« The Joe Rogan Experience

#1384 - Ari Shaffir

2019-11-14 | 🔗
Ari Shaffir is a stand-up comedian and also hosts the podcasts “Ari Shaffir’s Skeptic Tank” & “Punch Drunk Sports.”
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Rogan experience the outside, like for painted bursts of Megan Birth body, shot bird boy body shots world towards the new name for his world tour? Now he sees add, so good, the arching band. It's really good. It's really good How high are the mall he's? An animal here he's the best self promoting funny person? Yes, it's like Mohammed Ali. Well, most self, promoting comics are not funny uniquely, which is unique piece of each he's funny and he's a very good self promoter. So it's wow. The promotion is what I say about the promotion is the content yeah and then it's almost at the end is like also Here's my tour, I'm sorry baby that he quit that fucking stupid show that used to do
I will channel with that one and then hurt Burt where they would literally heard him on every episode of choke him out and and okay yeah. You have to do a bunch of stupid shit, don't remember her, I don't know, but I got hurt Bert someone, someone jitsu choke them. Someone got them. Or who it was might have been one of the Gracies put into sleep. You don't need a grace, Do that to an unarmed got, really have a murder that I'm into it too. I think it was like one of those things with like you. The oh yeah, yeah. You see that on radio in the old UFC days, where everyone is like, oh yeah, well, look how thin he was that's Burt There's like twenty years old, that's Jorian Gracie right there. So I don't know who's going to choke him. Probably one of the sons wait is that also they're, making him actually spar this kid. That's interesting us a little kid bird houses right, a little kid but yeah, but
see. Red belt in Jujitsu guys got a gun with him while nice. These are not guarding that at all, that's a little kid bro yeah. It got him in that armbar past felt is it's weird 'cause read out of there heard of it it's different in different. Do you want to start before we get too deep into this stuff? You were not started. Well, we were talking about the sprinter Van yeah. We start yeah start you're right, you're right. I forgot we started. I thought we were going. I thought were going to it doesn't matter, but yeah repeat repeated in Comcast history, but we fucked that up we're recording we're, saying how bird is the only person we know who's, both funny and a great promoter, like usually get one of the other he get. I really funny, but we're talking about birds. We thought all this being recorded, we had so much better if they got the audio is being recorded. Oh just that video. So I can leave that in the mp3 by king, download
oh ok, so make them make video everybody. Did the audio we're going to stop now we're going to double repeat ourselves, so bunch of people burning stuff, a show called Bert, Bert, Bert and one disturbed me, the most I don't remember this one at all Bert. He would do a bunch of stupid shit and get injured, but he's really getting her dad's meds he's doing jujitsu with some kid and some red belt kid who's with health and grill hoarding Gracie. Really He was that young. He really reminds me that freq I yeah he was. I can't really see it now, but this is him, like four years removed from that this guy keeps ARM Barnum his know. What to do here. Can I sell one hundred and eight pounds I think part of it is also going along with it enjoying he's. Gotta take the offensive funk that wow I'll never see it. He's played duck twice a possum twice. Now, I'm all right, a video that I showed you that Bridget Fantasy showed me it's a video of this guy who's on a school bus and it is. It is hard to the
little kid little kid off the school bus screaming at him and then a bunch of people like what the fuck are you doing, man you change back on the bus, so the bus driver gets back on the bus and then they check the little boys. Are you ok and they realize this Ok, well like a lunch box and everything is actually a grown midget. An he's pretending that he's a little kid hanging out with these little kids and the bus driver found it through. The look it up play space with like what they say. He's not a kid and then also I was mad. Now he's got to lunch box. He throws out his lunch box and he observe the throws them yeah. It's crazy. 'cause he's got a little bit of a backpack people ready to beat his ass beat the bus drivers as they saw knock off a little kid with five year old body people. Which is the cops yeah and then they, get to him to see hey you, ok, now watch this they go it's uh
so that dude was pretending to be. Everyone is confused. Lookout confusing like I was mad before I don't know what to think now. That's crazy! Let's look at it is that David Blaine, that's crazy, Why did we bring that up? While we were talking about that? That's a great question does not to do. Something to do with burp. I don't know what that was. What does it have to do, it's what else we were talking her? No, no! No! No, I was beating up there in Jiu Jitsu, I don't remember yeah. This is a not sober over November November November. I definitely don't remember what the fuck were talking Did your you're on an Iphone now tell me what that's been like? Okay, it's been pretty interesting yeah, so I've set myself in October to see if I can do it again. You talk about that out. That's on the thing, let enter screen time limit your screen time for your kids, yeah yeah, that's what I was looking for.
Six years ago there, nothing, we just you alarms and you not enough yeah yeah what sort of like member? When we had to do those fifteen yoga classes hot you had to do it so because How to do it. You just fucking, knew you were going to do it. The she Washiness was gone, She watched as I don't have to do this. I could back off. I just I'm kind of tired. Anyway. Let me take the day off that all that she was gone. You couldn't do that yeah. That's sort of the same thing with that app because ' You could always say I'm not going to use my phone much but fuck that me too. Damn it observer of the other people in their phones. Everyone who says that is on all the time. Yeah, it's so easy to be on, and you could with me. I found myself just reading Google news stories for no reason. Just look and a lot of them aren't even like an interesting. It's like. Oh, this car sold for this much money or, oh, you know just like yeah, in time wasting time.
Ignore I'm lying to myself, 'cause, I'm always thinking that I'm going to oh, but there's material in this I'm going to find a story. That's really funny yeah, but you do, Most kind of you find out anyway. You know I'm saying, like people force really good ones like the guy getting thrown off yeah. I was going to get to the way that they would have got to you know years before the internet as the horse one got to as well. The internet was around, but it was years before social media was a joke. I went from, special right. No, no, that's not the seven, especially yeah. Why comedy central, so it was too rough, it's pretty I would say to maybe I can revive it. Oh, my God revive it. There just popped in the early days of the internet were like that yeah yeah. Well, it was a true story too. I did have a friend of mine that I go back and forth with. He was so fucking. He was one of those dudes,
it just knows everything that's up like he can find all the the Budd Dwyer video. You know he was one of those guys and he would send his videos like batters up and uh. Like batter up to focus as I open up the email and it's that porn star with a baseball bat brass belladonna. Yes, it was her. I was like Jesus Christ and then you know, and then it we would go back and forth. I would send him some up. He would send me some up Well, that was surprising spattered. Nowhere batter up was like what is this. I'm like, oh, my god, how how poor girls household must be a wreck. Do it interesting fact about Belladonna that first storytelling Shelby ever did at the improv? Twelve people were there and she was one of 'em, oh wow, she used to go to the comic store. Now she was cool yeah, yeah. It was crazy, they offered me some gaping porn. They had some uh,
These were given away. I'm, like I'm good man thanks guys like. Why did you take? It was like hey man, it's not disrespectful thing, sister, not my phone line into your art. Also, I'm afraid I'm gonna go down the line, her husband this whole, the wind like gaping porn, is the weirdest ever 'cause its people want to look inside people's bodies. You want look in the whole. They want to hold the big gaping. Yes, I guess that's a style, porn painting and why the drip out see the drip out at the end like. Why is it still record and they shake the close up? I'm talking about close up and wait for the to come out. I agree with yeah: it's not for me I don't know why it still on the video, like it, people like weird ship right people like feet. They like they like everything and so like SIRI. What's really weird is that some things that some people would hate, other people, love yeah,
with food to movies, and she like that, I couldn't airport, intelligent, well respected woman. I won't bring up her name. Was on stage talking about how she likes taking loads in the face. Now she might have been saying this as a joke, but it might have been true. Some people just like love it like some girls like that right. That's why it's or was it guys like it and that's why it's a thing or girls pretend they like it. So the guys do it, but for some girls would be like fuck that get that away from me. Other people would love it. That's what's weird about humans, yeah right, there's, so many people that are into such weird shit. I spit on vagina once you well, it's whatever. And so we didn't like it shows like to spend my vagina. No, they might be like whoa, they just shift away, but maybe
Do you like having a really hard time staying hard anyway, because she's, you know, she's intimidating, you and you barely hanging in there and then she spits on do you like hey what the hell might lose? Your boner, like real, quick yeah. A full gagger right away, yeah, you're, kissing and then she's long is the next step. Whoa slow down the down. Was this type of foreign inevitable or like? customer did the hustler stuff and never went through all the court cases would. It's a human thing would have happened in one hundred yeah. Those Larry Flynt guys are important that they have, move the needle for sure no doubt mean that guy took a bullet for the freedom of expression, whether you like it or not- we've all jerked off to, and if you say you did in your hypocrite, I mean not leads liar, not listening like across the line. That was that
as as we face he certainly did. But my point is: I think that there was a they were like they already done deep throat before hustler right wasn't deep throat when was deep throat. Deep throat was a porn film. That people want to see like a regular for it was like a movie. It was x, same time, wasn't and also a nickname, like a code name for the first yeah. It's like that. No, no! That's post! That's during Watergate what that was, of the insiders in Watergate, and there Nick name was deep throat, but that was because the movie had already been out. Seventy say lane, one of the Nixon Watergate People's throats yeah yeah yeah road was the person who was fun yeah I for look man, see hey people, whoever the fuck was involved with all that stuff has been FBI there, a lot of Amer Bros yeah I think, one guy like television Bros in next guys, like, oh really, because I went to someone who's running for president. I program talking office. Do
right yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure that some of that some of that there's there's a lot of I mean they're, like cops yeah, like military people. You know they're, like a lot of them, are just men guys guys man they probably watch porn. There are probably no deep throat is the you know if you're working for, like one of the biggest policeman is essentially a police organization of a major in English, with a focus on check here, F B, I as law enforcement right yeah. That's what is there shucks Jack, your bros? A lot of them are grown, not not disrespecting it, but that's why they would call it deep throat like if it's a group group of women that are you know from university. Massachusetts, Amherst together call Fuckin' yarning, definitely not going to Kuala Deep Throat yeah that would be contributing to the patriarchy manic. Panic, the movie was in seventy two, so When did hustler start hustler was around seven thousand five hundred and seventy six. Are you
fishing. I don't remember this because of that. I told you about the first one that I had done: collection Smith. This remember like that: Larry Flynt started it in Columbus. The first that's right. That's right! That's right! Yes, right! Yeah man I had to go to the house or office wants us to review porn. There was like an article that they were doing and where your view porn, it was so weird. It was like the weirdest thing and they I forget is like early in the days is the internet right like more than twenty plus trying to everything out! Yeah they're just trying to figure things out and try things out, so you watch the pointer. Over there. I don't remember. I don't remember what it was. I think I was reviewing magazines. I was reviewing porn magazines trying to think that was what it was
or maybe they showed me a little of the porn that they showed me, the magazine remember was doing the same time. Hustler started same here. Nixon ended. Seventy four first deep throat was seventy two. So that's exactly where it came from to do in Stanhope and sounds mom review, bewbs or something yes. Standups reviewed porn on the man show yeah, that's what it was. Stanhopes mom would watch porn and give these fucking whole larious reviews. If it is one of the best things we did, it was really his mom was really funny too she's, like Hinchcliffe you seen Hinchcliffe's mom just said dude. She just stand up, let mom did stand up. He wrote the bits for it and she did him. She had cue cards, she did it killed Tony packed main room and fucking murdered. I'm telling you dude she killed and one she got me with his anger. What it was, but it was fun. It was all shifted, Tony wrote it was funny Shitman and she did it with like authority like she hit. The punch lines like
coach to really yeah. It was great. It was great. She never done anything like that before I hear she murdered at her son show and he brings her up as his mom there. It is right now there's his mom. Ok, that's yeah is she's amazing, I'm telling you dude chief murdered it? Looking over him dude? How? How dare you she was really good man wow, that's cool! I don't wanna play any of it. 'cause it's their stuff, but we you can see it's the video killed twenty five year anniversary episode, two so is DOM my who's. The best at those things work he's the best, no one's better than DOM at those rose shows talking or like something like Hilton where guy doesn't one minute of terrible comedy, and he he's just a master at dissecting people. Ironically, Do is open my character.
How? Yes, there is there razor. That is that I don't know something like that. All he does is so good. He so nervous. If you interrupt me at the back up and start from the start from the beginning, I over and over again he's so good, tell Tony. He should be a regular. He really should show every episode he should be on every. And then whoever the guest is on top of it he's so good. He just so good at talking shit to people, do terrible things and do it in a way. We can't even be mad at him so to kill Tony. No, I didn't see it. You have to watch it when it comes out. It already was on yesterday. It was a good summer auditorium. It's got a standing ovation. I think I don't think you that's what I do standing, wow, dude, you're, an animal. I he came on knock it out from behind that comics how's that work for you to their to blur out your cock and balls. I don't know that something they should deal with, I'm just there for the live show it should be.
Should have like a little a little like a button. You can put little everything that can bounce around your cock. Why doesn't Youtube I don't see a setting to light on the Youtube just so, if you see a cock blurred out, did you see the new release? That said something- and maybe this is people freaking out for no reason. Maybe it's not skipped over people are freaking out about some new terms that they have where they can get rid of any channel that they don't think is commercially viable. Is that the quote they did update their terms of service? But I don't I haven't looked into this. I'm just going off of what I think. I don't know that that's like new in the terms things might've already has been able to do that like Facebook and delete your thing, I think Twitter can delete your account. I think that's kind of an altar. So. They always have the ability to tell you to fuck off. You can't delete your own account, but they can delete yours I mean come on? Do they run the bucking bull run the world? Will facebook they're bigger than the government Facebook's giant,
there is an actual national. The real anywhere there big in the government, there giant freak me out the government of Soccer Berg on TV in China. I think you speaking Andrew and I was so impressed. I was like look at this fucking guy, how smart, is he yeah? He went to the HE school. To I mean that's that's beside the point yeah. I would be doing a lot of people at that school. The can't do it. I know I speak in Mandarin is that's hard. You got if you're learning that as an adult push it and he does it on a talk show and people are laughing. It's really funny so he's on the show and the guy speaking, I think it's Mandarin the understands it yet now you understand it Learn tells a story to the crowd and they're laughing. So you told a joke. He told a joke, Chinese. So you know it already. He knew how to talk in Chinese from Cali learned. No, I think I think his wife is chinese.
He learned either with her, because I've heard of that movie, so I think he's just one of those dudes. This is a little too smart for his own good he's running Facebook, they're trying to fucking do every chance. I course they are. They definitely are, but it's just that the influence that way person, should have. When you are a kid who starts up a social network, you think it is going to connect people that want to. Say some cash out you trying to start making some cash and the next. You know people are using it to shift democracies people are putting filters in there to try to control the content and then people biased against certain political ideologies and more submissive or more permissive of others, and then it becomes really weird What is this a free speech so like? What is this? Is this, like you decide who are you? Who are these people to get the side? Deciding only for money like how did you engineer this, you wait.
You engineer, didn't engineer it specifically to create conflict, but it's our monetary Lee beneficial for you to create conflict and your algorithm is sort of conflict. It's sort of grab, stores conflict right, like if you're, if you engage with things a lot of people like say for sure, if it's a topic that is very, very high, mad 'cause duhamel portion. Of course, if you engage with abortion threads, you fucking your feet will be filled with those oh yeah, that's not too far, yeah sure and then keep coming back the comment, but if here's my question, if your send that instead engages with only positive stuff? Would that make your
your I mean. Is it just what you're engaged with the outdoor events that so I did? This is a test myself. Whatever on you to see how much you too was influencing me. You know without rhythm you book a park in one video go down a whole size yeah, you got a whole timpul kept coming up for broken. You know it's five months after that, after the pockets you did and that it was like so I was like from now on, for for months, only clicking on puppy videos, I'm searching puppy videos. When I see one like of yours or somebody is that I want to see or music something that pops up before I'm like nope, not touching it only searching and clicking on Youtube but puppies. Sometimes it gave me but it was just more and more that chip soldiers coming home when the dogs greeting him and then eventually just start him with only puppy videos so that the algorithm just recognizes what you're interested in yeah. So you can't with the same people that I know, but sometimes it makes you Think this way it makes you get mad about you for talk, someone who's like woke about something.
