« The Joe Rogan Experience

#1160 - Bert Kreischer

2018-08-23 | 🔗
Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comedian, actor and reality television host. His new special "Secret Time" premieres on August 24 only on Netflix.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hey folks fucks going on to ron to listen we gotta move the venue in toronto i'm still going to be there september 29th here's what the issue is there's a strike there's some sort of a union strike at that venue at the ricoh coliseum so we're going to move to who is it called the scotia bank cheats us christ i think it's called the scotiabank arena it used to be the air canada centre i'll tell you right now in two seconds hold on yeah scotiabank so that's where it's going to move to if you have to it's for the other place they just transfer over to the new place you don't have to sweat it the good news is the the place that we going to be at the ricoh coliseum is all sold out but
air canada centre now called the scotiabank arena has one thousand two hundred more seats so it's under a diff union contract it's also union so we're not being union breakers or anything like that we're just going to a different place so that will be for sale soon the other things that are for sale is september the 14th i in columbus oh at the schottenstein schottenstein god damn it how do i get that wrong i got it right two times in a row that's the 14th in columbus that's some that's for young james from so why that's it joe rogan dot com for all that good stuff all righty e pull this up so the podcast is brought to you by stamps dot com now if you said things through the mail and you do it on a regular basis you don't
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woodward rogan save ten percent off any and all supplements all my yes two day is the machine one of my best friends in the plan an amazing guy a hilarious dude you might know him from his podcast you i know him from this podcast you might know him from his travel channel travel channel travel channel show he has a new netflix special that is out this friday night august 24th it is called secret time he is the one and only bert kreischer the joe rogan experience trying my day joe rogan podcast by night all day did i love the video that tommy made tommy fucking animation you gotta go check out the tommies animations done mother fucker where is it at now where can you live where can you get that animation on target
beyond toms instagram is it available he paid for that i know he did pay missing it's amazing he showed it to me last night the icehouse fucking amaze using so whoever did that is really talented it's very funny to his fans are the most creative fans ever did he's got fans in indonesia who teach english to children and all they do is teach how to say bird is fat a gene and gene say chick jeans high and tight so strange he's kind of weird niche like kim and his wife together on that podcast it's a weird like silly show we should the six of us should go out to eat one night because watch the two of them interact is there is just inside jokes between the two always and it's so much fun to be there really are one of the funnest couples that i've ever befriended in my life it's weird that it so good it's like every commit in couple when there two comedians and how long it's like a bomb like you just
next looks like i gotta get outta here before this thing blows but with them it's like it just works it's so funny to but he's known me probably fifteen years and the other day were hanging out there's just me and him bullshit and he goes he's got two kids he's there i'll see you can tell they have two brand new kids is running around like a lunatic with a balloon running into walls that kids are wrecking ball the other ones infant and he me goes i can't believe you this with no money i just like kids fuck it'll workout wow yeah it's true right how old were you when you first started having kids thirty two i think my daughters fourteen and how long into comedy where you then i started two thousand six hundred and eight years wow maybe eight years six years someone do the math better than maine yeah so
six years and like that is not a good time as a comedian six years in is ralph da's featuring george was born on like go on like a tuesday and i have and we induced labor so that i could go feature for dave attell on thursday oh my god and i was so excited to work with david tell i was almost as excited to work with david tells the havoc it where are you working miami i work that that stretch developed every place to work yeah no shit dude i was just in miami i was in miami a few months ago and i did that cell phone bag thing 'cause i did it before i fill my netflix special yeah i did it for awhile when they have to put their phones in the bag when i stopped doing it it's complicated it's annoying sing it takes especially doing two shows it's a giant space in between child but never have i seen a crowd like
to use your phone you got to get out of the arena and then come back everybody was just constantly going out there were constantly getting up i mean it was just it was like is doing standup not in front of people sitting down in front of people in a constant state of move bing sitting down and getting up that fucking insane just constantly moving like no place i've ever then they have zero attention span i've always said if you want to starve to death open up a book store in miami these mother fuckers they just do coke and fuck each other an party not everybody i know i'm generalizing if you you probably read billy corben loves fucking miami so so i so i started headlining miami is one of the first clubs in let me head like i handled the room that just like take a white guy anyone i had i had the most crazy experiences i've ever had there one night it's me uh and two other comics i'm headlining right sunday night and i
data the manager i said it seems pretty rowdy other heckling her and then he's like yeah its prey there's gang bangers in the front row i was like who can escort them out maybe he goes i think they have weapons i'm not comfortable with that was like so we're going to do and he's like i don't have tread lightly i guess feature that goes up there's one hundred percent swear on my children two story featurette goes up they destroy him he comes back oh my god thinning hair matted sweaty to his head and he's like it's not good so i well and i do an old dave attell trick it's i mean it's a comedy struck by watch dave do it where he would ask the audio the question that he had the joke for so he'd ask them to set up what's the best way to please your wife you know and then he had the joke i would suggest to give oral sex to your chicken the guys like and then the guy would tell his joke and then obviously the better jokes you wrote it so what you do is you put your lips around or entirely and go oh and so i do that with these gang bangers for like four thousand and thirty five minutes and it's killing the whole crowds like finally we're all having fun
i look off to the left and all of a sudden one of them a darker guy names ray gets up on stage and he's like on stage there's no stopping this with you with me it's like there's a real mother fucker right here there's a real mother fucker you know we're real mother fuckers getting the three hundred and five poses passed down and shows his dick and it is massive massive and dark like and everyone silent i'm like ok ray thank you very much is like show your shits i'm not now show yo shit son so yo shit son i was like not going to happen now not going to happen how do you know you might want to leave i'm sure they're calling the cops and he's like good looking out cheats right so so i'm like
i have nothing to say i have nothing to say i'm like i'm like how do i follow that all the sudden lighter skin dude face tattoo dreadlocks stands up real slow and i'm like oh my god please stay with another dick gets on stage and just go there's a real mother fucker you know real motherfuckers getting the three hundred and five have pulls his pants down and he has an equally almost like lighter two tone dick the purple ring around the and the place is going bananas they're like oh my god oh my god i go listen brother there definitely called the cops now you definitely go catch up with ray and get a ride home thank you so much for the you know and he's like good looking good he gets stay all right i'll show as the joint i swear my children's lives i swear my children leave you man i'm hurt they're there with a hairless albino girl or guy and i go so funny man the only dick i ever wanted to see was yours and the audience quiet he
slowly stands up and everyone's like no please of having gets onstage drops his pants and this huge no hair it looks like a lighthouse just i just drop the mic oh that's my show and i just walked off the guys it was the that will that club was fucking insane insane you know what happened they started giving out free tickets and just went off the it's like no one was paying and it was all all just like young kids and i remember i had a joke once we so i said something about i think oscar de la hoya it was like a joke about boxing about like taking a left hook from oscar de la hoya and someone yells out fall kim for not no vargas and then someone goes fuck him so who do cesar chavez and they just started fucking debating about what my guys this is a joke as nothing to do with it boxing even what the fuck but it turned into this like gigantic argument over like which latino boxer is is better
yes i've never been to a club that was more out of control and i saw it get out of control when i first started working there it was fine yeah it was fine and somewhere along the line it just went to chaos they started doing just morale we are ready acts of getting more and more young kids and then sometimes he would go there in the whole audience eighteen oh yeah and not everyone spoke english that was another real problem in that club did you never saw anybody kill like you c as do spanglish in front of those fucking oh my god he came up in that club while he was always there yeah i think him and ricky ricky cruz all those guys had all work club in just were my job that joey mirrored ordered or i'd buy work you chilly there are a ton of times but you know gillian i we knew how to work together like it worked and i'm in
from doing the comic storm so much he i'm just used to chaos it used to chaos i like the us yeah it's fun fun sometimes you know as long as you have filled with special it was jealous is to a show and it's chaos it's fun but does my first taping in philly phil is while last please do not hang one i can i call call tommy goes that's why we take to brother have good good luck on the next one yeah yeah i do for now a do over i do for now dude that is genius it's a way to do it i really should do sex but should pelted nine just the way to go it seems like it's not but did the thing is like you want to make it the most like a regular show but the ironic thing is most of what i use i use from the first show because i'm so loose because i know i have four shows it's like it's different it's it's it's when you film and one show like always you
amber scene bill hicks relentless which is the one he did in in the uk is a big theater in the uk and it's a duster giant production comes out to look at hendrix song in this fire behind him and all this and you could feel the tension but he's got tension because he's got one shot at this he did a great job but it was stiff this is stef and mike i was dating this guy all the time she's very smart then watched it with her just like interesting but this is not funny no way she said that i was like wow like i was to meals giant bill hicks fans like hurt like i wanted to argue with her but i was like i can't argue with her she's kind of right it wasn't i didn't laugh when i was such a fan that like watching him was like important to me like i wanted to watch it because i felt like he was a very important figure in comedy even though i
just for on him relentlessly but i was when i was watching him where was this is but when i was watching them i was thinking she's right like it's not really making me laugh at all but i know the material well thought out and it's very good but it's just that i were in a recognized as like that one show thing your film one show you a one shot and see i am i think that because i come from a like a baseball sports background i like having pressure on me i love that feeling of you got one shot to in philly did two and the first one it rain the generator went out and we had to all the audience in the rain for an hour and a half she's they lost their buzz there soaking wet they finally come into the show they're in the show they're trying to catch a buzz again and a just a bad show like legit like legit i even do well like i remember tell my buddy tony who produced it i go
i bet shows were like when you're moving you accidentally stand on the mike and you go to move and then the mike moves away from your mouth and i did it i fucking did it well that you will get into existence i told my wife who's there i go if i flub a word like just write it down so i can pick it up cleaning the second one she walked in the green room all my gentlemen managers producers with no pangos so we to start so i get i got one more shot i got one shot and in my head i have that high school bert kreischer like you said you like pressure let's go motherfucker you got one show like it so i'm chills talking about going let's go do not fucking up one word you have to show your fucking life my buddy tony as a producer comes over he goes let's get a coffee and back in high school to be like bob coke but like let's get a coffee were grown ups how coffee went on and joe i swear to god home the back show of my life the best show my life to the point where i was like i even i
