You're listening to the gold digger podcast episode number one hundred and eighty eight gold diggers. I want to talk about it, the messy staff, embarrassing- that humiliating the shameful I want to talk about all, but it's not always easy. You see, there are some big topics out their body, shaming discrimination, inequality, war, oppression, chain gills, but they aren't always easy to address. Insert today, his guest, Alex LAW to supply size model, a blogger and self love Advocate, based in LOS Angeles, this, Holly native is ready to share her message of self acceptance in personal growth. She has two major goals: tell Other women become the most powerful version of themselves and to see these women represented in fashion. The launch, a visibly plus size is a result of Alex,

his unwavering belief that all different types of women, no matter their size, age or the color of their skin benefit from seeing images that represent them the middle aside from her brilliance- and let me tell you it's brilliant busy. Is an insane modeling skills would also captured. My eye is the way that Alex speaks about topics that matter. She recently caught my attention in an Instagram comments, section Where there is a heated debate and her responses were respectful, but also informative and persuasive, and I was captivated by how Alex spoke out for what she believed- in that I knew I had to have her on the show, like I literally slid into our genes- and I said I am so so upset she'd have of the way that you handled this. Let's talk about it in so today's episode is all about

just stepping into the unknown and end leaning into those things that make us uncomfortable in welcoming those conversations that were afraid to have- and I want to preface this by saying that Alex didn't have to do this. She is responsible for educating me on this, but yet she stepped into this so willingly, because she believes that we, all should have a voice and I wanted her input, and so I am really really excited about this show there is so the information that you can glean from and just so much experience that will get you thinking and asking yourself why but worry dived into today, show I want to read the review from Jean Eu Lonnie. It sidled impact full. I've listened for the last six months in every episode, seems to be more more helpful than the one before Jenny shares, all that she knew was all the knowledge and Tipp she's acquired over the last several years becoming itself made millionaire. She is kind, graceful intelligent in so find the listen to weather

it's her sharing or entrepreneurial tabs, hoping you figure out your own story, invoice or being really honest about the struggle she's had in business or in life. Jenna bears her beautiful soul and makes her listeners want to dig deep and achieve their goal. Was highly recommend. This podcast impact, for is an understatement. Transformative is the most distinct description of the effect this podcast has on the listener I really hope that today show can be transformative to you. I know that this might be unkind. People are weird, and I ask some questions that I'm not even sure if they were the right way to ask, but we lean into the together and I'm just so thankful that Alex was willing to show up and share with this community. The and so without further ado. Let's talk about the awkward stuff, your listening to the gold digger podcast, where we firmly believe that work doesn't have to feel like work self, Made millionaire and marketing guru Jenna Culture will help you redefine what success looks like it's

I'm a year from the experts, listen in on onest conversations and learn the best tips and tricks that helped others pay their own way and craft their dream career if you are ready to dig in, do the work and tackle your biggest goals, you're in the right place. Here's your host educator, photographer and makin cheese, lover, Jenna Culture. Major shattered to ship station for supporting the gold digger pod guessed right now would try ship station absolutely free for thirty days, and additional month, free only if used my promo code, gold, digger acts, Station- had w, W dutch ship station dot com and musical gold digger make ship happen. One Brighton your day instantly. Let me produce you to Emma Jane designs Emma epitome of a gold digger who created a jewelry subscription box just for you for an exclusive.

He's a jury arriving at your door. Every month use echoed gold digger at shop e J d, dot com for ten dollars off your first month of your subscription. Thank you Jane designs. First sponsoring today's episode of the gold digger podcast. All here, we go so Alex. Welcome to the show I'm so excited for our conversation today. Thank you so much having me, I'm so happy to be here soon transparency about asking for, For sure it's like people get to see, in a really interesting conversation- and we were just talking about how this Congress it might be uncomfortable at times and we might say things that come across wrong, but I'm contracts, Did you just look into that and you are literally the perfect guest to do that with the EU look at my age,

let's be lightly outward. Let's get out of our conference zones. Comfort zones are not helpful to any woman now so first things, first as to who is Alex. What is your path look like, and how did you get to where you are today can give us the synopsis of who Alex's shore? So our colleague's, we're talking in their prayers and other Emma got. I, air borne arise in southern California, ban, a plus a model for the last nine years, and that has been the most wonderful journey then extremely eye opening am, I feel, like I kind of you know, became an adult and learned how to run my own business and become my all my own woman in my own brand, and it was it's been scary. So as a mine those nine years and it all started. I was plus size in high school

and I was shopping online for clothes because I couldn't actually find any genes in my area that your fit me some shop online on toward the com I found myself looking at these women instead of looking at the clause- and I was like fly we're gas at only who are these girls that look Like me, they are beautiful their stunning who are there, and so I just did a bunch of research, and you know I learned about plus I smiling I didn't know anything about it actually reached out to torrid on their website. This does work anymore. If your China mottling now don't do this, but basically I just email the torrent, wisdom. Facebook photos that visa leg desert literally my profile, my face with profiled photo and was like. How can I model for you, her nothing for two months, and then I got an email back from the head photographer and she was saying you know we're starting to introduce the new girls come in for a go see.

