You are listening to the gold digger podcast episode. Number two hundred and ninety three feelings and emotions are different and yet we use the terms interchangeably understanding the difference between the two and knowing how our emotions impact our lives in form, our decisions and we'd. Our success is an innate knowledge were born with. However, we can develop emotional intelligence. We can and understand the science of our emotions and absolutely thrive in life and in business, with a deeper awareness of, emotions and how we can manage them as a means to favourable outcomes. You gonna John Wilson, is a sociologist educator and assertive I'd emotional intelligence practitioner and she is here to educate you and me and emotional intelligence? It is a topic. I never tackled on the show before so. I am eager to take notes like actually take notes, radio

inside of you and I could have asked for a better teacher. So what is emotional intelligence? Can it be measured? Should it be measured and events measured way? can we do with that metric? All of these questions plus a whole bunch more, are going to be covered on this So today I am so wildly thrilled to introduce you to and to welcome t go. Nay, John well and are you guys ready this one's a good one: your listening to the gold digger podcast, where we firmly believe that work doesn't have to feel like work? Self made millionaire and marketing guru, Jenna Kutcher will help you redefine what success looks like it's time to hear from the exports, listen in on onest conversations and learn the best tips and tricks that helped others pay their own way and craft their dream career.

If you're ready to dig in, do the work and tackle your biggest goals you're in the right place. Here's your host educator, photographer and Makin cheese lover, Jenna culture. Thanks to US elsewhere for supporting gold. Digger scale shares offering my listeners a limited time offer of two months of skill share entirely for free, sign up got his skill, shared dot com, slash gold, digger and the number two again had, skill shared dot com, slash gold digger to to get two minds of unlimited access to thousands of classes for free things, ship station for supporting the gold digger pod guessed right now: gold, digger listeners contrive ship station free for sixty days. When you use a problem, who'd gold, digger, there's absent really no risk. You can start your free trial without even entering your credit card info. Had this ship station dot com, promo code, the gold digger

t go, I'm so excited. I feel like, as I've been watching you azure unfolding in this kind of new evolution of t go. I am like, in the front row see with my chin on this stage like offering it and so welcome to the show you are going to blow reminds the day quite literally, then I'm so excited you're here I'm excited to be heard in it. If you guys so much for the invitation in the welcome, hey. Ok, so lock me through, we were already talking about the name. Vigo, the one and only law is T go and what do you do sell Tito? First, as this eclectic, woman who now am, I feel like I'm a patchwork of life. I feel like you know. People say their stories, I feel like filmmakers, so many chapters and I try to embrace all of them to become teak. Also my career chapter looks like merits before ten years in December. I to babies, their babies

my diet in September wishes there were baby and then my son is ten, so one boy and girl I get to love them equally and have a favourite of both. I tell them, you know my favorite signs. I love that and I currently train corporations, organizations and team leaders emotional intelligence? Really big oil, I'm really big on the human behave. You're actually, and so I study I've been a student of the human behaviour for so long. It seems like that's, been the common trend, in my entrepreneur journey and transitions from whatever my focus. Isn't that that and and so right now, emotional intelligence, which is really not a new phenomenon, but its very enough things that training and catching I, and so it's one of those things that people are really starting to pay attention to, and so that's what I teach and training.

I love when trends line up with our visions and you're. Like yes, lagree now big eyebrows are in, and I like, I have only waited thirty one years for I've been back here. That's about my boy had dinner, it's like I've been doing since I was eighteen and forty three now, but when I think people like bought hair, dont care. Does your here? Don't like one going through the firing me there's your hat. Your hat throughout the priority is ok is to break down what emotional intelligence is, because I feel like we're, the customer this for a lot of us. This is kind of new, so break it down for us is insole. Emotional intelligence is interested. I can I tell you what is not. I think I don't know I would just love starting with what it's not first, because I think people have

Mind you, I believe, with information so readily at our fingertips. People have already made up their minds. They know yeah something or everything, gray hair. So I'm always like what is it not for a start with that? So what national intelligence is not its. Not this excuse to be emotional and I'm doing opener quotes. Familiarly motions will be the dispute on whenever you feel it I feel- and I give to say- and I get the feeling you have to accept it is not an excuse- for me an emotional and is my away to suppress emotions, because I hear that sea, where people think it's all the way to Canada cage which your feelings maintain your emotions and I'm using those words interchangeably for now, but hopefully I get an opportunity to tell you what the difference is less right. Now is eighty motions and feelings It's not await a cage them. Essentially, it's our way that we are able to first identify our own emotions appropriately

the key there is. Are we identify them appropriately? then are we able to see the emotions and other people and That's really care about. Emotional intelligence, though, is not just about understanding what I'm filling in real time in real life. It's about, can I see what that other person is possibly feeling to, and can I label it correctly and he's taking both of those things, and terminate how you're gonna respond and the goals for their response to be beneficial to whatever the outcome is. Why and saw a man is ass. You know it's really. I know it sounds really deep at some point, but another way a simpler way. Maybe then look at enough to say it's how I could emotionally two experiences in encounters are happening around me. So it's how I'm connecting rather it to the people to the experience to the opportunity to would just happened to me it's. How am I Maxine emotionally? Who love ok so light

