« The Joe Rogan Experience

#209 - Eddie Ifft, Brian Redban

2012-04-26 | 🔗
Eddie Ifft, Brian Redban - Date: 04/25/2012
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
you don't film this anymore oh it is filming you're filming right now by the you're out you are online eddie if this is real this is live i'm nervous now whenever we're living your heart skip a beat been thinking so people listening this shit the joe rogan experience podcast is brought to you by the flesh you know all about it by now if you tune into this podcast if you don't know about it it looks like a flashlight but you can fuck it john heffron had the line he said it's great they shouldn't incorporate with a flashlight because nobody ever knows what a flashlight is but everybody knows what their flashlight is and he's so right it's so true it's genius analysis by mr half a fine comedian followed him twitter william h e f r o and john have run our buddy garage click on the link for the flashlight internet courtney rogan save yourself some money all right how much fifteen percent
dammit serious yes i am go this is the tipping point this is time to make the decision john efron's been in mia where the fuck that's it's been on the river is a thirty two animals he's had cattle veiling somewhere is somewhere don't push up some fucking parking lot were also to you by one com it's o and an i t makers of alpha brain new mood stream tech sport and take immune alpha brain being the most famous and also the most controversial it is a cognitive enhanced supplement a new tropic if you go online and google neutral big that's an o o t r o youngest spell asked it say that what they are as vitamins that have been shown to improve your bodies ability to produce narrow transmitters they don't make your mind if you stupid they do enhance the way your brain works i use them i believe in them and we have a one hundred percent money back guarantee on your first order if you order thirty pills and like you don't even have to return the product we're not trying to rip anybody off this is all stuff that before
we were selling this i used all of it and i used all it works my big believer and vitamins and supplements and i'm a big believer in that what you take into your body affects the way your brain works for sure is brain joe you do it's taken little pussy nearby i do and that real something crazy saint eating pussy antigonus chewing swallowing is something you know organs cargan that's totally right when you're eating seems like just sounds like you're chewing especially it's like a and you think
him like being hungry and he's eating pussy and he's just like i you think he's just gonna take a bite out of it i wonder if like if you really a pussy if it was like the most delicious piece of well it's probably pretty tender right my season you have to make sure you cook it very fast he like salt and vinegar potato chips you would have to be like a searing yeah you just black and blue it yeah yeah i found out about blue sticks this weekend in atlanta for the first time how do you wear a restaurant and they that was rare and then it said blue and i was like like what the fuck is blue so this is the cool should ever i tweet anthony board dane and anthony boarding tweets me the answer i'm like within a minute a minute great is this world that we live in what was the steak place so it is worse than the four seasons in atlanta i don't remember the name i know it no wait is it chop i don't remember
a really good place in atlanta you got to be a member to get in and it's got like the restaurant but then there's a members room it's best take i've ever had my whole life anyway this is the commercial will it is not a sign in there not also don't apologize every single we you do we do it the gas do it what we need right now to make our commercial sucre marshalling and in the process they become conversations watch it sometimes like eating pussy and the best taken atlanta i still want to take the product and its good stuff i get it for you on a dotcom go check it out and again if you order something you don't like it you don't have to even return product we are absolutely not trying to rip anybody off everything were selling is the highest level ingredients that are possible to acquire its the best stuff we how to make its real i use it go check it out aren't i come
entering the code name rogan and you get yourself ten percent off any and all orders not just the first one all right you dirty fucking pitches the joe rogan experience i do night all day mcneese will always be the greatest shout out you know the roy mcdonald one people were criticizing it like you crazy bitch that's roy mcdonald's talking about my pocket cast that must stay in but the nicki just nailed it train by day rogan podcast plan i always wonder who that was that's nick motherfucking dea is my favorite fighter to ever test positive for weed what a good guy wait they test for weeks fucking so stupid not only that he didn't even really test positive for wheat he tested positive for an inactive metabolite it's not a psychoactive it's evident and that some cannabis has been in this system but it's not evidence of marijuana
its evidence of an inactive metabolites that's all it is so that you could have taken this inactive happily which is even prevented or prohibit by the nevada athletic my so why so didn't masses also build besides the possibility of taking it that way you could also gasoline you cannot can get it from our work it's not a masking issue i think it's a flushing issue i don't think you can mask marijuana prove i mean sure out there that can tell me but i'm saying why would that that's not a performance enhancing drugs well it's a previous somehow another what they're saying i believe if i have understood the legal language i think what they're saying is that we metabolites shows that he has had it in his system but what's really crazy is it so stupid because they know he's a patient is a medical marijuana patient in california and if you don't know that make dear smokes we'd jesus christ are you paying attention at all you don't know he smokes sweet so what it's okay if he stops thirteen
but not twelve eleven days but not ten nine days but not eight shut the fuck up it's fuckin stupid you know why because what we are talking about is not him being high inside the arctic the psycho active effects of marijuana don't exist when he's in that octagon with their with those levels it's impossible so he's a hundred percent sober that should be the question you are we was taken before that because he's got a card so when is it where's this logical clara that's crazy like that the hd h thing you know the nfl trying good luck it's so fucking i've been reading so much about it because i do a podcast called wod cast about crowd oh do yeah and isn't across his place just open up like ten miles narrow logo in aachen bathrooms at starbucks they're everywhere but they their task they say they tested the games and like sixty eight thousand people tried out
games this year bright and these guys like if you will get the guys that are the top cross border some people say they dont use some people say they could i'm not here to say if they do or doubt but they're doing like foreign five work out today there just insane there they there there inhuman and and just the recovery rate i'm looking at going fuckin hd eight would be amazing but when they test they test the same way the nfl does which you can't you can catch it in and test only like one time in the world has anyone got caught in an hiv aids it was like a rugby player in the uk time one time in a year and totally avoid crazy levels are huge yes something was so was just completely so they have this new system that they think they're going to be able to test but we had sean waxman who is the olympic weightlifting code he's got waxman's gym down by the airport we had him on the other hand he was talking about how it's it's it's it's were of like a money making thing like dollar theirs
money being made in the in the testing world so there's like lobbying being done to make more testing to make more testing so they can make more money because it's just this ridiculous believe why would you prevent people from enhancing themselves like like you let people take protein supplements that's coming from a cow were too in the way from a cow and we're eating it to make ourselves better why can't we take the growth hormone from a cadavra and use that won't do that at first we do because if you did do that out of my way get really decided at you can you fucking mad cow disease we're we're talking about earlier here all sorts of things diseases or where they might answer synthetic right yeah it's actually made by bacteria is bacteria yes bacteria constructed what but but it's so
anything that simulates an amazing process of you and i would never figure out given a billion years in all the books in the world you and i would still be sitting out tell a fart jokes you would never figure it that maybe a lot further than i would wear mostly god fucking i can't figure out how a toilet works it's an amazing how some people's minds just can do that like there's a variation in the way the human mind works is so spectacular i tried to figure out i was watching the way they're testing to figure out how the the human growth hormone load the way they get this like thing that locks onto it so that they can and i was watching over and over try trying to comprehend it i couldn't i'm like i'm fucking retarded to get this in my head rick ross would have figured it out you probably of man the real requests we had on yesterday genius guy that the there yeah till he was twenty eight years old he couldn't read really
so not only did he teach himself how to read but he also taught himself the law and found loopholes in the law so he went from being like can't even read a book jack and jill to fucking getting himself out of a life term in prison the one one of the most amazing i think the best podcast just the story wise a maze and then some rammers conniston what do you want wrapper stalls identity held it pisses me off yeah you'd think i mean data it was gonna be in jail for life is what it was he was a legend out on the street like in i'd heard his name sales like i'm not even utter heard his name when i was living in no way i wasn't even live in and there lay rather heard his name like he does that legendary oh yeah he was legendary as far as like drug dealers in this country you would hear about him in the new stores and stuff when he when his trials going on so that's huge huge deal nation wives how'd you get find em busy is footwear look now at that level
it was at rigour as did the rapporteur that it was no easy freeway ricky onto her that's what is nickname was really what ross but he you know it's really interesting to see this guy who were was twenty years old than this terrible situation and sort of just kind of on his way through the system to success and then it all came in apart and then he built himself back up again and now he's like a really cool dude it's amazing really intends intense he pissed off about the guy dealing his identity fuck yeah yeah he should be then well we can't talk about it there's there's part of it that we can't talk about for galicia some would like theirs australia i don't know if you've ever seen the movie chopper yes i have i love that fucking movie said sir gareth ban on its work and if you then it'll era is supposedly all true yeah i mean this guy if you haven't seen the film the guy got thrown in prison he was i could do he was like a hit and kind of for drug dealer he gets thrown
prison and they're gonna send em too like that the way the prison where the guys want to kill him are so instead of going there he cut one ears off so that they put him in the crazy board yeah and now he's got these like fucked up ears but what a great idea but he's he's this crazy legendary australian the people kind of like he's he's like a hero yeah but there was there's a guy now up there's a guy who does a parody of em and does how many shown towards like sold out shows everywhere in and are an age did he shall like he does it show where you host sidney i did the adelaide comedy first one i did a show too late night it's heath franklin is the guy does chopper anybody he placed chopper woe and he's in character doing stand up and its good it's good it's good stand up and then he's doing it is chopper and every joke is about like misogyny and fucking harden the fuck up and and he's got the mustache on and the sunglasses and and i said afterwards i had
rumours i said is has he ever contact you and he goes year patently is not very happy i go fuck with a guy like that christ is a guy who will come in you're not in your he's crazy fucking crazy if you watch that movie by the way if you haven't seen it it's a great movie i really fun movie it's like you're rooting for the psychopath australia makes great like chris crime like that they have a show a show at a movie called animal house watch animal house this family while i have that yeah fucking explain how he gets to do that if choppers still alive i don't like i said do you have to pay them a commission you nothing on my tours and sells out to every life raise it that seems crazy that seems like you're asking for trouble you should give that guy a piece well i mean i guess it's kind of the same well i mean it's like god's
do impressions as every that's the way does it but it's a false impression that's why i'm doesn't change my name de louie anderson if i have to do and we will come down hard on you louis hires loyalty everyone seiners blue come down hard on your son what are you saying why you say spink i was getting this on your show again under fans are so diligent about facts hitherto i gotta tell you how good twitter is less than five years ago spare me like cows or pigs campi grass fed they get sunburnt they do but he said somebody they do you think do you think pigs is so they have to be understood that can't be eating grass all the time the totally ptolemaic sense yeah i would think that so were the real pink like that what kind of protection from the sun is that i don't know they probably get all fucked up imagine robin suntan lose
i can pick a pig exist so weird because pigs are the only animal that we know of that becomes pharaoh meaning it becomes wild almost immediately from the release from a farm and it actually physic we change the shape its real weird somewhere there first it becomes like darker and thicker and bushehr and their tusks grow longer and their snout actually this long maybe that's how they should naturally be but so weird though there why doesn't that happen wonder in the last case their protein feed them shitty food i don't know if that's it man somebody over that's the best way to get rid of a body if you take us pigs in them movie snatch how do they do it yeah remember the guy was a keeps big yeah that guy was a great actor with those huge super coke fall glasses like i was the shit wasn't in the sopranos also or am i just thinking so think is just snatch i definitely step but yeah but that's i stick
i once he's gotten rid of a body i said what what's the best way to get rid of a body anita go fishing and i said what you guys go fishing and them roman the water yeah like you go far enough out in the ocean lucky that it not locking that would not lucky that that's for sure at a time of dexterous dying behaviour that doesn't work out doesn't it but if you think about it i mean it's probably a good bet i mean there's a lot of goddamn real estate out there what a people a braid out there how many policing or buried on the weighting nevada crazy dirt road as those off to the side we see like weird dirt road unless we're the chicken wire like what is that what's going on back there who owns that who checks that's the body whose kids that they were the fucking metal in the sex they're looking for watches of people that got burnt up i think it's funny when they find one remember that body builder i was just about to bring that up christi yes didn't he tried no chris titis no comedian chris titis craig is that it
what's his name no twenty machine killed his personal assistant he and his wife because he was falconer i think and his wife his wife caught them and so i guess he and his wife decided to get rid of her that's that's the best way to handle getting catch eating and they killed her and then they took her out of the debtor craig and they were gonna like light they were lighting on fire the car and her and that i remember this guy he was he was so juice and kills you so crazy that you actually was like challenging phil maroni he was saying that he wanted to fight phil barone in one fell brawny was you now feel brown he was young was one of the scariest knockout punches in the ufc midweight division he didn't beat like a lot of top guys but he's a tough motherfuck for some crazy bodybuilder to come along and say that you know go watch that dave money fight go watch phil barone light dave mine up with like fifth
team punches in a row while standing while you already unconscious it isn't just hit the ground and noise i'm not kidding man one more the greatest highlight cayos of all time and this fuckin huge bathrooms head who just lifts wade's thinks he's gonna fuck with that like it's hilarious those guys they get so full of testosterone there so i mean there are literally not even human anymore if you some of those guys they hit those crazy levels of testosterone that you need to get that big i used to work out of that goal jim and his his picture was on the wall he was one of the guys anyone is venice and not a human like the day that have and i think i was in and the guy was on on a ladder the picture the i'm sure yeah that he's a disgrace but i mean like when you like that big legally hany big come on man that's not human it's not you can it's an insult sweaty would also feel like like
little guy i weigh like a hundred seventy pounds and i work out a lot i do crossfit like six days a week and when you're a freak with it yeah when i start to work out where i'm doing a lot of olympic lifting and power lifting and stuff where i start to get a little heavier and up to like one hundred and eighty my i feel uncomfortable you know like losing all my and everything i can't there then there like handy that's also an issue of what you're doing for exercise if you wanted mobility you should be not good but not that do heavy weights sure what i do a lot in everything i do a lot of met cons except but they i'm saying when you get to that body builder size like any size right you lose your almost like a handicap person you know that was your shirt taking your shirt on you'd be amazed at how well some guys can move with a lot of muscle that have stretched out that's really what it is all about like flexibility and it's all there's guys like this is killing todd duffy he's
a heavyweight contender probably ways i'd say ways around two fortyish so on that looks like a fuckin like some sort of action common cure doesnt really real human and any huge he's what muscles everywhere and this mother fucker moves like a cat like its creepy to watch em it's creepy to watch and jump on deeds and punish them cause you like jesus he's not was to move quickly i guess it's unconscious and one of the reasons why you can move so quick as he's a real athlete i asked patches everything i doesn't just do if you doing will olympic clean if you're doing dead lifts and if you're doing like the power squat you time you spend doing that you should spend twice that of my stretching out getting deep tissue massage sulphur two hours you're lifting it should be for our two hours deep tissue into our stretching that's not bullshit