I didn't know that was I had to do. I had a look it up. Space click asked it watch and urges next sought model. You know it's a large America's like that model and you will definitely learn all about goes Eve and I went in to the few photos and met the team and again didn't hear anything back for like two months. Now the commission is now working, but they finally called me and then I had my first few for torrid and it was also I shot with them for about a year, and then they said that they wanted to work with it. See, models, only answer, how do I get an agency? And so I is basically eyes the years went by had to learn different things and he did my researched and ends up signing with an agency for four years, and I just left them about. A year ago, and now I'm on my arm and I've been having a blast. Wrapping myself

How is that I've been like that's a huge trend. This, and just representing yourself in finding that confidence to pitch yourself and all that has been a big change has been. For short, I think social media has kind of changed. What role I can take? I can the model, but I also have this great platform on social media that I love. I love all of the amazing people who fall me and I got to share with them about plus call they no beauty eggs or whatever it may be, and I can work directly with the client so Oh, I haven't really needed my agent as much so right and now I and negotiate contracts had to learn how to do that. You know staggered out how to make a business and run a business on my own with a lot of help from people who are doing it before me. It's incredible! So the reason why

The reason why I know when I reach out here just so excited about this is one of the things that I value so much about your social media is that it just feels welcoming, like all, are welcome to show up. There is a seat at the table laid. Have you Alex what It has been like, like a has not been an intentional piece of your strategy, has just been who you are or what does that kind of look like for you, so that has absolute Ben Intentional, ok little backtrack as a plus model I'm a little bit bigger than the average model, and so I was we are fighting to be included in campaigns and on websites and whatever, because I was a few sizes bigger and I'm trying to make a speech for all women of all sizes to feel represented in the fashion industry. So that was kind

my vision, when I took you don't wanna, I take my vision over Instagram and I wanted to be a space for all women feel represented, heard loved accepted. I dont think I definitely don't think building standards are a real saying. I don't think that anyone should be restricted because of their size because of the color of their skin and are their ability of their body. You know to be affiliation, restricted in the industry, and so when I go to pose when I go to talk to the people who are following me on my social media? That is my message, and so, when I'm talking about that people feel hurt, people feel validated and I've been able to grow a really beautiful community. Because people know they can come to my page and I'm here I for you to be seen and be wrapped in the media and so on its back home it is clear I mean it just shows up in, and I think too that you have. This like super

Natural ability to connect with women on so many different levels, whether it the size pants that they were. Or the color of their skin or their political beliefs or their spiritual beliefs. And then I just think that it so interesting to me, Alex because I feel like so often we're so worried about repelling something or if season that one person disagrees with they're gonna unfollow me, but what I've seen from you is that why I might not be able to connect to all of the pieces that you share. There are things that keep me coming back. Does that make sense but makes complete sense and I loved, thank you for those, I think from me- I've just always created a space that feels authentic and is alchemy. If someone disagrees with something that I say and the law

on follower. Whatever that's fine lake, that's completely find by love what you said about there being a little piece of something for everyone there. So you may not care about the plus eyes fashion, but you do care about their diversity. In scam. You or you may not care about natural hair styles. If we want to know about how to keep your skin blowing in the summer whatever. So, it's cool to hear that from you, because I really do try to provide something die. You now relates to every single person out there were you doing it you're doing that all that is the goal. So ok, let's just cut to the chase nowadays and social media. I feel like people. Are in one of two camps there, either speaking they're mine, endless putting it all out there and starting wars about politics or religion or sexuality or whatever that is or their so timid. We stand in their truth because

so worried about offending someone that they don't even stand for any sang and so our as things. First, where do you stand in those camps or where you kind of situated I'm definitely more outspoken and which I have no problem in our sharing? Exactly what my opinion is and calling out some one firm opinion that I feel is just like: dehumanizing or batter, meaner, oppressive, However, you stepped into that because I feel like I'm. Probably in the other camp- and I might indefinitely edging more towards side just standing up for what I believe in and stuff Have you always been that way, or has it taken work to be able to say like ok, my job is a plus size model. But here are these things that in fighting for- and I don't really care if it influences my work or my audience. How does that penalties for you? So ok to answer first budget,

no, I am definitely not always, but in this first, oh god, I was a merry quiet kid in a very Wyatt Young adults. Entering into the precise whirlpools eyes, fashion rob I was kind of race I wasn't like raise at the idea of a b c, not her. That's not true, but I was raised to kind of just be a little bit more people pleaser and is it was considered disrespectful. It was considered not nicer, mean to disagree with someone on any capacity or to make someone. All, even if it meant that I had to be extremely uncomfortable. You know so lie so like there's a balance here they mean they mean that anyone and our like make people feel like bad about themselves and their character,

