what if you were a global energy company with operations in scotland technologists and india customers all on different systems you need to pull it together so you call in ib and redhat to create an open hybrid cloud platform now data is available anywhere securely and your digital transformation is helping find new ways to unlock energy around the world let's create one

every cloud that can change industry industry idea let's create learn more at five pm dot com sponsorship for the daily show irritation comes from hyundai have you ever thought about your car personality what's your vibe do you like a classic fully gas powered engine or are you a best of both worlds type with a convenient hybrid ride driving on battery power with gas in reserve just in case whichever your vibe there's a hyundai tucson a match and power trying to get you there okay hyundai this hyundai usa dot com to learn more about the two thousand and twenty three hyundai tucson two thousand twenty three tucson plug in hybrid is only sold in california colorado connecticut maine massachusetts maryland new jersey new york oregon rhode island

in vermont you listening to carmody central on saturday the world's biggest sporting event kicked off the round of sixteen with the netherlands scoring yet another victory and the united states learning first why they call it the knockout stages and this was especially humiliating for the u s because the dutch teen plays in those little wooden choose but but don't be set and we said the good news for america is the next world cup will be in the euro which means which means all the players will be allowed to use guns yeah worry there are you can't use their hands to shoot them should be interesting in international news after months of protests obeyed strict he job loss iran is reportedly considering abolishing

its infamous morality police let that happen it would be wild iran my defined the police before milwaukee we can offer relative police some use out of the u s supreme court this morning the justices heard arguments on whether a colorado based web designer can refuse to build websites for gay weddings which she says violates her religious beliefs and i'm sorry but what does this web design is process that making a wedding website violates her religious beliefs but just like ok i'm adding your hotel blocked info oh time and date of ceremony a hard core video the two of you each other and the humor alright let's move on to some of the bigger stories of the day starting with twitter elon musk bought for his mid life

instead of a lumber guinea we ilan released the so called twitter files which many conservative had hoped would prove that twitter colluded with democrats two cents a news about hunter biting laptop during the twenty twenty election instead they mostly just showed the binding campaign asking twitter to take down nude photos of had to buy so yeah sorry everyone if you want to see naked people you gotta go to every other website on the internet i guess that's what have asked you not to be a major let down for conservatives there was no proof of a conspiracy to help if you dont trump but you know he doesn't care about any of that

donald trump for president donald trump's false claims about the two thousand and twenty election now have him calling for the constitution to be terminated with the revelation of massive and widespread fraud and deception in working closely with big tech companies the dnc and the democratic party do you throw the presidential election results of twenty twenty out i declare the rifle winner or do you have a new election a massive fraud of this type and magnitude allows for termination of all rules regulations and articles even those found in the constitution yeah that's right the republican front runner for president of the united states wants to terminate the constitution because

so wouldn't allow him to see hunter biden's dick like i want to see the pp i want to see i want to see what i'm dealing with the if you want to see one hundred biden's dick just get a bag of cocaine like everyone else mr president so why is this the news can anyone tell me why why why is this leaving the headline donald trump this undermines the election he thinks that about everything everything however the math equation starts his answer is always the same doesn't always like a waiter could come up like i'm sorry saw the kitchen says we run out of the mickey mouse pancakes death is the last straw we radio the election we do have the donald duck waffles it sure like i'm starving the capital have those two go please and look i get the trunk doesn't like to lose by my man twenty twenty is over you ve got a move on tromp like one of those guys who never stop trying to give back with his ex keys

texting her years may lay hey you up and she'd like yeah i'm up with my kids from i was still playing hard to get i like the honesty though what a what a start to the trump twenty twenty four campaign first he had dinner with nazi lovers now he's calling to scrap the constitution what's next give the lincoln memorial enormous boobs and still the grps going to come out like our person or whatever with a tasteful breakup but i think our president trump heart is in the rye players laughed but enough of trump and his craziness let's calm things down with a news story out of tampa florida where we finally found the answer to the quantum physics paradox what happens when a police officer pulls

over the chief of police to ever stop gap has been placed on administrative leave after she flashed her badge apparently using their status as police chief to get out of a traffic stock after the deputy proceeds to explain to them why they were being poured over which by the way was because they were driving a golf cart on the public road without the appropriate tags this happened is your camera on the things teeth all how you doin undoing guide and hope you just let us go to jail folks good night every mediating com ochre series are crucial it was from you're welcome thank you for your service the i dunno it's funnier in that video first of all first of all i think it's crazy that she asks if the officer's body cam