you like you really need a stretch every takes a long time earlier straight i add that i don't fuck around is when i first got into cross it i thought it was cool that you'll need work out for like sometimes three minutes the work out sometimes three minutes really get if you if you're good at it like a friend a good friend i'm is through is three members frahm fran would be add a nun five pound thruster twenty one times than twenty two thruster how the roster is at is we got to clean it first then you go into squat and then end up push press over your head okay so you do that twenty one times then you go straight to pull up bar twenty one times then you do fifteen thrusters fifteen pull ups than nine thrusters nine pull ups okc like ninety wraps or something or how are you doing you done yet you're you're fucking dawn and on and are you that they have that scheme reps game with like you could do with cancer and push option dead lifts which
is a pretty tough one to and who's all just blowing it up blowing out some of them are up to twenty minutes long some of them some of them are you know like fight gone bad what's his name though the wrestler the ufc fighter fighter i and it was dana white did it with the cross that they put it together and they said let's simulate ufc fight so it's like what are you five minutes and then what's around three around three minutes it's and i many three three in them is the regular fights and five in championships and main event fights so this is like five five minute round with one minute break and in when each one in euro than you do push presses box jobs every day and you do many reps as you can get an of these things like a minute each and then you switch to the next thing for a minute it's five things in in five minutes then you take a minute break five and they asked him after like what was it like that like a fight he does it was like a fight gone back
and it beats the fuck out of here but i used to go into the gym without warming up thinking i could do it and i could but then developed so many issues with like bad back ad well let me bring this up then because the night is steve maxwell is a guy that i have trained with a bunch of times a a brilliant guy really well known for being a fitness grew and he thinks that those high repetition dead lift things get done a lot cross red he said you're not supposed to do that that's not how those exercises are designed well yes potential for injury yes and no i mean i'm sitting here right now with i've got a bad disk because i did one hundred and fifty five pound power clean or a squat wa was it one hundred and fifty five pounds
do you want to stop fog around take jujitsu werner s triangle people i don't like the role around with men on the wheel when each ok listen man i do others crash its i knew of a gradual probably like that while i love it your man you it would help tremendously you're so into fitness but you're not even getting the rewards i know not like getting a skill this workout i did the that it was one hundred and fifty five pounds squat clean and jerk thirty times as fast as you do you see that's worth maxwell has an issue with it he's out would ease his issue is that when you're doing these high rep exercises there's just too much potential for fuck up here ears he ease right then and i heard myself because talking to sean waxman who's an olympic lifting like expert you know he's like a national national champion he i don't have my technique me technique that's a high tech thing appear an olympic we're after it has to be so precise fuckin ballet how good you have to be
scary when they have that woman they locked their arms overhead squat it's overhead press and the fucking bar is like way too heavy for them you know they just got up there with trickery you know they so they did that crazy natch is fucking unbelievable it's wiggling over the head like my god that falls in your skull you're done yeah done dead and i saw a guy get crushed by a bench once he was benching and went way over his head and he fucking his arm just gave out that link down on him hard hard goes to his neck neck scream screaming they're run over and pulling the weights off of panda on you can spend five hours on youtube crying laughing weightlifting and the best is the guys passing out after a lift that's funny do like a big dead lift in a fall forward on his face guys have died from
guys have had hernias or rather aneurysms i had a one time in the middle of a i had i think it was an exertion headache or something we're just i knew like i try never to quit i just looked at everyone i went i'm out i'm out because my my head started like pulsating and and it was lot of that they teach you to you know a lot of times we were taught like bree then and there on the downward on the on the e centric and on the concentric you u exhale but a lot of times in our kind of lifting they say hold your breath because it locks your core if you hold your breath throughout the whole lift like bogged down and then once you finish the lift exhale it it locked your core together locks your spine anna keeps more concern so like just hold take a deep breath hold on the way down hold on the way up exhale so i was doing that and all of sudden it was like like i something in my head and what in fact i'm gonna die
i like i really thought aneurysm mercy there was a little many one don't tell me that catania sums that will actually that's the way to go that's the died you're gone unless you like my grandmother my grandmother had aneurysm they gave her seventy two hours she lived twelve years she has said tilian peasant genetics those fucking those peasant genes those brick carrying savages that's a hearty people she survived yeah you know no one ever took care of them out their health everyone was just eating italian food it was always meatballs and lasagna i would go over their house it was just ridiculous my grandmother always made homemade homemade everything everything was fucking sausages sauce and it was just aneurism it was just cholesterol it's like oh wait and a half she lived for twelve years my grandfather would take an arrow it was
amazing to watch man was amazing to watch it was the one time this is really very sentimental but he was standing over and she couldn't wipe her ass she couldn't do anything match had bed sores hit a turner to make sure that you didn't you don't have bed sores heal and she would still get him you know she's in bed all the time just constantly rubbing for twelve years for twelve years and she could she was barely lucid and she would make crazy noises and sometimes she was there and sometimes she wasn't but she was essentially trapped in her own body for the rest of her days and it was hard man because i was living with him at the time for a little bit when i first moved to new york i didn't have enough money for my own apartment and my grandparents lived in new jersey newark new jersey they've been there since like four hundred and thirty is when it wasn't all italian are now become this like hodgepodge of like third world people really poor
people it's like it's not a good neighborhood at all by an extract of the imagination and my you know they just stayed it just had become their neighborhood and they just dealt with it and my grandmother was just in a bed all the time moaning just in agony and pain and one time she says my grandfather like you too good to me i got on deserve you like she knew she was lucid like she could sancho talk sometimes he would say something like that really garbled i gotta want to do an impression of it at a respect but it sounded like someone who was pretty fucked up it didn't sound like the way i just said it like you're too good to me she couldn't talk like that it was it was long it was drawn out is difficult to get a sentence out you know he told her he loved her she was his wife it was pretty crazy i was mad me cry and then she died it was one of those classic things when she died he died a year later my grandparents my grandma six ninety six ninety six they both live too and he died and she went right
after right after nowhere went all the way to ninety six and it was like what else is there no will i mean you know and it's like that's what life is supposed to be it's supposed to be good to a point where it's really you know you're accepting the fact that it's over because it's not good anymore you ever read the book what's his name road man search for meeting the guy he victor victor secure hugo i think he tat he was in a concentration camp me made it all the way through and he wrote this book on love luggage therapy i think logo therapy and he he it was amazing because he talked about all the people that survived and how they survived the concentration camp being like stripped completely naked having your hair shaved off your head put in like losing your identity having no identity and being able to survive that like being stripped of everything in life that you ever had and you having your whole mostly people their whole families were killed were murdered so like what are you live for and i think that happened to him his entire family was killed
some people would still have someone they be like i want to live to get back to my wife for i want to live to get back to my child his was i want to live to get back to help people to show people how to get through something this atrocious like like that that was his will but he said you had i have something if you didn't have something you wouldn't make it any talks about the most amazing thing about was going how he said sufferins like a guy it'll fill a room no matter how big it is and he said like they were on the one train go into one of the concentration camps and like if you go over this bridge we're going to the one where they kill you but if you make like a right turn
you're going to the one where you're going to stay alive for a couple more weeks at work camp and they're in the truck and he said they're like cattle you know they got them all pressed together you can't breathe your smell like shit and your smothered and and it's all these other like concentration camp victims and you're you're in there it's the worse like worse like place you could ever be in your life like like mentally physically and you're going this and you thinking i'm going to die i'm going over this bridge and we're going to the death camp they made like a right turn to go to the work can for two weeks and there was like a cheer in in the trough like in the car the train car was like the greatest feeling in the world because they had to more weeks to live like this they weren't going to die and he said it's amazing like you can be a net shitty of a position in your life but experience have that like elation that so high like and it's good
not a buddhist about like live in the moment i mean you're in a horrible horrible place but you can have these levels of like like that was like fuckin amazing i just fuck it like like like you were remember the high highs of your life and one of them is at the lowest point of your life yeah it's a fucking amazing book i think it did you look it up as it victor hugo or victor i can remember them it's calls man search for meaning in all book that famous book it is a weird when you try to figure out like what what do you hear for like what is what is meaning you know if it is the human mind looks at the future and figures out that there's a certain amount of time let there's only a certain amount of time left if you're too believe that this world is real and are you really have a finite time as you if you billy
this world is real it's funny you say like i had lunch with my sister the other day who's very intelligent she's a partner and like the biggest law firm and we start talking about it and we disagree in a lot like she actually she still believes in god and all this stuff and i said something about if you believe this world is real and she kind of gave the date cart you know i think therefore i am not i'm like how does he know he was fucking thinking you like how does he know comes entirely more possible as technology increases to and in a world some point in the future where it's going to be simple to recreate reality in an distinguishable form and may have already happened we may be in it now and then maybe one of the reasons why life is so ridiculous is because sometimes in a lot of movies are some shitty writing and in this way
is a dude named weiner who likes to pull his dick out and show it to girls on the internet he just happens to be a senator or john edwards he's what your wife's got cancer why don't you go fucking to the chicken shoot a loa inside of her that'd be good for your presidential aspirations you know this is a real john edwards not only that he's on trial right now following his trial they want to put that guy in jail he almost became the president he was a real like here good shot of being the vice president with him he did look like the all american in he's a liberal he's an intelligent guy he's a lawyer he fucking looks great but fucked around but he was begging his camera woman tripped over us on dick yeah and there apparently what happened wasn't just that that's not wise and trouble wise and trouble is because of his campaigning finances he rarely use some of the money to finance her living and him hiding her so that's what he's
it's amazing it's amazing as has scandalous or not not scandalous but corrupt corrupt his campaign financing is that go go after him i think the that's going after guy for stealing my from a drug dealer like right that's kinda money so shitty right in campaign financing the way it's coming in and how a legal and how how all these corporations or financing campaigns he had its the it's the on the mantel problem with american you're right but in the in this instance one of these did one of the things about it as is to very specific wealthy donors that he had corded so it was really like he robbed them of money yeah yeah yeah he knew that his campaign was gonna fall apart because he knew that his his i understand but those fuckers are buying influence so that's what you get you know you're maybe one of homes a wealthy individuals a woman yet bit like if you saw the guy that was financing newts campaign or santorum's campaign these are
egomaniac fucking rich people super super super rich that that have done everything in its on their bucket list and then they also have ideas like you know i think the world should be run this so i'm gonna put money in the pocket of her of a politician you know what this super packs now and the way they they do it and they got their buying influx politicians i just read a great book lawrence lesser god republic lost and i've felt this way for years because i travelled all over the world dune comedy in every country i went to yelled at me about america like every single green room of every comedy club no matter where i went it was like the representative for america and everyone who fuckin yell at me about my country and and there was a lot i see wrong with america ton but at a certain point i start snapping i'd like fuck off fuck off do you buy coca cola we'll coca cola as for the politicians to get elected so stop drinking coke then you can come back at me like you if you're putting me
in the corporations pockets your pain for these efficiency and most people are born into a system of they have no control of entered blame us for what's going on with the military industrial complex i had a joke on my first album about it like english people saying you're responsible for this you're responsible for that or what well me i don't even vote i steal cable okay you're not talking about me i'm just a dude who got shot out of a vagina so some years ago and here i am now reorganization i'm responsible for this crazy fuck a machine and i can't fix it either i'm twenty four years old ok go fuck yourself but there is this is that feeling when you go places like i got it i may megan a documentary film about a cot america the punchline about how why everywhere was going comedians i'd be in hong kong had been do by being south africa
they're all fucking making fun of it i always apologize always apologize and say that i come to you from america i come to you from the balls of the dick that's fucking the world that's where i live and that's a very common thing for american american comedians apologize because it's that you have to you get there and i used to go on stage in england like back around two thousand and three two thousand and four i would walk on stage and they go the next comedians in american and i would do it for fun go what what you want to to intro i go just say i'm american and they go the next comedians african boo hoo hoo cravat both for they saw i'm like now i'm used to it i have to go now nodded see added to some purpose and then would you go up and just i would do s play i now in the beginning i would apologise langen when i first cargo in england and all over the world i would apologise and then i got to the point where i'm like i knew where i could stand out like and i like that i just wrote the minutes
like a euro booed may now now now unable to come after you right because it was finally i was i wasn't doing well over there when i would like i'm sorry you know but when i be like really whose our ally how are you point and ass we you're fucking there will even that mean you talkin about were really man you think triple age doesnt work for the alliance one way to work when you're talking nonsense you mean even saying that i don't know what the fuck they're doing do you know they're doing whose allies where ethical what's involved that is alliance where the line that is i just watching yes you're theirs in pakistan and afghanistan or about day they might go to war with what they were the theory that someone said to me i was duncan duncan trouble said there's a theory i believe he was quoting it but when it was was that the idea is that as the world falls apart really it's your own reality that's falling apart it's just
the reality of the world is that it's really a piece of your imagination and that as the gets more and more chaotic and we move closer to the end of the mayan calendar and this nuclear war as a threat in the back what all that really is fukushima meltdown the the pollution the oceans is really your own reality of your temporary existence in this plane is coming to an i believe that to sort of maybe mean that talking about earlier we're talking about whether or whether life really is a work of fiction i mean i wouldn't that i believe it but i do not believe that that's what i said because i dont know what i know that yeah i've got i get a lot of shit about these crazy what if scenarios where you stop and think about it and you're like what if this and what if what if this is really this is artificial but at a certain point in time we no that's going to happen if you look at what you see now what just look at this the fact that i can get on this laptop
just watch movies and i can and interact with people exchange information and in the graphics are incredible photos or high definition this is just one step in a process that is not going to stop and less real has run out and we all wine are being fuckin zombies and cannibals mean that this is really the only way sid zation is going to have to fall apart for us to lose our obsession with the direction that technology is moving is never go time when we go you know what we have enough technology we're cool with this what we have to do is clean up our mess it is the big but there also could be the chance of a solar flare or something that you or wipes it all out where then the earth start over again we ice age or something where we start from ground one again where we start super possible and then you and you think about if we evolved from not if we have all but as we have all from apes or where aids gave were originally what they came from
