My name is Michael Obama, change and I know well the colony, no brains. I welcome the fence air and welcome to come.

O Brien needs a friend I we are well into our third season already yeah and having a lot of fun, really enjoying the guess so far very excited about today. As always, I'm joined by Saddam assessing how are you, son and I'm doing very well very good, and Mr Mann Goarly the pretty sir. You do a fantastic job and I salute you, hey thanks. I salute you back both of you pretty chipper way to start thinks curious things way. I have a question which is a lot of people are wondering you know how are people staying safe right now and and had even make a pie cast and in a safe way. I would like to emphasise that soon and I are in the same room, but we have some distance between us. Maybe you could couple of tired. I waiting closer. But all the guests are coming to us via zoom and mad. I dont I'm seeing you in person in a long time. You are well ensconced in your lovely home

you communicate virtually with us yet so, where everyone's world doing this as safely as we can, but it still begs the question: are people being safe outside of this zone right? I wore a mask a lot before covert yet for night, prowling hooking around and let's go back there. What prowl highlight what I liked it used to like to do, and I still like to do it now, there's more than excuse, but I used to like to cover up my face: just were prowling around at night if someone's not home, go in the home and try on their clothes and staff, and it was just a way to be someone else for little bed and send a bee uninhibited instructor see how other people lived ass. I was really cool. Waiter too, and occasionally they'd come home and have to carry out the back and or murder them, and I never did I am. I would be very clear. I never murdered anybody, I'm just a night, prowler prowler who likes to just sort of spook around and look at things.

I've been in alive your homes. If you listen, I've worn your intimate apparel has to say that, and I put it back so you have any questions why my underwear smelled like son screen? Yes well anyway, I should probably away I put it on down there. It just doesn't make any sense. Really rather it up but listen. My point is, I am safe. That's what we're gonna take away from that long digression in which I admitted to being well peeping Tom and I prowler creep wrangle bites sooner. I worry about you a little bit yeah as I know that you come for me. A very large serve collective family, yes and people programmes.

Some credible pressure to gather I'm lucky. No one wants to hang with me, so I am fortunate, but you are you getting a job errants and your relatives understand when you say: hey, hey, don't come over. No, no one understands by. I need my mom and dad have to take it seriously, cause dead their lives with them and he's ninety seven that's my grandpa did it is that is at Greek, Armenian, I don't know your part, Greek and your part armenian yeah, I'm a quarter Greek! I please Armenian, my grandma, why one of my grandmother was a greek and fun fact about her Is her nickname was tumble, which means chubby. And when she died, they

that on her grave on my own yeah they. So if you go, it's tumble moves s in which is like chubby move says. Yes, she was basically I heard aimed after her, her fat shamed, nickname was put on her to stone. Maybe things are a little shrubby as a hid, the the point is: maybe she was I'm guessing. She grew up like in the nineteen twenty yeah I mean so she gonna, like the nineteen twenties or whatever she was a little chunky. Yeah, and they called her. You know chubby and then she probably turn into a beautiful woman and then there are no reported on your grave style. You I'd or chunky kid. I don't know who made that call, but those are nickname is tumble which in Turkish means chunky like I'll, be little thing and then, when my grandpa died, they are going to change it, but I her name's was Sonia, and

This didn't want to put the names so Nemo Ceci and on a gravestones so funny cause I picture Sonia on a gravestone all the time. Oh my god. What are they reveal? I think I made a u dying joke earlier and then I felt that this gravestone was for your unhappiness. The death of scientists unhappiness, but that's what I mean it today and I think I so everyone took it is a year when you, when you are free of all unhappiness, we're going to make a gravestone to your unhappiness and puts sonar on it and then in a very small letters unhappiness. That's I'm not I'm not an unhappy person, I know, but you still not completely free. I want you to be. I want you to be completely blissfully happier in its favour. I just saved it now. You really do. I really did away a lot of stuff coming in on the internet right now. This is like streaming counting nailed it. This is great. I don't see you taking any. Oh here's a story assistant aspects in that I pads not eyes and variety assistant mistakes. Cones, wonderful worm, remark for a cruel quip judges, a review and morality. Its being is coming out right now, the red type Webster a rare moment,

genuine kindness, his assistant, Simon session, in which she said he wished her to be free of all misery and he wished that he could go gravestone to any sad moments, would ever have in the future she's dad him. Oh that's so mean you want me to die. She tried to clean it up, and then she apologized Arusha. Yes, it is a pretty I apologize. Cadets haven't happened yet this is one of those reviews who knows when I wrote that that informations anyway, I'm gonna tell you a story which is that when I was a kid one of my uncle's, I had these really big larger than life uncles, very tall man two heads just shoot ads. Everyone in irish people have big heads my brothers and sisters and I'll have massive heads like care get your heads like massive head and then like a body that, even though our bodies are big, they can't compete with our heads, but this.

