Mark Normand is a stand-up comedian and actor. Check out his podcast "Tuesdays with Stories!" with co-host Joe List available on Apple Podcasts.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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list and you could find out why at com, dot com, Slash Rogan, my guest today is one the best stand up, comics up and coming in America today, he's fucking, hilarious and cool guy to boot. Please give it up for Mark Normand the Joe Rogan experience join my day, Joe Rogan podcast by night all day, Penn Jillette said there. Penn Jillette told you that it's fourth, not forty and he's A well read man, oh yeah he's! Ah, he was just on Alia, is an interesting cat. Is that true? Is he correct Jamie there's a little thing over there he write two pronunciation yeah. Well, that's like the word literally so the term literally, as we've actually change the meaning, because so many people used it wrong. Okay, four forte with the air right there,
and only a in first worked and then put on there. So there's two different ones, but it might be like selfie how it just gates itself over a while yeah thing that someone excels, that small talk was not his fort, a or fort well, maybe a fort was original, and then someone kept fucking it up like to Merrick yeah turmeric yeah, we were just talking about how to Merrick has an r in there. It's are which I didn't know at all. Until Laird Hamilton put his coffee machine in here. To just turn the volume down Is that my mic is. I hide. My head. Cans are little hot turn down precisely yeah. She's got here's a media frenzy years, Pat Carney likes to hear himself loud. Talk. Shit he's got some hearing problems, oh yeah, oh yeah,
star, drummer, all those guys go deaf right or they have issues. Well, that's the dude from ACDC the lead singer. Say anymore right because his years of just shot, that's awful man, yeah every song sounds the same. The back, Just I don't know about the Bel MAR Bro. I may not like a fucking first, I don't know what the best well, they are an iconic I'll. Give you that I, like your songs, there's certain songs, I'm on the highway to Hell. Yeah there great road trip, video game songs, but I feel like they kind of bleed together little bit. There's a sound They have an ACDC sound for sure. Shirley in it? That's all one sound yeah, but but you know, but but back to turmeric
You know how, like the Middle EAST, there's not a lot of funny people out there. If that does not big part of their culture, is comedy in the Middle EAST and Seinfeld things. It's because we have a love of language. I think that's why Americans and british people are really funny, because it's what we think about the words. I don't think there is a with German, not a lot of German. Haha. You know what I mean. We had a german comic that was big in Germany to came to the store and was here for couple of years, trying to make he didn't suck, but he was really it was off. Physical exactly in Germany he's huge, but it was all like slipping on stage pratfalls. You know better than that. We got word the words they're, the interesting part of what you say. The writing. You know it's a thing that people don't consider. Those pratfall guys are always in pain. They're always hurt, that's true, like so always mentally yeah, but in Physic
The way I think I was always wondering about Chevy Chase, because you know Chevy Chase's Supp supposed to kind of grumpy yeah. I've heard that yeah here is a deck of her he's. He gets real grumpy and I wonder if the dude is just in constant pain I mean, because you know member how many times he used to fall down like you fell down all the time Saturday night live. Did he yeah yeah in fletched, the the the on the detective movie, yeah yeah. He pratfalls all the time like wicked hard for walls where it was clearly him wow. I didn't know he was a fall guy. You know buster Keaton he's like so underrated. He broke his back and didn't realize it, and the doctor is like so when you break your back. So he's got that crazy story like that. Guy fell all day long. I think it was his neck in fact was its neck. Was it NASA just, brought this up in the show. Didn't Jamie, didn't somebody just talk about that which is a few episodes ago. I maybe but he's he's
like not really brought up a lot of fucking crazy, how balls he was and how innovative it was. He would do stuff like he would draw. He was for one of his game. He would paint on a wall a hook and then hang his hat on it yeah This is who who about Jamie Jamie I'm trying it was been pen been him or maybe been him. I mean it's all. Bits clever. This is amazing. I mean what twenty four yeah I mean that that were just right. There is amazing, yeah jumping through that person, and I mean you do this all day. It's all clever, it's all redone a million times, but he did it first. And there was no one before him right, so no, no, yeah and everything ends in a punch at all that always pays off. There's no weak ones, just Sometimes he would just try it and I heard an interview with him and he was like yeah. I would just go forward and sometimes he would be in MID air and you think of another thing, and then you do that before you hit the ground, I mean brilliant check him out. If you don't know him and he's right now
We're watching video with him running over the top of a train and clearly really really doing. Yeah he's really doing he's going to do some of that hook there. It is wait for it, wait for it and the come broke his neck. No, that's right is that right, that's what the video yeah, the the the under estimate, the force of the water coming out of it 'cause like think about how much weight there is behind that water. Like waterfalls, look if you jumped off of the Niagara falls and hit the bottom. What would kill you mean? Might just be the force of the water hitting you against the rocks right right? I think that's what happened with him like he got hit so hard. I believe it was pen yeah, but whoever it WA ce. Well, they they were just explaining. That was the weight of the water he underestimated
it kind of kills the whole fucking in the waterfall scenes in every movie. You would ruin it. You get pummeled. Imagine like you're headed up there and it's your idea and she slips and bashes our brains out against the rock looks just 'cause. It was your stupid idea. She's like this is: do it right here, let's go to the waterfall and you're so stupid. You don't stand. How much force is coming down? Yeah, yeah, there's a hot scene and cocktail. Wasn't. Blizzard that Shue, they fucking the jamaican waterfall. I'm a big guy guy had no cable as a kid, so we would just watch everything that came on Do you remember that movie with Elizabeth Shue and Nicolas Cage, where he drinks, in gets a boner at the very end. Of course, one that's a good drunk guide. Think I mean those ran I'm drunk boners, we've all been there here, it is cocktail scene
there. It is wonderful. This is all this. My whole childhood just these weird 80s movies on Vhs that were weird somebody. The good point about how we have so many out, like I'm dating a lady, was younger than me just bought fourteen and she's, always like I'll bring up a movie like ghostbusters like never seen it godfather, never seen it I'm like. Do you care? You know you want to see that she's, like I've, never seen it. I was born. It would came up for my time and I'm like yeah, but I know about the 70s in the 60s. Why do I about that. I know about the fit. I know about Buster Keaton. Why did the younger people now? They only go forward, they don't go back at all. Have you noticed that yeah, I think they're inundated with, too much stuff, I guess I think about it. They got Hu Lu, they got Amazon, they got in at Flix there strange things constantly they're doing TIC Tac and Instagram and everybody's checking social media to force a kid to sit, down and watch. You know now
Optional, lampoons family vacation. Good luck! I know what it's good, it's great! It's great! I don't think they do that as much yeah. A lot of kids are playing video no games share in their stream and things and Youtube giant for the past giant. You could never suck it all up, but here's the here's, the clinker is, is they're missing out on a lot. I watch the office with her and she's missing references to a Fuckin, Indiana Jones, joke and I'm like you like the show, but you know that's what you missed that joke and then I gotta explain to her and she's like who's, that I don't like it is Harrison Ford. He was of this. He was an archaeologist he's archaeology that sounds terrible. I'm like that was fun, my nine year old watch. Is these little videos on Youtube where they blend things, these kids to get together there silly in the laughing, it's so dumb and they blend things, but it's done because I'm fifty two right, if I was nine, it would be awesome like for her. It's awesome like she,
is really enjoying it she's laughing. It's like it's, not fake, laugh and she watch is and whether or not you tell her to or not she's interested in it like in a blender. They just throw food. In a blender and try to drink it. It's so it was so. Does it's so so, there's being silly- and you know things so out of hands hands. Then they show Show Slo Mo Mo the things slipping out of their hand like it is inane it's just made for nine year olds by people who are like odd and eighteen and nineteen- and I bet it's got millions of views, millions of you, so you can't predict I'm trying to write the best joke ever put This video out is the funniest video. Nobody cares and then you fart on a on a taco cell, and that goes viral. Well, do you know the make up art just a drama that took place on Youtube? Do you know about all that? I got roped in that too, because of my kids. There was just You see. Yes, this is young homosexual fellow who has make up tutorials
and he got into some sort of a public scrap with his mentor James yeah. Some things I did here, but yeah this, this guy wow he's good. Look the videos for fucking enter. Training, that's quite hilarious and he got in a scrap with that person. Right, yes and Who is a lot of lot of terrible things were said, but it was. I had you know MIKE what is happening here. So I'm like what is it? What does he do? He just he does make up and I'm watches make up their oddly their oddly entertaining yeah it if it is press. Anything is good things like networks messed sloppy, but entertaining they missed that everything was done. Well, everything ended with a laugh track right. They missed this there's a hole. Ave call. You know, I'm saying yeah well, look at me, I'm on the fucking Fallon, I'm wearing a suit.
I don't wear suit, but they make you wear one yeah they make you wear one. The gritty off of everything in the grid is the good. Well, you is the good the who you really are, who you really are? You really are when you want someone to conform at least aesthetically, to who you'd like them to be like? What do we do in there? Let yeah, we're fucking, t shirt. Who gives a shit right? Why does it matter? We should learn that when remember when you're kidding bloopers came on it was the fucking greatest thing ever es, but we would rather bloopers what you gonna do, but that was that was we should have held on to that. We should have gone towards the blue Ppe, well, America's funny Tom Videos was the original Youtube, that's right right kicked in the balls by Shetland. Tony I mean that was that was it yeah? That's that's what everybody realized they wanted to see. People get kicked by animals the way they run the show. Now you submit a Youtube link to them and they just take it from me to put it on the show what tv,
but it's on tv, but it's Youtube clips. That's where they just gave up they tapped out. They gave into their maker the tap tapped, know that was Danny. Tanner, who is a dirty comic or not dead. Bob Saggot, nice yeah, but that's just his name right. That was his name in the show that was full house now, a full house name. Yes, yes, and it was dirty comic if filthy still is me is now, but I think he probably had to take time off, was doing the show right. He didn't do any special or anything. Remember America's funniest people. What was the death? This is spinoff. They needed time slots to dominate, probably tons and tons of tapes. They had to put it on another show they have animal ones too right. The difference is that's what they can't compete with Youtube, because Youtube chose nine year old girls getting launched into the air by Bison and Yellowstone Park like really getting launched you like holy fuck yeah. This is the tv unclean
version again: yeah like car hit by a car I've seen with my phone fist fight. You can watch all sorts of like cartel shootouts on Utah on Youtube, but yet you can't say you know some weird right wing joke that funny how it's The words were all about now, like that's what I never got about like. If I do a pedophilia joke everybody's up, my ass, but we'll all around the campfire to watch the Michael Jackson, Doc yeah, like that happened. These be split. Your at least talk with what the kids asking apartment like this is crazy, but the joke that some comic tells bothers people. I find that odd. Well, I think both Those things bother, people for sure I mean the reason why the documentary was made was because people were bothered by it. I know what they're they're excited to watch. It's like a cultural phenomenon would like well, this is going to be big big show tonight. Well, it's the popcorn we know something was really wrong with Michael Jackson. You know
something is really wrong. There was never anybody quite like him that was from a tiny little boy like how old was Elvis when he got famous, probably like twenty or something right, maybe later than that It was probably the biggest thing that had ever happened in pop music before Michael Jackson, but Michael Jackson was the first that we ever saw. That was a baby when he was on ABC it's easiest one. He was a little kid who dancing around with his beautiful, afro? And then we watched him become a grown man, one of the biggest superstars in the world, and we watched him go insane sure we knew anybody who got that much plastic surgery. You know they're insane. I know some is really wrong. Yes, we all knew it so when the the sex accusations, the pedophile, yet accusations happen, of course, everyone's going to want to miss it's not like you know it's it's an.
A human oddity as much as it is celebrity, gossip disagreed. But what is it about jokes that really bother people more than a movie. You know you get a movie rape, but I'm not a joke. You can really. Graphically. Show the rape, everything the old he's acted out in a movie, and then you always hear these actresses later like it was pretty. Pawling I had to like crying the trailer after and all that and we're like. Alright, you win an Oscar, but this guy in a nightclub talked about this rape. He's he's evil I don't know, I'm not. I don't tell yeah I'm not a big rape joke guy, I'm just saying like it's weird to something about jokes that really crawls up people. Because I think they're in because it is home on one of these is sounds like you just talking right. If you were, if you or if you've got a movie in the movie, you play some the serial killer and you know they did You know prepared the scene for you, you're ready wearing the clothes
I told you to where you're not doing the lines in the script. We all know that we all agree. This is a dramatic interpretation. I don't know what you're doing when you're doing stand up. Some people are just being too and satire right, like some people are pretending to be racist. To pretend to be a republican asshole, but it's just a character. We've there's a bunch of guys to do stuff like that or some people, You know, some people are sarcastic. Some people are like Jessel neck. They say the worst shit and it's always hilarious. I love him. I love him too. And what he's doing is he's he's. That's not who we is. These are great jokes, yeah. You know this is not really lighting the maternity ward on fire. It's just the name of a special right. It's like so there's a bunch of different kinds of cut and then there's other people that just fucking tell the truth. Man there's other people, wouldn't talk about all the way.
Weird shit in their personal life will talk about anything and you go. Oh. This is just a funny guy who's great at telling the truth. So it's like when you say their jokes, but everybody does it different, yeah I know, but in the problem is it's sound. Is the real problem for people aren't standups we're stand ups, it makes sense to us. People are fans of stand up, it makes sense to them, but to regular folks were getting mad. It's c seems like you just talking yeah, but why do we buy the Jeselnik, but we don't buy the other guy 'cause, it's culturally convenient. What do you mean Some guys are better at it. Haha some guys. The writing is cleaner and sharper. It's clear to just yes: it's not just clear he's he's preposterous over the line into joke, obviously, into Brookland and he's obviously really smart, like there's a thing, it happens. I think when someone really good at writing. Jokes, where they're, given it
see you in a way that you were almost equally impressed with the fission c of their use of language. As you are with the in it, you can see the art in. It Jason X, that a combination of both right he's got the funny, but he also has a very impressive way of setting things up, which is a smart way of setting things up. So you let him get away with more he's funnier. I agree, but I think there's something also to hiding the tick, unique, you know, he's he's so technique is a technician. He's precise he's great at it, but I think something about the guy. Just Loosey, Goosey, yeah, sure and you'll even see oh shit, that was the punch, don't even see it coming. No, that's the thing little to no, it's great to there's no better way. You know there's Joey Diaz, who I think is the funniest kind. It's ever lived he's completely loose yeah completely loose. You know, yeah, but he he'll catch these waves. Well, you can't believe a person is it's possible for a person to be any funnier
does hits Joey ever seen. Murder, I've never seen him like. Oh my god dude. He always says that go down like I want to see. This hits these waves, where people just like, shut the fuck up where comics in the back of them are holding themselves. I've seen everybody man, I've seen everybody kill yeah I've never seen anybody stronger than Joey wow, it's just these. It's not like he is a Jessel neck typewriter with like, if he does a special it's going to be so polish from the beginning. To the end, now he's trying to find himself in it but Scott seriously, underrated joke writing about really his economy of words he just says shit. You don't see it comment and hits you you like a brick yeah you're like oh, my god, you know that's what I love, but I love Jessel neck too. I love I love Seinfeld love all kinds of comedy. I love the fact that Hedberg had any different way of doing it. Then Santino does yeah everybody's got their own
thing. I know it's a it's a cool art. Love it. I love that I'm in and I love that I'm getting paid to do it, You know, I understand you know. Yeah he's super conversation. Yes, like you almost think the he's just saying this for the first time he's talking to you like a friend like a cat he's one of those guys we are at the bar. What do you do commit you know? Is a moron you know, he's the guy, the guy you like, hey, hey, he's your brother but he's a fucking morning he's a fucking moron and then he starts being funny right he's the guy. That brings you in, like let's have a drink yeah! More of that I'm I'm such a nervous. No but I'm I'm going to have every word precise. How many years in are you I'm about one thousand two hundred and thirteen ish? Well, that's. We are then yeah. That's it! I'm okay with it. I like it. I'm I'm figured it's a great way. You know when you, when you get it polished down,
It's like some of the most impressive stand up every one of my all time. Favorites is Richard Jeni he's a beast on my God underrated it's hell, but but he was talking about per se. He was I get five let's see here may be five good minutes of material here. That's why I killed self. I mean it's brutal yeah. He was super precise. He had the hit a bunch of mental demons and fortune yeah. Don't I ran into plane once I was coming home from. I think it was Austin. I was doing the and he had a corporate gig. We just said hi to me. What's up Richard? What's up man, we're talking, you know just like right behind him and he just seemed so fucking bummed out now to see what is happening. Is the young com here, like your bombed, your killed it you're, one of the funniest guys over you don't get it that they can also being successful and miserable. Well, mental illness is just it just gets people the same way. Lung cancer gets
make share the same way. Polio or you know something that you can catch. He was just depressed man like severely depressed but got damn. He was good it was because that was the only time he was ever having fun when he was doing up right. I didn't know the guy that well, I only was casual with him a few times, but I was a giant fan. Oh yeah, I worked at Eastside, comedy club when I was like um. I think I was probably twenty three twenty four, it's my first time making it to New York and I was doing long island and they told me that Jenny had been there that night or the that weekend and did two shows Friday to show Saturday each totally different. It kills me dude. It was the hardest thing to hear yeah yeah. I always hear that uh, this kind of order an hour, your possible line. How did he do it? They were in there every I was in awe. They were not. It was Joey Kola. Oh yeah,
this one again, yeah he's a great guy he's like a long island legend he's a great guy. We were talking about it. We got the fuck. Does he do that? Joey was a head, me? Hey had been doing stand up longer than me. He had like you know more more time that he could do on stage, but I just couldn't imagine ever coming to a point. My life we're out of four, could four different. Hours, that's great, and they said he murdered. I believe it just murdered. Do you have that deal your bill? Hicks say that thing of like you know the material is what you see back on when you're out of things to say, which I don't I don't agree with. I think the material is what you show up to Dio, that people want to hear your point of view. They don't hear about. You know they might wanna, hear your rant a little bit in the beginning, but do the act that was Hix his style, he you know he had his own way. His way was like he was trying to almost inject philosophy into people. While he was telling jokes, jokes are really smart and there's obviously he's obviously a smart guy. So that was his thing, but I hear you, you know
think about him, though, is he didn't have podcasts right Ok right, he could have used, one would have the greatest podcast ever and then a bed is stand up, would have gotten better because you wouldn't have felt like he had to he. So funny on Tuesday or so poignant, poignant yeah, he would it would have felt like I'm just here to have to do jokes during the pike. As I get to talk about life right, and what everything and I don't even have to be funny. Yeah I've had some bad court, you mentioned corporates. Did you do any? No! No, thank God thank the baby Jesus. I did a gig at the seller. This guy showed up and he goes. I like your stuff, you ready you raw come to my country club come roast. My country club. I was like oh great, so he's like he gave me. Sheet of, like all his employees, all their dirt and he's like really zing am really make it vicious. They always say vicious and I show up and like Mercedes and you know Benz is everywhere and Maserati's and I'm like oh shit, white tablecloths. I go up and I do the MIKE
tap everybody I'm going to do some comedy and they go he's gonna roast everybody sit back, he's got a cigar in a suit and I go. Hey Bill and bill stands up. When I go. We all know you're on coke. We've seen it and feels like what his wife like wow, God you're supposed to be clean and I'm like, oh well, that didn't go. Well, then I'm like hey Jeff Jeff. We all know you're cheating on your wife and she's like I knew it. You know, and the kids are crying and rob I know you're gay just come out already, and this is all the shit he gave me and the place you know This is in a in a in a brouhaha, and I in the guy came back to get the hell out of here. So that was tough. True story, I would imagine you with a double check, No, I just use what he gave me. This is all I knew seems so ridiculous that guys- and now did you ever communicate with him after that.
