogy of learning flashy guitar sallow. You just learn that one salary, you dont know any other songs or any other solos. I then humble myself to go back and go through the rudiments, but it was at that moment that I stumbled on this issue from a different place out

able to play more sites. May one song got you in the door and asked really all I'm trying to do this pieces. I mean I'm not on some mission to flood the world with mountains, the caterpillar! That's a lot of competition. For me, I'm still at the moment we have enough. We have lots of extra photoplays. I try to get the gigs, but but I do I I've tried to say it because at the end of it. All the other reasons why you play that you play to give praise to to lament two to seduce You know you have to acknowledge some of their nefarious reasons why one might play instruments just to gain attention legs and now she hasn't that's part of it. Holding a guitar is great. If you have a big snowslide, May PETE Townsend pointed out having I get on yards distracts from having a large knows what losses curious. What you think of the fact that Famously there's this stories of the lads in Liverpool wanting to know what the b seven was yo, and

no one knew how to make a b seven and so on. I think you know George and Paul heard is a bloke. ass town. If we take this person and no less than that bus Kyle show us how to make a b seven and he did Then they had that magical corps that you need to play pretty much. Every Elvis song from the Sun session era you ve, gotta, have seven, and so it was a quest. It's like that. broken creatures, trying to find logical ring baby, to find the b seven you describe in her what play guitar and why? How we now live in this era, and I'm familiar with it, because I've discovered it didn't exist when I was there in the guitar, but we now this area, where I like any song of any of your albums, and I

plug it into an app called codified is is not an end for court. If I am not getting paid and they will play the song, your song and they'll show all the cords in time. everything is right at our fingertips, but some might get lost. There's no struggle basis and also the feeling, and there is something really I mean- I'm not say I was better in the old days, but People will be familiar and probably still familiar if they, if they frequent their local record emporium. You know those places where there is still a record shop, its curated in some way, people say it now: not that but that one you need that one, that that was the process to of learning somebody to point you in the way, in the same way as the Beatles talk about somebody, last time that New B, seven that liberated them to play those Elvis songs,

think of something to that. I think the instantaneous availability doesn't come with it. Come understanding it. It's like you're too vague and reading the possible causes of that to take on the internet without a clue five medical doctor. Next, you, twenty minutes later you go to Brian Schumer IQ or lose your luggage going to drop off some whatever it is. You can convince yourself of that with unqualified information. We don't even want to go into how bad I'm qualified information can be in the world, but in terms of simply playing music. It does follow that, just because everything is available. everything of value is understood, yes, and and under the very rarity of music, when I feel fortune is in a way, although it felt frustrating of even wrote, songs about it that The June in the radio, at certain times of the day- and we do here the songs- and I wanted to hear it- did make

those moments when that record came on really stick with me and that instant availability of it isn't necessarily preferable because it makes you block about how easy that's. That's all I'm trying to say, I'm not trying to say I know better than somebody much more skilled, the Roma, methodical ways. One could learn and I didn't set out to really right and in rational manual, so much as ways and not to prevent So from the halving the pleasure of playing mood, poorly justice, I in the sense of a child that you without any embarrassment without caution, Youtube jump off things, you shouldn't jump off when you were a kid and then you learn bed allowing us by my ankle, as I do that, but you enjoy, jumping off it when you were a kid the thing is than and that's what I'm trying to so to remind myself as much as anything even the age. I am now that this was seen. Oh, I recorded this during the period where we couldn't travel around so much