Who had come over and he was is larger than life guy and a big deal on a big, powerful lawyer and Mr Mass and offers cause. He didn't remember my name or whatever, but he'd call me him fat ok, that's right. You told us, airlines aim was as long as I am doing so, but I don't mind because I just love any story. We call him yeah with, and I just have this orange hair that was cut in a ball by two. Teeth were daggers. I fell in the driveway I had freckles I hated. I was always wearing some hideous nineteen. Seventy sure that have been put on me that my brother's owned before me, I was miserable and then this guy would come and go. Ok, look! It's ham, fat you're also called pigeon pie. What's with you in foods, I don't know. My mom still calls me pigeon pie if I collar should go like oh hello, pigeon pie. When I was a kid I didn't question it, but now I think a pigeons. dirty, dirty, Berea, benches, statues all day, their filthy and their covered with dirt, and so the eye

ass skyrocket. So the idea that you grab some of those when they weren't looking break. Next and shoved into a pie and then then that's what I would be called expert hilarious, tat my mother died. Hamburg bears a about, but yeah, I think it's. I think I should that you and your family, you gotta, talk to them and say: look you gotta. Take this seriously, you gotta be safe. What Oh, I know I know I know I know it sucks. It's you there's a lot of scepticism in communities and it is in my life a little bit but no, it's gonna be in a viral video yelling at someone right right, you're, not aware that there are no they're not going to do that now know any. I will say your your people. Are? They really are a lovely people. They arise

Are we really are very nicely justino? Leaving signs occasionally moved on a necessary to super spread our science and I are? Who do you think you can? You were in the same room? I just said lovely things about you're about your parents, so what I snuck into horrible things to say, but somebody very quickly like a ninja big deal like a ninja yeah alma, guys very the leave rioting covering this. What yeah? Oh here! It is right here now glad you of this report or thank you. You were getting these extreme right, Conor Brian known as one of the warmest kindest of hosts. When way out of his way to praise some assistance and of associations. Parents is being while lovely bud, o Brien soldier on and continue to say how letter he was to work with such lovely people, before quickly muttering super spreader, science denier here term,

which Conan put out there for the health and safety of all those listening in the pie cast community come. This is a great article. As it gives me seven stars out of five words: yes, which is impossible, as it say, we need a wrap this up and get to the episode says. O Brien then started to go on a little bit too long, despite the fact that he had a wonderful guest on that day, o Brien was then reminded by his annoying producer man, goarly, formerly resident of a living under a bridge downtown o area until he was saved by the kindly O. Brien gave him a microphone and a headset and said am I a night prowler? I was out night proudly. I was out. prowling that might ask anyway my arm and when I met man under bridge and made him Why are you wonder the bread three lived children right now, but why we're going Improv is yes and weren't. You

living under abridgment. Yes- and I was going to say yes Ambit, then you edit the creep part, yes and so you're some creep living under bridge. Yes, and I quit I'm glad you quit- that horrible lifestyle and clean yourself off to come join me. Listen, we can't waste time, we showed you can't wait, stood waiting, we cow is time, and you know what I blame. Those of you. I once you know you're the red card of time, oyster. I am focused podcast, her, I'm a broadcaster, you know a lot of pine. Castors are just pack Castro's, but you know I am. I began as a broadcaster and then branched into podcasting, so no one's got their eye on the old time clock more than this guy. I am a laser beam focus that will bring us to the promised land I promised land starts now. I M very excited by our guests days. A hilarious comedian who became co had writer of Saturday Night live in two thousand in seventeen

he's also one of the hosts of weakened, update and I am thrilled he is with us today. I do admire this gentleman. Michael J welcome

most times I'm talking to someone on the Pied cast it someone I already know Ben. I think, there's been three instances you included where I don't really believe we ve met. We may have met at some points. We do you think we spent, we did mean, definitely met and you never track or remember where so I can do. I want the story I longed for and I didn't. I cut your face really wow. Just I went to the day when I was in a weird mood and have a slashing doing as last year for the blood she I share this guy and oblige really didn't want blood's. They said it's not a good friend, I said I'll show you fellows and I'm a real good, slash guess you know I now and then that's how I repay you. You help us get me into the blood and I knew your city I had so many people to slash. I went after the guy that made the introduction and I feel so bad. I'm apologize well, and I appreciate what really really happen before you come. We are used to make teachers and fellow loose drew. You bought and I really rival Prince Street Wooster what it was, but I used to like drawing preachers and put them on t shirts and you are working now. Every did because, like you, I love you knows about just over three unmistakable stalled yeah. I've always set us like me and big bird from Sesame Street when we walk around in sunglasses. Everyone does we're not fooling anybody like white shackling Romeo and I was thrilled with less nice little Murphy Room moments being out there like the european Licence Kind, and you certainly like to show you gave a muddy and then you know

school no out now tip for. When was the last time you liver do that you go to a store and you buy. You know you say like I like to start by any as a little something extra for you. I don't do that in a store, so I don't know. I didn't know that that was the custom, but I wasn't, or with the kid on the street man wouldn t real, sad amnesia, looking sense, also where coal are. I think that now I bought the shirt, I bought the shirt and then now clearly I committed some full power by not adding an extra you, no extra tip. I feel more motivated by suitable from your job shoot you than I thought it was that we had a good business exchange and now suddenly on getting all this shit for not saying come with me and my life I'm together or store. I now, let's change the story to ice and follow me I'll show you all about comedy, and then we went lived on a mountain top. Now I have so many questions. First of all, I am very very excited to quote meet you even though we ve technically mad, but

you ve got you ve. Had such an impressive career at such a young age mean Lightyear yeah. You ve done a wise saying that it would make sense. But like you call me no Brian, that everything that I've done but like a lot, but I don't think that's true a hard to read here. Please translucent, because people ran the Vietnam WAR, they were the ones tat. We ve been a really good idea: let's get India, China and get involved and start bombings shit out of staff. So now I don't play. I dont consider that a feather in my cap. Let us put it that way. It is free, awesome, historic as it has no right of common in the names you hear about calling abroad like you know that,