but I have no problem calling people out for some of their belief systems that they might not even realise our oppressive to certain people. So as I entered the industry, I was again I was like my me. Just she'll get bought I don't want any brands to think that all this girl's too political or this girl pastures, strong of opinions about anything at all. I used to hold back. I used to just be completely choir if a brand was only using size, twelve grow, all in all, I quite girls and their customers, and look like that. I would just we like ok, like us and is never working with that. Bran behold flare. Well, so let me just be quiet about it. Just in case you know and that's not realistic. Eventually, you just get sick of it. Nor like why. Why am I not seeing myself represent it? Why do I go to a website

above and they're using size models and attendant walls. Why is at a thing, that's unrealistic to the customers as unrealistic for me to feel inspired, even by recording feel inspired even by recalling that doesn't make sense, business wise for the brand, and so when I felt secure enough in my position in the industry. I think I think that's pretty much change what I felt like no matter. What what's gonna happen. I had a place in the processing industry. That's when I started speaking out, but I wish I hadn't held back as long as I did so could have had more important conversations, I'm out of place now or I'm having conversations with brands. Friends will hire me to have conversations with them about how to be more inclusive, how to speak.

To their customers and not be like tone, deaf or dislike, be aware of different perspectives when they are speaking to their customers. I get hired to do that now. You know brands do wanna, hear those things. I was just so scared that I wouldn't get blocked as a model. If I came office to opinionated and that is unrealistic. People want to know who you are and who are getting into when their working with you and some brands will avoid working with someone. Who is more had spoken, but I think that a mistake. I close the browser enough enough cause their customers charolais with them anymore. I agree that school I mean. I think that I've had a ton of conversation this year, especially as a influence. Sir we're meeting in the end between size is I will only work with companies that show diversity not just size but color, because you know there are so many

when he's there and guess what I didn't even recognize that I will be the first one to say in the past? I don't even look for it, you like it may like I just it was so not even my radar, because I was used to seeing women. That kind of looks like me, not body tight, but why blonde, like enough yeah yeah, where I could really do you think about it like they're. Just I think it has been so opening to really be challenged in in in and, I think to add your speaking. I MIKE, I feel it, I'm kind of where you were wearing MIKE do I even talk about this, because I am a privileged white woman like How do I even start conversations when I dont have personal experience like what would you tell me because I feel like you are so

wise. Like yourselves, I mean will obviously like first things. First, it is, no doubt that you are using your podcast to bring voices that are different than Europe to give a speaking phase to someone like me and other women who wouldn't have that speaking space in that kind of that brought about big of an audience. What you're doing as using your privilege and having you know you have gotten here because of your hard work, but also privilege and people will listen to you more guilty you before. Listen to me! You know and so use that space and then bring people en who we are We know of minorities of some sort or no less heard. That is what you're doing right. That is the does really cool a lotta people. Don't do that a lot of people get in landscape.

An audience and then just play it safe and it's such a waste man cause you can have it so many more important conversations if you were just to start them on your platforms. Like your dick. The number one goes to you for this progress. That's down your heart that also like. If I were to be talking to you and your wondering, do I speak out as a white woman, absolutely absolutely need to. In my opinion, the reason I say that is because, like I said there are gonna, be people out there there can be brands out there. They're gonna be industries into me. It is that will listen to you before they listen to people of color or listened too fat people. I use fire. People are funded by that, were I think of it s just a descriptive sudden, just everyone on what I would tell you is to educate yourself on the issues. Ask yourself why

you may hold opinions or why it may be uncomfortable, frail and then they do it anyways. You now speak up any ways for the person who doesn't have the speaking space, like either do what you're doing and give them speaking space on a broadcaster on your platforms or speak up for them because they're not going to be able to remember Emma Jane designs at I introduce you to you at the beginning of this episode. I can't to tell you more about how classic and polished her jury is, and now you can sign up for the E g box every month subscribe members get an exclusive piece of juries, something brand new to the collection. Emma Jane takes great pride in sourcing the best materials and they're all created in the U S of a amazing is that she started.

His company when she was just sixteen and while growing your family being a mom. She grew aside us all into a mega successful brand that is sold in sixty five boutiques across the country. In a dish to our website talk about a true go, digger Irene. We got my first box and I loved how timeless in classic the pieces are. I am already looking forward to the next month. You can get a timeless piece of joy, for only twenty five dollars a month that mean that you are saving on average of fifty percent, but sometimes even up to seventy five percent. Today you can ten dollars off the first month using the code, gold digger at shop e g d, dot com- again, that is ten dollars off your first month using gold digger shop, each eighty dotcom our goal figures. Listen up. Many of us are in the business industry and its no secret that when you're selling products online getting here orders out. The door quickly can be super tough. All of that crap. That goes

