« ID10T with Chris Hardwick

Ron Perlman

The awesome Ron Perlman sits down with Chris and Matt! They talk about their old days as karaoke singers, the importance of your first tweet and how Ron got into acting! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Good day or night. It's a podcast number two hundred and ninety one this week, I'm going to perform. In Nashville and the following week, Chicago December Sixth, sixty ninth at zanies in Nashville and then the following weekend at zanies in Chicago I'm going to be working on the new hour of material, so come watch me work out some material and get some jokes. It's it'll be fine yeah. I know it sounds not fun to watch. People work out material, but it's actually it'll be fun and I would like to egg stamps dot, com firms, muttering some sort of than responses the holidays. If you haven't noticed, unless you're a notice or a Grinch, although even the Grinch notice, the holidays. He just wanted to shit on them. But why spend all of your time in the post office mailing packages? If you go to stamps com, you can avoid all the hassle
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people are going to say, which is You didn't talk more about movies. That run was in Chris Hardwick this parliament today, some from parliament is a guy that you just want to hang out with, so this podcast is like what it would be like if you just hung out with RON Perlman, there's a big hang out session and so much fucking fun. I I enjoy him. So here is the notice podcast episode number two: nine one with RON Perlman movie Voice now entering Nerdist com
it's good to have your man it's it's you one of those guys that we've been wanting to get on for a long time, and I wasn't sure if it was ever going to happen and all the thing you got to do is ask I know, but I feel, like everybody says that, do they really yeah you know I was. I wanted you in my movies and Jesus. I don't remember you asking. Is that all it took? Was it? What was I thinking? I guess so I guess we don't over. We could just keep it simple was just keep it simple, no
no, keep it complicated! You want to talk about the theory of relativity. I would love to about those enriched uranium rods are in IRAN. Let's talk about. Let's talk about the the real estate active they're at five percent shit. How about the fact that the gdp- no it isn't anyway. Let me not ramble, please ramble. This is a perfect traveling place for you in that ramble, because once I get ramblin, then it's all over. It's all uphill and it's hard to ramble uphill. I saw you at a karaoke bar several years ago. Wow was it in Korea. It was in brass monkey, the brass monkey. It used to be a regular hunt of mine.
It was a good place and then it got overrun by hipsters and then what happened to me was the guy. Who was the dj there and his name will come popping into my head. Was it look? Probably look I remember Luke. He was like. Was he was. This is Matt well around six fans talking, I'm sorry, we just yeah, we just sat down. It was first time Chris is ever been early. We were just talking about. No, this is my fault. This is my phone. Is not your fault. Rob was just eyes the
so I saw rows of the brass monkey, encourage others tell the story about Luke, the guy who was the dj there. He you there he you know everything was on his and he had not at all all I ever and in Karaoke bars a Sinatra oil. All I ever did in karaoke bars. That's what I remember saying well, I never could sing let's, let's let's face, but but I would get drunk enough and think I could sing like most people in karaoke bars and all I did was Sinatra. I just covered a and Luke had the most esoteric collection of salon. Songs I mean he didn't have. Of course he had the you know the five. You know national anthems, my way at New York, New York into all that I've got you under my skin, but he had should that only real Sinatra files would know, and it was a kind dream for me and then one Monday night, because there was never
I never had a particular night where I went in there. I just went in there randomly so on a Monday night. I saw Seth Macfarlane in there and he was covering only Sinatra songs and it got to be sort of like a sick twisted Sinatra. I I was there that night that I saw you there. Seth was also there doing contrast. I saw you, I went to the bathroom and I came back and then there's RON Perlman sitting on a stool just leaning into the microphone singing a bathroom. No, took. The leg in the next tool was sitting on some random mine. It's not important who's here, hopefully your event over the park, someone pushed in my stool Y Y, who actually took me the brass market. You told me that joke originally This applies a leather funny. I life just goes around comes around so You anyway, you witchcraft. I think you saying witchcraft, I it was
That was a Monday, and I saw you had a chance. You have you went to like later in the week like Thursday, Friday or Saturday. If you got one song as this was the most travel carry out your bar, probably in the western hemisphere, and you know, you'd get, there are six o clock at night and put your ordering and you'd lucky. You were lucky if they got by eleven yeah and forget about doing a couple of numbers in the anywhere on this one Monday night, it was slow enough so that Seth got to do like five or six, and I got to do like five or six and we got to be it it it it it. It got to be. We all started with like the the the boy looked.
Sinatra and then got more and more obscure and up the you know and and the like cutting edge. That says that as well, how about this one mother, Frank off? We had a natural and when I remind the south of that he has no recollection. You are here because to tell me that it actually happened. It was a wonderful. It was one of those experiences where you're, like I can't believe, is actually happening. They're going up one after that and set who at that point. Obviously you know people were certainly aware of Seth, but he wasn't. He was just STAR like family guy was relatively new and it wasn't. He wasn't the juggernaut that he is no, that he be ended up becoming, and so the only like ten million of the hundred million even a hundred, and so but it still was. You know, because that shows up in the black jacket in the Collared shirt shared ring a ding ding. His history was,
the thing all right and you know I know, I was winning when I when I would watch him. Take the mic from me, and you know, see how big a scowl he had in his face was, as he said, thanks RON, I had him. I had that mother. And then I saw him in live with like a sixty piece orchestra. So I mean that's like you like you, like you say it was. It was the beginning it was just emerging on on the night when we were all together, but some years later he became like you know he actually Harry Connick out he became the walking incarnation of Frank a a little bit, and I mean I can't even afford to go to Korea town anymore, because all I do is basic cable tell I have to my and now is in the town. You know, which is like a poor man, so actually have that you've been you've been
so? I can't even afford Korea time you've been assigned to a different karaoke karaoke district, based on your your incomes network, cheap, the mother, hey it's, arrives age gonna, we're gonna have to get up numbers need. We need to get that guy back into Koreatown. Show is doing well, but not brass monkey. Well, we need to retain Louis, so he's going to have to stay in TI town a little longer, Louie doesn't even like should be allowed to go in there. I love that, I had a great group and we went for a couple years and then slowly people started getting Married in families and they just sort of and then it got more crowded and it just did just that sort of lost its fun. But anyway, I think some new management took over at the brass monkey or the old manager got up on his high horse and you know gotten looks face and Luke.
