Hello, hey everybody Um, what we're doing today is a little thing called the Jerome Experience podcast and I don't know if you've heard of it before. But if you have, you would know that we have sponsors in the beginning, and this is that part we're sponsored on this episode by square space. If you have ever heard us talk about square space before then, this commercial will just be a fucking wasted time that we will try to base up with groovy anecdotes and perhaps personal experiences about our our own website. Any Schuman, powerful, Amy, Schumer, ok, she's on our I'm hurrying. To now I mean Timorously Bitch, you know you relate, I may be related skills yeah. Why traffic is has always had a batch arguments haven't left yet

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doing the information, Mr Shaper, and they find out that Dick Party in the mount dot com is registered to you and they'd be like living here. They're like what are you going to do going to ruin our with your fuckin? Now I'm gonna have some dick parties. We, sir help. The value of this real estate began I am entirely any mouth, but he can go to hover. You gotta have a fox marshals. Well, there's so much better right. When was the last time you heard a commercial where you had Dick Party mouth dot com for like tide on CBS, no, those weak pitches, you're scared. You say I have a real commercial come on tide, you know. That model of control boy they fucked up they up with that their shit to uninteresting I watch watching late night tv shows and I this point after all, the the podcasts and we ve done in talking to real people under like long. I can't do it. I can't pretend can pretend the cardinal brain has been sincere, watch it's unbearably painful. I'm like this is the

this way to communicate with people ever in front one a bunch of strangers asking leading questions in front of a bunch of strangers, and you know the whole thing is like this big fake, fucking shut. The way you talk is fake emails. Oh, I understand you just got back from the zoo. What happened you know and then it's like you know what happened or you wouldn't know to ask. Do everything about. It is just so awkward, seven minutes interviews- and you barely can talk to People used to say that, like when we started it like that we were doing it too long like. Why are you guys doing like two hour podcast? need to edit it. You need to change into that, not but the, but the reality is once you start doing it. You realize that it's easy to talk to somebody for three hours and when you really talk to somebody for like an hour and a half or two hours, you get to know them. Like David Lee Roth, we got to know that dude we didn't cut to commercial. We didn't, I didn't say some stuff to him off air.

In between the brakes. Are we going to be back in three to one we're back here with David Lee Roth? The help that all that in the vibe of a real conversation. Errand radio guys give us your just come on. Just talk their silly fox, there's still a fox yeah, I wouldn't minutes tops tops we we more getting somebody they leave. They fucked up the best. I ever saw that Rob Schneider. He was on some show I forget, but his show had already canceled cancelled in between when they show is promoting in team when they booked it and he was so like. So what do you got going to be girls, boys behaving badly, but that's done last week. So I'm just here to talk man, he is a funny, though that's a bad thing. How weird is that it's like the most insincere setup and then on top of that you'll only come insincerely when you need something he rigged all these wires to himself, and he this thing where he's floating off in the sky, because I've got nothing to promote and he goes on it. But then the wire gets stuck

and he spends the next two segments, just above the other guests, really just like hanging on wires yeah to get me down. Eventually, that's actually very funny, that's a great way to handle it. I forgot about that. That's really funny! That's a great way to handle it man, I have been talking to his pike ass many times about this Dan Carl and hard core history. Ever since we had to do it as a guest. I've been fuckin hooked on its podcast one of our sponsors. This days, audible and his his pockets is actually available. An audible dot com be going and he has like he has it. Set up, worry You can get a bunch of them for free. You see how bad as they are, and then you get hooked and then you're going to want to buy it and you can set it up as a service which a lot of people do because

folks, don't realize, like we never really talk about it, but the the band with that it costs to run like a website and to have downloads available. He can get pretty pricey when you have hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people downloading your podcast. It's there's a lot of costs involved and it's for us. You know we, we do have a few advertisers and it all works out, but for some folks the way they have it set up is, if you really like the show they have it. So it's a an option to what to pay for the older episodes lot of guys. Have it set up like that and it's totally worth it? I know that people are weird about buying stuff on the internet, but I think it's worth it there's a lot of. I know Marian has his set up like that and there's quite a few that have an extensive,

collection online. Really it has a lot of value. This should have been won. Listen to this Carlin stuff on the Mongols, God damn it's fuckin interesting yeah we got talk about in the the podcast it's so interesting. I have to bring up an important point that might it's really valid when it comes to like the way the world is today, especially in the Middle EAST. Anyway, go to Amazon, dot com, Joe Slash Joe, and you will get one free audio book and you can also try the service for free for thirty days, Amazon's an amazing service with, Hundreds of thousands of titles- it is something you absolutely become addicted to. If you are the type of person that gets stuck in traffic a lot, I've completely abandoned radio. I don't listen to any anymore, I got a new car and my new card is supposed to have Xm radio, but it didn't you know and the bachelors does try damages so supposed to like drop it off at the dealership. First world problems. Anybody but

In the meantime, I just started using my Iphone in the car. As you know, it all bluetooth up now nowadays and it works flawlessly, and I started listening to only the podcasts cast. Really, and most of it has been this hard core history and then I just started doing audio books as well. I'm listening to to Carl Demon haunted world and its Why we know why just sit in your fuckin car listening the nonsense. Listen, the dumb, dj and radios you can choose exactly what you listen to we thought about it because I was just relied on the exam because Opium Anthony awesome and there on it, you know when I the and I listen to Howard and I would occasionally listen to a show that they did and the the guy for, for I think it's pretty funny, but other than that. That was it. I wouldn't you know like what am I doing just just idle like letting things come at me like channel surfing,

like choosing choosing like yeah and the beautiful thing about Audible! Is it's very like it's like a really extensive collection of different kinds of book. They have the war of art, the press, your book, that I talk about all the time they have to Stephen King books. They have I mean it's just an awesome. Collection of audio books and old shows. They have a lot of stand up comedy on it, and if you go to audible com, Slash Joe, you will save yourself some money. So go there check out, audible, it's fucking, badass, alright, suck it. It's all good we are also bought you. I know this is a long out should be out every sponsor ends. Okay, so I'll go ahead. Next up we're also brought to you by Anit COM, that's o n n, I t and if you've never been to on it before there's a lot of weirdness about that website. You go there and you go what the fuck are you doing here? What are you selling is different today it looks like guys, you have fitness equipment. That looks a lot like weapons, you have maces and clubs and some

it looks like armor. That's now, what's going on folks, does not the donkey diet powerful MIKE dolce with his ultimate grocery guide? It's a company, that's it essentially cells thing for human performance, and I said this so many times that it sounds gross coming out of my mouth, but I'm pretending that there's a person out here has never heard it. That's that's where I'm stuck. That's my motivation with total primate cares is the new I make their yes, the new vitamin pact that is essentially with it with a healthy diet. It's a beautiful supplement. We decided to go with a combination of we put a little better for brain in it Spiro Lena, which is, I got so fuckin healthy for you really healthy vitamin c. The other listing of all the ingredients is on on a dot com- as well as new mood, so be aware of that. If you, if you take as our eyes, I think they have the new mood it. Let me make sure

because I don't think you're supposed to this- is not really like a vitamin pack per it's. Both it's vitamins as well It's vitamins as well as other nutrients and the idea being that, like I boy every show I take for our brains for every show. Before every UFC. I take four before I out, like I am I'm a big believer in supplementing Tatian. I think it's like super important. What this is is just like a little bit of all the groovy shit he's like strong bone, which is a bone supplement, the shrewd tech immune, which is a fascinating supplement based on the quarter, subs mushroom shown tech export and from tech immune from tech support is based on this course have mushroomed that they they used in high hurting high altitude hurting populations noticed that their cows, Woody

mushrooms and be more active, so they started experimenting with them and they found out that it took four of am today tape for worked out man it's amazing the difference. The difference between take. I take it. I when I don't take it. If I tell you one supplement that on its cells, that is, as you will absolutely feel it. It's shroom tech support. That shit is incredible. You know it's just it's. If you're like a hard core work out person. You should check it out and check out the science by quarter CEPT mushrooms, because as a bunch, a weird quarter such mushrooms, like the type that turn ants in design bees. That's like a type of quarters. Ups, mushroom too

I don't want that kind, but this shroom tech commune? Actually your bit tricks your body into thinking. It's got a cold and your body develops its immune system to fight off a cold that doesn't exist. It's a really interesting trickery that goes on yeah. I was impressed for the per per day per month, what the bottles, their their bottles. What is the truck total prime, a package that we send, which one of the one twenty and if I, for those from tackling, oh that's a bottle of yeah like you take one less I take you could tell Let me see how many is in each bottle: thirty capsules in each, but now just go down. Well, if you look at it this way, if you drink a cup of coffee at Starbucks, it's two bucks right. If you want to get some energy before you work out, you grab a cup of coffee. That's two bucks. It's way one than two bucks right, it's a little bit more, how much mine like four bucks, but I got a train to I guarantee you that

amount of effect that you're going to get is a worthwhile effect to the point where you would look at it. The same way, looking at a cup of coffee before workout, which I like to do too, it's. It has a real impact man, this it's it's pretty sweet, it's nice to have like there's a lot of supplements like me and my feeling this yeah, but when I take from tech my, God Damn is amazing. It's amazing how much more pep you have you! I would like to see it measured. We need to do it with measurement it's hard though, like you do things with athletes. You got to know like if it's the guy you to know like what was work out this week. Did he lift weights this week and not do it Then yesterday, how do you know? Did he fuck all night? Did he go to sleep? It's hard to complete, quantify whether or not fitness supplements, because the edge they give. You is fairly subtle: NL the edge and our brain fairly subtle

It actually used to be a little stronger in alpha brain. It used to be have a little bit more of an effect where I used to only take three or two us when I, but too many people had of intolerance, for it don't highlight that woman's for judge dude, that's Rudy! Well, maybe it's photoshopped! So as well. His age and others, a lotta Asians that have those booty genetics, you're being a rude racist. Because a scenario typical because the earthquake, the earthquake, big, but I don't live in Japan, FUCK there's a thing called China a million billion Asians there. I know all about them oriental April.

Your sound rudest fuck on a daytime, oh and an ip, so yeah, the stuff that you haven't seen if you ve been there before, is probably the total primary care. The tea plus testosterone supplement and all the while, not Aman BAR shit. The cash you butter shit so go check it out user code, Name Rogan at any could save ten percent off any of, supplements? Alright, sweet bridges and all yeah? If you try supplements you, don't like it, you there's a ninety day, one hundred percent money back guarantee, and what that means is you don't even have to return the product? You say this stuff shocks: trucks show it to you know to say shocks, and then you get your money back to Fox because

Try to rip you off! Just trying to sell you cool all right! The show you can the Hon can, I say, real, quick, yes, criminal punch line, yeah segment, a punch line this weekend Friday and Saturday with him, Tripoli and twenty inch cliff and Cobbs Sunday and tickets are on sale at the squad that sweet dirty britches, but the Joe Rogan experience Arisha fee, we're losing ARI he's, leaving the great West Coast to go back to New York for the big flooding party, tundra scheduled this summer. The flood Party in New York, the it's in October right, oh, it's gonna! to happen that mother going under going underwater? The do you think so yeah is going to be a wash all the beautiful million dollar apartments are gonna

underwater man, how far up is going to go to order? It's going to be far you guys talking about the is there is without a doubt here, there's some raising of the ocean levels and they're going to have an issue with the increased frequency of tropical storms and their impact on the EAST coast, and it's very likely that there's portions of the EAST coast, especially like the lower areas of New York and port cities that are gonna hit hard by this stuff. Should we saw in New Jersey, they call that a hundred year storm but according to Shane Smith, from vice dot com, who I quote all the time 'cause he's my man crush. He says that those one hundred year storm is going to be placed, get taking place two and three times a year. Two or three times a year straight from nothing from once, every one hundred years, two or three times a year, he said that's the future. He said if the climate climate change happens at the

it's very difficult question: when will they actually many times here now? They could? It could happen soon, but then you mean, like a thousand years, No, no, no within our lifetime the issue is that I could say: we've sucked up the atmosphere so much that there's a negative effect. That's happening on on the planet because of it. Now it's very controversial and that's the Republicans don't want to even it's like it becomes like a conservative versus liberal talking point: why don't they republicans care because they think it's going to inhibit business, it's really interesting. It's a fascinating study because on one hand they have a point that the climate on the earth has changed radically over the course of its existence

that the you know during the dinosaur era, the climate was very different than it is today, and we also know there was an ice age just ten thousand plus years ago, or the half of north against America was covered a nice. So the climate has varied. So we know that with regardless of how humans have affected it, the climate changes all the time so there's a lot of people that don't want to look at some of the mitigating factors, and one of them is this: the heating up due to carbon dioxide and due to flora, carbon and all the shit that people use be known. Another one is more cow: farts, oh yeah, three, so we have a lot more cows. Now right, we make all the cows probably well. If you think back, though, to like maybe ten thousand years ago, who knows how many cows there were, and there was also a- can you imagine what mammoth farts were like like herds- think how about Buffalo?

Think about that ship herds of Buffalo. Think about how many buffalo be their parts. Millions of Buffalo, just crack and farts all day. I never talk about the Indians. The old You know, that's real! It's a real issue in India like this. The population like suffers because of like anywhere If you're living around that you breathing in shit gas, so you're breathing in and it's a contributor to the bad shit in the atmosphere. Its methane. Sane and it's it's good- that there's also there's other kinds of toxins that are carried in and that cast so what happened? India is silly. He used to be the place known for like free thinking and then and now it's the gang rape place.

Yeah right, they went bad. Some something went wrong there. So the opposite. I think it's over population issue. I think, when humans get to a certain level, life almost gets devalued and they just they might just lose their humanity. I think that's why, in China, like with the over population, thank we've all heard horrific stories about people drowning female babies and sharp, because I can only have one baby. You know, there's madness, that's that's absolute madness. You know I mean that is that's humanities. Once you've drowned your fucking baby like. Where are you going like what this is about? If you drowned your own baby because it was a girl? What is this life? You do you stand that we need girls. Do you fucking, crazy asshole, but it's every It looks really be. The ones have them, but they also there's so few. They need like that. So few resources there I mean in terms of like this so much poverty that when

a son is born, that's fine go to work for you and that Sun can like he can take over the business, and you know where, as they, they feel like a woman can't do that. What is happening as much now that, like times, have changed in the last twenty five here as their to change, but I think its change as much as it has here- dramas babies per capita I like now. You know that could do accounting work. Man. There was a horrible show on HBO by people that were selling their kids because China's, poor people would sell that they would sell them up to like five and six years.