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words man or it's like able bodied people, whatever it may be or heterosexual people. It's when you are going and speaking on a subject in which EU privilege from you need to make sure your educating herself and speaking to people first, like speaking to people who don't have the same privileges as you, so that when you do so, up to a larger audience you are educated. You are sharing the truth of the people who are being heard. Not just your truth. Your truth is awesome, but it's not a complete understanding of the subject. You're. Talking about lily- and I think you know one of the things that I've struggled with so much in and I feel like a lot of this has been behind the scenes like people. Don't know that, like one of the biggest focuses of my year this year is, is to be

uncomfortable to challenge at discomfort in and to really ask myself those hard questions that I think we tend to like lean away from and now I want to know like because there are some women out there, that are you kidding and bringing all of this to lie like hosting webinar is about how women and privilege can open in all of these things- and I think that when I started to dig into this, I was looking for men towards this or or looking for people to like lead me through this, and I think, like where do we start like? How do we even start approaching some of these awkward things were challenging. The way that we believe things. Where do we begin? I think the first stuff is to knowledge. That way, you believe, is something that you have been socialize into a lot. I mean there are people who make choices to be racist, that's for sure right, but like lashes

Take it as a bit like, let's just say it as it is. We were raised to not talk about the things that are uncomfortable, so it makes sense as adults where this conversation that we don't know how to win irony being a cat, and I'm half way have black, which also I like, was thrown into a situation where you have to talk about re, so that's why I'm feel pretty good about it, but a lot of people aren't and I remember as a kid. There was a kid another kid who asked me like. Why is your skin brow and her mom her and I looked at her nose. Like that's, not a bad question, I told her. I mean I don't know how older was as probably like, seven or eight. So, as best as I could, I told her, I was like. Oh I just looked this way. You know I like the same on the inside, there's nothing really different about me I just looked this way. Unlike the kid couldn't wrapper mind around it, and the way I did was you:

an example that I had heard from my mom, she had the brown egg and away egg, and she opened it inside of exactly the same rate. So as you like cracked openness, egg and that you cracked up in a brown egg, and they look at me like. What's the difference, nothing but thats, I just looks a little bit different and that was an exact why could share of the seven year old that she could understand? You know, so I think the first thing we need it is. We were not trained to have these conversations. We actually were trained to state like it in our nature, as comfortable who as possible, to protect our thoughts. I get it, but when it comes to our actions and how they basically are going to affect other people and other people's lives it is important and we need to get out of our conference on the first step. I think that your passion, the first step, is to, of course, educate yourself like you, said? You were looking for, mentor is out there and there there an honest

it's easier to do it as a group, it's easier to have another person to have conversations with that. I would say you know if you are talking about race in your white. Have other white people to have these conversations with an like China, bounce off each other and then get used to the idea of having these conversations, educate yourself and then began to say, speaking to other people who have different experiences, different racial backgrounds, as you I think I think one thing we don't really think about too often is like if there I don't know coastal area relates your question on that's. Ok, MIDAS Lake in my view, this line and like I don't think this is your question, but I'll tell you later go de la yeah. Ok, you need to set yourself up to have an effective conversation, whether you're having conversations with people who are in same group as you. Whatever the subject is whether sway sir gender, whatever you're having a converse

with all women, that's gonna be a different set up and a different mindset going in then you're going to have one with mixed gender re. If you're talking about gender issues so set yourself up to have an effective conversation, first of all, do your best to understand where the other person is coming from. When I am seeking to every color right now, you know regenerative, you are, you know a blacklist arbitration woman like me, and you are going to have a conversation with a white person. I understand where they're coming from the r in addition, a privilege where they haven't had to be aware of their race until they are accused of being racist, pretty much right. You don't really like why people don't have to think about until all the sudden someone's calling you over privileged people understand the concept of underprivileged Ray all the underprivileged communities. People know that

dont acknowledge over privilege at all, and so when you are talking to white people talking my black people now dogma people of color ass. Yours, people do not understand that this is a completely new concept. You ve been dealing with this. Your whole life. If your white person his brand new to you. Just understand that the personal collar that you're talking to is probably exhausted, of having these same conversation should go in education. Off beforehand, so that you have at least some basis of knowledge, some basic understanding of why it's like to be a black. Then, where are your eye and whoever city or out of a country or in or what it means to be even black appearing. Like I'm black and white, but I look like a little latina. People don't know what I am like. They can't fly me when they see me necessarily, and so I've been like asked about

like my dad- was a god like. If I'm documented or not, the commission send my guys, it's really while the as a unit. Let those experiences that you just don't experience right are things that you know you don't now, and there are things that you don't know that you don't know the single. You don't know that you don't know you can't really prepare for that. The only way to prepare for learning that is just approaching every conversation with love and understanding with the goal of trying to understand that person better. That's the only way you can prepare for this things that you don't know that you don't now, but when you know that you're unaware of some stuff, you need to do the work beforehand, don't make the people of color are always educate, you don't make the women educate, the man don't make the able bodied people educate the people who are disabled lake, that's not their job there, just trying to get by on life when they already have in our thing stopped against them. So I nope, I answered your question

was my ranch, you something that's gonna be really uncomfortable, but I just say so When I started this podcast was inclusive. Eddie was not on my radar fur terrible reasons adjust. It wasn't even something I had considered or thought about. One thing is is like we are challenging ourselves to do, It in and and do not just have conversations like this with diverse people like diverse people bring so much more to the table and migration, that said struggled with is I was getting. Called out about having diverse cast, and it was just this wake up call for me, but one thing I've noticed- and I just want to hear your thoughts on this, because I've never really known how to approach it is alive, my women podcasting friends, who are women of color