walked around a little bit on stage and i just kept in special i was like and i i think if i did nine they be sloppy if i do too when i go i got one shot i got a guy dining in this tonight we sent i feel like you re we go this is important to me i made love to do four i think yeah i think you could do as many as you want honest you know it's it's just a matter of like that that pressure of that second show it for the first show for i think that's what i mean i was talking about this with the chuck pollock yesterday this is name right yeah for sure paula now because of the holiday neck politic bar terrible moments on stage i think you like the best thing ever for your act eating eating the best thing a free iraq because then you you we recover from a local i don't want to feel that again ever i tend not feeling too it's the worst thing you you bounce back you you fit
god had a how to tighten everything up if you figure out how to just even a bad moment a joke that doesn't work you know like the jokes that don't i've got some new stuff man that is is not that good with some new stuff that's just like it's it's it's in its infant stage where it's just like wobbling a around every now and then i'll catch it i'll catch it perfect and it's like it's been doing some of them for like two or three shows and also they're like wobble i don't know where i'm going with them and i'm trying to figure it out on stage and fuck around with them that's like the whole purpose of doing all these shows in town especially and but those those haunt you in the ride home that's why it that's why i'm grateful i work at the store yeah right a my special my closing but i do on the show on the special the closing bit i i i sat with you for about an hour in the back room cuz i get up in the main room following like i just said here we go and man that club
really let you know where the silences and you go all right and then you're like i've been lazy i've been performing the fans who will give you the for the dow love you yeah yeah and they want you to succeed but when you do look special you need it to be to put strangers need to like it that's the the only quote i used to hang my hat on they were like why don't you work it used to be any goes anyone can make them laugh he's like like i'm famous if i go in but that's like making your friends out that's why why do the road is the art form is to make strangers laugh and i was like yeah it is to make strangers laugh yeah well it's it's also you don't want a delusion of perspective and one thing that does happen some complex stanhope lives by it like he's like why would i go into someone else's audience because it took me twenty five years to make my own audience mike okay i get it yeah but i really feel like to develop material to really do it right you got to do
do it in front of his regular people people that aren't necessarily there to see you and the beautiful thing about the stores if there is seen people in the lineup for twenty people a lot of whatever it is others see you ten percent thirty percent twenty percent like but you know maybe they're there to see you and leah and also you know tom and also christina it's there just comedy fans did upper crusher fans yeah yeah that that's giant as giant because those guys who like develop like that our eyes have seen a few people to develop an audience and that's with all their audience and there's they just get real old complacent real lazy the does it i mean i i've i've i said lightly x some internet comics meaning like you tube comment people that new comedy now in summer good summer in some developing i don't know i was saying that to be polite but like but that one guy got booed off stage in montreal because he's been performing to fans oh well here's the other thing about that guy that guy go
up on a show world also comedians on and then at the end of his set says that comedy shouldn't be about about preaching it should be about making people laugh right it shouldn't be about ethics or morals such valuable race sexuality race and should be about making people laugh people pay to forget about this stuff you are on stay age not making people laugh that is what you're doing you silly faulk it is one of the silliest things i've ever seen in my life is like this is an he's essentially a beginning comic open open mike he's maybe been doing three years so he does like videos in the videos are very popular and the right money yeah if you're from the south the really funny to see unless someone's doing your shit stealing or stealing from somebody else just do your act
unless something happened before you that's so a gregis and ridiculous that you feel like you have to address it when you go on stage because it's just sitting in the room yeah and just try to do ever notice you know when you pick up your phone if you just try to do that and everybody's like what the do not gonna dress which just happens sometimes you have to dress we just happened like sometimes someone will go on before you and just eat so much shit you have have to say something you have to say something yeah you have to yeah but what if that guy did was ridiculous it's a to tell someone what comedy is and what isn't i'd said i read article about that this i'm assuming she's a gay woman wrote about like trash hannah gatsby and going hey we're gay doing stand up comedy we're not we're not just preaching where doing stand up comedy talking or trauma and it's working you just don't see us so don't this off as a company's because you don't see us i don't think hannah gadsby saying comedies dead i think journalists are saying com dead and i think we're all buying into it because these people were writing these are
goals they're not even in comedy there just kind the fans or fans of her and what i think she did and i'm only see part of it the whole thing are you right now let me has one joke i like a lot but it's whatever she does fine yeah i thing it's her artwork this is what she's doing it's it's if people enjoy that's great the problem with comedy is the comedy is one category it's just comedy but comedy could be cat stevens it could be guns and roses it could be the geto boys you know i'm sorry yeah it's like when you go to see music there is very genres there's no this just comedy comedy is just comedy like you could go see a folk sing and what they're doing on stage like really slow and quiet is music but then you go to see fucking led zeppelin you go okay well that's music to how the fuck is that music you you know how was klay crew the same kind the is cat power how is that
how are they the same well they are both music just like we do comedy she's doing a version of comedy some of it is really funny and some of her just talking about stuff and like a vet serious way that's fine yeah we're not against each this is what's crazy everybody is like you know this is deconstructing comment comedy dead now like what are you talking about that's crazy we know she's doing what she's doing if you enjoy it and that's do you want to see more of go see that yeah that's what she great she great joke about unicorns that i i giggled out once a week i'll tell her jokes it's not on netflix you can see it when i one of my new more facts about unicorns and i did lesbians she goes there no fax about unicorns i was like that's a good fucking that's a good joke that is good joke yeah i mean that's her
that's right lesbians has been tarred tart of for pam i get it it's look people create unnecessary and artificial adversaries i really do i think this is one of the ones going on right now in comedy and i see all the time with this man that thing it's like status stop stop with the r it means i'd they'd i fall into a two i buy an two and i read some of these articles like comedy is not dead but the fuck are you talking it doesn't make any sense you read the article and you start thinking she said it like the way exactly you're like oh she's telling us i can't do come anymore she did say she is did something as someone entered is it that way and if she says she can't do common anymore that's fine too she could just do like now she's famous right she just do one woman specials or one person specials or one entity specials how i wouldn't say it joe can i see the gender i even like she doesn't
the genders off off subject you can't it's off limits gender imagining that when your kid if somebody came up to you one day you're going to have to ask someone whether there a boy or a girl and it's going to be very delicate you're going to have to ask them what their preferred pronouns are maybe like what yeah it's coming it's real soon like in one thousand and fifteen years and then everyone's going to be is going to be a lot of ambiguity ambiguity that's weird word ambiguity however say that word i'll say ambiguous but how often you see ambiguity i've never set it at a weird one i i'm so it's not a way from a lot of people especially after coffee ambiguity yeah if you but nobody would have ever anticipated that there would be debate about tran gender my daughters were outside of like one of the progressive bathrooms where not it's just the bathroom and my daughter's saw her first dick that way just pushed
the door because it's no man or woman and then she's like hi and i was like it's better to it's like why didn't the guy locked the door sometimes you don't i've you walk in and you're not thinking and don't lock the door but so did any sex bathroom or was it any gender bathroom i don't know they have i don't know you know i was in a restroom once a restaurant once and i was waiting for the bathroom with long fucking wait man and finally the door opens and a chick comes out the men's room and she looked at me like like yeah i was in the i was in the men's room but if i was in the women's room taking a shit what if you were in there a big steamer i did that coming off a plane from atlanta i would like to the women's room ireland lana losing on the flight this awhile ago head headsets in hoodie on about to take a shit like forget no we put out my pants and i walked into the bath
star should ing had to listen to music start sweating little books it's a hot in there take the hoodie off take the headset telling her women's voices in a like lying on the i was sitting in the women's bathroom i did that the calmest or want to take a leak in the women's room i didn't realize it when they put those new bathrooms on the side hallway yeah is it because it for a while was you it was like a men and women's bathroom and then they open up the men's bathroom over there and i walked in and was girl and i'm like yay how's crazy roman here together by isn't it funny that you can be next to people here's what i thought about it right it is something implied because generals are involved right you could be standing next to those same people in an elevator it would be fine i kinda guys doing everything is fine but if you stand next to you people in a bathroom like no no
private parts nadie parts booby pp yeah you know like this something dirty about even if everyone is just wash their hands close to each other in the sink it's like everyone's creep i can't wait to get the fuck outta here the attention so thick that's in the bathroom it's crazy that you can just sit people know you can't you can't see i grew up with his for the dudes like we used to ship on a dude like if if like and i'm i'm still kind of like this but like if me and you were talk i'm like him and i gotta take a shit i would've shat and you would have stood there and i would have finished telling you i bet joey diaz is that kind of guy do joys taking horrible shits in front of me yeah i saw already knew it online remember that jew clam video i was there oh my god i remember seeing that i was on the road in a green room and i saw someone like a fusion organs asshole and i like i have not yeah he had a hemorrhoid problem and that's to put it mildly
he still has them with is still do when we were when we were in atlanta he was like how much blood you can't be in a toilet after going to the bathroom alot blood uh i don't put that up don't put that up don't put that up don't put up i was just telling jamie back like before you got here how important those videos were all the videos you shot with brett with red band and ari and joey the joy karate video all the stuff you guys used to put online that's so important to where you are today in my opinion what do you mean man the iphone found that stuff when you tube started blowing up that stuff was in such heavy rotation for comics like you'd look for comics and you were recognizable because of fear factor in news radio but i've got to videos and i probably watched
every single one of the videos you guys shot as as did all of us tom did all of us just because it was like it was the content we could find that's what we're talking about with twitch is i get on twitch down start uploading content because one day someone else it go i know that guy and i really i believe that you go we're so ahead of that curve where people like i'm not i don't even know how to upload a video you guys edited great content hack burned columbus ari dealing with a heckler in dc the feminist arguing with you that guy you choking that guy out the store like those were because we like i'd watch him four five times but there was a lot of but you know what what was really good about it was red bands he doesn't like to do that though it's too time consuming and he's too lazy he just doesn't like to do video but he's really talented like this video editing skills like batman see
