« The Joe Rogan Experience

#1219 - Bill Burr

2018-12-20 | 🔗
Bill Burr is a standup comedian and also hosts his own podcast called “The Monday Morning Podcast”. Season 3 of his show “F Is For Family” is available now on Netflix.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hello friends, welcome to the show this up, so the podcast is brought to you once again by the cash app the number one app in finance. If you do not know about the cash app for me to let you know, let me tell you the k cash is first of all, it's an app into this app. You can buy and sell Bitcoin. It's really super cheap and easy. You can have your paycheck, directly deposited right into the app? How about that, and then you like one Do that I'll? Tell you why, because of the cash card, the cash card is cash as customizable debit card, and it comes with something called boosts and boots is a feature that you can't get anywhere else because the cash app invented it. This is what you do. You select a boost in the cash app swipe your cash card and you can save ten percent or more at whole foods, shake shack. Chipotle, Taco Bell Chick Fil, a
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The Joe Rogan experience Where are you ll? Let's go to see a good to see it. So, thank you very much. Take me up on that flight. I'm a tell you what not legitimately you've changed the way. I think about la it's really the small. Isn't it's way smaller than you think yeah, it's a different thing when you fly over it, you go. Oh just think that big that's here this is it 'cause. I remember when I was to get my license and I was doing a night flight right. Which is insane totally different, ballgame on mansion and yeah, because when you're on the ground like well, be really easy to see everybody because you're looking up at all you seen as a backdrop, is of the dark sky right right when you get up there. If so, below you. They disappear into the city. Yeah yeah yeah so anyway, so we were flying back
I trained down in long beach, so we were going along the seven hundred and ten, and I just see like all these, these lights and it was like right there, I'm like going up like this, and I go what's that he goes and again pilot over 'cause. Oh, that's the that's the fireworks from Disneyland and I was like Fucking Disneyland, is right there in my head. It took like two hours to get there hour and a half yeah going down the five, but it's just like you. Could you You don't look at miles. All you do is look at time when you're out here, because there's so much traffic, but it's literally like oh, that's like forty miles. It's not even it's like from Hollywood. Like I would think it can't even be more than one thousand five hundred and twenty miles away like Anaheim, so fucking close, but I just it's just Irvine, comedy club, that's all we think of it's just fucking way the fuk down there and then you kick it up. What cop turn like there in like eleven minutes going like this is this is ridiculous. Oh yeah yeah. It was awesome
yeah, it's less or Malibu. When you landed on top of that Little Hill there within a picnic table, yeah dude. Now, let's set it down nice. I was a little nervous that I don't smoke. Don't fuck this up with Joe here, 'cause he's gotta be like Bro. You know it's alright when he was flying when he left the big part We went to the land, he wasn't that good, but I was smooth and then the apocalypse now ship were going through the canyons dot dot dot at at that was awesome. Man those around I get it. Those are fun. It's it's a it's a lot of fun and you know I I fly mostly within instructor, because I got the kid everything, but every once in awhile you got to go by is just so you know you can do it, but I also maxi over to overdo to do it, but I what I do like the auto rotations and I'll just sort of chop on flying along who just chop throttle and like it. It's just it's just wrong. The rpm's I mean on the engine out the options the engine down and then you merely have to pick a spot. You know when some
times? You know the lower you are. You know it becomes literally what you the first place. You look is where you put in it: it's really crazy but away you will wait, wait, wait what you're talking about you mean crash landing. That's auto rotation means yeah, Basically, if you had some sort of failure problem, engine failure whatever so like when you're flying along in the engines working it's drawing air into the disk and that's what creates lift. But when you go into an auto rotation uh it's The air rushing either using gravity, bringing the F the helicopter down using that air, like almost like a fan to keep it going. Not so, and is a critical point where, if you left the main rotor go too slow, that's why the low rpm horn comes on, which is just and nauseating sound if you, let it go too low that when, if we get to a point where it's spinning too slowly, no matter how fast you drop, you can't get it going again fast enough to create and you're. Basically, at that point you're in something
it's no longer able to fly your your instructor Skyler's. Oh yeah, Skyler pointed out something I didn't know that they have to redo those things like every x amount of miles. They rebuild every hours yet yeah it's well. They have like there's all this maintenance along the way, they're incredibly maintained, because I'm sure you noticed. If you read the comments all people talk about, is in aviation is like yoga. That's how entertainers die, it's like! No, it isn't they overdose. If you really looked at the graph there on the ground completely safe overdoz car accidents. This is always over those ranking jensch it like that, and it's just like that, mainly how you die like again amount of people that are up there every day and Nothing happens, it's it's, you know, but there is that you know the the fly in the ointment. Is that there's? There are, particularly at the private level, there are knuckleheads out there like this people, like, I think, every time I get in
I'm always thinking like. Am I gonna? Do you know? I don't I died today, so I I I go over all about a whole bunch of, and you know, especially when fly solo and I have the whole flight. I have all my options on. You know where I could land you know if I had a problem like that's what you're supposed to do. Look at weather reports. I do all of that shit and what happen this guys get more and more confident and their pre flight is a kind of look. It looks pretty clear and then they go out there, and you know this. You know this people who grow up knowing that they could die and then there's other people out there who just like Magnum PI and they want to fly by waterfalls and shit. I mean those guys have more fun, but it's you know, there's. Definitely those are the people that you know you supposed to fly. There's like two envelopes because to fly within the envelope of what you're flying and then you know your skill set. So you don't fly in this this, like you, know like
if it's too windy or whatever I'm just saying that going. Even if I could let's say: I'm not going to have fun up there fucking. You know I know it out and just you know let the wind do what it wants to do and don't fight it, and you know, make sure you know yeah I fly. To sell you to slow down. You know you know it's it's, There are elements of that but like if you look up there, what's going on down below you fly. I always say this: would you drive on the highway? It's like you're flying in formation you're in the blue angels, yeah with the, but with nobody talking to anybody. You have no idea what anybody's going to do. People are texting there medication, over there, suicide note the fact they're doing you know, and then the inside, but you gotta, look up for the guy splitting lanes in the motorcycles and ship. It's pretty amazing how few accidents are actually are, it is it is, and what I fly, the Robinson they get a bad rap saying: they're not safe, because they look at the amount of crashes that they've had, but it it's b. It's because it's a helicopter, you can
Ford, so it's inherently a low hour pilot and if you look at it it's most of the time, it's not it's, not the the helicopter. It's the it's! The person flying it um, which is why you really have to be on it like you can't uh, it's just not something uh. I don't know how to explain it. It's this weird thing where your level of enjoyment is way higher. If you're, if you're in it, you know if you're the person flying the whole time, you have your life in other peoples, lives in hand, so that you're not really. Oh look at that. Oh look at that. Look at that! Look. I'm also, like you know, thinking things have like you know flying to fly canyon, any data that I think in that I'm looking no, no one where the wires are in where the road is because that's all fucking tree, so gonna be the road. So there's those you know kind of going around a you know this certain like altitudes and stuff. Just it's it's boring, but it's just
that you're you're, always thinking that you know I imagine like when you fly is that you know I know with a lot of it's like instinct and stuff, but this these things that you just don't do yeah I don't know anything about finding those hidden box. You don't lead with an uppercut. It's just it's just fucking things! You don't do you see a lot of guys like when they go to take off. They do this fucking thing like the nose down attitude, and I was taught not to do that 'cause they do that 'cause, it looks cool. I don't know why they do it. I mean you're supposed to it, but I was taught you supposed to keep it level so that way, if you have a problem you know you're already in use the right attitude to just immediately enter a neuron auto like now. If I, if I'm fucking nose down in from too far out of the ground, is going to fucking go right into the ground, I don't know, but I mean still like totally a novice. I'm I'm coming up on two hundred hours, so I don't know a lot, but I'm super super super super fucking, and I make sure I don't Go too long without doing auto, stations I used to hate them and now I
really really like them, it was sort of the way it was explained to me. I didn't get it until one day I thought about it, and then I got it and I was able to lock it too because it's, but it's the same inputs if you're going in for a landing, but they broke it down to like four steps like it was low, rpm the lower collective gentle apps. I click look at your trim strings was a trim, trim airspeed MSN just fuckin' doing all of this and the reality is it's just like it's. The right pedal Jesus Christ. I forgot that right pedal. So it's all the same. It's all the same input if you were going in for a landing. So all I do anytime. I hear the low rpm is. I just do that and then I'm locked into it and then I'm just watching. Then I can just watch my rpm's and at this point I've flown enough way. I kind of know where I'm interim, which basically means that you're not like grabbing and you kind of going straight and then you can kind of like pick out your spot and then it becomes fun as well Tools, you can do like one hundred and eighty autos you can turn around and what I do like about. It is when you
come down to the ground as you can bleed off all of your airspeed. That forward motion. That's going to fucking, kill you, and as long as you don't fuc up and Erin, go back up and then drop like you know. You know it's kind of like a hockey. Stop was the way it was described to me just level it out and run as you go to drop, people like that in these guys, Landon like daisies and stuff. It's it's really amazing, I'm not as good as that, but like I will do it where you know worst case scenario. I might. I might flock like get a little bit of a bump yeah, but I'm would be alright, so yeah, I don't know now, there's probably a bunch of people saying I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, which admittedly I still think, there's a lot of shit. I need to learn about staying up. So as long as you go into things like that, you know well the fact that you're done and in fact you learn a new thing. That's really difficult to learn. Don't you think that that's good for your brain? Now I am believer in constantly
earning it's. Why I like you as a person because you're constantly like you at the Joe. I knew three years ago in a good way. You, like you, learn all of this. You know met you, you weren't hunting,. Now. You were into March. That was thank you. You would you a two dimensional ulam, which was amazing because everyone's just a committee, you, with this taekwondo champion a stand up guy and then then sense. Then you've added all like the guests that you have on the fact that you're able to like talk to him and stuff is because you've continued to. You know it's the same thing with like a comic who writes his first hour and then just sits on it for like eight years yeah and all of a sudden. Two presidents goes by and said: why are they laughing anymore? It's like as you just stuck in time so I yeah, I believe in that, and I also believe in playing cards card games and stuff. It's good for your hand in any games. If they say in video games now people like to shift on video games, but they say, video games have a positive cognitive effect on kids
is calculating and move it you're thinking fast, yeah their hand coordination is like insane. I guess, if you some of those things, if you play, am, I guess I don't know, but you think about the amount hours they're putting into their thumbs just how often, do you really use your thumb and like detailed ways very rarely but kids today they have ridiculous thumb. Dexterity. I tapped out grand theft. Auto three is when I stop, which is about two thousand and three two two or something I just they were just two amazing an hour. It's like. I am know where my career right now- and this is just good. I was walking around them in New York at the time and I would stop playing the game and I would be walking down the street. Thinking about it like what I can walk The subway in L, like not thinking about jokes thinking, how I could beat this next hello. I'm a by. I played this medal of honor Game and they had this thing. When you hit the sniper button, like the scope, a goal like that and x would go like that. I would
like. I played it one day, one week so much that when I walked out on the street, I was looking at people across the street doing like that extra step on my face. That's just like there's something about already, not the brightest guy, you know when it comes to like school and shift. So it's just like I was like this is doing something in my brain, so I kind of remember came home and I just unplugged everything, but really quickly took every getting off 'cause. I knew I was never going to figure it out and I didn't have any instructions anymore. I just stuck it in the back of the class like well, that's it. I did the same thing with video games with quake, I had real problem. When I was playing eight hours, eight ten hours a day. Sometimes I had a t one line installed in my house just so I could play with the fast. Internet connection. This is like one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight yeah. This is crazy, I mean there was slow internet. Where I was so, I said: well, what's the options and so one option? Is they chew up the street and put this fucking crazy fat business line? Cost me a shitload of money. I was like: let's do it so stop.