And that's what this guy was yelling, because his brother, he was five and I think his brother was younger than five and his dad was selling his brother and he's just said how he never forgave his taxes down souls brother. He is younger brother next souls, brother months old and it was like to you know, sold them off to some white people or something I want a baby. That's not even after that. Take a chance given the money. That's what's going on, you know what people are buying babies and stealing a baby. Well, I guess the whole thing is just chaos. It's just I. I think it's the same issue as the India issue, obviously different cultures, but I think that kind of over population is really bad and might my evidences, I feel better when I'm in small towns like when I go to boulder, yeah or like I was in that place,

in Utah, where everybody goes skiing fail, not the nuts in Colorado, whatever it was: Deer Valley or Someshit. We went to Utah. This is really small to us. Like so calm, everybody's driving, nice and slow yeah. Nothing is getting done, there's no, there's no chaos. There's no craziness is not bad as music club that you can go here, bad as new band is coming up. There's no comedy clubs up there, but there's also like the less of the negative impact of humans, but the constant influx of information that we're getting from each other, and I think it makes you go crazy when it's too much dehumanized everybody, that's how it is in New York, Again, look like a person, you know it's not your head, say: hello, yeah, New York, so odd man,

so odd. It's it's a it's an experiment and cut condensation, snakes, Perriman and and jamming people into tight places, yeah. So many per per block. This part is ridiculous. I looked at some people's apartments on MIKE. How the is that? How can you make people pay for that then I went I went, I saw a place. The shower was just opened into the kitchen, but the shower door was just in the room and the bathroom was somewhere else? Oh, my god. Toilet was somewhere else, but the shower is opened right there and I'm like what do you know about taking this place like? Well, it isn't price range, right now so stupid. So you me or no. I finally found something it's

look at some of them. That my friends had when I lived there, I didn't live in New York. I lived in New Rochelle, I mean I lived in New York and still live in the city because I had a car when I first came in. I couldn't afford to this park it there, and I also couldn't I needed to be able to drive to gigs a lot and it was hard to get out of the city. It's not that easy. So I was like you know. I I shouldn't I can't I can't live here, but when you would tell people about it. It was like a thing of shame. It was weird, that's how I live the newer shell, Thank you. Don't live in the city if you don't live in the city like they like would look down on you. I I absolutely remember. I remember it so much that telling you today like when I said that I didn't live in the city. I live new shell, it's almost like a feeling of shame. Yeah definitely I felt the almost like an hour inadequacy I have never observed observed bias as much as New York, New Yorkers sillier. There's. Nothing like it is nothing like that.

Well players, if they rate higher at the end of your call? Yes, somewhere else will do forget clean in the Zab Judah as Brooklyn tattooed on his back yeah yeah. You know, but it's with the the the I for I'm I'm from New York to in his claims, if you know you were not in this shit, I followed flying overhead every day, yeah, just relax. There's an issue also with people that that it up, because of the weather you're, going to get that they're going to get people cut it up though over population plus insanely ship weather sometimes gets. It gets bad, just a lot of attitude there. I wonder how long it's going to take for you to get your first couple couple days: you don't have this tight budget. So as soon as Bobby leave is I going to talk again. They're gonna guys that's the best way to get the plates.

Like others is trying to get hit by fuck around they people. Yet some people think that getting hit sluggard a badge of courage and I take them and then I feel my own blood, that's what I get crazy. Who will make it out of committee seems like you're approaching this. This whole endeavor in the wrong way, let's just talk and such and when they're not look at it as a whole data sheet in front of you. Let's go over the numbers here, explain where you get benefit versus cost. Ratio. My my has has no blood. I got to talk about something because on the podcast yesterday we talked about this website where this guy Lloyd Ervin has this marketing website. We we're making fun of it, so he called me up today and he was upset that we made fun of it, but I told them I said: listen. We can't make fun of um

let's not stupid and if some looks ridiculous, it's me idea insult people's intelligence and that there we becomes humor. You know, and his attitude is very interesting because he's a very successful marketer- and one thing I got to say is like I don't know. I think the guys had some some issues 'cause. I know, but I don't know both sides of the story. I just know all the bulshit in the rumors here in the internet, but as far as like what he's been able to do he's a phenomenal marketer, like this guy, figured out how to get like way bigger schools than anybody else is ever to do and then teaches people how to do it and it's super he's the Whitney of Jujitsu the Whitney coming? He had such issue. You love her. Do you like bring her up? would your example of like a hard work? Yeah

He's definitely hard worker, but I think in that style of marketing it leaves you so open to be criticized, and I'm aware that personally myself, because of my involvement with on it, because there's been times where the people that on it have made like an ad or something said something that I thought was ridiculous, so I made fun of it on the show. I would come on our gas. We play the guy with the muscles that was like with the girl member that ad that we played, or was it twenty two may talk about kissing Mckee are talking yeah, they're, kissing his biceps. But we don't have the other part where there was like a girl. They might have removed that immediately. Why can't we get I'll get I'll get I'll tell RB said. Well, I don't know if that we live to do wanted out an ember, his girls, past yeah, but it I know that we don't talk about laughter met, the guy we need. Everyone knows I'll, have obvious that send it over. But my point is I I make look. I make fun of myself. If you didn't you, I think

the only reason why someone would not want to be made fun of is, first of all, you think it would affect your business, which is valid but so because you don't want to look at the fact that we do doing so just most of it yeah. Well, you make fun of me you should site. Does what I told him as the other. I told boy, because I like Lloyd, you know my interaction with him has always been cool yeah, even though I think the marketing insulting. I said you need to do this if you're gonna do these things and then give him to somebody to look at somebody. Who's like a critical person is going to go. No, no, no, no, no, send him to me I'll. Tell him I'll. Tell you what the fox wrong with it. You can't make people think You think they're stupid. You can't because then you're funny, because anyone, funny you become a silly person, silly person, you know, right draft to use to yourself, you wrote: else himself. He got busted like writing email and sending back. Then it was this expert that was emailing, him ha ha and his interest in the way he looked at. It was very different. Okay, hang out with this, he was. This is how he looked at. It was very fascinating. He was like if you

you saw an ad on tv, a celebrities endorsing something. Do you think they really say those words like the reading, something that someone wrote so I I thought I was interesting like that's how he looked at it, so he looked at it like he's, creating a bit of fiction, but ultimately his product is legitimate. That's how he looked at it, which is I kind of I see that kind of a leap: yeah? Well, not really, not really, if the product, legitimate. I would say yes, but since the I know for a fact that that guy has made a lot of people a lot of money with his techniques, like his marketing techniques, he's made them a lot of fucking money. So it does so it's interesting that he sang. So what he's saying? Is it like what doing good, not a show not show Disney had that with out of a movie and movie saying? Oh, it was great. It was amazing and can't find out later they're. All Disney employees, Like all the people saying that it's like you're making people believe that

This person is not the person you're dishonest, you, you treated like their fools and then it becomes funny. We guy in our message board Brian, I don't know if you remember this, who was a musician and he started making threads about his music under other names. It didn't know that we could find that out right. He didn't understand, Will that are like not internet savvy? They don't understand that. That actually happens a lot a lot. I don't get called out on that when the okay flap of spam or whatever yeah yeah, I know the type of writing and I for just called you on it. Well, we would get that a lot with with and when we still do when your band people, you really only band there, put in their persona, they can always come back and I always like to go through proxies or whatever in the We would like the internet savvy guys. They know how to do it, but like a guy like this musician guy was just being a douche bag. Like you're, pretending, your music is awesome and you tell anybody. Oh my gosh best shit, I've ever seen like and maybe he's a good guy, but

sounds. People make shit decisions and you might make a shit decision because you grew up with a bunch of Aachen idiots right. It's not I'm, not blaming you. If you decided to write a fucking thread- and you know, make some shit about your music being awesome when it's really I'm not blaming you. I really am not what I'm saying is you are you're. Look your look. Look look at your life as a mathematical equation from birth to the point where you find yourself making read about your own music, clearly ear in debt? you're in some sort. You've not balance your it's not balanced you're in some sort of a debt type situation where you're functioning improperly right. And what is that? Is it because you didn't get enough love? Is it because you didn't get enough education? You get enough, love or education you were abused. You grew up around illiterates. You go You grew up around religious folk. It's something went wrong.

Are you gonna? Do that too, though? But they're weak bench? It think it's because I think it's when you're, when whatever you think your talent level is, is not met by the by the respect is getting. I just drive you crazy, now, they're going to do something that's a really common thing with comics. It was a cop I remember having it myself completely unwarranted when I first started doing comedy hi. This is Bob Smith from the Smith agency. I'm calling, but are you sure, fears a great young talent this guy? I saw him absolutely kill when when you start off doing comedy. You never realize that you're on essentially like four correct ten a ten year path to competence You know and when I, when I started out, I had done all these are the same like athletic things, and I've got a pretty good, pretty quick, it's stuff like martial arts, yeah sounds like I'm just gonna get awesome at this. Just crush comedy yeah. No, you need to

in this somewhere along the line. You also realize you're, you're, you're, learning yourself to you not just learn and jokes you're learning yourself, yeah through life like stand up is a is a an occupation and it's an art form, but it's also a path of life like theirs. It's like there's in creating anything you're, also for finding out about yourself, yeah, that's my theory on white, beginning stance always do jokes or how they cannot get laid, how they can't beat any route right. They always give over the crowd. There were you could you could take me, sir, or Ma'Am, whatever but then they stop saying that because they hit whatever age like. Oh, no, I can beat a few people up here and I get late once in a while. I'm not going to be a little kid anymore. Is more on your style of comedy comedy is like you would never say that someone could beat you up if you thought you could beat them up because that would sort of invalidate everything else. You're saying was your your whole style of comedy is.

Well. You might not want to hear this, but here's the truth and as soon as you start pretending one way or the other to sort of play for some there. Well, it's all comics always do that and it goes away kind of feel like you have to do. Because you want to make them like you said the old so bad the that's the hardest part in the beginning. It's like just actually figuring out how to do it, how to just get in front of people and not look like a douche bag, and you don't realize what you you come off either it's hard to figure that out so, while it's not yet in I, don't I don't blame. I people want, don't want to talk to them about a comedy. It's very rare that I want to talk to anybody, but I don't blame him. I don't know it's like it. Ain't easy! It's just doesn't make a lot of sense, what you're doing you're up there talking and it makes people like laugh like

how the fuck does that work? Well, it's a long process, so long process, secret yeah. I think it is going to be code unlock yeah. Well, that's why classes are gross. That's why people teaching those classes or gross, because you can't first of all the people that teach almost invariably suck yeah, Ok Amy. She was pulling up. That's the best, almost various once I under that yeah, oh geez and he goes I'll. Let you for free ones MIKE I'll, definitely be there all sweet, sweet, Pata, jokes, You have set up, then you have set up then punchline line why are you interested you sure, there's not set up set up? Punchline Why would you have two separate 'cause? It's bearable he's the only guy that I've ever actively like cock blocked from going on stage. Yeah So that story was Chris. Maguire was fuckin auditioning for me hey funder. Enshiu Michel is german Christmas.

I was auditioning for Mitzi and he was going up at open MIC night Anne. For some reason she thought would be funny to let Peter Chan host the open mic night. Like I don't know what the fuck that was all about she's, so crazy. She was so awesome. You know I I know I don't go to store anymore, but she was awesome, watch what MRS Short did like her just keeping. Place alive, her creating that fucking place he's a funny farm. It's amazing! If you have one of these man, you got to have one of these Coco CAFE you don't drink coffee, the is that c you drink any caffeine, you drink soda, nothing, look at you! You fucking sexy bitch, all healthy! It tastes like chocolate, milk, but he's got a little bit of caffeine in it so delicious. They stay, sent us a fuckin shit load of that yeah. You wouldn't let him host from

I was showcasing yeah, I wouldn't I came in and I called up the comic stores and that I'm hosting open MIKE easily after news radio could have been in fear factor. I'm always Fairfax provider that has affected that he'll like see also the open MIKE part, talking with people in the room so yeah, I started to show off at four hundred in the afternoon or whatever the bucket was yes, I was there all night. I was there all night, so it's not that it's the dregs until and then after them. I did like twenty minutes about Peter Chin about how could couldn't let him hey you fuck hi, this- is the part of the show where Amy Schumer comes in. I get a hug hi powerful aim? Issue have see what's up me out without energy in here I lost all the better.

Volume anymore. I hope our luck you pull out here. Maybe what death? I think, tat tat. Weird weird died: did you hit to my father? Died you guys here. Did you mere the other piece shit you him off make some did these guys? They send us these things in their very nice girl. Candies. Thank you presented us. They things. However, this fuckin button sucks a fact stupid button, they they are cute. I so you're like sponsored like a poker player. Now I think so guess They make us look more professional, totally. Ok, good super is repairs. You haven't been to this by now, so we thought I ask 'cause I was going to go when you saw the werewolf. Did you panic, when I saw it, I went something you! You know long warning be be come on on link or disagree,

thing. That's ever existed really so much that the New Delhi ready to handle the fuckin werewolf, I'm telling you I get it. I saw what a disappointment come baby, which is say song over hungover. Did you get your freak on last night? What happened? How should happen? Drunk oh shit, I was like you know. I can't drink, tries to do a lot of stuff, and I was like oh it'll be funny. It would be funny to be hungover tomorrow having to do all this press you think it's funny yeah to be hung over. Like you, I feel like such shit. I just don't care about anything. That's totally like a junkie, it's ridiculous, ality transversely better for my internet. So it's a good move. I shoot Heroin now. They'll know it's only up from here. Yeah you're right I definitely but like I'm admitting, I have a problem so step. One done Thanksgiving giving denial. Did you ever think that, as a comic that you can't be completely enlightened, you will stop being funny wait that I would never be

in mind that you should really can't be like you have to be a fuck up. Almost you can't really completely every should together or you will cease to be as impulsive. Hence ceased to be assessed. I like the idea that I would ever strive to be enlightened, like I just try to not kill myself like how about I just try to keep out of a depression. Okay, maybe that was a grandiose sort of way of explaining. I started getting out of bed in the morning What do you mean you seek? You seek personal improvement right galaxies declare these in clarity, so in and since doing that is like It's always the pursuit of enlightenment, but you just kind of always accept the fact that you're never going to get there. That's one of the reasons why people who like claim to be enlightened or really pursuing like You know yogi style with beads and and are so annoying yeah. Because you know- and I know no one's gotten- it's not happening yeah. I know what I I I one thing a poker so much, but I I remember, like I think, is just pick. Some Jessica was playing poker heads up and let you

obviously been reading the secret a ton and she was just like secret in it like it was just getting far and then just saw all of a sudden. She one hand it was just like the secret was gone. If you lost it all and it was like no you're, like everybody else, there's no trick. You can't control like we're all just going to have to what are in so much pain. What a weird notion, the secret, yeah. It's really weird out. It's really weird that they promoted that you can just imagine that life would be different and it would become different minutes. Actually, that's the message. I mean they obviously there's more to it and that's our own normal talk. I go. I know what you say because actually lot of good thought what's in there. Well, there is this interesting ideas in there this also misinterpret Quantum physics like the way the misinterpret the way like the observer see. I saw that documentary the first one, the the secret, and then there was another one like through the through the not through the other

He suddenly that they have this doktor. They grids is doctor quantum theory where they show you that in measuring these quantum particles it actually changes. The behavior of the particles actually have someone is someone is observing what's happening, but that's not what it is. It's a lie What it is is the measuring of it itself changes the reaction cause your measuring. It was something you're, sorry, yes. These quantum particles are cut this somehow another measured and in measuring them. You change their behavior because you're interfering I. My hang over right now well. I know that my entangling as to exactly so all these people to feel like you can change things by looking at them are just crazy. They just want to be how to control everything like wizards while they love the idea of things being magic. You know people love the idea of being able to literally wish your way to a dream life.

