« The Joe Rogan Experience

#362 - Eddie Ifft

2013-05-28 | 🔗
Eddie Ifft is an American stand-up comedian and also hosts his own podcast called "Talkin' Shit with Eddie Ifft"
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
well that's the nighttime version of the monkey because the monkey has been up again and punch and shared and eaten fermented berries said item again isaac and all the monkey cock thus attire my hat ass out of the jerome experience pike ass is brought to you by hover if you have not been to hover i have actually actually used and use it to register a domain names which shows when those due to god in on the action like when you get by business tat car accident does wizards that made like a fuckin family fortune but having the right name coke it's it's really hard it i did it and now i just have a bunch of demands on my care of this is worth anything anywhere how did you do very say that wants it seldom you fuck what would he gathered worth something
no i don't even know if they you know think they are like i have one that's a job in lamps you know i have traveled lamps is worth something mr kiwi mr queuing if his business called mister king they might be and to sounds like us an apple juice and japan you know worth some sort of a fruit beverage i just got let go of alive i pill humping dot com pill humber pillow humbird dark boy that was a gold mine passed up to now the thing where those free had forty hover is i've used it won't tell you the domains are because if i have some controversial domain out there and you like who is writing this crate shit maybe a waiter the domain that you use that several no one that no one here is that you have no one not even make you ve never told me about my pet science projects like that
hovered dot com ford slash rogan when the beautiful things about hovers that you get free who domain name registration privacy that means you could have dick party in my mouth dot com which by the way we do we registered at hover well is because if you wanted you know not people did not know that party my mouth dotcom was your website i think i'll make sense damn i want to know your ears anyway hovered our comfort slash rogan go there get ten percent off your domain name registration it's very easy to use i am i i enjoy using the internet and i enjoy going online and pulling information from them how i quite honestly do not know much about how to work everything about the technologically savvy i'm just too fuckin busy but hover is so easy it's so intuitive
there was a zero hassle owning and managing domain names with a real user the user interface is very intuitive so i recommend them hover dotcom ford slash rogan yes i am very security also covers your address in areas where the slow san free who is domain name security shows tone this amid the burden cummings theater and when a peg june for for its old our badge i'm at the bare to theatre carbon grill with irish of fear in reach alaska in this just went on sale today we're doing one night up there to do comedy to pay for our fishing trip we are efficient so that's june 26th two thousand and thirteen i can want to go to last the forever man i just want to see it i just heard the saying i heard just blow your mind like you go up there and just meet you never look at nature the same just to realize how
see animals eat and yes give my friends who have been there like that my hunter friends have been there they say it's like you have to go there you have for once in your life just to see this unexplored it literally you you might go somewhere where the humans never been like it's possible to do that still unalaska i give you really want to get crazy and take off a plane and fly two hours out just land somewhere it's very likely no one's ever that's crazy this has been a lot of goddamn people on this planet long ass time but it is possible that you could find us in alaska where there's never been a human being we're i'm goin but you know what they are sk on women look like like men really the last l i'm sure there's a few hobbes up there the just taken deck like it's gonna style because you have so much power of your woman up there i think do just have to get used to toss in girls around a bit allowing us fight over girl threw up there about how to wash they ship a man they have like that like mail
chef but yeah there's a lot of that but that's a commitment in the kind of girl it's one is pack up her shit and fly across the country liver the crab fishermen models bitch is a crazy as is this male about you know somebody one there's crazy they live in a last but i think its awesome too you know i really enjoy these shows that i've been watching i watch like there's alaska the last frontier and man in all these subsistence shows i fuckin lovely shows man the born alaska the last frontier these are not stupid people people who you would totally hang with your young couple i did shows up their loved it at every person i talked to i'd be like what what you come to alaska and they go i love the outdoors and ever of like there's outdoors in florida you buried a body somewhere and levin had somewhere they come to get you i think people woods come and get you unalaska i don't think that's that's
a fundamental and when i city like anchorage when i went there i went from new york flew to seattle and i just figured it was like another hour from seattle and like six hours later of like are you kidding me like i didn't look at the map and figure out that like a lot it's a fall don't be doubly rude did well understood lastly let me look like a duck i wish the number for its version now that's mean its neck that's not what i mean is it real human you see and hear what she's a hot what he's like how she the number fourth org looking woman said gerda last august seventeen desired why i don't have it in order to seven man yet this is order of popularity now just would google pops up you should use being no it's not so anyway alaska bear to theatre bub pub and grill anchorage alaska take these girls pictures down to please thank also at the joint at the hard rock july sixth with joy
is so it that's the night before the you have saved as you have c on seventh no sixth you have seize on six march shows in the fifth so friday july fifth at hard rock at the joint should be lot of fun i'm never done that place i've been there for you see fights for forward have never done stand up there that in vegas that in vegas years my friend and then the more theatre in seattle on july twenty sixth to some other shit come up a garage arrogant click on the tour thing and you can find it all there so brought you as always buy on dot com does oh and an ip if you ve heard the commercial before sorry but i have to keep saying it there's no new way to say what is on its human performance site so foods and supplements and fitness equipment men exercise dvds all stuff that we prove that we enjoy stuff that i feel is beneficial
four fitness for your strength and conditioning for your mental clarity for even new mood which actually boost your mood elevates or saratoga level since healthy and natural but you nostrils take it if you're on ss our eyes because s arise essentially do a chemical version of the same idea the boost you're you're u chemicals in your brain and new mood can do it naturally but i don't know what you need if you doktor scott you want some shit you either in either that's good its it may very well be good or you maybe you should try to do it naturally either one you would have to know that may you might need it i have no idea i've met people that absolutely need antidepressants and they used it its change your life and made them happy so i would never say but i'm is dictating this one great jamak friend molly also this stuff is good if you ever friendly molly because that bitch with fuck your brain up drain it dry and people who's this
are you talking so mean about all these people must know molly therapy then enjoy mood supplements analyse the moon supplements are all five http is all been proven to elevate serotonin wilson makes you are miss filbert sir it's not subtle either i find it's pretty obvious why take it finally sepia first found out about because new brennan atomic you seem like fuckin ridiculous mouths when he was and i dont know if he doesn't anymore because i think he's on some other stuff to answer you not supposed to do both of them at the same time but its suggesting stuff look into it though like always if for instance taking any sort of supplement and boost this jack's up that or air itself look into it because there is controversy behind it but i can tell you that everything that we have on on it is something that either i use or would you
i buy or something that i feel is beneficial so that's on a dot com use a code nay rogan saviours those among a much you're going to do the cow shakes area did you take one i did not take one but i know what he said is if i tell you what calcium he said it kills gusto nano you said even if you aegis if it's raw zaza calcium keeps out of the stuff from affecting a body but he recommends it for cooking for couple reasons one cause it kills even more and to because it makes them bio available a softer i believe him but i served to look into it myself i have heard so many people say great things about the benefits shakes but also what you talked about that one time about algeria bacteria like fungal growth similar to what he was talking about michael toxins yankee timescale i do i do i don't drink it a drink kill shakes because i guess i'm not gonna eat that much there's no aiming to eat a giant you know thirty ounce fuckin
it mean if you stack than a ball i'm not sure knowledge should die you kill salads when i'm blended download them mount as massa with two number and use ginger rock garlic i just i just talking ass taking burst of nutrients but a day ass she was talking about the potential depend potential downsides of eating a massive amount of detail that it has it actually has a type of acid in it that is designed to keep it from being eaten by things to discourage predation comic sense but to read into it so good a bullet proof exact our com allow people think that guy's always trying to make money he has so much shit on line for free it's ridiculous his his website has hundreds of thousands of little things on it for free and these have a pre years before he started making is on coffee and celebrate and all other stuff but he has
wrote something about upgrading the coil shake and so your energy i'll fix you should read that because scientifically very fast i have to read it and read the opposing and you know how it is to have a look into that shit yo that's it evokes eddie if this year you might know em you might not you might be in love with them but we're gonna talk some shit we're really it's obama things roger will gain experience by any ifs boom that's what i'm sand buddy boom forty gus i'm fuckin groovy how are you doing to and good every known and i need to see something online to let me feel i feel like a mile imo guy you're yellow itself
and then he read about someone online is this why we want a wacky his fucking things anybody's ever sat me the still on national geographic taboo it's a fake paraplegia ec who he used to be a woman who used to be a man rather and then became a woman and then fake being paraplegic while you while words while she had a secret and secret was issues affect paralytic she went around wheelchair pretending have a spinal cord injury fooling everyone do you think you know weird people in your life and then you read about these random that it's like that beyond anything the craziest weirdest people on arrows even cringe comprehend she's not dummy she's a fuckin p its de she's a chemist slid solid sitting and i used to be a man right side
become a woman side effect to choose paralyzed messaging experiments i'll thinks you can't put these two things in the same category though you know like i don't know she could made herself a paraplegia if she wanted to russia's molested by goldfish was what you just say everything that comes to mind really was why was it like i wear a goldfish would make you pretend to be parallel is that you're like where would who would molest due to do some crazy that is something i think the only thing that comes back to being molested from some for the most part we people are crazy did do you really think so it does a lot of times you fear that that but it's usually sexual guy at molested don t usually acta sexual or as a lot things like borderline personality disorder that combating it sanctions that libya is a lot of times here
and i had a friend who love dating girls have been abused because he said there are always the crisis in bed i sent a bit about it i said when you have sex with like a really really like a girl that she's so good and bad i go all i want to do i want to enjoy it but i just want to say like which uncle do i have to thank for this because it no there is this like sometimes like that the craziest crazy is best actually i've ever had opened up let us say that airport albert i but i had sex with a chick who were it was the crazy sex i read my life and she was squirt her she was like it was insane and she was fucking me one day and she goes fuck me ardor fuck me harder and i went a fucking you as hard as i can and then she wanted me across the face like hard and i just went stop you gotta go unlike get out of my house like i'm just fucking crap
me and i was like tat and she just resting her that bitches and she just starting she started bali and i go why then why are you crying you just hit me i should be crying you hit me sort she goes and we start in the next thing you know your grandfather molested are and all this stuff and she became prostitute those values will after me lapping you centre to prostitution with your rejects i've set i sent two girls to process all my god i remember when i sent them one check i just stated or for a while and then like years later we remain friends and choose hot so hot model like smoking hot and she calls me and she goes like prelate the hottest driver dead it and she goes i was in new york let's get together and have a drink just friends cuz over and having a drink and she said i said i'm looking for a place in new york like a room to rent just cuz i go back and forth from la to new york
she's waiting come live with me in my god i wish our room within its rights and that didn't i gotta to bedroom i go where it is fifty seventh street my who lives on fifty seventh street like it's like you know like serious real estate wit ye you you're always getting kicked out of the car you know any word she is i a ninety grand in the bank i go wait you get ninety grand she goes this other model i know said hey you wanna go to miami for the weekend she's went down we party with these guys we did coke all night and she goes i fooled round her but did i went home and there's twenty five grand in my bank account and like twenty five grand gulf outlook for that too five grand why for a week and it must be nice to build a billionaire bawler due to just order up some twenty five thousand dollar girls twenty five grand while for a week and they had this is balikh wherewith that i am my other either with those girls are good in that one country where reception city was
when by so many girls that have turned down the twenty five thousand our offer from some king that just like just goes it's all the ladys at twenty five thousand week you know and thereby i know some of you will then have to the damned they also know a couple grows i've done it and that's fucking easy i think there's quite a few of those guys out there i ve been to do by a number of times and their fifty dollar ones there fifty dollars for a prostitute yeah but what i'm saying is that these guys they get girls from american haven't shipped oh yeah that's me that's crazy shit that kind of money is that's a with a weird reality you know when you have like trillions of dollars i just people who like i think is full as private wealth is concerned we know and you see like the richest man in the world may not really ok is what you getting is the richest man in the world who has assets that are measurable stock market we deal with kings you don't have any fucking idea how much those guys have you don't
why should you know i gotta buddy who have a bank i gotta body whose a billion a real live billionaire and i never knew he had money for years he was just my friends friend and i never knew we hung out new york and everything and then one day i was reading about his family in the newspaper and i went holy fuck and i called him on the phone like you have money he's like emily no no no you have like fuckin money in his family does yeah and i said this is bullshit we have never gotten to take advantage of this i said you have like crazy fuck you money years later he came into the money like where it was his that's so quickly to sit around lazy waiting for it to happen waiver some well now i worked hard but but someone did ironic away who we possibly is that ok but in one year he went from fuckin zenith nator like he it straight to rehab
like a year in a year from when he like took over the money too he was he would call me like i'm in vegas i got the top floor the wind rented i guess lip and slides down the hallway there there's trip version hookers everywhere we got midgets in storm trooper outfit serving the strengths and he'd like all the private jet pick you up get here now how much money do the inherent that five billion oh my yeah yeah cheerful good then he's not on any account it that's the best corporate he's not finding vertical that's a complete all danger goddamn he's not fund billion dollar one guy that lie not fun but it has the rehab kind of killed it yet now you only need a year before we wonder he have while that's awareness and what was a fork oak looking ah the merits rancho
have you seen that shit monsieur le maire toronto gabatha smoking ground so larry stiff pictures of smoking cracked it took pictures boys modern crack the mare toronto parities he's just a fuckin wild man he's out there like in the hood smoking the mayor man knows very mayor buried i'm dc smuggling necessary feels like mary barrack into working to work i do it i never i might button el partner on my radio show new york would smoke crack jesus and i heard it when i joined the show they were like don't hang out with them don't lend money oh my god and they knew this in any way on the air we totally functioning fungal anyway and we would the he would party hard any hit a gambling problem he still on the radio now and i want to say is neighbour party line but but ass i was like i'm pretty short well known so i'm not i'm not saying you say it's fuckin name now i just gave out a duty now but anyway he won
what gives the first day legalised picture the mayor spoke craft day we went through ass we went to big to get lunch firstly on the air these thoughts dog and we comedy and he's like the u make money don't many unlike any psychic you let me some money first day my god so let me some money so then one night he never came to my shows or in one night came to shout stand of new york comes to the show he's at my show and i have to do like three shows there after the first show he's like excited grable because let's go out let's go we're gonna do out and i'm like ice ground here is that no come we're gonna go party will come back whose voice you're doing i'm not telling you use but he laughed and i never saw him again that night and we heard a story ended up like in the bus day he was buying crack using a bus station but he's been fired from every radio station and fuck it
crack crack who does what have you money why don't you just go straight to the good shit why would you go to elect a shady dry asked my friend and he said he just a it was such a bad thing for him he couldn't say no to anything so when you around drugs everything just start coming around like he would go ok i'll try that i'll try that this when you want sports guys have your job you any w more exports guys you're a deck will you do you're the one who's tell me it's in the thought you were being regulated major rodya thou there you how dare you that's exactly the fact that if we want so the deuce name three trying to avoid it i've seen enough i want weirdly haven't spoken to him since then like we are aware and out seem to know i talked to him cracking i talked to him this week does he look like wonder because pitcher look at this picture i talked to a month roddy or saturday yeah that's nice time and like ten