and that whole millions and millions of year process that has to start all over again and they might not get like we don't even know it how do we even know if we have gotten the furthest along its really fucked up man when you look at those pictures of like what we have on from you know our stroll you're pissing gifts and all these dudes live like a million years ago that's not a long ago it's amazing that it go from a million years to today and look how much different we looked and every other ape like one ape standing up and by the way there wasn't just one of us there was a gang of us different species a lot of them than ever made it like the floor as the habit man that they found recently that as recently as i think it was ten thousand years ago they were living coinciding with human beings what's the hobbit the little hobbit but little tiny people a tiny race of human beings on an island or they are they may be like the coordinates
words are today none are there they are tiny people their therein proportion dwarf is the ideas that it's a genetic anomaly in their body of short arms no a large had we had on talking shit my pockets the other day we had i think it's toward no midgets would know you got a lot say it out there that they explain that we had the eyebrows i had just as our guest i had three dwarfs it was a dwarf proportionate person who's very tiny no which one is the proportionate the time there are so many different types of it that they were explaining all their types like tanielle davis and nick no vicky and brad williams we're on the show and they are all explaining that they all had i think the three of them had three different types of dwarfism and then they talked about if they were to have sex and have a child like there's a twenty five percent chance that it could acquire like that that and they know all this like the little people of american convention which i went to this year which is fucking amazing and they
study all the stuff and they know like they've i think they've isolated the gene that causes causes is and they know what it is and they threw like gene therapy in every nothing therapy or what you know whatever they do like stem cells they might be able to prevent it from happening and they can reverse it no they can't reverse it they might be able to prevent it from happening and i think a lot of dwarves were upset about this same like you gonna kill space yeah you like let it is like an wrong exit contagious modify the gene to make like sexy dwarves loathing of they did it really would be cool well i have a friend in australia this guy i e a man who is forty one pounds and he's full grown and he is the smallest manual ever see and he's a stand a comedian well and he fuckin tiny and he is a thing i think it's called rima disorder from from right and the army the person the world that has it it is a sister and turning dreamer
and he just looks like in miniature person like everything's proportionate everything even his cock and now he claims it's policy of i would say he's about up to your thigh mid way up your thigh and that's crazy i mean he's tiny he's a funny comedian really fun yeah hilarious and i've gotten them wasted which is fun the guy i must really drink wine one wine cooler smoke spot like it seemed like a fiend and drinks like i saw one night probably have sixteen and tonics and i would he's your long hair too which is funky and i had to hold his head because he puking puking and class i ended up carrying them about twenty blocks home like
i really like you look like a baby no legs to carry him in my arms as a good prospects of farming that isn't going first i am not like a sandbag did you get them in a gable grip first item on my shoulder like a parent do you get them in the gualtieri an odd grip like this you gotta palm out or and the other one inwards really good for deities and then and then i just took my house in there and i let him out on my couch because he was just so fucked up and he would had to get home and i was like you know you don't want like a stumbling or walking around the city what is technically not door afraid he has a single rima disorder right but what does what but i'm scared they don't like the word you know what the word midget but it used to be that there was like midgets and dwarves and they were two different midget comes from the word mid or something which is an insect right so you're calling them an insect and they also don't like it because because their whole lives they ve been identified as look at the midget
and so it's not like it just seems so weird that the name change is going change anything anything isn't really the intent with intent with i agree but i think i think it's like when you look at like when i sit like cracker the word cracker doesn't hurt anyone nobody's ever gone that upsets and i'm i'm one for like i say on stage i say absolutely every word i can possibly think of i have a joke about him i go friends is a midget he's a real life dude dude and he hates or midget he he says that's the most offensive thing you can call a little person and i'm like what about nigger midget and that's that's a lot more sense because it's not like your people are enslaved except in the wizard of oz but the like i understand where they're coming from that their whole life because i've been with them i feel like you got just give it to him just because they got delta and that's going to make you happier that we won't say me that i won't say i've walked down the street with them and it's amazing like when you're with a black person people
worn pointing in this day and age yelling look at the inward but when you're with a little person people fucking point how do you watch game of thrones look at know everyone's telling me i have to that one little dude who's on the don't know his name i should probably look it up and i got a purpose of fucking berlin still the show that got house goddamn is that the famous amos little idea that the enclosure of peter eve just one something like whatever he's really is a great actor he's the best actor in the show will nicky was aunt nicholas on our podcast the other night is in boardwalk empire he's the fighter do you know nick nick and vicky no i thought you said lip nick heat before he's kind of a budget isn't it your buddy yeah flat buy had him on a podcast so tight no john have fun studied but yeah he chokes have run apparently
you know i would do jiu jitsu like i'm kind of with you on that died at the bat in a couple other reasons but i would do jiu jitsu of somebody like ronda rousey took like five other of the hottest girls and it's just like you are a u have to choose one of these girls everyday you could to choose kind of like you know like like the bunny ranch and any choose which one and it's no ge and they will teach you you did so i would do it that way teach you yeah but listen i've i've wrestled women if you're just training if they're just being teachers no thank you i wrestled two girls in agenda i resolutely girls into jello wrestling contest for radio promotion and i said to the girls beforehand i you hate and these weren't you have see girls they're just and i go pay let's take it easy no one needs to get hurt here like i know i can't i can't fucking beat the shit nobody's like you're an asshole so i know they're just gonna club the shit out of me some like i want
during the jello wrestling i was the only guy in it objects in may and the round before me a chick the bottom of of it was just like one of those inflatable pools the the bottom of the pool just on cement their wrestling on on a piece of nylon over sambo jesus and i watched his girl pick up a girl slammer nor jaw hits the ground and i go on my jaw and i'm like this is for and then i'm going in next and the girls are haunting me in there don't we're gonna kick your ass its ones after you go logical if you if you google eddie if jello wrestling you can watch so the girls are fucking beating the fuck out of me i mean look i'd scratches and blood coming like an ongoing com the fuck sound like this is a show not like in their doubting at me and so finally i just was like all right that's it so i thought what can i do i can't fucking hurt them so i just start
pulling off their their bikini bottoms ice and as i listen that's where they become defensive so if i just shown their tidies everybody right you know i win i look like the good guy the crowd likes me and sure enough i accidently finger one of them i want to watch i pick her up and bodies slammer commuters tioga broke my book you blood every endurance broken they were beating the fuck out of me oh wow oh my god dude they're beating the shit out of you what is the name of this how to say i was with someone should i use on youtube eddie ifft jello wrestling down my god dude are trying to fuck you up so you weren't on the offensive you just being defensive here because i gotta tell ya think
take these two virginia what do you do oh yeah you got her bra most you know what dude you tried to be gentlemanly even how you took off her bra oh shit bitch totally broke her nose and she's laughing about it what a psycho oh my god checks aside what what are you doing that situation i dont do it i wouldn't know i don't like i don't like me when i get mad you tried a finer that sounded like the hulk you wouldn't like me when i'm angry i don't i don't want to get a physical cal i don't want to ever put myself in a position where i'm physical with a check at all like that me neither and like in high school one i might a girl i beat up her brother and leg was a fair fight kind of thing i beat him up leader fistfight i won
she was older like two years older and she was like the biggest burnout fucking hardcore like crazy bitch in the school and everybody's like you're dead she came to get me and she beat me up in front of the whole high school like she was just slapping me in the face and punch and i just had to sit there and take it and i just sat there and just took every part like interest i just kept calling to account those eyes woman there is this woman was a lesbian and she was so like a really high level type window player she was she fought a lot a national terms place she had been she was like she was very good and she was in the class and she had this hard on from men like would especially men that weren't as good as her she would beat the fuck out of that she would she beat the fuck out of steve you know steve graham remember steve my buddy steve beat the fuck out of steve and i had to go with her next and the only reason why my instructor paired me up there was to punish her because she should have been dealt with me i was that
when i was like i was u s open champion four time massachusetts state ham and it was a man and i was just a lot faster and stronger than bigger bigger and she attacked me she screamed sparring okay this is not a fight this sparring and she's school and just charged at me and i put a weapon on this bitch why don't you i never usually beat girls up but i put a beating on that girl i didn't hear i didn't hit her in the face i only hit her in her body and i but a clown der i would like are these i knew she can do to me like would double kicker world kick where my love for they kick my right at the same time to stand just get a bunch of shit she couldn't do to me because you had such a disadvantage like i've always was with all we're in a decent but yeah because like i've seen that we're girls want too turn like that kind of sport and em all
women play in sports of your if unique warning that that's fine but in a sport like this that there's a cultural exchange there that makes it like it like football you know when a girl wants to play football how do you feel about it like a go it's gonna get it's like girls in the military well it's like well let me explain it to you when it comes to martial arts it's real simple you don't take van of anybody that's below you you you try we as nice as possible to the underclass will you don't occasionally when you're sparring especially with the contact like kicking and punching someone gets knocked out and but you don't try to knock out someone who's a lower rank than you you always try control yourself shit happens does people run into things or you catch someone funny and it just didn't know you're going to knock them out in the unconscious that would happen but you should never do it on purpose and when someone is a black belt like this woman was went after the i would like fuckin twenty knee surgeries can't move that good and is now you know he's is only a green belts just turn out and she went in packed him like was a goddamn street fight it was there
there is a level of aggression that people sometimes we'll take out on people speak the only reason they do is because they can it's just bullying that's all it is straight bullying she would go after in beat the shit out of him but i see a spar women nothing like that man when spar women she would take it easy on them she would she would pull her punches and kicks she's trying trying knock knock out out there there is a real aggression to charge after me malik screened like nineteen and went out nineteen i was i was half crazy and i do not taking it from some bitch i put a beating on us check my stump in the chest i member put like not not gone knowing how to hitter so that it was more of a push than a kick but to let her know what's up launched her to the air and she skied on her butt and then i chased her down and then stood over and then i let her get back up and then i just started beating on her i'll never forget this because i was it was a real moment of my life where i
i said i am not going to hurt her i'm not gonna hurt because my stincts were to knock around conscious my instincts were to kick her in the face i was like i'm gonna kick this pitch in the fae and but i can't i does agnes no way you can do that this shows that it was a battle because i was in a fight with because because shake as if it was a guy and he took advantage of another guy like that you would that's your thought is not this guy ads on the kick him in the face he's a deserves this but then you go i have to make a concession here because this is a woman so you have to like that there were three times in the gym we're just became all out fights and luck those two times what the i can really remember one of em unfortunately was when we had concrete floors we only had office carpeting over concretely wars and we would spar full contact there's no bullshit and this is a hard core fuckin school would fight in these
please take note tournaments and they were scary but the training was scarier than the fuckin fights because at least of the training you know would we would be with your friends celtic fight you know all their shit in the end they're all preparing and you have to find four hundred and fifty six time when you're fighting you're probably gonna try to is not as good as your training partners and you not going to have to fight as many times no it's like it was way easier but like new guys would come in all the time and it would wonder being just a brawl that's all it was being i can remember any time we had a drive people too hospital after we fuck them up because we would get in these situations where a guy would come in from another school and your usually weren't that good you know and they would get they would get caught your insolent in them the instructor would let them go join classic glad for your clothes would you like to drive we can have the first class for free and we know we were disposed to beat the fuck out of the sky so was like it was completely irresponsible but that's how where was handled when it
what he was out of line and they came to the school i wanna being street fight it will end on concrete was ass a thin office carpet concrete so this is how i essentially grew up from aged fifteen to twenty one that's all i did so when some chick is screaming at me chasing after me and like she's going to like at acme after washer just beat up my friend another was that was not happening but it was it was a a milestone for me where i was able to not hurt her you know is a very important so twenty pounds every than i was totally unfair but i was able to not heard her very important will i was i don't know if it was a night we did your show but i was it a comedy global night and afterwards there was if there was an hour and i was i'd headline there's something there was an argument about buying drinks or something and a couple it argued with a waitress and that the women were fighting the girl that you didn't want to pare bill was our
doing with the waitress at the calmly come there screaming yelling each other it pours out kind of into the street and the a waiter stands up for the waitress this black to stay enough for the waiters going hey you know you need to back off blah blah blah and so then her husband gets in it's the a black eye and the husband whose mexican did so black eye mexican did and the mexican guys wife is and it behind them and their arguing and their about dates escalating into fight and you can tell the mexican do does not want to fight buddies east stand in it ground but he doesn't want to fight you know when two guys are going the black dudes like yo get the fuck out of here you know pay your bill get the fuck out bubba blah in the neck you fuck you a lot of fuck use right you know in a fight you like but you can tell no one really wants to fight his wife comes over the shoulder and punishes the black did from the commonwealth
work there and i see the whole thing and i thought the browser dived down at an end and what i thought should happen right there is the black dude in the mexican did should a high five and beat the shit out of his wife as she just got two guys in a fight who like one guy didn't want to fight and probably was going to get his ass character yeah her husband didn't want to fight back i just wanted to break up and now she's got now there they have to fight each other which they did and by the way the black i got a good punch in on her really okay she hit him he hit her right back he hit both of them as you should copy craziness cop show up and they're like what happened i'm like take her ten curt there's your pro had an extra open like a swing at one that's that's a salt if you ever had an girlfriend oh yeah i've had a couple that's the darkest moment ever when you really oh my god someone is fucking punching me a girl punched me on a set once too she didn't quite catch me i put my hand up just in time
i was doing the show was for merv griffin and it was a law show like a like a courtroom show called we were gonna call it like rogan's law it was like i wasn't really a judge but i would like decide your cases it's been done since then i think paul mooney did it no no i rare does it yeah comedy court yeah exactly and then someone else did it too there was another one i don't remember who the other comic was too but anyway so yeah it's a funny idea it could have been fun but they had a bailiff or whatever it was a reporter court reporter and she was this check professional hot check little worn out little weather you know not a bad girl but was party and flogging hard just read lining it she was one of those girls that would come over and issued a flirt with all the rioters and i mean this this like she hadn't really done anything yet should a star and about and i go one