I've into the difference between emotions and feelings, because I feel that this is important and I want to understand better to yes, I'm, as I love that she was danger, is interesting because so little queen back story about how I ended up at the emotional intelligence parliament. How long I was doing the brandy and strategy for teens and I've worked with over two hundred entrepreneurs on building their brands, their strategy, their stories, and when I read it knows what they really were. Trying to do is fix what they were filling and so well, and it came the big teams. I found a huge problem that they wanted it. In result, they didn't really care about the good work entrepreneurs and care more about the validation and not the good product, and just kind of got sick of sea and then I'm like. I don't think these people get that behind all this good stuff for humans and there's something that makes humans work there, something that connects all of us and if you look at the desk,

Initial of humanity you'll essentially see that's what Let us all is really how we feel how we act, how we respond our temperament and our aim oceans insult! That's how I even landed into I gotta do something different than just coming up he's in results when that focusing on the actual people that drive the results when this in life and his marriage in as a wife I'm alive, but hey, there's, no women who want intimated he's only by but whatever it is, where your success story. At the end, there is a human that has the driver and saw and were made up of human. I mean I've, emotions and feelings. Excuse me so were made up of human. I mean the country we humans are made up of emotions and feeling and saw the important thing is to know how do they different. So that's what we of course will talk about So can I just say I listen to a bunch of your progress and I love that they feel like team. I'm going with you feel like someone sitting in honor audio classroom

So? Why am? I remain frightened? I gotta be funny I earlier today it is as I follow you. I am like Tito Euro wealth of knowledge and inspiration, but, like thing here is something I think I mean. I know you say it's on New butler, lot of guys. It's something that we have it necessarily considered in the development of Britain's businesses. Where now It's like, while you're turning light bulbs are now all Gaga possess important. So it's literally thinking about what drives us. If we were to talk about emotions and feelings right, there is, how can we do that disconnected from any Marcia and when to talk about some of those emotions which makes it even more poignant where we can actually drive home the point. So let us talk about the difference between them saw a feeling feeling is really your belief about something you so if I say that this talk about the feeling of love, I think love is in the air united. We will use love, as in our example, gave up whereby

You I feel that love exist for everyone and action telling you my belief about love, I'm saying I believe in love. I believe love is real. I believe love can you know it exists. I believe the left can be attained. It can be found. So no I'm we say. I feel you also giving you what I believe comes about that feeling, which means it comes from almost like a learned, a better way to. Hey, guess feelings are more of a learned behaviour. So if anybody's writing, then it's easy to see it this way so feelings. We learn as we learn, beliefs right, so we might learn about love based up what we saw growing up and the crazy about that is always say. We either gravitated deviate from what we see. So what are you ve learned? It doesn't mean you gonna mimic what you you gonna make your own Belize, based off with you, ve learned saw If you saw a loving relationship between your parents, you might say that's exactly what I, while if you go what say like me, I grew up in a single parent home and there was no father around

still. No, that's what I want it because, as far as a loving relationship, because I didn't have a dilemma- snow deviated from what I experienced, but I learned my belief based off of what I saw some because I didn't see a five hour, so my mom struggling trying to keep up with three kids and its crimes because we all have three last names, Lobo thing here in my mind and thinking I don't want any of their rights so either. Well my belief about love, my feelings about love based offer. What I saw, I think that's just like this side by this important that when I say that you develop, You learn you when you feel you learn your beliefs. Does not necessarily you learn, exact. As I know, some people say widened CFO, maybe not still where would you feel about it, based offer, which you experience so feelings are these things that we learn is based off of a training could be what we works, but we ve been exposed to it. We will we ve practice in time we have light with spiritual rituals or spiritual beliefs or religious beliefs that make us think a certain way about something another

while others like right now have so many women right and we ve never had too many women run for the Office of president. And some of us have feelings behind it. Some we won't call at their good or bad positive or negative, but some have very strong feelings about. Should a woman being leadership while that tell. We? What my belief is about whether you in leaders, What do I really believe should be happening? Do I believe women can take on that role who I believe women could be so focused too drive a whole country re install. That tells me but I believe Now- that's where it separates from emotions because emotions almost a watch this using, I teach you know. Why didn't you tell me right here in this field? Many motion is an instinct sure. Response to the feeling oh, is usually in the reasons since thing shawl

