« The Joe Rogan Experience

#373 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz

2013-07-10 | 🔗
Joey "CoCo" Diaz is a Cuban-American stand up comedian and actor.  Joey also hosts his own podcast called "The Church of What's Happening Now"
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
what's wrong with you i'm looking ice you start around him because that you already have start well that's okay we just i just we just went live here hey everybody want we understand folks we hear your story you hear your plight that you stream's been fucking up for you it's been what was it called buffering you just lost my mic you know what i've noticed though joe is that a lot of its different browsers so if it's fucking with you on one browser try different ones the flash plugin alone has been just a connie bitch is that what it is like like like on youtube i have problem on certain browsers where does certain things and i change changed it around and i've been noticing a lot of browser issues i do
for the most part what do you use i use safari i went back to safari why did you go back so far because it seems like it's usually the best when it comes to working with everything it's crazy it's been fucking with everything it didn't used to write it didn't used to be the best one i don't think so now but it's always been solid for me chrome is good but the problem with chrome is is that i just go crazy extensions and next thing i know it fucks things up like adblock plus whatever right i should things up and then you forget that that might be the reason why in a number so far retype among the flock that's right this episode speaking of the web is brought to you by square space you go to square space dot com forward slash roku joe what is my name swears first pizza come forward slash joe if you go
and check it out you could design design your own website joey as i know you could pull it off it's not difficult to stupid you say that ma'am but i'm telling you was someone squarespace you could do it i could do it it's i'm i'm i'm not sure you that much farther behind me you know bryant does them while the shows going on he's walking out websites you know and towards what's it the thing about it is you can try it it's not interesting it's excellent about it is you can try it without actually paying for it first so you can go you sign up you don't have to give your credit card no you don't have to do anything just try it out start building your website and then we decide to purchase square space use the for kodjoe seven an you get ten percent off your first purchase it's a sweet spot you should really check it out because you and make a very professional looking website in a tiny amount of time including setting up your own online store i have
i've had many sponsors on this podcast and tell you this there is one answer that i've never had any negative feedback on that square space now ever say anything bad about beaver said bad about everything fuck and find a way to complain about anything there's always i'm not saying that their complaints are necessarily valid you know i think sometimes people are correct there over judgmental but oftentimes they are correct but square space one hundred percent i'm not one person who said anything bad about it to me yet now watch i'll go on twitter and they'll cut it up for me anyway go to squarespace dot com slash joe use the offer so joe seven and save yourself ten percent off all right god damn it we're also brought you by legalzoom
legalzoom is a website where you can get a lot of shit done that ordinarily you would have to go to a lawyer for like you can get at you can inquire ok or you can form an llc which is limited legal oh no no it means what well see mean exactly it's where you make a company so you could dump all your money into and then once it fucks up you run and start a new company yeah and you don't like anybody any money or something or something yeah yeah that people have been fucked over like that you could do an llc at legalzoom for only one hundred dollars so if you want to start fucking people off it's only ninety nine dollars and then somehow another i don't know what happen you might want to also get a will at that time which you could also do it legalzoom that's another good idea when you start fucking people over that man they want to shoot you so you can make your own will for just sixty nine dollars you can also get living trusts power of attorney and more in the past twelve
years are over two million americans have used legalzoom and they've said fuck loads of money to sweet setup if you use the code rogan in the referral box you'll save yourself some money remember that legalzoom is not a law firm they just provide cell help services at your specific direction and they can also connect you with an independent attorney independent turning now attorney fuck head they can so connects you with an independent attorney if you need additional guidance so check it out legalzoom dot com user code name rogan boom sha shaka shaka boom when was the other one i had to do first legalzoom dot com dot com which is appropriate because new s squad shirts are on pre order as of right now if you go to dessquad dot tv my favorite of all the design is that brian has created i actually love this one it's fucking bad ass i
the cat in the last one he was my favorite cat but this is a cool shirt this is i love the colors too and it's it's a very high quality shirt as opposed to not do the other ones were low quality but there like the standard way you get a t shirt when you have like a big design like that death squad logo is they just they take like a vinyl final whatever it is with some sort of sticker i think i think it's it's not the process is just a bunch of it's like a field to give a plastic shield ours like when you're working out you feel like this like like you almost have armor on yeah very uncomfortable when a lot of colors we get we get sweaty yeah yeah if he gets
he gets where so this this process actually bleaches the shirt and then re dis the ink in it so it's actually this like that they were just just the cotton see can feel the design so it's an upgrade from the last couple shirts i did so i wanted to have a little bit better quality yeah well you know he saw how my higher primates sure it's b rock in it and like damn son why they so sweet all you know because of my man mike max well drawn me some funky champs that's right so yeah so these become out really soon so jump on now date i mean i see a load of these old ones every time i performed doing this past weekend when joey diaz when i were rocking the joint in vegas got damn son god damn will talk about that will talk about that will talk about the ufc and legal stamps dot com and legal squarespace dot zoom now i'm just going to rock not to harm him dot com sorry real ups to match info that far hives stamps dot com if
you go there if you click on it they have that old school microphone in the upper right a corner well if you click on that old school the microphone and enter in the code name j r et which stands for the joe rogan experience you can save an ass load of money include it's a hundred ten dollars thing off you get a free scale digital scale which you are not to use for marijuana sir this is for sending packages asshole do not send listen to me do not send marijuana through the post office use ups 'cause the post office that's like it's against the law that put you in okay so that one still probably wouldn't take the we don't sell and you can't blame of i was a male may not be written up while i'm bloke students get sent out yet it's just the the code the code this week code you save a lot of money off of what they normally offer but even if you do not my code it's a great deal he had this sweet
digital scale and what you do is you print like savior selling anything like brian selling those t shirts you to make it yourself have it printed up yourself and you just the package is on a digital scale you print up everything off of your computer boehm handed the postman done i used it today actually i had i haven't used the mail in a long time and i didn't have a stamp like fuck i gotta go to the store and like oh yeah i have stamps dot com and i just put the envelope in the printer banned smoking in the mailbox so easy can you go wrong go to stamps dot com and use the code jre and say give yourself some money on an excellent service and things like that just to say something official they give you shared a sale like something official but it's one hundred and ten dollars value yeah it's what it is is a really good deal that's what i think about stamps dot com i think it just told
it makes sense if you're smart like why would you want to go to the fucking post office use anything joe rogan selling that's when i'm talking i'm a song that we don't have that many years left i don't have twenty minutes to go down there and wait for the fucking it's a nightmare to deal a lot more in twenty minutes if you go to the wrong post office at the wrong time i've been there before where it took me an hour and ten minutes ago i told her yes yeah it was uh bring people and they all had shit away there also it was around christmas i was an asshole i was like wow this is bad i hate going out boy i got a box at the po box i go to and you gotta give me together with online shopping and i forget to when i get emails from people who sent my ship back yeah and i don't want to burden these fucking people either who wants to be the 30th person in line that day access shit for them to send out and they're tired doing your god damn work for you stamps dot com just need to get a passport thing 'cause that's the only reason i have to go to the post office now for like when you have to do things like passports or showing that just as annoying 'cause you're mixing passport people in with fucking regular mail people
what do you mean like getting a new passport is in german yeah that's where i got my passport recently and was a pain in the ass at the po yeah yeah together to doesn't that's drugs tobacco and firearms yeah i know they do that'll and there is a tupac tobacco alcohol and firearms they're all together like how old is what the is one of those three together that's ridiculous passports in stamps so you could set up package or you whatever your sending through the air messenger broken why would drugs to back on farm show up to arrest you for tobacco like if you were in salem with the stickers on is that it or where you could sell stolen shit it could be that you could be yeah it could be like not having a t
stamp or something so like your company is trying to sell it not pay taxes on it people are crazy man you always hear about people that are like running businesses for a couple of years gangster style cash only pay no taxes and they just vanish it happens all the time you know there is we this lady yesterday uh from the oxycontin express was talking about those pain clinics in florida and one of was cash only they were there for two years he made forty million dollars they got arrested will jailing clinics do they they hook you up with some oxide saito axes yeah if you're if you're interested go go listen to it because she was the whole store was fox amazing we can talk about that on the podcast a dog we just got all doubt to get a full we're also brought
bionic com as always say on it in a different way i've tried i've tried out commercials in a different way i've tried if you've never heard this podcast before on it is a comp in full disclosure that i have a financial stake in and essentially we sell really just shit that i use shit that aubrey an i use shit that peep use of the trying to get in shape it's like we saw a lot of kettle bells and we have these things called primal bells or kettle bells with this cool chick pansy face we had sculpted into it it's pretty bad ass metal boss types of things you need for strength and conditioning workouts that the type of full body workouts that i think are the most beneficial as far as like application in sports or in your everyday life just picking up shit you know you don't pick up shit just like curling things if you're smart you your whole body and when do exercises like kettle bells and steel maces and club bells those are the above strength and fitness pieces of equipment that sort of
size those style workouts the style workouts where you use your whole body as one unit instead of like really breaking things down to like i in exercises which people used to do back in the day and it's ok if you want to look all sexy you wanna have some sex tape biceps if that's your only goal then go go go you fuck sexy guido you curls get your the back triceps on one of those curling doesn't remember those things show ideas this preacher curls everybody would do that everybody wanted big guns to preacher curl one of the least useful positions you ever find yourself in double barred hang over a couch girls anyway go on a dot com use the code name broke in and save yourself some shackles joey coco de as is here and we're fixing to get busy okay check yourself before you wreck yourself
big dicks in the ass experience trying my gas my night all day shocker shocker shocker bang son we back we live we which d as joe he gave me a pot candy and i got high holding in my hands okay i held in my hand she backs that basically these people are broken up into high bred city even indica and that is even run azizi was saying he likes to cheeba chews be likes to full boat one the white really rosie goes deep death ribbons easy over there on long island go india i've had him with coffee in the morning before flight and they fucking pick me up i will drink energy drinks because i did blow but these things fucking pick me right up so why not bad this is i gave you the pain relief twelve ok these guys are