video that was part of why that video was so popular because a long video but his editing skills are so good what was the music played dead end time thought and time and time but and pen pen pen and pad to get it with the music was perfect yeah it was the whole thing was you know it's he's a really good editor he really he's really talented at it but it's so time consuming it drives him nuts that he'd rather just fuck around podcasts and have a good time but when he was do like when we were going on the road together and use film in a lot of stuff and spicing things together we can make a video every couple months or something like that it was really fun it was it was an interesting experiment just to fuck around i got into when i got into vlogging and jamie was right there when i started blogging so we were both found casey neistat i think at the same time and i got really into blogging and i loved it man i think i'd maybe did like forty episodes and it was just fun but i started realizing it was in cash analyzing my life to a point where i wasn't living an authentic life at all
right i wasn't writing any material i was just shooting everything everything was shot like if i saw you i be like i wouldn't be like oh cool i get to hang out with joey you know the trap people fall into you know i mean if you look at some peoples instagram stories like what are you doing man you have a meal dots two grams like little tiny dots duh duh duh duh duh like your whole day the your whole day you have just a phone in front of you we just have like constantly battery chargers and you're just constantly charging of your phone in film and video this is crazy i do it this way i look at instagram i do it i'll do stories aggressively if i'm running the trap on running a marathon doing a big right yeah and i did and that's what i'm we are not to tip the hat or whatever tell you guys my business plan but that's what i do like i like to do big things and then that's how my stories and then i'll fuck around on the weekend and i'll put up maybe like three stories day five stories today and show you my life a little bit but for the most part like i try to i try
distance myself from it for two reasons number one of folks i eyesight like if i'm on my phone oh yeah eyes are fucked yeah and two it does cannibalized your life but what would like what i want to do i think the next level is businesses is honestly like a going backwards and doing what you are red band were doing with those videos but getting yourself out of it and a guy like red been who that's his job it's hard though see the thing is with the garlic red band it's that job is very hard to do a job just gets so he could brian is uniquely talented at that you know i think that's like his greatest talent he's really good at making videos but like i said he doesn't like to do it and a lot of people don't like to do it because it's time consuming so you could just take stuff and just cut it and paste it but he did more than that he had speck
the facts in music and you know what he was doing was he was figuring out a way to make sometimes mundane situations interesting an interesting situations way more interesting yeah it's hard to do selective you to like say you know you want to get you like you have to find a guy like you almost like you have to get brian to start doing it again i i i've i'm definitely with jay we were talking about this i my next step is doing what you're doing on a much smaller level like getting an air we're getting a space doing my pod to my solo podcast out of there but then creating content what is your soul podcast have solo ones well i do solo projects talk to yourself nose called open tabs so i go through out on the weekend like when i'm normally killing time looking on the internet and i just leave all those tabs open on safari and then i go in and i just go through and close them and tell you what they are show you the video was watching like there's a lot of videos of you like all my friends 'cause i
watch all my friends do shit like bill what kills it on some interview i showed that or if you like like a lot of i mean a lot of them are like the interviews you have with these guys like david atia and and campaigns campaigns is like all those all those like really inspirational guys i'll pull up videos in them and then all sudden i'll get obsessed with flash floods the fucking flashlight too scary too there's this guy no joke like i think i'm a good comic these guys better at what he does but he tracks flash floods and he's like he's like on camera like ok i'm in this valley so see this cloud over there it's raining over there it should be doing some fifteen minutes alright we're going to do with it and this guy finds a plot of land where the flash flood or run and he can chase it and almost follow it follow it hop up on the bank and cut a corner and get in front of it again this guys so good at fucking following flash floods there's this girl this is what i found on the internet 'cause i get online there is this call kimmy warner ok this grows the best
i'm obsessed with spearfishing right now and i've never fishing were done in my life spuds ceste was pure i was spearfishing videos go maybe eight hours a day why do you like when i'm in bed and you know when you're killing time kimi warner pull up king winner this woman is fucking amaze there's a the picture person with a great white shark two dot kinda spearfishing woman coming on next week valentin in thomas i don't know her googling the fuck outta her google valentin thomas she's coming on next week she was a lawyer who quitter gig and it became like a very active and active on social media spearfish she's beautiful where she out of the keys she's in florida somewhere but leave on the west coast of florida is a big spear fishing community shooting a lot of hog
groupers by the way this is where i talk about something i've never done we should do it although i'm in i'm in let's do it i wanna spearfishing apparently it's like hunting underwater dude in see no now are you ready for this this is what is wrong with me is that i've watched so much spear fishing i'm going to talk about it intimately the thing about shooting out on the west coast of florida's they use a lot of hawaiian slings alright very different than the average spearfishing what's a hawaiian sling i'm glad you asked joe two rubber bands and use coat and then it's kind of rubber band with us yeah pointy stick right wing kimi werner goes she's got like string like show shoot a tuna and it'll take all in short hold on and ride with it oh jesus yeah it's ride the tuner i think it's just based on the depths of where you so when you hunt over on the west coast and now i'm talking out of my ass do not listen to anything i say anything it's a lot of shallower shoots it's like thirty feet a lot of reef shoots out in hawaii
kimmy warner goes down like one hundred feet and chills wo and just chills and one hundred feet is deep one hundred feet mean you would be good in the bar thomas yeah but hindu bahamas six feet yeah that's what i'm looking at just over your head we could still sand get down to nine if you getting crazy get down nine you can push off the bottom and pop back up again bro i'm obsessed with spearfish such such a cool way to live your life operates on a bunch of it yeah i would i would love to try it looks like fun she in why did me valentin invited me to go next week but however that i'm going to go to san diego they're going to tune a spear fishing relish those those civic ocean spear fishing the day i think is a route to a little bit of a sports sport like could you got to really know how to hold your breath for a long time it's different i think so i think because of deaths like every thing is pretty shallow out on the west coast and the east coast
please close everything is pretty shallow everything all the keys you're doing like fifteen feet one thousand five hundred and twenty feet tops but but on the west coast everything is a tad bit at least from what i've been watching with kimi werner there's took me warner and there's a video of her know shit hanging out at one hundred feet just with the spirit just she's waiting dish got four one slash two minutes kill why not four one slash two minutes he's holding our breath day she can hold up so she's free diving no tanks all free diving in like in like camouflage camouflage not afraid of sharks love sharks go to heck suit is you ever heard of a hex suit they got this suit called h e c s it's like a suit that there there's some it's based on something i think it's called the faraday cage and what it does is it hides your electrical signal and one of the things about fish is it fish
apparently they read your electrical signal like feel like you you can take a there's certain machines that like you could hover your hand over him and it'll register that electrical signals coming off of your body but then when put this hex suit on you run your hand over the same exact machine it shows nothing really yeah so this suit is something that it's very controversial in the hunting community 'cause some people don't believe it really works there's no real clear absol with studies that it works on animals but there are clear studies that it shields your body's electrical signal and but it works pretty unequivocal blee on fish on fish it's crazy you pull up hecs suit hcs suit video fish rick roll into the water like predator put yeah you put gloves on you put a suit on and they can't see you
like for whatever reason you can get right up to them it's fucking weird man but yeah you get right up to fish right up to chorales they get right up to coral reefs see now here's the thing i don't know how much this would happen exactly the same way if this guy wasn't wearing this suit 'cause i don't really i don't really have that information but i do know that people that spearfish and people that like are involved with underwater diving and they swear by these things by they did they say it absolutely works and they had it on shark week two they were using it on shark week do some about those suits yeah i don't know i was going to go out to the great brief with ari if tom is going out there at the same time we're all three going go dive at the great barrier reef dua lipa live aboard actually i've been talking back and forth about finding a place to do a live aboard and go or the other boat we stay for like four
as you do two times a day do yeah wow like wow adventure or is all about living life and if i can move fold that into my family and let my wife understand that like you know it's a quarter i gotta do something crazy you know then and my wife's like uh she's cool that we talked to what's the ultra marathon runner that you had on courtney do alter nope zach better is that better me and ari we're going to find a international marathon to do together like find an inter national really twenty six yeah your liver fast diet coke man let me tell you something i've always had respect for like i've always had respect for cam never never anything short of that but when you run a marathon the respect you have for cam
pains and guys like david gogans enters a new stratosphere yeah i can only imagine you're like like when david goggins says embrace the hate embrace the suck just just decide not to quit that's where my brain when i went into marathons like side not quit and it twenty two miles both my i have just seized up my quads went in my legs and the woman in front of shit her pants and i was like you watched their ship i watched her shit her pants a grown woman like an executive shit her pants went down one leg and upper ass and i went since she stop nope she kept going gangster but that that smell i know that's when i started running pastor i was like fuck this bitch i was like please let it be an exact from fx or something be like oh hey that would be hilarious but those guys like i watch cams videos now of him running in the afternoon and running he's doing a marathon today just need he's running and the way he talking as he's running is inspiration
beyond measure from a guy like me where i go i want to get there like i want to get like he's i can i can i can i can i can can't put into words now he's now many works full time job actually me away yeah are you not drinking for how long i just haven't been for how long not i mean i will but not on stage now i mean i'll take a drink with me at the end of the night like when i tell the machine story on the second show i'll have that drink that's it yeah what's going on nothing man cleaning it up now i'm just i don't know i don't i don't know growing up no i know still party but like yeah like if i saw you at the store tonight i still party and smoke and but i just i don't know and there's no real this is what sucks about being me is like they will go with what's going on are you sick so i'm going on you're like not just i'm also regular yeah that's fine yeah nothing wrong with