his arm before incriminating herself because what was she going to do if the body camera was off oh it's not recording quick dog lapping over their head let's get out of here just hit him and secondly i love how she does that thing like if you notice that she does that thing that white people do where they act like it hurts to pull rank over you english she likes you they do no turns out i'm on the cheap that i didn't want to bring it up but i am the people love doing that shit don't get old can i get a late check out from my room be like i'm sorry sir we can accommodate you all but i do own the hotel yeah i'm brad radisson yeah that's what i love about black people there's no pretending no blaming on pretending that it pays

them to wield the power we have to tell you i'm sorry sir we can't do late checkout for you will check out for me bitch i own is all the shit i got when i was the quadratus and he can tell you you can check out the map after this video came out the mayor of tampa suspended this police chief and because of the pressure she was forced to resign which can i just say is the biggest waste of a scandal of old time this is what do you do you realise there are police chiefs were stolen millions of dollars in drug money mean she's out here like yeah pollutants rings and drove personnel on the highway but enough about that let's move onto a story that had the internet buzzing all weekend and it's about artificial intelligence which by the way is not when you regurgitating atlantic article and act like you thought of it for yourself no four years people have been wondering

when we would see the next step in natural language processing from the world of a high and it looks like the future is already a new artificial intelligence is astounding the internet with its ease of use and human like writing ability chat jpg was into the public last weekend and many have already posted there interactions with the bought so far it's real television scripts fixed coding errors and even explained scientific concepts in the voice of a pirate that's right for years people have been saying robots might be able to pack boxes but they will never be able to write a poem like human beings well it turns out your shitty poetry has some competition because i don't know if you've used this chatbots but it is insane not only can it understand the question you're asking and then teach about the most complicated topics that can design lesson clan it can give you the infamy

and it's not regurgitating in its explaining it you it can also right out the answers as if a pirate was teaching you amazing that is like quantum physics is one but a pirate on top of that i wish i had this technology is a kid only reason i failed any subject the teacher was boring

if blackbeard was teaching me about physics i would have remembered everything jar light operates as both a wave and a particle the same way you can operate as both human and fresh food walked applying the elvis not obviously obviously this technology has a lot of people asking is this going to replace my job as a teacher or as a receptionist journalist or even an author and the truth is we don't really know but it is interesting to see how our fears about ai have shifted radically over the years in the eightys and ninetys we thought that in the future people would be like to jam machines wiping out the human race and now our fear is that in the future

these machines keep writing love letters to my wife she's going to wave me you've got to admit you've got to admit it's weird that we have this obsessed with robots talking like humans but we all hate talking to actual humans quick everyone's using this like wow it's like i'm talking to my mom and say hey your mom's actually calling you right now and let it go to voicemail let it go to voicemail asking if it's proud of me the world cup in today's knockout games portugal absolutely obliterated switzerland six to one match now i guess receive i should soon doesn't get involved in wars but the major oil companies have today is how the north african nation of morocco poor powerhouse space and i know that

won't make up for the fact that spain once colonized a part of morocco but it goes a long way it rarely does the international news the government of indonesia has just officially banned all sex outside of marriage yes with a penalty of up to one year in prison that's going to make we had conversation in indonesian prisons like near for murder what are you in for a mediocre night with

and in some major legal use the trump organization has been found guilty of seventeen cafe national clients and you know what that means donald trump is going to prison the visit all the lower ranking people who did this without his knowledge or his permission because we all know that's how that works in the world right all the successes in organization their due to the genius of donald trump all the crimes he had no ideas like that's right folks i have zero control the things i run which is why you should vote for major run the country so i can run it like one of my companies which add one era and i don't even

we can move on to our main story in the run up to the midterms one of the major issues for voters across the land was crime in fact any time you turned on the news you will

