Savings, Debt, Education, Relationships
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
For the headquarters, Ramsay Solutions broadcasting from dollar carbon to studio. This is today, Ramsay Show where America hangs out had a conversation about your life and your money. My name is Anthony O Neill CO hosting with me on this hour is Doktor John Bologna, triple eight eight to five five, two to five triple eight eight to five five, two to five give us a call will lead
conversation with you going out to Arizona. This have a conversation with Gray Gregg good afternoon how kinda today- and I hope I can get him at all on the white lab.
Us we're down to just one on our house about thirty eight
I was in the house.
The third emails and left Greg
Congratulations value, work hard and thank you and poor from
work a previous employer. She was given stock in lieu of raises and she purchase the stock employee stock plan
and about thirty thousand dollar em
we debated whether to cash that and saw that house
and one shot doing two steps. The spread out. The capital gains
We're just wondering what you guys had in mind:
What's your household income right now, great
bringing home is about fifty three to gas of thirty three thousand dollars outside of your mortgage. Do you have any other debt? No, so, and you have a fully funded
you ve already. Well, that's what we were using the stock as the thirty thousand Bernard Emergency Fund care and
resting. So right now, outside of the stocks you dont, have you don't have thirty six months. Any actual savings account right now, Colonel now, there's like by Brandon, hidden, ok, five grand and savings account, and I guess right now, you're you already are not investing fifteen percent of the income into retirement. I am your ok. Here's thy gears p at work. Ok, ok, ok, all right, Southgate, not you're, sixty two thousand and that one ok. What I want you to do is maybe get we gotta get the same as account up before we pay off the house. I want you to get at least three to six months.
Has liquid inside of a savings account. Stocks are not for emergencies. Stocks is especially single socks. I'm not a fan of those on a day is not a fan of em.
If you were to have a fully funded emergency. Fine- and you already addressing
say: ok, how have no property taken the single socks out, paying off your house? Now you one hundred percent debt free. I will have no problem with that. Here's, where do have a problem ruling to pay off the house without having a fully funded emergency fund, which means ever gonna jump over baby set number three go to baby set number six, and I
in a will not move as you do that Gregg? So what I would say, sit tight, get this fully funded emergency fund up to at least three months, minimum then yeah, I think socks. I don't have a problem. You take him out on pain of your house, but I want you to pay off the house before you have a fully funded emerge safer,
I am looking to retiring twenty. Twenty three go. How long would it take to get three months into your savings account? You have no other dead.
Now that the right down on a good, but you know man, there you go there, you go. You sent, you said a key theme right there, I'm glad you said it. I need you glad and download every dollar tonight. I need you and your wife to sit down and just need glad unless all your income, the universe, all of your expenses at the bottom, that issue issue equals zero than what you do that Gregg. When I want to do also as well. Look winner see, what can you cut? What can you off fall back on? You can go ahead and get three mice, for example, whether what is your mortgage may Marino about thousands, fifty
you get a thousand feet, the all utilities? What would you ballpark dead at? How much is that all utility- probably some time, one about four, fifty roughly four fifty array and as far as any medical bills for you and your wife
I made you paid the what did the one off yesterday, our now Tarzan, but what he's been on gas and food.
Gas is probably
now, you know you five weak from a truck her car. It's probably thirty bucks for two weeks. Ok, so you see what I'm doing
a fifty week. Maybe it s a lot of money for just two people hundred fifty thousand,
the well Anthony we get seven drink.
Oh, so you have the ring. You watch him all every week now, but you feel like I've got the feeling when they're here I mean a hundred fifty thousand we'd ass, six hundred thousand
at helping us where you can save somebody out there and grab you better. Tell it.
