« ID10T with Chris Hardwick

Jaimie Alexander Returns

2018-11-30

Jaimie Alexander returns to the podcast! She and Chris talk about getting hurt while filming, working to control anxiety and getting stuck in bathrooms. They also talk about her character on Blindspot, what tattoo Chris should get and what Jaimie wants her next role to be!

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome to the identified as number nine seventy to stand for some Sweet Court board action. If you would like to get around this week or port action and send me mail to events at Idee, ten t, dot, com events at Idee, ten t come and hopefully I'll, be able to announce the thing that you're making like the first one is very This is a friend of mine, Mr Chris Sullivan actor, comedy guy drama, also known as taser face that is our little NBC drama called. This is us which is actually the hugest NBC drawn, which is actually the just show on television rights but a supersede guy and coming up we're gonna he's gonna, be on it. It s very soon. You will not regret listening to what I promise, but she wouldn't let you know that you're, a friend of mine, Chris Sullivan is doing alive, recording of the new podcast to write, love on her arms on some, December, sixteenth at the bootleg theatre, in LOS Angeles doors or its. P M, shows that eight tickets are fifteen to eighteen dollars and
to write love on her arm is a non profit movement dedicated to presenting hope in finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction self. Ray and suicide. There too love in her arms exists to encourage and inform, inspire and also to investors. Going into treatment in recovery. Chris is gonna, be interviewed by foundered. Jamie torque, husky progresses for anyone who is struggling. Anyone who feel like they can't talk about the difficult part of being human and anyone who starts work start the conversation about mental Health, which is so so so so so important. I live in her arms. The bootleg theatre, Sunday December sixteenth doors at seven p M, showed a ticket sort of fifteen down. You can find a link for tickets in the event section, at tea, W. Oh, oh h, a dot com to write, loving her arms dot com and will see Chris but will secrets with our ears and our imaginations on the podcast very soon also TIM rights. Like many of you, I made a thing and launch the card game called rock paper monster
there's been a passion project in mind for last four years, I'm thrilled to share with the world. As of this summer, I finally had a printer version available for purchase the games when after the world being enjoy by gamers of all ages. If you ll, keep monsters quick, too quick to play games. Rugby procedures is the game for you. You can see the fun for yourself at rock paper, monstrous dot com, also for every five copies of the game that are ordered between now and Christmas. I will do it one copy of the game to the sea s. My children's hospital in an hour, Michigan to give to the brave kids that are receiving treatment there so embrace your inner monsters check out rock paper monstrous dot com to get yours today and finally, Kelly rights. My is it I just that I love my friends fabulous book. His name is barred Scott. His book is cats of the castle book, one already loved quest for the key and its fun story about magic in the famous cats to take care of Disneyland after hours. Now I quadruple we love it. Any Disney fan loves. It knows about the cats that Rome free it does
and at night you can find it on Amazon or as website ears steel, dot com where you can check out as other awesome books as well, so lotta, good stuff on the court board. Today, events and I d ten t dot com, this epoch, food is Jamie Alexander, who is a dear friend of mine, one of my favorite people and inspiring we cool human being, who, of course, you may know. Obviously she was The third series is lady, sip she's, on blind spot as Jane DOE and she's just Shi Ite she's, one of my favorite people, and I was in New York couple weeks back, and so we did this. Gas there. So I strongly recommend that you support anything that she's in and anything that she does I just. I just think she's she's the coolest. So here is the identified cast number nine. Seventy two with
fabulous and wonderful and Jamie Alexander. I can't even We get away all almost got trapped in the bathroom. That's ok, people do get trapped in batteries. That's why I'm here I could broken you. Well, you could have. It could This is when you need an action star in your life. Is that everyone? Everyone needs to have
a Alexander and their life. You know my my wife is actually pretty. Actually she was training with machetes for awhile and wait. You told me that that's amazing yeah yeah she was, but then she and she's recur now cause she got hurt a nurse stunt on her show. Oh now, you got punched square in the face in a fight, seen a break. It broker no sane and broke fractured her skull and gave her a concussion white yeah. Yeah monsieur: ok, she's, ok, she's, better, like she's better, but she mess you out there rattle her for I like she was she's. Just six weeks later, just starting to feel normal again, but it was sir I've had a concussion animas break, not at the same time likely that in the same year in it it takes a few months like you're. So little off, like she brides motorcycles are any him just don't. I would recommend not during nationals. Reflexes are slower camera
lest her heart. I know I know and so on I know it was. She was and the girl who punched her in the scene is one of the most physically like one of the last people you'd ever one accident we re launched by, but they were in a faint seen. It was her last day of shooting and I and there was a crash pad down and her character has a mask on half her face away, her eyes is covered, so she said in a stunt. Grew like hey, just moved the crash pad, because I can't see it, but I know although the ground is so. Am I to seize it for me to follow that wake us I'm following a my my black, my brains by Indonesia, in the middle, the fight seen they they did it three times flawlessly and on the fourth time I guess they forgot to pull the crash pats on the middle, the fight offerings off stage, one of the study,
dude goes. Oh shit, the mat and she liked it caught it just pulled her out of the scene for a SEC and then just ban and the girl just hit around the face and the mass caught most of the shock and she work for five more hours after that, but basically flew home like holding her nose in place because it hurts over man that is off. I can imagine why did they made me stay? I was allowed to fly right after private. Days, but I d forgotten a bell rang those I can have such sympathy but you're fired. Those, so you might like a pie. Do you have the same thing that he's dead? he has which is like well, it sucks, but it also kind of age of honour that I got injured interest in it in a stunt because, that's kind of like you know, actors rights only when you're performer like your life, is on the line right all that often so it's sort of, I think it allowed the kind of made her feel it. She got to mix shit up a little dry right now. I think,
When I think on my my show it's like, if I don't get injured, something's wrong, just that way too much power, she's, not human! Nobody idly going. Broke my nose. It was of a was a super freak accident because the girl was really far from man. I don't know how this happened. And I was a swords linked away from her is we're doing a sword fight and it just she's cracked, my nose and I bled nerves. I went to the hospital an evening gown because I was undercover on, my show and then came back to work after I have had the city's gangs. I've had a concussion, to get one every time, Abbe Head Injury and went back to work into this. The sword fight, but I dont take had a pain, meds or anything. So when they gave me the agile and Tylenol they said your face is gonna swell can block your air passage? You know you should you should take this hour on it, but Atomic go back to work. I had no favours expression, I was doing the sword. Fight like it was the easiest thing. I mean it so bad the way the fighting is kept together, like part of it, I'm emotional, really and turn the other part. I could care less and I
swinging a sword, I can't believe they. Let me come back and do that. I was like oh no you're, particularly resilient, like us, who I've I've seen I've seen more than one instagram of you like in a hospital bed really well for another thing and then and then and then like like a week later, you're on a plane somewhere in another country or of you know, going down to Texas or whatever? Yes, I know, I know it's crazy existence, but you said you, but you will raise you. You said you were kind of don't you worry, raise rumbling alot of brothers and there is like a like a rough and tumble like when you, when you're drawing up it, was kind of rough and tumble. Say you so you sort of ie. You use your built for what you do: in a way, I guess so I was. I was slowly shaped into who I am now, but aren't we all, but I definitely that definitely helped being raised with a bunch of boys and then trying to keep up with them and wanting to play all their sports.
