« The Joe Rogan Experience

#1144 - Doug Stanhope

2018-07-16 | 🔗
Doug Stanhope is a stand-up comedian, writer, and TV host, also currently hosting his own podcast, The Doug Stanhope Podcast. His book This Is Not Fame: A “From What I Re-Memoir” is available on Amazon.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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big fan of audible and let me suggest to book for you how about your dad store my rake by my good friend tom papa or maybe living with monks living with the monks by jesse it's slur of very fast in podcast guest the light of the stars from adam frank it's another great one another guess these are recent authors and you can pick up one of their books folks go there do it get started get your falcon freak on audible dot com forward slash rogan alright my guest today is one of my fave people that ever walked the face of the planet i love him dearly he is a hilarious stand up comedian in my opinion one of the best of all time give it up for my brother mr doug stanhope again experience during my day joe rogan podcast by night here
status offense swore that you know i'm going to smoke outside this time last time i stunk this place up so badly it wasn't bad at all you would know afterwards because kept saying i get this whole system now it's not it's definitely dissipating i see the smoke in sucked but i remember at the end last time yeah that didn't work is good as i thought it was gonna you really wreak this place up well should perfect you know you're always getting cigarettes douglas where do you get that sugar free fuckin' creamery not sugar free ok good for you well i had that now i'm gonna put a splash a whiskey in it just to hopefully kill the asp pertain to a some fax i'll get by the way i said i i said hey i think he's really see this on stage even when there's no joke but when i'm just angry about it stevie there is an artificial sweetener and it's a big
damn where there's no official sweeteners because you hate getting that fucking aspartame taste right and then it but then i have stevia in it because it's natural and it still tastes like shit so you're thinking oh good it snow artificial sweeteners that means it's not oh it's still he's like shit but it's it's natural schitt have you ever had zevia soda no no but i'm assuming it stevia yeah but they nailed it they figured it out they really did good yeah it's not doctor perhaps sceptical he should be have been burned before it's not it's not coca cola but 'cause it it taste lighter i like it a lot though it's good only we have in here doing we're out we should get some but that's one of the stevia ones that's good that's different different stevia tooling this stuff steve i just generally don't drink things that
have sugar or need sugar sweetened ice tea is fantastic or if it's just juice i like with vodka i put you know i use vodka soda with just a tiny splash of either grapefruit or so there's uh almost no sugar in it anyway i don't drink fuckin' coca cola i'll put a spell national whiskey but tiny where if i get can hammered on whiskey i probably drank zero four ounces of coke so it's health it fits i i know you're always just what sugar yeah it up your whiskey how's things in bisbee are you the mayor yet no we would trying to everywhere trying to find someone to write i would be at the worst i it would be like doing a cruise ship comedy where you know the
first thing about cruise ship would be if you sucked and then you have to be the buffet line with everyone who saw you suck in the whole week you're around people who saw you suck that would be the mayor of bisbee where half the town hates you because you're not supporting whatever stupid fucking and have to see him at safeway have a split is there like a conservative side town in the liberal side of town yeah that's what makes it work but not usually your usual dynamic conservative and liberal it's not uh we hate queers right it's uh the plastic bag ban well you can't as we can't have plastic bags with your bad for the environment will i don't care 'cause i'm used to getting a plastic bag and yeah they they split over just and silly ship that
bothers you in a small town in these latter five thousand jesus christ that so little yeah that's amazing that's really good they leave you alone or people still bother you show me your house all the time oh yeah but not people that live there oh just i mean i'm not a parent was that come by where you are yeah yeah that's we're too right they just they know they go to bisbee and they can make does stand out like this is the move yeah i know there is no more that that can open door of football we don't even do football parties anymore give it up yeah set to weird to what you too many people just even locals i guide i just end up hosting the whole time and never watching yeah yeah that's the problem right and clean up yeah yeah yeah if you fifteen people over and it was no one store owner where they're beer kits so it is a lot of dishes or they'd
it worse they bring food everyone would bring food after a and but then they leave the pain and so you have to scrub the casserole pan and then we'll try to remember who brought it so you can get it back in the that small town live in the cave still for sale yes it is you still interested if everything goes wrong it's from going god i found another house it's even better because really right at the end of a the runway of the bisbee municipal airport so if you had your own little four seater cessna luckinbill burned his helicopter it thank you it had four airplane hangar legs like parking spaces so you could fly i in park right in the house and it was like twenty nine hundred square feet they're asking like four hundred for it and i had indoors it had its own like giant airplane hangar that goes
right up to a bar where you could make a stage in there as it shows that's the one so it's right at the airport yeah that's if you hear other people will not smell bad drugs picture do that's a nice house is that that is the runway oh wait no that's the highway the runway is to go to the picture jamie this house is nice this thing goes dad they flip houses his parents so they came down and they went through looking gorgeous is only four hundred ground you could get it for less wow it's four hundred and ninety nine yeah it's beautiful dad was saying you could probably get it for three hundred and seventy five the only problem is it's county and not city that's good thank septic and shit i'm the worst homeowner ever i can't do anything and you start putting that like septic
on me i have a septic in one of my old houses and the pump broke and then a first the toilet ball started back up and then the tub start filling up with piston shit fun times with like also or in the bathroom downstairs in the tub starts filling up like what in the fuck is going on and it what this colorado i was in the hills there was a house and there was the septic tank with slightly above the house so he had a pump to get to the septic tank so you would pump the waste into the tank it's not a good idea like ideally they always want the tank to be below so it's like a natural flow so the pump broke so that tanks are backing up into the house fun time that's yeah that's the the things that i when i i couldn't do it if i if i did if i had the money i would just by that as all right this is our studio we don't right there right
guests can stay here will make this into a like a place like this so that's a great idea it would be kind of fuckin' airplane douglas can you fly no but i learned but i know a pilot better than fly has actually has a real gig now he would come down he was a fan and he would fly into bisbee from two just to get his hours when it was to get his commercial license and uh he came no not a superbowl party we uh the last special i taped he came down flew down with much of his friends we taped it in bisbee my last special and so the next morning he flew back over the house and he had put stan and hope under each wing and he is there a house it's cool
that's all right now is a commercial guy for sky west the dealt the partner and he actually picked me up at the airport when i flew flew back from hawaii so he was learning how to fly and allison is a professional yeah i get and that's how you do you know he had to build up our so we take these yeah how much are do you get before you get to fly in a jumbo jet questions from a lot of questions other than hey can you fly me to la like if i needed to i want to talk about underappreciated people the people that know how to pilot the planes one thousand five hundred hours that's it and they make dick for money i never read those stories weather like in new york they have these bags single rooms with like eight bunk beds hi let's live in there yeah i know when they have to lay
over can afford what is the same for maine and hundred fifteen hundred for hours only two fifty for commercial sites i think it's non transporting people maybe to hire fifty hours flight time that doesn't seem like a lot remember what how bad you drive when your twenty how bad did you drive when you were twenty good terrible i remember arriving pieces cars with no worries like now just to go to the store i go we're not going to make it to make it on his car but i used to buy lotto lot cars delivered deliver newspapers in side by a car for like three hundred dollars just beat it into the ground and get rid of it i would do that when i lived on the road and doing the triple gigs where i'd have to drive seven hours from the arizona two
southern wyoming and hope the car makes and you can see the grounds for the passenger side floor is rusted out you can actually see pavement sh we drive those cars for ever until they died and then hitchhike to the next town and hope you know a comic there that can get you to the city for the gig could you have ever imagined when you were twenty one or however old you were when you first start doing the road they wouldn't they would look back on those horrible nights with like nostalgia i knew it then i knew it was misspelled jake that and i didn't i was shamed i didn't i didn't i didn't think it was the odds is like i'm a loser i wasn't enjoying it at all i think there's probably a big difference between doing it on east coast in boston and congestion rather than the great wide open of montana
yeah idaho that's probably shows are probably bleecker though like we had shows like you would do a lot of road gigs but they were good gigs like they weren't like the boom of the late 80s i started in eighty eight and i we're doing gigs on the road like hell gigs on the road and probably like eighty nine and uhm there was a lot of gigs back then there were really good you would go somewhere there be three hundred people would be a great crap one hundred and fifty people in a bar everybody is there they love comedy night like some of them were really good but it's just the the never knowing if you're gonna make enough money to pay the bills and the stress of being poor yeah i didn't have a lot of bills living out of my car well that's the way to do a lot of down time at a lot of yo quest
reasonable choices in ladies just 'cause you needed a place to stay to four days before el paso dangerous gigolo days hello this is doug stanhope yeah he tried the travel on the road things so such a you get a view of the country that if you really stop and think about it like how many different places you've been and you for your understanding of america like you've been everywhere you been all the all the different spots ok this is how they rocket over here all right this is how they do it in detroit this is how they are new orleans is different oh connecticut's a little different and then you put it all together and you get america but if you just like a dude who just like parks it in columbus oh i out and and that's that and all you know is yeah cnn and tea arms the lock and go this is what that is what the country coming stalking libs these fuckin' lives with their there the new rules
is it when you when you're out amongst people no one really gives a known gives a and it's it's bar chatter it best but it's you never run into people that are actually affected yeah you don't unless you're looking for it yeah now most of the time it's a non issue but it's the most and but most pressing issue because it's it can shift the country one way or another that's what's weird about it it only gives a about that of things that actually affect them locali the thing that sets that guy off to bitch about trump or bich about hillary is he forgot to his car on street sweeping day but he never goes down to petition city council about hey this is up
stop sign was obscured your honor and i would have run this stop sign but there's a fuckin' branch in front of it and you need to cut that down and i get a ticket and i can't afford the ticket and it's the economy fuqing trump or whatever they just bring it to the highest hello one of the things that i realized by talking to people that really understand how things work like economics like talk to peter schiff yesterday the economist he busy time on my podcast really interesting guy no no i never liked he's a fun guy he like you would you could talk to his ever drunken bisbee he was drunk yeah now he's a really smart guy i mean he's a very successful guy but he's right there he's right there like when you talk to him first time we did a show we got drunk we decided to have the drinks a lighten up because he was doing this like fox news cnn thing they do where they have these five minute panels which have to rattle off to do six you have to tell the people the problem was not canonic the problem is it like he's a wizard that we had a common down
my two were here for a long time and so let's go drink let's get a drink had a little jack daniels that he loosened up but he set up a video that said i'm the one percent we ask me anything is that what you said something like that something like so occupy wall street in set up a thing it's just talking to people about economics like no no this is why you think it works this is how it really work but this is what i realized talking to people like that there's no fucking way you could be on the ball with all this stuff with congress and the senate an uh all the stuff that goes on behind the scenes of a lobbyist you would have to be fully immersed in it you have to be full emerson and then fully immersed in the stock market to have any kind of an argument one way or another and most people are just having these half asked half cocked should thought out arguments about almost everything they talk about including me me
especially on this podcast many many times but this is something that we it's standard too much shit to know there's too much fun when it comes to like politics like you and you understand politics like how long they've been trying to unravel this russia thing i assumed out completely i know i don't know and i don't care enough to try to learn i i get to a place i went through a period of video conspiracy theory days then learned a little bit but anything that i really don't know how government works so hard to know so hard to know it's i mean elementary school and yelled at i'm just well capitol hill i still don't even know what that fuckin' meant stop talking and you probably paying attention to it more than most people most people's for a minute yeah well most people the press
or anybody just represents what they like like i like a nice guy like a no bullsh it guy ok and then you just find whoever is best fits moles is it any surprise our president yeah who is the most popular yeah it's fascinating now i yeah i think if of trump was any republican that wasn't a fucking asshole but stood for the same principles there would be no outrage they hate his personality first which i'm not against you yeah yeah he's a you but he's the one you created we were just talking about i i mentioned it on stage here in again that trump makes me happy sometimes in that he's a product of everything like what's that
le veon ball that function like basketball dad oh yeah he's famous just 'cause he's a fucking asshole and he knows hey if i keep being a fucking asshole the more i'm going to get noticed an ann coulter who just says oh tom like us or the new we were just talking about you at the new job people say outrageous things just to get attention i'm sorry when i say feed the trolls and then all of a sudden you elect that role so fuck you it's all you that watch tmz this so and so said something outrageous again but it's natural instinct to do that you know i was telling you before the show ted nugent is a nice guy he's like oh really
thank god do you remember trolling his message board from your message board you troll this message board and you were you were giving instructions on how other people she trolls message board i i they were they were so like they were maggot before magna was magna like they were make america great i had a bit about it in my act about needing the draft he just show up at ted nugent concert sat scoop him up in nets i know it is submit along the why they're going to take away nascar and i i forget the bit but it was i have a message board are the now it's over yeah they even exist because what message board would troll i i i got on board with the trolling ted nugent's message and i would pass it with really i would back insult him by god hey we gotta we get a band
then get the nuge back on the airwaves it's no fair all these you know change against the machine wannabes they're getting all the airplay and when i called requested true rock and roll legend like ted new did they laugh me off the phone and it's no fair all these guys are selling out arenas and ted nugent is stuck at some state fair play beside tilt a whirl gump people so i'm like i'm pro routing people that get huge more notices but at the same time should i got him he's playing our five people at the fuckin' arkansas state fair it snow i need to answer you yet by the way i played a lot more thirty five people