one deep if you want if you do a energy drink it makes you want to do blow no no i did blow for all those years where they don't work oh that's fucking red bone go to sleep i can coffee go to sleep to be honest take to do that too i could drink a couple i used to be able to do that when i had sleep apnea ice available just typing fucking just hit the crib right after a cup of coffee yeah it's amazing this oh my god i started to drink two things to starbucks and parking pass get the fuck outta cuban coffee fucks me up that not persian coffee is that what it is you re coffee there's some coffee that's fucking out there that the the caffeine is just outrageous greek or one of the a lot of those coffees that people think are like really strong it's like the taste of it it's not necessarily the caffeine like you know espresso everybody assumed espressos like stronger than a cup of coffee not real now it's actually weaker as less the light
your coffees are the ones with the more caffeine like a dark dark tiffany apparently a dark coffee doesn't have as much caffeine is like a lighter coffee oftentimes like when and what you burn a more i guess to make it dark maybe it makes sense you roasted longer what am i not about over here but the first time i ever had cuban coffee i'm like oh this is like everything else cubans do it's crazy you take coffee put a half a pound of sugar in it she start they missed it is with the fuck are those sweets i couldn't believe how sweet it is we were working in miami at the improv it's always like cuban coffee dog book that's for girl still have you been to miami international airport and see that starbucks is always empty
that's funny because it's a call it's zero dollars and thirty five cents for shot i know thirty five cents a cuban crafty airport an if they give you the sugar mixed into a union feel guilty for putting that much sugar in it you know you like hey this is what i asked for it's like a desert i didn't know it's a desert and there's a little pick me up but i think there's more than there is apparently this is the highest common thing you could do benzie starbucks mean get more in lieu yeah i think no i don't enter new mountain dew that they put a bunch of caffeine in a while ago maybe they took it off the right now that's the one that made me go to cedar sinai for a good time yeah it was that exact same drink mountain dew made you go to the hospital that was one where i pulled over on the side of the road and they they they they act like they i i i sat on the curb with my phone out with i had nine one and have one about to push enter i just because i i felt like i was having a heart attack do you feel bright it felt like your
it's going to like like breathe where you high too no i wasn't i wore in hilo not eating that day but i had one of those to wake me up in one yeah but it was a big ass i mean this this was like a like a humongous like a big goal size of a c2 oh like so what is it like eighteen hours yeah and then i've seen sixteen to eighteen year yeah but but they checked me the ambulance check me like dude your heart's going crazy we need to get you inside and then they like put uh for that water in your blood is 'cause i said i was dehydrated and they give you like an iv drip yet they they gave me i have you tried it but it cost me like three thousand dollars for this mountain dew she said incredible amazing how much it cost like for an ambulance to come and just look at you and you alone was nine hundred dollars yeah don't sign the paperwork at the end tell run out of it is that the so
they charge you nine hundred dollars ok is it for their time is is the service it's like most expensive limo in the road man if i was rich i'd be just using ambulances you can go through lights say you have a heart attack so i'm just kidding taking the movies here she got it good company through the faster you brilliant that's like a felony felony felony daniel happened ambulance company and you go through all the right paperwork and you're like you know i need to be picked up dude if this wasn't a
comedy podcasts just because when you said you probably go to jail under the patriot act this is like crazy and it's brilliant wing so brilliantly should all die in long island idea i'm going to open up an ambulance company to people i'm gonna run through red light dog that's brilliant and don't do it they get fucking pulled over right now what's going on here and the person whoever the heart attack hug and no no i thought if i had the lights i can run through red lights and if you get pulled over a year just in the back seat and go alright stay that you're having a panic attack and will just take it to the hospital who is a guy when i lived in newton ma there was a guy who were so by the way i went back to recently i couldn't believe how small it was it was really weird it's weird when you back home then you realize how small everything was you don't know what happen specially like boston area like it was all those tools like
towns were separated by these little two lane roads it's really weird it's really weird to go back to it um don't forget we're telling you went back home and you use the noon i don't fucking know either what what did you say just before that but the ambiance tell the guy without sorry sorry sorry folks a guy was using the ambulance like it wasn't going to an emergency just using it because he wanted to get home or whatever you want to do whatever the fuck you want if you want to go through the slide and he slammed this woman killed her and there was you know it was i mean they wanted him dead remember this like people were fucking really upset that someone because someone abused a public friend like that you know people that if an ambulance is coming through its risking safety because trying to save a life in this deck was just driving around thought it was cute it's run red lights so i check this out
you know slammed into somebody i always pull over i see people a a cop went but three cop cars went by me me and maybe two other people pulled over that way they don't fucking pull over they don't fucking pull over yes it's scary it's scary now people are dickish man like to wait for other people to pull over so they can pull over and follow the ambulance and like cut a path through i've seen people do that they don't do it at all out here i'm in ohio everybody in every little fucking highway would i just saw a client on like this is fucking rude california some of the worst driving manners i've ever experienced in my life ever ever it's so rare first of all that anybody ever gets out of the fast lane it's amazing when you watch someone in the fast lane then you watch someone pull up behind them and you see them just sit there and then the process go around like they look and they know and they know they're going slower going sixty get out of the lane they don't want to go out winners morpho can bring this more concrete my name in the of course you dealing with these little two lane roads
there's two lanes on each side so everybody who's going slow goes to the fucking right you don't want them to move the fucking it's that simple but california it's like everything else it's like such a wealth of lanes out here there's so many fucking lanes on the highway the people are getting in the name mean right handed girl fan ranking hang around there man check this app have you seen this rethink your drink this just how much sugar is in each different kind of drink i think it is oh my god red bull holy is that real or is that caffeine caffeine that sugar oh my god look how much sugar is in red bull that's insane same is that small mountain dew though it is right oh my god i didn't even have regular size mountain dew it looks like and you know what here's the other thing would be better if it was actually sugar in there that was there sugar in water is that what that says this thing about watering sure fucking water bottle of water how is that possible now true it's zero
it shows zero right kool aid no i think that's i think that's just reflection yeah right yeah yeah right yeah it's trying to get you to drink water obviously yeah note or if you need that little packet of cool aid that's ridiculous at the same out as a little white chocolate milk that's crazy yeah there's a lot of sugar in our lives folks were kind of hooked on that yeah i'm trying not drink coffee right now and i've been drinking this parenthesized sized passion fruit iced tea everyday it has no caffeine in it but i don't get sweetener in it and i get splenda and that's just yeah but it's gonna give you brain cancer with that much splendor that drinking that much easier to go the stevie area yeah but starbucks doesn't have stevia for some is all she got a gang of them here why don't you why don't you i think starbucks goes on steven too expensive i don't know maybe they deal with splenda to keep steep
people from knowing about steve suppressing knowledge dog suppressing herbal goodness delicious took me a little while to get used to it but knowing and it's an herbal sweetener and that it's like literally no strings attached it's just you it takes it in it doesn't seem to have any my tell the truth is this seems to have any health recently i heard some stuff and that's why people were i'm going to go do something else that other one it's like with x or z or a z we are xylitol i've heard that as well like some people like the xylitol where there was a reason that people were saying something recently about steve would maybe i'm wrong let's google what's wrong with stevia what do you do joey dudek straight a little v8 thousand at aubrey gave me i have the blue packages
i get it 'cause it's super strong to have sugar tool which i don't use every once in a while with the new coffee machine i'll make a cuban coffee but you know what's crazy dog the biggest addiction i ever had was to coca cola and went to weight watchers i stop drinking soda and it was like the toughest three months of my fucking life guys like i thought it was worse than getting off the blow not having like chinese food or some of the coke the other day i had i went to some place to eat 'cause we out of diet coke i said you know what give me a coat it was fucking horrible it's to sugaring oh my god ridiculous oh my fucking god it was terrible with this stevie is used as a weight loss aid it's used for treating diabetes high blood pressure and heart burn for lowering uric acid levels an for preventing pregnancy also for increasing the strength of the muscle contractions that pump blood from the heart wow yeah
that doesn't seem like you could eat that all day it seems like it seems like if you eat that all that you have fucking issues i mean maybe we should talk to tate he could our patient zero who's that dude that's tv in his system all day he just drinks those mugs of bulletproof coffee i actually give a plug eight hundred and eighty two because tate just started his own mobile coffee business he doing a butter coffee truck and they uh they i guess they roll around it's called rolling butter it's rolling underscore butter on twitter and he's got like a butter coffee truck all sorts of different flavors and shit he shows up at crossfit events those crossfit guys are junkies for that butter coffee think bulletproof coffee with mct oil in it so take decided to set up a truck and just roll buried his first event this week so you need to go to the arnold classic
yeah but you know last thing you want to do is take a fucking truck all the way to ohio specially in march march in ohio son you might get fucked michael ugly on you it could easily snow like a bitch in march right yeah oh yeah it's risky in march time back when you were making the videos where that dude he took his shirt off and you made a video about it like he took a shit rough in the audience dancing around over that guy he was hammered and then he gay big hug and then it was so i mean ridiculously hammered and then after the show we found in the parking lot blood all over his face no show about somebody beat the shit out of him and it was like zero degrees out were like well you take care buddy in the car that's a fucking normal friday night for that dude probably totally as telling you the story there pulling a two thousand mah
yeah sometimes yeah fucking hit me with a bat oh shit fuck damn it can you hear me in the back on the ice on you an extra bat an extra jacket what the fuck guy i'll tell you what that show friday night that we did was i was and i place i never been the joint yeah that was great to join the audience was amazing that you know because we've been getting lately is just off the charts there so happy it's like such friendly happy group overwhelmingly so amazing i don't know how we ever pulled it off but it's amazing and the joint is probably one of the best ones yet is one of the best crowds ever was amazing it was just everybody so far that bar was great apple i had a great time joey and i went to that center bar and we help court for like three hours three hours hanging i'm talking to people you know we max severally got too drunk
you see max drug max everly was throwing asians all results in charge he tortured this little asian jersey girl she was half asian half irish he was torturing her well sahel torture your mom although he don't give a follow through the jack septic system he's done done he's a great guy though zoom in vegas over yeah we had an awesome time you know it was like there's a lot of good vibes i speak right yeah i took the limo over to the fucking s yeah you did another show after that dirty and it was jay davis was dead jason rouse was there and what is in light show bro it was mine why don't we taking it during the weekend that like real in august and go give me the one thousand two hundred and thirty at twelve why was wow jacket was is what's going on that all these comics were like bobby collins is there right bobby collins did ten some other girl did ten