then i'd i you know i did the triathlon and i didn't drink leading up to it and i did it and i felt really good i just felt really good i thought and you know so you know when you have friends that i'm forty five and so you start saying friends that lifestyle starts to if act in different ways and you go ok i want i don't ever wanna quit drinking i don't ever want to quit smoking weed i'll never go with orion run a marathon and then not do mushrooms with buenos aries i want that to be a part of my life but i can't have that if i'm going at the pace i'm going at like i can't i can't have both well started to rely on your body a lot more thank you what you're doing with all this running and you know these were the top what was that one that you did where you have to do all the obstacle course starace spartan race doing a triathlon you lying on your body part of for recreation now is relying on your endurance and when you doing
that and you drink it at the same time you just shooting yourself in the foot yeah i mean i like i said like we did the spartan race in right after you set up in the stands i don't have some beers yeah a couple beers yeah yeah maybe ahead of a vape pen and then you just go home you get a good night's sleep but you're right i think for me training for the travel on was just i couldn't do both i just was not labeling to do both and then when i got done i just you know i think a lot of like i was thinking about last night i didn't drink i didn't drink last obviously a numb and i was like i was in the shower today i had a really but i'm sleeping last night i was up all night i've just been doing a lot of press and so i think you empty your serotonin 'cause you give everyone and everything yeah and i was like i was up all night with like a little bit of panic attacks and i definitely would have drank last when you get a panic attack what does that mean like what happens me you kind of get blinders on and four
me personally i will start saying the same phrase over and over in my head again or i can't get it out like a like right like like my brain will go satellite of love satellite of love sarah lineup love satellite and then i'll start so in like last night at afraid going through my head and i was like foxy alarm on is the alarm on an i get up and i go check the alarm and then i get in bed and i go i should make all the doors are locked and then i go to check all the doors and then i get up oh did i lock the man cave i gotta get my lock the man cave now normally that's where i will start like if i have a few drinks that does not happen you know it's weird but jamie was talking about this too it's at night at night when you get weirded out it's like when you're getting ready to shut off it's like can i shut the body off yet is everything cool i think meditation might help me because i can just i can't shut my brain off and then i'm like
lego tank for man cave i would take up all of my mail picture what makes a man cave like can office right it's like half of this probably you fitted tank in there you really big in my man cave it'll be really big in there they could stuffed in there you don't have to on that big they they'll have us they have a smaller one some they have like one it's like a six by seven or four for four by so fourteen by seventy i would rather probably i'd rather sauna i love song i love those threads on us i love those song is great too yeah yeah yeah he was thinking about it i was thinking about it this morning in the shower and i was like you know what man the sober october we did was so helpful because i learned how to cope and go to bed with nothing and like with nothing no naik will know nothing super helpful and then i learn little tricks like drinking on planes i still may have few drinks before going on a plane or a couple drinks on the plane but the difference is if
early morning flight i don't need a drink to get on the plane need i don't need it right for where's of ways i just said i just gotta do it you know it was helpful for me too but you know is really interesting is it may be realized what was happening to you dreams when you're smoking pot all the time because as soon as you stop smoking pot and then your dreams become super vivid like really vivid like excruciatingly vivid strange bizarre you like oh what am i doing to myself with the weed all the time yeah that's probably not good for my dreams i want those dreams delivered one the crazy ones you take alpha brain i do die to go to bed i took out my wife stop i was i was a lunatic on alpha brain 'cause i could feel it real immediately if you take it before
take a double dose so if i'm like these packets you're supposed take one pack and i'll take two of these packets with some water before i go to bed and then you know it made an hour before you go to bed and with no pot and alpha brain you will have lucid intense fucking dreams yeah there in tents they're in their durable like you realize your dream and they're either they don't wake up ugh there they they get lucid and you're in the middle of him you know the way to describe lucid dreams like lucid dreams a like a delegate bubble that a kid would bloke ending kinda almost catch her hand and pop it pops these were like basketballs like they weren't popping yeah it could be in the middle of gemaco i'm going to dream ok now went around dream was just keep going and they wouldn't knock me out of the dream by recognizing that i was in a dream which ordinarily would immediately do it ordinarily i'd be like oh my god i'm dreaming well i'm waking up yeah and then you just wake up
i could keep myself in that lucid dream state for a long time i lucid dream naturally and i have fucking in i have comma sent a show coming central based on my dreams i've been saying drinks you should try it do you know a per acid timmons heard us up it's another neutral pick it's our real potent treatment one the interesting things about nutro pics is there's a ton of 'em there's a lot of different ones one and they found recently is creatine they found the creatine boost your your your mental performance yeah really yeah creatine's a lot of benefits meant because you think about it right she makes your body retain more water as well right it's one of the things that people don't like about it kind of gives you like a chubby face it's like you get a little little bloated on it but what that's doing is just retaining more water but if you have more
water it also makes you stronger but could applets proven like over time taking creatine is supplement it's very effective it really does make you stronger makes you bigger so you got to think like all that is like all this tissue and all this water it's it's probably just everything is healthier and probably the flow of everything's healthier to the conductivity of it all obviously i'm not a scientist but i would think that all that makes sense like the your brain works terrable when it's dehydrated like have you ever been dehydrated and try to think it's your brain is so weak it's incredible how much dehydration affects the way your brain performs but on the other side it should be that well if you really well hydrated your brain would probably work better and the only makes sense it's amazing how important water is fox
everything i got this nutritionist when i started doing the raffle on like men's health covered it like they doing documentary on it what are they doing with the whole tree they hit me up and they're like man this connor read really cool guy is like he's just a fan of what we do things like men love sober october i love you and tommy's bets you know like there's a lot of people is bizarre a sound whatever we decided to do with these competitions that got inspired lost a ton of weight and yeah i've seen a lot of that it's awesome and amazing man like husband and like guys you hit me up in like i'm running my first marathon i'm running my first spartan race i'm meeting my boss you are doing it when you're in columbus can you come hang out with us and it's real is i know tom and i've talked about it a lot it definitely was not our intention but we just wanted to fuck ground and then we all did sober october at their do their people to come up came up to me at triathlon this guy willie nelson's his name and he's like he's like bro is likely
get the machine and it fucked it so brought over with you guys i was like for real he's like dude no booze no drugs keep fucking believe it and i'm like yeah i'm right like we the same month i'm doing it again i'll do it yeah i'm going to do it every october i'm just going to make it a thing we should do something else to like right now it's almost september because it like to 20th or something what is it 23rd it's not a lot of time do you have a month to figure it out like what do you mean add another thing inside sober october yeah i mean we could be sober and we could do the yoga classes we could do it and not getting time to do this yoga classes in this amazing for them that that that was also amazing i did nine in a row did nine days in a row just to whack it out yeah and when i did that i was like what's amazing like we if you just know that you have to do it you just do it yeah but if you don't know you have to do it you find all sorts of reasons to not do it like a child to school of weights i yeah now just go for a run yeah i'll just go do this by
it's like i have to get seven more these fucking things in in the next fourteen days i just doing right now yeah you know it was cool is it's this sounds silly but now i have hi yoga in my you tell utility belt worth of workouts where i go sometimes i'll go like like i'll come off the road and i'll be like maybe a booze that we can all be like monday i'm doing hot yoga and i'll go to hot yoga and and i know how the poses i don't have i'm not embarrassed i know i got them at like doing your first you embarrassing little bit but when you go back can you do it again and you just pour sweat you like shit i'm going back tomorrow and then of course you don't but it's courageous when you see people going to those classes that are like really obese and they they just take that risk of being an almost naked in front of these people yet shorts on and some lady just did the other day her first class and i was like that lady took well obviously
is not physically fit it's not that active this is probably like super nerve wracking for her to do she took up balls the chance it's it's tough to do stuff to do anything it's tough to you know it's tough to four can take up a you know abboud kettlebell class to stuff you got in there it's weird you get weirder out when i was when i started the training and i had to go to a pool and swim and getting a speedo now i wear speedos all the time but for where one like for real yeah for real for real like to now i do have to wear one what is it that much better than shorts all my god the dragon is like it's you glide like a dolphin will you ever jack off with too much lotion and like i do i feel a need to drive some of this off as a bad example splitting super is visiting to me but yeah i went in the ocean recently was in italy last week no swim in the ocean as realism wow it's so much easier to swim in the
ocean yes water to float yeah it's so it's so it's like way easier yeah a little easier it's like easier open water swimming in in salt water in like the malibu be coming up that one it's it's tough the half mile swim but you're in a wet suit and your buoyant and you're in the saltwater swimming near great white sharks i'm doing malibu near white sharks there everywhere around when you're not packed like that well what's the odds you get bitten just getting to the center is this center that's where they go right for the middle shoot up just that movie the meg supposed to one of the worst movies of all time grill seen that movie they say is doing great at the box office this where everyone's an idiot it's supposed to be so bad it's a big shark to just fucking nobody saw before who here it is if doing as good as crazy rich asians all crazy wrist agents killing it
good reason it's killing me yeah yeah yes i want to see it the mag what's a guy ninety one percent like this movie forty seven percent rotten tomatoes six to on imdb that's not bad like what's the what is the worst received movie recently it's been some really really bad ones right i got this and i could i could come up with this guy i there were one that came out recently and everyone trashed it not i'm not going say no i got a movie didn't get like movie that's it yeah the gotti movie he's how to get down ask see i just a movie i liked and everyone trashed yeah kelly the owner of the
yeah yeah we gonna do it's fucking business i don't want to get into i don't ever want to do that i see tom doing it now is doing some movies and like yeah good luck you know it's nice to see him blowing up but that movie thing is a trap you get on those for sixteen hours a day and everyone's depressed every tired and everyone's on anti fucking everyone everyone my god given a movie set you talked to actors but what they're on well you know my my wellbutrin wasn't and it for me so i got on lexapro and i'm on zoloft and i really find it just it's really bouncing me out and i started taking this i started taking that xanax little here a little bit like whoa everyone is on something fuck that you go to columbia
for eight weeks he live in columbia into the my my other i know mark what we're good at mile twenty two he's lived in colombia for eight weeks that i much rather just to stand up here mind doing i'm done i mean joke in i would love dream my dreams doing what i'm doing right now but i like to experiment span that if i could do my own thing and expand that that's my goal moon but if you said part of the this easily like a news radio like a like an ensemble cat that was hard to men i would love a multi kim well it's fun if everybody gets along but you got to rely on all those other people to keep their shit together and you know goes sideways and then on top of that the sometimes the scripts don't work and sometimes when the shows not doing well then you have exact the chime in i honestly think the like what you're one with like something's burning like that kind of that's way better man like your thing you do with