I have only women of color gas on it, and so sometimes I struggle with. Is there this double standard? Is there the stigma, but then I also recognise I am privileged and these women haven't had the same chance have their voices. Heard, and so can you haven't? You have any I'm not. I guess they just sometimes wonder like wiser a double standard, but it's not. I understand that it's not right away. So ok, so this is like the introduction of the safe space Odette Rider when you were so. Let's keep it to raise right when you are a person of color in a word, desired experiences. White supremacy right like the way my privilege on the good sense to have a sea space, is, is necessary for your mental,

health like to walk into a space and know that you're consider second class, that you are considered underprivileged, that you are considered leg a little bit less than normal right, it is raining that is exhausting and if you are you know you can goes right your day and dislike ignore it. That's definitely thing like people do to keep their sanity, but if you are, if that person who can ignore it like you're gonna, basically beyond, like a bit of rage all day long. My here dislikes quite on people. Hear me see me love me: do you know where you're freaking out, so that is just like the everyday existence of people of color have a safe space is literally mental health for, like I know the black community, that's it. I can speak too. I can imagine for every different types of colors out there. Is wild, also to be

in a space now where the internet allows you to have say spaces out of your family or out of you. Now your church or whatever it may be. It doesn't have to be around with people that you know and like you just happened, we run you can find say spaces on the internet and it is a blessing. To be able to go on a pot cast, or I'll get you to channel or and see just yourself represented people who already understand you and the things that are. You know articular to your community to have conversations where you dont need to educate anyone, everyone he's already understands rate. That is like a feeling that I think why people get more often they get that's like their normal. We don't get that has not normal so as to create a space for that is, I think, super important,

don't think it's a double standard when its sorry now heard curveball on that question, but I just denying I've wondered about Gaza. My uncle I'm getting. I called out for this, but other people- or maybe I don't know- I don't know you. No no. I mean ideally I'd love to get to a place where we can have conversations apart from right. When we live like a racist system beg you, people who don't benefit from this system will need safe space. This and tell them like why people just Stan. Stand like, I think, need to kind. Just understand that we, mental health, I can't see any other way. You need that space. You need that place reed or have to He came up. People already understand your experience and relate to you on it, human level. I get that, and not I was just like a black humanitarian gap is exactly what is needed here and I think you know I just like. I

these challenging thoughts, and, unlike China, work through them in a MIKE. You know, I think that so much of of the work that I have been? Working on is like I get defensive like that, is my first This revision is like defence, like you don't know where I was raised. Are you don't know that I will ever exposed, or you don't understand that I do not have a lot of friends that are different than me and then I started like being like well. Why? Why now, and so I just I think I just interesting, when these thoughts come up to really like challenge women and obviously the first thing that I saw from you where it was when I India dams and was like. We need to talk because this so crazy as you were having come, almost a heated debate, innocence on your instagram, but you were welcoming it and you are super respectful, but also informative. So how can we

start. These conversations, and and welcome them in a way that does not lead to this culture of like I'm in a block you, if you think differently than mere, or I only want to hear from people that think like me, Ray first and foremost laden social media, probably isn't the best placed to handle that they are safe and face to face, is so went better or lease one? On my mind, this is way better and you can actually here the person and the town anything written now in text is like for interpretation and when it comes to town, it's hard right honestly, the best way to have these conversations now this is gonna sound, mad cheesy malestrail. Do ok, first tat like this. Side, that person who is Some crazy hateful horrible thing to you, like India, decide that a person is a person. Number one you that as a human lives and experience

different than mine and understanding that has built that way for a specific reason and try to identify the reason if a person is just strange now: overtly racist oars, homophobic are faithful, bigger whenever don't engage in those conversations, like fear, mental health, but if a person is just, I would say like- has a different opinion from you. Or, like, maybe you think, they're misguided. They definitely don't think they're Miss Cuttenclip Ike is we need to recognise that person as a person and not just like a wild troll on the internet? You know that it's number one having any kind of meaningful conversation. The second thing I would say like again, if you are Personal collar of you are the women. Are you or the disabled person are like the gay person or whatever you know, protect yourself. I know it sounds like like now I'll the answer you wanted, but late night make sure you're and ahead space were able to do it. It's exhausting the educated,