And you want to be like. I don't really believe you, I don't believe you this mad about this thing. Like somebody made this mad. It doesn't doesn't quite make sense. You know in and so then, what's like, I think, a bit influence to think a certain way by the dumb algorithms, that this kind of you to be upset about things to one of the, about like being into anything left wing or right wing stuff is like when you get into it. It's fun, yeah so people are into it's fun to when, when you got action should and yelling at each other. You know you going to that fucking Facebook every day what the fuck these assholes- but the first amendment today right now, you want to get work with us yeah, but you proved at least on you to that. If you just gravitate towards positive things like most of my you to feed is like mma fights and pool matches, I watch a lot of cool pro pool. Like my my and muscle cars. My my you tube feed is pretty it's it's pretty much what I
look for. I don't look for a lot of. I look to you to for fun. Only try to learn, don't does still hit you with the your like. Ours is by yeah case only does did sneak some gossipy stuff in there some celebrity stuff in there you know weird weird ones get in the don't seem to make sense yeah and why? But I don't use Facebook so what the most evil one yeah use it in a sense that it's connected to my instagram, but I don't actually use it use it. I don't get in there. I don't read it. I don't there's a little controversy this week that Instagram is going to take the likes away from the I heard about that. It's going to take the lights away the term flight path viewing team buys, you can't see how many likes you got for a post. Haven't you see how many views you can see it all, but the I can't see how many likes you got. Save you put up a picture in your picture got forty thousand likes. I can never see that one, and so they can still make their money off it, but everyone else went into a contest. Likes regulation. Is that it's going to drive
advertising dollars into giving money directly to Instagram instead of people. So those fox goes far enough. That's, but if you were a instagram right and you had people making sure tons of money off your platform just by posting things hey. This is my new but cream or whatever the you sell on yeah, and they don't even get a p He said that they got to be like hey. What do we do when we're spending a million dollars a month in fuqing bandwidth, probably way more than that? Actually Ann? You have way more than that. They have videos and show it to you could upload videos. It's got to be millions and bandwidth for every month. An then I get. None of that I get it though people go there, they get their mind on their ads. It's do they start monetizing, but you'll be able to show like if you have well! You know a ago if you have a screen shot of your phone do that. I also think that it's going to de incentivize people to like photos exactly because you don't see making a difference.
Right right, who's made more money than those but doctors because of Instagram like if you look like the percentage of like uptick in revenue yeah I but doctors. Guys who just specialize in blood jobs better. It's Instagram made them. They put them on the map. This dudes out there with but Door Garth Brooks Robbins Dupatta prescriptions and that's certainly the money in but dazzled best dude. You know, there's a theory that that I think is true, that women are just hotter these days, because they're always on the verge of being on Instagram, so even to go to the. Market the make up on the put nation. Nice clothes on they're always looking their best because they want to a friend they might get upload it. This is a tough time to be frumpy there are you know if your gal there's a lot of competition out there and there's a lot of while these hoes go for it? Okay, don't they go for it. They are pulling their panties aside and at thirty eight percent of their pictures. You know
and there's a lot lot of strong competition out there. Now they change in the bar, and this just by the way for sure one of the reasons why prostitution is illegal, Why? One of the reasons why prostitution is illegal? It would completely flip relationships on its head. If guys didn't need- to have a relationship to have sex. Just sex and relationships were only last week and go no get sex from a woman for money just like get a hand job or just like you can get a massage rather than get a hand job. I give you I can. How can I give massage? Well, they can't massage your dick well. If they did they could they would be so people would change. What they want out of a relationship yeah. It would be different. You you would you do would be. It would be way like a Any women are not saying that all women are like this, but only woman, any woman
that is sexually manipulative like she won't. She withhold sex from a man if he doesn't do certain things away. That goes away through that paid by friends in bang, cock, white people in Bang cock. They were like. They don't play those regular women here but non working woman, but they don't play that game right because they doesn't exist. We can just walk down the street right like a Bodega New York we were just find a woman yeah, so this like I'll make him, wait that what it's like shut up with that yeah you're interested just go for the prom a shame for the girl. That's the problem! If there no shame for the girl, if you didn't, if no one care. If she hooked up with you on a one night stand, it turns out she felt her cousin a month ago. No one cared, that's almost gone, it's almost gone yeah. It is almost gone right. It's changing, yeah! Well conversations. People didn't talk about this shift in where kids get to figure it out on your own, so casual now, dude, nobody taught you about jerking off, nobody taught about drinking nobody taught you what to do in a relationship. Those are the three most
confusing fuckin' things, just guessing yeah, guess kind of like a PSA, real quick for older children who are going to start drinking your parents, never going to teach you about alcohol use, there's a thing called coasting. When you have a few drinks, you can switch to water. If you feeling drunk you're gonna, throw up. If you keep drinking like a child, your child right? So you don't get how to do it yet you gonna coast, one water, yeah. It would be her peers and you have a great time. Don't have too many don't have if you going to drink, and I don't advise anyone under twenty one to drink. 'cause that's illegal, but if I was going to advise I would say: have two drinks: don't have more twenty two will fuck you up. Man don't be that guy you're for sure going to get drunk, but not too limited to draw. If you're sixteen years old, maybe sixteen two shots. Jack Daniels will put you in a fucking goofy mood let's say wherever you're at, if you're feeling good just stop for awhile stop for awhile, that's good right there. You still got more going down to the problem. Is you lose your inhibitions right? They go out
window and then you have a fun. You want to have more fun. You Coca COLA, shot shot, shot, shot, alright, yeah next thing: you know you got burnt on the table and she's got his butt crack your underneath that he's porn asshole because you can have two or three of those in four minutes and get blasted and then suddenly you're like what happened. Your main alcohol right to the one shot. You feel it like like instantly like woo you're, ready to throw up. You still got two more shots that haven't hit you yet boo. That's what's up you know what else is a partial fears even be with me at the improv tonight at one thousand and thirty, so that show fockers will be great? Oh yeah, it's going to be good time. How this shows it good. He is on the first show. Oh really yeah fun times can ask my special yeah, probably doing my special yes, which did you choose the, yes, we talked a lot about us, I'm so glad yeah, the back 'cause tell everybody the whole the whole.
It went on a little journey there just figure out where to find a venue I went. I was it's a lot about Judaism, my upbringing. You know I couldn't do that. Comedy club funny be done with that shirt. You know. So that's what I've been working on for awhile yeah, it's been a couple of years right, but I got some longest one two one slash two years and uh, but it's all So the first one that you did like a theme and it's essentially so what you did was like, there's a lot Does it do that I've never been to Edinburgh, but that faster right is like That's how it is right, and it's like a lot of people who do themes becoming so you decided to do a theme, but to do this theme with american style stand up yeah, that's exactly it dude yeah yeah! That's where I went two years I went with my storytelling show one year and then I was like my plan was to go, show them without affecting American. Our was, which is my last special. Just like hey. Here's just stand up. You fucking fools trying to do some fucking hot
thing. We like tying it all together, but there not funny right. They do like twenty minutes of on funny, and so I was like Everybody here I'm giving you an american hour, and it was just that and then the the plan was, and it became two years later, was, like I'll do one of your stupid fucking theme hours, but I'm not going to do it when I'm just talking serious between that's right, the keyless! So they do. They really do what I don't get it. I don't get why you have to. I get the feeling I don't get why you have to stop being for did you see that all see Hannah Gatsby? This is your life. She was goes off and that then yeah. I thought that was her name. I thought her name is Rebecca. Shows, don't panic ask affect it up? Thank you didn't see it. I didn't see it like that by no salt life was like in the room they liked him. It was like pretty powerful 'cause. That's. It goes at n, Brocher, will see for five shows a day for five days in a row and she's. So but her thing, a lot of is not some of it's funny with a really not funny? Yes, she replies in England that was like legit, powerful stuff.
We'll talk, you're, copping, emotion about a lot of them is just forcing in I've seen people do. Story, teller, surely forcing in some like lesson: it's, not there. It's ok, you just have a fun story right right, right forcing and lessons is gross yeah. I always like the moth, which I them off but like they will do the math months telling series, like a d did one on there about about. Maybe look at an AIDS. Well, I just don't know and about his aunt or but usually it was like comics did. It was just funny and then, when normals did it, they would like they would have something that we like. That's not just the deer lost my watch today I lost my innocence boy, so they just got over dramatic yeah and that's what they do in Denver allowed. Some of them are really good right, but that theme thing was that
I was like. I want to do that better when you say american style stand up. I almost wish I was an american stand up, so I could fuckin' wholeheartedly agree with. You were just fits in your head, it's, but I wish I was an actual american stand up, so I could have a lobby with non opinionated point in this 'cause. When I hear people say you like America is not with the best ten, I'm sorry but you're outside it's fine they're doing great. They started behind us, I'm sure a lot of you are out there in New Zealand in Florida in other countries, Florida in America. Us Alea, anywhere you're at there's, good and there's there's some of your genius and some you amongst the best. The world doesn't disqualify you from being among the best in world, but if you want to say that there's no, a greater number of hilarious, Fuchs Female, and male in America way disproportionate number you're out of your. Never mind the great
This ones are here. Out of your mind is not even close. It's not even there's no race. Yeah. Presuming you're, not about starter yeah. Exactly there's a lot of great comics other places, but overall they're just like Take us completely out of the equation. Take our friends out of the equation yeah its place. It's filled with assassins yeah, so why, last years this is a wild wings, buildup bucking rebels. Well, especially now with the internet, I mean you can become a legit national act with no ones. Help like Andrew, like Schultz, is doing yeah. He is doing everything everything through Youtube, he's selling out theaters he's murdering it You don't need anybody anymore, so these fucking kill. There's like him all these assassins. He turned a corner through people talk about it and like not about draw, but just about like this material a jazz working at it. So funny me he's a smart dude, but the thing is like these guys. Their their blossoming. Now, there's a bunch of 'em and they're all over the place. Yeah yeah!
There is a great time to be a comic there really is. It really is that people get so worked up too, which is also fun. It's just a fun time over people definitely get more mad than you ever had before, but they also get happier that you're willing to push the envelope yeah 'cause, there's a little bit danger again, we talked about this bike and dangerous. Again, it's great. You said that to me on the phone once I'm never forget that I was driving home feel like I love it. I might get written off. If you say the wrong thing like think, I can go a little darker and they're like no good I'd like wow, so he's not being, though, will never be written off to each other. Exactly were fine, but that's the reason why we can kind of we have freedom that maybe people in for T for short tv show I don't have to you: don't have any freedom, they don't have any freedom well, not, but also right
take away a level of money we can make, but like they can't take away the ability to do stand up unless every club says we will, but you or even the work out clubs on have you can you still do stand up right, which is like the main thing? Yes yeah and you just have a few clubs it'll be like it will never gonna to return for anything. He says but yeah. If you and also the fans like, if you did something I mean it, would have to be so horrible shuddering, real life. Yeah, you have to murder somebody yeah. Yeah. Do you think OJ? Could you stand up for sure? Oh, my god, how do we make that happen? We could get tired right form, Hobor, show for sure, naturally charismatic, I think, he's friends with norm. Yeah I think Norm Mcdonald. Maybe I shouldn't say friends like norm knows him and I think norm has actually talked to him about doing his pod. Really, yes, do you know, epic, that would
that would be crazy. I want to show you something to stand road along time ago that we talked about this if norm had if norm, coached him Oj Simpson on his podcast, hey juice norm. Has this norm has whatever the fuck the opera? sort of having a filter is, is not having no filter he's just got like like weird crazy. Shitz got come out of his mouth. He doesn't give a fuck. Did you say the digits, the Sacha Baron Cohen, with Oj not are you going to watch it every soldier yeah? I know I know I didn't see all the best. I think it would be just as italian God is like if you got it what's really yeah yeah. I know it's a had some syste women. You know I wish I could kill them, but I guess I can look at like other like I am, and I'm Well, he gets him. Oh he's just so convincing he's so ball, Z, yeah ability that shift in front of right in front of those people. They don't even know, what's happening, yeah and they've signed up
yeah here read. This is what I mean by like they can't ever take it all away from us 'cause. You have clubs like this the stand. This is when I got one of my ear ages, but you may be thinking about calling the stand. Posting hateful messages in emailing hate speech to us. We, respond to such irresponsible protest, despite what you feel about our issue, fear? We have the right to book or hire anyone, regardless of their views on religion, race or politics, or he's a comedian, a performer just because you view his creations as something that is not humorous, but hate speech, that is your opinion. Harassing our establishment will not deter us from booking already to perform at the stand. Please refrain from gauging our staff further more organized protest over a over a something that is out of our control Is not only morally wrong but as viewed is a crime. We will find out What special interest group! This is an press charges if this continues. That is all That's a public post! That's what everyone else is backing
sounds like well, it's a tough time right now. You will always have a few clubs like that. Let's get the fuck away, we're not doing that, so you will always have a place to put. Thank God. Thank God. Yeah thank Odin praise, Zeus, yeah yeah I mean we need to. We need people like the store. We need places that you know in some. Club that used to recognize that I used to admit you would do this. They used to like right, take full letters about Paul Mooney, complaining about and she was like what did you do and she was like call Paul, read it to him and then decide if he wants the letter or not tell the people who complained that he's going to be severely punished. That, like we did, we would call Paul we're just laugh about. It was really get rid of God love this and we read it back as you want to say from my dad yeah and then and then we call the person would like he's been docked for two weeks. He won't be here: here's four free tickets to the
story number they be there when he was there again any. Of course he was never told not to show up well, my god, but like they're idiots back then to its hello. Serious, always there's always people never going down. You know what I love looking at yelp reviews when I find someone else like a one star for a restaurant. That I know is good or client one star and then I'll read the review. Let me check out this dudes profile. It's full full of having, like daddy everything, sucks everything sucks. Every waiters rude. Every fucking food is cold warehouse more like the off White House, wash it some people are twatt yeah they're. Just you know. Did you see that New York Times Review? They gave the Fuckin' Brooklyn Steakhouse that we love what the hell is. It called Peter lugers. They gave Peter Lugers one star, one star that member we just went. There yeah. It was great. It was amazing, my god it's so do those those potatoes. They gave it
star, Mart the three stars that you like. We maybe some happened. I don't know it's smart because look if you're provocateurs, Journalist- and I know how much you love trolls, yeah, The devil said he took like one of the most delicious restaurants of all time, and he may a star rating: it's either that or he's a moron. So either he's really clever kind of or he's gotta be a toss up on top of Google. When you search Peter Luger Review too so now it's spiders I Can I start by Tatiana Lucas, take us a booking to produce certain sensations, and then I don't know. Well, it's a very, very popular restaurant right, there's a giant waiting list. Last time we were there. We we will. Luckily, Easel then, and had a greasing palms, but it's yeah can suites by India's went went is in town, he was like get a reservation. I get knocked around him and you can get one so we had. My manager assistant calls. They were part of Obama's staff will be there, my yeah, they said we could do three hundred and fifteen, and that's it. Oh, my god yeah I heard of Obama's dad yeah, that's hilarious
yeah! That's my larry! The food! There is fucking amazing that so far one star restaurant. You can't not one start at the troll you're. Absolutely right, that's more than he's! Not just towards the end, but he's one of those writers there's certain writers that are just trying to be assholes with everything they do. They love being assholes that love accentuating, live the art form of being asshole, an art form of being an Arctic. Glass, an with good food, you know how to say the you know the right words in there right order would just sounds juicy and pops and makes you seem terrible: but we doing that over something like Peter Lugers, but you lose that all that one star means that's not what one star means. What Onstar means to go in your face. You go to the olive garden in the fucking guy works behind the counters heroin problem. Twenty stars zero then give it a one or zero start I haven't even there's no zero! Sorry! This one is the lowest, not
that's a photo shop course. That's not really! Looking at the zero stars, it's a Photoshop features it's more, showing that this guys troll in and he would look we're talking its gradient he's a smart balance uncover, and then we uncovered him. Let it should work. He knows he's doing up. If you want to make a fucking splash in the restaurant review business in twenty nineteen. That's why you do fellow work negative I share in your mouth yeah I mean he's talking about the like not being flavorful your lawyer, walking about sucking my dropped it on the floor I picked it up on the way. It's still a two star he's It's all good he's, Bullshiting and they're all buying it hook, line sinker or like a bass. Right now like this, he absolutely got us. He got us hooking the jaw,
I'm fighting against the drag it so much more fun to be angry. It's like well! Let me finish telling my special, oh you're, special, ok, so since it was this whatever the steam thing I was like, we should do in a center got the right place. I was like this works because it's like a like a performance space that was synagogue and they don't want me to do it 'cause my material and then we kept trying to find new synagogues. It would let me do it the one that would be good for comments and then also that would let me do it and they were all like no way something like the of August. Okay MIKE, yes, and they're like no. My dad is survived by could see what they want. That we want. No, I think you can say whatever the fuck you wanna say in front of him. Your dad is a fucking hardcore survivor and this is a real thing. You know, I mean the Holocaust was a real thing. It's also to deal with it as a people, but yeah. That's that's the thing it's like that's one of the rare things were all only Jews can talk about it and-
That way I mean anybody could talk about anything right, but only Jews can talk about the hall cost from a position of hey. That was my family. That was, That was my dad who was in the fucking concentration camp. You can give some seriousness too The only people wanna do it the only the people that can say that that that is my family by the Are you only so if anybody mean got fully out The I mean not only did our meat there's plenty of am going up to Glendale, but I not only did the Armenians have a genocide, but there was a denial of their genocide like a serious denial of the genocide more and you want it. Yeah yeah like open and recent, not that not that long ago, people were still denying the armenian genocide. Yet so that's a very touchy one with that man. I did
know about until Manny Gamburyan told me about it. Yeah they hit the Turks. Well, they hate the people who massacred their ancestors. They also just hit the Turks we think so yeah. At this point they probably have anything to wear that affect all year. Is Turkey not turkey to them? that one of the countries like Japan is Nippon right. Like don't like it. Japan's work is a few countries. I think Greece is not Greece, I don't believe they call it. Greece, Israel, use royal. It's close enough. It's close in Greece is not great. I don't believe Greece is. Leave your clothes yeah, that's close enough, but Iceland's, probably not Iceland. They have a whole different language, maybe right yeah. What is Iceland, but what is what is Greece in their language? What's the what's? The word. I might have made, that up with see. If I made it up. Let's see well my brain is falling apart. Lately
anyway, my special is vegetarian hits February a hard question to Google is really what what what is grease called in Greece, like that song, Greek, Greek. I don't think it's not that's not that okay do but so What is the the real name of the country, Greece, ok! So let's try and Turkey thing, and it's too close to Thanksgiving turn off for safety turn on your heart light. What is what is? What is the country, Greece, called in the put, is the real name of the country, Greece, the real name of the countries. What is it the ancient or modern name of the country is hello, sir hello, hi, okay, we're different as the Hellenic Republic wow.