the starship self fulfilling prophecy joseph said which is that i mean you say well member that's all lotta actors thing and book i tell you before children i looked at it completely differently because i used to look at and go is fucking crazy bitches fucking self promise i would go agra with it right there but now i look at it i see a little kid that was just raised all fucked up you know she was only like twenty nine or thirty years old or something like that and she looked like she was closing in on forty look ten years older than her age and she was his it hard and what probably was a great girl spy wasn't badges beyond love or something there are broken and damage or a little children they just didn't get enough attention should change the hollywood sign to daddy didn't love make sure that's my problem so anyway she she goes out the night before we have to film and i don't know she's nerve ask is this like you know there's like the first thing she's ever done this pilot and cheek gets coke does it to the girl
she stays up all night and she said up in the morning to found with no sleep no sleep and crashing crashing hard and go and full psycho mode and i'm the one who's gonna take these cases so they tell me what the subjective each cases right before meet the people they actually come up with the case i sit down with no pad and i started okay we need a real probably people like real issues just like i don't have to really figure out what this is and what's funny about it and i'm trying to make another sunset in their writings god i'm so tat drove naomi massage king in south korea are going to do anything are you just sitting there go you don't have to worry about it i go don't be tense i go i have to write all this stuff down i have to i have to add lip i go wheeling we're going to tell me hours i really can heal king asshole you fucking asshole i just ask you to be guys i just ask you to revising fucking nourishing and it was just complete
one hundred percent psycho she just did not have any connection with reality there was no rational response to the way the conversation was going you know you sit like if someone says can i have massage and then you tell them that you're working they should be like oh okay sorry what am i doing asking you for massage you just laugh about it like silly me you're the one who needs i'll get somebody else to rub my back don't worry about it but it was like this weird thing where she wanted attentions wanted like sexual attention she wanted to be attractive wanted someone one to dote on her so that she would feel better but she was just whacked out from the coke or whatever the fuck she was doing whenever it was but she was clearly up all night and she was with our friend and her friend just had these these thousand yards stare this just do lost look in her eye like you know like these bitches just been been numb and and came back
with their shoes in their hands barefoot walking to the parking lot looking to take a hooker bath and the dressing room sink and i'm not both so she's like throwing makeup but she's super frustrating because she's got heavy bags under eyes she's just backed out of her head and so are they want abusing using a girl who is an extra they fired are shooting wing at me that's right gets rightly that like john she took us why i'm letting you when you said now while i was like what are you talking about you you're acting crazy i go we're we're about the illness i go why are you demanding so much tension attention from i i go please and fucking just just back back i'm like bitch is not hitting me right now and like halfway and i'm like dude you better your can hand i've seen a hit you the face falsely yeah full swing she'd she took a swing at me man and i got it like last oh my god you're hitting me really i don't understand that because that's that's fucking assault you that's why said that as i like i was a witch waiter even more about excuse me that's illegal i got
so you can go to jail for that you shouldn't be hitting people you know look man a man should certainly not hit a woman by any stretch of the imagination a woman should be exactly and men shouldn't hit men but women you you're hitting a man you're crazy that's like if i went over and punched a monkey or a gorilla like that that thing will kill you yeah what are you doing you're hit a man man somebody i just saw something somebody somebody said those bumper those bumper stickers there's never excuse for for a man hit a a woman and it's like there's going use for anyone to hit anyone yeah exactly unless your self defense unless you're trying to save your life or your consciousness or or stop from beating somebody else up but yeah i mean i had a girl for her doing that to a girl doing that to me is like me going up to alister over him and punching him when i do that he's gonna fucking kill me i had a girlfriend
punch me while i was in bed sleeping on rights i judge i didnt pay for their arrival like whatever wherever i woke up with this just wailing media that's gotta what mine was i kicked the girl she was living with me i kicked around i was like she was just shoot was like out all night doing coke and not coming home and shit home and and like that just fucking move just get your shit out so i come home one her dog has shit all over my house like everywhere and i go and she was supposed to be home she just stayed out all night like i was i come back in her dog shit all over my house and she didn't like and i go that's it that's it and choose a choose hot super hush was stripper and of my fault i know
you know like you know what are you talking about it sounds perfect no but i mean everything sounds like it's in place yeah yeah but we've got it all when you when you when you date a stripper it's like doing heroin the first time it's like oh this just fucking amazing and then this next time and your friends are all shaking their heads did you don't want to do this it always ends up ugly and you're like no no no this one's different this one's different so i've dated strippers a turn we were nice girls but i have so soil either an unfriendly some girls that are dancing but this one was fuckin the psycho years there's a lot of time so i go i go you got it you gotta go yet again and i call on five on putting your shit outside my house and just come and get it and go she done a lot of stuff i was like just come get your stuff and go somewhere gussy that's we fucked up because you made her come to you should never do that we supposed to do is have it brought to her by the blackest dude you know
and i didn't realize the biggest yeah i'm scared whatever you notes if you don't get a black do us a moment when we look at somali hopefully with some fuckin visible tattoos near his neck i i i came home and i was like fuck the dog shit so mad i was like but i didn't do it i didn't put her stuff outside but she came home enraged and i'm just in bed sleeping and she just starts wailing on me what the fuck she cause you're lucky she goes i almost called the cops and told them you had a gun like they would have taken me to jail like we're how crate easy are you and that funny thing broke over there since it and like years ago and i just google to see what's going on the only has achieved this for assault oh yeah i like some other dude got it yeah well some people grow up thinking it's okay to hit people you know i mean
especially like in the household if they see their mom and our dad beating each other up they grow up in the environment and they think that that's how relationships are you get mad at someone you lash out at them like a child i one girlfriend do it but she didn't really do it she kind of half heartedly did it she is at me and she was young and we're both young and she was like twenty i was like twenty one she sort of took a swing at me kind of ducked under it i had a girl had a girl kick me i think the only time i think i've called a girl that cunt her face like only a couple times in my life in in new york i'm getting a taxi that's not living and unless you have to come up with an answer to their is really that doesn't mean i that's executives are you i'm standing on the street neared city it's fun the morning i've just come out of a bar of and drinking all night and i held a cab and you know i like sometimes you'll be stand
then somebody else has been waiting longer than you but they're down the street a bit right i'm waiting this cab and it stops for me so i opened the door but she sees its for me she's been waiting she comes running up the street to where i am and she's screaming so i like stop and look and she pulls back and she's got on those fucking new york city boots you know that they are where the black leather high you know like like knee high boots she pulls back and kicks me in the ship is hardly she can and i felt like a chip of my bone came out of my shin and i looked at her and i won't you hunt and asked hunt with coming out but it didn't even get to fully come out cuz her her right fucking hook hit me right in the face like she punched me as i said cut and unlike you fucking psycho now so angry that i did not know i look at her boyfriend and i
and i look at her and i go and i had like a bunch of dudes with me too i go i'm going to beat the fuck out of him right now he's going to die because you did that i'm like i'm going to fucking kill him i'm like your fucking dead do your fucking dead and and he just grabbed her just come on let's go let's go i couldn't like do anything to her yeah you could i should add her a rescue palm striker right in the nose just an open hand like this matt just a good gorilla lap the knows i was now you know i've aven't these conversations before with people and this there's some people have this really black and white thing with women like you cannot ever hit women which is that's crazy women will stab you open a woman will kill you i know a adieu to get killed by his wife when they dont tell me should because guess what if one have gone on you should punch in the face if you can yeah it's the way to save your life to say that you shouldn't of course you shouldn't go out of your way to do it and you know
and when i say that another have called a lot of women conscience because i've lived mother father i've been a goddamn stand up comedian working in bars for twenty three years well i don't know i just i don't count on stay with everyone militant mean for some for some people you know i gotta get accused in times of being a massage this because i'm just honesty but no one loves women more than may my house is filled with women my daughters are all women have women everywhere and a girl cat i love women i just don't say i just dont like i do this will grow ever my houses have pink but i dont like kuntz i love women i love nice people i love nice men i don't like douche bag you know but it's a weird thing and we ve brought it up a forbidden bears noting in rip repeating why is it if you have a problem with guys nobody ever says you hate men theirs there is a word for it i brought this up once i said there's no word i tried to write a joke about i said you know there's a war four hating women sergeants but there's no word for hating man other than lesbian
and end like somebody there is a word whatever the word is nobody knows but the important thing is not respected now it's a weird thing it's like we're women are allowed to you're you're allowed to say things like that in a week do are allowed to say things too when a guy says you hate women god dammit that is one of my pet peeves like you fuckin pussy you goddamn trader what team are you are a guy gets arguing with account and you a goose i've i've seen it happen men there was a guy did it to me once we're at a club ok this is bad and this is after a friend of mine had killed his best friend in a drunk driving accident when i was in high school and to say net tim he lived idolatry for me killed his body and a drunk driving ass and it was devastating
i'll never forget tim and i we lived in the same neighborhood and i was walking down the street it was like a couple weeks after it happened he still had the marks all over his face he was walking up the street and i was walking down the street and i looked at him and i said i said what's up to him he goes and he just walked past me and the i don't fuckin palpable feeling of sadness and regret and shame and horror story was he was drunk any crash his car and cops were standing over him when he woke up in the hospital and he said the cops something something like congratulations and he goes what what he goes congratulations you killed your friend you're a fucking murder because you were drunk and he killed your friend so he tried to jump out the window and they grabbed him and stopped him from drunk and jumping out the window so this is right after this happened okay i'm doing stand up and on martha's vineyard and there's
people not my cape caught and people down the cape would get forgotten and it was me and a couple other dudes and one of one of mrs guy who was not a very funny guy but he was like one those guys it was always trying to be like it was always try pick women sides on everything i say it was a nice guy he was like super captain left wing liberal right in these girls are hats in the show and their hammered they're fucking hammered we're outside and we we've done our gig the gig was a hell gig you know it was terrible there was a hockey game going on to refuse to turn the game off instead they just the volume down so the games on people every couple minutes oh they would yell for the hockey game it was just one of those gigs that you had to do when you were young these girls are outside and they we are about to get in the car in their fuckin slosh i'm so angry language is i'm just thinking about my friend timmy walker up and i'm like what the fuck and i absolutely these fucking drunk pigs
go it's not it's not bad enough that you got a heckle at a comedy show and scream and yell and ruin everybody's night now you're gonna go drunk drive you fucking pig you know and they were just fat slopping eros and just mutants and and this guy too make us hey man i don't appreciate you talking about women like that i got not talk but all women you dumb fuck i'm talking about these drugs pay ass i go were guys would i be allowed to captain vagina but i'd be allowed to call them pigs the fuck course i would yeah these are count humans yeah these are cut humes her fucking five guys walking down the street and culex clan outfit yeah are you allowed to he like he like confronted it was like i really appreciate talking about women like i've been in there
given him a hue the fuck boston have a lot of that man there was a lot of like i always feel like that's a that's a there's that guy that type of guy that tries to get laid he can't get laid that's the problem but that's his that's his thing course it is and he thinks that's his angle into it exactly and it's so he's just as bad as anyone like it's his it's it's fucked up he's a trader yeah but more i said what i said earlier is really true a guy tells you that is a trainer that's what he is he's selling out his gender for a couple brownie points with women so he could be close to them missus sit by the fire you ve been such a good boy sit by the fire thank you my lower thank you just wants it to be closed and get scraps from the table that's the guy was never girl effective girl he's never read the earls panties offer stuffed into the corner of a couch and sweat honour when you're fuckin are so hard your drip and sweat of your chest under a face my axe in my chest jupiter hands through
two son you gotta get some furious fuckin going to achieve those kind of levels of of cool off sweat what for some do just think they were born in this this crazy life with a weak hand everything's weak their parents their genetics are weak their situations weak their outlooks weak their characters weak their discipline is weak they don't accomplish what they want they know have the courage to go after they want what they want to achieve they'll never become the man they wish they could be so they do along the way has tried to find the boundaries for everybody else until everybody else how they should think it should not be eight and the guy that they hide behind unfortunately is a good one the guy is that you should be a nice person it shouldn't be an asshole hates women i mean i've had i've been around people that hate women it's an ugly ugly thing when you hate all women that's a really gross thing i don't like that at all we've got a lot of those fans on our podcast i bet you do on a has the most there used to have those fucking hater shows well they were doing
comedy so they boot domi rare in philadelphia i've seen that that's the famous one where bill bert went out shit on philadelphia for like ten minutes the best it's one of the greatest comedy proponents it really is and he keeps going back to the time seven minutes and i'm doing all my time the best line is when he makes fun of the fliers the philadelphia flyers for wearing slacks how all the best line is fuck you and fuck the liberty bell i've had those those shows where it's going that wrong and you like unlike none of them have ever been close to his good is bill birds like what he did up there because mine rant will last two minute maybe walter i hate all of you i hope the fuck and i hope the fuckin ceiling collapse like where the indiana state fair you know i've i've set it off but
dated reference cat nobody remembers they very kept going and going and going in going and it was like pulling out every reference beautiful every philadelphia think the bridge and the rocky i s you got real world champions like joe fraser who you worship a fake guy from a fucking movie so if can a mayor he killed it i can't believe with how often comedian snap there's not more video this latter videos snaps man there's a lot this gang heckler videos from me man does one from from last time i was up in india edmonton theirs without the river three there's one there's some some check she wouldn't sit down i think i fucked with her for twenty minutes it was ridiculous were you playing the theater up there were you at r creek casino okay yeah that place is great that's fun they do fight
up there a lot too to a lot of mma fans they have the mfc is up there i've been to edmonton a couple times they have these crazy shows they take like you know pretty high level talent like a lot of those guys come up through there and wind up being ufc guys you know i other guys so they have like a good base of mixed martial arts van up there too and offer we are a is china gotten enamel yes they're doing into it now because the dude the weightlifter sean waxman was telling us how china is he's like just wait till they get into cross fit because he said you olympic weightlifting is massive there he was claiming the olympic weightlifting is like second to soccer around the world as a sport and it does not recognise really in america it's not a big sport in america really it around the world its massive like in russia and in china china withers two billion when china and its a fuckin mass of sport and china he's like just wait till these fuckers get into cross but he's just wake is there in its first thing in the same thing with them i may i mean or they do they have a history because because china