Sirius fear that he was put to me like what happened like what do you? What happened? I I did this you gave me- is that b vicious hate because he's like, I thought you make it funny. I'm like I just said the I made jokes, but I still had the dirt. It was back. Try to do a couple. You know jokes. After about tax season and peanut butter, but it didn't fly nothing. No, they were, they were just yelling at each other. They were rude, the whole thing was ruin a ruling party. I got wait. I have a bite with a guy really and it was a solid check. I might say nice chunk of change. In court, but they don't. They always said I've been fired from every gig when they say be edgy every time they don't know what edgy is edgy does dead inside and he does. This is you know, abortion and miscarriage and AIDS and anal and cuifen jizz, but these guys as they want. You know, maybe a Jew joke or something and of those things where Eve though I might enjoy it by classical definition like what it actually is, I never
I enjoy hearing someone say it's edgy now whenever someone says something's edgy, I'm, like you know what my dad sounds like horseshit. It's nonsense, so edgy you got to see him he's really edgy. I don't want to see him now not seeing anybody. I'm not seeing anybody. Edgy term is just a gross term. Edgy, it sounds turkey, it's rated r, woo, just corny edgy edgy mean I think you're like trying yes you're, trying too hard exactly be cool. I don't give a fuck his edgy he's going to I'm going to make fun of me. Buddy! I'm talking shit right. I do like dark uhm. Oh, don't get me wrong too. I don't like that word. The word edgy just kills me same, so it makes me think of the worst. Yes, like that's just the shittiest right. Well, they always say: that's not disc. Peaceful? That's bad taste! That's what I always say when I do edgy like no one called Richard Pryor Edgy, I mean I guess you could
bob nobody. Would you? How could you day? I wouldn't push edgy, really I could edgy comedy like Richard Pryor, but get away from me to me. That's just comedy that's what stand up is, is Richard Pryor? That's who he was right yeah, he was in Steven Wright. Steven Wright found his thing yeah. I know that's the the great thing about it is that it's like. If you had a drug that has a bunch of different, affect the soldiers drug, you go to the store to get it. The you don't know what you're gonna grab bag. You know I mean that's interesting. What drug we got today could be a could, be a birth control. It could be speed. I guess we're going get comedy. Okay, how common is going to save just fucking. Whatever we just took a laxative yeah, I mean it could be anything yeah that guns and roses. It could be Barry Manolo right, it could be. Anybody
in the east and it seems like they're, never happy with what it is. You know we needed. Would you be if you went to see bands- and you were like really in the a c d c- is a bunch of Fiona Apple clones like enough wine a right. I get it. Sarah Mclaughlin you like puppies, get it just like that. Apple. She was good, but I know what you mean still is I'm sure. So Sarah Mclaughlin's got a beautiful voice. I beautiful you you know sometimes you want to hear fucking chrome yeah yeah. I hear something or yeah or gold plus a lot of different PS tag in it. I guess there's different styles, yeah, did uhm. I got hired for, but I shouldn't say the name, but I got hired by this internet company pretty big one, and I was Just wondering with Google now is older couple letter three letters, so I got hired by them to host their Halloween
show I was the host like Bob Barker Style, bad suit. Skinny MIKE and they're like be edgy, so is hosting the Halloween costume. We had a live audience, judges, the whole thing and they're like bitch, We saw your act, we like it. I go great, so I'm trying to be funny, I'm getting so Zing, Zang's and cat. Woman walks on like a sexy catwoman. I make fun of her pussy joke whatever going well, you trying to be funny, it's not easy and then she's walking off in an african queen is walking on like she's, like a big head, dress black lady and I go hey watch that whip around the African and I swear to God. The cameras went to like the whole thing shut down, feel like the power went out, and I think that was weird and they fired me right after you can't wait a minute if someone's wearing Afr in garb can't say the African I said, watch the whip because Catwoman had a whip and she was
passing her going off and see where I'm going on. I thought was a quick. You know, that's funny, man thanks. I appreciate it, but they didn't think so now they fired me the it was the first day I supposed to all five days. How funny is that I mean you would think that most people would just say well. That clearly is a joke. Of course. Of course that's about as jokey joke. As you can get, and in my dumb mind I was like ooh. I fucking nailed that one I thought so just quit was quick. I wish you were at the seller. That would be you nailed it right, but I don't know Would your dumb parameters are people just because you're in a you know, you're you gonna company, I don't know what you like yeah, but the problem is you're. Doing corporates can't do well. I needed money. I had a brother yeah, get it helped. I took any gig in Harlem, I was in Connecticut. I was uptown downtown all Rooney. I just do bachelor parties, no microphone. Horrible horrible gigs, you do what you gotta. Do that's brutal. I've done a couple. I did a couple with no microphone kind of good for you, though,
Looking like writing, like you want to be a good fight, I wanna be able to grapple. I want to be able to get to a bar fight and win. I also want to be able to you know, get a get enough playground fight. You know in a boxing ring fight like you want it all. Just like sort of fighting mix it up mix it up now for sure I think those gigs are good for you, even the ones where you bomb just just to It also gives you a greater appreciation of the good show and you might have more enthusiasm, but go to comedy club? And you know the Middle ACT is already killing and you get out there and everything great energy. Like you cause so good yeah. I realize how good it is because you did a corporate gig right. Maybe you wouldn't appreciate those club gigs, of course, unless you had done the corporate game, do you remember when you found you. I remember where I was when I bomb for like three years straight when I started- and I remember how I clicked I just came online and became who I am and it changed everything what you do
was that a show it called MOE Pitkins. That was the name of the bars on Avenue Ave way, and I was bombing. I was am I dumb horseshit observational, and this guy started heckling me and I just a bombing and living in New York and having bed bugs and just being poor and sad and lonely and drunk. I just snapped this guy and it was killing and I was like being made. I was just calling this guy a piece of shit like what's your life and I broke down his whole life and made him feel like an asshole, and I left there like I felt like a an archangel. I was like a phoenix rising. It was amazing, so you realize that you can be yourself and if you are yourself you're even funny exactly. I was in this Seinfeld e Paul Reiser Shell and I cracked that macadamia nut opening got out of there. It was great, that's beautiful. I felt ten feet tall. I love hearing stories like, but I still bomb constantly well, if you take chances you're going to bomb. Of course, if you write new jokes they're going to they're going to fall right,
lived in New York, yeah yeah, that's when I got the I got way better they get way better. I had to get way better. I was coming from Boston working in Boston. I'd rely too much on. Like regional humor, It was also there was too many like bar gigs, where you can kind of sustain yourself and guys did it for too long. The adventure venture out into the rest of the country, and so when I did go to New York, I felt like first of all, ten minutes of my material now is useless, had gone like bits that were killing it used to. Pill before level. He will get you lower yeah it does it does. It was a trap sure yeah, but it works, I had some serious bomb set. In some really bad sets, and I had a look you like realize. Like okay, I got a really really really go to work and look at this. I can't just look at this casually right. I gotta say why am I: why am I so nervous when I go
stage like why don't hi? I have a really good bit to start with right eighties into it, like. Let's look at all the problems that I've had in awkward at first, you can't recover, hey, you know, lose exactly yes, so all those different things when you make you, when you have to move to a completely new environment, you're forced to rethink how you comedy because now you around the Chicago guys yeah, maybe the Chicago girls and guys do their stand up different yeah. I mean you get you get around them and you oh well, these kinds of is another level. You know you go to New York is another level. This is This is a higher level exactly in the York in LA or even different, sure. No, this is like different styles and, like all of it, is good for you, you're exposed to different styles you're exposed to different audiences people. Who don't do the road, like you can't do
it. You can't be a real comic. If you don't travel exactly, you could be like a knee. She weird, but you got. If you want to entertain the country or the world you gotta get out there a lot of those needs. We're rose from boss or some of the greatest comics of all time. That's true! But it's not smart. It's like the the problem is, then the world doesn't get to see yeah only the people around you get to see and you're missing out on a giant chunk of the the people. You could approve it with with a caprice at your work. You could have these fans they would. You would make them feel better or they would see you and laugh like you're missing. All that is missing all that, because you're not making the right steps yeah, it's actually kind of close minded just it's convenient sometimes going to get married. They have kids, you know they get stuck there in the school they don't want to go. Then I want to go on the road every weekend. You know it's like it's it's too much yeah, but you you lived in New York. When you move there did you have money, no yeah, okay, I lived in all right. It was real bad. I was actually staying with my gram.
Father was living in Newark, New Jersey, North. Ninth street right next to a guy who got his door broken down for selling crack sounds good Audi parked in his driveway cheddar, yeah, MIKE My father was there in bought a house. I think he bought a house in like the forties and somewhere later, like the fifties, the sixties, they did. This thing called blockbusting, well, I would say that hey. I think there was a storm. So sorry, they would say that, like hey, black persons into your neighborhood black people going to move into your neighborhood and it's going to drop your property value. In cell now, before this happens, and a lot of people panicked I just sold their houses and my grand father was like I like black people, I'm staying right here. He just just never moved He was just like. He was like this. Is my fucking house, This is where I live, and he he
was there and it turned from this all italian neighborhood. It was a black neighborhood for a while, and then it became right now or when I lived there. Rather, it was more of like latino in great community. There was a lot of spanish speaking people. All sorts of different countries. We need I didn't do a survey and find out what country they're all from do. You think black people go shit, the lateen Those are moving in like do you think they get upset about that. Like you know, blockbusting with think it's all about where people can move where they could survive cheap. If it's got to be cheap, orders go there to artists of the lowest rung of everything, yeah yeah brokers and and least week. We can't do anything at least like black people and Latinos, they have like some skills. With one skill and it's painting, or some shit, yeah or telling jokes. It was always like a badge of courage for guys lived in Alphabet city like wow.
Real, what they sail a a is for the d is death. See, is, I don't know, cool it and be values? Yes, it can be. It was, you know, be. Careful in a was anal, I don't know it was something that whole area was, if you knew a guy who lived there, he probably wore We wore those one of those fucking boots, Doc Martens yeah. What's that? No, he the Doc Martens guy? If you're a white Guy and he lives in alphabet city. You would like a tortured fan of the creeps right here than the creeps here. I think that band had such a cool. Logo that a bunch of people just signed on to become fans just 'cause. They like that creepy we You know I'm a greenish kind of droopy, weird fellow, like music for bad people. Remember that it was a good t. I remember I dated a guy Yahoo goes, shows and chewed marsh and should come back with headaches damn
busy and yeah. I talked to the head of a fucking Mosh pit at some punk rock show the rat scaler yeah I moved in. York with four hundred dollars and I got bed bugs the first year Lord died of AIDS and I got mugged three times in the first year. Oh, my god, it was hell man like what knifepoint Point uh. Well, it was mostly my fault, I'm victim blaming here, but I was always such a blackout, drunk that I was just like asking to be mugged. I would fall asleep and wake up and guys were going through my shit. One time I fell asleep on Hells kitchen. Remember the bar Rudy's that you got a free, hot dog with every beer, so it was a hot spot but been so drunk. They threw me out, and I was walking down Ninth Avenue and I was like I was going to lay down for a minute, I'm so tired, because I had to go to when you have the whole the Brooklyn on the subway. That would take two three.
Yeah, or sometimes really oh yeah- that at four hundred in the morning, yeah two three hours, 'cause the trains change and they never show up, and you know, and then the garbage train comes it takes for and I live in crown heights. Man which is like way out. So I I fell asleep in there. Alcove and I woke up in four five guys are going through my shit. There, blockbusting and like oh shit and I was like wow and he goes he's getting up and he hit me. I went out again and they took my keys, my phone, my joke book. I mean every wallet and starting from scratch with no money. You gotta buy somehow get a metro card, but you have no wallet to get the metro card. You got no agree, a credit card to get the wallet. I mean it's, it's brutal. How did you get? What would you do? I just had to walk home which took forever and then I think I jump the turns. Miles, got home and then know you find your roommate. You call your mom and she helps you. Oh, this is a crazy story. I fell asleep on the sub I went like four stops past mine in Brooklyn. I got out.
I was like I'll walk it. It's a nice night. I see five guys in the corner right out of central casting shooting, Dice thugged out guys on the corner drinking, 40s and I go out across the street. These guys look a little shady and I walk Cross Street and now an older guys coming to our white beard, big older black guy, and he gets up to me and I had an old ipod egos given that radio- and I know it's not a radio that thinking that would like you know, turn him away. And he goes just give it to me. I don't think so and he grabs at it. So I grab at it now were tugging and he picks me up and he slamming me against a business like you know, when the metal gate, close is that Powell Powell and I'm kicking him and punched him, and I can't, I think, was on PCP or something and before I know what those five guys run over and just beat the shit out of him. I'm talking he hits the ground that kicking him in the face and
it's like I'm. I grab my plan to get out of there, so those five guys help too. They say my life yeah holy. I I I talked to a cop about it like a month later, he was like all those were drug dealers and they can have some white kid getting killed your name in the neighborhood, so they had to make a choice. I was like wow, thank God for drugs, you can't judge? I told the judge, those guys when it like a local mafia. They take care of their block. Exactly I mean that's with the mom. Always did the one thing. The people liked that lived in communities or run by the mom is that they cut kind of kept in order right yeah. It was terrible order if you fell foul to them. You know yeah, you know you had an issue with them. Yeah I didn't like them. They always have the mob when the my ah brand Vegas like old. Ladies there I said it was beautiful. Yeah mob ran Vegas, it was classy you hit about buddies, Nancy. He was like the Providence mayor and he was like a big big mob guide.
Everything was clean and well well run, but he was also whacking people in the back of a butcher store. So you get the good with the bad is like Al Capone is showing up with a turkey on Thanksgiving, but then he's killing your uncle for not paying the bills yeah yeah yeah. That was the thing about John Gotti and Crown Heights right. He would like the fireworks. Was Round heights. Is that where you lived, I don't know sound places in Brooklyn. Was it Bensonhurst? Maybe events that was very italian? Wherever was where God he would? Have this enormous fireworks celebration every year and everybody knew that the godfather put on this fireworks celebration? It was like his peacock, others would flare once a year and you know they all appreciated m and had come to give him respect- and you know they have this open display of the mafia in the form of fireworks. Ha ha. That's great and everybody knew it was. It was a weird thing, like everybody knew that he was put it on loud, very strange, very strange, and then they were in with the
What's to so that's weird, you feel very safe, but it's all so scared. I don't know it's a different kind of order. You too much murder. The law version is fucked up and you know people go to jail for things that they did do and there's a lot of real problems with the law, but it's better than the mom yeah. I guess so. This is better. It's way better yeah. It's got issues, but it's based on the idea that we're all equal and then we all have equal rights and the laws are supposed to protect us from people committing crimes to us and stealing from us. Imagine a mob guy knocked on your warehouse and was like hey you gotta pay up exactly. Would that be great? Would you do hire more seals? You got seals here, that's what those guys are yeah. I don't I'm not paying anybody. I don't. But then now you're at in the bad spot. Yeah you don't want to be in the bath
yeah, so it's a tough gamble and then you just thinking about your laying in bed at night, and you hear you hear somebody tap it on your door and you're like fuck, and then they start taunting you, then your life is ruined. Then they fuck with your wife yeah going on the up and that's how they get people to pay yeah yeah. Now, that's all we get scared. Now they call it. Unions hold sorry. Sorry, some unions are legitimate. Sir you're, obviously on hooch you've drank too much of that Buffalo trace. He circulated around the hooch boy? You got big minutes, look at the size of those hands in Jesus, a good joke, a man while all right, sir, at the coffees, I'm on the moon here, no joke it's not it's not! For the timid heart I gotta get the Buffalo and me just to even out mmhm long night, this site, layered Hamilton, cough sun, he's a he's, a hunk he's a hunk of a man him as wife. Would you love to watch them? You know Patrick Pat, from the black keys. Yes, I would you're a little lacking on. They would have a meeting with genetics. All
even Larry, David's, kids, a RON he's a troll. You know I love him, he's my hero, but her jeans just took over. They picked up the weight. The life Jean yeah, the white. It's a life is beautiful yeah, so the wife Jean just picked up the extra weight like we got it, we got it. Don't worry, aren't you glad that women find funny? What would we do if you you know your real problem you're a year of a wildebeest, I'm ugly, but you know like real pro yeah we'd be fucked? Thank God. Women can see. Past looks I can't Imagine if we would have to wear makeup, oh god, like I was watching a lady this morning in the car I was headed, kid had a a a little thing at work at school. One of those little one of those things called with a mass, KERA now with the billing date on stage in the you'll simply of sand. Thank you. Why could I come up with assembly? I was just at one this morning. Let you get away, I'm looking at this to him. I'm looking at this,
lady in traffic and she's applying based on her face and she's doing this. All, while she's like in between traffic unbelievable. They hit the red light and immediately they put in there. They put in their mask yeah pulling it up now such a weird thing to want to do yeah. I feel bad for women. And I also hate when they blame Men- for that you know they got some in a man's world. I got to wear the make up like no you don't have to, but you can also be considered less attractive, like it's a give and take here how much less listen. Man for girls, but there's something hot about a girl, not wearing makeup sure, but you, you have a nice face too. I mean, realistically, you can't just not have sound like the Dalai Lama. Well, let's do it out with him. No, what happened they were talking to him about. There would be a female
Dalai, Lama and jazz bud must be good. Looking uh well, I'm not saying that the lady was like what the news. Yet nobody wants to see this face. It makes like this ugly face. Oh he's, no peach himself, but I'm saying biology is the ultimate misogynist sure really break it down. You know women get they gotta get pregnant before this age and they also won't have a career, but they want to get they got now they want to get knocked up, but then the it's in the boobs in the button, the waste that sucks and someone then want a career simply because- as they want to show everybody that they're not inferior to men. Yeah! That's weird! You know it's like societies. Correct. Now, I'm not saying trick them, but trapped them in the city These were not only do they have to have the babies yeah they have to, they have to create humans, and on top of that, they have to compete with men and show that Can I always find the women who are mothers are also like corporate people. There, like in
insanely competitive. Yes, you're! You like, like a guy. Real reason if she went that way. If she went the corporate way, she'd be insanely, competitive lor, which is why she was this killer. Volleyball player right right and you know, like I really feel like. That's. Ah, that's ah really new thing for humans yeah. When what year was it not that it's not that it's bad, because it's great that women have the option to do whatever they want. But what I'm saying just historically how recent is it 'cause? It seems like it's only within the last one hundred years that women have had like this sort of kind of really working alongside men, yeah and business in the board rooms and making the shares seasons and being ceos of companies, which is great if you're yeah. You want to do that and if you had any stuff to be good at I hate all like we got to put a woman in well, let's see so right, a woman, who's good. There are women who are good at it. It's it's insulting and condescending
put a woman. You know we want to have a good quote: a convo like that with my friend? She has a tv show and she was talking about wanting to hire a diverse cast of writers, and I like, like good yeah, that's number one! That's another one should be. Are they good exactly well, I just wanted to look a certain way. I don't want it to be all white men, I'm like okay, you got one shot at this to do stand up, so you got one shot this you gotta put your blinders on and just say who is the funniest? Isn't it? What are the? What group with this? Is it a photography you trying to make a funny shirt, you'll get it. If you don't think that someone can be funny, but right for women that you might be right there I'll be right there. I agree with that. That's where the UFC is great, you just let it go just touch it and it's fucking you got a russian guy got an african guy got a swedish guy. You got a german guy and irish guy, no one's going It is not over Blackpool. They got still those here. Thank God! So is it now he just good right now, and then you get the good women till you get the sideboards in the what not some the rows these it just let it happen
to be good at work. Work itself out. Yeah, that's fighting is the ultimate meritocracy right, yeah completely completely, which is why it's so popular yeah. I think it's just it is little bullshit in it as part of his bad decisions and there's injuries and stuff, like that. I pokes right overall? It's like the least bull, a ball yeah, all sports. I think it goes back to the blending but check your daughter's watching because it's just bait we want base, it were craven basic shouldn't just- and I know basic like an insult now, which is ironic, but it's like we just want give me the core we got so much dog are sushi, has mayonnaise on it. Now, when the fuck are we doing the best sushi? Just the simple role give me a dj, don't put, you know, don't give me reach around just go with the shit that works. Don't put hot so, my dear yeah, whatever that is, or the fucking certain whatever they eat Mint, it's good, don't bro, don't break what is it don't fix with Saint broke yeah? That would be the most ridiculous porn series ever ha,
ones with this, where they just put different kind of hot sauce on dudes dicks, and these girls are crying and snot coming out of their nose. Blowing guys who have like Dave's, red hot yeah that wouldn't be. Their drink enough. But what is the one that does this? What's the most ridiculous one they always have on the hot one shot, the last at bats, the last dab it was called yeah, there's one that it's like. Are you got me some of the as a skull and crossbones on it and I'm telling you I have. I have a bowl of like chicken noodle soup and you put a drop yeah. I just put a new media who won tiny little drop, also dumb for those salesman, you're never going to sell a bottle, but you are you're wrong. Who's going to buy above a drop goes along way. People some people can do it man, we can't do it, but some people can do it. I don't get it they used to get these guys. That would come from Nepal to this chili there's a place called chili, my soul and Encino, and it was crazy how hot this guy would make his chili. I mean a fucking insane. He had different level,
like level one level two to Africa with the number system was, but he had this one level. That was so fucking, insanely hot. He would let you try it, but they would give you a tiny little paper cup like this. Is all you get, your hung would go numb, you couldn't stop sneezing fun or he told me these guys from the pool came in ate that and we're pouring more hot sauce on top of it. Jesus There's no way because I'm telling you they just have a different thing: yeah system is set up differently. They can just eat it. When you can, I love hot you know I'm from New Orleans. You know we grew up on that ship, but I don't I don't get the painful stuff yeah. It seems it seems like a risk, fun thing like jump out of a plane or something I feel like some people don't feel things the same way. Oh well, that's for sure for sure right it has to be yeah like, like you know, people have different tastes in art like some things that I think are garbage other people willing to pay thousands of dollars for like this is amazing. You know, there's things that big. They resonate with some people with other people, the
the people think their trash yeah, but I think a lot of that is B s. They just want their friends to think they know what they want to seem culture, but I see what you're saying, but I think there's a lot of art. That's just about the image yeah there's a little bit of that. Ok, but what about music done like think about the radical differences between jazz and say, hip, hop like there's definitely devote days for both yeah, jazz and hip hop and they can be more mutually and more different yeah. I like both yeah. I like ball too, but they're so different yeah. Like some people would love one and hate the other totally totally my dad? So that's like a just a take like appreciation for things, but is there that much variation and taste buds mister muscle. There must, because there's things I love that other people think are disgusting. Well, they say you eat you, take what your mom is eating as a as a fetus like that's the first introduction to, like you, know, preference mmhm, and I think that has a lot to do with my friend from Whitman Mass Joe Liss
We have a podcast together. I know that guy yeah, you know Joe, he eats like a nine world he'd like hot dogs and ice cream and burger frozen, fried chicken now he's introduced pussy, but eating. He and I love bikini, Ello avocado! I love weird shit. I want I want all of it I want to. I want indian food. I want Mexican hot and all that, but he's like that's crazy. That's that's too much and I'm like how can you and he just grew up with pizza and birthday cake and she apps. My mom is a foodie cunt, so she had kinds of weird stews going and I mean my mom would push anything I think she's like a depression era, horror 'cause. She would have like a fridge with like a chicken bone. Runs in a box of cream and she would make something. That's hilarious! Oh yeah, yeah I'm going to say? Man, I'd love, different kinds of food. I love indian Food man, love Indian, put an indian food, kick lately thai food,
Love ties the best asian. I think I think so too. Food and people just get well. If you ever been yeah I've been to China. Super nice people, Thai Thailand, like the nicest people you are going to encounter it's strange honestly, everybody is so friendly best. Looking at, June two. I think they look pretty hot yeah yeah, but you might, you might be catching the wrong under oh, that's a deal well, gender is a construct, it is and there is the best proof of it good point. They also figured out best way to kick people in the legs? Thai boxing interesting elbows, the best elbows knees and leg kicks at time I thought brazilian have worked hard. All the way to the Brazilians is Jujitsu The brazilians figured out Jujitsu in the ties figured out kickboxing, not about crop
gods that any good sure yeah. You don't hear much about cross. Well, it's a combination. It's a self defense system that the uh believe it was created. For the israeli military. But what essentially is is the best aspects of all these different martial arts, like a Jeet Kune DOE like a jewish Jeet, Kune DOE, Bruce Lee's idea of The was like you take what's useful from whatever martial art and combine them with crowd. Magaz, it there's some of them. You know some. More striking bass. Some are more grappling based in terms of what what they teach in the classes, but it's essentially a combination of, but the striking arts and grappling arts or not Judy two techniques, along with karate techniques, more thai techniques, so they they do. They do real, martial arts and so yeah you could you see a crop Mcgaw expert like they got you out with that? Guy is a real martial artist, okay, side watching the some those because
food people to do wacky share. I really like, I don't think. That's really just noises you're, just touching the going the chest guys falling down what they're doing is real stuff so that they just combined it isn't it funny how the Jews really flipped when they got to America, you go to Israel and it's like chiseled TAN tall, full, a silky, hair, hot lady and then in America. Just like diners and banks, what happened? What do you think I don't know allergies and you know stuff like that and crazy mom. Well, I don't know anything about the jewish lineage. The genetic lineage, but I would imagine, is difference between the European Jews in the Israeli. But it's s some about America, look at african, american, black or african black and then after Americans very different mmhm. You know, I think it's some Eric in General, yeah, it's America. I think
Do you do you can deal with almost every group, like italian italian foods, different here, yeah, the spaghetti and meatballs? You think that's a time that doesn't even exist or that clear, exactly yeah their pizza is not like. Our shitty triangular mess. Yeah, you know yeah, their food is very fish oriented here is light. The meals are like these long experiences. We sit down for multiple courses right right and we got to all kinds of. We got olive garden. That's what I would that's what we did do it bread sticks. Well, I think that's, probably the price you pay for being competitive. Right. Yes, if you go to ITALY, they don't have a lot of industry. Most that mean You go to the touristy places. Of course it's all tourist, but you gotta think what chunk of their economy based on people visiting ITALY. It must be enormous yeah, it's got to be here. I mean I've been there to see the colors.
