- Today I'm gonna talk about something exciting and it's just not. I've pretty much lied to our listeners, but I think this is exciting. Recently we celebrated our five-year anniversary. Of doing the podcast by releasing a vinyl album. album And has really cool artwork and was fun to make. It's called Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, Quinquennial Celebration Vinyl. The reason I'm bringing this up is we released it not that long ago and it immediately sold out. And so we've decided to make a second pressing. It's a limited edition vinyl album. And it's of course presented curated by myself, Sona and Matt in celebration of our podcast, fifth anniversary. - We curated it. - Yeah, and this one, the vinyl.

This is a limited edition orange. So let's just say you, I'm gonna flash forward like 15, 20 years, maybe 50 years. And the listener right now has one of these and goes in and says, hey, I've got this Kona Brian Needs a Friend, fifth celebration vinyl. And the old guy. Maybe it's one of those shows like Antique Roadshow or whatever, Pawn Stars. They say, Oh yeah, that album, yeah, that was quite a podcast back in the day, one of the big ones. So anyway, I've got that. And so I am guessing you just got the old regular vinyl, black vinyl. Actually, no, sir. My grandfather bought this 'cause he was a Conan fan. I've since listened. I don't get it. But anyway, it's this and he pulls out and the guy's gonna go.

It's orange! You got an orange one! you got I'm Orange. Quinquenio. And then he's gonna start shouting. Will go off. We got an orange quinquennial! A Conan orange quinquennial! And he's gonna say like... Do you have any idea what this is worth? Well actually I really don't I'm just you know it's not important to me I don't value material things Million dollars no way yes in this scenario in my mind it's 500 million dollars but of course this is about 80 years in the future hmm where that's rent. Oh I see. Yeah also this is the largest printing we've done and it's the second so the first printing was less. Yeah you were shitting on the black one but the black one is more valuable because there was only a limited quantity. This one's a special color. Let me try it again. Yeah. You probably got that crappy orange one! No, no, no, no! No? That's too far? Don't shit on the orange, 'cause that's too far!

Tell me to sell those. Okay, how about this? How about this? How about this? Well, if you got the orange one, that's gonna be worth a lot. Yeah. Okay, good. But if you got the initial black pressing... Well, that'd be worth even more! Is that right? Yeah. But also in this scenario, originally you said, oh 15. Years in the future I want to be 80 I want to be more like a hundred post apocalyptic yeah He's gonna go, Uh oh, here come the robotrons! Let's get out of here! Let's put on your exosuit and GO! Humans detected, humans detected. Is that an orange Conan O'Brien vinyl? - Or the more, slightly more precious black. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I will return this to the head.

The robotron, a long time collector, you know. So yeah, it's a future. - Well, we have a little treat here today though. Just a taste. - This is a taste, 'cause boy. You must be thirsting for some Conan stupidity right now. This is a taste, you know, 'cause we don't play the vinyl, 'cause then you could record it yourself and you wouldn't need us and we couldn't exploit you. So, here's a taste of an old timey ad we recorded. Exclusively for the vinyl. Never heard before by non vinyl owners. At podswag.com/conan. Yeah, podswag.com/conan. Give a listen. - Hey. - Already. - Are you afraid of that 19...

...17 flu that's going around? If so, you want Doc Palmer's Asbestos Face Mask! Asbestos, the new miracle! Pla, it's been proven to destroy all infectious vapors. Yes, of course, many people say that asbestos has not been tested for long-term health effects, but take it from old Doc Palmer. Bestest is the best cloth to have wrapped around your mouth available at any five and dime In your vicinity, just jump on the old large wheeled bicycle, wax up your stash, and get down to Doc Palmer's!

Oh, hello there! What you wish? It's Johnny Youngblood here, just wondering if your Doc Palmer face masks are safe for kids. Of course they're safe! There's nothing safer to put around your mouth than asbestos! Thanks, Doc Palmer! That cough is probably not related to the mask! Everyone in this era is sickly. Get one now! One for a dime, two for three. Pennies. It doesn't make sense, but that's the way things were at the end of the first World War. Wait a minute, how do I know there's going to be two? That's strange. Well, so it goes. Toodly doodly doozy. Use code Conan on your computerizing machine. The machine will be invented in about 80 years. Until then, try it on an abacus.

Motherfucker!

It's me, your oil change light, here to ruin your day. Remember that last mechanic who sold you stuff you didn't need and took three...