Does this footsteps, you follow the legality of allocating calling O Brien Jack Handy, always Pierre there's some publicity about Conan, no Tipp, o Brien forgot around pretty quickly to people and YO by your product, but he's not gonna. Give you something on top knowed civil rights over a completely different. There was a war wound. He was a war. Won't I jumped on a grenade through my crotch, on a grenade to save the battalion. You know I am very impressed because I really am, I think, you're terrific concern alive and you were had writer on the show, which is incredibly impressive. I was not. I had rhino when I was there, so you win that one. No one made me had writer, barely barely right, the three writers, a wonderful and do the least amount of work certain took on credit. That's nets by in this business settles grew, but I find and- and I am very impressed with your stand up- I just think you arrive absolutely fantastic stand up and you such a good joke writer and thus, like one of the first things I will,

two don't worry about is I really love the way you right and the jobs that you come up with an I'm curious. When did you know you had a brain for that that you could do that I'll, tell you my experience was, I was very intimidated. I used to think I can make my friends last and I can sort of think a funny things on the fly and make people laugh, but I'm not a writer. I used to think that I dont Reich I'm not really a writer, and it took me a while the realise that that's what writing is coming up with the idea, then you just have to put it down. Did you have that block? That was a block for me. I think it was the opposite from me. It was more like I think I can say funny things, but no performed before so when I started comedy, how much do an open might just cuz. I want to try.

Outside so intimately about being onstage. I've never heard my voice in a microphone before that. You know like I never really perform and so go into an open MIKE and seen people try and be bad at it was. I arable dig courage to be bad and I could at least be bad to you not just to see what it feels like and I'll. Remember what I said for maybe the first six months of doing stand up, but I remember the first time I got up there and being onstage and here in my voice in a microphone and seeing a crowd like woke, crowd, Michael eleven people. Looking at the folk who knows what seemed like the people and in kind of having a stage it fell natural. So

Carter came birth and in Jos really was like. I always believe stopped in, and I was saying was funny I just, but it was all about how I make you see it. The way I see in also be in a different country, and you don't know the language you try to look for directions as I look and for greater crying. I know I'm trying to tell you and you have no idea what I say is unjust, trying to say that we can agree on encouraging the gist of what I'm trying to say. You have it in your mind and in your mind it's really funny, and then the draft is, how do you get them to see it exactly the way you do and when they do that when you get the electrical current? That's when, like guys there inside your head in their experiencing at exactly the way you are, and there are laughing and to me that's the face of God like that values. That is one I know. There's a power in the universe, because I mean,

The only thing that really I mean there's a lot of nice things. As you know, there's a of nice things had come along with with being in this business bud I would still do it. I would do it for free. If I can still get that facts, you know for free for sure. I'm you know I started up pay and get on stage was I literally you'd have to pay like seven dollars is over my tat. The Duke three minutes, maybe get a laughable, maybe the worse bodies, you possibly oversee, but yeah that feeling when you do get a laughable it'll. Take you through anything you so much for the colony fan you when you wife come here and obviously you seen a chameleon kill. The greatest really until you do know state and you make an people laugh and everyone laughing. Just edges is weird thing explained, but it's a for a year and then what happens is once you are out there doing it and you're killing the next time you go and you sit an audience and you want someone else, kill you thinking now

those. Why aren't? I I saw that one coming: didn't you see that one coming I did and then Sir, please sit down you're, ruining the show and n Y y. You insist, ass all just say he's, not that's funny. I dont know why and I need they hustle you out and you're not allowed to go back and in our view that next time you have said too much truth is I got into exactly know it's where we have some similarities. We both come by means. I always look for. What's the commonality and I think you're? U want to seven point six. Kids. Do you want to sell one? Certainly my birthday mercury. Will you I'm in the middle I'm in the Middle EAST, so I was the anonymous guy in the metal that was like. You will know my name. I really got them. I really did have the impression they didn't quite know. I who I was sometimes because we all looked exactly the same or you will see. What's all not all of us, but I think most of us are pretty tall. Most was a pretty to alight. I'm like one of the tallest myself and my brother just dinner are like six four men I wasn't almost of my childhood, I dont associate, was being talks. I got tat really late. I had a growth spurt, really late and suddenly became six four and put on no weight was still the same weight. So I was when I was about seventeen. Suddenly I became or seventeen and a half. I became six four.

and I was a hundred and fifty five and I can have. I can have an engineer, draw the that for you or avoid, doesn't work on paper like I kept falling over collapsing woodwind. Now, no wind was real problem that often wake up in like a haystack hundreds of miles from home, not knowing what happened but yeah we had, and I you know, I think we both grew up in the projects now gradually correct me. If I'm wrong Michael projects, just correct me. If I'm wrong projects means well to do supper right. Is it that's? What I've always thought? That's why I was tell people I'm gonna projects do and then we started may seem. Confused Cosette was my definition of practising skirting projects. Don't work also where greater move project you grab and in New York, women and lorries. I'm in my motive Jersey City, so we thought it was a sober though we used to call to shock of New York City peered through one of the problems that everything is on top of each other. You knows as yet, no matter where you probably around three hundred people, you know like just very immediate radios and

A deal journeys within the two to family house knows I some old. Why people living around like this? We must be rational stairs, but it was like you knows probably worth your only know that causes you know you get a decent block in a different time that real suburbs issue from before you knows the city in a right may even know you have much until you start meeting kids with alarm. Yes, and so I went to high school era of performing our fiscal acquired music and are an end.