All about control. I had a photo of a house. Three years later I was living in it. Have you insisted their conversations like that, like from real people being like? This? Is a picture of my house I'm going to live in and you're like your reach. That was a sweet girl who who, without think friends with Kelly Kirsten she, sugar into killing person, should come combat Kelly persons Comic could have been at one point I might have had won the funny sets of ever seen in my life now really does make me he'll hit the height. I thought she was going to do so. We know that's the book yeah, that's it secret number, or a friend comes round and nice person, but she's like telling everybody was a weird things wasn't bragging She was telling everyone like what was what was going to happen. You know I'm going to be married, I'm going to have a child and I'm going to have a successful

and we were like ok what how is that going to happen? Do you have a boyfriend? She goes. No. I have just seen the secret and I have decided to live my life through its principles and it totally works. It's amazing and I go really. She goes already. I feel my life getting better I'm definitely moving in the right direction. All this is going to happen, I'm completely clear, so I'm ready for a healthy relationship when you're ready for a healthy relationship that's when it finds you, so she saying all suffer my. Why are they? We call it was really which was very nice, so wasn't a negative conversational. So then, see her like the last. I spoke better in that conversation that I don't see her again until, like maybe a year and a half later she comes to the you Ucb and I'm doing d, so she comes by and I'm like, hey how you doing she was. We came to see your set, and this at I go. Oh yeah, I go thanks for coming. I go last time I talked to you

I'm like really into the speaker like. What's going on and should I go, I would love to hear like your progress. Just like I don't know why it's not. Oh man, I you're going to say like can't, get people out of my life, I want out of my life and my father got sir, and I know I didn't ask for that, as you can I'm much for all the world. It's like you know. Just you know like I got something to do with you, but it was fascinating because, like in the context of my life, it was like you know how people that come in out of your life. Well, not seeing this person like, know how this conversation with there seeing are a year and a half plus whatever was later and then here's the results. It was like. I get to the two of them together and we. Yeah, but not enough to have a conversation with pouring. I think she like a people that are really into get sucked into cults and a lot of people that get sucked into religions or yoga or whatever they get like some people like me,

something to excite them to believe in some new piece of information. Some Amazing. I didn't all my life. I've been living without knowledge. That is that I in control of my destiny. I create my universe, God you just want to tell those people. I've heard you before I've heard people exactly like you before. I'm sorry, if I'm not going to get into it, but he can't be rude. If you do that raids annoying when people they when they find something that there they look at you you're you, you get a well! You are, or they have held about. Russia has the ruddy living well that that kind of like smoke like you're you're, still where you are but yeah I was doing this meetings should come like that. I hope you're like now, that's cool have fun. Was this thing for for vh1?

there's a girl working, there seems so nice seems so like normal and friendly, and her sister was such like. Like religious freak that she, she was actually the first person that I have ever met my life, who believed in Satan and she's, telling me that the reason why I can't see Satan the Saint scales were over my eye and yeah hook. But you really have sessions for people. Well, I'm at like peace, I'm fascinated by people. If I get a chance to talk to someone who actually is like that nutty, but it was funny, I feel bad for you for real. I feel bad for you for real. You don't believe that wow. I can't believe you don't believe that, like it was so strange 'cause, I was like totally like dead facing the whole thing like as if I was like watching like a show like huh yeah, just like serving here, because in her mind by making me feel bad like like, like whenever anybody laughs,

trying to make you feel bad like it's like yeah. Why do they do little things like that, trying to their socially wrestling you're socially wrestling? They try to take you down right an whenever someone does that it's like that. Only works. If you don't know what it is like so soon as you know what it is, that is just silly. It's just like a social cues. It's like it's like just the most infuriating thing and that's also their way of saying, and I don't think you know what this means yeah yeah cat. It really is. Is it's one of the grossest things ever you know, and and and people that pretend that they have secret information? You know you're you're, pretending what you've got to some secret knowledge. Anything of this one m c on the road those were going here. There is a feature and he would and you come out and he would like take his time and bring his coffee on stage with him before you go before me and but pretend they be like he lay low on this. To only be like, so would worry from.

Like he's working, the crowd and I'm just like dude come on and he'd come and he'd be, like you come to me and be like you'll enjoy them, and I'm like what yeah outta here yeah? Well, I think it's gross. It's gotta be gross for you to have like these. Do she guys that trip on the fact that you're headlining everyone thinks that they should be headlining there, so annoyed that I am I just I'm just like ok, yeah, I'm, like God, you should be headlining like I'll. Just sometimes you applied yeah Do you want to go back? If you want me to bring you back up, I'll bring you back. Why don't you just bring your own people on the road? No, now I do that guy. I learned my list because I kept getting paired with him. I show in Virginia and be like but you know you try to try to bring your own person early in the game and their does just like. No here's, your thousand thousand dollars for eight shows and we're pairing you at the club owner. Nephew. It twice he's gonna. Do thirty.

However, had road acts either one of you that try to sabotage you, I think every everybody everybody before you is essentially just try. It it's a complex plot to sabotage re. Really. They all got together that the this area, the guy that guy and then people who will go up the way they bring you up. If somebody wants to sabotage me, the most aggressive moves so I hope you guys are ready for a lady trying to sabotage your just, not by the way. If I ever bring you up now, you know I'm saying you know this is the show just that you can. If I ever area position to bring you up right folks, are you ready for a lady likes ovaries and the crowd just prepares, bored and to go to the bathroom, and it's just so mean lot a lot of times. Even some, even sometimes girls will do it like this next girl. She is a funny.

Lemon, just all the words, the trigger words, people that make them upset and angry with you. When were you even more complicated, I yeah. Is it just a sign that they're not accepting you they're, treating you differently, yeah they're, trying to be. You know that of aggressive yeah. Well, that's how you taken it. I think also they feel like some do. Just don't know what the fuck they're saying stammering up there. Ok, there's a lot here ready for a lady like you might not even make it to grass. If a girl doesn't it's aggressive because she knows She no yeah, but they don't people going after you. You know you you like come at the MC and maybe someone you know, you'll make a joke about them. You know you'll be like all right. I agree. Try if I can, whatever it just as it and then you do your whole hour and then they come back up and they make reference to what you said an hour ago, yeah, yeah and you're like you've been thinking about saying. An hour, girls, girls, other girls,

I dont know, I might add friends or female comic, so No, no, I mean it You know what it is real competitive like in a spa, locker room or the gym locker room. There's just there's something in the air like already the fucking kill each other through I'm not. I don't know why that ITALY and then lifetimes letting the spa or you know, but not at the where I box there. You go no, no business Christ yeah right girl like we're all like sort of trying to like get ready after we worked out and but then there was like this one big black check in at the end of this other, like anyway check- and we are yeah- and she was just annoying and she's on her phone. So anyway, she leaves, and then I'm like you trying to bond with the black check, like we and I'm just like, I'm my god that girl right and she's like oh, I didn't mind her and I'm like shit,

yeah my come on and then she goes. I say She certainly came around but as you know, that girl was the worse. So all reach out. You know in the locker, but there's just lake is an air there's just something in the air where you're just like yeah, I don't it all. All girls are trying to improve themselves as well like a self improvement place, because it's a now Kim is a self improvement but yeah, but you know girls that go there. They're, like they're, trying to get my anger out trying to get some stuff out. Maybe it's not yeah is a little tension in aggressive environment. Sure it's it's in a spot rely, Ok, that's really really happy! That makes more sense than a boxing gym. 'cause you're going to get naturally get aggressive women. I think at a boxing gym or a higher percentage of What about Jim for men, like four million I mma gyms gems. They they, this aggressive people there for the most part, no most poor people chill out because they train

yeah. When you train a lot, you get all your animosity and anger out that way. It's like the people that are actually like some of the nicest people I know are martial artists, totaly, yeah, yeah, the guys who I know that, but chicks in a spot, that's weird there's just something even like in an elevator. You can join us. Is it just you? Is it possible? I don't think that's. It's totally. I've had a dog. What is that I want to be the only possible. You say that, but the reason why you guys have coinciding menstrual cycles is model yeah. What's that than what that is actually gonna be like you've never talked to a man or what does he booted you? Why? Your toes colon? You have painted nails. What is that's ridiculous? That's not what your nails look like that

Yeah! I don't well, it's hormonal, the hormonal thing, it's a chemical thing, yeah the hate that women have for each other is hormonal such a bummer, but my best friends, honestly, my favorite people to be around or female comic. What about us bitch? I really take it or leave it with you, guys, so rude, but true by as well! Yeah and cords wrapped you out some things going on here. I don't know it's hard moving. You don't know what you're doing I help run in and take care of you just climb on there. You got an assistant finger in the sun assistant, yeah, don't lie to him, works guys is that well derogatory term to saying assistant, I don't know you feel slighted. This is what I think. I think that people shouldn't shouldn't have labels. They were going to Ok, ok, let's never, label anyone anymore! No people like like working in a place where you discuss just a worker guy, just doing a shift, we're all working together,

the guy asserting that are here as a job or experience enterprise. You don't see collar and no deviation, but I don't see any always email. Your car, Jamie Scam, listen you're, the one who had to go through five fucking pay me. So you get it. I knew it. I knew it look. I know you're amazing. You do I mean really hard exact percentages. You figure it out. And she's, like I'm, just give I'm like! No, you don't understand it's not going to be. Okay! She's, like it'll, be fine what you wanted my number yeah I was now. I can't publishers are for the most part. Annoying towards this. Most of them are really brutal. I miss the word that but my is actually really cool guy in my last publicist is actually vertical. You know I don't like labels. I just can't I've had a slight twice tat wise. Why twice at me

Where am I supposed to go at ten m, I I want to do daily show on I set it is this not the show, not anymore, really hung over or or or we just still influence, Jon Stewart gets here now I don't drink much, but I will try to have like I don't drink everyday. That's very sad how you rocking it! No! I can't I have to like schedule when I can drink. Are you in the jet Jack Daniels or you just want beer No, I was molested him. I do like, like the feeling of being a little buzzed yeah, so bad for your body that- and I feel like like I knew I haven't- I haven't drank before last night for awhile, because I was getting ready for Chet. You know generally Getting ready, show your face, ready to your show, airs on comedy central when tonight What's it called inside, he resumed

they're going to tell us about my mind online or in my way that you want to do the mind of Aimee Humour, but that was already used by someone I wanted to. I wanted to be called come inside with Amy Humor carry Central, that's not the point I said no, we were like look. Let me tell you something that Liz Phair Song hot White come it's like one of the greatest songs ever there's nothing wrong with the node to come what how heard you spheres like now. Much like its basic yeah. It is fucking great great son I love really. You never heard it now is that utilities utilities are blurred, are blurred, one of was it really yeah? Was it really yeah. That is, that big J joke that scene, I back out of a gang Bang and James, like later and later like wait. Why are you so cool with leaving he's like you're, no Whitney

Oh, my god, this guy was telling me some of the stuff that you guys brought together. It's tough guy yeah he's awesome, but he was saying how you have a really good being able to cook with yourself. Oh yeah, yeah yeah. I I mean God there is no yeah he's like he's like you're. Just not my type yeah and then this guy tells me it's a it's on our third date. Are you? Are you enjoying the process like tells of making a show? Yeah yeah I mean it was so much work What is it in a car? It's not like being a comic, or I thought that was a lot of work. This is like ridiculous, big fucking difference like when. Do you know if you get another season, I'm like when I slit my wrists, like I'm so tired,

You want to do it again, or would you rather just do stand up? I mean I don't know it's that work that much work. It's so much work. It has a lot of work to do a show. I like really like the show we made though, but it's so much fun. It's just to stand up. Isn't it yeah? It's your own show, though you get this thing, I'm proud of that that's awesome, but I just like. I have nothing left in me. I'm like well, isn't that why you do so, you do and then you take some time off and go to can picture taken by in your underwear. Oops, I did another photographer that I paid was there. Why am I in my underwear in the Bahamas? You want to get some press. That would not be smart for me. Good browser, so wrong around listen, you need to work, Tyler Durden do, and I just have like my leg over my head like well, I'm at the cash bringing yourself in front of your Iphone. It's just like a couple fingers.

Do a vine create myself like a bowling ball and a video, a vine where it yourself with the camera right there. You know what I really don't think that that would. I think that would help me. It would help you to your Canadian me you're, a comic you not some fly some chick. That's on the view shells. Actually, I've I've been gas toasted, are not giving. Are you serious? That's hilarious, Is that crazy white lady still on that fucking wants? well just getting. What's in the lady lady she's, how she yells when she's in an argument. That's the best part. She her points angry she yells her. I wonder. If harshly I mean they're they're booking me more now. I wonder if I ever get into it with that pollute. I merely want to do a good job, but listen you haven't gotten into it without Elizabeth Chick. Yet now are you being nice or something yeah, it's worth

he's other come on, is must have said something that makes you want to like. Would no, I agree with all of her use an eye of the same views. Wow include, reviews are Mexicans, I love Mexicans. We not Mexicans. What are the ones who live in Miami called Cuba? Those those are the best again, I don't really like any other god. Listen any other. This place feels like Mexico spot where at just like decorations, like this to go where the fuck you been in Mexico, just see red velvet walls and and dead end. Let's go. Let's go like this is like home. This is like spring break. This is where I stay in Cancun. Did you see that video on the mexican drug Lord cut his girlfriend's head off you know, yeah show the cutting out all night yeah with a knife was on you too. We got pulled off at least on my crime. Why they

you? Don't want to watch it? It's super graphic yeah holds her head up to the camera and everything. My point is Mexico is fucking crazy? The point is not going to Mexico. You watch, I survived where they kidnap the guy in Mexico and they keep them at home for ransom. Is that what was called yeah the home for ransom for like a fucking year? And they just make him like they shoot him, and they just make him sit in his own piss and shit and they sleep. Deprivation is the thing they play. That loud music dick. Oh, my god, yeah yeah, you don't want your kidnapped in Mexico. Now that really must hurt, or is it just a little Readers are good, but you may die, might not live yeah. Yeah and people don't want to go to Afghanistan, ok, look at it. This way, yeah, I can only go to Afghanistan

you're way more likely to get shot in Mexico. Then you are in Afghanistan. The amount of american troops have died in Afghanistan is not nearly the number of people that have been killed in the drug war in Mexico. Really, oh yeah! It's way more! It's way more! It's like ten times more. Crazy, nobody's like ten Christmas together. If your party in war, as you fucked up that sounds like a guy, like if you're down cover your that dude will gang, he's being vanish day. There's there's got to be some sort of a solution, but I don't know what that is going to be: let's just never going to Mexico. Well, it's like

there's been times in human history, where you know civilizations crumbled and were essentially watching that happened in Mexico or watching our neighbour in and and roiled in this ridiculous war, where the drug dealers have billions of dollars and tanks and fuckin weapons and share and they hire mercenary. To come over there is it most of the border towns. Yes yeah. It's it's all rolling. I don't know where you know they're the to kill a bunch of people in Acapulco, so I don't think there is yeah in a fucking resort? They went to a resort and killed a bunch of foreigners. Yeah yeah more way to leave out there touching the way it was an old from Spain. There were still silly enough to go to occupy girl. Well, you know they deserve at using brazilian land. That's just I don't know. I don't know what happened. I don't know who it was. I don't know what the story was, but I know that it's you know the especially the border. Towns are incredibly dangerous. Yeah I mean this. Is people going down left to right and you know

headless and fun, and I thought he was safe before he wanted to say things are pretty bad, but it's interesting when a culture like drastically changes over a fairly short period time. I used to go to Mexico and we just got us. Yeah did a spring break, think tv and like the late 90s names like, maybe even 2000s. It was like no big deal. Yeah well was. It was for fear factor the grind yeah. We are you and Eric around the ground work together. We should get our pump on. We chat with you. Sweetie taught me how to shave my chest. I believe all of this, yeah but dance partners. We're going to be the first gay couple on dances with the stars going to come? I would love to help you guys tuck, each other, just I sat there for how they say that, for how long are our I could watch that longer than the head cutting? Would you ve watched you guys for easier than had never seen to go, sense. I find that hard to believe why mean in real life or on the internet? I've. Never even

it's on the internet, won't pull it up for Brian. It's not I'm not here. I think yeah, ok, so Brian. The only way this is going to work is take the monitor, an don't stream, don't stream the show and then on that screen over there. You need to show two guys fucking just for Amy so it won't ever show. You can do that right. I I, the guys I wanted to be to fires. Earth is gonna, find mix, master flesh flesh. I actually invented that name you're guidelines, Flash mixed, Flash Mixmaster back. Like yes master flesh. You know she drank tribal booking by accident that sucks everybody shows up and flings dick. My name is cheese cream busy, maybe she laughing yeah. Maybe will be the new porn. I get a rap name, yeah! Well, my rap name, be. I always felt like we're going to have a nickname. You can't really name self yeah the startling you can always tell when someone tried to push their own nickname they introduce you as their nickname. Yes, I,

where's. Your call me, shrimps and my valuable team didn't catch earlier is here for mining s rooms you know that you down. If you made your own nickname up, it means you have no friends the only thing it means it doesn't make any sense of. Has crazy raging, protracted, crazy. Hey guys, I'm gonna be t Rex. You know because I'm always talking like this yeah fighters. It's hilarious fighters come up with some of the silliest nicknames and then they have to stick with it and it's there forever. No some guys change Rory Macdonald used to call himself the water boy and then he changed it to Aries Aries God of WAR yeah it's kind of interesting when you're allowed to change your name, what a change