Walking away from the place. I have not been back since we moved to disorder. In Burbank for awhile. That's where Luke one That'S- and I I I I but I went to Bazaar- does in Burbank for a few times, but the then my career. And as a Karaoke lounge act, you know just came dashing against the rocks at any point at warp, speed and lucky and look at my back teeth at some I. I really think it would be amazing to go full Hellboy, go to go disorders and think some Sinatra songs. Don't think that that is that far fetched my friend because they follow the follow the internet. I know that I know I know I did it for the all put the you know: bushes boys, the drop of a hat, all my god. We ve got our anger, start making kid that are dying, feel good, red,
it's way way outside my contribution. I you're welcome. I think that would be fucking awesome to get that'd be a fun thing to do, maybe before Pat for the record. If I ever get diagnosed terminal anything, I want them in the beast makeup. Oh nice not a lot of people ask with anymore grandmothers. Women with Linda Hamilton, women with Linda still asks I was such a hit with grandmothers and you know my mother was a young ladys. The gravest double they want all all the ladies wanted the beast to swoop in, and not all the ladies on the the guy, the young, It is one of the spider manner.
Somebody, young and new. Well, that that you I was like you know I should have been doing Jerry Geritol Commercials as beast. My joints aren't what they used to be. I I you are an never since that curse got put, don't don't you ruin and ruin my joints. Why you were on like that was a right around twenty one Jump street time, so that was like that was, like Dep Dep, was on, one of the other channels, that's where all the young, a young chicks, because I always wonder you get it I like that you like this is great we're going to do like five thousand and sixty episodes of the show. I have a job, that's regular work, and then you know like season two hour. Four thousand of that make up like what what did I do. Uh yeah, but in all seriousness- and I promised myself- I would never be serious again- um you're breaking approach just
bear with me. This won't take long. Ok will take it down. It was the first time in my life I ever made a buck. I mean I had you know I was. I was outside the fringes, that's how that's how obscured my career was prior to beauty with the. So the fact that here I was on prime time CBS Friday night, eight hundred o'clock, my time in writing. You know the most commercial spot, and the universe was such a novelty to me. 'cause. I never ever thought that you know I would ever do anything that was like a fastball down the middle. You know mainstream uh and coupled with the fact that I truly truly revered the role that I was playing, I loved the way the beast was conceived by Mister Kozlow, an felt very lucky, so
there was never a twinge of of of that. This is burdensome in anyway. This this is almost like the opposite of that. It's almost like this, and and and strangely enough of the the same with Hellboy, you know the character. Was you know, I I just kept saying to myself: there's millions of people on the planet that was there with me right now, yeah. So you know I mean the minor annoyances of a four one, slash two hour makeup: job shit. You know that there's a whole lot tougher ways to make a living, and I guess that's true. It's going to school teacher or coal mine, but you're stuck in that chair for so long and it's like the makeup, you sweated a lot and it gets in your eyes and in the contact speaking fuck that shit down, we convinced them. I get terrible well, there was gonna, be a Hellboy three, probably but not now, not anymore, for almonds, out What did you mean because, because you you Chronos in Kronos,
oh- that was his first film, and that was my of course, introduction to and that was like one thousand nine hundred and ninety two. I had this kind of a sense just from being in his presence that I was in the presence of something. That that was kind of special in and unique, and I didn't want to over blower, because you know I was so wired and still am wired for failure side. I said you know this is this can turn out well, but disguised rather interesting? He has. He has a rather interesting lens through which is looking at the world.