I've done a lot of work in that time has made. I dont think we counted them up between my produces surpassing Teresa myself. I think we ve worked on eleven records worth of music. That includes re mixing Vienna Back cattle of that that have come out in the interim we have to. records it are prepared for release next year and I think that was a reaction to not being able to go out and do my regular job, which is travelling around and plan the songs that I've gathered gather over forty five years, maybe, but sponsors to this interlude seem to be near choices would listening to like echo, is unreliable, echoes at withdrawing and kind of sort of Getting this way face kind of Moby knows it coming out singing songs about isolation that are not as good as John Lennon isolation. Hunters, nearly every song written about isolation, they all say well,

in a box that we didn't choose to be in right. It's kicked the fuckin way out here with whatever it is. We do let's be alive to the two. What we're doing sound, I feel like but he listens to my daft ramble. I hope they enjoy? Nicholas aspects of it that I relate that. In that light, I read: did want to learn to play come she will continue, Oh calais problem them. I thought maybe I could write a song about another girl like defendant, minor cords and then a discover that that's on such a major Kate. I made all these things. Will you miss hearing only a mistake, that you make along the way am arose, it just as much as book. Learning I think it's true every subject really I've, never yet used algebra in real life. still studied at a time. I think sometimes you talk things to teach

learn, abused, algebra several times during the sooner you have you yeah, I'm I my minded and it didn't show no my mind works and so many levels of one of us. You couldn't believe it. You know I I I would I have to ask what you find very unusual experience that you wrote corps? songs with Paul Mccartney and I've thought. How did you not step outside yourself and that moment and think of the boy in London, Liverpool, yourself, into this rock and now you're with him, were you able to detach all of that and just get down to business and right to do the work? I actually was. I I thought that I've been around pole enough and I've seen D. You know it is a balance that I've seen quite eminent people completely lose their minds in his cup in his company briefly,

had to remind me of every day that I went to work to sit opposite him like just as we are sitting here only with two guitars and unknown, a couple, a note books that he hadn't hide a nine year old common rights onto them. You know he didn't hire me in that sense, bad and invited it invited meant whatever age I was thirty, three or four or something maybe was almost caught him. Remember me, no, I was posts to be there. At that moment, I wasn't stepping into anybody shoes that would be, and That is often, I think, the strain thing when there's a level of fame the programme few of us can I can imagine that people lot of dreams about those those people and I obviously teach it arab. I had briefly had one of those beetle

eggs. When I was eight or nine now really elastic hats moulded like hell. I also worked in a country where you still have that in war and around now know. Well I mean I've. I think I wore it wants and realize it was. It was such a hideous. Look here. Look like I didn't even know this three stooges were, but I like MA am I'm as it now they lie. I look my alighted. No there's no is the Beatles before the b it here and there you know, but the same way as when I work for those without and when I was writing my first record. I was still working in a day job I could get cheap, lipstick. mascara. Either they had accompanied story. You could get the seconds it never to me to put it on. You know join the glamour era. Here I was work in the back end of glam era. It just this face where both parties, you know it just done work it just doesn't work in. It was sort of like this

the kind of skin light with a regime that we just look awful yes and it just never occurred to me too. visualize myself in that that kind of fantasy way, so I think again It's probably some the do with the fact that I saw workaday making music could beef. my father's experience and then I had all the same kind of kid teenage magic of light. The first time I saw Marvin Gaye on television, all the Supreme Siena like they came over and that was already stated, go dedicated to motown you call. My we legal PAMELA and it was just like. Oh yes, we can have like four lumpy lies from Bolton in bathing, suits, are weak, have Stevie wonder yet, like another world exists right now about and that keeps happening, so I very very fortunate in the people that I have worked with. I mean this week after

I say this because I think you will appreciate that you mention Paul who at that was most wonderful thing. We wrote some good sounds recorded them together, wish that Pablo thrilling to sit in her to write a song withal Macartney go to stairs from his writing room into a studio and harmonise together out. Ok, that was like one of the most and those are by far the best versions of those songs, mutton. I would risk of offending embedded in the versions he regarded Adam. That innovations I recorded of the ones that I cut like two days ago, the capital cities a mile from here with a thirty peace orchestra, algorithm section cut To sum up, I would bet backtrack. Oh my god, with bird in the studio here now you know cut the arithmetic. I mean he bought my missing his he ninety three, this year and body the day, I was completely exhausted from the the entire