here is where we are going to become. Like science is really click. Ok, then, shall I mean biological. It's a biological response to. What we feel and saw things about the last time you were angry. You probably got hot. You probably started sweating me I probably started swimming in my hand. I dont andirons, ignoring. This is how you my freezing the moment you find yourself shaking because anger is a biological response. And everything about our emotions in the same way, if you're frightened how your frightening home, frightened Juno, might look exactly the same physically itself, we're two different women from two different backgrounds. You might be my sister from another Mister bird flu is apparent, really looking at us, we're to totally there for women, but we're going to express that emotion about anger in fear and happiness the same so really quite clear

The basic emotions there's like four basic emotions and that our happiness, sadness, fear and anger, and from there we have all. These are the ones that look like anxiety. Depression can be an emotion we have so many and you do you hear compassion. Excite me grieve. Bernay Brown does a really good job. I'm going to add that to something for your followers for all the gold diggers, but she hasn't could list of all these emotions, there's almost twenty seven May ones, but the for core ones our happiness, sadness, fear and anger who loved all that does not, however, good because vessel emotions are literally, they kind of fellow feeling is so you ve outlines beliefs about something, and then it drives your actually motion behind it. So you're feeling about this, as I make you angry so using our love example, really quick. If you think about how we say you know that the love and emotion might be

scared of loves the less gold, someone who is afraid of love been get nervous, if someone flirts with me, I might get angry. When I see see all these married couples act as if love is you now and I'll, be out there this rainbow right, but if I believe in love and I'm excited by love every time I see one of those shows, I come addicted to a bachelor ready. Maybe you know we have failed in people probably believin round right, and so your emotions show up based on your belief, so that he can. I ask you a question, then please, oh yeah, I was so we ve been actually thinking now that you as you're breaking the sound and like I have been, exploring emotional intelligence. So much with my daughter as she's starting to put connections together of why you know, like stranger, danger like going to the higher and so like we're at the doktor other day and she had to get shot,

the danger is like will next time she comes she's gonna, be afraid of me and I like what I don't want her to be fearful of this. So the feeling either she attributes the doktor to a positive or negative will drive the emotion cracks down. Yes, yes, as exactly right anyway that examples, so in because now that you're, her mom, so there's a such thing as a ball, I should say: there's assisting on creating for emotional intelligence. In raising no intelligent, doing ass, like something I'm really working or for the new I'm first in line to have another baby Riley, because what happens? It's it's! What we show our kid when their kid there there literally picking up how we respond. So she sees you really so I call my doctor, my children, starting my personal baisers when they

stay here, she's BC, her almost as part of her care system that is apparent, but as her care system right. So you know what untying is here for she's here to give you the candy. You know grandma's here for she's here, to give you more you're not like me. They understood both of how you build those release. Relationships are our key and I know we're. Gonna am hopefully talk about a bit about the testing the difference, but make your eyes, but would also ships are a key component. So if you can keep that in mind for your daughter right now, she's watching the relationships you sunrise with other people, that's how she's gonna be so she might say does that their hurt me, but when the doktor says, oh, I'm so sorry she's readily to receive such. I'd, be one nervous than man. I love rather for me nervous, then a rounded said the dog man I'd just exploring this in so many ways, because, unlike how do I want to teach her and leader in

dont want to invoke fear on travelling or anything like that, you know it s a lot of common fears and, unlike I believe, a lot of is tight. Either intentionally or unintentionally, by parents who are kind of making their children, afraid of something- and I ain't- maybe I over analyze all this, but I just feel like man, you are in my head right now, so let's talk about it. A difference between EU and I Q is. That sounds like gibberish to me right now, yeah yeah, yeah running like when I say it itself. Endeavours to me sometimes told you what I keywords, really acts and easy to understand a few. Well, that's not what I'm IQ azure quantity things you think about it. Measures your Karla to intelligence and measure is how good you are a problem. Solving mass feels memory, skills, analytical abilities, therefore IQ matches right. So there's nothing did there

an equally when I think deep like it's, not it's very. Can you do this? You re like? Are you good at math, offering you now? Aren't you good at my work? What you number one, Problem, though, that how'd you, but each of you all night to breaking out I owe we're out. I literally was a school teacher, thorough, gray, fifth grade and algebra Pre Algeria algebra before at my daughter, and I was in the classroom for ten years old, Jeanne as in my lawyers, but where problems were high rifle, that's something that's almost difficult to make people change. Naturally, ok, so I q measures your natural ability at those. Kinds of things measurable thinks a cue Is that measures in a nutshell how you'd show up as a person it's how we show up at these human, Sir member I mentioned like humans, humanity, it's how we sharp as humans, so measures our ability to recognise our own emotions and then the emotions of other. Somehow