Gotta tell you showed a unique: he became alma. You know
few days it is you know, but do you see what I just saw just literally went down and just
state and I'm curious how much you and your wife spin on your grandchildren a month. I couldn't tell you see, not, I wouldn't say a whole lot gun. Here's the thing great. You and your wife need to get on the budget, and you said
I believe, with your income right now, you spinning six hundred dollars a month on groceries and I get it. You want to have all the nice knacks, the cookies, the candy, the pop sis goals for for all your kids when I come over, but am, I think, destined for the goals that you're trying to do so. You can retire by twenty twenty three. You need to get a fully funded emergency fund into beyond which you at your age, I'm doing six months, I'm I'm gonna, take those single socks out. I'm gonna pay off my home and arms can be focusing on that. You need to have a conversation which a case like a guy's these next six most of our lives when actually switch, look better than a changeable debate, because your mom now China retire. We want to make sure we we we retire correctly and health. These it is where we don't put any stress.
To our kids, so that what you can focus on you and your family, you Know- and so that's what I was highly highly recommend right now for you. What would you think about selling the single stocks to fully fun emergency phone? I'm aim.
Excellent have does another ass, I'm not facing sucks. I really dont care, but I think if I was here, I would just waited fund that myself and take the socks out and is put straight into my house.
Dashes me, I don't know, I'm not bind any single socks. I do Grove sought mutual funds, but right now I think humanist, wiping the focus on doing that because he's gonna pay some penalties, ISAF cancels out the taxes and that taxes, the song. So that's what I was
great question two: eight to five five, two to five,
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Going out to LOS Angeles, California would have a conversation there with Lucy Lucy good afternoon. How can you got to be- and I hope
They are coming. Thank you so much for taking my car you're, so welcome. Thank you. So much given us a cause, such an audit. We help you saw
like an overwhelming amount of debt, and I'm just trying to figure out what my next step is. Male beef coming up at the end,
Montana, haven't found a place I'm gonna contemplating like do. I really need to settle for renting out her room, or can I get like a one bedroom apart man, because I feel like it:
the debt. I have I'm never going to get out of it. Ok, how much the slowdown you saw young. How are you Lucy? I am twenty eight right, no dummy a nice little millennia
and I was sure gross inkling about almost fifty five key gave to define clear how much debt are you in.
I have a hundred and thirty three k of school there and there I only hope the download what my car payment, how much I guess it one more time you went out only fellow Lucy,
How soon can we lose you Lucy, I'm here
You hear me your air, you got there, you go, we lost you glad to have you back either. No private
now how much she? Oh, your car and three thousand three k C, have no credit cards in ITALY that great credit cards, but I'll take off broke out. So you have credit cards are cool great so that we can make them
cut up I'd. How much you pay for rent right now.
Right now, I'm friend Tina Room with friends and I only page seven ten, not including utilities, seventeen article and how much can you get a blunt barrow apartment for out there in California.
Where am I found one just under a thousand dollars, not including utilities but including like hot water, of course ask now? What do you want to do the masses question? Do you want to continue remainder? Are you? Is it a problem with where you are right now with renting a room.
So this specific is ending five. I have to find someone else to go on. I feel like. I would like to feel like a sense of independence, which is why
I really would like to highlight one bedroom apartment, but at the same time like this, that does feel like it,
in over me, and it causes me like so much anxiety? Would you take oil together
thirty grand student loans. Would you major? I went. I wanted a private cars
an education, american family, therapists, boss
Are you using a degree right now? Yes, right this ass good eye, so here's the thing: if you found it
heart me, that's a less than a thousand dollars. You say right around.
Thousand hours gripe prison afire with that, because right now you Youtube
seeing about right around four thousand forty five hundred thousand lives so about net you gonna be right around, but about thirty seven
two dollars. So a thousand hours can be right there on a line of where you should be at twenty five percent of your take home pay and so far, which again an apartment. Now I want you do some more research, so Lucy echoes what have you could find you another room, mate and that you can live with the keep your Marge and down on your rent, at least for another two years, because we go
attack this debt and we gotta get your income up three on is fifty five thousand hours and allay is not a lot of money that small stopping grounds. My brother lives there. So I totally understand the whole California lifestyle in the cost of living out there, and so have you ever masses question. Have you ever considered moving away from California
And because of the licensing I wanted to get licence cared so that I can move out after yes, so how much so yet Michael dash ago? Ok, when can you move in California.