was smooth and wow so there's like a bunch of real com oh my god there had to be two hundred and fifty in that peach one or fifty people shirts and was locals and this is what they were telling me like people coming back with drinks like people but let me so i went over there and that would be one hundred and fifty people from the joint show no showed up with tickets for me to sign and we told them you're going they were going listen man this is fun an amazing i just got four cocktails made for seventeen dollars didn't we announced on stage that you do and he was drinking some sound was going on i didn't know i didn't know for sure people like he's going to be at the south point yet one over there cj davies sing a bunch thomas i hadn't seen that just hang out drink it well we should do that when we're in town like in between every friday every file why not right i like a one thousand two hundred and thirty spider was asking if you guys are going to go stop by because they i guess they had to show at the other club at the hard rock the same night vinyl at the uh
the hard rock or illinois diced it yeah oh that's hilarious though they were in the same places us and they were seeing if you wanted to come before or after i think was before he was apparently his son was playing he wanted to come watch the sons band after my show we you know we got mobbed by people and we had uh you know justin was with us so i had some friends so he's a like every weekend right i think sir while someone sent powerful mazing powerful bicycle how many comics with that like a lot of guys came up and said hello to joe laude guys i recognize and i didn't know the names well you know what if vegas was was i really smoothly run though be a real comedy scene there i mean it doesn't make sense that wouldn't be you deal all these tourists that are coming in from out of town on a regular basis it doesn't have to the on the strip if you have one good spot like think of like that steak joint brazilian place we go to texas de brazil the chew husker
this is nowhere near the strip of its way the fuck out there somewhere in another you know part of it's not near the casinos but but he goes there he goes there 'cause it's good 'cause they know it's there and it's good an you know there's people in town in vegas they're always looking to do something the casinos would like to keep the shows in the casinos and it's great to the joint mean we had that was perfect for us but like for like the local comics like this should be a few comedy clubs in vegas it seems like you could have like a real local scene in vegas i can't believe this is embarrassing this is and i hate to say this 'cause people got them we walked past brad garrett winning on a break nobody goes right we're not going to i don't know no i shouldn't say that because not talkin dom around he likes it yeah a lot that's why but it's i don't know why don't we go was because were tutored is owners i don't know i think that he just likes a certain style and you know i don't i i think i don't want to did he like these yes ma'am but
no when i see it i'm like like i never even i think i always assume them to do it in the ladla comedy club hit me up when i was in vegas thing if we wanted to go over there late night and do a spot you know with the la comic closes at bally's i guess so there is a few comic yes this is little actually a lot of them have like would they have like roseanne barr there every night has roseanne bought it ok let me ask you this how does that work how does some and do like the same town every night like five six nights a week vegas for years and he shows up on monday have new people new people but how do you not go crazy because it's fucking vegas and as the hot this shit like the best party yeah yeah yeah but let me talk some best food sweetie pie if you live there it's like we might lose your mind this got there's a there's a void in that town you know there's a lot of good people that live in vegas and is a lot of fun in vegas but this is devil
is in vegas you know he does we all know he does he and if you live there if you were there you live there why don't know brian i don't know the devil has the baddest bitches jose i'm fifty years a lot of fun in vegas that uh she is i'm still alive i might want to go to vegas you get old you do you want to do monday through saturday first well i wouldn't stay in the casino job course i live forty five minutes i'll let i would not be in my life at all but like my head roseanne barr she's yeah she lives in vegas now no i guess you commute to stays i don't know what the one day a week no she just well we fudging masada the whole week yeah monday who she does the eight hundred o'clock show then when the clocks on a lineup comes in and they do it no shit yes a lot of people like that do just change it to ten you know bobby couldn't make it work it takes a certain comic to make it work the hotel has to get behind you vegas ain't what it used to be dog it's not you know i read an article at the ufc brings how much money per week and as a vegas or what
i don't know knowing knowledge there i wrote a man's and and it's like wow yeah yeah i see it i see the concessions i can do a cheerleading competition smoke a lot when the brass game does that type of stuff this is the you website yeah that's one of the reasons why it's so disgusting that's illegal in new york because they would make so much money from having a u s either it would generate so much revenue for the city it would be fantastic and the fact that these dirty unions have kept it out for that long it's because you will see it might as well go disclosure the nice for five bucks a minute all my could we go to the prom first we're going to stick with lobster on it also a lot of the best we should all over are you kidding me the web's would you when we get out of that mother u s c eleven o'clock because the u of c ends at one yeah the walking out of the garden at one fucking thirty it's like walking into your oyster your oyster
of life you know everything is open you get any have you get chinese cuban you get a town in the bronx you get congealed salad you can get whatever the you want at one thirty in the morning and we don't have to look at the state would go to chinatown with it looks really a clam how many spots are there in la where you could pull it out this one in the morning is a few name santana's stamp that they have done is open till two yeah i was a little too circle to believe they do that i'm pretty sure i got a stake there are no one night after the comic store really late it was kind damn delicious published with the side of pasta so good google emmu dance hannah is just like one of those legit old school restaurants from the east coast that exists in california somehow or another and this is a few places like that i'm going to say whatever place existing carefully michael blvd sensational oh my god to say it i would i i just was at the spot a couple weeks ago one of my favorite clubs in the country the san jose improv and
yeah i love that place it's down the block from the hotel everything's original joes you got mother fucking original joes for lunch and you go and then you get the house silent with the spaghetti meat i can't even leave the meatball josh is normal so much i get so scared i just get the fucking regular ragu sauce now no bread no butter and the house salad they took a fucking hell of a steak too they gotta charge roper oil grill char oh girl you know use real wood charcoal they don't fuck around the way it is with those fucking tuxedos at original joe since eighty motherfucking five in the tabular when you start that one the tenderloin never been to that one off it was good just burnt down they jewish lightning that fucking son in the cap back open something happened i don't know
did san francisco last week i was in town tremendous forgot myself another tremendous food there yeah you love that one hello every time you take me to that hill to eat pasta with some donuts yeah that's right now we're going to this place at cal zones calzones in columbus oh my god we go there we go there and that's another that's a legit place that's a legit place yeah there's another place down the street we got video of tommy buns he was hanson sierra was dancing music and you came in it was you mean security remember that what's that in place so that we go to that the like the really call yeah when danny yeah that's well so i got a sketchy area where we went outside we had some asian food after the shell and as we left we we were outside the door and they have aquarium drive by phil with rippers that's correct remember that we got a video of one of the whole truck it's on youtube somewhere this dick truck pulled up with like this is the craziest thing i've ever seen in my life and the cops
pull up aside and hit the lights to everybody sit down sit down 'cause they only allowed to dance when the when the trucks not move in there so they had seeped all set up to where so it it's like a poll and is like some seeds i like little tiny seats with seatbelts and the fucking cop would pull up and hit the lights go sit out soon this girls dancing on a pole in the back of a fucking i could think of was imagining life from their eyes your naked and your driving around like bait like you're like like their choice thing there chumming the whole city to try to get them into this club and they're doing it by putting bait in a box that's what people been reduced to like a woman in the smallest amount of clothes legally possible with ridiculous shoes that you know she can't run good in and is dance around on a poll asking you to come with her it's crazy is ridiculous
can fish tank full of chicks i i went to the playboy mansion i got to see all his like rare birds and they have like he has he's like the largest collector of rare birds ever yeah and you walk in i don't know if it's the number one but maybe in california or whatever is on the block but when you walk in through these birds are that don't even look like real birds like i was thinking like i haven't even seen that before like in a book or a magazine or on tv so when you saw it in person it just seemed like it was fake it was awesome he is the coolest animals like monkeys collections that i've ever seen here's these monkeys that look like old men that just come up in order and have that these beards and like these it doesn't look like a like an exam rise city freak you out of their of their like locked in a little cage no because it human
longest cages like like it was like having a cage be like the size of like a football field how many acres is i do have a it was a lot because i i got like the full tour like most times you go to the playboy mansion you have like look there it's like sectioned off in your like at the small piece of it i was there with friends of the family the girl i was with her mom was married to hugh in the seventies so she's just like let me show you around this is so i got to go eight i i know you think i saw it all i mean i walk for long peers at times on these paths where they would have like these little benches like blow job stations and then got another mile down the cost of managing the place to be expensive as to keep up get a staff about a hundred two hundred people there all the time i don't know two hundred people there's a lot you imagine you had to pay one hundred people and it to run your house yeah that's that's crazy
joan rivers have some shit like that i don't know joan rivers but you know at the end of the day that place to calmly store they should just pick those places up and put them together so people could see that for centuries when the world ends is it 'cause that's one of the most interesting places in the world fuck disneyland would fucking rides and mickey mouse demention how many cocks were really suck there how many dreams were broken there how many women left there going i'm done but i'm saying like i just sucked eleven cox at crabs about club medea i'm done and he put me in the magazine what really happened in that because that's completely different than being on the east coast yeah that's hard that's a fucking den of broken
you know it was the coolest thing was how many older playmates were there yeah they were the coolest girls in the really cute i was sitting in the game room smoking weed on that what i mean i don't know if this is it i was up there is that there's a respect the man i mean like that there's is rick rick our room that the the floors made out of like a mattress so like it you walk in and something your feet feel weird like what do you want to choose yeah yeah great staff and it was fucking to get staff with the carpets just doesn't look like carpet it's actually a mattress so you just sit down anyway there was like these ladies that come out of nowhere and they were beautiful coat like the most beautiful cougars old i would say two thousand five hundred and forty eight and they would just come up and like hey guys how's it going modified join you and you're just like that
this chick hot chick today is like that part of their occupation to sort of mingle and well it was july fourth so i think it's more of just like all the other yeah bobby benton all those chicks with playmates pro well she really why we better play man i think yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah is she still doing comedy no barbie bent and from the centerpiece the brunette when we were who am i thinking of barbie with the van that it from the time we still that used to do that we'd room on fucking vermon to hold down the yellow car with the yellow message advancement but they put the vein from a bicep right writing the it instead of a tattoo this bitch had a big old yolk vein like he had been doing fucking cry which is not bunches but flies all apple on the back machine whatever the fuck it is i