and so one measures who we are and how we show up and the other measures are smart. Now, if you want to really funny way to look at this, you can be really smart and still be a complete you so that you know the difference between your eat. You and I do you- can be story, Emily, intelligent when it comes to book smart and be worse person as a friend or the communicator or as a spouse or as a parent, and we don't want that. But the good thing about, that the saving grace, and that is one flew laughing motion, emotional intelligence, a is fluid, so it could be taught you can practice better, where I q is one of those things is almost its. I think of something like Don T make, I think, sixty five percent genetic fifty five to eighty five percent genetic I've checked as that but emotions or something that you can literally change. So it's fluid so

If you are ass, my jerk, you don't denouncing the how bout you bastard difference between they measure totally different things in the funny thing is equally, there is actually five areas. What measures and I'll say yes, but I'm gonna also include this. In that little fun getting back, you see a people, that is to say our people can continue, one is how we see ourselves. This is really good, because that way, when people say what what does it matter, it's easy it's. Why? how do we see ourselves to its? How we it read our then there is a big difference, arabic, how I see myself might not be how express myself, so I might be really shy, even though one I'm home. I know I have this within its right. Oh gosh, do I give it to the world so how I express myself if this is the second component in these? Are our main categories and then is how we in our acts in our relationships and that could be were coworkers it could be which apply

parents with your child, your daughter, it's how we interact in our relationships and in the fourth one is how we make decisions, and then the Lastline Watch. This is how we measure. Stress here like this, The way we navigate stress is so important to emotional intelligence and stress could be on the cash or take him for ever up your groceries. Two at work in your boss dumping here. The work on you and knowing that you don't have that kind of times those caught. That's what that means anything about it? How we shall be motioning to those things? Probably matters like how am I

spot to my boss might have known dub everything right away before actually do you wanna go broiling language, so those are the five main categories and under each one, which we will not go through. There's these sub categories that go under each, but those are the five categories that equal. As you know what I think when as you're saying this, unlike being an entrepreneur test, every one of those almost daily has like our really digging and like it would be so interesting. Maybe I'll challenge myself and my listeners, if you, greedy, you just reiterated yourself from a one, do a five of how your showing I feel like. I could be really interesting and, as you are explaining them, I was like there have been seasons where I have shown up really well.

I've been seasons where I have shown up really well in this area and seasons. Where I have really been awful. Witches lies. I know full well that more than ever live here is the really good thing about understanding emotional intelligence, and I know when I went to my sensations our directive. She drilled than an insult and its true out, but on my research we're not trying to be good at more really really stronger? you use that to balance so like if you are an entrepreneur. You do know that stress because safer and since I am very Araby Ray and so my decision making can go, if from zero to one hundred it, could be very plan to very the erratic? I know that I need to put people around me who hi in decision making. We want kind people all the time which the one thing that I train companies on and leaders on, is it you want people to be a regardless because

I can place myself in your shoes, but you don't have to be good at all of them, because with killer sounds like that's like were asking for perfect person, and I'm gonna do this for you Jenna. I wanted to tell you. I just want to there's an hour and then, if that happens, it's it's so great as like this ten page report that shows exactly where you young ass. I think it's in twenty, eight hundred and thirty questions like I just simple, yes or no, they take twenty minutes and you're able, use that, and then you see one you want to work on. Have I, It is not you just like. Ok, no, I'm really goody. I don't think I'll ever be a soldier unanimity, so I guess you're not so high in the social interaction piece. You may ok, that's just not me, but how do I make sure people feel great when they do have to experience, love this and I think a good. So I mean you're so right and as I am

king at my business. Now in my day, I wish I knew more about this before, because what so amazing, especially as your business grows and maybe use our hiring a team, is You said like understanding like I'm really great in this, and I need people that will either challenge me or support me in this area, so help me with this. Let's say somebody comes up to now. I t go, you know I'm in. Its renewal and I'm my kind of just getting started, and I don't really see how emotional intelligence plays a role in my six says, what would you say? Ok with Africa, emotional times when it was first derive when in the history of it was connected to workplace mine, it was connected to leadership in the workplace, the testing and says leadership or workplace. So it's if you're an employer. In player, I don't like say in the early, so to speak, but have you a team are part of a team or if the leader of the team, so I was actually

based on that and then from there it started being able to be applied. Research started applying it to other elements of our lives. Other roles we play right, and so, when it comes to your actual success and understanding emotional intelligence, You remember that it's how you shall love it's a game changer. All under less take one for self expression. I might be very opinionated Tito needles and educators Irene Times, but I also have to I think my that that can sometimes be intimidating in a row I have to warlike literally practice to say oh yeah and ninety my had, even if I have a response, is already after tell myself Tiggle, you can't respond right now, let them get it out, let them have it. Dont, even you might not get to respond today so on to say like knowing your strength of who you are and then showing up as an entrepreneur even for yourself now asked the good part. Even for yourself because I know you know this.