I like seeing the water boy, but now I feel more, like the God of war. Okay, just do whatever you want. I guess just the world is yours to starter. So, like God of war in relation to like Mexico, oh crumbling reading this I'm listening relatives Pike ass. It explains what right now fuck is wrong with the Middle EAST. One of the reasons why the Middle EAST is so backwards and up is king, is con. King is cod rolled through their in twelve hundred, something it wasn't, king as it was actually a sons who was already dead and crossed. Baghdad killing everybody like you, might you she'll nine million people is that people fucking? the gay guys sucking it

talking right there, because he just people have two elderly fat guys sucking an I'm, not well, that's what you know maybe you're right. Maybe I assumed it was going to be like take it away, but, like I said right, that's not cool we're not going to get an honest reaction as long as she's seen it now, we can say that we were the first person to show it to you. Guys talked about it she's, looking right at it right now. You know it doesn't she's, looking right at it. He I got don't feel honestly, don't feel it away we're good we're good we're. No, no, that's enough! It's not! or play. I will go on as we know about, and what would you do with united their buying each other like two gentlemen who made their mouth fucking, I call my fucking You know what I didn't see them penetrating each other. That might have been a different vibe, but I didn't mind the sixty nine ing I need to get. You know you gotta, prove that you see the actual fuqing. I seen it right there clearly yeah. I thought it was going to bum me out, but yeah. Ok, there you go.

Well. Thank you guys. We got to do this together. You're welcome so anyway, the cons rolled the Mongols rolled through Baghdad in the twelve hundred and killed everybody. Apparently Baghdad was at one point in time like the most Van City in the world, like their science, their literature, the approach in Islam itself was responsible initially for, like all sorts of like scientific and literary advances, and it was like a booming like intellectual city. And Genghis Khan like sent the guy at the the it wasn't. Genghis Khan has yeah. Me rocking sucker can be rockin. It's all. I want to do sent this guy some sort of a letter he sent a letter back, they didn't like each other, so the Mongols just came in and stormed the city for weeks. They just they would hurl human fat that was on fire. They would kill people and light them on

fire and then hurl it curl like a of whole. All so, with slam onto the roofs and start houses on fire is apparently human fat burns really good for a long time, do they would just flay fat off people and and like fill up catapults within light it on fire they fucking fucking crazy, these stories of what they did. They killed everybody. Now they killed as many as two million people in Baghdad. As little as one hundred thousand or as many as two million it's really hard to tell from those days, but essentially is everyone who lived there. Most historians Clay was run. Eight hundred thousand which is an insane amount of amount of humans. They killed. All these people lit everything on fire broke all anything that was made. That was any enemies advancements through all the writing in the water and all the people that were they are killed everyone. They said that the river

actually was black from the ink of the books that they had thrown in destroyed all the writing and knowledge, hundreds and hundreds of years, because they're, the Mongols, they don't give a fuck the Mongols were, should have given a favor is out for blood under Genghis Khan. Genghis Khan himself was responsible for as many as seventy deaths. Seventy million deaths. Seventy million. Like him in the Mongols and his his invasions and his conquering different parts of the world they they're responsible for as many as seventy million deaths Jesus and get the height like what we think about like like Hitler Hitler didn't have shit on this motherfucker, because this guy did it all on a horse, Ok, of course, does up the Annie Yes, he killed. Seventy million people on horseback during this lifestyle and kill did he kill more than held. Twenty million is quite a few really fun yeah. They all killed. A lot of people have killed, I'm at zero right. There you're not not much of a conquer couple dogs,

little. It's hard to rapid your head kind of money. I didn't you ever build our german knelt on major it yeah dead blushing. Yeah, like you, feel, like your blood was on my fucking huge. It was an exit. My mom didn't want to get away, so we just like put in an empty tub and we were hanging out the new gerbil and I nailed down and killed. Yeah. That's a wrap, that's more depressing than the seventy million dead people in Baghdad or the head chopping. Somehow it you're like wow Amy Way to bring it down. Okay, I thought we were just showing the sodomy we're so lucky that there's no Ganges Khan today, because this Just luck. It seems like it's. Just luck. Yeah when, like when someone like that comes along its like damn

calling his name for me because of historical arsonists, but like there's very rare that you get an Alexander, the great you get a king is caller. You get in the polling in you know, or a caesar when it when these guys come along. They just wreck shop for, like fifty six in the world to change the world tune in fifty or sixty years. The guy killed seventy million people, get a drastic change in politics and people do they have like a never again campaign like like we did like the the Muslims went into China. They said: So let's go back and killed everyone. I don't forget, they didn't know they killed everyone. They did. They didn't care, they not only. They kill everyone, they would leave and then come back in three days and kill everyone. They missed

people tat were hiding place missing another. They knew tat. He was not ass. I saw my dad and israeli Army, they told him. Somebody threw a grenade into a kind of garden once they found out which village was wrong. I said, kill everything moving. Oh my god! Oh yeah yeah the tea while holy shit. They said that the the Muslims had taken a crew to go into China. For the first time, to see what China is all about. 'cause. They heard all these rumors about how much money and riches were in China and they had a gigantic army and the core is Mian Shah and they were going to go in there we're going to like, like they were eventually going to China. They just landed on your when they got there. Where is Mian Shah, hello, Jw Moon. So when they go there, they saw these white peaks. In the background of the thought, were snow covered mountains, there were actually mountains of bones. Because in the return in this town, This is one town. They killed, two million people

is one area in China, the monk? came in and killed everybody like we, even understand what this kind of carnage must have been like when you're talking about one thousand two hundred lady, like when you think about today, like there's no group of humans, that everyone murdering psychopath, like you get higher thousand serial killers, it's not linen, organise organized serial killers like look it up. I mean how many people are in a kind everyone's terrified Oct tried. It was a thirty dudes are crazy. Hopes of some Bin Laden they killed is live with six people. Don't you know, I mean country. At least there is raised entire cities just put taking boulders years ago yeah what what city and I was in high school I don't know I was thinking of saying Assad

But then I really ok, that's the guys they bulldoze we killed. They killed everybody in the city's water because they protested destroy the city. How many people? I don't know why? But a lot like thousands and thousands of people wow. This is while it's still high school Well, let's don't let it get out and, coincidentally, what part of the world is it the same? Yeah same part of the world, so he left so that people there. This is what happened to rape and get their genetic. When he came. Oh, they raped all the women. They say that in one part of the world and that Asia that part the world more than five percent of the people that live there have Genghis Khan's DNA in the yeah yeah, I think fine I made that his own. Please do own. Please do your own game of thrones yeah this guy now, but this guy than game of this is the craziest guy in human history, like everybody, wants to talk about Hitler. Genghis Khan was way crazier than Hitler. They would storm into towns and just kill every.

Out of the blue babies, women, children, rape, kill everything, kill everybody. They would take people and cut their skin off and force feed it to them until they died. They would deal on scanned the. Could you they do they killed people in the if they were eating somebody else's. I think I might rather eat my own skin than a stranger he would set lights up. Yeah like even you- and I know you- I think I'd probably still rather eat my own skin you looks delicious though he does like. Please is it what about that guy the fact I would be very tender that you barely knew yeah about fat woman. I've been more tender. Now I can't hear you, We filled with like a cigarette e taste that smoke smoke flavor. You might be right that might sort of helped it out till you try it yeah buying custom skin yeah. If we were to cook one of us, I would want to cook you mean yeah.

Most? I don't know. I just wanted my instinct what it? What do you think yeah? I was going to say Brian for most meat, but I don't know what makes most meat. Tough to chew on. I know I know I mean I definitely want to be Jamie, How is the shareholder if you had do if you had to work, if you like trapped in like one of those Yukon things were gotta eat, someone universe emulating. I know no one Alaska rang autonomy in Marseille, don't kill people in Connecticut meet him. Why there's so bore his and if it was like my daughter, but there was a couple were travelling from North was from Connecticut, and you can see these mother occurs from a mile away and Joey D. As in I would look at it, but I actually said I go. I go look at his Connecticut where people I go. Look at them like that that you could tell he goes. He goes without any doubt and I go look at the kids shoes. The kid was wearing

choose a boy, a young boys like ten and he's wearing boat shoes with shorts with ' belt on they're, not short, they don't grow up around enough black people that they have fear in them, so they just do whatever they. They have no heartland the missing character. No, it's worse than Portland, worse Portland Way better in Connecticut Stock is, in Connecticut. You have all these like weird, rich dad's that have been stealing money in the stock market, the whole life and they pay for these kids to go to private schools where they all stare each other because no one's getting any education at home, because your mom's on pills and her face can't move because she shot Botox into it and she's fucking dizzy all day, because she's got gotta addiction and all each other and you wear pants with little whales on them, because you think you're alternative but really you're. Just a rich little pieces of shit. You have on crust on your crazer and you're, going to start fucking your mail from entitled life and your your wife. They were

travelling traveling this, this woman didn't understand why she had to take her shoes off areas yeah. I don't know where this bitch has been living, but she My shoes are open, told you can see my feet now. You have to take issues are she's like I'm onto Equinox, do you understand. She was like literally arguing with her husband she's like it's open, toed. I think you can wear that are with her husband, like what's he going to do fucker in the face? Call Parker until at least out just wakes up a learned person. Well, I can't do but enjoys when you pointed them out, he was tired at that point. We ain't breakfast. It was about to crash dog dog. Now they can't I'd like to say well, we were in Jersey to which is the it's you. It was, it was Connecticut. People in Jersey enjoy you're gonna

How are you doing at midnight which have been of life that pleases killer? That's a great club night May night Thursday night, ok, dude! Please come on that week. The two of you come down that week and will blow it up. Can you do that? It's next week know it's next, ok what come on vaccination tomorrow, you you're gonna, be here in town. I was blown up. That's rights! May already. Do you love it? I thought it was just like just turned April. like wait. What is going on this winter was a joke 'cause, we don't really have a winner, haha bad with New York. One. Go we go he's gonna hate the weather, while you're moving you're moving there you're moving to new welcome you. You know what like like decided that people are

shallow, that's how it is. But uh do you feel judged what happened? He's tired of killing pages bad about about the business out here myself, new stages is good and new people. Comics to watch? You know new style of comedy, Oh sure, you said it goes into my train of thought. Oh yeah, here's my little bit of like five percent, wants to date a black check for like two months, Harlem shake. Here's another party: you want you marrying a black man after the black chick doesn't workout. It would get the Julius Long lines up with his long hair, your mom. We should fear you shoot your pants again. I'm not cleaning this, my god! If I had to introduce my girlfriend to I would just be ashamed of my here's, my girlfriend of evil.

What happened stepped up its name, their named in hand, sanitizer yeah, you yeah, that's not. Have you ever get barriers of inviting now shit? No, I'm going to Sure I do the black out stretching talk out. They get there. I have it set up ready. I don't know you haven't set up, like you said: hey, listen, I'm thinking! I want to fuck a black check and your black check. So what's all everyone loves secret man? It's a secret secret in a block to the world. He did. He used a secret smart, that's a beautiful thing! That's secret! It really seems to wait. That'd be funny if you're, instead of a house at a family, like you just secret, like a huge block, guy, whereas a black this for ten minutes and methods guys one day when they

breaks into your house at the exact moment. He's here racist. I just assume that guy would have to break in your house. At least black people like her, a Connecticut woman sitting in her home, like Oh you made it and she thinks this guy's gonna Fucker already robs her. That's great clubs are over the head. That's great put her finger off to get a ring because it's stuck fat fingers because she doesn't ever take it off because she's embarrassed and meant that she That's what it means that our finger and washes eats. Everything was set to go off to a good stock and blood diamond on the US to hack it off with a chainsaw. She won't do it not quick enough. Meanwhile, she just wanted some black cock. He didn't even know They were given its you're gonna take but share going to take demanding a furnace later fantasy and looking up at all isn't it funny how that would be horrific for one person, but yet another check would be like

yeah. He asked me if I can tag yeah. Finally, some gangster dick do it. We don't you know, blackjack of you, I've never been with a black chick. I found it pretty white so far, but I hope to branch out what about like any the alternative races have been Asians, but no, I would I'm open to whatever yeah yeah yeah sure, no, I think have you ever done with anything but white yeah no way wait a minute of all. Why speak soon. She has a such an extensive sexual background because of her she's, a cash. She seems like the type of gal that guy sits in defrag and gets to know where any hangs out for awhile geez. Well, that seems like she wouldn't have a bunch of different relationship. I want to sleep with someone happens: real quick, like within hours yeah, but there's nothing wrong with that. No right we're talking yesterday about the different girls that we dated for, like like a long time,

wound up slept with on the first day. Yeah, lastly, is a relationship, but you get to use it as a bargaining chip. It's just like yeah. Well, you know what that's, because you don't have anything else to offer. That's usually or maybe I friends just seriously aren't already and they need to really trust someone, but if I physically am drawn to somebody- and I want to sleep with them- I nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. The problem with that is that too many people in the world are assholes, and so that doesn't work out well, because every now and then you fucking asshole, and then you got an ahole in your life. You're like I should have got to know this person better. First, why don't you find out right? Then? Then you're done with them. I get sexually because then you get to know them, you introduce them again. You have sex with them again again and then you start hanging out with them. You get to know them, and then you go. Oh okay. I should have got to kno you better, because I'm not really personally, I would rather have known what a piece of sheet you are, but I do

yeah, that's the worst like chicks, getting dressed, and she tells a Nager joke and he's like. Oh wow Scris, like kind of what in the damage was there casually unapologetic Lee? Ok, not let's take away I rather have already bond them because then at least you can get that in you can't do it after. You know that that's a good point, that's a for a guy, but not for the girl. I don't know, for not such a good point, but I mean sometimes you sleep with someone as a girl and you're not interested in building, something with them just want some dick yeah that that person's dick. Yeah there's nothing wrong with that. Absolutely another moment that I feel about it. The problem is, there's too many people that will let you think that something wrong with that, because they actually want to fuck you,

girls, girls take so much grief from guys that really were attracted them like fucking hore. She fucking or she's kind of gross right. You guys, because they're weak, they're, weak, bitch, ass bodies don't realize that terrible feeling that they're having about this person, disguised as one is really just rejection, just rejection the fact they are ignored, universes the urals. Does this say you what happened happens, Ohio case that Steubenville case with a girls being dragged like on a lot of so it's nothing to have not one. That's terrific! the same thing as their competitive nature or something wow. The thing about talking about chicks, want to kill themselves in an elevator or each other, that's you,

doesn't work yeah, that's why you can't trust a member when Amy said she wanted for herself down elevator shaft on no, no, my name is killing Biches with elevators. I wait hold on a minute. I don't think it's uh yeah, I think, is really upset. I really was well. What is that is that the family? Is it the people not talking to people about opposite sex being human culture, the high school high school, it wasn't just one family, yeah you're right, not only the high school, it was actually the people, the adults, because they were hiding it because they didn't want to suck up the high school football season. It really isn't it's so crazy! Yeah and it's like you know it's everybody in the community. Making these guys feel invincible and untouchable and you can do whatever you want your gods right now. So crazy. It was this girl. Just really drunk is also well. It takes over the blackout prone and no one did anything to help her know who Jesus Christ, that's uh, then you know when you ve done wisely company human nature. It's not like about this one Kojak anything.