Yeah! It's got to be an enormous sum of money yeah. He has to be like, I would say it's probably fifty percent of their economy or something crazy rates. People visiting them big on the cat calling over there. This this country is a real big. They they go hard in the paint yeah yeah, but this cultural. This country's, like frantic, well like the most frantic ants at the center of the colonies, money, money, business, business, business, yeah, corporate corporate corporate chains, specially somewhere, like New York, We stood on top of each other yeah. I mean I saw a little bit of the real New York and now it's just pink berries, Dwayne, Reeds and Chase bank. It's crazy. I saw a little bit, that's also I was getting robbed. He know everything in this doesn't seem to this episode in and it's the it's, the good. The bad is a balanced. You get mugged. Do you get spit on to get cat call, but then you get the the pink berry to the free land has been there forever, and you told me the when he first moved there. It was like all artists, yeah,
now. It's all bankers yeah. So it's so weird how it happened. It's it's cookie, guys rolling through downtown and lamb genies yeah. There's a lot of that now. So we're it's very and like neighborhood, you go to before had like this cool dive bar and now it's his wacky condo. That's all glass and futuristic and you're like what the fuck is, that one of this pop up yeah, I bought a mope ed. I love this thing. I'm zipping all over me. Manhattan. I don't know why more people aren't buying MO peds in New York. I mean it's perfect for Manhattan. Manhattan is fourteen miles long, two miles wide. It's just mope, Ed City. And I'm seeing I'm the only guy out there I feel, like I beat the system, I'm jumping from spited six sets the other night jumping around our moment, yeah, it's the best. You parked right on the sidewalk a lock on it run in run out: no parking, no tickets, no garage is to wear him again hit. I do, but I I got a gotta live man, I'm just living. He just live in it
yeah, I'm in the I'm going through red lights. In the bike lane I mean the real lane, I'm all over the road, and I got a podcast in my ear. I'm listening to you know Jim Jeffries or something while I'm zipping around Malcolm Gladwell. You name it and it's great I forgot my point to have a helmet on now I gotta get a helmet Jesus bro welcome on using only his hair flat and that beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Don't have to wear a helmet in New York. I see cops that peel off. I go up to the left illegally yeah, but I'm getting around man. I get more materials worked out than ever before, and the city is so beautiful. Like I'm seeing like oh my God Times square at night, then you turn off like oh I'm on the avenue and the like? There's grand central and there's there's alphabet city? There's the West Village there's the arch in Washington Square Park, it's soap! pretty and I got the wind in my hair and it's fallen. I love this thing. Then I highly recommend getting a moped an and you go to ITALY. You got to Rome everybody's on a moped. Why aren't we doing it and I'm not
I don't want to do it. I feel like I got in early So are you the only one am open the only comic moped. Do you see other people on mopeds? He give each other and not just me in chinese delivery drivers to give him a weakening they don't know my my people and they don't care they're, just zipping, along with their noodles and moving on they don't care about me? Do they have door dash in New York. They must. I don't know what that is everywhere, but they might think it's simply because you call the restaurant, oh yeah, you get it off your app everybody. Does that shit. You cannot amazing Saturday, although hangover people getting there a delivery. What a genius idea 'cause everybody before was trying to figure out like God, why don't they deliver? I wish they deliver and now co said we'll do it? Mcdonald's delivers its cookie manning we'd delivers everything is delivery. How do you have to be weak and I feel like if you're going to torture, your body with Mcdonald's, the very least you? Should
get out of the house, and I agree. I agree that you learn it. That's the peak of laziness, Jamie saying, nope, get it delivered on time. You have enough time, that's time, yeah time, yeah right I'm like order, it can meet you there. Almost you gotta point. I like time spent half an hour in line to half an hour in traffic here, fucking yeah, it's and it's good point cookie to think about when our parents were kids, how much time they spent on just getting somewhere or just writing a letter and then going to mail, the buying the stamp and then going to the post. We can knock all that shit out with click one email so think about all the time you've accumulated just from not doing that. One thing, let alone bring an and flights? Yes, the call the travel agency. Now you can just book, I got an app. I got a delta app whoa, it's a man, that's that's! So many minutes counting over and over through your whole life. So we can do pods. We can do comedy, we can do martial or we can go to the gym before people did one thing you had Jack Lalanne.
Yeah. He was a workout guy. That was it now you're a fucking renaissance guy. Here, love with road. You got twelve hobbies and two kids you're living three kids, three sorrys shit. I thought one day you know, you're on the road as well. I mean we can do so much more because of the time you have the pretty amazing you get a a sure I like that sure, but went to my house tomorrow. One click Amazon, it's amazing! We, we got cover in a good time, except for all the complaining. It's funny how you complain more when things are going great, the better things, are more people complained. I think the problem is more people have access to something that can broad broadcast their complaint. That's what it sure sure not just that more people complain than ever before. I think you go to some what town in India I think they're. Even when they show the african kids with the distended belly, nothing we're going this sucks. I hate it here. There still just sad that I complaining indian typing. I think they're happier than we are. Ironically. I just think it's a broadcast issue
I don't, I think it's a social media thing, but I don't think it hurts that I think it is with you. That's where the signals coming from. Otherwise you would just be these whiny people avoid existed, we just didn't count of them is sure, but I think the more I'm so I I think we're arguing different point. I'm saying the more you have. The more you complain, yes, Blake who's going to play more the poor family out to dinner at the shitty restaurant or the rich cunt at the nice restaurant who goes on my my p is, is warm it's room. Temperature she's got more, so you got more. Plain about where's the other family just happy to be out at you know: sizzler yeah. That is definitely true. Yeah. We agree on that, but they they they access to complain. And now we can hear about it. Like Dave Chapelle said after his white supremacists gets that he did. You know the blind guy. He said he got bags and bags of letters about how this is wrong and racist and offensive, and you should be ashamed yourself, bags of letters, and you're like I wouldn't even know about that- is that you just didn't didn't come up now, would be just a million tweets. Free twit
well. You know it's like levels of outrage and ambition. To get your point across how much ambition do you have do? You were gonna write that letter get into a lot an envelope get the stamp for. And as a draft send it to him hope you read You wrote it all out by hand really most people aren't, but those are also the people. That probably, would says simply tweet Mark Norman, you piece of, though, yet on how you form a joke. I got. This is a. This is hate. This is violent. Racist and they'll. Just keep hitting you with, like thirty yeah right, that's the same level of ambition and drive that causes someone to write a letter to Dave Right fifteen years ago and today they'll just storm tweet. You yeah, like this tweet storm of ten different angry You know messages to you in a row and those tweets hurt. I don't think people realize they stay, thing, they just go you're evil and you don't even know me, that's crazy. What how cruel are you like, you're, a bad person? I know you think you're a hero but you're a douche you're, a you're
problem. You should be yelled at. I just tried to make a job when you're joke hurt people yeah, but I wasn't trying her people you're. Trying to hurt me is that worse I have no intent on hurting anyone. I just try to be funny right. I don't get that and like then we reward these two. What's like, what are we doing and that's all they're doing it for the just doing it for that weird bugs they have nothing going on. They just want to pat themselves on the back and also, if you hate my joke, go hate. It tell your friends. Why do you have to publicly hate it? That's when I think it gets fishy. That's when I go so you just want the recognition that you hate it that shows your superiority, you're not actually trying to save the world. You don't care about injustice. You just want to. Let other people know that you're on the right side quote unquote right side, discerning, a lot of that going on, there's also a lot people that just they just get offended and that's okay, and but they want you. No, they want you to know they're offended.
I feel like this is what social media is for, sometimes don't even at you. They just go. I'm pissed! If this guy and who's with me and all that and you're, like will talk to me, just how you feel work it out. I out, I didn't mean to hurt you. Why are you telling everyone else? Why does this have to be public that's where I will. Maybe they couldn't figure out a way to get ahold you privately I mean we anywhere. They believed that did some was just complaining. You privately you gonna go back and forth with this one person. I am one show I used to yeah and I I gave up his it's a volume issue right right. You can't do this to and the people that are more apt to complain or also more apt to be annoying, it's possible. I there's like the numbers go up, at least in terms of percentages. It's a tool, that's what it It is this new broadcast, tulare tools and bad and and people use. And it irresponsibly right, and you know I think, anybody using it to attack people? I mean unless there's someone that really fucking deserves it like they're doing something that's threatening to mock.
Proceeds of course human health and life yeah. So there doxing people that you know, and you want everybody to know- hey we've got a criminal among stuff right right other than that there's just too much hate. It's too it's it's a band with issue, for you is the human being. I said you're right, I was explain this to a friend we're talking about negative stuff. I was like, if you, if you spend, if you'll say your brain as one hundred points of whatever the it is that they that comprises your band with, if you think about something negative, that you avoid. You have ten points that are now dedicated to this stupid. It's bouncing around your head and not only have ninety points for all the things you love exact, maybe there's a few other things and then maybe you go onto it. Restart argument people now it's eighty percent of your fucking bandwidth- I I know, but if you avoid, then you start thinking at. Am I a bitch for not standing up for myself
or be. Am I out of those like? Should I be a little bit on the psych ice and came up with a few things in my and my out to lunch too much in my out out of touch both valid points? So then you get that to worry about now, but I I just think it's I don't know it's kind of gross like the like that's why I like Andrew Yang I'm voting for Yang all day because he got got in, I want to bring up the Well, SL thing things that's been done to death, but he emailed the guy or tweeted the guy and said hey. Let's, let's talk like, I don't like what you did but to teachable moment or whatever, and we can, let's see if you're a bad guy, and I think that's the whoa cus thing of all. Instead of just going fuck, this guy I'll kill him yeah. The woke us thing is for the asian guy to reach out and have a conversation yeah and he seems to go very sincere guy. I've had him on the podcast, and I talked to him. Andrew gang is a big, very intelligent, guy and um, but you know people would be sick
suspicious like. Is he doing that to get attention? And you know there's always going to be that? Well, I'm. What do you call it naive or your optimistic. I'm just looking at that. I'm not saying that I would think he was, but I did hear something not find find true, don't ruin. My entry Yang say that he, the solution like someone, one of the things to stop getting people to eat meat is to to tax. It's so high, make it so expensive. They don't want, don't want it. I just. I can't believe that he really said that it was one of those things in a in a twitter tweet and I I looked at it on somebody else is, I just add a nowhere saw it. I was like. I don't want to look into this. Oh no! Let me later, no listen you're the shit on talking that guy and I guess he's right about universal basic income. I think we're going to run into a time where so many jobs were moved so quickly that you know people are going to be in a bad place, and I think that if there was something that you know could give them,
enough money for food and shelter and necessities, so you could tide them over while they're looking for employment or try to change their life. I think I'd be good for everybody yeah here here. I hear the arguments against it too, though, I'm not, you know some people say it. It kills. People motivation right. There is that they don't have purpose, they don't mean just getting free money. I suspect this live. I can't watch the video that says. Is this going in the eggs pitched and says: government needs to target cattle modify Americans diet to eat, No, that's weird! I don't tell me what to eat here's the thing you can't say that, because there's people that would I mean he's going to experience this there's a whole group online called defending beef that talks about ranchers and the way people look at cattle industry, and that a lot of it has been sort of distorted and one cow feeds a lot of can people sharing a lot of fucking people from one cow and it's one death
know, if people consider like a cow to be a better life than a mouse yeah, use the whole buffalo. If the cow is is supposed to have a more important life in a mouse, but if you're buying Grey I can guarantee you that there is places that have died in the procuring of that grain. Run that combine over those fields. All kinds of shit gets fucking chopped up in them. A lot of things die and get displaced, pesticides kill them when you see buzzards flying over fields after they cut the crops down this causes there's dead animals all in there. Yeah yeah a lot of you. You know. That's just that's a fact, and if this idea that the way to stop people from killing is to make it to try to alter the american diet, get him to stop eating meat like it's. It's not sustainable. To look at it. This way
we're looking at a dishonest way. He doesn't know all the facts. It doesn't know all the facts in terms of like nutrition value, this way more nutrition value in steak, specially Grass FED Steak sure then almost especially for the way body digest proteins and enzymes like this idea that a plant based diet is you need to go by and then we all need to move on to that. That is not right for everybody now exists not in neither is a meeting died. That's not right for everybody that some people are better off with just fish. Some people are better off, doesn't people are vegetarians. They're, fine, hello, yeah, but for him to say that for the whole country you're wrong, yeah, that's cookie, it is people are but they're, they're, ranchers, Devon cattle ranches for ever people buy their meat. They they know what's happening, they it's not like they're confused, they don't. They know the cow is going to die and then they're going to eat it and every he agrees that this is acceptable, and this is a part of being a human, and this is the cycle of life, yeah. Now you don't have to agree with that. But for you to say,
going to change the entire american diet. Well, that's nonsense. You ain't changing shit now now you're not changing shit. I don't know if that's exactly how he said it, I don't think reading it. I can't hear what he said, but I don't get roped into proper panda yeah, that's scary, and I thought he was against propaganda. That's why I like he's like a computer, you know, but I think you saying about the environment. This is a big one. This is really big There was talk about the cattle industry and it's affecting the environment. Harding there's a there's. A button chart on show that Sean Baker's page Dr Sean Baker, the guy, was the carnivore advocate but it's a it's a stick to. It shows like in a pie, chart how much of the methane that's produced and how much the affect the environment is because of the ranching cattle industry. This time, any little sliver aria. Little sliver, you know they act like it's put in a whole knows only too that's fucking pollution,
and when you should it's a factory lays it out trucks and cars about the ozone layer thing for that and don't know if this is right now the scientist that it's getting smaller for the first ten years ago, like pro from how far it's come, Forza healing it, a smaller, is good. I just don't like a guy who thinks he's going to fix the diet of everywhere you might, if have you already did debates with people who are pro carnivore or pro omnivorous diet, people that have changed their health because started, eating organ meats and they I mean there's a guy named. Chris Kresser I've had him on my show a couple of times and he's. He explains like what goes wrong with a vegetable. Based diet with a vegan diet with some people. Some people have these nutritional deficiencies and it leads itself to chronic illness, and he had happened with him, and he explains in doesn't mean that you can't live on a vegetable diet. The problem is people get cultish with this shit and they jump on. You know
They want you to think only the way they do and they have virtue in their their way of showing the problem yeah. This is the vegans want you to think They are doing right and they're causing no harm unless you're growing your own fucking vegetables and your own little organic backyard, you definitely causing some harm. Are you causing less animal harmful? That's debatable! What about insects! You count insects, 'cause, they're, getting smashed and crushed if you're getting do large scale. Grain operations yeah yeah. Well, we do it all day long, but it could you imagine what it took me to where you would have like meat speakeasies and where we have to like hide meet the demands. Certain schools really yeah they're, doing cool schools, they're, giving kids meatless meals, fucking terrible for them for developing kids. We cannot do any mood was never at all, not she's all dog right, yeah yeah, but the new need some animal protein. Most kids do when they're growing up I mean this is one of the reasons why vegans have been arrested for Having malnourished baby is that right, yeah, you never heard of that. Now I don't really common wow
vegans get arrested for having malnourished babies. It's been in the news many times many different versions of its terrifying you're, not getting enough nutrients. I grew up on shellfish and I've noticed a lot of my New York. Friends can't eat shellfish yeah, it's real common common coming, but it's so good. I do not have an shrimp, I know that's cookie. I would have to kill myself. We found on a fear factor that if your lawyer dish allergic to shellfish, you are you're also allergic to roaches. What can I grew up with both of those the hang out, not eating the road, but we had a shitty house. We have a an episode of fear factor. We serve these people. Madagascar, hissing, cockroaches and throat started closing up just seeing yes, no just being create ten thousand eight hundred and ten. They have to call the emt and I think they shoot you with it. Think wow yeah we have did you have roaches in your house as a yeah me, they would fly. Remember that I remember and in new orleans- and I believe this thing yeah- that we grew up. Yeah grew up in New Orleans. I grew up in the heart of New Orleans for May.
In my neighborhood theo. I was like more sticks side of it, but I was I was in the city and it was terrifying. It was a rough and tumble city. When I was there yeah my dad get a wild hair possess and bought a match, a dilapidated mansion in a poor black neighborhood, and you know no running water for a while. He turned the back half into a bed and breakfast 'cause. We ran out of money. It was a. It was a a, we got, robbed what time we were the white family in the neighborhood, everybody thought we had money 'cause of our big house, so we got robbed constantly. I walked in on a couple robberies as a kid Did my alarm go off at like two? In the is like an eight year old. Let's do you just know. There's a guy in your living room scrap around it was, but now that the US wants to score early, because that really with me for sure my bike got stolen. All the time from under me, I had a transvestite nanny will grown up, name Enos.