city of singing. Those songs. Try to do my best singing live in the booth, with the thirty, these extra being conducted by events Mendoza the ringer, incredible rhythm section and watching but stand up at the board and they go past sixty want we ve gotta get that downplayed others do not sing in the melody right at bath. Twelve Jesus, you know, and by the end of the day, we have these two beautiful songs were kind of issue, CS as part of the package. frightened twenty one years since, pending from every came out and out of them everything I have wanted to base songwriter is origin. Being the lyricists for Tibet, backer axons realized this level, yes like at the highest possible level with the group with musicians who attend we committed to the job in hand at the end of the day when he came in to thank them sit up and gave him a standing ovation while made that

about his emotional and experiences. I've had a studio, Yad and, and I've had a lot of really much magical things, but you know I do feel fortunate that some of the things that I've dreamed of this funny question this proposed by journalists. Quite a lot want with the twenty on twenty two year old. You that say say the person that did this, that in weed location, that the sum you betrayed or old- oh no, you didn't keeps a part of the pact and ongoing work I could never have imagined most of the things that have happened to me. And many of the unusual things are sort of they're, not a side issue fifteen songs were born Macartney, maybe as many thirty songs written revert back right. You know, half a dozen cells written without to summon the numerous other people have collaborated with is not the main part of

I shall put the songwriter. That's hundreds sounds like a road on my own and play. in shows to this day I am opening you know I tore next week. That's I wanted to do all along, but never I seen mate. Writing these peace. I dont know if anybody can learn to play there. far from listening to me job, but they could, I can may be taken make people laugh. the fear they might have about not demean. Yes, because I've just been incredibly food. the early things have unfolded from getting past that court of F. Yes, Yes, when I really feel about this, how to play the guitar and why is it also has nothing to do with plain the guitar, which is really lovely. It's nice, it's an hour and a half. Listen, it's also very funny. I can tell that part of you, wanted to be a good show comedian or you wanted It does sound effects. You wanted to play your doing.

You're philosophies coming out and the journeys coming out which go back do any journalists, it says what would be twenty year old, Elvis Costello. Think about what the you know, fifty year old office Castello, it's a journey. You'd have no idea what they were talking about the twenty year old. We ain't look. What was I thinking when I bought that sure those shoes yeah I got, we will have that moment and I'm no different than that. Of course, there's something inherently ridiculous about play rock and roll in a great way, thus, as they have keep the any eighty eight and is no accident that the Beatles were on policy. The label that on which these cells, Odin the dunes recorded. I'm sure they were delighted to be an issue with George more towards Martin was able in shows that issue is to produce Regos by male again, you know it's like somebody, I just a dog. Who is the less well known of the goods, could be to sell US famous movie actor that as

at the beginning. You know the right a comedy is very Port and part of just the ritual of living in England in those days because we didn't have twenty four hour: Rock n roll radio since Sunday afternoons you would. that would be shows. I ran the horn well round the whole there's a great name for English. That explains english comedy right there. The man is called Kenneth Home round the horn suggest voyage. The word horn itself, is inherently Dublin pondering united. So it's taken much further than that. The carriages it appeared in and around the horn included an outrageously gay couple, How are you know in our Kane Gay Slang and they said the most unbelievable things in the nineteen sixties when Homer sexuality was illegal, women was illegal. Yeah unit was illegal to be gay, though so that, with the subversive element of them, infiltrated mainstream british comedy and this guy

straight man to it, even though his name was horn, is inherently a joke right. There say everybody in the face part in that That is a lot of english comedy is what my father used to call Bum barbellion PO. That Hopes are essentially something do had gone to the toilet verbally, the size of it or how euphonious it is, and the pound which is the chamber parts have anything to do with bodily function, is an enormous described. Thirty. Two years of my comedy career I wanted, and speaking of comedy of you did something for me. You cry what remember this for years and years ago, Eureka The peace for us which fascism wobbles around the internet in people bring it up to me all the time. A quick comic Sketch and you were so funny in it you're sitting there very playing it very straight. play you Alison, and I urge