comedy like this cooking show that kind of fun should with is no real losses is way better for a guy like you are calling me a great podcasts kind of thing you're never going to be able to be really authentically yourself with all these executives and producers in network notes and all that shit they don't know what the fuck they're doing man that they just don't occasionally you'll get good advice but when something gets through with that that sort of system and becomes a hit it's almost by luck it's almost like wow what are the odds it's like a salmon making its way up a river like why would it go up river the fuck are you doing this is a terror way to go you to jump over a waterfall that is so stupid makes no sense so dumb yeah but the one that makes it in spawns like look this is our system it works for you okay i guess this is it but it's almost like that it's like you're doing
something that's like so counter intuitive you doing something creative and you're being judged and then ordered around by people who have zero creativity they're not funny yeah if they're funny they'll be comedians they're not funny but yet they're telling you what to do and then you have to think about their notes and you got to bring in the gay roommate and the fucking the black neighbor the hot chick on the street that everybody wants to fuck and everyone is like tripping over yeah so i don't know thanks man so we went into only women did that first something's burn it's me bill and tom and i walked on set and i said i'm super difficult to work with just want everyone to know that don't anyone stop me twenty one do anything i'll let you know when starting to let you know we're done and they're like okay just cover everything don't ever ask you stop and do anything just cover everything that's a problem they go stop we rewind say that again what the camera on me and stay out of the picture just leave me alone they don't
stand that every time you break that i meant to me now i'm thinking about you and i'm thinking about the camera and i have to reset again yeah so we did it we did me in tom and bill did that first one just one take both county boe time both when i like i five forty five minutes like perfect we should we got it all they got up i think there it almost all of it and then everyone loves mentally and by embody lee came and same thing i was like not a thing to the best ones shop and buying caroline to me or my favorite could you see bernie shop and a pot he's so fucking funny in that funny dude he so fucking funny in that that like cook oh my god joe we could crab a we had to kill them on air and you have to a humane way yeah in order to do it it's killing the main way you mean in order to do it in order to crab legally especially on youtube how to kill a humane way yeah so you got it within six seconds dude i shot a
the bow and arrow on you go it's you watch elk get shot through the with a bow don't even have to be careful with the crab all i know is that one note we got we even have senses well king county is that there were doing did he was funny how to kill it as you start by lift up their deck and put when they have a deck i think so think that's what it is and you jam put in and then wham it in what is it the knife oh what the you bring each lift up their dick and you jam it in i'm thinking you're jamming their dick in where are you putting it no you take them now he laid across to death bro you lift up the dick you pop the knife in and then you've got to the other side of it within like six seconds not humane death for the crab otherwise they're suffering so i show that to brendan brands like no bro i'm definitely not fucking doing this and brian just goes i'll do it
and literally like the barber of seville goes through and kills twenty fucking grabs like this i made him chiappino and neither of them thought they'd like it and i loved it what's she that's like a soup it's like a yeah it's like a here once you find what you're looking brian he's definitely daddy's cut in half and the woman it houses who buys a humane could put a weird thing like you have to kill them humanely as opposed to boiling them alive is at the idea yes i i guess i'm not rule server will them alive but like with lobsters there is boil them alive yeah and they'll tell you're supposed to boil them alive but i'm like you mean supposed to like says who like what happens if you don't boil them alive what magic doesn't you know what magic leaves their body where they don't take is good if you don't boil them alive yeah i don't know about that come you can't just cut their head off and then they're dead and then you
when the boiling water like what is what's happening here what do they need to be kept alive that's of well we want to be fresh right yeah there's a big difference in seafood seafood and freshness does that that's huge like you don't see dry age seafood you know like if you get if you get a piece of beef from a restaurant like a steak a lot of times aged because the bacteria on the meat actually starts to break it down and it makes it more tender and it actually gives it a lot that mold that they cut off of it you ever see dry age beef before they slice it up now or ready okay show him the sears c a there's a guy that i i follow on instagram that was doing something insane like i think they had lego
two hundred day dry aged beef which is just like even hearing about that you like what in the hell you know that's what it looks like yes that's a dry aged beef look like it looks like it's a raw cotton like rotten meat and you lose some of the meat i mean it's the wasteful in a way because the out side edge that black shit they cut all that off so you're losing yeah so you find a video jamie of trimming just google trimming dry aged beef and look up youtube yeah that turned me on to the guy that had his own fridge and was doing in his own fridge in his garage oh yeah i know a bunch of guys who do that yeah it's like he was doing with elk dry aging out maybe yeah yeah i know quite a few guys do that so this is dry aged meat so look at that the outside look looks rotten man and take the outside and you you cut
into it and then i guess he's going to cut all the fat off and he's going to turn it into steaks and we're going to do with all that fat that's interesting was thrown in the garbage so this fat is it one easy throwing that away so he's just gotta seems like that fat away so he keeps a lot of the fat on and the fat on top yes dry aged so we probably take any beef on top he just losing the sides well yeah you're losing the outside edges in this particular cut but on some steaks you know it depends on how long is dry aging it to like when some people i really ham with that shit don't you know like i said they're dry age for hundreds of days there's a stuff they're doing now where find this dude on the instagram do you do that with elk no i don't no i get you and cam on burning yeah will do it i would
that can't cook though you know dudley ken dudley can cook his ass off i'm the cook i'll cook for you guys yeah you know do you know how to cook i know how to reverse here but have you ever fucked around with wild game i'll give you some today an you could fuck around with it and then if you get it right you know we'll figure out a way to do it i'll give you some recipes and stuff but it's not it's not that difficult but it is it's more tricky than beef beef is hard cup especially like fatty beef because there's so much moisture you know whereas elk is basically you're you're basically eating a body builder yeah reading an athlete you know and it's just a richer darker me and has very little fat in it but if you do it right it's fair
and tastic if you had it before i've had i've had your ground elk that's that's good but that's hard to like the right way to do it is to do an elk steak i got a set up that god damn grill out here but we don't know how to have proper ventilation i got one of those yoder pela girls in the back there but we don't know how to get the proper ventilation we might need to get some sort of a a permit put like a vent like they would do with a kitchen damn i can't find these guys this one i'm no where gourmet meats what is he got going on bunch of stuff see if you find like just google try five hundred day dry aged beef on youtube holy yeah these guys don't fuck around i tell you one one of the coolest things you turn me on to what fucking adam greentree
due to his insta stories like i get bummed when i when i skip from on one of those epic yeah i know he he does not fuck around dude that guy he goes out by himself by himself months at a time extreme age steak what does it say in their four hundred and twenty days this was four hundred on this one oh go to four hundred let's see what that looks like it probably looks terrible when they start cutting it up see back it up a little bit so i just saw this online the other day like i i saw this and i didn't click on it so that it's real weird man i mean your base like letting it rot you're relying on the bacteria to not completely flourish like you have to have a certain temperature i think they key but somewhere around like forty degrees or something like that and it's drive like look at death looks terrible the los a rotten piece of meat you're supposed to eat that you haven't made the out of it but if
that is so weird dude that's so weird it's even look read anymore i mean it's white and i think this is that's why do you i set why'd you why'd you what's the other word for that is another word kobe yeah feeding so keep it going affair with their own so he's he's going to sear it i guess yeah and then throw some time oh and then he's going to sue v if you ever two v i have it takes for ever to sue the eggs doesn't our really for soft boiled eggs yeah a love song thanks sue these interesting men because you could have something and cook it like say at one hundred and twenty five degrees which is like where you want your steak to be and you could have it in there for hours what you do is take a steak and you got a vacuum sealed soon be them
and then you can just let him see you knocking over cooking the men sear them see that some butter and garlic yeah or with a blow torch i do a blow torch sometimes wow now they have suvi torches look at other guys go the butter and the time oh sweet baby jesus we doing here you fuck look at him with his camera slicing it open that's four hundred day dry aged meat looking at me sending a mouthgasm oh foodies are such dorks they just they just get so into it they just go get so into it man when you go travel when you go to like thailand and stuff do you get foodie and go in and try to find some dangerous and crazier do just pretty much stay i didn't eat bugs but some really hot food yeah yeah no bugs they did try to serve me bugs might be the host of fear factor for six years that on my face the wrong it yeah not interested in your book not only that doesn't gross me out at all like nothing grosses me out like eating bugs or anything throw up our
your wife threw up in her car one time i think i was i came i came over there and you we're cleaning out your wife's car so we doing here like all my wife threw up all over car one of green drinks and i was like you can't bring up sierra in brought up throwing up the other day just brought up throwing up and i started gagging on his podcast yeah i'm immune i saw some we will throw up i've seen hundreds of people throw up right in front of me and i have talked to them whether piquant and i diss a learned skill because when i first doing a show i would gag when i would see other people do it but yeah but then after a while it just went away like that part of me is dead is dead so when my wife threw up in her car also i'll clean it give a fuck that's why clean and i cannot do that i can't even my kids throw up on chrome starter on your own clean up all the puke if my kids puke i am the designated puke cleaner hundred percent of the time one hundred percent a top someone throws up in the bad or somewhere else i put i clean it up did i can
i'm back from utah one time and i was fire in hot and i'd had a crazy weekend and i just it wasn't feeling right thank you and we went made a big dinner and i don't feel good i'm bad i'm in a row but many yankees robe that and i get up like i'm not feeling good and i go into the bathroom and i notice shit but i start throwing up before i can shit and i sit in the road and i shit in the robe and throw up on my lap and my wife's a thug she went we got this get you in the shower i'll take care of it wow that's a good woman right there yeah that's a good woman right there yeah man literally unless i'm out of town my wife does not clean up puke she would tell me that the kid puked they're not clean it up really yeah 'cause she'll start throwing up and i won't at all does she she takes care of the chickens though yeah sometimes