you're working with people that are on drugs is very strange hang with people that i am i had a friend with that a serious fuckin crack coke and heroin problem and eventually died good buddy man in new york and he no he would fuck and vanished he would go and benders and you don't want to get dropped off like near crack house like she was it was crazy many clean up for a while and be gray in any go right back at it and did you ever work the kansas city club stanford no fuck you those beetle juice you know one of them one of them died in all things out of nowhere gaza current regulation i gotta get a miser roddy things happening in i'm begging this black check out his letter she's let it she's very hard joe rogan we'll come back here i don't know why we're column every week and interest rate of return my calls
i would like to come back to china setting deal with those issues are great to have a new rearview mirror the aim is to be no no oral while their characters and i appreciate that i really do i appreciate our common club owners mean be hidden i had a good time working for a guy he didn't try to fuck we now know yacht along ways you pays you remain men men financial issues before me these guys to this day that i will never forget in ireland is a couple gives us to work for the try to fuck me they didn't get away with kill me but i know the fact that they tried to and it's like come on man a yell lies about how many tickets or soul than you find out or you know there's clubs of theirs a famous story of a guy on stage at a club and he makes everybody in the club cow often number like the first what i do bag he is to use a stage time
finally i know i'm letting go of argo financially but the fuckin it was two hundred seats under what he thought it was technically daddy's like this is not three hundred fuckin seeds man and the guys are just retreats are you running autonomy and we had no deals money is wrong we oh yeah the comedian was right by the canadian was right the club tried to fuck em by two hundred seats i heard i heard a comic at one of the clubs when clubs those working that a comic through and that he would take so many camps they would sell it out neither gives on a guarantee and then they would take strike for the camps or whatever and then his manager would be outside scale in the com my was bare get up now but i love that story that sounds normal
sounds like a guide trying to hustle gonna make money what you gonna do you now maybe managing guys on tv the blue was a big name names will lower ones to make an extra me what are they the guy that appeals to pay their bills their dear you guys ever companion i ve done it before rather sitting back and is trying to kid like a rough number i agree absolutely ideal you should do that we should know how many seeds club has legitimately figure a deal but if you don't doesn't matter if you get paid x amount per week i've had some jenny shit just have the nightly where i where i've you know it i should think about you think about whether now usa i know you sign this you now and like i said i appreciate comic level
because it's a fucking business that i dont want to be an open i don't have to deal with a bunch of guys like us fish imagine doing with a bunch of us every week that's who you making you live off of russia be crazy go to college ideas to show up for we can you don't pay if you fuckin bills you know they get account on this category i would not be crazy that guy show up and not do crack after the first show and then fuck off though the last two shows the club i just worked at the club owner great guy in italy too funny it have you ever heard of this club captain brian's now you know that right now it's seafood restaurant in florida and the guy brings in the big big names and drew care you just did it recently in and he this guy knows how to market he knows how to sell tickets he's in this little island implored uncle marco island any packs the seafood place any cells everyone at dinner and he's moving up up near naples to six hundred and fifty seat location that possible if they move the chairs right they can put it
of an hundred alma got any awesome any stands by the comics i love this because there is a comic a gun trouble recently like gotten trouble down there and in the cops or after many stood by and on the other night i got a bit of an older kay cannabis club and i thought he wasn't there and i thought i called him the next day to kind of say look wasn't my fault just want to let you know and they're all like don't worry about it he's got your back keys he's stands behind his comments and i thought you know i'm gettin they're gonna tell me never fucking come back here blah blah blah and any seas he's one of those good guys there's a lot of real there's a lot of sky but there's a lot a piece of shit some business the maker business is tough first of all things who's your the people you do for the most part are drunk you you basically a drug dealer
that's it you're not only that they do their drugs in your establishment and by the way you could be sued if you give them too many drugs and they get in their and and go smashed into something killer so you got a lot of stress and then you got these people that it wants a yell things i want to show is going on and then you have to get them kicked out and then find out our ten has been stolen from here and then if you know this is going to dance go and have comics the where in the world in your place i think we're not the worst i think we're second i find who bands we are using bans will be worse but i think they and get a little more of a little more leeway than comics i don't know about that man they're expected the fuck up there their expected to be wild and crazy but i know ban which were don't him a pilots and they were hired for a birthday party of a friend of mine anyway and i was there while that's
scott gaudily diet was thrown a fuckin temper tat was in the dark about the show like has to start in you know in x amount of minutes or their fuckin leaving in fact this fact doesn't need a heroine at it yeah they were paying a shit load of money to be there and it was really weird because the show starts and they i mean this is private party fuckin stone temple party stoned pilots is that a private parties i guess i dunno what insane amount of money to have to pay them to do that but i assume it was big money so anyway i'm that they come out an hour fuck email in it but no pay attention it's the weirdest thing ever because you got stone temple pilots and their own state and their fucking killing it that guy is a bad mother fucker and then when i watch and i was like i was like inspired to perform better on stage after watching him do alive show but i tell you there's ten people as for a being kind
ten people on dance work and stone temple mother fucking pilots design stage they didn't know to do yet because nobody had been sitting down before we brought stone temple pilots up it was happy birthday dean saying a bunch people we gave speeches and i gave a speech in than i brought up stone temple pilots so and then someone says one of the executives i come on what it get out get out get up i give her bad that no was on the dance floor but it was it was a strange moment like first while people did not expect the stone temple pilots can be there was a surprise so kind of trip day now tripped everybody other like what and then both these guys go up on stage and people didn't know exactly what to do well ivo i've i've talked to guys abandoned and for them you know for us corporate sir and how would feel you u filling a whore well they do to in and it's tough because when we play a concert their fans come to see them all the sun in that crowd might have been maybe a tenth of the people were their fans
well they're so bad ass it didn't matter but what did matters at the end he had to sing happy birthday to dana i had a singer happy that you singing happy birthday and not a single sands your man and you're saying have diverted to a man and that's part of like a slow song was elected like a rock outside as divans and me can't sing now fast when you're gonna he just got kicked out by the way they kicked pilots kicked whom i met a man do you know the bar right next to the left actor forget what yeah hide or some yeah then there one night and this did walks up to me and asked me for drugs i look at i look at home and i go holy fuck it you i don't like how cliches this like you just but he and and was all i would imagine unlike scott while in just finance because i'm everyone in there was like a asked us to hear their gauges
i walked around going around she got drugs you got drugs i hung out with that from friday last night the big guy looks like being raised by ms out one of his eyes like silver and stuff like that i'm talking about that big big black to let us know debo o ye i only right here he was there with his daughter like six year old seven year old daughter and his wife and he just came in to hang out for payment where to the comedy store all that's left get one a m if you are made famous people go to the comedy clubs in ella they go there's a lot of the ban was there also wasted dna i've got wieland guy what with drugs and specific i don't want to i dont want to say that i think he s not positive i think yes for coke yeah i think he s like somebody would ask for the union s for harrowing i go for we know one as heroin on them who asked for wheat i did ask you for all we will
yeah a lot of people ask me for whatever you hanging around with brochures at the communist or now it's mostly tourists from canada and stuff that's even where and i've been accused actually this week twice i was accused of being on coke doyle yeah well i don't know i'm after my show i met these doctors who went to the same universal went to me sir talking and they came back the next night they were talking to me in some came about drugs nearly a year you really don't do cocaine i should know and they go out we reassure you on cocoa pupils are really dilated and leads to doctors if those on cup so then the next night i got in some gotten us like altercations estonia like you're on coke you're on coke and unlike now not like second the cops and unlike the amount adverts hilarious yeah and i'm like why my servant and i said a little like that's what said why an orange like you're you're evil figure you don't there's a big difference people just like the say shit like that if you have too much energy economy down
slow you down that service subliminal way get you to stop being so if they are getting if they getting evaded you're getting elevated if they say on coke you automatic they tried to like suppress it well is our oecd checkers probably what was happening is this guy and i were kind of getting an fight music called the car core of why do you fight so much fighting noise than ever the vital i never ever do you might get really close but no this one almost happened saturday night about what i walked leaving the comedy club and i'm i'm gone me too i rented a scooter i was on this little island wherein it is early aroused and a common man is always much fuck environment i could not bad i don't trust those car things around you that this island nobody drew their people and golf cart ok so as isolated so i the staff in this bar across the parking lot desirable i thought i'll go in there all really nice they work or i'll go buy them around and taken
going to buy them around drinks and the bartender kind of loses this chick that it one thirty and she's genomes deny blast collar whatever nice it i just want to get them a drink and they said i thought you stay up until two it's always up until two short yelling damage has been really conti to every single person and i like to think good with people so i went around the barn called her to the side to be nice tour and say hey i know you might be having a bad night that kind of thing i'm sorry bob i'm sorry if i ordered around its late because really i wanted more limes him drink did she go me and i go is earning wang it's more limbs and she was really you want more fucking limes in your drink and i was like and then it just started to get more and more heated where she just was like berating may like just
and it wasn't it wasn't like this daniel tosh like ha ha ha joking kind of thing it was she spin hunt to me and i went like this the end she has said he you want your lines now and i go now i don't i dont want the lungs and one anything from you i go cause you're a horrible person i go and i'll say that anyone i know you're horrible person and i walked over to the other the staff and i go she's a worse person i've ever met my life i go well you got of light of does the worse personally earlier while i was exaggerates let me spell horrible within adobe but i cannot at this person i said don't know what happened during their life who physically or mentally abused her whatever i said i've had murderers on my podcast that are nicer people than her i've had i've had a couple people might think that murdered people i didn't say that problem and i said none of them if they ve gone to jail and serve time and without but i go i
though and i just kept talking to them but loudly that she could hear it so she went in the back and started crying and i like a broker she she that was it and i saw him out in the parking lot and of sudden two guys that work in the back of the kids come running out at me and they come like running at me and i know there were cops in the parking lot go where the cops and i'm just backing up like looking for the cops didn't like amounting to fight these guys and then no cops some like all fuck this is happening and i'm like they're gonna they're gonna jump me in others like some town in florida like i don't know do so i do what i do best i lied would you do you want to fuck with me got i look at the longer you you're old i'll drop you in one punch and i looked the guy go i fight i may do i m going to show you out i'm gonna kick your teeth and when you go out i'm kicking your fuckin teeth in and you're gonna you're going to wake up with no teeth right away my scooter
don't worry i didn't register it it diffused it so quickly is the guy realised that he was like a big fat in the truth is one and i could probably here's what happened the old dude and the fat dude wanna fuck the current exactly exact came out to try to get some brandy points they try to do so white knight action but then the dune goes to pull out of his pocket non like ah fuck he's got a gun and i'm like i should adjust run just run when they grow pulls out a cell phone he goes on call the cops from like glutted you guys just we're gonna jump me i go get the cops and you're on coke you're on coke and because i was getting around like a flock and drop both unlike i'll do it and i mean well that florida that sounds like you could move laura i mean the talks of shit and make up a story about you be unanimity fighter would have the guy was likely to fight for our eye i wish list and i was doing anything to save myself from writing fingers i was like i do not want to fight these two guys was me
thing is i never want to go to jail i'm not on cluster phobic idle especially on a gobs don't know the whole story exam you dont know if the guy's gonna be a friend of the copse it on again and a small town like then immediately the cops could beat the fuck out of you friend i had just heard that day about in that was there a few weeks ago who is very funny if you dont name this guy or no i your mother fucker you we have our not tell it i dont think he'll care even is jeff die and on energy that is new guy and he's a funny guy need ie he was unless comic standing he's gotta show em tv which stole some they were like bar after the show and they said a jersey like free new jersey off the wall i took it back to the condo had these ex wherein it taken pictures of it every on these two round voting on instrument pretty on everywhere i then the the bar called the cops cops got involved they stay they bring it back they apologize
everything so show sunday night they go back to the bar after the show they take it again what's fly with it ella once put it back on insecure and then all this should happen again and they had to send it back i mean by that how much of that happens you're weeks ago so in my head on like these cops aren't gonna run i can like a comedian in the park yeah fight yeah jesse judge move jeff day was the one i attacked tony hinge cliff once on on twitter calling him out attacked him about his comedy really can it was it was so long ago we did a pod cas all about it i it was something i didn't like it was something like i'd tony if you know tony's comedy it's very sarcastic very dry very like almost like the jeffrey ross the berne convention what he does for libya rights work and he said
something like he was having like a weird set and antonia said something like he knows like i know i'm a great community and so fuck you are some like that sarcastic and jeff start like tweeting things like tony your ego this some like i can't remember but it is an appeal guess we d nice house chronicles the day it happened and do you know when some situations like that happen with a guy just decides to go after another comedian right it's kind of weird i would you did it's it's a douche bag detecting device that's what it is like when the guy flow there's up like that like all you ve been trying to hold a douche bag damn having in bolivia just flared decided i say something you decided it was time to canada i'm amazed when guys do it because i able i've always been under the impression that like if final like you also i don't like well that's a thing to you like your guys bombing who says i know i'm a great comedian so fuck you guys it's kind of a funny thing to say and you just i'd go and attack em why are you doing
because you're in secure that i always the only reason why anybody to start those kind of a code of ethics among comics tonight go after each year especially when you're fucking around you know i've i've heard people talk shit about guys that went on stage were try out new material a goddamn to refocus saw it was terrible how are you don't even write any new material you'd make it the guy's up there and yeah maybe didn't go well maybe tried some shit out didn't go well but what the fuck man you know to be viewed in pretending you dont know what that's like what is here's what he said in the winter for the most disgusting display of arrogance is tony hinge cliff false sense of fame what's wrong and twenty says what's wrong adi pants and he wrote back tony you told
crowd i taped tv dna so this goes bad fuck you that's funny that's if that's like that it's a joke that's yeah exactly that sounds exactly like outside chintz cliff does this whole act sounds like there was more though sometimes page no there was an eye ass tony's like i don't even really well tony's gotten notoriety right now yos work for the birds doing well there's one thing than either of always noticed whenever a comic would break away from the pack you would always see a lot of guys talking shit about em especially in the early days like the first guys to gets coms and you know and the first guys like you pete i remember how my conversations with people like why do you care account does it affect you this guy's not funny but he's doing really well how many i wish you luck some yea i've always whenever i feel anger towards a comedian i always try to look at myself and say am i angry at them or maghreb myself because i'm not doing what they're doing my angry cause i don't have the sitcom my angry because