That's better than copper stuff. It's not something you put on an axle, it's not something mixed with dancing yeah. Greece is so weird it's so that's better Hellenic Republic. Probably so so that's one! We fucked that one up, I'm pretty sure we fuckedup turkey, I don't think they called Turkey. Turkey, Germany is Deutschland Right, Deutschland, yeah, yeah yeah sure I adopted it. Ok, so this is the adopted, its official name known as known in English as the Republic about the Butterball industry, bribed him this probably some cross promotion with Kellogg's. That's hilarious. Remember Kazakhstan got mad at all eg, real mad? Not real Madrid furious Sirius. Is making. So everybody happier that Borat movie movies one of my favorite movies ever That was one of the best of the best comedies good. It's so good.
There is so funny so good. You go back and watch it today, like what, in the fuc my I've been seen in awhile and again he just so good at fucking with people he's. So good at keeping a straight face. While all this madness is going out like remember when, in the bed bag. It was handing it to one of the people in the house. Georgia. Remember that the end. Oh my my god. It's like you know. He felt that he fell asleep in that house in Georgia, Plantation House he's trying to get rid of racist around them, and then he fell asleep 'cause. They were drinking wine. There was like a wind plantation, he fell asleep, but they were like he's going to wake up he's not going. Characters in the computer with my God and then it didn't want to deal with and he woke up and he was just like right into it. Our excel was that so he Oh my god, that's a yeah got blasted woke up drunk still realize who was Borat yeah, that's funny man.
Donald Trump back in the day when the Og movie, you made a movie that was only available U K, I actually bought a special vhs player just to play it really yeah, because it was one of those ones that was used to be two eight. Oh two formats note Vhs to do used to be two formats Vhs to is a form of the use over the? U K, there's a format that we use here and it did not compatible and You have to get either get like a universal player, one that plays all formats or you had to get a separate one. So I went and got one that plays both, but I specifically just so I can move it to Allie G Tv shows two used to be able to buy the tv show blind Ehs. All those are great ones. England, yeah I'm telling this story is great. It's so silly, especially if you're high. It's really funny. It's really fun, and I heard people tell me sorry about my dude. Don't talk to Maine, I fucking laughed entirely through this movie. It's
your if you're a stoner? This is an outstanding movie. What is it called Ali? in the house is from two thousand and two dude. It's so good. It's a lost gem, it's one of those at the dude from the office. I don't remember that did those within the White Guy, probably yeah, maybe I don't remember office yeah. I think it was a hitchhiker's guide either way. God SAM are talking. It's fucking great. It's fucking great! It's really funny man really funny. Alright, there's a dog! has balls is ridiculous. Is amazing movie, yes, got yeah god. That was funny some funny.
They call that the worst that was another one started. They called it the worst movie of all time and then finally, watching like this is legitimately Shet shet. So like relapse another one, if you watch it today, you'd be laughing hard specially if you're a stoner when the baby was in the building records, swing it around the room did he like lands of the house in like the desert somewhere, it's it's kind of show to be over and it's like you still going off, and then I would greeting a bad but rip torn is over the gritty and one of the sign says: why is this movie still going? It shows crazy. Not show is amazing. That was an amazing shot damn well. It was the best
like I do with you, never seen him like that Jack says he took him to arrest Scott, damn yeah. There's a lot of people taken serious rests on tv back then hello. You know you go how about what's his face from the Dammit the x experience. What is, his name that does the fuckin' the guy. Who would do the pranks on people and put make up on and chit get there Jamie Kennedy experiment, Jesus Christ, they might not get in Jamie Kennedy out of my mouth weed I've tolerance the whole month. My tolerance is through the floor. Yeah. I have nothing. I was smart this time I wanted to work on, like a commission like fourteen percent. This is for whatever, whatever that, God Damn Kevin Smith hits obliterate all day. Jamie Kennedy had a great show. Yeah Jamie can experience. Experiment so was experiment yeah. That was a great show. He had some holy, how the one we talked, those
to be engaged dancers. Number. Some good stuff guys it was like he was a sleazy producer and he was telling these guys they were going to be in this new show called guys gone nuts and then eventually it got further down the line, made him dance and stuff. But then eventually, I further down the line where they're going to have to do gay stuff and they were like he was getting him on film, saying how much gay stuff they rule is it? Was it adamantly ridiculous and he's this sleazy promoter. Treating them like their, you know, male prostitutes, it's very funny. It was very funny another one, that's real! These are not active. Member got ahold spend to wipe his feet. No, I don't looking here spanking her Saudi This is somebody got so wholesome as an actor for no. No, no
also no idea, this was happening yeah he wiped the guys feet because he thought that was like in my country is supposed to wipe his feet and his friend who used to open mix with him ohmygod so husband, didn't know. Yeah, just football make up the accent, the makeups amazing and then he's wiping his feet. And then he just like wow those guys who put that crazy, latex shit on your face when they can give you a fake nose and fake cheeks, like you can't tell you can't tell specially not some with vision, problems yeah if they're looking for it yeah, you ever hear that Jim Carrey after man in the moon. No, you got those people didn't make up for him to look like many comma and Xuda right, Tony Clifton, right, yeah yeah. He got them to make him up as whatever and that the rumors that I've heard so obviously I've no idea, I love Lotus, put him up in just make up, and then he drove a cab around and drove fairs around just so we could hear what people actually say when they don't know it's Jim Carrey in the room
Oh wow yeah yeah, I could see when you become something like Jim Carrey. It's gotta be weird as fuck. He probably wanted to go a little vacation with a fake face. Yeah yeah. If it was really easy to do it didn't take hours to apply yeah. You probably want to do that. Just to see everybody treats you just be normal. That's great look good idea, that big, he can't go anywhere in the world. He's also now he's become some new thing right yeah? It's not really a actor anymore. He paints and talks about things an he's into psychedelics way in like everything he talks about is like he doesn't mention the psychedelics he's still on stuff he's another sonic, the Hedgehog movie, I think, he's still doing stuff tv show recently to what is it sonic? The hedgehog voices in the bad guy, the notice of an actual human yeah yeah. Okay, also it's a live moving yeah. I got a big controversy, but trailers came up to
and he was on a tv show. Here are the nurse a movie: they were mad, They can't be happy that they're making Sonic into a movie and getting Jim Carey one of the biggest actors in the world, the technet seriously yeah when, when with the nerds, be okay, when they hear movies coming out, they never okay with anything that man the first time and Michael Keaton they were? I don't think remember, were when there was one of the biggest con Firstly, I ever heard about a role was when they were going to have Tom cruise play in interview with a vampire really yeah when he was the lead Lestat wives and write a book and rice did not want Tom cruise to play the stock. This is like this super intense character in these excellent books. You read those books, they're very good arm, and she, you know, had this vision for what her vampire king character was like that when she won't the vampire she wanted, someone who just more depth in intelligence and Joe
someone who had more layers and she felt like Tom Cruise is like top gun. You don't I mean he's like color of money, but that little crazy Fuckin' act is Azov. Was he can access fuckin' Azov and he was really good in that movie, Fucking nailed it like when he's like an angry vampire in that movie and he's yelling at that little girl. You, like holyshit, like I'm by in this madness he's he was excellent, is good for a long oh he's he's he's fucking, crazy asfuck, but he's great he's got to be only solution. Sinker sinker with Fuckin' Sci FI region, but our religion, but his, but that's what it is yeah, but his acting is still. He can go for it. Man he in those those sub was at edge of to It was it yes, I'm wondering if it over and over and over again, people are given up on for the movie or two before and in that movie came out. Nobody saw it, but he was so good, so good. That movie is,
so good. Of the most underrated signed the same day over over again and every time. I'd be like no, because that would do this and then, if they would cover that, but yeah yeah, okay, yeah right yeah, it's amazing I've been on rabbit holes for Youtube. I've been on a rabbit hole of Groundhog day. So like same thing in the same day over and over again, and one of them was how long did Bill Murray spend day. After day, it was a total amount of time. What was the total amount? They think it's around 'cause. They would like the death here to do this many times, especially with bowling a perfect game. All these different things. They said about thirty years, wo of living the same day over and over again You don't know is used to think yeah and then you would do everything yeah, as I was getting older one of the things I thought was like. Why do why do I have this expectation that at some point in time, person stops learning and growing like I never expected. People in their 60s
like being better people, an learning more and yeah they're done, whoever that guy is he's done. 'cause people do stop right, but but So my thought was like: why do I have these expectations for people instead of just being open minded? I all assume that I tried it. A certain age they're done they throw in the towel, but it but you do meet some people who don't do that who are like taking an art class, some reason: Mama grandmother. That's like I'm learning, archery and said: well, that's cool when, ordain was fifty eight. He started getting seriously fucking into Jiu Jitsu like seriously digits. I was like look at you, mother fucker. I love it. Well, that's how I mean like it and went for taken lessons lessons every day for an hour and then training and rolling with people for an hour. Every day not really seven days a week like Heroin like how he was it used to. Due to the heroin he got addicted you just to all. In order to six packed got really act. Do jacked is a
wish him walking down the street in ITALY full, Six pack. You look at it like? This? Is the guy that I used to know that was on high. He was on a high cholesterol medication. He was on Staten's, cousin's diet. He's on the road drinking wine eaten this and that and fatty foods and a lot of sugar and just drinking whatever the he wants right now and that is, and he got fat. You know I'm not fat like a big fat guy, but he definitely developed a little belly then dole, yeah? That's what I'm saying it looks like Dan Bilzerian dude. He got in jujitsu and completely transformed. Body lost all the weight stop eating sugar starting in stopped eating. Carbs start eating, really healthy, cut way back on the drinking and develop the God dam legitimate. Six pack super healthy is going to live forever. I think that's a that's! A impact. The bottom one is a solid one: oh yes right! So you got one million two hundred and thirty, four thousand five hundred and sixty seven, it's a seven pack. People
I'd like to say eight pack, but I don't ever see a separation in that bottom. One, that's gotta be like some kind of turtle person. You know. Yeah yeah. It's like a lot more. It's the tan line point it looks like the dude transformed his fucking body completely strong allowed deck root. There, though I'm not happy I mean it's low hanging up, but I think he likes bought those shorts like twenty pounds ago now? Maybe it could be that we get that bowl? Where did I get that ball? Oh well, who brought that in? Oh Dave Leduc is able to David. Duke is a let's way champion he's he fights in the brutal form of stand up striking with a head butt and they really suck each other on the way down and forget that thailand- probably he got it or burn in I think it was MAR Myanmar, Burma, yes,
They play these games. He showed us the volleyball game. Yeah, that's that's one of the walls yeah! Oh, my god, easy right. They they get above the net with with just your leg, yeah I it's and they play football barefoot. Most of the time I saw a guy play one on three from oh, my god. He was like amazing, good yeah, and these are as we just like laughing about it. They were trying to like fun, keep spiking spike sit down with his foot. Yeah my second day in Yangon you're, seeing the stuff like how are doing this and barefoot on concrete. I see. It only on a dirt floor that they're barefoot. That's a lot of door here for this one yeah, while it's changed since last, that is Christ, it's so cool. It's one of the coolest guys ever seen well, they keep going have circles. Are they just get going and like yeah? I do the kick this well, I mean I'm sure you talk about it. They did. This is fine. I get that, but when it goes over your head doing this yeah they hit this straight and go out of pop it right back up right. I've tried it one hundred times at best. I can do is kick it that way. I think it's one of those things that
your body doesn't develop, throwing their legs around like that. It's really hard to do. That was the thing about Thai Kwando, like when I was teaching you would get people that were like in their 30s It was really hard for them to learn it really hard for them to get good. You can quit their leg around. But if you get this little kids when they like five, six, a let down, teach him how to whip their legs in things here oh my god, they're so good. First, three Oh that's the one I sent the one. I don't know if it's the one you saw, but this is you can use your head one verse three guy well, this seems like these guys are fucking it up. They're, also American, so they're Americans that are trying to play airplane goodnight. God look at him. He up how you fuckedup those are doctor helmet. No, it's a bandana. This is a wild game.
Oh man, oh my god, haha you got beaten, you're, not better than everyone yeah stupid, but not be the best killer game. Yeah Oh man, I if you can learn that how to whip your legs around, like that, when you like, eight or nine years old, as you get older, you'll you'll maintain that sort of leg, dexterity yeah. I sent one of those back. I have one of those in my apartment- oh really, yeah! I send it back. I took it from you mean more to Thailand and then I was like. I need to send this to myself, because I can't get back yeah and then like. I would get there in two. I'm like no, I don't need their imax lower than that. I could have said what's cheaper there, like I'm in a week, like. Is it up? I'm in no rush- I won't be there for like months and we get there in three months for like four dollars and I'm like yep, that's the one.