Definitely through, which is he's. You know, making these amazing visuals arm and the you know like the sale and the end of Casablanca. That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, really beautiful friendship with now done. Five just finished Pacific rim, which comes out next summer- and you know I just marvel at the fact that he still speaking to me
after all the cheap shots, I've taken in his movies, but you guys have been really almost ruined the guy a labyrinth more like a labyrinth. No, I know that's why we take a shot at it. Of course that was a masterpiece. When you were a kid, did you start acting like like how far into your adolescence? For you like this? I want to do this acting thing. Well, it's a kind of a hack, nice story simply because I've told it so often, but I'll tell it to you again, because you obviously didn't see me on the view that day I missed it, but I usually check in just to see what hassle came to an of course you know she's the one conservative on the show on like that would be Goldberg what he felt about that. How about that tape that Romney to it can we can? I lectionary my too close to the polls to be elected right now, go for it, probably not going to be
but Florida? They had some hangy things in the software is not working in Philly in Ohio, Pennsylvania. Now, you're black, you can vote so I am black where with no one knows that, because Chris, because you just refuse to search from the internet. No, no! I'm gonna! I'm very sorry, I'm very light skin! Every morning at this guy you know from one side I wanted to see what it was like to live. Body of a white man, it's pretty Great, I gotta be honest. We haven't pretty easy. The perks right yeah, the perks, are fucking. We have it pretty easy. We have it pretty easy. I gotta say it's kind of a cakewalk. It's not fair, really, not fair. Anyway. What's the hacking store, I got to be,
oh, yes, there was a magnet start. So I'm on the swimming team in high school and the whistle blows and my swimming coaches standing there with a rather well dressed, very tall, very feet, very handsome fellow who happens to be the head of the drama department. Smart guy makes sense right. He had he had the best wardrobe in this high school prom and get out of the pool you're going to go addition with this guy, why you why? Why be coach? Why may well? Because you know they need you know it had to have it. This is for the school play and they had forty five girls. So open, no boys, and so you know he's going around trying to- and I said well yeah, but what does that have to do with me and he says well, it is gonna really actually make me say this, I said say what he goes. Maybe
Can do the drama department a little bit more given you're doing doing this swimming coach- and I said I said after I go further than our coach to that was like there was that there was no, you just send dusk, before that keep allowed to pool for other things. So I what was I so anyway. I said: well what happens if I don't get a role in the play, he says you can come back and be third string. Swimming team, no problem, there's always a place for you on the bench, and I said thanks, The so I I got the lead in the play, of course, because I was the only guy that they were. It was fact talking to a this morning, and you know your chances of good if you're, the only one that you're going to get the Bell role
That actually does simultaneously make you the best and worst in the play, and I never looked back man. I just I did the next play and the next play and the next explain that took me all through. High school and then four years of college and then two more years of grad school and by the time I got my master's degree, which is covering up a whole in my bathroom wall, that I punched put this masters here. What a perfect thing to cover a rage hole. I knew was going to come in hand. I had done eight years of stage and then went to New York and put on my walking. What did you expect even with What was the expect expected great thing, so disappointed now, but no one,
you would have done it if you didn't think you had a shot at it, though right. I do a lot of things. Chris, that's true man that could have been me speaking. Actually I I didn't have any choice. I mean I had zero aptitude at anything. There was nothing I had to find something that requires no skill and no discipline, and so I found acting and the I'm sure that there's a lot of actors right now, shutting this fucking thing down you prep bastard, you out at me, yeah Cox like. Why are they from Boston? Because that's where the aggressive people, I I thought, the romanian hey, I gotta carry this cheese my fire in Romania or Word Tempest go up. That's Dracula, Pocket Dracula when we had to give up the figure a week ago,
by people in a neck is shit. Bites do exist. That guy we just bite him right in the neck. Dragula nice will bite him up the ass. You know what I'm saying: hey, I'm five, let's go get a bro hang on. I gotta! Listen to his podcast about acting want to make it so Romania to make it welcome to ripped zone. Popular and uh I was getting up from their. Nobody else. Remember what I just. Take us back to the scene, run your in Romania VLAD. Somehow I hear reason and with his dick. You know what I mean yeah, but you know dudes, that's always
Matt we're over here we're on this side of the bit. Now I don't understand, are you still in it? No Matt come back! No! No! No! No! I'm talking about a bad guy up there, fucking all them dude. Maybe some Chicago Hashtag, no work so much for mainstream whatever shot. You thought you had a network. No, no. The networks have reminded me time and again that I'm not right for thereby makes is fear the agreement basic cable. So I can you know, but that's where a lot of the bed televisions have an area like you, I think you would never been made on the network. People find that out- and you know it's it's all over for guys like me. Was that because you know in the you know, the real deal guys come they'll come out
you've been doing this way too long to have the real deal guys aren't cause you're the real deal guy, like you're, the guy. Now no one sound like I was fishing right there, maybe a little bit. I love my dad to hang on. Let me get off my ass right here, so this is a rod by absence Christ. I got a scab, that's flat flat. That the guy was telling you how he always walked in or to to my or I, like the fuck sounds blood of yours. It's a very good romanian. Time working I've been working on it all. Mr, so you do a lot of voiceover work. Do it to you do. Actually you were on like teen titans, like you did, a bunch of fifteen yeah did teen titans voiceover is the best best. I love it so much best.
You do your work with Romano, one of the one who gave me my start. There are so many people have that story with her she's a she's married. I walked. I walked into the was of a really really cool cartoon and Jim Cummings played two roles. Jim Cummings is like he's I mean he's the who's who of a voices and he's he's so anonymous and so good that nobody knows who Jim Cummings, as you know, unless you've actually know travel in that world and then he's he's a giant is true giant. I was called Bonkers and Jim was playing both bonkers.