There was still the best performing icicle. Maybe the country buyers in Austria for his fist for a city, kids and arms he'd make use of all walks of life you meet. Yes, I was waiting for the new enemy kids TAT were way. Richard unites, super rich and approve an upper West side and Queens who programme due from alone is you can meet the whole city, because this is a public school, essentially bridges, everybody's kind of as some town and that's when I started to kind of get, realize our group also, but is also a kind of. Finally I while I'm I made it where you made it too, and I didn't have what you have no right to feel this sort of

It's ok. You know it is saying we must grow differently, but also you like, but I made it as though made it to where you got two in an ever growing self in eleven all bad as well. I guess one question I have is now you had this really incredible success and how does your brain or the way you grew up, influence how you deal with that? One would think you really will comedy that's true, because no you're funny, you know that you grew up you're. A damn fool. You are, those is lower release. You got accomplish around those. Frankly, always remember when you weren't running up here, no physicist subdued subjective- and it's like almost no one- grew up with Michael Jordan and said well. He was a shitty athlete right now or you reference shack earlier. No one was Ike, Shack, basketball. I Europe with ham and you Jerry, was eighty at all as a child, and he was you know by begging, is so clear and it's so objectives but comedy young people can always anybody can say. I don't know I've got a mechanic, that's funny. They knew the person who just installed my gaslights funnier than you and could be true could be possible. That does the craziest thing and I think I think the only reason that I got the opportunity that I got Israel.

I really have nothing to lose out very and employ you know. I will give my jobs here in their millions very little money, so I could go to do all they might every day at six o clock because I wasn't network, you know, so it is, I think, a model. All the time like If I would have done the job to me. Forty grandparents grandma girls are solid job that I probably would have been under qualified for at that time.

I wouldn't know, try coming gonna been too afraid a risk that our new followed that dream to do this, because I was protected, something that are really don't want to do. You know this as a very kind of strange things like people who don't take the chance on something one really do just because they are afraid of jeopardizing the thing that making a miserable lot right and allow ways in unless you lots of people love doing what they do. But I will love that in hate being a waiter or being a bar back or about working a cuban global jogging Nuts- and I just want to find something- I could do that- wasn't that because it is felt wrong before I go to captain shoes, you know, but if I had it, I will not let it go because that's that's one downsize grown up the way I grew up. It was like you have to do something now, because

I need only should be palm because it always just be about the environment and just no ambition or innocent. my dad was like the biggest fear and doing kindly moves very scary for larvae. Wherever I beg you by the be about about China, dribbled ass, it s, not a knock on didn't do. I grew up with them. Just morsel of fear account here because we do not have maybe, but I made it out so was harder, see, work if you ve never seen it worse, and I think now maybe people coming up in all and from my family or from you know, my neighborhoods will

believe in people who try. What more could we do? There is an example that works. Sometimes you know yes and that's out of products is arguably sober. I mean basic needed as Adrian end. Up really has no difference, but there's no differences. Far as I can see, no there's something out there listening to thinks that I'm in some kind of a bubble or have lasted, but my butler assures me that I am on points I know what's happening out. There are less, not add any of those comments because, as a huge wasted time for everybody, they were so I sent out live because that's something we have in common and I remembered showing up and them saying. Ok, oh! Go in that room, Steve Martens, the house this week he's he's in there and go pitch him an idea. I literally thought we made you don't even know who I am and you're having me go, pitched Steve, Martin. What if I've got a gun? You know who would have been just some twenty four year olds until I get in there and talk to your world where I say crazy, you know like I couldn't believe that

it was you go from zero to two hundred and fifty. That was my experience that it's terrifying, like by cool. What was you? What did you have it as similar failing rules almost verbatim, like literally my first cause? I came in ass, a guest writer in the middle of the season. They would do the same when it would bring in at the start of a new voices and bring it to rise a week, and I happened to be one because I saw a journalist and Joe Saxony College. Also her right at the time was like. I would do anything we bring in a guess writers, given gorgeous fresh faces it if you'd like to do it. So I came in and my first day I don't know what a gas rain that need not be like an enchanting is kind of a glorified intern provide for a medal. Weak secondment of shadow gels been maybe patient, page wasn't stuff, but it's like Monday, like our dinner by, comes in and meet you in

Go get may also give office like Lord. What Lorn like who is now in its office in carrying out was the was the policy with the US for some hosting in he was biggest comedian in the world that you're gonna work and maybe sellers, and I we walk in and only like. Well, you got two idea: the electrician idea determine arch and in front of your new boss, maybe possibly any entire chairs in writing, and I never in the sketch before I think I'm pissed do you like it was a Euro Bridges black man in New York. Doing red