is because i'm not defer short as theirs that and you know want for sure that people of different tastes too and a final like something it doesn't mean its regular i like i was in a cardio day in some guy tried to play some ban for me you know and he is playing a loud and like all my god i'm gonna open this door ajar if i'm like this is terrible this music is terrible and he's like they're cool new indie bands from seattle i'm like they need to stop you need to stop right now my dis is nails on a chalkboard but to him this is like some cool shit that he want to play me you know and i look any bravo doesn't like leonard skinner kay play some words guinea for any private as wanna hear landscape in occupied for our fear who's the shittiest he likes law adele re any only listen to one is naked but like his sense of music not into his type but i can play him some words guarantees you can understand it bravo like my best friend doesn't even like large scale
think people more understandable underlining about that with music there not with comedy ryo he's bad people to me as he funding and i go it's not my thing but i'm not gonna save these bad not you're not gonna he's not musical it's like one of the things that comes up when you're developing an act in developing an audience is like when you first go on stage like the first years like first ten plus years of your comedy career most likely the people have no idea you are and so you although you might have your own shit that you would like to talk about you gotta leg get into their head first with fairly neutral or homogenous our confidence building stuff so that then you could take them into deeper water once they already like you say will take a lot longer till i get to it in us so this like there's a benefit like as a comic to that and that benefit is a you're learning how to craft material and you're learning how to pull boy you're learning how to like how to
lose him with controversial stuff in the beginning that would work if you did at fifteen twenty minutes and so like your first bit and i think that lot of times when you see in like new and upcoming comedians when there's a lot of frustration going on is a lot of like rate rejection in this latter like everybody's trying to put it together and get and the habits of the smallest fucking tension yet so when a garlic tony hinge groups doing good fortune arrogant jean valjean bullshitter how long study been around not along another one seven years yeah he's fucking good man i tell you i took that kid indianapolis he was really funny yeah he's he made me laugh at every based on love you destroyed in the earlier this week ad lib and a bunch of shit about the situation camping and have only seen em i cells chronicles i did i did what he sat there and he was doing alarm he did impressions
it has a lot of brody impression up as they were like dead on yeah yeah good like tat always funny kid i was like comics the canoe impressions of other comics that no one like not like this the guy you know he's just frustrated sort of theirs assist that's support and you know what the feel the sting of being recognised for being a kind of a country bitch nowhere when sent my back that's good for your personal you need to know that that type of behaviour is loathsome and then when p reach it like that the lash back at you because he knows i'm going really no one i had it when i when i first started calmly and i was in new york i got a lot of shit to early like way too like a lot of shit i know like lays out ass the walls and tv you you're cute little fellow but i didn't deserve it and free one let me know it all is not well let me know is no does not deserve it you know you get a shot a lottery ticket pops up be grab it there's no deserve it because what are you really what is a shot for is the shot for you do
sitcom because if it is is what anybody can do that it could be a comic that sucks is this comical to be terrible but if you white good wines from an sitcom you could do it was funnier a news radio then i wasn't my real act when i first doing these radio ninety four that was not good of a comedian i don't know i saw you i always say this i saw you i think before i start doing stand up i saw you our silverman and i forget who it was caroline comedy our and it changed comedy for me because you guys were dirty i never saw a dirty on tv it was when i never saw then let you could be dirt and i couldn't believe the shit's era was saying earlier we were saying and i was like oh i think i want to do this now like the fact that this is why would i talk about let me rephrase out i had probably like twenty good minutes of fuck jokes
wasn't a real comic sanely rise united line i can headlines but realistically did i really have an hour not really had no i had an hour but forty minutes of it probably sacked the i had known i have the headline way before i should absolutely we all did i mean i i couldn't capable of doing an hour an hour like a year in what was it a good our now was dark shadows term my third gig ever a guy took me to dance rosenberg he's i still seem around sometimes dan rosenberg i was living in pittsburgh he goes hey you wanna open for me and i said yeah it arrived at doing like open mike spots the funny in pittsburgh is our we're going to oil city were planned this vfw the guy we get there and he goes so you're going to do thirty thirty five and i'll do forty five in our current come along and he goes thirty minutes thirty minutes when i got five my god
that's a horrible to person doesn't understand how terrifying that's a terrible terrible wrote jokes rate their enemies writing them so my point is when someone is given you shit if they were given you shit saying that you know you shouldn't got that so so soon submit but nobody should it with a view of its kind of actually worldwide and also you gotta know i came up to the comedy seller new york right with all the guy from tough crowd in that sense of humour of just shitty non each other's great and then again hair patrice o neill use too i would see patrice walk in the club i saw patrice i would go back out and go down stairs come in the other way because they want to work and we are we just fuckin kill me over the city with old eric is like when he fucks with you it's like an honour its fun it's like people who are not comics will probably never understand that way of interacting with each other i want didn't we
today the roast in new york city that's like kind of where i mean they'd always done roast but the kind of reach invention of the roast happen through you know all those guys geraldo in all those guys in new york and the first one i went to i thought we might have been forbearing cats are fur forget who was for i walk in and rich vocs is hosting a and and i sit down i'm all excited amid the roast and he opens iniguez i'd like to all the comedians and eddy if for being here today and i just fuckin melter i was as shitting myself and then they hit me like for more times during the rose and rich vos would go yeah peleiadeo just got another development deal or his parents just gave him some more money at he was just telling me and then billboard they all funds
mashed me and i remember like i was gonna wait heard so bad you personally i was demoralized and i'm walking out and tony woods grab media twenty woods asher tonnages dog what do you do in why you upset and i go smashed and he goes to the talking about where did you start doing comedy i started in pittsburgh i was therefore about nine months and decided on a want to be in pittsburgh so why we are having a hard time with wig comics roland yorke as i went to new york and you know anybody like that i didn't know one now not really pittsburgh wasn't like that and not here they should be made to boston its boss yet her boss and was ruthless patrice and bill burn them from boston that's that's there's a fuckin drunk fishermen but i like i have that now and you know i developed from them and i do it to people and i forget how sensitive people i mean i just attic i quit my podcast because i was always fuckin with them and
are you like a guy you worked with any but i fuck with everyone and i didn't realize how sensitive people are comics like it i love it now we enjoy ideas will start talking to each other sometimes insulting each other fake insulting each other so fund like what are we doing cocksucker you gonna fuckin piebald class to go to the fact that an essay city unwillingness elsie s money when you got a fucking kill shake up your ass the area walkin around like a flock of almost it out i live when i see the loss i just love to go ahead with its fun it's fun i enjoy it it's fun in a member was listen to open anthony and talking about lucy k and bobby kelly were to origin norton we're talking about comics interact with each other no one can ever understand it jim and have a slice of pizza and louis seek
just slap as a pizza those heritage of like your mother's cod and norton just couldn't help but laughin he couldn't help allow wages we used to do things the seller where if you are if you are looking at anything on paper like it usually the lineup sheet is on the table if you are looking at one of the economy we grab it out your hand and crumpled up and throw it on and so one night tony rock is reading a newspaper article in its review of his show or sighing and i am and steve burn walks in grabs a crumpled up and preserve the hundred tony just punch my size and where was this in the latter and the seller seller i mean there is still much shit like that punched him in the face of rio like really hit em and the gun into a fight now i mean they didn't find out that tony was bad i talked tony's likes first time i've ever written up in the paper you know we ve tony's
a new car much because he can crumpled up and unlike well you know but with there's there's a thing at the comedy seller tabled it says comics only like four there's a table just for the comedians and it was just every night we do it the somebody better gravy sitting there and they grab it and they just put it in front of you mohammed i tabled a beautiful idea it is it's amazing is other with computer get either people do come around but that's what they do they put the little think in front of them say comic only like coal and so they do at the comic sometimes down and we go people have those end like that sounds rude but that's environment required to do good comedy get like you have to offer i'll be aware that if you do some cheese stupid shit they gonna call you want it so you feel that you gonna feel that from those people the roman that that added pressure develop was onstage there one night and you have to get to the bathroom you have to walk passes
your literally one table back the row runs parallel to the stage and i'm doing my act and jim norton walks by me looks at me as far as you to me right now he goes he goes to the bathroom comes back from the bathroom looks at me again agus double it just gets its only fund for comedians man where your people if you did that it work you get sued you'd get sued you lose your gig maybe people fuckin can crack jokes at work you know and there's these people that are annoying about that shit but there's a lot of like funny that gets it cut out of the workplace remember the water belinda comedies georgia and looked slits was not try about that and i have but one in it because if somebody might have done that
somebody might have launched water balloons with a catapult us calmly store and slew them towards the sky bar where there was a bunch of assholes waiting in line all in might have how i might not have anything funny launched like thirty five miles an hour a meaning its use whores is people got him they had in their heads with sonata bag and these are like pairs hilton i was a new respect for everyone's evaluated or that was involved and i was fortunately on the ground level so i thought i heard screaming
thus i found i was going off i heard screaming across the street and then i see this dude get here in the fucking ahead does the polluter film has heads nabs back that so i mean it's a fucking court of water hit the student face it was really kind of fucked up because they had this contravened this allegedly allegedly i don't remember who was on the roof and with some employees that allegedly who could get in trouble now allegedly i don't remember who was so and you know i witness accounts are some of the worst pieces of that i have come across so the reality as i honestly honestly not remember exactly who did it it was some employ but you could like put in my mind it was this guy and i be like okay we had a secret shower than other people involved talked about ethics but there's a lot of people now pretending to be involved because the cops came to the store and they were looking for the people but nobody could figure out what happened i think even looked on the roof the devil the roof now allegedly were not really happened did genius though it was really ruthless but
stand up comedians in a drunken high go and should we forget that off but we didn't know about it literally until it happened you that front area the commission has highlighted our senses agrees to throw crab apples are cars is kids that was our we would take these apples and you would just hit cars is hard you could have a driving down the rats and east coast or snowballs stove in the middle of winter with like snow all over the road we have about snowballs with rocks and i was a big now a lot of kids do you dry by new cargo thank like you mother fucker hit the brakes and and they scattered three different directions we used to set up our escape routes like this work for we're going on behind these trees we be behind these trees we throw the crab apples and we kind of try to work they stopped we kind of show ourselves because we had such an amazing escape route we wanted them to come after us
we run through this guy's backyard and need a creek through his backyard like i'm kind of live near the woods and hit a pipe creek went up pipe that went under the road so there was a fence around his yard and it was like a if you open the fence it closed itself so we just stick it would keep the fence open the door the last guy would kick the stick out to the gate would close if they were chasing you we'd run down into the creek through the pipe and on the other side of the road and just watch him looking for us and we lived for that would have you and cracked her ankle and that guy came there and just fucked your face value out and no other fats quaker xbox cock out of his pants and just fucked your face and your friends there a bunch of policies and i haven't you guys got a giant hard on that has been waiting for some kid to throw a piece of fruit it is cars we could find a cure the punch his teeth out fuck his gaze he just got you
and up against the opening of the tube that cement tube i'm writing this is hardly mouth and you do not know whether you should robbers balls may go quicker lets you i'd be right it should i figure is ass and navies carol com or just nobody have a cousin i fight it without making conquer ida cousin who who said i you know older cousin ted ted smith said to me if you get caught you're on your own that was the deal you're on your own ted gets caught who we with if i saw some kid beat the fuck out of some other guy who through a snowball out his car really some guys through snowballs disguised car in his car boot pump you see the gap lock up hid them these car shots click a throw in the park any just sprinting from the moment he gets out of the car he why there's no hesitation this guy had a fuckin plan and the kid
hesitated for a second was like oh shit like it was the car came out way too just didn't you know you gotta if a guy starts running at you you gotta know when to run and this guy was he was a motherfucker use tough guy obviously it was an athlete to moved really quick took this guy down just smashed his fucking face people scream and stop hating i'm stop any he beat the fuck out of this guy i don't like i've never had it happened me where i get hit by anything driving now i dont know kids still deal with our care they do a lake raising of you leave kids outside and their snow their thrown into cars that's a fact there's no and away from that through a rock inside us nobody had someone's car you kindly deserve to get your i never knew you shouldn't get killed now but mean summum maybe should scared of forgetting smacking they often yeah does allow kids do that man like you thrown crab apples you fuck their levels of debt the shooter because there was this crazy fucking group kids in our neighbourhood did i used to get fucked up crazy kids and they use
the thai gummy too like a rope in a tree wing it across the road in front of my girl get some people die these guys were fucking korea when i was in high school there was this one dude and he was i think he went to the rival high school and he was alive older so say if i was like fifteen he was like maybe eighteen and nineteen or something like that and his parents had a lot of money and folks who grew up in newton will know this story newton masterpieces in the nineteen eighties accused us probably freshmen icicles like nineteen eighty one with this guy had a trans am like a fuckin bert reynolds style time with the eagle on leave any of it any ran over a dude and the guy got trapped under his car any drove with a body under his car for miles he just killed the guy by driving with us
guy owners coffee is imprisoned still i don't know i don't know i don't know if you're still in prison i know he went to jail i mean i know it was a big case it was all over the it was in the front page of the globe yet my big store my high school has been this guy my icicles been on the cover of usa today like three times in my life one it was with our quarterback from our football team sprained his ankle pepper alley and they made a joke about it like a no blurb that he at the pepperrell he couldn't that's not as good as my story now listen to this there was a guy to two guys and i am really i'm pulling out of the one right now i'll tell the one the other one i will tell you all fair and i'll tell you why but you are mother fuker i know i know i know i know i know he'll stories i kind of told it on my pockets a little bit and had to pull out of it needed it because he'll find us all and he's an evil genius the one dude but the other
his name was bob kirby and bob kirby was the guy he a seventh year senior in high school and when he would come school you would hear about it everyone's i corbies here he was the biggest back ass back then remove the seventh year he never gradually never graduated eyes he had come to school it seems come to school once a month but he was the toughest mother fucker ever and one time i saw come down the hall and there was like this gang kids that were the tough kids and he came down and i was just cutting class and he grabbed one of them was just bang in his head whole all three of the time he was probably like night in or something and high water duisburg but but the kitty was beating up was probably the same thing like these earth the digits it's just never they never so he's just be using this kid i get so scared i walk straight your a classroom that's going on and the teacher is like what're you doing what are you doing my classroom and i go
because i was so scared of what was going on in the hallway bring that i just went into a random classroom will this dude cops you it was unknown thing that the cops had when you gotta go pick up up corbett gotta bring a lotta cops cause he's that bad ass well couple years ago i see on the front page of the newspaper him sitting on a plane fbi agents come to his house because he's deal in drugs and his wife blows aware fbi agent with a shotgun and on what happened was cops came in he took the drugs flushed em down the toilet ran out the back door fbi agents says to his wife were coming upstairs she goes don't come up here she got her baby she got a shock and she has don't come up here and the fbi b i we're coming up fbi and he comes around the corner and she's got killed now the argument was gonna be
like she she ended up getting prison the bob corbett didn't so i'm probably dead when i go back to pittsburgh for telling us credit but she the argument was when drug dealers raid like why you told the story of your and my time this morning it was i was all over the newspaper i mean it's a known snore still you still think should new tone not joking better but so she shot gonna come shock on the cop at the argument is and if you know from craig glacier from sand verdi's on twenty arrayed drug dealer that was how he made his money would tell drug dealers that he was a cop and then take that is true you never know overthrew the fbi right so that was her defence rights that these could have been drug dealers come to suddenly money may see over carrying your shall yet she's right in a lot of ways you now get but why would they looking for him