we have a guy that we hired to that will take care of the chickens sometimes like especially when we're not there he'll handle certain things like you have to chickens or a little bit effort you know you gotta clean up the cage you gotta collect the eggs every day we had some squirrel stealing eggs we had a real issue with that i got a squirrel that i have to hose out of our chicken coop yeah well marshall took care of that marshall had thought sub squirrels dude marshall is the sweetest dog of all time and less your squirrel then he's the devil i mean i know i've seen a dog so determined to kill a squirrel it's crazy he goes out now he looks for them he runs to the chicken coop and then he circles the chicken coop look and see where these the fuckers getting see if anybody's around there see if anybody slipping but was on the road my wife sent me a picture of marshall with a squirrel in his mouth and she's so happy because she is like squirrels because squirrels are up all the they steal all the chicken food yeah i like i like school
i think they're cute so like for me i'm like so what they steal the chicken food get make more chicken food but then they start stealing the eggs and i was like oh you should push up and you can't steal my food that's my food you can't steal the eggs let me find this for our chickens are family members yeah they are right yeah i came home when it was like him was like one hundred and twenty and all the trees were dying and i walked in and leanne had chickens in the house she's like they can't be out there it's too fucking hot yeah but they do they have to be out there oh my god yes he's all this is this is ingrained in his dna one hundred percent is mount resoft so he doesn't like he's like i want to get back to you fully intact so that you can't so that if you need this is that blood on his chest yeah it's blood well he brings things to you always 'cause he's a retriever so he has a little box of stuff toys that he has in the house and he's the only
dogs that have ever had that doesn't mangle every toy you give him 'cause i've had pit bulls and mastiffs and you give them a toy they just they just start tearing apart he just carries him around he carries him running brings to you so like when i see him in the morning i'm like good morning sir good morning and he's wagging his tail is happy and the first thing he does is run over to his pilot toys grabs one that comes over with it brings you a present he has it in his mouth you know is is a retreat like if you see retrievers running a lot of times they're carrying their leash in their mouth as they're running they love to hold on to things that mouth weird is he diving underwater oh he fuckin swims like a mother fucker do do that dog is always in the water he just he will die from the deep end of the book of the kids are playing in the pool he uh now let him out the door he runs to the pool stands on the edge and then leaps to the water splashes how and loves it as you dive underwater though a little bit that's where we used to have a a seven black lab and you could throw one
those rings underwater and she dive to the bottom grab it and pulled up he doesn't do that i guarantee you he will i guarantee you he will i bet he would if i taught him how to do it but he swims like crap intentional those dogs my bullmastiff i cannot get her in the pool really she looks at me like like like you trying to pitch anal sex to your wife so i could come on grill pits we both know how this gonna go no one's going to be happy yeah johnny cash and people have asked me to have pictures in my other dogs they're actually both passed away now how to put in both both are now there up in the english the english bulldog shiblee nomics they were they're both third teen years old and johnny couldn't walk anymore it was it was a really rough the last few days of his life i would try to bring him in for dinner and when i would try to bring him in he literally could
make it there is a small yard with where where he was that we're talking about like you know fifteen yards he couldn't make it fifteen yards to the house he would like to take a couple steps in his body would shake and you take a couple of steps and he was just sleeping all day an he was also having a really hard time shitting and he would occasionally shit in the house like you couldn't hold it files and he couldn't go outside when he wanted to look at you see him trying but his body is so old from mastiff thirteen years old is crazy old like a lot of them died at like eight or nine and he was thirteen and he was sweet sweet dog up to the end but he he was you know he was suffering it was it was hard it's hard when you know them when they're a puppy and then
years later like you're kind of the same and there not men they're gone you know so i think about that with marshall 'cause he's only a year and a half and he sell full of life and he so fun he's so silly and playful and happy and mike man there's going to be a day where marshals this old old old dog and i'm going to have to put him down to it was depressing and the other one brutus the shibu eno english bulldog he was better than johnny for a long time still i've known for the last
two years that they didn't have much time left you know they were they were both struggling heart but brutus took a real hard turn over the last few months where he wouldn't even come in like i'd try to get him to come in my car my body you want to eat i try to put a little food in front of his face and he would try to stand up in his legs would be shaking and so hard man it's so hard watching them fade away you know and then also watch them suffer you know a lot of the last the last days where you have to decide where you know me and my wife had to have conversations like we have to do something like this is like one day we're going to come home is going to be a dead dog and it's not like they're having a good time like this is horrible suffering slow demise so do you have someone come to the house or did you take him closer off dude mister off
they're pretty priscilla seven and i i mean i got it when i first started doing this party issue one hundred and forty yeah that's big dogs had five knee surgeries oh my god that's fucking expensive to have no idea do you have an idea but you do yeah i had a female pit bull that had to a co reconstructions share both were back legs done she blew one out i got it fixed blew the other one out how to get that fixed too and we look up a dog they shave the bone down they don't like reconstructed with the ad like another ligament they shave the bone down so it doesn't so it like sit sound it differently so it locks in place so doesn't pop off and an end goal like out of out of socket or whatever the it is but
yeah that's fucking like ten grand a pop right oh i was i i mean i'm not going to tell everyone how much 'cause they would stop liking me into it would be like what kind in hollywood are you just like that but we got one acl and then we fixed it then the then while this once is turning good the other acl goes out so we fix that in a cart we're done and then as this one phelan this one goes out again and they're like and that's when they're like you wanna put it down i'm not sure i might not man i i'm i'm it was like five grand a pop i think and then then it even adds up more because then they're like we should keep her here while this well she's healing to do it diamonds as they're doing this one that somethings wrong with your knee cap and then they realize she's got you know it's over breeding in her bra interbreed their kneecaps are bad so they fix this one this one replace both or caps and then one more goes out there like alright but maybe
check hit that dog is the greatest fucking dog mastiffs are amazing but there's some my favorite dogs over there so chill dude this way we just don't like gets up in bed with you in the morning and just put her face right up on he just does one of those big cow breast like and you're like oh i'm here there's so relax too they're just a different kind of dog very relaxed and i feel comfortable when i go on the road i feel comfortable knowing there's a hundred forty pound animal that would give its life for my daughters one of the our dog sleeps on one of our daughters beds one of our dog sleeps priscilla sleeps in georges bed and i go i'm good no ones coming in anywhere and no ones breaking in anything i got a buddy was a german shepherd police dog and uh it's it's one of those dogs that has to be with all the time an train all the time but this dog
is it disturbing thing to have 'cause you basically have an assassin that lives with you there's just waiting for orders just waiting but my body my body's got a german shepherd that he hasn't quite figured out yet and you can't work a full time job and just leave that thing alone in the yard you just can't is it during intense dog their intent and they're smart as so in a weird way it's like dealing with a complicated chick you like like daddy issues by can't really out and i'm not spending a lot of time of time with you you can't fix them you could train a dog try training a woman get outta here you can't if you meet someone i don't hear a woman or a man you meet someone is completely fucking crazy you gotta get out of there you gotta go you can't just going to fix it we know a lot of people try to fix some like brian count when i first met him it was always trying to fix these crazy girls and i was like dude you got save yourself you got to save yourself man you can't fix someone you can't i remember the day
ok i decided i would never fix a chick again there's a one nice damned and i came in like fifteen seconds and she asked and i told russ i came and then i was about ok give me a second let me reboot go back at it but she was on top machines are you fucking kidding me and she punched the wall she goes you gotta learn how to really learn how to fuck you need to read a book get online and learn how to fuck only rolled out of bed and i was like i think you need to go home i'm not this isn't happening anymore and she was like excuse me and i was like listen i'm not your boyfriend and i'm not your fucking husband and what i just saw i'm not going to be able to help and she was like and then you can see in her eyes like i gotta get on a train to go to brooklyn she was like and they started getting pissed by the way i'm in my kitchen now in new york condom still on go to the this is but at that time i go grab a beer out of the refrigerator still naked condom on star trek
here my roommate we chill walks out like what the fuck i go i got it handled don't worry about it walker to the fucking door walking to the door this might be the most beautiful moment walking to the door and she's like are you fucking serious are you fucking like in my face and she goes pathetic your function like tries to humiliate me and i go listen i thought you came are one and she looks at me and goes like this thing goes like this goes like this and i flinched so fuck hardly we both start laughing she started laughing we both start laughing immediately and then she just smiles and goes it's four in the fucking morning in my apartment building she goes bert kreischer can fuck and starts banging on doors something alright this is over take the charge one a good catch cheaper number
father on facebook occasionally check and see where she's in jail you wanna hear a really great story so before i fucked her one night like i jacked off in front of her like not in the lewis way but like we both masturbate for lewis we both masturbate in front of each other in my apartment think we're doing coke and candles but in glass of wine and she's like i just want to like it was cool is playful and fun and we get done and she's like hey just so you know you can't tell anyone about this and i was like no she knew a bunch of comics in new york i can say so i won't tell a soul she's like promise i got next day tell everyone knows nope so the next day i'm walking into the boston comedy club and rich bosses out smoking a cigarette i go what's up and he goes heard you
right off of jennifer last night i know i was like one of those me to she needed a ride home from brooklyn one time oh fucking boss oh that's hilarious yeah god those are the days i those were the days would you would you if you could go back to one point your stand up career for one year you get a live one year in your stand up career you can't pick right now where you are right now but you got to go to one point when one year every day you show up do you like the store ninety seven when you're meeting ari and everyone and you and duncan duncan leather couch or what i don't know what year that was but around then or you go to the part where is that i mean probably one of the more interesting parts is like when you get banned from the store from them and see a shit and you're like literally like fuck it i'm a man on a mission fucked like that's one of the more interesting parts in your story of your life
in my opinion is when everyone fucking backed out on you and you were like no i don't go out like that mother fuckers and you just start fucking building what year would you pick i would pick the early days i pick like when i was just starting to get work when in boston is like a middle act yeah i'd pick those days doing weird shit erode gigs you know early 20s careless no no responsibilities no worries no nothing didn't even have a credit card had nothing those were the good days and a lot of ways it's not that today's not awesome today is way better for sure but is good about those days is that there's so much wild and freeness there's so much you know like i remember one time i did this gig in maine and then after the gig met this girl we had a couple of drinks were hanging out we're both like that image i think it was probably two thousand two hundred and twenty three