i think i was going to see felicia michaels it was like a bunch of white people actually some my stomach i was actively this felicia go there no i don't think she goes i think she's been that apart like for parties like all of how she doing she don't understand she's doing whatever he said she was a fun check my yeah they're all everybody's doing good but that paper that place is very interesting like i went there with a complete different like did the comedy for tom like this day years ago on friday so yeah and i go and hang out and some of it i can't why it's not my cup of tea you know it's not really going to suck my dick if you're not you're going to walk around naked and talk to me like that but i'm saying period but these these savages were you know and it would beep when you looking at him and you feel bad but they're having a great time and they have like people who come up there with the illusion that they're going to meet playmates right like
bad guys in kelowna on the shit polyester suits three piece the shoes it's really it was weird but when you look at that place you go what really went on well what's interesting to me is if i think about it the playboy mansion is that it's sort of like the last it's sort of a house like that of a i have it's not gonna exist anymore i think it's gonna be a museum because when i was one that's really i smelled very like i could see this being an yeah yeah yeah you cannot then that's not disrespectful well i think that don't well i mean maybe someone could do something like that in the future where they could create like a whole destination but that's a destiny and it's not just the house it's not just the business like would be like oh there's the strikeforce fights this weekend at the playboy mansion like they had fights there we went to watch fights there they had they had more than one mixed martial arts event there i met hefner's kids though
and his sons and i think they're going to take a i mean hey look like young versions of him like i see them just stepping and being like fucking pimps well not even make as he had grown them you know why wouldn't you want to keep that business in the family it's a iconic name you know it's like you can't go wrong with good management with the whole playboy thing the craze just licensing those tattoos when i lived in boulder there was a girl in boulder who there was a limb in boulder at all times it said half number one on it and there was a white stretch limo and they had a black driver and the chick was blonde and her claim to fame was and she was his daughter real she the university of colorado drove every winter fucking lemma wow one slash two one limo f1 limo wow when was coke she did not that's what i mean how many people i know i know like james kahn was associate like i watched that movie was on about a month ago that stupid movie twenty one what was that movie that the girl got killed eric rob
play the creepy boyfriend yeah tell you what i know and i'm sorry there was a come on guys what the eight she was a playmate one thousand nine hundred and eighty one sharon i know eric roberts played killer did nineteen what nineteen whether she was the playmate ladies starry starry jesus christ fucking from harvard stupid rainy was a movie with eric roberts was creepy as fuck and he played the boy fade discovers are in canada brings it to the my research is like fifteen isn't change when you see a guy like eric roberts that you see me starts out pope of greenwich village is in this fucking unbelievable movie with mickey roarke like just an unbuilt still to this day holds up then one day is on celebrity rehab you know everything in between is like some karate movies and shit and you know for whatever reason like he vanish is and then has to come back not just dog
it's blowing up right now who's got his daughter that the chicken actress yeah the door who was the daughter on star eighty right there wow i don't even believe i've seen this movie yeah he was creepy at the end he fucking gets these benches who's making weight lifting equipment but he also the real business he was making sex equipment and he takes her over there he sit sit down he fucking ties or he rips her legs up i mean he just destroy he was a creepy mother finally shot himself fucking in the move character shop cell two do they did two movies that star rating with this broad they did a different one with the guy from general hospital now the older guy i married on general off tom chaplin
dog but he says the monologue what he says to mickey rourke when he was what happened here he goes she left me on why and he goes what's wrong with you he goes you know we've only just breaks it down because sometimes they try to embarrass you and you gotta back andaman you look him in the face and tell him you don't look at nobody you don't say goodnight to nobody that whole little monologue did that again very interesting is excellent excellent he was a really really good actor it's weird when you see him like one day and that the karate movie remember this shit he played a karate messages back festivals nachman calls for satisfying is ready for this i just saw the mother fucking audition about eight weeks ago really understand for what additionally for coastal like me alright so that doesn't make any sense understand how does a guy who's that talented and he was in that um sylvester stallone movie recently uh
he was in the the first one what is the one with radical toward the expendables yeah yeah yeah yeah he was in that wasn't me now is it is yeah well yeah i'm pretty sure he was the bad guy he was fucking excellent guy can act his ass off and his sister don't like him consistency i know that when he was when they were doing who's daughter is the chick on blow the little girl and blow what's the movie remember that little girl and she want to be at disney star she's a disney store look her up bread bread man she's like some disney chick but supposing when they shoot at the fuckin studios they have security there he can't come on the set as she is julia roberts niece so julia roberts really like fucking with security honor and stuff because she they try to keep her away from him i don't know the whole story i'm just telling you what i heard second hand when she shoots movies or a tv shows there's something going on that i don't know exactly what the fuck that thing is
she's really cute the kid she was too cute girl and blow he tells he's going to meet her at the end the whole thing well when he was on that celebrity rehab was very strange just didn't make any that he was there like it seemed like he just he's a break didn't didn't really emma roberts emma roberts emma roberts she's real cute right young yeah gotta be safe whenever someone go on a rehab for weed they really almost like need like a behavioral break the needle yeah know you going to rehab for life you're off the rails for everything you said you know if you really if you going to a rehab for i mean it's like a huge i need to go somewhere do you think do you think there's certain that you could going to rehab for we like people like you know like ralphie may used to be at his prime where he would be like seriously smoking two pounds away today or something a perfect example you know and no disrespect to ralphie but look at him and so
that's obviously a very impulsive person and that's where i think that it's probably you're not dealing with just the weed self you deal with life in general like this is cute look we're all impulsive stay comedians some most impulsive people there's something about type person that thinks to say the some of the shit that we say like the way your brain works this seems like an instinct for us to just be wacky you know it's so when you get a guy that like is a stand up comedian and then you find out he's a gambling addict it's never a shock it's never a shock when they are you know you find out they're blown all their money betting on sports like its norm macdonald or no they're blowing all their money on kobe yeah like years or for me how 'bout i locked myself in my house and i play quake for twelve hours a day i'm a fucking idiot you know it's the same thing it's like we get impulsive we have this like almost uncontrollable desire i would be
sitting around i was like i would be sitting around doing something else and all i could think of was getting back to my computer my god but get online and play some quake and everything will be ok loading myself up caffeine it why does it's crazy minnick media i could kind of understand comedians being caught up in almost any like nutty impulse like that marijuana really they go to rehab for that you're going to rehab for life son that's what you do in life itself is just too slippery right now they need to break which is understandable you know i need to go to rehab for jack daniels i think are you really going to bed right now i mean i mean not for drinking in general but like i try not to drink jack daniels now and it's like i miss it so much it's so hard not to do i have never drink jack now my whole entire life except for like less what seven
coincidentally the last year of your life you've been fall in and out of control going out layers scared style son for this you you listen a sweet home alabama your car drive off a cliff and what's the number seven mean in the jack daniels the lucky seven or some shit like that it says i don't know this is like old seven it's probably like their seventh version of it that they made if i had a gas let's find out jack daniels old number seven seven ingredient example for about four months i knew it wasn't for me yeah i i can i can for five months and i was like fuck you i don't trust my i'm gonna give my money to some fucking idiot odina thursday at five hundred o'clock over five fucking dudes shooting that is not happening the rest of my fucking life or baseball or fucking baskets or anything that was to i love going like santa anita park and pasadena
i take forty dollars with me i go i got a hot dog i got a beer once the the house is gone i get in my fucking car and i go home do you say a powdered being pattered beer beer they sell yet those stadiums we think they sell your fucking trap be and that's why i got a fucking headache for three days you a football game where you have seen that you drink three beers wait till the fucking headache you get the next day yeah you know it's probably be it yes that was real would that be having powder beer i'm telling you i gave you yeah this is a weird thing this jack daniels thing because apparently the old seven is the original recipe i don't get it why are they called seven says old number seven known as ingredients also known as black label this is the original jack daniels all you know what it is because there's a bunch of different jacks one two three four five six six different there's silver select
green label tennessee honey singh barrel gentle when jack like that an old seven just like six chuck fucking the dells everybody there is tough during one weekly and i thought the circle i don't fuck with none of those cock suckers and i'll fuck you out you believe that bro i really have not drank jack daniels those new years in nineteen eighty we got a big bottle in the other room boy i had some of it this weekend who do you got into licious yeah jack giant is in a can of coke you fucking taking me for italian joey diaz i do some of our best comedy sets when i have a little jack daniels in my system i'm not bullshit even smell it biggest fucking smell in vegas friday night i had like through three shots before i went onstage she brought the bottle back i see that there was light and you motherfuckers drinking those are diet cokes listen
it smell 'em in the end that crowd though was so fun yeah it was fun it was so much good stuff in the air at that at that show that was such a positive show man that was a great show and those people that came out listen man that you are as c expo far would have fucked up my ankle the gun and walked around yeah you're a little bit yeah i'm good now the next day it was good something that morning i twisted it something with these fucking adidas where the high tops no more than fucking hurt but the next day i was fine but i would have gone to great little thing yeah it's a great little show you get to meet you can roll with people you pay ten thousand dollars you could roll with frank may have seminars at the same time if you were teaching things it'll go see what is the name of one to do quote when you were a kid you don't get to play football guys i body yeah and you never get to talk to you either like you do all these two days with rhonda rowsey and all eighteen of those points but yeah it's a great dish after you're cute
did you hang and talk to people you want to eat is much as i could they had a i was doing this thing for the twenty year reunion of or the twenty year anniversary of the usa this a document or they don so they had to rush me up to this studio that they had set up their interviewed me for like an hour before the way and then we had to rush back to mc the wayans and did the wayans fuckin lands were in the arena it was insane the winds were in the mandalay bay convention center and it was fucking gigantic it was the event center mentally dave answer with i usually do the you have say so the wayans were modest yeah i know it was like ten thousand people at the weigh ins and when anderson silva and weidman gone on stage they when nuts like you could feel this crazy electricity in the air you know and there was all these brazilians or boone when wyman came out all these people were cheering for anderson and you hear all these accolades you her body calling including