also the way they they put money into a sport like poor you out of your life you know it's gonna like russia used to and though you are going to be a javelin thrower that's what you're going to do for them you're gonna be known as a jail under like the like in if if they start doing the same kind of bring with them i may where it's like their taken young kids look like they have that size to build the speed everything in going right you know here we of time to train you that's isn't always work though will the funny thing is it's like given someone welfare you gotta have dr yourself here you gotta the times that the guys who make it through like haven't shitty jobs and getting to this like anderson's overworked mcdonald's yeah you know it's there's something about that you john jones was a bouncer with a young girlfriend who with a child in arms and that's why they do like gutted up warrior but it's true i mean as the real story jonah's to children and that's it
that's why he dropped out of college who is going to wrestle for island you haven't been if if you gave them like moreover like him foundation is a young kid let's say they had it as a kid and they weren't pushed into it but they were doing it a lot younger what age do kids start like diet it some of them start really young some star four or five really yeah somebody told me it's not good to have a kid to it because they don't have the the cognitive ability my two year old and my four year old choke each other i teach them to each other i teach them how to tap out because they naturally start wrestling on the bed so while i wrestling on the bed i teach them with this is side control and this is how you get out of the guard you don't want to be here because he or she can control you i teach them really young young so this is a of
there there way their bodies moving like work with you see my two year old my four year old they have digital matches and my two year old mount sir and my four year old hip escapes should pull guard fuckin a pretty wild sink but it's just from showing them little natural moves i don t just met a finnish each other but they do anyway they each other the dispassionate to europe the two year old chief it is a fate or a million anko style ruminated show where she grips like this and pulls it across the trick she likes to trick choke you she doesn't oh for elected jujitsu leverage once she goes where real nasty catch lock sort of a joke have right is cats they just its natural than its natural that kid's role around and play together and you know i just teach him out again to let our positions that's another reason i wouldn't do you i i i used to when i was a kid when guys would like wrestle in the pool i hated that because i always had this like fear
surf a when i get hold downs it for it makes me go fucking like i gotta go sit what you think about that guy the dirt killed recently zion the enough south africa go they shouted yeah i've surfed down there have you ever seen sharks while you surfing yeah the other day i was surfing and i went to duck dive under a wave and it was about four to six feet or something i go to duck dive and deductive you did your board below you so it doesn't the wave doesn't catch it and then you go kind of under the wave the waves coming up on me in the face of the wave and i just see a fuckin giant fish shoot across in front of me so it's like away from me and all i can do is rather than like continue my dog dive which would have been probably the smartest thing to do i lifted like back then thus like throwing me and our back flip the board me oh my guy board first then my legs back over bone boom like getting held down
what is a duck die would you pushed the board under the the board under the wave until the way those over you and doesn't take you with it you actually don't take the force of the wave and you get through the wave and you end up on the other side this is on your paddle out oh i see as i'm about to doktor through it on the face of the way i see the fiscal framework how big company and it must have been like four five feet and i went away from you long and i just went went backwards and flip than as i'm getting tom in the whitewater and going through the wash i'm like spock like i'm i'm getting held down so no breath and i'm like fuck trying to get to the surface so i can start swimming as fast as i can and i pull up and i looked back to see if i see a fan thing and its seal and it's like laughing at me you want accidentally ah
the line when i saw was a seal we were fishing and i forgot what were trying to catch but we were fishing with bait and all a sudden the line think i am a giant fish that's fucking big it's a seal but i've seen sucks though you feel like shit terrible what is it is a seal or a sea lion what are the sea lines or se i think they're two different things i think there's sea lions the things that you see off of california right aren't they sea lions yeah no but i think what i saw the other day was a seal i'm pretty sure it was a seal you know it's really fucked up man those leopard seals have you ever seen mostly leopard sharks all the time seal is like doesn't seem like a real animal leopard seal seems exe from star wars it's a seal that's super predatory and as giant teeth and it's fuckin hugely yeah was in that movie happy feet it was
the of the enemy in the movie happy fee that's how china rent which avoid you get it was real nor was it was a happy fear was knows the actual march the penguins we actual march the penguins because that's that's their their main enemy that's what elaborate seals eat penguins that's like their main food there so scared they kill people they ve killed people that they recently held a photographer someone got attacked in mold yeah there's all kinds of things i've got scientists or crazy stories of a dolphin i've seen a have you ever seen the leopard seal i've ever told to pull up a photo man it's kind of freaky i had the shark alarm went off on me and bondi australia what what does that mean i'm surfing and all of a sudden i hear no and i'm like what and i just looking around and every surfers we now have the water and so my heart's be start paddling as fast as i can and i'm thinking it's probably a regular currence
in australia probably a hundred times i'm like i've never heard of shark alarm but maybe this is a common thing on a crowded beach so i start paddling i look over at the guy next to me and i go and just to see what his reaction is and who goes egos oh my god it's scary that doesn't even look real here that does look scary that one click on the one with the big mouth because most people can see what the fuck out of here that one the centre that does look scary look at those fucking teat that shit is ridiculous it doesn't seem like a real animal that's what's weird about and it seems like some something that someone in did in a movie what see that the the dollar go and look at look at the student i go i look at him and he goes haven't heard that law time so i just start paddling it was like and you think you'd like
out of the water it just seemed like an eternity sure and then i got out and they said somebody somebody called and said they spotted like a four foot shark or something and they have to get you out of the water but they're out they're like i have pictures a guy that on to rise and serve shop in santa monica two pictures and sunset the end where sunset comes out the pc age giant great white breaching right there oh my god on my iphone i'll show you is please show it to me and and i've gone down where that guy died last week that's in cape town i've gone the i went down in the cage with the great whites and saw them i would never served their genome prose you gotta there's only like five deaths a year worldwide from sharks and three of them are there south africa's fucking they're all in where they they happen here to santa barbara guy got killed just two years ago if i seriously five people a year in
more people die by dogs in california right but you know what you don't think how few people are in the fucking ocean yeah tiny number and you look at it if the whole world was in the ocean god damn it dude it would be a thousand so if you can find it some guy they talk about your odds it's like one in seven million or seven hundred billion of getting attacked by shark some guy did the odds then like he said if you're wearing a wet okay you look more like a seal if you're on a surfboard it looks more like a fish so your buyer river mouth where there they go to feed your increasing your chances you're alone you're increasing he does the odds and increases the chip and it's it's fucking not but one in ten there lay one unlike yeah that's what i'm saying and that's what i would say this guy so like i surf every but like i've gone logical man whoever you are where they go this places shockey and unlike how shark he is like and there well there's there's a salmon feed out there they feed off salmon or this
i i want this place called green island in australia where we had to swim across the shark pit to get to the break what's yet we just swim across the sharp it where the guys i've surfing with had seen great white and they told me about how they got off and got out of the water and they climb up on the rocks and i'm like do the whole tunnels out there like i'm not enjoying this in the brute icily servant with brazilians and they don't give a fuck and they're just like stop in such a pussy and unlike you so crazy like i actually still i'm not fucking feeling good about this this is so used to the water especially if they're from rio so used to surfing so it's such a part of the culture down there when ari and i were there we went to the ufc and rio great fucking time the god damn the food was delicious they love their me all my god of brazilian we brian and i eat like foger chow all over the country and their there those that that's like one of our favorite places we find out we know we pull into a town we find out
we're always like all its mark this list but these these play in brazil this is the mother lan it's got that you know chew hoss korea style i i fucking i am so glad you plug that india but unlike at nine o clock in the morning a man not even like seven o clock in the morning we were up and we're in eggs world jet lag we're looking out on that seven in the morning people are playing swimming running on the beach they're like so much more active and healthy than americans and you know what's funny about bring and the men dance to like black aids a dance has gone wrong when they love dancing and they they look like why did i don't like that and they like you're an idiot the rider like you'll never get so much pussy by the net it's fun there there our positions in australia and it's funny because there is kind of like an australian brazilian kind of clash and other is yeah it's it's yours because a lot of brazilians canada australia and then that in their day surf in their kind of aggressive and this is a whole like culture clash between the two
but as a lot of aggression on the beach rain yea like supposedly like i serve venice breakwater every day which is supposed to be legendary for four this fuckin crazy localism and i've probably had like three incidents in my life where we've almost gotten out of the water and fought that's my friend you need to take some juga too yeah have your brazilian friends sit down with you and just show you a basic position no one dude was fucking give me shit one day and all i did was he goes okay let's get her to the water i'm gonna beat the fuck out of you and i was like really you're gonna beat the fuck out of me he's like yeah i'm like okay then you're going to jail because i'm a cop and he went what i go lapd motherfucker you just threatened to call you you lion you bitch and he went went he went okay oh that's so silly it doesn't work like that off duty cops don't have like some sort of special license to be cut but no he was being the cunt and there's some local
that just fuckin tabulate i'm sure i wasn't tsar falkiner wraye you cancer faith so silly but has as a cop overdone got by i've never purse had a problem ever in australia though with like australians are totally cool about no it's more of an american thing i think it's the localism i've seen in america wayward why is it is it because there is a shortage of waves yeah there's tully mortgage waves and because everything is on the computer now like there's all these sites and i'll tell you where the good if our everyone's going in the same places and so really only one person can catch a wave doesn't you to learn how to serve now though i could speak a kind of like get lessons on line to other more pierre fairly out it's like somebody just twitter media answered tom joad later on the shelf yeah met kelly i interviewed him one of the ufc rule he loves us yeah he's good friends with bj pen and he trains too that's bj pen i think is the one that did the crossfit work out that named it fike on bad that might be how that probably makes sense
yeah be jason peter nice thinking about making a comeback he he decided to take a lot of time off after the next year's fight but apparently the the rumor is that data talk to him haven't spoken to dan in a couple of days but dana talk to him and he said he wants to fight it'd be awesome if he wants to if he actually wants to you know but not motivated you know there's two bjs is bj the world beaters like one of the greatest fighters of all time and then b who just doesn't who just doesn't fight as well that simple it's like tyson after one a man bj's been at the top for so long you know hard it must be to try to keep the motivation up to rain so hard you by any supernatural too is not is not fundamental growth or anything funky he's he's a hundred percent natural mean takes vitamins and supplements but he's not fucking around with any things can
in his recovery is probably why his motivation sucks because everyone else is probably didn't at well a lot of dudes do that todd duffy guy that we're talking about he's one of the youngest guys that's got an exemption for hormone replacement you know and some guys have because of head drama you know some guys have hormone replacement because when you if you're in a sport like football or box or mma as well when you're getting tagged in the head it's very possible to damage the pituitary gland in this studies that they've been doing on high level combat athletes those seem to indicate that there is a certain amount of head trauma will lead to a drop in your testosterone significant drop and it's not from that abused it's guys that were clean so it's not there's two ways to damage your system well there's a bunch of ways but one of them is that you can you know disease obviously can damage you but one of them is you can do
is when you're young you do a lot of steroids and your balls just quit you just shut them down and break them and so then you need hormones literally they acting like earnestly ask around here but those guys it's always like monster you know crazy looking dudes arnold swartz negronis prime type dudes where it's like there's no way achieve those levels without like completely jolting your body can also there that's one but there's another way you could if you get bit by the brazilian wandering spider that kills your dick shot up ever spider called the brazilian wander isabel spider called the brazilian wandering spider that when it stings you it gives you in unbelievable painful hard on where your body dick is literally splitting like like a hot dog that you sliced and then put it on the grill pumps when you cook it your hard bodies in man like they had in the amazon but it's the most toxic spider known to man really if it doesn't kill you it breaks your dick eugenics
that australia they even have the least i can do that too because australia's strategies gets a pretty bad australia is missing good drugs that's what industrial is missing i have the alaska their brazil unless they have something similar this than aboriginal elixir that's is not nearly as common but its very similar in the fact that it is it's based on conduct they did two elements having nay embryo inhibitor and having a deity that you could take orally i've never i haven't spent much time with like aboriginal people in australia but my next trip over i go about twice a year i've got a body whose decided he was a pro basketball player annie's he now his like his new thing he's filming documentaries about he goes way into the bush like in the fuckin bush its filming documentaries and i want to go with them what one can it i've gone up the door when the northern territory and just i kind of like looked around and stuff but i have
gotten into it most of the australia is a huge continent as big as american but most of the people live along the coast right yeah there's only twenty million people like we have what is like three hundred million they have like twenty million oh my god and they all live around the coast is so great there it's amazing what a great fucking country that plays have i love it when we were in sydney i was like brian what did i say what do you think i would say if i was in site you wouldn't go into that bush no i would say i could live there oh yeah
great place ah i like fun of me because everywhere we go that's cool like when we're in atlanta was like well you should not only say but you would like be on the radio station that more to me like i think i might live in the problem is convincing mrs rogan obviously i moved i moved to colorado i was ready to what happened there i want to know that why you went to colorado i didn't want to live in los angeles anymore yeah i don't blame you well first of all i travel for work i do the ufc i travel i do comedy i travel i needed a local comedy scene denver has one of the best in the country yeah there's a a club called the comedy works in denver and my friend wendy who runs it she does amazing wendy no she's never booked me ever what never ever why i don't talk to her you're hilarious that's wendy how dare you it is a fine comedian i've always talked to there well you should be able to pack places now because of your podcast right if you don't know talking shit with jim jeffrey's or friend and edit they have a podcast together yeah it's doing it's it's amazing how much fans come out now what's funny and they're fucking eighty it's like i was
atlanta and these guys were shirts that said eddie has aids and show up at my show like a whole bunch of where in these areas as aid shirts is jim you know did that google bomb ray what did he do a google bomb he told all our fans to google eddie if tat aids not do that if enough people do it when you search my name out of everything that comes up in the cash yeah and i'm getting back i get a whole fuckin plan but but yeah if you type in any of its first bucket thing and i have given my mom asked me about that solaris arms googling in guyana why at other google she was like trying to get tickets were friends to my show and just type dignity if in any of tat aids kim's i've had ex girlfriend call me and go twins if the talk it's so i did kevin and beans april foolishness last week at the gibson amphitheatre just before i go on stage you know like i'm not a big believers
intros like a lotta comedians want theirs civic intro or make me look good what unlike if i'm funny i'm funny doesn't matter what the you say you could say ladies and gentlemen if that's all i care about i don't fucking i seen them on this you've seen them on if they no i am they know i'm they don't exist going to help yes i hate canoe york tell mom the garden the saturn commercial or on the got to know and the one person that's gonna go oh yeah that's not gonna help you so i just want eddie ift but they had these its interests for everybody so beer mug that works on the cabin in showcase hey you accept right and i'm like no he goes i thought you like slayer and i'm like no he's like because i was gonna go he likes slayer he likes tequila and he likes this and he has aids perfect and i go do not i did i want not want this next to the state