i want to see stories likeness business owners across the country are stepping up security as they report brazen shoplifting we ve all seen the videos shoplifting at supermarkets across the usa is out of control handbag hall brazen banded who cops i walked out with all these stolen handbags shoplifting epidemic highlighted by this viral video and a wall greens last week shoplifting ease up three hundred percent as video a brazen thieves leading with their arms laden with stolen merchandise continue to shock of all americans shoplifting has gotten so bad this year right aid is considering literally putting everything behind showcases yeah you hear that shoplifting has gotten so bad that then locking everything behind showcases or when the person who unlocks a showcase then left behind a showcase to you what do you do yes on the almost every day every avenue

we've horrible these you know about people blatantly breaking the law and stealing what doesn't belong to and i don't care what anyone says there zero excuse for shoplifting zero excuse even in the instances where you find yourself waiting in line four have the six open it does but the still only decided to hire one cashier which makes you feel like they're taunting you showing you how fast it could be but they just don't want it to be so then you think oh you're just going to go and use the self checkout but then there's an error because you didn't put the item in the bagging area or because you put it in too early or too late and now you have to wait for the supervisor to come over and ask are you trying to buy this no i just enjoy holding shampoo yeah that's what i'm doing yes i'm trying to find the they give you that look they give you that look like and then they wave the magical key fob and then even in that instance it is not justified even when it's justified

not justified to steal what if i told you what if i told you that the biggest theft isn't people stealing from companies what if i told you the biggest theft is companies stealing from people you might ask how or why timed out and another in school much if you dont know now you know would you like a job you making a simple agreement with you employ right you do the work they give you pay that's the very foundation that jobs are built on and yet all over the country all over the world in fact employers on hold the end of the deal imagined working and never getting paid it's a growing problem called wage that's waged after when a worker is paid less than their legally entitled to such as when there i pay for working overtime or work off the clock without getting paid

or are denied legal meal breaks sixty seven letter carriers say their paychecks were changed to make it look like they worked less hours then they actually did workers at heart is an carl's junior have filed does it state and federal complaints including allegations of wage that manipulated overtime to unfair labour practices about ten thousand people are saying to partly force them to work off the clock to boost the bottom line which theft is the costly crime in the country robbing you workers have fifteen billion dollars per year more than car thefts burglaries and other larceny combined yeah that's right the costliest crime in the united states is actually being committed by corporations so i guess instead of following people around the stall should regard should be hovering over seals at their desk

actually looking over the common need you to go ahead and put that person's salary back where it belongs like oh sorry i didn't see that i had that yeah i bet you didn't i think we can all agree nobody nobody should be doing work that then not getting paid for because i'm then that's not a job now you'll volunteering at a fast food restaurant and who do that who's that i owe me i'm not in it for the money i mean if for the love of childhood obesity and by the way by the way wage stiffed isn't just when companies don't pay employees for the work that they have done in some in

this is employee as fine really shitty ways to actually make their employees pay them for example there was a restaurant owner who confiscated his employees tips at the end of this shift and called it i swear to god cleaning feet the nfl open raiders would doc that chile is cheerleaders pay for shit like wearing the wrong color nail polish this example of creative ways theft might be my favorite of all this is fantasy gentleman's club and grand junction and this is the twenty four page class action lawsuit claiming fantasy gentleman's club has been exploding his workers for years among other charges dancers accused the club of cutting into their take home pay with excessive fines fifty dollars have dancers don't share tips with the dj insecurity a hundred bucks to change the schedule there's even fine for complaining to customers about their personal lives i'm sorry what

is the biggest bullshit of all you can't find strippers for complaining to customers about their personal lives i first of all how can even tell that vehicle and not just sing along to the drake songless playing you don't know you don't know and second of all couldn't complain about their lives than i would they be to convince customers into spending more than they plan to help save them from this life show what you're saying is we got the champagne room then you can move would meet us cargo is that it when there's a lot of reasons businesses are able to get away with this festival wage theft tends to target people with the least ability to fight back like hourly workers and undocumented immigrants making matters worse the government agencies who are supposed to be the watchdogs against wage theft are understaffed and underfunded oh and when companies do get caught stealing here's what happens to them we gaza has agreed to pay twenty six million dollars to settle accusations of wage staff