It might take about a year or two before I get licensed by sounds good. Since he was gonna do go ahead, a move, get the apartment, get focus on getting a licence right. Then you gonna move even making seventy five eighty k and you need to go ahead and pay off your car. When you move you gonna get this three thousand dollars paid off a s. A p due to be driving a car is going to free up some more money. Arrive there. What you gonna do with much to sit tight of, I'm gonna. Send you a copy of my destroy: yes, stood alone: debt, quick Red, Kelly's, gonna jump on a farm. Would you, when we hang up she's gonna, get your information? I'm gonna put that in about a one to read this. Could this is good
walk you through on how to pay off these hundred and thirty three thousand hours as it allows at. You have kept him king, but dont, be stressed. I write you you're not alone, and they are willing to walk you through this process. This book is gonna. Give you the step by step process is eighty. Eight pages are right, there's no bluff in it. There's no intro. When I get straight to the point. This is what you need to be doing today. Seeing these stood allows goin, but your bright young lady, loose
and I believe, John, that she's gonna be all right yeah in Lucy. I want you to hear too.
From here from a fellow mental health, personal guy number,
and I want you to hear a couple things you mentioned out loud. You mentioned that
really warrant a private Kristen Couch and you got it.
Real real, expensive and you're gonna,
you to pay on it for a while right,
also really want your independence.
You also really wanna live in California and live in a cool place. So all
really really want? If you are seeing a client, you would tell them the same thing about to tell you, which is a some point. You're gonna have to decide what the reality
what truth is and how that lines up against what you'd call them, what you really want? The second thing is this:
to get with your clinical supervise you. You get your hours in right, so you can get your licences that correct so
I want you to ask for ways it. You can see
it's on the weekend that you can take extra shifts on sundays when people are desperate to see clients end and fruitful work on
the commission's work on Sunday. I want you to.
Take on as many extra shifts as you can, if he will
Our she will sign off on you seeing private clients, whatever you gotta due to begin to attack this
you gunners earn more money for the cortical wants that you that you have right in an ant these
Would you go through that book and pay off that debt becomes a priority? It is heavy it.
Is hard industrial overwhelming? Don't you get overwhelmed like Anthony, said, follow plan attack it and dumb
really do the data point you toggle she's got Anthony is her wants enter income ripe absence?
this deficit scenario she's in so she got a doll back. The wants and she's got a crank up that income chess evokes on vision in clearly pain, offer cars first thing: that's gonna be cleared s going to be easy. Three thousand dollars she's doing about forty five hundred hours grow some months or she should be able to do that without no other over the next two three months, because she has the Dep a losing his next thing. I mean I need you. Do this to day arrived cut up credit cars, our once you get tempted. I dont want something to come up on what you get any ideas. Languages used my credit card. No, no man cut him up
as a matter of that? If you cut him up and when you cut it doesnt matter, if, when you cut him up loose able to take a picture- and I want you to put it on east ground- I want you to tag me in it
Anthony O Neill told me to cut up my crew,
cars today because I'm taken over my future and I'm gonna reposted
so America, that this bright twin,
eight year old. Who is but to be one of the best people
Thus there are presented and they are ambitious doctors out there just did a huge huge she.
I think one of my men tours and professors doctor.
The marble she's just a saint end and really spoke wisdom into my life. For years. She said: mental health practitioners cannot effectively help people if they are worried about their bills, while they know
I can't write, but if you are not a hole through word, Toronto lights out on or I've got this while
heavy debt hanging over me. You cannot effectively
two into somebody else's space and be the light to them that you need them to be, and so they attack the deck
thing off and you will find yourself as a clinician better as a as a friend
nor better and as a community of better to remember, ass absolute get it get it get it I'm gonna, listen, I don't know what to do. Their doctors can focus. Lawyers can focus scant focus if their trouble in debt and if, in future, the paycheck stress as well life. I can't focus our movement of dates, for that
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in restrictions apply, aren't Anthony
the question that I'm
stood in how you gonna respond to this are the scope. So today's question comes from Tracy in Connecticut. She visits Dave, Ramsay dot com to ask six years ago, six years ago, half a decade ago
plus one while we were.