has aid that's perfect you should have taken that and run with it and run with it because thank god he told me too because you know when you're walking the stage and you get hit with that like like when i did my first comedy central tv show is premium blend years ago harlan williams hosting and my hey they're buttercup muffin top atomic biscuits and my whole closing joke is all about star wars and harlan right between like go from his to mine you know they have mine totally script that they know exactly when the saving arlin because he's a host and he's the celebrity he's allowed to do whatever he wants doesn't big star wars bit and that's my closer and i'm like walking on the stage is going down its own i did that to johnny sanchez during a tv table this is hardly original point but i mean mincio did it on purpose molly did eddies to do guys bits ripe we do they're closing bits worried bring them up
listen man there's a reason why when after that guy was never heard the guys here they were doing local slam or one of those fuckin shows and johnny sanchez is a very funny guy and a great deal he's a really nice guy and he had this great joke about a neighbor that actually really happened to him like this is this crazy persian guy who had always accuse people of parking in his parking spot and he gets pitched in speaks his broken english it's really funny this mother fucker does the bit like as is bringing us johnny closing bit so going onto a television show television so she does closing bit tat beyond like like just trying to get a laugh that's like sociopath ec court total there's a pathology there for shorter unfortunately but i but you know i it in a year about a near some i'm hoping is not doing morning he's got shit together now but
the time you have to know what happened is a total acts is total access buddy buddy you know at the time had probably been known comedy like six years or so that's dense fog here you know like you don't even have a good stage legs in the first six years and i was anything through law but it's it's more than that is that it's all fuckin tv aspect of it where you're like well what if i change my a bit now are they gonna get matt because you have to have everything approved can you do a bit can you do a star wars but after he does it is it possible it was it takes a lot of window that sales yeah it really did and it was a shitty joke anyway but you know looking back i'm like we were vegas end me and i think it was joe ideas maybe be eddie bravo i remember but we were there for some fights and harlan was playing at the palms so we went to see him a great guy of stare at every time i see i'm going to say their fella
a friendly says a warm guy anyway he goes on and ease fog in killing we're having a great time also the fire alarm goes on like attention you know somebody was like was was it was it a fire alarm or an emergency alarm i remember what it was like there was but there was a baby it's crazy really loud thing and harlin played through at ten he's that he i've watched him deal with every means that guided one in and every circumstance you know what he is he doesn't get mad about shit he really didn't get made and it was kind of funny that this guy was in the middle of his show and he was never but was really fucked up was we were just sitting there were like this ain't real like a real terrorism joke that could have been fucking you know like oh taliban running in with machine guns and shit oh fucking the japanese tsunami would happen and i'd be sitting there like yeah because i don't trust any like any
they're like we need to evacuate i'm like fuck off most of the time in college i stayed in like to the second floor dorm room who else fire alarm was going on i was like their crazy next because they would only getting down come back up that's better than burning to interrupt their sillier silly man and in trust them no know why you went to colorado so that well i just didn't want to live in la anymore i think my theory is is this would always said is that there's too human beings in one spot i insist like rat population density studies will it take rats in they put two rats in his cage and are fine then they put four uninvited we have a bunch of all these these chris behavior so you have you know rats sit in the corner or shaking and the nutty rats aggressive rats and i just think there's a there's without a debt
you get a certain amount of energy from people you get a certain amount of energy from the people that you're around and if you're in a tense neighborhood you absorb a certain amount of that tension yeah it's very difficult to relax and whenever i've been two places that have a lighter population like bolder for example colorado was only a hundred thousand is that where you were living yeah yeah and i drive around everyone's driving slow no one's tense there's no one running red lights is not all the continents of los angeles doesn't exist there and yeah you got to deal with some snow but you deal with a nice class of people it's because it's people that aren't under the gun and you take people out this environment like me and you put them over there and you calm down because now asking about los angeles there was just to study the people hate people from los angeles and i said that's because we always tell you you know what the temperature is people when you call hurry on me i'm in boston seventy degrees you're wearing shorts there's that but please the does the real issue with why people colony you said they should call it that it does
love me in the side sure and there's just taxing after a while it's taxing and it's also that that overpopulation thing like you take away the traffic out of valet it's you take away the depopulation it's a pretty nice places beautiful mountains and oceans and you know it's it's it's great but but fuck mrs baldi bolder though looking at the visuals what was amazing to me was that you could drive around and you look at these mountains as like this is like if this is a painting it would be worth billion dollars it's like the most incredible natural piece of artwork and its in front of you every day is like that is it yet it is a tangible effect when you can it mountains like there's a place and cholera there really like called evergreen it's a suburb of of denver and my god the view there is insane we looked at this one house and i just sat on the porch and i couldn't even fucking believe they would allow you to live there how long did you stay four months and why did you you leave so wife got pregnant you can't
we were way high in the mountains we were adam where are we was three thousand feet above bolder so is eight thousand five hundred feet it's really high and you you you can't be pregnant up their first of all even regular women that live in boulder itself is five thousand feet in denver it is all a really high rate of premature birth away because of the oxygen like it's that there's no arab there man you would i work out in my yard do these cattle bell drills that i do and its you'd you'd really feel like there's not enough air in the world you can't get any air it's thin like walk upstairs and you're tired like it's really thin up there so for her it was brutal it was the morning sickness was intolerable and then on top of that it's just real yeah don't snow in the area the mountainous and mount lions bears a lot a real cats my cats got killed by mount line evans allow rank it's it's it's not
it's in its very rare that happens is there so much for them to eat up there you know it's very one will attack human but you every now and then could be in the wrong place at the wrong time and you find an old one that has like you know yeah yeah doesn't have sharp teeth anymore but it could still kill you that would kill me if my dog but it's so gorgeous up there man i was my wife says the i've have ever been she's ever known me my life is when we were living you need to go to australia austria is cool but there's for us it's not america so that would buy me up and then as county as america could be it still worlds born to it here i could get used to it like in terms of like if america the apocalypse and australia was the way it is yeah sure that kind of happened to me where i went there and i was like all i could do is i still a family you know here and that's the thing i can't being that far from family otherwise yeah i like arches there aren't went he's he lives there right yeah i got this big house and lives there he's a huge superstar with there right people going there
stand what a big superstar is like if you walk down the street here in amerika would like a famous at like leaving you you have you are you know you're going to get recognized like if you want like a c street how often would you get recognized it depends on if there's a bunch of young dudes with tattoos is young dudes or tattoos most likely getting spotted but him we'll go town like adelaide and every every five feet someone's going barker and and it's like they saw like chick scene brad pitt wow and i out like when you what woody to first started hanging out with them i was like you're fucking like super famous you're like polish you're in the eighties set this you know like like refugees there really is because you think about it like that's back before people have five hundred channels and before people had the internet and or like where you only watch like like five things on tv how they have acted and well they
just lately i mean they used to have don't have cable they do have cable but not a lot of people have it today did they get american channels yeah they do and now everybody because the internet everybody's watching everything on the internet and dvds and everything in and they d take a lot of our movies monte but shitty movies and shitty sitcoms instrumental when it was impossible i give you a dvd from there was different areas really is what is that now at palin anti i see i don't know but every parliament yes he does not exist with the agenda is not vhf now in its devotees alienates dvds so like like what is it but here again but it with vhf there was an air and issue with the two right wasn't area that's always been it's a sick that i believe that their tvs use i think because i remember i gotta multi region dvd chest so i could watch the alley g show from england brands is a totally different kind of dvd if you play like on my mac if i play a pal dvd it'll save you five more years and then it and my my old my old max which
what the fuck is that man what is that bull should i had to buy like software to convert it back and it was like really what did you is a third party software was fucking crazy that's so stupid that doesn't make any sense it has something to do the cameras cause i remember we were editing i made my movie we had some cameramen overseas and then we'd have all those all that tape we're sure any dv at the time we have it ever converted and and it was such a process and the wine there like actually i think this there's more pixels or some in a pal and actual it makes sense that there's two different formats i didn't agreement what it doesn't make sense is your computer can switch back and forth but only five times i add on why and deprived you i have an idea other before i'm sure we're gonna get out are gonna get emails and twitters yeah i'm sure the tweets and i'm gonna wither cool i'm gonna get yelled at for for something was in accurate well usually see the fuckin would count gets the abuse gallagher sometimes i'm so sorry about u s history had just just
there's is a whole chapter lack not theirs you know he's not super knowledgeable about a lot of ship talents one of those dudes who will read a book and then yell at you for not knowing this five minutes after he read it do you realize okay japan to forty five such a great impression you believe him too because he's write a lot of he tells it so passionate he's a great storyteller you know that's one of the beautiful things about having friends like allen or you or jodias or jim or any when you have friends that are comics it's like god damn it it's so entertaining you know people talk about like doing this podcast like well you guys are putting out so many podcasts why is it a lot of work well there's there's work to it you know there's you know you have to upload it like brian has to do the dirty work but as far as like the work of actually sitting down tiding seconds
funny times what we do anyway what's it's crazy things like we never really took advantage of the resource that was us in our friendships until podcast came along in open like when we had radio shows with you would go on someone's radio show it's very rare that you can just bring it all your friends with you on the radio show and put on you know you got to interact with these djs and that was their thing and that was it so it's like you never really chance delay sit down purposely we're going to meet at three we're going to sit down going to smoke some weed going to drink some coffee let's talk some shit about all kinds of things that would be a great thing to do but nobody ever schedule shit talking sessions but because the fact that everyone is going to hear about this it's gonna be something that goes on the internet people can enjoy in then we are doing and the courts
about it like what i love about your podcast is you you guys like you just talk and comics are interesting people because we have a lot of time in our hands yeah so most people have to do their job and that's why they're really good at their job as they do it we do our stand up and then we have a lot of extra time and are our stand up comes from our extra time of us thinking and philosopher and in doing so we all acquire lots hobbes and lots of things we into an we're we're all of a kind of weird kind of mindset like to be a comic you have to be a bit o c d a bit neurotic there's all these different aspects of it so you compile that you got like a certain type individual and so we all have a knowledge base its like we have generalizing not a lot of specialised knowledge the general knowledge of all these different thing yes and then were able to also spin humor into it it's fucking it's like
grace people turning our its amira and i'm glad that everyone people going through too many park has no it's fun on great while not only i think it's really cool that right from the beginning everyone has sort of helped each other out and everyone is promoted each other from the beginning corolla i'm i'm doing show show in a couple weeks and when i'm doing it we're going to record these things or you know i do an ad for his podcast he doesn't add for our podcast that's awesome but we always do that but we already you know texted me said hey i got this gig coming bummer according in denver can i do your progress yeah sure corner it's like we all work together at all i can't thank you different you help me it's with this island that's really cool minutes it's a beautiful thing to do with our our pockets is no line up once more we get to see the numbers on lips and in how we're doing we get our biggest spikes when when like i'll do your show like that's all
when i do you jim gets on you shall never talks about our podcast this fuckin nothing happened he sells more dvds but but i get on your blood talking shit and seriously it like you can see and what happens is it spikes and then it'll plateau for one and then i'll do like your show j moors or corollas or something and then we'll spike again so it showing that like the audience is coming and they like it and they stay and that's why i always tell there goes with pakistan we come on my shown by a guest you'll get on will then start listening to your show yeah it if they like you on our show they're going to listen to you like there's a guy brian mccarthy use as funny as fucking guy lied he's not a comedian we have a monarch podcast and he's just you know you these guys right he's just a guy out just dude fucking the funniest fucking christ
do that sort skill his gift in life is being an interesting due to be around and he is a podcast now on national lampoon the brine mccarthy interview show and he's just fuck it like he came on our podcast one time and just told us he told three were three three the the best i've ever ever heard my life one he fucked a post op transsexual tells the story and the episodes khomeini eat this did cunt and it's the funniest story you'll ever hear because he's so brazen in then the next story he told he got arrested smile when pot from jamaica in a boom box when he was twenty years old and stayed in prison for a month as he did wanna let his mom now so we rode it out you know you know they set your trial but you can avail imposed bail and get out so as to improve he just stay in jail and the other dude was crying every day that get caught with to call he's like no my mom will kill me
so your mom must have been termed yeah i thought it was kidnapped his mom is scary then yeah that's what he said imagine that pot he's just the funniest fucking did so i like that like a guy like that who industry has turned their nose up run won't fuckin give him joey dinners joey ideas start coming on this podcast people realise how brilliant really is because they see on stage he's talking about eating as and touching muffle we don't want to have nothing to do with this guy too crazy but then from the podcast people become like big big fans is now that disease complex this we're real lucky and having comedians four friends for other people like i'm saying this right now and for sure there's someone out there going i don't want to fucking medias comedian as my friend but we understand each other like you know like a guy like you or a guy like colin or me or if if you and i were if you know
if i didn't even know you but we ran into each other in an airport you know and i'm like what do you do i'm a comic i'm a comic to what's right where you gigging what's going on i would be instant like it was not a douche bag monsanto broke that great great fuckin blog about that i'm running into com no about why he hates dane cooking you're not allowed to any more second genius and it was about like us for like it but he said to his fans basically like the end of the day if i saw gain cook in like airport lobby owner and i saw you i'd go hang out with dane cook why he's like as i'd have his i'd have more in common with ten cook than you and i could talk today and we have shit to talk about he's like where you you're a fan like sorry that's a weird way of separating myself from all your than people know about job no no the point stanhope was making was he was saying like that everybody like he had a problem with dane
in iran problem was dane called him a haider and said that he was i'm not jealous of you you know i just explain why and it was a value he said look nobody was jealous of chris rock or john stewart or dave chapelle when they got famous he goes we're not jealous of you were angry with any and it was a problem because they this thing over stand ok on the phone and aid which just then the whole long thing but the end of the day he was saying you know like here's my problems with them and it's a comic having a problem with the comic norman comic issues like you people that don't like day now like you fans that don't like day you're jumping on the bandwagon not knowing why sort of i disagree though because i think a lot of people don't like people because it's just not their style and if you like a certain type of music and i don't like it i'll shit all over that music this is what people do amazon enlightened thing to do now i think there's though now and comedy that so many people are
