Welcome the guys we talk about what up buggers, how you do where you been. You ok, welcome new another so guys we fuck it's the anti slut, shaming podcasts, I'm Karen, I'm Christina welcome to the show if you're cure all. I wanted to address this, because this has been on Instagram a lot if you're curious, where full episodes of video of the they don't exist. Stop looking is not a thing that happens yet again. This is all in transition. where with even area but will have more clip soon, and we should have long live longer clips on Google, you, but so that's really where you want to be going all the good stuff happening on Youtube. It's you tube

calm, slash guys be fucked without the you, in fact, and that's also where you are going to find out. how special for free on Valentine's day that's volume as if is you don't know that you're subscribe now

Christina and I will both be doing a live chat. I am eastern standard time on Youtube. Exactly we watching it with you live is going to be so fun. It's going to be a fucking event, so I mean it's like it's like an AOL Chatroom. Basically, where have yet you won't see. You see us like when you were twelve, but you pretended to be thirty two when you were talking to a fifty eight year old, but probably another twelve yo boy, you're going to be like that, but way better, because now we all have bank accounts and cars. Do you remember when you were accidentally on to catch a predator? It's going to be like that interview. No pesky, Popo yeah, it's going to be a super fun night, get some cocktails, but overall enjoy the comedy special. We don't distract you too much cause. We put a lot of fucking work in money and we really did. Please tell everyone, you've ever met, and this is going to be it's different than a regular comedy special. This is a fucking party. This is a good time. This fucking special is incredible and we're really proud of it, and we really want you to watch it different than a regular comedy special feels like the way they would start like a critique of it is different for us yeah. What do you think about your Dar stand up as different sounds like one of those critiques, but it's it's beautiful, we're very proud of it. So yet again, February Fourteenth Valentine's day. Is our debut comedy special, yes, and then also we want to talk to you about being a luminary subscriber. If you are, you already know that luminaries are safe space and now that we are going in front of the paywall after seven days

of being behind a pay one luminary we're We both necessity to bonus episodes a month. I am sorry in all my personal deliciousness for these bonus episodes, because my mom can't watch them or listen to them. Oh and boy, do I plot twists so in his bonus episodes, we're going be divulging personal things, and reading your emails. We have an incredible array of people's deepest darkest secrets and stories, and let me tell something I love these bonus episodes there my favorite things to record because of reform. While you really you you've heard it all and you have not so stay tuned. For that really excited the next bonus episodes coming out second of February for Luminary subscribers, oh so to actually be up before you here this up a so yes, they'll go, listen to it very exciting, make short a subscriber and fewer email ass. It sorry about last night show a gmail dot com. You know that make this subject line enticing, but like realists,

Today's subject line toxic fuck keeping my dog away from me help ought to kill in literally chat dear current and Christina Please keep me anonymous if you read this, I've been listening for two years. I am so grateful for the both of you. I am not understood by many people, but every Friday I have two friends. So thank you, I'm sorry for the long email be beats. Somewhere along the age of twelve and twenty five, I have completely lost myself. Oh you have come to the right place, government and no matter hard. I try. I cannot seem to find myself again from fifteen to I was in an extremely toxic relationship. He would build me up like a tower of blocks. give me feel better more euphoric than ever that he knocked me knock the blocks down as if I was his toy, I let it happen for five years ass. We were together and broken up more times than I can count. I put all myself worse into his perspective of me begging for him to want me. It was psychological too

yeah. He was, he was your razor blade. You were cutting with him to be honest Don't think I ever fully would have ever fully left. Let's call him John if he didn't pass shit that was God. Given you a fuckin breather, I got this for you. Girl we were broken, for about a year and although we were broken up, we spoke here and there and no matter how much there a p I went to. I had an utter addiction and attraction to him with still see him sporadically? Finally, I got to a six month period of doing self worth and being alone, and I fully ended things with him over text. I did not want to get sucked back in if I saw him in person deep down. I genuinely thought I did it. I'm free I'm never going to speak to this person again or let him harm me. Two days later, he died Woof it felt like all the work I did on myself was gone

I see yeah. It sounds like it seems like he. He kill hops. Oh please, just for the future. Can please lead with that. Yet because it's the eighties, like he died in an accident just like seeing someone at it. It's it's like different, It is, it is different than just diet. Yeah it is guilt. Was He did into me for saying good bye. He begged me not to do so, and I never responded, even though it is not my alt, everyone somewhat blames me. Ok, yeah he's go. yeah, and I blame myself for his death and I'm still working on letting go of the guilt and Snyder far I've been is there a p and doing spiritual healing weekly learning tools of how to talk to my inner child of uncovered the traumas? For my past I am somewhat successful architect. I M D. Looking and I'm surrounded by good, loving people who fucked me up but didn't mean. Do I have a good so much better than others, but I'm always drawn to this darkness. After two years of self work, I find we. Let myself give into another connection. I was

drawn and so attracted to this person. Let's call him Andrew the sex was unreal. He was so open made me so comfortable. We tried everything together he made me feel so incredibly loved scene and safe. We talked about everything I thought my person, the universe is rewarding me for the work I had done if only for it was that you see for your wish one night after two years of bliss, I was a little drunk and I got a hunch and went through his phone She's. Ladies it is wrong. I know I know, but I did it anyways every night I spent away from him. He was trying to cheat on me every night I wasn't at his house, he was doing cocaine and other dissuade so happy here I know you'd they really get your house be so blind again the same toxic cycle. He would apologize and make me feel so loved and I believed his grow, then change, but every time I got a little drunk, I would check and it was the same cheating and I behind my back, not to mention

but it was so easy for me to find. Maybe you want. I wanted you to find at an you wanted to find it. Let's be honest, its in six months since I've have this relationship good on you, girl and enforced, only. It is the same as my pass one every day. I have to fight the addiction and attraction, but I am aware- and I am trying hell yeah my bidding issue of all is six months into this relationship. He bought me a dog, probably to trap me but it worked is the reason I find myself writing this email. I have never loved anything more or felt more connected to in my life that I have to this dog a cat. When I left Andrew, he refused to take me, he refused to let Take her. It got scary. I would try to take her for a visit and he refused when I wouldn't answer trying to let them both go. He would text me that she was quote sick to get a response. Putting me full frantic yet he's fucking manipulating you he's he's he's working you like a puppet. He sent me pictures her weekly. Don't let him do that.

Me we miss you. Girl is abusive as do in contact you this was agreed. I dont know. Morris tyres are dry numerous times since to take her, but it got so toxic that I just left good. I didn't want in that environment. I know it sounds crazy, but I could see it in her eyes that she was afraid shit. He would scream and the things she would run and hide. I convinced myself just because he is bad to me- doesn't mean he's bad to her. If I just leave she's at peace with him, maybe he doesn't take as good. Of care of her, but he has a decent job, loves her and she's. Ok, no one! close to thinks I should put in the effort to get her back. My

pest says for my mental health. I need to let her go, but I do not believe in fact an animal haters in your life. You acting like it. If this was a kid, what they say that the fund will lower my admiring, but I do not believe any one understands the love I have for her. I constantly feel like I am morning, my dog. How do you keep fighting for yourself and doing the work when you feel, like you are taken all the steps, but nothing gets better, I'm so fucking tired. Am I selfish for wanting to get my dog back? No we need to let go you need to get the dog. If not, how do I get her back? Thank you for everything all this guy looks so toxic he's got a fucking beard he's got by.

to them all consumers or to people, you need to start looking up people's faces better. When I'm your role and I went on rising their heart, where you can easily aid other talks, I wish I had a career in your life that could just look at him. Real, quick and don't know. Can I just this one on the bottom is Andrew Guy needed just like a cat memory and breaking it? I did so. What can I just ask I've? Never in my life heard that before what does that mean, we do you mean that you can look at somebody, and I owe that it's not a gift I was now will want. It's called being a woman and understanding the types of guys that are out there. You got can turn when you get tracked. As a woman, you never fucking forget it. Hell have no fear like a what scorned, re and you're. Looking at two women who have been scorned before one of them for a bunch of times, because I didn't see it and now I do it. So I'm taking a break to make these guys, I would say,

I did them on a dating app they're both attractive and they both have evil under their eyes and and if you saw them in real life, I'm guessing you'd sense. The evil, like you really can like tell someone's like through their eyes like you, can censor women. Women have a sixth sense with that stuff yeah, you can, I mean not a lot a lot of them, don't but unfortunately but yeah, even when they do. They know like. I think that deep down you kind of know, yeah so because you're actually dating this person, you're getting to know them you're being intimate with them. you can tell when those puzzle pieces fit so toxically good. So you need to get this dog, I mean I needed to preserve us Judge Judy where assembling a similar thing happened, where a couple split up and link they went to or over the dog and watch its duty, did was they had the dog come in and I think she knew she was in a given telling the guy first but Lake when adopted that

I came into the courtroom. She just let the dog go to whichever person it wanted to be with and like that's how she made her decision, so I mean like you can absolutely go to court again like I ate it. If you don't want to take it to that point, but small. Claims court exists for a reason for stuff like this. is a dog in somebody's name. Like a couple, I no it's not in someone's name because, like you, can make a you'll have text messages to back it up. Yeah and you know use if you say it was a gift like giving a gift, like has a lot of legal of Big League, a heavy legal foundation, because of that something that happens a lot of times linked divorces and stuff people with, Well, I bought it, but then they'll be but it was a gift like there really is like a. The foundation for almost everything in the world that you can think of, because humans can't get along. So we constantly have to go to court and fight it out, but I mean I never want to put you know the

contain during unfortunately like an animal on a you know. Endangerment laws are not as strong everywhere. It depends where you're writing from it on other. If you, if you put that in the EMA, hopefully calthorpe because there's a lot of strong animal laws behind you, but that being that like no, I don't think it's done at all. He definitely used the dog to manipulate unions unfortunate. But what's not you know it's not fake what's not a manipulation is that the dog exists and that you love this dog and his dog should not suffer because you were in our relationship with a toxic person. So, I mean this? Is you know- and I know like your therapist- is telling you it's like for your mental health like this? Isn't it since where I would be like back, if you want this dog I think you should. The dog should be yours, cause I'm honestly worried about the dog in his care like you're, a grown woman, buck up, put a pin you're fuckin trauma and get this fucking dog back leg. I dont believe in this, like you can't handle it there, be you,

and let you are the email. You know what you want to do and like This could be a real moment where you could be really proud of yourself for standing. to him in getting it. You know and getting what you want. But again in these situations with these really toxic dangerous people like it worries me that he knows where you live most likely. All these things worry me like. I don't. I dont want to be an alarmist, but I think one mistake that we make as women in society is that we really like, and we don't. about how dangerous our male partners are to us and I'm talking physically I'm talking about like how often people are if we abused or killed by their partner like it's fun. It's like it seems funny, because it's just it's, it seems so crazy, but like it's so statistically staggering that I can't help but bring it