That kind of thing and, of course, than my rustling background and all that seven disorders snowballed into what I do now got so wrestling is like you I didn't know you were you undressing team shared. So this is the point: a pin someone's shoulders down for a certain or what's the a basically I mean I was on the phone. Team that I resign. We we went two rounds of typical for the boys teams go three rounds, but I would pen everybody in the world from because of my way class. I was very tall from my weight, so I would always sprawling do the half, which means I would basically a kind of grub like I'm. Not why not without visually showing everybody, but I wish I were basically sprawl my legs out, so nobody can grab my legs. His arms were long enough, good, I'm so much taller, and then I would roll them onto their back and impress them down by having like basically my arm around their head in part of their arms
and then I want you know. Then we will go to account and then they would either tap out or go to the count. And then I would bend them or can anybody ever got out of my half ever, but but why did Russell a girl was as taulas. I was and it drew me for a loop I had to go to sounds I eventually tender, but it was very difficult as all my little moves, he's dead. She was big enough to Anne and tall enough to grab my ankles into doth. As others have said, I was a con man. I can't like wing it, you know I'd really dry and it was really hard. So when people see you surf some, so there's somebody brotherly yeah, that's a girl the pin make, but then I got tens. I also got my bike kicked a few times. There is a girl named Erika I ll. Never forget. She went to SAM Houston, high school and I believe that what was called and we were doing determined tournament up at my high school. She was cutting her hair off in the bathroom, with a razor blade, but you're wanted, because why? Wouldn't you
wanted to make wait, and I was thinking well there not a strict on our way classes as women. You know at that time. This was a long time ago, and so I thought, like I don't know she can't be that much over what weight is she is and what she wants to be, or, and lo and behold then into my weight class and she did just kind of rattle may seeing her in the bathroom do that choose. We had a very scary energy and I got the man she penned me so fast and that resists eyesight. It was the Manhattan aimed not only at so ok he's, like she's cut a razor blade, the bathroom and a high school bathroom chopping, her own hair off. I was like as a whole load of like nope and then voted just been for the show. To who knows. Maybe maybe that work divers like ok, pin me just go away. Please area so interesting, because its I mean Obviously there are things like you know is greener than the way ass, an assignment me. But what did you about the mental game of that? Because those are valuable lifeless? Yes, yes, I think you just have to know. You can't say
yourself out. When you worry about something you just have to sort it give it up to a higher power whenever that is for you and an idea do that. You know I let this person scare me without even knowing her without proper, introducing myself without even I just knew what her name was and what school shoes from, because it was on the roster, but you know I was unable to say: oh, this is another girl, just like me, whose doing this sport that's very hard and she's trying to do As you know, I didn't put it into context like that. Instead of just looked at the razor blade and her chopping, I allowed myself to get sucked out and perhaps as what she wanted. But she pending, so fast and an eye afterwards. I felt so weird becomes a tie. Even try did I we try to win, or did I was I just afraid of right used all my energy being afraid of something I maybe didn't need to be so afraid of, but don't you feel it? You learn, from your losses. Area winds of ours are losing what a valuable lesson that yes, even sucked in the moment. Yes said that way. When I go into meetings now, I just mean a picture.
Everybody as someone's child, who was young ones, who needed help go into the light We are all babies, ones, and so it just makes it makes. In my mind, it makes us all very equal, in all very human and an end. I dont let people in overpower me and in that sense anymore, by citing myself out, because they may not even be trying to do that. I'm doing it to Myself- let's be honest, mostly related, businesses. Have you a hundred percent? that is actually like executive that most of these people are not. You know, they're, not spending a lot of time at the Jim, I'm just saying you could take. It reminds me the story that you told when you did the aims you showed about when you we're additional for seven and a knife fell out of your bag. Oh yeah yeah. I guess so one and no falls out of someone's bang like that's you know, but my dear
I found a template. Some very valid was not just to deny my entire contents in my purse of all over the floor and to make matters worse. It was a supersize turbine server, Gee up, that's where rat, but then you just now that new scope guess which one goes where right exactly it only listen. Everything about me back into heavier too much lacks illegally delete. Those listening, Now, that's your twitter by everything about our all I really know how to I can't delete or backtracked from that some moving forwards. Perfect note. You know if you'd have usually after so that you spoken spike the microphone and you just walk out, that's right, but I think that you know that we build up. You know, especially those of us who have very active internal. My logs
we build up this version of the world that isn't necessarily the world right, shared red. Same reality that other people are experiencing or other people are building up their own stormy world. So, No, I think it is good to remember that. Sometimes it is you know it is an end to know that I think them. Dangerous thing about a person is their own mind. Yes, it can really hurt you and end it can give you false information, and I think lately I've been really looking into an reading books about being present and you know living in the moment- and I know that so cliche turned to most of you, but it's really helped him because the more present I am the more I experience everything as it is not as I'm creating it in my brain right, because that's when you get into second guessing yourself and other people in like say if, if a loved one husband responded to a text that you ve sent my friends,
my mother, my brother's somebody like that, you immediately can think O. Something must be wrong when, really. They might be getting the hair done. Are there with her daughter at the park and they don't have their funding a we. We always make up the worst scenario. I think that's just kind of how the human mind work so that we prepare ourselves broke bore the worst case scenario which rarely have which rarely happens exactly yeah yeah. It isn't overactive defensive, protective measure which sort of like yes brain. I appreciate what you're trying right do, but not helpful, not have not helpful or It's that, even in the case of like a friend or in your dating someone or if there's someone that you really respect that you reach out to one of them and they don't respond illegal because It raises a now. They rarely are doing their own.
Has nothing to do with you. They could be stuck in a bathroom. They could be stuck in about in the bathroom trying to on both the door right and if they had just responding to your text, you would have showed up and kicked the door there. I that is most likely to her. Yes, but I do think that we have to, and we have to deal programme ourselves from this kind of thing, and a lot of that is like living in the present is just getting out of your own head engineering and no beating, and world yeah yeah, it's actually so much more simple than we think. If you take every moment as it is, then you're not really worrying you haven't got there, I mean you, you dont know. If you're going to be a life tomorrow, we us now or later today or any of that stuff, so in its its wild and crazy, but it really does help to just and say present in one way too, I think do that is you can check in with yourself physically, you can rubber your hands together.