No rush. That's the deal three months for four hours, so slow is by mule or something- and I was like I'm not there, so go ahead, so many mule did away by mule, meaning someone stuffed in the whole fucking box. Huh, it's a weird game, that's one! Where, like you, need a certain civic kind of athleticism. Yeah like someone is an outstanding basketball player or a football player. You're not going to be good at that right. That's not just pure athleticism! That's weird leg, dexterity skill on my God: they do it. I mean you think about like what I can throw a lot of crazy kicks, I can't do what those guys are doing? No, I don't know how to do that. I can kick over my head. I could do a split chit, still yeah. You have to learn how to jump up and you been down, and you were just having a look that up, but it's up and split in the I think you don't to be courageous. Flexible to it, looks like you got to be crazy, flexible,
I can watch in their legs, fly out. There's no resistance at all, but most people have a lot of resistance. When you try to lift your leg up, who doing it all the time all the times yeah? What are you doing? Your special? I don't think I'm thinking about it, good, I'm right now, just writing yeah just enjoying performing and when I get the the bug when it feels like this is there I want to you know I was thinking about actually talked about this with Malcolm Gladwell. In the last podcast I was talk, I was quoting Jessel Neck adjusted neck. He has a three year process. He does it in the clubs just around LA develops an hour. Then he takes it on the road in clubs and then he takes on the road the next year in theater. So it's a three year process like that might be the way to go. Yeah Louis had that with, but not in the three years, just like in the way I'm like. You know, he's doing a month, one month for months he's doing. He was doing new special in a year yeah, which I guess you could have. That's all you did and you just really dug into it, but I think things need time to cook
also the I find there's sometimes where it's like. I want to tell a lot New York he's like the best. I was just saying that to Malcolm Gladwell, to really he was the guy that I said. There's one person who's like out of super elite level where he doesn't get enough love. It's Dave Attell and it's like you, see him on a on a regular basis. You know, like she says, crisis on not as on on a level above even the highest level people yeah I don't know super dedicated to only his craft, his zero promotion in him, yeah and so he does say he is a topical bit he's not thinking like well, I don't have time to work on this for three weeks until people don't know the reference anymore right, because I gotta work on a special he's, not thinking that way. He's like. Oh, I got three weeks with this fucking topic right, so he it's a harder than anybody and then, when it people like starting to lose the Murray of the of the topic. You just move on yeah, please cut himself on, though right and like doing new cool things he's also guy says the best to
If someone got better when they got sober, yeah yeah the best example right 'cause, nobody else does right, everybody else gets sober and then they get serious and it's like oh yeah, exactly against the human body. Take anymore come on. That's a beautiful thing about podcast to one of the beautiful things is that you don't have to like ideas that you have that aren't funny you don't have to bring up to. The final progress yeah yeah they fit for that yeah. Just remember, there's like a pinpoint time after hex or a lot of people were trying to do it's on stage that man's thing yeah, you see, ' Doing that you like. Ok, it's fine! If you have that, but like I just always feel like why you not being funny pushing that right. Instead of it. Honestly, I don't have the same problem with him: hey how dare you it's just like! It's so much, not funny, but but a lot funny, two men a lot. Yes, some funny, and you have to also take
in the context of the time right, if you were alive back then and watching it back, then it would be really funny you know when I saw him was like ninety, the yeah you gotta put concerts the time. Hi Jabber got it Well, I saw him in like First of all, my son was like eighty eight, but were you laughing you heard- or we just like wow yeah right on man, both ok, both I was last great and I was saying wow this guy's he's out there he was like failing against capitalism and fuckin' Tiffany in the mall, with Jimi Hendrix. Had this crazy bit like Tiffany like think. I'm alone now running the Jimi Hendrix at the mall. He just had all these like counterculture bits a lot of it was mocking Riddick those trends in american culture. You just had some very
very unique takes on things that didn't necessarily fit with our idea. What we thought comedy was like he never thought like, oh yeah, that's you make comedy out of that too. That's what he would do, so he was like make comedy out of like weird ideas like anti war ideas, and he was doing stuff that other people weren't doing and it it change people's opinion, a comedy because they something about when Hicks would go on stage. You would feel like why Richard Jeni said this to me, leveraging back then with the master whose group he said every time I see him. I say why don't I write more she'll like that? That's what Jennie said to me. Well, after he saw Hicks, he is always think. Oh, I don't want to write things 'cause. He was so deep. Hixson very was ingenuous. Jenny was just funny. He was just writing funny thing. He would just wear with some master looks at somebody else who's like. Oh, I can't be more like that. It's like damn you're, not happy
call. Jenny was never happening. Oh yeah, good point. He was a guy that uhm, for whatever reason thought that he had to be like Seinfeld with the television show. Or Jim Carrey with a movie career? He had to be that and He was like the most probably under a she did stand up and my my my opinion, one of most underappreciated ones ever, but definitely from his era. Meanwhile he has all the specials. You can go watch you watch how good the guy wasn't when I saw him live again in the context of the time, because I saw him live in like Jenny first yeah. First, I was eighty eight, but I saw him a bunch times, but I saw him murder at the comedy works in Montreal, If you know that room is like a hundred people max right of any place on yes room upstairs, he let that place on fire. Remember and it was doing a bit about some guy trying to sell my car. Some car salesman selling the car- and I was like this- is the most standard, Blah premise: how could he extract so much comma,
out of someone selling him a car, but it was like a murderous bit just crushing just punchline after after punchline, Bang, Bang, bang like fuck. But again it's like I've said this so many times about him. You got to be. There in that moment, stand up on. Tlc is maybe percent as funny as it is. When you see it live, maybe the war. There were often because they're there, it's funnier, it's funnier when you're there right comedy club is the funniest. Theater second arenas arena just gets crazy. The renas are weird it's like you're laughing, but it's also like quality fuckin' people are here like this weird feeling to it an extra energy to it yeah, watching it. So you watch Richard James Daniel. I didn't think it was funny, listen to me, first of all, where you have to be the room and second of all we're in twenty nineteen right. This is one thousand nine hundred and ninety right. Well,
I mean the first time I watched him was. I think it was ninety two or ninety three. On on stage at the comedy works, but the first time I saw physically. I was an open, my that was in eighty eight. I paid to see him at catch a rising star in Cambridge. And I was a half filled rooms like a Thursday night. You know he was like a guy who had been on its night show and I knew him 'cause. He had been uh nice. Your comic- and I was a comic I was you know, maybe a weekend or something like that and I paid to go, see him to me. My friend sat in the front row. I made fun of me excellent, but he was great. He was great and he was like so casual and loose with eggs punchlines and I remember thinking God like this fucking guy he's got it made, he's just travel around the country, doing stand up and he he didn't think that way,
He wanted to be a movie star. You look at people, you, like you know you would have killed for your life. You're upset about it right now, yeah you'll feel like twenty years ago. Oh my god. I mean for ever dude what I wanted to do. From the time I was a beginner in one thousand nine hundred and eighty eight was. I wanted to make a living doing comedy yeah. That's that's about everything. Is gravy everything's, exactly it's crazy unless I've lived in a shitty apartment building only. It's about. She apartments is bugs and crime roommates. That's it. You get used to everything you do it's fine everything, it's really fine. It takes like a week and they used to it prison. Maybe but everywhere else different. But if you got freedom, if you're in a place that as long as you're, not your life not being threatened in your fucking, things aren't install and all that other stuff is mostly bullshit. If your house has two bedrooms or four you get used to it used to everything man. Three thousand dollars theory. Everything over eighty eight thousand dollars doesn't yet does not improve your happiness, your your might happen. It does improve with
more money on two hundred and eighty eight thousand. That makes sense. Then it's like a new Lamborghini gives you the same happiness is a new. You know. Bmw as well gonna fix a problem, the thing about a lamborghinis. You can't leave it anywhere. You know the thing about those. If you got a stupid car like that, you don't just pulled up to the mall and park anywhere. You want, you feel weird, you know things I was gonna. I was driving on the highway. This guy number Gini in his driveway, but he didn't have it in his garage just had it parked in his driveway and was kind of like sticking out in the street people are we is bio oil well in Malibu and like what a weird thing Malibu is where these houses that are on the fucking highway, like
the coast highway, it's a highway and there's a door. That's five feet from a speeding car yeah. I don't have to get the cart into those driveways. Do they barely get in there without diet them how to go flying by one sixty and they're and they're just turned off right now and there's a ton of bars on that yeah? I was gonna at ST. Well, I mean you if you have never, I have allegedly never driven drawn ever you've, never driven drunk in the street and you see cars flying MEL Gibson? He set the tone. Follow his footsteps that he wanted her crazy a rent right. Are you sure, yeah care to. We thought it was funny. Well, it's just The worst one was the voice mails that the wife, hot tub
the one who are out of stock market dark yeah. That was great hotspot, who said shut up and blow Maine. She fell, but you know, like I didn't want to support her ability to do that. How does she do that? How are you allowed to do that? There would be record someone's voice mails and then play it on the internet yeah that should be like really illegal, especially if you're married to MEL Gibson, you know, he's drinking. Even though he's a fucking, nice guy man. I met him at a mom with doctor. Neil Reardon talked about stem cells. Stem cells like severely help his father, his father, was cut. My watch back to cover up lollipop. Oh so I don't think that was on the tapes. Ok and it looks like the blaming the Jews is a weird it is a weird weird one: it's almost so antiquated it's a when you when you go to things to yeah Mexico
taking our jobs is a lot more obvious, but what jobs? I know. I know that not the right, but it's more like I don't agree with back. Ok, I can see it but the Jews. It really is a throwback thing right so weird it's a weird one, because it's almost always there's some sort of intoxicant or some sort of a psychological issue. Yeah! It's always like when your when your default is go to the Jews, the case. How much has the shoes how to name- act on your life, like I'm, not saying that some people haven't had bad situations with people that happen to be jewish, but I want to know like if we could have a chart, will show all people that rally against the Jews find out how many People have actually had a negative impact on your life. What is the numbers the numbers being pretty God Dam, LO, MEL Gibson would be like the Jews are the ones who are take holding my money back, that the producers is that he would say. May because I'm saying that's what the juices
my contact he'd only Jews are the ones who Christ and make like some ungodly sum of money. I think he did that on a ball z, move, though I think one of the things he did was he took ownership of the film, so he financed it answer yeah. Actually, I think I think that's the case, if I remember correctly, the passion of the Christ he's a very religious guy and his father is too was too yeah right, right, yeah, not very catholic, Onazi roofing, again, no, not really thinking of Schwarzenegger. Austria yeah baby yeah. I don't think he is not. She would see that maybe someone in the family things that right dad dad and father is my dad. Yes, somebody may might have some questions about the Holocaust. I don't know who the hell gives. It was how to collect on one's family. I don't know whose family was. I remember something I don't remember what it was, but he so when he made passion of Christ, he likes said. Look this means to me. I want to do this movie, I'm going to just pump it any at all that loot from
he put his own money. In pretty sure the case. It's a production company spent thirty, to produce wow. That's a lot of money, that's more than are spending on our ship, your Jew, taping February, eight to the Skirball Center in New York at tickets, already great dot com right now. Was this a swoon segue. Are you doing sets in town the week of that you're doing that probably do other material, those those nights. All really. You wouldn't want to run the sat like cons. I would run it okay, so long night, so many times, that's a good feeling. Yeah, it's just in groove, I did it last night at the store that was like three days. I was like hey give me a belly room orange inside of Maine, with whatever I'll be fifty people in there. So yeah, I'm just running shut out of it all the time beautiful, it's nice, that's a good place to be where you just have it down: yeah yeah, that's nice, the Skirball Zug, place to what we talked about it. We're like some of the synagogues were like. I was back in bending over too much to like make it work a sent, a guy who look cool this was there. I was worried about the sound just worried about this.
Height of the ceilings. This place was massive yeah, beautiful synagogue and filter, but anyway, after agonizing over, they came back a week like we don't want you to do it, so it good even matter good luck, yeah, they probably Google, you hope shot there. She said they were good shows she really like that place at the synagogue, no, no yeah. So it's I'm really excited about it. Yeah this kerbals legit, that's a spot that a lot of people perform at that's a time tested spy. I don't have to worry about that part of it. Cool part of town, too, yeah doing something on a synagogue. Man like who knows what's going to work. What kind of sound you can have? What kind of echoes are going to be the people going to get in the audience is going to be weird when it comes through on a television. Is it worth it or is it worth it? That's why they had to agonize over. Is it worth what percentage worse? Might this be the laughter versus? What do I gain from look to the things you talk about that, I think, are very important ones to do it in New York. I think that's huge, so gigantic
jewish community, the people v, it's where the Jews in America in Boston is like, maybe second, but not as prominent New York, is where it's at and then on top of that, like that's, where you perform most of the time MR so snow is obvious. Is there yeah and the skirball to come and check around there? Yeah I'm pretty excited about it. It's perfect! It's because a theme like it is self it once you get past, the theme is people just want to hear the material it doesn't matter if you're in a cynical? Ok, so that's what I did yeah, but that's what I did with this thing. So I was like I'm going to workout all this shit. This theme, stuff in clubs in New York and la just regular club sets fun right. Follow big J talking about some relationship in the crowd some Bobby Lee doing whatever right and then just like I'll just do this and it has to be as funny as those guys yeah with the theme. I think you like not notice the theme, yeah, yeah and then be stand. Yeah? It's just stand up and then that theme is on top of it, but since it is that it's like, oh yeah, that's awesome
so I've, never how much material do. I know you haven't how much material do you have outside of it? a year ago and Bro a year and three months or something like that. I didn't add on show to my last two shows we're we're done with old that we are not on show in a in a tent, and I was like this will be the next specials material ran all my looks like the problems. I go crazy with justice themes like it. It's like annoying after awhile right. You don't talk about one subject. Well, you also get thank you know bits come because you get like your mind. Pops up, you see something see almost got tickets should out. It was asking like well- and this is a bit you know or that lady- that sunset every comic on at the store and a bit about that. Dancing in the street on sunset because they all felt like they just are, even though she hosted up there at things, make your mind up off, so. I still had that and I'm like well, I gotta do this for a week or two or so and just to get rid of that you know and then, when I'm done like, I express myself so like that, then I get back to the terror Mmhm
so November. What was the date February? Eighth and it's already dot com for the great dot com yeah. Yes, available right now. Right now, tell me a right right now today this. Why cannot the la tante Tante February eighth, which said February Manhattan New York, beautiful, that's playing time he Catia together? You should get to make your plans and don't does ARI as pay back here so again, I plotting. I know it will do right before special switches water ball around here, we little watermelon happy crazy to get the exact same water bottle, switch like an old spy, even birkhold everything. There were all right, that's right, yeah or flush with the tough mudder,
as a rough one got weird yeah, yeah yeah. I think the lesson is so. Does anybody but yeah? That's definitely the last thing you know, but I mean definitely do get free drugs to people but but on only if they ask for it yeah that point trouble than I thought it would be yeah. Well, plus you didn't take any consideration he's on medication either like that's the big one that they can do about it through consideration. So Bunch of issues there
new found zest for life yeah. Given him, this ability got that out that promo what drugs you been on since the since we're just pot just bought yeah. I was anything but yeah, booze yeah, boozing pot, hello. Thank me too. No! No. I took some only a little bit just labor yeah to to dance on, but that's it. How do you feel? I feel good yeah me too, but I feel good sober to me two I enjoyed it. How do you feel been sober for the month I'd I enjoy it. I enjoy that. There's no choice. I sometimes I wanted a glass of wine with a stake. Yes, but the real in the reality is doesn't matter. I don't really need it. It doesn't need it preference, but like he had? No, you don't she don't need him. You can't enjoy the things out of life. Oh yeah here, but it seems like we don't have any parts of the podcast yeah, but we should also really liked it yeah. We like it to the thing about alcohol, though versus pot. Is you pay a price you like to eat probably pay a price of or two beers
No, you pay a small price for a glass of wine or two beers, small price. It's very small. You might not know it said. Maybe it's quarter worth it, but if you have like three drink, you pay a few dollars. You lose. You lose a feeling using lose a staff yeah, it's a fact. The fact you get hammered if you put you drink, like seven eight drink to get drunk the next day, you're going to feel like shit you're, not going for me as well. That's true, but also that day, if you're with friends drinking also feels really good, might be worth it. Yeah, yeah good times your friends getting a little loopy yeah. That's a good point! That's why I missed the most not in moments. I didn't miss the drug. I missed the drug enhancing a moment should have been Yankee games. My brother coming to town a glass of wine an italian meal. You know it's like yeah. They want want want to have italian meal meals like I'll get. One would be great here, yeah for sure yeah, like it's a
knowledge they figured out how to alter your state. Predictably, there small glass of liquid, it's pretty great, pretty amazing. The first two days I was struggling but sounds by locked cabinets of like liquor at hotels in the it's like everything else right, you can abuse virtually everything that everybody enjoys Oh that's cool or sex, or anything or electronics, or anything television. There's some people that watch television, twelve fucking hours a day. So just sit in front of tv and watch tv all day. What do you do to limit yourself on there on tv now on that bike and stupid thing? I've been really good with it lately. What I mostly do is the one thing that I do trick myself with, like I said, is those Google stories are way too many? I read news stories then. I won't have reading like scientific stories about like Fuckin' space and all these different things. Maybe So it's interesting in two because I'm getting to look at my phone. So it's like I'm tricking myself into saying. Oh this is, but this is a crucial information that I need to have like