any time we're talking about a situation like this, so you know as much as I worry about the dog. I worry about your safety like this is fucking detail you're locks. Does he have a keeluk of these? Are things that like soundly crazy, mom saying them to you, but, like I really really fuckin back them up, man yeah, he should not be around you. He doesn't believe you are straining or territory. He doesn't believe you when you say things: you ended it with him and then he's texting you with a dog dangling the dog in front of you. We miss you that reeks of a toxic trap. This guy is a fuckin case yeah, and that being said, we're only, of course, only getting one side of the story so like what are you saying back to him? Are you engaging in it? Are you also saying fucked up shit back to him I mean there's two part because number one that's just like making a go on longer and the number two like. Also it's not going to look good in court because, like text messages, you can use as evidence in court. Just like a your emails stand up in court to do but yeah? I mean ye again like

think this is lake. At this point you know like for also, first, did you ask? for the dog back. It doesn't seem like in any part here you actually, this dog was my my gift. Like it says you to take her. You know it. I don't know how like strong your boundaries were, how you know a house, civically, and simply you said this is my dog. I would like to take care of her that kind of thing. But I bet she is scared and, like a person like this, yet no dont trust that they're taking good care of an animal cell specially when the animals a prop from innovation right, it's a little bit more difficult to like you know, then, if it was a child to to get a dog back, but it certainly is possible and again I just we need more information to analyze like what are the actual, imminent dangerous here to the dog and to yourself, of course, I you know love their therapy, but I dont think that every stare is of equal caliber I think some therapists are a little bit too much like you just have to see what you have

to feel safe like no. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and your loved ones so Not always de Lage put your big girl pants on any need to get that fuckin dogma yeah and in its also at what you guys should be fuckin worrying about unfair, be beset. It is not whether or not like you have this strength to get this dog. It's about. Why you keep getting a news, long term toxic relationships, it's it's that and how dangerous that is for your psyche, and and your physical is south. That's what you need talking about in you can tell your therapist. I said that can play this for him or give because I don't agree with that information yeah. Beth. I have nothing else to say: if you need you got it, you gotta, you gotta, put a pinning and get over it and get this dog, and I know this does not matter, but since you sent us pictures like you're hiring, but not not, you should put up with because if you know but like it, I extra

something about how you walk in the room and everyone's going to look over their shoulder. That's how good look your show and I need to fucking get over it and realize it, because what a waste of a face ha ha ha ha. I could tell it's amazing, because it's like it cheaper here. First kids what he's where waste that thing like? Maybe you yourself worth, is not equal to your face. Well. This is why I talk about in your in book. one pit wanting to be smart and funny over being good. Looking cause a dozen fuckin help you like, as far as like David gained, the world. No, no, no, not at all you know you're just like it doesn't it just doesn't help at all. it. This is like you're in a very, very bad cycle, and I would highly You do not get into another relationship, and so you figure this

fuck our guys were getting into relationships when we still have holes to patch. You got a patch your holes because you're not find what you need, the plug your hole in a in a partner, my god that's how eighty percent I feel like have romantic relationship start. I need to this part of me. Will you help and its two people running away from themselves and then it's going to implode, you're, not gonna, be home, well before you start fucking dating another. You have to be perfect because, obviously that's impossible and you're always growing your learning. You got some, but you have to be in some kind. working at working order and no one will else will stand up for you unless you are, person to stand up for yourself. Don't wait for somebody to come along. That's no you're worth that's going to stand up for you. That's gonna, make sure you get no easy your job. People are obliged to respect you, so you fucking tell them how to act. You tell the people in your life what they can

I do how they can and cannot treat you yeah and also of fear of also kind. This behavior of, like it just like kind of begging for the The tension and like just a day, you're saying you that you have this utter a dictionary attraction to them like selling me for another common dividend, about like you just now what I understand what you mean in theory and ice We have felt do have to take everything to someone, but it's just not it's not a real, diction. Really I mean it feels like it, but you soft as a person responsibility, even if it was a real addiction. You have to take personal responsibility. Everyone, even in the throes of a real addiction, can take personal responsibility and yeah it's not easy, but it's do you gotta, do it. It doesn't feel good. That's ok supposed to feel good. Does just looking over, do you think of us making fun of you? I ain't I'm your hair pending guys again, because this is not is not good situation girlfriend and.

This episode is brought to you by Linkedin with linked Becoming number one in beat, you be display advertising in the? U S, you've got a great advantage with their tools. in stand out against your competitors, will nurturing customer relationships and growing your brand. Scale your marketing and grow your business with Linkedin advertising as a thank you to their customer. for helping them grow three times faster than the competition Linkedin is offering one hundred dollar credit on your next campaign. Just go to linkedin dot com, slash marketing,. Yeah. What is it? A situation, though, see no law of New Jersey headline of Bananas in Hasbro Kites February, twenty fifth, twenty six four shows with just in silver featuring Lynn or again I'm an helium March third, through the fifth headline in Baltimore Maryland Common at your March, twenty fourth, through the twenty six at Mcgill Bees Comedy club I'm going to be headlining due in an hour and I'm gonna be doing a lot of talking to the audience cause. I have a whole thing of how I want to format my shows now and we're going to

you're gonna, be my guinea pigs, but it's gonna be fun and then, as always, you can listen to the voices at our heads. My solo pike, ass newest besides are available, only unpatriotic dot com, Slash Christina Hutchinson and then Fort Collins, Colorado April, fifteen and sixteen I will be had lining the comedy for to come on out Colorado. Hopefully I have a new our by then by will say not going right now, gotta be honest, our what we should win doesn't go well, you know I'm seeing the joke. Writing isn't literally just not inspired at all, but we'll get there and without a country as my pod cast as a political body cast but its economy, Pike s you and that's what Shane Smith And you can listen to that anywhere? You listen to podcasts. It comes out on Saturdays. I specifically the bus way I would say to read. Listen to it is on Youtube if you want

video action? Very nice video, full video on Youtube on the without a country channel and then please rate and review the guys we fucked podcast on Apple podcasts. Please please, please leave us a review. You know some of them have been a little passive, aggressive If I honestly any review will do or say whatever you want to say that actually help us too. I think I do really well. I mean visibility. Yeah, I don't do say what are some of the most of them make me laugh it's funny. It's just funny. When people go, I'm a huge fan and then just you know, tear us apart, but that's fine. You know, honestly, I didn't think was fair. If you didn't have being that nice. I wish it was that I don't I don't. I don't care about. Just it's. It's a it's. It's helpful just to get the flow back because it's been a while, since we've had full episodes on apple

of course you want to watch all the free amazing content on Youtube again at Youtube: dot com, slash guys we fucked without the? U. In fact we have an old episodes of did that help. We have two episodes of the incredible dumb bitch whoo hour, which is exactly what it sounds like. It's so fun. It's very avant garde, yeah, it's experimental. It's that's a really fun show if you're you know of our weirder fans, and we do prior solves on our weirder fan, yeah alumni and, of course, the comedy special comes out of February, fourteenth so check that out and then will also have this video content. Besides being our institution, which is that guy's we fucked without the you. In fact, it's also until talk so just get all the thing is, roll laying on all right, How are love that

That is the area where they re just talk about the third. I like buggered, I blank answer Christine. I went to answer for his home so glad it was you I went with it was so they'll about so happy reveal what I was like me. people always ask like I I get invited to like a lot of things. I never want to do, and then I saw casinos looking for someone to go to the third eye blind concert on Twitter and I was like this is something I would like to do go. Let me tell you when, when I we all have, while, if, if you, your first relationship, was tumultuous, toxic, ended in turmoil and horrific, you I I I what if your first wasn't, but all the others were written down also passed are still in the club and third eye blind self titled album. I memorized every breath of that album from back I listen to its probably more than I listen to any album ever in my life because it the timing it was.

It's just so happened that I in the lowest slows. When I was sixteen years old, when I could not articulate how big, pain I was feeling felt I had Stephan Jenkins to do that for me, and so this past Thursday, current- and I saw third eye blind twenty five years in the blind- in Plaza and realises so we were talking about their crystal ball, earn their like whew titles. Third line is, we will said I

line yeah you're blow. Yes shown that, yes, we must look, I've been spiritual whole times, given Jason's Beersheba, I would have no not easily had I notice that he was therefore for the entire cancer was yet I flew was either Hank, as you did have knows, the real and a good hair, and I was like well. I wasn't honestly me out Stephen Jenkins, let alone just goerlitz nice that I didn't know he had a very feet because that would have actually run the concert you so that I saw that coming here. I think he took his shoes off after the autumn between the encore. That's because I don't think he I think, I'm pretty sure he had shoes. I know he had shoes when he walked out. That's what I was thinking cause. I was like how the hell did I go a whole concert. I mean I'm. I do miss the shoes along yeah, but but when he was coming out, no, he had like very fucking clerk. We were second row yeah. We were club's standing room, but we were like yeah, very, very warehouse. So close, I snuck a flask in because I was like I I wore exactly what I would wear and at sixteen years old, baggy pants, crop, top a tight crop top and I fuckin snug.

Flask of whiskey in and we had and then we drank drinks and then I drink whiskey and I just watched him in songs that I, screamed at my Honda Accord when fucked me over will believe it. about feels good to separate dont know how to say twenty nine o sucks. I was walking somebody in in in his college dorm room while I was in high school believing him. So let me tell you a girl who wrote us earlier. I understand the toxic thing, but it came from it came from being raised in a put in a house where I was love, but you can't just sit there and cry You gotta do something about it s enough for yourself. If you don't stand up for yourself in life, you we'll be miserable, NEO jump off a building. I promise an end, one of the things that third eye just third eye blind means so much to me and I'm so happy we got to see them, I'm so glad it was with you and this girl was so sweet who was standing in front of us the whole time with a very tall friend who left for the bathroom a couple songs. He sought a couple songs left,

and then she saw how how was crying and she let me like go in front of us. We likes which places rockwork, and so I wanted to say Now, because I was film over seven Jenkins for like the eight hundred tie, but like really when you see I'm your like I will do anything for you within reason, but I was just. I was it's so smitten my mind. Also the the the word on the street. As he's gotten of a rotten, do yeah he's not the person alleged. Actually, let me tell you something: nice person wrote third eye blind self. Titled album might be a little disappointed. Okay, okay, Maybe because we're like, don't you get in toxic relationship, but I'd fuck, the shit out, even though I wouldn't date him, but I would fuck up but yeah. You would probably change him. So it's fine no skipping.