I know this sounds crazy, but ah they don't use. That word anymore. Was that transvestite? Well, he would he wasn't trans. He just had women's clothing on right, MRS Doubtfire right, but like they don't what was last time you saw someone even refer to that way. What is a drag queen? I don't know what you would call it now I mean if they give your transit trans gender, you non binary. What are you he was a do? It was a big black dude right. He looked like Ving Rhames, but he would wear high heels in a wig yeah and he would sweep the house. So was he trans? How would you say Dick? Can you say trans and then it has all inclusive. Transvestite yes, I guess why not right yeah, but that's a big umbrella. I think they've abandoned transvestite. It has a meaning, it's the clothing in Dallas, but I don't know what is it? Is it outlook the
Transvestism comes up on Wikipedia, and I love that I get is changed three letters or else you're going to jail resume control these this land will control. It's certainly a big part of it. Compliance is a big part of what's going on people get comply. Want you to comply, call it compassion, cross dresser, whatever ever the yeah with the goal of size, are getting lost in the weeds. So you had so I had a transgender transvestite nanny and he taught me everything like he taught me how to fight and put the seat up and like go on a date with a girl and how to do this with the car. Yet 'cause my parents were always working 'cause. The house was so big. They had to afford it. That's so ridiculous! who crazy man we had. We had roaches and mice, and we remember, we didn't have lights in the house. We had those like mechanic, lamps in your room, that's how you really yeah like had a light in your room. It weird way to grow up, but then the back half was serene. It was like a bed and breakfast and we travel musicians and like asian asian businessmen. Coming in, I tried to
this is a show. Everybody like this is too dark. Nobody would dig it, but the racial tension was insane and how many times you guys think I mean you get robbed real good like six times a year, oh yeah yeah and you guys stayed yeah how about this? So Enis was like my male role- model You know this big black guy in a wig and what time I was riding home, summer camp- and you know these three street toughs- you know we're put you know coming up next three of them, like hey Bank. Let us try your bike. And I was like damn good. You know I knew what they wanted and I was like I'm good. No thank you and they're like come on they're doing their of their back tire or their front tire against my back. You know that move starting to skid me out a little bit, so I go all right all right and these kids are seventeen. I'm probably like thirteen and they're like uh. Let me just try it so I remember I kept my hand on the handle and he got on and he's like he just brushed my hand away and just went check you and rode off. I was like God, so I ran home cry,
and I got there and it's like what happened. I'm like a couple of kids took my bike and it was like the fourth time so he's like fuck that get in the Van and like I good. You know, I'm so defeated, you know. So it's so emasculating. You feel like a bitch so look, I'm good he's a get in the van. We had a big van and we were driving around the neighborhood. Looking for my bike, I don't want to see These guys again, I just want to let it go and he's like we're going to find, bye, we're driving around and we go some backstreet and we see these kids on a stoop like taking it apart. Because you got a camouflage a little. So I'm and he's like is that you're black, like it, I'm sludge down and shotgun like yeah, my bike, let's get out of here, fuck it aboard and he goes up to these guys, these walks to these guys and he's wearing high heels a wig and like a the neck and he looks weird it's the 90s and he goes up to these guys. Program, and they all lose it 'cause. I look at this fucking fag they're, all going crazy and they're flipping out and call him names and stuff, and this guy was stone cold and it goes that's not your bike.
And I go what you you gonna do about it and is like five kids with tools. You know, and he goes to take it back and they were like I don't think you are whatever and I'm every put his hand on the middle bar of the bike, just to kind of see what happened looked up in the I yanked it and you said: that's what I thought through the Take over shoulder, walked to the van slid the door open through it. In close the door we drove home unbelievable, I mean talk about a thirteen year old like. That's like that's what a man is, that was that changed my life wow unbelievable. I never wrote it again mind what if they beat him to death with wrenches. Well, then I will stuck in the van crying. I would learn to drive real, quick. But no I think the keys yeah. I think it was running. But I I I I just because you know when your kid and you see these bully type you're just like I could never beat him yeah and then it to see someone beat him was soul. It was mind boggling, I I I loved him ever since
I mean I loved him before, but you still in touch with him. Now he died. He got killed in a sexual encounter while he was hooking up with a guy and the the dawn came out and the guy flipped and killed them yeah. He was like a bird less dancer by night. He got he got in got into new. Orleans is a one the devil of a lady but yeah he he was a good egg and I needed him growing up. As my I had no parents around, you know. My parents are weird I don't know if you noticed, but I can't make eye contact. I've been doing a pretty good but yeah. I don't. I don't know how to connect, but Serena stuff is great. He was a cool dude. You've always had that with your parents. Did they do that? with you as well. They don't connect with yeah they're, like military, tough uh. You know they provided and all that, but I think that's why I like comedy 'cause. You know the on laughs and you go hey. We're feeling this there's something happening here right and that that's I like the truth of comedy, could you go?
Ok, I'm not crazy. Were old, agreeance, yeah 'cause, the laugh is kind of an agreeance in a weird way: right, yeah. Exactly that's why the involuntary involuntary Nahs, involuntary nisava laugh is like interesting because you like it couldn't help it. Fuck that word up so much. I forgot what the real version is: involuntary Invol Terry in is, as it is, that a word involuntary miss, probably not involuntary ability, yeah involuntary involuntary. I think we just been voluntary. I guess the involuntary response, yeah yeah, ok, yeah! The involuntary response is so you can help that. That's Is that a word voluntariness wow, that's public school folks. Look at that! only tearing this. That I love that. I don't think I've ever heard that before have you ever heard of before they look at it there
hey, go, say we're learning. Lo love of language doesn't even look right. If someone sent me that attacks, I feel like you were both pieces. Shit have her. Boats is not bad either. They're tryingto, that's pretty good ball, Taryn Terrell E ness yeah wow. I know that's, acting or done without ones, will an involuntary participant in what turned out to be an argument there. You go interesting. Look at that! We're learning we are! can learning here here. You've been in once before I loved it. There are a couple of years ago was the last time I was there. I think, maybe two years ago, not the best crowds, if I'm being honest, 'cause comedy is not our thing. We like strippers and booze and parties- and you know, broth and all that but Mardi GRAS jazz It is not ours, it was fun. I I enjoyed it. I had a good time
yeah. I was there once I did a house of blues there and then, after my show, there was a burlesque show and I stuck around to watch the burlesque show and I just didn't quite get it yeah burlesque, less sucks. It seemed like, let's be honest, yeah it's like just either strip or become a real dancer. It was you're taking something off, but it's not all the way. So the whole thing is a tease, what's also like. What is why you dance that that way, what this Is it sexy? Is it not sexy like a yeah which also my own head, I'm like. Why do I give a fuck people like It still meant it. It feels like it. This is all for you. This should be an even even thing here. I should be entertained right, but also some people must enjoy it. They have burlesque show. So why do I give a if other people enjoy? What I think is dumb? No, I don't care, they enjoy it. I just I do not get mad at but they can do whatever the leg bad. His I just upset at myself for wanting.
You know why why people, when there's certain thing people like that. I don't like. I want to know why. I guess I have that too. I'm like what do you see in that comics who really that good or that gal yeah yeah, when when you, if you have to follow someone, that's terror Herbal and the audiences laugh. Do you like you, have disdain for them completely laughed at that? Yes, that nonsense. I know and and movies too I mean, but we have, but then we all have our guilty pleasure bullshit to so we all? We all have our thing we like, so you got to be sympathetic, yeah man, it's less time worrying about what other people like yeah live your life. So I think there's a lot of people just looking for problems. For sure, dude food, the not that big. I just want you seen the documentary they shall know, old, you want to fake beer sure this is a zero all right take a Heineken. No, I don't have any alcohol in it, but we're drinking alcohol you ever that white claw by the way, yes
Who that stuff's exciting exciting it's exciting when a new thing is invented, remember when red Bull was new, exciting, now uber and a white cloth, I love white clock. What exactly is in it said a lot of people for about Seema ever dies. Liked Zima, my want would drink. Zima people get mad at me It's it's not manly enough like where a fannypack too, I don't think I like Xena, tells or what yeah and it's less filling. What is it like? Why is it supposed to be manly to drink? Something? Taste like shit like what is that? Well, how did uh like wine coolers go forgot? in the nine one. That's all yeah, but if you were a guy, you were in a wine coolers. You cried a lot. This is James Taylor. Yeah! You want to do picnics you, you like meticulously, make a picnic and I'll call the right, yeah yeah, but barely you fairly, that and you're in the wine coolers the girls going to leave you it's true and that's what the
Think about it. We should all have emotions, but yet there's a little tinge in your veg. When I pop a wine cooler, that's not good, and it's drying up. There's wanted the have level of emotions, yeah. Well, that's to know you care exactly that's. What makes this interesting is we're different. We would like to go pretend we were the same, but if we're the same, how come men suck? now when the shit hits the fan you're going to want us around a red arrangement, ones: okay, one phone line, cool, fistic, ated wine taste like shit, I hate wine. I mean can't drink wine. The way you could drink like seven up You know is setting up, you could just throw back at glasses. Stepping up you get to wine, I mean you could for sure that there's actually a couple square I'm crazy chardonnay drink, a bottle of sure our, not one. That's girls, one okay, okay, but red wine like no. Drinks, a glass of red wine like a seven up, a mean
and maybe like a wino like ice tea, you drink an ice tea. You drink the ice. T you never drink wine, like that. It makes you steer the ship it you enjoy it. I like it that way. I enjoy one. I don't know, but it doesn't taste good in terms of like it's. A different kind of taste like I enjoy the taste makes my tongue thick You know what I mean. I hate that it's like a brick, a wooding at the purple lips the red teeth, and I understand I feel you. I know what you're saying but see this movie. It's going to change I saw it on the plane. I I was blowing my mind, on the plane here there it is. I know we're getting into like dude shit here and it's not like it is bit Peter Jackson did it? It's so well done. It's on believe the footage they have of world war. One is on, but I'm not like a war buff for anything. It's unbelievable these
we went through and how they joked through it and they had smiles and how they had to ship them selves and they got gangrene and it couldn't clip their toenails, but the camaraderie and the fact that they wanted to go to war. Goals there like. I got nothing going on in the factories close. I'm going to war it and they all died. Like you know, eighty percent of them died, but the ones that came back there like I saw my best friend next week. They all talk to the old. People. You never hear this shit. It's amazing that footage. They have unbelievable this them practicing. This is nothing but when they get into the shit they show it. They got footage of the people's head blowing off and just the fear in their eyes and like these are nineteen year old kids, smoking cigar their fingers are shaken and you're like Barely I'm nervous to make a phone call. I don't check my voice mail. Look at their team. The british first of all they're deep, set up backed up look good, okay, their fucking teeth, like these guys, don't have a toothpaste there. Look at that look at the teeth. These are kids that living out in the land. Look at their fucking
They got one uniform for four years, one uniform wow boots were hell. I mean the cigarettes were currency, it was crazy. Your rifle was your best friend I mean it makes you realize how weak you are and how tough they were and look that's for mustard gas. Now they gotta walk, blind guys around, like everything was a thing that they had to dig trenches every day was brutal. Look at that on the rats, my God, the rats, wow yeah crazy. Then the stench of the dead horses, they said was indescribable. I mean it's, frozen movie. I know it's an hour and change fuck. This is their day off. They sit on their day off. They didn't know what to do they. Just like we sure shot at for four years and bombed at and now we're sitting here, and they said it was just silence the whole day. They didn't know what to talk about or look, that's them playing they're trying to make the most of it, and the guy said it was weird how much comedy came up because you needed it. You were so miserable.
Ah dude got to see it. This should be. This should be required. Viewing I just shot his own helmet off on accident. Now that they got a beer, I mean it's crazy, the gas man. I don't know who that kit is that's them. Burying I mean it's on, believe the footage. I can't believe they pull this. What is the other while I'm really talking it up and I'm not a war guy? But it's so well done. It should be required viewing in every school. Well, that's about. As far back as we can Raven film, maybe with it is. It was early films like the the late eighteen. Hundreds right was at the earliest film yeah and as far as like historical events like war, that's probably as far back as we can go to camp a lot of sound. They have. Then write a little bit, not much, not much all narration. If you think about historical events that were documented that come how far back do they go before World war, one it's about yeah, that's one thousand, nine hundred and fourteen. So probably nothing. Maybe some reels like that.
Any sin, a scope thing: it's a window in time you know yeah, they had nothing going on and the weird thing is they say when they came back. Nobody gave a there like I just saw this and you're like yeah yeah, yeah yeah, we're doing this now and he's like. I just gave my life for you and that's on the rise again. What you gonna do. That's weird. They had a different appreciation for life and you are the guys that do wind up going to war. One of things that GINO Sebastian younger is the journalist who wrote books on war and he wrote a book called tribes of really interesting book. The talked a lot about this sort of thing that happens with these guys, like the hurt locker. Normally I wanted to go back, yeah, like the the sense of camaraderie and of being alive and the excitement of life lives like this heightened state like that. So many of them describe wartime this horrific time as
Some of the most memorable moments. Yes, life, the happiest moments of life for the most attached to their brothers and their their comrades right. It did it. It boils everything down to the basics of survival, and I think we've got a loss that now we have so much. You know we gotta dine and dash or whatever the hell you said, diner dash whatever, and you know the big dollars going right to you. Yeah I, like you don't have to this- is the survival with cushioned it so much that we're sitting up here on eight blankets, eight mattresses were used. You just you're on the floor. Yeah the heightened experience of knowing that life is fleeting and seeing people die around. You mean this. I had a friend of mine who, ah from Israel and he's he was always like, laugh in and dance in the plan. Bongo drums show like this, and that's why I called is this like where you're from in Israel? Is it like this? He goes yes, everybody park to park. I go I go. Because it tomorrow you could be dead tomorrow. We did everybody Party Party,
the more you have, the more you complain. These guys are ok, we could die at any moment. We get bombed. Let's live baby gives people like a feeling of, like all the systems are firing I think one of things about people, sedentary lifestyles and not no goals and no activity in their life is like your body. Just starts to fall apart doesn't want to live. That just doesn't want it and then it starts feeling back yeah. All the time just feel shitty. Yes, it's like a dog almost not to compare us to dog, but if you don't give the you know, the dog wants to hear what to do a little bit. You know you gotta, give it a little bit of order. Also just like biting his own tail. They need activity Yes, they have a lot of energy. Tell him! We do two, oh yeah, oh yeah, but trying to take energy away like everything is built like the internet and just sit there all day. It's not good for you don't need to go outside yeah, that's not good for people. It's not good for people also did to be in these weird virtual environments all day long. We talking to people without actually talking to be completely. I mean this is why the is so I'm on.
I think I got the wind in my hair. I get off the mope Ed, I'm on stage like whoa, I'm alive baby. You know I got that kiss of wind and I'm on stage talking to random strangers. That's gonna hand, you, a lot of cash and young back on the moped bed. You go bang your girlfriend who have a beer living baby living queef, yeah yeah. I love it yeah, it's um, those. Real experiences. That is one of the reasons why people still love comedy. Yes, you can kill it. It's a live, Riel experience where the cut where the entertainment, where cockroaches of the entertainment world you know you can't bomb us we'll, keep coming back, because you need the truth. You need action movies and you need comedy those two
style words yeah John Wick is going strong. Oh my god yeah, it's the most murderous movie of all time. In the time where everybody wants to get rid of guns. This guy kills everybody hey exact number one movie and everybody loves him. Everybody loves Kanto region seems like probably the nicest guy that's ever existed. I know he seems like a cool dude and ah he's got. What is it? He's got a motorcycle collection yeah. He bull he's. Ah yeah, it's aficionado, that's the only the bumming out about John with three there's, no muscle cars and you have no muscle cars. I see part of the problem I see your your fame and what not and I the cars or what really makes me. I don't care I don't need money or fame. I don't care about any of that. I don't even want to be famous I'd rather have an antonym, Inusannon, Emanus, anonymous, sorry, anonymous, demo, anonymous life with coffee in the booze and the Non alcoholic I don't I don't want to be there. I was talking to our he's like I want to go to a music fest lay in the grass and not have somebody go. Can I get a photo- and I said yes, I'm with yeah so
you're, all your all, your huge you're famous man that scares me, but when you pulled up, I don't tell you this. I was using a little. I was walking to the comedy store to do some bullshit in the belly room work on my uber bit and you pulled up in that Fucking Chevy Corvette the. Silver one, the stingray that right. Oh my god, I jizz in my twat leaked it was so hot and then you pulled in park that was like now. That's what I want I want. Cool car. That's why I want the moped. Do it kind of satiated that card thing, but I want to sixty nine Porsche nine, eleven, irish, green TAN, interior. Ah, sixty nine, you want the long hood yeah I like the old stuff. It looks better to me too yeah hashtag, yeah, they'll. Take those and they'll put like really good mode. Some. Now too, that's the singer. Shit yeah, the singer, but also a bunch of companies that do it in a way.
You could drive it everywhere. The singer is your deal with a half a million dollar car yeah yeah yeah, the coolest looking car to me. I love the car. It's it's it's cute, but also has got balls and also sexy. It's got everything to me. This is, bunch of guys who take those cars in the hot rod amount and the cake. I don't need all that nine hundred and ninety three engine and they put it in there, so it has more power yeah I just want. I just wanted to be a driver. You know I want to go back and forth daily with it. Can they do that can be just short, yeah, actually probably be more reliable than these old engines right. I would imagine yeah. Even if you, if get in a car with an old engine, less, it's all been completely refurbished. You deal with one hundred. Fifty thousand one hundred thousand money? Who knows I'm going to, of course, but I grew up when I was a kid. I bought a seventy one. Cutlass convertible supreme and it was the coolest car ever, but it would break down. You know once a month and I'd be I'd, be at a bar like shit and it was so embarrassing. I have to like push it around the block, so I could start it.