people to look this up because you are so goddamn funny in this. I play new Alison and I'm playing it so so softly. I'm looking your eyes I remember how hard this was to shoot, because I didn't think could play the song to you. But I did and I'm playing an opening, it very softly new listening and it just right, tiny reach over with. Why our cutters. You start cutting to fix. I know, there's a pause, I look at you and you look at me and I start to about to go. strong again and you reached over and cut master. Please look at that? It is it's it's very hard to do. That kind of thing I mean it. I don't know, I think it s like the marks bothers. You mentioned the MOSS Rodya you know and the Beatles having that legend of ten thousand hours over there to be a welcome the recent by this could walk up that that copper,

walk up to somebody pulled a tie out pushes and caught his eye that's years being avoidable, to do that. If you ever try to cut somebody's tie off, it is not easy. It's not and they get angry the guy we ran the neck, and then you ve got an angry red. Faced us coming out. You really. The only thing to do then is killed them all and you have to- and I have done it well look up, clip place people because you are a vaudevillian. In that moment, your timing was absolutely fantastic and net clip keeps coming back as some of peoples thirty years of me doing late night, comedy and people still say to me when you too, to play Alison Fr Elvis Costello and he cut the strings and your guitar and how quietly and with dignity. You do. It It's one of my favorite things: I'm going a wrap this up, but this is an unequivocal joy for me: to get to talk to you, you're you're, just one of my all time, favorite, artists,

and you're so thoughtful about everything that you have done and the complexity of at all. I think it comes off beautifully in how to play the guitar and why and I was so excited today- I've never done this, but I brought nineteen. Forty six I became. I see it, yeah yeah! You can it's it's right here, you you don't have to stronger anything when I don't like to strongly, but I got it through outlay. I have an old Martin guitar, which is my prize possession its no metal in the neck because the? U S, embargoed metal during world war. Two and this from what year. Forty six, I just I want that in the studio to absorb the magic

in ways tat just talk to you. Look at the map dad energy issue, the baby. I tell you, then you pain rainbow. You blew urge. You been spend large in you nah dubious listenin to the dark side of the moon. You don't, talk to know tat.

So our gave me seeing you to give is really to say style to fatten brandy style. Is this? Let's go mad tramp? I can show you the prettiest around and see what's wrong, do you cause? You blew sweet, you paint rainbow over. You blew pain, re, ok,

Well, this is the happiest I've been in memory. John Sebastian, John. Sebastian. I love that man not in any way. I am a great song rises in America. There's another one and the great American some books should contain the man that road do you believe in magic. Yes, and she's. Still a mystery and six o clock. Can many many others you didn't have to do it and that beautiful song just so easy, the love and such a wonderful, wonderful voice? Will you Somehow did that and then made it about someone else, which is a very gracious erode the song about their line about outside of the men. I put that one end as a new improved on it. You didn't caught the strings off with a cheers. While I was doing guess why this is of people find it was funny. When are you me from singing. If I had stopped, you from seeing in playing people would kill me. of his Costello, true honor, to be in your presence how to pay the guitar, and why, if you have no interest in the guitar. Listen to

it's an hour and a half of your time absolutely lovely funny sweet evocative poetic, everything. We need right now, so check it out. Es. Thank you so much. Thank you, my friend thank you I'll go down in its time for another review at the review. I love it when you are authoritative, fear that either are, I think, he's some you gave him do it. These are all real five star views from fans about your podcast. If you out there, like to leave us serve you just gotta apple pie, gas and please re interview, five stars, the first review. Comes from Sri who writes swedish. You just ask people to leave, give us five stars. We are not going to eat a one star, the enemy. We should isn't that more honest, no

before I only want to yeah it's probably people. I know I can partly people, I'm your ladyship family. You hey, that's my brother, Neil. I think some time we should read of one star now, you you will spiral that would be a disaster is now and if everyone listening to this cousin leaves a one star of you and your ratings just oh, I see I refused was only listen to five stars, great and plus their cash prizes. If you leave five stars of previous was not true right. That was my we're. Ok Syria comes from Austria, who writes question hi guys this first line Matt. I hope you re. this well three a match on paternity leave? Is it's called in the business glad I saw Collins latest pose on Instagram, with David, his teeth like exe, Finally, why does he have fake teeth thanks Sharia law? Do you have any teeth or do I have any teeth you? What are fake teeth teeth that are not real?