In business line that would use at the time you'd use for a large building I had it just for my house and I would play. Video games online all the time and play online against people for the last twenty years. Yeah. I didn't know that we we play online teams. We have teams guys like like me, and three of my friends would play against four other guys and we'd. Like me to Sir server and you know you talk to each other. Are you ready to go or it's go three two one go and then the you know with the game will start and and then we you would and have these matches it was fun. Man was really fun, it was really it's. Fighting too because it's all happening in real time. But I reached a point somewhere around like the year two thousand, where I know one day I played until it was sunlight until the sun came up, and you know I'm fucking. Thirty years old, yeah and I'm sitting there. My hands are sweating: Amal, Fuckin', caffeinated up I've been drinking the mountain dew for the past eight hours, an I really like
Am I doing this is you know, I'm not I want to be as a comic I'm not where I want to be with my life and I'm just sitting here playing video games all the time and there's no future in this. This I've been stuck in things where there's no future. Before I know what that is, I felt like that with writing. I was when I was twenty one. There was a point in time where I was like: there's no future in this, I'm just going to getting hit in the head. I'm going get done. And more brain damage and more crazy MIKE this dangerous, and I and realize I'm not going to stop. I gotta stop. There's no future in this. There was no money in fighting back then either, and then I got there with pool same thing with pool like my manager called me up, and he said I think you play pool too much he's like I think
he's like he's like. I think that you seriously think about pool more than you do your career, and I respect him and he's a very good friend of mine. So I had a really really thought I didn't you know I didn't take it lightly. I had to take a deep breath and I was like fuckries right right. I play pool all the time was playing every day. I have a. I have a real, addictive personality. I do too. So I get like like how many hours I want to get flying and then, like things, I want to learn playing drums and stuff, and then it becomes I've had to learn to be like built. These are hobbies. Yes, yes, okay, yeah, dad first, then you're a comedian. Let's get of priority all this and waiting for you to know how to play good times bad times. Yeah that consists sit back a little bit, but the fact that you're doing that kind of stuff, I think, is great. I love I've. I really identify with you in a lot of ways. We do that. Will you get for can crazy about drums. Are you crazy about up yeah everything I just walk and I just go down like
I got to learn all about. Like yeah everything came out here. I got into old cars and all this sudden I was watching this guy Eric the car guy. I found him most because he would work on like cars of today. Well, you open the hood. It's like what is everything and where the? How do you get it and he's just taking off all this plastic schitt and just digging all the way down and he's just like you know, if you can't remember just videotape it just remember how it all goes together through one time yeah what the hell he was changing, but he had to take the whole fuckin' front end of this car off to change something that I used to be able to change on. Like my fuckin' eighty three Ford Ranger. I know that yeah. I know you're talking about yeah yeah yeah and it's like he does every electrical. He just everything, and I would just sit there. I all of that. I watched all the way back to people rebuilding like flathead v eights, and what made Flathead an I never got any electrical that always seem like magic to me like I never got into that shadow scared like oh, you touch it. You get fuckin' electrocuted, but
got all into like watching like like somebody, rebuild an engine like just from the bottom to the top. It just wasn't a lot of stuff right. Like the crankshaft, and then there was the shift that held on the pistons. He put the drop the pistons in and then there was the intake was at the intake manifold and then was the big thing to valves seem gapping, the valves that seem like. If you fuck that up this thing isn't going to run right and and just knowing that the firing thing and I got into like torque wrenches and I learned how to change breaks on like a like old school, like shoe, breaks and stuff, like that, I got all the right ranches and all that I don't know how to adjust to my no, where you do. This is little slit in the back of the wheel in. I thought you just put him close to it's right up against the drum you supposed to put him on I got totally into fucking brakes for a while. I tried to rebuild
carburetor failed, miserably, 'cause, there's really old, and I took off too many parts. It was like warped and shift so was that you dodge the truck now for look forward yeah into Ford Black black, yeah yeah, nothing was brown. I don't know what year is that like six thousand and sixty eight was made look up the vin number. It was actually made in Canada, crazy in which of sixty eight. I want to say Toronto or something like that like they. I guess they had an a factory up there or whatever. So, in March of nineteen sixty eight that thing rolled off and I think it's spent most of its life down south like in Georgia and did you swap the breaks out for disc brakes? I did a Chris Titus was the one who helped me with. He put, I did once I he did the the other, but he did the other, but he showed me. I was just doing what he told me to do so I had all drum brakes and I wanted to keep it all original, but you know people were pulling out to me like I had disc brakes and I'll fun king hilarious. When I only had Drum
brakes. I locked him one time in front of bunch of millennials and they've never heard that sound that walking and they helped lead. All went like that- and all I was doing I just you- know the light turned yellow fast. The yellow lights are out here. I was kind of an east coast. Mindset like I can make this now. I can't I just walked in. I think I hit him that hard I'm a little sideways, and then it was fucking hilarious like this outdoor cafe and they all looked over and then I just had to fucking sit there who like that already Lang movie when he fucking Moon, he Moon's the crowd. The guy gets out and just leave them. There is like oh he's supposed to keep I would like that I felt like I was like actually embarrassed. I probably will said sorry. Those breaks are terrible It's amazing, nobody died or more people didn't die rather than I used to have a nineteen seventy Barracuda that had those kind of breaks- oh yeah, no just logs seventy one. When I was in high school, and it hit the brakes and it would just skid. I mean there was everything locked up. Anti lock
it's one of the greatest inventions ever yes, incredible invention. No, I used to drive my truck before I had power steering I got put power steering and air conditioning. It was so just a basically a farm truck. It was like no power steering three on the column which I still have because I think that's cool and I used I I got stuck in the teeth of the of one night. Like the you know, traffic always said stuck it out, I'm trying to the teeth of it. The end to be like between five and seven. I was coming from Santa Monica. Driving over the laugh factory- and I literally by the time I got to the laugh factory. I was like tired- I nominal the guy, but just like shifting and like you know like when you, when you're at a dead, stop and you just turn sing. The flock and waved at this giant steering wheel to give you like leverage. That's why the fucking thing is so big and I was just like. Oh my god, like doing a three point turn in that, like my triceps would be burning. Not the best shape, but I'm just saying it's like I gotta make my life
a little easier for you, my little car that little red car that I have that doesn't have any power steering and when I, when I turn that thing that car so light and tiny is fucking hard to turn, though, like when I have to pull into the parking lot the comedy store, and I have to back it up so that I could get out of there quick yeah, it's a pain in the dick. It's hard three turns are not three point turns like four or five points: yeah. I wonder if, back in the day, 'cause those original cars. They had those little skinny bike tires on it. It was way easier, just easier to turn and they got like heavier in wider. Well, you know my corvette. Has that modern suspension on that. Sixty five corvette and it has really wide tires like the big old steam rollers just for a goof. The power steering taken off on like see what it's like to the power steering, that's horrible. It was horrible, like you get a farm work out just driving around down the street yeah you're bouncing around it was too much. I had to change it back yeah. I love old cars, though there's something about the idea that you could fix it. You could go in there and with a good book or
video you can actually fix it. You know, I know a lot of guys have fix things. I know guys have changed their transmission they've gone in there and swap the transmission out for a new you know, it's it's just having the balls to take it apart and the patients like, I know you got to ask for help in like I just found like it was just like in like I need what tool I don't have that fucking tools and you have to order. It was really best rating in that was a quick sort of like rabbit hole. I went down so I like now that I kind of understand how the whole thing comes together, but, like yeah, I guess it gets back to the whole going down the rabbit hole. There's a guy who's got a great video that you would love and it's on Petrelis, yes, and it's the videos called. I think it's called one car for everything and this guy he's a fiction. Writer writes like screenplays inch. It never worked on a car in his life. Decided you want to buy
old Porsche so bought like a nineteen. Seventy one Porsche and didn't know: Jack Schitt about cars, so he starts learning one called car to do it all. That's it. So this guy, puts together this car and then start working on it and then takes his fucking garage and turn. Garage into like a professional workspace digs a hole in the ground, puts a lift in in the floor of his garage like blaze. Cement does everything just got married I don't know it doesn't seem like it doesn't seem like this, but he's going to do with that old car. This is the concept beautiful car. Look at that thing. I'd love those You know my little car is seventy one. It looks like nineteen late 70s to Maine. No, it's a flat, no flat hood
the long hood. Rather the long hood models are like six thousand eight hundred and sixty seven sixty eight till like seventy three, that's the name Jack Olson. It's a really fucking cool! because this is a guide that didn't have any background in it. That's his fucking garage built all this. He built the whole garage and he just decided look, I just slowly get into it and understand it, and he has different arrow like see that giant wing? That's arrow that he puts on only when he's at the racetrack, so he can unbolt it and do it. He uses this car for everything, the user, this car You'll get groceries at the back end yeah, that's that's that looks like yeah, so fucking beautiful car those cars are so light to the cars like two thousand and he he flat out offenders all right now, the are are from that era. Had flared fenders, yeah wow so had to have fat, rear, fenders and fat rear tires because
engines in the back and those things snap around when you take interns, because the balance is way off like the end, and is hanging out behind the rear wheels. It's not amid. Jim cards are rear. Engine car, which is extremely rare, Only Portia really does it, and so you get something called live, oversteer when you're in a turn, you have to keep the pedal on. You have to keep the gas going when you're in it turn. If you let off the turn, your mental IRAN, just pops pops out you, you get oversteer, you spin around in a circle, so these to call the turbos widow makers. Because the way they used to have those old cars they used to have those really shity tires like that, like he's, got new modern compound tires on that thing, so it probably sticks like glue, but the old tires were Dogshite they're tearable, so you have Super powerful engine is weird thanks for the engines hanging out behind the Axel. I never thought about that. Yeah totally so much fun to drive
there's so much manager is so engaging. I love taking it to the store, because by the time I get to the store, like my brains, fire and it's like pop in because I'm in shift in where Canickel is air cooled you know it's not a very like that red car is not a very fast car like a modern car will get teslas way faster than it is, but what it is, is a live. It's like Medicaid feel the gears like when you shift and that sucker in a second just very visceral, you know, yeah, I drove out buddies Tesla. One time that was fucking oculus I just stepped on and yeah I my head was take, like I said blood to the back and he just The one motor the guy I know that has a Tesla, they have a handful, I should say they all got invited to the factory they got the motor on the front wheel and the back wheel, an all of 'em said no to that cargo and do it I would fucking die. If I got that it is like
like super bike. Motorcycle fast yeah, like a racing motorcycle level fast, zero to sixty in like two point something seconds, and then have that new one that roadster that's coming out? That's one point something seconds one. It's something. Second, zero to sixty. I yeah you're. In a missile I mean way to it like got it. Somebody's foot slips off the brake on the gas you're gonna, obliterate, a street full of people and that's fucking crazy. It's bad enough! Something does that on a bike. You can do that on a with all that weight. Those tests, as I have you should because that battery, I guess which I didn't really. I think I would think because there was no power train or anything yeah. That would be lighter, but I guess that batteries like super heavy mauritian. They don't make any noise, which is even weirder, so the coming out, she'll even now, yeah the kind of lost it at it. I don't know, as I am with the front end: there's no grill at the front of the warring is kind of boring kind of boring, yeah yeah, it's like a new,
and isn't the roadster missing the roadster now see that pull up that has to take. I promote that roads. Can I print promote other Patrice that yeah? What would we had? A tough February now the world. With this look at the annual Teslas new emissions testing mode will produce loud nasty farts on demand. It makes fart added a fart app this week so that so ridiculous, it's got seven different parts or six different fart sounds and then one automatically you can set it to like different buttons, like it turn signal, and so it makes sounds, and then it makes smell to notice about that. It's just the sound emission. Oh ok! Ok, that's just stupid! the trees on it farts. When is the Ben February 19th at the York City Center and what we got here shut off my damn phone. We gotta Michelle Michelle Wolf, Jim Gaffigan I got here that I already forget,
the sounds myself rich vos, it's all coming back here, big a Chris and Gary Coleman, Chris read that's from excellent. Yes, sir, tell the line so beautiful we're going to try to add a couple more people to it. It's at the New York City Center, Tuesday FEB 19th all proceeds go to his family and it's been such a great thing. Like his you know his mom's been able to get a condo and everything just told because he We basically with that thing. We take care of everybody that he was taken care of, because you know well, you know the mission basically all of his family should have to deal with his degree front. You know, I always think that, often and the reason why we continue to do it every year is because his family members are still. You know My van, I always hated that when somebody died in to say we do one time is a sack of money trying to make this last for the thirty to sixty years of your lives. You know And and then also because you know he was the best stand up that I ever saw live and I just keep in his name. You know what I always think that many times
Somebody said you one the top level blah blah blah and I always think. Well, you know Patrice and Hedberg, and all of these fucking I do Freddy soda what he would have done just thinking about Freddie. I was just thinking about that when he said that that maybe we should do one of those for Freddie's family yeah Freddie was like he was brilliant. This, he would imitate his dad and shake artless now it was like it was like yeah he would like hurt. The crowd was like he was got: stop guy too like every time you saw Freddy, so it always all about hugs. It is a good dude. Well done buddy. Last time I saw we were working in number, the Aspen comedy festival yeah. I remember that, and I didn't see him the last couple years. Maybe I saw him out in El A, but that was the time that I remembered 'cause. We were kind of in the same group. Group B group group a or whatever so yeah he was walking around, I think, was buying something for his wife for his kid or something like that. I that one Jesus
you know you heard so much autoball him. He was when I was just like Freddy yeah already died. I couldn't believe that sleep apnea, apparently sleep, apnea and pills to go to sleep. You know like take ambient sleep, apnea lock up and you just stop breathing. Sleep Apnea is a real fuckin' problem. I haven't. I took a mouthpiece, I put a mouthpiece in at night when I go to sleep, but it keeps my tongue from falling back on my throat. Alot of athletes. Have it the bigger your neck gets the more muscle tissue you have in your neck, the more it closes off your air hole you go to sleep. That is a lot of meat in there most stuff. So when the next shift and do what do? What do you do? our bellies tied to the go ahead. Who needs a small sect of working out? You just get a big. Could you do? These known can strangle you. That is what it is for real like well, someone could definitely still strangle you, but it helps a lot like if you get ahold of a regular neck, regular next
just comply. They just give me. Please call your next special regular neck. Pretty no one's going to try and accidentally take that title. That's true, regular neck reg, Joe Rogan, regular neck. It's hard coming up with a good name for a special. Are you somebody told me you were doing. Are you saying that you're going to your next one independence, you're going to do it independent uh? No, I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm I'm exploring all the options in all of that I'm trying I was trying. I figure out a way to you, know: 'cause, it's just a ton of specials out. There was just trying to figure out a way, but I mean you know. When was last time. Don't October two thousand and sixteen so do I'm do, but it's like am I do I do I don't know I don't I don't know it's it's. What it is
is this special is changed since you when I started yeah, your special was special. Now. What it is is it's just kind of in an hour long advertisement, letting people know that you're still out there and- and it's like this, just doesn't so the documents stuff, though yeah it does. But this just such a sheer amount of stuff to see to have like an impact. The like? I was trying to think. Maybe the last one that really was just like woah and I would say it would be like maybe Dave Chappelle killing him softly, certainly Chris Rock bring the pain where it was. Just like you know, I'm not say they weren't ones that, like like people, talked about, but like just that thing where, like remember when we were kids. It was just like you Friday. Hey man see you on Monday and then somehow on Monday everybody saw delirious where everybody saw dice or What saw SAM Kinison on on on the the Dangerfield and it was just like no
talking about it and then just like there was only so many channels and that thing just caught, of people's sight, and you came to school monday- and everyone was just talking about it like you know, I'm I'm still getting tweets, People saying hey. I finally got around to watching breaking bad you know I mean I I was talking about the wire one time to like do do you. You could have said spoiler alert. It's like that, went off the air in like two thousand six, but how which time do I have to give you to watch it. You know, so I still haven't seen them do my body is uh his son? The number one thing that he he watch is Is he on his phone he's watching one of these guys that gets paid to play video games he watched this guy on his phone play. Video games, everybody does that okay, so common! Yes! So now that's another going to watch exact, forget about online porn and fucking.