I never knew how sensitive already idea why the waves and weeks did those to whom and not just in some way was a next week. Can I got the job after that? Those guys, I'm sure. It was so in Jamaica, I'd never discussed before I got an yeah, see you get a sketch, then you find out it get. It goes through read through and does well and you find out there, maybe I'd ever. You described that for me. First of all, it was kind of the cause of those most classic kind of as an ally in the schedule occurrence. In that we have worked all night, Maybe-

Let's see. Some now was honest. Sketch idea that guy absolutely no less than the one that I kind of rose really quickly because we needed to- and I wrote him like, maybe an hour, all the last, and I was just like one thing that difficult becomes fast is probably gonna work every day. Every our time is probably not gonna work, but it was just a symbol, expert time hostess, those the five times club, as you would know about, and is literally

Tom Hanks, where daylight roads there by ill by so many people there and end the lonely island guys came back because they were often eight. They came back to the shoulder. Do so do I just don't see marm was there before they do, while the crazy guys with the air was that it was not use. Week was almost like a financial or Christmas, show kind of kind of feel, and I got a sketch of the first gasser that it did at the table so hard and in the scattered I rule was ECHO commercial Perry kill and it was almost like a prank at it, felt like they were making fun of me because you laughing at me- and I knew that this was a very good idea and also that you just thought I was it funny, but it does my kind of a scary designated omega. This is gonna

my dear on tv, I might get a sketch one say my lunch and then was approved this I had like, as a re run, showing you don't appreciate your fairy hands honest. I, like you know yes, yes near the produce hydrogen literally producing the scotch you're talking to the direct EU, making choices. You d have to be there, so it was just as bizarre thing of like he said: don't feel worthy. Don't you should be very glad to be someone else right now, but he was so much fun because such a machine that they will protect you. This is a good idea of is an idea that would allow believe in detail protect EU in figure out how to get it produce and how to making work on a shower by it. They also make sure that they give the entirely that you intended to have so it was light. It was kind of law, But you know again my high school, you like all I can do this by I can I can. I can try again in others. It may not be the best I can.

An absolutely take a shot if you feel confident and be able to take a shot well to me the magic moment. Is you exactly what you said, which is it doesn't have to be agony and in fact

I've heard songwriters like some of the most famous songwriter performers in the world have said nothing else. John one said all the great songs. I recommend like fifty minutes. You now came to me and I've had the exact same feeling when I as labour it over something in there's like mine of us and were grinding and grinding in grinding and pushing in pushing forward any read through any all. You can hear, there's no laughing, so you hear that you can also see how you can see Lorn Michael's, looking ahead, to see how much lawyers is far more than it rests, looking ahead and he's taking his long since of water, I'm looking ahead and you realize- and this is a fifteen page louis- we rode here the Gulf, every girl, you know too incurious, Jan the martians- have still not found the magic see yes and you and you look ahead. You like test and if it doesn't get better care for like a colleague button like that's so great was the relay will always call right there. You guys, like the first turn, is twelve more just like you weren't supposed to move on we're all less offensive that that would improve the show and the clouds, the shell. So much. If the writer, if

is the rule was whoever sketch it was this too so perfect, cystic, ok, we're going to read this sketch it's written by Michael Shankar, Brian. They wrote it together,

You know it's called doktor sneakers and measures. Us asked me idea and your names on it. So you better fucking get behind it. They give us a better and we each have a lesser, because our sketches being re after sneakers and then he says the line that he's going to say, honoured and fifty times it's bound to kill these ain't sneakers I've seen sneakers. Nothing then he says I again, and then he says it again and genuine. I look at each other. We just nine. You hit the buzzer. We're out just die. Just keep going this way out, but everybody rights, fine and they would they would move ahead, but you're, absolutely right. It would keep morale up where people are doing now is bad, but also you know it's bad immediate is key and you saved us from having to go through sixty pages of doktor sneakers sneak now on asylum. I loved you wanna random. Do you want to write it up with me I'll write it up with you like he's doing? Second, you discover regard this result oriented way at rise. We we are, we were so we we so often this gap. We have this shirt made before we even takes this. We get them in the store. We really what the fuck is not just negroes o trust me Michael and I ain't gonna be huge gainers out there and he had ever beheld in part. This meagre serves you at the airport. Always was the thank you place ways with my wife with my case. No doubt you sneakers right now live that story started out his tone and you are nice. Your kind service from me and then you just at the very end, justifies the sun is about to set on his beautiful story of Kindly Conan. It's you didn t do tat. I was saving up saving up my life a rainy day. You know, I would ask you by something bed. I think we can act on that. We set her disavow, you have nurses, definitely about you, stand up, which is the main part of your job as turn alive and producer. The daily show is to do political, humor or tell Jos, by politics, but you said it's not your passion that you love finding human things to talk about Denard, necessarily just political is our right. Oh yeah he's always feel like. I will