You can like put your hand on your knee in and massage kneecap, like anything that brings you into the current. Instead of letting your mind run rampant with things that are probably not true and that are very harmful diesel and other another way, something I do every once in a while. If I'm feeling that that way, as others look the room and just start making sure that I'm I'm out loud describing I see what you ok, so those two slats of water very dark, and that is this color and this is this not noticing discord and pulls you out of your own head and forces you to be in a moment? Did you have so nice? Did you read the subtle artifact, giving a fuck, no great book out, ok monarchy, but fun? Oh, I think I'm sayin I think I saw that about a week ago at this book store in New Jersey, but I'm not one thousand for censure That's what it sounds so familiar! It's not caught my eye,
way the title might suggest, like you were before governing it's not really about that right. There's an interesting part in it about fault, verses, responsibility. That fault is a fault, is a past tense thing and responsibilities are present tense thing like you could think can not be your fault, but still your responsibility and responsibility is what you can control in the present and how you react to things in what you or even something was your fault in the passage like we're going to do now in Iraq, a sun like whoever did that thing? Are you going to focus on how to turn it into something that you can use and how you
You know moving forward, or at least in the present moment. So it's maybe it's about that, you might you might enjoy. Would I would totally enjoy. I think another great thing I was tired wise to rather than react respond, which I thought was really interesting has even just those two words are so different. Yes, respond sounds like you took a moment. You took a breath and then this is your response. React seems very impulsive. Very quick! Not you know, I don't know why. I guess you could say not thought out. Button, meaning the thought, through the heart not turn the airlines will ya. Basically just like it's just pack, your brain working and yes, the response that immediate immediate system, the reaction as opposed to okay. This is the reaction. Havana, crafts intervening lake. Is this feeling when we're reacting, we're not saying is what I am about to say, or do going to get me closer to the thing that I want, which hopefully is to understand the situation right and not to just. You know like
someone with words or make someone feel bad or destroy. You know yeah, but it's just it's easy. It's easy to do that, and especially now, there's just so much to react to that. We really have to take we have to take breaks. Debt is sometimes you really should have to just sit in a fucking park. I agree that when I look at a tricky look at entry, absolutely what are you what what others, whether it has two things? Do you do when used when you start to feel like anxious? Sir? oh gosh, I'm actually I'm practicing all of that now, because I realized I have quite a bit of anxiety about quite a bit of things like quite a few things. I you know, I started making a list of things that I could do. That would help me work through anxiety rather than taking medicine or something like that to comment. You know all again like sit and try to be present, bring myself back into line,
my physical body. I find that to be the easiest way to calm down whether that's meditate or even washing my hands or washing dishes. I'm sure people have said this before, but it's kind of it relaxes me. It's just like a very easy thing, repetitive thing that you do with any time that I have dealt with the result, which has positive. They don't cleaned your house like you, should When I'm on airplanes, I used to be afraid of flying, I'm no fear flying any. I whose peppermint oil on the airplane occasionally Aubrey, that in it Me relax, but I I just have to sit with myself and, and I check him with myself and say: well, ok, my heart is, getting really fast. Why am I so nervous? What's whereas is coming from, and if you find the intention behind the action it really helps, because you know I have to say I'm. Ok, so nervous, because I'm meeting with so and so
and I ve never met them and I'm a huge fan of errors. And what, if I say something dumb, I don't have that very easy, pc thing, or rather will take it back like if I'm on an airplane in the past. I would I would get really nerve about every little noise on the plane every bump on the plane just about everything. I've always think of this is that I'm gonna die every time. I flew. I mean it's insane, but that's what my that's, what mine went so I had to think about it and I have to say you know I'd. I check him with myself and recall the last time I flew and sometimes it's easy, it's easier to recall, past experiences and say: oh, you know when just on the runway right before we took off. It was a lot bumpy or on the runway, and we were on the ground. The plane was fine. So if it's gonna be bumpy appear, you know that's part of flying. So how can I? How can I help myself? Well, listen some breathing, sometimes I've read that tapping helps all tat. My my index finger to my thumb than my middle finger to my thumb, marine fingered, to my
my thanks to my thumb and I'll do an eight count of tapping which helps but again, that's brain the presents back into the forenoon I take you away from your mind and then all the son you're the flights, fine yeah, well, I've, because you know when you things went just like your mind and body being, an extra could be linked. If you have stressful thoughts in your heart, beats fast it works the other way too. If, sometimes, if you can stop and just focus on slowing your heart rate down and actually alleviates the anxiety presently, Europe, Europe, your heart is not pumping adrenaline through your body. As you know, an incredible clip you so that that actually kind of is the other way in disorder. Help
so because I used it. I used to hate flying to now. It doesn't know it doesn't bother me at all, and I never thought that I would be able to I used to drink so much on planes when I still drag and when I quit drinking. I was like how my ever gonna fly again right. This was the thing right and then at a certain point I realize well I'm a comedian. If I can't figure out how to fly, I can't have a career, so I just every time it got a little bit better and a little bit better, but I did stopped to acknowledge always better this time doing this. This is making me stronger and then eventually it became like a very haven't. I was like God, I'm actually comfortable on planes right, but it does. I think I think our culture wants quick, like fix me immediately, wherever really grasp these. You know these things take a little bit o work. They do do I too used to drink quite heavily on about every occasion, but especially on aeroplanes, and I don't do that anymore.
That's something that I actually found, I'm better without drinking. When I'm on an airplane. I'm really not that nervous anymore and I used to think they I'll call you too, amplify everything shore of really amplify joy, but also over amplify anxiety. That sort of thing- and I think another good thing- is just to connect to people around you, you know. There's there is often on aeroplanes are usually a flight attendant, that's quite friendly, and if you start engaging in and asking them about how they're doing and things like that you start to become. You knew you start take the focus off yourself put it on someone else, for you know the betterment of everyone and a lot of times a guy just Buddhist Switzerland and and I had the sweetest lady name Heidi. Naturally, I can't believe I was named blonde beautiful height I was like ok. This is this is awesome that she was like. I've been planned for twenty eight years music. I love it and her joy of
being on that airplane, doing what she really loved and getting to go on adventures just made my experience so lovely yet, and that such a great point, though, because so much of anxiety and neurosis in everything it is in It is you're in it in your own head and if you, if you're able to step outside that and be in and be present with someone else, did you not bugs there's someone read it and that's that's how it should be anyway, but we have to constantly remind arson rang and since I have it the never ending process alive and I don't mind that is never any process. The way like well yeah you, you know you go to the job. Regularly. I do this, then also you should check in with your mental, regularly as a way because it just you know like an yeah, and you can't just be lazy with it, but it's worth it to do it. Yet yeah and I thinking site in and all those things they all come from fear of the unknown or lack of understanding. So if you can take that the next time. You feel anxious about something say: ok, do I fully understand what is going?
and where this anxiety is coming from and then also is it because I've never done Ex wires e before or is it because Last time I did it, this person reacted terribly in and that sort of thing once you kind of talk it out, you can ask go into a room by some just say it out loud and once it's out it really does feel somewhat better because, unlike up, I just works. I just worked through that. Ok, that that's right, and it really does alleviate a lot of a lot of the nervousness and anxiety that you might be feeling. I think it's nice to, and I think it's nice that you talk about it because you know there are people who probably see you and movies, namely when your shower everyone, the girl, bridle, got no prob hate, and so it just remind people that everyone's human error and that there's theirs ranks in kind of you know like owning your stuff and and working through it like everyone's GOTS everyone's got stuff, and that which is that it's kind of nice that we're not unique in that way.
Right, everyone, you know we're basically just a community of law We know erotic animals, and so it's just did a nice rumour, let go you everyone, Canada has certain that they go through and we just gotta get through it and that's humanity. And yes, yes, absolutely how's, Switzerland, always so nice itself. Careful there. I was visiting my boyfriend over there. He was shooting a film and I luckily had a strange. Two days off from my job, which I usually never get, but luckily I was, I am currently playing a villain and a good guy same time, playing to different character. So because of that, I was allowed these four days off that were attached to a weakened so's like this. Is thing. I went over there, eight my weight in chocolate and choose good and some out in any way those like score, but it was it was so beautiful. I mean the people there are so lovely in and just they look after their animals and livestock. All that stuff. It was just a really peaceful place to be an end.