she's a cell and dry ass so she must have probably known that right that they should probably was probably thought someone he had a lot of prior that is it that is a good excuse though that you could not another drug deal was stealing your money and you know can come and have a woman with a child is a very fuckin primal thing in other defend their territory some guy you may or may not be an early age has come upstairs and how long she go to jail for that i don't know i think she still since i think she still in with this guy who was the rival guy i'm on the from the rival high school was like the cool guy because his parents really really wealthy so he had a car that was we were all envious of like if we had a nice car back then it was inaugurated car he had like a nice new cars but mind boggling the sky at nineteen eighty trans am already drove over somebody he dragged this guy for i think it was something like seven miles and it was media streak first i have in mind the need to go a stuck under is you know it's a car in the
it's a low cards is trans am and the guy got stuck under and dragged for like seven miles i dragged a hooker once for about i take like five feet in a car she was she hanging on already tried to put her arm in my window to unlock my door lignite put down the window little bit it was like a crack or end of coming from a gig and i will admit i had had a little bit to drink and i was eating when talking shop at a bag wendy's on my not wasn't an m am i have a beggar wendy's on my lap i'm eating and it's like three in the morning and that this the hooker flags me down and i thought was an emergency type thing the wage whereas like wavy cited what's going on and she goes its so called it's so cold and i went what and i will put the window down to crack to find out what was going on his silk its so called and i go and i'm like all this is weird she goes
let me in your car let me in your car and i'm like not letting this chick in my car and she goes come on a blow job and home and i'll do it cheap and then it like all occurs me i'm like oh hooker and by the time i'm about to like put up the window she putting her arm in trying to unlock the door and so i just hit the gas till i get furthermore and this is all a split second so my reaction is factors getting it like an hour drive an idea see her just get dragged and then and and my head i was that do i thought i drove over her and there i am in the mid the ghetto in pittsburgh and we have taken a short cut through no one's gonna believe me there are i would just like to kill hookers my question did you finish your sandwich you know what think i did because what happened was a disaster and i don't know i stopped i look in every mere she's
working on the ground and unlike fuck our goal and i had to make this vision where i'm like do i fuckin leave or not and i think we talked about this on the skies us i fucking do i drove i i sat there and she stood up and finally and dust yourself often gave me the finger and then i got her finger and i drove away while you gave it the finger of the almost killed her you happy that she was alive so i was like that's the end of my life was your compassion though no one will know you're asking him if you got on with light and you could have been a murderer you weren't you should have been like that wouldn't been i mean i would under jail for murder but i don't know about that but i did i do not think you out of here because you kind of attacked you in some way no one yet i will leave that they would believe if you told the story exactly the way you did it you had a when these bag in euro jack in the box would have fucker was when was it wendy when these near lap means that all makes sense you didn't know as the spot where hookers are we from the town yet
yeah but it was like i you don't i rove through that area and it was a short cut but most we would be like where you come from we're going it wouldn't have been like while i would you go that way there is a lot of car shit that went down when i was a kid that i remember tat was like a real lesson like others a kid that i knew that from my town that killed his best friend drunk driving accident by tom we relax seniors he would drove drunk and smash into a tree and kill his friend and there was that guy who drove over the guy there was like those quite a few of those situations or someone died what people died young that it its cars its drugs are there was motorcycles another one guy that we went to high school with was changing his tyre changes tireless either road and some smash and his car and kill them sums wasn't pay attention who does like those we're like three giant lessons that i was very fortunate that i didn't have to get on my own i don't drive drunk don't standing beside the road change attire you know and you know it
but be careful i'm not proud of it but i used to drive drunk a lot as a kid i was bad i was really and i don't i don't ever do it now and never fucking do it like unto afraid as its avoidable yeah but it's really kind of crazy if you start think about the fat in the same drug stores and they have liquor and then his paws natalie and then the supermarkets may have liquor if mary on i was as readily available as alcohol he'll be fucking bananas because literally if you go down inventor boulevard unlike studio city every twenty feet you can buy alcohol like a series of bars and restaurants every twenty feet you can give i'm amazed that i'm still alive one time i was at a bachelor party and we left and we had to get we were on at lake george in new york and we had to get back to the house where we were all staying and there's like one bar in this town and all these guys pounding his minivan and we were supposed to have to like fans for all the guys but one of the
had to leave to take her to the hospital from the bar and we were leaving and this australian buddy of mine that was their jumps on the roof of the car and i think it's funny i jump on the roof of the car to while you drive no this is in the in the parking lot and then there's like a whole bunch guys in the van and it was really crowded so here get on the roof and i went to me to just fucking around and the guy driving good random on starling fuckin took and we're on the roof holding onto like the rain gutters and he dropped seven miles back thing driving fucking fast and i'm trying to punch like the window with my hand like open slap it going to slow the fact like you're gonna kill like in my head i am dying because every turn we went around i had two like redistribute my weight on the roof car or i was flying off and in my head on this is it this is how i die for sure
no you were saying stop using stop dreaming start and look what happened to him there's a van fully guys all scraping faster like thinking you know everybody shit faced finally and thought it was hysterical and then when we start when we stopped at the house i was really angry like he did legged donor the parking lot we finally fell off and the my one friend of all my friends only one friends enemies i say us practically i crying in there i thought you were killing two people and it could have hands like is like everyone but i look at the australian guy next to me and i go we're gonna and die and he might we need a cocktail up here like he was just loving it and i'm like we're gonna fuck and die for sure if you follow cargo in any manner miles an hour twenty miles is rather go daddy five species and their dead as fuck yeah i don't know
that it adders where that that football player the young was his name forget something henry eating died from what's it chris henry i for fell off the back of a truck his wife was trying to get away from him oh yeah fell and practices but why was embarrassed outcomes i kept thinking to myself this nominate die and this is my parents are going to have to like just such a whore like yard douche bag son was on the rule of a car and i was probably like thirty two at the time if i was sixteen it be one thing i saw your way younger to defuse the timeline others just a few years ago cheese yet rice what the fuck man
i would lose out if you don't like the ghost riding whip job because we're dead was terrified goby real careful by war contracts to hang out with this is the drugs that try to top one up each other and trotted out drunk what is right in the whip that that stupid thing that those kids do where they laid out in the gather car and dance and stuff while their cars like still driving down the street i'll come on it's god ghostwriting the with you ve never seen that's no up here really the fog austria is one way fuck it up yeah com i gotta see this in a long time to get on top of the cars and have you dance next to the car i was goes right me i know why have you done it have actually oh oh he found the other guys skirt the guy camp but yeah rendering ran right into the job yeah that's will die right you're filming the most
whereas video ever in your fat friend falls off the fuckin heard of the car as rolling towards you would know breaks on a complete now only one of the jackass guys is died and oh no oh grandma i went oh my god look affairs is goin guys running towards you exit they're not going fast now its use is also fuckin stupid that's a good spot for those going to some phobia this area out and palmdale where we used to do all the fear factor stunts because we close off this job stretch a road and we like set semis up on an people beyond the seminars to jump from truck to track it shit like that but we would oh jesus crow he's fast at all it is jumping over that they let her do you write in step with us you see anybody really fucked up in fear factor no no not really
the worst accident i ever saw was like a do jump from one boat to another and like smash his face at it like wipe out i mean and hit hard the boom in whence it look back yet when i was waiting shoulder unlike how do they not fuck them said how did they not of a concussion jackasses way scary of and fear for actor some of that shit those guys it like when johnny knoxville was a fuckin already a movie star puts a blindfold on stands in front of a ball and the bulls the flying through the air was blindfolded those guys were crazy will deliver what nature circus now nightrobe circus is jackass with talent i can wants that shit on it i find it so impressive these guys are like train stopped there like they took like the best motor cross razor the best the best be an extra the best
gay border the best everybody that's the best what they do and they do stunts and they beat the serbs are there now they motioning to dance and these areas like the old jump out of an airplane without a parachute why look up to another guy with a parachute ankara but they do these things that unlike how are they not ed that southern there more taking risks where's jackass cars are hurting you they're hurting you just a different seen because you're talkin about guys like jackass guys papilla profess on amended shot but the risks are taken the jack s guys produce johnny knoxville produces night research if you watch it and johnny does stuff any that's where you hurt himself when he fucked up his dick yank he had like p i dont know if he still does but i think it's too like peed in a catheter something because i he
what they taught him out a back slip a motorcycle johnny right at me the rope is there a handlebar went straight long oh jesus son brutal oh my goodness but yet they have this guy street like tommy who is one of the one of the nature circus guess he's kind of their fat guy that they make fun of i've tried him the pod cast unease he's gonna coming out for you i'll do it but here to day he d he instagram picture you just cut his finger off hides the grossest picture but he they make him do all these things and he's not talented like they are and so whenever there's like something that there the slip in bad guys have you ever seen their raising i told you i don't want that shit and i want to watch idiots doing stupid shit and they're gonna get him her it's phenomenal to you i don't like that stuff
get it you know but i dont like i wanna watch guys run into walls and break their face no no but i mean when they're doing stuff like this and is worthy of its remit that stance are phenomenal from short phenomenal i'm sure luck there will i travel do you know travis astronomers around the name travis is the motor crossway or we are directly raised in a few years about the guy's broken like every bone in his book i went to a thing was a thing for him a birthday nosing a benefit slash birthday thing event a faint something about the right that the thing with the drawled oh and urge barker were there not cassim arose in the non frahm tv now was now men might be different gotta go ahead but he eat now races rally racing because is he's just fucked himself so much so he has to drive cars now broken everything tomatoes and everything is a great
humanity all ninety nine lives they he's gonna loves and it talks about his lack of fear like his his mental capacity and how he doesn't like we all have fear and he doesn't have it and i really mean doesn't have he just doesn't have it lies are real yeah something had antipathy to it that those got light green color missing piece up that sounds like a really dumping yeah but easy you know he's he's accomplished alone the planet is a video of johnny knoxville breaking his urethra anybody want i wanted i would have us browser either matt happens tribute to evil can what's the matter on five minutes and a break my own rules by even you're mad hoffman is a guy that is used to be a measure that he's hurt himself so many times that they wouldn't do surgery on his knee this special surgery but they had it in canada and they didn't have it in the united states we went canada
the doktor could do in canada but by law he couldn't do it unless he was awake he couldn't put a monday for it and they had to bring whatever the it was like an anti recruiting ligament or something and it was it was made of i forget what they use not attain it was whatever they used to make it something like a polypropylene or like a girdle why or text whatever it was he had to ship it to canada it was like a legal way they were not to use it so he put it like he ought to be an ex company put it like a bike box and senate and then the doktor did it and he talks about it he helped the doctor do the operation cuz there was like the doctor's like saw this part i put it in and he stayed awake and let the doctor put this thing in these guys
slow my iron nato operation that other stayed awake he stayed awake yeah but one and i want to see it was the first one so they should be an epidemic yeah they giving epidural knock knock your so from the waist down i couldn't feelings any ideological wanted to watch one to see it and i was scared eagle under i dont like going under go under i'll go and under to me was like and knocked out yet like i didn't i didn't want to happen i did at once for an i broke my ankle and they they put me under and then when they went to take the plate the screws out i said that and i'm not gonna fuckin undertake see what whenever the area under certain things they won't do within epidural but there's the second need aberration i got pennant put me under i made it clear that he had to help the doktor i wouldn't but i was drugged up to that
ilsa i don't think he was right yeah hardly help the dark toward your hold the idea hit that with a hammer when i say go i think i saw the interview with the money was gonna fuckin robot doktor voodoo doktor was he going to the due rendered me the scooter this week had esophagus cancer had his whole esophagus removed an ape they moved his esophagus like around the side and back because he had acid reflux so bad ass affable cancer they did a procedure on him that had never been done before they put into a coma to do the procedure because when your when you're under you still swallow he still have swallowing reflect its no happen but when you're in a coma swallow so they had approached him and a common i got what was it like and he goes well he got when you come out against but two days later he is but i couldn't say may be seas for butter
followed it saved his life the guy's live mile think about that chile smoke cigarettes brian prancing since never gonna happen will is gonna be that god it's gonna be fine smoking a packet dave the rest was fucking life waiting to you of the of the second fake cigarette it's a servant i'm inside acts of god and also because you love stephen dwarf but the stated this is actually watermelon flavoured it i've never you dont know now i need to turn you want the dubious commercial in history the universe is a commercial so duty you have to say that is a subtle parity you have to think of some was like some while someone a hate stephen dwarf and they talked him in doing this like listen easily your maniac we're talking in doing this fuckin commercials i just know ways can do this commercial i'm telling you i can talk this motherfucker stephen wants you to write this one's been your voice
wants you to sell these cigarettes you got it you gotta see this i'm tired of being a walking astrid negative too i'm tired of feeling guilty everytime i want a light up even door i've been a smoker for twenty and i just found smarter alter blue is blue lets me enjoy smoking without affecting people around because its greatest winkler that show you this is my favorite part the deep means no deep slow mo walk on the beach they can you get smoking a basketball game if you want to and how about not having to go outside every ten minutes when you're in a bar with friends the point is you can smoke blue virtually any we're all adults you time we take our freedom
come on guys rise from the ashes take your freedom back yet this voting alone alone around the long slow draw the end that now do you have love is a douche year when the new year your show every seen the brad pitt one hope is it like a jack these want anything haven't you ever seen the brad pitt chanel number five commercial i don't think so sweet jesus you must see the wait wait there's a new one way we should watch this new thing that it is an idle brad pitch phenomenon and others a new commercial really need money a new commercial what that's what on what courtney what is it courtney love have you seen it's kind of like the same idea as what we just watch but with courtney love now hit it enjoy presents its another company is according love
no no no it's been a while it's frances ok so we're watching for folks listening at home we're watching some woman elegantly dressed old lady she has us a lot of jewelry on and she is walking up to courtney love looks better than usual you know smokin hair relax it's how enjoy way better ensure there is way better and job sort of action i use the word fucking do yeah but it's over it's me i guess it's better by the means like you want to be the count that's most those cigarettes nice like that better than a writer cigarette its is i guess it's more rock n roll than the other commercial its
what do you want the brad pitt one on your own bacilli things even do shootings even door from russia brad pitt one little turn your stomach oh you're billion dollars does it make well i guess i got pay that crazy millionaires majesty maybe my babies build a hutton taiwan i thought i saw seinfeld do in a corporate once and i was like how much money do they have to pay seinfeld dual core allow those guys love that shit you know j leno makes a huge amount of money elena stuff that's like his gig that's like a big joke that leno corporate it isn't a joke no you know that every comic apparently like when you sit on the couch and talk to me get so he'd do incorporates guess how much because he does a lot of love them get somebody got pay for my who got paid ride pick up paid to do that and we cannot let me guess lemme guess again how much would then guess eleven million eleven million will use it four million at actually seven