And try to like play with it, because you want to start outside the bar. Your friends would laugh at you yeah, so I would have to like tinker with it and it was fucking brutal and I always thought if I would ever get rich and buy a nice car and just put a good engine in it is these things they they're so fickle yeah. What's like That's your dream! Car is a sixty nine Porsche well right now because I'm not very financially stable. So that's that's. Why dealing, but I would be able to go on the ground in Manhattan, yeah, small marketplaces, God, my dream. Do you know how to drive on those fuckers? Could you teach me? Stick you don't know how to drive a stick. I drove stick like you, don't want to learn Porsche, obviously, maybe wanna Rental car yeah, just tear that thing you can still get rental cars with a stick shift. Yeah, it's not hard to learn. You learn five minutes. No! Yes! I did it once or twice I don't know it's you know. Listen, I need you. I can teach you in ten, let's film, that yeah, that could be a fun video. You don't want to do one that's hard, but you know
Porsche like especially an old one, is also the hinge on the floor at the different set up yeah like the ones that most of them are coming like the way. Porsches are it's like on a hinge. It's Ritz. It feels different. All the the things are there connected at the bottom and connected and dropping down, I got a modern car. Everything drop downright push it. You have to learn that that feels a little bit different, and then you know it's like that. Those those cars a trick are they yeah yeah yeah yeah, the you? You have to learn how to drive what does of something called lives throttle over steer. So if you're, taking a turn with the an old nine eleven in on the turn you let off the gas gas and kick out one yeah yeah. It's called lift throttle over steer and it's because there is there a rear engine. Car right, they're, not a mid engined car. They were rear engine cars where the engine is actually behind the tires yeah. So there's something that happens as you go around a corner. When you let off the gas to just want to spend yeah, Jeez and they didn't have much grip either they those ones. The problem with
those ones versus the hot rod ones. They have little skinny ass fucking tires because that's all anybody had back then those tires suck dick or not good. You want fat grin, you know you want a toy or a Michelin or- and you know, killer our compound tire right. So you could drive around corners and get some real fucking traction. Alright 'cause that thing you have to learn how to drive That thing it's not on a regular car. I thought they were. The best drivers everything there was like a portion of the new ones. Sure if you got a new one yeah, they drive amazing and those things they're interesting. What they are is like really mechanical like I have ah an old one out there yeah, but it is a ninety. Three r S. America night is really lights, a roll cage and know where she needing no radio, no, nothing just log on it's all just engine and fun a boy, but that car is tricky. Yeah there's no traction control. You know you like you got the first time I drove around the corner,
I said. Let me see what it's like to have: let off the gas and mid corner, it's a yellow, really yeah! So you kind of a drive. No, no! I had tightened up a company called shark works. Did a bunch of things too and tighten up the suspension and we change the tires got a group here, the fatter tire and it's just they're. Just the thing about those cars is so thrilling specially a car that doesn't have a automatic power steering and it has manual transmission. So it's all you! You feel every fucking bump of the road like yeah you're attached, the there's no numbness in the steering right it's alive and it's the rear engine. So the front end is kind of light. Yeah, you can move it around pretty good, even though it doesn't have power steering. Then you hear the gears and salt air cooled so some gears and it's easy sound, an engine. Anyone else hard. They make me hard yeah, that's the that's the most visceral
Thrilling Carter dry. It's not nearly as fast as, like my tassel, the tassel berries, all of them. I know what it is as nodes soul feel it feels like to me. It feels so election. I got nothing it's a lecture, but it doesn't feel like a machine. It feels like it's like a vacuum cleaner, some in the german one, of course not yeah. That's the thing! I've never been. What I was we got one out of let's drive mine, come on I witness when you drive it, it makes you feel like. Oh okay, other cars are just stupid other you're, stupid idea. Really, oh my god. It doesn't make any sense because there No gears right doesn't go for a second or it doesn't do that. It just goes when it goes. It doesn't faster than anything. You've ever been in your life doesn't like roller coaster fast. This is how fast it is. They just did and uh
ring time. The Nurburgring is this famous track in Germany yeah. This is a very, very famous track where times of cars speeding around the Nurburgring has always been like the benchmark. Okay, like that, my love for minute mile to big deal like I have a Gt3 rs, which is really essentially a race car for the street, and that supposedly goes around the Nurburgring. I think somewhere in the neighborhood of seven minutes and forty something seconds this guy new test, just that. It's seven minutes and twenty seconds, oh wow, so that's twenty! plus seconds faster than a Porsche race. Car that's insane because it doesn't have to shift, doesn't have to shift and it has this crazy power, the power and the acceleration is that, like anything, I've ever experienced in my life labs had all kinds of muscle cars. I've got all kinds of different things. Things like you know. I've had big cars and small cars thing is a totally different animal
yeah, totally different animal. This is all news to me. I thought it Tesla went bankrupt, it's fucking nuts you're doing these shows to yeah I'll, bring it and then what was will drive it at all doctor backwards. For me, I don't know you need to experience all right. I feel like a salesman yeah. Apparently it's capable of doing that seven oh here, we know it did it now. What you mean it says it's pot celebrity did a seven twenty four and four they did right now broke broke down when during the race. What It's not a here in the time trial look well, they definitely compl one. The complete Porsche passed on with the racing watch, a video of a Porsche passing a broke down tests on the Nurburgring of it is that this is bad today, is Tesla like that they're doing these experiments. This is, for long in the weed. Smoking not makes sense. You
If you were going around a track on a car that has a it's all batteries and heats up. They they had real concerns about that is this? Is there to it says it can't achieve it at the odyssey of it? Well, how do we know the candidate didn't data from our track take indicates, but I thought that a second one with some improvements, seven hundred and five may be possible, but they definitely did seven hundred and twenty three or something like that which still insanely impressive yeah pull up grain, laps, I've tested seven, twenty three, but no there's more than one task. This was the second day they started doing it a couple of days ago. What they're trying to do is be porsches. Electrical Porsche has. Badass new electric car, they just came out that take on yeah, let it one test. I completed that lap, a very unofficial time of seven hundred and twenty three, how to say very unofficial. It says very unofficial. Does that mean so, like they probably left it to Tesla to measure it may be right. That's probably it means
not a judge. Do you know anything about Nurburgring just from playing video games? This is one of the best in the video game tracks it's a dope track in the video game. Do they make you do they have an official that gives you like the ready set, go like how many that would be like in a video game, Gran, Turismo or like yeah, something that makes sense like you would have to have an official. You couldn't trust. You know like look, companies, lie about how much their gas guzzlers cars red didn't didn't happen. Volkswagen they lied about the gas mileage again. Try that was it. A missions are gas mileage, I think, was a missions. Yes right, so companies will so definitely live up their acceleration informally. Timed inform three times on the circuit. At seven hundred and twenty three stop it was timing but made by a correspond of the german publication, Automotor and sport? Okay, so they he's had journalist that was doing it. The tests we did have the oven image of using race compound tires. It doesn't
for the almost twenty second advantage over the Porsche TAI can can publicized lap times seven forty two yeah Never burger. I've got away even the Portia one, that seven hundred and forty two that is fucking insanely fast for a four door car. It's insanely crazy, so there they're all insanely fast and if you could find the difference between the Tesla in the Portia in daily driving. I think, an because you're, probably driving way too fast. You know like if you, if you could tell the difference with seven twenty three, which is insane yes, seven, forty, seven red Sox it broke down, though well what I think those things over. He I'd that might think you're not supposed to drive like that. I think you're supposed to drive a like. You would drive a regular car, still pretty cool that it did it now. It's it's pretty incredible, and this is like they're the route. The brat reality of electric cars is that we are basically in like sort of a fetal stage
or you know we're in like I did a grammar school stay, yeah, there's gonna, be a college athlete and olympic stage we got a ways to go. Yeah I dared they're really just and going with the ship. If they made some breakthroughs with with batteries like the amount of juice you can get out of a battery yeah they would do is that they did that and have them like thousands of miles of range instead of like the really good. And one today I think, is like three hundred and fifteen, I think, is the most. You can get three hundred and fifteen miles. Ok, but that's if you don't drive like a dick right right. Well, let me sorry. I just recently heard through something I was looking up. Someone else mentioned on the podcast Saturday, the sudden about solid state batteries being worked on right now. Have you ever heard anything about that? It sounds like it would be useful for this, and I don't even understand What does that mean? I don't know it's like how solid state hard drives are completely different from hard drive may be the same kind of thing. That's where I'd really don't understand. I was looking it up and I felt like I felt the simulation.
The guys name is good enough. Is the scientists literally Goodenough is ninety seven years old and he's done a bunch of nightmare. I mean how much think about how much you need batteries and how little do you know about batteries? I don't know jack shit about batteries come on. Who does I have? so I can hear the new hire at a new Iphone got a good battery right was going to give me more time. Looking after plug, this one sloppy Joe say you should never buy your dream car because then it you got nowhere to go from there. That's nonsense, you think. So most people are assholes, there could be some too and it's like a Dalai Lama bullshit. Alright, you want to have something drive for you got another destroy you just enjoy it. You know to do that. I I I strive to write better jokes trying to do better sets, but that's not it's never ending yeah beauty. It's never going to end yeah. The car thing is: this cars are just cool, they don't stop,
Did I park that Corvette I get out and look at it go fuck. Look at this thing, yeah! That's what I do do when you pull up the light with sunset. Blvd lights were glimmering off. But it was pretty juicy. The one thousand nine hundred and sixty five corvette like that shape yeah still just nailed it. But that's again, that's no committee! That's just some guy designing. I feel like everything now is so cornered and curved and boring well, they have to be aerodynamic and also we rely on them to get these good lap times. I don't even think they released the Corvettes lap time on the Nurburgring. I don't think they released release an official lap time for the z, Z, fifty one of the z six or even the one. I don't think the Big League Corvette they ever release the lap time? That's a big track like for Look if you want to compete with Porsche or you know, there's uh,
major sports car brands. Brands company has to release a lap time at the Nurburgring, or at least somewhat Laguna sake. You have to have that. Way. The one in uh there's one in Atlanta. This really good too uh, huh Rd America doing it, but they didn't release the time. I guess yeah. Well then, it must not have been good. I mean it's real, simple yeah, you know the speed is cool, but the card looks silly to me. Doesn't yeah. This is like a. I don't know. It's like the old joke to me really yeah. I mean it's I to me. This is like too much as this is retarded. You know it's does it look like if you seen it like a pull up There's no style! You don't think that looks good this is like gaudy and over the top. I don't know it's to me. This is not sexy. I like subtle, okay, so you like old classic. Yes, yes, some art to it. This just looks like
when I was driving a nineteen. Seventy should value life, love that love that love, that it's seventy Chevelle White with a black stripe school day and they are car. It's a fun time that that's when I, when I bought that car is as a teen a seventy one cutlass. It looks so good, but they need the rear it hits you like. This is fucked up the alternator sucks and then the starter breaks and then the rust and all that, like, I didn't think about all that is Kid area is right there a man look at the fucking car. If you have the money, you can just keep that car up yeah. Well, that's the classic one! The black with white stripes? That is like when I was a kid one of the these in my neighborhood, his friend had a black with White Stripes Chevelle and he gave me a ride, really remember thinking about being in this guise, Carla, rocket anybody own this. How do you sleep knowing that you have a one thousand nine hundred and seventy Chevelle in your garage? How do you sleep
just get up in the middle night touch it not sure of the medulla that car right there with the fucking, the black with the White Stripes when he slammed into that motorcycle Ryder used it's all around the town. That's an incredible car! Remember having a car when you work at Citibank that ruins that whole fucking, yeah. I didn't even notice. Am an animal, the thing about when you have a car. The a kid is such a big deal. You cleaned it. Remember you like cleaning and it was like fun. You know you got in there and you change the oil and you fucked with the tires and you rotated them. It was you loved it. It was like a thing you loved. You know what I would fuck me up, though I bought an Audi fox. I had a neighbor that had like it was in one thousand nine hundred and seventy two or something like that Audi Fox. It was pre cheap. I don't know it was a weird little tiny car that was manual
his mission yeah. That was exactly like cute. I had a tan one. I had one that was basically the color looks like Brad Williams, to cut right to the left of that picture, right below that one yeah that color that's. Basically the color that I had the brain, how much it was like a tan. It wasn't that that gross looking yeah yeah like a TAN Audi Fox but but four door. I think it was a. Two door. Do they make two door you as a true? That's it that's it right. There that's kind of got a style to it. It's going to subtle lines on it, What I learned is that little cars hand also much better yeah. I drove that little car around. I was like, oh, that these other cars that I'm driving these muscle cars are pigs, hey right, you could just really jerk that thing around some turns wells. A front wheel, drive car too, if I remember correctly, I'm pretty sure those front engin prompt front engine front, wheel, drive and it like pulled around yeah
like pulling the car instead of pushing the car right right and I was like oh, this is a smarter way to do it. You know it's a version of the carts, a lot of that that I love it, but it would be. My number two is the Bmw, two thousand and two zero yeah like a seventy one. I think that's a sexy cart. Will you know where it is tea? I have you seen that Bronco that I have that icon Bronco, that is so slick like the Broncos like the OJ. Or you know it's an old bar old Bronco Barack Obama point is it's from put that picture back up, there's a company. This company icon is going to take one of those and they're going to put a two thousand and eighteen or nineteen I see an engine from the two Series B M. W that's haven't so that little tiny little car will have like you know. Probably three hundred fifty horsepower engine and modern Sis
bench in the modern brakes and modern transmission he's in the process of building like the first version, that right now, yeah he's a wizard. He does really cool shit with cars so they're going to take it. Look at that. Just looking, there's a guy from bavarian workshop mark from Brovary and workshop put together a car, that's similar to that. He he put a M3 engine and an older two thousand and two I actually saw it. The other day was parked in front of his shop, yeah that's. It is on Jay Leno's garage. That's exactly that car is radical. That is a lunch, backs back up a little bit back up a little bit yeah. That's it! That's it there's mark right. There that's Mark Norris and um yeah. You know he made this dope car. Were you nervous about beaten, big J, no Lana? I had met him before he's. Really nice he's always been nice, I know, but he
like a comedy man at Massachusetts, comedy God that I know the tonight show and then now this car God is only like two loves. He does have that but man he is so much more comfortable and like happy talking about cars when he was on, tonight. Show is basically, like you know: hey here's, this guy, yeah, Reddicks yeah purple purse with Joey Lawrence he's got a girlfriend, will sort of kind of she doesn't know it pulls out a gun and blows his brains out his brains, format, NBC Peacock is a company man to the bitter end and he's got an who's in his mouth. He keeps changing collapse. The older guys like leno- and so I know, there's so much more lives, and now they don't the Instagram and all that shit. They don't share their podcast. They don't do it. This shit, they don't do stories and tweets and
It seems like I've hung out with some of our own to say were buddies, but I'm hung out with a few times because a comedy and he's like wise- and he does the does t m- you know and he doesn't drink and he's like centered in he's got a family and he loves comedy and he's got his money and it's just he's he's a good guy to look up to as a as a as a comedian and like a bit. The person where you want to be and as a man we want to be in life and how you want to be and what you want to be like, like the date that we heard about how I met him now, do I mean he was my guy like I was doing him when I started and it was embarrassing. Did you do a guy and I did Jenny? Ok, I caught myself on stage once going on. Yes dude, I didn't exactly like him I did an open mic in New York and in New York they were ruthless and I went. I was walking in the MIKE in some kid in the back, went Bap, Bap, Bap, Bap Bap and it fucking crust main because he was mocking me level because he was right and I have
that ever since that day, I chewed him out on the mic, but I also changed my ways: 'cause. It hit me right to the corn and So you know whatever I'm doing. I'm doing four sets a night and I run over to Gotham and they go ahead. Slow down. Buddy and you know, when you got four sets. You gotta make those times. So it's like Domino's, you lose them all and they go hey. Slow down, sign, fell gonna go out. Damn I mean that's how jaded we ours comics, the biggest comic on the planet, is on I'm like fuck. I could see kind of watch him, but I'm like I gotta make my shows so they go down I think, he's going short so he gets off and I and I got you got to follow me like a fucking, that's bathroom break for most people. I know samples done we're going to watch the next douche. So he's walking past me off stage, I'm walking on and I go yeah still got it and he goes hey. I like your stuff, and he just said that, like in passing, I was like. Oh my god like I figured he would even acknowledge me. You know, and I'm freaking out so now I
oh and it's for Merrill Lynch or something it was like a corporate kind of thing. So I had to be clean, so I go up and I'm beaming from the sign fell a compliment that I just level the level I just it's coming out of its oozing out of my eyeballs and I killed and turns out. He was watching so not only did. I have to go after him, but I had to be clean. Thank God. I have like eight minutes on school shootings, kind of feeling and midgets. So, like I had to be clean, and it went well and I got off and she was like. Oh, that was fun. Let's The next day he goes, hey came out of the shadows. Goes, let's go hang out, so I go. Oh, my god and there's like a hot lady, you know when you have a good set, you got a little juice. Whether I would never have anything to do with this lady without comedy, and we go in the green room. We talked for an hour and a half, I'm shitting myself for the first ten minutes he's my here. I grew up, watching with my family must see Tv Nbc, Thursday nights and the first ten minutes. I'm shitting, because you know you know this
that face. You know his voice and everything so well. I know everything is done at red, is biographies and shit and then, after ten minutes, just a comic he's just along island car guy, baseball guy, comedy guy and it was just super cool and we talked- and he goes at, take my number and I go I'll. Never I'll, never call you goes use it use it and that was it we just it a little and then as he was, as I was leaving. He did a bit, though that was new and I go here. I gotta tag for you in that cemetery bit and is that whatever take it easy next day, what do you wanna cemetery bit now were texting, I had nothing to go write a bit. You know I had quite a bit in the time. You didn't really have anything. I did not. That was fucking with them. So now I'm running a cemetery bin, I'm like um, googling, cemeteries and shit. I don't know anyone cemeteries, so I came up some head stone,
and Bull I sent it to, but I could tell he was like yeah that sucks blow me. I have been. They say I trying to say, but I want to keep it going. It's like talking to a supermodel right when I was like, but you don't step on Carlin Cemetery Bit. He goes way. What's that, so I sent in that clip and now we're going back for the Carlin and then you and I go- I think- is better than prior and he goes. What do you crazy so now we're going on ah Carlin prior fight and we just fucking had it with two hours of texting it was Why not just call each other. You got that conversation done twenty minutes waiting for a fucking text message where you're also watching tv is sixty five. Do we took forever to get the words out, but we have to use the glasses but I didn't want to. I don't want it to end. I was happy was long so so now your you're besties. I wouldn't say that, but I mean close. I would I would even say pretty close.
I'm closer to you than I am to him. You know it's one of them, weird ones, yeah! You don't want to bother and I get it and then you don't want to come on too strong. Where he's like this guys up, my ass is on famous, be bothering that guy all day long, so I'm trying to keep him like Colin Quinn, hammer buddies. That meant Colin. I love by the way very underrated. Oh yeah super never talked about Colin Quinn, genius comedy, but tough crowd. You will around those that that's my whole comedy world is tough crowd. That's like my info. You were you ever on it or no. No! No. That was for I. I started okay, six. I came around. I was on it like maybe second season or so something forget and common. I hadn't seen him in forever and he was warming up the crowd so is doing stand up to warm up the crowd. Yeah I mean in fucking murdering- and I was thinking he's like right now doing something that's a way better than the
So itself like this is so weird because, like his stand up like it was very tight and you know- and they were huge, Colin Quinn fans, tough crowd fan, so they were laughing hard, but what that show was was the first show where comics could ball Busty like we do in the back bar at the store or like we do. You know when we're in the green room. We talk shit about each other? We fuck around, we have fun. Front of each other and we laugh and it's really it wasn't fake. Try to react to that reenact. The ball busting is always sitting there saying he to either. That is net will give someone says something like marketing your coverage on that date. That can you go as far ' first gank again we didn't get it. You know get the fuck out of here. I'm not faking that I remembered APOLLO had some line. He said Ralphie May was sitting on a big red bean bag. Chair and Depaula said you look like you jumped out of a plane and land
a coke machine, a tree star Jones uh, one time he bombed and he took a sip and Patrice goes. You take another sip of timing, just so many seasons, and these guys were the king is saying that and they knew each other and it was no. It was It was a show that I don't even think you could do that. No, it's too real yeah Bill was very much like standups, actually talking shit to each other lol and the way they used to the way we used to know you. Really well. This guy's uh, you know by so go easy on him or whatever this New York New York. Your experience in this yeah all new, I'm in New York right, but you don't get that out here that Oh, that's yeah. You live like that. I did a show with stories like there's a lot of guys on the show, we're gonna get in trouble in seventeen hours shut up. This is L. A was like Jesus LA is I'm a full on meritocracy, there's a lot of funny women, but they have to actually be funny. What is that you don't
to get on the show just 'cause you're a check, but it's weird. That's even controversial like, of course, is funny women's funny minorities, blah blah blah blah me everybody. Why it's more offensive to put you on Bich, 'cause. You have a gash about, like? I was saying about this girl that was telling me that she wants have a certain look for her writers room. I'm like that's weird, The look should be whole areas, yeah it with the who find the funniest people that are willing to work for you right, don't worry about. I want black, gay women. I want this. I want that list. Don't do it it's a trap not the best show that way. Of course, the best show is find the best comics if they happen to be all women yeah. Yeah. I got it. I get divers that you want different. Like I don't know all the shit black people know or asian people know so get him in here, but like just get the funny ones yeah, the real problem is actual. Racism. Yeah problem is not and guilt ideals is a problem. That's definitely problems with some folks but the actual racism
a real problem not like ensuring that this diversity to the point we are seeking it out, yeah, limiting the better candidates that just happened to be a white woman or a white man yeah. You know you want this instead very strange, but it's not wise. Okay, because your product is gonna, suffer because the the, if you're, if someone's, got a skill like the real I miss someone. I mean. And it rarely happens. I would imagine where someone decides at the far better person like it depends on the the job for sure, but if, if you're in a situation supports, that's one reason why sports so awesome yeah like been the Jack Johnson days, they did try to do that. They did try to keep Jack Johnson from fighting for the top because of racism Didn't want a black man to write because he knew he was the best. Of course they were trying to keep him from being the best, but in most is the areas of life I feel like if you're really good, you get ahead and yeah. If you don't that's the problem, the
I'm is racism. The promise someone trying to stop you from getting a head just because you are whatever you or your ism or white or sex yeah. Yes, that's the real problem. The response to that is not for this diversity, the responses that is like racism is awful and we should all great. But it's not that you should force diverse. I agree. I think it's strange. You make a mistake, you're, making a mistake and it's weird and kind of wrong and kind of comedy yeah, of course, but it's just I get the we got like we went so far the wrong way. The now we're trying to go far, or the other way, but like it's weird, they people can't see that and then they call you racist and you're. Like you don't even know it's always people without black friends who call you racist, ironically, you don't even know any black people and Why are you using that word so liberally yeah, weird word to say that, but you know it like. Why are you use that word? So that's an important word and you can't just
like it in the world where we can't fat, shame and slept shame you can call racism and sexism, so quick races are the worst thing in America to be. A bigot is the worst thing, baby pedophilia but like That's weird that you use that so quick, you even know the person, but it. Is it's an easy weapon to use it anyway? What islands and dragons- and you got a battle axe to throw yeah? I let it fly. I agree with the Saint DE indeed baby. This is Lou. This is a life and spend life people's people's careers of your ruling, because you want to win an argument to be sick. And I hate now now I'm going no, no you're correct, but I hate these new. It's all white! He, by the way I hate these people who get like real, evolved all the sudden and then they got to tell us about their involvement. We knew that shit already, but we're not going on on social media and having like a big parade about how involved you are. We already knew these people are marginal, nah, but just because you found out now we got to hear your side, that's privilege, yeah, that's the old, the privilege like like these documentaries about, I have privilege you can
create a one million dollars to do the documentary whore. What are you crazy? It's insane, like you, think black people are enjoying this they're going. Oh, this is fucking embarrassing and how come I don't get to show. You have the privilege again. Still it's so entitled narcissistic. They can't even see outside their own cunt. All right. Thank you, MARC Norman, uh. Well, that'll get me camp, I'm gonna, bang the gavel all right speaker! You have four minutes to respond. I want good, I want it all we're gonna, let everybody get a job and I'm all about the funny, but you also don't want anybody suffer sexism and don't want todo, but you want the best people to be chosen yeah. I do too, and I think those things aren't mutually exclusive. I think it's possible. I pitched a show about having these stand ups and do this and we were like we love it. Here is a list of people. We think you, you put on and I read the list was like these are all hack, retards, this sucks
These people are all unfunny and I know all of 'em and you start going why. Why would they want to use these people their talent list? I've watched him. I do shows with them the industry sucks. The industry is a bunch of finance cunts there all just wearing a suit. You know whatever, but they're all wear suit and then they were in the room. They don't know anything about comedy. I know about comedy I'm in the I'm in the trenches, I'm in the clubs, but they don't know anybody comedy but they're all in a suit in a you know warehouse or a nice building downtown and they go. This is what we should do, so they look good. They look woke progressive, but it's not funny like Eight then, and the I love prior love, oh, that guy I love Carlin. Now you don't name me one bit, you don't really about comedy or just you just at work. You got coffee machine over here and you got a nice car and you want to keep your gig You want to seem like you're on the up and up, but you want to seem like you're. You know involved in on the right side, but you don't actually care about funny, but the problem is they're involved at all.