thousand long running class action law suit at corporate run locations in california do u s labour departments as walmart will pay four point eight million dollars in back wages and damages to more than forty five hundred employees amazon agreed to pay eight point two million dollars to settle a wage theft lawsuit and crispy cream was ordered to pay workers more than one point one million dollars after investigators found widespread and systematic failure to pay workers what they were owed so strange all of us theft but there was no mention of anyone going to jail but how will they learn the lesson and before you say but trevor you can put a corporation in jail says who says that we say corporations of people so what

in america treat them like american people laughed every single time a company gets caught stealing their workers' wages you know they should do they should enter the company headquarters to be taken to prison yeah better to take the actual headquarters put it in prison do you hear that amazon same day delivery is going to be a lot harder when you have to smuggle that airfryer and your whole raft but just because it's all too easy for companies to steal from their workers that doesn't mean workers are powerless wage theft has been one of the issues driving an increase in unionization and california has just passed a law saying that for the first time anywhere in the country wages and payment rules for all fast food workers will be set not by

why is but by a council of experts appointed by the state yes a council the experts the finally a government job that trump is actually qualified for for some workers waiting for the bureaucracy of the courts or the government students have been just takes too long which is why one construction worker in england expressed his anger in a more physical a row over six hundred pounds they will end up costing so much more to put right this drugs from work was so angry at allegedly not being paid that he took drastic driving a mini excavator into the newly finished hotel that heat help ok ok i know this seems bad but is it not the guidance work didn't get paid and any undid the work seems like a fair deal to me

it reminds me of the reminds me of a very wise thing my grandfather used to tell me you'd say or a remand but rather if you want to screw someone over make sure they don't on a board those authorised and yes my grandfather was nelson mandela was indeed a next time you turn the tv on in all the news about people shoplifting from drug stores before assuming there is a crime maybe just for a moment think they couldn't just me getting their wages back a totally different way and if you don't know now you know what if he were trendy apparel company facing an avalanche of demand to ensure more customers can buy more sure polite jackets you call ibm to automate your ip infrastructure with gay i now you're systems monitor themselves what used to take hours takes minutes and you have any commerce plus designed to handle son spikes and overall demand as an actual overalls

let's create ity systems that rule up their own sleeves i bm let's create learn more at i bm dot com slash ity dash automation this year's edition is brought to you by hyundai have you ever thought about your car personality what's your ride do you like a classic fully gas powered engine or are you a best of both worlds type with a convenient hybrid ride driving on battery power with gas in reserve just in case whichever your vibe there's one hyundai tucson to match and a power trying to get you there hyundai's twenty twenty three tucson lineup pair the tech you want with sleek and stylish designs they paid attention to all the details this seats the dash and the available panoramic roof you name it hyundai thought of it all while making sure each trim has enough room to hold space for your grocery runs that civil nights and tailgates okay hyundai when it comes to your journey hyundai is there for every mile visit hyundai usa dot com to learn more about the twenty twenty three

on data on the twenty two every to his arm plugin hybrid is only thought in california colorado connecticut main massachusetts merely new jersey new york organ rhode island in vermont ukrainian president vladimir zalewski who today was officially declared i am magazine's person of the year the you might be happy but i'll tell you now vladimir putin is going to be so mad the next time he's in the waiting room at the dentist's is going to be like no with magazine or what the fuck congrats vladimir zelensky and the ukrainian people and can rest time magazine on its annual reminder that time mags

still exists in more international youth germinal authorities this morning arrested twenty five of cuban on two and one followers twenty five members for plotting to storm parliament and overthrow the governments which yes is disconcerting news but once again proof of how inspiring american culture is all around the world even in germany they would like you should just terms a capital and we should also of course a government and then we're going to hang my parents in technology news apple music has just announced a brand new carry oki mode that will allow you to turn down the vocals on songs so that you can sing them instead this is great use for anyone who is thinking i love this adele song but what it was

why someone who sucks the dunno i think it'll be a lot of fun you know and now spotify is also adding this feature to it's podcast so you can shop your own covert theories over joe rogan is going to be in some legal news and illinois woman is suing the makers of t g i friday's is mozzarella sticks get this because she discovered that they contained chad a cheese but no mozzarella why she suing if you ask me i'm i'm impressed the these she sticks have choosing them at all if you like most american cheese products if you look at the fine print is like technically this is sawdust and car and sarah but we were thinking about cheese when we were mixing yeah let's move on to some of the big stories of the day starting with george