I think that the people have to agree with you to think you're fighting. You know your video as coming back so I'll. Try to pull out. an italian job, because I want you agree with me on time. Job too, though, want she was glad enough to people like that. Rarely Craig with Europe. Granted think he was right. When I do it's funny. You know I've been when I approached political material account and I tried going to come from the perspective of what it is like. The somebody learning about all is for the first time a man doesn't have an agenda is just trying to make sense of it in your brain. Sultana is allowed to wash my grandmother. Do my grandmother passed away reason do you wanna huge, bigger,

and was really see. She was my shoe the biggest me, but she was so funny. Love loving web loving, but you NOS eighty, ninety years old, you know they grew in a different words that were true and transport. As there was a girl just listen, I wasn't a constitution by children, but now she was so phoenician sources of funding, but everything that you everything she said knows why she didn't know was funny. It will just be heard trying He found normal would just be the funniest thing I've ever heard and I always thought there was something charming. A bow

people no matter whether you agree or disagree, then trying to make sense of it is where the funny like? Yes, yes and I also where the human life, because you like men- I remember not knowing that too, so I can't really be managed, because there was a time where I didn't know either, and I can only imagine what this must sound like to you without. Any other concepts. So dashwoods your kind laughing at you not laughing and right or wrong you laughing at its just silly and funny and less kind of my approach to that kind of thing, burden at EU level and has also noted that just because you're here, but that also been what about your comedy on your show, is that

I never feel like you're preaching to us, as it has already in your. Never like saying does the way the world needs to be you're. Getting the laugh you're trying to get the laugh in itself is a pure way that it doesn't. You can tell us not that you don't care. Is that you're not you're there to make people have a good time? No matter? How do you feel about you, re, nine and, as I think, that's important? Sometimes I just lost when everybody is up there to change the world was I always

it's coming at it from I'm down here in the muck with everybody else, and I am not better than anybody else. In fact, I might be worse. I, like my comrade, coming out of vat, and then that was all the stuff that I love growing up, even the old stuff from the thirties and fortys like people that there are the lowest of the low, whether its two three stooges order, the marks brothers, or that you know that you see feels like they're they're at the bottom of the ladder you know or even the classic silent people like Buster Keaton there at the bottom, and I always there are invited to the party there always crash or exactly an end. I was ass. I was like that. My always proof I liked the silly stuff- and I also think it endures absolutely does- is really it seemed to me because not to go. I watched you, this estimate of special that you did in and it was fascinating because I could have sworn you had made it two days ago, but I realized it was cause. Your approach was, you were writing classic really good jobs that are eternal when you did chunk on black lives matter, which was sent ass, Dick there's no way anybody could watch sat not think o Michael wrote this at the beginning of the pandemic right after George Floyd, and it's a perfect statement about this, and then you realize this was written in two thousand sixteen and performed in two thousand. Sixteen have

what did he do that? That's insane as one more reason why legs right about China re started because it told you now

If I were a joke about racism, knows, though, be there next to the giant S, life is like this. I read those Rachel's for the same reason: Mariah carry row along for prisoners. In my view, this is a case in point. Have you just said something that is indelibly sad, which creates jobs, are always going to be relevant and immediately had us howling. As you said, the same thing as Mariah carries Christmas signs and certainly I'm laughing at met. One of the saddest things anyone said to me in a while, because I know I know I know is stuff like that. It's like that's kind of the we're position. Naturalism I looked. I told you kindly Joseph, so those days were you're trying to tell people look. Do you know-

clean this. This is where you can said up until that happens people. So why didn't you say something we ve been saying your writing does when I rode into that. Sixteen was like. I just came up with that day because of the good of you just happened. Then you know like this. Now is a combination of that, so it is essential that we always been talking about. This problem will always fell and we try to make up for trying to make you see the way were seen for the first time, some kind of going back to the first thing we were saying trouble about the junk structure with trying to make you see the way you see we're trying to say is plainly as the way we understand it and so tat. He still thinks allow for people to desert me. I guess you're right as in any way, within a five years after the fact

why think, even today, AIDS common to speak for myself, like is not just a realization. It's a constantly having to realise again and again and again and again and again when people tell you it's always been this way and then realize it again and then realize it again now and it's just when you drink. What he had.

this- is his eyes teases animals to sponsor with peace. If we did have a spot on his courage is used by the way I have overlooked the fact that you're wearing a yankee cap throughout this ok, listen, listen most sellers, though what european ships do read. Saxon done all right. You know somebody I like the Yankee CAP, where were the red Sox would play in Yankee Stadium in the game was on tv we would watch it. and I was we were all so scared of New York, because we heard all these rumours that if someone were a red Sox cap ah

the Anti stadium, they would murder you and the police wooden investigate and it was like. That was a thing. I really believe when I was a kid, then there's your link well knows crazy. I, and I said I was a kid. You know right away. Five, twenty six not getting has, I was, but I remembered people in school, like other kids school seem like now here: they'll, never casino bought in the seventies New York was you know you all these movies rout like death, wish and warriors? Where was this lawless place where gains wearing Yankee caps? You know and weird face paints full Yankee uniforms, estimable warriors: where were you know in and people were murdering and the police were just go and we can't stop. It is too much murder, but we are that's. What we heard is that no one from Boston can go there, because I find out you from Boston and you'll be murdered, as is so it was triggering me the anti cap I would say I didn't either show wonder virtual loaded in Boston without a place all men acumen, namely to place, but it will be used to turn into a night club. It would be like a comedy club and in turn to a nightclub armoury shop was right down. Town a camel there would have been of is as confirming this, but I was wearing a Yankee cabin. These guys were just staring roomy, like literally try, I'm your fire with their eyes, and

and I could you figure out why, up until I furry farmers is certainly what is your problem really do you have a lamp was registered and music So what take my hat off to another angle, there really that's, why you like is not with the Gulf Aachen job we live, no fucking joke was, he was very well. The yankee cap is something we can't. You know it is ridiculous to think so, ready eighty serious, but you know, and then that is a Boston thing