It's one of those kind of people. We need all right. You don't want to be brought on a tv. You don't need to be well, not anymore, but you don't need anymore, really. They're a relevant they've made themselves more relevant with this kind of thing club in a tailoring. They do and then they don't suck your dick until you're making money. Then they come and I'll. Let you know I go hey. Will you will you represent me? They go blow me douche and then I started getting some. It's like our rer, a tv show. Every hated ARI. Some people still do and mostly nazis, but he he had a show and then I got popular online, so they go okay, we'll give it to. You will give me this will give me the show. Now then, and now it's a store, doing show that still on with Roy Wood yeah, by the way who I love but yeah, you too, so it just like you, don't know anything stuff. Tell me what's funny. I wanted to do, and I know it's funny. That's do you know if they are going to work for a company that is going to pay money, that's going to get involved, the calm, the business yeah, there's gonna be a bunch of people, not comedy people that are
involved in the creation of comedy, and then their ego gets involved and they want to change the suit. And to this do this to the background, and we want to do this and this shows ruined yeah, I mean um from the black keys is talking about it last night that you get these record douches from yeah. Fresh out of college and they would like, want to change something in the sound right and you have situation. Where you have this non artistic person, that's trying to influence your art, yeah, put their greasy little thumb print, it's strange in the corner of your art, but it's normal when people I give you my money, they give you money for a product and then they give you a lesson like they have a job if you're an executive at one of these you know- Worse, your comedy central and You know, there's a show with a bunch of stand up so you're going to let them do whatever the fuck they want. Are you going to give him some feedback? Well they're, going to want to give you feed. Back there. The ones were like we get to decide whether this
Green Letter and that's fair, here's their platform, but it is, but they shouldn't be there. There's no reason for them to be involved in the world. The company like that the whole idea of the network is always going to be hampered. They're going to get to me handicapped, except financially They have studios and production value and they have like real directors, real producers that they work with and they have a history. A long history of making real television show exactly which is impressive, and I don't have that they don't have the sloppy shit. This is the great you want people want the standup live stand. A is a sloppy shit podcast. This is the sloppy shit right. This is what it is real human shit. It's not. Polished up and edited perfectly with the tide, commercial sham shoved in the middle of it yeah. Well, sorry, before I get inundated tweets about how I'm in a suit- and I'm just on found last night, which is the top of the heap of you- know clean corporate whatever to me
I just people go. Why do you do these late nights and I go because I want see if I can pull it off. You know. Let's say They see if they give all the restrictions. If I could still do it, you know it's like I'll go in the octagon, but let's see if you can bare knuckle and that's why like to do these late night 'cause, I'm like all right, they're to tailor my act they're, going to tweak it and turn it and take this word out and fluff that word off, but if I can still kill with their bullshit, then I know I'm. League good at this. This is a noisy, though, that you're giving up your material for some fucking stupid show that I mean what what are the numbers of people watching these shows. Now it's all for me. I don't do it for the given it up or who's watching or whatever. I just go, I'm in thirty rock there's a lot of history here, The loans on Cedric, the entertainer's on Jimmy Fouls, a comic I do it for the tradition and it's fun? It's a tightrope. You run that set for weeks and weeks and you own it and you tweak it and you get an ending, an opening and then you buy a suit and you go out there.
You knock it out and you could flub on television, which is fucking terrifying and that's why you do it. You do it for that that little moment in time where you're you're on edge and it's great- it's like a high and that's why I do it? How much have you done be three twelve or thirteen wow yeah? I live like old school comic man yeah like like the rich Jenny days, rich Jenna we used to go on all the shows he would, he would do it tonight show constantly prior multiple times a year did Sullivan, but then you go to the bar and he's talking about blowing a dude You know that to me that's cool like he could do every you could do Muay, Thai and Jiu Jitsu, and I like that I don't wanna wear a suit, but you know I went out last night and I slept in but yeah it's fun it's fun like all right. Let me go in your arena and kick some ass and then I'll go back to the club yeah. No, it makes sense. Have you ever thought about it? I mean you, don't need it, but you could you could do it for you
it would be interesting. My time constraints are not going to allow any other endeavors. I like tight, tight, short jokes, yeah yeah, my bits are more, stories that lead into other fucked up stories that I can't tell the third story until you've heard the first two stores 'cause. You know you have to know how I fuck around about things I don't want you to think right away that I'm really serious about some of the I'm saying like you got to know that I'll say things. I don't agree with. It's fine then I'll, say I don't even agree with that. Like I, and also I don't have enough time to just work on a five minutes. But like when I'm working, I'm doing I'm trying to do my act. For me, a lot of bits are five minutes sure the whole bit one that we called at seven minutes and it could be the one bit and it's not given away. You could write another five doubts on it is just I don't. I don't appreciate that media understand that challenge. I understand it is a challenge, but I don't appreciate the medium
great for us no for me stand up, is you know, you're making people laugh in a nightclub setting everything this is an advertisement for that share. Other podcasts is obviously a totally different, but when I'm doing anything else, I'm doing if I'm, if I was doing at tv show in the past. It was basically an advertisement to come. See me in the clubs. Yes, that's what I care about. I am the same way and the money I'll take the sure, take the money, but the real thing was like if I had to choose between one of the two above me talking about this. No, this is not a competition yeah. I can't beat stand up, stand up, the greatest thing in the world is ever known. If you're a comic and you're murdering, no one is ever going to understand what that feels like when you are nothing like the is dying laughing and you you get out of there. The high is so insane and their high, so insane yeah, so much fun to make people feel good. It's amazing! I feel bad for people can't
will. I do I know they're going through life and there never experiencing what we experience all the time right and then they turn it on the art form that goes this Their people are main or whatever. Well, that's nonsense. Yeah! You gotta figure it out. So when people say that when people have excuses for why they're not doing better or excuses what people are doing well, you're looking at the wrong way, you win in that band with you waste not now with the weather. Will who gives a why Justin, Bieber's famous Daiei figured out a waste in that band? With don't worry about that worry about yourself? I completely agree only a certain amount of time for you to think about things in a day, yeah world. Gonna die one day folks, but it seems the amount of time you have in a day to accomplish what you want to do. I don't understand people that have extra time and a bunch of,
time that they can stick on shit, that's nonsense and useless, and that's going to take up most of your day. Thinking about nonsense, useless opinions like why. I know what you mean. You know when you wake up kinda early and you didn't get enough sleep, but you just say fuck it and you get up and you get a ton of shit done that day. There's nothing better! Nothing! Better! Discipline, discipline, self force yourself to go. Let me lay here and try to sleep. Now I lost three hours doing that I should have gotten up 'cause. I don't get to sleep anyway. So I'm with you, but again with the late nights. I have nobody, you forget your enough to have me here and in the the booze and the cars and everything, but I got so I got no drawn out or whatever I I'm still doing the the B rooms I'm doing the funny bones. I cancel the ticket so like I am First, we have to make strangers, laugh still. I don't have fans which is a real. That's all I want to have something. I got a fan and one slash two you like me, but I can't fill
So my careful a weekend, but these cut these late nights. If you put twelve together, that's what sixty minutes. That's a special so people kind of get a little Youtube clip of Maine. I think the Youtube clips in the Instagram clips and everything like that is what to help you yeah. They go a long way, that's to help you more than anything you're, a rock solid. And a man, not they're, really good comments. All I can do it all. I care, but I work hard really hard at it. Yeah. I appreciate that. That's. That means a lot to me. The thing I love, the the art form. It's it's amazing and I do my best to try to encourage people to go it see it try to, but how you get it in the end. It's funny that you're, not industry. I know you're a comic comics here in the mix, but how come they can't ' 'cause they're, not comics man, they're, not comics comedy is one of those things that you can be a
fan! You understand, appreciated, never wanted to stand up yourself, but you got to be in it. You know you got to get it. You got to get in their deep yeah. I look at it from the perspective as a fan, but as a comic man, I mean I've. I've had this conversation too many times, but there's not that many of us has made one thousand of us in the entire country that are worth a fuck out of those it may be less. It might be now the ones that are like really doing well and headlining at clubs and all over the country. What is there two hundred and fifty right out of the I okay. How many of them will sell out? Theaters is maybe a hundred yeah how many are doing arenas. Is it like? Ten, if there's not that many of us there's a tiny amount of us, it's fuck smaller three and twenty million people. I love that it's small, it's very, it's think that's yeah, we're in a secret union club thing is yeah looking great and the real ones will do anything for you. I know I know, but the backlash against comics now. Is it these weird these two side you have to be on? I don't get it. I can I line of this guy and that guy
this lady and this horrible offensive dirtbag and this low key progressive, clean? lefty, I like them, both yeah? Why can't I like. Why do we pick these sides and people just people, the people listening now going. Oh he's one of them he's I'm done with him now. I know why I'm a good egg, don't forget that I'm a good guy! I just like jokes. I like shit humor, I like slurs, I think they're funny, I'm sorry blue main suck. My ass shit in my face. I don't care, I like it. I I I I hang out with my my over the black guy Chris down and he's like we just sit and shit on black and white all day. I'll, just call him a horror when word I'll call me a white devil and slavery, and I make we're buddies, when we love it he's got me in a headlock and and if anybody saw that I would go straight to you know, cancel jail yeah. I would go straight to jail. I'm, like you, don't know our relationship with friends. We We do the road together, we're like during the trenches were like in world war. Two were out doing shitty rooms and we love each other. But if anybody
well, that I'd go to hell because you're having fun yeah, yeah we're having fun. We love it right and we find it funny you're saying one eight, they say for a bit and you have yet on, but in there are you are not allowed to have that fun. It must be forbidden we don't see. We don't do that with anything else like you. Just round about me. My third daughter saying I, I thought she's dead it's funny to me, I would if you were in a meeting with a guy. It was a muffler salesman and you said that he would fucking shit. His pants maybe maybe most of the time people get very angry at you, but here's the thing they're allowed. They go you're a bad person. I know I'm not. I just made the joke. How can you call me about, I know, mean more than you don't mean I would've, I would've talked you out of saying the things about the coke and the guy cheating on his wife at the corporate gig I said. Listen, I want to talk to you out of those gave me the dirt. He did give you the Durban that guy is the same kind of guy. Probably
You know. Oh, I see what you're saying yeah. Well, maybe I'm just saying just 'cause you find it offensive, doesn't mean I'm a bad person or I did anything wrong or Angie Norton had great point. It's like we're obsessed with this movie about a clown who eats kids. That's like the biggest movie on the in the country and we love TED Monday. We love all. That's true. Crime is the biggest thing this really happened, and yet jokes, they really sting people for some reason. Well, one of the things is that we will argue with them. It's very diff. Good to get it to argue back with you I'll. That's like Joe, he is attacked. Is fine? He's not fees. Are you can't shut down? Joey D? Are you can't he's too strong interest? This is Chernobyl. They can What the fuck do they just get out of there with someone like you? If you respond like they can go after you like, it doesn't have a fucking. Instagram page was gonna like answer common, say fuck, you you're a homo. I wear a clown.
Fitness. That's how I trick kids. I don't like I'm not wearing makeup, because 'cause, I'm a girl not like getting trapped in the argument I mean, but they So it's not real. Well, neither is my act and in terms of you see moments, but how many times you've seen someone especially comics like get into it with fans online and going back and forth with people and people done on them in there. So it's an ugly look yeah! It's not good! it's rarely works right, it's bad, but it takes awhile for comics to realize. I shouldn't engage in people, yeah, but a lot of people never learn that right, yeah yeah! So there there there there as targets now, if you're a person in your bored and you're fifteen, and you go to school somewhere in your. Step. Dad is a piece of shit, your mom's, dumb and she's on pills and you're stuck what you got, an internet account and all sudden mark Norman. This fucking con thinks he's funny fuck, you mark Norman, and they say something she Do you like fuck you, your mom's, getting fucked right now by some method, you, like God,
damn. It is right. My mom is getting fucked by a method you're getting involved with this because you're an accessable target right. He tweets the guy. Who may the Godzilla movie, the guys, are gonna tweet back in them read Comic, might yeah yeah work sensible, and it's also good when you write articles because it's a polarizing and polemic topic exactly and when you write articles, it's a good thing to write. Articles about someone's jokes be problematic in cancel culture yeah, but thank God. This guy's like Bill Burr out there that are still swing and Chapelle you still swing and big names that are still do in comedy exactly the way they always did it, and you know that anything for anybody and people go all these these men or whatever want to like be on stage and they think they can say whatever they want the name a comedy. No, no. We don't- I think, we're anything we're not politicians were just doing. What do we think it's funny? That's all it is they don't get? that it is all in the umbrella of Comedy and they go well. Maybe it's just hate speech, but you call it comedy Well, maybe it is but this, but it's funny to me, then it's
then it's comedy it's just comedy. You can't just decide it's not good, because it's hate speech right right, because your hate, your definition of hate speech, is not. If you, you call so some guy some terrible name in your act because you're pretending to be a racist grandfather. Fred doesn't mean your kid exactly. You don't know how I feel your do your part. You mean the sometimes you're doing bits, and this is how the best way to describe that, but it's gonna make people laugh, that's why you do it that way. Exactly I doing it that way to hurt people's feelings and just like spicy food, where the chef we like it. This way, that's how we make it. I'm sorry we don't like you just don't eat at the restaurant and yeah. I would and this is a bold one, but I noticed so the shittier, the guy on stage like the Jessel Neck, like the mean dark say? The real dark shit, those are usually the best guys or girls. Have you notice that they're all in real life there good eggs and nice people and giving and heartwarming? And then these super, like activist e, the we got make
this right and this guy in Russia. But those are you meet them in real life. You know you're you're, evil. You kind of Billy Cosby Cosby. Look at that clean as a whistle America's dad? Jello ties, yeah yeah telling people what to do yeah I mean every time it's a smelt. It dealt in every time. Somebody calls out a guy for being offensive. They start looking through his shit and then you go this guy hates hates Malaysians or whatever the hell. You know that every time that story about the guy who chain Gillis Gillis. The uh, the guy who outed him deleted six thousand week ago Sunday night we're all flawed? Look the night before he released it suppose that truth is I've been proven? Yes, she deleted thousands, I know, but then they go well that was ten years ago? Ok! Well, maybe this is Shane's ten years ago. Let him evolve. How about that? You know well, that's old! So what so? What
So Trudeau is the drill was like the best guy. Ever he was the high height of the mountain. Everybody loves Trudell, eminence yes, and then we found out the blackface thing. Is this we do. We lose all of that that work that he gained, or is it Do we let him slide, but not Shay. I don't get it like this consistency. That's a very good point! Thank you. I have a point. That's a very good point. I don't get, it doesn't mean he should be cancelled for some stupid shit that he did when I was young and dumb exactly thought. It was hilarious that when he said he didn't know how many times you wore blackface uh, they said how many times you are because it the couple extra ones came out and then I don't remember how many times like what is that yours yeah? That's a lot of pot seemed like that was his thing. I know thing also I like how they called it black and brown fish. So we could have diversity even with the arabian nights. Oh yeah, he did. He were like a fucking. Well, that's, okay!
turban on and everything the whole deal. That's less bad because there's no like Mammy, you know minstrel, that's what I thought. The history of the miniature was the whole problem with it. No, but now we've subvert we've perverted that it's become any shade of self tanning. Is that's right? Yes, If she's a tanning salon, that's a bit down if you're fucking getting spray painted. You know you getting spray and you're. Basically, using black face that's appropriation. Well, we had at me and Brendon Shahm had like one of the most hilarious fucking conversations we ever had was about chocolate face. What's that will bodybuilders that body build when they would do competition. They do chocolate body, but then they also do chocolate face like they make themselves brown with self tanning that guy is wearing blackface yeah, I'm like how is this different than black face, and then we found out that some people are sensitive to it, so the only tan from the neck. Down the white heads and chocolate bodies like show my God, look at that how fucking straw
wow. That's cookie! Do that. So take. It looks like a photo shop. Did it so crazy because they used to do their face to for continuity, but they can't do that anymore because our age of a black face answered, it's gonna, be a bummer with the dong you know, spread I'm white size Don is. This is Okay, let down flowed so crazy. It's really weird! Lately that see that guy's got black face. We went into this crazy rant about it and then it became like probably the most viral videos that we ever did yeah look at that yeah! That's a right to! Why would you want me? That's a little dark right.
I mean I can see the lines definition on the big screen with the lights on you. I think that shows your muscles, but ok, that's why they do it. They really they are painting themselves. They paint themselves like a die when it gets in the skin and it shows all the muscles out and shows, highlights and contrasts and everything. Wow had another point. Now I lost it, but it's funny how everybody is getting on board with bill. Burr. You know like all these certain comics who used to hate him or like that special was great. It was very thoughtful. I liked it and you're like yeah. Remember when you working it out. You hated him, you know let the guy, let people work it out. You know like, let's not be so quick to hey. The people who are all about open, mindedness and inclusion are so quick to shut people out ironically. Well most Them are bad. They seem bad yeah. This is this is not a lot of them that are really good, like Granny Lee, Sharpe and really funny yeah. Do you really care about that group, or do you just want to thank you care about a group?
What are you doing for their they're struggling and they're? Probably thinking they're doing the right thing, they might even trick themselves, but if you really know what comedy is you know that people fuck around on stage to try to find a way to say I've said things the wrong way all the time and said things in a way that it used to be funny. And now it's offensive like oh you fucking Idiot, you ruined the funny part of it by trying to make it more edgy in this direction. Now people just think you're mean or not, people just think, you're ignorant right, you're, trying things and maybe come back six months later? That bit might be murder and I might figure it out, just put it on Youtube like they did with Louis and like when all those was getting pissed at him for that that parkland shooting thing like pushing just 'cause. You push some fat kid in front of the way. I might look you were in that audience. That is a fucked up thing to say it it's funny and it went national there's no way he would have ever released been in that form now, but not ready right. It wasn't ready, but he might
found a way to get you to laugh at it. I guarantee you would if I could guarantee you yeah, he was good. I mean he had the bit about nine eleven he's like I jerked off. You can tell how good of a person or by when you jerk off how soon and he's like for me, was between the two towers falling. That's great, I just yes, why is it that you're out to shit on my taste because Let's say you are like my great Grand Father was in the holocaust. So now wow, that's not real. Obviously, that's a joke, but people that is horrible. You would say it's not really like you, a fucking idiot fucking queef. As you could see. That's our e and his his father was a holocaust. Well, there's a gross dumb. He what do you? What what it's not Joey, why you laughing Matic in promoting hate speech is not the first time I just find that stuff funny, and I I have no. I love the Jews. You know it looks as I find everything funny is funny if it's funny, if it's fine, if it's funny, yeah or is it camel space? This is the last outpost.