I hope that we are now facing us makes up and on his way to emphasise that it does not emphasised that another type of your girl has has not dated and two years because I needed to go well, horsey. Let's stop and drink water from the trough and fear. what we're doing wrong a guide and we're going to last a wrong and that's ok, we're learnin of a growing. That being said, Stephen Jenkins, call me any way where I was trying to make myself stand out because he was looking over at us, but he was looking at me. He mouthed. I love you to the other girl and I was like what the fuck, and so I was like someone. He knew that I didn't know she was a fan. It was the girl who, let me get in front of her. Oh, I thought it was the toll per se. No, that was her friend who he didn't know either. Maybe it was like a super just maybe a super fan who burned his laden. That's that's dangerous as it feels like he's, love bombing, the audience, of course he's a toxic motherfucker. Of course he is if you refuse listen to the lyrics, but I was trying to get him to notice me, so I

my flashlight and I shined it on my face and when the room went dark I was like. Are you afraid of the dark fuckin? stories around the campfire flashlight I face, and I fucking didn't eyes when he went to like shake everybody's hands and our section I doing that and he didn't shake mine. I got so sad and then and told me, and then the girl, let me get runner, told me he give me a look of like I've, never seen that before and then the after was like I've been doing this a long time I never seen before, and I was like holy shit so unique Christine Hutchinson guy doing something so wild that even security in New York City hasn't seen it. It didn't do what I wanted to do, but a gate got a reaction. Listen as they look for Steven J it was it was. I said I said the perfect word to describe the just described Stephen Jenkins. His look was bemused. So

took a step he took us out of the Korean WAR, Famine Gaelic. I use it because it's a lapse of very like a snake feeling. If on use but like that to the next level. So amused is just like to me just funny. Bermudas is like oh there's. Warmness, been used is like it's like there's a there's, a war, the warm this He felt loved anatomic end like like, like a kind of

the charm that you feel, while also getting a kick out of like that, that's what it's flattering, but at the end of the day is not going to do it. You know what the fuck the kid sister thank you. Do you gotta go to therapy legs exactly I mean it makes me laugh because if you do constantly that kids are gonna, kill that part of Diane and I gotta murder it, and it's also like like BB, and it's also like cause it's like. I looked it up a little bit cause. I think there's also like a little confusion that that was a puzzlement and like bewildered, but you know that song, like Bewitched bothered and bewildered like it, is like use. When you talk about love, you know, with someone that where it last, I don't know, but you know hey, but there is like you get there. I get there yeah. He was just like he like he didn't. He didn't not like. He just was like I'm going to step, he literally step back, and he was like I'm going to take this in because I've been playing for a long time,

I ve something like that. Before going to put it in the memory by yeah, yeah and it'll be a memory, he heard the bank. In the bank. Oh yeah, third, I wasn't blind to you because I went Danger Dana and that's okay. I was taken. I was swept away with. I really my emotions. I was very emotional during that concert very, very, very good cooker. I was half the time and it was a special concert because they only did this concert at the troubadour in L A and at Irving Plaza in New York. So he only happened two times they're going on tour and for twenty five years to our different or different war. Yet, and so does the know how their legs con heads I think, maybe a third. I had one boy yeah that's right I was thinking about playing very well. I think it's like I'm not going to do. I love yeah. I like, I love the concert with Social Especial and it only happened like two times or exactly Judy

and that is always nice to see a cancer with people who really love that bans that different experience- and I say I was like an era stock. I don't go to at concerts anymore, because I have that weird feeling ready. I can feel everyone else's energy and I have to figure out how to stop that. But say it was probably the most pleasant concert experience I've ever had as far as like who we were at the concert with because I gotta say that tension. answer. Energy is almost era, yet none of the liver of suicide, a hundred air, it's a bunch of people any be talked up: the ledge exactly rising minus all the thirty year old, I'm like I have a undersea only cash, especially and she has a very like she's, very queer, friendly, anything and its young, and there well sure, there's a lot of like people who feel misunderstood and sting

was on them and all those kinds of- and I can't imagine or those people were going through, but I can be feeling so you know what I did before the concert when I was an uber on the way there I put bubbles over us, like I put like bubbles of protection over us cause. I was like that binds really emotional band and I know it's cold out and I feel like I got a lot going on. We need to be protected. You gotta go. My mom did text me right before it happened. I was odd and I didn't let it ruin the concert paragraphs and I go on Nance. We ain't doing that today

tomorrow. She sense you are going to have joy. So, like I step it seems like a gay boy and also we were next to a wall, so I was happy yeah, so I only had to be next to fifty percent of the people that I normally would have to be against. I was like truly like yeah cause. I wanted to be close because I know Christina wanted to be close, but then, when I saw this Wall slick offices that were truly the best of both worlds, God is a woman, and she put us by that- will ah levallois yeah, so that was that was incredible, and that was just I relived the emotions, the really intense emotions that I didn't yet have words for when I was sixteen, it was bureau and as a thirty three year old woman, I am very proud of how far have come. Oh boy, now next up Oh yeah, oh, then, and judge us, but a button on a really was kind of like living proof of like that of the saying. Like things get there, you know it gets better which is like

joking, but I feel like because everyone at a third I bought blind concert by now is like in their thirties. That's why the engine room felt a lot better. They didn't have a toxic twenty energy. I know your intentions are nice by it, but believe me for your heart and brain eight. There are certain aspects that, when you're mad when your minds in order laying a nothing like a piece of mine, my aunt God it was you gotta, wait for that boys and girls rhythms frame does a lot like people who didn't age while got married, but like the energy was soft and nice anger. I don't do as I love that I felt like I was home. I felt guys in Pennsylvania felt like I was in the suburbs of Philly at a high school reunion, yeah whoa. It was lovely okay, so I don't know how I didn't look this up. Yet I figured supposed to the group or to current cuz the lady problem like you put a tampon end at the end of your period, and this is an analysis lashings bit that I'm gonna do if you put a m and you take it out too early and it goes to to to to to to to

its dries, try again and then you go well that wasn't the whole tampon, the ok, ices is never happened to me, you're missing, employed. The thing is hearts of it at the end, during the period when it gets when it gets lay. I just I like free, bleed onto a panty liner, all idle, because as soon as I can go without having something inside me, because I still don't, even though I know not a use of damp and heightened like, I don't feel like they're good for you to take down. It feels wrong. I just don't feel is wrong when I used just like law. I didn't read an article like human body yeah

saw, but I refused, and if what? If one more person even thinks of messaging me about a diva cup, I will block you. That's how anti that topic. This is one of those conversations you're a diva cup is my life as a plastic cup that you reuse, you boil in a pot of water, but not when you cook pasta in my old roommate come on that catches, your blood, take it out at the end of the day. At the end of a long hard day, a blood is currently there will be blood in the toilet and all over my face or whatever, and then every and when I originally ballerina and you're good at taking it out. But when I interrogate people on the diva cup, everyone has a splash on my store. One splash story is enough for me. No thank you just likes to shit in my household growing up cause. I grew up with two sisters where like. If this problem came up, my dad would just be like downstairs Barbara

Marissa needs. You got a vagina when I got my period, my mother was living in a car, so I didn't really have much help anyway, yeah okay, so those the whole tampons out is just part of because it broke off like a nap and like you'd dab, a napkin and water, and then you smeared across the table part of it breaks off right. Are you using organic? Aha? That's why they're there they're not as they're and they're, not as I they don't, they don't hold. So how do I get the rest of it ought to come out and after good news is, there's cross less and less concern, because that it is stuck in you because it's organic, but I mean like help like me with your fingers. How big of a piece is left in there? Like I mean who knows, I mean I saw a tour, but I know but like you like, just take one happens and compare it to the wagon. Put like an eighth, I just filling that's for

it's just like yeah. No, it's not! I mean it's not good, but I think basically we're trying to clean it'll suck it'll, stop it like with your natural lubricant lubricant will sop it up and it'll. I got actual goals, but, like Steven Jenkins, it's us does. It'd come out. Yeah it come out right about. What can I tell you it's going to do a mural at its sole little amount that I dunno that I would definitely stick your finger up. Just got my nails done too. Well, that's not going to do anything to your nails. Guess I just wish it around is. I would try. I would go fishing for some tampon because I know I'm not a douche but like go. Who do you like use with water? rinse it out yeah I mean cause, I don't have a removable shower head, so I gotta fucking get on my fucking back what I get here. My upper back and put my mean estimate work on does that my pushing back further but at least were it would make it work and make it push out. I don't answer someone

been through this before yeah, but sorry about last night's show, that's why the organic ones are definitely more breakable, even though I the the better of an option, because if you have the money, the micro tearing and stuff like you want to use organic and by yeah, that is the one I'm like. Should I not do my keyholes is going to push back up in there because I've been doing giggles. You know. Oh okay, yeah, you prob we must think another. Do why flexibility painful at this point to oh yeah, king? I will join you type or yard of adventure, and, while you even Jenkins off, oh wow, I don't like saying that sexual way that first name nope nope it's as though Helps moodily, you know what, after you left the content. I remembered who Stephen Jenkins Data for a long time. Surely Vanessa Coral tat? I had a chance to remember that. Go I don't want that airlines and then pursued, I think of cribs, where he had a plot alert in Chad, but I want to sober something of her of her body being in his

but I knew I knew Christina Man- has its dirty little Friday hollowed out baby. Yet a cool guy. Not now nothing says I control you like having a fucking madame this yourself at all, be a dump it at all. Stop that toxic dick! It was here, there's only her body, not her face, so they ve. If that doesn't show that all you are, I mean actually be very weird. If her face was that the Hales Arms cassettes Worley original things, not weird, I guess I gotta say when I got up the side muscles of his arms to go. I'm just like finger me until I pass out. He did have very nice writes. Had this guitar started hate when the guy has arms, like that, I don't even care what your fucking face looks like, and then he got to site? They sing like that, your poet of our time, he's, got a rough Jeremy, runner type phase. Oh, I think your mirror, so sexy yeah, yeah yeah,

third, the and other toxic person. Allow really exist. There is accorded so me, Jack in the papers, yeah parents I was just thinking about Dan Burns, a guitar at our muscles. Then I was like when you pointed out the arm muscles I was like. I know some of those arm muscles gum haven't. mentioned him and, while so yeah shout out at any the shoutout everybody yeah yeah, I think those that are all the abuse this is you mentioned, jumping off, before I did! I wanted to so many times. I haven't what it's someone did about four readjusting levelling. Quite sad, that's not gonna yeah! Well, that's what I wanted to suicide ban. What January's number one suicide January, it's a hot time for suicide! That's why I literally used to have a joke about dawn, commit suicide during January, because it's hacky, yeah yeah, said that to me when the