Alter. Ego and Andrea Romano was directing that for Warner brothers. She was the director, the House director Warner brothers for decades, and I walk in that room and you know: there's Maris Lamarch during the greatest Orson Welles impression. I've ever heard and that there's the actual guy that they replace the original goofy with MIA was his name some former him. I don't know, I know mores, but I don't know, and and and this guy was get goofy- you haven't been good, I mean- and I was like I was looking for the the the the box. Why pay for the show that I just was witnessing million on it, was it was a really cool room filled with unbelievable town that no one will ever know the names of yeah but pure pure killer talent yeah, because it's
well, you know we've! Well, I I love having. I live in voice over people. Are we gonna, tenable memories been on the show before and Billy West and Rob Paulsen in yeah John, the manager in their great you know, and because pulses just that rage might have the range of that guy's voice is in same that he can go where Grove and other sudden he's up in some crazy active and how the fuck do you get up there and in so you don't smoke as much. We as I did because I've lost the top two octaves enough about me. Let's get back to We time we're back in a bit when you got the dark embrace from very often is way too small on others on June, the fifth day of our acts. As I said, I got was constantly about which got. How is Wisconsin doing right now
When the polls I don't know, I don't know, I think they like unions. Again they love jeez? I know that much cheese is in its in This is the side note. I had a really embarrassing thing happened on the way over here, which was I was at a meeting and I had the parking ticket that got validated and I was peeing and my phone vibrated and I tried to multitask by pulling out the phone with my left hand and the parking ticket flew into the toilet dead center into the pee stream. Well, if you're going to pick one of the things to fall on the toilet parking tickets, the one, but then I had to go, explain to the receptionist what happened and why I had to get. I had to fill out all this paperwork because I lost the parking ticket. I would love to have been there for that explanation. Rather just pay the maximum daily. Whatever for the parking, oh just a knot of delegated acts do not deal with that situation. I should I throw out and apes gaze alors to not do that. I took a picture of it because it's just like you showed up,
photographs no thing sitting in urine, no rest of you. No, it was the the rubber gloves that gave you away. You probably wanted to make a difference. These Cavin gloves also the thumbs up, was weird weird join the photograph is perfect because it fell perfectly in such a way that you see the validation, the validations floating in the pig he added its. This story is at all, Most gonna instagram it, but I don't want people to see me. Is that weird? If it's like, really dark, yellow, maybe don't it's like a nice light. Color go ahead. You're hydrated did you say insulin, or did she be any kind of medical advice, so you need to drink water check the salt in your diet. I did not. There was no sodium intake discussion. I didn't show her the picture. I just I danced
found it in the awkward fashion that I'm so good at so famous for I'm give you this other ticket and has hydration chart for your well just match the color, the color, your p, the risk that you run is I'm like. Well, this drift into sexual Smith territory, when I m sure, did when you shouldn't a picture of your pay, its rights, and I brought her into reenacted Is that what happened? crying. Here you hold this. No, I don't hold that. Don't hold that! Don't hold that hold you! I have to take the picture. You hold the dick. It was so embarrassing. So embarrassing, and she was not. Did it all out. I expected I expected to be able to regulate it. Laugh a laugh about it. Oh like this huge thing that it was just Anyone at reception, sense of humor was gone a long time ago, yeah she's been ground down into a nub. You working right now are. Do you doff on a break this interview? This
workers from the I've survived understand it's heavy lifting all day. Yeah. Of course I actually just finished season five of sons of anarchy, nice on a Wednesday and on that that was in north on and through the miracle of Delta Airlines. On Thursday I was shooting a young, a young, a small new young Indiana Jones Young, filmmaker was it a small filmmaker young you young, I was doing anyway, I was in New Orleans now I've been? I was there for two weeks. I just got back like yesterday, and here I am with you, so I've been miraculously quite busy, which is when I'm having
yes and an even more miraculously in New Orleans, which, if you've never shot a movie there do you know figure, it figured out, guess down or you know, just go down there for jazz fest or just go down there and get a hotel and and and eaten every restaurant that they recommend you to and take a walk on Frenchmen Street, the coolest town in the United States. I mean it's really like it's not like any place. I've ever been have come back completely refreshed and and and reinvigorated and extolling the praises of that's that has taken it on the chin more times than you can possibly imagine. Yeah New Orleans in New York just have a fucking rough go and they just they get they get back up and just get get right back to business. Well, it's getting neurons is still getting back up. Yeah, but they're doing it. New Orleans is still getting back up in New York. It's going to take a while to get back up on my
apartment right there in the black zone. No now was blacked out. My wife sat in the dark for a week which you know that neighborhood also happens to sport. You know lots of judges and congressmen and senators and it's very white collar neighborhood, so I'm pretty sure that nobody in that neighborhood was prepared to like have to take one hundred dollars. Taxi too
sixtieth street to buy bacon and eggs in the morning and ran get enough food to get through dinner may have you seen and and then back to charge their phone someplace and come back down, but that's kind of what my wife's like what life was like for a week and not that I'm complaining, because you know people have it like that. You know three sixty five, twenty four seven so home, but a it's. It's just curious that the the the cities with the biggest heart of the one to keep taking it on the chin
I mean new Yorkers are the biggest hearted people in the country, except for New Orleans hours, new New Orleans or whatever the phrases and those people are just like me. I have never been in a city that wears its heart on its sleeve to the degree that New Orleans does it's the most emotionally based place in the United States. Everything is done from the heart. Everything Ann. I don't know it's it's cool. I can't wait to get back. Are you at the point where do you want to do you want to write stuff for direct stuff, or do you just like if you just like performing, I do not write except emails. I write really good emails and make a movie out of one, and I write really good emails to, like I thought about that. It's a landlord, so if you, if you ever RON I got the script for your latest movie. It's all Amazon receipts. I don't understand, wait a minute RON, Perlman consumer advocate we're gonna dress you up like hell.