You have your dog. Well, you know yards or that I think about that, all the time like just if humans are given the chance, they will become complete monster. I think. That's probably true. It's certainly possible not fun to think about. Well, look at this Mongol thing. We're talking about now does not even a thousand years ago. This is the heart of darkness. Is every yeah yeah? It made it. So yes, just it's all about like the particulars inside a packed animal, the moral terrified of that I mean it. We're Altera! That's where my these, these in mad max my these and movies. Essentially, the breakdown people are terrified of women like actually we get to get to that. Look. What we're we're just saying about that girl, like everyone, the girls are scared like if I, with with her than the guys, are going to turn on me. It's like, and I think in them, muslim muslim side, the they they cover cover yourself, and you know it's like people have this fear and people get upset about. You know somebody saying like yeah I'll sleep with someone when I want to that somehow can make a and feel castrated for some.

And that I would maybe make my own choice, yeah and I I think that it's weak and it's yeah weak beings, rare it's being rains Bye week too yeah, and it's also that I'm a man has to realize when he's growing up that, would that not every woman he likes is going to like him. And you got to realize that it's not their position to like you. You have to suck it up and either prove yourself as a person get away whatever deficits you have or find someone who does like yeah and You got to be worth something you have to actually have value. You have to be fun to be around. You have to be enjoyable to talk to. You have to be a kind friend you to actually be something, but people don't think that the beginning they want you to like them. They they, like. Here. My parents liked me they're, not thinking like what what it, what does this person getting excited would actually like spoiled people we like spoiled shity dudes, who like their dad like,

it can do no wrong so these these kids, they show up in a fucking assholes and now it is causing us say I mean, let's just call him made a spade here. Well, this is what this guy was talking about. This is why it's passing the mungle thing, because he said when Baghdad was rated by the Mongols and they crushed the society. They basically started from scratch. After that with the that were the outskirts. I mean that is literally what what happened with Baghdad. They had to repopulate Baghdad rebuild He killed everyone and through all the literature away, so that say that today, they're just just and to the point like culturally of where they were in to sell in in in twelve eighty. I bet a lot of people. Look, let's not go in right away. The city, let's wait another

It is yeah. Well, it's also like the distrust and like the the work that I I started reading about it after listening to this, because it's so interesting is like there's just people that equate the whole distrust of foreigners in the outside world. To be. Invaded by the Mongols that apparently the muslim religion and islamic culture was completely different back then, and it was like the Greeks, it was like. The Romans was like people that were, like you know, actively trying to pursue education and and science. It was a completely different type of culture and where they I mean they either they they. I mean they thought they had the greater army, the yeah. They thought they had the greater army but They didn't understand how gangster the Mongols are. The Mongols were throwing trees at them. They cut all their trees down. They took two weeks. They cut all their trees, everywhere all around the city, and then they say

the mob with giant catapult and world them over the gates, destroying everything in the city, so imagine tale of the hobbits welling to fly out of the reach of twelve, a d and you're sitting there and full sized palm trees the year destroying mosques, and they did this by the way for two weeks before they started to go in just a just launching fiery at them launching launching things what launching rocks they collected rock. Launching them into the city, so they're, basically over the walls. Everything is pulverized, everything's, gonna cry They can't go outside the gates, give they can get more food, they can't get anything and these motherfuckers crazy, savage bar, burying sociopath on horses with each other, the horse and then they had nine extra horses so there hundreds of thousands of animals and people outside your gates and hurling trees at you just waiting for you to give '

then everything's on fire everything's on fire, everyone's dying in front of you and then boom. They come in They come in. They just calm down everyone running through the streets, cutting people in half everybody they find dead. Everybody hiding dead, everybody in any mosque dead, just come in propping heads off dead and they they would do this and they would completely clean, down an entire area like the changed, the entire course of human history. They weren't looking to take They took no survivors. If they took survivors, it was only because they were at war with someone else and what they would do is take the survivors and put him in the front lines and use them often times as the front, they would push an army into the town, and people would be shooting arrows at their own friends, because their own friends would be forced to be at the front line of this. Me behind them. They would see the Mongols on their horses and these people would thousands and thousands of people just be forced through

door of of of the gate of the city. Insane times. Man of this man, it's incredible she is so fascinating to know. I am. I love watching the broad spectrum of people in this life that we encounter, but this is this, this life, it's so interesting to see the people just like you and I we're live that world it's like it's just it's the same species exact same species as Why are dealing with all over the world? It's just. It was one thousand years ago. It's the same thing that I think we would have been bad assets then been dead or well. Like do you have an extra all leading up to my rape? And yes, of course, I do how good like on a one to ten my posts, a twelve and you know it so they kept you around. You would become more. The kings, cons, wives, you could be the funny wife? I feel like you guys, You heard this member when he killed out. First,

thirty million. Well, listen to this. And I don't know and yeah. I have a much which is so lucky. We live as the EU everybody's world, and I love this guy. Does in the world. Does suck mean there are things that happen like in Boston when these two assholes, but there's not a hundred thousand of them on horses, storming, boss to Boston everything will give some of movie showing everyone made made. It wasn't. Based on collective, yet without one eleven, the the I'll get the gringo, the Beaver, the the beef in his shot and then he went crazy and they're like we going to do with this. Well, they had to know he was crazy when they're shooting that nobody in They should additionally, should hang on our earlier. They should had celebrities are protected while he

had that one issue, though, where the cops full the moment you started ranting about Jews, I'm not gonna do, but we were all like yeah. We kind of see that. Could you imagine the house of a real crazy person when you don't if you're get racists but straight to Jews? I that's true. I mean that's not just like everybody you're skipping over you know, but even though you're a Jew, I fucking agree with you. That's absolutely true. You know people might discount that, because of your Judaism, your Judaism I think it's true, though. It's so true what there's something about the conspiracy folks, who always go Jew, build a burger Jews, the Jews. What's build a burger to build a badges out controlling the world's economy? You don't even know, I don't know not like build a bar with a hamburger yeah, not build a bear with a burger. That's a good idea! build a burger like look like a bank I'll take over bank and turn into a burger place, we build a burger and everybody wears like Fucking Richard Nixon masks.

You know when pregnant look like yeah. Look like you're in a cult. Do you ever hear bohemian grove? Do you know this real thing that they actually do really interesting, where all the world's top like find answers and bankers and world leaders, people from all the world like the Bush Families been going to this place for ever and ever it it's called. It's called well, the this call bohemian grove and the other thing that worship is called Molech and Molech. Is this: how will God and they burn at the end of sacrifice they burned in effigy like Alex Jones is crazy. We all know the options crazy. He's a fascinating dude. He believes in a conspiracy and everything, but he actually snuck in and got video footage of these fucking rituals. These people do so see having all these world leaders and their wearing robes Alex Jones slip. The point of his God. They didn't know he was back. Then he was nobody back then, and I think he I see actually are cut off. He got caught some all group doing

oh yeah. They they had hidden camera footage of these fucking people going through this. This ritual- and it's like these people, they're they're, weird fuckers man. They really do do weird. Shit! That's like conspiracy! Theory shit like like the skull. Crossbones yeah, like that's real, really, weird, like that. You see cubits eyes wide shut. Yes, apparently that's like based on real things that some of these weird groups do. I could There's so rich and bored, do like also early to everyone does, whatever you say: What do you mean the type of checks that you could. Bang, though, if you're in one of those mask parties in Greenwich Connecticut, like going to get it. It's a real house priority to your own gigantic fuckin, huge ballroom, that's actually a part of some guys manner and you will show up and give the keys to the valet and put your is on

this year. I can see especially because if they really are complicit in some shady shit, whether its they're doing like yours, scams and and stealing money, and whatever the fuck there don't you're gonna want the person whose, with you to like to be all in there now and if you, you know that you like there, when I type in the part of some crazy group like your ear, you guys are fucking, those winds and I mean you guys are living everyone's living in this crazy you're, going to completely so power. You want to fuck your friends, wives. That too, I I think. Then you want your friend. Well, don't they always whenever someone to do when ah trying to get people into a into groups, they always like make you do shit that you don't want to do like that's a big part from the crypts. To read. Well, it's like If you want to be a part of a group, you gotta sacrifice, you gotta, you got approve you down to prove it has a your lights at me. Just do it

is the thing in game of thrones, where the Khaleesi so like. Could she gets? She gets this army and they all tips part of this army, they all to kill a baby in front of its mother, like that, That's like standard shit like throughout history, I'm gonna be apart. Some crazy group, you do something nutty, so these people that are like rigging in the economy and stealing billions of dollars like these east. Hampton I want just go to one of those parties. I just want to see a dragon. I think there's a part of me is like I bet there's a in somewhere. Do you think there's a drag dragons used to exist like why are there so many dragons in human culture? All I hope so God yeah yeah. It was dragons not just in like China, but there's dragons in Europe. At the same time, I think there were dragons. Look, I'm not some retired. I don't think they were. Coins, but there are no. It do you think they breathe via. Or, as I asked their breath now, debris fire well that you commodo dry

Those are not maybe because Komodo Dragons, if they bite you even if you survive like you're, going die from the saliva, the toxins massive they have botulism, yeah they're, just just our server can know where she's festering winning the whole big bacteria. I think probably run fast and you know they're the biggest lizard on earth. Next to I They're, actually even hear your picture yourself, but we can. We start thinking about it like behind the tree. When I got him around corners, gonna mountain lion, you don't make yourself burp and Siddhartha Lizard bigger, but aren't they bigger than so. How is the Komodo dragon? The biggest drag, the biggest lizard? Are they bigger than crocodiles so can you guys watch my television show tonight, yeah bitch, ten, thirty comedy central, please watch it and it's called later inside Amy Schumer this there's when he said that he had me laughing when you're all doing a spice in

oh, oh, these yeah cousin, the spy shows they always like the guys get to do. Cool shit and the girls are always like all right and you just have to like as a dick. So here's what we're doing with the mission work on how had a code name when I go and it was like super bad astern in mine was butterfly this creed in paragraphs of creeping beating a dear. I played down, Dragons are yeah like your mouth they're monster there is up a large area and in animal man part, I better summary I vote. Could people can I get on those look at this they're feeding together on a carcass? That's like walking dead, yeah, it's exactly like walking dead. I can't they just once getting over the top. When I looked at by accident right, leaning on it just pulling chunks out of this things, ruthless fuckin' animal maybe to shoot ten ten, ten episodes all done already there all done

for now. Well, I'm gonna go to New Orleans for a month. Yeah. You are right. I I and getting new new new writing with nothing stand up on its hind legs pull deer out of a tree. What, if you see that there is out there, and even though you're coming out of here? I don't see that see you I don't know, maybe they hung it, so, whatever the fuck, it is, maybe they hung it so that people can see it easy. Let's say right away. I do too, don't I would odor yeah fuck inanimate plan with that things treason after you did you see. The thing is: maybe that's where the idea dragons came from their bread. They they'd like fire in the address, but it's really just that their their saliva was toxic yeah, I feel like I would have found a bone or something fire breathing bone like they breathe fire trust me. Could you imagine if there was an animal that actually to breathe fire

God Dam Monsanto would copyright it. They would go into the guitars yeah, there's like we own it, and then they would just have fucking fires and weird cities for no reason. I called sudden Detroit's on fire and dragons walking through the fucking streets. Well, if you're going to let one city on fire That's a good spot! No, we know that's not what I was saying. Please come see me at the magic. I think the crocodiles to technically a reptile running. Well, I don't know what the difference in reptile lizard, I think, there's a different I think that's. Why? Because I believe the are larger they are, but so is a snake. A snake is a reptile as well. You know, yeah styles, crocodiles, reptiles, So why are we here? Are you going to eat mushrooms, so they just kicked in Amy we're here, for you, we're giddy, you're awesome and were around Jim lookout might narcissism. I will believe that you really mean that

we we we, we were giddy to have you here, we're very excited. I only get to see like once a year, so I now, but I will I every time I come to the L s. Please come see you Tara, let's try doing these things more as well, when he did work when I was a joy ideas, moon tower than the first Austin is that a comedy festival yeah? So how that work is that, like South, by southwest, where they don't pay for shit, they just people are doing doing moon tower. Could for it south stop by sent, sent me something it was like. We will pay you No, no! No! No, it said we'll give you a free pass to go, see other shows it's worth. Fifteen hundred yeah they priced that way because they give it out to everybody. They don't give you a companion pass. I can stay with you. I thought it was the most Take the ever heard the life, it's not cool and they end shows are all sold out its allies in return. They will give your email address out to everyone. Well, why are still beginning letters saying we love your band? It's a bag for hundred

you'll. Have your band really except? No. I thought you get there they're, like. Can you flyer for this and you're like well? Why does anybody still do it because it's a cool festival, but it's got coming less school way more, like there's a dorito stage. Now it's becoming way more rito stage and you're not going on those are delicious? Listen, I'm not hating! On Doritos, I love the fact. They've moved into Taco Bell and they start taking over it cool ranch, great merger, what a great merger amazing- and it's always good for you so good for you- people don't know that, but he really good for you. Austin is the fucking shit yeah, it's almost worth dealing with their bullshit just so you can go on stage there Don't like the idea of them may Duncan made a whole video there. Don't we pull up Duncan's video

come out without malaria, yeah pull up Duncan Trussell on south by SW 'cause. He made a whole video about it, which, like really kind of encapsulated in a whole area, so I realized I was doing it last year and then I mostly I was like I was like you're, not doing. I thought you were doing stuff because now I switched on the page. I was like oh my gosh it's not a greedy. It's it's just like it's. Why do you not yeah? What is the festival about its about art? Ok, how come the artist again paid like whose getting paid you're making a salary year making are, you guys, make a profit like how more people here who pay to get so its people pay to get in and where's the money go to go to charity because a chair

I can't get it, but it's got all go to charity. That means you can't get paid either! Oh well! I need a salary uh. No, no, not this one, not this one. This has been done a billion times for the cloud one. Not this one yeah don't do the Fuckin' Hitler one! It's so stupid. It's not even real Hitler. Be one thing if it was like footage of the real Hitler getting crazy, but it's like an actor playing Hitler. The best of all those were watching with Jeff Rossen, who else at the parking lot. But although a killer of honour on that scene. They just recently crank this. They told me I have to pay for my airfare and and and then I wouldn't get paid to perform. I decided cool clown, an offer her a similar deal. That's really funny! hello. Can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you hi there. My name is Elizabeth Cranston

I wanted to find out. Do you ever? Do you ever travel out of state to perform uhm? I mean I I haven't so far, but why well? We are throwing a kids party out here in Austin TX, it's at the Fisher House, which is a pretty prestigious house, and the party is going to be well attended and a lot of the elites. Austin elites and we've heard great things about you on the internet, and we want a clown for the kids party. We wanted to see if you'd be interested in performing. Well, I mean it used. Have you already checked with clowns like in that area? Once we want, we want you. We want a clown from out of state, and this is a very prestigious party, of course

wouldn't be able to pay you or pay for your airfare or for your lodging, but we love for you to perform. It would be great for your resume. I wait but you, but you want me to come and not and not pay for anything good for your crown resume. We want you to come out. We can't pay for lodging airfare or pay you to perform now. I don't know if this is a joke phone call or something, because this is a little funny, because that it would cost me money to do it but it would be good for your resume third party and often when I perform in LA well, you would you meet them. Are there to be? Some are pretty well pretty well known musician.