That's funny. I use my address wasted. I've you know come to me. It's it's just so fine Conquerin, we'll save your life yeah, like them least likely candidate to talk. You add, of jumping off a roof, raise our locked me at a suicide. A few times and successfully so didn't take along Yapped. I really do feel like roasting as a good approach to it absolutely is, but yet no it's a superset. I was like I fucking like this. Also I had a terrible night's sleep cause. I was just like I like to read really sad stories before I go to bed and then cried. And yet no other former Miss USA say justly harder. I gotta get its. You say it. Yes, she thirty years. Manhattan

her instagram, I kind of I kind of knew who she was from winning, but, like I wasn't like super familiar with links, you know heavily following her work. She'd become a correspondent. And was and had interviews with a lot of famous people, Lady Gaga, all this stuff. and it just seemed like a living- the cool, absolute coolest life her energy and interviews just interview, Denzel Washington. She has like this electric energy one of, gorgeous humans, I've ever seen in my life. And so it really was like a reminder that, like you, can hide fucking pain. So well, and you want to nine. So I guess that's like a sponge in this internet based world that we live in think everyone assumes like if you have a good job and your gorgeous like ever like what more could you, while less as a medal? Lotta people like will leave comments like that? Look as if in a beautiful, successful people can't be sad, and I know they're scared. I gotta do something about it that, like cancer, annoying, if you're, not ok with you, but

just just a reminder that just because someone seems to have it all doesn't mean that they're not suffering and certainly doesn't mean, can they can take? take more than somebody. Then somebody else- and you know she literally it was. It was actually kind of creepy because she had a smile on her face in everything, with the biggest smile just like, because sometimes I look at him like he wanted to be. How can I see through like Anthony Bourdain? You could see his pain, you know, but a lot of people. You can't see their pain and you know just to, I guess, a reminder to treat people with a lot of empathy and you just get the toxic shit off the internet like if you don't have real truly, like you know Bambi World like, if you don't have anything nice as they don't say anything at all, it's just like kind of not necessary the amount of like the comments, I see online

and this is not like I'm not saying. This is why she took her own life. It has nothing to do with it, but I think it don't add to the garbage of the internet, yeah yeah that and that's the only way that we know a lot of people like this is from online, and it also made me think of ice aims, Gov bullied into suicide What happens? It happens absolutely Alla time. So late get your words. You have meaning, and it's just like law like wine, like would be freely I'm going to lying to say those like, yes, is as important Am I saying this because this person apps he needs to know this or is it because I feel like shit, and I am bored like yup people aren't like your playthings. It's not a tv show that you flick on when you're bored like a real human being behind behind there. Ghana sounded the day. One thing that we all have in common is: we want to be loved, and so your kill yourself. It's not that's, never know, that's not the path so future. But who thinks about it. As somebody who thinks about suicides from time to time, does it get Superfund Preston, sad talking

it really helps to a friend, I'm lucky to have comedian friends that I could talk when they can rose me about it. For me that finance, but talk about, if you're sad, you're, not burden, anybody? If you want to talk about it, I promise and you're never meant to kill yourself. The path for you. That's not the way your life is supposed to end. It's not your meant to endure this pain because you are, to see the other side of it because I pray I miss you. It gets better yeah and dumb her last her less pose an instrument which was like right right before she she took her own was I interest. because she has a zig beautiful picture of herself and then she said: may this day bring you rest in peace, and everyone was kind of, like obviously she's talking to her self in this post, so I guess I hope. I hope that you do have one now wherever you are but super. Sad. I just wanted to mention it seems not appropriate at least bring it up. Yeah yeah talking about

as you're not meant to bear the women by yourself. Yes, alright,

his guest. She is a stand up: comedian and actor. She is co writer of the trivia game, a latin card revoked. You can see her work on writing for vice e fashion, police and h B. O please welcome to the show gloriously Samara. The thing is gonna be just the era, the famous then again, the only jewelry makeup. Like a cat, my favorite, my favorite, the ocean. I see there's my panty why the council would bear road. He just did that and there's no way the down.

We are eagerly glories Maura. So thank you for having me I needed to be here today that, though it having Krajina how I was like, I will give you the right here, oh yeah, for an hour, then I go home agrarian Araby. We being I cry all the time. Otherwise he saw me ass. I was I was actually you're prices more. Yes, I have a price. Is more all I'm guessing you don't have. Why not have a major labour fuck? I cry I'm allow, I feel it. I feel noise untiringly were given the lack of a German, I suppose another, the fuck about shit. I'm fine of those two sides are pits. It's a lot girl who is the most suitable budget will be far away and everyone the vibrio bad too. I don't. I don't hide how I feel at all all trial. Think I'm doing ones like is uncomfortable. We can tell your upset.

We'll talk about it. I know right do right, like long paragraph tax no cost does that lets triggering why so having graduated from man. So writing soliloquies through It's good. Paragraph text is better than than the one line yeah. This is crazy. You can't do that. Don't do that my hand, that's going on nothing I said it's when you twenty do with light. We all day yeah, it's going gray. I've been there my stand, and I'm just

going through his heart. This is stupid as heartbreak, but other than that life is great. Like heartbreak sucks man, it's one of the worst feelings in the world, but last time I saw Corinne, I was still going to the shit do this so that was like several months ago. It was a November yeah same same holiday. I'll, be sad about things. For years, did you go back to the person? I didn't thirty day, no contact, I'm one of them bitches. I read the blogs like yeah. We said that I wanted them to be like that either no contact he'll get back shot right, oh he'll, be back again. Doesn't he know you did want to learn back, I Y a bag. I love this man yeah. The thing is, though, when you don't talk to them and then they're like alright, see ya you're like ray. I always oppose the usual economy back so yet we

and we ve been we're. We're things. Are we really going we bring to cites? Has gotten dominated the Pike Island Stu? I will. I will swallow. I will swallow my prize so hard if as a certain level lane of thirsty. I think you know that makes you less attractive. Irish, I stop me, you know what it's a greater role, and that is that today, as well as they always nice things, I'm trying to give them the opportunity to be a better place when I'm alive move out Sally does apply, sees radio like another comment, if I was at her. This is why you met his age warning gunshot by recent events. What's your destiny, you that's me yeah! That's part of the reason. Why hang

so much cause I'm like, are you sure, that's what may be best reputation for those on Sally does that we are well on the Avenue ACCA family members yeah yeah yeah like I'm, like, I don't even know my life you're, not in my life, but if you're in like I love the shit out of young, you are protected areas then your leg, it we're not in there. I just don't even think about you, its reality. Yeah you're, all of Europe Lucy for everyone. So we have made the greatest work work I want if his intoxicate. I know this mother possesses a girl. This closer to Athens, allows and even appear to have done. It is thereby like what are you still need any overall re or not liking? Fancies, tired, everybody's tire right yeah, you, ladies, are this is new to you met. Then you took over you. If I give you ten a thing

it, sounds like one day I gave her the guy when she was to it was how Michael hi remind myself of why you're not good. Did you make your list in your phone my list Why don't like him of reasons, but he's not good for you and it's not resource? I ask that you don't like you don't we know you learn. I know now I made a less light chose to ignore yeah, I'm a little by little is among our right it out again, and am I happy have to make the programme. Is there anything you can always that you can share with us all. You actually put see. Ok set us up that what constitutes mean one thing you data you're, not really is not really a year behind. I know has higher you hit that part from anything, but I thought you add what am I have to hold high? Only I lied to me. It was. There was a conversation. I can tell you everything, but we we master in advance. I make are ready setting. fairly array bomb you know, have not thou right.

as someone with a pandemic, that's a different type of relationship, because one out of desperation that no other option I mean I always have options. I just never want I never gonna me you now, but Zaire amounts that book but right, but we met I just we are I'm a really complex person, I'm annoying. I as all of us. Really I'm alive. I know that I'm alive, I'm very supple aware. I don't really I to be very What about harboring into my life cause? I don't want to scare any more people away than enough to really relate to right, so I'm like okay. This person seems to like really like me for who I like who I

I smiled. No, I didn't say obvious, like I thought he really liked for who I was like I'm what gave you to embrace who? I really am the fact that the vault memories do you replay of like yeah. These are the good times we went to. We went on a trip together where we went to Puerto Rico, Pedro yeah. I can't I can't say too much because I know there's going to be public, so I can have other people, together, we want vacation so yeah last night I met his family dating let me reassure we were dislike. You could not know your children as well as that, wherever I said it is without doubt on a plate. Owing to the initial, you cannot get outta that that I've made a mistake. Before I did. I was actually bahraini myself for this last night. You do not get on up

unless you have a title vi? Is the wrong way? Do you wanna play with the title Colorado? Where would, and I knew it was a bad day on the line, and I was lighted, it haven't I: U nine eleven Vyvyan eleven yeah yeah, I know little or not. But why should we you're? Not data may have done so far. But what have you wanna go unnoticed because I was gonna have a whole phase involving multiple vacation with the same guy, no different girl- and none of this is this- is me getting over right? Yes, yes, he paying. Are you paying or use flooding? Well, it's it's a pan. You can get on a plane if he's paying. Yes, I'm saying like battle, I don't know ever met those manga was gonna just going about going to go up the about me. I was

I go ahead and start dating and let's go believe me. This is the start. This is not a true crime. Podcast gonna end up dead, though I saw this guy, this guy, okay, so you're, currently you're, currently trying to get over somebody trying to like kind of like unstick them for yeah. Basically, it's at that we're at the end, it's like, he told me everything he could tell me. Why didn't work out like what's? What's stopping that from happening he's, just not ready. Yeah he's just wanted, and I don't

he does, but I also like being someone we're with someone. You know other intimate parts and the way I can agree that he's like. I knew that he's out in a good year for alleged I'm you that he wasn't ready and I wasn't ready when I first man, but you know, as women like what goes around I write to Morrow is an excellent. I actually we myself may aggravate this work, but meant that all do that they will I wore like. I say they tell you who they are yeah, I mean it, but this is that they must complete at another prices. Motion for music is so you are now forever than that. What I'm gonna like, because the people, but I say that yeah light so is this: is this we're gonna be forever because I don't know why they lose up to now? Is that what it is a huge and honour not eligible all its is you have to have high standards right off that that's what I learned I haven't tried. I can tell you from experience yeah. I know somebody who has done it and it's worth a pretty well for a career is guaranteed as if I was having yes, I mean

was it. My track record is far from clean, but you have a track record. Do have a track record. Well, at my new thing, is I just really go through boyfriends, fast right out of that kind of learned. What I'm looking for and so I used to be very hesitant or like getting our relationship and and stay in it for a long time. But now I just really go through them fast and you know emissary therein. I knew when I should. We always know that's the day s at eleven new. I said a left on this embers, Twenty. Eighth, the two thousand and twenty one yeah yeah, that was as only a few weeks ago, no twenty twenty sorry one hour and twenty twenty a year. So now it's like, I lost all like I'm, not it's not his fault or cause. I participated or is that right? But well now that he has some problems like this? This regret, like I was thinking of moving to L a I feel like I've gained.