that was the early days of people understanding message boards that's right i'm glad he never brought that up i have i would have been able to defend it yeah well that's dog gonna do he's my he's my friend sorry dude i think what we're talking about before that a lot of people are nice people they just that this is their act their act is say outrageous things get people to pay attention to them and then it becomes such a lousy trick though i've just like it's so fucking lazy well i think it's not all that they believe that an they also like i believe ted believes most of what he's saying but thank you also says things in an outrageous manner because that's part of his showbiz style like he's the
city madman you know he's a he's a wild i'm going to tell you like it is an he believes a lot of what he says and he makes sense about many things but then he goes you know he goes haywire with stubble with them you like or you're a nice guy like he's genuinely nice guy and as much as this is crazy said he's got his you know he believes he supporting the intelligence side of the message that you should be able to have guns if you're responsible law abiding person the part of like yeah you should be yeah but maybe you know maybe the home is just like we're talking about people running for president you don't really get the you want stance of hold person is from these campaign ads or debates or anything you just get you get this images flash thing if you got no i almost everybody's alright if you get to know him i've seen he has no reason to have his opinion but he has to be a dick just to keep himself
kill roy in in that i look at i trying to say right now it's jones would be a lie alex jones is a guy who maybe now he leaves more than he should have bought his own bullshit but he created that's what he he did his own art form and made himself ted nugent there's a guy who had two chity songs in nineteen seventy seven stranglehold is actually so i got it i got it i am desperate to stay in the spotlight he's like a kathy griffin like clawing his look at me please notice maine i'm still relevant right but they go to him for opinions man i mean there's there's a reason why you like eight times a gun control debate they go to ted nugent because he's gonna say the outrageous that that is good at it man i it's easy to write him off like that the problem is like like when he debates people about gun control he knows to actual statistics the actual statistics are confusing because you find out the
this at a gun violence debts a giant chunk of amer suicide and then there's gang violence is the other ones and then it gets down to actual gun violence and then the numbers they're they're they're what they're weird they're not what you would want him to be you want it to be cut and dry like people are using guns and crimes of passion and school shooting things and that's why there's guns need to take him off the table but man a lot of what we attributed deaths are suicides it's fucking dark how many people pulled the trigger you know and a lot of gun violence is that and then there's we're talking about chicago how crazy chicago is what was number again one thousand what was it i don't know because i i had another step that was waiting to pull up that day that was crazy to me that and not from like nineteen seventy roughly about eighty nine the murders in new york city was almost triple that it's like twenty two thousand one hundred and forty five with the highest oh yeah in the 70s new york was crazy yeah yeah there's like average about eight nine hundred i think in chicago is what it is
but there was one year that was one thousand five hundred in a year right yeah i think so yeah there's one particularly high and it's play more than dying in afghanistan way more than die in iraq you know it's in chicago and this is if for whatever reason it's it's it it barely gets our attention you know it guys like him are important for getting that message out even if he does in this up way thank you we need to look at like what this thing is like we definitely have a gun pro in this country but i don't know i don't i don't think either side is right about what it is i think we have a fucking human problem the fact that humans are just running around shooting people is the problem it's not the fact that were smart enough to figure out guns well every and me and chad shank get drunk and have one of these conversations late into the night it always boils down to overpopulation there's too much
people whatever the issue is somehow we can always boil it down yeah but there's too many fucking people well for sure it's we don't value people when the numbers are so high you supposed to you if you're close knit group of friends right that's the romantic thing when they twenty million people you can't get anywhere like la you don't value people as my i d yeah i did a a bit about that vote you love you love a kitten and if you get a pet kitten i need i'm home every day mr bimbos you make me so happy but if you came back to that same bachelor in a three hundred square feet and they were eight hundred kittens in there you couldn't kill kittens quick enough to get this get my golf shoes i'm kittens these things people are the same it's just like currency yeah that's why what you've done is a wise move by moving to a town of five thousand that's very matter
i love it i love no one my neighbors yeah it's very manageable to like what you've chosen to do is smart i don't think big city a manageable i think people just put their blinders on and they just get weird they get weird some people say well i get energy from the city like i totally get that the new york city i totally get it you walk around as a buzz just so many people it's above all eyez v dreadful to me yeah but also i just i get a buzz of anger and murder it doesn't bother me that much but it does overwhelming i i'm very cluster obeikan and the more i age the more things like it just gets worse what's also such in direct contrast to the way you live you know but i i've always yeah going out to smoke a cigarette and you can't like you're afraid you're going to burn someone 'cause you subway
your personal space it going walking that close to you try to get in the door jam just so you don't burn a fuckin' podesta with your cigarette there's no way out of like there's no way of thinning that out either it less they make it so outrageously expensive that literally just the people can't they are trying maybe that's the crazy thing is so many people want to be there and there's so many people there that they could just keep jacking the rents up and jacking the with payments up what i was saying about ted nugent saying about tom like us and a lot of these other people it's it it's really easy to write somebody off you know it's real easy to write people off i'm trying to do less of that 'cause like i'm trying to it's a point like when do you let someone when you like one you just have an recently there was some was like yeah i don't i don't like him
anymore because he now has so and so on his podcast like you had someone that there's some and in person was going out for everybody is person like that for some people it's hardcore left deal with someone i know they didn't even listen to the show but it might jordan peterson was at him is it like a ninety guy or well i got all right now the the sometimes people think years but he it's in the probably wasn't him was probably someone more controversially ben shapiro or stephen crowder when those guys with none of them are you know in jordan peterson is much more of a centrist than anything is not right he's he's like more of a he they call it a classic liberal classic liberal is you know the idea of the treaty people's individual instead of collective intent to serve a group instead of a
identifying with a group of what whatever no matter what it is people individuals and he's a big proponent of personal responsibility and treating people as individuals because of that and because of some of the things he said about there trying to enforce pronouns for transgender people ones that they made up like a bunch of them there was a bill that was a when rights violation and saying you know because they have that human rights council in canada and it was the what he who's arguing is a slippery slope you can't you can't compel people to use made up it can't just decide that you're going to make up a bunch of gender pronouns and they get people say and some people were saying there's seventy eight of them apparently that facebook accepts thank the h i r a z i r e there's like them just make them up like anybody can make money we want this that yeah thanks yeah you can so because it's kind
virtual because people said oh you're picking on trans people and he's like no i'm not now i fully support your right to be a trans person i just don't want to use these bloody made up words is what he was saying and he felt like this the slippery slope to controlling people's behavior and starts like this and a shame you into thinking there and as a group think part of it involved so because of that he got so lumped into this alt right idea that oh he's the guy who hates transgender people just like we were talking about like people running for president you don't really get to see who the real person is you get to see this surface so he's the no nonsense guy i'll take him and that's what they do with him i got he's the guy who hates transgender folks it doesn't at all if you really wanted to like you never know a candidate's true intentions if they were a good candidate if they were a crafty politician they i would go out and say whatever the fuck
yeah if it worked for trump i'll do it better and i'll say shit like that and then i'll just be lying right i've been a deporte everyone it's a holocaust three whatever they want to hear and then you go and you guys just get in and then you do the right thing yeah i was kinda hoping trump would be i i think you could manipulate his ego to a point where he you could get him to do your bidding just by saying you're getting good numbers by doing this and they left hates this so yeah you should legalize marijuana and he would the logic you just need to have his ego fed any do all the right things i think that's one is hold in his back pocket to legalize marijuana i think as we get closer to the to the election i see he makes marijuana federally legal and i think he does that the stone just raise their arms in the air and they go fug it i'm going with trump
just know how much that will change the world just that and they still won't vote yet they still won't vote i know a lot of people complained it didn't vote so well i don't i don't think i know i was i was you know i did you should be able to vote online should be vote online should be very simple should be uh when you fill out your social security card number use a face id thing from a fucking laptop you could do it on your phone and they don't do it like american idol well that's you know i think would be nice if you knew for sure and it's most people have a laptop
the camera on or a web camera somewhere they're not hard to get a u s b web camera they're cheap they're pretty cheap now in you just do that and you've vote that way that would be hard to do this did be able to come up with software that could read your face no fits you a lot of a lot of laptops even a fingerprint sensor is now you could vote online they don't want to sue they want is difficult and confusing as possible they want to keep it this convoluted mag going to take time off of work they want you to just go like this all the time like what is this we do it they don't want like smooth sale and everything sorted out everybody doing well now they want like you were so and how your town works 'cause you got left and right they want it they want to look just little you get a bait so where inside arms it safely i just just 'cause they can it's you know you're in arizona yeah so you get that dent of redneck element but it's not a it's not a trump very
is hillary and obviously in a do you have that small town there's no like black lives matter rallies but they put their people still go out and protest for yeah read for ad for of the teacher thing saying see that side on think can work in a limited amount of people you know walking around mid manhattan and bumping into people everywhere got a gun right here that's it's not going to work you know if you're your guys in arizona you just worried about some no wild drug smugglers coming across the border and shooting up first your city yeah you got to worry about that don't you do it right there it was it is it that they keep going it's they are a little bit where he's like people about they're gonna build a prison in our community and like if they escape they're not going to be hanging around it's true keep going that is true 'cause you're only like seven miles i'm sure i did that a huge injustice i'm sure i'm misquoting carlin but
to that effect but yeah you see undocumented aliens getting busted but there's no fuckin' drug war shit going on confiscate weed out of false bottom fake gas tank at the checkpoint but i know guys who have been camping on the border or camping near the border on the usa side and had run ends with people who were coming across they said he got some of them got real sketchy because that's basically the coming across like constantly all the time and you just if you're there like these guys wanna a deer hunting trap and they just said they were just running into people all the time they were looking for water they would look in its yeah they'll people leave water out yeah where they they come across wow and
like every other house in our neighborhood has humanitarian aid is never a crime 'cause you're not supposed to fucking leave water out in the desert in case someone is dying you're not supposed to they tell you not to i don't know exactly what the law is but there's placards just like every election is vote for mayor of joe and vote for bill for city council does humanitarian aid is never a crime and i don't know what the law was or what exactly but that's some dark ship and tell people don't give him water did you have you seen that video of the border patrol people just going out and dumping out water the people of left in the desert and and laughing about like you yeah you just to see the border patrol agent that ran over the guy that was a video that just came out last week
did you know that one of the reservations when the indian reservations on one of the border patrol roads guy was filming and the this coming right he's coming right at me and then it fucking hits him and then turns around and he got it on tape the guy that he actually hit drove jesus christ a assholes like a lot of people gravitate just like child molesters gravitate towards you know preschool teacher and priest suck it as holes gravitate towards cop and border anywhere they can you know look at this boom is that him standing up and now laying down after the border patrol fuckin' runs over that is crazy that is crazy i can't like i have a hard time i'll get into going
on of bad cops and fuck to gain his work troll and hit like that i mean that you are making a decision to shatter a persons body probably forever you're hitting someone that hard with with a truck a guy's got probably everything's pride broken yeah and is there a road where it's yeah like he did it on purpose yeah there's no other excuse no i did on purpose wolf yeah i am too much hate in my life where i get my eyes and sometimes i just have to ignore is that it just wait up in the morning and i get on new user and i clicked on cop throws a guide to role play class would look and as she added yeah beatings and
i you know i've said this a hundred times but it's worth repeating i don't think most people are qualified to be cops i think it's a really hard job but i think the pressure of it people up even if they did go into the job will be if they gravitate towards it because they were bullies which i'm sure a certain percentage do certain for i think for most of them is just a good job they thinking to pull it off i met a lot of cops are good guys but i think the pressure of that job and being shot out all the time and worrying every time pull somebody over going to get shot and everybody seen those videos of people pulling people over and they pull out a gun and kill the cop there's one that's haunting many guy pulls over this vietnam vet and he starts he starts screaming for the guy to get back in the car the guy pulls out a rifle and the guy just start shooting at him and he
it's hit and he's screaming just almost had to stop it stop it stop it and the guy just keep shooting the cop while all this is happening and the guys like screaming for his life on this guys just gunning him down like men tell me these cops haven't seen this they're all fuckedup and it becomes almost like a game and the game is i'm trying to score on you it's like you're doing you're playing one on one basketball are you doing jujitsu jitsu or something you try to score on somebody score on it was i think you're up to something no good let me see spread your legs when you check your body it's going on a car what do you got what's this what's that you try and if you get it all we got it score if you don't get it swing and a miss and so you go looking for things to be wrong and that person becomes the enemy just like push people on a fuckin' football field they're on the other team that's what you're doing to the people that you're supposed to be protecting and serving they become the enemy they become the thing you're trying to score on and it's just stupid monkey game start playing around people's heads and i think almost