especially me calling him the greatest fighter in the history of the sport and how long was that kiss for like couple minutes at to you know just anderson like walked up to him and weidman walked up closer to anderson and then anderson walked closer to him and then they were face to face and neither one of 'em budged so they just touched faces and then wide men as they backed away wyoming goes i'm not scared you man i'm scared you tomorrow night i see you tomorrow night he goes i'm not scared of you scared of a man he really wasn't and that was the difference on saturday night he really wasn't scared of him he knocked him the fuck it's crazy it was crazy to watch like anderson fucked around like he normally does and like he more so than he normally does he humiliates guys with that it's a real tactic but you gotta app absolutely know what your opponent and i can't do i mean maybe he
could have gotten away with that with like a lesser guy or a guy who's like easily be fuddled but one of the they did weidman's campus they had people imitate that they had people like taught him people spar with him and like pretend they were falling down and up their hands in poker face out and and due and potshot in shit and doing all the stuff that anderson always does 'cause he gets you in like a defensive shell he gets you frozen up 'cause he moves really fast and one of his time dicks is he taught you a little bit and then blast on you he'll blast can you give me his he could cover distance like deceptively fast so he's really good at like closing the distance of crack and it's and sometimes you can knock me out and sometimes like the v well for shot or sometimes you just lights you up like first a few exchanges with chris leban isleta mop him up him up again before he eventually stopped him that mean the anderson's a fucking tremendous talent but that open up their hands you leave your
self so vulnerable that even a tremendous talent like him can get knocked the fuck out and that's one of the it's like big lessons of saturday night big lesson is lots everybody's vulnerable even the best guys are human beings and a human being is vulnerable the huh ideas and not get hit and it doesn't matter who the human being is if their skill levels really high it doesn't prevent them from being damaged by a solid punch every he gets fucked up by a solid shot everybody who gets kicked in the head goes to sleep you get weed kicked in the head you going night night it happens to everybody it happens to best people in the world and that was like a big lesson saturday night the auditory the arena just shut the fuck up then was weird as the room i was in stop to his weird stopped yeah i'm just stopped and it was you know what it's good for everybody now now they start from scratch and this is gonna be interesting whether they're trying to set up the rematch for
the what the word is online for the new year show which is december 28th which would be practice at desk joey diaz do you know what the hype i guarantee you in a rematch anderson silva is going to dot his eyes as across his team since first knockout though he's never been no yeah it's entire where people usually get the afternoon maybe they become vulnerable and they become human beings and not only that the reality is if you get knocked out it's easier you get locked out again and who knows what's happened in training mean who knows he's sparring with like really high level guys and training on a regular basis you know he's fine with with machida with phasia like there's a lot of those black house guys that are fucking badass beasts you know like who knows who's tagging him in the gym especially when he's doing long hard rounds so
everyone turns thirty eight at one point in their life and anderson silva's thirty eight so you have to think about that but you don't want when i was growing up it was thirty five dave one feels thirty five but we both discussed this look at our border is forty two how 'bout yeah how about bernard hopkins forty after e that's why i was talking about it but not i think anderson's got three three more good good food battles left or now with that and you know what they are more if he fights smart let me type and then before he got knocked out he was look in lightning fast he was slamming leg kicks in he avoided being submitted he got back up to his feet he got out of a heel hook and got back up to his feet it's not like anderson look bad but what did was he does what he does that that taunting thing i mean when he knocks a guy out because of it it's awesome it looks great but when you get knocked out man it's like that nost commercial you know that nass commercial with the guy does these flip
kicks go fly and the other guy just blast him on a chain just caught him yeah boom that's some a reason why that's in a commercial that whole scene plays on the commercial as like sweet justice like just to the guy who taunts and that's why the whole crowd was booing anderson booing anderson with anderson got knocked out i mean that that's weird it's to put it to a natural reaction that they had so no one told them that they had to boo but there was a lot of people booing there a tremendous amount of people booing though this fighter in history because he got caught and uh that is fascinating they like they felt he let them down because he got knocked out doing something stupid and they'll yeah what did you do mad boo meanwhile what happened to him and he just lost the title i mean you made an ass load of money but he just lost the title in devastating fashion and people have no empathy
like better boo boo people don't give a fuck people don't give a spot cold realities of life yeah that's whole motherfucking realities alive dog and once the envelope sounds the glam is gone the pod have you seen unfortunately though that sucks man that sucks that sucks about people that say man i saw it with my mother i start with one thousand so you would never do that not why would i mean if you if you were there in the audience and you saw anything go down you imagine the world without home heartbroken i would never boom he's still the fuck i know what happened yeah as a fan you know with the fuck toyota around you know i'm the same way fucking around when i'm walking around bryant not only my fucking around when you're walking around pay fucking attention you go to airport and you put your shit online the people in front of you and you're like very fucking attention yes i don't like that shit but if you fucking
do it and you pull it off at space spectacular but you wonder if you look for it or if or when he fought fucking damian maia if you live by the sword you die by the fucking short that's why it's called karma right before that i did that's the first time i watched the fight i don't want to end even if even if fucking frankie with an ac raffaelle out all avera i would have said listen let him again let him go six or seven rounds that was a great fight right to fight well that was a great there's a great and fight it was a great night of fire oh it was a fart at night of fights one of the most exciting nights of fights ever every jujitsu guy is lighting a fucking candle for roger gracie right now i don't know whatever there yeah i don't expect that for whatever reason being the mma game is nothing like his gymnastics digits against often chain he should just go back to fight jiu jitsu tournaments man it's like it's easy how about swanson oh my god damn oh my god that was insane that was the best
that kids ever looked accuracy was insane try to cartwheel care is he did it he went to do an uppercut yeah and he went from where he faith and he came up with another guy he did something very beautiful yeah he was doing a lot of yeah he says like download a full shift his really crafty ways very angry very creative and unpredictable was filling speak slow and kicks high does a lot of weird shit you want sixty five brother noise forty five he's one hundred and forty five that adds a complete different just let's just put him up against the due to one of the match in henderson in minneapolis tennis let's do it right there that's a hell of a fight would be a great that's a fire right there well i would like to see a rematch with him and although 'cause you know he thought although and got caught with a flying knee like a double may maybe like ten seconds into the fight was very quick all the all the shut up and nail them on the forehead with flying knee cut him open moves nasty i mean you know he didn't get a chance to get into the fight he just got caught and i think that he's a
way better fighter now than he was then i think would be really interesting after watching him fight seaver like god damn man he had seaver idea he lives see those combinations are insane because he was so accurate like the ask combination that he knocked him out with he hit him like three or four ridiculously accurate shots while you know the chaos going on a scramble in any scrambling after he's catching him on the jaw i was a great fight was a lot of great fights man lot of great fights two people didn't give him credit kennedy enough credit for that fight not they even had his back he took him down then how does back and was slamming him in the face and i was like what the fuck is going on skin punch stuff that's going on man jujitsu one thing but you just do with punches to the face by a guy who is a black belt in jiu jitsu che just the whole game like you might know he might be better than tim kennedy at straight jiu jitsu they had a regular jujitsu jitsu match but kennedy's got a
good enough to just so that he could hang he can defend himself like he's not scared to grapple with like really high level guys any strong as shit but kennedy he is also a boxer he can hit hard when he gets it to the ground he's real mixed martial arts skills and he gives the ground health thump you with punches and so the guy like roger he's not really quite a complete i'm a fighter yet he's just as brilliant jujitsu guy was entering into mma and there's is like kennedy out there though as long as they're hitting you in the face like you're not going to submit him it's just a complete different ballgame you're all dizzy and shit your face is puffy and you can't see any alright i that's the reality of getting punched in the face like seeing it when guys like really good at jujitsu and i see come to me and there's getting fucked up just it kind of bothers me because i feel like you know they're not ready yet you should have if you're going to really enter to ma it must be a long term proposition and you should look at it as like what are your strengths your strength
it's ok what's your weakness your week now just stand up when you gotta fix that you got to fix that first you can't think about getting in there unless you could fight in a kickboxing match 'cause you to be going right away to some of the highest level guys in the world 'cause you're hot drag racing they take it like that and they don't like they don't like move the long slow fight you guys because of his name pretty quickly and because of his reputation and you just so where is the reality of his striking is is when the strike in a few years you know you need many years on the books before you go and try quitting i like lyoto machida or something like that you just need a lot of years in books you have to get him because he i will write you up he's going to hit you he's going to pot shot you and you're going to crack you and you're not going to stop him and he's going to hit you here four times like that and he's going to knock you out to sneaky game the striking game striking games different game some guys just adapt real quick
and dan henderson type dudes are like almost right away within a couple of years that dangerous fuck but some this is never quite get the hang of got it real fucking quick real planet picked instant when you see it you see what is jitsu guys are real jiu jitsu guy his striking is very slow sometimes yeah it's in you saying wow how is he in the fucking the octagon but maybe you know they know something i don't maybe you went so sad know something i don't know yeah well i think we're dealing with a new era of mixed martial arts i don't think people were ever going to try there's that although jump flying knee watch this boom that's like the first exchange of the fight die well flying needs in the face was insane caught him i'm real bad over his eyebrow yikes yeah i mean but that's one of those things you said to me anybody who gets hit by that that's the reality and we you know a lot of great guys don't get hit like that
but if they did that's what would happen you know it's can't avoid that that was a big lesson so important lesson saturday night important lesson for martial artist 'cause people like to think that 'cause it guys really good we can somehow another magically take punishment better not really so it's a fucking less for everybody yeah that's a lesson for everything in life and karma is a mother fucker you see it in april you see it in basketball sometimes you'll see a team that's got a reputation to fast break and all of a sudden this team that nobody's talking about they fast break they going to finals and the coaches say fast breaking and the team that's been fast breaking mother fuckers they don't have to execute but they forget how to defend the fast break and they fuck you loose it happens all the time in different type of sport in different situations man with a rematch is going to be absolutely fest being fascinating to see what's going to happen to rematch with weidman in anderson silva will be the greatest we match in the history of the ufc no doubt about it