In a way I feel like I'm in his apartment. I don't really really love that much. I'm like. I wonder I almost wonder what happened or I would have just left right and said primarily because of him. I just first of all: finding an apartment is a lot of work. So I had found something I was already like. I was stayed in a hole. It was a pandemics. I was saying between hotels. I was like. I just need to pick a place and I need to pick it now cause I'm running through all my money. So I picked an apartment, and part of me is like if he was in a round in that, because you know we make decisions by who's around our lives like if he wasn't around. I wonder what decisions I would have made. So I'm not blaming him at all. I'm not blaming him at all, but that's what happens when you fall in love? You are yeah, you don't really make raw like all. This is definitely for me for sure you know yep, and that was in this beautiful place. I was if man right, I've been doing stand up for a few years and the first two years. I was completely single and it was one of the best like yeah, was lonely some days, but I didn't have any distractions. I was just like working working working working and now I'm like you know, I really feel like leaving I don't mean to take the show like that

as we are love, you send those the Priscilla bat like bit now so in conclusion, I shouldn't bright eyes to laugh at me, Due to let you know, I wrote less look somewhere in concluding, I should have left and everyone use the lesson. I have the feeling that I have left, but is it so hard when you think I feel like this presidency Oh may, and I know I know bitch argue about have you said, that's a him outright, Andy legitimate normally omit have you so that word didn't. I know about this. They never stupid, but I know how nobody has it s got here like we ve talked about like the fact that, as he said, but I have no one point like he also saw as having kissed enjoying a bush. Is not ready with that? He used the word soulmate. I don't think you or something He said that he loved me, the most out of everyone. Who's ever loves a good track record like what do you mean, but I do like how he's not a real like I'm like? Oh he's not like a whole guy like out here, like he's a really good person, I'm not even trying to like defend him so that

I got back together of question always time with to wake you up today. I give up today oh yeah, we were supposed to have lunch this week. Romney said I I I dislike that doesn't sound like you got an angel gave up today. It sounds like you might have lunch this week. You quit. I quit smoking, where you can like those moments where something bad happened, the it's the fan, yoga cigarette, those of them once where you don't smoke right right, so it's the moments where you want to so badly. Those are going to happen, but you gotta say no so the either brunch in the law,

I was right there til can be. Those are the moments that I made. This is my. This is my thought. Process is a lost cause. The thing is that, if you really out of my life, I'm not going to see you again like you write, many men think that I like how you believe it. I just imagine you in the apartment with this guy, like okay, I'm leaving now, I'm really I'm going to leaving. You won't see me anymore, just like watching tv know that I mean he cares, he's not gonna do that, but I definitely I definitely do make announcements like this. I'm leaving this we leave me yeah, he's I m c, I a conductor, girls, I mean he's, so he should fight.

That's how you know. That's how you are really fighting right now, but you said what way, how do you know when you should give up and you should give up when the person is not reciprocating on the same level, you're asking yourself if you should give them? No, no yeah, I think that's all right, Mama you're going to park hasn't talked to other people about it, but honestly I'm pieces to get around this helping me now. I know that's what that's what this is. What yeah yeah yeah, I don't I I I'm good like when I don't. I just got too involved and I think that's the cause. Now you you have too many of my feelings. I should've I say I should have left and there can at the three month mark you couldn't be like ok, this was an hour that idea. You say you got laborious, why that is I visited worker, I dont think anything personally, but after I you're with somebody for like a year, your back. For this I go K wall I vacillate, as is my fault, is, is also too it's like you. If you want a commitment, go after what you want, but this it that's. The thing like I don't wanna commitment from anybody from, but how, like I'm fine being by myself, analyse unfounded like now,

oxymoron. I'm all the way and like he's when I tell you that he sat down and this conversation twenty times he's clearly that he, but he's saying like it's not about you, is that I cannot even show up for myself when she might, and I truth and I want to enter the the thing. Is I, as a smart woman, I'm a college educated woman, one of the best comedic and the entire world I buy islanders them is in a mental level yeah. But my heart is like ok, but I'm you saw me except right and I am but I gotta give it was amber. Thank love doesn't weight per people right now, and these are very these calls, like all bad timing, the wrong time you forever at others to appreciate that should be put it out there. if it's going to be it'll, come back it'll happen, and I I believe that, but I feel like I pushed him away now. Where are my paragraphs, but he always sent him the paragraph baby as a lot of he wrote back. We just talk on the phone all the time, just pick it up or just pick up the phone.

have you ever pulled away. You did for thirty days. I say it for thirty those stated, but then you tell him you were going to pull away yeah. Do that, to you guys that the strongest bits that I'm not and I was like- I'm gonna block you now for me- email I know they're like a sorry to read your text until right then like when thirty days was up, you texted him immediately after absolutely yeah and he was like well I'm right on schedule that no, the truth is that I have to leave and that's just what I have to do yeah I mean because, unlike unlike a lot of other stories we hear on this show like he is being kind to you by souq by telling you I am not ready yet know he thang for men. It's like you said I think men more than women, and I think this is also why we're behind is because men, a really is so much more about timing. I do feel like- and this is kind of like upsetting like men when

ready to find someone it's whatever beaches in the lonely, and I believe- and I really believe to be a bad idea- why our never have, as in others they look. We await us as a way out, and it's always a rare always to catch. Someone doing some shady showed that wasn't because our warm feeling here, I'm just trying to get someone doing right yet another way of finding is that now. I also here that, if you're the woman s these through, like his China finds himself, is a good he's. Gonna leave for younger the owner of a Yankee all good and is going to use the skills you learn from you back some other big guy. That's got is often doesn't use, Ryan and move on to someone fresh re, exactly who was who wasn't who doesn't have age on their face from helping a may, I rise in great out yet from all the trauma that way below two words. That thing is that members up about emotional labour are incorrect for three years and where we have absolutely no multitask them. So I woke as my dreams, Indonesia, but it's like you. I am

well dire like arm so anything. Mars is another. He has been leg, you can't. We will try to be friends, but if I were you, research on up the same way for each of us as I've, maybe we do need to live a significant amount of time without talking Somebody, oh, I know. Well, we will hear the thing that's good, you know was actually you want also, hopefully aroused and miss. You yes like I feel like if nobody is as good as you so go out, there get get whatever pussy you want I'll, be nice really does this waiting at someone to miss? You is to have them date, someone else because at my right, that's when I most missed miss someone like I won't miss someone and then I'll deed, someone else, you kind of pails in comparison and that's when I really miss them. I think that's the key you just have to confidently. Let go and truly just in your talking about astrology in all these things, so you have, much faith in the universe and had on ways I pattern up. I've lost

I I know what I'm saying I'm saying like you have so much peace faith in the US in some ways, but like in the way that it's like working in real time and tangible you're, ignoring exactly what the universe is, trying to look at your moon and rising, and it's like what you said nah. I think she was dragging a boat. That was her way out of the first one, to tell me that, let me tell you something: we were in L a several times to go to the store a couple of times. It bears repeating to get a real, clear picture here I was a guy that I met when I was nineteen and he was like older. He was like a on a tv show and blah blah blah, and I was like. Oh my god, he likes me he didn't like me. I was nineteen anyone at the park and and pussy that went on for years, and I was obsessed with them and I was like he'll come around and he never did and then and the weird. Ella years later, I had already gotten out of a serious relationship wherever and um he he he kind of dicking me around, like he normally did and

and I get us lazy or other european parental. Unlike red weirdo, like. So what's good and he's not me back, he just said earlier, and so she takes my phone guess I'll go fuck myself, send it. He calls right away and to Walmart the last day, we gotta tell ya gotta change the narrative you gotta, take the power back, knows you're being a bitch okay. So, as someone who's a bitch, I will actually say it's about changing the pattern. Yes, so for me, if I want something because I'm always a bitch, I have to be nice yeah, but you guys are always nicer when we want something you have to feel like you have to be firm yeah. It is what you have to be firm and you have to say is you have to say I'm not taking this anymore? We don't follow Serena when you walk all of our parents. You know you can walk all over a substitute teacher and that but there's some you get like that's it. That's the best example giving up their sobs like a census data. Are you are about this? They, like

you're, the one that he could walk all over change the narrative and be the one that she can fuck with young as he's not getting it from you right as well as they he's. I walk you all over me. I am a little bit off. I don't get it I want, but he's not over here like walking, he is walking a little bit, but not over yet but change that, and I I I you know if it's meant to be it'll know. I know I know, what's going to happen, I've been here before he's out. So this is this like this is a pack. Are you a therapist? That is a little bit? I know a lot of therapy a little bit of a dating pattern where, like so invest someone and that I give it my arm and they like you're, not ready, and then I move on and then they're like hounding me like I want to be with you. I want to be with you. I want to be with you and I'm like no crazy. You ve already moved on ya, like I have a eggs from like tat. My my first college boyfriend. He everyday hails com

Every deal led me to fuck allow go by merged with him for help. I would say that if you like a year by here, when I tell you that may drag me through the mud like it was crazy. Like I said it was kind of a you said it was a lie. Yeah, ok to me is there may be severe and another wait like knowing he physically software like I was born in the air, but as we will draw from that is possible, but I must harmony novels. I think that at the end, maybe you could be to those like so I so used to being abused right that it's like this is normal by because- and this is my personal stories- my mom was severely mentally ill and I didn't know upon me- I was gonna get so my version of love was volatile and unpredictable and I tasted and getting hurt a smile at me was the biggest high of my life. So that's what they chased. Ferment, ok, so as not to take a break yet norms

Well, I was taking a break normal to be an amethyst. I I bagged a guy yesterday, so yeah that's good. I was like I saw after the show. No, no! No! No! No! I wouldn't even take me out. So if you then we'll do some of that, maybe then I feel bad about fucking, another guy. That was my next question. I just gotta talk yourself through it cause. If you found out that this guy that you're pining over did that you would lose your mind, honey, I wouldn't lie. I would go ballistic right yeah. I hear you yeah, so I've I've been face to face with it, but he doesn't want a relationship. So that's what happens like you have no say over at night that you every day but, like you, don't have any say over what I do. Yeah yeah yeah yeah, but is he willing to still like hook up with you and hang out with? No? No, no, he complete! That's what I'm saying like when I tell you that he has a really good character. He's like we are more than sex. We can't we're not set a boundary with you, so that's good, so he set a healthy balance because I don't feel like he wants to protect the future. I do feel like he's going to come back, but what, if he does,

This is therefore one of you. I carried what up up the thing is not located. Just give you a basic all this business held up, its people do come again and yes, I think, there's a hundred. They have its own coming back. If you like acts because he set these healthy boundaries and so like, because once you get, we demonstrated how is as aid alone Ami, if you so I am, I can you give me the chances and right now, when it is my fault I have to, I have to walk away. I he gave me, though you ready said hey at me. I need you to just leave me alone, for as I do, I do I as on passing through. Where might you know why? I gotta be as the webpage yeah. Ok you, but promise your life is one also, you love. Someone like part of loving someone is respect during respecting their feelings. Know first so like if he, if you love him and he's in a kind way telling you like, I'm not ready. Can you give me some space like because I have had situ?

like that were of a vast for space, and the person gave me space and then I did end up getting sadder without learn, because I really appreciate that he gave me the space that I asked. Why, because I wasn't playing hard to get I really needed at, and I would like your coming onto strong and I will say it scaring me it's making me feel uncomfortable migrant labour that I was like a Munich could give me something to know whether it was an and then and then I like more widely. Year later, but I'll, but I ended up coming back to him because he gave me. space, and I thought that spoke a lot about that man's carried confidence is very sexy thing. You can give somebody's for another hour, everyone that already, it already was. I just have to leave him alone. Yeah. Ok, it's it's totally fine! I just have to remake my. I have to We evaluate my philosophy on love, yeah, current philosophy. My philosophy is that if you know that this is your person, you would do anything to be with them and maybe it's a little bit too rom com. He said it's wrong comes, it is wrong.