Are going to be attending this party and also we'll be able to give you a couple of free tickets for shows, while you're in town yeah, I'm really not interested to me, doesn't prove it as a performer to come all the way. There and then why'd you do it right if you want a real person here before consider, are you done with it? Now you figured it out, as you know, the cow I was going to buy, one go just go this hangover supper, yeah, maybe go to guess Bob, maybe not like. Why would I go there for that? Also, Tell my resume resume normal cars. We weren't going to make art form. We weren't even going to pay you until we found that you work for free in Texas and we, like God, dam the Need Chelsea when they had they realize they only booked one woman or zero women.

But there was today, was already dead, but they offered us all, but we just like. I know it's. Ok, you're not always gets what now what they thought they offered a year they would like. It was a bad press like in the women's like a fox like to call Chelsea like hey. Can you come down to this yeah you're? Paying me? I know why are there and they find, will pay? they say, pay some people. She demanded it and it was like you know they have the money and I don't larious that is. That is so funny that her being like, but you have other aren't there. Just that's really what we are it's actually actually a speaking opportunity reside, that's how they they look at. It really is like just a total. The thing is like it's a chance to break as myself. Musician is speaking opportunity, man, oh that's so funny it's a forty five minute discussion and you can receive a complimentary gold badge, a three hundred and fifty

dollar value for the film and interactive sessions. Events is not amazing, express yeah, I was like We have our rate of one one thousand nine hundred and ninety. Actually, I guess they offered me a hotel as well as hotel access. That's a very ambitious thing: that's not what it means. It means you get first in line for a hotel. They have all these people that give hotels too, but they only have like two hundred. That means you're a lot of pay for the hotel, That's a Larry says hotel access, so they can make you get a hotel, but you pay for it yourself. That's so cute! That's so hilarious! It's not cool! Oh, my goodness. People are so fucking crazy, yeah, but Montara was cool. It's an interactive session panel. I guess it's not even doing stand up I have point o pitch in going nowhere. We locked you in we're in the valley in the valley we are in the valley, he can't go going to go. You get somewhere better to we go now getting

I have to do to a bullshit shows. This is promotion. This is helping. You now know the inside Amy Schumer tonight Master through live tweeting, He's like a life too, he just sees acquittal live tweet on Lincoln Way, my god he's playing dumb 'cause. He doesn't want to do it now. He doesn't know. He really is retarded, but you know he does he does Facebook, Facebook one I've ever seen. His rants on Facebook are hilarious. Really he is the funniest you would love him. We hung out together in Canada, we did match together. Song, inflammatory waits for the responsible, takes it seriously and then just goes back and forth so then, meanwhile, starting a new inflammatory post goes back to put them. He just on their nonstop, isn't working it's working out like jokes and yeah. Good way to write an he said that you get a fat supply retards. He people, if I didn't, know him and I just

heat, we my sugar, entertainment weekly and that one of the writers forwarded me that Kurt was responding to comments. He was actually out. We went to that site and was responding to like we're, like he's ill mentally? No, it's just fun well done wow he's a comic he's real comic. It's not that many of us me show more, but you know what's really important out of women. Women comics, there's, probably only ten ever that are really funny and you're one of 'em. Thank you that's crazy, stop and think about how many women have been funny ever. Do you understand ups yeah? One hundred well, I'm out his antenna may have been a being a dick at right. I mean we can think of a bunch right now,

yeah Felicia, Michaels and Rivers yeah. This is this is a bunch of pictures of it. Okay, I just matches to lock in areas she's really she's. Whole Arafat girl does not get or do if you're ever yeah. You want to go see someone really funny little shock. You go see her yeah. How does a bunch of girls we never heard yeah. I'm sure I'm sure, but how many making lay there are few spiritual behind the sale of all countries are a hundred nine. Now how many? What fino hunks working the road is a little now that a good seven, my fair use with us, any good. Any time will you know at seven very as a random number renovated like how are we judging funding has now. You're you're funny funny like on me. He said, but but he was like like, as was the how it was his sadly like to asking about a comic as he killed. I'm a guy was funny. He goes wrists back to kill,

I was like okay, there is a difference, somebody lame that is killing and somebody lane that's bombing. I'd rather have somebody like it's doing. Well, I can much to tell what kind of bomb once in a while. And you're still like this is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Well, he's just always fucking around and coming up with new shed. You know if he wanted to exact his classics and just slaughter, but I mean he's so freaking funny yeah Now is another way. It's easy he's a real comic. You know yeah, it's not so many like real comics there's a lot of like weird people that you have to hang out with what you do in real calmly, like the guy was a little where's. The guy was open for any of the annoying to the just talking about earlier who you'll enjoy them you'll enjoy them. That's not a real com, coffee, the a Dick Dickwad swirling is coffee. Like is no. He was probably forty five, even better is very that's. I feel the worst when it's older guys that are featuring like gonna yeah. You may know it's like yeah man, your gun,

then the more they like say they support you, the more you just see the venom like now you're great yeah yeah. No, I might have my kids love. You you're, like you, want me to in the parking lot. Yeah. There's always those weird older dudes used to be at the store that always just to give the venom eyes. Those guys have been around a long time and they could barely feature on the road they barely even featured on the just thinking what a success you're really successful, but people people aren't mad at you, you don't be a diplomatic. Does she can't how you catch showers of? Why? Yes, I'm in New York, but I never hear of anybody hating on you. Well, I'm pretty NOS four year by now, but people are nice that still just get shit because people are I decided no idea well. I also have an opportunity to talk when you're talking on the podcast people get a chance like. If you see somebody yeah, you see somebody in a movie or what you like you guys at Dick had a day, then fuck that guy the guy's a piece of shit, hey, you can't see. My friends bar was a dick not more before you, the podcast. Right way, more way, more fear factor, because the fear factor do

but when you see person like a podcast allows you like. Ok, I see like no, I'm not know perfect person, there's no perfect person, but I'm not a bad guy. I try to be nice yeah. Many is often as I can it's like as many opportunities to be nice as possible. I try to take but you're, always going to get someone who doesn't like it. There's going to be people that are haters, no matter what they do You never heard a movement of hate toward you will never at all from anyone on that sweet. Thank you, but it's the truth. Thanks for not I'm sure some of the other will premiere on but now, but I would have heard I would point out of your mouth shut, your in the power. Can someone is always gonna hate you you haven't comics. I think we all I care about what kind of yeah. You know. Well just jealousy and whatever yeah the guidelines that were hunting accommodated to hardly stuff yeah, so people laugh sure like watch him again. Yeah.

Yeah I well I do. I definitely got that like from the people that were like comedy purists or so, but it is also because I was always considered dirty and for a long time that was bad, like when I first started out, there was a bad distinction that was being he's, got he's a dirty cop like that, oh yeah, for sure here you are cheap and you were you going for cheap. Why would they say that? Well because first of all is Boston, it's kind of conservative a little bit socially, and it was also that, although the very edge case it was also, this is fairly conservative socially, and it's also that they had just this movement. It just sort of taken place where people have gotten it tonight, and got famous it inhabits. Eddie bird drawn it happened with Steven Reign in a big way and that they and on the shows and gotten like this public attention from television. So everybody had a nice how to have a nice television set clean people got success when you begin when you start thinking like well, that means they should get success.

Like clean, equals, good clean equals, good and dirty equals, and I was so confused because I was like well. The reason why I got into comedy is because I like Richard Pryor- and I like SAM Kennison, The guy goes. You know, look you're not like this guy said to me once like you're, not dice clay, I go you know, but but Dice clay like became dice clay like he couldn't have been really good when he first started with all these great form jokes, but he had style that he enjoyed and, like I'm, style that I enjoyed. But Boston was very suppressive of that they did not yeah. No doubt it must be way worse. I've always said it's way harder for a woman to stand up period, because I think that first of all, there's a lot of bigoted man that don't want to see a woman in a position of the center of attention. Men don't like that, and they want to be able to stop. You your clown, you or their ego as force them to save

They want to render you powerless and the one that's why people attacking the like say that your physical appearance could that just takes away all your power, some yeah, you know but yeah, but he also girls of way more of an opportunity because there is a shortage of really strong working for like when I want a festival, comes up with a new there like whose a killer legal will come out here and just own the room which, which requires going on the road and doing the work for a long time, long time and and and yet a lot of people it just doesn't get get to their yes ears, rule about, like the arrogance that you know like a lot of like young comics like for a female comic. It's a way more slip slope. It's it's really hard! Give you a chance before you're ready, yes like enemy in the bathroom. It's like because because people they want to have a woman in

they want or whatever- and that can I mean just me getting on last comic that early like that. That was crazy, but it was like how many years were you in before you got gonna last hour, two two years in all my years, doing hearing of have asked you to go on one of the year: Jon Reep one way, yeah John rose to yeah. That was a what year is this known? What year was it like? A real yeah, two thousand seven one one two: was it really ever want to that that the first second Second was third Anne, who won the first wife NAM fat. You can't just make I've been. Are those of my bad out an answer now a large enough, Anthea I just made fighter I'm a dick. I shot. Those stories other shows some reason. It's really nice to see. You have a moment of actual shame. I've never seen that was I like the guy. Like damn fan. I like dad fan too he's a nice guy. Definitely there's this one

yeah. That was the of the that was the first year that they did last comic standing when they realize that all these guys that were also in the show that made we're, also being managed by the producer yeah. When everybody was like wait, a minute what the people and then we, Now the EU that the voting didn't really count. That was just sort of large just as a csr. Moneo voting really didn't matter whether or not you like, that's why I drew Carey walked off and on for the for Butler Brett Butler walked on yeah because they found out their vote was not really about hey we're trying to make a show. We have the ultimate decision, who's who's gonna be more entertaining, and it just so happens that people going to are more entertaining I manage Amy, surprising a lot of people. This demand and the host. I managed what a can't face- oh God, what a fuckin a parasite on the world economically, What do you mean everyone? Everyone in who works at the agencies and management companies

people most of them are awesome, most of them they're, driven by being proud of how they're living and inspiring their kids. You know it's to have the original pilot of that on Vhs. With with my house hilarious didn't someone else host it after a while, like Bill, Bella was the host. When I did it wow what happened? Why did Jamar stop doing it? Trying to freshen it up a little? Is that what it was? I started to make it. Kids, like black people, now right in Mcdonald's, commercial black occasionally make those frowny ice cube type black people, but for the part we like to keep them on the Prefere. We bring them in we're, not scared of bill. Delmi is not scary to me I'll. Tell you what right now, oh you're, going you go to challenge verbally. We right going to build something. The hazy back, I feel like bill back, he's really nice eyes I don't know, I know, is on the road I see like places where, like posters, we are there.

And different and slid jail. The others it was an attack again sends to the funding, speak well, see you say that, but like I going like weird little clubs, and especially because when I go I'll go with ARI or Brian or Duncan or Joey. If you can go with friends, it's always fun. I I've never had a bad the road. I can't remember the young tat. I was not always a sudden say that in your mind, the last like Colombia, is that is that the one at the behind the dance club, yeah yeah, that places after make skin? again Cleveland's grievance on a label. Believe it's economically challenged very much so yeah. What is their spots where you know kids are growing up, does not fuck and hope their town in migration management not allow patrolling the jug easier in our egos. He gets here's a conversation ever here, I'm going to Detroit okay

He said she always here man I said yeah, he just ate up his material. He really is going to be now. I want to tell you, like all of his jokes, stop right there right. Sorry, sorry, sorry famous for his next special I'm going to Detroit have fun, have fun shut, he's so funny, bunch days old, porn yeah. I did it watching tv, it was Dallas. Oh that's a classic like I just like oh cool, just out Dave in the almost impossible, jerk off to that two thousand. Thirteen really well sitting there to was never got really really a that was funny. I remember you, are you picturing the car wash maybe the it's a great show, James, open really fun. First of all, Dave is so funny like off the cuff, and he prepares a bunch he's. So neurotic he's got like sheets and sheets of material and he, like Pre, watches the porn goes over. Stuff and like he really takes super seriously, superciliously is on it and then the accuracy super respect

are any enemies. They gave him a when you too, to Tom you're about these films that they may they were like iconic. Oh, he didn't come back does dollars with them, but the guy tat really did I did it with Ginger Lynn. Wow in the butt, Now I van no sex cupidity ran she I was on my first ever Comedy album in nineteen. Ninety nine. She did it like an introduction to the song. I wrote randomly placed together or no no, no, I asked her to do it. I forget how I got in touch with her. I think I think I'd matter through Howard Stern. I think when I did the Howard Stern show. I met her on that was it that or did it was the comedy store? That's how I met Jen Jenna Jamison come while watching porn and make a wish say that again, if you come while watching her porn, and make a wish. What happens way to get in touch a somebody. Is that how it works like secret secret, want to talk to you about the project which,

Amy? How do you, which would be your hard work if you didn't use a secret? I mean what how'd you tribute. The success is not just our girls. No, Is that what it is? I think how I just wonder not ways of monies. I guess all the pain struggle. I was funny as a kid there always by acts it yeah yeah, but then he was telling me defence mechanism how you funny or what would you like if someone says how you find it won't, what work is? What is it what's so I suggest you Eddie Murphy, retains put under my own with great gonna get until women to to the car, and you can't do that anymore. To kick you out of the car, my friends are like that's not your experience at all, I'm like no, it is. I was driving. I was driving yesterday, you guys weren't even around then I was like. Oh, I think I got I used to tell my friends like Richard Pryor Routines, SAM Kennison, routine Oh yeah, I would like redo redo redoing, put your on spam

No, no, no say like the guy did it. I didn't try to pass me off. As my own yeah, I said like the guy, I don't think I might have once I can't remember if you're good at repeating stand up, you you mean like maybe how far that rhythm and whatever yeah I sometimes I sat on Youtube where they're covering my jokes. They do that yeah sure stuff yeah and my I'm like. Can you have them? Take that down a girl like butchering, be a girl like butchering it is so embarrassing. Please. I think that they should be able to do that, be like cover bans. Kind of an audience. Yeah well Mencia that was like his whole thing was essentially is just really good at doing your shed so they're like oh in front of an audience now in front of the camera, yeah. No, it's in front of an audience, and they said this. Isn't a Mishima joke I like now they just do it and then they do it. But it'll say, like you know: description like this is, but they don't say it while showing their knowledge, he's she's to do all of em

Reggie stole your shit, yeah, there's someone I during it I'm like! Can you at least big guy gonna? Take you with me be used for like doing your shit in front of some strangers, because the problem is if, if she doesn't say it and then they hundred that's whoever hundred people, whoever it is, who don't know that that's your job right, and so, if you ever go, do I saw those we. Clean that shit hole. You stole those from Mindy, wise, yeah yeah, it's fucked me I was just like I just as my magic can you get it off you know, do you, member Elon, gold, yeah, well he first started. He does impressions of comedians he's a really good impressionist, but he would he would do a comedians, but he would do it with their material and then people like him

and stop doing that. Yeah! No, not okay! You have to yeah like this is yeah. It was the wizard of OZ. We did you see a comedian. Yes, what what I was gonna say, the rating unknown nine one I got on last there's a guy doing an impression of Louis. Oh, my god, it's great great, you know. Black hole is half black You, those have use. Half black is black yeah right right, we'll get face snarling it. If you got to make good if you halfway kid I'm doing talk that black chicken I shoot shoot you do loads, will look like the hippest Brooklyn couple, she's gonna, that's the kind of I want to go to, like brazilian music. No, you put you out out there with the secret going to get it already impression is so funny

lily it's in the great commercial for his next special. It's really funny. He is a modern day. He is the most original artist since part was invented and who writes more material on a coffee break than most comedians right in their lifetime? I knew how every every hour has filled his most daring special. I don't know why the chicken crossed the road I have some sort of Doctor Dolittle. That's right. Uck is retailing all the greatest classic jokes. Well, it looks like I went he's so funny he's a good comic too. To impose declares.