so it's because of the feeling. I need to check this in check. This takes you got banned for three days, Instagram for something that should happen. He said during that time he was banned. Where he's like. Oh I'm banned, he checked his phone, like seventy two times check his instagram signal still bit like just reflexively? We end up going in that was the lights and colors or what I don't know, but it's not good for you, the political troll it shuts it off after I use it for an hour whatever you want to send it to you know my girlfriend put the code on there yeah, so I can't I can't override it yeah. You know, imho. If I need to open it to promote something big, I'm to be on there all day, I would tell or take it off but like right, hello is what they're not says you got five minutes left. If you go to make a post about a shell, do it now right and then you're done, then it's over yeah and so it's like, and then I end up using it a little less because I don't, waste that hour in case. Let's say I want to post something later right where I want to go in there. You know I want to save some time and then I end up only using it for like whatever, but I need that brunch
control. It's very rare that I really do need to answer emails on my phone. Rarely agree with an hour a day and just get it all done right or do it on your computer. Only the only times like save you are in the middle of a deal like you're, about to sign a deal for your special. When you going back and forth with lawyers and all the skirball, the Skirball February, that's called Judy great dot com. You can get tickets for sure, but if you were going to do that that kind of makes sense. You would check your phone during the day, but you also time most of the time. No, I check it in the morning just to make is not some nonsense that I forgot. I have to do during the day and then I try not check my email at all until I start to and podcast ads, okay, so one thing I would say for that is what I like is not taking it for the first and I fail first hour or two of the day. That's best English. My phone, don't even look, and I set a time of eleven or twelve. I wake up at nine hundred or ten great book, one thousand one hundred and thirty whatever, but like until twelve, like don't touch it you know my favorite thing to do, and I've only done this. A couple of times legitimately is don't look at my phone at all
go right to yoga class and then your minds received your minds racing. It's all about the whole night before I even said the whole night instead of bag balm, get down in like does this deal sound good for this club and what do you think for t shirts just like just let your mind wander when exposed to no one else, but I it's fun for you at high as fuck. Don't look at your phone get higher before yoga you'll come out of. There are different person from another dimension, a different hole the time space continuum here, just drop out of their big star, think it changes universe, division, your life ever for space out when you're doing like a a back on your back thing and then all of a sudden it like you to like not not a sleep just out of my God, getting like all the wolves or yeah yeah catch up on. How long was I out yeah you can get zone now. Man you're messing with your consciousness. We do in the household knows poses in pre getting your messing with your conscious, and I say that in a good way, how they did a new Netflix special about that be cream guy yeah. I haven't seen it, but I saw
There's adds a lot of people change the name of your class. I know the one I went to so they hot call it years ago yeah. She was like yeah because shoot once we saw that with that is the kindest full rapist he he he devil s, measures. Why would address those women idea? What moving pay one million dollars for one job of my one year of mycelium yeah. Why drip one drop off my sperm, yogi grill? predator alike. I, as a bunch of rolls Royces, that's my favorite part is yoga with a rolex on Holla do think that's on his card, yogi guru. Now, it is now now they probably put it on there he's fucking character, man in the worst way possible, but he's definitely character the helmet. These are thing man when you're around a bunch of these freaky people I'll see that movie. When you around a bunch of these freaky people everybody: is half naked and you're the guy who's, the one and teach them how to do yoga through the master you get to fuck dude
isn't it weird. When you see someone who went all in with yoga- oh yeah, it's like they should with their hands in the only way the yoga pants like that is there being. But if that's what made what I start wearing yoga pants everywhere, I would like to know what yoga Joe I'll go? Well, I already wear fannypack what would be the different world yoga Joe. What would I be shirt on if you're allowed to wear? can t shirt. You can wear it now right quarter that movie. So it's I think the specials out this Netflix documentary, I think it's out, is that understanding people don't know about it. Yeah it really or broad. That's after Paul, Rudd Dicks went right to be crumb. One drop of my spam we've been spend one million dollars. I would like show me one Spend one million dollars firm, you'll get one drop, I have one million dollars in a whole load. I know someone who runs a yoga studio and that was the fucking final nail in the coffin when he said that one drop off my sperm, like alright changing the name so so crazy, but I think back when he started
crazy right. How old is he now? Seventy eight is that hold is probably pretty alright back when he first came here in the 80s and they'll doing you, member girls wear like scrunchy socks, and it was Remember like they are like Living Newton, John, let's get physical, let's get physical girls taking there take taking aerobics classes, buying those reeboks roaming issues with the L Crowe everybody does the the socks a little proof. People about that writes a little goofy ball. The soccer out about that that was when that started so he came over here from India shorts with leggings, underneath that's right, that's right shortly and colored leggings yep. So he came over here from India started teaching and just let Neil snake out of the basket woo then an adversary system to make like. Indian music sounds and say took the snake out of the basket, and getting his cock, but yet he's a
hi yeah. I want to know if I'm racist there, you definitely got joke. Why did you got two levels? Your joke was your clean. Yes, ok, yeah, but for such great racist, because the because I make the nice to not have because if you say something about someone from China and Ewing, Punpun Manga and then raises all my god, you're racist, okay. What will definitely, I would say there is an argument for racist but not valid. Given as yeah, maybe you could not do it super woke. You could go in on me. Oh yeah yeah. If you were really woke, you could take a swing. Let's see You know, you know who have fuckin'. So that's the works. Quick do you know who fucking never never get stood up for its fat white. Guys, like you, can ship
fat white, guys they're, not even human. Nobody gives a fuck about the way they fit those main across this little. But I would say: please do you talking bout, Bert, but it is not fat anymore. It's not a beast anymore. He also lot of with just overweight. He lost a lot of lot of looks good. It looks very good there's only one guy, you know does not look good Tom. Did you say Tom? No, I heard you say to I didn't say Tom. Well, I was asking a question: it looks fine to Maine. Have you got a different filter style, karaoke is better. Is your billing or yeah wow birth winning now well, I told Bernie makes two hundred five. He gets the belt. Yeah? I text with any point I text anytime. I text two weeks out are going to make the weight as I go. I don't think so, but on the road I will come up to see how much you weigh. I go. Do this guys who
I two hundred and thirty five on Tuesday and they fight on Saturday. At two hundred and five, you can cut that they cut the weight yeah. I would love to fucking, fat, old, hangover wrestler that guys very big ranting and agreeing, I think, he's in Australia. What you're writing about is like look big jobs. In the background I can ship to the crowd like for those that are watching. You can't see, like just throw their brown skip ahead to what's happening, these teams being the Haley's great. Out on what is the there's, a guy yells out because of time cigarette does its I up, but those are playback fight,
find yeah. No, I enjoy your failure here. Hey how's it going. Oh that's, hilarious, cigar a girl, random rules that might not actually been said. That sounds like someone inserted that sound. Maybe but I'm not I'm not buying it. Yeah yeah good point. I know what they're doing they found some guy doing that and some other guys. Let me hear that again play it again. You might be right, may not be crazy to have you guys heard of it
Oh, that's it held up because he was still talking here. We go, but I like that's an actually room that sounds of the guy. Didn't his bathroom yeah, his mom's like. Why are you screaming in the wind? Why is great I'm not I'm not buying it Dmx? Well, that's what I would say said this work order, the website. It says no gimmicks, I wouldn't say no gimmicks as well. That would be a good way to do a good gimmick, yeah, there's, not the law is not strict on no gimmicks claim. Well, that's a lonely road right, we're talking about the road to being a stand up and traveling and doing stand up being up a progress with it. Nobody knows like trying to make it on the circuit who, like doing with
like I, was doing yeah. That's right! That's tough! That's rough! Copacabana ever talked to him now he's like a legit, wrestler wrestler, just on the road all the time. It's hard right yeah? Is your friend Tommy still bowling professionally know his legs are shot out. He his knees are shot from bowling from bowling yeah. I guess so. Jesus Christ think we used to be caveman. We used to be able to fight off saber, tooth tigers and neighboring tribes, ranked fifth in the world in bowling is how great standup is or now expect fifth in the world in bowling, and he made thirty five grand that year. That's good yeah like here for a bowl. Yes, there is view behind him, yeah that always comes up on Reddit, because that sign so while I'm his knees or shots from bowling. I think so I don't know. What do you do that in bowling? That makes your knees go? Let's see, let's try it out here. Well, here we go, There's like that torque, I think, probably yeah. I guess
right yeah. That makes sense. If you twist harder Are you on the slide issues that issues you slide in maybe that's part of with you yeah? I do know this in pros and play it like their 40s and 50s. It seems like sliding shoes wouldn't be the way to go a divided No better! You don't know you don't want to stop shortly right, but I'm saying I do so this slide issues the way to go, because the pros use 'em you're, not stupid, but I would think that if you had more grip, you can wing the ball harder. Oh, I see what you're saying I think it's that the move they got going, this layer of momentum in a whip, yeah so yeah, let's watch some strikes almost all says its arm injuries, except for MCO him his arm not like to bowling injuries. The arm? I could see throwing this out yeah yeah. Do you know only Marines alive right now,
and they don't have the cockpit bowling lanes. You borrow pocket bowling in Afghanistan I've been to Hardwick Lanes overall turn hard lane? There's a lot of dips. My dip stay on Greece to the rails. Florida feel like whenever the single you know they, like their carver balls, will carve a groove. You gotta find the groove, so he says so. This is how the tournament works. You play the whole week and the top five going to the tournament starts with fifth place. Fourth, the winner of that place. Third, one of that place, second, one that plays first with the championship. So, if you're in first place for the week, you have to play one game well, if a lefty is in the fourth fifth game, If that lefty wins he's already set a groove that only he's going to be in Hong. Where is the right? He has to use the other guys groove, and so it's like it's not set in his own. The left, you will go all the way and went wow. Yeah begin is because the
oil on this because they proved up that the fucking laying their way exactly. No one's word, fuck it up to write easily but it's a great game for six year olds. That's what it is! It's like it's like pool. If you only broke the balls and people get mad at me. You to so the blur blur they get so angry. Thirty. Five k for number five yeah, what are you hoping for? Just shut your mouth, it's a child's game roommates on tour. My ball was fifteen pounds. I'd like to see a six year old, throw it that they have roommates on tour yeah. The best guys have a roommate for the week. Then they have to do, there are bowling groupies that are hideous. Every industry. Has a group we have the moral is Ruby is not great. Every industry must have groupies yeah yeah weather, like I know you from the scene. Yes, even once you would think no way
bowlers like he used to think no fucking way for like guys who played video games, but now, major shortages, getting his dick sucked right now. Yes, for sure, but there's other guys that you could say that for sure, there's typically it could suck your dick porn. She do it. She could do it if she really cares. Yeah could do it if she really care looking at yeah. It's there's a lot of money in it. So once there's a lot of money in something to get groupies yeah one hundred percent, but even not even if it's just you are pulled groupies in here- did is it hung out there? There was a few really hardcore drug attics that would hang around the pool room and then some like really lonely, ladies and then there's a few girls who played pool and they would hook up with guys too, because I saw like these guys are the best. Yes yeah. There was a few of those girls who would get really there would be pool players,
we're really into like the pros they would hook up with the pros university, yeah, yeah right and they'd, be like hang out, wait until like score yeah. That's only knows better man that the only thing that saves pool is well there's some there's now there's some: must to be played America some, but in other there's a lot of money, there's there's big like they go to Qatar. They play Billiards in China and you know you can you can make like real money in tournaments out there but you have to be like a Shane Van Boening or or is it yeah, yeah, yeah, he's top of the food chain. You have to be like him, there's a few of those guys Jason, there's a few of those guys that are like just straight up killers. They could travel the world and their fucking bitches all the time. Uhm- I don't know I don't know I don't know, I would imagine if you're looking at elite pool player in your handsome fellow, you probably get a little tail, get a few players that are like making other people you're the best thing about.
Tomorrow might be like a yeah. Yes, yes, yeah, but like in the Philippines. Pools. Philippines is huge, like there's this guy Efron Rayes he's probably the greatest pool player of all time he's from the Philippines and that guy is star over there. He does Kamur. Tools and all kinds of crazy shit, everybody knows them. I get people on the street yeah. It's like pick, okay like Tiger woods. I got tiger. Woods is for golf tell Evan raises for pool tiger. Woods goes anywhere. People know tiger. Woods is. If everything goes anywhere in the Philippines, he does commercials Manny Pacquiao I in many knows many actually plays really good pool better than me. He plays like professional level pool how come you could say, Filipinos or Standard Lee way, better pull than us. 'cause of that you can't say America is clearly the best comics in the world. You can course
yeah, some Americans, some are just as good, and I mean pool players are just as good as things like Van bone on the top one yeah like job overall overall Filipinos have a lot of great pool players. They have a lot of killers, but there's a lot of kids just killers over here. To now this killers from Europe there's a lot of killers from Europe, pull it off pulls different, but was stand up to the fork out here. You know, I think I think inlets came from like theater and here from like storytelling just like around campfire. Well, it came from a lot of variety shows too, like Lenny Bruce used to do used to do stand up on Verizon right, yeah there would like a ban would come out and, like you ever watched mark, MRS Mays, that they have it. That way. I someone comes and then act? They do some kind of an act. They have like a fucking puppet, activate, reduce the band, and then they introduced the band battle come play a song and then Lenny
to go out and do some stand up, and I mean- and then you know, that's that's how they did it back. Then they didn't necessarily have comedy clubs. We talked about that yesterday, with the ice house at the ice house. Is the oldest comedy club technically but it really did become a full time comedy club, one thousand nine hundred and seventy eight, where is the store, was a second full time in seventy two yeah, so they a full time college class people kept saying was older, but it wasn't a common, not really it was, but it was a variety show and they'd have magic and fuckin' bands and all kinds of stuff yeah. That's why I said one time it sees biggest decisions was going like we're going all comedy, we're not doing music comedy magic, we're doing all kind of people. I see your mind. She was the best way to crazy loon. Thank you Yeah we needed her. You need some jazz, a people. Well, my god, you needed her yeah. She needed her Let's do it then to run a fucking comedy club. She let people thought
figure it out in their own. Now she want you to kill, she just wanted to develop and become better just be better, and then she always find spot. To put you in the beginning. She put you on early, you get with a fresh crowd after awhile you develop a little promise. You put you on after hard people and if she liked you every set you're going to go after a murderer, every you're going to you're, feeling starters murderers, and then she would give you advice that wind and Thanks for the advice, lady, it's row stop going. But every now and then then then she throw me a gem. Just tell me how much she loves me. Yeah yeah, just here there, man would like a bucking abusive, and that should give you a little bit, but I suspect I was twenty seven years old and I expected it going in. I was happy just to talk to her. You got there were twenty seven yeah wow Twenty six really I went to the first time. I was twenty six yeah,
for the show Hardball Ball came out. He would brewer and he was on a trip to yeah, he was a brewer was the mascot the first episode yeah. He was a mascot out of the opposing team, the Pide pioneers and had a fuckin' flute, and you got beat up by a giant baseball that was our mascot. It was really funny brewer, but through his fucking hilarious still is sure, he's hilarious but He was out here with Maine. We were doing that pilot and it was like I wanna say it was like ninety three somewhere around then yeah. Ninety three yeah. We came to the comic store and we're just sitting in the back of the room. Watching that I remember thinking. I can't believe I'm even here I believe this is really the comic store and then maybe six months later I was out here live in because the show got picked up, maybe not even six months. Apart for months, you know you do a pilot pocket scene got picked up, came back, did six episodes and it's just hanging around store. Well, that's what I got
Meet Nancy and she said you can perform their garage. So I could be a non paid, regular first on dish and as a non paid, regular and noble said I was there every for goodnight I didn't have a life man I nowhere to go so I didn't have any friends. So all I would do is go comedy store after I worked so I'd work all day on the tv show I'd go home to my shady oak woods Apartment and when the oak Woods Apartments in Burbank, you know where those ones where it's a pre furnished. Meant four people coming at her exactly once yes, and and somewhere around episode, three, I'm such a fucking genius. I figured this shows going to take off I'm going to get a lease, so I got a lease for a year- an apartment in North Hollywood, a real apartment and than the sugar chance, I was good, but it's good that I got that lease because I was going to move back to New York. I did not like that yeah, that's what kept me I couldn't move. I had. I had one and it spent an acronym.
How much it was, but I remember how to pool table in the living room. There was number one thing that I did. I got a place that was big enough for me to put a pool table in the living room. Jesus that was my pre workout. Walk out every apartment, I've, one hundred and twenty three million four hundred and fifty six thousand seven hundred and eighty nine that's five feet with four on each side. So it's a nine by five right. A good table is four one, slash two by nine, so you want to give yourself like fifteen feet with, and then you want to give yourself our twenty feet length. So you measure out five on the front five, back so you don't knock it with a stick when an addict yeah yeah. That's what I look for. That's great, that's like me when I go to places like smoking allowed right part and I'm like, because I want to know now we're all just move on yeah yeah, but I had a neighbor they've got mad that I was playing pool.