cause. This is like for me. It's like I'm about to be thirty two this year right. So it's like an updated I've had my few share of dicks and dates and shit Sixteen days like when I met this person. I was like. I know for a fact that this is my person if he's not feeling the same way, then maybe it's not my person right you're, I mean We can see a lot like deep during your person. A number one thing. How you'll know is that they also they like you back You'll excited. I believe, though, that what why would you feel such a strong connection for somebody if it does not something there? Why I want to say, we're talking about this. This is what to say. This is a break while we started dating. It was definitely a mutual like I feel like he needs to this place. Like he's a person that likes started that I just wanted to. When I first started you're right like I was a, I told my ages, I'm not ready for relationship about looking I'm in the middle of trying to move- and I think that's what like for guys like. Okay, definitely this, this is actually fine

as a leading us to a place where I wasn't even ready for that I started getting ready and part of that was becoming this person that was firstly, a valuable for here. Yes, I know this is naturally flowing this, allowing that we didn't unusually, talks are now you opened this bags and then and then carry on this is too much you fucker opened the box. I was in China. Use about issuing start. That's that's supervising vary! So, that's why I'm here s my more upset more than anything, because I am, I lived my life in a very low I'm so indecisive. So I tell myself girl you have to make it like an asshole. My business I might I can't keep going back and forth, is going to stop me from making money. that's where every day I do- and I do with friends, if ever I ever axiom of collaboration- and they say some light up- that's what yeah right time to collaborate come around

You ready, he asked to consent. If you ask somebody to the podcast, I'm like you know a bit yeah, it's not like, they have the right time back later yeah and that's how I normally operate day to day and that's the mentality that I should have taken with this relationship. Yeah and the thing is, I know this. I know this, but it also makes great content so yeah the all the time all the time and it sucks, because you think that you grown I like I'm, like you know what, in my twenties that police do pay, I'm a grown ass woman. That must be thirty. Two I'm like am I so stupid, I was like I get it. Yeah yeah this voice in your hikers. You mentioned like on thirty. Two, not I feel like a specially were of that was your doubts are not fighting. That's the bottle.

The camera thing I think you are a a women especially have this voice in their head. That's like oh I'm, this age. Now I thought I would be married now or be engaged now like do you have that voice in your head? That's like that that you thought there would be like a little more fatality by now on your romantic life, not really for the marriage or engage, but definitely at least some kind of successful relationship. You've ever had or have successful, they've all been traumatized, and I'm just like damn so like I am I like, maybe I'm asking for too much, but I'm asking for it to actually be my husband well, maybe it I ask for enough in that the way, were treated has to be from the from the gecko a certain way. Yet I may I feel I feel, like men started

shot in the back. You know and then they go like then, a sudden, this bullshit you're gonna blow their load early, yeah, yeah, so many ways, but I do feel like they say at thirty. Five is a Jerry Arctic pregnancy. Yet on the rocks. Yes, I'm like I've deftly three years away from that met them adequately. I would like to know somebody for two years before I let them impregnate yeah. So the math is not adding up geriatric yes, but is it common? Yes, I know I know it's coming and I'm I'm also like I'm not like a regular bitch like none of us are like. We all had a comedy careers. We're all trying to get our Netflix specials on tv shows are highly whatever we're working on and that does not court that timeline for that doesn't correlate with. Like

Traditional religion is a reason, a lot of female comedians. Don't have kids right and I think about that time. I'm like okay! Well am I am I going gonna stage pregnant, that's going to be weird, like I don't think with my business like that there are so many memos yeah. I think Ali Wong did a great job she was in. But yes, I think it's good whereby I don't know if my forested choice I wanna be pregnant. Yes and I at least want to get there cause for me. I dunno about you, but like the moment, I fall in love all my goals. I don't go out the window. I used to be like that and I'm like. I can't do that anymore. That's why I took a break from dating for two years. I can't I gotta I gotta recalibrate. My boyfriend was in Jamaica all week and I was like this is great yeah. So much John.

yeah and I feel like there were moments when I felt like you know, I'm so happy that you know he is on vacation, because now I get to have this MI moment, but that's like the girl, that's the girlfriend conundrum right, but I was doing others girlfriend show he wasn't. Even yeah. I guess it right into the governance. That is another thing I think we are like yeah. We do not agree of doing girlfriend ship before you have the girlfriend title very because, while can't you see reason for giving you the idle yeah, they didn't you go right on the Asian all right away. We away for no real. It's a fine line of like guy with the flow and like also going with the flow, is something that would like us use, silent movies issue too soon, not step into the fact to not own the fact that we want a relation jump right. I've never met a woman who goes with the flow and so any time, if someone says I'm going with the flow, I go no you're lying your eye. Your last south is undue. I wish I'd the confident, because I want a fuckin relationship, no yeah. I think I'm happy that I met another place.

But I think it's all tend to say I want a relationship, it shouldn't be embarrassed, rang not needy. That's what that's! What that's why I traced my roots back to why I feel that way. We can you identify. I a reason why we're not logged or nourished by by somebody as a kid or something something like for me. I I traced it back and it's right there, I'm chasing the exactly the love that I thought I because, as the only love I know you have made here about you, I have a little to England, yeah. Usually that means yet you know, but I'm sorry, it's like I got that I was over there you have to face it had on. You have to go through the desert. I went out ass. The other thing I ready I've learned through so many Healy Phaser. They start all lay not signing it. Let us our journalists and Agatha, making a road sea and internal Endeavour and Mary. I never end I'm does on the outside. I was going to cause night as molten your parmesan. If I may, to all journals, folks,

and I'm like, okay. Well, I'm over this phase in my life, I'm gonna burn them cause. I don't want nobody to find these shirts vacuums, my daughter in the future, but it's so sad and there I'm going to burn them. So sad now I gotta start a new journal yeah, but it's like a book, but I mean I think, like we think of like Mental Healthcare and like healing as like. Oh we do it and then it's done, but it's like you don't shower on Sunday and then not take a shower. Never again, it's the same. You have to like do yourself all the time and it is a pain in the ass and it is super time consuming time and my my my best friend tells me that so she's, like you, know, she's a best friend as a bitch omelette omelette. You find that on your own she's, given Korea to find that I will be here when you find that I can tell you now, but if you want me to wait I'll do alright, but I was telling her about like when I was like. Oh you know I hate having to heal again cause it's not like. I'm not like doing work like I love myself, so much more than I did before in my twenties. I you like.

I was getting taken advantage of like I was getting late now that guy deftly have standards, but I just feel like ok, we'll how much and I'm gonna love myself I was like how much more like do. I have to live like that like goddamn and I would be like. Oh you, gotta love yourself or nobody is going to love you it's like, but that's not that's not always. True, like I feel like be in a relationship and work on both for each other. The same time, I feel like the fantasy of someone's going to come along and really love me. The way I deserve and teach me how to love myself as fell asleep. Okay, so be today, now in a way, I will give you if you did meet somebody who open your eyes to how to love yourself better. How like that is that a codependent start relationship

I guess so. I think someone can sassou interactive soften you taking got aunt, they can see pinned to the little crocs that you have. I feel without my relation waves are when you start slip, on your own values in little tiny ways. You know, and you like pack What can you get wait? Can you give me example like let's see, let's se and he he are always available and he's not like he always. Facts you to be available and you kind of do, drop everything. Until you're, very gently, sober sire, you're driving they allow you have liked you like on your side, ass by you and you cancel it or so clear and cancel it like that is bitch yourself ram fire, so you can't betray yourself once for it to go. Well, I'm I'm pretty sure yeah cause we're so concerned with men, cheating on us, and we constantly cheat on ourselves. Oh whoa,

it just made me realize the things I gotta regard that whole times the how's it going. You better put that one on the that's gonna real. Just like I got a raise like that. Madeleine's yeah, I tried, but you know what I'm gonna say has been with me when I win the guy that I liked making, with another woman multiple times and I've throw my against the side of the building, and I wrote it. Nor do we were very, very happy. We damn you know. Bottom, you ever be lay I'm having a bad. They let you know why I'm will be ok, I'll, be ok, he's not now

I dunno I'm kidding, but no I say that they about the friends like Koran is like I, I happy. I was just talking to a comic about how everybody comes to gravity, and it's like I I have been in places like I've, also been I was a bit like their energy mean yeah like yeah. It's like they're a little bit heavier like you know. Today, I'm coming away a little bit of gravity, but so like at some point you gotta let people figure out the I should like you have had moments where our ways I you know beds, I love you, but I'm Amoco focus are you gonna be fine. Like is lay people have to figure out? so I guess what I'm trying to save my point when you figure it out yourselves, even those king annoying, and I need to let him that sounds like I need. So I was trying to find a circle way to lab. To say, like I need to let him figure out himself like I can't be the person giving him his homework assignment, one hundred percent, you Know- and I and my friends also they're, going to be like they're all on the same play was a glory you're going to learn, yeah Europe is. Don't feed you the answer like there's, no

therapists, you sit down and you say a problem unlike nor no real, good therapist. Who just gives you the answer back. They ask you questions to help. You find the answer yourself and, like I'm, no eight sigh, I think one of the most important things I've learned like in adulthood is like when people come to you asking for advice. If, if feels to date. The untrained I initially- and I do this for many years- that all of course they want you I offer a solution they want. You offer help Casimir on the kind of person who immediately like you, roll up my sleeves and help my friend, but that's not really what they want. They just want an ear. Listen and then they're going to go off and ultimately, If someone really needs help, they will specifically ask for help and, like so the lesson I had to learn and I'm so, like you know, reminding myself daily is like just fuckin stepped back. You know this punk s. Environment is different because people are literally saying give me,

vice rang in all the others. Lay man don't say not about what we are, what we are dumb bitch like AIDS, it's it's, it happens in hand No one is immune to it and it's how we handle it like so, but it's but you have like setting. standards off the gecko of like you need to be very clear that there is one say but this is where I live. I've done a lot of work in tracing the roots back. It's been very helpful because of me, I'm like it's fuckin makes me not trust myself. Oh my god. the fuck. Can I logically know something- and I don't behave that way- it's so fucking unfair, I'm having the same issue, but we gotta. We got the same shit what's happening. Is it's not in it? So I? What I realized is a pretty recent, have position. I let things slide without even asking myself. If I'm ok with you night is more a matter of legal and I dont, even about? Well, oh, oh, oh! Oh, it's! Ok with you Adam Amin automatically, always down, I'm always

you got some last minute plans you wanna go to ITALY last minute, I'm in our that percentage willing with I mean it knows, happened to me like the exact things happen to me and I go and then you go and then they take it back in your like fucking. Do that to me? with me the toxic thing, though the lumber anything. That was why for me, I realize I never spoke up when I had a problem with anything member, because I dont even consults myself knows that ISA salting yourself and you go because because the situation with the guy, as he's not ready yet you're thinking about yet this is him centric trick I can because, like damn, I like so self involved that I'm not listening to him when he saw and no I've already bath of Amazon or where I was like our guy