Even a hilarious. This is true. This is the inevitable backlash of the avalanche of success. S experience, but this is like the only thing is. Even I don't know, maybe because six and he's obviously is everything he does is the greatest in the world We can tell it what to do so he's also. Why is there a devil on the wall? I think that's my sister things have where is it says that heart makes them She look like a fucking fucking hack, every single comedian. So what's the name place again, the laughing Devil Galapagos, any economic that is in New York and its in Brooklyn thanks long out, like where's, that clears like programming in Ireland,

different clubs are there in New York now in two thousand thirteen, eight eight in the city in the city. You know how fucking crazy that is, stop and about that. There's aid, one of the city in this goddamn country has a comedy. Clubs LA doesn't even have a comedy clubs yeah or maybe what is I have? Let's look at LA. Now the city, we got a glass factory, we gotta calmly story of the improv and then and when I, when I look like they'll pay money, okay, they don't pay money. That's not that's not real comical! That's a place for people who are scared. A real comic clubs go to coddle. They should pay I'll be on the record, should pay always put the door, they pay Jesus Christ, places like that. I said ice house flappers

so S county Maryland ranks as having we're going online outside, and governors for yeah, yeah, you're, right, you're, right, you're, right, yeah, yeah. I will way. I know you can't even clue Pasadena then now, because we have plenty of the ice house. The salad Will? We have what it always we are. We now you're over that with them. We are already made a and live in a you. Can we give you Joe to Russia he's one of my best friends. I like New York and I could live in New York, but only if I had a place up I could live. I could live in New York. I know cross. Does that he told me he got like fifty acres, I think I place in Bergamo just on ten times many acres but lot. People do it that way. They they have a place up there where they can go on the you go going. She grassy here, birds hear birds, human within a mile, your house, you know that kind of shit. That's adult way to do it. Yeah my managers, a place I won't say what island, but he goes out. There goes

and shut up. Bitch fuckin ruin everything he has its place on an island and he has to go there like there's no cars. He goes everyone bikes around and he goes there by ferry and then he has a house there that he goes to and this fucking nothing it's just chirp chirp, not really. Okay, fire I'm eating on a fire island. Yes he's on fire a little bit, you don't have to be gay to go fire. I know I've been there and it's a blast. You don't have to be gay. I have to get out of here. Get out of here, but I love you guys. We learn how come over here years. I want going to wrap this up with. You are united continue to talk for another five minutes about you, while they're hugging I'll just say Friday. I, the at the powerful with Joe Rogan, your Rogan billboards, my farewell to LOS Angeles. I love our should fear so much that I'm flying in for the show and then

I'm taking the car it to the improv. It did you hear about what happened on America's got town hold on before you get into that Amy Schumer inside Amy Schumer tonight You fox to night tonight turn already used at ten thirty, you know, that means means your edgy. He was right after you, Tosh Edgy. That's that's! That's perfect spot! That's pretty bad ass God. And that's an awesome spot for you regulations we For the sake of you, alright come back again, alright, don't get too big. For you, bridges for us What have you got? I'm saying don't got out on me looking which say that for a girl, a girl, you can't say that a guy, you could say, don't get too big for your bridges and they d like I got it.

As a girl Joe, did you hear what happened on America's got talent with the guy that stole material, medium gray, yeah, the great Wilson? Apparently he stole a bit and it just so: happens at the guys bit was the, warm and yet the their game. Guy was frank. Terror, yeah, and I guess it's really ridiculous. Well, you know, apparently here's what bothered me more information about it. Greg I've never heard anything about that really Joey did Joey told me, does really yeah, but the problem is when anybody does a bit like haven't. We all noticed this, then it's like yeah. We have so with some guy who's, going to start coming. Seven seven years. He's also going to note and he's going to think he thought of it too yeah. What bothered me more was frank. Nick Matero said I've been doing this bit for fifteen years and we're like fifteen. Years

shoot yourself- stop also allow bit yeah. What do you do? No fever is never good, but what are you doing? He's going? Cats so maybe I'm doing it every you know, like maybe he's been doing it. Hopefully fun, let's be on warm up, but let's be honest, a lot of those guys that wind up with that kind of act. They do keep going like this. We know those guys that don't get like tv spots and now I'm coming central that do the same act and they like little acts. They tore around like like a lesser role: ass yeah. It's just like that Listen when I was a way to think right. Will you get impact when you that's your life sergeant, NL still thinks she went away put his act on HBO. You know that sound. Then you lose your. I it's worth a lot of money to me. You know how it works. I got it there's a lot of good jokes. He won't. He won't put it on a special. He doesn't release any material, think about Jay Leno jail. There has been a stand up for a long time and my friends used to stand up

My friends in San Francisco just saw him. He was. Just add a corporate event, what they think of it. It was okay, but apparently some people said that he was a little bit too risque which hilarious I was like. What are you even I don't even know what the fuck words just came out of your mouth little tourists. But he's doing the same shift, I mean he can write jokes if he wants, but if you stop and think about the amount of people that have cds and like like think about like what is that just the guy saying, I saw frankly that muted fighting couple bit fifteen years ago at the ice House in Pasadena, it was his clothes or an it killed. Oh that's what someone said when the guy was on tv, yeah, yeah well just talking. I would say that it television at all respect which, at this point we don't know they. Don't they clearly don't if they all respect to stand up, they wouldn't pass the guy to the next round. That was the first rack.

Like well was funny get into a Patsy S round. They ve done with it something never see a loan to say. Well, we can't take into we worked out audience did it, but I thought they kicked him off the show, then I think later the cycling so mad and they kept talking about like okay, let's just not, It's not well. I think they didn't know that it was stolen until he was actually doing it and then, while he was doing in the warm up, guy came over to the producers and was talking to them and was in fact was thinking of interrupting yeah so for them to pass him or to say Walker will pass you for now, like like Howard Stern, was there too right yeah? They would have to just say: ok, we're can overlook, overlook. What we think might very well be. The truth was your overlooked. You did well well, if you say you ve never hurts you. I don't know anything about the dudes act that the Gregg when because himself the Gregg Wilson has. I don't know anything

as I I've, not literally, never seen him, I get a recognized him. I've never heard a word out of his mouth, but so I can't say yeah so I haven't I haven't. But JO, we told me that he heard the guy was a thief and that he cleaned up his act or you may have been a seat at one point time clean up its act, but that could be a bullshit rumor to If, if the guy doesn't have a reputation of your saying he doesn't he's around, there lay all the time it is key. Possible. The two guys could have a super similar premises and not as they want both went down the same exact road and resting places, maybe but watch it. It wasn't like. Why does it is your turn version regional to his version in their oh yeah yeah that'll. Do I look at worst yellow bitch

okay, so we're gonna watch right now. This is the suppose, it original Frank Nicotero and this guy and a girl car fight. It's called yeah so for fifteen years thing better, be home like a samurai sword, every five car between a guy and a girl, okay, she's doing his impression of it sits on the stool. For the folks on Itunes, the people stream like I can see it, I'm starting off as the guy he's driving that become the girl. Did I make that clear? because the cliff knows what you showed you guys are you see come on your loyal America, oh no. He I'm starting off as the guy that will be coming. I don't get that joke all right A guy going what it's in the car, so you can't see right. That's the idea, so he's going. What,

and so he's doing all this he gives the finger is going crazy. Now, I could say is doing to hang up. I haven't seen the other guys yet grades, yet I can't say this is easily so Anyone could think. Oh yes, when you see a couple going into a fight right, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, it's just a bunch of like this guy got turned on the radio to ignore her yeah and he keeps getting really really upset by himself. It's really boring. He doesn't Can I go now and now he's like? given the finger. Why, though, I didn't know the first time he had to push his finger to a finger like or do they don't even know how to do it right, but it's basically a bunch of like mimicking that you're upset right now. Have you seen this before all right, so

do any like particular cues. That would be something that, like all right, he thought thing like that turn on the radio to drown her out right. No, it's not the second okay, let's see the other guys now! Well, I get it I get with this guy. So there's no like yeah a joke that he would at the they both go to like? I think you might both go to like a at the end. Oh really mean that, but has no chronometer this car. That's why I cannot support it is pretty boring needed is for fifteen fucking you so now they're like still arguing back okay. I I've skipped ahead a little bit yeah, it's basically for the folks. Listening to this is fucking as agreed at the same time, get both done with alright, so like the girl. Somebody will do. Someone will make it split screen. Imagine if I keep Klay copies every move at a move. I think that that would be easier to say that shadow you can start over and the guys who

and people go around. I think I don't know is leaning over that Greg doesn't do. This is come on. I can't do this. This is death, so to the very end slowly yeah, it's coming. He says come on come on? What's the matter? What ok, ok, ok, God Dam, maybe maybe just put his hand on her. He put her hand on his way,

ok yeah. He acted like he acted like he's going to push her head down to give a below job. He says: Jeremy HOT, enjoy German. How to enjoy Jermell who's mentally. Ok, so now here is great. Wilsons smash brothers must love this coverage. I got there at sign in the back the twins with his mind. But you tell exactly what's going on exactly what I that's what I? Why basically, the same thing exactly now, he's actually being a little bit more animated works kind of wilder.

And they do doing the girl she's not here, love it back here's the thing? If he did see that guy do it, then it doesn't matter if it's different, he stole it. Yeah But how do you know how to you know? This is something the this could easily be something that someone else thought of it's super possible. Like here's, a perfect example you member went twenty inch. Lift the other day wrote that joke about how the Pope got on Twitter. Yeah wealth makes sense, because we're just turned seven yeah will turn that someone else had said that same joke. I actually really did it told him that his last thought it was from where I guess I don't know while ago, yes or no, please tell me you didn't just like yeah, I think well. He thought that someone else stole it from him yeah. You know, and it was like this to me. Well, you know. Well, we could say, even though we know it's not true, that the same thing could be said for your wall Bit with them and see a thing.

This is something a lot of people don't know about. This is kind of crazy, crazy thing, but the wall Bit with the Carlos Mencia thing when people say, who would build the wall Mexicans that was like ARI's joke with people realize that when are we came up with that bit? There was even really a plan to build a wall source and restoring to run. It was a joke. Like already made a fake premise and then made a joke about a fake premise and then, through the ridiculous, of real life. They actually did are proposing that we build a wall next to Mexico and that's when all these do start stealing it, but when are you did? He was actually the lying about a problem that's how I know that you came up with it first. No, they don't have that but really one who also thinks that, like we should get a wall here but then like who would build it, it could be a way to go, if not for me, seeing him in the back laughing at my jokes well, not only that he actually did mirror you exactly

He mirrored your motions, your hands, which is like your style, with this kind of looks like he's, marrying the same touching leg first year at the very end of the jokes. Through the whole same shape and then he's doing the hands and then there's like, He look at the head into the blow job part? No, he just looked over. Every did a hand like that yeah she was a girl touches, lag yeah. I want and that's what I'm saying it's the set up of the exact same ending with them. I was the punch line. I totally say I totally so yeah, okay, Well, you know, I know you're icater you're on the only one you've been doing this for thirteen years, fifteen, I'm so yeah, caught demand shortage is dead with actual Greg's Greg. I yes but like. It must be tough like what the fuck. The only one who's ever done that, but it's like, maybe not maybe other people, but if you find doubt about it and he was doing it first. You kind of have to drop it. You have to drop it.

Who is the cost of producing shots about about about something he had some young black commissar? How do I do that same? Joke was ok, I'm saying I do that same exact, joke and Freddie was like well enjoy it yeah, I'm do it too? How does work for you well Brendan Walsh, and I had that situation or Brandon was worried that I thought he was stealing right and I said no, it's it's a fucking joke about a fleshlight like there's a lot of like obvious connections to like joking around with a flashlight lights in an I told him by the way I'm done with it. That was, unlike my last special, so it's like it's over already. I really stop doing it so whatever, but you told me once he was like. I have something that's real similar to what you're doing, and I put it on. I was like oh stop, yeah. If, if you do it now- and a guy had been doing it before like, I didn't want Brendan to stop doing it, but I wasn't going to not done

I would I mean I I mean I a reddit Reddit rather wasn't doing anymore, not that I was gonna, stop, I wasn't doing anymore, so it didn't matter to me I mean it's on a special. You know and I think honestly, that he absolutely came up with it on his own, because it's it's it's a natural Primus. The best was working. The booth one night after that chinese spy plane american spy plane went down almost hit a Chinese by plane when they took our spy plane yeah, and I watch six. That night make a joke about his name being long way. Yeah six comment is the one where the audience is turning round like what's going on here? Is it a prank on us like what's happening, but everyone is like. I saw the story and yeah

that was so obvious that America is ample, really lead, that a bomb, a joke like about change and as I go brother or is trying to get money out of my pocket or some like that, and I saw that like him, and I think it is our duty as do you that's why I think it lose touch. If you don't hang out clubs at all. Yes, it was touch what everybody's doing special when it comes to current. Yeah, if its, if there's an issue, a big thing that happens automatically people going to to as to had a crocodile hunter joke, a different situation with real people that are dangerous. Had that yeah well mean even though my Riera had a fucking crocodile Hunter Joe However, the aim squeeze the testicles of its quota, buddy russian direction. Do you think that there is also clubs in LOS Angeles, that are on, like the comic set? Hang out there and ruthless? You didn't police each other

as much as like say like the comedy store. I don't think well because I know I'll tell you what there was a situation at the laugh factory for awhile yeah. Where is like a den of thieves? Well, I heard that also about the ha ha and Honestly. I think that video you made Brian. I think that video made comments that hadn't started yet, who are now anywhere between seven years in and one year in, which is likely the ones that start stealing yeah and the ones that are around clubs all the time those people are more likely to look out for it now yeah. Those people are all the ones. Okay, I can't wait to catch somebody, so I think it's like it has put a serious dent the ones that have happened since and like the Patton Oswald one got out, and you know, there's been a few that have gotten out or people got this, but those people are done man, they tortured it's over when you steal a joke today, in this day, like there's, a difference between similar premises and and and parallel thinking,

and then someone who makes it it's like. Yes, man when a guy makes a career at doing other people shit because now and then they try to do one of their own bets when they I do one of their own bits, fucking, brutally obvious that they, the humor in these bits, is impossible for them to have also come up with other stuff. It's not it's not the same mind so again. Today. Go there it once one of the new guys there was like ten years ago struggle struggle struggle that crash on a bit about taking other girls bra that, I saw on tonight show like, like three six months earlier, It was- and I was, and that but BOM Bom Bom done because, like yeah man still needs to do this one bit about having an argument with an arab guy about whose country is more about. I don't like that. Someone came up to

was that you should be very careful in our like it was so obvious and he wrote that bit because it was so dumb and retarding clunky. I was like so obvious that a person who had been stealing for so long like this over the years these? These are the ones you came up with on your own. It amazing you would think, though we would have the form No, this form of it. No, It's not enough studying it like a scholar, they just minor, burning shit, repeating things wow, it's like watching directions on your gps. You don't know we to get there, but also what happens? Is you don't learn the language there's Real subtle language of comedy, you know language of music, yeah, well, yeah, it's very similar because, like comedy like music, it has a rhythm to it and there's tension and release. Yes, you can get away with the worst joke if you made it like. Oh, what's, gonna go the pledge to confront last hard, and you would think that someone who knows how to repeat that shit would also know how to create it. But it's not it's not because you

also the mentality that it takes to steal. Is the exact opposite mentality that it takes to sort of open up your mind and be creative like to be like empty and creative, like the mentality of a person? Is steel very selfish. It's very me me me it's very all about getting it done and getting successful, and it has nothing to do with the is you're not trying to be an artist at all, whereas like to be creative. You have to have an artist mentality. You have to relax, you have to like let the ideas you have to respect the ideas like the Stephen Book, the war of art. About the muse, like whether Muse muses a real thing. That's like the concept of like like a ban yourself to the whim of the news and we're.