nobody qualified for that i know of very few like big john mccarthy that ufc referee he's a cop fuckin' greatest guy ever want to meet the nicest guy but he's also a big giant dude who's not intimidate by people and he has a good way of common people down relaxing people but he's very sensitive like very normal and he was a cop's whole life is caught for many many years it's just a fucking impossible job and every day you're dealing with crime everyday you're dealing with murder you deal with people beating their wives you deal with kids that get hit by cars you're dealing with just the most horrible and we can boil this down to to many people because i live town where i know the cops same cop came to new super bowl parties in consecutive years the night before when we had a big the party on the saturday night and came for noise it's two years in a row the first time he walked in
steam levin was on stage to her act and you can hear everything in my neighborhood just speak and she's on a microphone doing a bit about my after three kids my pussy looks like it swallowed a dog that shoot its way out and i know every fucking neighbor is the least thirty houses that can hear this over there tv that's in there and the cops but that cop came twice like then i'd see him at safeway and friendly i want bingo and i had our brief break up the cop came my house i'm sitting in the fun house and i see a cop walking and i'm like oh that's fucking yanis officer bob friendly he came in he goes hey i know it's none of my business but i heard you going through a tough time and i just wanted to see if you're ok i like that is fucking cool and now he he comes over all the time and wow yeah that is
yeah that's the benefit of the five thousand yeah when you know everybody yeah this stuff not a homeless guy that's broke we have everyone knows are homeless will work for food guy by name do you think that you appreciate that more because you travel so much because you get to go back to that and this is home and home is this quiet cool place filled with artists and farmers and just weirdos and but you're always like now you're in public now you're in london now you're in san francisco now you're in you know you're moving around so much that you get a beautiful taste with everything and then this is like the quiet also i rarely go out i go to safeway every day if i don't even if i don't need anything it's vied thing i wake up and i go to safe they what what's what's good disc meet i love a bargain in the discount meats and other than that
i don't go out i don't go to bars they have a bar in my house the people i know they come over to my house and we hang out there an interesting setup man whenever i listen to your podcasts and like this is a fascinating setup but then i in life the same the comedy store which when i come back i love it and i see a i was people all in one night that i've known you the years but i don't hate anyone yeah here all the fucking i hate that fucking country thinks she's funny and she's not funny and like i would yeah i would be if i lived there if i was a regular like everyone else at the comedy store yeah then i'd have might be said i'd be political very few beef there those days that interesting but just saying like snape be back talk have talk behind your back thing i'd get into that again
now i'm really happy to see everyone i don't care if they suck i don't watch their acts anyway but that's what bisbee's like and i keep it that way where i don't go out i don't get involved in their fun petty squabbles and everyone's backs tabish it 'cause even when i am there for a long time i don't leave the house i don't go out i don't know yeah so i don't have to take sides i'm a very new i know what you're saying about avoiding conflict but honestly the comedy store these days is is almost conflict free it's weird it's so much weirder than it's ever been there before it's like this super super super sort of community it's very different uh i'll just say comedy in general is lhr well anyway maybe i should be headline in that place and they won't give me this way i don't have to deal with that but yeah and that's how i keep bisbee where i go out rarely yeah people don't believe i live
there but then i think i just have a house there that i show up to and say i live in busy would be funny would be funny if you only dress this on the show and then you immediately the shows overall i can't wait to get dressed for my golf tee off in an hour and then unlike like a polo shirt and fat rolex i only have so i suits and pajamas that's it i said i don't have a where is using some ridiculous suit guy like what year did you just give into the ridiculous suit when i got my first like really good when the one i wore i i forget what special it was i gotta think i've i've done this occasionally throughout the years and i used to wear a santa hat for a while and then again but yeah a no would dress up in just dumb sometimes just because is bored like muslim prayer robes on stage where are you getting these ridiculous i got this my neighbor evelyn found this great old plaid vintage
70s sport coat and i just happen to find a pair of yellow pants that matched it perfectly and then i get so then i'd start really looking for what when i could put a whole suit together like all right and then i realize white shoes go with everything so then i just the every all we do when we're driving on the road the only interests i have are we hit all the thrift stores and town and try to find good sushi and that's it i'll go to a fucking museum so you look for wacky close to try on yeah you don't know who's always have a closet that like that's why i do these ebay yard sales every couple of years and i sell all this suits i'm tired of 'cause my closet is fuqing buckling wow what a weird thing collect get on the mailing list have another like
you've been doing this as long as i am you get a cool poster like yeah yeah tour steering you know how i like that but as the years go on you just building up clutter in your crawl space yeah you can only have so many pictures of yourself around fans will send me artwork legs the portrayed did me and i'm like what what what i'm going to put up more pictures of me in my house but he comes over it it's just some museum love you that's why you gotta buy the house near the landing strip just turned to the doug stanhope resort well i sell that she would do ebay yard sales and yeah fan would like that yeah and their house i don't need sure to meet yeah you like a tour poster that's a good move yeah i get on the mailing list it does stand up dot com because we're doing another one in august so what do you do you do with them personally to you out there auctioning stuff off now
just put it all on ebay stand up ebay yard sale and people bid on stuff and nice yeah i it's a i don't want to throw the stuff away can't give it to the thrift store don't know once at their shows you where and a bunch of different people's clothes of live different weird lives you know about how many like the kind of clothes a year buying here buying like guys who are it was in the 70s you know like that's the kind of clothes i used to do bit about that and i don't know if i ever recorded that but about how this pole esther under hot lights you can only imagine how bad fuqing had to smell in the 70s someone was dancing all night at the studio fifty four and yeah it would sweating and then fucking in uh bathroom with all their pube zone and yeah and no deodorant was deodorant like back then was terrible
right guard aerosol that's what i grew up with member everybody thought there's going to be uh the hole in the ozone layer from hairspray yeah cancer is going to put a hole in the ozone layer like apparently there's a big hole above australia australia is it bad like there's also skin cancer add to sauce on shore and the different right very rapidly in australia now yeah i think there's a whole over there do they have remember that was that there it is right over australia is a god damn hole the image of the largest antarctic ozone hole ever recorded over the s pole september two thousand and six layers of the atmosphere not to scale the ozone layer is mainly found in the lower portion of the stratosphere from approximately twenty to thirty kilometres ozone depletion so there's a whole yeah if the whole world was underneath that whole we'd have some fuckin' real problems you play australia yeah yeah i've been i haven't been in awhile though last time i did melbourne how
a great time how do they make you say it melvin melvin i like sydney done sitting there too can i speak for lights fantastic yeah yeah that's that's my favorite and i did out hobart tasmania which is weird wow tasmania i read that i i just did a couple weeks there in april and i've read it's it's called the fatal shore and it's a seven hundred page story of australia and it's fucking brutal it's crazy it's absolutely brutal from the time they our did shipping the the preserve residents there now for nothing and there they didn't shackles and dying price chillin staring in halls they sit in boats for months waiting to be shipped to a camp
it's just brutal after brutal and then a flogging until the skin fell off his back and then and then you do interview where they're going oh people need comedy in these times 'cause they're worse than ever i go if you read your fucking history trump is not the worst thing ever when you look at your own fucking history they did some dark shift to the aborigines two oh yeah one of the things they did they took a aborigine kids away from their parents they tried to raise them with white families they did it the nineteen fifties i think they were telling me about it when i was there on a house it was one of them josh jobber conversations where people are talking about what they stole people's babies and raise them as white kids because they didn't think the aborigines knew what they were doing so they decide you know how to raise a kid give me that kid is kind of like the foster system well no
because they took on it's not like the foster system the idea would be that someone would either have to go to jail or someone would be murdered or don't have where they know you're an unfit parent and be out sometimes right i guess that does happen right if someone's a a drug addict or criminal that they'll take you could win put in foster care but this is just taking your kid away because you're an aborigine why which if if their society thinks that's a bad way what's wrong with a drug addict i know drug addicts that can do a lot of stuff functionally some of 'em yeah it is levels that there's levels to drug addict you know sort of the aborigines they have hundreds of languages they speak different language you'll be in what they call a mob they call themselves mobs like a tribe it's a mob and you have a mob but there will be another mod that's thirty kalama way and they speak a totally different language you don't know what the fuck they're saying there's another one over there and most of its not even written down there's hundreds and hundreds of 'em
they're all over the i mean it's it's an amazing strange culture like the the culture of the average she's australian my friend adam adam greentree he runs a mining company in australia and he works with a lot of the aboriginal people that get get some jobs and gets to understand their culture and talk to me she told me some just insane shit about how these people have lived and they've been there however you know they've been there for a long time all living in these little tribes these little mobs it's crazy i would have no structures when they first showed up yeah over there the aborigines were basically packs and the yeah yeah basically cut and burn yeah they did the uh huh as much as they could in an area and they didn't have
moses they had no like did just move on yeah yeah and they were living you know like essentially like how native americans were maybe one thousand four hundred and fifteen hunters probably even more simply right i mean i wonder it would just their devices and what that's why they wouldn't with new zealand because the the mallory however you pronounce than the maori people with their bad yeah were somewhat fortified i i guess i i it retains so little i have read the book and i have two days later i have like three facts that i'd probably have two of them wrong but yeah on terra side of the fucking everybody scared of the mallary's everybody scared of it
just new zealand people are very fierce they're fierce people it's just it's crazy to think that those two places particular australia was a prison colony essentially for you for england i mean that's that they treated it it was it when it was slavery is what was it was white slavery because they they're the whole idea was to make these prisoners build this into a a country country meanwhile the crazy thing is the weather is way better than england i know only fuckin' england would use the beautiful place as a fucking penal colony i can't wait to get back to fucking shropshire ham by the sea where it's fucking forty eight degrees in gloomy and shity gloomy at everybody just sour and hour meanwhile
you're not only clueless to write a really a jump in the water yeah i have a martini on the beach the weather is perfect yeah but at the same token back then there was no fun in plumbing and it was hard to find clean water to drink it's true everything i think of you and everything kills you including jellyfish that's what's the most fuckedup goddamm jellyfish kill ya saltwater crocodiles are everywhere they just captured one before forever can you fifteen feet long thirteen sounds oh there are always catching sharks sharks all over the place the outside water is just surrounded with great whites oh no sharks saw what i was gonna kill you spiders brown they'll nail you all these different things but the people are cool as there are some
racist his flock to those who do that like i would really yeah i would i would say yeah you're bunch of racist and they'd cheer whoa whoa look at the size that crocodile the captured what in the man it's sixty years old how many people if that thing eat and that things eating at least all their shoes in that belly oh yeah oh a friend of mine film this show it's called uncharted and his name is jim shockey and this is a professional hunter from canada they hired him to go to africa to shoot these crocodiles that were killing all these people that lived in this village while they were there someone got snatched and can buy a crocodile and like so you see in everyone in the village is missing an arm or they have a chunk taken out of their head or chunk taken out of their thigh like this is nuts like these
people are always in fear of getting eaten everywhere they go to free of getting eaten by these enormous nile crocodiles you know one thousand three hundred and fourteen feet long just grabbing people and pull him underwater i really want to go to the out they have a train their two trains a once called the gan that goes from adelaide all the way up to darwin and then they have another that goes all the way from perth to sydney and i really want to just do a train trip 'cause in the middle there's a coober peedy is uh mining town where like most of the town is underground because it gets that hot it's one hundred and twenty degrees so they built the town underground at yeah i want to go see some weird are sydney is vancouver right right right right yeah it's not the weird shit and you could drive for hours and hours and not see nothing in australia with a lot of these guys
they get those snorkels on their cars and it's not for going underwater it's just 'cause the amount of dirt you have to drive oh you want to have the utes yeah you want to have a you have a snorkel like high above your car so that you're getting cleaner air now we all have extended gas tanks they get these giant gas tanks put on 'cause they know they're going to be driving for one thousand five hundred and sixteen hours without seeing a gas station the fuck man that's why i thought the train yeah no it's a weird place man australia well the last weird places there's twenty million people in the entire country and it's the same size as the contiguous united states of dirt it's all it is only twenty million people less than live in la live in this one huge country i love it it's like a small town but a country that you know like the same proportion and it's all darwin is the only one i want to go to that's north and really tropical
where do i go to that one just as sounds a weird place to go to go to the galapagos our window of his research the glop agos islands of some of his research foods compiling his theories on evolution but it's apparently some crazy tropical island that's trying so hard to keep it from being touched and influenced by people but every time people go over that you have to clean off their shoes yeah it's like the don't step off the track that what stuff can go back in time butterfly effect yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah people are i mean everywhere but that isn't that how life got read all across the good the world i mean i know we should do it on purpose and foolishly with them in a lot of how life got spread is just things picking things up and carry them in their share and drop him off there in this germs and steel yeah i mean that's really how everything gets spread
we're just doing it on a larger scale 'cause we use planes and boats and like hawaii everything on hawaii something somebody brought over everything like there's like some birds that used to live there and some bugs you know and everything else all the different wild by all the animals so just been brought over there still there were just going to hawaii and here in white people bitch about the tourists why people that live there yeah oh yeah that's funny how it did tourism is destroying the ecosystem like who the fuck are you yeah that's silly and what would you do without the tourists yeah you should think roseanne's going to actually fucking make money off a macadamia nut farm i think she's going to be outselling fuckin' nuts somewhere she'd ever she never shipped i think i told you she let me again it goes i'm ready to do rogue and we've been going back and forth right now she says she's going to do her own