because i know seven million dollars to sell your soul so bad it's it's so stupid ok you got it it now play it would you do it for seven million you wouldn't do over seven million dollars now because i don't need seven million you know if i was broke in and i did before did fear factor before did news radio you said that you want to do this really do chanel number five commercial pay seven liability vice horrible commercials with a goddess this this commercial though is so it's it's so ridiculous like as a comedian you have such a hard time doing this commercial it's really hard to do after insufficient but what real players why it is so preposterous you watch me go come on brad what is going to join every journey ends but we go on twelve turns and return with plans disappear
but look at looking ethical luke looking you're not really doing his bread you looking you not this is not really you're acting you fuck my fate three main my fortune former signals hilda inevitable now come on does disgusting but so bad i mean should i might do have one with was that one of those things where he just goes all you we were to get that house up at the skiers let's yes how do i dont understand i mean i i guess i guess look these involve a lot of charitable venture so whom i to judge and gather he does with as my rights he might do something really amazing there there's a banking commercial and i forget what the bank is it's one of those like trading things in march when i hear the voices good voices i go ass matt damon needs doing a banking commercial and he soon avoids why does matt damon have to do fucking voice over she's got enough money
so i do what look it up apparently he donated all the money to charity and so because ever and i read there is hope obviously of matt damon harry the guy who who we are with the voice over in inside job wrote about the banks were unease always he was very liberal and he's been very critical of the banks and here he is doing a fuckin commercial for the banks so i guess it was one of these things where he just said you know what i'd do it will you take all that money and i'd like to see the charity gave it too i hope it's something like a lobby hence the bank's yeah would be a smart thing to do you send money against them but it still still weird you now i would have preferred to have sex with brad pay for seven nine hours it will cost more than that brad would have been proud of you like and what do i get well what if he's just was under a fetish thing for him could be
harry this i'm sure there's a lot of people like willing to do that so the million bucks hey i'm not letting the offer up there i now will you frightened for twenty five ran a twenty four hour grandson cope who knows what she let fucker ass you know probably a lot of craziness gonna last spit in people's mouse will live talked about you and you know you're webcams you you lead me under that what to collaborate came saw my free camps this girl go on there can say what country they want to be shown it right so basically agree can just check off just want to be seen in the united states canada austria any english speaking place where she might possibly know someone but let the rest of the world just jerk off to her neck ever gonna see one of those people ever again and it's like i think there's oh many girls on there that we don't know about laughs at earls you know i never see my guy friends that don't have money always have to pick up like second and third job
my girlfriends that don't have money it's just life's easy and talk and they also there just responsible what i like to watch where are you getting money and i'm convinced there on my free hand like latvia and estonia and brought it i'm a blame all fuckin stack another bitcoins like mother fucker tokens stagger abdel bitcoin son do you think that bitcoin things work like it's worth it would i think be interesting as it would be interesting if there is an alternative currency that a bunch people agree to that stable you now if you get if you could find a way to circumvent the financial system that would be a way to defeat it did defined on that we all agreed on that everybody got together and said you know what fuck all this craziness riot let's wits what our resources into this other thank the problem that's when you find out how corrupt system really is and that's when because they would never let you establish an alternative said occurrence in right i think you'd end up dead most likely they would do
urgent heartily i mean the amount of money that would be lost if there was a valid alternative to the dollar or the rouble or that whatever the fuck you're using if there was some nationwide or global currency that we all agreed to that was established and was like release bush strong though fact everything man all this global power grab would be in the toilet in third world countries would not like when everybody has the same value on their dollar yeah on the dollars the same value which i it i've looked into this and thought about it and and it's really confusing but and i dont know enough about currencies in and what would and like with the value of because you can trade internationally then and no one is able to monitor it and there's no amber goes on there wouldn't it wouldn't be ever be taxed de i don't know it's it's it's interesting it's very would eventually have to get taxed somehow
yeah you would have to pay for things you know it's really becomes a matter of government for better you can use it now the real problems and stuff bureau creasy gets a point where you start creating and are necessary and then you say we created x amount of jobs is quarter that's like people love to do shit like that times those jobs are really good and sometimes those jobs or government jobs and would government jobs get established at the very rarely they get remove tina mean they might slash things are theirs funding but if there's money they would like to keep jobs going in create new jobs and government create new laws the new jobs are in place like that's one of the big arguments and not making part legal because you would lose a lot of people there in the business of locking people up for pot and arresting pot dealers and then all of a sudden the pharmaceutical companies can lose money where they gonna people go as well like what how does that work it's it's weird financial situation where the the the the resources
impact of you the control the resource shifts and that's that it's like a financial decision and that's what the real problems with making anything that sat popular legal while quality illegal it's like financially it creates a real issue will i also saw that a lot of the reason the pot hasn't become legal yet is because the regulation is in place yet they haven't been able to create the bureaucracy round it ran a lot of times they ve done things like if you look around the world the lack of regulation has created a king but you look at what happened the soviet union when when it dismantled yeah they sold off the gas companies the electric companies in the russian mafia just became like billionaire overnight people are able the electric company or by
you know i think there is a lot more to the collapse of some one i know but i'm what i'm saying is there to different currencies an inch in russia attired soviet union that two different one two different currencies in and they were using one to buy up the other one leg people were smart enough to say let by all this currency i read this book called rogue economics about what happens with lack of regulation and they were then when i read about pot being legal it was like if it gets legalised what happens corporations might be able to come in and push out all the growers push out all the you know the the farmers are they would have whatever give illegal if it does get how will they be able to use a sack has led us growers are established because let's say let's say the grocer establish below hey big corporations come in and get involved like like the tobacco corporations
if they with all their money by up all the pot you know the pot fields every thing like that there is no way of actually like it it would be like opening the floodgates right away and it's like what's gonna happen will i don't understand what you're saying why why would stop the people who already growing global out when we had that proposition of vote to make pot legal i was trying to read i'm not even a big pots market but as they come out we are finally lies a ship is ridiculous and so what i did i will go back to the weather random vote was like let's let led to vote to make it legal and then i started reading in a lot of the like local venice newspapers and step in they are saying that lot of people in humble mendocino county and all that that they were growers and stuff were against it because they were worried that they would get pushed out that's not true the reason why they are against it is because he can make a lot more money when it's illegal that's why they're against it
another argument a little will arrive not without a lot of those people were also against medical they like to keep it illegal because when its illegals worth a lot more money and it's hard to find people who sell it to find people that are eager you could buy from and so they can try the market well but in that situation pot is legal there's gotta be more money spent a mere one if it is not just gonna make were competition for them that's already exiles and why the growers don't wanna is because a bunch of other people against our growing and then the prices are gonna go but who who would ultimately make the money on marijuana wouldn't it be corporations the real issue the real issue that's an undisguised is something like monsanto coming along and owning strains of wanna and eliminating the other strains that is a distinct possibility of you see what they ve to who the fuck would have ever thought they build do what they ve done with corn who the fuck would available to believe that they would be
owing to that politicians would be willing to accept what the fuck they're getting paid on how the fuck their passing these laws like the monsanto protection act always different laws and allow genetically modified food to be in your supermarkets without labels because it is not we establish whether or not there on a recent safe i know some of them are safe if you if you ever question that and how then hearns read the book i learnt lessons book called republic lost and he explains how all that government subsidies that should happens in its day they target its the same way that development cooperation either but they target like a lobby group or a special interest group or pack will date it's not even that they have the resources to two just spend so much money what they do is
will the it's almost like mafia technic like they'll go to a congressmen and say hey you're running and this guy your anti guns he's programmes we're gonna give all our money to him and we're just gonna so it's just the threat is not were spending money against you it's the threat of we're gonna spend money against you the politicians and fold and say well they go with where the money is mean doubts riding in the ninety seven percent of the time or something i kennedy with the most money the i'm sure no one makes sense mean you have to have legal wildly it popular platform for you to be accepted and you don't have as much money to be or you have to compete the real jackass it's it's it's a bought system no and suddenly bitcoin are some alternative currency and a lot of people poohpooh it maybe bitcoins not the one but little folks are bitcoin come in i never heard anything about until a couple years ago and now this you know your hearing about like legitimate new sources like well what's goin on coincidentally crashes through the second floor
the value drops and is all sorts of thuggery involved with it so i did that the various bitcoin went through some but also people probably trying to profit or trying to capitalize on a stone that's not completely secure i don't understand finances that much to eighty four that surely i got the ep and the end just wanted to play with the vigour going yeah i just want to see what was going on i get it yeah by eight i have you done goober yet sure is about awesome the guy who is selling a house in canada with bitcoin really i want to acquire a lotta bitcoins and had a piece probably that it was news and it was like a house lake or on a river a rural like vacation house so three hundred grams we sell it on bitcoin wants three hundred thousand bitcoins or whatever the fuck an equivalent is with you look i mean it's going on i'm like games like i don't play ball at world one graph yeah that's enough those people made all self park episode about it no back like where they have too little kids
yeah working plain the video games that they can acquire these coins are whatever it was whatever the value and the game has that happens and video games time where people try to acquire these what's a legit service like behold will pay people in foreign countries third rail company countries will will play games all night with your character like you give them your character for two months and come back your characters like master wizard is easier like fuckin total super nerd games it's not like you're playing checkers or chasse or are even you know i used it in my friends on madden when they would leave we all live together down at the beach they would leave i would play as their team and dissolute hurt their place that's funny yeah that's funny but the this well santa shows that ever watch was documentary on this family that was addicted to world of warcraft model games as well the warcraft but it was a family some husband and wife and kid and the wife widows get by
when she had to take care of the baby cuz the husband can play the game and she was like complaining she got to fucking newborn she doesn't want it but she wants to get back to her character in the game and it was it was really depressing because a you imagine if you you're essentially being born into a house robed attics their attics without heroin its world of warcraft mean they are addicted to this there completely totally focused that's why i hate when people go drugs and alcohol ruin their life it's like the drugs and alcohol didn't they did those people would have found something like fuckin world of warcraft it if it wasn't treasure it would have been something like i agree with you but i don't agree with you because i no people that literally whatever it is they got the bad jean they cannot drink they have won in their got your sober and they need to be sober i know people that have chemical issue no one i know a few i didn't think they existed until i was in my leg late twenties canals like ok i think i'm misreading this
because i was like a bunch weak bitches i got is dumb approach to people couldn't quit drugs it usually those people i've seen them be fucked up with other things too sure yeah but those people they might have a psychological issue as well as this compulsory the issue as well as like a chemical problem like there's a criminal of things that can happen yet some people it's also like al gore alcoholism is a weird thing where it starts off where they can handle it and then somewhere along the line their body just loses its ability to tolerate alcohol and if they keep drinking keep abusing their body it's one shot and their danville i've seen people like that think we totally understand you know like how another person is feeling when they take i've you know i think there are some people out there that can that can get hammered and they just fine apart from my friend my friend laura she just takes one hit and she
marijuana and she her body like short circuits and like i think if we talk about once where she just stood up and ran toward the bath tub and just flew like trip over the battlements flew in that almost chief everything whenever teeth our and she had no idea why she did that it was decipher body just reacted crazy a friend of mine from view factor we roundly york filming and other crew and we passed a joy around and she took one hat and just blacked out and someone cotter somehow catcher in the middle of street near she like she almost fell shambles fell down and cracked her head off the concrete like she just when unconscious can't everybody else just taken a pull over nobody else is fine for whatever reason it hits her and her biogas that's why you know i've talked about her merely i've talked with your million times about it my just its i've had good experiences but i've had a couple that were just fucking atrocious i added the anxiety level in the paranoia the fucking in alike i thought i was gonna do
that of an airplane one sitting for everybody that's fact this'll nothing's everybody some you you know you ve been drinking coffee anymore right now as it was all kinds of that the image that was getting so fuckin growers it is would i know savage you fighting with fucking people your own now that you know what that violent people you're never may find that chick when that chick i want to justify that because when i got any argument with her i never once said your bitch you're caught i never raised my voice all i did was say while your eyes like i'm talking you i won't while you're you're a horrible person and just just the way she was acting to me it was like you shouldn't get away with it i got him that's how is talking and i never once said she the next day they said oh you said she be raped in you said i said no i said i hope she gets hit by a car on the way i see it you didn't just say she's harbour person none at all i know but i learned about adding the higher notably said some things to me that i said that then but
why said here you know she was no one i don't give a fuck about the story about that she should be to come you know i mean no one is no i just i wanted justified that i forgot to stop it's no big deal i know you're sayin you not on coke but caffeine is too much for personnel and i'm not ass if you're not aggressive but if someone's adieu she teat person to you you don't walk away from right that's that's what a lot of a lot of times like what's an old expression if you're in argument with idiot it's very difficult so who's who think that probably fucked up that in paraphrasing it but that is a situation where if you're a situation where someone's aggressive junior aggressive back to them and then someone walked in on it looks like you're always employees yeah and could be got it just defend yourself all the time but looks like you're always finds yeah
we have actually does youtube clips whether smugglers a fire and yeah i mean i've always felt like i've never been one to start shit with people i don't like starting she would people but also not really enjoy people like getting off on me and likes should he things to me just because they want did they want to be country so that when you underground or when you're a grow back or its back becomes the same thing you just they started it but you're doing it you know you're both involved in it and it's really stupid but it takes a long time to realise it is really stay right right and you know what i did the first thing i did when these guys came africa's cops and then i had no cops and i was like right i got it you know what those guys were worked until they weren't you fucked up edward just on the swedes pussy i wouldn't they were pretty fucked up thinks only i think they re other work and i think it with one of them well i bet it is in love with a girl man that so called it's ok we're yet one pretty girl just dominates like a business establishment that's a sad