Through a rough time. My husband and I moved into a property that belongs to my parents and they ve never charges rent overlap.
Couple years. I've been trying to convince my husband that we need to move out and rent somewhere since we aren't ready to buy.
He doesn't want to rent and would rather stay here until we are able to buy. I'm afraid
Come comfortable with our living arrangement. Ya. Think I feel like this.
Range? Man is hindering our ability to be mature adults and I'm losing respect for myself and my husband. What should I do? How do I convinced
minute with overstayed when him and
Parents think this arrangement is ok
There's so much here, man break it down their Doktor Simon. I'm gonna ask you I'm gonna run through some questions like I would ask somebody if they just pop is in front of you go around question everyone you have
if free for six years
still not in a position to get your own place. Tell me about that and number two
the last couple of years, even trying to convince your husband it. You need to move out how
convince your huh like what it what is what's going on for a couple of years? That does not think it right that you
move out and read somewhere since you are ready to buy number three.
He doesn't want to rent he'd rather stay here until we are able to buy honest.
That sentiment,
you are actually working towards getting ready to buy robot understand a math part in there. You go that way.
We do number, I don't even know on number. Forty were dry them before, I'm afraid it's become
both are living arrangement. Yes, anytime, you put somebody in a place where they have no rents, no bills and just gonna be able to post. You are correct. That is a recipe for comfortable living arrangement number five.
Failing this arrangement is hindering our ability to be mature adults and I'm losing respect from US self Emma husband, there,
your honor park is
making a rent free arrangement from your in laws.
Mature, less responsible, less respectful. What you think Anthony that, at the end
Our second ask more questions. Right may not design earlier so much did I really want to dive into one? Why did you I'll go there in the beginning
and then I, unlike you, never to ok YA, been their six years and you're still not in a position to do something. It are you not in a position to purchase a
Oh, are you not in a position to even moved out again? Apartment is over here. What I would recommend
to her and I again I'm nightmares are when they leave this majority or you, because I want to make sure that in on respecting my lame,
What's a good pan euro as a single person
I want to make sure that them to actually of all the parties and laws, the husband in her need to have an honest conversation and we need to come to an end date to win. Ok, when will this part
ship it. When are you all moving out? When are we,
then gout, here's to date, and
from here moving forward at the wife in the husband need to have a conversation. I that's our date. What are we doing to?
that date and right now, they're not in a position to buy. No, oh, no help regenerate. I reiterate they should be in a position. They should be
debt free to be honest. They should have no no major bills because they eat
living rent free for six months, sixty
Six years, I'm arrives at six months six years,
I wish I could just call into the show I really wish they could just call into the show. If you hearing us right now call into the showed an exciting doubt the day or myself, because I have a lot of questions, I
the focus on mature adults and losing respect one of the cornerstones of maturity. To me is this idea of intense analogy: yeah: do you have a plan? I don't think it
immediately suggest you aren't mature. If you are
to live rent free in an in laws home. Why you get your stuff together, I think the immaturity
I'm still said again later: there's no plan yet is no objective. There's no help we're gonna do this for seven years. Don't pay cash for our house, and
clear this up, we're not calling them image or what we're saying that decision they that you ve made over the last six years is image or and
you click on the same page with each other right right. One of use loosen respect fur for both of you. Your try
convince one another like that's just not how relationships work. So what should I
Do how do I convince my husband that we have overstayed it
very hard to convince some body spare hearted vis. A man should be real wealth.
Works both ways to manner
especially hard headed, but it works both ways. I think the ideas to less
convince somebody. Try to corner quote change their mind
and really need it get out
three house, noggin you're talkin?
six years. This is a whole different level of investment. Even get out of here.
And really let him here not now
not complaining, not unloosen. Respect for you, but here is my vision for us.
I want us to have our own place. I want us to
b to gather and have shared goals that d
include my parents that include us working together, move forward and latin somebody here that that's different, then hey what about this? What what this would with this
You disagree with me so brave I I don't know if I will say that wife should come back and say here's the vision that I have for us here in Europe
a dream gay. I get it s not about to say that I mean that some Ladys, maybe like than he really about the divisions that come from the both of you.