i'd she's we're going to do it it's just going to take time know i when i told her i you she said but she a contact me the day says i'm ready to do whatever you are i said you just tell me when and will do it and then we're trying to figure out even in salt lake city and i'm on the other sounds yeah there was a little bit of that and then she just trying to figure out when is the right time but she said she wants to do her own youtube channel and she's she's upset everybody and i felt like you know she is a lot of american what she's saying you know it i really do think she got fucked over i think i really do she made a joke about a woman that she didn't know was black and a woman who's i think she's only one eighth black so yeah i saw the picture and i like oh i get it now she does not talk to her on the phone afterwards where she goes she was asking me for advice into that i i really fuckedup and i honestly didn't think she was black and then she goes
did you ever do ambient i go that's exactly why i stopped doing ambient and i'm sure that's why she tweeted that where i like to talk about this on rogan because rogan spends time you can explain stuff stop fucking tweeting tweet where she goes out i did take an ambien light yeah you drink on ambien and your you're and i can are you a million stories of normal people like you know judy brown her husband steve marmel almost had a plane grounded 'cause he honor flight he took an ambien and had a couple of bourbons and just started going fuckin' batch it has no recollection of it and i've done stuff that was like minor where i just had a very lucid business conversation with hannigan after i'd taken and be in on my late night of drinking for me which six or seven beers and i went to bed and then i get got up fifth
ten minutes later and went out and had this lucid business conversation that i don't number at all and i brought it up to him the next day something we were going to talk about he goes we talked about this last night yeah i guess you came out yes but you came out shortly after you seemed very like completely normal while kevin james he made dinner he went downstairs made his own dinner cooked it ate it went back to bed got up in the morning and was like who fought cooked and then there like you did is like no i didn't it was a no yeah you did look here he threw this away like you you cook this like what the you brother your remember my ex renee her brother and his buddy took some ambience had the minor amounts of cocktails woke up on
lawn in a neighborhood they didn't know where they were jesus and that's where it was that one who said business conversation where you go that could have been me dry i my car into someone's front porch yeah so yeah i i swore it off my mom said that she took it and booze just took the ambien and wanda but drawing on a bathroom carpet in the little bathroom rug just drawing i would like lipstick and and nail polish doesn't have any recollection doing it just drawing on it like a little kid would with a pull up the nail polish just start that's so weird it's called a hypnotic that's what they call that that category of drugs the other thing roseanne is like she what she's got serious mental ill
yeah she's on a bunch of different medications well she's got legit multiple personality disorder she's talked about it and i don't think they call it multiple personality disorder anymore i think they have a new name for it but since the noise they'll re branding fuckin' mental illnesses like come on man it's like this is what it is as it is multiple personality disorder which is a bunch of different people and you know if you talk to people been around her and see or switch from personality personality you realize like oh and you know a lot of this also came from head trauma she's one of several comedians that became a different person because the head trauma i think she was hit by a car as well sam kennison same thing hit by a car had also vocs in a car accident i don't i don't know if it was child molestation or room yeah those that to rape dis associative identity disorder that's what they're calling it now and she still can't fucking tell the difference between
for anna green room because if every a single comic like was recorded the dark that we say in green rooms because we're comics and we say the worst possible thing this mess and make each other laugh yes i did because you go to darkest areas in you say all the wrong words and your your you say that most race this thing to your black comic friend and he says the fund worst thing to you about your fucking ugly fucking teeth or your fat your yeah stupid and if she walked into the green room and said that about that lady we would be laughing right would be laughing specially if we stick with who she was and then i didn't know she was saying something racist you look at the picture and go i don't get it i had no understanding of who that woman was i never had heard of her before until roseanne got fired and i was like who is this lady in
and she said she said the muslim brotherhood and then roseanne said that she thought she was jewish i was like if you look at anything she was black i thought she was jewish and i'm like i looked at the picture i go alright well yeah the fuqing that's a that's not a cut and i won if you read two years roseanne's tweets that would not be the one it stood she just says an insane stuff that makes no sense all the time what did she say that susan rice she said she was a great big up ahead a bit a big ape with no a man she's a man with giant swinging eight balls this is like five year you go and then five years later they give that said calmly can't believe she's acting crazy i completely fault abc b a cash cow that no
chicken handler hey we can make lot of money by giving a toddler a pistol you know she said she felt like she has her mom is not to what she self she felt like she was being removed from the creative process too well it was a bunch of things going on even before this and that this was like that one of the final steps but that they were she was having a hard time with the whole process and she was definitely having a hard time with being overworked she's like i'm go in and push out about the illuminati and zionism what maybe we should get you out of the writers room will not wouldn't be a bad idea to do an episode about her thinking that everything is the illuminati and that's fucking gold comedy there there's so much there i had explained to her chem trails but the thing is different than anybody that ever talked to about these kind of wacky conspiracy theories when i explained to her what it what how those clouds are made oh ok just let it go like most of 'em don't fucking let it go if you tell them that
you see those planes there sprang overhead to go no notes that the heat of the engine the condensation the atmosphere is actually creating a clout it's just the water vapor and and and mixes with the speed of this engine it makes clouds that's it roseanne just goes ok like just let it go everybody else is like bullshit man this fucking documents there's papers in cis admitted it it's one of the hardest things in the world when you get a stupid conspiracy theory in your head at one of the hardest things in the world is to just go home that might be bullshit what's your what's your latest favorite conspiracy theory i've dropped off the map the favorite one that i believe in yeah or man i don't have a good one that i believe in
new ones that people always there's always new ones everything everything is the god dam conspiracy this is like constantly everything that everybody does what's a good one jamie what's a good recent conspiracy theory the russia stuff but i can't but i can't make heads or tails this russia i every time i read them your documents on the read and what's been reported in who's getting indicted and i'm like this is too much i yeah i i i this is too much shouldn't out early just ask for a hundred blank indictments yesterday your dead yeah oh my god oh my god a hundred with the arrest trop a little under arrest him that's part of what the the whole thing with the judges on on right now dude court judge well somebody was explaining the relationship that the judge has the judge you step down has to trump is his son is trumps banker from deutsche bank
it's who that's too much occasionally i'll look in ok of trump and kim jong il and dennis rodman already in together in ibiza singapore this is a new all the newest one is the new fake melania trump thinks the new body double the milani it's not going to church anymore we called alex jones who he would yell at us about it is it true what does it say two hours ago this ok you renew pics of melania trump reignite conspiracy theories conspiracy theory she's using a body double ok what are the pictures this is supposed to be her and two thousand and seventeen ok
what website is this by the way i don't know the card like a you go i don't know you know i mean the check i click the first i just went to the first one that was just posted that what are the pictures download that's ones what they're supposed to look weird i think if you scroll lower video i think we have an answer to why millennium is missing so much lately look closely oh only in this that does not look like a only in this presidency would this be something that we would think about only this is the only where like man i didn't even his wife these are the god dam body double like what are they going to believe him he's going to get a double he's going to get uh double is just going to give her money to stay in that it could just go
yeah i do that i hooked up with this chick on tinder and like what's going to happen like at what point of people going to stop being completely be puddle that he said something stupid and stormy daniels got arrested yeah that's that's that's some simple shit sues an undercover cop well she was touched on the cover crop or she allowed the undercover cop to touch her i believe that but what i read from her attorney last night on twitter is that should this is the same show or whatever a performance has been doing all over the country it's like it's what she does right she was going to do it so it's almost a set up for some if she wasn't blown a guy in a you know the the champagne room or something i was at the when you read the law it said the law how was that you can
touch someone in adult establishment unless it's a family member that's the fucking law whoa so like you walked over to jamie and rub his back you go to jail at least we're related we haven't done a twenty three employee who regularly appears nude or semi nude in a sexually oriented businesses prohibited from touching patrons except for family members so yeah that's oh there goes the charges were dismissed according to court documents so let's make it more news she was arrested i wonder if it was like rogue cop who's like a truck fan look foodies brooch absolutely do it for donald yeah yeah you can absolutely well that's like
that's not a well thought well we'll plan by the white house that's a that's a plan by one yahoo with a with a a three different magma hats at home you know on the well torn in issue yeah this page i think she's going to take down potus it's my favorite when they were they call in potus you know like they like with potus did this like he did this it's trump that's trump we gotta stop it yeah that's low that's one syllable not only that it's like this is what got us here in the first place daniels remove what ok in probation affadavit obtained by cnn detectives who are at the sirens gentlemans club said they observed daniels remove her top enforce patrons face intern chest for yeah well she's a monster for this not like she did that to a trained killer with a gun this dude took up
even a it a regular guy who makes guy who makes his living stopping crime and the fall and he's a vice cop but he can't even stop to plunge like she forced him in there there's nothing you could do about it was basically rape nothing he could do he couldn't go hey stop another me too when officers witnessed those activities three detective approach to stage daniels allegedly made her way twords the two detectives leaned over and grab their faces she shoved each of their faces between her breasts court documents said come on the locked up as the officers face with her breasts they they i can't believe that she found a third officers buttocks and breasts according to the document and then of the offices head between her breasts and smacked the officers face with her breasts imagine arresting somebody for that you in lazy civil servant leach you leech
you will each there's there's money that could have gone to schools as money could have gone to fix streets i could have gone to all sorts of good things in the community but you leeched it you fucking snail just creeped over got that lady to touch you and arrested her well they do get six thousand dollars bail yeah but she's the charges dismiss doesn't she get that money back i think so yeah it's ridiculous it's fucking ridiculous that's the thing we were saying but this is cops saw some of them are awesome some of them are awesome and it get a certain small percentage of him that ruin it for everybody it doesn't even have to be one percent of one percent the cops out there shooting kids i mean it's less than that because it's less than it's not even every day right a cop doing something fuckedup as usual once a week i think i can millions of interactions these cops have with people i mean every day something is going wrong
all over the country somewhat pulling someone over as a gun someone's pulling something or someone over there hasn't expired license or stolen property or they're just constantly dealing with it's amazing i i think there is little they do there's an argument and hate the cop should live in the community yes he's policing yes yes what yeah the well certainly is otherwise you're an outsider right and that was how they used to be like the cops if you were in a you know new jersey in the 1970s the cop that was patrolling your neighborhood lived in the neighborhood yeah we all knew him by name yeah we need some bob friendly i like cop friend in bisbee told this story about where you had to do a welfare check in a house and he's forced entry and he's yelling these were just here to do it welfare check hello as some older guy that could have been dead and he's expecting to
to to find a corpse when no ones answering and he gets up the staircase and he gets halfway around and his guy with half dementia holding afucking of forty five on him and he has to make that split second decision to draw his gun and shoot and he just ducked the other way hey we're just here to make sure your ok and he was like that close to taking a fucking bully and they had just trying to make sure a neighbor is dead and yeah yeah ok i i understand where it's getting some fucking hairy predicaments yeah where he shot this fucking old guy could you imagine shoot an old guy in his house 'cause he thinks he's protecting his house from burglars and you're just there to check to see if he's all right you want to shoot him in the head and you know there's just
the amount of days in a year and the amount of interaction they're going to have with violence it's just too much for most people's brains almost everybody's brain it's almost like being on the front lines for twenty years especially if you're in you know detroit or south side of chicago or somewhere terrible neighborhood with the deal with crime all time camden some like that a the thin blue line where officers protect their own fucking apples yeah you only need to see you one fucking whole run of you too bad cop videos what is that there's people that are protecting those cops yep so yeah you get a give up your weak links what is
the documentary jamie the seven five is that what it is is that what it's called for sure 75th precinct did you ever see that i'm michael dowd is a documentary about the crooked cops in new york ny should is it good yeah that was really holyshit is it good and you realize how crazy it got they're just running things selling drugs and planning to do hits on people like whoa is it really fuck that's a good documentary nicked apollo turn me on to that that's a good god dam documentary i thought they only did stand up comedy on netflix now they have a lot of god damn documentaries if you seen the the wild wild or what is it now the wild wild country because you know i haven't seen that i just got back on netflix i've been done out of the country for four months basically but a just watched the evil gene
yes about the house on the pizza bomber yeah four parter yeah it's really it's really good at it is the eight it didn't need to be for or parts every documentary you watch could have been a third shorter yeah but yeah what the guy with the neck bomb yeah and it's head blows off they sent him into a bank and they still don't really know if he was in aldori wasn't involved but is it really good documentary yeah so what's the wild wild wild wild country is about a sex cult that took over a town in oregon oh that's why i was looking for that that's the one i was looking for but i know is the bhagwan shree one yeah like i don't like to search bagua
how do i wouldn't even know how to spell that i wouldn't even know how to spell that enough for google to correct it did you know about this whole thing before the documentary series came out got it i never heard about it not in depth and i've heard it's a fucking brilliant documentary but i didn't know the name it it's i just said bhagwan shree rajneesh then is pretty amazing i just called osha which is what they call them later right but it's uh i didn't know it happened i'd never i had never heard that this was a thing that there was a whole town that gotten taken over by this wacky call i never heard a peep about it so when they documentary series came out this is all i when was this a i remember when it was happening do you yeah that's how i remember the name but i didn't know the details no the the criminal element of it i just looks like that the the