For north. Sometimes we stand, I always so you know you're a cup plainer and guess what you'll do forever plan and idea and you'll. Never com away from the planning part too nervous accuse right on vessels, Let me say that the planning we say that the Planning Party New is really really good. At decision making are really really good at stress management cause you can sit in planning, never give free tat. You can see that take a coffee break or a wine by regional leaders, and you can get bad at it, and so it makes you really great at that, but you my also be withdrawn with the self expression because, like this is new- and I know I'm supposed to be doing. This is a business, but I have I have a great great friend right now who she's I take it It comes to selling, which we all think say ass right she's, like I don't know, because I'm introvert. How are you an inch and she no she supposed to be an entrepreneur she's in a maiden designer but she's China, India

then, how am I to be an interval which isn't like you can't cut introvert here? I don't want bewildering. Movement has a job to do. We not entitled to become, doesn't hurt so soon try to balance how I think she would be like our perfect avatar we're talking about. How do you navigate this with you? No emotion, intelligent and how do You show up to other people she'll be Roman she'll, never mention! This is your. I do because as on the self expression component ends, but then what happens? If you start it happened and undue those layers and uncover what is it about selfish? pressure on what is in there and that's keeping me from saying. Ok, I don't have to be the social personal. Take these people home, invite them to my party. I just means and be able to talk about who I am and express myself entrust their into. That is good

loving. This conversation with t go so we'll get back to in just a minute, but first I want to think scale share for supporting this episode and the show since pretty much the beginning for too much of unlimited course. Access for free had to skill, share dot com, slash gold, digger, and the number two skills here is the perfect partner for gold digger because we believe in the importance and power of lifelong learning skills. In all my learning community for creators with thousands of classes in design business. An more you ll discover countless ways to All your curiosity, your creativity and your career weather looking to discover a new passion started photography side hustler gain new professional skills so that you can start that dream business. Maybe it's a social media management business that you thinking about sex sure is there to keep you learning and reaching those goals. Sculpture is a great way to make your downtime productive think, instead of eating next on that show your bending press start on a video

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first question I like our guy, like the more that were digging into this in more than I am questioning, and you can be like. Please be brutally honest with me. Eyes, prided myself in the recent years, as my business has grown in scaled, I genuinely believe that I am not very emotional when it comes to business and I feel like that has been a coping mechanism. Innocence too Allow me to make better decisions and I think to it as women and not not just because we're female, but as women gap where more emotional beings- and if I were to approve, my business, from a state of emotion, all the time it be exhausting. To me and so you're talking about those I MIKE is is a good thing that when I am in numbers person. So if I can see numbers that gives me clarity instead of emotions, which I think can be like all over the place, well,

Would you say Germany that says that, like are you saying like your fooling yourself? Are alike is legit? I don't know Well, it's funny, I'm so glad. That's how you internet Carcinus S, announcement, tyres and say actually all about you just described is a myth. Maybe brutal one. Is it? everybody's emotional regions only focus on a certain type of emotion, so we think that being withdrawn is not any motion. More doesn't have place an emotion or wheat. The anecdote about people who was shot. We think that people who are able to do see black away, you're even tied to an emotion. So say emotional, were all emotional. Quiet is an emotional person who says no. I don't engage in that at me. That's any motion here is a different type of meaning motion is one is more expressive remember. I said that second thing, we measure is self expression, so we're all emotional. Beware, you express it is different, so your emotion is, I need

stay focused, so I'm gonna be driven because you're, probably very driven so you're, a mere emotion of driven in you know, high achiever. In wanting to sixteen, which are also attributes and attitudes to describe you. I'm sure here is your way. How you emote in by saying I'm not gonna get invested with this from a heartening point, I'm not gonna put so many feelings, so, in other words, you probably remove a lot of the feeling is down to what I believe, I'm just more focused on getting it done. No jobs for all which does Yahoo Dubai. So your emotional approaches I dont get connected, yes, is, what's have and because I need to see the end result, you dislike shared. It's him some ceilings in my world and wondering why you want to be able to see yourself, because here is what happens when we do this. We intervene in ourselves up about who we really are here now. I