Created, but a start with one is at odds with one thing. I want you to hear my heart in here's, my passion, here's my vision, forest and here's the deal parents
Tracy nourishment under their thumb. They of course they're gonna.
Rate with that arrangement. So to practical step periods,
think, is prey. Ass gotta give
words and wisdom to have a comes h which have a conversation with the husband away?
in laws. After that conversation, you in the husband come back sit down, have a meeting with the laws and you all go from their gotta dream too
yes,
solid shuts. Would it be urged forces, even though our walk through the valley of the shadow of death? I will fear evil, for you are with.
Your rod and your staff, they comfort, Doktor Henry Link, says we generate fears. While we sit, we overcome them by action.
To our ever gonna. Have a conversation with Thailand,
I learned good afternoon. How cannot today- and I hope
They are doing a little bit nervous around the shovel horses
we're going up, so
Louis disgrace strike
aware, I'm going you a divorce in charge.
And just wander. I'm sorry baby steps here just to available for money. Just one destiny!
when I get a little bit better financially. How do I put this
divorce and child custody lawyer before the baby steps in baby cept
Do you know what you know
but where I should really be doing with that.
Do you have a
Payment arrangement with them are already have usually are you holding a bill in your hand? What.
Payment arranged alone.
I would, however, like to conjure up. I argued down
You're so divided by.
Girl was two thousand dollars because she said you most likely to be contested.
Five thousand hijacked tolerant Tyler to slow down
we'll bitten, talk directly into the phone,
I know you look nervous man, they're, u buy talked Miller,
talk to me. Like I'm old, I got you on hours no more times when we start with the divorce in chapter two thousand dollars bar and then he says no cycles
be contested, so you raised with five thousand and I'm currently paid to seventy five along okay. So if you
he has worked out a plan with you at it too. Just pay the full divorce.
In instalment of two seventy five a month and we're gonna Anthony
for even a role that your baby steps asking to be one of your normal bills
You may want to move up is as closely as possible, but sound like you got
There are things going on in your life. I am as
concerned about your heart, health and making sure you ve got people around you that you trust and love and that you are focusing on healing after divorce being connected us as much as possible with kid
that I am about you,
obsessively trying to figure out where this goes in the baby steps-
Youtube as a divorce. Final long, have you been divorced? So
even when I tell you
some confusion about
her eyes. She carries day one place.
One time very long, arms hearted really just locate her go to serve paper,
Do you like the kind of started this past us about a month and a half,
but we ve been out does not together
of yours now does not have the funds to be altered.
Could I didn't know that weren't even took pavements house
I did not entirely to save up
where's. Your clearly took the awhile
you're only with me because of that situation like a sailor, ter sure ass. I M Thankful, he is with me
Naturally, it is all very well but always find
were you work or you Workin Tyler
I now want to fight. Electrician were gone
I'm here
not really wait. I'm actually can be charged to pursue our law enforcement and China guess Pouch,
Did he can't we sought to worry about being a penny, that, on top of trying to get this
divorce take good care of ok, someone
the focus on a couple of things in the right
order gave first be
make sure your son is safe, make sure you are stable with him and make sure that you are
intentionally over connect
with him. Every day, and let me
I want you to spend time with him. Last night I was working on a riding project. I didn't get out until two. I am the first thing I did this morning was, I skipped my work out and I will not put catch with my son in the grass in the mornin. That's over connect
it's me trying to lean back
two relationship that are violated last night we had some stuff goin on last night and I ended up having to work like that is more life, it's part of being there, but I want you to do things like that. Over connect with your son number two continued
directly with your lawyer and their number three in celebration of your sons, birth. They were gonna, give you Ramsay, plus. I want you to follow this
I want you to walk along some. Let your son here you doing this. I want you to stay alive, Kelly's gonna connect with you.
And in an eye and David Pass, Longrange plus it's gonna have
your piece university. I want you to walk through this. It's gonna have the the all the absence gonna have all of the material. It's gonna have come
to the podcast it's gonna. Have everything in this is gonna be a moment for you to begin to look.