and something moon yes movies yeah the moonies yeah i just remembered existed i don't know anything about wasn't that steve hansen guy the guy that's the cult expert isn't that what he was wasn't he in the moonies what he wound up leaving was that what it was they found him when he was in college and recruit there's a guy who is a he's an anti cold educator and he was in one he got roped into one when he was in college well he's a he's jewish unification church unification church which is at moonies expense huh what is it sir it says any founded x men angst
it might be yeah i think it was the moonies i think the unification church is song on the moon's church see if that's true um is it yeah so he was he was roped up with them when he was in college and he got rescued who rescued him so his family on my phone if you get the whole story but wonder if alex jones ever does that hey look that up is that true no it's not all right now i don't think he does you can't believe that fake does i just can't believe i never heard about that whole story until it went down or until the documentary series went down i never heard that story i just i did it's almost like i was living in an alternative universe like how do i slip this they took over a whole town how this is when i was a grown
adult this is in the late 80s like how the fuck did i not know about this well this is fucking scientology did with clear water basically did they well i don't know if they took over the town but they close yeah close but these people took over and these mormons in salt lake how did i not hear about this when you see it you realize the scope of it when you see the old home movies you realize like oh like they made a whole town they took this whole they had this ranch and they said they couldn't have the ranch they couldn't turn it into this town they couldn't develop on it the way they wanted too 'cause they were recognizing that these people were becoming like you know it's a giant cult that was next door and all these people are moving in and so they said oh really ok well just stop buying the houses in this town and knocking on everybody's door
so how much do you sell your house for this tiny little house or tiny little town so just like a bisbee type place they started buying everybody's house and then they start shipping in homeless people they shipped in homeless people and took care of them so the homeless people would vote dude the whole thing is they let anybody join just get on a bus you can join and they drove him out there to utah and they create like isn't our people oregon thousands of thousands of people and they took these people and the they made they made a part of the community and they use them for voting and they took over this town it's crazy man when you're watching you just like how is this not mainstream news that this how is i like jonestown massacre it it seems almost more impressive less people died but i don't know the the the the dark element of that that's what i don't remember i know that we they did some fun yeah i don't want to give it away you gotta watch it don't don't give it away it doesn't want to watch it fucking amazing
and what's amazing is they got so much footage that you could see with these guys were like like carrying machine guns they took over the police force they call it the piece for us but they're all got and semi automatic rifles and share there was a warren jeffs in what's it yeah i was a cook colorado sitting that's utah it's so that there is only utah border yeah he's a mormon right he's the yeah he was radical polymerization now but he's still running things from prison and that the family still somewhat the what did they get him on they get him on polygamy child he had a fucking like a sixteen year old white one of his wives it used to be of child rape wolf that there's a a good documentary about that so false profits something profit over do you know that that's the whole reason why mitt romneys families from mexico did you know that no mitt romney's family moved to mexico back when they made
polygamy illegal in utah yeah here what is this an exclusive look inside the compound warns jeff shared with seventy nine sister wives he was hashtag ballen seventy nine had homeboy at seventy nine wives and they're all ugly as fun so you gotta roll hot bench is not always accurate i think it was a hot one uhm they got out she's in the documentary yeah the mitt romney clan they moved to max go when they started putting all these restrictions on them the united states no please you may notice that there was a fault the parents of super super mormons they were polygamist yet while they were in the ones that left and went to mexico they were from whether they were still polygamists when they were his parents no but when they initially established that sect they moved to mexico specifically to avoid the laws of the united states and there's
a lot them there's more than one family there and have to fight off the cartel if there was a vice piece on it fucking crazy man these people they've they're they're armed to the ted's wandering around their compound they got fucking barbed wire fences everywhere and they're worried about the cartel coming in and they get kidnapped and they pay ransom and everybody knows have money it's fucking crazy man that's mitt romney's parents polygamists versus the cartel food yeah i forget the name of the vice piece just meet mitt romney's mexican mormon family drug cartels verse mormons seven part series yeah that's what it's called there it is it's fucking wild so they go over mexico and hang out with these people you go to mexico they have this enormous mormon community in mexico fortified
someone was telling me about you have some viral piece snapping on the immigration and it will take away their baby from their parents yeah it was just me and duncan talking on a podcast about how crazy the people like up should broke the law something about trying to get rid of the fuckin' any if you believe that's okay don't follow me don't listen to me well i said you you she is not on the team like the team of humans like a we're going to act as a country you know the thought is we're going to act as a country got all think we're going to help each other we're going to support each other we're going to look for the value as of community from these team members that are on this team together but if someone's like should broke the law oh she's losing her kid should have broke the law like how to fucking gonna let something like that on a team
but this is yeah well into the with the way it was described to me last night was that you were telling a lot of your fan base to off and i don't know if you're getting what i'm getting is a lot of in mega fuckin' type heads like our like you yeah yeah and i i said it on stage last night that the same way people can be a fan at a buzzword without hearing the whole bit because you said you're retard or something that they just completely tuned out and walk out without hearing the context of the whole piece of material the same way people can become attracted to you because you said yo it ju right right right right without hearing the context of the bit and like i'm having to force people like i don't
but you as a fan i have enough fans i love my little niche base and you can go away and like the liberty periods i have to distance myself from them because that was all is a split of you know civil libertarians and yeah legalize drugs and that versus snake handling home schooling christian types that don't want the government involved in them raising free kids right right right but now it's like it seems like all the in parts are now just anti trump like we have to vote democrat and the bad parts of the libertarians or the whole now where i'm not a fun i lean libertarian not the party but the ethic i leaned that way but i'm not calling itself a libertarian anymore 'cause it's a bunch of fuckin' nazis not all of them
but i'm saying a lot of people have it did it's become yeah i think the good parts have left but i think there's just a problem with groups whenever you have groups you're going to have the fringe and when you have the fringe but it's a french stupid or the fringe radical right or the fringe radical left they sorted define the group and they taint and if you have a group that anybody can join like do you have libertarian ideas yes i do i support a lot of libertarian philosophy good become a libertarian you'll be with us you know but there's you know dave smith at all from legion scan my mayor different guy dave smith from new york coming from new york so legitimate libertarian i think i just did a podcast with him i'm sure he did you do this banks in legion of skanks yeah but i think it was without big don't know
it was as i was promoting my book so i was doing like eighteen things in a day and drinking the whole time thank you i'm a little loose on the details yeah i know those kind of podcast i think there's a it's uh it's that's a legitimate like this podcast where i go you know what i'm not going to fucking smoke in his studio this time and i'm not going to drink it's working here i am but the smoke things working it's not bad at all in there right it's pretty good it's way better than it would be if there was no no fan thing but the fuck were we just talking about david smith davis with terrence yeah but the problem is just being in groups man you know like you identifying as of right wing identifying as a left wing i don't i thought so many people that identify he's just grab those ideas usually one idea yeah
immigration yeah i'm against it so i'm right wing the rest of your day your portion pro of pro choice you have to be left wing like there's the right wing people to go choice to get attacked it's one of those weird things where i think racism will stop them overturning roe versus wade racism will yeah here against abortions but not for all these mexicans having all these kids i might be the only way right i wish i is frankie boyle show and i was saying that that's the only way that trump would overturn gun control put in gun control laws is because school shootings are the only time he's not on cnn it takes like thirty p
the die in a school yard before c stops talking about him for a minute steals air time we got a brand the band these assault rifles 'cause i'm not getting airtime they're talking about these dead kids get me back on tv even if they had a sorry about a school shooting they would have russia scrolling across the bottom the scrolling across the bottom is like the ultimate insult to your attention span so like i know you can't pay attention to just what's on the screen stupid so i want to give you some extra data how about the stock market i leave for you up here you know how much money you're losing constantly and then follow this ticker tape of sadness and despair below you even the stocks no i mean i have a business manager and some of its invested some different things but i don't pay attention to it i i got i get some stocks where friend of mine talked me into and i get it like every cup
months my stockbroker cost dog it's stevia for i want to make some moves and like last time i actually wrote down he'll just start spewing this jargon where i put him on speaker phone in the van when we're on the road so everyone can hear his age as i go do you fist pump are you on top of a desk like wolf of wall street fist pumping as you're selling me this bullshit 'cause i have no idea what you're talking about but i i i i i it's phone late i i i get stocks like i thinking like initially it was like in everything terrible like philip morris and craft and because i can i can the craft be by i love kraft macaroni cheese could that be my stock i go yeah you could look it up in the u s a today to see if it went up or down yeah that that's tobacco money i mean you smoke cigarettes you should be allowed to invest
tobacco store well if i own that anymore i was i did pfizer stock and it's a good one to buy ghagra crab macaroni and cheese and buckets cigarettes sure just the stock market itself like just trying to pay attention to that too on top of all the other ship you're supposed to be paying attention to supposed to be paying attention to stocks and bonds up and down yeah i i use the stopped paying attention because i'd get these calls were is moving it into this and i don't know and then i have to look up for fits up or down in a i don't know if you should be working on your act if you're you're working on a year if you can do your podcast you you working on your act to get ready go on the road going of your material how much time do you have to pay attention to the stock market and really know what you're investing and really doing the research on the console i felt of course well
it's crazy i get a a a a get reports and i see if this this number is higher than this number this is no time douglas there's no time you gonna you know what we did for you there there's no time 'cause you do a lot of shit and you're very ambitious too and uh do an almost pathological extent where i have all the second time in the world and i'm always riddled with anxiety i can't i do nothing but i can't enjoy it it's not i'm relaxed like this self be doing all the time to where i am paralyzed in bed because i don't know what it is they should be doing i know there's something well i think if you do more things that feeling goes away to do we do things that you're like really tuned into things that are like require your attention
then the anxiety of not doing things goes away then it just becomes a matter is they are doing things yeah i want to enjoy doing nothing like i told you after this week by the time this airs it'll be monday and i will be retired and i do this as often as i can every few years i quit comedy in my mind where i just i have nothing on the books i have no dates booked now i don't have an act i have we used this act in every english speaking place that i've done you know all the u and now i've done everything international i've done fucking expats in vietnam heard this fucking act and i have to start from scratch and that's that we talked about a new hour ruthless so i want to have that moment in mentally where i can do
anything in the world right now i could just i'd off i could write another book or i could but as i am i've no commitment yeah i just have that and i still won't enjoy it 'cause i'll just that their anxiety feel to i should do something while we're always looking for a break we're always looking for that moment of relaxation the moment i just but sometimes your brain is wired that means having nothing like i don't want to have a gig books i can hear from now so when so when you do that do you feel good you've done it a few times defeated i i can make it a few months it's i i'm not i'm not a person who needs to be on stage where i i can do not do that but i have to do the board know i drink too much
because i have no reason not to hey sure motions at eleven well that's not going to stop we've written two books now yeah do you write books during those periods but despite item during normal times i wrote those two books go i agreed to and cash the check first then you have to write the book i'm not a guy who does things on spec hey this is a great idea for a tv show let me write it up and shop it around now yeah i get the check first or i signed the contract first or i agree to do the gig first and then go fuck i'm going to have to have a new hour before i do that tour and then i start writing but again i i have minimal needs by paid for and i don't have kids i'm not not in a pickle like you now you've done it really well as far
is how to manage your time management time and manage your freedom you got it in a good place he been very smart with money too he didn't do anything stupid and get drawn out you know now live low yeah just slip smart by thrift store close live in a small town it's it's a good way to do it man i mean the i think what i that i don't have right now is the balance between and the large numbers of people the pressure and then did more downtime i guess i feel like i don't have enough downtime and then i just think as a i just as a person is paying attention when my brain works i'm like this is not that healthy i can do too many things like i should have less things to do it was so much fun to watch you at that what's it that show you did does stand up off the top of your head don't stand up on the spot
stand up on the spot yeah yeah it's really fun come on up and yeah and i saw you do that the last time i was in town and it was fucking brilliant i go that was just you riffing that that's not 'cause you were talking about yeah i only have like ten minutes hi i'm trying to the new act that i only have like ten minutes good material and then i watched you do ten minutes off the fucking top your head that was brilliant but it was really i need to see you in that back bar going yeah but i got to be fuct up to do it different drinks you kind of have to be i've done that show sober you want to be super high in at least two drinks in that's what you want you want to be lit you don't want to be too lit because then you go down a dumb path that doesn't really work like you want to be lit enough that you're your lubed yeah you're lube but you're still still moving good you still like
okay here's what's wrong with that whom and then you go let's just start talking and waiting for the funny words to come out no pause yeah i don't think about what you think should disregard to not get just exercise those weird improvisational muscles you know but it doesn't always work my last was not good i did one like a month and a half ago or two months ago was last one it wasn't good i got nothing out of it sometimes just get nothing do you record yeah always yeah yeah that you get you'll get these gems out of the that show where you like oh jesus is my next five minutes i've got it's right there i know where this goes this is going to go to that and go to go to this and i can tie it all together you'll and i record but it to get to that jen if i just did you know an hour and forty minutes hammered and there was three things usually well bingo to be on the road with me and she would sit in the back with a yellow legal pad and she knows my act so if i come up with something new show