Yeah, I'm sure populated nights of no. No, no, no. He asked me to not do it until they don't leave use the living room because the floor was creaking and this guy was like the superintendent building on what planet. I see some walkie, you don't agree with walking up stairs and he said well you're walking around the pool table when you playing pool I go. What if I just walked, you don't be walking. You tell me not to walk The living room can hear me walking like what kind floor is this. Like what are you here for that dude? It was a carpeted floor to wasn't like I was like. I had fucking, cowboy boots- and I was running around on a hardwood floor, so it was a regular. He said the floor creaks and it's annoying like wow. What the fuck can you? Please not walk, that's over in New York. That place was made out of cardboard, because I could hear everything you do is well. What do you wanna tell you I'm still going to talk. I can hear phone rang, and then I could hear the answering machine go off in the person like I could
every thing they said, and I didn't realize what a piece of the house was until we got an earthquake, one day I was in the apartment and, if you've ever been in a legit earthquake, but this was like a five point. Five this was the. It was really the aftershocks of the Big Northridge earthquake. So this apt, I mean just goes like this. It didn't do anything that I thought it was going to do. I felt like an earthquake would like everything was shake yeah. Just like the movies. It start moving back and forth like, like that's a big. The apartment was made out of a refrigerator box that it was like like if you pause inside a refrigerator box, so a Komodo Posey like that's what it was like. The whole thing was just moving. The walls are just moving like this place is made out of nothing. This is made out of cardboard. I remember thinking, God Dam, your volume,
one earthquake kit, when you feel the first one hears, I was because you feel little ones all time feels like a car's underneath your Russell overdue or soul overdue. They said that won the fault lines moved recently for the first time in five hundred years. This is also from Myanmar that that's we'd bro. We talk now, that's not for us from Chino areas from La Speedweeks on that's a MIKE Tyson Joint, actually, really, yes from Tyson's, we all yeah. They have a cigars like that. There yeah this is not a cigar. Okay, I'll put you on PLUTO smoke that, like it's like, I said where he goes towards on. We can't he goes for it. He goes for it like he went for in boxing. That's what that's what he does with his weed, speaking of which did you see this story about the NBA player that got yes, oh my god they suspended for ten games because he had an in this. Isn't a medical, edible marijuana incident in team playing conduct detrimental to the season to the team? Oh it's only an hour flight from Phoenix to L A2, oh my god that is
where is the five la suspended for ten games next date? I've kind of the guy was looking a military. They don't want him anymore either why he is not. I want to say the child make. I don't know what he's doing, but I'm doing you just said, he's a troublemaker doing good without him and he's twenty four million dollars this year. It's a whole really are trying to box Mount potentially. So it sounds like money on those ten game. Still you have for those ten. Maybe someone says one slash. Eight some of those that are a part of it as people that ask me all the time I was also on Halloween, I went dancing. I want to have fun you know and and on the way out to recognize me, they were like people tell you like: alright, alright, the guy, what's up to like get off locked up, don't they are a dose may someday? That would yeah we're at the bar and some girl was there and I was ordering a drink and then she just goes like. I said she had her beer. She just like I like that
The truth smiling. That's like you know what I'm picturing right now, I'm picturing Bert, with headphones on running. So we're on the road listening to us right now, so funny good, something funny bird someday right now. It's not funny you're. One of the three of us is not obese, just be happy about stuff, but the I I'm not obese, I'm just overweight, no you're, now not obese. You that picture on Instagram. Yes, you are three away from not being obese and you went down so ninety it. What is obese? What's the number check out plug in his height? Why put for four and five ways, his wait, what to bomb around two hundred, my calculator? What you got down there, before we start drinking again, wow, that's quick!
I got down to one hundred and ninety five one. Ninety five, there we go site does this? Sometimes it doesn't cannot be reached. The government doesn't want know if I'm going to be so it's all about this one yeah. Put in me. It does the age to know that don't that doesn't make any sense. Why is matter of the age yeah never change change the height. It's not I'm, not! Five hundred and ten five eight and change the weight. Two hundred that's going to be a base. Again, I want to see what that is calculate it. We've class went to one twenty one to one hundred and sixty four that's it as your age in there too. Well, that's normal weight normally, for the range is one hundred and twenty one to one hundred and sixty four, but what's just overweight but included one put in one hundred and eighty seven. I love this. I love being my calculator overweight, one hundred and ninety? What do you have to get through to be over one anything one over one hundred and sixty five is going to be overweight. Anything
one hundred and sixty five. So I want to see what there is overweight and obese is where that line is putting one hundred and ninety. I think one hundred and ninety means you got it. Ok, I can make that one 90s, I'm just overweight. One hundred and ninety five come on bitch, ok, so one hundred and ninety five I'm good. I got down there when I opened, I does it that's where it change the bird is now. Not only is it our hits. The road is one. Ninety, seven, ninety one, ninety seven, if you're gonna, wanna seven, you are overweight. Okay, I'm over it has achieved. I'm just overweight. I've got, I'm somewhat fluctuate at all the someone time. I way myself too but in the morning it's easy for me to stay around one hundred and ninety five. I could do that right now. I can pasta it up yeah.
Pass that up it's just so hard to be consistent, like with workouts it's so hard to put in, like the real, consistent fat burning time is so muscular low rattle ago most low. I don't know how her lift all the way around it do it. I force myself, hello. I understand deterioration that comes with aging it's one of the most important things for your health. As you get older to lift weights, it's very important muscle mass as some sort of a some sort of correlation between health and muscle mass. When you get older, they say that you should do some resistance exercise sizes and weight, bearing exercises just to keep your bone density and your muscles strong yeah, my thought is like your bigger yeah. Sorry boys with my thought, is useless. Fucking thing why you got because you don't see a lot of seven year old dudes that can work out hard right. So what's the point, the point is I don't work out hard when you're fifty so that when
you're. Seventy you're still alive like what is that you like working out, I'm talking going for it and I'm going forward. Ari, I like being exhausted, makes you feel better. I, like those ninety minute, yoga classes. I like running hills. I like kickboxing, judges who are going hard. I like going on when I can go hard anymore, I'll, stop right now. I can still go hard. It's amazing that we're friends, because I really enjoy the not move I'm really into different things. I don't know how we put it on joint. Not moving too actually not moving, but I'm because I've got caveman genes. Do there's, there's something inside me. I got a squash judge, heart cake part. While well, I tried to be as nice as possible, but there's definitely some shittin me, especially for my my childhood, all my childhood. I grew up fighting in martial arts tournaments that that is not a good way for your brain to develop with
violent combat sports every day the week as you develop time, you're fifteen to time really twenty two, just that's not good this just you can do it with proper guidance, become a nice person and I'm not I'm not down you can. But when you, your whole life is about kicking people unconscious free, years. It's only about that and that's what does also the time when you go through puberty. That's also time we are learning about wired, yeah yeah. Yes, so for me, it's like that that door is always open. You gotta, throw water on that fire. All the time you got to get out there with the hose every day it doesn't matter? If I like it or not, just don't let that fire don't know how to talk to the pace. There is one struggle, somebody in life. No, no remarkably not like so that's also 'cause. I do it. If do do jitsu or lift a lot of weights beat beat beat up the punch
You don't need MAX private, even things like as you pass. Somebody cuts you off in traffic and just like way too close you don't like, I could kill you well, someone was talking shit and getting mean to me yeah, it's very nice to know that you could fuck people yeah. It's very nice you know it's very it's very nicely. If you see some guy, like some average body dude, who thinks he's a bad as he talk, shit he's mean and stupid and he might take a swing at you and you see one of those guys. It's very good that you are the one who gets to decide what happens and you can teach someone a very very severely sin and let them know hey mother. No! This people like me out here I'll, break both your arms and leave you here, hello, so bad! I just snap on both crack crack. Good luck or good luck. Phuc face! Hope you don't lose him. There's a lot of mean people out there, I'm a nice guy!
nice yeah. So if I wanted a mean person. I want to be the one who gets to decide if what happens, I get it? I know I want to be the one who gets to size when he gets hurt. This is too many people out there that will just take sucker punches at people and hurt people. This see it all the time online right, I'm sure you see it, there's so many videos of people, hating people and doing fuckedup things to people for no reason so yeah. So many people just do the knockout videos, two member, they didn't
I told her she's not going anywhere with the old lady that was waiting in line at like a grocery store and he punched his like knockout and then punched her. I don't remember. I just remember a video somebody, some kid hitting an old lady. It's only one person takes too far was a horrible one of some kids. They knocked out this guys he was getting off of a subway. I think it was in Chicago and just cracked, this guy and he fell face first out cold on the concrete bounced off the concrete. I was like, oh my god, and the guy was old too. It wasn't a healthy person like that is something that can literally change the rest of your fucking life. These kids are just doing it and laughing and jumping on train wow yeah. There was a lot of people doing things like that for awhile Fuckin', Harvard kids, that's what it is. It's all those Yale Fox and all their money and their fucking fancy grades. They want to rebel, they are crack old people. I see people studying Nyu all the time. So weird looking in the library
so weird, just like a different time of your life by studying all the time right and then the grind yeah. It's just like. I don't know their college that just look like they have the whole world ahead of them. It just looks so fucking enviable just learning. Well, it is in some ways, but it's also like there's a weird time to go to school. You know yeah, my friends, that each. Liberal arts, college of people just aren't very happy. It's it's all about and and progress social, John out of social justice, and you can't just have like a fun time. It has to be for a reason. Why is what happened? What happen to have an 80s night party can't do the probation, no, culturally appropriate. I do a little in the eye. I mean, let's not to suffer no internet. That's right! We had a hard. You mother, but I mean just not in terms of who they're offending, but just in terms of like they have to be fighting against something. So it's a terrible existence. Are you
how to dress up as a civil war soldier if you're from the north, you can't be a confederate soul, are you allowed to just get better service at Harkins, something hard and powerful You can definitely be a union soldier right. You could be Ulysses, S grant that's another one. I could see going both ways. I could see somebody going that way, me of the civil war, which is by slavery. So that's very hurtful and someone else could be like no, I'm honoring the people who fought for freedom the like, then they can go back there. Why is it only the white experience bill to fight for freedom? Do you realize that if you went back and time you around the civil war, be a giant run over people all this is not had good food, oh yeah, 1960s. I think the average size for a man-
that was in the army was like one hundred and twenty five pounds. Well, I could definitely one of the doctors will be like cut it off appetite cut off yeah those doctors had it made. Nobody made it cut it off. Dr, it's a bloody, tell cut it long enough leg. It could get a dozen is. We get all die. Get these glass tips last up to put them on there. That's part of the came with it another give away. Will it was ordered? A tall savage in the world of the time is five seven at during the civil war for american Man, third tallest average yeah was. I mean. That means like the first average is like six feet: tallest like the tallest average average tolls person. Third tallest was five foot, seven, the average like. If they like you
there's an average. What's the average the tallest average height, I got the peak. What is it? Is it sixty five yeah average for March the year average for the people that are alive so what year would that be one thousand eight hundred and sixty six civil war time period averages fifty seven does the third highest third highest height average that we've ever had no during that time, but I mean that was third to people that lived during that time. During one thousand eight hundred and sixty, I think that was the third highest average average. So if you had first highest average, like I mean first highest average. Well, the average height of people. What is the highest like for England could hire the of these. You can have percentages like you have thirty, like you say you have nothing else to say. If you only have ninety people right now, it's just a bridge. Thirty of 'em are six foot one. An above thirty of 'em are six foot one to five foot. Ten thirty of arm are five foot seven five foot ten what that means hi Ashley. What are you choosing to three thousand and thirty thirty? It's just
no, no, no, but I right, but the number of humans, the overall number of humans, then, when I said that's why I broke it down to ninety, so you have three groups have ninety people. It was the third highest average like were the third in the world or even do see understand what I'm saying, there's even listen hold on. Stop, the third percentile. Listen there haven't. If we have ninety people, if you're in a certain third, three thirty and thirty and thirty yeah right, if you, if that's what you have- okay the and this obviously the third, almost there almost even in the numbers, represented by each individual category of height, so it's five hundred and ten to six foot. Two is one group: that's thirty people! Why those side, because you happy I'm just saying this, so you can understand what the third highest percentage means. It's based on the number of overall people. So if there's two hundred so instead of three percent proof, so there five hundred and ten instead of ninety people, let's say: there's ninety million pizza, ok! Well, thirty million of 'em are five hundred and twenty six foot one percentage, what we do
find out what does the highest percentage was five foot, seven, which means that out of these millions of people that were alive back then top third was, after that our average? Yes, the third third hours at the lowest. I to confuse that no way you might be confused on the word. Third, it's not of a third, it's the third place in place, average male in America. Currently, thirty, seven! That's why you're not getting it Wake me up at 37th as of today Seven us a United Americans, United States. Right, but you're talking about the average height, was that for America in eighteen, sixty six american soldiers were tall by the standards at the time for grandma's country, but people are so tiny back then that third highest height there start highest category. Was It said we were just to rank third country. We were the third of all that that's how much I right I'd figured I'm confused on why you guys are not on the same page here. I think about
In the same thing now I'm saying we make third in country he's saying the third grouping of people averages five, seven, which is that you were smoking with that they were saying average height of people in nineteen sixty six, the third average height of people with five foot, seven Does that what you're saying wait, wait is this? What you're saying is America ranked third all the countries yeah, that's what it is and we were average height, five seven at the time the average height of a male was fifty seven, the third tallest males in the world. Today it is 37th. Well, that's a confusing stuff yeah it is. We rank. Third of all the countries. Americans were five foot, seven on average, but the average height in nineteen eighteen. Sixty six is five foot. Seven. To do that, I guarantee that food. Nobody had any goddamnit. Women were five hundred and thirty two, how we think people starve to death back then be a lot? It probably is a lot less people starting with today, and if everybody is that little, it's the same jeans how the fuck is in one hundred years, plus one hundred and fifty years, how do people
so much bigger. How do you get full screen Monsanto make you months here too? No one gives it up for them. I want to like good stuff for doing when you stand next to someone like Alistair, Overeem or something like how do you make HOLLAND? They hold dutch dude. How do you get that? How someone get that big? Those are the vikings right. Oh yeah, Rico, Verhoeven, He's the Glory Heavyweight Kickboxing Champion Breed he's fucking, giant tuning, that's how you said: giant Vitala, sucked adults making sure that's how you get a Brock Lesnar. That's it isn't magic! It's real, simple! The conquerors fuckall the hottest women and then they make babies and then in two thousand and fifteen we get back. I that's basically what it is. Basically that is basically what it is man. It's a german shepherd that your wallet that how come I like red band. That's to me why crisper is so fascinating. What's crisper crisper is gene editing technology that they aren't there it currently using on a live human.
Now they're doing what the first test now on live human beings. Yeah, it's gene, editing technology that came up with what for I know my butcher this, but it's a tool that they recognize that back period, Carrie like certain signals, and they figured out how to edit jeans using what they learned from how bacteria carry these signals. I know I'm butchering this, but they're getting better and better with the tools and they're getting to a point where they're able to isolate certain jeans like in China, they were able to give people h. I v. Avoidance of resistance to HIV ended two. What brand of the code, but it also had some sort of a positive effect on their intelligence, was two for one and is he has a bunch of weird light good, but I think that speculated, but there's a bunch of weird chain reaction. Things are now entirely. Certain of yeah saying it's unethical in his experiment on people.
But they're doing everything to super kid. You're going to have a super kid someone's going to have a god. Dam, incredible hulk enjoy your ethics, while my kids sucking smashes your village. Well, he once a country decides they're going to pull the trigger. Super people? I would also ask you to do you. Imagine what it's like. The troops is trying one twenty troops, what if all porn by the year, twenty fifty is chinese guys with China. Hogs it's all, because that's all they are so that's not the world I want to live in every Chinese. Guy is seven foot tall and they'll have a giant hog. Well they're like we're sick of this, then we're sick of it. Now we have to do this once revenge they're all seven feet tall as a field. Now giant Brock, Lesnar bones and huge hogs like like twelve year old kids legs and they just banging getting that moves in their way world I mean once if one country pulls the trigger They decide. They're gonna make super people everywhere. That's up, everyone have to catch up, but it's well. It's almost like the internet right. If we said hey, we can't allow people to communicate over
mean freely. We can't allow an even distribution of all the information. The world is just too much power which is given away to people. We got to stop this, we get it. We gonna make this only for a few people if they did that. What would what would say the will world totally different place, but they didn't do that and if someone doesn't Stop them before they make super people, but they say listen. We can't do this. Super people 'cause there's going to be everyone's going to be sort of person and no one is going to be no one's gonna have a body issues, no one, because everyone's gonna be perfect. Yeah we got it. We can't find ways will find other ways, change. Your eyebrows are too big. I don't like the way you're, not yeah and then Everybody would be a super person yeah that be great. That's a hundred percent possible! That's that's! Within a hundred years, They're probably going to be able to engineer most things about people unless something catastrophic happens to us. Your number that Van Damme Movie, which was their soldiers Linda, not universal soldier,
what it was about yeah. I was just like look at having that genetically augmented soldiers was enhanced self healing abilities and superior strapping yeah. That would be an John Claude Van Damme ahead of his mother fucking time. He had a scene in Timecop. Remember there was like a scene he went back in time with a machine gun was fucking people up in a civil war days or something like that. Do you remember that or somebody else did didn't see that movie yeah yeah. Somebody else, that's what it was somebody else in time. Cop was like a bad cop. I think they went back and did bad things well it going back and steal and golden schitt, then coming back with the gold, it's the guy he's going after. I saw that's right so that dude see if you find them and several were injured. Yeah yeah yeah civil war. This is great because I have always thought like man, how cool would it be to go back in time like to the you know any any time and you know the fucking, the history, the Spartans Ann.