on the five people who are dehumanizing, you so lake, if you're the failed to take that on awesome, speak up at your turn. Who are you got this if you're not gonna head space, like that's? Ok as well, but if you are going to conversation with people recognise their human we try to understand where they're coming from and then teeth on things that you don't think they would know. I am trying to remember what the exact cost was on my instagram that use that you said I think, of something about like deporting people s, that's what it was yeah and someone was like our life out there. Making our jobs and are taking our young immigrants. Here too still our land for us all by the United States, we Mexico rake, like loss Angeles, his Spanish, like the angels for reason, but also, if you actually take time to educate

so you'll see. That's not true. People who are undocumented can't get a lot of the jobs that people feel they are being stolen. People who are undocumented take jobs. That and fields as service jobs, people who are undocumented art typically escaped, who are on documented art, typically escaping something dangerous. Not always I get that but typically and the like. Those are things that that person doesn't know that person who was talking to that day just felt threatened and the reason that person felt their end was maybe because they got laid off or you know, maybe, because you know I've never actually met some on whose like letting our

Ex again or whatever their assuming you know, this person clearly doesn't have any personal connection with whoever their hating on cause. Then it would be a lot harder to hate them rain. So I think when you have those conversations It's your job like it's, your job number one to protect, your own minds and make sure you're not gonna get into a place? I take you to unhealthy mental space, but if you're good, then I think your job is to help them to relate whoever their hating on or whatever their hating on in a human way, because what like a systematic, oppressive like oppressive systems do is de humanize people, they do humane fat people, they do humanize women. These consider black people lesser that new knowledge. That is how you are able to give in

people. That's you know they don't deserve to belong breed. The same air, the you breathe, or they don't deserve to have higher paid jobs, Don't deserve to be in positions of power. Whoever you know the day. Is that you're dehumanizing that we now dehumanization makes it easier to oppress them? So when you have those conversations you need to create a personal connection which is hard to do especially was strain. On the internet, which is why don't you just social media, but if you're having a conversation with like a The member who has some problematic views, I would say, said them down talk to them from a place of understanding. Now,

Were accusations network all someone, a name never get someone's defences turned on because then the conversations pointless. That's not gonna work, but once you're like having a real heart to heart conversation if, at the end of it, you have explained why the message is important. Do you have explained humanity that has being stripped from a certain group of people. A few have tried. It's early on every single of all, and it still doesn't work just now that that is actually the case. More times like more times and that's like most time. You're gonna have a deep conversation. You're gonna be emotionally out there in the prison, monotonous, I hear you, but it will be easier to have that conversation with that person. Next time and they'll hear you a little bit more people aren't set and their ways lay people say all their just Edna. Is they disbelieve this because they grew up like this like now? That's not true. You know it's socialization

civilization, is how we that's how culture works its, how we believe different sayings overtime. That's how we get our gestures are good. I will slaying socialization when we're just immersed in a new idea and a culture. We start to act like that. So if that The idea of an alone lady or democracy, is new to someone. It's gonna be harder for them to have that conversation, but the next time you have that conversation went them they're gonna hear a little bit more they're, gonna humanize those people, little bit more. So now getting people to rely on a personal level, is ideal, not always possible. The first time around, but definitely the ideal and the gall long term- I think that's so powerful, and I think one of the things see those thing in my eyes you are speaking, is the power of storytelling, because we

districts and we can see data, and we can see you know all of these things, but when you can actually like put a human into any situation in here that personal story. I know that's like I feel like how I ve grown the most, please just tell me about experiences you ve had where this has happened or you when you know somebody who's actually affected by this, and I think I've been thinking about it. So much more! when I think about bringing a child into this world is like like how much they want to speak about other people. How do we use here? about being different. How do we want to achieve then them on social causes in, and I think that The way that a lot I mean it, I can speak for myself. The way that I was raises. We didn't really ask those questions. We didn't I acknowledge the things that we didn't, we weren't exposed to, I think,

No, it's just so interesting now with like Social meares like we're we're so much more expose shoe, not trade there is but two things that we grew up. Oblivious to you know beautiful and it's like scary, to saw what you're saying, let me think of something it's cool, because Europe most of us are. We are, however, were raised we're communities we see either, but where grow up. You grew up in Minnesota. Small development, zero diversity right away, so you grew up around away people. That's why you knew that snake. I mean. Also, you knew it small town liable to the completely differ. Culture than like, say the exit effort like outside of this racial piracy is completely different. Everyone knows your business. Everyone is like family friends like that whole thing I imagine Ray I affair

We in small towns in the south, by on I was raisins other difference, but it's for people who come from space says that look primarily one way lay just why or whatever when you go into you say in New York City, and you see all that ever seen, that isn't wildly impact for a moment for you, just a big around people who loved differently than you act differently than you expect the world way different. But if you are right since a with me, I was raised in southern California, where there was diversity, but still a bit of segregation lake. Where I see people who look different, Let me and act different than me, but I don't necessarily know anything about their culture or their experience. When I went to college I learned something in a class is, I could not tell you who wrote this article or whatever it was an article that talking about Malta culture

some and is talking about how kind and now is the key word- is light diversity by multicolor. His arm was like Polly like the nineties, like a big person like ring, you know, two of each kind under the boat and the gay but so all celebration of the differences just like integration and I think that's a lot of people expect this is our when they're going up to. You may see other people of different you now races, genitalia gets up by your own celebrate their differences. You just see the difference in its over there. I think the most powerful thing that we can do for ourselves are like for you, for your kid we are cited is go and learn something new and celebrate a different experience. Lake.

