A boy, energy solutions, broadcasting from the dollar for women Studios Day brand ratio or debtors door measures mortgage taken the place of the Bmw, the status on day Ramsay, your most thank you were joining us open phones, AAA eight to five five, two to five aaa. Eight to five. Five, to five

Stephanie, is on the line starting off this hour in Minneapolis High Stephanie how're. You doing things in our question today: Chirrup, what's up. I have a question about. How to navigate family relationship when you start making like good money, I'm so my husband, I business went from zero to about growth due to him in about a year and a half. It's going really well the trajectory up in its awesome, but I've already started. And we'll come to my boy. Over that time, when we started when we started me the money was pregnant go to tools no matter just like it, like that all we joined a nice Germany area and we get there, like money bags over here that oughta money, and

when they joined the jam? It was you from the lottery for that kind of stuff, so it's just been weird and with the treaty. Three of our business going up and making more money getting to level that we want to achieve and then eventually I just don't know how to navigate We already have a really good relationship when I finally, but it's starting to get a little weird holidays and stuff. When we only tell had gone on so yeah. I just don't know how that will be good relations, number one if you have a good relationship and someone says something that is hurtful- you are able to say that we are so you know I know you brought him anything by that boat when you that it was like you were questioning whether we should be successful and caught her my feelings. I need to say that to you. If you have a good relationship, you can do that if they're just jerks, then

would you have to treat them like jerks, and the thing is happens, is money, doesn't cause things money. My no five things that are already there good things, some good things and bad things. The quality of you. Have a high quality relationship, highly functional. It will become even more so with large. Of money around if you have weak and petty relationships that everyone acts like is ok, but on the surface Then that will be magnified as you have wealth. If you are your daddy is proud of you when you get wealthy be very, very proud of you more but if your daddy is drunk dysfunctional and takes his and has to be king of the hill or he can't yet a conversation, because you screwed in the head and all

sudden. He can't be king of the hill, because your net worth eight times his then your dad he's gonna get worse, you know see what I'm saying. So that's what you watch and for an odd pick up, I Henry Clouds. Boundaries, because that's what this is. It's a boundary issue read through your you'll, enjoy it and it can be with functional things. As simple as you know what, we ve been very, very careful to do with extended family is just not to wait. Don't talk about a lot of stuff that sure now talk about it was I well. I don't know if someone Spokane can really emotionally grasp that. So we're just probably not bring that up. You know I'm always talked about that with extended family or find your things like that and friendship for encryption anyway, I've got

They can't emotionally grasp some other things that we are able to do for charity for ministries. You know I can remember the first time I gave a thousand dollars to something, and I can also remember the first time in over a hundred thousand dollars to something. But you know here that I can't you talk about that now in front of everybody, but its summit, very awkward with a friend of twenty years ago. And so I just have to be pretty common go. You know that talk about their more may lash and multiple like that. Anyway, that's just good conversational manners And I'm not was up, I might not. If you went on a super chaperonage crews, we don't have the dollar but you're not going then you're over you and if you Goin for their mission. Begone right, the fictional, you know just and an awkward buying cars for other people. I got really. I scars mean because I like driver

Oh really care, whether you like it or not. All I grab and that's why I got it ended with you. You know, and so but occasionally or your comment about car is our most green eyes. You know you can remember the little people know my shoes. Rarely wish. Vine really is a brown grew up little people. When little paper my how alive I'm just low people they got big sets out what is so just chill your, but you know, but your age, it runs through your head. We UK say that out loud that so I will tell you that there is a certain amount of awkwardness and weirdness that goes with the territory. The same thing happens in any area of your life that you grow. Let's say you can from alone that was not the didn't, have the faith and became a very Strong person of faith and you grow in that area or Europe,

I rolls over that too how's it going over there, they handle snakes. You know what you're gonna get people how's our so called operating nowadays. You know you're gonna, get these snide things from all forums and family. That work there when you were that different person, but you ve changed a lot now you know and theirs, is just envy and jealousy, and there too, of the two the devil's work too, and then they are differ. That's interesting to study them. That's a good! It's a good discussion. So thank you for let me get up also barking, but you know jealousy, is I'd like to have what you have and then saying something like must be nice and you can't. I mean it really like to have that like to have gone mad trapper about that house or whatever in is I don't think I can ever have that? So I don't want you to at either. It should be taken away from you and that's it.