thing when you go to visit a body at work and he realized this is one hot check the sort of like partner spray around the room and all these told that your body works the tripping over themselves trying to please pleases girl and white nightingale return and you know i think you're just not aligned with the way talk around women you suckers and like you son of a bitch look what you're doing here you're throwing tough on the sword sad i assure you well that's what i said when the guy when he finally calm down i said that he said you ve got a girl in their crying right now and i said hold on i said i explained what happened to him any kind of looked at me like this the different story than she talk are always and i will take that wants to get you to fight someone for to get but that can't can't concept and you couldn't get me to do that any girl again he said i believe you're gonna have to deal with
you're so well there's a lot of guys out there can be pussy tarred confusing as fuck of you dude out there okay and yet unattractive gone you workin out a fuckin kitchen in a bar you know you burgers known want to fuck you are this is the fact and you know that no one to fucking that she gets depressing and you will not play the long game and friend allow really country checks hoping that when their forty and i'll follow for them to go to go who actually really loved them once they get over this staying or whatever and so there are a lot of poor saps out there they get sucked into which essentially a deal with a drug dealer that never gives you the drugs it's like man i got that cocaine but dog i can't give you none of you i love you i love you i love you i just want to live
cocaine dog i don't know vulnerable now i just feel like maybe we only want me for my cocaine and i would like us just be friends you can't you just understand how this cocaine and our i want to keep it priority gave billy cocaine i was very vulnerable i want to make that mistake again and now mean billy don't talk and i want that happened between us because we're good friends i can't give you this cocaine so these poor pussy junkies follow her around for you you do in another show over their budgets its act are you doing this for years and years and drastic shelly terrify people in parking lot it sites stop that sex is like such a priority that right why are we little male body prostitution was legal ironing and we take such an edge off if we have a fuck up attitude about prostitution which i don't want anybody i notably across to mean either and i don't want to i dont partaken it's not my thing but there's
lotta guys that i friends of mine that unlike let me take you to whole i go as i also don't want any friend of mine to be a janitor have clean toilets that job sucks too which ones better environment if you like really open minded with sex and there's a screening process in the guise of come through a polite i really don't know which one is worse clean toilets or lending i put a condom on hulu on top eu i don't know i don't know mean it's really a cultural decision it's a personal decision but i think you should be able to make that decision then i wouldn't want anybody that i'm friends with deciding to be a coroner wouldn't i wouldn't want you to do that but if you want do that i think it should be a choice wondered integrity of that sort increase this man you were gonna bodies all dash is trying to do is funeral director use the bartender this comedy club in here yeah yeah i used to be funeral director up north in boston
like why how how are you able to fuckin do that every day just yeah what about guys who get caught fucking the corpse the problem that often about and you know it gunjay buddy of mine badgering a body my back in boston him in his brother walked in on this guy who had just gotten don fucking one on the corpses he is almost positive he's there was a dead naked girl on the counter and this guy was hoffman and puffin and sweating and he was back there with his dead naked girl they they heard something funny and they not they were they were there because someone in their family had died and they had to go to the funeral arrangements and the hebrew leaves they just about stumbled upon a guy who in fact a dead female corpse his parts of the brain you ve gotta know mrs only really conservative daily some dark hall of the internet where you ve seen the
people are you could find em down but i mean early would mean the spillage videos you guys fuckin dead bodies is a video there i put on line is him and his boy friend and he killed his boyfriend and then he like fucked him and cut him up and all online ate some of his body what do you do russia gunjay as an act that where you taiko a person been buried recently and you too you ma from the ground and you like for your lips around their vagina and you have somebody else like job up and down on their stomach way to it the first person to ejaculate miss places lips over the dead person sexual parts while his fellow competitors jump on the stomach this has just made off that's made up of helen made up so stupid judging you make i have a feeling that the iron curtain
a tiny about why yes it is real if you decides real yoshi now me i wish you would know about what is you know what's cleveland steamer you know what hurry sanchez you know what it is as though it's real once you invented it's like a drink it's like a book mary we get it right we tried to any more of those up on their end but i think no one urban dictionary and it was it was already there i don't know it was something like we were trying to make the the amish butter turner or something and we retain like you take a dildo in you you he come all over it then fuck the girl with the outcome of the dildo and then are you fucker in your ass well she's up down like a butter turn or something and i swear to god we like putting on there's something like very simple i'm sure it's probably every depraved sexual act edwards pipe and lay boulders tee shirts for sale as a team behind it
i made i made his ex move when i was in college and asia called the damn pablo go there was a girl i fuck that down paulos where you would take them or be on her stomach and you'd like lay down so your kind of like but too but but you pick your dick in her between your legs signalling pushing it like that and then you fall down on top of our new using her legs last close half seconds grown and warrior but it hit the g spot like crazy and she would just that's all she wanted after she wanted a diet pablo didn't i tried it somebody else intellect foot that what the hell you doing get on top of me haven't you ever since some girl w practicing shit or have done this one a bunch times try this late hour five they weren't wait what are you doing down you silly fuck brine foxes say way does podcast rubs within which hold out no open your mouth put and no further before
girl that we know of down in australia said she she told my friend it she woke up one night chief hooked up with this did she wakes up he standing over jerking off woe and he's got his toe inner pussy oh my god how rude tech has an answer is out there walkin around but to catch him in the florence stuff on it right up some chicks pussy initiative very lease halves like some alcohol wipes and really do a good job of clean your toe off for his shovel and some tricks clam that's just rude because it
you know what i've always wondered what i've always wanted to try have you seen that's pills at their salary at sea vs and refer taught kids where they're like these little pills any put him in a glass of water and they make this humongous like dinosaurs something always wanted put in one of his girls vagina since you haven't yet how like it they have called they die you ve ever thing called toxic sharpshooters our economic no i mean really see what i'm saying that up their pussy when they find things that are stuffed in their policy and they there been up there for while it sometimes they get really sick i girls like the peak girls have done but under the nose dug up their posts i mean like if you're gonna nerve their posts like you don't keep it in there for it like you'd like me to have to think of it in there i think i'm like would blow up really big neglect without but there's like a fuckin muppet command my vagina zeitung practice this in a lab before you stick i try i just heard a story about a guy you fucking girl and fell like well you fuck you're going down i recently found a condom was inner plus my jesus
the girl and i was dating where she had her tampon i had broken off like in the middle and she pulled part of it out but privately stuffed in opposite and i worked but my finger and am i put the fog is and i pulled it how do you have attained peas taboo pussy she was so embarrassed it was so so embarrassing she was like almost in tee years i was like system mistake i know you tap i didn't understand like being a guy you don't understand thirdly how could that other guy i know that you have tampons you tell me when you're in your period i understand why this should be an issue but like this huge like embarrassment like i don't worry that the girls girls this girl data that like we were drunk and i fuck one was low baby micro tampons into her and she didn't know about and then like couple days later she was getting kind of sick in it some air pussy just smell it was like a balloon part now i dig it out i dig it
oh yeah i did he would have to yeah yeah you know when you're like young in yourselves horny it's like i come only peer we shouldn't i know you rather than the outside your language of additives in their www any little thing you can do it can fish that string out started in there like a fuckin musket it's like you act around there then he had of late colleagues i hope i've been there put our man finance from the outside and you hear those words come into your mouth left my really that retorted that i just said that robin on the outside we ve always also everyone i've done i'll say that really let me just let me just put it in for a second she of you if you like it you can stay re right
we can take it out let's sleep with an inside just to see what would you like my name if you want to move that's why the most disappointing things went grocers ok like oh she's just fuckin stupid as you're supposed to be the one who sensible here is postponed this predicament it took me a long time to realise that if you just go when you're trying to hook up with a girl and you go fine i don't wanna when you go to sleep all of a sudden they wake you up daily climate fuck yeah i found that they too are means game sucks no no no no no care be out forever i was the one on these girls legally vigorously no no no forever i was the guy i would try every i would keep them up for eight hours until they finally live in like listen why don't we do there is unable to try this than we would ask them with word now i mean just you know well you're full internet so then i found out that if you just if you if you kind of to what they do and you kind of play hard had they go was scary
acting me and then all of a sudden alec let's fuck any after working long game on these check i just how i would take before he figured that out i took it here's my why here's my advice to you my friend just fuck girls you actually want to fuck you when they don t like that's cool justice greeted nobly framework we all entropy already here we ve all been in there it's good to see you over there are over here because there's some girl don't get married i get one for the rest of my life beautiful there's some gas would like you idiot go on finding that found outlying it's like defining their audience colony you don't want to do like brown saga about doing some shows us weakens bunch all people in the audience and now there's this uncomfortable
i was not your audience it's awful terrible awful define your audience it is one of those people who didn't live with the internet once they die off we'll have a different world you're lucky you one of the few comedians though that gets to purely performed for your audience dot is quite a few now i think more now than a thing ever before because the the others are now i think we all still if did like in australia i performed for my on its people come to me there in the crowd there always they bought a ticket to see me and that feels good in australia yet in america i'm still doing gigs i make many clubs everyone to i've still had it i had it in the past two years two or three times where i've had the club owners tell me hey i know you do this public law and i'm gum i'm in the car there like what they like
don't tell me how to do my act i'm on my way home and there like what you mean i've had three club owners in the last two years tell me you're too edgy in your two offensive onstage and you can have calm down for the next show and i let go call me in my room and unlike in the car when the taxi i'm on my way to the airport and there like net what what unlike fuck you you don't tell me i'll do my act we need to go in torment and that has happened to me this week in five minutes before i went on stage in he's like you i need you to a clean so i dont have any living leave at that point is it real i've i've staid and and they all end up apologizing and they try to keep you cause they ve got like one time it happened here and aladdin had sold out crowd can you can't tell a guy not zoos act if you dont like that act you can not hiram again but there's no way you could tell him how to do that so that's why go fuck off and i just leave it says
you can say i don't think you're funny you good firearm you can ask for another comic to come in and replace them but if you got allow me to go on stage you're not a producer have no say in what goes on you know that their guy it's his act if you know what a higher again because you don't like it that's all cool but you can't directive my god i got it in the airport i'm on the airport on the way to show and and the woman called means it hey you gotta go tonight listen i need you corporate clean and i said what she's i need you corpuscles we have lunch you know our christmas parties in and i said and when i got book dagger book to do my show and she said gabbett tonight all christmas parties and i said well then and she goes well we're gonna have to dock your pay then and i went no no you're gonna have to pay me what i was contracted to be paid we're gonna have the doktor because you won't change act from our tastes yes and i said
fuck you they treat you like your wager says and i gotta wear my apron with my logo on it or you fired but too many mc say okay i go fuck off and i leave and i think if more comics did that they wouldn't do that the care you know they need the money i mean i remember clearly days when i was told that i had a clean it up and i was coming up that it happened tie a bit if you suck it up just once if every comic sucked it up once no club owner would ever do yeah but they would because the god can still find someone to replace you and they'd probably be cleaner you know although so there was one big things about being on offensive when you first started out you get so much more work we first start out your your open for people and the last thing someone wants to do is gone after some guy who breaks all these taboo especially if you break this tat or if your act as clean you now if there's a two things
one likes guys already like doing o connor material that like a headline or does it or this particular headlined us and two of your clean and you have to find some guys talk him efficient tampon them you know a lot of times the fucking headliners a blow gasket yeah and i've seen more more censorship from headliners in common clubs and cloning guys who are not big names they just happened to be the the guy last and it was just like you say like four modem probably go to calmly club if you see a guy was an unknown name he's aren't no name just two you he's an unknown name period somebody's headline in these clubs people coming to see the show because they ve been compt like to get free tickets and off nine or you know the guy goes on the radio drums up some business and they they have contests and give wasting tickets and then they make the money of alcohol and that's that's a common thing those guys i've seen those guys that those like low level dues usually priority
struggle a little bit every now and then anyway don't change you guys act of a guy's a middle i've heard stories and i've had i've had a couple guys give me when i was coming up don't do this do not many but i've heard more stories about guys you i have never once said to anybody that opens for me don't do that or too i've never and it always annoyed me when i heard guys did it which grows its discuss like last the guy stealing sure sure or if stepan on your shit and where are those are two instances than happen all the time and what what i mean by stepping on you shit folks don't know stand up like save any of tat a joke about going to damages and it was like a signature bit about going to damages i might if i want to fuck from a thousand middle act i might go on stage and just make up my own joke about geometries that i wasn't doing the night before but i'll do it in in an all it'll be clearly like like i just slapped together but what i'm doing let us take the wind out of the sails of his job budget joke by already trampling
on that subject as a common thing the comics will do what i do what i do get everyone to i'll get mad about is somebody deliberately blowing the light and offensively blowing it like like not just togethers bust you thirty minutes and they end up doing for the five especially because you have two shows and you have to close off i'll get mad about that but it also has to be its not five minutes over it when they go ten or twenty minutes over where i want to tell their face off like a shot and he does i go that's rude and that's why people think you're on coke say it and i don't aggregate on coke you like someone is talking for an extra five minutes twenty alongside torrent i said twenty like a monkey in writing it exaggerate pounded in this area comedies an exaggeration so this this week and i had to do a fifteen minute at that i was clean and so i would like replace words instead like throwing tom it's like throwing hot dogs ruins yours and i made it silly goofy in
the delighted just when i come math jokes which is just like this happens this happens that's why that happened it's kind of a another like dumb shit we're gonna fucking worked and i was like this is horrible this is a dummy shit i've ever seen in my life you guys are loved this stupid where we're all that's allowances you should issue just enjoy you should get upset yuri yours she right now brine as we talked about this poor shows the he's he's like no in a lot of places but you don't do that many shows for people dont know you're so people know you they know you silly birch and new ridiculous in euros by a boner pills so they wanna hear this ridiculous shit area over peter i don't know you though likewise talking about common on the ceiling with you saying you know any site that's that's it that's a tough combination in its also you know you you know this very well that you can fall into when you're always performing for your crowd it gets easy oh yeah yeah united soft and you gotta throw yourself into these situations where nobody knows
you watch anybody like recently that like disappointed the fuck are you yeah i can't say who either but it was brutal mean me india has left fifteen minutes in this do really william was the laziest thing i've ever seen so long i should and i i almost wanted to his friend tell him that you can't do this there's a lot of people i got though you know i have always tried to do my very best to give a great show like i want to do the best to give the best at whatever i got at that point and i better shows and war shows but i'm always trying my best always see someone it's like this make an inner phoning unlike in and especially the doing it and they re doing it because they really have a devoted on answer might do you understand what an amazing position luck we are now hearing them
what you saw the crazy catwoman shit where is obvious it is an issue there are the factors but do not many people i mean me huge cat flames what counts i would be so sad if i want to see him and that that went down you know what a yellow someone in the autism these and that's all set his eye remember his fucking specials where i thought the guy was brilliant i'm like so fun so fun to watch you know i'm i will never forget what it's like to be a fan i think it's the most important thing in order to two still keep your zest for comedy is still remain a fan of it and also the struggle like i struggled for so long in that if we are still struggling to marry it it started to happen for me really quickly and i'm glad it didn't because i would have been one of those assholes probably that just did it but what happened was i struggled for so long that now i value it so much more mature worker anyway me here and cross fit in euros action