the state sitting states after you of campaigning and election in november and then another one of election yesterday the senate race in georgia is finally most actually over in georgia is closely watched senate run off democrat raphael warnock walking away with the win in the nation's final contest of the midterms the incumbent narrowly defeating his republican challenger herschel walker and cementing the democrats majority in the senate now a fifty one forty nine advantage locker was handpicked by former president trump and is at least the fifth trump backed senate candidate to be defeated warnock when gives the party an extra seat to help advance their agenda is my honor to the four most powerful words spoken in a democracy the people

i spoken the congratulations to rough are warnock i mean i thought the four most powerful words in american democracy were here is your sticker but sure i guess the people have spoken works too but yes democrats have now won fifty one seats in the senate and you realize what that means basically nothing because they lost the house but still fifty one is bigger than fifty so it's cool it's cool and you couldn't have had a race between two more different candidates when you think about it like when you take a moment when you step away from the race you understand how crazy this was you had raphael warnock a pasta a pasta who was preaching at the same church as m l k

partial walker a man who thinks i'm ok is how you spell milk despite that it was it was really really could in fact if i was rapporteur my picture speech wouldn't have been his smiling and i would have been a lot more differ he's a gracious man he was talking about democracy and america's promise i would have been up there like are you people can anyone this ship you gotta give me two point went over the walking the sector may come on you he's a better man than the one up returns to washington and herschel walker goes home in defeat but don't feel bad virginal guys he actually took the news quite well get his people were like don't get this should always get you down herschel he's like they won't get me down like the senate greater than you think

for the senate yeah okay so what is it let's move on to some major news about coronavirus the most americans covert has become something just tried to ignore while you live your life mosquitoes or jury duty meanwhile in china they'd been treating covered like an existential danger i took every man woman and child but believe it or not after weeks of historic protests from the chinese but that is all about to change china's government has made a radical shift this morning officially moving away from its strict zero

but policies now this move appears to be in response to widespread protests in recent weeks including some of the boldest demonstrations this country is seen in decades china's national health commission held a press conference to announce that mandatory covert testing for most people will end immediately they will no longer have to show a negative test results in public places and those armies of health workers in hazmat seats will stop blocking down apartment complexes also people with cove it won't be forced into state quarantine they'll be able to recover all that and a commitment to vaccinating the elderly sounds like common sense but it's a huge climb down for change in paying and the communist party who watched protests erupt in over twenty cities with calls for freedom not locked down i'm happy for the people of china

i genuinely because following this put these restrictions would surely wild i mean they wouldn't even let you quarantine at home you had to spend it at a government quarantine facility that looks like a terminal at la guardia and that's really messed up because the once all the mining of getting cold it is having an excuse to get out of plants you know what china was like no no no no no you got covert and you've got plans with six hundred strangers that's what you got when you off during the story i would love to see an american citizen and a chinese citizen sit down to talk about covert because you always hear americans talking about how they feel as though they were oppressed by the covert restrictions here yet the chinese person will be like it was brutal i was literally brought it up in my home beaten up by the police and sent to a quarantine can be like i feel you this one summer got ass to leave and apple bees we are not different are all my friend we both suffer let us move on

some news from the world of air travel if you fly a lot then you know how boarding a plane goes you get to your gates try to sneak in line with the boarding group ahead of yours you put your luggage into the overhead bin sideways so no one else can use it and then you sit down and you put your phone into airplane mode and it has to be an airplane well because if anyone calls you while you're on a plane the plane immediately crashes into an elementary school that's how it works it's science or we notice well it turns out in europe all of the is about to change could this be the potential end of putting your phone on airplane mode maybe when you take a flight starting in june airplane mode won't be mandatory of light in the european union the european commission recently rule that airlines can provide five g technology on board the plane which allows passengers to send and receive calls and text messages europe's primary

passengers in europe make phone calls while on a plane because everytime i've been on a plane i've always thought man i wish everyone was having a different loud conversation right now baby copied the only one who's allowed to make noise come on man laughs i know some people like this i think it sucks feel like as a society we are quickly running out of places that give you an excuse not to take a call you know you used to be able to say sorry i wasn't home mr call on cell phone kill that then you have to pretend you're going into a tunnel oh yes a little jeanette would love to have this very but i may not have been the tunnels got reception then subways got reception now the plains of reception what a shoe lonelier schedule for not being able to