Watching Eric the car guy and all that trying to trying to find like where you can like drop the pamphlets of your career, basically to be like hey man, I'm still around. I think there's definitely more content now than ever before, but for in terms of like the I understand that's available. There's never been more great standup available to watch. Yeah like how many specials there are now I mean it's, it's fucking, crazy, yeah. Really it is uhm yeah. So they're not really specials they're, not nationals they're, not special because because it used to be special, is used to be the top comics? Now, arguably, it was basically the top white male comics, so the fact that they fix that is a great thing, but now is it though I mean Chris Rock Dave. Chappelle Damon Wayans do there was a lot of those up there. A lot of white guys there was alot hi guys doing a lot of great black guys too. I really real problems. Women. There wasn't very,
any women yeah I mean there's like women, are like three Asians there's Apache this other people out there. That would stand up special, there's got be anyways but what I'm saying was, but it was the best of the best where now it's just everybody, it's everybody right right so like I remember, I remember when it was changing. Well, I was doing a club, an uh Feature ACT was complaining that he didn't get a half hour special on one of these networks. I'm thinking like you're a feature act and like what you. What are you going to do your whole act and you still the feature and you want to document that and it's just like buy used. About half hour specials I started out and it was still like guys, who'd been on the road for like fifth, eighteen years and they were picking from their headlining hour uh, so taken. Half of that, like the best bits from an hour, and then you know and that somehow through time just became a feature going up and doing his whole
ACT will Netflix is doing that now they have the degenerate special. They have big jaded one Joey Diaz did one Christina posits KI did one uhm I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it's changed right so because it it's even changed since my last special that I put out my last advertisement that I put out our long advertising, so you just try to figure out you Everything is just fucking changing so fast you just trying to navigate like. Where can I put this in all? was this right that it's going to blink enough, that it's going to stare at it and maybe like watch the thing I just notice, you fuckin' lights with the sky, that's pretty cool right! Yes, she was the company that makes those octo lights, shadow to octo lights, yeah gay. Again did an interesting thing. He decided not to put his newest one on Netflix. He puts it on everything. It's
Hulu and Amazon you can get it on Itunes, but not Netflix. Yeah he's a smart guy. Well, he just took a chance. I guess you know just decided to see what happens if you just make it available everywhere. Instead, yeah I'd like to talk to him, see how successful that was yeah because I'm still working out my straight out talk to you off there, but because I don't because it it fries with my I get it ability to yeah. You know make something happen so I'll I'll. Tell you what my idea was, but I got next I've done, doing and just put it right on you tube. I thought about doing that. For me, I'm not getting paid for it just shoving it right on you too, to see what happens yeah and you too yeah yeah. It's just painful. And just sticking it out there, because if it is an advertisement, what's the best way to get it out the best way to put it on Youtube,
it takes them down. I think when you have bits up that, like from specials that go up on Netflix, I think Netflix just let them stay. It just depends on what your what your contract is. Is you can work that in we did a special with Paul, very easy. All things coming up like we did a special with him, which was did phenomenal, like broke all their online streaming records, and it was great because he was a guy that they don't really give special who's right right now and do the special for comedy central all night and so that the streaming version was really successful. Yeah I mean I know he did well on well now trying to get people to actually just say down and watch television. Like everybody tape, you tape right, that's just how it works, which is now if you watch like spell games they have this thing now, where the things going on and all of a sudden the game slides to the left, and then there's two boxes and the advertising boxes bigger.
As they know that everybody's taping games and the blowing through it advertisers somehow can tell if someone fast forward through and then that they, the NFL, doesn't make much money so now they're they're running like this is where these two things, so you don't really have to look at the commercial. You can just sit there looking at the game, but then there telling do about fuckin' whatever at the same time yeah. It's weird, that's gross it's gross, but is it I mean that's how you know I off advertising. It's like my thing. What's gross is how you're, what you know if you dump in ship the water supply- if you got like like you know. I mean I think they all have some sort of labor Fuckin' issues. That's the part. I would like to be able They did not have that like. If I get Amazon, one click am like you much how much I you for each game. Well, I don't have to see that yeah they'll, give you a bye. Bye will fit, but the what the act advertise with do is their pockets are deeper and they got they gonna go back there. Fight like what's funny is when the?
started out all of a sudden you just you went from watching seeing all these commercials to like nothing to now seeing way more than you ever saw, yeah like my the worse when you watching along you to video and all the sudden, it just stops, and you know they try to make make a nice can he just watch and it annoys me like well. I do advertising my podcast help set about this. Can I get um it. Now. I don't know what you see when you look at the line and you see those little yellow lines on the video. We know that's where the fuckin' ads going to pop up No, I didn't know that yeah. Is that how it works? Yeah, yeah yeah, I mean. Look, Advertising is what it is. I mean it's either that or you do like a patrion type deal when you have people contribute like SAM Harris. Does that right it doesn't. You know, there's a million ways to do it, but, like I don't get mad at advertising because, like I said, a stand up, specials me advertising, then I'm going to be out on the road you save
but it's not it's entertainment, it's for people that watch it. They can enjoy it, but I can't help, but no one sitting about that. What is a way also to do advertising entertain like they way back those less filling tastes great, but like come on. Well, a lot of Miller. Lite commercials were found a great funny yeah. They were great yeah. You wanted to see a man you love them released. I did so yeah. There's ways. There's ways to do everything they still have some good commercials like what's that insurance lady who's, always in those commercials? What does that flow? Yeah flow, she's, she's, fucking funny this some funny commercial still, but it's I'm tired. I know Seinfeld was actually thinking about opening up an insurance agency at one point in time 'cause. He apparently likes writing stuff like that, and he was thinking about advertising agency when I say insurance maps yeah advertising, he was thinking about doing that at one point in time: yeah don't making ads, then he's probably like wait a I don't have a real job. Yeah like how much money do I need some point
guys, like that, make me feel normal with like car collecting like when I went to Jay Leno's place, he's got eleven buildings filled with cars and, like oh ok, I see where this goes. Yes, I've got to give myself. He hasn't. He is I've never been over there, but he has. He has enough cars to start his own traffic jam on. He could fill up the four hundred and five one side of it. I would think you could fill up. The Pasadena rose bowl. You can fill up the fucking parking lot, it's ridiculous I'll! Take you want to go. But I thought you'd love it does. He have bring your truck. Does he have more uh uh cars, then days of the year Yeah cuz, I know he also has like motorcycles that's one another one, that's another one, I went down a rabbit hole is Jay's garage, yeah, yeah, great show how yeah I loved it. No, I I I yeah I got Dawaly Gas Monkey garage garage in that gas monkey guy on the show,
which it wrong yeah. I just got an email yesterday, yeah. Do that guys a funky? I love guy fucking right. I love that guy. Ask him about my favorite episode, my favorite, fucking episode of that. Always like I watched that show so much. I knew the number who is going to come at, like maybe like ok, what do you want for this going and he always get them to say it first and then, like I mean how thinking like five grand and then he be always five member. I can't I mean I mean I I could do. I could like twenty. One hundred right and then the fucking guy would then go down to four grand and he would come up like like three hundred dollars and he didn't get in the car for like three grant, like whatever you wanted right. So one time he went out and he busted this. I down on, like an old trans am or Firebird assumption. I forget what the guys, how's it to him for like he wanted, like eighteen, some he semi sold them for like eleven. So if the
power over there he's talking about is going to do about with it and all of a sudden. The guys brother calls up and says hey that guy die. We have the fucking right to sell that car it's also mine, you gotta, you know I'm going to come down and get to buy it back from you. So the guy comes down and you know ask him what he wants for Ann Richards. Just like I mean I was thinking like twenty. Guy goes, he goes. Do you bought it? For my brother, I know what you paid for it. He actually got embarrassed he's like oh man that sorry The only time I get like embarrassed, he wasn't We just went into like his thing and, like I swear to God like watching that show, like you, get better like negotiating in like and I he does like the sketches to where he will do like a character in dating like an old school used car salesman and you just how good he does it yeah 'cause, it's not he's a performer.