And send you to knock on people's doors and be like how come you kick my client out before I hit the term one? Is he just broke the lady player shit? I did no, no just one of them. Okay, the other one's fine, alright backup is still good, yeah, the backup one still good. Now you take that you go start a new backup, yeah. No, it's fine, the second one's gonna be fine. I don't know my own strength. I mean you look at these guns and you go of course you're, going to break things. What I said when I saw your gum when you found out there's like that was weird that he broke something that wasn't weird. I saw hope you see how Kogan know he was here like at six hundred and fifteen, just wandering aimlessly in the building, I'm sure not sure now. Well, I'm sure he had something going on like in this bastion of entertainment
be building Hoekstra vortex. This is really where it's all happening run. This is the intersection of academia, and does he get to be get to a place like this, and you just you know you do it. You use different feeling start come up like one which is the best parking spots, the one I want closest to the elevators, but not too close that I have to come face to face with the rabble that come in right that that Mitt Romney that no one can get in. But me that's right. The Rummy Vader, which looks a lot like the walk of it or have the magic underpants actually power the US, but it only goes sideways. What what when it is, if he wins, if what, if you inside with, Romney what happens if he wins I'll. Tell you what I'll do turn on MSNBC and Watch Chris Matthews Head explode. That's what I'll do vice versa. Romney wins
I mean rather yeah. If wins are going to turn on Fox news much their heads explode. I just love both sides of it just like one, where wrath, whoever wins it doesn't with our find some enjoyment of it. Of course that affects me, but you gotta, think of the my immediate future. I got a lame duck. President of the turn on a turn on MSNBC can watch their heads. Explode Obama winds again, I'm gonna turn turn on Fox. I just to watch. You ever had exposed as it. So it's so the opposition is so one way or the other that Bill Maher the other day said. You know. I went either way. You know of a bombing comedy called bombing: was the country wins if, if Romney wins comedy, when yeah yeah yeah video? What comedy comedy flood comedy is always going to companies always going to win the electoral vote. So there's still one hundred and fifty four one, three thousand one hundred and twenty four.
Oh boy did you vote today? I did vote today. Did you vote today? I did vote today I didn't vote today. You didn't, I was stuck in this building for most of my day, working yeah. I had to sandwich it in between my day started at seven, a m before the polls opened. I walked to what I thought was my polling place on the way to work and it turns out it was not my polling place. You know you could do in that case what the provisional ballot? This is, what I did you get original ballot when you don't go polling place with the shortest line and so you're, not on these roles, and I go yeah look again baby does have the same So when I do around they look look again. Baby and then he started saying no. I didn't think so. What do we do? She goes when you go to the same polling place we went to last year. I said last year I was in Poland. She said
remember where the land of poles. Anyway, I got it done like I said with the provisional by, you get a provisional ballot and then they basically just have to fill out all your information, and you know they take your address and everything and then they put put in a separate box. I didn't not good for you guys. MIKE Ferman always had this. My buddy MIKE had a theory that, if you weren't, able to vote. You have you go out into the city and meet a guy who had exactly the opposite political views as you and then you both agree not to vote. So you cancel each other out. I donated money this year. I think that was I did. I did my part I feel like when I couldn't vote click here. If the money Sure, that's the american way the american throw money at. That's you you right just wrong I gotta do I run my house to stop crying here's the fire.
You actually putting money into your they plan even inside what do you do for what do you do for fun? What do you like to do for fun? yeah. I want to get a little personal. Let's take it down, I don't have any fun, you have fun, you're a fun loving guy round from, and I can see it in your eyes. You like fun, I'm actually a little bit of an MSNBC freak yeah, I'm a political Nike, which is why I've kinda mentioned this thing now for thirty or forty times in our short time, together yeah, I play some golf with the boys. Now, that's my my best on wind, but I do and then I work I'm a workaholic. I either I'm working on my neck, thing getting it ready or working on my last thing or working on something as we speak, kids are up
house right now, so you know that was pretty time consuming driving them around la you put in your time, another gun. Now you go. I play some call, hang out with What's your favorite course around a karaoke, I there's a lot of great golf course. Might my home course is month it's a public. I played there in the hood, yeah yeah. It's that's my home course. Most blue collar golf course on earth and and then every once in a while I'll get invited to someplace. You know really fancy. I got friends, I don't have those friends in high places. I work the bell, our country club, all through college I mean Know- and I I buy worked and thereby worked everywhere. That course I caddied I worked in the back room. I parked cars. I got to play there, though right I did mondays you could play there. Are you a decent player? I'm okay, you know it's the short, always what it is
when I carried it was always Mondays, I could play Mondays Mondays in Massachusetts. Caddies day Monday, no one is Monday slowed world over 'cause everybody going back to work and yeah, I'm all right. I hire you know it's only when you, play for a while the short game. The goes I can. I still have to have our Meredith all STAR golf I can drive the shit out of the ball and then I get around green. It's like well, there's five strokes, yeah, it's a short game that you got to focus on, and I know I don't have the long game either or you don't need it though you don't need a law gave me just need accuracy, just need to use it hit the ball straight. I just like the beer. Roger didn't bring any clubs Nedda s going to write the guard, give put give Gimme a six it'll be a designated driver card over here I'll, tell you what I get the first round or two then we'll take it out, and then you start singing on the golf course. They hate it. When you do this better, if you're a little you know
When you go with RON there's and twenty first, you always get around the like that was awesome. Let's play another eighteen and you get like four holes into that. Second, eighteen, you know a guy cab job done done with the ship, I'm lucky. If I make sixteen these this yeah, I don't know, I think it's the concentrations, brown and then these the news ago, what you you need shit. I mean I don't even know couple of bad tackles play football. No! running around clay. Karaoke get a little rough. You know I've been hit. Your thing like I do next. That's my Katy Perry Song. You piece of shit, for girls.