That is a Boston thing where everybody in Boston wears a Boston Red Sox CAP and it's so redundant because you're like where will you land and everyone there is wearing a Boston rescue me like we know. I understand that we know we from the from you holding Duncan Iced coffee, but I, like you, know from Boston. I and you know the Red Sox are right, go socks and my ok now I guy outgrew that at a very young age lover was led. You know we're really. A liberal city only really Youtube curb stormy waters, relax a very nice I got out. I got I escaped, and I didn't say this about boss, and you know I'm not just pandering, because everybody should now also

The former is our words. Boston is easily when my fears cities took due account of the great harmony sounds. All is an amazing comedy to love performing a basket. It's because is, if those people, when you come to the show there. The lash, like you, said something about working working working class. It is there that syllabic babies dinner for the night. You gotta me like this night to be out in their data, have a good time you can. You can help you with anything. If it's funny and I'll let you know this is a good.

They re good regulation. Others is boring, gets boring, somebody's familiarly audience the Euro stage gained under MIKE. We will be on their side windows here. They are good at times who insist on his money money wisely and replace the like really performed. You wanna really touched you Interior, Laguna, populist and Chicago, like the Sun City that you my archive.

This is where they get. It is another invention. You should have next year alone, with your buzzer for the sun alive, whereas sketch velcro patch the goes over your name, you just you and me. I just put this outrage at John and everyone's liking and then comes right often goes back in your pocket. When you get back on the shadow, you ever do this thing out that other days I'll stay chapels house in, and we were talking about the budget, comedians and people. They were talking about saying the wrong city, namely the one city tore whenever you're done now. You know why I am so anxious about that that I write it on a card and I put it. I make sure that it's on the floor, but I'd be because I was so nervous about doing that. I really want to do that, so I was be like right. It's Minneapolis, that's right! You know even or its way, I'm in here that, like you could do so of counting all of this, but you're. U memorizing! You got all these years of experience and perform anything you mess up is the city because strange and all the time it makes sense to changing. You know, and it makes sense.

Because the other stuff you when you ve done it enough, it's in your reptile brain, it's like in the part of your brain, that saying, hey, heart, beat and lungs, expand a contract, and also I just got my dna test back and then the whole hunt. I do about getting my dna test back, that's all in there because I said it so many times, and then

The thing that changes every night is: woe: Provo Utah. You know this is incredible, you know, and you want to make sure that you and that's not in that part of the brain in the rain- needs to know that you, you know whenever they needs the news that you just heard ten minutes ago, that you have to remember that so what others and also cities to. Personally, as if you know the differently, like you really really care about the different ones, I must say I was a grand rapids and instead allow detroit- and you saw a baby, also try and do the same to me. But you know I have found you do and yes, you get so much love. If you ve put twenty minutes into then it may actually have a statue of Fonzie downtown. I remembered finding out- and I always ask around and you just ask like the lighting guy and and you look up stuff on line and if you just say like you know, if you show that you ve spent eight seconds thinking about them before you go out there, they like how did he already? How could he know that Saint Louis has an hour an hour but allowing some kind of magical? Just you know how much time from President Vigo Ire were saved. Them gives some core funding, because I wash em details with his kills at his crowd is in his material as he has no material and allow sometimes look at him he's just a look at Trump as a comedian and I'll think. Well, he's not a good community. That sort of like an open MIKE M C, who count like who owns the club but he's not a comic, but he knows how to go out there and just say things like a boy hot day: air data, a boy she would like to have some of that great bear that you make hydrogenated a very funny. That's nothing and took a Senate over the Democrats. They probably when the Atlantic is because this is like.

you got some Robinson from as well who has no walkers media. He calls a priest last year is literally the joke appraisals they wear with all my god. I can't believe Reese knows what we drag. You knows that kind of thing, no Jerry's it in December that horror, finally, normal right user. We we all want a guy there's. No, we want some brilliant do that's gonna be good at this job is now, as I know, no more. The area at the little bar talk just like me and says all day that I see that horror far you at all ignoring is more enduring now. It's like me, documents like me, try one might safely understand this. Guy was nobody's, do not really know. What's going on with you, a dinner dress, something I could use a brewery. Now you wanna go get a broom is every time I shed there's a lot of land zones. Rough. Lay there your school bowling. Sometimes you know, there's a lot of blood is mostly blood. Now all blind, there's no stool anymore. It's just like! Well, you know what you take a look at my mile of motor you, this guy, I think I'm dying. I think it's probably cancer of the bone marrow, but what I like this guy he gets me he gets. He sees again. I can I with Michael. I have kept you for wait too long. I've been I've, been I've been doing it just because I'm having such a great time last year again is absolute joy to get to talk to you and I would love to be a friend of yours, I like to hang out with you when we're allowed all hang out together. You know that be love too. I really like to hurt your street credit when I'm gonna tell you not just my favorite is like you led the clearly do on when you went to the APOLLO. We would do you do when you know show that the positive dapper Dan and all yet,