Or anything. How good he does is like this. Guy is like this is just in his blood he's just been a car guy. He spent flipping cars yeah, I'm trying I'm seeing the show in a minute, but like he used to talk about how he, you know by the time he was like nineteen. He was on like his 30th car, or something like it was just like. I like that car I buy this car like that one and just every month would just flip. Am am those cars something about those shows that it does an auction shows or anytime like pawn shop shows there's something about wanting to know how the deal plays out yeah. You know that is so compelling for people there's something like and I'm a moron I just sit there staring like how much they're going to get yeah. I was gonna get for that. I agree that civil war coins. What are those worth, how much they bought sat down and just like yeah, I mean that Guy Richard is probably the best I've seen he's the most entertaining
It's like a fun guy to watch. It's a performance, yeah he's a man I I mean I mean I was, I don't know yeah and then you go exactly pulls out this giant wad, it's like dude, you had you had the money, the other guy, to sit there and watch it. Then it kind of makes fun of him afterwards. Yeah thank you kind of me in a in a fun like a funny way or whatever, but it's a funny thing to that. How appealing that is to men? I got a bit of you looked at the number prove women who watch those car shows versus the number of making your motor trend has a channel. Now they have there channel, and I, you too, that is ninety seven percent dudes and three percent women complaining women going. What the are you at like. If you look at the actual numbers like what is it about cars? Like girls can drive cars, girls drive cars all the time. Girls like cars, they don't like cars away, guys like cars, it's just most of 'em, generally speaking, yeah outside, like Danica Patrick and a few psychos,
yeah. I met her one time, yeah some picture with you. I should have thought she took me around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, no comment down that straightaway and seem like you know where they had the leaderboard and everything was iconic and after that race a couple of times so It was crazy as we going she ended only she only went like half the speed of what the car like what how fast they would be going something we got up to maybe like one hundred and forty, but we really going around turns and like my face, is doing this, but what I love the was she had like test pilot vibe yeah like she came up and Vice like handshake and shed beast yeah it pretty are yes, she was just totally like to give it a little different, her sunglasses and my sunglasses. I definitely would live passenger sunglasses. You know we talk about the look the same now now
now. Those are like right off the fucking. What's my elf, what's wrong with your sunglasses? Are hers not you'll see it? I don't know in the details. Come on man, it's like me. I probably You know your crescent kick probably looks the same as Fuckin' some kind of Strip Mall. To me I mean I laracy said crescent. As one of the rarest kicks anybody ever pulls off every it's leftover from the 80s whatever, but that's kind of legit crescent, kicks kind of. Like it's very writing about me, Kim is after awhile, just all becomes like shall be the margins yeah, yeah and and Hammy's yeah to do we get a Hemi Cuda coming up and I'm crazy. Those things are too much the, but you buy those As for one million dollars and when the car came out, it was like twenty grand I mean not even I like weird yeah, I like You know I want to get the a seventy six GMC Rv. That's why to go on the road with yeah. Then they have. The same was because I think was called Palm Palm desert. Or something like that. It's like this total RON, burgundy, if you
click on the interior do and that thing was way ahead of its time way ahead of its time. It's amazing look at that fucking piece! Sure that's not a piece of shit, that's fucking, tremendous look at captains chair go to swivel Oh my god. Let me tell you something you walk off stage and get on that fucking thing you feel like a king, you gotta drive What do you give a fuck talk about anything I could be on the road for ever and that is making eggs on that little stove top now you're in there drinking you're doing what you want you watching good fell is a anchorman that is pretty beautiful. It's. So what was that experience to your riding that thing. That's a retro experience as not just a truck yeah. That thing that you know my wife's name
What are you going to put away, but I gotta fucking driver will keep it. I don't need it. She was right, my wife, so we're doing not always, but mostly women don't like when you collect yet like we're going to put that they don't like that. You get too many things. I have to reason why I got this place collection here. Oh yeah. No, we could say nothing the spot once is nothing now then it becomes. You spend more time down there and then you do up here. But don't though, I've got it, I got it nailed. I figured it out, get up early, you being such a jerk. That's why I don't have a point. I don't I actually. I can actually refute your opinion, your point or whatever it's so universal too. All women have that response:
The fuck is wrong. With you been there, we had a highway yeah, that's it! Well, imagine being them watching you imagine, being a woman have taken care of your children, you give birth to get this little tiny infant and then financially you're. Relying on this fucking maniac s there flying copters and fixing cars and now playing drums all day. So I quit, if keeps coming in, they can't say anything, but they like what the fuck are you doing another day you married an eight year old, a comedian Jesus Christ. You lucky we don't drug addicts yeah. Yeah. Now I'm I'm, I gotta. I got to work on myself, man I got a you know. I just yeah. I am a difficult person to to live with. Evidently
I didn't realize it, but like I'm now, looking at it honestly stepping back and look at the yeah, I can see that I can fucking see that yeah I've thought about it. I'm definitely difficult, but if you don't think about it, there remind you about it. Yeah, but I mean I would imagine relying on me I mean I'm reliable. Like no. I want to be like look. If you could have married to me that worked in a fuckin' warehouse that I would have been the same thing you know and we would be in a fucking studio apartment. Here's the deal though they want to marry. You found someone better yeah, yeah yeah, you are. Fucking off, never got together. You your about together to is their ability to move on, yeah, I've I've always said like if I ever fuckin' died. How quickly all my clothes would be it down at the goodwill. You know and she needs to be You know, sell the house, let's just burn some sage yeah- that was interesting, alright well almost up to the plate. All my discussions with
colleges in people who study like what's GAD Sad's? What is his discipline behavioral psychology, but he studies, you know this isn't GAD sad is that last name of his phone as a a d g, a d, that's his first name, GAD S, a a d is lasting Does it rhyme visit also lebanese canadian evolutionary behavioral scientist brilliant? He was so when I does his name still rhyme good question. Is there anywhere he can go or not made. My name is GAD said now. He calls himself the godfather these gray, so he just stared into it. He's a great guy, I think there is thirteen, but brilliant uh nice talking about. Why would you name a cat mom dad said I don't think sad means the same thing over there. You know different languages, but in a day it rhymes
There are no country you can be on. You could be on that little island with a shot that guy with the EROS and they're, getting a make funny you, Sir Robbie, kick you off the island yeah you can't name you can like. Some of the celebrity seven names they name the kids. It's just like: don't you remember school, I you don't remember how mean mean kids were are, given the point painting a fuckin' by Gannett, your creative yeah. Meditation room. Fuckin', don't do that with the name. Oh, give a nice bill, Name William This is folding chair, Johnson, We need to express themselves, they do it through the naming of their children. My other favorite thing that they do is when they fuckin' they put their political agenda on them like that kid doesn't even have a fucking chance like this whole thing like gender roles, they bees by the way that my little experience being a dad going to kid birthday parties they, those kids
not old enough for that behavior to be learned through the kids come the boys show up at his fucking Braveheart? They come over the Fucking Hill, the girl those are social there sitting there. That kind of that taking things in you know the kids boys cumming, they fucking do that we were at one on Saturday, and there was this. This kids, the layers he looks like a little Bobby. Hurley is a point guard right. An he was playing. This game had like this ball and he was using his like forms as a bat and he was hit and then he would catch it. Then he would throw it between his legs. He was doing his kids. And I coordination was great for his age so over in the corner, where I was sitting with my daughter. Was these like little like sort of like cushions that someone had put together, like three piece thing and made it into like a little chair for Sona old person like me could sit down so I stood up because I was worried, I was going to hit so kind of guarding that so he went over and got the ball point and just seeing the chair there, you know all built
that. He just saw it and just kicked it just destroyed it and then continued on his thinking like. Why did he do that? This is a boy he's a boy yeah! We like ruin shit we got a lot of Nrg little kids like need something to do. That's physical, their little bodies have the little bag is overflowing with energy. I don't say: do that their ship, is all about, like grabbing, throw When's breaking breaking! Do you remember, being a kid yeah buddy did yeah. So this normal. This whole thing of like like well. Women aren't aggressive like that, because you know a slightly standards yeah, I think it's their aggressive in, but I think that lily from like just survival, ship they're, looking like right, that's what I have to compete with an there. Are you see them? Looking at the boys who appear to be, dominating, and what they are is there actually showing all of their cards?
the little girls are already taken and in breaking them down knowing. Well, I can't get physical with this person. I can't like dominate this person physically. This is definitely and they just immediately stuck on like that's why they fucking smarter than we are. I think no, did somewhere in. I don't necessarily they're smarter, I thought, what's going on is that men have. We have different dna and the genes are aggressive, and then you have to be reckless right. It's just saying it's not you. Society didn't sit down and they didn't watch 3c commercials and then be like. Oh, I need to be fuckin' this. I just think that's that's? Just some of bullshit that adults come came up with and it's adults. It's almost always women, it's women that think that there something wrong with the way men are raising their sons. They think there's something like this idea.
Of these men raising these. These kids being aggressive is because the weather been coached. That's not true. It's just it's just a part of being a boy. There's a bar shipped on the studies of people want to actually look at the science if you leave boys alone with toys and girls toys. Boys will gravitate towards trucks and fucking. You know things that they can hit. Smashing girl sit down there with little tea cups and they play with dolls. It's natural. Just a hundred percent natural yeah. There was a documentary on babies. Well you know what they bees are gender neutral, the raising their kids jendral neutral. So they don't call them a boy or a girl. In my thing with that is there's no way you're, not saying to your son you're sure you don't want to wear the dress and then the kid wants to fuckin' it wants to parents approval yeah. I didn't want that football. I guess I wanted the dress. And it's just like like I said you know my kids barely too so what the fuck do. I know I'm just saying my limited experience at kids Birthday party.
Is it's not even how it was ever even questioned that, like they're too fucking too young the fucking year. I have two years old, like the telling me that society is yeah that's ridiculous, but it's usually women that want to push this and men. Who are it's like these? These and don't like the rest. If they don't like aggressive man, they don't like manly men, and so they they push it well, it's not because they are aggressive and they're controlling and they want to run and that's because that's the thing where it like. If you really look at their agenda when they say the future is feminine, that's not inclusive and they're and they're all about I'll make this more inclusive. It's like now, let us say in so we can take it over and then we'll put you down is is the size ecology of the kind of
and that goes after that someone that's after like power, I'm not saying the average woman is like that. My wife is a feminist and she's into like inclusive schitt, but like people who are spearheading stuff, like those people are wired the same way like you know, I mean a dominator is yes, yes and there's going to be no room for you, it's going to be I think the way I a lot of that so called progressives. Extreme left is think the way we think say what we say or we will fucking destroy. You pull up that tweet that I retweeted today that David Packman retweet David Packman is liberal, progressive guy this woman posts on twitter. She would never vote for a man or a white white man or a white person. Why someone is white or male. He says it's racist and sexist. It is so she blocks him on Twitter. Today,
we should called Boston College demanding that they not have him back as adjunct faculty. It's crazy. So this woman post this. An he points out that it's racist and sexist, so she blocks him and she tries to get him fired. Ok. This is why that whole thing is fuckedup. Ok because he's acting like white people exist on an even plane, which is which lot of people try to do so. It's like he's not necessarily he's just saying that what she's saying is racist and sexist? Yes, because she, determining which is going to vote for based, tire on the race, but this other elements involved like the level that white people not saying all white people, but white people have fucked over people who are not white forget about poor white people who they fucked over. So you understand that, but the they're both right, but then like the fact that she then takes it to the point that because he had the audacity to have a difference of an opinion that that's the thing now
now we're going to destroy you and you can't be on this thing and then the other level of that is how the corporate entities I so afraid that one fucking nickel it's going to roll out because all of this It is you're just a paper tiger and till you get the big behemoth to listen to you and this all of these. These fucking things from award shows to this bullshit that One just needs to be. Like listen, this guy already apologize. This is this is an old fucking thing or look. You just had a difference of opinion that you This isn't the first time you're going to say something in somebody's going to disagree with you. That doesn't mean that this guy can't come back. And you obviously 'cause it's some shit. That's happened to you Avenue. Extreme opinion about this guy, because Color of his skin is like there's so many fuckedup elements to that that, but for because you can't like if you address that on any level um then you're part of the problem
It's not just part of the problem that she's trying to get him fired. She's trying to get him fired for pointing out that nothing is racist! I'm saying if you say what I just says: try to look at it. Three hundred and sixty oh yeah, as much as I can, which is why I love S park, is everything that they do, they do it three hundred and sixty right, Anne, So I learned a lot from that show by the way they look at stuff like that 'cause I don't fucking, know everything, but even just to I be like hey, you know, you know. Little bit, I Ennis and what you're saying blah blah blah. You can't fucking do that anymore, 'cause since you're part of the fucking problem, and so it's really gotten again the point like I've seen my name names but I've seen like you know, a tweet from a fellow comic telling comics what jokes you shouldn't talk about this topic. It's Who the fuck are you? It's like there's already enough people doing that you're going to like cannibalism. Now, have you really it comics say them real comics, yeah
I mean everybody has their opinions on somebody's act, but yeah yeah. That's ridiculous! That's not a real comic well, I wouldn't say that they are real comic. They just have an opinion. I don't agree with things like off uh yeah, I mean yeah, I mean trying to have less confrontations. Well, I understand in my life here that kind of ship drives me crazy. That would drive me most crazy. Is this bullying like she's, trying to get him fired? to get fired for having an opinion on something that she publicly stated. One of these that they did. Somebody running one of these things has to be like you know, and I can't just be private. It has to be a public tweet, Let's say that this is just going too far in this fucking thing, where you have a difference of an opinion now and they're. Just going to you know, take your fucking Bob away. You know I ran into this shit. You know when you know when the me too stuff
or started coming out. People would try to like you know. You know you had to tweet the right fucking thing and if and if you said anything, sort of oh it's, let's look at the evidence. God forbid. You fucking said that it just became this whole your part of the problem, then they would try to take you down or or or someone you were. You were friends with a doing a show with a represented by they would they would try to do like? that pressure to try- In the end it was just like in Aida sales like now, I'm not doing that and then it it just goes a right: 'cause you have a king leg to stand on will also the people that are doing. It's a small percentage of its very vocal minority, small, unbelievably small and the comics, it's like we're literally running for office were out there campaigning for this election and it never happens and you're going through red states. Blue states you going through fucking everything and the general census of people is like, like that? Was fucking crazy, like that? That doesn't make sense but no one wants to say it because they are
get steamrolled well how it Matt Damon Matt Damon, said we have to you could differentiation between the Harvey Weinstein's in the world and then someone who Aziz on Sorry goes on a bad date. There's a big difference between those two and they attacked him and they try to get him pulled off. That movie Ocean's eight yeah and then they were acting like that. Like kill somebody versus stealing a car versus Jay, walking, like literally the whole judicial system is based on. What you did is your punishment. You parents do that right yeah I mean you bad was what you did: yeah yeah. That's all that's what that sounded like. Yeah exactly we live in a world now I have to be measured in The way that I say that what he said you know affected me how I heard it and then also This is a type of all bald white male yeah, and they do they go. That route is like you literally sound like what the your again
stand down. It's a it's not going to last and I like it's like the end of the winter, and people want to go outside and get some sun on their face, and you you you didn't like no, no like taking people by the back of their neck and shoving their face in the ship. Is it that you can sustain that now this is mark, it doesn't doesn't work, you don't get people to change by yelling at them. Does work or you just arming them like what the we're doing like yeah, that that's not all you're doing is just building up resentment, yeah and more people want to take it down. So that's they don't understand psychology. So what they think is. This is their time. This is their time to get back at man. Is there time to yell at man?
the time to where the futures is feminine t shirts. Is it time to take their stand and then did you not see? The women's March saw a bunch of people walking, but listen, I'm not saying the points that they're making don't need to be made. I'm not saying that their complaints are not just it's it's the execution. Love it. Yes, where it's like you're, going to go through intimidation and destroying people like exactly peoples, careers and people. You have to publicly apologize it's so it's like the bullying people, yes, some of the biggest bullies right now. I can't believe it 'cause. I'm a lefty are on my side of the fucking fence, and you know when someone's on your side of the fence and you're. Looking at him, like you sound like a crazy person, that's when you enter like. You know what was your special strange times. Weird yeah like it's like. It is strange yeah. It is strange because it's they feel like
a justified because they feel like with a maniac like Trump in the office that they have to do what they have to do to change the world. But you don't change the world by yelling at people. It doesn't work that way and there's real points to be made is real points about I couldn't imagine being a woman working in an office with a bunch of guys trying to fuck you all the time it's got to be a God dam nightmare. I can't imagine having a bunch of bosses that literally tell you suck my dick I'll, give you a raise yeah that that happens. Yes, I can it's got to be hell. I get I mean I get it. You have to be gotta, be like an eighth. Eight on up to deal with every day I mean, let's be fucking honest, I mean there's really really fixes out. There is really good if you got Camelot, got a nice ass you know it's just like some of that is like buck and zero. It's there. I always viewed it like.