So bundling. I had to leave because I wanted more time there, but it was really great about somebody. The combination of chocolate and cheese, Gatt Chocolate gets in your system and says hey we gotta get out of here right here. You says mellow that fat slowed, I'm going anywhere the balances of our journey. We Montero did you gotta Montraville. No. I went to I'm charm alone, which is like a very small town outside of like about an hour outside of burn. Ok, but I flew undeserved. So there was like about a two hour drive to get to term Alonzo yet to see in a bit of of, I guess bitter scenery but trouble and was beautiful oh man, but there's there are so many other places in Switzerland. I would love to go in. I definitely people were naming some of the more famous spots to go to another country.
Or to any of those. I need to go back in and relieved and really visit. You know the glaciers and all that stuff. How we put your, I would imagine your shooting schedules pretty into it's crazy, but it doesn't beyond. But let's just say like I would say just they make up application to your body set up almost a full time job right itself right, luckily, our show, I think they figure this out there, like you know, because it does get cold in New York there, like we're, going to make the show take place ever fall winter and part of spring, so I'm usually pretty covered up because we're outside its knowing or whatever so that work to my vantage because we don't have to put on as many tattoos as we did, the first reason, but yet takes it, takes a long time to put those on vote now. It takes maybe like fifteen minutes to put their hands in the neck tat time. That's basically all you seem like most of the time. Ok,
but when, when we do show more, it does take. Quite a bit longer but yeah we we average about like right now from meal average about fifteen or sixteen hours a day because of make up in here and then shooting, but we try not to push our crew pass. Licked, twelve or thirteen hours is dangerous in council, and when the Sunday in the future, when the shows done, I imagine you're, just gonna get the permanent tat. You know because it is such a special now. You know, I know a great. I know it rate tattoo artist named doktor will area is rising and further years, like one of these days, I'm gonna come in and get some I don't have any and I cannot decide what it is. Well, you could get mining.
But I fail or just like an ode to me as your own. That can be your first idea. I'm fine words that really easily to the wife told I'm just a big fan of blind spot, and this is what happened. This is this. That is what I was trying to figure out there, Sir there's a great there's, a great stoic saying, which is a more fatty which basically just means like two to love fate, in other words, lingering accepts the dislike. You appreciate, whatever happens, no matter what happens is not really a symbol for it. I'm I'm trying to I'm trying to come up with one, because I love the messaging, but want to write letters on my body, like all I have on my part. If I have got us while real diamonds and actually that well, I do have a giant scarab on my hip and
the only, and I guess nine text that I have, but it right next to it, I have a question. I have powerful servers at which all black out my tattoos or black. Well, I'm sorry mine as Jamie. Not as yet now run so yeah, but I do I'm a huge fan. Neck tat is, but you know that it's the one that I dont mind wearing on the shoulders. It suits me, but that's what they did was once I. I don T do the show I met with the artist and they sort of formed these tattoos in a way that would suit my physical appearance got really nicely so it was. It was quite nice ike of them too. Something like that because I have an ostrich neck. I have a very long neck, so they right we're gonna put a gigantic bird on your neck because you have a space. And I said all right. I was actually the regime there forever. Yes, in fact, we can put a few other things. I said Murder is war. One births good at one birds get. What was the Sierra beetle about? Well
I always liked the symbol of the scare, because they ve been around forever USA symbolise wisdom and end starting overruns, and things like that and I just a mine- has its wings out. So I thought that really nice. It's kind of my guess. My way of you know putting it annex on my body in a sense, but I've just always liked it and I go. I have a great had to artists out here in New York named Josh, Lord he's fantastic, not only is the great person, you know he loves dogs and ease and and Barnes sounds like we get along just just fine, just peachy, but back when I was tryin different tattoo application. They there is a plant called juniper believers from South America, I might be wrong on that, but it's basically a black henna, so we were like well. This might save us time and make appear so he the way I met him was he came. Tar set in freehand drew the the bird on my neck with this. Basically, what look
puff paint and and then you know you we let it sit for by came. Remember now, maybe like twenty minutes and then you wipe it. Often it's it's danger skin. So we did that for a while, but it was. It was Do you know I'd have to go to the tattoo shop on Sunday and end. There were just sometimes are there wasn't enough time to do that, but that's how we met and he's just he's. Just so gifted you so talented, and we both kind of came up with this scare by and I said you know I was thinking of something more abstract with the scarecrow, but he does such realistic portraits that I would like to know why? Don't you come up with the design and, let's like partner on this peace, and he gave it to me as a they present about ninety several years ago. So it's one of my favorite tattoos. I have just can't I just didn't you, you like one of my temporary tattoos, try it out. I have a word tat. It had been a temporary protection. Don't forget notably yeah it's, because I would. I would want it to
mean something. But then it just has to be something visually that I would want to look at every day and are also have done have their moment where I go. Oh my god. What are they just do? I just did something I can't on. Do you have to get around Thus the funny thing you could undue aid. If you choose blacking cause your pale like I am. I actually had a giant double sided. Pisces so my arm and were using left? It's like a very, very small, little blotch. That's left, because just needs to start, I keep getting remain. The whole thing was black. I know, but my ex girlfriend JANET as hurt that had just about the lack of just like just like a rings to black ray and around her arm that she got when she was like twenty twenty one, and then she went in to get the laser removal and they were like in surprise. Take like you know like six. Means well year like several years, and you know it takes a while twenty five treatments later and- and I would go in with her and janet- was what if JANET was in pain,
laugh really hard, then United ICE Cream, Jacques Chirac, and should be like. And I will go. There was really heard excruciating and so watching that I was like you know. I don't know if I ever one cause you it's the part of the shock. It is equally upset, it's very painful any can smell your flash mornings and everyone is like a laser tat. You remove way slick shut up dressed I don't know my own. I was going to a place in our way to get it removed, and I realized now I've I'm out here in New York. So I go to a really really lovely dermatologists and its being a lot faster, Simonov, his lasers, stronger or whatever it is, but they gather fate on them on the tattoo that I I'm currently getting removed was just so bad that I you know I was like there's no way to fix as other than making it jet black and it would just it it's not what I wanted, and
die, so that was unfortunate by either. Removal process is not fun, but you know it works, but you could get what a few and Lydia Gate like just get a line across your arm, so that, when you put your Next, each other in line connects, lies in nice or you could get her eat caging, get her heart beat. You know my friend, that's all my friend will do that with his wife and an that's, that's really cool. Then he also has a giant octopus on his arm over Doktor Wooes really good at it, he's good at realism and geometry. So he does these like realistic, portraits of things like with in some type of spy, redraft geometric structure right and I'm way in that. But I just can't figure out like what's the structure and what's the thing I almost a doctor who thing I must get a doctor who thing there's the doktor. Has this thing called a chameleon origin is basically a pocket watch that he can imprinted personality and so that he can go into hiding.