aware of not just comedy like what they like but the clicks of car and where of whose an easy target a safe target ass he's right it's like for a while then was getting bash hard that i wanted i just want to get on the other side and be like a dan supporter i'm sure people would have loved to bath chris rock if you had like a chink in his armor or indeed chapels he had something went wrong with what what he was doing they'd like to go after him to you know i think when when people look when you're real successful and they look if they find something fuck either part yeah but if they don't find something then you're chris rock say i just use a brilliant aid is all that is what it is not steal and is not now bullshit as you know and i think that's really where it's out because it's not just black eyes it's why lucy tat nobody hits on louis again nobody hates lucy tat fact he's doing under
right now i know you know i mean i know manager you might have been with this guy one point james dick sending a james shorn of james stated when he he said to me when i was a great guy great guy and wild with some of the best advice i've ever had in common some smoke cash under a glass first one small cash under a glass i didn't know i did that he put it on the pin he lit the hash i thought he was a drug addict because it was like twenty five and shit i was like total straight edge fucking you would love to being able to see like somebody smoking a joint around your son grow my eyes and believe me this loser james james said best fucking advice he goes i used to call him i was like twenty four years old just doing stand up and why would i do i don't know and he'd go just be undeniably funny and i go but what about like there's they're coming to see me and should i he go just be undeniably funny and i go what else should i go to acting b
undeniably funny i guess that's your job i'll do everything else just do that your agent and then i i too am recently eyes like you didn't mention you gotta be undeniably lucky till he gives you you have seen a lot of lucky guys and they ve made it big but they ve never stock they don't stick because the leg lottery one yeah he's like you i really have it in the guise of like you're sanely chris rock and will usually also it has to be a passion of yours i spent a lot of time doing things that were not a passion of mine and i spent a lot of time do another people stuff like other peoples tv shows other peoples and was often times but this is such a massive difference which were doing out and that you really passion about you know and putting all that energy in that reward the get from that there's nothing like that that's why that's why real success comes from real success comes from transferring that passion than people go and experience and they feel it and it's pure and its real in one year
data is really just sort of a vehicle for getting out the greatness it's inside of all of us you know whether that greatness manifests itself in piano playing or the manifests itself in you know you're you you're a great basketball player or your fuckin awesome editing videos that that what that thing is just it's just finding that in yourself and in providing something to other people that gives them this energetic reaction in understanding the audience its will after you know if you go to like honey honey you know it's it's not laughter but its other crazy weird satisfying thing it's beautiful music you know it's like that that is what it's all about unless you're doing that you're not going to be happy your finding whenever the fuck it isn't life that makes do something and always seems to have something to do with how other people appreciate your work like if you're a shaft you want people to appreciate your food if you're a carpenter you want to appreciate someone appreciate what you ve done he built this house it only seems to have something to do with giving something or produce
saying something and creating something that other people feel good about whether you're a lawyer who gets guy out of a tricky situation because you really love the law you have this passion for the law like when every day it always seems to come down to how much passion do you have room for it and how much does it have positively affect people that's like how you gotta structure light and that's where i live people get really lost they just try to do things for themselves they just try to get it for themselves just tried to well for themselves and doing so you're like a person is like this massive vitamin deficiency like you're taken others vitamin d to taking those but you don't have any see there's no seeing your system your miss environment love like everything are doing is like a forward move me myself and i i because selfish until you know until i make it i don't have time to be nice but you don't understand you don't have a choice you will not be happy you won't be successful if you make it you'll be miserable you want to fucked up on booze drugs or whatever you're
you're an imbalance point if you're thinking solely of yourself so your greatest work and your greatest feelings will all come in creating thing that your passion about other people can enjoy seems to be that's like that that is a big key delight that it has to be too a truly be a happy person you have to be doing something that other people enjoy as well there's no fuckin doubt about that like when i hear people take antidepressants i mean i don't have any any imbalance mental amount that i know of that if i do it's workable you know but when i hear people taking things to make them happy i got marginal measure not being happy rationally spending your time not being i don't feel that because i'm happy all the time no i mean i'm not happy all the time i'm a pretty happy person and people have said that to me they're like for a comedian you know comedians are all you're pretty happy and i go why look for happiness well if you're intelligent you gravitate towards happiness yeah i try to find all the things that make me happy i go surfing
that makes me happy i go workout at the gym i like that i love my girlfriend she makes me happy i found her you know like yeah my my dogs they make me happy and i go out and hang out with my friend like do the things that make you fucking happy like when people go i hate my job i hate my life fuckin fucking shape i can't it yes you can this way it's not easy it's certainly not easy to depends on how do you know if you swam all the way out to the middle of the ocean to go i got to get back to shore i can't you out you got here it's going to you got gotta get better the same way you got sick is not easy to get back to shore but you know if you would swam only a few feet i didn't get a mortgage and didn't have kids and didn't have twenty years and waiting for your pension and then if you just get out in six years and you'll have full health insurance till you're dead you know there's there's people that like cannot ever pull the to jettison themselves i know i just i just have this argument with a friend who was tell me they're depressed and i said well like look woody
maybe you know of what would be like let's take the steps and there like can i get a covenant water there like you know that's not thing you say to someone that stupid and i'm like look i'm here to say let's let's the past does that mean man wha does that mean that's not the thing this is not you one universal thing you say to someone that's depressed and i haven't read the book about what i'm not supposed to say to people that are depressed i don't know what's going on in someone's head because i know for sure i'm wired different than other people i've reacted different and how much of it is nature how much of it is nurture the fuck do i know i only think that's an exact science by the way i think there's a lot a lot going on in the in the school of psychology that a lot of theoretical and there's a lot of his allotted going on they still don't know exactly why a person is the way they are so i don't know what the fuck makes me happy have you seen the stuff that did that teaches the class on happiness at harvard it teaches the class it there's a class it i think it's harvard business school you can watch of
i'll tell you what would make me happy teaching a class on being happy well this you because we talk about some cool shit he apparently it's like the most coveted class at harvard it sounded like it signs up and you can't get into a cause it's the first ones accredit no fuck up mafia visitors you're happy like report he's got something leggy generators make me down a lot of studies on happiness which is pretty amazing instead stuff like i think one of them was he that after seventy thousand dollars like in america after makes six thousand dollars you're your happiness is not can grow and with your with your finance that's bullshit that means you got bad friends learn how to party property he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about who are you hanging out with dude well tell so we could do some damage with some money hold on hold on i got a friend who has who literally is a i shouldn't
and talk about this i let you say i say i figured i felt i got a friend with a lot of money like our lot among okra and this friend you the money for a while he didn't again then i was like did do you know what you get with what you have and then click one and then he had slipped in slides on the top floor the fuckin win with chicks naked fuck running down the slippery slope oh well fuckin midgets dressed in or little people dressed in storm trooper outfits are serving him drinks us like he and did it like oh no but i mean he just was like heaven he just did the michael jackson thing where you have so much money you're like i want to live in a tree and i want to have a monkey and i want to you know like you just started going crazy and like let's see how we can just spend this money right and you know the next thing you know he's just totally fucked up you know just ah you know i i just i crippled mentally india yearly ended up in rehab and all kinds of shit like that
happened when you're looking for that empty happiness yet what you looking for happiness through substances you know the people say all do your hypocrite do to get the high all the time first of all i'd i take weeks off i don't have to get high all the time i like getting high good for you i think i think marijuana is one of the only vices that i really don't have any problem with as long as you get all the other shit done your life and you you to enhance things i was just going to say but my agent in australia is the fucking greatest guy that's ever lived and my agent gets everything done on all the tiny fuckin amazing and any joked of they want he said about like getting high like you can be productive i know so many men like productive fuckin with marijuana super product yeah a lot of writers be on rich people get you that then the mentality i am if i smoke thought we weigh more productive because when i use smoke it i was better but i just can't
we use at one bad thing that who did you do it tweet me about figures out what we talked about the on the greener he tweet amuse in horror when couch logic joe is my go to guy and i thought here's a guy that's going to talk me down off the ledge like you just need your dear you're medicine my could be like like a lot of people say milk helps you men have like a vanilla from serving in it even if it you have that in your head somebody told you milk will that have milk around you ever have to happen again you drink a glass of milk you'll feel it i started getting panic attached from it and people told me like burt chryser told me to get with xanex and i'm like i'm not taking the annex
with the mount he's like take anic i'm like i'm not taking xanax and he goes you just put in your pocket he goes you don't ever use it but you know it's there it's like it's very silly bitch like i think bird with one to sounds like but no no i go but do you ever you ever have a panic attacking is talk every day and i go what do you do to stop them you guys have kids because i said i was the actual it was our self indulgence has get back seat i was at yeah i was having trouble getting a lot of the like the anxiety was happening on planes and staff and like when i'm claustrophobic and they lock the doors of the plane unlike i want this fuckin plainly i islet flipped out unlike i get it you i'm always that guy there you i've like a claustrophobia thing of like like you could we fly so much much and and and i don't like sitting on a runway i like when we take off i like with i don't like we put the gate no like
we're not going to be able t pull into the gate for another twenty minutes that's when i'm like what is it no that's what it is it is a control freak you got a yeah someone said something to me a long time ago it was comedian tony v and literally became a tool that i use in my life he was driving back and forth from boston to new york on basis that's a long drive a couple hours at least even if you're going fast and i said i go how you doing that every day and he goes i just goes in i just i'm in my car and i go this is what i'm doing i'm driving a car and i just that's that's how much time it eggs and i dont worry about i just do it was like wow that is the way to think about it because you know it's like you'd start to a god damn i want the pll thisthing and you listen how much energy is wasted something that you're never gonna have any effect on whatsoever and if it takes two hours to drive somewhere it takes too
hours to drive somewhere and once you hit a fucking wormhole and find yourself on the other side somehow you know it takes two hours to drive there you just have to go in and it's a tool it's a tool i use now so when rum in chinese situation or you know if it's bad weather or if it's what i just go that's what i'm doing now i heard some fucked up shit recently about flying and pilots this girl i know told me i can't say who it is i can't say what airline or whatever but she knows it's a pilot and he was talking about how how you had to go to work and she goes oh that sucks are you tired and she goes he was like that's why i can't wait to go flying like that's when i get the best sleep i guess like when they take off the event the copilot's fucking sit there and push the button and go to sleep and then get wake woken up you know when
like near the city was scary because i just like if you imagine going in the cockpit of an airplane everyone's fucking sleepy one guy stays awake at a time i think they're probably do shifts but i think the way the auto pilot things work unless there's a situation when they're running the crazy weather they wake right the fuckup on really think it's that big of a deal it seems like it should be but i didn't mean to dissolve you're driving on a winding road use flying in a direction yeah they put it on autopilot niches what can guess i know a chick who is a pilot who caesar and among until it airlines but she she fucked another pilot while they were flying mercial airline what a dirty bed and she wasn't flying the big ones but she was flying like maybe like a two and a one like two seats on one side one on the other and i even make up big leagues she's up there fucking riding a dude yeah i know and i thought about that i'm like i would like that
like it like that if there's a female but of their she's fucking up there that makes me feel good are issued fear i wanna play once and the woman the woman comes on over the loud speaker hello this is your pilot and i already goes what a woman what ro i hope that uncomfortable cities don't do this don't do this right now jim jeffreys was on a plane that it died well on the plane was with his wife or mine and he dies oh my god and it's like fucking leg england to australia or something oh my god he's dead on the dead i go start to smell i go jim what did they do and he goes they like took him to the back and like covered him with like a blanket and unlike oh my god what did she do you she's sat there fucking car
i can't imagine i watched the lady going to a seizure it was really creepy man it was weird it was right after september eleventh to she was right behind on a plane yeah so start seizure ing and it's okay it's okay it's okay this happens sometimes i guess epileptic people they just go into seizures yeah i've seen that my friend jay jay helfer he's a pool player and spent most of his life like gambling and playing pool explain this guy in the middle of set the guy falls down to the ground and starts buck in kick in making these noises and the guy was losing and he assumed that the guy was doing its charter the game because like in zoos will do that to shark you or they'll do things to distract you and he was looking at like wow this is a new one this guy's faking a seizure but really the guy was an epileptic and it was like a normal cure like he'd being in the middle of his day and he would just fall to the ground and start bucking and twitching and and so he didn't help him he didn't help him
tat i had i someone help them some came over there there's that there's a video on youtube i think you can find it and we played our part casts there's a comedian died on stage in england died well off the stage and die well fucking gallaghers had like eighteen heart a black hole stage now this guy just fell off the back of the stage but he was that kind of comic too so they think it's part of his act and then eventually his son runs on stage and and of his like this isn't a joke they'll be kind of a cool way to go i agree you know why not i think you would to ruin the show yeah maybe shark i'm sure you would make a better with your bombing and those are you pull yourself out of it i saw guide do that on the golf course want he died stana guy know somebody mrs a pot and he just does a faint and i thought that's a fuckin coal trick the like like you're going pretty far too like show how bad that affected you right and i'm sitting
air and all of a sudden i see a woman jump off like over the railing of like a six foot high porch jump over it and just spurring down to it i went that's so i just ran called nine when one and i was like five amazon he died said the devil he hit the ground which is hard zog or simply add sometimes just stops man a in new cards driving on the highway bang black smoke you pull over to the side of the road have you ever thought you were having a heart attack and then you burped know i get indigestion and i've got a bad i've got indigestion so bad when i'm like i'm getting these like crippling chest and i'm like i guess this is it i'm going that's crazy when all of us burp and i'll be like
gonna live whoa whoa whoa really have you ever had that yeah i get it all the time i got my heart is like every day i'm pretty double beats it freaks out you get double bass it's it's mostly all because it's like oh oh yeah i had onions on my subway yeah news lions can fuck you oh shit like that fuck me up i don't get it anymore because i'm a nerd about my diet i eat paleo diet and and i them really they just how did this began you become this fitness not me because you that your weird choice of attack is i cried like how did die i irene ran track in college i like all my life and then got into like i was an ocean lifeguard and i was doing like ocean life guarding competition and stuff like that and then i got into like trap lawns and i was always doing it on the sly was almost like i've gotten party really fuckin hard like really hard for like two weeks i would go like feel shit about myself and try to clean up and then i go legs and it was like