maybe like I'm the person, that's wrong. No, no! No! No thinking about you, but I think you're onto something in a in in a little way because he didn't, he clearly said he's not ready and imagine if a man, if we said to a man, we're not ready and they kept washing. Maybe like that's abusive baby, I found page a fuckin. You know me smeared him tat. We have it's hard to remember, because I think there are some schools of feminism that set different, for women, and I don't agree with those laying you now if it still no it's annoying men have gotten such a it's start on us. I still feel like we need to be following the same roles of like respect and boundaries, know for sure, like I, I will say, ought like we very big on like boundaries all that shit. Whatever I does with this. One is really hard with the like, when you think some of your soul, mate thing, that's

worse yet, but I started when I started and I'm like telling my therapists, I'm a you know, or maybe, as I'm sorry, I'm sorry to sound delusional and cause a soulmate. A soulmate wants you as much as you want. am, I know, but then I'll be tight if he comes back later, it's like, oh now, you want me and I think about that when you find somebody else, then let's talk about and let's say you come back in a year or two I won't be on comedy so I'll, be on Netflix I'll, be bitten that you know, Well, my army Dating Drake, you know like so maybe this isn't working out because your meant to be withdrawn or now carry out of my mother may either or somebody else that's more compatible. You know why I think this is a sign from you to close a chapter, like. I wish. Don't you some parties like? Can you just move

move to another state? about that, like I don't like it's only like this is as far as I would like the guy had never liked show up like I don't do. None of those other say it like you not when it is wrong to show up no well, for you know I've just a better woman than I am just a pair of, as that is a paragraph girl and that's as far as the eye sees and then that's it and he always answers your paragraphs yeah. He does. He reads all of them and he calls me back interesting, but he's tired. there's one here that you know what I've answer this this question: five different ways after worn so and afraid that the whole anyways.

Well, I mean what do you do talk about it more. You know that you're dragging me. I guess that is something I find myself doing know that sounded nasty, but I truly meant like what are you going to do like explain that you're not going to explain to him anymore at a certain point, even though he's going to start talk- and I think this is who said it- that it's the guy that you are the canadian guy- that we let them know the who we get them on our podcast, the young canadian guy he'd been through the card deck. What the fuck is, this mark rose, so groves are able of, and I think I think what he said he was is like you're. Never gonna get the closure lino that you want you're, never gonna get that perfect moment of closure. but we are to be another per se, but a certain point you just have to in a moment. I dropped the MIKE step away and get the remaining closure with yourself, and I but we are interested because, like there is, you know, there's lots of relationships,

In my past, I still feel like doesn't have don't don't have closure, but it's like I've gotten every from that thing from that person that they're going to give me- and I have to realise I'm not going to get any more and to consistently reach out is pushing. Im away even more, I mean I don't think any of these people are coming back because they're not, but I will say I don't want anybody from my passbook yeah, not bad at all yeah, but at one point I was I was crying over all of them, but I'm like now look yeah yeah, it's clearly what the ad on and back. I was then share. I was yeah. I was depressed. I was missing class yeah yeah and I'm like I don't. I cannot imagine my life with any of them. Yeah, let's get older cause. I love having that confidence of like wait. What now? No one? That is just no or life in a different perspective. Also, though, it's mean very, this podcast is based on someone that I was like rocking a rock bottom. I didn't date anyone for years because of this person I mean reason, I really stepped away from relationships was because it scared me how

watch this person. Dumping me drawing me- and I was there- I am instead are. If this has not happened again, that's what I'm saying is going again but on the same guy, don't let me and I know that I have my brands, As for crying on his back yeah somebody cry don't get before we cry all the time, Gus cry. We all like a big crier. I cry several times on the show man yeah almost car before I went on stays of the day, yeah the moon. I used to cry out what I was going to the brink of. That was the impetus for the show I would be crying at the bar before I went on stage all but when I became like such about our commedia from from now pain, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, maybe you're right from the ashes, but I you I mentioned last night to me and I'm talking about soulmates and you brought up something a couple minutes ago where you're talking.

So much about like so maids, but then you you're saying I want to be with someone for two years before I have a baby, and so I was and thinking last night and propose, but for preparation for this pod task and I think PETE, there's two different things up, will want and were kind of like joining them into one when I think they're really to supper things in their sole maids and then there's partners, and I and I feel like, dropping the the today yeah right time about that like cause I wanted to like I wanted see. I think it's surprising like based on my personality, like I do believe in soulmates you and I dont know a lot of people who do and even the people who are they kind of most obsessed with love. I feel I don't believe in something I believe by I give up

I believe I do. I don't know surly, occasionally enough and also know, but all vengefully believe in him again. I don't necessarily believe that there's only one, don't necessarily believe that the sole meat as a human for everyone, I think it can be like I think, for some people- especially being an artist like theirs, unlike especially men. I know that I really seedlings music is there so may I think their ban deserve soulmate. I think a friend him you, I think you can be your saw me and not in a stupid, like self love, annoying FED to you force, FED kind of wagons that I think for young people like that, like you really are your soul me so that link in a kind of disappoint. Especially for heterosexual women, because we've been fed. This notion that like for all were going on. A saw me and it is a human may on you yeah. I guess it get for less easy and it is a human woman matter, but just like you know that that's what we ve been fed but then, when we ass, we get older. We kind of yearn for a partner more and not like what we need are, but I think

at times your soul might not be the person who's going to be the best partner for you, because it's like its there's too much you're going to the multinational like I'm supposed to like this, and you like what is. I commend this even what I want to subscribe to near Ivan subscribing to my whole fuckin life, though I'm fucking believe this. I want to be one of those fake relations. I don't think it's a fig relationship. I think, like a range, marriage is a lot of times. Those people are our dear. Your family is picking someone who will be the best partner for you and that's why they last so long, because it's not like this lit flame that will burn out it's not starting so hot it something that will go on. So it's it's not that one is better than the other. You just have to ask yourself: what do you want out of life and for me I do want to see me. I want that passion, even if it fizzles, even if I had a passion for leaves yeah. But how do I not looking to start a family, so it doesn't mean I don't need a partner in the same way, but I do think like some people will their life will be easier and more full of joy if they have apart.

Who just makes their days yet let your heart and raises a family and with them- and I think very few people have someone who is their soulmate, we're trying to turn them into partners. I dont think they're necessarily equipped to be now. Why was the point? I think a lot of higher tremendous nubbly? Well, but what's the point for what like finding someone the point of having a three month flame, to feel Two fields are experienced. I reiterate it was what I you three months, soulmate fling, that's weird got a taste of it, Why would I do without you? Remember it always let out a member that I mean that why you climb a mountain org, you know gone through the Ba, like life, is about experiences and feeling all the columbian ends and and and growing as a person and learn.

From these things, I'm looking back and be like. Oh man, that was crazy, like what, if we're just meant to like fall in love over and over again until we die, I don't got the strength for that. strength, other patients, maybe I do need a partner. Maybe it aren't sounds nice. It just do. It just depends cause like for me when I was a port. I dont like a party or person like my Let us, therefore definitely young leg is pushing you for that, and unlike every time, I think in a partner I'm like I just seen an assistant under zone. I go. I just need an assistant that is so fucking funny. You know, but eh it's it's tough cause. I do feel like You, like one of my past partners, was a soulmate and when I really think about, why did I end It's because he wasn't a good partner and why it was so devastating, it's devastating to find your soulmate, who isn't a good,

partner, men longer herds and ready to say it now it's warm her and they don't see and then yes or no and then move on a blow and they find someone who is a better partner and you go all why they don't have that seem thing that we have to take a fiery Dante. I do I work with data, but rather the fire was a year ago. Partner didn't fuckin show up for me. They believe that they are now There are so many more others. Lots of other boyfriends I've had who were much but our partners, but he doesn't do anything for me like I will I'd rather just do extra work and not have you here. Well, yeah. You know, even in that space with the it'd be like. I want you out of this space. I call my life is constantly like just be like like getting to a point, fair in and his second, I need someone out of my space like I was like. I don't care if you spilled things all over the floor. She's a Libra! Please leave me your labor day. Why Libra as it was, it was your moon sign, I think,

besides. It's areas known, and I think I thought we areas is something of hiring, I can't remember we look it up my I'm my rising as Pisces. All other rising. We was the rising as the money lumpy pussy you in the world's like, without knowing you at all, we or is it. So there is a rise in his pipe visit. You have applied Yahoo rising, we evolve like you and then might you and then my moon is areas liars got laddie. I bet I mean that, as is on his Libra yeah, that's really the charter wasting your manner year round. The area your rising. This pacing online, yes, says he's like understanding, budget and then put up with the bushes, where I thus evolved right right, I'm not only my five hundredth lifetime thou so a somewhat that feels they. What does I means I hired and now because, like I've got loose so many lives on earth,

you're fairly. I like I just every feels ancient and it just feels like you're you're, like I've seen this movie a thousand times. I will laugh my brains out if I watch the film one more time, I'm dead and I'm like, but that was maybe it. I know amazed by everything. Truly, I moved to tears pretty much every day, then here, why, like an old soul for sure, but I still haven't learned in the roadmap. apartment! I don't think I'm a romantic! I love love, when I'm just not dating. I do so saw a beautiful, powerful woman when I'm not dating yeah. I like, I think, I'm going to have to just explore that again, and I was before. Am I doing something wrong? Oh wait! Sorry

When I was what my colleagues have rightly starting to remove you from a thought of you, gotta go no when I first went right, but I remember right before I may have a you know why I'm so ready to do this one year by myself. I don't want to feel no pain. Nothing boom. Maybe that was a testament universe. Labours bitch. I believe always I don't want people yeah, like people are put in front of you for lessons you gotta learn. Those are very jealous person. Somebody who York shrilly envious of a really our time with is going to be put into your life, because that tell you overcome the envy It's over. You come the issue and that that person is actually divine intervention. The naive enemy there, your bridge. These are better. You was a lesson here. Could I bet I welcome affording yourself first no exceptions, you you, you gotta, think of this. If you are own publicists. You would not accept this treatment,

it even in the thing, is going in the wrong nothing's and ass. All nothing anything you just go. Oh here he showed you. We was working. We are not even Rebecca nodded. Niven Court, not even a but he I thought about it. In the shower- and I feel bad and all maybe I did it- no, no! No! No, then let me know because I'm exhausted yes, I myself three months, I think in three months you will edit and it's. So I don't talk to him Rights are best choice. Anyways I gotta percent extremism correct. He doesn't need to be checked. don't we have managed to grow up? These are real ass, bad. Just trying to restore your giving him. Then I think that both him, I thought you was all gotta hearing me. Yeah, he's out the enemy you're, not the lost love! Yes Neither of those things he is a man, injured your life and wasn't ready to step

the way you were so, you separate already more than I told him an end and that that if he is right he was really going through a hard time that he can reach out. You he'd already knows that times a hundred so as not to back him at all I don't, do lunch, What can I ask? What's the point of the line? I just want to see him one more time. When is it going to be the last time that he's always going to be one? This is the last time. The last time you saw him in person. I haven't seen him in like a month and a half I haven't so you're going strong. Yeah! I haven't see him at all. We only talked on the phone, so do not do not think having a lunch with him was just going to reignite here's what you're missing. I think I think to tell me if this resonates with you so okay, he here, Not he is not ready for relationship, then he does not get you in any capacity

no, but it's not mean avail about. This is what I'm done inside of the union's ass. It goes circuit is an asshole none about, but stop giving if no grown man wants to be your friend right, that's what we say and apply without them get out on the teacher there's! No. We should so you give of yourself like that, because that that case, closed I know, but what I'm telling is I've never see him again, so that was the go to lunch, know what I'm saying after this, like I'm hunting and I am cutting him off. This is the first time you've actually said. I'm never going to see him again or has it happened once before? Am just I'm also tired, I am tired of being in this, but sometimes it's helpful when you get tired of your old and I can't even afford, like I'm literally like booked for the like all month. It's like, I can't be crying all the time. It's like I have to re busy, so I'm trying to big Shea, where my career there, like you know, I'm just,