i seen yours if you put forth a lot of energy not legal lazy guy doesn't get should done you just fucked up a new government and australia are doing this for a while i falling queen said to me one time i was i was right taken a cab from like the seller uptown the comic strip or something and i shared a cab with calling it was after saturday living he had done all this stuff and i went calling are you doing you know like we're all young kids flying around to the clubs and comments like the generation like couple generations order what are you doing with us why are you doing and he's like he's ike every time i see what are you little fuckers on stage do in a good joke i think i gotta get to write one better i have two and its i think it's compulsive among us when i see a comic killing it i'm like yet accounting rachel you know what else makes me want to write chokes when i see someone eaten it was someone bombing i listened to combat central radio today on serious exxon there is some of the arch different channels
my main car for a long time i have not had satellite radio and i just didn't listen to the podcast but i was in the truck today i'm driving around and listen all stand up and it was terrible after terrible after terrible after terrible i couldn't wait to go home and right this is this if i ever well swell i was a closing bit that a guy did and after the bit ended he knows thank you can i also you gotta be fucking like that was your closest laziest placenta shit i've ever heard of my life does exist it is odd evil that i don't know if you try to put your best like your strongest they at last yes and so that the wooden you here thank you good night you like that shouldn't that should wish to second joe hunker shit it was that's a hunk of shit but i went i went in there one day to serious ex em too to host show and i said in charge here and they of programming the the comedy
they were really call about it i sat down with them and i went through all my bits that they play and i said don't play that one anymore don't play that one don't play that one don't play that one like i took out like shit that i'm i want retired wherever that i am not proud of any more ride out as i and that's why i constantly send them new shit to unlike play this stuff this is the stuff of products it's always funny to when you listen to stuff that you think socks and obviously somebody liked it is people there were laughing and planet when i just outside when then all sudden boom someone comes on is actually funny like day played brian postmen special and also non laughing you know like out of nowhere like oh this is actual comedy but before that our citizens are nonsense whose like somebody who just like structures sentence and said in a certain way was it's hilarious i'm such a fan of comedy that i like when i'm listening that stuff and there's a comic i dont like and all of a sudden they get i get em and i start liking them
like a comic that i would see in the club and unlike odd in like that it might have been five years ago and oliver sunday something new and i'm like they ve gotten funny and i like to see like people their lives they have actually got a funny pinata utopian hypnotized and you know like what they actually have big i've seen as it weren't funny become so fine oh yeah without a dan it's one of the great alike i got is a beautiful i love that and people think o comics or so competitive and they all he and they once you know i want to see everybody i would love to walk in a comedy club and have every comedian fuckin make me laugh he bonus i i do it because i have found the same way in a scandal i mean
i just got me i've i've got some way though that there's like brodie stevens is a perfect example where when i first met brody i fucking hated him i was scared of hand blows love blood brody on until behind your brodie before you have made me laugh from day one i know what he was barking at the comedy seller yeah i knew from from yelling are opening from man show he was the audience warm up guy and he was just like really hard like i remember was as like like we're slaves screaming remember just screaming at us we're like you were probably way too high new fuckin freak there then i met you know i sought madame a couple months later at the comedy store with you and i got to see him and then it was a guy i am i see what it is doing in now i love is brought it he's the bark outside the comedy so to get people he worked for them and herodias to get people in the sea you know come on for one that anyway so fucking funny barking people and people
comedy downstairs that's where these like his best like he like as a warm up he's like the greatest warm up levers he's really fun the way does it and when you like we see a guy like that just completely i live in one of the best shows i've ever seen best sets you'll see it you know you know what you see is show and it's like it's a late show and as many car been up and seems like the rooms dead and then one comes in and just with magic just runs around the room brodie steve took a shirt off and starts swinging over his head while he was screaming for everybody to wake up the shows not over and it was like some music planning and he got on stage they actually rivals drums six but it was the way he did it like you was all ad lib just went with the flow of things and took the audience on arriving you know wife you talk to brody he is he's truly in the moment it's all about that show right there oh yeah it's not about well
we have all those good shows i've done or he's about what am i doing right now and he will heal feel like shit after that sheriff he didn't well so he's he's fucking proof mean for his life he's like i gotta this crowd i have to kill and there's something about that i mean that that makes some great but he loves it he loves you still and of stand of comedy that's that's those the best guys there though as the most fond of the guys who actually still appreciate because it there's a the thing that happens when someone and do a stand for a long time and all suddenly decide that talk and aid aid stand up hey my crowd i hate this aid that and they just don't want to do it anymore and it's like men like a really think you need to rethink this i've gone through phases where it's not that i hate why where i'll go i hate we're on that right now and i know what happened usually i saw bombing them for a while and its i actually welcome like a bombing period like of like
month of bombing where a man not not not like bombs but like i am an extremist elsie i killed or abandon it'll just be average da it but when i have a add period i'm usually about to come into a whole bunch of new shit round aspiration honest angry about everything in the act and and then i write with austria i have to write a whole new our every year have to have like cannot go there without a new our and freak out about it do you really like go in there do enjoy it does it but you already famous their islands have my son said you you're a crowd there i've gotta crowded i sell tickets you know but but you don't feel gear their in america not i'd love to know not what you want loved so what are you like just put all your emphasis on that i probably should but its united bills and staff and in australia pay the bills amounted to how long ago were therefore here i only did about six weeks ok ok
you re like no i was just an urgency like six march there like almost half the year i was doing for months for a while no that is pretty bad ass though if you can actually live in two different countries because australia is fuckin coolly shit if you can get you to being over there and that becomes just like home to you is it is it to get used to like comparing i've never been areas i kind of like american it's like the core and are yet they won't let me say in this but it's like the fifty four state like they're so in tune with everything were doing that you just you be so other more relax your way more rather more fun like the more relaxed like the the men are more like men than women unwarlike women less hung up tight yes very texas mary texas or twenty i asked by one million people in a place as big as america yeah through their us we ve got three hundred some million people they ve got twenty million do it was just a lot you fuckin love it there you loved their it's so nice there
it was a fund as hell to new there as our maize and it said that the u have seas we ve done there been amazing i really loved their i've been there is a few countries that i would think about living in south america is only to really australia's one of em canada's another one because be the last like the least amount of altering we ain't my life do they drive on the right side of the road woodside throughout the others does mother that's bad that's why eleven you ass david lee roth on i listened episode and you're going to david lee wrong ass talking about going to japan and i was like fucking crazy so gangster like that's crazy remove apartment japan would not knowing where your honourable are the biggest och stars in history the universe funds taken swords fighting lessons i'm so jealous dog how did i i must go to japan last like you do brian eno that could be your life some day you could easily be thereby unbalanced and undergoing i'm not saying you'd be daily rough tsar clear on that but what i mean is you could be the topic
just decides to look one day eventually it's gonna be ridiculous that we're all sitting in a room together doing us we won't need to being immersion technology that so fuckin complete there will be driving this we won't need to have a studio where we show up and this is probably aims thus yeah this is we totally old school so one day we're gonna get to a point where they'll be some virtual place where we all need to do a podcast and we're doing to sit in front of a fuckin laptops slap on ahead on iran yeah or something or you know occupants rift or something like that minister this is used to set up an itunes is propaganda be archaic and the future mean being serious islet radio scooby archaic and the future for this probably gonna be some nobody saw this common right so who the fuck is going to see what's coming in fifty sixty years or less and that's you buddy mt maui chillun for and dragon of my time taken up of life living there still doing podcast it's possible totally bottom
i don't plan on being an l a very long and i've been trying to figure out why possible as far as like where can i live i know but i'm good australia we were having issues with me now my parents are getting old and i wanna be near my parents there on the east coast but i'm still five hour flight way whereas australia i'm twenty hours away right my fiance her pantries i met her over there she's an american but a matter there i would probably pick up and leave if we didn't have the you know the families here because i like it that much over there and also the dogs taken my dogs over there yet a quarantine them in its right i mean i'd take them if if there was no quarantine and by flew private or some advocate ok so no family yellow just no dogs you laugh fuckin live there why not right you have certain there sir again serve every damn sharks there's west coast west coast it five deaths last year
that's how many are in the world every year they had it in one year is bad are talk it could be a jaws like it's the same shark jesus christ the same an amicable now you just it was a weird fuckin year and i was there this year i went to perth and i looked indigo and surfing i was gonna get on the market river and i i just went i talk to one duties to serve their autonomy doesn't he does i think about sharks like one out of every twenty times i'm surfing us every day i think about them every day about just it's been ingrained in us even though it such an unlikely internet it's in had a couple years ago guide died in santa barbara that's that's like raising north cinnabar rabies in like near lama beach how can you ever serve beach and is a good beach i've served it better crazy thing about it two years before that same day a shark killed a guy day same day two years earlier you no one wants
as we the most the one the echo was swimming half a hundred yards out there they were pretty far out athletes here they were yeah they were they were training in all air though you other people were all within their all line together there all train together and sees one consciously cotton but but the giant was a wearing like a brighter swimsuit or anything different than any other lucky and this fuckin thing is like a sixteen foot great white it's a big shark and i caught some have you have a better chance of getting killed by like a couch regarding started stopping nonsense because not true because i'm nowhere near fucking cows we're out there in the ocean it all your in shark tell about dogs but essential way more people than nonsense scenario there's a better chance of getting hit by learning then kill both short that's true but that's not true if you're going to fucking water because most people are going in the fucking water
people say that shit that's a down stairs still milosevic's italy has not where you know you have a zero percent chance of dying in the plane crash of you don't go for complaint gina wasn't me that's a real statistic not this nonsense of its more likely they get hit by light and others better kids apparently more people die from vending machines falling on them euro per cent of sharks occur outside the water no shot if you doctor australians you'll think they fuckin fly out of the water they can they can fly the lobbying into which i saw the other day and in amazon markel island florida i saw a sting ray i out of the water like on my going five feet out of the water and then back in and that's it woman died on the boat in innocuous there's something else righted sting rageous came out fucking clock their hit the boat and yeah that's the guy is a head injury my god germans if you were there and you saw that happened when i saw this think about water outside wiped off
have you seen those fucking fish that fly out of the water when you're driving by an a of and these invasive species invasive species their species i think their courts i think it's a google flying fish fish snake heads or something like that i think of the snake yet i might be confusing my fish europe what these these fuckin things do is they fly out of the water and that these people ivan boats and there like literally a launching themselves out you can hit em what tennis rackets it's crazy this see if i can find the the very finally while you're looking for that i know a guy that's been attacked by a short twice i got was retarded yet he thought the haiti itself you can google on benjamin
he was he was in that add friends by unhoped me up with em they're like hey this it'll take you surfing tomorrow we're out in a bar nose like all cool where we can serve this will serve tallow speech which is on one side of iron bay and i've stood up at the lighthouse and looked down at tell us and if you look down can see dolphins sharks whales all kind of shit the water i go i'm not for conserving there and he goes school man it's real i serve it all the time and i go no way man too much sea life there i'm not going in and ngos because he is i've been attacked he starts tell me the story i go i saw you on the news i saw you the news you're the guy because you go i'm going with you what are the chances most unlikely incident happened to this you know like so and he goes well i've a visit twice and i go flock off and told me their time he's out there in a bunch of makos were frolicking any
see them now if i saw that amount of the water what's wrong with him and he said one of them broke free came adam and he just like start like punchy nodded and like pushing it away and it and left him alone but but the the the other shark a thing was a white pointer bit his board and you could see the teeth bars you can google the picture is because i like internal hemorrhoids or something like that you think what did i say that from the blood thing i cut my foot the other day in australia pretty bad and i didn't realize it was bad because you know when you're in water constantly the blood's google fly silver carp text krista fish flying silver car but the ones that fly the fuckin water we boat yet it's a little bit of blood that has to be in the water that's it its brow internal hemorrhoids you might be and turned out every night that's where he couple lambeth we just fuck and think about what you said before a small events are low blood in your by hell it's just a little bit of blood thicken forgets
takes the girls on a period like probably should never going water there sharks yet now they say that they say that gallia absolutely i just don't get it i mean our own imagine you'll be really fun but i just can't i can't believe would be fun enough to risk there used to be a rumour that if you piss in your wetsuit which everyone does than the urine gives off the same kind of sent that the blood does that attracts sharks exerts a guy in south africa you need see this video he's writing the wave he's up cruising down the wave up and down on face of the wave two sharks converge on him grab him by the arm and they they ran and each other and that's why they let go of em but these guys getting nobody's fuckin fish they fly through the narrow bloody too with a well they land shadow like delegations the lilies fucking things they just fly through the air man they're all over the place
where are they called silver lying silver carbon there an invasive species see that i guess he's geyser either just i and all over the frog fish mean they literally launch themselves in the air and sometimes when you go through like a whole school of them and in like an infestation like it really can be dangerous people getting hit and hadn't and these things are an invasive species like they ve taken off they're not supposed to be there i don't think i think if i remember correctly they somebody introduce them to these areas and now they're just fucking taken off like crazy how funny the fish have been would get election room or get really baked in just hook curved happening here get attack and how they want to leave you die thou i'm a thousand mushrooms and fish lodged in his mouth i think their choked today i think i'd rather die from a shark attacked in one of these the fuckin thing what a crazy foreigners would be bad parana would be awful what is wrong with these fuckin fish man that's so weird geronium
some nude all the catfish yeah see i love those shows this i was in my fuckin hotel room and forget where it was and i was born out of my mind so i was an entire episode of this show where they like stick their hand holes and get catfish you know not on design your body to yeah if you don't know a newly as is the whereas fuckin thing through the mouth and out the gil discuss and then pick them up and then there like like hundreds of pounds you have these fuckin silver carp can get to be a hundred pounds don't knock you the faint you get to be a hundred and ten pounds and they fly through the fuckin air the imported from china nineteen seventy for use in a quite aquaculture ponds to control plankton by the early nineteen eighties both species had escaped into open waters in the southern states why this is a fiscal a big head and the other one called it a silver carp here's a did noodle in this is fucking
span no established populations are known the carp have been caught by commercial fishermen over the last four years apparent people started these out an invasive species when they bring it in yeah they bring a fish was noodle and these guys so crazy because sometimes they get to holes they reach an errand snapping turtles and then either fuckin hand bitten off a guy's gun fucked up doing this change rodeo cap well some guys really dragged on the water really do fucked up man does you gotta get a good grip on this count really it is such a primal way that's fake i don't know but some of i mean look if you if you grab a hold of all my god what