say this with this news. I hope I don't get in trouble. I hold no next, as is not about self witness. This trend of self carry using it to excuse some bad behaviour going is using it to say. Ok when you know I no longer put myself in those situations. If your energies, not right re, did you like my mimic voice, goes everyone's time much energy right hand in my mind like, but if that energy is happening to follow you ever meeting the doing, even you need the cut yourself off from you is not the people and its not self care is just putting this band aid or what you're hiding Ray and or you is. I think we in the beating ourselves up, and so, if you way is to simply say you know what I have to get this done, and this is how I get their cool that are used it doesn't remove being kind yeah, so long People I'll see you is ok. She's a jerk on tat will be written excision, making her great stress management. That's what you would lie, probably as long as our national, but she's me yeah

then it's fine to be that way, put somebody at the front to do the nice work being whispers into actual Gemma left bring. My brain saw my like I'm equals. I can have a creative minds lightweight, but with that creativity there has to be strategy eyes. Now, when I go into my strategy, mine, I'm thinking You know now take up. This has to be this this this in this, and it has to align airliner to make all the difference in the world. So find that your that way, you don't beat yourself up on him again. You find which your strength are built around Yeah begin very honest. I think the one thing people talk do is there not honest enough with other people? he didn't say: hey, I'm a straight shooter, usually every interview every conversation I with anyone, I was on my filters- broke existential Raven evil when I take those at the moment- and I enjoy that. But I always southern makes a right builders provocative complainants beat them

my comments? Are they all got out? I must also say that, like that, that is what the Vienna is. Like a team, you guys know when I go into Zone Amazon, don't knock on my door. I don't call me whenever you situation is, don't call my phone, don't tell me if you tell them that come in you and attacks blood Dmitri, financially, joy, about who you, I think, is the key to banning how you might like. Let me tell you the truth about me, for you, I'm in an era when the people around you can appreciate how you get there one. So much of that comes from my self awareness and just being honest about that, but will you it is something that I want to ask about. As you talked about strengthening different bags like. Are there things that you can do to strengthen the way that you're showing up based on emotional intelligence, whereas there really I'm so that their exercises, some of them,

If now, I'm not into twenty exercises, the elbows, every guy, forgive me for any of the experts are put out according exercise so late Okay, I will use my husband as an example. So one of the things we didn't talk about it be getting. My husband looks like you didn't. He doesn't look like me right, he's a white guy, our blaanor blue eyes, so he shows up as a c a power for the company. You works where he's alright USC inflexible in medicine, but he shows up in this powerful position can become from all the time for things like you need to come into the trainings at our hop because as he said they have, is holding hands in a manner hold hands outside the circle of the women holding hands and we're trying to figure out houses, gonna work later so nine into the corny practice? What's not gonna last, I think a lot of our work has to be inches spectacle. So it's not always about looking for the greatest inspiration in tools there what we can do for myself. The one introspective homework assignment I enjoy giving is too.

Shot down. So what I want. Let's go back to the fry core emotions. Rhyming forecourt motion happiness at his anger in fear Adam swear things which one is it that you recognise you, wanna fixity went to work on and I hate the were fixed, but for better for a lack of a better way right now, the one that you would improve upon. I say that I would say: viewed. Hearings were most of our, even let's digging the lesson that interfere sole right down the times, not that your fearful, but that you feel embolden. Are you still most ass, latch, written Chrome, the opposite effect is filling coffee array, and so I would say jotted down all the times. You remember filling confident and put was a round you that made that possible. So when I say what was around you was at a team of People- was that your parents was it childhood because your parents, believing you, wasn't a great book, you rat wasn, work because you're you know employees or your team recognized you as an hour

for nor is it because you're following day empower you and then I would say: ok how will assist because it's really easy to get into a social media ass where we think hey, I'm everything as I have all these people liking me, but when I come home in the two more my house or means I live, there is a problem that so I would say jot down the times that youth, that did, you felt the opposite of fear and spend some time on an item I can I remind list of when you feel fearful without sound, like tongue twister, when you feel They run around what you feel fearful. I wouldn't miss those times of what causes me fear and go through those and silky. Now what can I do to challenge because I can guarantee you gonna, find a trend in both list so vital all the times I feel dear upon me. It might be for somebody everytime, I think, someone's looking It might be every time and starting something new so

Depending on what that trend looks like, I would say, started looking into. What can I do differently now? Might look like it? himself in a group where there is more empowerment happening because you don't you see that every time you are fearful is because you fill a lack of support. It's getting somewhere like a gold doing what you feel empowered because we do need that if you feel fearful because it always requires you to take this huge leap of the unknown ray. I also call it like this hugely buffy. If it requires you to take this you mongers leap, then maybe at the time of ok, I'm gonna do something really big an odd every week, I say big an odd that could be something like I'm gonna go in the grocery store, I'm going to introduce myself to three strangers. I mean really practising and get outside of what its workers. If you're therefore stages. I say if you know you're supposed to be a public speaker right, but you do better behind your computer.