if the call is that you're on t mobile but i do what i mean i guess if you if you really need to make a call on a plane it's not the worst thing in the world to have an option but just hope the pilots don't have access to this feature the meteor storm she's got the white button and nature's all right greg this is going to call your concentration and skills as a pilot that you can do this just focus just focus oh shit wendy that's why i was

i know i'm not doing anything you know me i'm just living my life the what if you were a global energy company with operations in scotland technologists in india customers all on different systems so you need to pull it together so you colin ivy and red hat to create an open hybrid cloud platform now data is available anywhere securely and your digital transformation is helping find new ways to unlock energy around the world let's create one

hybrid cloud that can change an industry idea let's create learn more at five pm dot com there's no irritation is brought to you by hyundai have you ever thought about your car personality what's your vod do you like a classic fully gas powered engine or are you a best of both worlds type with a convenient hybrid ride driving on battery power with gas reserves just in case whichever your vibe there's one hyundai tucson to match and a power trying to get you there hyundai's twenty twenty three tucson lineup pair the tech you want with sleek and stylish designs they paid attention to all the details this seats the dash and the available panoramic roof you name it hyundai thought of it all while making sure each trim has enough room to hold space for your grocery runs festival nights and tailgates okay hyundai when it comes to your journey hyundai is there for every mile visit hyundai usa dot com to learn more about the twenty twenty three

handy to start the twenty two every to his arm plugin hybrid is only thought in california colorado connecticut main massachusetts mail in new jersey new york oregon rhode island in vermont honestly most importantly i briefly everything i am i remember i'm the moon we started the show we couldn't get enough people to fool an audience and now that we think it's good that's how comedy is money enough i remember my shows people didn't they won't tickets in eleven the empty seats and then i look at this now i don't take it for granted ever every seat that has ever been filled to watch something that i'm doing i always appreciate until the end

see that's what's behind it so thank you thank you to the people who watch the people who share the cliffs you know how everyone has an opinion the have always been kind enough and gracious enough to know what even if it's a critique doesn't even have to be praised but some people will watch and i don't like it when you do this but i but i watch i want to say i appreciate those people even people who hate watched we still got the ratings thank you i'm eternally grateful to you and this is random for some but special shouted through two black women no i didn't i bought can be credited with having these

the ideas of people like ultraboost so smart and you join them like i'm the coot you think teaches me you know who do you think has shaped me nourished me informed me from my mom my gran my aunt all these black women in my life but then in america as well if you i always tell people if you truly want to learn about america talk to black women because unlike everybody else black women cannot afford to brown and find out black people understand how hard it is when things go bad especially in america but any place where black people exist with it's brazil or south africa wherever it is when things go bad black people

well then it gets worse for them but black women in particular they know what she is genuine he will always be shocked to be like why do black women turn out the way they do in america why do they vote the way that yeah because they know what happens if things do not go the way it should they cannot afford to have around and find out and to black women who have taught me all of them i mean the scholars online that you know the authors everybody the rocks and gave the tracing macmillan cartons in all remember the names you know the zoe tumbler disease the tech brilliant brilliant women have taken the time to inform me to educate me to argue with me you know the toronto burks who in all laughed with me talking about everything from sexual assault to just what life is like

i'll tell you now do yourself a favor you truly want to know what to do or how to do it or maybe the best way of the most the most equitable way talk to black women there there are a lot of the reason that i'm hansel and grateful to them a wasteful to every single one of you has been on a thank you once again this holiday season please consider supporting feeding america the largest hunger relief organization in the united states if you want to see

their amazing work of getting nourishing food to the people who need it most then please donates at the link below the deal issue with governor years this subscribe to the audiovisual on youtube for exclusive continent in stream episodes anytime paramount plus there's been a comedy central podcast where the lucky landslides and you can get lagging just about anywhere governments but we ve got clear runway and of others five or we're just going to circle appear awhile and get lucky know nothin like that it's just these cash pride is that of quick so i suggest you sit back keep your truth table upright and start getting looking free it like you landslides dot com are you feeling lucky no purchase necessary boyd where prohibited by law eighteen plus terms and conditions apply see website for details