I don't what that is when weighing my aghast four veneer zinnia, oh god, oh Jesus, yeah. I've got some vineyards in May and I really want you run teeth all fucked up. Yes, thank you. I grew up. Thank you. I grew up in Boston Massachusetts in the seventies regular, I got my face punched in so oh, yes, I got engineers but they're, not big vague and they have been fake. Shoppers may just stay there. Just on this front right here, like the forty the front, haven't. I saw you veneer on and when you think David, so let s think they're great there aren t we are really cause you gotta knocked out. Now I didn't get them knocked. Or do you really think that people beat me? I was not. One shy was beaten up once in nineteen eighty one. We want you to get into that Boston. North end, not important smashed they smash, my nose What did the doctors say about?

knows my mother came to the emergency room. He said is my son's knows. Ok, he said. Ok, it's a bad bones! He was british option if you're out their doktor constable, never forget that anyway, anyone sing to this? Can imagine why someone in the north end would want to beat the shit out of me was a couple of guys to be honest with you actually was an entire village while he was getting bigger, they called my mother at work and exalted. Your son was attacked by a mob and her reaction was like, while that makes you know it's not because of that, but you know I grew up in that era, where you drank, we had this called like Tsar acts, that was pure sugar. I mean it was it terrible time, the seventies kids. I know a lot of youngsters out there. Listen just glad you didn't go up in the seventies you know, during the hostage crisis, I nash my teeth, a lot,

I'm doing a card or presidency in general, compensated for his failure. Our policies by chewing alot of sugar, cubes and so yeah. I had some eminent person I have that's a of the cosmic work? A man can have done for me to have just a little bit porcelain veneer on the front teeth, that's fine! I also take very good care of my teeth, which your name Sharia, Sharia. Yet Sri. I resent end application that my teeth are nice and white. because they are person vineyards. Yes, I'm sure that's eighty percent of battle, but I also brush regularly. I also floss carefully and use their yes, rinsing bombs, creams and ointments his fascinating podcasting. This is gripping. I think we do

crack the riddle Sri by asking a very personal and I think, rude question. I gave you and you know I give you an honest answer, but also We found out that I was savagely beaten Seventys in the north end by if people who set of finally our next year comes going to guides who writes you, are a joy and delight just into the latest episode where you ponder products to endorse like Clooney and his tequila, a wine where or Rosa line was mentioned, what, if you create a fairly wine cooler, that was not rose, a pink but Conan Pompadour Orange I, for one would be by the case any who Have you come in and I get so happy when I see there's a new podcast episode to listen to. Let me know when the cocoa Zay is ready to buy Exo Ex O, Shannon causation it s so Exo gossip girl, Shannon. You know- who would love this? Is my manager, Gavin Pole, constantly begging me. Why aren't

doing some kind of big product integration. Yeah, that's going to make him a billion air and and he really was fastened with you- switch Clooney cloning this too killer, you know he and Randy Garber may so the company four billion dollars- and I think right- that's George Clooney. Nobody, like that's a very, very handsome movie star and people emulate. What he's doing does not a guy damn person in America whose, like how do I have that Conan MAGIC with the Lady Santa CNN. Now Shannon that's very nice of you, but I oh god, no one when these saddle up to the bar says what is Conan O drink, that's the drink for me or, what's he wearing I've, got where a carnival Brian suit that says