Does it really is in its it's enough and its justice really cool design on the watch butts? But you know I don't want to explain that every time. What's that its chameleon art, it's from doktor who and by their tender already walking away. I was safe, they don't know what it is, then block their walk away again. Yet he knows this is no, don't worry about it. Yeah. I just can't just tell him it's a birthmark birth now, some of them long enough for you to walk away worker. My mom give to me. The tiger garage arouses what I saw. What so, what's the next tattooed? You already know what the next one is. Oh gosh, I wanna get what he asked the answers. You, ok, I'm working the jars unless a portrait of dinner ass learn from us. Of Narnia Us Yap? You don't allows one as loan. You know why and on whom I have to leave I mean. Maybe I read all the Sea S Louis now is my favorite. Is that
movie that I'm aware of what is it magicians nephew out that pre coordination the worst. Where were you discovers the pools of every it has either? I try to stay away from, like I like to read the books before I watch the movie, so I I didn't even caution even watch. You know it that's a lie. I did I so the line which the wardrobe then ok, yeah Solana, given I've, learned the other ones, but I want to get outline desperately and it said that's that's gonna be my next which is interesting, because the only again the only non text I haven't, my body is Scarab, so I now, I think, I'm just sort of graduating into portuguese type, a start. You want the full lion or just as face, or would I that's one, not sharp my I told Josh too. We would make a design of just the face and then also may be putting
the full lion so as wages they software. Your own face would be along the lines body like the back of a line on your back and then the timing of the line on your tongue it can be called, can maybe tat twosome Amazon may amazing. Labs lionize one does I'm sure line is as land use everything he has ever those bromide things bring real eyebrow. Would you know maybe one of these days I ll do it, but then I also feel like I mean I think about my age, and unlike is this, where I'm really gonna get my first tattoo at this age, hacking in my pocket forties? Am I gonna fucking get a tattoo? Do let I'd do I didn't do it. You know when I was young, I thought about it for a half. Second, they never did it now. I just feel like the ship sailed. What I feel like I've. If people are, we
read about it like. Ok, if, if you don't really know, if you want to touch you dont get one. Firstly, that probably my advice, but also you can get the little temporary transfers like. I know where to get but I'm pretty sure you can get them for a quarter at most drugstores. You can put it on your wherever, whatever area your rest or wherever you want your tissue and then to sit with it, like a day or two in and see if it really bothers you that you have something there, because it It's different! You know! If you don't know how tattoos it's it's weird and they you know, once you get what you want to get more and more and more a blanket, that's true, but I've always I've always liked tat. Is my older brother touchy art algorithm he's covered in a lot of people. I think a lot of people I know I know, are discovered in tattoos. I started realising a lot of tat it friends, unlike seriously lake, where they are more tattoos than flushing logs in their skin tone, showing it so it's I was. I was like I just always in I've always liked, but minor and
three strategic spots where a lot of people, if I'm standing straight with light, my arms by my side cannot see any of my tattoos awhile, the ad Dona. Why did I was? but just everywhere I like was all the inside of the arm on both sides. In them I rode cage and then my lower hip so, and is it ever been a problem with that with work with acting so I mean, the point about the right, but with no, it seems like most of the characters. I play I mean, obviously is lady Sif. We I didn't have as many back then and we were able to cover them with when the armor and then also I'm more. These arm rap things in the first movie that made it really easy to cover, and usually it's pretty easy people. Room. They don't mind so much, but a lot of characters I play would have tattoo city there add to it or they just leave them and in whatever project, I'm doing. What are you excited about right now? What is making you enjoy full in the world? Oh gosh, the first thing that can pop into my mind,
just for myself personally is just those drivers buckets. Yet, besides the heart, how donor? With I mean, I really mean it you know it's got tired. How far can you go from up is All right, I don't know I it's this is it's not exciting as the pie CAS bite. I I don't know I guess I'm I'm I'm loving. You know I'm lucky to have a good job, and you know no really lovely people like yourself and I'm good friends and and also just to be, I think, for the first time in my life, at thirty four really trying to take care of myself and the best way. I can and therefore being more apt to be able to take care of other people that need help. That's been that's been really great and in just learning that stuff, you know I'm kind of figuring out
exactly who I am and what I want and all that seven I may sound cliche and stuff, but it really is. It really is a huge gift and then just the shift of consciousness in the right now, especially in the United States at the moment of just people really opening their eyes in wanting to be more well informed about what's going on in wanting to make the world a better place in, that's also been very inspiring. You know, they're just seems to be in a waking going on everywhere. Witches is really really amazing. The witness now those are, though, those role great big ticket, but it's no pancakes. It's no part has now. I know I mean I guess it's good to be so We did not apply gas, but I mean like what what little things like pledges in life little universe, just like like a fucking reason, you know what hey raisins, I, like literally raisins olives encountering, means I E. Those are my three most disgusting thing,
in the world. I just sellers gonna get a razor, but not so much great fine, raisin refugee dead do make your debts in the press, the great gone bad you're, an evil, silly little Rayson yeah. Well, so it's not raise and raisins. But what is it? What is it? What's a little thing that little towns direct joy from our cars ok, like meaning like today, just walking here with my headphones and just watching people like that. Like little we'll things I really really love. Also really a pizza that saucer another little thing that I'm obsessed with, whereas the pizza boys it doesn't matter, does not matter. That's like if its accident, I get up like a man, but I still need it. Yeah yeah. I never let a slice go away. All wonderful wars yards the words, but I gotta keep going you gotta give guard. I guess one of my favorite people that is coming into my
Right now is actually Johnson on my show she plays Patterson she's just wishes hilarious. She is hilarious and lovely and just such a bright light- and I absolutely- or her, and I just I really love every day that I get to go to work and choose their it's just so, nice, she's lovely, and what other things like gimme, like you know it Jimmy. I did like food. Or food or a video game or show or like poor girl, to urge a dog I love dogs, do have dogs no and I used to volunteer and animal rescue and how many people to use since I've been on blind spots. I've never done, but I basically play with everybody's dogs at work. Every single cast or has a pet and its asthma has a cat. It's it's a girl named Norbert known, it starts Olenin. Oh he's, gonna kill me it's a man's name for a woman. I don't know it's great anyways. He has a cat though, but everybody has a pet and, unlike man, it's really really