And see somebody show up out of nowhere with a machine gun so he's asking these people asking for the goal and they pull out their gun. He's just fuckin' guns him down to fist with machine guns or laser beams didn't shoot. The horses, though interesting how amazing accuracy very good, must trained yeah. Probably trained, didn't look like it, though it didn't look like he like real, solid, topical training with the use that, but that was that scene. I was thought like that would be a cool scene in a movie. Do What are our lives? We sit here and talked talk to everybody. It's like that's our jobs. Now yeah, and then you just do stand up at night yeah we just have our own focused radio shows you just do acid. Would you do? I don't know it's easy yeah You pay rent, the ads, yeah yeah, amazing. It's way better than a job job. Oh my God
when people ask me, why do I keep telling people to do it? That's why to do what to do podcasts, hey! I am b, we told too many people do Pocos Y says more choice. The leaders Cont don't be silly. Everybody should do this. If you're listening to me and you're upset that I'm saying it's probably 'cause, you need to do your own podcast and you know I'm right I just really sorry not everybody should do podcast. You wouldn't shut up, don't yeah you relax, not everybody should be, but a lot of people could a lot of people. Could it's a viable job option? That's all I'm saying it's a job option. You can control yourself tools, consumer, you think you'd, like focus You got lucky you going in early, although you won't be this big, but like this stuff is fun time. Anything can happen just sitting around talking shit, you fucking record it yeah yeah, it's amazing! It's amazing! and this is a is also a lot like the internet, and nobody saw this coming now. We thought, like the biggest broadcast show, is going to be something that someone just does on their own yeah, like these Logan Paul guys like that, guy just fought
boxing match that was the headline dead body. Yes, yes, it was line of an event the staple center. Yes, he thought at the time zone line. Streaming on his own wow. I bet a lot of watch it too. I wonder how many people watch that thing they give us numbers I mean. Does own you know what that is it's a it's a streaming app that has all the big major fights on it. A lot of the big boxing matches like Tyson, fury's fights and. What is is canal operas on that too. I think yes, yeah was a lot of like top level and we used to have a chap he's on that too. So all these guys- and it's I x amount per month. I don't remember how much it costs you could watch the fights on your phone talking great all the Bellator fights you watch all the Bellator fights in your phone, but they have that with usb two. You have seeds that ESPN plus app same thing, walking all fights yeah, and then they have some boxing matches to let schools watch those because then you could like, if you have to miss one yeah, tunein fuch yeah, dear probably, with stream.
Things that shift. I get home from a gig and if it's a UFC, I didn't see it as long as I stay the fuck away from my phone. I have no idea what happened. I go home plot. My fucking feet up. Watch the fights after the shows uh, it's wonderful, dude, yeah yeah! This phone is great. Oh yeah! you got a phone phone yeah yeah yeah. My you can watch so much stuff on this. For you or someone baseball, playoffs yeah, you watch everything well, yeah. I missed so much in five years. What is this one of these glass? All Levin thousand people watched the stream, the slave on this glass. No, the skyline drive, no well. Maybe that is hilarious. I'm trying to find the actual numbers I have found eleven thousand, that is who various. What a crazy way to show a fight. Does he get extra credit for that? coolness credit coolness points for sure, but like he can he can you get in trouble for that yeah I mean it's he's rebroadcast
let's do that. I know this is a whole art project. I say it's fuckin' allowed yeah. It's an entry is making a new enough you're? Not really watching that for the actual action you do want to see that what happens sure that's part of the projects, you Gabby, stealing, alright, disagree artistic license. What's next? What do you see? I think AGI, glasses or your apartment is reality. He g r, one where you can make up that Akram example: one just got pushed two years, so they are rumored to come out real, really sometime soon, the others pushed to take twenty twenty two right. Now, though, those they have some similar people. I don't know if it's for series specifically but Alexa Bill, Hunt glasses now they're, like sunglasses that have all time built in while you're wearing it. You can talk to Alexa. That was in talks to me to take it's too much fuc off. They need to take some russian scientists. They need to bring him a Steve jobs, grave and bring it back to life free need to re,
invigorate him reanimate him and have him run apple again from the grave yeah with no soul plus he was impressed that ends here is the bands and how they shine to some giant robot nuclear. You can't make everybody, you can't record everybody, it's fucking bullshit! You can have a fucking thing. That's record: you right. I can't decide that for people around me that should be totally illegal. It should be bullshit, but it's going to happen. Almost no one signed up for this. We don't set up as the rest of us in sign up for it and we're still having to deal with it. That's true. Do you remember that Google glasses? Yes and we were all like those people got beat up. It's like having a like phone from his face, told I'm no one likes that nobody likes that that's not cool, I just we'll just have that all the time don't feel safe. No, that should be illegal. They should not let that be, and no one could tell if you had it recording or not exactly. I didn't sign up for it. Yeah Wanna. Do it around your house? That's fine! That's! It should be illegal, but what do you do with China
with their super dick dudes. All the sudden has a glass is half while way gets company. You do that over there. I will bring him over here. We don't even know because we're so ignorant because we do we lost just like the stem cell race. We got behind the curve. Maybe that's always a good when the people it does it will we go up on the curb and I'm sold, does motion version right yeah. I don't have any here, but the son to make a good podcast. You don't think so. Now the third minutes of Boring CASS, Ivory million Paul had more paper view, buys an Anti Joshua overseas in two weeks, while the Hearn Holy had about a million or maybe more that's a lot. Not for a streaming, so there's a lot of people coming. Do that's a lot. I didn't know that the get that many for a streaming service. The thing is, Solana been many people have the streaming services now. So many people do it's some. This is one point. Two million added. That's a lot! Mana! That's a lot! That's huge! Well, I'm so
The first fight did that it is one of more this way he fought twice looking Paul a year ago. Yeah it was I amateur for and this is a professional fight. Yeah, it's professional six round fight and it was the headliner of a card where Billy Joe Saunders fight Joe Saunders won the best fighters in the world. He's an elite fighter world champion. He defended his title on the undercard of two Youtube, guys fighting now. How much would insult is that for him, I'm sure he just like I'm getting paid, who gives a fuckin' views to more abuse, it's good for him, that's crazy! What a calorie it's all about the fucking dollar! Nobody gives it the art. Do there to youtubers fighting yeah, there's no art right, I mean there's some art to it right. It's a creation! There's some drama liveships going yeah, but I'm saying the other guys if I can build your Saunders yeah, but for him people don't know who he is. You didn't know he is now you do see. It's like it's good
and he won by knockout. He won by knockout. So it was good good showcase for him he's a vicious. He shoots Logan Paul. Next, It's really almost order of this fight. I'm gonna do that to make a lot more money. No, it appears that they are not the same way. Class Billy, Joe Saunders, is like one or two way with his light heavyweight. What is he is he super middle weight, Google, what he is thinking Billy Joe Saunders, beat him with his right arm to hide behind his back. It wouldn't be fair at all. It would be horrible, but that guys, an elite world champion. Boxer and Logan Paul had one fight splint on his leg right arm. Hide behind his back. You know some will be hello, Paul someone did that Jason Ellis so crazy? He had a fight where come. Who did he do it with Shane Carwin? That's right! Oh, my god that makes it
more crazy, that's right, Shane Carwin, who is one of the biggest punching heavyweights in the history of the fuckin' sport. He made Shane Carwin Tape, his arm to his body. Look at this, so he's got his right arm taped to his body and he's just black. System with left hands in two chain. When was all fun again murderer Brock. Lesnar murderer! Do a murderer idea. This is such a ridiculous, but there's so much lighter to that. Guy it's a giant! Oh my god. He hasn't even really tried to hit him. Yet when I was taking jujitsu in boulder yeah, I was on the Matthew just got left. This is at this point that really needs man. He scooped him up for some reason at one point, I'm just to joke around to pick him up But when I was there I was uh training data their jujitsu. School and I walked in there is a left hook, fucking terrible idea.
What should yeah? Look that watch the punch again he's so big man he's so big one backed it up a little bit like this. Oh right on up. He just keep trying until he got him he's so busy little bit of movement. Separation he's just way too strong way way way way way way way way too strong. Now, anyway, that guy walked in when I was doing just sells rolling hills like that without without Shankar ones. That looks like it's a cartoon person. What is that he was at the time was probably close to three hundred pounds he's so big. It's ridiculous to its got like body arms like where your body is the terms and for Ellis, be so crazy. The willing to have a boxing match that do not give out once in the head, but that jackass roots I get is a fighter with jackass roots. All that noise. You can get some never ending, had a
Would you fight now what I know there's no, listen to what I'm saying I know, but like not one of those guys, you know the celebrity too many people that have a real problems with their head. Really, yes, a lot of fighters like post career are having a real struggles. It's not it's! No joke man! You gotta know when to stop and head injuries are down about headgear, that's worse! Well, head gear! Doesn't Hegger, makes your head like a bigger target, it's easier to hit and then also when you get hit, it acts like its unnatural fulcrum. All this fucking weight on your head, yeah, I think you're the thing about it is you're trying to avoid cuts. That's what headgears good for it's a good for avoiding you can get fuckd up with a punch or kick wearing headgear. Damn big gloves help a little bit. Yeah big loads, still get your fucking brains. Rattled tripling are talking about having a fight, but he won't fight me know, don't get your brains rattled, it won't be me. I guess he's word about himself: butt hurt
yeah getting hurt in his mom is worried about it too. Would you trying to say trying talk shed says his mom is worried about him. I know that he loves his word about it. We're going to talk about is that you're saying. I think that overall I stepped away from the fight yeah. I'm trying to get the prize is trying to figure out what's going wrong. If I don't find me, what do you want to fight him? You guys work together. I know, but he's really talk about this fight forever. He won't fight me forever. You would do this. I know you would for do you think you would fight high or sober public. All right No, I don't know. Maybe I trance- all the time with that he encouraged it. Yeah always Inscrit. Would show metro cause high that be a negative bear. Mama bear knuckle. You think I was not thinking about other things that big loves, but that's only one way to go. I don't think they're not going now.
Bare knuckle open hand slap. I said, that's good way to get poked in the eye, Trust Maine. She Lewis and break his hand slapped him today. Did he really he broke his stick? So I think so. Where do you hit it right now? giant head. One he's got a super wide. Yeah he's got big bones: J yeah how is legions? Gangster went on for fun. We were so high, though dude, and it was the day after so. Rocktober was over blitzkrieg and they kept rolling, once and pass them around, and I was- and I had a pronounced Russian names two hours later yeah to the wins two hours later so so this is slap slap, fighting, Jeremiah, him and Jeremiah. That's. Oh Jeremiah, Jeremiah, just let him up.
Little JAM Jeremiah change stance. He knows how to use that function because for the block to because backhanded- oh he's toying with them. Well, do Jeremiah slapped my god oh shit, Louis, when he faked boxes. He touches you which we can learn how to box from Fuckin' catholic school. I think Kansas summer yeah for real, it is Katelyn. Could you learn to Lewis is outclassed by this hundred and thirty pounder big and then that's a good so this is two angle to this is slap. This is Tom. This is a real slap fight. This is a real slap yeah. This isn't like some guys Silly with this, with the got it right, he said no wow wow, so you know he's not now, but you got sucked up Gomez, cracked, oh that's kind of funny Your dad stop enough region of schanks slap boxing, oh my god,
I said that you can go to slap box and don't get confused. Look at him. He just had a fire that was like a fight, Out for this he out first round, I don't know what keep going please What are you doing why you shut this off? Let it roll! Oh, my goodness. Happy Louis Lewis is so serious right now, Jeremiah is doing for me, tell you what to do and what waiting he's putting his hand is pine and Lewis throws these combination. Jeremiah's waiting to see he's catching a mass come coming in. Would you comparison to Anderson the a little bit a little bit like counter fighting, fighting and he's. Also very very Smart with his defense, Ann Lewis got a little feel. For that right hand, a little worried about that right hand doesn't want that things coming down. It's a good he's got a good reached actually keeps blocking on the side of Germany.
Not touching it with can't help, but want to close this for us yeah I real close Jeremih's circling. That's a good move as well. The Lewis is closed in the distance. He looks very angry. He serious he's going back to his roots. There holy crap he's getting very Jeremiah might be losing steam. Oh he's taking big reaches, said over rounds there's another round after this. During my doing this got to be able to keep it moving. Please, let's see the next round four and goes on for this in a minute, all my God, so I just kept doing rounds, look he's his back turned and shed there is hilarious. Finalist guys are I'm so glad these guys are alive. We just there so ridiculous, yeah they're, pushing wild comedy, do right now go as far as I go on Legion. Of course, not it's just such an open environment for doing whatever it's also in support of like, like I said, wild comedy. You need that.
You need that. You need to gather round things out. Obviously people love, it Oh, I'm not sure my dad so lucky he's taking away the Hong Kong's coming the lewises relaxing a little bit more now and he's starting to use some technique. That was some nonsense right there. It looks like you just punched him in this. Does he looks like closing time. He smacked him hard in the that right hand. Well, people who haven't slept share. You can slap yeah, you, Jack O', Luisa smacked him loose, really went to the body with a punch dude in these punching. Do it seems like he's slapping to the body, do you think this is probably concept. Would you recommend to him? But what books would you recommend me? Internal pacemaker will just got up with that right hand too. He got lit up. He got
Oh, my god, wow I I mean he won that fight he's out he's got Jeremiah's heels gym. I want the first round I say was awash most. Definitely not. I didn't judge it. Now. People are saying one more round. Ok, what does it say Jeremiah takes? It I can see it is all who would want to wow. Listen. He did crack him with. It was all based on round two and that was closed. Big shots. Look at Jeremiah slap boxing people that looks painful as fuck like his face is raw who, my god, to have a rematch. Listen where we was. Let me tell you some about slapping people in the face slot. Mughal the face is open: hands open hands, hit your eye ball. You gonna scratch your on. Never real, never, injury! This, I'm I'm not saying
the strategy job you do whatever you want, but I want you to know that open hand slapping and reaching like that. You just ask someone who's. Seen. Probably five hundred people get poked in the eye up close you're going to get the IRA great. That is the best reading about that. Someone don't do it, though, and what don't do that right on to note don't slow it down to if you need to win. Is this like this? I, like your technique, block goggle, so little slits the movie risen. Let's give way to get those things whacked out ground nails into. Maybe if you had some eye goggles like legit little welding, goggles or someshit, some Google goggles, but they'll, be it would must be worse for you because it will fuck with your peripheral. If you didn't get slapping people. When you have things on this one thing I always hated about head gear. You put him on. You can't see things here in here. Good, your window of your field of view gets narrowed. Yeah, it becomes a problem when you get close, you don't see were punches
coming, you know see. Was it ogle's yet head gear? Coming, you don't see things coming. I would think that would be. The same thing goes: goggle goggles, I think you so far with Europe yeah that would suck up a lot would fuck with your peripheral. All those things would fuck with your peripheral yeah. No way you don't see anything coming, but in less you trained with them on. If you train come on. Maybe you could do it, but also we're used to it still cuts you down. They could also just touch your goggles with their face and they would get their sweat all over your goggles and then you wouldn't be able to see his good another good technique. Yeah they're both rank goggles, so so it's fair, but they would both do that it would fuck you up. You wouldn't be able to see that good, which is why we see what happens in front of you. Let's just cut the shed and put some gloves on and fight. You wanna say that if we're going to slap fight, let's just let's just fight, I want to be able to take you down strangly. This is nonsense. First amateur in the eyes smearing each other's fucking.