everybody's going to want to know if weidman can do it again and one is going to want to know how is anderson going to recover that's going to be fascinating as fuck bad well that's gonna be crazy try i can't write out a guy like and this is so i stand right there with you watching ten seventeen fights in the three or two before that on you tube whatever you can't write this guy you cannot write in mine is not but then how however however we seen it with a lot of other fighters age takes whatever you want the money the children you know it it's all new wage i can't wait to picture i good to gusterson against jon jones the fucking the will never look at that fight those are two monsters that's two monsters yeah well so one of the things about a guy like anderson were comparing him to a god bernard hopkins is ten years older than him watch out bernard fights bernard hopkins is a brilliant defensive fighter brilliant you very rarely see bernard hopkins get clipped
you know and when he gets clipped his boxing is good enough that he knows how to go into a shell he knows how to move he knows to give you angles and he gets away with shit he's gotta good jennie gets away with shit and one of the reasons why you gotta good chance is he hasn't in a beating ever is never in the meeting this entire career bernard hopkins like he kept the skills pass any of the fighters of his prime about his fight with roy jones junior jr roy jones junior they duked it out once and roy feed him but when they do did a second time bernard hopkins bay good just like box them box box them up because bernards skills had deteriorated like roy's reflexes like roy's bills were so reflex based he was so speed and reflex based in my opinion he is the scariest boxer that you would ever have compete against mean
tyson was ferocious and terrifying so i shouldn't say he was a sick man it was close susie abs i was he actually a line in the and i'm not a song this is a welcome to the new world the new mike tyson's roy jones that was roy jones is just knocking everyone silly he didn't do it the same way that tyson did he did it with just like speed and ridiculous combinations insane accuracy he this move in a way that other dudes couldn't move like if you go back on much like his highlight reels damn he was amazing but he not like this weird style with your hands down and he'd throw a lot of jabs he threw like a leaping left hook but he was so fast with it if we just catch guys on a chin he would lie to me with it he threw a lot of lead right hands he had like different style in his style is based on his ability to cover ground and his accuracy and
losing started getting older and started getting hit and slowed down that style was like now actually a detriment and so he stop being offensive like one of the most disheartening heartening things about watching roy jones junior fight now is not there still fighting is it is not hurting anybody i can you watch a fight is she has to be much more defensive he's been knocked a few times now so now it's like his boy boxing is almost like he's he's boxing he's trying to win but he's also trying to knock it knocked out how old is he to believe is forty now the ceo's money i think yeah cnn and make that's why it is that the word is there was an article about some tax issues and some you know i could i would imagine that he thinks that there's some good money form in mma and at his age all the fights that he's been in the told that takes on your body his boxing skills are so far above the
bridge mma fighter that it would be kind of interesting especially if you guy like roy jones junior little tiny gloves think i have pastillas regular glass you know i mean imagine give me pacquiao little mma gloves and imagine how quick is punching you in the face and can you even see it coming i mean how do you stop that there's like four pounces on them as a close to what is it six or eight he's wearing regular basis that's a big difference man those little time knuckle gloves as a big difference god manny pacquiao got an mma to teach him a lesson some some butterfly guard house brawl how to get back to your feet it's work with them on that for a couple of years and set him loose how old is manny now good question please write thirty six manny pacquiao
how old is manual paki owl hey don't be a dick would you like me to search the web for yes searching the web for handled as many to quell pacquiao paquillo what the fuck he was born december 17th he's thirty four door a young man to know is not know he's now not in the world of boxing the world of boxing is a different world there's only a few bernard hopkins as a matter of fact he's the only one that i can even think of there's no one else that's managed to keep their career going that deep into their 40s no one in the world boxing skills dirty fool what time is he hasn't taken a lot of bc he yeah yeah he said he's been some wars and that knock out the one that does not count as a that's a career changer it's a career change because he ran into a telephone pole right hand i mean literally ran into it so with him movement forward really fast an market
catching him on the button and they had two wars before that when they dropped each other so the those guys have gone through those fights and then the fight he los with bradley that wasn't a war but it was a tough fight you know but if you go like back to la some of his fights before then you know he had been in some crazy fights mean even though he's still winning and looking spectacular what some wild exchanges ready for yeah and you know who not mean there was also like rampant speculation of performance enhancing substances i don't know if that's we're not you know there's always the question are they when fighters do those things it's like are they going to tin you to do them how are they going to like regulate it how how do they like when you hit like really high peaks like performance enhancing drug peaks the real issue is if they
we're doing something illegal how are they going to maintain that level and will do maintain that level it's an artificial level so it's like you're going to go up so downs you gotta take time off in between doing it and you gotta make sure you catch it right and sometimes they don't and when they die don't you know you'll see like real inconsistencies in there before once you see them when they look absolutely sensational and then you see them when there in this like low spot in between cycles who's not doing drugs could you please tell me it's a good question who's not doing drugs good question i think a lot of fighters aren't doing drugs i know bj penn i don't say i know but i'm pretty sure i mean i don't think he would lie about that that's part of like his whole honor with the whole fight game and john which i think is another one only john fitch is ever done anything i personally talk sing about it and he said he would never be able to live it himself if he knew that he got there as he was doing something he was using something that dude got really far with just like fucking grittiness and toughness and will
you know without any enhancement to his body artificial but there's a lot of folks out there that do do it i don't know how many you wouldn't know unless you're there with them is all speculation 'cause some guys just have sensational genetics some guys just that they just unbelievably robust and they heal quick and then they look great and you would swear that they're on something but then on john shit you know which is part of the weird arguments 'cause like not everybody is born everybody says it's an even playing field but it's not you know if you're fighting you fighting john jones have five foot two there's no evil even playing field so you both weigh two hundred and five yeah i should be fine there's not an even playing field you're crazy has a super body you can't even have a chance it's not even and there's nothing you can do by the way could take all the steroids in the world you're never going to beat jon jones he said the mechanic advantage of his frame and his athleticism the app
this guy is never going to be able to fuck with that you figure like every actor over fifty right now in hollywood is shooting fucking shit musicians on that or doing one thousand six hundred and seventy well most of the guys i think using the cream they use you see those those cream adds testosterone cream that would have this product is going to be huge oral spray good yes that's going to be the next one yes apparently the absorption rate is is even better than rubbing it on your skin that trans dermal method is better when you put it in your mouth you spray like i you give yourself a shot in the morning with you like you you know your mouthwash to your mouth wash the give self shot testosterone you're off on your way to the research is a creamy after i'm all over your whole entire body or you rub it on your upper arms and shoulders what if you just measure it is worth it you can bash bay with a yes to help anything maybe but what if you could dumping you accidentally cleaned up your test cream 'cause he thought it was just jizz
and you would waste some of your test cream i've been less your dirty bass and you just not all of yourself and then pull your underwear over it and let it all cook level still inside your ball sack area i've been after being with monistat once a week now because like keep your peer levels like down your leg of what aids what level you have what is monistat first of all is that some women use from easton faction yeah absolutely what is wrong with you because i found out that you can have the guys have used infections and that's why i'd like him to have sex with a girl and she has a yeast infection lot of times you gave it to her because you have don't usually any symptoms so one of the things to get rid of that is put my is that on your dick in her
your balls and around that shit at least once a month but he's like every twenty minutes is the weirdest face joe rogan ninety four was an open mic comic and i was getting the voice and i moved to new york and i would work in the city and i was on the coca madison child support i just couldn't make it all work so part of my angle every morning i get a suit before i went to work in the city i go to fort lee amp right there by the george washington bridge and they just finished stocking the shelves and i have a briefcase like a bookcase like i was a businessman going to the city and i put monistat in there in the cases and monistat and there was something else they like like not the little aspirins but the big aspens and i'd walk over the george washington bridge take it to a boat deck and that's they would buy from you is yeast infection medication that's what they tell you when you brought him shit that i keep bringing it that's the most important thing up in spanish harlem that seven walking over the bridge i got like six thousand and seventy bucks in those days i was an open mic i don't give a fuck
is going over to just not to have money to get a hotdog a bag of weed and do whatever that's how crazy they were the guys would say shows the monistat bring the monistat seven is is an amazing how much people identify with their genitals because there's a thing that women hate more than eight not want more than anything is a lot from this massive generalization has taught myself but is something that a lot of women really do not appreciate and that's the pussy jokes so you could talk about your stinky feet you could talk about a girl stinky feet and talk about a girls breath you can talk little girls but you can't about a girl stinky pussy like them to them then there's a lot of people that don't like when you talk about it even on stage like yes yes yes i've seen someone do a stinky pussy joke and then i've seen women the audience going oh come on just
abset that you put that possibility out there i could but i've never smelt them bad fucking pussy like when people talk about it because he did a lot of coke nose is fucking against that if i pick up a at a bar she's very don't think i'm going to take take a shower it's not gonna help i don't at all yes it will it will help us faction no no but i i don't know if it will go to the bank the girl in the hole full an american in the end i think you said those daisy dukes on oh no one hundred and eleven night and i'm all horned up i got like thirty two dollars i got no blow and drinking budweiser fucking furious am dancing and she's let me touch your ass joe rogan i stick my hand in like this way like full figure oh my god fucking twat and i had that fucking young your hand look at the size of his hands springer this way you know
bruce lee you know i was like my k wires get out of my parents home i could i was dancing with and i could smell my hand only and that was it i met my family will do so that's a bonus indeed you can get off and you know that the smell of fish is actually from old com usually serve it's a really strong fish smell that means there's common side of her that's funny
'cause that's what my balls always smell like fried jerk off and don't wipe up and i was like fish business smelling don't realize i'm pathetic i used the chiles about my own chairs i shoot sheet in my pubes and pull my underwear out by the way i've done that dozens of times in my life too just once shoot if i jerk off i just shoot a load on my pube so i don't even bother cleaning it up i just pulled my underwear up i do this so i'm in the house i'm like as long as it's covered what do i give a fuck from the whole town by myself i don't care who cares that one on the bed and lay down and i don't give a fuck all day yes i thought about it this is my little tropical helmet juice but that was you only time i really ever like i dated check them before i started dating the check was a little proof this was like one thousand nine hundred and twenty and i didn't know what to expect of a pussy that's in small my goodness she took care of it will happen now that what you took care of it was well is good i i wouldn't sniff it and everything and never sniffed nothing it was delicious i