You got the task to go anywhere, you allow those you don't like. It makes me so funny acres. It is also your never try, you're always just being Conan and in its it comes across them. It's amazing, larger vessels coming from you, that is, that is incredibly sweet. That's really nice, and that makes my day really does is such as to make my weak. That's gonna, make my we think they sell actually Thursday. We will really. Why said not including the weekend- and I guess me through today and tomorrow and then I'll hang myself again Saturday morning, Micro, listen, absolute honour, a real honour and, and please be well stay well and keep doing what you're doing and yeah. Thank you so much less. We conan you mentioned how your voices in immediate boner killer and his sterilizing men throughout the world, and you said that you might try reading some erotic fiction as an example,

what you mean. I think this will prove my point. By the way I had to come back and put this disclaimer and that some of the language you're gonna hear isn't safe for children, although the tone is very safe for children. Here we go, show me how you pleasure yourself: do you still have to work on keeping you still baby, let's see if we can make you come like this you're so judiciously. When dad I want you, I wouldn't want. You may still compromise anyone arouse acting so now I told him deeper into my mouth when consumer, the back, my throat now run again rose round the end, my very own christian grave labored, popsicle outer and inner goddesses doing them harangue themselves a move going as far as the old climax you gonna take doesn't like genes. These cases may his fingers still moving rhythmically inside me, his some circling investing scoops my error, my aunt and hold my anyplace sound mirrors the actions of his fingers. Blaming me he's begin to stiffen, pushing and generals ease, and so I brought back from the brink like uneasily again and again falling apart beneath them and only a climax anew calling out his name. He grabbed me me across his that with one's move, any angles bodies and might also expressing on the bedside of rosy his right leg, nice laughed is mine. Advances for are not the right, but, alas, small holding me downs. Why you move it places his aunt em I naked behind. So there's no clothing on that by its name is the day I was born my birthday suit. I am sorry we finally need stroking around and around with his lap, and his aunt is no longer there. What happened is a magic trick. Know me hard fascinates me, but in a way it it's not creepy it all. We lie there waiting for our reading too slowly gently strokes, my boy I survived. I wasn't so bad, I more stored than I thought my inner guises prostrate. Well, at least you quiet is all I want to read. I wanted. I wonder I want to do the audio books in this no tier society. He gently pulls mice. What passed down down like a horse drawers me a horse to whose called them drawers and a hundred and fifty hours drawers my subconscious remarks bitterly in my head. I tell her where to go. Christians works very oil. It was handed and robs. My behind, with careful tenderness from make up removed, is suing bound for aspect ass. If I was such a personal liquid, versatile liquid, remove soothing bomb first faint ass. Well, I have written a liquid. You want some! You can get it here on my guy down traumatized thing for me area, there's more space. I can't stop. He held out his hand in his Palmer, two's shiny silver balls linked with a thick might be no inside me. I gasped and all the muscles deeply my belly clench. No, my inner guys is doing the dance, the seven dales, oh my curious feeling when they're inside me. I can't really feel no, but then again, I know that there are two key maize in eighteen. Eighty, four saxon- I wasn't player yes than he is. I never needed to hear that resource thing than ever. Now I love my love like I just love, I just say I know enough about this to know that in the last movie they get married and I'm telling you I'm eighteen years in a marriage, and I'm telling you this is news. This bullshit ends shortly after the wedding yeah. I'm telling you the fact that they get married and then he's like. Well, let's go upstairs, and I'm going to put you in that special leather room and I've got these balls and I'm going to place inside your by talking about where we relate for this less injures we gotta go told colony would be a class. No I just it takes, doesn't take that alone and you have to be a good, don't fucking suddenly with a good girl stuff. I told you, I mean email you this morning. You know we're going to less injures and we're bringing applied by the US. I would have been really happy if this never happened. Well, I hope

I killed that fact that popular series for everybody, I think, sir, you I think you did it that way is awful in every sense of the word, but in a way I think the way I read it, it's safer everybody way. I could read that to anybody, and then there would be no because it doesn't sound sexual at all, I mean I'd, say all the six out of it. You really do incredible what my voice to somehow made it family friend know. How did I turned? It sounds like I'm reading IKEA instructions, you really mean it sounds like I'm reading. I might as well be reading a recipe for you, no fruit, salad or something tat, although I still feel the need to go back and put a little disclaimer. Something like

by the way I had to come back and put this disclaimer in that some of the language you're gonna hear isn't safe for children, although the tone is very safe, yeah, although it set in such a way, but comments about to say is not safe for children, but the way he sang it has removed all eroticism yeah because of the boner killing the hour of his voice. Warning. If you are trying to conceive, do not listen to this podcast Conan, o Brien leads a friend was soon obsession and Conan o Brien, as himself produced by me, MAC Goarly executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitary off and generosity, cocoa and Colony Anderson and Chris Ban and add your wolf theme song by the White Stripes incidental music. By Jimmy the Vienna. Our supervising producer is an player, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer samples. The shows engineer by will backed it. You can write and review the show Apple podcast and you might find your review featured on a future episode, got a question for Conan call. The team cocoa Hotline had three two three four five one, two eight to one and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode and if you have an already, please subscribed. Conan o Brien needs a friend on apple pie, guests, censure or wherever fine broadcasts are down

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