The violent you out natural me fuck, you! Why don't we get? We could get him in here he's across the street. You know he's at the other courtyard building that doesn't mean we could get it. I feel like we can get him. Who else can we do this? Often everyone. I don't think we pissed up. I mean, I don't think the remaining Going to be too happy about it, but I don't realy know what our demographic is over there. It's fine, they don't know and they don't have pods over there. They don't have them, they don't have them, yet they don't have the Yet in Romania, you tunes tonight answer now Actually that was a year, no joke that was borderline the border and made the joke. Okay, you through. Did you that those pretty fun thanks RON? That's what I do here welcome I'd, be so intimidated if our prefer rate
am I performing and you were sitting in the front row and you weren't laughing were just like. I was all right. I just feel like to you can get Chris. Did you ever ever play? Did you ever mess around with live comedy at all? Very first thing I ever did was was comedy with stand up comedy holy shit. I had a partner in junior high school and we didn't. We didn't feel as though we we're funny enough to write material, but we felt pretty secure that we can deliver it, so we just stole from people and that man's name was Carlos Menzies, because it now He wasn't even born. Yet when I was doing this shit man, the
the guy. I really like to steal from I mean you know I stole, because the great thing is that you know if you're working in like discotheques, where it's nothing but sixteen one thousand seven hundred and eighteen year olds yeah, you can do nothing but Henny Youngman stuff, and they preferred. I mean if you were, you know at like retirement homes and stuff, where you know all of heard to send the young, when you can do George Carlin and they go go, this is a revelation. Look at this kid. This kid is funny, though, that all the seven words I'd say I think hunt is one of them get in here. So those are the two guys I like to steal from, but I I'm sure this has happened to other people who tried to try their hand at stand up comedy. It's terrifying, I mean stand up. Comedy is terrifying because, let's face it,
are there to get laughs and if some for some strange reason, you're having a night where nothing you're doing is working, you are dying in ways that you no real death would be appeal. You are, but the great thing about it is that you so like when you're acting, you do a scene, you kind of go like. I think that was all right. So I don't know it felt to be leading the way I like it. You just don't want to. I want to buy I you know I do Miley Rooney's of bird came after the right guy. It was something my dad would say the Nile it just at the food of love that I thought I could get by with a generational thing, but you're. Actually you know that that's totally filling my dad would say, but that's what that was the group killing thing about acting is with. Is that if it didn't work, you didn't write it and you know it wasn't. It was not personal. There was this kind of like
Doing play yeah. Sorry, your taste doesn't run along those lines you know about comedy is just so personal, it's like you and them and you're responsible for the good time with their other having or not having yeah, and I just there was just way too difficult for me, and I was just way too. I was just I didn't. Have the the calloused mind set that one needs? No, I don't know how guys do it, my hat's off to the comics room, because it's tough stuff stuff to do some stuff to do well and you're, gonna you're gonna have some nights. I've seen some big big names have horrific nights and then they start to get the stuff to get hostile with the audience yeah. I think it's their fault that their
being funny and probably probably was probably was their fault. So there's a relationship that you form and sometimes when you get no, I actually watched somebody who I adore shall remain nameless and she will give us a hint was it there always said. That is the fact that her Jerusalem, there was it it well, could have been Rita Redner. No, it's just that Rita runner, I was in Vegas in eighty seven, there was no there is there one of the funniest people. I know one of the funniest and I think most innovative comics. I know, but I've seen her have rough sets in crowds where people didn't understand
what she was doing and took her literally like. Why would she say those things and they get? You know I've seen I haven't seen it happen in years, but I have seen crowds get hostile with her. Well, it wasn't Sarah over there. But now I didn't say that murmured anyway. It was somebody like that and was situation just like that. And it was announced in the audience, and you know I was there to fucking door adore this person by her, because I do I do love this person's commerce and I'm going holy Shit, what you just said: fuckin bombed and then, if she compounded it, you know like to the fourth power like everything and it got worse and worse and worse, and then
start, by taking it out on on these poor people, or you know, all they want to do is love her well. But when you know, when you get to that crossroads and you're like okay, this is not. This is not going well. So I wanted to choices. I can either just take a hard left and just move on to something else and see or I can commit really hard and may be committing really hard like people like something about that'll, be funny and then but then that's it like once you're committed to that. If it doesn't bill, you out, you are in a vast hole, but you got to have a go to like a sure fire joke yeah. You know if, if you're trying out new material and you get to about the fourth joke and is starting to feel like a wake right, then you gotta go so two guys walk into a bar and a bar or a and I've seen that not work too, and that's just when you just
do not having some undue delay their closer early and then it's like what is going on sometimes just don't connect with the crowd in the folders on wire crates can't even in a comedy. Is it because I don't I I just I couldn't I couldn't have that as my do you take that stuff? Do you take a pretty hard? I took a really hard when when when when should didn't work, I mean you know when it didn't work, and you know you're just like, would you know the the notion of holding an audience in the palm of your hand? You know, regardless of what it is you're doing, but basically with comedy, because the the responses so immediate and so vociferous is is, is it's like an aphrodisiac yeah? You know it's a powerful feeling and I think that that's probably you know what I discovered that that first player do.