And you see both of these pop up in the political landscape. These days with the whole wealth inequality argument that kind of thing in all the evil. Rich people say that that's true straight up, jealousy, that's really and because I shouldn't have that cause. I don't think I can ever have it and that's that so they, but she just watch for that stuff, and then you can address it you can choose to say, I'm gonna limit. My conversations about those kinds of things were The case is that the person is toxic enough. Friend or family, that they have to have to distance yourself from them, because their never gonna, except the german winning an not winning to please them is an absurd idea. You can't go on fail of business goes Bobby, is gonna be upset. If I win well screwed we re Bobby, just gonna take a ride. You know it's crazy. You can't do that.

I'll be in the both in their all laughing at him? And now not you Bobby different Bobby. Oh, my gosh good discussion is one thing that happens when you wanted anything, but definitely happens when you, where that money. This is that Abrahams, each one of us

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I recommend you get rid of a larger income is but I'm gonna guess at twenty one in the military you're not making a pile of money could be wrong and that twenty four thousand, probably your lunch, well yeah. I'm gettin rid of that thing. The steps you do to get rid of it is: you have to find out what it is worth in terms of We were to sell it. For instance, on Craigslist has called a private parties sale you go to just go on the internet and look at a private parties sale and you can figure out what the car is worth and was pretend its worth one thousand new O twenty four, which would probably be close right, which means you up add down there in the whole four thousand in order to sell it, you have to go get the title from the bank they're not going to give you the title unless you pay them twenty four thousand years, get twenty thousand from your virus. We have to have the other four thousand figured out and then You have to either borrow that from your local credit union or worked extra

save up the four thousand dollars in order to do that. But my my guess is this car was a huge stupid mistake and it's probably hammering you you probably hemorrhaging money right now, so I could be wrong, but I'm not sure that you, you didn't get rid of it and you right. Borrow the money that we put other four thousand on a credit card by rambler degree, Gardner directly said you're already twenty four thousand, and that when you are the guardian, four thousand origin, that we're going in the right direction. There people, so you move, dad on something else and get rid of this car, but you ve got to cover the amount you're in the hole the amount your upside down in order to make the transaction work. Cameras weathers in New York City, high Tamar. How are you Dave, I'm ok calling because for the last two years I felt a lot of dead before that. I was wake. I think good at saving

and managing myself. What I had. Kids in college at the same time, and they didn't follow my advice. They picked very expensive schools, one of them got some scholarships and another one didn't get any and supported their bad decisions, and I had- the boy now you can have. You chose to yeah, but and now I have my credit card that because I try some of their tuition on my credit card, all school that I couldn't afford me yes, so is this offers is over our they out of school Y know, I guess held because he wasn't giving mean his grave and by bad I told them. I'm not gonna support your school. If that are you're, gonna be a correct, My daughter she fell like because she gave at least like sixty to seventy percent scholarships for her

will that like we do not feel that I should split and paid a rat also, she gives to tell you you're supposed to do with your money right kid. Very maneuver If not, we shouldn't you. The italian lire tidal generation very entitled now you're out of here, I don't. I don't like that and I'm a life of financial situation- and I had like old emergency fund but like every month, is like. I find myself thinking about knowledge from as over, like about twenty five thousand. Now it's about seventeen and about forty thousand miles of debt, but I wondered if I just think that mergers I paid down and is no bore. The rest of them had thought over your smile, yeah. They often only if you learn a new word, you ready for the word now. That's the word! No! Can you use that working here

I'm trying to try. You have to do it because you think if you don't stop this, the Titanic, going to go down you can you can your finger in one will hall, but it's it's. Preaching? On the other end, is bleeding water may just everywhere you, you know your door is going to go to a school in a place. There you agree with because you can afford to support it or she gets nothing. And the same with your son, it has to fit your budget. Or the answer's? No, you don't get anything. They don't get to tell you.

What to do with your money. It is not child abuse to not support your children's stupid decisions. I sought child abuse, you're, not a bad mom, and I don't care if she's twenty and she stopped her foot and her little lipsticks out and she has a little fit. All blood showed no hard I couldn't get a crap lass. You don't get to make decisions with my money and when, do with. When you make decisions that I approve of, then you have a shot at me, financing them. But I am not paying for you to make this in that. I do not approve of now. Why do not approve of them two reasons? One? Is it's a bad decision and I'm smarter than you, because older than you- and I have this thing called wisdom- experience. This reason is it's my freaking money, so I get to this I'd. Work goes to. I dont have put up with you twenty year olds telling me where my monies gonna go and so

You ve got a reset your parenting with her, and you can do that gentle and kindly you're a gentle or kinder person than I am by nature. I'm a little more in your face in your your sweet, but you can still be. Wait as still say: no, because it doesn't fit your budget. He doesn't get to tell you where your money goes and you going to endorse with your cheque book her bad behaviors and or bad decisions. These sure threaten one sorry drew up a one. Other thing is that there is a company that is pigeon to me for my bones: TAT, which that at that combating the Monday in there. That aid, which is like being can help me discharged in that, but let them be up now no there's no such thing as discharging student Loan Lambert's. Unless you are on your permanent, disabled in your own, assessor or you're dead. There are two ways the student numbers get discharge that that's a lie.