he's probably somewhere around the same age two thousand two hundred and twenty three and we're just young and it's summertime and we huh mount and we want to bang it in my car i had like a honda accord and one and we didn't even go in the back seat 'cause it was really barely a back seat right we like folded down the front seat flat and then the windows rolled down and we're just sitting there hanging out and laughing and i remember having this unique moment where i realized like this is not going to be my life forever i'm never i'm not going to be twenty a two years old with like one hundred in the bank not knowing what i'm doing not knowing where i'm going not knowing what the future holds but yet okay with you can only be ok with that for certain amount of years when you're forty five and you have one hundred dollars in the bank and you don't know what you're doing your careers not really established you don't really have a clear path that's scary that's danger
it feels like you're a loser you know you feel like you feel pathetic if like you haven't done what you need to do there's like a certain amount of discipline that you haven't taken part in and because of that your life is chaotic whereas when you twenty two and that's happening this it's like that bob seger song you know like what was that bob dylan ma'am no i don't know which one you know he's got a lot of songs about night moves he was like like a rock night moves but the idea of that you're recognizing that this is a unique moment in your use that it's all like who knows what's going to happen you dyna car accident tomorrow you know who knows you might never make it as a comedian you might take a job somewhere in you might always have regret right now you're having fun right now you're you're basically just a couple years out of high school and you know you're in your key did occur
comedy gig and now you meet in some pretty girl and you guys are laughing and you hanging out and having a good time and it's summer and the windows roll down and the air is warm and it's just something it was something amazing about it those days were fascinating men and greg and i fitzsimmons and i did a shit ton of gigs together we work together a lot back in those days 'cause we started out within a week of each other we were open mikres at the exact same time and we did a ton of gigs together yeah we basically we traveled all over the place together we did a lot of gig in rhode island and all over the place all the massachusetts gigs we did all those things together and what we we still to this day we'll look back and laugh at those days hey jamie jerrod carmichael is at the wrong spot tell jeff to get on the ball those days were there just they're just real unique
and that you really have no idea you have no idea you have no idea what the fuck the future holds it's a completely different experience you like your life is a completely different experience than it will ever be never again and i just i remember that i remember that moment i don't know why it's at one night with one world never talk to again you know is back then you'd have to call someone they have to be home like in one thousand nine hundred and ninety there be home yeah you called him on the phone soon as they weren't home be like welp against they're not home you know it's like wasn't it wasn't like today you could x someone or you can email the nope yeah that yeah call them at their house there's a few of those few those that are member yeah you know hello yeah those that are the idea that you did not phones but i'm amazing member road trips with tom we just would talk for hours hours we talked a whole we talked we drove to sacramento one time talked for five hours there
about ten hours you spend with human being no ones on their phone yeah there's something bill bought that right i think we're definitely missing something we definitely missing something with these phones but there were gaining something too we're gaining a lot more information i'll tell you what my kids haven't let anyone fire like we did that when we were kids with no phones with little kid on fire one time just 'cause we were bored yeah yeah yeah i don't know man this good and bad it's like it balances out i guess but if you had to go back to anytime you're your here when would you go just right when i first start headlining like right like that that first time i just had kids they were young i was may in one thousand three hundred bucks a week on the road and i was so passionate about stand up i was kind of hockey i bet but like i just would give everything every night you do a sick shows thursday through sunday and i'd fly in early
press and i get excited to do press and i come in and just be like and i have my notebook with me all the time and i was like i just every idea is like a brand new field like you feel like you're really just it's not like you just over the internet in every page had so much to offer and then and then i think i got into when i got enough when i got into travel channel stuff i kind of just kind of kind of took a second back seat and i and ourselves headline and i was like yeah i can do this confidently i think i'm there now like right now i feel like i'm back to this place where i go like i'm really just writing so fucking much where i'm like oh god like everything like i feel like everything that's the thing that happens when you have to do a special every couple of years when you're filming the one thing that definitely happens is you're forced into this creativity you're forced to wear
both aware of those people that don't write and they sit around for a long time with the same material and then it goes year after year after year and then it gets stay lawrence taylor and flatter and or the kind able to write the exact same joke next year their hours the same hours just is just a say it differently i think that was for me took this hour so fucking seriously i took it like i was saying to someone the other day i did one hundred and fifty sets i performed at our one hundred and fifty times before i did it on netflix or before i did it in the truck i did one hundred and fifty times i did the math while i like and i rearranged it like that working an hour and figuring out where to place stuff and figure out i wear stuffs you go i'm obsessed about that where do you film in the trocadero ah two shows it was fucking i mean the second show was a dream that's a great spot lowered the stage so that i'm in the audience i put a half moon in there so it wasn't just a little plank no smoke
machine i'd seen everyone had smoke machines i don't want to smoke machine and i think it really paid this sounds silly and you won't notice is when you watch a special but that place is so old there's little particles of dust everywhere you can almost see him in the back it looks like it's like little stars in the back i love it i love those of dust real it looks bad ass it looks fucking bad ass what is your writing process like do you write stuff out on paper do you write it on a computer how do you do it right i don't sit longhand anything anymore because it it just it end up losing so much i just it just doesn't help so what i do if i see something or something how it's usually something happens to maine and then i go oh that's the and i'll write it in my phone and i'll just put in my phone or all and i'll also write my book can i bring my book with me on stage and i'll go to my book and i'll see the one more thing and i said tell stories and i know i'm known for telling like twelve minutes stories but like most
my stories are a little tighter now and what i'm writing is a little tighter so i kind of work it out on stage mostly but i record every set i then go through the recording right and a lot of stage and i'll write down all like fuck that's funny and stupid silly lines and and so that's the part where i and then and then once i get it like that then i just and i i recorded again and i find the parts where the silence is or where i'm lazy where i go i need something i can't just go suck my dick and then that's the punchline but yeah i record it i write it but i don't on hand right at this just a more for me so when you say you write it like how you're writing a just writing like bullet points but yeah it's all right all right bullet points like i'm trying to think of the pope okay so like i booked the joke at my best joke i'm tellin right now without a doubt is about it's about kind about you but it's it's not about you at all but the opening thing was just some all i know the only part of tell you
i wanted to starbucks and i thought i was getting recognized the young black headband counter came up to me is like dude like oh my god adam idea and he's like i'm a huge which fan of joe rogan's so so then me and him out in that interaction and i made him laugh and i went oh that was funny so then the next day i came back and i made him laugh again and i went oh i know where this is so then i write it out and i figured out and then and then the next the other interaction was so big i realize twenty three of those so then i'll i'll punch it out but i and i and i find the things that make it rhythmic and the things like for me things that catch an audience is like i go and then he fell down and then when he with the so tell me he gets up leans up like it's almost the rhythm of the way to say it for me before along with the job if that makes any definitely the case like if someone's a really good story teller it's like there's a whole thing going on the fifth
single thing going on this rhythm something going on like stanhope is really good rhythm like when jokes he says like it's easier for me to talk about stanhope open about myself but like when he goes when he's talking about isis and how they recruit people and it's identical hot towel he recruits people i think it has goes i i'm working this corner like the phrasing of bill phrase for me bird as amazingly bird as it amazingly what does he say he does that similar to isis the video this is on his special so i'm not putting any jokes out this is on special talk talks about how isis goes online and find like the
like young man who can't get laid and have drinking and drug problems and and then they bring them in and they show them a good time and they get them drunk and he's like that's that's how i recruit people and is the line is so great he's like isis i'm working this corner such a great old barkers technique he's got the weirdest fucking life ever i he's basically got a little cult going on in arizona he wants to do sober october over come on the to take the classes you should make a should run a house forum in la so we give an incentive to come here i've been trying to get him to move back here forever and like what do you do with your little cult down come on man come hang out the store because he hung out the a couple nights he's like this place is incredible to me i go it's amazing i go to valhalla this is the craziest it will like it in terms of what i've experienced is a crazy era of stand up ever in the store is the app is center i'm mike you should be here all the time
he's like i was i don't know what do you mean you don't know your dog fucking stanhope get in here man go just get an apartment near here hey any great if he was here for all october we just talk some of the state i'm like why don't you get a place here n there you're a wealthy man of leisure do whatever you want he he is here i called him up all morning or one night it's like five o'clock at night and i was i was it as the bullshittin i go which up to and this is why i love doug cuz i'm having a grapefruit and vodka having a cigarette trying to think of some goofs what trying to rework work knock knock jokes i'm trying to make knock knock jokes present like let me run by and he tells me like his version of a knock knock joke and it's so fucking funny and i go i could tell how old like four thousand nine hundred and fifty and go and you're just sitting in your room tom is right groups he that's our life i was like yes yeah that's
is life my daughters will see me doing it where i'm like we're out to dinner is something will happen and i'll just be like like lmao thing to myself and work in the bit and they're like are you writing a joke right now and then i get sorry i get up and run i get out of the room for me right back right back oh me alone no i haven't if i have an idea and anybody gets in there the the real the ideals escape it'll slip away a good five an idea especially kids like young kids they just start talking like they just start and then they demand your attention and lighter you have to look for to haul capture a bit you have to have silence a you can't have people talking at you or you'll consider what they're saying like really yeah and then also just think it up it'll go away yeah so i could i treat those things like the gold like if i
i have an idea and it's a real idea like a real idea where i get excited i'm like oh shit i run i get up i get up off table grab back right back gotta go got an idea and people were not into that and don't get creativity and don't right or don't do stand up it'll weird am out oh yeah and you have to come back and apologize like sorry i just had an idea and i had to capture it in the moment i just have to write it down and i'll show it to him on my phone click on how to read i'm a daydreamer i literally i literally will sit and just talk in the middle of dinner with my family and just talk something out to be like so you can hold it while you're talking to them but other i don't know i'm tapped everyone out i top everyone out i tell my you uber drivers have been i'm not crazy i'm a comic and i do sit and i'll work a bit out like this like i got high as the other night i got high i got high as the other night this is my eyes is before the triathlon because i was the smoking pot up and known knows before the triathlon i walked in and