Yeah working hard and working hard. Tony stark burr get off stage the store and he was like so awesome new bit and he was like. Oh man, you just keep coming up with new stuff he's like yeah. I guess so. I guess I'm just so come so easy for you and there's no make no mistake about it. This does not come easy for Maine snotty. But it's, but it is easy. You know it's not easy and it is easy to get a habit form. I think humans are just a form of force of habit. I've been writing that much more lately over the last couple months as a kind of weird, because I have actually have like last time, but I've been in less time a busy listen to tat but I'm forcing it in I'm making myself do it, because you had that problem on news, radio right, oh yeah, dear NEWS, radio, when I first got on tv, I fucking didn't do shit and that was a big jump. One years yeah yeah. Well, I was tired all the time because you were on a set, especially in the beginning, it radio, radio

so we got it down to it was where it was like. We didn't even have to show up four days a week like sometimes we only did three day weeks. Yeah, we would get the string schedules yeah. We would get the Dan that we block it. The next day they would shoot at the next day was like three days was easy. We we knew and the right is really good and it was you know it got to a good point, but be beginning. It was long long, fucking hours lazier, I I just stop doing stand up and then some of doing it. Well, no, I do but I wasn't. I wasn't writing anything new. I was like going. Put the same old over and over and over again for, like two years I got in Anything new for like two years sounds. It was terrible. I mean I might have had like a bit here or there, but they were dog shit. I just wasn't focusing on at all. I was working all day doing the show and then after it was over, if I did it said it was like a maintenance that I would just go up on the weekend and and just do like do bits that I don just go through the

oceans. I wasn't good, I had lost my my spark and I'd lost the thing that actually got me to the dance in the first place. You got it back. I can see a lot of never never get back yeah. Well, that's one. I told you, I saw TIM Allen once until now and hadn't done stand up in a long time and then he went on stage and it was like it was like a famous guy had never done stand up before would never believe it. He was like this guy who, like would dominate stand. Ok would damage good, oh yeah, for the time he was great. This move the Alice punch lines. It was powerful stuff. He was really good at the time. You know I key, like people want to go, see that guy, with the reason why I got that show because it was yeah. It's not real people, love done, I mean it was it was. It was good early member him as a stand up. It was good. It was good people like to go, but he was not good. When I saw him he was done, he was done, it was over, was it was a mess he had done? You know, seven years of home improvement had been living. This bell air and lifestyle and completely out of the loop of comedy,

grind and getting up there and that you lose that feels without studio. Well, my set. I had one set that I fuckign eight dick in front of the writers of news radio, oh yeah, one of my friends, my friend Josh Lieb, was a writer and a couple other people that were there, who I really respect it. I like them and they they went out to see we are going to start to. You know it was, really late too. There was no there's no energy in the room. There was no energy, it was like. I was getting on the main room at like one amateurish and down it was like it can ever invite sitting like lies there. I didn't know, I didn't know. I didn't know that, come see me when you get to work to be comment store when I am, but it wasn't the one I am because I could do that same one. I am sat now and I would kill, for whoever's there I'd be fine, because I prepare, but I didn't know

first of all, I had been doing that much stand up and I hadn't written anything new and I just wasn't smooth. I was just bad. It was awkward I felt like shit, and I remember leaving going God dammit. I can't I was really upset with myself, because I've had some bombs before but like I could sort rationalize unlike them like. Oh, I wasn't ready for that time delay. I was already a real legit headliner that point like I could go on the road and kill for an hour. You know it wasn't like is good as the stuff I'm doing now, but like some of my sex, jokes and all that stuff, like some of the really old stuff like it would kill. It was good. It was good stuff. You know, but I was just I was complete, Lee out of sorts. I was saying the words without thinking about him. I realized that I had completely left my focus away from stand up and that, harassment forced me to really gear up. So then I

doubling up and tripling up on my sats. I started writing again and then within a yeah within two years. I did my first album and it was way more yeah. I was already way better: I'd I'd completely turned it around within two years are totally completely turned around, but it was one of those things where I realize, like oh I'm, a lazy bitch. I I lost my the thing that need to show business in the first place. It's amazing how few then, whatever does is spark you if you then just push like. I am a comic and I'm write this yeah. You tell me turn out out great stuff, oh yeah, yeah, I'm a professional, that's part of war of art. You just hired a professional to write yourself for you yeah, this part of the war of art is being a pro and that's this new book. It's called going pro going pro yeah fucking raise really really inspirational. That attitude, like I'm professional, comic noise, like you know I here the day. Before I show you I did this show at the state theater in New Brunswick, okay.

Real, probably the best set of ever had my life, one of them top ten. Ever so for my I'm in my hotel room and I like how this attitude and like the next three hours work on my and I don't do that usually before I show or before I show it's like. I did a show last night. I know how to do it. I don't like sit down and go over all my shit, but I went over all my shit. I wrote on my laptop, I wrote on paper I bit set list out on paper and I wrote bits out on a lot and I work for hours. I dropped Joey off at five clock we had eight o'clock show and for two and a half three hours all I did was right wow, it's amazing! and it was one of the best shows I've ever had it was my mind was like sparked by the time I got on stage were working it already. So I'm working you know you gotta certain a you can pull off just do just do. I might have a great set right now. You could just give me a microphone in this. Of its crowd might crowd. I can kind of get into a groove right now, but to have the best chance of that,

you should really sit down and go over your shit and there was a couple of things that I said in the set that I had written down for the first time that day, while you were going over your stuff and I I to a new angle and that new angle killed. There was a couple- new bits, new, add new and new angles, not just fresh but insightful, like I'd. I'd hit, a nerve like all here's another that have no Vayne, also yeah. They were doing when you're thinking on stage for doing through a bit. Like his point, a point be points. The sports borders on my head was a super quick gas to put a link between the Indy yeah. I get it, but on when you're beforehand, hotel room you have somebody acidic a hold on, and you can take forty seconds minutes to think it out yeah and now like ok, that's it I needed that? I wouldn't have had on stage you know I like talking about bombing and I think it's it's I like talking about when I was a loser. I like talking about my failures in life. I like talking about being in secure because I've met fuckin people that thank me for that. That thought that

Like here's, this disguise been on tv and his host for the. U S: calm, everything's groovy, but there's no does groovy man we're just people and it's a weird ride for everyone that baby blowjob joke you suck a dick and not always, but sometimes it would alienate crowd yeah, they would get upset and what are you doing yeah and then it worked. It worked, it worked it and it got to where it's just every time. I needed figure out a joke to make the biggest taboo ever funny, and that was charmer station the most horrible non funny thing woods and people say listen, child molestation is never funny. It turns out it's ok if the girls high and it's a boy What you said in the interview were like. Have you ever seen a each other's funny goes. Special.

There's a way to work, almost everything to the point where it's funny, and sometimes it's an exercise just to try to get there just to see if you can do it by the way my special is available right now boom. So that's how you market shit, it's called passive aggressive and you can get it at Rshafer com right at the top of the page and by the way I have heard, I would not lie to you and I would not bullshit, but I've heard nothing. But compliments about that. So many people told me this is your best shit ever and so many people told me that they liked it even more than your last special which they like to study the album, which we have right here, which is also on Itunes, which is revenge for the Holocaust. It's the evil! free spider of those things, he's going after Hitler bug us leave them alone. Did Hitler alone, revenge for the how cause, which was, by the way, number one on Itunes bitches. That's everything changed everything. Everything really do that changed everything that

when they all woke up and they go. Oh this guy's for real. I start getting the clubs more. I was like I can just do this, they all realise that you have a following yeah. You know what you, it's always open it. Opening, for you is always like oh yeah, yeah you're funny, but it's tough to do man. I told you like at one point in time I told you we were talking about I'm like we, you you like trying figure out whether or not you wanted to do this gig or you had something else come up. I go. Dude people are coming to see you like, you got a realize. They're coming to see you too they they will eventually follow you somewhere there. There's not a lot of opportunities to get in front of a thousand people, get have of a thousand be especially within we're doing club so be over a week in a thousand Moreover, not if you to get a thousand you can make a thousand fans and then thousand feet haven't, even when to remember your name. If they're real fans of ours going to be paying, this whole Luke's see you enough, the

don't remember you. You saw you we started doing shows and then the real highlight of it was in Toronto, which I have on my fucking phone somewhere, but I'm not going to find it. I tried to find it the other day when you weren't here talking about in Chicago coming. You went on stage yeah. You went on stage and the fucking place went crazy Toronto yeah, our auto Massey Hall, they date three thousand four hundred people in when you went on stage. They were cheering for like thirty, because, like I, you like only well what that was. you realize, like, oh, my god, they're my fans too, and then you were off to the races and then from there it's like all the sudden. Your headline in all these places, you're selling out all these places, and sometimes all it takes, is like one tweet. Note them them like, like guy, you know, is here: well, that's the beautiful thing about

twitter personnel in its yeah, and it's like it's it's it's a good news. Distribution center! It's like all our spheres, new special out. You know d, as in Montclair you know the Brian Red Bands in Sacramento. Thank you. Can you can use it and, like you, you can just bomb, everybody up, everybody just pushes everybody gets pushed into the mainstream and then everyone's got a career Toronto is so such a good, I'm going there at the beginning of June Toronto's made, but I'm going outside on her I'm going to Hamilton in London. I, like those places, are two hours outside. Let's go there. Dude Toronto is a shit. That's one of my favorite cities ever The people are like a city with nice. People doesn't make sense, and I know this bags in will get yeah, but New York with nice people know how angry well sure some a few. But it's like it's a noticeably different, down the average american gigantic city, tropical city, at city, as in Chicago

Chicago is very much like that in America I know Chicago gets a lot of murders, but I'll tell you, man, a fucking love Chicago people. There's some fun people they're like the nicest kind of people that you find in drink so hard and they eat hard. Oh yeah that's salary. Had the fucking salad sugar in it sugar all over a great pizza for like to do what is that? What do you hold it up? This is the best pizza, in LOS Angeles, isn't in Chicago where's that its monarch valley. California, knows that it is not right, guy, the guys from Chicago someone always brings to where do they. Ding Dong shows member that guy here eight pizza where's, the plague which Monroe Valentine everything's, like I think it's like it in an hour away from LOS Angeles by why I just brings up pizzas, whereas all the time it's so a bride. Do me a favor put my Boston date on the twitter page, going to bust I'm going in July? There's a UFC there. What are you doing? The Wilbur yeah

where the first show already sold out at your hometown. Yeah first show old out, but I'm doing another one it, Sir August sixteen August. Yet have they just added? That's it. That's hilarious! It's already sold down as an August. Does your hometown homecoming yeah man, almost all down the first day, just just went the tickets just one the other. I don't get to Boston enough. It's one of the best places ever to perform and maybe I'll fucking record my new shit. There is the perfect time it back home back home two shows at a theater a fight in Asia. But as right know, It's all new! It's all new! That's it's! A hundred percent new from my last specials, not one not to do it comedy works. That's not a bad! Second Adam home situation well, it's also like the Wilbur's, a weird theater, because it's a thousand people but they're all like right in your face. It's like there's, there's water level should only a club with yes like chairs and tables. Then it goes either end of the balconies fairly low

they're still like right in your face yeah now. So if I decide to do it I'll, let you guys know if I decide to do that, but you know like for emotional reasons: it's probably a good place to do it because it's like that is my that's where our story starters hi. I will always have a a devotion to Boston Common in the Boston comedy scene. In the you know, it's like the There was no place like that in the eighties. There's no place in the world like that spot, and it's not like that. I like that anymore. You know, I know the Austin has a scene, and I know the San Francisco at the scene and this this seems all over the country, but Boston doesn't have the same scene that he used to have it used to have the last scene. It was gonna place was like there was these media centres like New York and allay where everybody aspire to go to, but then, as far as like the place without which is Pompano Savages now, like get all the guys who came from that era. Anthony Clark, a lot of people don't respect now watching

He was fucking badass in the 80s. I'm telling Anthony used to kill Louis CK, David Cross, nicked APOLLO trees, Patrice O'Neal Bill, Burr, dude, stop and think about that? Kelly Mark Maron, yeah dude. Are all Boston. Guys and Stephen but that was before Lenny Clark you can keep going on and on and on that one spot, that little shit hole city pumped out a fuckload, comic silo high level comics man Fitzsimmons. How do I forget Greg dude? I did his podcast at CAP city. They did a live. One Greg had one yeah, but I was there for a month or anyway. So this is the It's fitzsimons ginning! Hurrah following any killer who in the middle I'm just looking at all at some point to MIKE. What am I doing here yet? Well, Fitzsimons in you make sense, but all but to when I started is already like a mad guy,

you mean, as far as like status, wise, so you're still trying to accept the fact that you're religion comic yeah. I guess well you're more than shipping killer? I love. Can there were you much more legit thing killer? You can't sell out a club for a week. I guess this is the one I gave you know how, when I should be mean about that. But I'll start, and I say that again yeah. I say that because I don't think can there gets respect he deserves. I think also because killer is kind of like the ultimate back. The room crowding his hilarious very, very, very funny: was Garofalo like political is, but we also really nice political as fuck yeah. She saw into that stuff yeah. It's kind of a silly game right it's shows shows over. We love you, you love. Are you fox? party on prosper, Godspeed. Now that.

I can tell you about all the podcast sponsors again, but I think you probably heard all the shit before I have a podcast. Oh, he has a podcast called Ori Shafir skeptic tank yeah Tom rose is on this week and is not necessarily even skeptical about everything. It's just a good name. Just me questioning this, would it Tom roses on powerful road dog tom? Well, you know yeah! That's in their diner asked me where you living now. It goes in these shoes, man wow, that's legit that spot the spot. That's a legit, fucking, crazy person yeah! I couldn't do that but I can't now he met a girl. I got married. It was like, if you want to do this. You gotta pair down well and cheese She with she goes with them everywhere the road, the whole life? Oh, my god, and every weekend is a club or festival wow. The woman. It's really willing to live your life about her own life, but at that it's cool yeah, the world, hey, look at and bingo shit. We're sometimes times

Ha Sacramento. Ladies gentlemen, yeah Brian Red going to be doing comedy Sacramento this weekend, Friday and Saturday and then Sunday and Hobbs, along with toys cliff hilarious, Sab, Tripoli, hilarious. So it's a good time. Thank you for everything. Thanks for coming, the shows for all the twitter messages, thanks to all your fans, man, thanks for all the love we love them pump, tell tell them up. We love you fam, you fuckers annual breakdown, supporting combination, keep it it real. It's a mute, exchange. You help us to be better at everything and we love you go fuck yourself. Yeah.