The last outpost in the world on speeches is what's what your love, what you're allowed to joke about? Yeah yeah? I don't know why the well! I guess because there's a lot of truth in comedy there is a lot of truth in company with what we said earlier. It's like. Sometimes it seems like that's what you're really saying, because that's what it seems like you're, just saying something, because everybody could just say things yeah, you can say things. I think everybody that doesn't do comedy can string together, This is the way we're doing right now, yeah, supposing you're on stage and you're saying things it seems real simple. It seems like you're just saying shit and then already say shit, so I don't. I agree with what he's saying and who I have a forum. Look at this. I've got a thing called Instagram thing called Twitter and I'm going to say shit to him about the shit that he said, and then you, oh hey. I don't like when they say shit about the shit I say and that it piles on it. Comes this like and then go hey standups under attack, no morons have more of an ability to reach you now, but the peep
we've always been offended by jokes. They haven't had a chance to express themselves, but a lot of people are morons there well educated people. I knew starting out in San Diego as a smart, lady or smart guy like this is a well educated person. It's almost it's more than more there's like a cool aid thing happening here with like little that so there's a little thing going on with like these people are almost always a brainwashing, but there's a like a a reality is kind gone a little bit, they're all they're, almost so wrapped. Put their own horse that it's, I don't know it's like taking over and They did a certainly a little bit of the compliance yeah and they build up from talking to each other like it is reinforces it, and I kind of get more more Jew stop to go. This is real, and then you get you put the the the feel goodness factor on top of it, like I'm, a good, a heck of a good per and in this society now of rewarding people who will shut you down for like
people want to call out a racist guy not because they hate racism so much, but because they know how many points it'll score am, I feel like there's definitely not happening, that's and I I feel, like you know, you know when you go like to also people actually trying to call out race in. Please do one grasses of thing. It's like borders, exes, more homophobia. It's all bad! Obviously, there's all kinds of things happening all at once. The welcoming you turn around to get scale. That's what it is you're dealing with. You know if you have a million twitter followers like good luck, real. You can't do that yeah yeah possible to much coming at you. The core. Is you got to know what you are? Yes, you have to have a good group of humans around you, too yeah. You know that that helps there's a lot of different factors that are going to be a play. If you want to try to get through these tune, that's yeah, you know no, because if you get caught up in any bullshit you I mean there's more bullshit for comics to think about now than ever before in terms of response from people, but is also more avenues for you to put your shit out right, I mean you can just
look at what Schultz has done. Andy Scholes just put his fucking special on Youtube and he went from doing pretty good in abs to selling out in theaters in doing multiple shows in a night, unbeliever and murder and right so this is this is something not that never existed before yeah, but he found it. He figured out how to use it properly and now you like, oh, I don't even need those cunts over at this net. Work were telling me to where the purple suit it's funny and I like, when your pants are too short. I just think it fits him yeah. I think the the short parents is just an rc. Am I mean, is Mark Norman short pants. There are only so insecure and weak there we go. Maybe they're right right, this person's house, or or even better. You like this fucking moron, is telling me to wear short pants. I can't believe I have to take advice in this dish. You do If you want to get that, show exactly nonsense. Chaos. This is too much it's too much, but you're still enough of us, but enough still enough, like
comics out there, yeah yeah, it's a good number, there's a good number of real comics. The thing about this Shane Guy and this this this shit that happened to him. It's like what they're doing is this. Planned, shooting the shit conversation you know and they're they're from that Legion of skanks sort of invite. When everybody is constantly offensive and rewarded for it, many people enjoy, that kind of just mean you know shit talk yeah, especially in this day and age with things, are very pc fun to say it. It gets a little rise out of yes, so what people did was they took a clip of that? And then, It was like. Well, we can't have this at the network like as, if that is everything that guy is, I'm sure everybody says that guys. A good comic he's a good comic. I haven't seen him yet, but it's universally everybody says is a good comment, please open for me and he's tough on is he's better off this way
you be late for sure, yeah look. Paula Gys, for that you know he already did you know he said he missed. You know it takes chances. He misses. You don't know that People are going to listen to that. It wasn't a great clip, but it you don't know who he is. The problem got to stop calling people erase it. That's the worst thing in a big it in a where is the worst thing you can be and you can killers a little worse? I don't know anymore, I don't know, if there's a fist, I I here's a fun story. I hooked up with the girl on tender were years ago and we were laying in bed after the section and she goes. I gotta tell your for. You look like a serial killer and I was like Jesus. I was like in your photo you busy and she flipped out. I'm like yours was worse, but that's where we're at. In our society said I look like a murder, multiple people. I've said you look easy, but I guess the problem is. She was easy. I was in a serial killer, but again
Let's get all mad about that joke, but I'm not. I have nothing is easy. I like sluts, I think you just slut shamed. I am I'm. I was a slut myself. I love a good. Ah, what do you call it? Good good? Ah, go promiscuous it up. I say that's also another weird things like whenever guys, like, I fucked a bunch of chicks women go oh jeez like why? Are you slut, shaming? Now? Why isn't allowed to go? Fuck a bunch of people? but no one never celebrates of a girl fox, a bunch of guys if girls, like How was your weekend I fucked ten different. I don't even know him. Let him all come inside me. Kernels would be like what the fuck is wrong. Feel. Well, that's interesting. If your buddy said he fucked Enghouse, even like whoa, because you do it, you say even women go that's weird exactly when I get mad at you. Yeah interesting women get mad if they find out their friends had like foursomes yeah that is weird: where is the love? It's the same with fat people we all talk about, big is beautiful, but then every gal goes to the gym and you're like oh. I thought it was
beautiful, which one you just don't want you to feel bad sweetie So they say say that I I got some spectra me shit where, if you tell me one thing I'll, believe it so I I I you're just lying to me now: yes, the just line. Okay, that's not anything! You don't need to lose anything sweetie, you're, amazing! Your body is amazing. Yeah, because I was with a lot. She's got a juggle mountain. Dew sit next to her car she's, not happy this nonsense. This is not amazing. This is a per so it's eating themselves to death, yeah, it's very unhealthy and then how long do we? Amir's mirrors, that's comment mirrors, terrible yeah because they need to do is just have a snapchat filter for everything. Huh yeah, we don't like truth, truth is out. Will you mansion if augmented reality change your shape? Imagine if I put it one. Those new Google, glasses, augmented reality glasses on, and you look like one of those bodybuilders with the white face, and
truck body, but you were jacked and ripped. If I took the shirt, it is the the glasses of your your normal guy right on them. You know you could have the sensation that you're with someone disk incredibly attractive yeah. You can have sex with them. And never see the real body. That's coming yeah for sure that will be here and then you get surgery to just keep the glasses on. They won't want to take him off. People amend too hard, but you gotta realize the fun part is working on your body. It's like getting in there and fix and stuff and eating better and it's hard and you discipline yourself and you make it work and he turned down the ice cream. When you get the cal, you feel better. That's what life's all about yeah but you're talking about disk, one and some people don't want to hear that shit. They would rather just you be celebrated for who you are you're amazing. Everything is amazing. There was a who got it was real or an empty. He was of a writer for VOX these kind call whiny dude anyway, but that was his stick, but he fucked up and he's a
a guy and he said that we should stop looking at these gay thirst trap pages with these guys that have these unattainable bodies in this unrealistic body types in the gay folk when I had him with the fewer good good for them, They were Fuhrer he day, but they but like that that, like the idea of realistic body type, in the gay community. Those guys are not trying to hear those young young, wild, gay dudes, just Dtf. They don't want to do that. Nonsense, shut your fucking mouth exactly and that's the beauty as a straight white guy, the devil. But you can't really say much. I feel if you're gay, you got a little juice. You know: 'cause, hey, I'm gay, I'm a gay man, I'm a minority, I'm victimized, so you can be like fuck. You were doing it. This way, don't try to tell us how to live, and it seems like. Empowering. But if you do it
seems kind of right, rallying lanzi yeah Little Charlotte's ability, yeah yeah you like, and I want to live to. I I you know what the world the same. I'm sorry don't hurt me. I don't know it's the love, the gays, it's a fun time for great comedy. That's what they It's a great time for great comma, because people are so happy when you make a point and it's kind of offensive, but it's also hilarious, and they have to agree with what you're saying, because you there's actually logic to what you're saying that that is, for whatever reason that that just turns p engines, yeah and especially now, if you can weave through, was I still have to pay.
For people who don't know who I am, and I gotta you gotta we've through that offensive blog and get to the point and still get a laugh. It's like you went under like the chicken wire they're. The bombs are going on around me, yeah, a good feeling. Yes, that's a great feeling. It's like a puzzle, you nailed it yeah, it just makes it a little bit more difficult and when people try to do sloppy and clunky- and you know sometimes are doing it because the the bits in progress- like Louis. I think that's where Louise thing was. It was just in the progress in the process rather of being created, but when you let some one figure out how to navigate those hurdles, saw Sometimes you all of us will get a great reward. You know, like you know, like a great Chris Rock it or you know ah great bill, Burr Bit that took a while to work out yeah. These bits take a while to figure out where the juice in him is, and it's a shame to get those out there before
Jews can I have a really a shame. Anil, what's real up, because you know the bits take a long time. You know Chris Rock's bit about and words. Yes, yes, that's it. He said, took like a year to work. I believe it it's long and it's heavy it's heavy and he said people were mad at him when he first started doing it wasn't doing well, yeah but figured out a way to just cut it down. To this perfect form. That's just polished the dime in the poor words now like one of the most iconic bits of all time, amazing, but as a guy who grew up in a probably black neighborhood that bit hit home. That was huge, some murderous bit unbelievable, it's poignant is hours. It's great Titus ten yeah it well, it made him, and but it was also undeniable, like the city was saying in the bit- was so undeniable, so well made yeah yeah, but that got it took long time. Imagine if somebody released that when there was a crowd that was mad at him,
He did it today and it was one of the times where he's first trying it out, and you know releases it like you can't! That's not you know it's comedy. Is this long process, you can go watch it happen, one of the cool things about the stores. You'll get people to come back multiple times and they'll say yeah. I saw you do this bit five months ago with so much better. Now I think. That's amazing, five months ago kind of sucked a little bit well Harris you were there. That's the flaw of our art form and I hate to keep calling number was. I sound like a pretentious chief as long as it's an edgy art form, but you need people to work it out. So they see the shit yeah. You know it would be nice if you could go tinker in the lab to go. I got it Eureka, but now you got a slug it out in front of these fucking fat white idiots. I don't know handy buddy, who is capable of writing all their material. Perfect was still proud page to a friend. My SAM is like a joke. Technician. Beast and he'll text me shit. I'm like that's amazing,
and he'll just go right up and do it, but it's tough man it takes. I like to play around with on stage because you never know where to go, and then you find a new thing because yeah the audion, the laughter, helps you go a certain direction, so I think ill I half and half as good yeah. It's it's all different styles to you know like, I think, thank you, God Hedberg yeah that's a completely unique style and he used to write a lot. Apparently here a lot had a lot of material friend of mine open for from two things he said he showed up. He was sleeping on a couch, probably like a heroin high and he because I am a Neil Know- goes best job in the world and fell back asleep, that's fun and then two. He said he would put pages out on the front of the stage in front of the microphone and it was all a new bit like note cards would go joke joke joke that he would try a new one and then he would go okay joke one of the note card didn't work and he just did that all night. Could you do with those short jokes? You have to have a lot of 'em, oh yeah, so yeah I would imagine
When did a special wonder if he had those no cards out on the stage and because everything is non, sequiter yeah, that's true and he's on heroin. So it's not really hella fucked. Do you remember all the bits when you're on heroin did you know? You probably knew all these heroin guys. I know him a little Stanhope was closer to him than I was. I I'd work with them before the comedy store. I'm a little. I was always a giant fan, though loved his he's. One of my fave, things to listen to when I would go to the airport, because I would go to the airport and it would be like traffics Jackson is just, but he was so silly. It would put it all into perspective. I just be laughing at silly nonso like yeah right, and so it was like a good thing to listen to for me right. I was I I associate it with going to the air interesting now. Well, it's funny because I always use people go. You know when you do a joke, that's offensive to go. You think racism is funny yeah. I have it set up right away. You know,
it's like, I don't think rice is funny, but when Head Burgos Rice is great when you're hungry for two thousand of something That's fucking genius. So rice isn't funny, but you make it funny. It's the same with racism of the Holocaust or miscarriages or whatever you make it funny. That's what jokes are well. This is a time of compliance, and this is one of the things that we've been talking about. Its compliance. Is people want you to comply? They decide that this is a new day and we're going to change anyway. Oh boo, hoo comedians, you can't say what you want anymore consequences. Tough shit might get. They say that, because they're not comics we care, they don't care, whether not they tank your career or stop you from telling jokes. They don't care, they want compliance with. They want appliance over at fucking, Google, they want comply giants over the Chevy dealership. They won't compliance happening now is a trend of compliance and some of its Gus shop and social justice. Warrior ethic and some people are sincere. Some people
we're trying to help and all those things. At the same time, because there's always people that are trying to get people to listen to them and do that what they want- and you know we've always had fresh. Is it decide they're going to dominate where we go and what to say, you know that one person are sure going it's the best. Fucking Movie Trust Maine come on. We're going like oh great, we gotta go to MIKE's movie. That's always happened. People always wanted to tell people what to do. This is a version of that along with there's a motive like why? Wouldn't it be better, if there's no races, Yes, what's the best way demand inclusion, demand women be hired everywhere, demand every board a woman on it every day. So this is the way they're going, and but it's not the right way either the right way. Is to never keep someone from the position because they're a woman yeah, but it's not to hire a woman if they suck yeah, because a man is right there and he's great and I'm assuming that that's. It was also not the higher the man, because that we need we have to some men. No, Now the women's game on it just hire the best
I agree the women also you wanna, pepper, and that the media is a bunch of cruises who just come and go. We got a black and just a sizzle of a of a scandal. Yeah growing out there yeah, but my room, the guy's name, career and and life okay airs put it out there where would I get one click from bed bath and beyond? It's worth it? His whole name is tarnished but hey. We may get some ad money from a ray ban, throw it on. But this is the click world you know I mean these people are starving to death, these journalists. They have to get clickbaity titles. They have to have click baity stories, they don't know ones clicking, and God forbid you work for some. Place. That's got a subscription model. So, if you're writing for the Washington Coast to New York Times- and you can read a chapter and then it's like, if you would,
I like to read more. Please subscribe like right. They give you a taste like your crack dealer. Yeah, you notice. Yes, I subscribe to a lot of them, but I almost reluctantly click through with my locker sure 'cause, I'm like what are you doing to me here yeah. I already subscribe and you hit me with this grossness. How do they sleep at night? They have to That's the only way to survive, no one. Yes, I look there's so many free pages and there's so many air quote journalists, yeah and then they're just fucking kids fresh out of college, they might suck at journalism, but they got a job writing for a website because they submitted something in the editor liked in the editor might be a fucking moron and they are wrapped up in this world of social justice warrior ethic, and this is the trend of the youth. They're all they all think that they're helping things yeah it look. We all want equality, we want progress, they don't realize that we want that were just evil men to them, which is so gross, but they don't realize that it's going to come for them. Yeah
It's going to know it hasn't hit us it does. It does, and it's not pretty and then you're going to Jesus Christ. Had this happen, it's going to happen read that monster to keep your legs there you go fed it. He fed up monster, no one standing up like there's. The real problem is stopping the real issues, whether it's sexism or homophobia, the real homophobia like people like Chan saying all fags go to Hell. I share those Westboro Baptist church. That's real homophobic! That's real: it's not this perceived thing, because you don't think that it's the best idea for Trans men do use a child's girl's bathroom. Where you don't. I mean like what what what? What are you doing here? I know we're all together. Everyone all genders, yeah nonspecific, enormous bathrooms of giant May
and with dresses on shitting right next to little girls right. You know what your father waits outside like what do you? What is this with you and it stunts progress, because you know you might say a fact like that you just read off Google. You know you read off the census or whatever uh. Excuse me, and it says, like the dropout rate with children is through the roof or whatever. And then you say that people go wow well you're racist you're like well. Maybe we should work on that. We can solve this problem, help it or you know, like. I thought you cared about this group like let's try to you know it's like we had a the pipe in here like we gotta fix that below. What do you hate pipes like no I'm trying to work on it? Let's help is that the whole point, but you You call somebody these horrible things, then the media picks up on the one little headline that one tweet and now you're fucked, so you can't do anything. I use that file. I won't even leave the house or tweet or say anything well. This is a fairly new thing right. The world of click bait articles online, and I think it's gonna, probably more from the something
bounce yeah. We probably didn't see that coming. I guess that's what I'm thinking now. I feel like we're. Just gonna go into twenty two camps. You want some of this. I'm okay heavy duty or Jameis was going to touch it, but you can't get high enough. He can eat at like one thousand milligram edibles into affects effects, I'm a mushroom guy Jamie! Oh me too, oh yeah enjoy. Oh, I love a shroom. That's my favorite drug! It's pretty good! Damn good drugs, no hangover, it's its five hours, a lot better after you over yeah. You feel good. You think some good yeah, it's almost like clearing the trash yeah, yeah yeah, like a de fragging of the hard drive. Yes, yes, see, you see some shit. Clearly we laugh it's almost. You can't live like that, because you just stared at that knife and go all right that knife was made in Taiwan some guy. He had a life. He had a wife, he had kids, he was molested like you. Just keep, come back and you're right but two hours on the night and then, if you do that with everything in the fucking Room, Jeffries, ok, then you go off into that world. Never move
never move! That's true or you go too far, and then you like, what's the point, I am one one of everything, I'm a part of a molecule exact molecule in combines with all other molecules around it right. Bronze and what do I love Neil Degrasse. I could just listen to that guy 'cause. He may make science accessible and I'm, like oh he's, already take a sip of water that water had a molecule in it from Abraham, Lincoln, who fucked the kid and the kid, you know, wrote a donkey down a hill. I think Abraham Lincoln Fucked, any kids bro he's freed the slaves at top internet in it, oh no, four year old and seven year old ago. I found this really hard to hear sorry so yeah, like a horrific jokes, I do two men. Roast battles won the rare places still left where they can go hard in the. Right right! I love that and then they hug afterwards yeah. That's like part of the part of the show, like you know, Moses sets up the rules.