Do we really want to get a dog brutality? we're going to have a student when you have a sixteen hours, no idea take care of it right I mean, and our set is super dog friendly. So truly great, I could bring the dog there. My Custar Sullivan Stapleton just got a little Frenchy puppy and Frankie, his name is Franklin D couples worth he named him, but he's sat everyday, like we literally have him with hair and make up behind the monarchy just nooses in the corner they play with them and, unlike ok. So this is like free childcare. So I need to need to get on those in and get a dark. Let's see what else other things you have time to watch anything I will so. This is crazy. You're gonna think I'm crazy. If you didn't already I this past week in so I love might want. To my I'd say. Probably my favorite movie in the world is Spartacus Kirkdale
was he's just phenomenal. I thought the movie was amazing, so that was, I believe, was made the sixtys and Seventys. There is, I guess it was made for tvs, many serious, but it was six and a half hours, long, Jesus of Nazareth, a hop donor ever seen it, but it is it's so well. And the acting is so amazing and the messages so great because I find a lot of those movies are, I feel like their laced with their meaning, underneath that brain watches you into wanting to like slit your own rest. So I don't watch that stuff all the time, but that one in particular, I believe a hits, hits the truth pretty well, and I I loved it. I was like, while I just you know, I just put an end to today's. It was raised long, but you know like an increase in it, and that is just so many, so many great actors in it and it was just so so good. So that's what I've watched recently but I'll find little treasures like that on Amazon or Netflix or whatever. It is an act, but then, if somebody like have you seen game thrones, unlike Nope
You know I might not end with the crowd I was like. I do not know. I have not too vikings right. I have no idea this terrible, serve, I am I'm terrible. It's hard to keep up it's hard to keep. Does the thing I can't keep up with half of it has to be like Eight episodes just released on Netflix that I can somehow get in to a very short weaken like half a Saturday in part of Sunday right, because I go to bed at about seven thirty p m Sunday is allowed to be solely on Mondays. So yeah I out any too. I guess brought my horizons available. The youngest people like you, live in New York to go to shows units and nobody tonight, I'm going to play, don't even know it is it's gonna be on you'll, be here yeah and its. But that's that's part of us. That's for the fun thing about just like just come moving with life, yes, you're, just
get your god I'm and what is right and in the end, because unless I'm, if you didn't know what it was, you'd have the ability to judge it before you were right and you MIKE honor. If I want to see that kind of thing or night, but then you're gonna go and be complete LISA Prize by whatever it is. This is very true and are not really a theatre person I never grub doing plays I never with went to school for acting or anything. So if you are showing people space into a man, I guess I was not going to deny that Why is he has? I was sort of reforming our? It just happened to Bruce and mean that wasn't reforming. Lots of lie that tourism, yes, Yes, I've. I've not really into musicals running things. I've started to try to go and see you know cause they live in what city trying to go and see plays things, and I saw angels in America which I thought was incredible. And then I saw Iceman Cometh with Denzil Washington and even more
It was actually on blind spot. So I went to see him in that former walking dead. David Byrne them. Then let me just pick that name his great hero big dude. I had no idea how big of a man he was until he showed a pun. Sentinels like whole hope, my god he's drink water. The even more is really nice guy really sweet So, yes, I've been trying to sort of open up. My guess. The culture in my life, as you could say just by reading different, but I'm so glad you're feeling so good and just in bright embracing that in its praise, because you can't You know when you're on the sort of the dark side of the personality stuff and you can't really see a way out and then you get out and you see what it's like on the other side. Oh my god, I can't believe how did I not now? How did I not? oh there's alternate yes, and then that makes you more aware so that the next time you find yourself in a dark place. You know youth,
you're, very aware that you can get out of it, and so that's really harbour. I actually have to just think my sobriety for that, because that mandatory white getting sober, definitely put things in perspective when you learn a lot and its its intense, but it's worth it and it's a good play sounds good, that's good! You got a twinkle in your just is just really might be the coffee, I'm sure you know I'll. Take it. A care really drew go out. I've been caffeine, long time, remember yeah! I got it just makes me so shaggy by would love to be able to have a cup of coffee and feel that, like part of the one part of the world. I feel oh at all, like its coffee to me, as I hope juice. Is it the I'd I'd turn into the hawk, like I can bench press this, this recording sigh I always get decaf
A lot of places in New York, you get weird, looks o totally right. Has this either it's either only empty cabinets either now or its. We'd have to brewing it have to make at the animals like it's. It's a soft yeah reckoning connubial. Can anyone right it'll just be a few very because it there's almost like? Well, what's the point? Like I don't know, what's good and only cigarettes you will love ass, can't handle it cannot handle the liquid adrenaline pumping for My aim- and I usually don't have caffeine this late in the day, but I'm like can I also apply that I'm not sure when it is past seven. Thirty two, I know I'm worried, I'm, an old man. I think it's a good way. I just work our. Why were you do really? I'm not sure I don't know I don't know things are happening to do everything very heavy man.
Never gonna wait, for example. In my view, this is a lesson I gotta remember that fact aware that my one of my knives, maybe two of my natives overboard- you don't but its that's my now they re there, like. I have a nice little tampon and then also a huge knife that you know that could be your next tattoo was out of the hunting knife. This is true, Like the string could just rapid dance like a serpent, why do you have a snake up here, our borders? No, I'm not I'm not a snake, cottonmouth guys come now. I'm gonna bombs. I didn't come up with those. It's not working organised or that we have chosen to think leg with technical tat? Do they do I want it? already tattoo, but in others it doesnt expiration date on jokes, open
than by then it will have to live with this hysteria funny for a minute, and then you like why today yeah, I don't even know why I was just thinking like what, be a almost need, something that so obvious that it's funny, because it so I mean Only I mean you can get the word tattoo tat it on your arm. They don't have to be done now don't like language, but it like I would just do bold letters in English that it's like. What's that? What do you think it is its attaches very dated and says TAT. You do yeah. Why refreshed by or just ups I myself am hops, look, see, dammit or or or just like, or just a really bad script like myself, to address such really shitty over that's, but that's really really become more of an event of an art peace than the tattoo itself. I gotta know if I want to be part of the job right, but maybe I do May I just don't know I don't know what you don't get annoyed remark to write a good. I remarked tat. It really doing the ring
George. I, like I'm fuckin realler. Yes, I also like interrogative statements S. Remark on my arm, but again it's just. I don't want to look at that in ten year right right, that's what s the thing it's it's all You know it's, it's all a risk, but an inner you'll, never know unless you try it does it does what it has done or there's that outcome, which could also happen, and you can just where long, sleeps and we'll get the old singled out logo on my arm? Reality? Remember that I remember you do yeah thirty four! You MA yeah. I guess you file, you would have moved yeah. I guess you would have been barely like almost the age, Oh, yes, you were kind of in the right yeah MTV, for you would have been like the aspiration of age That was what I would turn out. If my mom was come, got it right. Why is it was like home improvement, of course yet more, like I don't know, I'm trying to think of some other like family.