this is a man of Means prisoner, said nothing now, fizzy wine, cooler, probably kind of works yet again in or so an orange and and she had a pitch for the cocoa once Cocos ay. I like Alan Pompadour Lycos goes out, but I just I honestly don't see- and this is not me being hard on myself. This is me being completely honest. I don't see any one linking me to a product that, meant for socializing having dress. You know I mean I don't know those guys say: let's get to cocoa Zay seriously, so I think it's gonna be funny. I think people do it not to be like cool but to be funny like hey I've, a Cook Hosanna Orange Drink drink shows up like that's funny. I We know that people buy liquor, because it's funny I may I don't think so, and so I think like a bubble, gum cigarette

you know what about like a pompadour wig for Halloween, just One time when seasonal thing, you're gonna make that much money you may go four dollars, and Gavin will not be happy. The best idea I've heard is a hare product. Yes, like upon aid or something a Conan. Pomade yeah yeah that I mean, but then again I think had been sticking with this hair style that I came up with like him, ease, because I realized my hair could do it and that's the only reason I did it. No one's ever emulated it. No one's ever said. You know Jennifer interesting people wanted the Rachel you now. George Clooney had that Caesar do whatever he had on e r and everybody wanted it. No one I've been sticking with this for, like thirty five years, not one person has ever said get me. Some of that can be no one's ever gone to a barber and said, give me a Conan. Yet no one now,

person. So why is anyone gonna buy the Conan pomade they're? Not there's not one I can think of an I implore, my listeners, if you think, there's a product lines up with me, yeah pitch it maybe I'll even catch in, but I wanted to something realistic. Now Joe go good to see. You know now k like laughing furniture. no? No one wants to sit like call out the furniture b. I don't know I was thinking about Lenny cravats. He just didn't thing with. I think Creighton Barrel ease Lenny, Crabville, coolies cool. He is so cool I'll buy anything Lenny cravats tells me to buy yeah, carry monks, sighing and extreme Lenny Crowley, Lenny Cravat Smites enter here, that's rain. I wonder I want the carbon monoxide detector, Lenny Cravats, designed no, I want one. That's made that approved. by OSHA up places. Son scream, Sunscreen has been pitched, but again

Don't think anybody wants to look like me. I'm freckled there's a lot of people. You have your complexion who are like what is the best son? action and then, if they see your face on a bottle Bobby, I must be real good stuff. He's still still alive, I don't know we ve got a crack this, because I do want to product it's just selling out on shells and the monies is Rowan and am I gonna get a badly Yang unaware a yachting cap and just be an incredible douche bag. Just drive around and be like. The monies is poor noon from the sun screen. The PA made in the Conan say Jose Jose and I want to be really obnoxious about it. Just constantly be dropping. You have no idea how much money coming in from this and guess what it doesn't even prevent cancer. We did something so just doesn't even function properly.

Is publicly. Why shouldn't? I forgot that this was a pike. I thought we were just talking in a car. Sometimes I forget and if I do come out with us, On screen, I do promised settled, provide some protection wow. really selling cancer than Where's the SBS may be inaccurate, but by the time they tracked down I'll be out of the country. I'll say it's a fifty when it's like a fifteen, you know why, but it'll smell like coconuts

Thank you to all our of yours today and, if you'd like to leave us air of you, please gotta apple pie, gas and re interview, five stars. We might just read your view on the air Conan O Brien needs a friend with Conan O Brien Zone AM of Cecial and MAC Goarly, produced by me, mad goarly executive produced by Adam Saxon, Joanna Solitaire, off and Jeff Ross at team, cocoa and Colony Anderson and Cody Fisher. At your worth theme song by the White Stripes incidental music, by Jimmy the Vienna taken away, Jimmy our supervising producers, errand layer and our associate talent, producers, Jennifer samples engineering by will beckon talent booking by Polish Avis, junior Battista and brick com. You can read and review the show and apple podcast, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Gotta question for Conan call the team cocoa Hotline at three two three four five one, two eight to one and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode and if you haven't already, please subscribed Conan o Brien needs a friend on have applied, casts stature or wherever fine bog casts are down. This episode was produced in edited by Meet Brett Morris.

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