When he gets on stage and he says when it's over the no, no, no physical, nobody gets physical, no pushing no shove in no hitting yeah, but afterwards every hugs. I love it. I've seen that there's like a handicapped kid who gets fucking, Ruta Lee Shit on and then he'll shit on someone else would like, and it's funny cuz it you go it. We talked about Jamie fat, shaming. You go down to the core again and those are all the jokes. You know you fuck black, guys, you're, better shit, you're, a whore, you're you're, secretly gay, your mom fucks, everybody like it all comes back to those old. You know those old things we pretend like it doesn't matter. You can do whatever you want, but yet, when it comes to insults, it all goes back to that hard shit. It's part the person yeah. I mean this this. This is utopia they're chasing. If they ever achieved, it will be the most boring place on earth yeah, not that we shouldn't work towards utopia, because its ultimate, I'm going to make reality better agreed and it is better already yeah. It's definitely better and that's another thing that people don't lie,
here. Even though there is racism and sexism murder and rape and crime all over the world, it is a fucking way better place to live today than it's ever been in history, oh yeah, we're lucky out about it. You and I and everybody, listen to this- we're all lucky that were alive this time. This is the time where you don't have to worry about you know invading boards of Mongols, coming over the hills with swords and fucking bows and arrows. You have to worry about. You have to worry about most things that people lived in fear of in terms of disease and injury, most that stuff they can fix yeah. I can fit the diagnose things now, people live way longer. Now this nutrition and health is way more things to do and listen to think about it. Nobody was smart enough to invent a plane or the internet or cars we'd be fucked. There's more penis is now than ever in history. Yes, this is a wonderful time yeah with this a few problems, but there's all so a bunch of whining con to fuck up everything, because all they do is constantly complain
and they make you miss the beauty of life. What I say, the better things are: the more people complain. It's the rich lady at the nice restaurant with the lukewarm champagnes. Also people that are in this coat does a cultural trend. The cultural trail and is like complaining and activism, and they I think journalists should be activists, be they be promoting the ideology that they subscribe to and this what's also leading to a lot of this. Censoring people social media and you know in d platforming people all that stuff comes from the same sort of idea that you're going to socially engineering the world. Instead of subscribing to the first amendment to freedom of speech, so we can all work out who should be able to who's? right and who's wrong. When you soon, as you say that someone can't talk, Then you don't allow this working out process. You just decided that you're, the dictator right. So if you've got this culture of compliance where eh
the body is almost shamed and bullied into believing one thing and pushed into this direction, and especially when the vast majority of tech is controlled, at least socially by people that subscribe to very progressive ideas and very liberal ideas, and that's also a part of the culture of the people that are going to- universities and those are the people that are getting the jobs at Google right, so it's all this self fueling thing, yeah yeah and I'm a liberal cuck douche Twatt loser, but I I feel like there's. Some you have some incense here you gotta stay like out of the out of that weird fog, everybody body in in in the brainwashing happens and they'll start blowing each other in a yeah and it's it's chaos. Yeah you got it. You got to stay out of the weeds. Yeah and even that and Andrew Young Guy, like talking about getting people to stop beating me like that. Hey no, yeah, come on! Stop. You can't
like the money was analytically. Is let's fix this problem? That's that it's broken. He probably will it believes that that's a key to making the world a better place. All right, Think, there's a lot of people. That would argue against that. I think if he sat down with those people and how debate, I don't think you do well well think I think of someone who could explain The nutrition require, like really explained, based ACT like Chris Kresser Guy, based on actual science, someone like Rhonda, Patrick no you're not going to stop people from eating beef, just stop yeah, that's not smart! It's not wise! You gonna put all these ranchers out of business in a way yeah to say you know I only jobs on the line. You understand how many people love steak and wouldn't have a problem go away. If you do, if you don't kill, tell tell me what happens to live forever. It happens to become fairies, dragons and the order that we get. That there let him free they get taken out by bears and mountain lions in your backyard. So we rise
so we just let him breed everywhere and then every time you trying to drive to the store bull comes smashes into the start of your fucking car, because it's got a hard on, because that would happen. We're gonna, let him roam free your column, you're gonna give them birth control. What you gonna do what you do at this point? How about we just eat him responsibly and ethically? How about that? how 'bout we feed him grass, it's real, healthy food, and if you Leave a life is life just one life worth a life, well, you're responsible for way: more death, 'cause you're, responsible for birds and bugs and ground nesting birds. Fucking rodents and anything that gets chopped bunnies to get chopped up in those combines. Farm lands that displace wild animals left and right. They put fucking pesticide seeds into the ground. There's a lot of fucking chemicals to get released into the ground. Even look what you would call like: organic agriculture, like you're, still using machines, you're still there's a lot of bad shit that happens to the world
Also funny how like these people love animals so much. And yet, if you watch like an animal planet, animals of the most vicious cruel, evil survivalist there just get on my way I want to save my family or eat dinner, but the right about factory farming, the right about the repulsive feeling that you get when you look at animals are stuffed into these pens and is inhumane conditions there right about that, they're, not right about farms, though not right about sustainable farms like Joel Salatin. This guy, this place called polyface farms where they talked about large scale. Natural agriculture and raising animals in the environment they're supposed to be in, like we have pigs, they move around a fence, so they create offense of these pigs and then they move the fence to another location. After a certain times, they pushed the pigs into this new area and the pigs are always free. There are always free roaming in eating acorns and stuff. The pigs naturally eat, and then you know, I think
supplementing with other food as well and healthy food, but there there they don't behave like A scared, animal. That's trapped in a pen just freaking out they they live like an animal lives. Yeah. You know the The argument- and it's a real argument like why should you be able to kill? Why should you be able to eat something? That's an animal, so it's a good argument a real argument and if you really are an ethical person and you look at the argument- that's your point like we shouldn't be able to kill it's, it's a a, I understand you don't want to think to die and you don't want anything to suffer. What are the way I look at? It is the natural world. Is this fucking shark tank? That's what I'm saying and all you're doing if you're eating meat, if you're eating it in an ethical way, you're moving most of that from the animals life. The end of the animals like you're, putting a bolt through its brain, you might think that that's a horrible terrible thing to do that that cow gets shut off in a second
but if that cow was living in the real world, it would get ripped apart by wolves. That's what a cow! used to be used to be an animal that had a run for its life and the wolves would sneak up on him and they would tear their legs apart and start eating them. Asshole. First I've seen it sucks this with every animal. Does it's crazy all die like that? All her before's that live in a farm environment? their free range of their grass FED cow. Also just wanting all of them live afar far superior life to any their wild counterparts, they live longer, they'll be healthier, and if it's uh, one like a Joel Salatin or someone who does like ethical farming, where they have large scale like big giant patch is the land with these animals are allowed to roam, free and eat grass, the only no problem they have is when grizzlies move in that's when they have a problem grizzlies in walls find out about their cattle. So when the knack troll enemies of these animals in cal
to them in these in caged areas, then they have to keep them out. They have to protect these annals they're, going to kill from the animals that want to kill him. The whole thing is crazy: it's crazy but it's crazy on both sides. It's all entitlement. Really, it's like a narcissism like we need to stop this and this is it, but you know the world has a plan. Already it's going to happen. This is a food chain and uh pecking order and but don't get eaten, but I don't think we should support factory farming and I think they're right about that. I think When you see factory farming, you see the horrific and Listen to some of these animals have to live in and then you know they just mean some of the pig farms, man, food drone over one of them and it had a lake. You know like a we're not with pig, shit and piss, and it was the most this, costing looking fucking lake in these animals were all stuffed into this area. They would shit into this pipe in the pipe lead into these enormous lakes of pig, shit and piss, and you like with these, are like these meat fact
series meet slash, torture, factories, definite PAL pig supposed to live right. A pig supposed to live like the Joel Salatin pigs live. I thought there wandering around didn't pig in shit then that the thing um glop. They like the roller, a some pig I like to roll around they the roll around shit, but they don't want to just live stuff on top brash reading into a metal grate, is to see the video Jamie right, of course, yeah, and we pulled off you too, but it's has kindly terrify video. It's like rehab ever look at a rehab they're, always so nice. You know these people are is like. Oh this paper that person was a heroin addict. We gotta save him like. Maybe I'm actually get it on her own and go to rehab there like in Malibu and shit yeah. They overlooked the ocean. Yeah they're birds. It looks pretty good right, but I've never done heroin because I know get hooked yeah. It seems like one to avoid yeah anything pain. Pills are good to to take I've down
but yeah. I I know how addictive it is. Jordan Peterson just checked himself into rehab. Why yeah well well well for what he got on an anti anxiety. Colonna pin is high anxiety, medication 'cause, his wife is heavy on with his wife dealing with heavy cans. Liver, yeah and she's been going through. Operations apparently she's doing well now and he's trying to get off of this stuff and when he tried to get off of it, had such a horrible withdrawal that he is according to his daughter, it's on the news, yeah, I had to check himself in so he it's an anti anxiety medication. Apparently that's how it's used some one of the ways it's used the strong one klonopin. It sounds like a like a drug that people take. That I mean my friends took that in high school. That's no xanax, that's like what is it like It was just like I shut you down. It was, you know, just not one of the ones that they used to and to take people off of Heroin that Smith
down, but isn't there another one wasn't isn't Kalon up one of those ones that they use is therapeutic people. Take it recreationally going Todo do yeah yelled c'mon can put you in jail to our s K. I mean I'm scared yeah, but I for people to get to that it'll yeah he fucks you up. Yeah, like two beers and you're, one of my friends to jump out of a window on it like it is bad news. I think he was just really devastated. His wife was essentially dying right in front of his eyes, and so you probably couldn't handle it. So he got on some Medicaid. Wow is he's one of those guys like he's tough as a bull it'll be fine, but then you know everybody's here well also, I think, he's wise and to understand his physical limitations and up. I don't have never experienced real withdraw all mean. I was apparently caffeine withdrawal, but never like a real second opiate withdrawal. Apparently it's fucking
horrible hey. It might actually be a smart thing to check yourself. Yeah have with people that know how to deal with it and help you through it. You know it's, it's not actually it's the same thing as clients called call on as a PAM yeah. Okay, so is like a street name factor, but doctor prescribed it right, which is weird like. Oh the doctor game, the crack. It's ok! Well, the pills are beds pharmacy crack. That's with that. All is right: a sentinel out of control, panic, disorder and anxiety and seizures it can cause parent or suicidal ideation, and impair memory. Judgment and coordination completeness makes sense for a lot of people. I know combining with other substances, particularly alcohol can slow, breathing and possibly the death Jesus there doctor needed Doctor doctor prescription to hook it up dude. I can't I just can't need some klonopin, but you never,
per cassette and just laid in a pool. No Chica baby took either a percocet or a vicodin. Once one of my knee surgeries- and I was like this- is Terribilis really, oh, my god, I hated it. Well, that's good! That's a blessing! You don't want to like it. It made me really stupid yeah. My brain was so novels, like I'd rather be in pain, wow ignorant in black convulsion or an anti anti epileptic drugs. Well hum. That means it's strong, so must do a bunch of different shit yeah. I also used to treat panic attacks. He must have been having panic attacks. Yeah I mean If is your best time of your life, you know you were in embattled, professor fighting against social justice warriors and then some sort of crazy law that was going to enforce one hundred and ninety eight thousand gender pronouns and he was like hey. This is crazy, like let's stop stop stop. I remember that and then he becomes a national celebrity and people fight him in there angry with him, but also people are realizing the extent of the chaos that's going on these universities, where
use they them Zim Zer demand. These pronouns is nonsensical, made up pronouns and he was like you can't enforce. Each you can't people is like, and with this is where this goes leads to tyranny. I thought he was being like really exaggerating an over the top, then as time's gone on, you realize like no. He just saw all this. He saw this coming. He was right like people are radicalized and I think they're in it's about a lot of it is about compliance. They were to comply. I want you to comply with my new pronouns. You see, the video is a very you, know where this guy goes up and he says, hey guys, point of privilege I I have with what was it? What do you got a problem with I mean I get distracted very easily and if you could just please keep the fidgeting and the moving around so and then this other guy gets up after and says I just want to stop the
gendered language were saying I mean and they're serious and the woman who, given the which is calling everyone, comrades, yeah she some comrades 'cause she's, like a socialist, you gotta listen to this you're going to fucking. How give me some volumes is the university. No it's that a socialist conventions here, This is capitalism. We are going to need a party that will organize work, the fight for the demand that we want and to win socialism. Thank you. So much now is it which guys who, like a schedule, change, Jackson, Sacramento. He him. I will see you. Please keep the chatter to a minimum. One of his very, very prone to sensory overload, a lot of whispering in chatter, going on it's making it very difficult for me to support guys. Can we just? I know it's we're all fresh and ready to go, but can we please just keep the chatter to a minimum? It's affecting my ability to focus. Thank you, hello, hello! Not enough! Is there a comrade,
point of personal privilege. Yes, please do not use gendered language to to address everyone. Hello. This is scary man. He did this gig music. Thank you comrade. That was the person that was up there. Let's do the what's a red wig. I want hug these. Guys, God, folks, we got away from a distance on Youtube. Well it over here it's a good point. I don't want to be there. I don't wanna, be there either, but I thank you. Comrade were going to make socialism win, that's their foot soldiers, people that get easily distracted and get mad when you call everybody guys underprivileged poo, point of person, privilege. I didn't know that was a new thing, but I'm gonna use that from now I like that, I'm upset about something at my house, I'm just saying
privilege guys to turn the volume down you stupid, shitty show you're watching next time. I get heckled at a show. Gonna go hey! You didn't say point of privilege before you called me a homo when I was working in a restaurant, they made it a point to tell us that a two restaurants day I sat us down. This is probably two thousand and ten dollars eleven to stop. It I've seen it come around now again stop saying guys, nuns and I hey yeah yeah. I mean it's like folks, yeah or like what would it like? Don't use the word guys, I'd love the folks, I use it all the time I use folks all the time. It's a fun thing to say I, like folks and I actually enjoy. The word is very comedy, hello, folks, yeah yeah, it's like a light. Hearted greeting I'm into it. Folks is good, I'm all on board with folks problem I had with the all the tables: wouldn't do it back to us that they would all use guys in almost a lot of times be women using it, and I'm like I'm like fighting the language. You well, that's a frozen for the whole country. Isn't it should explain to them that they're not woke and you should have- you should have escaped out of work, wasn't
This is an opportunity to educate and you fucking drop the ball that's. They turned on you. They turn on you. You should use your form for good. This is an opportunity to educate, and what are you doing if your comedy is not involving for progress and social justice, then it's bullshit. This is during like by Wall Street's? Oh, my god check my check my check my check. They would yell it out MIKE check MIC check suddenly like start like this fucking chance, but they would yell out MIKE check like if someone needed to say something they would yell out MIKE check, mic check and everybody else would listen going to say they're playing they're playing they're playing protests, funds like a hip, hop concert. We used to play cowboys and Indians, but that's racist. You can't do that anymore. So now they play protester yeah. I remember that Wall Street thing I went down. Those kids are bankers now, and you know that not the kids that are protesting. How do you like that? Fifty percent of him no way I made that number one hundred percent made up, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone told me those kids
gave up and they now they drive Ferraris and they do a lot of coke. I blocked. I knew it yeah they just wanted to belong. That was the interesting about the disease special when he said who saw that thing in the post things like, oh, I thought it was at the post ago, yeah that was opposed because I made the whole thing up. Did you see that and there's these special. Now that was the best part of the whole special. Was he just made up a scandal how many people saw that, like you know, half the hands, go up and he's like what what would or was it in the guy was like, I think, was the post and he goes well. I made it all up. The guy looked like a complete idiot on it was a great moment just showed were so scared not being on the right side and not being around unaware that you just lie right. You know Netflix forever. Oh my god, yeah, it's fucking, embarrassing! That comes to sign the release you fucked up. I guess so, I'm you that was shocking? What people will sign? You see cops or whatever you like wow somebody signed off on that oh yeah, yeah yeah, every episode those people have to sign off yeah some. Ladies gotta, back a crank, her hatchet wound and she's like yeah I'll sign that he's speaking to crank member crank yankers. That was great
who sees new season is very happy. Oh, that show they used to do it in Vegas, so it as it was in Vegas Vegas, you can record someones phone calls if they don't know it's okay in California, everybody else. You know you know I have to know, I have to say hey, hey man, I'm going to record this call, I'm like ok, my name is Mark Norman and then we'd go ahead right in Vegas. Doesn't matter they could just call you up no laws. Well, it makes you wonder I just realized that show. No one answered the phone anymore. No one talks on the phone. How you going crank, prank call somebody right, Robo calls. I think it's like customer service people and Business you can still get people to answer older people, it all adds her occasionally every now and then my cruises, fucking number also wanted it to go from prank to crank. When I was a kid, it was prank one of that flip yeah. Well, I think yeah crank phone call, though, when I was a kid okay, I was a kid we used to call it crank phone calls. Maybe it was like someone very
did I think you do a prank and you do a crank phone call like a prank. I wonder if that's from crank like the old phone you had to spend that weird thing: oh, give that a Goog! Will you Jamie? I wonder if that's ah on origin, when I was, little boy. You have to do that thing with the dial. No yeah, the rotary. I remember when they invented push button phone. I thought magic was Hannibal so much time. Rotary was like my grandfather's house how we used to make calls forever and if you got all the way to nine and you fucked up get to hang out my God just start all over again. It took so long to make a call. My generation's version of that was t9, texting, number, nine trillion, nine hundred and ninety nine billion eight hundred and eighty eight million four hundred and fifty five thousand two hundred and twenty two You know it took six weeks to tell somebody. I love you, yeah,
It was terrible, but if they could do that they have those little flip phones. Today the Nokia just released a bunch of 'em that have a few Google apps in them, and I wonder if they just had voice to text. If they just had voice to text, you might be able to get by is talking your text messages out, but on the flip phone of now now now, but if they have a couple of Google apps, I wonder if those flip phones a voice to tax the internet, I'm pretty pretty sure of that that, like it connects to the internet, so the phone doesn't connect to the internet. You know by default, it's not you know, I mean well, they have app,
So I think most of these phones are given these ones that are, would call flip phones. Oddly three g and four g, I am, and I'm not saying they don't connect them to say like by default they're not like connected like my phone. I think I'm pretty sure to connect to the internet right now, all the time, because the wraps running yes, when you doing seery, do invoice translation and connecting to an a I app, that's translating rice and they run out like with the flip phone. If it's not connected to the internet, you have to have all that stored on the phone. I have to have a big hard drive right, that's it, but that's the difference between that and like notes, because notes is doing it right from your phone, you could have. You could have your phone, on airplane mode, and you talk into the notes, yeah and you could be on a plane and you could say it and it will translate what you're saying you don't say you don't know what I said you want to say. Your bill on ability: you're not wrong you're, not wrong, you're right about SIRI.
Siri doesn't work when you're not connected to the internet, but like right here like we could do this, we can um go into notes, put my phone on airplane mode, all right, I'll, shut off the wifi. Maybe it's less accurate or something like that you gotta, be, I just don't think I think SIRI is actually doing a bunch of different shit. Not just translating your text. Where is this is translating your text. So if you like text message, somebody my point they might be able to get that on a phone would have nothing to do with the internet, but you could just write like a text outlook, so I'm offline here. Let's try it Mark Norman has been sucking cock secretly, since he got here. Damn it did it sold thing but in a lit yeah nailed it wow, maybe it's true. It nailed it also with no internet. So it's dead lean on long airplane mode is off scare motors on WI. Fi is off. That means they're listening everything. No, it means your phone can translate text to speech
or speech to text. Let's do so a flip phone you could get by with a flip phone that does that, but that t9 nonsense at ARI should fear us to use that again. Just don't say the orbits into your phone in public. You know be like not sieges sandwich, you know and that will get. You kicked out of a southwest flight. Yeah if you like sitting there waiting in line and a flight like a magic, not sieges was the most delicious shit on her something about really hating. It is the purest jizz the lightest, it's something like you have to get them to really hate Jews and you suck their cocks right when they're in full Sieg Heil, and it's like the sweetest nectar that you manage. If they found that out like how the fuck did they find out that that fish were edible. Caviar is worth something all that shit's clams, all that shit's crazy, were they looking for even cheese. You know some guy to eat old milk yeah, oh my god, right or lemon. Just let you buy no eleven like no I'll keep this for. What is that route? Did the casaba that they eat
in the Amazon there's this route, that apparently it creates strychnine Is it yeah? It's like one of the main staples of their diet too, and they have to soak it and process it in water? And what are they? if that water around like little kids and nobody ever fucks with water 'cause, it's like full on poison yeah, and they just have a bucket of it sitting around. If he drank it, kill you instantly strict nine water and they take that cassava root and they turned it into a such a different dishes. Well, it's this really nutty process where they have to boil the stuff for like hours and strain it do. My friend Steve Rinella was filming his show meat eater on Netflix there saying that, and he was watching them, make this cassava shit and if you do it wrong, it kills you yeah and that's the main thing in their diet. Wow tapioca comes from watch wo starts extracted from the cassava root through a process of Washington popping what is tapioca
yeah. Even is it asides delicious? It's a pudding right. What's better tapioca or vanilla, pudding? Tapioca, why? I don't know, I don't know What is pudding is kind of gone away. I love pudding. I love chocolate, put like a snack pack, member, those God. I could even eight of those. You know what the real pudding is. No the people don't get anymore. They don't get the pudding that you make will you mix it and you make it on the stove gets the skin that I love that skin. That's the black skin. I love track into the tracking of the skin to get to those, and then you put in your bowl and it's warm when you eat it. Yes, jello pudding, pudding yeah, he could have Jello pudding, but this better companies. I never heard one well Cosby. This must be other companies. You do you jealous the big Jello pudding because of Cosby. I mean there for forever connected to him yeah, but I think he's been out for a minute.
Moon of Devon LSL business yeah yeah, but that put maybe was a little box. It was so exciting. Bach powder, you shake the power, he had. The whisker plan, yeah lender rather William, was, I think, a close election one, the wiz there were we do it that waged yeah, you get all the the stuff does. Solved all the powdered is all yeah and then slowly simmering on the stove he'd always get mad. If your sister was like turning up the heat, too much you turn up too much is going to burn. Jello instant pudding there. It is still out there doing on yeah, see those packs when you open them up, not as good but not as good, but I'll tell you. Is God damn delicious jello pudding with? They have a sugar free, Jello pudding it sounds like no sugar in it at all, and you can eat like one hundred of them. It doesn't even do. You need anything yeah yeah. How about that was big as a kid and rice Crispy treats like the real ones in the pan. That was a big deal. One What is this, what are you doing, they're putting putting on a
a steak were so interesting. So what it is, is it steak put steak pudding what maybe it's so tender, oh yeah. I think that you could make it into a pudding. I don't have. A preview is just them cutting steaks. Grill Finn, that's gotta! Make chocolate put it with these guys whoa. Oh my god. This used to be like afternoon, like you would do this now, you just go, buy it. What the hell take amazing! This is a different thing. This is like steak in some sort of one thousand. Seven hundred and eighty eight look how the dress like old, Tommy people like there in a what's those brotha the made those visit videos, the songs, those that are they all wore like the clothes from the 1800s they trying to Mason jars, this last time who this guys? It's not that I have it brothers, no, no, no God, damn it! I want to say that Brunson Brunson Brother, that's not it either. You I'm saying no, no idea. Let's leave this podcast with everybody in suspense
never going to find that someone's going to tweet you had it in my head yesterday. I was just thinking of that mode. Throw away in front of and my fear of of all this singers. Yes, yes, yes have it now Mumford and sons, Mumford brothers in there and drop me off. I fucked that up who are they sons and who's Mumford? As that work question? That's exactly tres. Is that right? What do just old, timey do? Dress old timey guys were great. They work, I saw him live once they were killer, write music, but they dress real old timey haha. Did they update? They did I lost it a little bit, but but didn't they have like videos where they dress like that in 1800s, yeah yeah. There you go like somebody forced him into that guarantee. There's a marketing guy. Behind that. I don't know! I you I need you, I need you in these vests
Vester gonna make it no one! No One is wearing vests ahead of us. You guys can be the vest guys. I'm telling you a lot of outfits to wear when you have a banjo in a stand: Bay, that's Neuro, Banjos a whole excess or in it. So now you can dress like that. Another just like cool guys did those guys might as well be the black keys, those guys a key. Are they really? They cook Jordan, Peterson Post photos with effort and sons well, they're both doing they're both doing oxy cotton, hey Mark Norman, it's almost four hours in no she three hours and like what forty minutes or something oh
yeah twenty minutes is we had a lead time most of my podcast for Christ. Yeah tell people to get to to Itunes old. Is you know how it goes, the internet Tuesdays with stories, man, Joe List and yeah, I'm on the road marked on the comedy dot com. Follow me on Twitter and tell me in the whole thing and he's gonna be with me tonight at the end yeah for two shows here I was so excited to test his own Smith, and Alan Makovsky, so we'll see you freaks their prey Zillah by anybody big kiss. Thank you folks for tuning into the show. Thank you to our sponsors. Thank you to calm, get yourself some sleep, kids, it's important and you can also get twenty five percent off a calm premiums, description at com, dot, com, Slash, Rogan, that C, a l m dot com, Slash Rogan, Forty million people have downloaded com found out why at com, dot com, Slash, Rogan get COM, it's excellent will help you sleep legitimately we
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everybody for tuning in much love and appreciation to you all. Bye, bye and big kiss.
Transcript generated on 2019-09-21.