write that down in the next day in the van go oh you said this he said there's i that's great and you don't have to city your self and cranes for what i know once dude here's the thing listen yourself and cringing is good for the apple i know it's the best thing yeah it's the you can do and but at but at the same time it myself so much that it's disheartening where is that what i sound like i shouldn't do this i fucking suck familiarity breeds contempt and when it's you self too if you're going to be worth a fuck you're going to be hypercritical of yourself it's just a fact so you're watching or listening to yourself just like shut shut the fuck that's the word yeah i heckle myself alone listening to myself and drop box and i like just get to the fucking point looking myself what do you record with you record with kaley records
use an mp three player size does deserve did little unit that we have word on the did we just bring to mike's to podcast on that little thing though what does loom yeah yeah there's room yeah that'll be that i do it on my phone just so i have am there all the time and then i listen to him on my way home i have a ritual to set on the way home unless i don't have to like i i do set i'm like that was just textbook that was by the book on autopilot that one yeah but if there was some new bit or one of those end up on the spot shows i listen to it all the way home and the i get home then i'll break out the laptop then i'll start writing just like my car i got the spark going let's see what that comes out of this and i just feel like a lot of it is just throwing shit against the wall until something sticks and if you out there throwing shit it's not going to stick yeah but while you're doing it i can't believe i'm throwing all the shit but then
a lot of times when when you get so bored with a bit you know like that this like any special i probably have three far all right this is i have to do these three bits but then very tired of him and then i just start fucking around with it and just to make it interesting for maine and that's a lot of the times where you find oh this this works yeah sometimes works better right yeah sometimes you i mean com it's one of those weird things you have to do in front of people you can you can write and you think you can get seeds but you got a plant those seeds in the dirt of the crowd as the old is only way it's the only way i can cut it occasionally i'll come up with a bit and it's done when i come up like i know i know the premise i have this that we got the punchline boom it's done and you could bring it to the stage never changes but that's like one out of one hundred bits maybe right yeah uh
this was my first show in the states since march i started se asia and australia and canada and then uk and i go i know are these tags are going to fucking work if i ever get back to the states yeah this is this is not getting what it should get but it's also and there was other its last night was my first show in the states where i'm really excited to see it usually it's the opposite where i go i don't know if maybe this is going to work in fuckin' europe right now it's like i can't wait to see what works like what people will get offended at that they're never they don't give a fuck in australia right it's never too brutal there but that you have with the seismic shift in the politike in social landscape now really
i've seismic right yeah yeah but i'd my audience is pretty much immune to that yeah you can't talk about this anymore i can my fault forces your audience it reinforces your relationship with the audience 'cause they know will doug will give us the real deal he'll give us real comedy more scared to do real comedy right now real comedy is requires occasionally requires a fence you can have i don't i don't i don't have a sponsor or a network that can do sanction me they will fire you for anything now it's the weirdest time ever getting fired people getting fired for things that don't make any sense i'm not pop dealer enough to get protested or have he try to lean on the venue yeah yeah i think it will be good for me well
jamie is it you that said that kanye west that people call calling the the area at the time we live in cancel culture this cancel this is cancel culture that everybody is just looking at cats to also cancel roseanne barr cancer that batch i was talking to you about at the same time i have to thank watch how i phrase things because i don't want that can not see element right i mean i yeah right i'm yeah talking in hyperbole yeah they're not but a lot of people that are for kids i don't want that group i i'm not like anti me two by any means that although i do make jokes about it and then rape material and i have but you it's almost like the flood me too movement has pushed the fuckin' mega people into my court like hey
here that's funny yeah it's a it's a funny time it's a time of great communication for good or for bad and probably for but there's more communication going on right now then pretty much ever any time that i could ever remember yeah yeah i've furrowing my brow at what you mean by communication 'cause i think there's is of this information not saying like spectacular lines of thinking that lead to transfer open dialogue but is it just yapping be more and more people are yapping and comments the yapping on twitter that yapping on facebook the yapping and instagram is more yapping it's more blogs and yeah
video yapping there's more to come as a lot of opinions on him yeah but i would feed where you go eight i used to write jokes on here and now you know well re put a whole thing about all these comedians like saying things that aren't even remotely funny about issues it's a how how on are a lot of those opinions question a lot of these comics three le those below the surface how much do you really know about this issue do that you're speaking about 'cause i remember when i hello was vaguely not even ical but i was really like into the libertarian thing an egg you question and i was open about it listen everything i know on that subject is the bit that i did do you question
just surface knowledge enough to make it funny and then i move on i'm not home studying this shit afterwards i know enough to because a salient point which i can stand behind but if if you had on a panel talking about it now all all i know is the bit that was the extent of my knowledge with a fist joke at the end now against too much at the no there's no way so you could know most of the issues that are pressing today there's no way if you have an actual job in an actual life and friends and shake you like to do yeah there's no way we got a bunch of people that are argued about that they're not even barely inform and my brain is beaten to a pulp i again i've i've read a book two days later i remember if i liked it or not and i might remember one fact from that that i can turn into a bit right and then yeah what do you think
your brain is op occupying like what what how do you think it's operating do you think your brain is operating at fifty percent of what it was when you were two thousand one hundred and seventy five percent i care about a lot less right so so how much of it is that well i mean a lot of it is fucking alcohol and age yeah well i i blame the alcohol probably as much as i should but i know people that are my age that they can't remember a fucking thing and they don't drink well i think too many things happen to people in their lives too i think it's impossible remember every right you know they have that thing where you can only keep a certain amount of people in your brain told dunbars number certain amount of people like in your tribe like one hundred and fifty people and keep intimate relationships with one hundred and fifty people in your brain i bet that's the case with life experiences too
that's the case with information i bet that's the case but i think you only have a certain amount of data base space in your brain and i think some old really exercise it and and expand the capacity and get it pretty impressive but there's still only rooms for a certain amount of shed there's just if you're really paying attention to some things the other things you kind of kind of half as it's just the way of being a person were not designed for you know a perfect output in every single category of things that we do were designed to pay a lot of attention to some things and as long as like food and shelter is taken care of kind of barely pay attention other things yeah that's what we do mostly but today the chatter the yap and back and forth and people want to be right i mean i watch i watch battles like twitter battles all day long sometimes just watch people go back and forth everybody just trying to be right that's never happened before it was never this much because
we're doing this mostly probably while they're at work right there supposed to be doing other shit like oh yeah i'll show you you fucking piece of shape you fucking nazi and they just type in chitty chat and going back and forth with each other they're not getting anything done spike someone like i i that that that it's it's an old bit about nationalism but because of the current climate people of tweet that clip a lot and then because my name is in then they start an int actual twitter war which is the war when people are using big words and fuqing lots of facts and you excerpts from smart folk magazine in a twitter battle like it's one thing you have fuck your mother and my team is better than your team and that ship but when they're having these internet intellectual discourse is about whatever you know fuckin' climate change
you know nationalism or immigration but they keep me in the fucking thing 'cause it started with a u tube clip so my name my handle is in there and they don't take me out of the fucking thing so i'm involved and these long threads between two assholes trying to out smart each other you're doing this on twitter you can't have a legitimate argument that's what i told rose and don't fucking try to tweet your way out of this right if you're going to tweet at all just keep tweeting crazy ship till it puts the tweet in question into this phone fog of war yeah was like a fucking cleaner that's the way to do it i would have flown under house if i was ray donovan i would have flown her fucking house and i would say keep here
gambian here's malt liquor just keep crazy till it's completely note over the bed so that's the least of your problems that's that's so true i think most of the people that are tweeting all day art either don't have a job and they're just addicted to twitter or they're at work and if just fucking off and it's supposed to be working and so this is way more engaging to them 'cause they already stuck in this office so they're making sport out of going after people are getting at people or communicating with people sport out of it it it's it's flexing their actual muscles because they're you know trying to find a good argument here point it makes you look fucking stupid doing it two hundred and eighty words as
that's i mean we've all done it oh yeah i love i love twitter troll ing but when it's stupid just like fucking with people well you were trolling way back in the day when you but you trolling child molesters yeah yeah on aol instant messenger those days yeah that's book i waved and made the best of that you know yeah book is out honestly the that was the funniest shit i've ever written what year was this as a late 90s again when i did the aristocrats then they go you just make the joke however you want it i just took like i took verbatim stuff i did leading pedophiles it is used this you doing fucking with them that's why i almost forgot about your baiting it was like
at a website right was the way i had a website website and they the end they had stopped doing it because i get bored with it so it was also a you know go berry fend painting the fence where hey who will get you to i asked the hey i do this and submit to your site you know how we had that much fucking time i would in fourteen hour days just trying to get a full what as you get one that went halfway through and the guy who fails out 'cause he figures out your fucking with him and it's not printable and like how did i have that much time i remember spending twelve hours sound like free poker sites playing po current rolling the people 'cause you have you can chat chat while you play poker than fucking with people and just you know an asshole and how do i have fourteen i 'cause you have a job i still don't and i still have probably that much free time but now
successful yeah i feel like i have to keep doing something productive well you're so wiser we realize like how much time you actually invented invested into that versus which get out of it you know i mean how many different pedophiles did you try to contact for one of 'em start talking about as well you have to wait for them to contact to roast the point because you have your profile setup a thirteen girls girl likes hot talk with older men now you wrote that however you set it up i mean it's written cleverly so you're not getting other fucking thirteen year old kids talking here and uh but it's just the amount of time fuqing often having on with it it was a funny story that i heard about a a undercover dea agent who
moved in to try to rest another undercover dea agent and they're playing each other back and forth against each other and they didn't know that both of them are cops entire time you fucking assholes just wasted i just wasted money investigating each other so fucking stupid both sides undercover like what the fuck man if trump start talking about that if you really want people around if you really want to get people on the side i think what he would do is start making drugs legal and started saying listen folks is a reason why it's a problem in mexico and when you talk to economists while you were talking about that on stage last night yeah yeah the real problem is the drug war make drugs legal i wish i was thinking about that but move first methods of fuqing that it's just such a fucking horrible
ruthless they make a lot of that mexico as well yeah it's a ruthless drug it's a ruthless drug but and part of the reason why it's so fuckedup is because all of it is illegal i mean that's a big part of why it's so fuckedup is because it's not regulated it's not measured it's the doses or not doesn't say on the box it'll will kill you you know you can go by this old camp whiskey at any corner store right you just go in there and buy drink that whole thing drink that whole thing if you weigh one hundred pounds dead you dead and we all know i was thinking about that if i did run for mayor i'd have uh like they have the gun exchange programs have a meth exchange yeah best for mushrooms that's a great exchange give him good drugs they're doing this 'cause it's cheap then available will get him on good drugs that's actually a really good way to approach the subject it wasn't one of the things that hunter s thompson said he's running for sheriff of pitkin county
he said any drug worth taking she'll never be sold we will put a stocks in the middle of a seat in the middle of the city to lock up dishonest drug dealers looks like drug should be free of going to rest drug dealers i think if we made everything legal we have real problems for sure for quite a long period of time the question is whether or not you have enough resources to parent your kids to keep those problems from happening to your family or they're not enough self control to keep yourself from being one of those problems and drugs become legal and accessible but then once it's settled down from there ford will be moving in a way healthier place and you essentially take all of the money out of the cartel they're not making any money anymore and then they're not going to be this murderous gang or so it's going to take awhile for things to dissipate but look what they did to columbia main columbia used to be fun
easy and now you can go there and it's supposed to be really nice you go to bogota is supposed to be a really nice place that's safe want to go to south america and i can't i miss the yeah south america it's the the only continent i haven't been to an arctic cat doesn't count but a if there's nothing i've never found a place that looks like i want to go to argentina looks badass really yeah did some argentina's near the glacier it's beautiful down there yeah and roads talks highly about it but he's argentinian busy is if some of his he's got family down there yeah some doctors some deal spots beautiful spots in this country in this world but a south america s america the weirdest thing is like how much jungle it is like you look at how much of like bolivia and brazil
so how much of it is actual jungle hillock holyshit i wonder why these people down there most every one of 'em has some kind of fuckin' rebel army shit going on and kidnapping nothing that seems safe like costa rica i know you're probably not going to have a lot of issues right right right but it is it everything i've looked up i was on the beach in costa rica with my kids some dude offer me coke i was walking holding hands with five year old and dude was offered me coke not right now brother right now it's just like that just get you everyone gringo you know he comes and a party you know i know you don't live here mother fucker come here for a good time where'd you go uhm i don't remember man it was a couple of years ago but we drove to a couple of different places in costa rica where do you fly into san jose or liberia liberia and then we