Then to me a good way is now go. Introduce yourself the strangest. By the time you get all their crazy reactions, you're ready for the stage whom I love it I mean alike. Emotional intelligence does take a lot of self awareness like we can't keep trying, the fool ourselves or like hide from me like this is who we are and there's no apologies, unnecessary, very engineers, sulky of the funny thing than what you just said about the known our self and yet introspective pride is really important and that's why I think that test really is helpful because it does help you to see ok about yourself and the other pied about knowing who you are it's really knowing with your hang ups are so the first exercise I gave you that's gonna practical, like that's this easy it doesnt really making out to be harder yourself, but there's other thing that I feel we are not doing enough of, and I think

its feeding our canoe. Let's talk about this: let's go yes on the things that I think really works, and that's why you're not gonna find that in your whole, like for you, VE, probably Google competitive injured by the other back. I think the feeding Just as I'm running into more more people who say, I don't watch them, because a soda, vs IE or make eye contact with the homeless or they don't they volunteer and places that are so easy. So I volunteer by reading at the library at the kids school because it does it pull on. You know an emotional string if Yo Yo, I think we have to do more, feeding our conscious, I really watching, is really sit and see what other people's worlds you, like exe periods for a moment what their experience and because here is a good thing. When you say how can I watch the news, because it's too depressing, it's only two present in that moment when you watch, because you get to return to your room, I've Ethel, the more we feed our justness, the more were able to actually check our emotions. The easier

it is for me to be a little bit more patient with the person who This is no slight towards anybody, but if you see someone who's about saying my age range in their forties working as a self clerk in a store, chances are either not doing it because hey this was my golden live, if I'm really aware of what people may be going through in a slow me down in it. That's how I train my emotions. So for me I try to stay connected to what other people may be experiencing. So when I'm complaining about being a driver for my twelve year old daughter, because ass. The reasoning aware for a minute or two? Then you can really think about the kids at the border, who are separated appearance like myself, really full and in a fluffy, but if you think I have my good, so I feel like feeding our contacts with the things that make uncomfortable is? How will were? Oh? I one hundred percent agree and I feel like that discomfort is necessary for growth has yet

as soon as we get so complacent and very becoming Hidell. And so are entitlement hazard, Suno, Americans we're just really entitled and we believe everything and we work hard and so the things I'm not saying that I don't deserve. What are you worked for when I say as other p What deserve the same things that I haven't up to now the shack myself, so I don't deserve what I work for. What I'm saying is other people deserve the same opportunity that I like. I really believe that sole since lay down tat in this report that you are using a daughter with be girl. She's, the oldest, my son, is a little different, though they don't ask for much like girls. Do right, you're a girl. Once a you know, everything was my son to find something. Every time you go into target daughter, she wants something every time, and so one day she was walking around acting kind of entitle, her brother.

Asked, or for some days I know what you're getting on my nerves idea. Those mountains rank and my husband says: yeah. We have to teach her that the world doesn't rotate around her, and I said no, I want to teach her that the world, rotate around her, but when it's time her to evolve and be the part of someone else's world. She has to show up the same where here, so I felt like we have to learn to not decrease we want, but to incur, what other people can have same girl. That's it that's very there that's right. You check their emotional intelligence. Am I always showing up to increase? Somebody else's bottom line. Am I finish, in their day. Right am I making and feel more special them before they said hello to me, can. I say something- and I I might regret saying this, but I want to say I feel, like you just unpacked privilege in a perfect way. That's exactly what it is

you're absolutely right. That's exactly what privilege is white privilege black privilege, any the privileges- and we know white privileges just prevalent, but most people don't fear. It does not accept, I deserve this, but so does she was so he that's always saying and privilege is directly tied to our. Showing challenge its directly tied to see myself or who I am. How do show. What do I express myself in a way that show that other person they're the same as me in I interact, which is a social component and helps make, decisions. That's not right because in a you something we don't make a decision. We ve made a decision when were silent. We ve made a choice. When we don't stand up for the things we know we ve made. A choice has ended, does that stress can sometimes when the stress hits we're like ok, here? This is too much. I don't even I'd rather not deal even with entrepreneurship right, so we you talked about it to be entitled to underpin. Think about it.