Others say now, like those of the very holds out of wholesome show. What would a Texas smile on her kids to see exactly not, although today's vote by today's standards, single that was pretty tame right right right then, but the stand by those days it was very risque. Rampant today would be laughable, be like oh eyebrow yoga, their redoing. It are they really. I read somewhere that their redoing it while you're, ok, that's gonna be interesting. That could be a very interesting or it could just really suck it, but who knows its labour? We prove I get a lot here. Do not get its ideas doubt now the others. I can't figure out how to be funny singled out were sad, I guess it's out. I mean do you know why? But no I did this because it's done on purpose or grey, don't do things because they done one purpose, be I'll, just be dumb chasm, it'll just be dumb. It's ok just appreciate things for what they are. I dont, so you said you and Josh we're coming up with
next time you did yet it would. It was as on a gateway and then is there one after that is their like. Is there? What do you got some day? I'm gonna get this thing I mean I am constantly inspired by everything around me, so I mean I'm it's a shock that I'm not like Lydia, the tattooed lady you narrowing from embarks on others like I should have them all over my face in my body and everywhere so I don't know. I mean the skies limit with that because I just decided going to live my life, I'd like to live my life and do the things that make me happy, and hopefully I can also have a career at the same time. You know I know it's probably not a deal to get like some giant necktie too. If you're an actress cause, it is hard to cover, but that's what scarfs. Therefore, that's right you just be discouraged, Snoop just pulled out over in just place. It argued the thing is my hair. I try to grow at a little bit over the summer and as of course, our methods
my hair just does not look good long because there's not as much of a left. What's so it's weird it's somewhere jogging like I have I have. I have a good amount to Herod. Just I, when I put extensions inference, show and before using now I had long hair- and I was like look- is good with long here of Zack. I think I'm a short haired girl. I remember when you first cut your hair, I cut it like shorter than yours are losing weight on his eyes. A yell look fuckin coup yeah I liked it. I mean I was so easy for me. I just raw to bend knows I call it looks worse than it did yesterday in the best way possible assigned to do anything it was so easy. I can. That might be, that I've been lazy. That might be part of it. I was like with those extensions easily like I just took like ever to dry, and then I d, like curl letter surmounting than on any curling, earns or anything so yeah. I think I'm images and we keep it short. You got it just for fun. You should just
put a lotta curlers in your have left them. Then we saw it in the seventies and eighties reassure them up a link at the fact that doesn't seem to be like a thing anywhere, remembering let my mom used to have these like little spongy curlers. Yes, My mother did that tat. She would wear them for a while in the morning and but now I doesn't seem to be a thing. Or I should get some of those cause. I bet that would look kind, of course, my hair kind, because it look will probably make it look really french because of you like super o rewrite it do these people know that we are talking about ever we're talking about how to better than did your mental health we're talking about how to do your hair. That's right! We're talking about what tattoos again when one not to get. I mean like those guys limit. We should be taking calls, there's should be answering pupils like question winter. I did see. I do see a greater jewel mine once, but I'm not bold enough to do it, but it was a guy had a tattoo of pop. I honestly
and his penis was Popeye's penis time, that's nice and it because Popeye's proportions are squat like his girl. Now it totally works totally made sense like that is a fan. It's fuckin commitment. That is some serious commitment that is yeah. I you know at the changing gears. I thought I kind of look like olive oil. You do you think you really mean, If I could see you have to have the little button, but I'm like I'm tall in and the little not gang labour kind of you, Debbie Halloween No, I thought I'd. Why didn't? I was. I was working in your ear. Your job is low income you have. My job is, basically circus performers lives our in out of it. I think it to do anything. We did you do anything, but yeah, yeah yeah. I see that as the summit now wait would Lydia was working at the reaction in the work on how but term. But yet you know,
this gave out candy full size, candy bars, boom, yeah and an assortment, and I fuckin I put them in areas like I'm gonna. Put all the this this. The sour candies in here These are all the chocolate ones, and these are the naughty ones, and these are the these are the ones that dont have any peanuts. Are nuts and are right, said are safer and yet and so was an assortment, and I let the kids pick whichever when they wanted and it was a fun experiment, because I got to see like what moved first number one candy sour patch, kids people we longing bananas over patch kids. I so I was a knight show Khilakku why you're back in the day and our characters for some reason they wrote in that we loved sour patch kids. So we got a ton of freeze our patch kids all the time and it was. It was interesting. The digestive tract loading, I love, loves sour candies, lay so good I'll just shoot. Just we have a candy bars in our house like it like a blinkered,
different yeah and joint person, I've ever been with, where I just would find candy next to her to brush, was like. Where did accept these two things are natural enemies in the latter prepared in Asia, but she'll chill just eat like those rib, since we have just like, sounds like a fucking conveyor belt sea like warheads enough to remember those regressive yet more, she I'd never scenery toward it. I do but to me those sour, the sour ones like the sugary, Sarah ones. Just all I can see your mouth or as when I look at the I am making my mouth, Canada, single and water, others like I'm getting too much. So I bought a let's arguments. Breathing. Turkey lags spare, worry, there's chile
there's jellybean unquestionable meetings, I'd better. I think about what I think about. What's don't just don't question on the way and all the way out of it is probably a quick experience anyway. The very great very glad lose most of the conflict in your body. But it's totally worth it when we do regarding runs on IRAN's mill, will actually thy pitch that we should have an episode of blind spot where I'm jousting, you know my character would be jesting and she would be. I forget what we said she would be, but we would like is every October, there's a renaissance, fair in and out to get that far from the city, but its upstate. Can. We please go film, something were under cover. We have to go to this renaissance, fair, my character can joust and, of course, when data, but we kept trying to purchase for years, we ve been trying to pitch there's an there. Does there like now and then, but But why ok? You know what my life contract renegotiation. There's gotta, be just imagine if she's not what is
ask me for a lot of money. Weirdly. No, you just wants to just one. Let me that we're not going to farmers the worst part of it. It would probably be a double jousting anyway. I know you should do, but there's one the one in Ill is the one another way, but the one in southern California in may- and it's really come on giving Ashley actually been that it's really fun. I really love stuff like that acts throwing in archery on in Europe all of it. I you know. What's weird, I don't know why this just popped into my head. I think, as I think about if sit like a female jousting by why they need to make a shell and I'll do it. They need to make a show with like a female Dexter. Ok when thou be twisted and weird, but just a lady serial killer, basically but likeable, but yeah. Isn't I don't think so, but also I dont get out. Much saw not sure I did so. You remember turn
think of third member American Psycho the christian barrier. There was a sequel with me right. Yes, sir, but like a series like like a very dark twisted series, but with a female as the serial killer gives you dont when you like any time you hear about a serial killer or or some murders of its usually a dude which a state which is whatever that's just what we we here in the media and sport. I'm like there's gotta, be the I mean. I just think that such an in concentrating have zero killer gender and we need to do this. Young Ladys can kill people selling. Actually they can't it's not jester creepy. Why do twenty five down fifty living so handsome yeah book tat like why a neighbor? Yes, let's make up a little bit? Let's get a woman in the kill room. Yes
doing the killing. Yes, you dont know why this is coming out of my mouth. Well, number one! You have an extensive knife prepared, but I do want to cut. People are we'll do or do you who are you trying to convey my idea that you already committed yet they say to hide the truth and planes light. I mean the truth of the matter is: if you turned out to be a serial killer that they might by mere, then may I Chris you knew this. Also, do you never know? I want you to be like here: defence can be like women still We have already about Hardwicke, is doing the right age, re rashly pets with white, how how much more bread of bread from trail. Do you need hello and without having a real you're like cooler than I am so they were just go Jamie's rights,
now off. I regarded jails and then you will be able to continue murder, and this is true- that's true as much as possible and we got. I find that all that stuff so crazy. When I watch like you know any documents- air dark in document areas on Syracuse, unlike how'd kit, how can first of all, how can somebody hurt somebody like that? But also how can you do that more than once that, like? How do you keep doing that? But I guess I dont know, because I am not one. Thankfully, thankfully, but it did, you say, just completely gets me, I'm like how does somebody to it so weird, like we have four compulsion right. We have. This episode were familiar and outlines byword. There's somebody who's a serial killer in it and just reading the script, and then I had to form a saint. Naturally, with said person, and just the things the products that we had in there I was like who got this makes me so comfortable and then I was just like. Oh, I don't even want to think about the reality of this. So no, but that's, but that's why you probably want to do it, because a kind of gives you some power over it.