They give you watch like the behind the scenes of like a prison. The first thing every guy thinks is like how the would I not get raped in there right exam. Women have to think that just yes walking down the street so that How I I wrap my head around to be like wow, okay, like what they're saying is like 'cause, I I don't like like like a lot of the arguments. I don't like that doesn't make sense it's. What doesn't make sense to me is the children. The corn, torches burning and just be like, the way that this just I've been like a lot of people that they do. That with like our foreign policy like this whole fucking thing is bankrupted this country, every August. Now they just shut down the government, which is just become normal and all they do this to make it like: ok Is they just raised the level of debt that we legally can take on or whatever that's right. Let's do this for another year and
you question any of that. That means you don't support the troops and you're a fucking piece. Share it. You need to get the fuck outta here and it's like so much Stuff doesn't make sense to me like I just saw Michelle obama- they had this sweet of her wearing these glitter thigh high boots and said sets twitter on fire with their four thousand dollars. Fucking boat. And it's just like you know don't question where she got that money. The president makes five hundred grand a year. She blew four grand and thigh high boots and don't even talk to me about the fucking book deal and all that that fucking guy his first like to you know public speaking engagement things were like with major thanks and you go out on the road. Thousands of an all these guys are like fuckit. All these fellow Americans upside down in the house from those fucking bank accounts who did not get did not get punished in two thousand and eight.
They all. She really talk about like people who should have their fucking lives burned down those people in these guys they are in. With their faces in the same fucking pig trough as the guys with the red ties. An for whatever reason like I don't, I don't know why, like they get a pass, exactly it doesn't make any sense in the more serious shipped like drone strikes more since civilians were killed, a drone strikes during Obama's administration. I know that's where I'm at telling me you're fighting terrorism while you're creating more of it, because all I would want to do is just get revenge exactly, and you know I have very simplistic ways of how to get the out of there. How do you? yeah it's like. Well, I mean I'm not saying the air would be cleaner, 'cause. I don't know what like, when you throw a Tesla battery into the Fucking Ocean, what that does to it? I'm sure it's fucking horrible, but I know that there are
stop shop over there in the Middle EAST and they got oil and that's it. You know I was compare them member. That kiosk in, like the South Shore Plaza in Boston, there was a something was a place called wicks and sticks. All they did was sell candles. I was just saying like a really vulnerable business or pewter pot, but first they just sold muffins, and then they started doing full breakfast as well did like computer pot that just selling muffins. So if we stop by and muffins, and we had enough oil here We switch to solar power and I'll. Let you know the windmills are ugly, and I know that's probably just as much fucking bad on the environment, but what it does is. It gets you out of there bankruptcy them and then they don't have the money to funnel through the mosque too. Two, to fund the terrorists. Well, the United States is exporting oil now, which is crazy. We we we have a lot of oil right and especially through you know, I'm just saying, but if you ever suggested that yeah- which I think I just did, I think then for some
reason I don't love my country and like I'm trying to solve it, I'm a frugal guy. You know, I don't fucking know I don't spend beyond my means- and you know- I don't like debt and that type of shit- I don't know how the fuck these guys. I think that's why the president age is so much a little better sleep, the pressure. Imagine the dead bodies, everything all of that Aldrich is knowing how everything really works. Oh yeah, Trump doesn't seem to mind. He just takes an extra adderall keeps on truckin. It doesn't seem like he it all the scandals that guy seems complete he's a certain level sick mentally that it does Doesn't it doesn't get in? I mean because He hasn't aged at all. Not granted he's got all that white stuff around his eyes, and you know I don't know what he's doing with the hair
The hair is usually the tell tale sign, but I think it's great yeah he's one of the only presidents that you know it's like half of that show it's probably from a doll like who know where he's got enough money to do like a transplant. At this point, I can't do a transplant on that thing have any, it doesn't have donor area. When I he's got it all the back, Now he doesn't ever see what happens when it flies up in the back when the wind hits it, the back saw bald all because he probably did the original plugs and they didn't take. Who knows what he's got going on back? There he's got chaos going on back there. You ever see yeah, I mean he's the president had said, then the flap set up. Do you ever seen the the v of him. It looks as though he's a guy wearing a demon. Yeah like I was human where us mask very wispy such as we speak like it's missing. Look like good like to a noble baby. Do you know be nuts if he gets a second term and he shapes his head, there would be nuts and he would just look like the most evil fuckin' dude ever like that would be
like if you get a second term shaved, his head starts to an intermittent fasting. Lifting weights gets on steroids, drop down about a buck. Ninety jacked yeah, I mean that. Would I thank God. Yeah. It's definitely I don't know that's why I'm trying to just in my own little fucking world, I'm trying to chill out more and I'm trying not to fucking this just there's enough yell and I don't think that they need for me now. I think more mocking and laughing than yelling for sure. But when you see enough of those, the future is Mt T shirts and you see enough hypocrisy and you see enough people trying to take people out for commenting on what sexist and racist and trying to get people fired. Like it's a time of outrage across the board and you have to respond a little bit, you have to let people know hey. This is fucking. Looks like there's a certain obligation, especially comedians have as a
social commentator. You see some stupid shared if you're not commenting on it. There's a few used to go that route. Some people, just like I'm just going to let you forget your whole work week and on this and talk about a bunch of all small stuff like a Seinfeld type stuff yeah, I mean some people don't comment on anything. That's controversial. Some people go their entire careers, but what I've always loved about science, so is like. If you really listen to him, he has contempt. I said this on the comedians in cars. He has contempt for, like ninety percent of things, this anger underneath this ship Brian Regan's, like that to Brian Regan, used to do that fucking bit about the cattle prod. You know the walk, walk stand line on the on the the moving look at the airport when he would act out the cattle prod that he wanted to fuckin' through. I was just like there. It is there. It is he's one of the nicest fucking guys ever Brian Regan, he
so Hazelnut he's an unbelievable just decent, fully formed human being. He really is a great guy He also knows when to get on when not to get onstage. If he's drunk, you won't get onstage or the other day is that the story was hanging around. I had my show in the main room- and I said Brian went to settings like thank you, but I've had a bit too much to drink yeah. It was in the back bar little bit lit up and he just said. I just don't think it's a good idea. Yeah, I'm sure because he's got that squeaky clean act. If he goes up there is fuckin', can't yeah. He can't you just can't. I've only got twice in my life. I've been onstage drunk once was in Ireland. Oh that's too late to be drug yeah, and then the is not doing the Kilkenny Festival along time ago and then another time I had gone to a red Sox, Yankees game got drunk at the I thought it was sober and somebody texts me as I got back to the city going hey. You want to do a spot. You know I got off the subway one to spot as again, and I thought
You know you know when you so drunk that, like just drunk, feel sober and I got in stage- and I was just like oh shit- and I really had to slow down. I was like Suorin, vape, immediately, everything thing I learned it as a comedian was like I, I like open micro. Energy in the whole crowd, reacted that way and I had to kind of slow down and get it going. I don't think I did my time. I was like fucking sweating. My mouth was dry as just like all right That's it for me. That was my closing bit. That's it for Maine yeah. So I've never did that again. Yeah. It's anything that slow is your brain down. It's not! The best yeah, but a little buzz, doesn't hurt anybody. Just a little bit Now I don't like to. I have like a rule that I don't to what used to have a
before you go out and never ever know not even that'll drink. No, never. Why did I think you did well confusing me with somebody? Maybe so I'm like I'm kind of just I don't know I drank too much. You know I was just drank too much and then it just takes time off just taking time off from booze and right now I know you got on a big diet. Kick for awhile! You got down pretty light Dinia well pretty heavy, and then you lost a ton of weight and developed abs again I got four out of the eight I've got halfway there. That's good! Ok, halfway there and then then I had a we run on the road and it just fucking it just sucks man, I hate perfectly. I wasn't drinking for like two months now, almost three months and then six weeks, six weeks- and just you know it's just it's just it's just
fair. It's not fair that there's no way in a healthy way to really lose like five pounds a week, but you could easily put on six no problem, no fucking problem, especially in like New York. You could just fucking, you could do it. You can lose five pounds a week if you really have the weight to lose. I was going to say, like I was going to say ten 'cause. I know you're going to focus right. That sounds rough one thousand and ten year dehydrated, but you can lose five. No, but I mean like not losing muscle mass yeah. I just doing it the right way and you're going to keep it off. I'm not sure about some celebrity crash diet or I gotta make weight for this fight. I mean like, like legit, just how easy I mean just walking New York City get a couple slices of pizza every fucking night after a night of drinking you're of a certain age. That's it five pounds all of a sudden you fuqing slacks, aren't fitting the way this boost them. Yeah yeah? I do you ever do intermittent fasting. What that is yeah yeah. We try that yeah. It's called sleep
I haven't eaten for eight hours. It's supposed to wait. Sixteen breakfast break fast yeah. Now I can do that. That's not fasting is not hard. It's just if you start at four hundred in the afternoon, and then by the time you wake up the next morning, gone so long and not really even hungry anymore, and then you kind of fine and it's just that first night you're right. I know a buddy of mine does it he goes to it. I still workout. I don't do anything 'cause. I have this ridiculous amount of energy and all of this ship. Now it's just like I heard when you're fasting you're not supposed to do that. He's like it's all. Double shifts hard when you fast you're not supposed to what exercise yeah like you supposed to fucking be chilling. Now you can exercise, He definitely so, especially in Iowa this Aztecan Non doctor. To tell me I could do that yeah, so I went for someone with at least at the because it has a lab coat, Halloween costume to tell me that I'll get down. D'agostino he's a guy. That gets sad glad get sad if we have a good.
Ok, I guess. If it's Marty is asking me like, I'm sorry, does your name rhyme yeah, the short and something like God's hooks. What a great drummers of all time Steve get real gads uses a great name. Now, if you name your kids, get souks, it's just it's just not fair enough. Gads x is not a bad name. It's kind of cool cad souks number that people would say that God souks. I was like a comic book type thing I go. People are stunned today, get and souks. I would say six Xoxx element on common male arabic name. Given the means felicity, I know, but they did did they If your last name is sad, do you have to name a kid GAD I just
the picture part of the world where your name fuckin' rhymes, and you have to deal with that. Every time, oh God said yeah yeah I get it rhymes. Can I have my fuckin' falafel. I want to talk to him. He could do you show. He'll do show is funny guy. You talked about that. I don't have smart people on my podcast ever you've, never done it right. I did it once you do it once I do. I make an exception. We did it at my place. Ok. So it's been that long, yeah yeah yeah yeah. Well, we did it. No, we didn't do it. At my house. We did at his studio yeah my record yeah yeah yeah, okay yeah. I like how you do it, though I take a keep telling comics arms I'd. Look Local builders, he doesn't need anybody, he doesn't need anything. It's got a order and he just rambles yeah, that's great yeah! That's because of my
Albert the way you just said that when you just seeing anybody, anybody need anything, he does need anything yeah. That's where I went. It was my protective place. I went mentally, he just start talking to yourself now I was just like fuck everybody. I don't need anybody, don't get it. I don't care which wasn't true. I did care right if you did care, but you just say I don't care, I don't give a fuck, that's a pretty common thing amongst comics, don't you think? No, I think unique interest. Now I now. I guess it is there's a few guys doing that now, like you, the like the Vaughn, does his podcast very similar to what you do it. He just rambles. You know delay yeah, does it very similar, just rambles, but that's a great it's going to be a great way to develop material. Well. I try not to take too much from there. Uh. You know I answer questions, and should I have my little fuckin' tent poles. I got to get me through it, but I uh.