Sometimes we don't do it, because it's so strikes me, I never Maria. I just wondered I'll stay at this level, yeah yeah the way that you just described all of that in a sense, and so much of it ties back to emotions and feelings or even time how we feel- and I feel like I'm just gonna say from my own experience. I didn't understand privilege for a very long time and I feel like a lot of white women take offense to that terminology, because they think that the word privilege insinuates, that they have worked hard and the way you dress of Gaza has acted ass. I used to struggle to like understand why word privilege met in my world in the. We know you just explained it surely broker all down, no matter what color or situation or background or anything like gas,

that you didn't work to get what you have, but is that other people aren't given that same opportunity to do the same, and that's all it s really really isn't I'm glad you said that, because s key is so keen to most of what we don't understand is in. One saying lesson: that's why I gave you the scenario I use my time. I know the world does rotate around you. My kids live in a situation where they don't have to struggle. One thing you know Don T want to new lip glass flying at the local, but I needed to show up when her brother meet something you give it that same lovelier and I was just making sure that other people have the same opportunities and we don't see hours. It's ok, I mean Hidell nasty differences is its because in title men is different and worked hard right. I know you worked hard for you deserve every thing you get from a european deserve. Every emotion, but so does the other, yeah. It's not taking away their opportunity at the same hard work and that's just what it is near so good

ok, let's see minutes for your last answer- and I have like I mean I would give you in our I mean we let go. You approach social media from a place of understanding like the or emotional intelligence and how that can impact it. That's a I will say one this be up as you, and I know it, Take us another where there's some words. I just really wanted even further here now purposes line up into generosity, but in thirty two bit nuclear energy and care you. We know we know by the right, and yes because those have romanian and I think, we're leaving but being in other words being true, and if you don't have anything tourist, they dont say an hour, so The went searching for something to be is not necessarily emotional intelligence. It's full of self notional. Intelligent people aren't self absorbed so anyway,

to be really strong and our emotions. We have to remove ourselves from just wanting attention, so I say: approach social media from not things place, and maybe it's not a place for you, so I will say now that you have a platform. Everyone just may not be social media, but the idea that we feed- Everyone should have a platform like I'm really our concern with my following my numbers. I just I'm just now. I dont do in promoting for them. Like whatever happens happens, I figure it just has to be my authentic smear. An you show up in that way. I feel, like I told you, I got goosebumps just reading. Two seconds capture, George, we all now, I m sure winded and I was like everything I ve realized words like dang. Yes, yes, how working people find you connect to get the goody bag that you're, putting together an just beans?

absolutely okay, so I M going to put together a digital guinea back for the gold diggers, and so they can find that at its gonna, be Tiggle, Nay Jostlers tee. I e k, o n t J, o n dot com backslash good love. It is important for it flash out sports ass goody bag and then take it. A gene that commons, where my work is, I'm on social media asked Uncle John and then I have this new thing. That's a social club Arabs caused belt social clubs it's very new for with making practical for everyone. So that's where emotional tat! This is not just about corporate training under is really just talking about the real stuff in real time.

And I realize and tying our emotions that you actually giving me sober in your feelings there so that spelt social club on being cues so much for coming on. It is such an honour and thinking for this teaching today, like I feel like I am walking away, having just learned so much because of the guests. It offered. Ah Thank you so much. It means a lot because I just wanna stay true too, who I'm supposed to southern saw their bills. That I appreciate. I appreciate that you came doorway you're doing because the idea that you're putting out so much knowledge that people can say they don't have an opportunity to get the good stuff for entrepreneurship. The women near putting out there so keep to remove the ink. You t go Does anyone else feel like they just went to emotional intelligence school in the best way possible? Tito do now hold back and I just feel in the wind and empowered in the

experience that I just had in how I can take that and move forward would encourage you in you break down, emotions and feelings. And you start your really scratch the surface and dig deep into. Why is using your decisions as an entrepreneur or it can change everything I'm so so thankful Vertigo in the way that she showed up today, ready to teach us and inspire us, and I am leaving today's episode feeling so excited to dig a little bit deeper sue emotional intelligence. Thank you. So much for turning into another episode of the gold, digger pod guess I'd love to hear what you thought about two days of his own and what your biggest aha moments were head on over it. Instagram at gold. Digger podcast tell us all of the things and thank Teague overcoming on in sharing in the way that she did. She inspires me so so much. I tell him

sign gold diggers, keep on digging your biggest calls and thank you for hitting player on another episode of the gold digger podcast. Thanks for listening to the gold, Digger podcast I went to the show notes for this episode and all past episodes at W W W dad gold, digger podcast dot com. If you love the show share it with a friend the more the merrier thing,