catch or final her release wise let me go rule as a weird what's wrong with the things mouth in where my parents living is its mark what is their beauty its own picture what's really going on while let us nothing for he has served us real yes i'm sure there's some that are online there are real but grab your arm and put in the mouth of a hundred power animal not and its in its environment knock it off people understand how strangle fucking hundred pound confessions either i mean you ever like cats his fishing i would like to dwell on your challenge was like oh my god look at the size of these you under pound so these i've been knocking must if i mean it why they so confident they out of these things things are still alive a cue
but is that we do so that they can hold onto these things there still alive there in the water while he just friggin give free like their holy you know and watch the show if you'll just listening these two seems like russian right speaking russian gonna look and ended up regional drench method of investment in spanish is it that's banished yeah that's how i also telling if i tell it fanatic nuremberg muttered yet some of the earlier senator these fucking catfish these guys whatever it is these catherine you guys are holding our fuckin boats their boats that seven footnote the size of a dolphin yeah that is exactly the sort of dolphins sane when they catch those things man those things feed a whole fuckin village are they gonna let it go look at their career women like i know where you live
i'll let you when they call upon you it is the largest catfish ever caught there's a photo of this i think he was like thailand or someone whether they be caught this insane large catfish i mean and it shows like this whole like village like participating in cooking and eating the average but it's it's neil i mean the largest can put google that lord how much now i don't know i don't remember unawareness because we could find it soon catfish ever i think it's something enormous like over a thousand pounds here's a two hundred and twenty pounds cocked catfish being caught
what's save the nine largest fish ever caught apparently catfish is in that mix just saying i think the largest fish ever caught as a shark if i if i'm correct i think like a mako shark is it going to fish are really mega yeah blue card fishes number nine ok ready for this world record blue fish are not nearly springs a thought it's a hundred and thirty pounds ok that's not the biggest cat for now there's ellen was a landline we're devices children twenty at ok tiger fish the sub big the biggest ones get attire fish a hundred pounds alligator gar two hundred and thirty pounds jesus christ appreciate those get big
not too large last bass laid the data sharks they ok this is it and make com giant grizzly bear catfish the adult nine foot long six hundred and forty six pounds oh my god mic com giant catfish six amnesia k o gee giant catfish that's apparently the biggest freshness with rawdon real pressure shore but the biggest fish ever caught is is it tuna and the base fish are caught as one thousand four hundred and ninety six pounds allegation that make us money its enormous this guy standing in front of us fuckin thing and its bigger its way bigger than him that's some serious cash that's crazy fish two tunas urges all muscle the author super gangster you know
flying around and giant schools jack another fish of you can catch one that's a thousand hockin a lot of imagine a hundred thousand thousand pounders hundredth under the ocean just falcon everything up in front of them some asshole comes along with a fake fish and just gang some can i went away when i went down in the cage in south africa with the great white oh you silly bitch and when you see things coming out you monsters months why did you do that when you totally can completely convinced that there are gonna be will keep their things away from you
will they put you in the cage in the top of the cage is open to the boat seek unlike climb out of the cage and into the boats it's almost like you're in a steel cage aquarium and i bet you gotta put on a wet suit and snorkel on everything and they were they run an oxygen in like thing down to you or you wear like a snorkel and you go up and down like you hold wrath go down and were well but you wait for four hours for the sharks to show up they they put fish in the waters it's illegal to push him in the water they can't do that well weren't there like there was a show that there were filming in south africa i believe we were there we were down at thy africa with the area we are and i think her manners and there's a place like seal island will they blame these people for for a death because they were
coming to get the sharks to catch sharks on their show so they so they made that illegal but they still put fish oil and was not the same thing and they d i think so pretty much and they put fish oil in the water that fucking catfish holy fuck oh my god size such would often whose pictures than does the tuna that's the biggest fish ever caught apparently but these great whites they were the big fuckers they were as big as you can imagine how big do you think the biggest great white is how big is he was the biggest great whatever cogs it seems like a great white would be heavier than tune rather like twenty four it doesn't make sense with its biggest wait wait there were caught i mean i was looking at ones that were at least twelve at least twelve feet long how much the twelve one fuckin shark work or at least what
were terrified teases where those lampreys ok this is ridiculous saying that sharks were caught there were over three thousand pounds that's enough thinking as this is where where apparently looking at a well it might us probably mighty rawdon real will you read things on the internet as the problem while what are these breeze these have killed only one yet listings well clings onto wings dave sharks kildee twenty one foot eight inch great white shark that's it the biggest want anyone foot killed was out on tat new york mature here
this is actually even joe almost as big as the one in the movie jaws which was caught by vic kissed his slump in nineteen eighty five it was the biggest great white shark ever caught so nineteen eighty five they caught the the biggest great white shark ever ha while suggestive of even bigger sharks he also clan to cut a bigger one than the one picture but he couldn't and it so he he hooked a bigger one than the twenty one foot one i believe like that while i was reading about recently apparently there is great white are the ones that do other killing off like the cost california they go over to australia hawaii they they found them ever their south but there's one out in the middle of the ocean called the oceanic shark check this out these are ones that hang out in the middle of the ocean
and they're like bigger than great whites oh geez and they don't come to the coastal regions or what the fuck are they they're just a big fuckin mother called our oceanic share the ones like when guys we're getting shot down in world war two and their planes were like out in the middle of their responsible for a lot of das because they'll clean up like a fuckin whole shipwreck head out there that they're the ones that i like the great wants a white ones that are right here right off a fuckin allay yeah they ve caught we'll sharks before but will sort on the same thing look up the other looked out of the ocean sharp oceanic forget what it's like an ocean wider something it's called the law just great white shark was caught up philip island waited nineteen zero there five thousand eighty five pounds i served their a month ago capable among all my people it was twenty
feet eight inches long and it wait five thousand eighty five pounds look at that fuckin monster you look at the size that goddamn thing how scary is that bitch so oceanic shark that's when we hear the i just surf there and they told me when we are going they said this is known as a very shocking area and i said why this is not a lot she seal breeding and i went fuck the oceanic white tipped jyar nature is so creeping why decree wait till you good alaska go see a mosque ox but is that look it up when i saw it i'm just in the sharks i didn't know i didn't know that they existed we're drive
down the road one day in alaska and i look over and i see this thing and i go what the fuck is that niggers are that's like research lapse of unfair banks were the university is gonna what's any animal you that's a mosque ox and i got no you guys just made that up that doesn't exist in my world you made that up and it looks like we got an issue here fella what this thing send me might have the wrong name shark the oceanic white tip because a sustained the largest whenever cot was only four metres i think and i think they are responsible for allotted deaths and that's what it was the day they on the ocean or what the fuck that's a totally different thing you see ass it is now a bigger shark come on don't want you to be completely wrong here said tom about some awesome giant shot there were no doubt because i was reading about which
somebody goes i saw hammerhead nega they don't even kill and argued with look up largest killer show ourselves looking up which types are the most aggressive cause he always hear different stories are bull sharks bullshit ass the tigers makos do you know that i was shocked that the big thing that happened in jersey that inspire gotta reversed yeah they got there i got the rivers in a fresh water man they found one is high north as illinois that show monster hunter remember that or monster quest jurisprudential yeah the un that show there's a couple things they and on hold on shows pretty cool one of em was bull sharks because it was like a man said sharks had gone up river into fresh water like deep deep into the country but apparently bull sharks can survive in fresh water they dont prefer
but they can survive day their nasty two apparently boys they're the ones that attack you not not for food their dear fix you other evil man their evil the really really aggressive sharks what else is really tiger sharks those entitled to know off there's a video that was on the internet somebody semi of a bunch of tigers it in broom australia where a whale beached like up it's like in a foot of water a foot of water and these makos are all just eating the fuck out of here and there flopping around him like a foot of watering you're like while they'll go into football and girls are all like taking pictures and stuff and they're getting too close the de sharks but they're just feeding on this whale just like eating this heads off of it yeah i i've seen shit like that you know the previously
never seen animal feeding is a pile of commodo drag have you ever seen now dude got bright google commodo dragons feeding frenzy because they it's like it's like walking dead we are seen walking dead the movie the tv show ya you not zombies gather collapse on a body and adjust all of em like just in a mass trying to rip this body par in poland chunks out common dragons this is just one images is too few of them this is a small group is only three i've seen you know those guys i sharpshooter i've seen him yeah kemal dragons that's about way to go but come on rag answers images online if you look and did you ever see environment is online shit load of i don't know if this is fake and i know a lot of people have probably seen it please don't send it to me again i actually leading to an i rarely like don't look at things but it was
it was like a bunch of drug dealers took a guy like out into the middle that's reveals whose khumalo dragons of stacked on top of this there is an even better one that is if you look a little further down on that google and mature searched there's just one a little further down so ridiculous with other ruthless man will these these like drug dealers took a guy out into the middle this field and i know what they did durham i think they are enough they be had at first but then these vultures come and just pick away it is body and it's a series of photos showing you the beginning to the end and the skeleton have you ever seen knows to varying at funerals that its extra religious thing it's now no no he saw him out there very he saw him out people there's this too once we are talking about the tibetans sky funeral when he's talking about as them torture
but leaving their bite vultures but there's two everything's what's the tibetan sky the pure george we will they love oh great take their body when they die in they cut it up and they feel the vultures and they actually films they fell met and take photographs of it and the people requested they said look if i die i want you to see me cultures can release then you know your body goes its used for something and they go here core whether they smash does the skull after the the vultures go through the body smashed up the scars of gibraltar each that too don't google in its search it scraps google images a blue immature did you getting hot on your show versus spending no no many central show that used to be on the air where they compete against each other yeah no item on my share its some fucking maniac on one of his shows he does all these crazy shows he ate a human body what's yes he had they grind it up teeth he ate teeth wise
in he's a maniac hilarious ghak why would he do because he's crazy watch watch this what some of the youtube videos or suspending versus spenny this one that they always compete against each other and one was who can eat more meat and he was grinding up meet making me check this the tibetans guy funeral and there's worse whereas this using aside the person's faces just answer the sky they time down to so the voters can carry him off so they have to finish it right there time down divulges go through than the alarms of enlarging follow me they have a whole bunch of down to would know your already dead and i like the laugh i still some people die that where they want or they want to be dealt with their wants a corpse we dealt with that way might islamic spectacle to work with the way we do it is really weird wee wee poison the body yet so that nature can't consume not yet nearly as easily so like you could bob dig someone out of a whole has been there for like a year
so the one you want that show like those autonomy shows autopsy shows where they have degree bodies times are doing in the persons of second year plus in the hall and their body still there because the eu formaldehyde the shit out of it and while the funeral to the open casket funeral i don't think there's anything creeper who it's weird i don't know i don't why anyone does have you had any one you know of those i'll get her tongue i group catholic and they they do that unlike stop coming we ve been through a lot of growth but it's weird that it's standard you know i'm pretty sure they make you a bomb someone even if you're gonna cremate m really think so i think they take aren't they della go straight cremation right is not the case none think so i think you're wrong i think i get british army british changes joey dna my train friend that is actually an undertaker they might
in the blood but they robbed or replace it with him you know how they drain they have today are i think they have two percent until they be with them on the table to drain the blood on the one talk about this ain't the shit they because there's a store at what i got a friend of mine a job at a funeral home on your funeral director i got this guy job we're in college and he's jewish and he had never been a jewish funerals they don't do that he the funeral home use work in their washing cars watching the hearse in the limousine everything one day the guys who worked with the first day said go in that room and gets more sponges he goes in the right but the embalming room there's a body on the table and they caught them like the risks and the ankles i think and just let the wrist and like legs hang and so all the body up all the blood drips and the floors like grated floored largest collection is all the blood on their strains on her knee so he walks in the room and sees them
she sees his body and just fuckin loses it and run lou quits the job done even go to pick up his channel wonder like that's haunting here's the end it's that there's no state law this has a body must be embalmed before cremation it's a bit more complicated some states require that about a bird buried cremated imbue or refrigerated within a certain amount of time so what and though is that fewer homes will repeal off and that if you say that you want to get the body cremated if they get a hold of it before and i in army against brought someone's body is broader flower if that happens a lot of times that try to sell you on embalming the person before cremation they just tell tell you that has to be done but it doesn't have to be that i apparently really like that's why i like there's a lot of money and taking care of dead bodies because people are forced to do something about it you can't just bury your you're not allowed to is not legally kansas like say you know hey you know bobby dinah car
do you we take him and i to put in my back yard behind apple tree i voted against burma a friend of your yard it has to funeral home or rather it has to be a mortuary what whatever it's gonna be a cemetery you gotta be you know it's gotta be taken in a certain way he can throw in the whole u have to bomb for thrown on the whole i think for the most part it costs kosovo cast and so does amazon i'm a little while its task is on their wonders in that either the amount of money that sport into them too likely you know the deluxe all your put men in the dirt in an hour get it if you want i mean how much people spend on their weddings in some people have these crazy million dollar weddings look there's it is a coffin is look at the size of a boy that's right it's fucking
you unease you watch the brazilian prank show whether now coffin is in the elevator no the same one where i wear the little which comes out of the fuckers are the best things around either we're gonna ranch i assume is locking great the best prank ever you're in there in the elevator and not the lights off in the elevator they gonna cameron there and then girl i dont want to tell me i'll watch awesome i watch it online lead but watch them with the casket woods are probably just brazilian my goes girl saga elevator scarce girl presumed gets me when you re watching for our now yes yes watch no no no no no no no one wants a balloon pass such what guitar that's it any of that too powerful twitter may on the world twitter make addressed a
fell to and can get twitter followers i think it's some spelling my name or that i dont when would mean what's my gaelic sixteen thousand bulgaria i know it's ridiculous fuck around every australia and i use twitter without a doubt did not something it's not his big big in a lot of places to live i noticed a lot of people from texas don't use toy you're out of your mind taxes is flooded with twitter ostensibly south west is a huge fuckin twitter destination percent from houston doesn't really i think a lot of folks like regular people then why do me for comedian sounds gigantic facebook twitter i thanks to were hovered dot com go do hovered our comfort slash rogan and get ten percent off domain name registrations thank you to all dark combat oh and an i t use a code name rogan save ten percent off any and all supplements my teacher company higher dash primate doc
for those asking we ordered new versions of all shirts their end but the run j are you sure it's are already out so while i ordered a fuck load more this next time so hopefully that what's happening joe rogan dot net the tour dates are all up there are so few in alaska or vague or seattle or boston i'm coming attacks on sunday times when he and various milwaukee july fifth things that's it we love the fact that people and i will be back on monday tv show and talked more crazy people geez yeah
Transcript generated on 2020-03-19.