I don't like it. You just started out as a way to promote my dates. I would just talk: hey, what's going on and make a couple of jokes on mute, the punch line San Francisco, but but but but but it was only like a minute longer two minutes. Long then just got a little longer and longer. I would tell some stories to call in a service is how I did it and it would record me on the phone. So I little flip phone, and I will remember those you like add an airport talking on the phone. It was like a phone call and I'll be making fun of fat people and share their walking by along with those the no started get to be ten minutes, fifteen and then half hours. So the point was you know I I noticed I was talking on a cell phone like my head felt like I was getting cooked. And then yeah. So then I started like all. I need to know I'll answer questions and I had to think for awhile overrated underrated. Uh then I a segment, is it racist but then somebody said Tosh Point had something like that
go ahead and get rid of that uh yeah, just kind of did that now I just I don't know I just sit down. Sometimes I forget that I'm funny talking anybody. It just follows years. It just being on the road just talking to yourself in the car. So would you do you? he's over the road in your car, yeah really I listen to music, I fantasize about. In the band That's a big thing when I listen when I listen to music when I listen to a music, like you pick any fuckin' song and I'll tell you who I am in the band during it. I know you're an hour Smith guy right, though train Caporal, but I'm Joe Perry. Ok, when he's fucking playing the guitar and then when Steven sings, I'm Steven do the fantasy, I'm just like jumping around like I'm in STAR Trek. Uh. Then, when Joey Kramer. Does the now the drum roll in the middle that I'm Joe and yeah I just crush it. It's just a whole sucking fantasy of Maine. Have you ever met those guys?
I met Tommy Hamilton, Joe Perry did my podcast granite Bay yeah? Yes, that's great guy, like Ray so down to earth yeah, really hanging out with them. You like forget his when the greatest guitarists of all time, yeah all the receipt road he's a regular dude, yeah Steven Tyler at one time install yeah but I always like you know, just that that whole band experience is is be a lot like stand up where in the beginning, you're doing these impossible gigs and you get like this. You know you know it's. It's like you against that and even that, as you came up as an open mic or the band was kind of the class of open Microsoft an and you up there and you know if the crowd got the better you you'd like. If you know, if your body told that person to shut the FA cup whatever I just like that whole thing you know like when I read that one of those guns and rose books about how their first gig is in Seattle, and they had this van or something, and
broke down and they just kept going and they just with thumb. And they just somehow fuckin' got there at the last. Second, they just did the gig. You know I just I so I just would think it would be all like the it wasn't. It does great feeling as a comedian, to turn a run around yeah but to actually be in a band, and you know you did, was somebody else. You actually share it with somebody as opposed to you know. Fucking a buy yourself and go going back to the super eight. You know. I love that you do those pigs. Were you get together early with Dean, Delray and you guys play music and have sayings Dean Del ray can sing his fuckin' Azov dude, he's good yeah he's really good. He has all the rockstar moves in chess book and he's yeah we had great time the clips he was showing you that was at the forum an then I'm singing whole lotta, Rosie yeah
like holyshit yeah like that is he's, got a fuckin' voice on Batman and we didn't tune down a lot of times like when you go see a band. You don't really notice, but they tune down half a step or a full step, and sometimes people can get way the fuck down. Certain songs, but he they still I guns and roses recently. Actually, give me some volume on
that's my Andrew awesome cover yeah we did might be a little slow. It's like you guys. These are like your fun band together, but you gotta legit professional singer, well, that guy on base plays in Whitesnake
MIKE Devon Theo. James in Massachusetts, guy know he's a fucking beast, wow, some peace. For some reason, everybody looks like they're playing left handed there. I had a girl. I did once I got in a car accident with her some old man, a red light and slammed into us, and my car got totaled so they're taking the car away, and I have a box of my cassettes in the car and she sees the Whitesnake Cassette and she fucking threw it away. She said: why are you still listening to this and I'd? Let her let it throw it away. She must be beautiful, she's, pretty hot and she's older than Maine's nineteen. That's why one thousand nine hundred and eighty eight suck. My fuckin' whitesnake chucked it out so sad because that somebody sent me one is it still here? Where is that somebody sent me a fucking Whitesnake Cassette told, sorry, I'm so insensitive. I gotta! I think it sets it around here somewhere. So once I hear dude so bad those first relationships. The shit you fucking.
Sure you tolerate it's amazing. I know yeah, I know, but so she was a woman. That was the thing I was still kind of a boy. She was a woman and now she's. Twenty five she's on her own for quite awhile yeah, when when I was twenty three I dated a thirty year old, that was not a that was not the to go Dave that I think they treat you like a toy yeah. It was like you know. She'd, been through by relationships, so she knew how to put up. She knew how to post up in the things I was just like yeah, it was ready for it. I am yeah there is fine. She was cool and everything, but it was just like yeah. It didn't work, yeah, obviously yeah. I like I, was a dog like I was like. I was a. She got, a dog you know, like you know, chicks get! A german shepherd: no, You, german Shepherd Dallas morning, Psycho
it's crazy back then too, this is still fighting, so it like. I was twenty one and she was a college grown woman had a job in Akarere cds, which is, I don't think you know cassette tapes. I think God, cds in the cars in eighty eight did they know they did remember buddy of mine in eighty eight or body He had the first one. He did So I can scirocco that we know is amazing right, there's like a sports car yeah, and he had this might even eighty nine now, eighty nine or ninety, I can't member that's kind of a blur back then so long ago, but he had like the they would like mount it like. You had almost like a disc man. It wasn't like in the dashboard, and it would just sit on like the little console in the middle. So the thing if you went over a bump it would skip, and then they had like the big suitcase they put in your truck
and that way it holds like eighteen fuckin'. Cd changes. Oh look at this is that it for okay dead discs in eighty four wow. Well, just out of high school, so he didn't have the money. We thought he was rich in a Volkswagen Scirocco. I was in his car, in one thousand, nine hundred and eighty four wow. You know they had car phones back in, like the 60s that phones in cars. Yeah. We had a feeling that the presidential level yeah super rich guy yeah. I'm surprised you don't have a flip phone. However, I'm going, I would but I I mean I don't, but I like uh. I play my card games spades.
Gin Rummy, and she like that whenever I'm in traffic. Now, if I uber or something that's, how I get through traffic- and I don't flip out as I just fucking stare at my phone- you don't listen to books on tape or anything like that. I can't do that. You can't listen to books on tape. I've! Never tried. I just can't what would annoy me listening to the person trying to make it sound interesting. You know, what with the inflections in the voice and stuff that you yeah cousin. I am defensively. This guy thinks I'm a fucking moron, but it's just like and then in eighteen sixty two Haddad idea about having a poo, and just talking like that. I just feel like I have to just walking, read it read it like a Bayless made it like a bailiff, bailiff, You know I have that reference
when I got busted for drunk driving, the bailiff goes. This is what he said to gig as opposed to defend over proxy blah blah blah you know chasing to to you know whatever and which I, which is bullshit anyways. I had a eighty three Ford Ranger, the bailiff read the thing. He said that the resting officer asked to defend it where he's coming from and he stated in Boston and it was just like. That's not that's what I said. That's not the way I said it. I was fucking wasted I was trying to remember. He said come from, I was like Fucking Boston. Because in Boston. I don't want to get out of the car, and I was like yeah. I wasn't a jerk, but when the did the read write he goes
I asked him where he's coming from. He said Fuckin' Boston and I look like a like you know. Well, I was funny was standing there like these people who mug people and they were like laughing like wow this guy, this guy sticking it to the man, So I got pulled over for drunk driving once when I wasn't drunk drop. My phone dropped, my phone in the house, reach down and grab my phone and wiggle. You know a little bit right and I wasn't even reading my phone is. My phone was true. My legs and it fell on a is going to get underneath my accelerator and they pulled me over and they made me do all kinds of crazy shit and I did it yeah, I'm I'm doing all of it. I'm like look at me, I'm sober and they want to take a breathalyzer. I might ok. Why do you want me to take a breathalyzer like I? Don't I don't? I don't trust your equipment. You just got.
I'm doing all the tests yeah. Like look, I'm doing I'm on one foot, unfucking power here. What do you need me to do? I can do it set up some cones like we do you want to know if I'm drunk you know, I'm not drunk, so why you want me to blow in your bullshit like what's going on here and the cops they degrade me they. Let me go right, I said: look, I'm a big supporter police officers, or law enforcement I donate, I do benefits whenever they come up and I'm sober, I'm sober, it's look at once you get best ones. Most of my friends. We all got busted for drinking and driving the best. One was a buddy of mine they read his nose like practically four. In the morning we notice to Maroon Vw Fox blowing, it's horn, trying to pass on the right we pull. Defending over after repeatedly asking the defendant to stay in the car. We got out of the car through his keys at my feet and repeatedly stated lock me
I'm up, it is was funny. Was my buddy was uh, good looking guy and the judge was: was a woman an when the guy read that you know locked me up on Fuckedup and he wasn't the brightest guy and he just kind of went like he's like put his head down like that, he was, you know little pound, puppy, Fuckin'. Looking food in she gave him like a lighter sentence in 'cause. He was good looking, I think so, yeah, I mean it all plays in its. Why ugly people, plain and so much They won't take the how to develop a fucking personality rights. Some jokes do it. The rest of us have to do like. I don't get mad at Brad Pitt. You know and how could be fighting 'cause he's fucking beautiful, I'm a fucking ball
redheaded male. I know where I am in the pecking order and some of these fucking people who are complaining right now, who are mad, that beautiful people get treated differently. I understand racially speaking, but you're not going to do the awful thing, and then there's another thing that rises well. Society tries to they're the ones that, like it, I like would like as a supermodel like. This is a possible standard of beauty to try to live up to yeah yeah yeah. That's, she's on the cover of a magazine, she's that level beautiful and your to try and sit there and tell me that that was learned. Well, here's the thing. That's only women because when you see Jason, Momoa playing Aqua man, you don't hear men say it's an impossible standard of beauty that we have to Just make fun of that fucking but we have to hang on to look at how much you could kick my ask: that is the dumbest huge Rihanna Fuqing Cereal Box,
trident for years they had a problem like with Aqua man. It's like he's in the ocean human beings. Are on earth like what do I have to see that fucking movie? What are they going to Is it going to be like japanese people like finning is bringing to save sharp. He goes underwater. Is that his skin like well the bumps? What is that suit. Doesn't water get in the gloves I think that that had to be one piece right, yeah you're, being annoying as she does any worse than water in your gloves will look. It looks like it. Catches him like a water catcher like not just like water gets in the gloves, is like a funnel He looks like a stripper at a bachelorette party. He does have a good one money you got a good one, God dieted down, for that see. Did you got all the apps so he's bees better than I am always, but this is this is the fault line from one of the following? This is what he's the black sea in order mean cold yeah. What's going on the the UK, the UK's banned advertisements,
feature unobtainable bodies is I recently did deleted recently. The way they eat shin chins over there. This could be most of advertising. Well, they had the these ads for summer bodies. You know you see a girl in a bikini and that they are now making it illegal to. Like who inspired to that. Like I look at Aquaman guy. That makes me want to go to the gym. I don't feel You know you can Full air. Only look at like you got make me feel better. It's because the people that complain who the people there complain, the people that complain the don't want to work to be that lady. They don't want to work to get that kind of a body and they want they just want to not see it. They don't want to do. They want to go to the subway and see a body the never gonna have yeah. I saw I saw an actress complaining with time because the studio total, but she should she needed to lose fifteen pounds and, like you, can't drive fifty need to star in a movie I mean what what carrot? Can they specifically carrot? Some veg
what do they have to dangle in front of you to go to the fucking gym like the rest of us, like, I literally like I would say, oh guys, not to deal with it's like yeah. We do, of course. Yes, we do like I did so with that would be gained twenty pounds to forget about him. If you just haven't five lines in a Fokker movie. If I north of one hundred and seventy one. Seventy two pounds to fuckin' tweets. I get Hey Billy, whose bag Billy benched it's a fact, freckles, all of this ship that I get like I like they sit there and they liked it. They had like they're, acting like like fucking preteens, wherever thing is just everything about them and the whole fucking world gives a shyt celebrities with their fuckin' political view. This is the funniest thing ever it's like all, you're, not you're, not taking anybody change their mind politically. Yeah. I need a fackin speak up. It's like no. You can't have this. Spotlight on you enough, that's all I think it's all you're doing with that. Bullshit is your first, you're alienating half the fucking people that are going to go, see whatever the fuck you're in and then secondly,
you're just getting on the radar of lunatics in white vans with two seats that are looking up, how to fucking build pipe bombs like that's, that's the fallout. It's like the jerk when he goes average run of the mill son of a bitchin' already picked Steve Martin, the id the girl shouldn't, be asked to lose weight to look hot for movies, fucking crazy, because that's what your plan in a hot woman and there's hardly any job and there's millions to everybody's in ship, I'm a sexy and nice to a bit about this. I saw Ben Stiller in in in the meet the fockers or something there was a scene where he, I have a shirt off in the pool yet fuckin' ABS unit comedy yeah 'cause, that's 'cause! You were seeing the influence of for the fucking internet, You know me because, just like you know he did in your head people just fucking trash and you like, I already knew I was unsightly, but I didn't realize how many things that people didn't enjoy about get on the internet. I was like well I I have a notice that about myself, so
yeah! I don't have he really has like a fuckin' eating disorder. You know I feel like fucking obese. I have sympathy for those people, but you fifteen pounds twenty always on the fucking drink. Some can smoothies these. They're playing these roles have to understand. First of all, that part of the reason why you got that role is not just because your acting ability, but also because you're pretty you have a beautiful face, you're born with it. You didn't even work at it and then, on top of that you're supposed to be playing a beautiful purse, in the movie, they would like you to not be fat. What it also does not so common it is millions of dollars at stake could be lost so yeah. I We feel like your job. Is it maybe look like Maine, to show up on time knowing your lines in the best possible shape. You could get yourself in that. If that's the role, that's the problem, I eat even if I'm just played out here Rt Lang. What, if you're already laying in you're supposed to play the guy that smoking cigarettes near the brother in law? That's drunk all the time. Your job is to look at what your job so that way, yeah her job salute the hot woman that everybody wants to. If they're telling you
you have to lose weight and your beautiful woman? It's because they want to make you more attractive. This is not like discrimination. There's a reason they want to better they will make money yeah. They want to try to make it on automatic and I'd say nothing to like really but those both male and female. Like those beautiful people at that level, it's like the ailing like, I I've done a couple of movies. I did a movie one time and I remember it was a scene. We were in a car in the star of the movie was holding on to the steering wheel, and I was like, like I never thought this ever bought a woman. I was like her forearms, a gorgeous I was looking at me like that was like those four are perfect, but I didn't make me when I, when Stockholm, Sweden, how beautiful people without walking down the street pointed guys with my wife go near it. Look at that guy. Look at that! Fucking guy, like he's going to count walking down the street. That does you know if you fucking came over here. He starring in movies
that's, not all the Sweden by the way, that's like just when you're in Stockholm, that's like their Manhattan. So all the beautiful fuckin' people, but I mean I wanted to a couple- I went to this maggot But like a magazine or something like that when I over there in the woman behind the counter was like a fucking eleven here, but she is working at a magazine stand so that was their energi. Ok, how you doing I'm working in magazines in my dream, come true, yet you just look at at like you, you could sign with the who is that big for an agency yeah like that, all like Cindy Crawford, yeah them or with back in the day the Vikings Viking blood date, the best looking people they they went over there and raped and pillaged, and all that good DNA is left there, the cut the best women they kept them alive, killer body else. How is that? What happened? I don't know what happened. Thank you so
That's why they're so big beautiful, oh yeah! No, this super cool features of funniest things ever when you go over to like the. What do they call those the nordic and Scandinavian within the nordic countries always have to remind myself that, like you go over, that was the funniest fucking chick is so God dam tall. There would be kids, almost my height, whose voices hadn't change yet, and they had the mentality of like an eleven year old. Like Mommy said they were speaking, Why does hydrogen with change it? just sitting there laughing my arse off, but he's like fucking yeah. Everybody was like like sixty three thousand six hundred and forty six. I like rail, thin with their fuckin' european pants I'm actually going over. There come up, not stop the stock of next year, but I'm I'm going over Europe. I got that I got it run a ten ten days of yeah. I so you're doing a european tour when you do that doing three legs of
three Lexi, do three separate trips of ten days, wow yeah just because You bring the family. Do you just go solo, I'm going to bring the family on one of 'em. And then the other was only gone for a little over a week, which is a really long time when you have a kid and it and and it's not something that I look forward to doing now, but it's something that it's also gives MIKE a great life. So right now I justified so then I so I had to move some shit around to work less in other areas, but that's a good balance. I'm glad you approach it that way. You know I friends a don't they do. You know they're on the road all the time and they have kids, and you know their ideas of this is what I gotta do to make a living by much. Sorry, sorry yeah, I guess so, but thirty days in a row, it's kind of crazy. I put my kid down for a nap and like I'll, be downstairs for like twenty minutes and look at my wife, I'm like dude. I miss her. It's just it's so quiet she's hilarious, she's hilarious. So it's just like you know, yeah unbelievable sense of humor.