Your son, look at your legacy and begin to make some systemic long term changes, and then
work closely with that lawyer, don't let that stuff slide continue to pay your bills and then move on from there, and I love it. I really really do love you advise their man and that there was a question over here earlier that I wanted to ask you earlier. I'm- and I don't see it here- I don't get into it
I say I don't see it here, so I won't answer that question excellent myself down you're good, you good good, but you know that as a good response from activists question for those going through divorces right now, the feeling that life is done, the filling depressed there feeling like there never get remarried.
What should they be doing right now? I'm suit me as inching you ask that I recorded
some Youtube stuff and that a few weeks ago, the
global searches, are s YO folks are search. Engine optimization folks have reported back to us that searches for divorce how to get divorced,
Do you know if you should begin, nor are up all over the world.
MRS or through the roof, and some of that is financial difficulties in relation difficulties in some of that is folks, have realised without
all the business and out all of the distraction just being crammed and
ass was somebody for six months. You realize all this marriage was over a while ago,
and so one of the things I always want books to do number one is to recognise again
It is this all the time we don't make good decisions when we're panic, we don't make good decisions when things your stressed, and so, if you are feeling like you know what I'm cash out, exhale find a councillor. Exhale sit down. Have these hard conversations with departure? It may be tat. It may be time to answer your question directly. I think people often jumped to the divorce part. They are up to the process. Part
dont properly grieved this loss. They don't sit in it and say I'm losing a part of me
losing a a dream. I am losing a ten years down the road. I had a picture, my head of what thinks giving was gonna. Look like I'm beginning to die.
Myself. I losing trusted myself. I trusted myself enough to say,
They were the one and this was it and it didn't work out. So there's all these different moments to
or even to mourn, enter just experience, loss and Anthony?
and not do that by yourself. You gotta find a group
How to find somebody with that you can trust, be vulnerable, would be honest with and really know, raced back under other mess, heal
grieve and then slowly began to take care of your business. Your current relationships that are in your sphere and thin, you think about what's next, then key thing said their wishes to heal degree, take time to take care of yourself right to allow you to think that thought such a thinking to process the thoughts, but then, after that, you need to get around someone.
That way, you can articulate your thoughts and they can help you process thoughts correctly. Ripening call you in your nonsense and you they can unite Tyler. He he's been done for several years right.
Just now get round the money and the challenge, and so every
situations? Different relationship is different, but at the end of the day you ve got aggrieved
gotta understand there are so many different layers to it and losses to sometimes just use a guy once again to this line of thinking to be good food.
That's not how that works usually gets that line and not just when the real reality in the hurt starts and so have in a group of people having counselor or a pastor a couple, a close friend, you can rely on a jest cornerstone grieving properly. I love it. I love, and I just want to ask a question, because I just feel as if
a lot of people are gone through our man. I've got close friends. I've got distant friends it it's it's all over right. Now, sir, it's a real challenge of not did. He has been fine. Thank you
I was a black rocket now, which brow always grow every tonne. I'm willing to share with you and I want to think I'm produces Agnes phone and associate producers can again- and I think you american forgiveness, opportunity to serve you gonna help you you gas. This has been the day rams.
I guess this is James. Childs producer of the day rams issue. Once again, you made the day. Ramsay show one of the top for most popular podcast last year to get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration from the Ramsay network. Is it scribe, followed today, wherever you listen about half way
you're in a rush and living life just going through the motions, build confidence in yourself and learn to trust, the God who created you check out the Christie Ride, show where Christie inspires you to break through your limitations and create the life your proud to live, pale and cresty right. You know it so easy to feel stuck. You live life just going through the motions doing this is doing laundry carpool lines and a whole list of commitments that bring you no joy. We live like that. That's why I want you to check out the Christie Right, so each episode will help you felt competence in yourself and the guy that creating hear more from the Rams network, including Christie Righteous. You listened applaud, catch
hey, it's James producer of the Dave Ramsay show this.
Transcript generated on 2020-09-10.