That's a scam company stay away from them revision, traditional federally, insured family. My love, that's the answer to that, So you got to say no, you gotta put some boundaries around your life in your money and then you know how to manage money. You just have chosen not to because these kids, a bitter in your life today you running your life. I'm sorry that you got there, but that's exactly what you described to me and you can CS in that case, if you will stop the bleeding, stop them by giving more to people you can afford to give because they're making decisions you can afford a support, then? Yes, you would user emergency funding should go a tight budget and yes, she would snowball your way right through this, and you can do all of that here Can you know exactly what to do? You just got to go. Do it now? It's very hard, though, to tell your kids know it's very hard to tell people that you love no, even if they're being stupid

just hard every one of you, ve got a relative. I have rarely should look at Amigo stupid say it out loud, but you just look. I'm goin stupid and you know, and if I come to you asking for you to support stupid you're not having Whelm by causing you bought by supporting a stupid, you're, actually participating in something of bringing harm to them. So I'm not gonna finance, something that harm to people that I love? What would I do that? I love them. Much! Tough! Luck! No darling! It's just real love! Love this! which something this damaging to someone you love is not love, that's cocoa dependencies, it's different them love! We different than love. It's a toxic form of relationship, All of us have some of it at one time or another lives, Why sure does get over into the money stuff? Man, oh man

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Now my listeners get a free, hd security camera when you visit simply safe, direct dot com thanks for being or those of Morocco. This is your show. Angie is where those Charlotte North Carolina, I Angie. How are you gonna think you thank you for taking my Paul, giving me the opportunity to ask you a question: We are all very step and the last thing we have for our debt is our house and I have wrong a few lingering old half the wheels. Then you're not my vision in three while back.

Technically now, I'm trying to work that out that my husband told me that you say we shall I pay twenty five cents per dollar and I'm sure and to work with the debtors to pay down. I only have one of them who are willing to draw it at all and they are willing to take all forty percent and I'm only looking at a total of about thirty hundred dollars I don't know if we it view at my husband tells me now. Let me say that we shall be working out with them. You get it twenty four dollars and I have been working with them now and how I also over the birds thereof for years. Are you paying payments on them Now we only literally just started getting our why bills and live together within the last year, so good for your item, thirty, eight hundred bucks and what your household income monthly it's about.

Five hundred and our dare our allowances that we pay out amphibian build anything like that's got thirty seven hundred. I would take the form one is how big one is that now another total of about three thousand dollars. Hokosa gets up. Half of it gone right, yes, and then just get in writing the actual balance on the others, English pm, I was gonna, be my other question. They refused to do that. The they will now you ve been there hi there Playing you and they're gonna come back for more late fees and interest on top of what they want. You. Thank you, oh and I so my husband, I haven't he said now. If he wants to get all involved in this, it probably would be helpful. Because I want him to get nasty with them. How can you have got to be kidding me

You idiots want money or not. If you want money, I'm standing here with money, but I have to- in writing, or I'm not giving you a dime, because I think you're lying cause. Your mouth is moving I begin to literally that other guy tell me you guys, Well, we do not have been out letters, we send our email, we don't care if you pay your bill or not because it on your credit, your dad and I'm, king, ok, war consciously. I feel bad enough money. You know like I'm, every change only a lot. I don't care. If I don't care, if I pay it either. Let me talk to your supervisor, cause you're too stupid to talk to this is how I mean you you're not dealing with intelligent life. You're talking to me like greater, who just told you he doesn't or, if you pay your bail, whore crap As you know, my dorm. And just say it. You know just that. That's a dumb but statement do you think I'm gonna fall, but that when we talk to you

browser you're too stupid to work this out a sum, email from one morning. You morons, and I will send you a check This cleared up and I'll have cleared up. Isn't it your job to collect a bill? Are you too stupid and drive one to do your job? You I'm sorry, People that are listening. Other nice people- they don't understand, but you ve not been done, with intelligent life. The people you're talking to his parents are cousins right now May I say by hedge thank you on that and I want to say one more thing and that other thing is that, literally, when, though you that we ve started doing there like things, have gone, got a hundred and sixty degree turn around anyway. We just we appreciate the programme it's working so well for us. Thank you. Thank you very much. Listen! Don't even look at this conversation as a game, so Does that I'm downright there is psychological warfare they're just messing with you and here's the problem, if you