And yeah, and actually you would love it and you'd like to parent yeah. I always wanted to be- and I just was afraid of commitment and all that shit. So I waited I waited too long. I did wait too long so, which is why I'm going to take a fucking Donna with you at the end of this yeah, we'll take a sauna now yeah and I want to learn and- and you know she would really be great if there was a company out there that could somehow. Let me know I get a son in my house. Well Sunapee about there I was working with get a sauna companies contact both of us. Okay, because I was in contact with a guide to do something in my fucking house in this asshole drop. The ball is not returning emails anymore. So I need a new sonic company to. I called you last night free advertisement. Where is the fucking sauna, where the sonic I get back to us know his campaign to us and we get stuck in two weeks? Should we get back to him again? I twice got back to this guy like trying to get the fuck.
Thanks on installed in the house. I love those guys stuff like that. They're like comedians, like they don't real job contractors, of the gate, gag dance on a guy that this guy that guy they all got their little, then the handy man guys yeah. Well, I grew up with those guys because of my dad was an architect, so I did construction from the time I was in high high school all all. Throughout the summer I was always doing side jobs always had jobs on construction. As as a laborer hi arbiters assistance. I was always around those guys. I tried to do that. I I lasted eight days I just with my fair skin. We were doing roofing in July, and it was just I just remember. My job was I was putting in scaffolding going around you know when you fucking drill the hole, and then you put the triangle thing, and then you fucking put the bolt on the irish guy go Billy. You must work quicker, you much more quickly, as we kept saying to me and I finally stuck head out the side of the house. I was like dude. I've done this for three days. If you want me to fucking, go quicker, you know we would like
three stories up. Many. Finally, shut the up Been Vietnam Union Guy yeah do remember, guy on the site. I swear to God. He wear the same fucking jeans everyday with like no underwear right. It had a fucking giant talking whole right here on his thigh, so I'm in Fuckin' working in the house- and I just remember he stepped over something with his left leg in the whole flock whole moved right, just like flashed his fucking junk as just like, and I do how to stand up to people and plus you know The new guy on the thing- and I just was wanted to be like buddy. How about you put on Fuckin' boxers or something so I don't go. Look at your fucking Jennifer of he's walking around like a God dam nail gun not like boxers could stop that any extra layer of clothing that you could have
guys lately legs, you know, get owl looking out of a tree, it is burned in my head is dead. I could pick is G. Out of a lineup was time ever encountered alcoholics I did really know about alcoholics. So I started working on job sites and I realize there was guys that just had a drink they drink at lunch. They were drinking all the time I was trying to quit. Remember one guy is like I'm quitting. I'm done! I remember thinking, that's good! You can't you should together fifteen, it's like! Oh that's, awesome! Yeah, two weeks later, fuckin' can appear on the job looks like I just love. I could I couldn't eat enough. I was always high. I was. I would pack two sandwiches, three sandwiches and you just put it like. You were at the most. Yeah! That's what we used to do now. Those were like, like those guys I mean I I would come home like they got with the football practice. It was just it just, but yet I I
If I stuck around for another month, I could have got in construction worker shape. I was, but I just sucked at it. I just didn't, have it, and that was one of the things. How I was able to figure out what I was good at was one of my best actor, It is. I knew when I sucked at something like playing drums and I want to be in a band and anything I just too many music stores and I see some seven year old kid and just temps learn to play or picking up a guitar. I just knew it I was just like. I don't have that. I don't have that gift, even if I play better than I. The idea is that they were already coming up with. Speaking of which do I should've called you the other day I saw Dave Navarro. Does this with this band real machines like this. They just do this Christmas show every year and I'm with Ben Bailey the other night at the El Rey Dubois. What a show these guys put on like Subash Bob came out and sang highway to Hell sucking murder through Juliette Lewis. You know
fuqing american flag was that went all the edits, the serial killer? with Woody Harrelson yeah. What the fuck was that don't kill us, although you know all of those fucking move dude. You know some people, I'm a comedian who happens to play drums dude she's, a rock star who happens to act really do all my god. Really all my God, it was. She was so ridiculous of. I was just laughing how fucking amazing she was. She sang like Van Halen ain't talk about love, and then she sang dirty deeds. It is I'll just in the wheelhouse ship that I listen to, and I want to say she did one more and in the end she did like a fuckin' forward somersault into the fucking crowd, whoa It was just. Is there video this? I don't know I was. You know the band was so fucking good and then the as they had that was John, freeze, Chad, Smith and Brad Wilk, like so
during the drums, it's uh just recently, fuckin' play with everybody literally every Brad Wilk was in rage against the machine, an Chad Smith is in the chili peppers and those guys were just fucking. Destroying Ann who they had Steve Stevens for Billy. Idol's band was out there all these fucking guys just like wow yeah. If you get a chance, they were kind of talking like it was the last year they were going to do it. I hope it isn't, but Mark Mcgrath also was there who is fucking hilarious. He sort of like the like. You know, I know he sings the songs great, but he's also like sort of the M C slash comedian he's a really really naturally like funny guy, like you, I was it with the the comedian he was cracking us up. He went on to be like entertainment reporter right it thing about him is he's like He was over. I feel like he was always like a self deprecating yeah.
Like? He was writing hit songs like who the fuck can do that. He nicknamed an album like one thousand four hundred and fifty nine like making fun like my fifteen minutes, are almost up like he was like boasting himself while he was just writing one hit after another after another, and I've got to meet him a couple times. She's like one of the fucking rape people that I've met. This business I've heard that I've heard nothing but nice things, yeah, dude and he's a fucking he's a fun. It's yeah. So if you get it see guys like that, you go. Why don't you do stand up? What do you want to work? These fuckin' gigs working for entertaining television pretend you give a shit about some stupid sitcom. Good because of what how much of a chance for people given, because I tell you the sugar Ray guide me probably got enough. You know, try and like he's just one of those really like Just this do you love him that was funny shipment. I'll do this.
Is Navarro. That's I think that's Brad Wilk on drums. Whatever but he was making fun of himself before he came out there 'cause I forget who is following, he's going like I know. I know now you gotta listen to the douche from sugar, so just totally makes fun of himself, but then, when it love, then it goes up and he fucking murders it. So it's just kind of like I like I like, you just reminded me of like like a comedian or whatever. So did you get to hang out with Juliette Lewis? uhm. No, I have before she's cool as shit. I want to meet her art he's cool sure, we've gone back and forth online together I was trying to get her on the podcast few years ago. I dropped the ball. Alright. I was always worried that people like that would worry that I just
on a harp on Scientology 'cause, you know she's like crazy scientologist. I grew up Catholic with the fuck. They did and still doing, yeah. No listen. I hear you, but she I think she still active. They get sensitive about that ship. I was thinking of going back to church well, yeah, just in my own way how you can do it go, but I'm not going listen to anything and I'll stand up and sit down. You're going get these certain inflections No, but I'm just going to kind of go there. It's just a place. I don't know. I went last year with my mother in law 'cause. She goes We can wait for Christmas Mass and they had like this New Orleans Band and there was like dude if they had this every fucking week, as the band sounded great, I would go, but like I
I did it just sort of reminded me of, like I used to be a better person. I was so jaded. You know I used to go every fucking week. You think you're jaded from not going to church- or just I think, jaded just from knowing too much yeah and just you know it's just certain things just get out of control. You know what it is. When you become an adult, you have to be your own parent, which is like hey bill. It's time to go to bed hey Bill, lay off the booze yeah. You know just certain things. It's kind of get out of whack, you makes a real life, you know somethings up too high or too low, and I just felt like going there remind didn't mean you. It was a nice reminder for the week like hey, you know, how would you not be a country the next couple of days that that's what I get out of it? I don't get like you know. This guy walked on water and you know:
this is the right thing you know if you believe this you got to go to Heaven and if you know, if somebody believes something else, they're going to hell like all of that stuff is just silly. That's a do where you put as a good way of putting it that you have to be your own parent. When you become an adult, that's a great way of putting it because one of the things you get. Whether it's God or any kind of spirituality. As you get this idea that something is bigger than you something is higher than you there's a higher purpose, and you think about that. Instead of being selfish and just thinking about you, that's what it is you can get like you know being, Comic, not selling tickets is one of the most humbling things ever and then once start selling tickets you now. You can kind of keep in kind of float away a little bit and just like you know, like all the fucking bullshit, that you had to go through You know finding a flight you can afford and how you know what fucking dirty cat haired car they going to pull up into. Take me to the comedy condo, there's always cat hair right and then all of that goes away.