went to the rainforest did the zip lining dude i heard a horrible thing i think it was just honeymoon couple in roa tan yeah they crashed into each other and killed the guy and put the girl in a coma they crashed into each other on a zip line yeah so the one of 'em get stuck yeah and the other guys coming to like it's like a fat kid in the a water slide gets stuck the two but then the next one comes down and smashes and they were gone so fast to me you're going so fast here on the zip line you're flyin i did i did that once just to say i did something the first time i went to costa rica yeah that's enough after that i'm happy fat on a boogie board yeah i did it once too and i kept thinking when do they check this wire its wires a mile long how are they checking this wire is
not a strong work ethic in costa rica either no those dudes who work there who are just climbing up and hitching people onto those things like they're a little too comfortable with the edge those people are just a little too comfortable with hanging off at trees clipping ropes on the wires and shooting you down there a little too casual little too casual about that endeavour yeah i thought it was one of the scariest things i've ever done is the cab ride for hoco to san jose in the capital and their fucking speed around what should be like fifteen mile an hour curves and there's a you an ox in a cart in the fucking middle of road road you just say head on collision coming so one of the things that i used to always be fascinated by show was his willingness to continue to go to these places where you had to take these trucks down these dirt road
you look out the window and you see a sheer cliff and up ahead is a fucking landslide though the gonna bring in a tractor to move the rocks away for landis limelight do not give it vietnam where you have your g you're in at the cab from the air report and there's just a see like a sturgis of vietnamese they're all on the sea of motorcycles and scooters literally moving in your seat like they're going to hit it and somehow it works like cirque du soleil it looks like going crash but they don't crash it those in the sky that move moved together figure that out hi to all of them we get together that all these people yeah this is an saturday that is just straight in saturday if it is not in their cars just driving through have you ever been to mexico city
might even be that might be the view from where i was staying i was staying in the hotel where they have the iconic picture of the the last helicopters cia helicopter landing taking off from the roof of the hotel and people are like climbing be the last person on that was the hotel we were at that wo where that helicopter is landing is now a rooftop bar and that was the hotel we did the gig in vietnam supposed to be awesome no and if you're adventurous if you're tom rhodes i'm sure it's fantastic if you're being where you're terrified to go out of the hotel no no not at all that rooftop bar is great ordained loved it it was like one of his favorite place
is it go he that's you he had eight with the president yeah obama that's right they i still call the president the president he's my president he was my president do you see when not nbc road out about oprah here's to our president it was amazing speech by our president they put a nbc put on their twitter page and someone came along one without are you doing i love all the people say well you it would you when to complain about something and they go yeah well obama did the same thing and no one said it would no i didn't i didn't and that's not the point still sucks thank you it will you when you make a point about an issue that it's left or right thing when you're actually defending a a person or a big nose this is for
locked up in wrong will obama did it well there's still up and wrong yeah i never i like i think obama is a really cool guy as a personality but i'm sure every praise yeah bill clinton did horrible fucking things and you i'd like increase sentencing from fucking drug stuff and a good personality and i don't give a fuck i don't imagine being a guy or girl that's supposed to be paying attention to every single issue that's going on this country and making decision about all of it and doing it all investigating every single issue perfectly getting all the right advice from all the advisers carefully considering each and every step the fuck of here there's no way they can there's no way the president really knows what's going on with all the different problems in this country there's no fucking way no possible if if we just be name a cool country like
norway yeah just like you know close all the bases around the world don't be world police we're just going to be a fun country like in iceland right i just bring all the troops back it no more you know what did go ahead with the disarming you guys i think she would calm down i think the world calm down as long as we kept our guns as long as we keep our web keep the same amount of people in the military bring back home but make them exercise here the home is as soon as any one superpower the way they leave leave a vacuum and another superpower try to rise up that's the big fear that's what the big military proponents fear is that if we're not strong someone else will become stronger and then will be weak will be attacked and that it does happen other places in the world
i'll be so naive as to think it'll never happen again so give it a shot and it doesn't work it fucking i don't know how you can take any president seriously now as we're aging and put time in prison victim for years is nothing so i'm going to make a deal with you and four years later is going to be another asola goes not never mind scrap that like i think there's i think a dictators not i thing as long as he's a good one yeah yeah dictator like a dictate we all have a good time fuckin' fifteen hour work week well here's the real question the united states was founded because people have decided they didn't like the way things are running in europe they didn't like monarch these they didn't like being under the rule of a king or a queen they wanted to do it by elected officials they wanted to have
representative democracy or a representative democratic republic they wanted to figure out something new so they came over here and did it what would be the resistance would have say like everybody tried to do what they did up in oregon and start a new country somewhere if people like fuck this we're going to go to this spot look global warming clearing off some nice swatch is a land in an artica we're just going to up there it's fucking beautiful and green just fuck it we're done we're and then over there were going to barely have an army and you know just have a bunch of dudes look on the look out with guns make sure we get robbed and that's it and you know health care yeah i will pay for that education yeah yeah will pay for education do whatever want to do this i never would have melted in fuckin' kids and ruin it damn that's the problem overpopulation but
i'm gonna take over populate green land what that's what they were trying to do yeah i i looked into greenland as as a weird place to go visit nice land is fantastic it's just a little dull that's the problem with all these the know best place live is norway and in navy and iceland but there is a canada everyone's nice everyone's nice going of going and you have more than minnesota and everyone is nice and there's no there's no excitement there's no but find that's just said that adrenaline montana said he was living in bozeman and i said yes love bozeman is like it's a bunch of boring white people that just they really into bikes really into bite they have great calves so he said great apparent ants pouring white people but i mean that's the one of the good things about what you do
is that you can be in your town and then you can go other places but you always have that town versus if you get stuck like we're talking the people that are just live in columbus ohio there alive not to pick on columbus but they're yeah saint louis whatever name a city versus someone travels around all over the place the same can be said about someone who lives in la if you grow up here and you think this is the world of this this crazy can just did slab of human rose piled on top of each other now the rest of the world is there some spots we can go to where there's hardly anybody never been idaho you know i was in idaho did you yeah i lived in a town of four hundred people for a while and i was twenty two no yeah
a little cabin on the south fork of the payette river of fifty five miles north of boise there's some lakes up there where you go i should even be allowed to be here hi this is too pretty i just seems like the should have to pay to be here are are or this should be restricted access or some like it's fucking gorgeous up there i i was i was twenty two when i have my wife left me i moved to boise just 'cause it sounded funny fraud telemarketing so i could do it anywhere there's a phone right i'm in business and then uh after we moved boise and immediately my wife left me for my best friend we all moved out there together and then my other buddy that moved with us couldn't all the stress so he went back to vegas so i'm well my shifter boise and within two weeks i'm alone so i objectivist fucking i bought a cabin like a for sale by owner
like i didn't get a loan as a key i'm just going to give you it was what is the body college were a i i'm did just signed contract and i'll pay you i didn't go through a bank right owner financed owner finance and the little cabin and they two bars in town and you're either a long branch guy or you the dirty shame guy and i was a dirty shame saloon guy and i would drive back and forth because it in a small town they open around noon but necessarily at noon and how old were you then twenty two that's hilarious so fuckin' chicks there so you are would drive back and forth in front of the or until jolie showed up to open so if it's one thousand two hundred and fifteen i've been just driving back and forth waiting for it to open and i would i lasted like six months and then i had to ditch out on the phone
be there by yourself or financing yeah at one point my buddy that moved back to vegas came up and he was there for a couple months but we get on the phone just enough to pay our bar tab in fact my bar tab i traded out like furniture when i when i bailed six months later i traded jolene like my furniture in the cabin for my bar tab and yeah sucking crazy so you could set your own hours when you're doing this scam telemarketing stuff you just said it whenever you want to and they just got like you clocked in he got paid also do it out of my cabin just pick up the phone it leads i stole from vegas and and what did you do like how did that work do you call a business is in a dead the pitch and you won one of these awards in your your you just have to buy this many heroes of pens like to add cop that ad specs advertising specialties this mug with yeah eight joe
if you want a big award and i've got a i have to do is make a small purchase of these mugs with your business name on on the joe rogan podcast and you're guaranteed to win this big award that's worth label it's is wow so it's just a total scam now wow but clever the phrase to so to stay in that gray area of legal right where like whoa i knew do has and it really interesting scam he had a scam where they were making it was a company that allow you to fix your credit so they would give you a line of credit and you would buy things and then pay off the credit and it would boost your credit backs if you had fuckedup up credit it was all it was allow you to fix your credit but the catch was the only things you could buy with their credit card was things from their catalog so my soul to the company
you still or yeah i get you know those things so they had these i got scam but i've cataloged in working with stuff but say if something cost you know whatever was a toenail clipper if it cost like three dollars at the grocery store there is twenty five dollars so if you want to buy it you you're giving them a giant chunk of profit so they would ship these terrible little items and it would really actually boost these people's credit actually did work wear boots so was it a no off the but it was a total scam see see you're the only ship they can be fire would your credit cards is stuff from your catalog and everything's marked up through the fucking roof and this dude made millions on that made me and so that is what the product like get i was for a company originally we would have the black mag
and with the gold medal florentine trim and five lines of your ad copy on it would be selling these fucking twenty five cent pens for like four dollars apiece so it was but they scanned that i was just getting into when i started doing comedy and and bailed out of it then went full time in comedy was the of the invention once like the george foreman grill yeah the movie do you have an invention it tell and it's a yeah it's just such a great scam because egos involved and it's good you know everyone thinks they should be on shark tank those kind people you go i can't say that but i think what you have here and then it's a multi level where vent help there it submit your invention idea to openings i'm not saying in help is a scam i'm saying scams of that do you have an invention and then there's a step
one is we're going to do a got a patent search to see and this is going to cost you this but honestly phil i think you're on this and i can't say that this is a million dollar idea but i know when i have a feeling it's the way you say it and you could it would be so easy and i was just starting to do that did you feel awful when you get off the phone no i didn't feel awful till years later well i never did get into that fully where i is just starting to do that my house out of my apartment in vegas when i like i'm going full time and comedy so but other scams no i never felt bad you they say
they're ripping off old people know we were ripping off young greedy fucking people that think they're going to get something for nothing and uh yeah how is small business thing work like what if someone did have a good invention i don't know i never got that are into it i was just starting where i go this i i don't have the time to do a comedy i get i i got an offer i moved to phoenix and i i got to do opposite house mc like six or six months yeah about six months after i started fell in love with a girl in phoenix down there get a job as a house mc in where i right all i was getting get a getting a free hotel room the club was in a a days inn i think it was so i get a free hotel we a place to live and i could do comedy five nights a week and talk to to gege chef loved me and would give me free food you do shows in bisbee now i i have other people
the bisbee i filmed at my last it's a throwaway special but i just did it like an experiment in the fun house so basically this room but not maybe not quite this big it's eighteen twenty box with a bar built and enter little tiny stage in the corner and i've filmed it's popov vodka benson evening would doug stanhope now we're selling it on vhs out over you sold out but we the only physical copies of vhs really yeah you can get on vimeo it's digital right about an hours worth of material that i think there's only twenty minutes on the vhs just the bit about pop vodka presents where we try to get sponsorship with pop off 'cause it's fucking grade shity vodka and i thought that would be a funny sponsor
and brian reached out to and through channels that they said with the popov wouldn't touch doug stanhope with a ten foot pole as they said six so i have this giant twenty minute it bit about but i like i'm going to be sponsored by pop vodka against their will and i'm going to suck it make us special called pop up vodka presents and i'm going to keep doing it until they give me a cease and this is the but i took an hour of material that get cut out of other specials or i go i really like that bit i just had to cut it down to an hour i'm going to put this out as the popup vodka presents pencil areas do they know haven't a cease and desist yes probationers it's bob yeah yeah got a special you gotta tell me your fucking rot gut fuckin'
they wouldn't touch a ten foot liquid hobos always the password use i think it's a bit i i think i say hobo plasma photos mobile as it was it is it that i but i i want a bit more with that and we've had a bunch of comics i a livia grace who opened last night she came down there bisbee for row comics going to la what i'm going to do gigs in austin it's kind of on the way so we've had a bunch of comics down and get drunk and go hey fuckin' do is show 'cause fifth in people in that room it's tiny enough that that's a real audience and we've never had a bad show there like it is so yeah i want to film stuff i want to start experimenting with doing like just putting out singles like my bits are fucking like you have bits that have like in seventeen minutes
yeah i don't i don't know like hedberg i don't have one liner so i can take l sixteen minute bidan and just sell that as a single nine nine cents on itunes or i don't know how the i don't know how that side of town a bad idea the probably you know there's a lot of people to do their podcast with subscription like nicht apollo just released his new podcast and he's doing a subscription service we have to pay to listen to it can i get it that's one of the things when i retire is figure out shit like patrion i've heard about it and you can do this and yeah you just get to give you money yeah that's nice you must give me money they just give you money like i really support you on patreon like there's a lot of people that do that they just do stuff like please support my patreon oh please give me money yeah i don't really like working i like just talking in front of youtube camera so if you like me talking please support my patreon but