I can betting on yourself is always monitoring. We put great place to put your energy right and I got of math ass. I came to think how shall I go to the gym now like unto thyself, like I gotta work on my so yeah yeah. I just can't led this internet culture, so yeah yeah, and I and I'm going to do it. I just wanted to make sure one last time that you, this is what you wanted, because I promise you you're going to come back and I'm not be going to be at the lunch sounds good. yeah! No! No! No! No! I'm not! I'm just sending this to you. Yeah you're, prepping, yeah, yeah yeah cause, I'm like I used to Only I mean like it. So it's like is just like a dramatic good by the left. no, it's not. It seems like torturing yourself a little bit. I just haven't seen him and I I just he was my friend. He looks the same. No, he doesn't

that's a tell. You then works better. Let me that's gonna, be more pain. Yet asking is one thing that bothers me about breakups. Is they want to go in and go? Here's what you, MRS Sea, and not even the ambit of academic, does look like there's a mobile number relics they buy. Right, but but the thing about breakups are so kind of like a mind. Fuck to me is like you say that you care about people, and then you just leave them. I know that the ILO, while you just got them for everything it is the closest you will ever be with another human being, is in a romantic and romantic relationship, a fuck by whatever pocketed whenever it is, that is the closest you'll ever be, and then is just nothing that Weird urge is what and there's so many songs and movies about it, because it's the most torturous saying that no one really understands no matter how smart or brilliant or talented you are well. That shit is weird to me. I don't want to climb.

no another, then we go for the cameras. I mean we're losing I'd, never cry run of any binding. When I like em, like a tag, you'll be light. Look at this is why we have Goliath we're getting laid a cry from the crime of cutting a radio, show sound that we play from aboard like anytime, so that that got a mess binding water, but we have got a male yeah well, but we lower level were closing either there's a few first skies, so my whole experience. Oh yeah, yours, I'm positive of the need for the past year. I let them know how highlight rang out, highlight yeah that somewhere, Although I was one of the questions, whether other very yours, I live as volunteered, ok go ahead like what's those most sexually venturist thing you ever done,

yeah? I don't really I'm kind of when I think about my whole face I'm like I'm, not I'm kind of boring a little bit like the wildest place, you've ever sucked a dick. Oh my god. Let me think about it. I first of all I just said a second that gets twenty eight so such a note for real, bury the lead them and they say, like I've. Gotta have had a whole phase by adding that starts at big until late. Why would you think about how you can I worry that you get away with my friend was selling me like she was sitting behind us. They're gonna get you to be a deep rolling. yeah yeah yeah, that's what I like with legal addict before that, but it wasn't a brush Langley gang and give in to their revenge. Socket ray is a different nuts, I'm saying so. I don't have any Dixon them about. When it comes and I would say those are more intimate relations, but I guess the craziest place. I've sucked a dick the craziest place you got fingered. This is crazy. When,

the glare of low. When I was in case, they were grave bow, a hundred as a train station on aliens Extry was each of our trade city. Kitty lie. Why would I lie? Is gonna crazy to think about that, but the yeah like Gazprom, lady known I ate it out like gang, I fingered all possibly did you get fingered on public transportation? No, ok, wider Rockets movie theater is only sees elevator law, Emily dirty yeah. I why dirtier then, and now I think it's an equal amount of dirty as eighty six it was. We didn't have anywhere else to go kind of boy yeah. No, that's what I'm saying when you're young you don't have the place, I'm pretty sure vans yeah. That bench is still probably there like bumps. I probably sat on my bench for business yeah, a fun fact cause. I also thought about the pockets before I got here. I lost my generally on a north face jacket yet, like

on the bathroom floor, he put a north face cause. It was cold on the bathroom. What a Cinderella story that was, like that's a fun fact, he's gotta steal my metrocard. I I told you to some say: okay, yeah, on the bathroom floor, so it was cold. It was terminator noise yeah, I didn't even wanna lose my virginity by everybody without zipper yeah. Was losing their virginity of like nobody has a mandate to just like a here. How old rail? I was young. Now things well number than twelve on a novice other than that this gives a loss of tea in the outlying, all sorts infecting yeah. It is can a young, and unless you have what you know teens unit, which rarely I know about the now we're getting to like the other. More better stuff. Do you ever have relationship advice, but hopefully it does help some

out. There is always out that, as I have a lot in its back on its a universal experience, Ray and that's all unites all of us, we re also being being faced with your own worth and where you got, what do you do about? I deserve better now we all do and we all are guilty of of of sacrificing herself Ryan like her and said Jude in on ourselves, and I don't think you know what I did. Everything goes projecting added thing I was up. You know we never latticed. All! You are no doubt aware of one. I know that I don't think I was. I didn't think I was doing them. Maybe that's what I was doing and then they have become. We're burying, because I'm like do this. Do this. Do this and I'm trying to cause. I know you can yeah and then be like. Oh you're, mad fucking annoying it's like, but I love you what the fuck. So I think that's apa and I used to other friendships too cause. I have everyone all over the place where you were talking about how some people want to hear you they want to be listened to. So that be like, I know this is that you had a job. Let's work on your Let's get you a job you want and just they just want to go

the way and I don't do well with does going through I'm like there's a solution for everything. So that's I'm so annoying one. My exes call me a rhinoceros cause, I'm just so likes. he organized. I get it I'm annoy, and maybe I need to find someone to helpful to them and so helpful to help like I I will and I've had so many people say men don't want to fuck their mom and I'm, like you sure and they're, like yep and Alright, so maybe I'm just too helpful never be a helpful bit again. Now it's not that you could still be a loving partner, but they gotta earn it. While the latter Harvey was the hours I, where I saw TAT muslim rigidity, what else, but then I was a right. Those of you, I'll call you later this month of alcohol level down here, but as I swam Beche De Mer, Europe waited with a while ago. Sizing seem, I was mad at my guy at the time,

I'm going to Fucking Morocco with that Ranger. I had full blown relationships because I wanted to get back at somebody. I'm like oh fuck, your bandmate for two years, and how did that work out great? It was Boyfriend Grandmama gave her boyfriend's, ok then it was that if I am now by yet another fine ladys avenues appear you alone, you know it's it's something I guess I did all this time, air in its in its always perplexing to me like TAT, time again. We I see like strong. and women like job checks row sacrifice themselves again. I am saying she's my idle rattled Bianca to all that level. Yeah yeah yeah weight, but so one questions that I'd love, hammers right does nevertheless that now cause but yeah I mean: if it'll help you not talk to him, I just always waiting for a I, the the

looking is usually in the circumstance helpful for you, like my blog people, it's it's ninety nine percent of time it really! Oh, yes, so little to no more than you and you have to announce it just bottom: it's not cause. He saw a talk as if it's not a fuck, you at all it's just a hey. I know that I need you know, I'm the! It is with my willpower right now yeah. I need not have your number, my phone accessible yeah. What about all those As I said I just let them live in our says bubble, and I we how he remembers me nobody what what? What is there to do? There's a candid Andy I was gonna, ask them to delete the best snack. Why than I do just not on yet on, and you just move on you just move on to elite lead them? I mean it doesn't seem like he's like going to use them against you or allow yourself to slip in these. What ifs and get sucked into a hole of thinking about him. Don't look at his social media, that's asking for

Oh yeah, don't will you find your it when you notice yourself thinking about an fantasizing or what it? However, however, he comes to you in your head and you're in when you're daydreaming, you coach, self new. Oh, no, no and then think about you on the way carpet at your Netflix Special a eleven ivy crime, that there is a cry and you know it s. One thing I will say I want to. I wanted to say this people you know, as the saddest thing is, when you get something you dreamed about your sad that day they should have Yes, I know exactly in going to cure everything right, but by you putting yourself first will I've got in so many accolades that shit that I went for a start I stand up like I wish I would have been at this clobbered doin shit on those over here like that. They will take in this moment him before them. I'm I'm doing what I want, but I said I wanted to do yeah crying that's so, but you gotta talk to yourself. I'm gonna go! I'm you gotta

yeah you're you're a good. I think I think you got it. You're gonna be good I'll airy. I let everything out here, you're good at isn't as partners a year from now, but I will look at the girl ass a little at times up. So where can we find you on line, I my honest around guerrillas motor on that spell g o o r e o. I as a more It's about the domain, legendary comedian, I'm updating the me so, whenever necessary, community dot com just find everything. So in like a month, that's a that's amazing right. I was going to buy the I was going to buy a bunch of shit just to be like I'm, a troll like activity, troll, not depressed. That's grandma yeah, like I'm gonna, spend the next month working on my website, so you'll see the growth in real time. Yeah yeah, maybe I'll, make a shirt to like believe in yourself, yeah I'll check back in oh yeah. Well, thanks for having me, of course, and for listening pleasure. Thank you

shaming park. Ass. Will talk to you next Friday?

guys, we fucked is presented by luminary, created and hosted by Corinne Fisher and Kristina Hutchinson, editing and music coordination by MIKE Casca Rally theme song by Rob Patterson and Jake Cozen suck my wet ass pussy casino certificate that before, but now it's in area, let's keep it hookers name the things their dogs at the hour and the day so that you won't mindlessly see the new you believe in me. Hind seems worse than a lie here with me, a I'm not that greedy. The way when you think of me you reach out and show me, I just want that pussy, I just wanna, send you a pig, my ass about love, watching various passages. Gaza said I need to get on my chest about what to do, but if you don't have time for me right now, call me later with the I know, you've been seeing other girls I'd be lying. If I said that dating are the kind of legs here, you will tell me the story and just give me the details. I want to know about the sweat dripping down your balls or want to hear what you like. I want to know it all signal my ear with your tongue. Don't you dare fucking, stop at a salad, the up to a tree drip wax Daniel, barely adjust monetary policy. I just send you a pic of my ass about this.