and their Matrona fifty dollar check on a four year old medical bill that you think is dollar fifty dollars. They're gonna sing a bill for another two hundred eight dollars and light face. If you don't have it in writing that this is the actual balance gotcha ok? I won't do that and not pay them until I get a letter and just went in and column once a month ago I saw you idiots ready for money. I am just start conversation I like, as thereby I've talked to over there's a fool. So far, are you a fool? You work area must be it. Because thereby also workers a fool, so just Mess with them, because that with you and I'm Tellin, you they're playing you and you will you will pull but on the sweater for ever, if you don't get in writing and Tom down, you can tell their life if their mouth is moving Dan, Daniel, is where in Dallas high Daniel? How are you better than I deserve. What's up

why can I betrayed in two days on Friday evening. Out of being at a day to day, so I will come back and your screen then so be really excited about that. So my question is: We ve been really going to sense within about once or debate about fifty seven thousand dollars here's why the girl and congratulations the mother get any money for Kosovo. We both unworthy. Second job, so when is when did they ran figure provision press the rest? our second job, but no you you're a doll and now you're a successful model. You get to decide things. Okay, now only day, Ramses permission to their squat permitted. Really well, perhaps I could ask you mean you, you guys Morgan eighty hours, ninety hours a week, somebody's gotta meet her, she found her work and on the market,

over time on a city was found, so I dont get their benefit that we delete the dominant about fifty yards He can't get us tonight. It's a math thing right when they went when the dad is gone and your work baby stab three? How fast do you want to build? emergency fund for sure you quit the second jobs after baby step. Three hundred percent, ok, the cohesion is how faster you wanna bill babies to have three. If you want to build it, a little bit slower because you quit the second jobs Ding Ding did go ahead, probably elevates that a month We will again partly by foremost about about baby steps, at the time you bang Bang on like a crazy people for two and a half years and you got your debt paid off. So if you wanna take an extra months bill that our well it's fun, awesome

if you get close- and she could pick up some o t that last month and go after it, for a little bit. I mean the goodness is our t, it's not like. You have to quit the job you decide on one or two you I do want. It seems like an old about the second doubted, the thing that, like we're, ready spend it on the payment of the more we now want to take advantage of it, yeah. I mean that's that beer reward Leggum reporting, you're dead, free celebration. You know I quit yes, yes, but that is just as your judgment You make that adult decision you're making them how quick visited it so one month difference, I'm with you at public, with I'm gonna right there So that's the deal thanks for the call open phones at eight hundred and eighty eight, eight hundred and twenty five five thousand five hundred and twenty two. I've. This is that I ran to show glad you're whether statement got a small fora, one k from past job. What should I do with it?.

Well, you always role for a one k when you leave your job to the next job I'm sorry, too, to what am I my brains, not working. Ok, when you leave your work, you always take your retirement with you. If you can and role at direct transfer in two- and I are a and he always select. Four types of growth start mutual funds: growth, growth in income, aggressive growth, and international. That's the process so get in touch with him Mr Prodi and the role it over to a good mutual fund into direct transfer. Our traditional IRA. Not a taxes. Only later you can convert that around. If you would like to

says the diver amnesia. New York Molin, those calling Melinda hoary comin back you, I had a question. I am, and I worry that I'm the Taiwan

I'm listening to you, my husband and I are having a hard time I think Wanna go really really back, then I feel accused of the way pulling and am I going to get territory gods and he's starting get upset he's like don't do that You need to be home with the family, five me so he's willing to go on the journey, it's the speed of the journey me obviously not literally person, so how much debt of you all got! Twenty nine and I'll student mountain twenty nine thousand sally, my in what your household income eighty this change jobs aware I dont work. For the summer, so, but I'm guessing it should be about the same time. What do you do for a living I'm a mental counselor, hooker

Can you do that? Some free lance of that over the summer the I looked into it attacked. Coworker and they are but their renown Harry Family Life counselor, and I won't be able to do in this area. Because they don't want people to see me as that role and then doing another job emigrants from Shore LUCA am. I had had the job come next clear. I was gonna get like a trip driving video and that schooling is would take up the entire summer, and I was thinking I could work on weekends an old counselor truck driver yeah. Does it sound like that goes together to me? What am I missing, but it paid via? Oh that's all! It is. Ok, again I found what you turned them come again over all your overall household income, again, eighty eighty