everyone talks about their new hour i'm doing you only an hour and a half now an i'm not doing you know five different bits that i really like that i just got bored with but it still haven't recorded so i could put out a chunk of those like leftover you know was buying a v d anymore there's bright getting everything digital that's true so yeah what what why not just hey this is a great twenty minutes i'm tired of it let's put it out yeah it's not a bad idea i mean you could do youtube red to or you know you do it too subscriptions there's a bunch of different ways to do it now there's more options every day too it's it's it's becoming interesting i know amazon releases a lot of stuff now too yeah the release and a lot of stand up it's a it's kind of amazing there's only one youtube that's what's really amazing i mean vimeo does exist and it is good but is in terms of like when people think of like
one platform where you get videos on you really only think of youtube yeah an monitor i think i don't know how any of that works and jamie could tell you i can help you it's not that complicated yeah a lot of people do and we're gonna have to and started doing video for our podcast yeah how come you don't like doing that i just hate being on camera like here it's it do you have it's subtle enough i remember the year studio where i'm looking at my face on a jury atv we still remember tripping yeah that bad bad day yeah i have done that way that way was dumb because when we i somewhere along the line that when they were not up on that screen like we would look at ourselves on that screen would make you think about it and then somewhere along the line i said let's stop doing this is just doesn't but i
even if it's just a couple of go pros yeah it's weird so it's an added unnecessary element you thinking about i don't think about that camera or that camera no yeah yeah but yeah i remember the first time i did your podcast and we were sitting on it couch somewhere side by side so it's awkward yeah it was uncomfortable couches are uncomfortable to like sit and talk like sit up and talk like you're sinking into him and just leave but yet you don't start bothering you you want to look across yeah yeah this is it's going to be nine years in december yeah look you crazy yeah that couch was in ari's house we still have the make me hard sign yeah there was a fence of two offensive for comedy central yeah the all you're doing is so you're fine
house is like you have an extra house so you have like your main house where you live in and then you have the fun house as a bar and then we have a guest house spiderman couple houses in town too right yeah yeah we got a few becoming your own oregon cult slowly by contests renting it out to people that you like that's what the free state project yeah the libertarian movement to try to get everyone to move to one state and that way we can all vote as we go one percent of the vote nationally but if we all lived in one state then we could yeah then they pick new hampshire high i'm not going to fucking new hampshire you fuckyou it's just too hard to get layed up there it's too fucking cold it's too cold i haven't seen winter and many years i remember a fitzsimmons got kicked out of a gig up there
and they had told him not to drive at night 'cause there's so many moves on the road but they kicked him out of gig for swearing they fire they fired him when he when he got there they had his bags packed when he got off stage and they said you're fired get out 'cause you're supposed to be there for the weekend and they made him drive home i'm guessing this is a long time ago oh yeah we're both starting out fucking fitzsimmons is a hot head always hot out here i never saw that in him oh yeah he's always he's irish he's always been a hot head did his podcast a few years ago and he almost came to fisticuffs with a fucking parking attended like fuck you you want to fucking like really in his face his fucking beet red he was going to be fuck out of the guy just ignored me he was so angry i am just waiting there to do podcast that he just close by me like i'm a problem to like justin raged hilarious
and then we get on the podcast and he's fine professional yeah i thought it was today and i do too we started out together like within a week apart from each other yeah we were buddies were raw open micros we should steal jokes from each other like we didn't really have enough material to do like one slash two an hour so who do some of my shit i do some his shit blowjob that work great and fucking some shit hole in the middle of nowhere like when you and we were we're like a year and we're both about a year and we started getting paid gigs you're a year and you really don't have twenty eight yeah it's my first my first right before i moved to phoenix my first paid road gig was in flag the staff for sandy hackett and i was co headlining with a ventriloquist who'd never worked a comedy club the only worked as county fair circuits and he was remember he was so weird he was an old historic
hotel that we were staying in that they put us up in the gays in and he moved to a different hotel because this was so old he thought it was fire hazard and he said one time he played a cruise ship and someone threw his dummy overboard and he can't go through that again if he lost his dummy in a fire so we paid probably as much as he was making for the gig to get his own hotel it was a decent hotel and i i remember i i think i only had to do like thirty or thirty five minutes and i was stretching to get twenty even with everything i had i remember stealing some jokes from one of the vegas open because where i live they go back and say oh hey i use some of your material because i had to fill time and then find a find out later that was stolen and they look easy
well yeah ok it was like really don't do it again ok yeah those road gigs back that the mean either you didn't realize it at the time but what it it's all of it builds up to be this giant education and how to do stand up in those that the foundation of those road gigs is replaceable all my favorite comics they started out doing the road you know everybody joey you mean our duncan if anyone has done this as a gimmick i know this this is a town gimmick shows my first note book as anyone who own benjaman i mean not all in benjamin tonesmith owen smith as a show that he does online where i brought him some notebooks from like nine thousand two hundred and ninety one hundred and ninety two terrable material carol and we read over some of the jokes and i even have like
forced setups and forced like audience interaction i fake audience interaction where it ask them a question is awful well i'm like am i right ladies like i had that is written is this on stage we did it in the back bar the comedy store and we would go over the we were going over the notebook just laughing all right but i have it is a fun stage show is that for yeah we have to go up and do your do the act dry right well the thing is i don't and have the act like clearly written now all you have to just promote for material from yeah first notebook well back then if i wrote a hundred things down and one of them was halfway worth talking about it was amazing but i didn't know what i was my first notebook i have written out my four minutes or whatever it was including hi my name is
doug stanhope is written well if you want to practice correctly i know guys used to practice in front of the mirror they would just stand in front of mirror and do their act hey am i right or am i wrong yeah we do i don't know if i ever did that but i was certainly the guy pacing in the back alley saying it out loud and deal with the hand gestures right everything yeah just going over in your head i know a guy saying it yeah i know a guy who steals act on camera alone in a room like a bedroom set up camera and do is act to the camera to go back and watch and analyze it i do you you get those emails hey this is a i'm doing comedy now tell me what you think and you click on lincoln it's a youtube of them in their basement just optional camera by themselves like the with the odds of
youtube shooter lady creepy reading off their material of imagine having to do it again it's one of the things that dane cook said once the one thing that i could never imagine doing in life is starting over as a stand up from the beginning again thank you as a invalid david idea but i'm not i don't i don't want to i don't want to air it but is something that i i want to do in my in my retirement years but a it's not quite that but but what the comics as q like the amount of emails what advice do you how do i start out well i don't know haven't started in twenty eight years so just want to interact with you there trying to find a way to interact with you if they wanted us to figure how to start out this is not going be able to ask you they got to go to open my you ask the guy that's where if you haven't done open mic go to
open my kinaskan open miker or do i do and if you're an open mic are that wants to get work as an mc then asking him see what he did yeah that's the guy just above you because he knows i don't know how the do you think i know what what the dorfman's look for gonna right but a yeah i mean if you want to be a fear theoretical mathematician go to some guys teaching at harvard and say hey man how do i get started i haven't gone to elementary school yeah yeah but i'm thinking about it it mean people that want advice like there's no way you can give advice anyway you would have to see them a whole bunch of times and even then you'd have like what are you trying to do where you trying to go and then
watching more watch him try to get better i mean the best advice you could ever give miss do it listen record write down what sucks about it write down what work well do it again right right perform suck me right repeat and you're going to set up is a five word response yeah that's right performed suck rewrite repeat just keep doing it you have to keep doing it it's something that you just don't you're not going to be great right off like anybody who thinks they're going to be amazing at this like right off the bat like oh can't it's not possible and if you're asking me i might think you suck yeah and if i say well you you suck what other people might think you're funny so don't listen to me that was the best that my refrain joe we was a guy that was just a little above me and i it's advice to a kid that was just below me when i was a at just above open and angeli
pulled me aside he goes don't give these kids advice because all you ever do is telling him how to be like you yeah that's true it is i would have fucking told dane cook yeah you're going to never you're never going to be good at this i'm not your audience yeah well it is always going to suffer from that because there's no categories you know i mean it's not like blues are yeah disco you know jazz rock and roll is just comedy and there's different kinds of comedy the always doing but there's no categories so it's like they used to build me as x rated just 'cause there wasn't a category but they wanted to warn people signs i still have on my shows to this day it said well it's as warning joe rogan show contains a strong this material content imaginable sir because i got i got tired of people complaining i was said tell them that it contains like the most up things a man
imaginable so they read that and they go in it couldn't be like wow i couldn't imagine that like it says the most mature imaginable now i remember playing zanies in chicago and thing i really hard week of walk outs and angry people even though build it as adult or x rated yeah this my there you are i post that shows i've had that push it that you were just in tucson i didn't go to sans fuckin' great first of all how cool does it desert lookout there looks fake those of the the guy was driving us told us that there were a cactus is that have gps in them because people are stealing cactuses sit still cac that she ps in the cactuses and arrest people at their house with a fucking cat
this this sort of desert did you drive back after that game 'cause i went to phoenix we dropped to feed you told me you were doing that that's why i didn't come up yeah originally i was gonna do other gigs that week but this too many things got moved around a one up flying in the boise the next day can you travel to asia how many different places you go where it's all expats it's all expats first time i've done one of those tom rhodes tours where a hong kong singapore shanghai she min city forget tokyo tokyo tokyo is fascinating huh it seems like a whole different world like this to look at you you landed in alien world where the language all different with the people look like us there you know but a little
a yeah didn't realize i didn't venture out much but yes it's pretty weird but everyone's friendly yeah singapore is fucking amazing it's like that movie elysium or really absolutely safe beautiful no crime super wealthy right very wealthy like more than new york city like more expensive to live in the new york city don't know i i i know it's very expensive i was doing to give for a day were paying for all these five star hotels and were i probably took a bath on the guarantee okay i paid my own way i could have done it way cheaper but it's it's it's super wealthy like hong kong is all fuckin' international banker fuchs that's high dollar and singapore are the people that pay them
so yeah it wasn't the expats i was expecting so when you're there like how big are the places you're doing i six hundred ish mostly people from i had twelve not necessary please stay somewhere in england australia canada there's just a lot of people that move there for work or well hong kong and singapore again a lot of international banker you know flunking tight suits lots of blow probably skinny skinny jeans and blow willful wall street flux invoice in my new car come on yeah vietnam bank little see dear how many different places you in asia that was it bangkok a vietnam kong shanghai i think
and i'm missing a couple of tokyo now it was but it was it was so quick so you're doing a different country every day so every day is another v said but you know customs and does it court just cry go in your immune system though the constant traveling when i try every day i can only do that a few days in a row after while i'm like well i don't get any sleep i don't sleep well when i'm getting up in the morning you gotta get up early for the flight and then i take a nap you barely sleep sleep a few hours at night going to get up in the morning again you doing also you're wired after the show and then like two three days in your exhaust it was pretty brutal yeah i think the way to do it is to spread it out over long periods of time so that you do a gig and then you hang out in a city for like a few days chill out see what's there then move on to the next place i i i
i liked all right let's get it out of the way because those days off i gun right well i counsel let's party and we're gonna below strength scalia buddha yeah i'm lot healthier when i have a lot of gigs in a row because then i stay sober did he try showtime you tried quitting cigarettes for awhile yeah i'll try i want you for the longest was a year in two thousand and eight i did six weeks of couple years ago and then get a book deal and went right that's the one thing i can't i cannot write an not smoke really yeah that's the hardest thing to do quitting like eventually okay yeah i can go i can drink and not smoke i can go out and i can
interviews on the phone that's usually where i you got to do interviews and chain smoking but writing a book writing now as just constant his live at a real problem with that hinchcliffe he would write we write for roast and things like that always be smoked cigarettes there's a socio cigarettes of writing but he quit smoking cigarettes and it took a while so there was a cranky period took awhile to get over the hump got one of those vape pens now yeah bingo uses those that's what i was going to say i'm going to bring your vape pen to rogans 'cause i don't want to smoke and ruin his fucking studio again and fun it seems to be working good i mean i could smell it but i mean there's no there's not like thick in the air the fan works does it have filters tammy do have to clean filters do we know anything after after today after today motherfucka douglas it's already two hundred o'clock we did three hours
really yeah should i make sense right time flies by um anything to tell these fine nothing to promote this is this errors on my first day of retirement the retirement of doug stanhope which will get attend a train trip going nowhere but on the train now we would go to chicago to sanders chicago to portland down to la and back to tucson just have some fun hanging around on a train beautiful yeah i love it love sucking moving yeah man i mean you don't have to do anything you could do whatever the heck you want that's the american dream the american dream is not just success it's also freedom right freedom to do whatever not be trapped like to be wise enough to not be trapped by your bills or your pre commitments bang it out make enough money stockpile your finances and go ok we're good just just fucking chill live cheap discount mate
lesson to you all america live like doug stanhope or don't is that it yes it can either body thanks bye thank you for tuning into the pie cast anne thank you to our sponsors thank you to audible go to audible dot com slash rogan or text rogan two five hundred five hundred to get started an again amazon prime members can get audible for four hundred and ninety five a month for the first three months after it's only one thousand four hundred and ninety five a month this offer ends july 31st two thousand and eighteen thank you also to betterment that's right folks go to betterment dot com forward slash rogan and listeners can get up to one year managed free that's a lot to make some cash during that time for more information visit betterment dot com slash rogan we are
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i'm working on some new ones
Transcript generated on 2019-11-13.