High school was like ok, you know there's the rehearsal process you know which which, which is where discovering discovering the should we're figuring out. What led do here are not allowed. How would I how well, and then you eventually, you know, puts up, put a string strings, some shit together and then all of a sudden you know all the lights go out and as a thousand people in the audience- and you got it, you gonna do that you've been rehearsing for a few weeks and you have no idea how it's it's gonna go and it starts to go well, and you start to feel that you can rolling a thousand people you're taking them on high and you can feel it palpably and you're taking them on lows and every once in a while you're getting a laugh and you can feel it and you can hear it and all of a sudden. You got two hours of that on the stage and you know there's no drug. That can kind of stand up to that. Have you tried Heroin
pretty great. Well, you know what you have probably wire. You know. Performers get into drugs is because they they just get a date in high. They get addicted to the to the high. Well, I can tell I mean what what tends to happen and if a man, I don't, know what it's like I've I've ten I but I feel like it's like this for a lot of comics, but especially if you're doing like six or seven shows in a weekend, and you go up on stage and you just sort of give this show every bit of energy that you have and it's so much about like putting stuff out there and trying to make people happy and connect with the crowd. And then, when it's all over your just alone and just empty, because you've just taken all of your energy and just thrown it out into the world, then you just sort of feel weirdly isolated. Sometimes afterwards, it's really bizarre
and you just kind of feel empty and there's a like hi am I need to get. I need to feel okay again, and I think that's why you know there's also a home alone in this to it. Domino's. Aside from what you're saying, which is, you know totally true that you, the U output, this is stuff that you've almost you're almost left with nothing, it's so intense, you know the the the amount that you're putting out in order to make. You know sustain that level of whatever it is it's going to take you through that show, but there's this other part of it where, if you kill, if you just like had if you just feel like Babe Ruth or like you know, You know Eli Manning where you just like everything you looked at just went over the fence or
the end zone or whatever, like that. It was like this magical thing, no one that you try to describe. That too, is going to understand what the fuck you're talking about. I guess you just had like the greatest asset trip of your life and you have. No, you can't even share with with even even your old lady yeah or you know, or your best friend, because they would have no concept of what just happened in that exchange between you and those thousand people yep, and so. That's a that's a kind of an isolationism in the loneliness that is, let's heavyweight ship. That's that's! Why I want it? That's I mean my first instinct after something like that. You know God willing. You know, there's been a few nights like that. You know where you just went holy shit that was trippy and that was trippy is like where's, the bar man. I gotta,
drink or seven. Well, that's why so? Many of us I either get become complete. Alcoholics are gonna, drugs are have to quit. I mean no one in this room, but where in order that they were the words. Can you sure can you watch your films in a theater full of people is that is that a is that an analogous experience? I am not. I don't I don't that's not my favorite thing to do. I don't I do not enjoy watching my own work period and I certainly don't enjoy watching it in a room full of people, especially when it's for the first time and I have no idea whether it's going to turn out good, have we wanna set to go? Okay? Okay, okay, that's it! Okay, good yeah! We have, I have done really I have a discounted I have I have. This is the there's been night
like this, where you know you're in the middle of the fourth row, an you got to get the fuck out of there. It's like excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, wait a minute. That's you want sorry, sorry, I gotta pee, I gotta pee forever and you know yeah yeah. Tax day, there was a fire and just a taxi in the middle of a movie theater, and then the taxi drive through the wall, but I thought that you want to get out. Is that so bad yeah, I don't know I don't it. Doesn't really done enough movies to really know I've got a couple and I'm always like hey look up big my face is, but it doesn't really You said that a lot in general look my face. My face. Do just one biggest call. I have a face owner
I know what you, because I did the PAC Rim panel at Comic Con in San Diego this year and the I mean right yeah and it was really fun to it. That is that's an experience. This is different than doing set up because you're going out where people are just ready. No matter what their just happy to be, there they're ready to love and they're ready. You know, they're just excited you're, showing him stuff. They haven't that no one else has seen the seeing and PAC rim footage this case, and there see you mean that that's like I mean that's the biggest fuckin blow job in the world. Comecon is because I've been doing around through a man. You know if you're down there too.
Bridge, something that is in there we'll house like like a gimmick, Deltora movie, for instance yeah or something else, that's a bona fide hit for that. That's got so much hype that it's it's I mean they are there to hang on your every word and you you basically can't that up right, that's not like giving a performance! That's like just getting this! This cosmic blow job hug, I've seen people it up, my beloved job, that's the name of your fucking Sinatra, cover album cosmic blow job the night and the music fill me with then desire, Bolgia, biological, never that then you just use the sing sing, sing, yeah step on the bit. I wanna see how far this song is. Gonna go we're about to get the code club job Hunka log
he was just to the chorus. He didn't even hit the bridge right man, I'm just stunned, I've never heard like comic con described perfectly. In three words: the Cosmic Bow job Hug, that's true! That's of like getting up on stage and having to prove yourself because you've already already down there there. The appreciation level is through the Linda amazing before you say anything. I think you know really onstage long enough to blow it Brian. You know I have seen people fuck it up before, though, and they fuck it up by not appreciating it like if they seem. You know if they take it for granted or whatever. I think the audience will they're very forgiving about a lot of things, but if they feel like you're taking their time for grand Are you don't appreciate the position you're in with that they're there to celebrate? They will turn and I've seen I've seen people do it and it it's it's kind of.