over two thousand, I'm still in the army leaders and how are you going either? I am thirty, five, thirty six o clock, So you you just started this get out on that journey, two of your shutting down during a budget together right. We we took care to keep university where ago, and then when I had the job change like we're, not by day. We don't know where this money is going. What do you mean? We should have liked without an extra so you can rely on. You took the class and you didn't implemented at the time. Not the buy it now I'll be back at the meeting by my rapid twenty two. Asked here so you're putting money. No, I'm not I'm not getting anything in our just what it did. Ok, it's it! What it did I thought. Well, I think what you Probably do is go I'd get

that is you talking to your husband. I get there, you don't want me gone all its homework and six jobs, ok, but I am really on fire for us getting rid of this Dat and moving our family forward, so we are. Ah, I can slow that down a little bit and I can slow down some of my intensity to meet you, but you ve got meet me where we actually start doing the budget, We actually sit down once a month at once a week and go over. Where the money is going and that we are going to work, these baby steps and the all, if if we're doing lad- and the only question is how fast we work them, then I'll I will give you I will give on that point, but I can't not do this stuff. After going through this class, its changed. The way I look at it- and I want this debt paid off and I think that's a fair thing for you to ask him to do, and I don't think it's

First thing I think you'll do that, don't you we are. I just don't want to go on vacation. Then we don't have any money or no moment nor you're not work in the baby steps if you're gonna vacation, when you have twenty thousand dollars, instead of going to the budget, but he still wants to find things, were done a budget, but we're not sacrificed to get out of that. That's problem different than your work and all the time. Ok You know, basically, you guys what where you're not an agreement is not about you work and all the time where you're not agreement, as is he's not really wanting to follow the plan that you learned and financial biodiversity he fell on you. Why are they not be rightly it in and go by bunch crap? You can't afford and continue to be answered, he wants to do. You know financial peasmarsh on issuing yeah a key issue in doing going camping, her the inside

Somehow I missed the part about living like no one else. So later you can live like no one else and that's where you guys we're gonna spend some time dreaming again ago. You know we can't we can spend everything and What were acting like normal people again and if we everything on fine, then children, do what feels good adults devise a plan and follow it And that now that's a reasonable thing for you to be fired up about it. You won't work sixty sixteen job, you'll, be a truck driver when your mental health councillors a little weird, shall I'm with. Am on that I'll, take your site on there, but the the problem is, if you do all that stuff and he still MR phone, all Europeans bonfires with all that work and that's not gonna work, so you just need to get on the same page as for

what your goals are and what you're willing to do to hit those goals, and then you got to decide in. Are you going to work the stuff you learn in financial peace or not? The answer before was no you weren't and then the question is, are you willing to read to you? You might wanna go back through the class, wouldn't hurt you Jennifer is in Chicago on Jennifer. How are you are you Dave better than I deserve. What's up so my husband has been on a leave of absence since July with I'm so sorry. No short term disability payments, except for six weeks of it, so we call behind on a bunch of other stuff and we have a bunch of it all. Stupid everywhere, as is Adam Actually in January I can it slipped. My

a little bit, and so I went to one. We are on a budget and we are following the baby steps in our baby. Is that you. Do we have simply one hundred. Are you current humming euchre with everybody? No, we are not that our going next. We are fifty four hundred dollar tax return coming and that's because of him being off work. It was totally not. We didn't Yes, we have to pay so now we have all this coming in and of course, I know you know. Traditionally you applied to the the smallest to the largest, but I'm wondering if we shouldn't be using at least part of that to try to settle some of our charged on stuff How is he doing is gonna be going back to cause. You don't do now now I'm not sure when he has tried three times and set him back. Every time would end what happened anxiety and depression and

I even treatment you see the count. Learning of those Arthur rather weaken, he's just not been able again over the hump. You ve actually plenary lapsing right now, home so issue. Is your monthly. Nations of your house all gone and the whole every month, Not. Now that I have a budget now. Let me say that where else being everything. Ok, so you can't pay all your bills without whom we would not. Now very ok. Now I would not use this money for anything except an emergency fund, because you are red Square in the middle of an emergency. Stop your baby steps on any stop temporarily. First thing: we gotta get your budget balanced and get your income to match your out now,

That's your first go before you doing the Elles and in the meantime, you need this money to eat and the key keep the wolf away from the door more, and I really don't care if you get behind on stuff like red guards or student loans right now. What I care about is unaware on your house or your lights. We are not. All of that. Is that number one priority of the flemish and safari the fallen walls, food, shelter, clothing, transportation and utilities? Would you take it those pretty much anything else. I mean your car familiar house by my house around food and, like everything else get older. Do you get him so he gets back on its feet. Get this balance to get, but I wouldn't try to work the baby steps until you get your income to match her outfit out at your first goal. Sorry efficient me if I can help further.

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