And then you know you just have this free time right like what are you going to do with it and this free time in this privilege that you have you can really go roman empire with this and eat and drink and smoke and be, if I you know, and just be a shark or you. Can you know you can I don't still be? Who the be as much as who you were or whatever, or trying try to help somebody out. That's what it makes me think of. When I, when I got was 'cause. I got so caught up in like this is bulshit that never happened. They made that up. This is just people writing this book and I went totally the other way. Sam come in the middle, like there's a reason why people do this beyond trying to control people and make money and power, and all that there is there is something oh, it's there's a benefit. The people that yes yeah yeah. So that's kind of what I thought I was going there. It's humbling it's kind of like what left lane, I'm never talking to you again and then I would start going back and I felt it pulling me back
like you know, isn't that bad I'm, like I kind of like it, so I went back with my mother in law, and I was sitting there going like there's an aspect of this that I like. Like the sense of community, yes you know I don't mind a little pep talk that the guy gives or whatever it would be nice? If I didn't didn't, think if I wasn't suspicious of them the problem with church, is the problem with anybody that gets in any sort of a position of power. It's easy to abuse it. So they have a guy who is a pastor, that's not a creep, and that really cares and is really a good person and really wants to care about the community and really right wants everybody to. Do better and get better with life he's in trying to buy a rolls Royce like Joe all steam and live in a giant mansion. It's like it always going to church. It always goes. It always goes south. It's absolutely
the old place, the old arena where the the Houston Rockets asked to play. He bought it yeah, that's how much money that guy has and then he fills it up. Yeah. Well, that was when they. When the hurricane came, people criticized him 'cause, he didn't open up his doors to all the folks who displaced from their home was teased him about that. It's like you, saw that electric blue carpeting put on anything, but you know you guys getting it all. Wet now he does. He has a sick as look at that place it's curtain that I thought yeah look at that fucking place. Holyshit yeah. That looks like Dice Clay's, and all those people are thrown down all those people paying to be there hi. I wanted somebody out there, scalping tickets. I got two by the altar there's two ways of looking at it right one. Is these getting all those people together and there's a sense of community amongst all of them and two? Is that guys make enough hock load of money and get so much power? You know you're, all those
people just at your but doesn't mean you're, not necessarily a bad. The key doesn't necessarily mean he's like what what can you do with that? We get and the reason why I'm thinking you know stay I've been in every once in awhile, gonna find a good spot like they were doing that rock and roll church thing for a while, the I remember one of my friends who a producer his assistant was, she was lost. She I think she spiritually a severe Julie or Asher's church was lost a lot of ways but She was doing this what's going on price at first, what four thousand nine hundred and fifty dollars for ticket to do you want to go what the fuck yeah we could do that with four thousand four hundred dollars. No, no four thousand nine hundred and fifty dollars for two tickets, where
section four row row row de, do for granted what that guy and that's not even at the spy catcher handkerchief when he's done preacher, how much I get for a book grow to words to not available not available. So now he's a resell tickets to you know what this man they got. Fuckin' season passes people probably by season passes to Joel sisters for stop I saw there was a place that I was at that he was coming to one of the one of the big spots I was at. He does these arena tour and he does Vegas too. He does the Fucking T mobile arena in Vegas. I want to see the show picture of him up there. His open, now smiling schitt, it's crazy it's a lot of money that make I used to say he so four, he. He can't look at the crowd. That's why either eyes
I still hear how they still believe in the ship when you lie in eye contact is the toughest thing ever whatever he's he's, making people feel good he's, maybe he's in show business. I want to see the show, though, he's in the God show Biz new happens. You have to respect that Arena ACT. I think I think there's something to that. Yeah there's something on it. So this girl that talking about she was real lost and I think she was jewish at four. Maybe. Convert to Judaism later but anyway, for one point time she was going to the rock and Roll church, she was like she was a sweet kid. She was like you should go. You would really like it I guarantee I would like it. Quit some young hip guy, probably sing songs, probably tries to women like get outta here with that right yoga class, it's like David Karesh right, that's how Waco got started. How did it get started, get started with one guy with a guitar and he brought
message of jesus- and he had some really profound things to say- and people really really help them feel better resonated with them. Then he started banging peoples. Wives and that's what happens? yeah there. It always happens with those rock and roll those rock'n'roll alternative churches. There's a few like the Justin Bieber guy. You know the guy that Justin Bieber has he's wanted, told Justin to get off the road kind of throw Johnston come back, come to Jesus. I keys get get these guys to do that. Great basketball players I play basketball to inspect, not played no way, no, no, no, no! No! No, that that goes into the road anymore. I think it was back and forth. Did you know tickle time off by terrorists or something the end yes or cancels tour, because the the the preacher told them it's one maybe is right, though, let's be honest. First of all, be probably is a billion dollars in the bank, and maybe he was frayed around the edges- is losing his fucking marbles, the kids twenty one years old he's about his face.
This is a human being could possibly only twenty one she's young there's the preacher. Look at wow wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow yeah, what the fucking dick root priests hold up. What's it what's going on with this fucking shorts brow No, no! No, no, no, no any guy! who showing dick route. You know I mean like the base of your stock you're, pulling your shorts down to base your cock, like that. You doing that 'cause you're trying to get layed, stop pull your fucking shorts up to a normal height. Those things should be five inches higher. I know what you're doing your cock is slapping against your You probably don't even have underwear on you fucking creep, Jesus does not want you dressing like that. No, and look at him he's got abs, Beagle Handsome guy. He probably dicks chicks down for the Lord Right, dicks dicks, some down for Jesus Stringham, big old, handsome
Amanda Guy taking him down for Jesus, apparently is a very good he's, always get to hang with Oprah. So you know he's legit they're all in the same business selling her Nyc so enjoy they're. All in maybe he's good at it. You know he's got something maybe helps people I'm suspicious, I'm suspicious because of his shorts just that alone that should be on the wall all over his church. This is me at my worst or the worst thing you do is in adult is to go out and try and find parents again yeah. That's the quickest way to end up in the trunk of somebody's fucking car. It's like find someone to take area yeah. Were you just if you I? I do see that your parents didn't pay attention to or overly coddled you. I think. Then you go. How do you start looking for a mom and a dad, a mom and a dad and mom and dad? And you just give away all this fucking power, give power away to someone who shows Dick route when they pull their shorts down to the base of their cock, like that, like is
cars, you can legally get your shorts down without showing your dick size, the pubic hair, trimmed. I don't think this thing. It's ok, it's! Alright! That's interesting right! If you gotta work and will be a problem, chaos down there? He pulled it out see the chaos like. Basically, that's that's. There's a lot of pubis that you could see right there. You can see a lot of peeps, but if you did it would be a real issue. Isn't that interesting? The same exact area is ok, if you're only seeing skin, but if you stop Pubg but there would be like hey man what in the fuc You doing. That is so not acceptable in public. It like that is that's almost like the male version of a thong. I couldn't. I couldn't couldn't wear a thong, but might be worse, but it's farming, though at if you have a song on you just a freak like I'm, a freak I got. I got to be honest, a naked guy always funny pretty funny. They could sure funny. I had to
hence depends on the central Asia, but if you're alone in something jumped out of a bush, I mean that's fucking, that's not a funny naked guy, but it went back in the day. Went streaking! That's right! The guy would jump out and run across a football field, or maybe it was the funniest it was just funniest fucking thing and Michael the guy now he's had it always had a silly hat and they would just start fucking running across and I would always get me the feet I would tense up when I would see them tackle him 'cause. I would think about his dick Is Roddick smashing into the third? I saw a guy, I saw a guy when I was at at Boston, University, terriers game. They don't play soccer anymore, at Nickerson Field, and I thought my God Father took me to the game and we were sitting there in this fucking Elliott was a bandana on any of his streaking across the field. And we were fucking crying laughing and security was chasing, was really fast. He had bandana in like these fucking, like you know, Adidas D, dragon snows way back in the day right
ran across and he tried to jump over this fucking concrete thing and he didn't land with his it was his inner thigh and the other one I was just like. Oh he got over and as far as I know, he got away, but I mean do it. It was just and it wasn't even like it wasn't ace concrete. Was that rough, unfinished schitt? He tried to hurdle it and he got a got his you got everything over and it was that other. Let other leg! Nice fuckin' raspberry! It's amazing how vulnerable you dick is Dick and balls. Just just have simple simple trip with no pants on and slam down on your dick using horrible, you would think they'd be some sort of junk rib cage. To try and put to try and protect it, but it just sort of turtle. Shell. No! No! It's just figuring this out there just out there. It's a terrible design.
And then that's why the function is. I mean it has to go in now case you didn't notice, you haven't been using your dick? You know what it's for it, so it's something someone's got something's got to be vulnerable. You know. Life is death star, because you're the temperature is what it's for temperature. Your body heats up too much. Kills your sperm so if your balls were internal and you were running around exercising you'd cook, all your sperm, so the hanging low on the outside. Well, you can't go like in and out like one of those electric antennas, maybe in the future it will yeah, maybe yeah people keep evolving. To suck it up in your body? That was the thing that we always hear bout way. Chiru guys wait. She was a very particular hard style, karate and guys would literally get kicked in the balls. It would kick each other in the balls and the idea was that under some dubious instructors the idea was that these guys could actually suck their testicles up into their body like they would train to pull their testicles up into their body and when they talk to a doctor
like that's, not possible donors like now, but they think they can. But there's some guys can a bill developed the ability to take a shot to the nuts. I there's been studies done on it There was a one of those sports science shows, while these guys They measured like the amount of force, the guys throwing at this guys, Dick when he punched him in the dick and the stand in it like this. Let's people just fucking straight up, punch him right in the balls and you can take us an effect his you know. If you want to be a dad, definitely not good there's a trick to it. There's certainly a trick. Would be that, even though you are definitely making contact with the balls really most of the forces in the taint in the back of the AAS, because you know you kick it, somebody write your foot is extends past where you Jane right. Your shin is here. Your foot is here so if your foot, but it's slamming into the ghaisas and taint
It's really not a thought about him as I have, and I've been kicked in the balls at least a hundred times hard by grown men who know how to kick by black belts. I've been kicked in the also so many times, because we sparring. You get kicked in the balls all the time. I mean all the time he probably just get used to the page. I thought before I had kids, I thought I blew my fucking balls are probably totally useless. Like I'm shooting blanks for sure. I just thought of all the times. I've been slammed into the balls I'm here I've had I've worn every Fuckingg up. There is especially back when I was competing. They didn't like now they have some pretty sophisticated cups with diamond mma as his cup, that's got a compression shorten it sucks down into you and it's really hard rubber. On the outside and you can actually take a good shot to the balls and it's not going to kill you. But back when I was doing it would get, those jocks would just be a cup that fits in a jockstrap and you pull then eventually they made some for martial arts, where just curved under
A bit more in the cup went back to your taint and the The downside that was it it was. There was a lot of abrasive nous when you're throwing kicks. It will rub against your your inner thigh and there's no compression shorts back then either, but I I but I am absolutely been. I could up bet everything I have. I been kicked in the balls a hundred times, nope about it they should take like fucking. You know, I do like a mold. They should do a mold of your junk custom. They should right, group we use like, like a mold of like all the rockstars dicks. Oh yeah, that's right, yeah seems like a fleshlight for porn stars. Do that so they They would so secure yeah. You get a gross look at your face, and I just yeah I I get I get weird it out by yeah. I get weeded out by that. The flash lights yeah like once. This is the
non human element in Ok, you want to fuck this thing that isn't alive. There's just something like you know: yeah, that's just fucking! This is my asshole. It's a rubber version of cancel yeah. I always I always you think when you back in the day when you had, to get porn. You had to go into a store. I just this stuff, always it just seems serial killer. Like body part, type d humanizing yeah, it's very effective, though the flashlight was a spy. Answer for awhile. I remember days yeah those things are great. I don't know I'd stopped using them now, even though like I was trying to try it. I had to try it He did it for your listeners, oh yeah, that's it only for the listeners, it's very effective! Ok! What's that it's kind of a jingle. What
Oh Jesus, Christ, I mean it's. How do you not Blake become. Like how does that not to brain damage, to flock that, Jesus, that's so disgusting. Can you don't you think it's bad getting caught jerking off? Can you imagine if you swam in this foot, the is first of all, it looks real enough that you fucking killed somebody, and now you fucking, oh my god, you can fuck a whole leg. It's crazy. How realistic that looks it looks like she's hanging from the ceiling through this season has like the skin of her heel, looks like it's kind of mushy a little bit, Like it's moving around because I want this site might get a little weird, it says you can build your own mannequin here. So let's just get the phone yeah. We are what do I mean synthetics?
that's what that's called synthetics, yeah and stuff like that, something something like that: What is it about everyone I will elbow you do? Is my business I don't know that's when decks, I Thank you by that. In a few weeks later, you buy a giant freezer keep going down that road man yeah it ain't good, does not good, which I honestly think like there's so many people that had tendencies that never you just living in log cabins and shit like you just never were able to explore an. I feel like the same way. You know I can watch all these people building cars and stuff or you can tap into some dark shit about yourself
an you know, this thing opens the coffin lid and sits up, and then that's in your fucking personality. Now it's it's a very it's a very I yeah. I try to stay away from like that. Well, specially, if your kid that's been abused, I think that's the real trigger real triggers kid. Get abused, get abused young and then they develop. This anger in this hatred then as they get older, then they find these weird outlets. I can attest to a lot of it basically describe my fucking life, so anyways we can fuckin', let's go get in the sauna, let's do it this up days. Inn. Gentlemen, Jesus Christ. Now we look at your fucking foot when I'm in there Yes, please show me something else that I don't like talking if it yeah the only benefit of February 19th,
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Transcript generated on 2019-11-11.