here and there here and there and then finally i just said all right this is got a fucking stop i'm a mess like i'm a mess like i was when i go to the uk i've spent three months over there where i would drink at lunch and we would go off for lunch beers and i would drink till showtime drink you know they bring couple pints backstage at the show due to show in the garden party all night and and i'd come home from england just feeling like a piece of shit and and i was like i better do something so i started i started working out and then i found that i was i liked bodywork a a like body weight exercises exercise like pull up push up sit up stuff because i didn't want to get big because i like the and still in and i found the navy seal work out so start doing navy seal work out online and then they said we don't have a work out today go to cross it knows equitas fucking across four things i went across fit unlike what is this fucking weird community of peat there then it's fucking weird
i got a weird group of people the idea is the different exercises every day every day you shock in your system with metabolic this needs combination of gymnastics weightlifting sprinting and an it for its the whole ideas prepare for the unknowing like you never know what you're gonna get like an weightlifting you might do your legs one day and then you take a week break to let your muscles recuperate but if europe mixed martial arts guy or occur or firemen or military guy you don't know what's happening day too so they might throw fuckin legs it you day to andy three like you so you that's not good the not good and one aspect but good in another year adaptation levels start getting higher oil harrier ligaments not necessarily because they if you learn good form which is what they try to teach you is learn the property
nick and then you won't have the injuries and you won't have the problems that aren't you like the whole idea about working hours was to give your body time to recover will they don't like battle as these are if you like i'm a three day on one day off guy three days on one day after it which is what they prescribe but you look at the guys who are now competitive level the guys that are competing that are the top prosecutors in the world up this guy rich frowning junior just watch any you to video of mere gonna go this guy's fucking in human in human like this is impossible what he's fucking doing one of see impossible brian pull up goggins iron man geo gigi i am ass iron man on youtube there's this fuckin dude whose is a navy seal and it's some of the fucking crazy who did i do to came in second at the cross on games last year is a is a cld toughest athlete in the plan at this dude like ugly runs where's it said
say goggins iron man of upper left hand corner you click on that this dude ran a forty eight hour race it's a mile track and you run for forty just wrapped around that's elder merricks nobody exit the us the guy that runs grasping endurance what it is it's your you're pushing you your limits to listen i don't know was environs just two my soul to signal about to see fatima race ma seventy five and i feel really bad that's when you know that's the only time you could find out what you mean is all about what would your made of find out yeah i've seen this dude a lot for myself limits of the human soul and every day i'm trying to see if i have limits
i run anywhere from one twenty five one fifty in a week so i'll try and put in about four hundred and fifty miles a month running usually every day back up at three o'clock in the morning and i run anywhere from ten to fifteen miles in the morning and then i live about twenty five miles from work so i get my bicycle commute into work do a normal work day at lunch time around noon i'll run again days an ultramarathon to eight miles whatever maybe come back
work and around five thirty i ride back home twenty five miles on my bike if i'm feeling good i've considered doing one of the old one off the bike and do like a short three or four or five mile run that's my everyday life so i don't just train like an hour or so i train until something is uncomfortable and then that's when you know who you are jesus in christ there's there's a thing called crossfit and during hold on listen to what say this about this it just never ends funny how does raises where you gonna work my track and your room forty eight hours straight so imagine minor food hours ahmad track is like your sleep you're you're running for forty eight hours semi miles you can go on talking talk about mind towards you yeah was a thing is
fascinated is dues that are constantly trying to exploit remedies of what the long while they were we we're just time but this yesterday we had andy petrarch on who owns crossfire delay on our shell and he was talking about where it come from what it used to be the guys they used to give awards for if you could do like forty pull up like i was theirs guise of blood a hundred and seven in a row now like i can do now do they diamonds rate arm now we do a keeping pull up but i can't even forty in a row like with without even thinking can you really simple do grab it palms outward or palms towards you i go palms outward and it's just like when we jump rob you jump two at a time always and now it's advancing the three at a time and like three swings under your feet each up and it's just your learning that like man just evolves and gets better and better and adapt to things that we have a worker called we have worked
murph where you run a mile then you do a hundred pull ups than you do too under pushups three hundred air squats and then run three hundred air squire and then you run you can break up in any order so like we do like five ten fifteen wait a minute you talkin about hindus glance we go all the way down to your heels your ear decrease of europe has to break the creasy your knee so you as you know you're not your asses not touch her heels now you're you're you're your hips they'll have to go below unique okay and that's not quite as hard as hindu squats but i can't imagine that you can do all that and do three hundred that you run a mile then you do one hundred pull ups oh my god two hundred push ups which we do hand release push ups so your chest touches the ground you release your hands and then go up and you're thinking that's easier no it's harder trust me
you just is touching the ground on every push up and then you do three hundred air squats then you run a mile that's called murph at work out now add to it now a twenty pound wait vest but without a twenty four hour wait a guy in our jim did it in like twenty four minutes and he did it like it takes me like thirty six minutes are something to do it he didn't like twenty four minutes and he did it he was doing his miles in like five fifteen or five twenty your mile he would run in five and though the regular no he didn't do that wanted to twenty pound vest exceeded the dig it goes substantially higher with the vast on but the times are just coming down and down in down and
the pull ups and put in the way with about injuries or be doing more in i think people deuce sustain injuries just like they wouldn't mme and everything else and we have a big problem with a minimum of yours is and i think the interface we talk about that on my show a lock is like my my girlfriends dads and x and i fell football player and he's got to artificial hips to niece errand reason to shoulder surgery choose chromium there they become like bionic men cousins dome he's pretty good he's very successful business man but like like i gotta body is across bitter whose superbowl fuck and ease across but are now but he was in the superbowl this guy's won the superbowl ways one now championship in football nash and high school championship in football and he is you know he's got all these injuries from football but like he'll tell you the cross fits like keeping them in the game because like there's nothing better for your back they say than do indeed backs what her you know like it it that's fundamentally what's good for your spine now you do with improper form
you're gonna fuck yourself up even if you go deep and when you do were deep squat like how far down gerasa say all the way kind of thing where i'm going to mind goes really deep eye because that's where you're going to get your explosiveness at the top like people don't understand they think so i don't want to go that low and i'm like i want to get as low down as i can because right there is where your nerves are going to fire and going to be able to explode to get you to do to get to you to overflowing with a manly exercise letting you don't have an outlet for then we could see a progress other than the exercises themselves you know it's you anyone come tonight what do you want to know my way you know what it'll be it'll be the fuckin panic of me i've been choked out before allow you won't listen you don't spar your first day many learns moves knew you learn possessed with people it's not like you're just allowed to get mall it's also calen told me once i was talking to call because i wanted to take cra maga dinner one night with john mayer and john mayer is a big fucking
magga he loves it yeah yeah he loves that ship and i had just been robbed i had a guy break into my house while i was there whoa i'm upstairs in my house i come down the steps as his black dude standing in my house and i go what's up dude he trust as a wizard put inside joke sorry he goes he goes i'm looking for david king i go who's david king he goes no is this his house and i go now he goes i must have the wrong place and he walks out the door and i'm like the fuck so i kind of walk out my dog was a puppy at the time i didn't want to running around so i follow them out and then i take the dog back up side come back out i got yo dude who's david king and he kind of looks at me and then he starts to run and he's already he's got about one hundred and fifty meters on me and i was like i ran division one track in college and i was a sprinter and i'm like student has no idea how fast is like is
and i'm gonna fucking catch him why would she why would i'm like i'm hedge this it you he you just in my house he just fucking robbed me and i'm like what hell out of when i took the dog back in i go inside i see my pants we're on the couch and i look in the wallet i the pants and everything slipped out of the wallet so when i go back shall i go that's when i spent it after and so the diver incredible no no i i don't know if this is what the migration problems you should really so i chases did unlike like and when i turned the corner he had just disappeared thank god because i live in venice and by bodies like duties the shoreline creepy would come back that night and put a bullet had you and eighty their username through so so are you know in retrospect but till i i tell john mayer about this america's ya to read the book gift to fear is agreed that book and he's like and then go to
problem ago so i tell callin i'm going to carve mcgowan calendars no no not you you will bring it on yourself these like if you know how to use it secondly a gun in your house yeah he's like ie so i dont have a gun i don't fuck in anything let's go to tell people on the internet i got guns you come on housing to choke the fuck are you going to hold you i don't i disagree with count if anybody the lack of self control as a young man it was me it's one of the reasons my parents didn't actually want me doing martial art because they were worried hat was gonna start using it on people that was the number one fear in our house i had to convince them they wouldn't do that but ou wouldn't do that you'd get self discipline but it allows you you know at least if that guy jumped on you attacked you didn't have an iphone or something we know as a weapon in trouble elusive can defend yourself you you put yourself in a better position and its a great way to exercise great weight
law steam and it's interesting you actually learning something alluring like our language the language of how to how to strangle people how to break arms had a you know how to get to play and an you you learn these moves mean think the interaction between two human beings that grappling there's an infinite number of positions and moves in different places to go to that's like the very intellectual digits who is really completely under appreciated as an intellectual exercise i already threatened enough people feel you wouldn't do bad i'd i'd never threatened people you wouldn't do it up and do i'm doing martial arts my whole life i've i forgive i don't think i've ever said i'm gonna kick your fuckin ass i do i do it i don't ada stage once a year how is this crazy i don't ever do the least once a year somebody or push me like i'm like you were saying harlan just like i laughed through everything but at a certain point i have a snap or i'm just i got so dumb at that's gonna get you hurt men come to judges with me tonight we're doing tonight come watch is why at other guy studies
we certainly don't how do you go to tat hollywood yeah come my i got i have your whole comes on their common not tonight have shown that there is not a more rocky apollo agrees that there is no gennaro jammu and i'm going i gotta bulging this great about watch you girls i'm not sure i'm not telling you to get in there and get crazy give a bulging disc some guys brian brian hill said set you up with someone take care of tha listen man fun pause gather flattened leaves don't like three hours man totally rely pretty close to ours and something always dude was good time above is always good to see you always good to run an eye for an eye anytime you want alarming and now i can also my love again and i gotta come in years to come there were our demands ask us constantly when do once a week now so you don't we do it what we ve always i want we do monday nights and that's the problem because you rest
monday most time but i'll take the than off during the day ok eddie if an jim jeffreys ever podcast on itunes spoken awesome please check it out it's called come come swimming we would imperil how do you is not talking shit because they pulled off talking's hit talking's hit i get it see just moved to space i have this very very clever and others hawkins it hit hit talking's hit ladies and gentlemen hollywood involve face this this saturday two shazam headline it's beautiful the high would have improv on mailros one of the best clubs in the whole country it's an amazing spot it's like really in seating it's gonna sell out so if your interested go online and just google you know how to do that when you're smart rush to stay oh yes and they got rushed in those days there randy ragged it can do no story i don't know him but i saw the whole thing and he has no idea the guy went up their went judgment grazing just fuckin directive
be talking about when the guy is doing a joke on california yeah and the guy had no the guy wasn't heckling previously there was no fucking reason or i was crazy yeah that happens you go out there in the world you can run european integration that's why should know you did helps it helps it would help you tremendously do especially tough threatening people once and yet come on son live short enjoy this shit thank you to everybody you for all the all the love on twitter and facebook and all that stuff and we appreciate the fuck out you guys so thanks again for everybody who came out to atlanta this past weekend for my filming couldn't are you guys the shed were were beyond lucky to be in the situation where we have shall ideas on how to fuck it happened brian do you know how it happened the internet the internet yeah but i mean something happened it all coalesce together in some sort of a magical form and we're very fortunate and we we move we think about that all the time we were very appreciative so thank you very much
by tomorrow mad flavour a k a joke idea what the fuck cocksucker he's gonna come down to regale us with stories of old school criminal adventures in and his balzac which by the way grant him kicked off or facebook purple vein derek or that is so father com of a document which he decides this eu jargon is gonna be to cover my documentary say it's gonna this is it beautiful my balls to hanging out there with fucking there's a vein a beautiful vein in my town and it says where i got my balls that's the name of my of my special my doctor my three like weren't happy that his dad's balls yeah you too soon for china manages it's a metaphor but he's gonna change it and it's gonna be the actual picture he's a two pronged attack the first promised show people's balls created shock wave which i guess is achieved then prong two is a different photo that has has already prepared clever we d as is the man
tour with the world cup and yes you in the first gig columbus assault outright first for show in colombia to sort out second shows some tickets laugh at may seventeen may eighteen that's cleveland and how did you find out about this how to get the tides good that's got that tv it's right at the top powerful desk why don t we and so that's it we'll see you guys tomorrow and thanks foreverything can i can't thank you guys enough for you guys are the shit thank you to the flesh light for being our first and original sponsor the plot gas go to jail rogan dot net click on the link for the flashlight cody brogan and you will get yourself a big fat juicy fifteen percent discount for a real good product eddie do you want one i have one thousand two hundred and eleven i got showbox it's okay eddie is going to win tonight maybe perhaps a girlfriend maybe he won't do it tonight i'll take it on the road if you're really braising really i'll just do it in front of her whoa you're an animal i love it lets cross with common area
thanks you on a dog com au and an i t makers of our brain tumor tech support true tick immune and new mood the five http enhancing supplement all the answers to all your questions are on on it not come in and i t please google new tropics do your do dillon before you take any supplement don't expect miracles but expected to actually increase your brains ability to pay this information and makes you makes you talk cleaner it's actually pumps up your bodies ability to produce neurotransmitters transmitters solve controversial but something i absolutely stand by and believe in the first pills when you order it is one hundred percent money back guarantee you you're not gonna get ripped off you don't like it you try it like this isn't for me you get all your money back you don't even have to return the product all right that's it go to joe rogan net click on the offer brain link entering the coding broken and you ten percent of off any and all orders kettlebells are common they should be probably in the second week of may the first wave of kettlebells the the
way we're gonna blow your fucking mind without their taken a long time to build but anyway they're so riddick how ridiculous that others that's it i just want to talk about i'm not even exaggerated you guys of your own cattle davos show you something's gonna blow your fuckin socks off any if that's what you do budget we love you from the bottom mob are black monster hearts we note that means of steel lady gaga us remains now see
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Transcript generated on 2020-10-15.