In college. I celebrated Chinese near and I knew nothing of what a man like there was no like religious zella. Like ties to me. There is it's just experienced it with my friends and it was so impact full in every year. So who organise you. I I get it It is now and I can understand how to celebrate with someone who's different than me too, and that is humanizing when you see someone who looks completely different from you and they understand lake, some nuance of your culture, that is like love, that is the best relationship builder like. I was That's really cool. If you like, I grew up celebrating Christmas, but then I had friends who celebrate huh and I didn't know how overpowering Christmas is by Christmas is like consider this national holiday limits lake. It's you hear Christmas music, like four months,

picking Yeager conflicts. Everything is tree than in all my do. The beards, unlike issues like this whole thing but when you, your jewish or when your Buddhist Darwin you're something else that doesnt celebrate Christmas, it can be overpowering to the type of this is exhausting why are we celebrating one day for four months and I will never I wouldn't know, but it never even considered that that experience is someone who has something different than me, and so it's it's really cool to be around different people, but it's amazing to expose yourself to different cultural practices. I love that is actually just I'm sorry. Trapped here. Just remind me like this. Last weekend we were in Chicago and coal, we're with my friend and her kiddo and we're getting ice cream and I looked around the room and it was so diverse emulate. I pulled me out of this psych showers like while this is crazy and the next day I mentioned

things you and I just said, I'm so glad your daughter is being raised in this culture. Where you see everything and you can experience, and she goes. You know what I didn't even notice. You know where so different interesting because else it was ass, it was like. Oh, this is so different. And then in recent one else it was like all this is normal yeah, it's like while like this, I don't know it just so. It's so interesting and I I feel, like I think, one of the things I most challenged by when it comes to inclusion everywhere on, every spectrum is just being able to see it like you actually look for an end to acknowledge and to welcome it, and I think that you know it's really challenged. So much of my life in existence, in a way that I dont even know need a challenging at awesome. I love Enzo, so this is a goal I have to ask you because please you have any like like hacks

AIR, something for speaking your voice in a way that is authentic, did get respectful like what what can people do if they want to start using their platform arms for more than just marketing or messages or money like. How would you approach that yeah of it will first things? First Lake We should absolutely prioritize being authentic over being respectful, like leaves the idea. You I don't know, that's seems odds, say, but I think it's way more important to get your message across and too share a message of love and like the poor, unlike inclusion always but like if it a fence, a minus, message offence a man like. Ok, sorry, if something about it working us calling out you're alive Diversity is offensive like yeah, ok, but it's more important too

make sure people are being included being seen and being heard and recognise that it is for you to become so sorry just letting them I have also heard the negatives and tracks were like. Having those conversations I think, like I said before, make sure that, if you're the one who is doing the speaking that you're speaking Are your voice, in your words, are completely backed up with understanding and like words from conversations you ve had with people who are disadvantaged in whatever category or talking about you, like your opinion, is awesome. But if it is not, you know created from a space that is Inclusive Europe

it isn't going to register with a lot of people? Another thing, I would say is its: if you're someone leather platform like us, sometimes just stating what you think and not like it, you can get. You, audience to get used to stuff. So if your audience isn't used to you having conversations about like you know anything, political or like personal, like social relations, that if they are not used to that just start small start saying things. And not necessarily looking for the conversation with them just state Europe, it didn't say it and, as someone comes back with lake She now I dont think that meet up whatever you said his right leg. Ok, you can have that individual conversation, but if you're gonna try to host conversations on your plan my or space. You need to get your audience ready for that, or else your audience

neither can adapt to hire audience, it is going to wake completely terror each other apart. I think it's really powerful when someone is already following you for whatever reason following you, because they like your hair and they want to know how they did not your hair and your alike, doing your video near like a curl it. This way that it looks so great like and then you just as we also take a moment. This happened this week and I was really special for me. It doesn't have to be wake I discovered my reader whiteness could be like I want, and I experienced I went out alive. In Chicago, and it was so I and it made me realize how much I value people who look differently than me. So this is how I do my. Have a man: do I love watching videos from other billina? It could be as simple as that and that