Fun to watch the Gorney Weaver Sigourney. Weaver was amazing. She was amazing, she was No, I I don't know of I there was beginning which movie alien. Of course I was the the you we send you the wrong pages. That's a different movie! That's the point! you have already put the production this alien rest. What was your contribution? Oh yes, you wanna do You can come in and say one thing and you have to go back to your one thing. One thing to say to say: when I say you own, is you fucking? You could roll way? That's my favorite! I was I like how you like how he stops. Movie. He just knew you
own him? Then women, like I've, literally watch really gonna. Just go. Look up. Look good, Pearlman easy in this movie. Also aliens. It's well! That's all. Thank you. Americans, Thank you, America. What is that alien doing? In my soup, the backstroke, the backstroke, stop improvising. Why why this back an idea we buried? then I'll start having a meeting with the life does take me some place. I've never been. I took it to the kitchen God roared again, neither aliens that are attacking barely he's gonna. Right. Blaze? Please guys, take my joy take by age our geiger this for this I just I just I just joined to diverse. Oh, you did
RON Perlman norm permutations. I couldn't permutations as another guy gonNa Rosa use around problem, a son of a bitch proudly, as you can imagine, mother I could buy, could be argovie homeward first things can do french Foreign Legion better than me, and now they Hellboy over there? What are you doing over hey? I got government they found me. I got a key for arms, no cause! That's terrible! That's pretty good! That's really! Good! That's really good! I'm
where we are now I desire, and I join twitter and my first term, it's very important when you first tweet is it really is because that kind of it you know, that's how the world is going to probably remember you for Rome until you second tweet yup, at least. It was mine too cannibals written a clown. One says: does he s funny to you? It was my friend I opening tweet hashtag. Violin. Let me say it again: two cannibals everything is flown. Okay, so they're cannibals you got it. Does he taste funny to you,
I don't understand, that's why I have seven followers. I mean game right. Human flesh is gaming. It's a little game. The portions are so small. Oh that's a great The accent I love having you on the show. I I really Have you back on the show their mobile packer incomes that next summer? Yes, the be fun to have. You come back on just one We do not become on for any reason you now we can just shoot a round. Fuck em when you come on whenever you want, I don't agree. I think I think with we did. The opposite of of of plug should have mine, I'm pretty sure I lost viewership. You event. The little darky asset of anarchy had me when they put the gun to the baby's head. May last me, with this pod: it's like parliament does
nobody's gonna plug own stuff. Why should I give a fuck about it's? You Perlman Parliament and you lost me the best internet picture in the world, though they'll never see the on for government really ever that's it. So we They would have Fred, not your not get podcast. I get you think like it's a bad thing. I'm I said like have you know. Katie is cancelled on us twice already. No, I can't. I can't talk like this on Letterman. No, you can't two cannibals are eaten a clown out. There you can the cloud and I'll be Paul safer to cattle. Leading a cloud over the punchline. Yes, a little. What you get it there
Clouds are funny even listening, right, we're fucking listening. I we're doing this just want to say I'll. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame benefit? What's fitting, you know rock and roll she's Christ, that's my pulse ever done it. We don't have them for a lot of never felt. I've never felt more superfluous. You feel I normally do. I've been wanting get that to in about this. Dreams come true. We are one dream: rod welcome to run.
Vocabulary! Dreams! It's fun to have you just do a show where you come on and use to find a word and then that's it. That's the whole show. What other words do you like motherfucker? I love that word. That's probably my number one favorite word motherfucker. What is your favorite and who does it if God exists and you get to the pearly gates? What would you like to hear him say, Roman on Lipton, I would like to James Lipton is over there. James Lipton is down there Motherfucker Mobile, so you as Hellboy Bromine Calabro mutations sons of anarchy, one citizens of it well we're we're dead dead in the
it'll of screening season, five right now, which gets us almost Christmas and at that's the end of season. Five we've already finished filming season so so we're about to go on a very long hiatus, because we really do thirteen episode, and I can only take so much joy, Mikhail seriousness. Right he's got his a few million twitter followers doing guy, like you doing, ok, and so I have. I now begin a seven month, hiatus, the shovel, the once one season. Five airs. You will not see season six until next September, So yeah there's a lot of down time, but the Good NEWS is that I get to do things like Pacific rim and stuff like that in the in the off season. Good, so, hey, you know, spice it up a little bit with some variety. You can't so are you are you? Can you slow down for five minutes, so you need to keep moving. I can slow down for
five and then my wife starts to go. Does something dying here really? Does nobody likes to see me around the house ha, so I you know- and you know, as luck would have it- I like staying busy. Ok, but uhm. It depends. It depends. Last hiatus I did nothing except two weeks on Pacific rim, but for seven months I basically just worked on my tan. My tan line. I'd like to see it. You got some color. Let's say that! Oh look at that, you know that's a coppertone girl put on thirty five pounds of muffled or fun course, of course, is muscles and they just tried to dodge TMZ. How do they follow they chase you around. I happen to go to the restaurants that they like to hang out in front of you know.
Like the TMZ case. There's a lot of stuff on me on Youtube waiting for my car parking celebrities are just like us. They have to get around with a vehicle too. I feel like you'd, be bothered less if you just park your own car because they're Waiting outside the valet they're gonna find the v like RON Perlman parked his own guards leagues. Our goal well like they'll, always have been in this city way. Then you're gonna do but if they want to put you know me two and a half minutes of me standing there waiting for my car on you too, the day a Cemex american culture, great, I guess, gonna drop the sea by ten times when you're talking to well. They put that on there, and may I remind Israeli, is they would
eleven eleven, eleven or eleven fellow standing there behind fellow standing there behind that thing, with going sippy cup, nothing to dress, so I'm going to get stock for saying this year. Let's get Perlman. Did you hear that he made thought of ass, a tag? Dmz United, the tag you will take us that, with a song, the little town Jew, This is a couple of words in german little town, Have you grounds in Romania? The not many also ride problems, cosmic glow,
will be available on Itunes, dot com, Your SAM goodie Goody store, thanks for being here my pleasure to see this is fun joy, a burrito everybody. Leaving noticed dot com enjoy your router this episode of the Nerdist Podcast is brought to you by stamps dot com go to stamps dot; com click on the radio microphone at the top of the home page and type in nerds for one hundred and ten dollars bonus offer, including a digital scale and fifty five dollars a free postage at stamps. Dot com enter the promo code, Nerdist.
Transcript generated on 2021-07-06.