I maybe I don't know, I just think- would be really interesting to take what is tippit one thing and switch it into something else, interested just in all tv shows and movies, not just like male female female for male bag to slip in concepts on their heads. I think, can give us a dongle contacting about the thing about Dextra that was so compelling was obviously there a lot of things but obviously make us. He has an amazing right. Yes, but its internal monologue was rate, because if you could remove yourself from the fact that he was killing people, they re think they did the thing they monitor carefully. Killing bad people. Writing, ok, like as our I'm like a bad rebel rain, but took like as somebody who portraying a serial killer to like them to be for him to have made that character like Lord somehow, without vulnerability better. You d, I basically his internal. Basically was just saying I'm an outsider and I dont know how to fit in well. People watching we're like well, I'm an outsider right, I'm not killing people, I'm just we're at parties.
Tone I live in a base. I live in a basement, but I don't know how to fit in. So that's what made that like. It was so humanising in that way, because he really was. He was doing these horrible things, but he was really just trying to be the best human that he could be right with the limitations that he had right and move. You know we somehow he was justifying everything he did and it, and I decided I find things I got really well done no diked. I thought that shows great. That's the summit, but I couldn't watch. I beg, got a mother up, that's gonna be a next thing. That could be your next thing. I'm pregnant, where's and then I'll be like great. I really should have done some sort of like romantic comedy. I don't I know her getting kicked around and also like. I want a laugh. You wanted to see. No, what it will bring what about harmony but you're a serial killer.
It takes place a Christmas perfect and how the free gingerbread I can handle all the free gingerbread and you accidentally barrier Christmas present and give your new boy. The foot we a misunderstanding and then you gotta go dig up. Is you know other whatever? Whenever you gave me whatever kind of sports, forgetting as in many areas we might say that just I'm just think about it. It listen we can do this. We can do I'm game, I'm game, I'm game totally game, but I'll need your foot wait wants Why are you so you have a knife in your bag to cut it right, what is worse, as we saw a wrap. This up, you're. What's a thing your most grin in in your support, in this new. You know this reemergence, this scare up, Phoenix like that you're living. What's the thing that you were most surprised by,
the most grateful for the sense that everything is gonna. Be ok, yes, everything's! Ok, like you know things work out, you just have to be patient. I think you know when things when, when negative things would happen to me in the past, it would just flip me. Am I hadn't things. It would just be a whole thing and obviously, because my schedule, I wouldn't have time to deal with a lot of things like maybe somebody with less responsibility, work wise, would be able to, and you know things would build up and now, when things happen, I have to say: okay, this is part of life. It's going to be ok, it's just that. Knowing of ok take one step at a time, one day at a time when our at a time, if I have to put things, will work out and and I'm really grateful for learning-
I guess that I am connected to a higher power in a sense. For me, that's Jesus, I'm not obviously some anew pushes the Bible and something I think from what I understand those teachings. You know I read a cart totally lots of different teachers in my life right now through books and things, and- and I'm just really grateful that I have people in my life that are very supportive of my choice- to become sobering and stay sober and then also people in my life that our sober that you know it. It just helps me realise that I am not alone in this and everybody out there. You know if you're going through the same thing, you're, not alone, and so that's
thing? That's very comforting, so I guess a really large self realisation, I'm very grateful for and also learning how to go. Hey, maybe your mother is shit, may write my right, ok, yeah and also, I think, I'm pretty grateful that I'm an alcoholic and a sense because its brought me too. I am now- and I have such a bigger understanding of perhaps my purpose here and also how life can he's a wonderful, also and not so difficult in, and you know I think, without always amino. I think one of the things that I was doing with self medicating a lot of times I'd, be injured physically or something like that. So at night time I would drink to help myself fall asleep because I'd be up the next day really early and go to work in an unlucky enough that I never got to the point where I drink at work, because I would be very dangerous and my job, but it was always by myself at night, and I thought This is so funny. This is. This is not ok, I'm wasting, sir
hours of my life right now when I could be helping myself get better and I buy just had that realization. I my appendix ruptured I had gotten over about three or four days before that happen. This year it ruptured I was in the hospital. It was very, very serious I didn't know if I was gonna live highly. Yes- and I note with serious matter, knows that yeah headed it'd leaked out. Luckily I had the most amazing doktor she was able to going laparoscopic labour bought by some miracle. Father have to completely cut my stomach open, but she went in three places and got it out able to get everything that had leaked out out and then I was just in hospital for only five days. It took me you know I'm basically in the last two months feeling like em back to normal again because it happened in March, but I said you know I made a pact and I said, listen and not that you can bargain with God, but I did say if I wake up from this. I've got to stay a sober and I've got to change how I'm doing things
this life is so short, and I just had this really gigantic burning desire to keep living, and I woke up- and I was like art here- we go- I mean it's. You know it sucks to have gone through that again, if you hadn't right, if I hadn't island honestly, like I don't have I'd, be here right now, No, it's ok to go through here. Things things give you the armor. They met a dear, oh you, and if you were able to take the right lessons away random, they can be the most valuable things that you experience in life, right, and I'm lucky that you know my first. You know a couple weeks of sobriety were under a doctor's care because of my appendectomies size.
I was very what great sentence I mean the hours like. How do I save us, but it was. It was great. I was able to ask questions I was able to with the support of of my family and friends, really stick with this and in its I'm back to being the better part of myself that I had lost over. You know a couple of years and in its and now it's it's so much better in and it does get better and it does get easier. You just have to work at it. That's that's the biggest thing in life. If you want something you have got to work for it, nothing comes for free and that there is a purpose for that. If it came for free when value it, that's exactly right. That's exert yeah I'd appreciate it, you wouldn't understand absolutely. No, not! You should go out of your way to suffer, but when you do somewhere it makes you appreciate the nun suffer. Yet how would we know at light as without darkness? That's exactly right in your also you, you think you're also its great, that you figured it out really young and not
you know, maybe one. What did I do to God? Damn it hopes that it says and you're gonna have to get that tat in this sphere and that it needs lighted it like on my cheek at my famous, are likely to somewhere were really like. Oh yeah, that's a big groups that are here jobs, achieving appeared. I don't know. Maybe I better get what it's like to get a good measure to your skin and democratically? electrified, harrowing, my so they can make you glow they everything's possible with TAT, is get like. You can get one, that's just like luminescence. There is something like back as we obviously ticket to integrate on my show, but there is something that you can get. I it's either you're you're tat. It was some sort of its not just phosphorus ink. I think it's actually a chip of some sort and close it. You can make a glow, I'm not sure it's a great idea. Folk because who knows you might grow third arm
or maybe I just want to look like a teenage raver or maybe there's that an oh yeah you'll be the first to live on Mars that YAP and then that's where we're gonna I restarted. Did your government retirement how Mars is gonna, be the site of the next burning man? spoken that good and I are created for fucking verandah Mars is gonna. Make me guys. This is not what I signed up for it into above yeah. Were you doing this you wanna Sandstorm, my online as he said one. So We're here not just here, but here yes thank world is a better place with you in it, and I was so happy little great to see you happy and smiling, and am I love that I'm I'm your phone for life anything ever need their service angry. I appreciate you and that's it.
Join your life enjoy a burrito those arson. Thanks for having me Andy's, incomplete.
Transcript generated on 2020-05-17.