i walked in the house is way too high i was coming back from the store i guess an a walk in the kitchen and my bull mastiff is put away the silver ware what yeah scott elbow on the counter put away the silver ware put away the silver ware so i said and she looks at me like we're gonna fucking help and then i realize oh she's eating a cake on the calendar but i was so high and then a dog was eating a cake on the counter just up on it with hand stabilizing in just one and i started laughing so hard that my brain thought it was silver that i was like oh i walked right out to the man cave and joe i must have stood the for an hour trying to write that bit like just going did you take the take away from the dog yeah yeah it was a coffee cake it was a coffee cake were fine actually i went up and help to read it a little bit yeah she looked at me and she's like we're doing this together is like he will run it rain bitch and so but i went into the man cave and i just was talking to my wife came back and i'm i'm standing in the man cave just going like just hand
move like like oh my in shoes don't like my wife are you going to bed and i like i'm sorry i'm in the middle of a bit she's like alright just left i'll jump up in the middle of the night yes i have a bit and it's in my head and i'm in bed i've i've said to myself before i'll remember that and i never can remember ever never occasional the one out of a hundred times i'll be like taking a leak i'll go oh yeah and then i'll remember it yeah those jokes are slippery like new brandon said it best he said that he thinks of his notebook as like a net for catching ideas my cool i like that yeah it's a good way looking at it something on you at all times because something happens all the time we were like the phone is the best man i don't know if you use the dictation never do ever no no with oh yeah yeah yeah yeah talk and it'll it'll voice to text on the plane last night or
wherever i was yesterday night i was trying to type in white supremacist and it came up white supreme hoodie and i thought well that's funny that you try like i don't i want to order the white supremacist aryan accident like an easier than usual i just wear if there's nothing to it right now where i wrote it i go all right well what we got that the pocket yeah i got him all you never know what the up i just heard someone say however i have hundreds of them that never did anything so i'll go over through 'em like sometimes if i'm stale i'll just scrolling through my i go we got here we got here what do i got here oh yeah i never tried that and one of those i never tried i tried last night i doubt i cells there's something there there's something there it's not it's not good yet but there so it's a seed there's something there and you got water those seeds and you chances with them and you got to know how many of those duds seeds you can in a set while people are sitting there paying attention you got to give him real bits to
you got to also have last night anybody came to came show hope you had a good time but i had a for at least four solid died in their just try and i don't know where i'm going with them yeah then i go places like jesus would even saying like what why is so extreme that's all right i we'll go at the end of my so like i'll work everything that's working like right now i got about fifty two new minutes and so everything the that those quick when from one from a special how many months ago shot in february wow yeah i got fifty two minutes that i am why they spending that much time before they show it i don't know it's a long ass time to worry march april may june august august six months right allies is a little shorter but not much but just like a month maybe we got on the same day and so like that's great that you're worthy of fifty minutes
i do i just i'm back i like i'm i'm just in it i like it i'm i'm where i'm at i mean it's also my things the only thing i got that's make me money so that's where my eggs are as it is so much better than working for the travel channel you have no fucking i remember when you were doing it i was telling you like burt you're a funny guy man you could be made i live in doing comedy and not and not having these bosses and be on roller coasters every week and bite your tongue remember i used to smoke weed in here and you guys have to move the camera right yeah hi the wheat i don't remember that because it was so crazy but that's what happens with one of those gigs yeah howie mandel went on stage at the laugh factory once and he was talk about how scared he was that he could say something on h and someone could tell his bosses because he does a family show and that he get fired and like wow like you're a comic keys he's howie mandel do where i was s coming up just starting he
already had specials and they were really funny he was really fucking funny back then man is now back in the day some of those early cds really hilarious shit but it is still funny funny he's always going to be a funny guy but when i was she him say that i was like that is the craziest thing i've ever heard he's worried about getting fired for saying something on stage like saying in his act door talking about something in his act that someone deems to inappropriate for a family show and you can lose this gig at like america's it was the on america's got talent is that what is on the wall so you mentioned wanting that gig i can i can i can travel channel i mean i'm not i'm not travel channel very recently and asked me if i come back and the like would whatever you want to do and part of me is like i think i'm doing it i come i have a no look special i'm a podcast of a solo podcast i've got something's burning burn on the road
and stand up yeah i love writing i'm writing i'm writing faster and better now that i've ever and then in this special i mean the best compliment i've ever gone is tom watched it was like i had tears in my eyes in a q u e u it's not this is you it's who you are and i was like i was like man trucking i i wish you work for the new york fucking times like that is the greatest but but like like what am i going to to jamie about it after there's like i wouldn't i don't mind shooting content making free content put it out on my own watch like going to swim orcas in norway and me shooting at and doing it you going spearfishing in miami and covering it shoot it and editing it so that bad as music and i don't even here's monetize but it's something that people watching like that's bad ass mind doing any of that but to do something with someone else giving me notes and tell me how i should behave well not only that the travel channel is super conservative
right well there they got bought by discovery so they're loosening up a lot where they owned by like some christian network or something the previous owners were scripts and they were very faith based faith based like you know i think that's a filet own their chick fil a for so yeah it's nice to know that you go like you say something fucked up on stage and only rep question is the one check that's like that was up yeah i know i took a chance yeah i rolled the dice and even know what i was saying before i set no it's beautiful to see you working so hard and getting things done and also doing that with like you're you're running in the marathons and and all the spartan race like you're on your doing man you're you're getting after it it's a great man it's great to see you know it's great to he you put together a special and work so hard at it you know it's i mean we're in a real cool time right now like everybody's kind of killing it i think so i love
what everyone's doing and they're all doing it on their own pace now it's awesome but you look at our in he's like he's like texting me in big sally's like yo yes when your scheme to do is show to pay for it and we're yeah he's all right these are the dates yeah just so you know we will be watching the super bowl together yeah now he's killing it in his own way you know everybody is killing it in their own way it's really fascinating it's interesting you know it's true autonomy it's what you know it's like we all started doing podcast with you and showing up at your house the little things we'd see review like like i'm a tom was saying something about remember sitting on their couch yeah he's still on the couch just be back in it and you be like sunk in and high is horrible terrible couch for doing podcasts god that was always couch at his house for a long time yeah i gave it to him yeah sorry got it out of my i studio i had tipped over and then he
is it as his couch and i think he sold it online really sold online right i think there's parts of that old podcasts i missed you remember your landline would ring all the time all the time love that about my kids when they were real little when they were like two they'd be screaming in the background like someone would stub their toe baby crying you would hear in the background that so the evolution on fucking time i had a lot of people come to my house though and it was weird like it was cool like board pain was over or you know jim jeffries over but every now and then i'd have someone over i'd like i don't even know if i like this guy in my house for some fucking weirdo who i brought on the podcast and now they've been to my house it's like is too intimate as well my podcast is still at my house and we're talking about toms do and he's like you know i can't just having people my my house so i'm only get a studio what i'm going to do he's i mean i don't want to tell everyone's business but i think he's probably pretty open but he's going to like he's going out here
big he's going to do what you're doing on this part smaller level he wants to stuff and making like his own branded content that's just tom sigara his sense of humor him and push do their pod just out of there to her podcasts out of there it shows to do is we should get another space and build it up just like this space and have one that's got like four studios in it and a bunch of us can use him and you just pay a certain amount of rent per month amen that's where i'm at i look at and jamie now for a little bit before you got here but like you know meant both cover this but i shot the whole fucking thing like i shot all of it i shot the spartan race and edited it but it's fun for me like i shot the whole thing i just went around and set up camp go to the event grab the camera the set up camera do the thing give amanda mike berlina do the thing and i did that with the marathon covered the whole fucking thing on my phone it's like if i could get myself a june your fucking editor bro i'll put out content every day throughout the bat signal
put it on your instagram to say but you know it out don't do that yeah he definitely did but you really want to make sure they're not crazy the hard part because you get some dude integrated into your life and they turned out to be insane 'cause didn't david spade his god he had assistant assistant assistant him diamond in the middle of the fucking night who did that someone else david spade girl through afforded their system that got broke into david space house and tae's room in the middle of the fucking night how bad must he be to work for for real images you pulled out i mean asking me i'm not saying that he was justified i'm not saying that but come on man something something had to be fucked up if you know over in fact that when they were doing the break do i love davis made i'm not sitting on it but you know when they were doing the breakdown the police officer
there's no like you did nothing huh like how many does he pick up your laundry working for you how many how many copies you drink a day yeah well what was it that you said i love the does your take away home run do they got around to see unfortunately i got here cartoon let's put up with this little bert kreischer secret time this friday is it thursday night at midnight thursday night at midnight aug twenty four midnight viewing party that's tonight you fucks so tonight at midnight it airs secret time on net clicks blow the fuck up i'm going to irvine this weekend or next weekend but yeah check out secret i'm thank you joe love you brother thank you meant bert kreischer here we go i'm tom this is so funny
all right the third time the bugs out that's not actually probably better than anything they're going to come up with how much money does he have he's making his own trip garland falling bitches thanks brother thank you everybody for tuning into the podcast and thank you to our sponsors thank you too on it go to an it use the code word rogan and save ten percent off any and all supplements thank you also to the mother fucking cash app
go to the google marketplace or the google play market or the app store download the cash app for free and don't forget when you download the cash app enter the reward code joe rogan you will receive five tarzan the cash apple send five dollars to justin wren's fight for the forgotten charity we are also bro do you buy stamps dot com go to stamps dot com click on the microphone the top the home page and type in j r e that stamps dot com and enter j r e they will hook you up with a four week trial plus postage and a digital scale alright that's it folks as different today love love loves you off mom one one one one bye
Transcript generated on 2019-10-13.