i knew a girl when i was young and they had a problem did you say something no i did not i was too i couldn't i mean those back then when you know when you're in your teenage years and you fooling around you know what the hell you're doing the last thing to do is start bringing things up did you keep eating them oh no there's none of that now those down that going on she didn't want you to do that she knew if something is wrong but it was just like it was one of those things where i bet you know she was the girl i better parents and talk to her about it but she had no idea i've actually thought that's just what they smelled like you know it was it was unfortunate you know she figured it out later though later in life she called me up and told you no no no i hooked up with her later when i was in like in my 20s like once and psycho it's all cleaned up now match if it still is a mess i longest running yeast infection ever she is no one talk to where it was just like always thing that was never discussed
if you just woman looked like chicks sometimes a little woman i i guarantee a smells horrible you know her as i can lose a chip you got yeah peter estamos pharmacy a girl to get sloppy drunk with dirty feet you got a mass of something going on i was go by weight usually because they're i have worst smell because they could be like trying to clean their pussy for like the last five years like the wrong crack yeah but i paid this italian skinny chick that had a little wine come monkey when i was a kid i mean it will angry monkey it didn't stop me from eating as she was skinny slightly she had to be like ninety pounds but her pussy weighed sixty she's one of those chicks and she was italian it smell like fucking is tremendous like mozzarella like by the wet dog when you're inside alan salami on the block from that fucking cuban joint you turn me on that domingos ain't is it and yeah i got the meatball sandwich at the calamari salad where is that is it illegal deli but yeah right up the block from fuck
on ventura yeah domingo's i went there the other day my good restaurants on the street not good astro somebody was telling and ventura by my house like studios that's where invented sushi is that through no right when did you each about a breath a year ago your bottom should that they invent not even the people don't this taco bell invents more shit people such a loopers and the lupus suranga mexicans like what the fuck are they talking about so you never know anymore no issue was invented on van nuys yeah what's what taco bell doing commercials where they have chefs pretending the flavor had to be just right like they have a show don't put anything online
but you know that commercial i thought you're going to throw up just a little lady with a mexican woman or yeah smell and vegetables that really i'm going to make sure the saturius finish she smelled the fucking vegetables get out his fucking radiation shit who does that also domino's like have you had domino's with frozen pizza crust with shitty sauce is domino's frozen i don't think frozen only anybody does that but are olive gardens food is frozen is it i think so i think i think what the story is is that they get like like things like almost like a frozen food where they just kind of follow out on noodles like that the whole thing's is frozen fuck outta here do you can't say that unless you know for sure we can get tragically shopper allegedly you gotta stop doing that do it you're going to get people suit google it you can't say the olive garden does that you're the one who's always talking about the fucking olive garden like it's so awesome turning on them this is a classic
case of a relationship gone bad people get used to each other and then they turn on them sometime you are my love and now i hate you the truth behind their school well you read up on that and get back to this later right read it up can't be defaming find american institution jesus christ i said a legend how dare you but i know you in another whole areas bomb probably persei i'd love that place that cuban joint do we go to him with the fucking beans everybody says that chicken with garlic garlic chicken with amazing is you like onions blood a smaller it with cuban style that chicken is so god damn good is the best check it in the world yeah that next baklava factory i know right in there fucking make i mean i've been hearing it from steve simone d'agostino they bring an indian casino brought me a half a meatball sandwich thousands taste this and i was like yeah
is an episode of anthony bordain shell where he goes to this spot in new york city that's been around since the 1800s with the same family and they bring him over getty with gravy and meatballs and so they called grave yeah they called gravy back then it's like old style these coast italian and you look at the spaghetti is yellow and the the sauce is ready let me paul and all my god spread let that lead that's what kills you blue but you gotta eat that five and go for a walk red led think is just tranquilize you hear only what do real guineas put in that sauce let's down to it sausage shown brazil yeah nothing healthy right now what town is natural for the last ten years now real italians because of their heart they eat turkey just a little turkey memo fucked it taste the same goddamn time for your event not dog it taste the same that shit started ten years ago yeah but you think about what red letters they put
beef the fucking sunday sauce yeah there's nothing healthy in there they always had a sunday sauce and this sunday sauce would be just all kinds of shit sausage and meat when you go to sleep after you eat it how many protein grams your body assimilates what thirty grams i don't know so dirty you need one hundred and fifty a day to build muscle that shit is nice naked one thousand crashes like your body crashes down the fat from the port of pork in the fucking breezeway flavored the pork the flavor to flavor in goodfellas yeah oh my god you gotta have the pork the porsche the flavor don't put too much with put too much onions pepper one onion fucking scene makes me hungry everytime when paulie slice and the uh the the the the the garlic with a razor blade a manicure my she listens flooding i when i got what i got for us he gets a breath all of their names because of the rule us about you
if that was really i wonder if that was really how they live in jail they really really did you could get everything that i'm trying to do a special so i'm trying to figure out what it doing this between houston in denver but if i do it in denver i'm going to close to where i did time i camp george webb it's a little camp right by golden co the house of course did i think i want to do my next special in denver yeah i think it's that's a place that i think i'm going to do my next special at a comedy club yeah i think i'm going to do my next one at the comedy works in denver at a bad yeah i haven't talked to wendy about it take it back also one of my favorite places to be i like those small things too that's the problem i want to comedy club but i heard that sometime because you gotta get twenty grand when you're saying oh no when you're saying you would do it where near where you got arrested like where was that i got read
in boulder so i could do the fox theater all this great i could do a bunch of stuff to boulder while schools in session are you fucking kidding me we could go there anytime we want you tell me you want to book a show in boulder up book a show with you tomorrow in boulder man i love it i've been trying to kidnap my wife and bring her back there forever boulder is the shit that's the greatest town on earth mean right up there with alaska that anchorage ak but alaska gets too cold molding the that's incredible did you get any did you know yeah i know i did i think we had somehow over the fishermen guys i have had some crab legs how good was amazing to me you get in a fresh getting fresh alaskan king crab legs gelson's with whole shit eighty two hours and they get here two days later it's really bad ass about alaska is the people though the people are just top notch man they were so fucking cool there could have been cooler
it's just like one of those places you like oh i get it when you just there for a day you know just oh man people are there they are different up here different 'cause they got gotta deal with extreme climate and they all bond together you know we're talking with that was working there was talking about jewel you know is jewel is from alaska and a pair only something happened once where she had cancel a show and then when she came back after she had cancelled it was like really low attendance 'cause people were disappointed or they don't forgive you for stuff like that like they think like do you like you you're a part of a community and if you can or something especially you don't have like the best excuse ever they get upset at you i thought i don't know they said she's now this is like a normal person she's out there just you know everybody knows where houses no one nobody fucks with their normal have you watched liberace movie no on hbo i heard you were doing a bit about it on stage
i didn't hear it i loved it really with some people it's for me he is to see what i seen growing up creepy old bags trying to pick up young fucking guys and do it and how he did it show how he did it how he did it he had a lawyer he had his manager that would just write the people checks gotta give the jewelry back it was brilliant that's funny how he did it the matt damon's character he made him get plastic surgery to look like him watch the fucking that's hilarious watch the fucking movie you're going to die you're going to die it's matt damon in side control with his dick in his mouth who's up oh my god fucking sword listen to me is it really that good just watch them over there that sounds amazing like brokeback night sounds like broke back mountain but it's interesting to see listen man we've heard some fucked up shit living in hollywood
there's a lot of story yes but you never heard of a mother fucker making another mother fucker do plastic surgery you look like you look like him and then through his ass out in game seventy five grant wow so i found out the garden thing i guess it used to be fresher back in the day used to make noodles out in the open so we're going to see it and stuff but the cost of kind of cut certain things down but it's a lot of people are saying always say this sauces were always frozen supposedly have the shits frozen half of it's not in but just like every other restaurant you don't get chick in rocklin everyday she listen if you want low prices you gotta deal with that shit so liberace movie it's called behind the the lab candle opera and and it came out it came out by the two months ago and i didn't watch it i didn't know what it was and i got stuck watching it when i'm like what the fuck this is amazing he was a veterinarian now this
and he got really is a veterinarian he got rid of the guy before him like that he just got rid of am and then he had a bunch of guys and he would just latch onto young guys and touch their leg it was just really you got to just see the fuck but that's the thing with balor gay dude ball or give all the gauges to get twinks these guys are real old school fax breakaway he had a wig he said that he was sucking dick without his wig on cook did take his leg off and we're in the movie matt damon who is disney goes that's the first time you saw me without awake and it's fucking michael do oh my god you gotta just two thousand and thirty minutes i'm watching it i'm watching it tonight it's my favorite new movie and i haven't even seen it that might be my favorite movie and i haven't even seen you know when i first got here in ninety eight the big thing was that book you'll never work in this town again remember
hooker wrote yeah she had done henley in the book and charlie sheen how rude don henley would get five hookers talent to bend over there won't even let the pop get open they will all in downward dog for hours nobody in that group of hookers had carpal tunnel syndrome you understand me right he would make five hookers come over put him down and i'm not trying to be cute hidoko can walk around with a row and put his dick in them pumping twice take it out walk over to that of the hook comfort wise and look at him and got put on hotel california sit out do two more lines are coming up in the hotel california but that was before by ghagra too this is before by agron this is but now it liberace do you do it how do you how do you fucking do it how do you you know how did you twenty four times today and so there shit in there too you could see liberace does the poppers and matt damon won't sniff the papa
so wow this sounds like the best movie ever now how does poppers make you get your dick hard as i thought the poppers like a relaxing butter papa type of job in the gay community i guess when you fuck another guy in the monthly him with a papa and it keeps his dick off i don't know sometimes it was i don't want me i don't i was never into pop what they call what's a little fucking thing email nitrates what does what's brand locker room what is it is that brand is a brand of popper yeah now i've never taken over property lines got one of his buddies right now i've got him in his fucking house his middle name in columbus papa fucking this mother fucker was making six graders sniff that shit it proper speed no it's this joint is this drink and what happened was what time is the miami improv had a hellish condo across the street from it the old miami