Is it not? Alas, all our time commitment is just sharing your experience and setting lakes giving space to other cultures. Mother He says and not necessarily having a conversation about the race you now yeah wanting also is is. This also applies to like what you're doing one rule that I learned and cause- I think it's really powerful- is step up stepped back. And if you. Are a person who typically has privilege in one area we are talking about, the idea is to step back and give people who don't have a voice as much a space to speak like you're doing here at this park, ass stepped back of Europe he says, are people who look like you in their voices? Are always heart stepped back? Give that space is someone else, but if you are someone you don't see represented in the media or you. Someone who-

is maybe like more oppressed in one way or another step up its easy to stay silent because we ve been silent. For a very long time, but honestly, like we're, not gonna, see a big change There are people of color or women, or people with different abilities. Coming forward and speaking up and sharing their own experiences to so step. Up stepped back, I think, is a really powerful tool, and it just as a reminder that speaking space should be equal. Representation should be equal and it's kind of a good place. To start are you having those kind conversation wondering I loved Hussar a couple weeks ago? He was just saying you know like welcome in conversations as people. I don't agree with you. Interest used the phrase help me too

her sand, like. Oh that's, really diarrhea and this piece or help me to understand why you feel this way, and- and I really I value the because I was like. Sometimes we just don't know how to ask a question like I know, even the nose when I talk about things like I don't say anything, that's a fence ever I don't want a phrase that the wrong way or use the wrong terminology, and so I loved, like the help me to understand because it just actually does just like you said, gives people a voice, gives people the floor to actually speak, and I think that's so powerful. That's Alex, I feel, like I don't know. I just want to say thank you because you are so Oh I mean you do so many things. You are an incredible businesswomen. You are an incredible model, you you are so many things and- and I just when I watch you navigate through some of the discomfort or are just like the uncomfortable comments, and I I why How you did that and I watched to show you welcomed people and through that, like out

just blown away and- and I know that you are so much more than just speaking- about diversity or color of scandinavia- one could say like. Thank you for coming on and allowing us to share this space together and to welcome this conversation. It really means a lot absolutely, I honestly, I am so happy to be here, and I thank you for continuing. They tell these conversations its import for everybody is important for business. It's important for your personal relationship, so I think, It's really incredible what you do so, where can everyone connected? If you guys, like you, ve just all through Alex's speed, you're going to find something you love Enzo. Where can everybody times you online? So my answer Brown and my facebook are both at Miss Alex Rosa. So am I asked ass l e exe Ellie R, o S amazing, Alex just thing you again, I think that, as we continue to have these conversations

as we continue to welcome them in, and honestly, I would love to have a conversation about Faced with another white woman, I think that would be incredible resuming his like, I said to you at the beginning. It is not your job to educate me, but I appreciate so much you just walking into this with the most open mind ever, but I'm just excited about the dirt Shin everything is going right now and I feel like there's this energy that we can't let escape yeah. I completely agree is becoming more and more normal to see. People who look different frightened have conversations across cultural boundaries, and I am here for it and I also really here for the idea of having to wait. Women speak, about race, because there's gonna be some new this, isn't some things that I just can't I can't share, so I think that would be really cool. And really powerful for Europe as well

out. It's my last because I think it needs to get down. And I think I love what you do. It's like. You can sit down with people that I agree with you and talk through some of those things that you are Ryan and ask the question why you know, and so there's so much human, and I think that what I want away from this with so much understanding of issues the opening it up like being open and inclusive is not just about talking about, things, but it's about the way you live in the way that you approach- and I think you just do such an amazing jobs. I thank you well guys. That's the conversation, that's what they should look like I'm just really really grateful for Alex for coming on in doing this with me, and I think that so often in life we just get comfortable because comes That is where we want to stay, and so

today I just hope that you feel challenged whether it's in your own beliefs, the things you ve been taught or if you just curious, Somehow you can take a stand for sending you believe in whatever that might be. But I love the way that Alex approaches it with sincerity, but also with often to city, and I am very much challenged by the way that she does things, because I feel like I've been prone to shy away, I'm not quite sure how to help or how to step in or how does Brad, a message when I'm not directly impacted by what scope none in so I'm just really grateful to have this born to have these conversations, and I will You know that it's ok to feel uncomfortable. It's ok to set. In the end this year, I've done a lot of work behind the scenes on. Why I believe things or why was raised in a certain way or what makes me people in why that is so. I challenge you to do the exact same. I hope that this space was a space

just like you feeling inspired and inquisitive, and I hope that you step in that within your life in your business and you use your platform to share the things that you care about. I am so moreover, alex- and I really really loved this conversation, and I sincerely hope that you did too I'd love to hear you. Thoughts about today show on gold digger podcast. Really, I would love to hear him and until next time, gold diggers keep on digging your biggest gauze. Thanks for listening to the gold, Digger Podcast dive into the show notes for this episode and all past episodes at W W W dad gold, digger podcast dot com. If you love the show share it with a friend the more the merrier thanks