Think we've been in a just charges of. I was in you and Luis cause hearing some desolate he's watched over a hundred UFC fights. He's a big fellow though he is so fat, probably get good at it. Yeah he's a big tough. He could lay on you, wait three 30s last litter. That's a lot is also for twenty. Now he's not that big, I don't think he's back he's balloon. He's trying to start a fight with him, I'm not I'm just saying he has ballooned. I was guessing a highway that soda special when he taped it was like outside. What do you like to forty and goes like two hundred and fifty I was like? I was guessing hi I thought would be two hundred and twenty Jesus. That's a big fellow yeah but he's big period like that guy, just you know if he died, it down got ripped. He still two hundred and fifteen two hundred twenty pounds, the big fella yeah. We lost forty five. He two hundred and fifteen see that big teams, big coach,
I don't know. Sometimes you really don't realize people just get like suddenly without his glasses. Why is he wearing yellow glasses everywhere says new thing he has. You know You guys have a thing he's always looking for a day in well. The Jbig J took from dice weight, lifting gloves, Bj, so much people don't know that that's his omage to die really yeah the weight, lifting gloves, big jays, a giant dice fan. He loves 'em giant toys found yeah, who doesn't do restaurant ice to meet Jay or a roof party in July. Fourth, this year, yeah, I think this year so yeah, maybe yeah November yeah that sounds about right could have been a year ago, but I think this year Oh, I see you don't even know it's time. You know how it works but, like I was like hey, come meet me that my friend Jay wants to
and then who were just up on the roof like Jack. You meet somebody who talks again, hang out right now, just real quick and he was like wow. That's awesome, yeah yeah we're going to do a podcast with him and ice really long time. But I don't remember what happened. I probably dropped the ball, cumia and ice doing dice off so their friends right in other friends. I know they had a thing for awhile. That's washed. There was one of the best feuds radio already were great. He would do radio fuse on purpose but get into feuds. A purpose yeah! So much of it was like theater people. Don't know he kinda crazy shit. He did he commits so hard everyone had those comics acting out some movie that he was filming with his vhs never ending, dice, movie,
by the way he did it, I like say stop, and he rewind and press pause right there and start recording from there couldn't go back in it. You just decide where his software horde backwards forward backward. Let's talk about too much about you away, MID punch. This is after he had sold out like what three hundred stadium, he sold arenas and stadiums all across the world. He was a giant superstar here after that he's recording these fucking? Weird impromptu may have you made us, have characters miles your body would show up. He goes. You are the four runner. What time you show up, I'm going to give you the evil eye? we define uh. He never looked back at him. We couldn't onstage we'd have to do this device that someone put up Sony outside. First, yeah This was too tired to. Oh, my God was the foreigner he had me and Bobby. While we're fighting, he had us, he made us come into these and like beat each other up- oh my god, yeah, so ridiculous, so ridiculous. We
slam, each others heads against Schett, but in that way like the sun, would show you how weak like who would you say. Dice is like if someone said what's, dice like in real life would be like. What yeah? What you don't know anybody like him! Why am I telling you, but you have to meet him. 49ers stand it yeah. Do you can't do you know know he's wearing he's wearing like old? Jewish oh sunglass have a normous. The glasses are enormous. Giant, sweat shirt up on DINA's. Here, it's all gray, now yeah Slick said yeah losses are like the Elvis. The the the like not rice is with the fickle goes back here to get short it's legit at the gym everyday. So it does a lot of videos from the gym 'cause. He does work out a lot. Still is a term called in the page. Plus is oh, my god, the picture is amazing, desert regions diamond everywhere else fishes in May, like the one the upper left us. This is Ed class of Dyes as classic dice the over me and MIA,
and Cumia, and Jimmy and um Faulk. Who else went with us somebody else I went with. I went with you once to the to the to die. Show Vegas! You were there too. I think it was a different time and you guys want man. We all went to the river before the Riviera close, he was up in that the upstairs stairs runs the larger room, yeah dude I had such a good time. Sideburns love but it was such a valuable group. I know it is funny shave the thing even on the bottom. This is my new sideburns. We all know that he's always looking for a goof, always always but we didn't know what it will be yet, no just like yeah. He gave somebody his and his phone number out on radio one Davis about to get a new phone, and so on radio he goes hey mail phone numbers, hidden cell phone number goes. My phone number. Is this and it's give me a call I'll talk to you and people start talking to him and call him he succumbed.
My car look at it turned it on as soon as he turned it on just starts ringing. People are calling nonstop because oh yeah yeah, it's main there's one guy where you start calling me back and then he started like bothering the guy, oh, my god. He would call him at work. I think it's just Andrew think. I'd like this. After talking is dream dreaming to talk to dice, a week later. Thanks I'm at work right now. I really can't it so what kind of work you're doing right now? What is it? Was there just bothering until the guy was like avoiding his call, but just go with. That would be the thing that gets his gear spin. That would be it. I know what I want to do. Yeah like that. That would be what he wants to do. He would you rather be the butt of the joke or have somebody else watching him. Oh yeah, classic human and just love them all the time, and it it
Even to this day. He still do it. If someone's in the back steps at the comedy, store and let's say, you're a fan letter standing straight up and I'm two steps up, he can't see. I don't think they gotta focus. Ok, so I'm two steps: you're standing up, I'm standing up from two steps on a step. Would you like to dice nice to meet you? Do that hey dice nice to meet you? so it just look up. It's really good. I just never look down. I got fans. Ok, that's great! Thank God! I just not come down not looked out just look at it. It's good! That was great to fan. That's great! I think I'd like that. Ok sure I see, and then he stepped down just ask him solve. We saw that God is crazy. Yeah always hit it for the goof he's a legit character right, His message remember realizing at some point I didn't have to grow up in this business like I still had thoughts of like even I'm not going to be a lawyer like, but like that's still the direction I'm supposed to head, you know
we have to be distinguished yeah or something. Yes, change your behavior such gonna happen. I'm going to become an adult, and then I heard I called Dyson. His answering machine was yeah fit in dream. Weaver mechanism of hearing you don't like that guy in his mid 50s right and I'm like. Oh, maybe I don't have to go up. Maybe I could just be like fucking whatever, but I never changed. I don't think you have to grow up. I think people will put pressure on you because they have to grow up and maybe they're like why? Don't you have to grow up enablers yeah as long as you paying your bills as long as you're paying your taxes. You know she not you, know, you're, not a deadbeat dad keep child abuse to a minimum. You said that you're not sorry as long as you're a good person who gives a shit if you grow up yeah? What is happening? What are we doing? We have a finite.
I'm here we're deciding. We want people to behave in a certain way. All you want people just don't be an asshole. It doesn't matter if you grow up or not grow up, yeah guys like dice, have a great fucking time ever. Somebody like one day he's going to die and I hope he dies in the middle of a prank. I don't know people don't realize that would make him happy as I stated dad, never just coming waiting. What's the option, I would stops two. Nobody is living forever. Folks, it's not happening. This is as good as it gets. I will tell you if Dice dies on stage and your comic in the area- and you have at some point people start to realize. I thought this is not a prank. You know yeah. If you get up there and realize he's dead right, you should say: oh ok and then stand up black, it's fucking bag and then just leave it up there for awhile longer yeah see how long you keep it going. He would have wanted that way. Yeah, I think so, yeah for sure, yeah, yeah,
He's nuts is a Saudi as as a way to live the main, Norton and and and and and Florentine introduce him like they go to a subway sandwich shop and like there is a gentleman of Archer eyes the ledger just coming in and he was like walk in pro wrestling fan, which shop that's a leri. This is Debbie a great show. You have just dies on the road and someone announces him like that everywhere. Goes. Does not so yeah peasants, please the legend clear. The flaw, he banned me from his house for a year once? Would you do I didn't do added you doses, kids. I did not like this kids. No, I would never do that. Mostly I'm scared, He said he had a gun in his in his desk drawer and I was like so you don't know way. You would never have around your kid because I do- and he said he'd bet me two hundred dollars and I'm like you know I don't have two hundred dollars, so I can't make that bet and he goes on it. Well, I do and
he's resolved left his thing. You don't look in there and, like I'm, not going to look in there. He goes, don't fucking look in there, but I won't and then thirty Soto, Fuckin' fuckface, Freddy Soto, Foxface hold him. I was just in the office told him that I went into his drawer. He said I was rifling through his drawers and ice like that's it till. I was a lie by fighter and I feel like you're out you're banned from the house anymore yeah. I was which never happened. I never did that. I was in the room. Think Freddie did that. Well, of course, of that reason This is because they got me banned. He wanted to get you back yeah. Why do you think Friday would want to get back He was jealous of my upbringing and how I had a foosball table at home and it
rather than they didn't have that growing up in Texas? Interesting, maybe interesting, I'm not sure. But the point is I never raped those affairs. You know it Bert said once it was really freaky. Now it was high too. So don't take this with a grain of SALT Burt goes, I don't think you ever die. I could be talking about people tigers prove it. You have a dog. I don't think you die. Prove it's good one though here's the thing prove it's a good like milk point, sorta yeah. But what are you saying then, like I've had enough people come? in this podcast that have you semi convinced that you're living in some sort of simulation? What do you think happens? That's a good question. What do you think you think when we have seen bodies no longer have life in them right right? But it's not you! It's not him. So those people are all just the players. I don't know
He says he's saying he's the he's. The only thing in the universe are for that, or is he saying, like none of us die what, if everyone was the only person in their own universe and everyone's universe, intersects with other people's universes and that You think that the universe you exist in is the same as one that I exist in, because we hang out together, yeah, but the actual universe. In your world is revolved around you and your world Girls are main capital move real, quick? Yes, once one guy becomes realized that he's in that he's able to travel to other universes has to kill the one person from each universe. That could be a person yeah time travel, space, drill, one will find him and be able to have another movie from John, but there's a movie coming out. It's it's been made, I believe, or their finishing it. Now it's coming out next year with Ryan Reynolds, which plays at NPC character in a video game that realises he's oh yeah in like oh, whatever
This is a call, that's fine! It's a comedy. I don't know exactly: com yeah in pc player, character, yeah! That's like the older man's nerd. Yes right, the call someone in pc dummies are just like a dead on which is like walking like walking into a wall and start pulling nails out of wood yeah. Wait a minute movie you're welcome to. We will give you permission. Yeah go ahead. We want tickets, as premier yeah. It's only one and say, is based on the conversation between arch fear and Joe Rogan Jordan's parents experience and are she fears? Taping of his new mother, comedy special will be February. Eighth New York, Manhattan Right near Washington Square Park. At the Skirball Center and are the great dot com either either overtake, as opposed to my twitter, my instagram, and and do you have a favorite two shows I like have. After all, these years, he's still
are slurring your words together, like you, have never bothered fixing that helmet made a big amazing. We would joke around sometimes about you as I'm, not like you, especially when we do tag team when you're introducing people like you already on the right yeah I want to get out of it out, but man does a laser his grades right. There are many forms of two of the seven, three, that's a that's a punch, drunk thing to you know: even a punch, I don't think you are, but that I know you're not in fact, but some people who are one of the things they start: slurring their words together. They said they're all, they all sound the same like they're talking about like yeah, but they can't get their mouth to move as fast as the brain somethings wrong. There's yeah she's, not firing
right, brain damage, son! That's we were talking about earlier. I know too many people that have been hit in the head. It's just after a while. And the thing is, you can retire now and you start getting headaches like three four years from now. Thank depression might set in five six years from now seven, eight years from now you might have memory issues, It's not a simple like as soon as your done like here. You are right now like. If you stop fighting like right now today, I think I stop fighting in a good time. I got my faculties, I'm all fine right now, maybe, but maybe all the times you've been hit over those years leading up to that is going to start to kick in years from now. That's why you see some fighters they're fine when they retire, but then cm ten years after they retire, and you could barely understand a word. They're saying that's! What's going on there, that's when it's kicking in people die of heart disease like years after they stop doing coke. Is that true yeah? That makes sense it's their hearts. Just got weaker yeah that makes sense
long for the day when they figure out how to revitalize brains when they figure out. How to whether it's through stem cells or sword and stem cell snort. It yeah yeah saquon those chinese guys giant, monster Dick and that's where the best stem cells are imagine or not. That was the only way to fix tv. I gotta suck a giant. So it should be heard since the deck. That's right. We have the cure and also a cat. We have that's right into these monster cocks, that would be the chinese porn film. These guys. That would be the debut The only way to cure brain damage would be you'd have to suck one of their cocks. As I get these old football players to bad knees to suck these giant chinese cock, And they're like what, if what is sucking his cock to activate, gave me more depression and I'm like well, so I can treat you don't know. The cure is so good. It's so yummy you gotta, but you want to suck all the Cox
like the first. Only one card, what's hard is like just go ahead and jump in the queue just get in there and suck that cock first, one is that the biggest once you already have Cox sucker? What are you worried about just suck suck to your heart's content now is happy because they taste good. The shame's gone it's over yeah and cures all his brain. Image fix your game treatment. All the time you have women like Botox women that addicted to it. You would have that I'm actually feel great. That's where all of the best themselves came from. They came from a dudes dick and if you really again I'm going to get him right from the tap 'cause. You can't have an air they die instantly, so you gotta! We take it from the cock to your mouth. Sorry, there's no other way Jamies like I'd rather have brain damage, kind of picture movie. Sure ok
do with Cox. Yes, it does a lot of this. So these chinese guys are actually bread in the lab to make their not out in the streets, but then they get, but it's just some milk them for their fucking produce juice. You know right, but super sperm and they get out. They get out lot one one lock the the door. They get out their streets, es MAS organ, that people want to kill him, but also don't kill them. We need their sperm right, so it's first capture live there, also massive dudes, and then people want to suck Dick, so more Barbie caught. Maybe that has something to do with it right. The cops in the backseat sucking his dick and that's how they get out a bunch? I got a bad back you mind before we go in there and get my outside get it coming back here for a quick run back here. That would be the greatest fucking gay porn yeah, what you have to really shoot it well Superman engineered Superman with a giant hard deck and everybody wants to suck his dick 'cause. It cures all of your ailments, yeah and he wants out to live in.
Free life. I've added that ACL since eighty six, two important offer of all suck it out in the that's all you Yes, he can any that they've done research. No, but imagine that was the only way you can get the best damn. So it was a Jesus. Touching you yeah yeah. I mean you it's the guy. When I had a lapse, he would call clean, scapes like well. How much do you make a year officer? Fifty grand right? Do you hurt you got stabbed and you want- and I can I can, let's make a deal- just open your mouth jerk, often enough to suck it. You want the cancer She wants got cancer, you can shotgun it from like. You, don't have a second shotgun it. You could take it and put it out. I guess I wouldn't want to win. Just pretend sucking on your own. Feel the healing yeah I hit there at all. That's the cashier, they're gonna, airtight some
you're bothering this to take place with the tow how long for women have robot fuck dolls, once men have robot Fokk dolls, how many years before women album after that. Well, I think it would be best and allow not allow. I don't think it's a good idea right off the bat, but they don't have it. They just don't have the body that goes with it. They already have the best funk things they have. Vibrators and giant dawn purple division want hardness. Men want softness, which is harder, replicate that hardness. So your chemist- and maybe some man would want something interesting that a woman would probably take advantage of like would immediately. Not all men want to uh what the hell are you get sick, so we don't want something up his bases. Well sure sure some girls take offensively yeah, but this is some girls. Can
take like. Are you saying that's how they get or that machine or I get like all this it was made for a guy will be, I guess what then the gaze of the common man about mine and the women like? Can I users, while you're not using right right so right, gay guy has a all. Then he I get like a mirage is not for a massage it's for whatever girls user from, when, when the lesbian porn closed on the gay man's house for partying all day and I'm working right right right when she can choose their fuckdoll yeah industrious, lesbian, she was young Luther you're a loser, but you got a good fuckdog yeah cleaning up and bring it by my place. Yeah the movie yeah it ends with a lesbian entrepreneur, getting the fuckdoll in payment for back rent. This I mean we're about fifty years away from having indistinguishable. I just made that number up, but I'm pretty confident. No, it's indistinguishable.
Robots exactly right. I think it's about right, right, yeah, right about when you are ready to kick, the bucket will be walking to be robots hanging out in Starbucks and we'll go that, a real person, the amber this was already on my pad just when I walked in here, so I believe fifty wow. He wrote set already that was already on here. That's taking about the sex symbol, Just doing the hand that made it look like writing, I don't know. Ok, let's say I never remember saying that I don't know anyway Jill February February. Right are to all tickets, eight in New York City tickets, at Are the great com already got skeptic tank there's been outstanding too? I'm sorry podcast. We were trying to do a swap costs. Yeah will do another one ok were around. I want to have you on yeah we're going to do that with poisonous things we get high. We did that with this time because we could swap this now will do another.
I'll do another another one will do it on the things that scare you right yeah. Those monsters should always talk about yeah things you can kill you in a lot of they can kill. You did talk for days for days. They will do. It will do the next then we should do it in here because I would like you know. I will call that shut up yet, but will do it will do it again? Do it again yeah there you go, fuckers get another podcast, goodbye. Thank you. Everyone for turning into the show, and thank you to our sponsors. Thank you. Twenty four sigmatic delicious and Patricia's lions, Mane, mushroom, coffee, they've gotten! deal for you mister Jerry listeners. You can save up to forty five percent off. That's right up to forty five percent off to claim this deal, you must go to four sigmatic com Rogan this offer. Only for jre listeners and is not available on the regular website, go to Foursi,
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Transcript generated on 2019-11-17.