probably belong to one of the owners it was where he put his mistresses issue this benefit but i think bought the clubhead on today for the club and i had to bed in the wall i must've eighty women in their time up there which i'm up into put coke rocks in their pussy issue and they would all wake up tight up like jesus and if you get that bed you could still see like a trope we gotta get new rope that i'm up but sometime i wasn't there they call i mean like where are you and i'm i come in la what's going on the like where you at the condo two weeks ago to make known their because weather was there left a mess in there let one thousand poppers oh i'm not like the type of model i snort coke dog don't confuse me with doing fucking poppy and it was a little thing like this and you open it had locker in it it's it would still like locker room or something that's what it was i would sniff it and it get you like huh that was the sixty seconds get the fuck out of that shit supposed to give you like instant brain damage to
no that was what do's berg was claiming that that was a part of you know i shouldn't even that the most controversial podcast we ever do the aids podcast we had this guy peter duesberg and berg is he's profess for the university california berkeley's biologists and he was that hiv doesn't cause aids so we this guy on an tried to have him explain it to us course idiot so we don't know what he's saying is right or wrong he might be completely full of shit he might be making shit up we brian and i have no idea and so but let me get mats tags to if you can get someone to debate him know nobody would debate the dude everybody was telling me i was an asshole for having him on 'cause uh ok i don't know are you sure that is not right he's got biologist at the university california berkeley published biologist who has reese this like peer reviewed research on cancer that everybody respects an he's saying crazy shit like hiv doesn't cause aids the problem is i'm an idiot
so when i go online and i try to read the arguments like whether or not it doesn't doesn't it seems to me that if more people are saying it does then i would go with them is 'cause their scientists right there's a few isro guys like him that's say it's just there taking animal nitrate and making crystal meth and they just crushing their immune system and that's these guys are all getting sick and it's not hiv kill it's party in this column but people say all you he's a homophobe for saying this and it's a terrible thing he's doing it's in justin's and blue is on his hands and people are still dying of a saying that people again hiv 'cause they don't take care of themselves exactly exactly after bottle looks like this is a song i read anybody hears is run you know i'm sorry all that's legal i read a horse yeah you just buy in the stores for what what's the word use it for what he supposed to use it for oh my god
at wholesale gay poppers that's legal hold on son go back listen i was dropping knowledge on donut comes today don't promote these 'cause he's probably killing people but if anybody knows anybody that's a biologist who wants a date date what the fuck introduce berg shown some aids no debate my apologies mister duesberg sir is just a joke i'm a comedian if is any of the show you probably really be mad at me right now but those jokes happen often i wanted debate him but nobody wanted to have any peace as he was too intelligent or because no i think it's like a holocaust denier like if you debate a holocaust denier you actually giving them some form of credit you like buying i'm debating them especially for language it's historian sits down with the holocaust denier like it's such a preposterous idea that even to be connected with it is somehow another promoting it and so it's so distasteful that nobody wants to
talk to a holocaust denier it's you know you don't even give them the time of day holocaust denier yes i did not who says the holocaust didn't happen there's a lot of people like that out there by the way there's a crazy fox that think that the concentration camps and i'm going to get some tweets now would you need to do is it exaggerated the numbers and but what i need to know is why are you concentrating on that why you even trying to doubt that aspect of history i mean if you ever watched videos you see those poor fuckin people being led to the concentration camps there's no doubt horrific shit went on you know that you trying to reduce the numbers it's it's actually four million not six horrible time in history who fucked up about the holocaust it was so recent you when i was a little kid arm where i was i was born in nineteen sixty seven and when i was a little kid i remember that we
for like talking about world war two and we were talking about world war two in the holocaust and it seems so long ago because it was you know time maybe like blake years ago was like one thousand nine hundred and seventy seven or something like that when i was ten and seems like a million years ago but now when i think back of thirty years ago like one thousand nine hundred and seventy seven is like basically thirty years ago that it is so recent it's oh god damn recent like i can remember one thousand nine hundred and seventy seven i don't remember a lot of things i remember my mother had a gold barracuda you know i remember we i lived in san francisco i remember shit i remember some shit from from one thousand nine hundred and seventy seven so that freaks me out that that recently people could have and that that that recently people could have just decided that all jews are evil and were kill 'em all you know how many people did stay
alan kill you know how many people how many people did hitler kill just forty seven with two thousand and forty seven university hitler's artwork no amazing he was really talented art yes like you could have totally just been a famous artist first of all how dare you you never supposed to give credit credit at all to hitler someone in the c qa said if you could fight anyone in history who did they i said hitler so i'll fuck her drop i'd kick the shit out of hitler that's uh i'll bet the house that i'm going to win al doesn't commitment there leaving the vitamins back down who fuck that dude up with stupid mustache look at it's pretty sweet though i mean it was a pretty good artist that is kind of amazing so it was a good artist well you know also a quirk in we showed us on the podcast for member kevorkian was our freaky artists die yet i do not know
i think he did for years you adam adam every other fucking week now you're here now they put him in jail when he was an old man you know the whole things got crazy should be able to you know to be able to die when you want to die man there's an especially if you're in fucking serious pain like why why don't be able to die there's a new hitler's chicken have you heard about that it was chick yeah it's in thailand that just opened up in their kfc is going to assume because it was an old kfc and they uh actually all my god acts hitler fried chicken all my god it's a kfc and they just put hitler's face god that's so crazy what can you do that though have has enough time passed i bet you could sell gang is conference i bet he again things cons fries i think it's become with fuck yeah but i think it's because ovens are involved you know the ovens i didn't figure it out
how do you know they're not frying am that's true yeah he's like deep frying techniques who gives a fuck it's chicken it's not a fucking human it's just not long enough ago you could have genghis khan french fries you could have seen little caesar how 'bout that season they're all evil cunt they are responsible for the death of millions now they're cute little cartoon that's holding up pizza fucking little c do you ever think of that think of little caesar caesar was there's never been a caesar julius caesar never been a caesar didn't have blood in his hands rome you are crazy there fucking savages by the time the fall of the roman empire was going on how see those caesars didn't have like a few deaths on their hands quite a few that is that the hitler checking your chicken fucking crazy yay yeah well hitler didn't walk like that and not see chicken right now what is the say there's a big boost go back to that fucking bottle you had wanted to say it does to you the gay poppers
big jelly still fascinating it's never left he's been pretending to care about hitler fuck about him fuck that mother thinking about this and i'm done with coke but poppers and not out of the question and i talked to my doctor's office is good for my heart that's what it said on the black market gate turns out joe rogan gay dudes have a ten percent healthier heart because of poppers so telcos berg you can shove it up your ass facts are in like like brief but intense at effects there a sudden surge of blood to the heart in the brain so like if you have if you wanted too so if you want answer really important questions in coppers of really important will you marry me hold on one of the ass or let's say if you're in a game shut it how long would you say the game show you through a property the worst advice ever
who is in front of jim carrey is try to guess the price is right really bright red business do apart right now it is a it it's time slowing down it feels like it's time slowing down to like it it it also is a heat flush sometimes like heading this giddiness someone's doing that in tv two to five five minutes and someone's gonna do the anti the way we gonna drugs you see the folks michael jackson should was going on with this trial no thank you in this month for the money who the worst naked had done with this trial was really open up the world to what this guy really was did you see that i saw this article no i haven't been following it at all because it attracts on his ass oh no like the skin was too damn
from the shooting himself in the ass oh my god oh god this guy was hanging out there and somebody a doctor that go to seek said to me goes these people don't know what can of worms are gonna open up by known as this guy had skeletons in the closet that go back thirty can year since off the wall well any guy who's like doing that much to his face like the craze the city was doing like that famous pig give him he had his nose like have like there was like skin graft over his nose i think it was in court right you're in that picture brian pull that picture up see if you could find that there's a picture of michael jacksons nose that's the old michael jackson that we used let's him drinking whiskey vodka with two midgets oh my god is that real yeah i think so that's a goddamn the man show
drunk history michael jackson no deal it's a guy that was a halloween costume this is a real michael jackson two doves in apparel underwear but go go see if you can find the photo of his nose 'cause it the one of the weirdest things ever and i remember seeing that saying this is strange exercise and culture that we're seeing in michael jackson oh god it to support it up and if yeah because for every human being you know these are these are strange times like he's that's a skin graft over his nose or something maybe it's tape looks like it looks like the poster from silence of the lambs is that keep over his nose it's hard to tell what that is is it a bandage it looks just like skin hard itself that skin or some kind of a whole face adhesive or something like that but he i remember looking at that image and saying wow that was this guy done like with a skeleton then i remember thinking what must the pro
i should be like when you're that guy what must real it would be like if you start off as a child like super famous and loved by millions you know you man hey bc get samples one hundred and twenty three i mean he was huge way way way way way way way back before anybody knew how to handle it and he was huge as a baby well i'm watch which is just to be yeah come on yeah this justin bieber's on may michael jack look like a fucking puppet dog thinks he's going to he's going to be black and like seventy years open classifier he seems fine right now it works out this game gets dark trying to get some pussy why you hating on justin i'm just telling you what i see you can't do ninety fucking miles an hour in kalabasa i see a dude with a chrome car getting his dick suck
on the rowsey is fucking too i see some's height and you see his car around here every job maecenas and the one hundred and one apparently is a leopard print car now and one of those audi r 10s or something like that are eight what time is it in scotland then again i forget buying somebody's car to laugh i hear it you get a pop alright see that's well someone died on the pacific coast highway 'cause they were trying to take a pic german papparazi is run across the street and get clipped he'd right well look at that this audi leopard print that is so silly that's so silly it's so silly that he would do that wouldn't ugly look to that car as the bad ass car like that ever this is one of those is such a wicked looking car cover that thing looks like leopard tremors but that's that's the silliest i can do whatever the i want move ever you know he had a car
fisker that was chrome you ever see that thing that's just preposterous how dare you how dare you young man run around a chrome car thank you some noise it'll be on heroin fucking translator not sick and fucking people doing a bunch of shit with helping very good kid maybe and do some yoga yeah yeah matter you'll see is gonna seem very friendly seemed pretty down to earth considered considering with the fuck is sync crazy you would be if you were just to be thinking well you would have done if you would become justin beaver when you were fifteen or whatever he is with fifty million oh my god go crazy what are you actually we ended the world is your oyster show me constantly says put your money away again with that person you're going to go fuck you facebook immanuel standard and fucking just by waitresses my dog
which for you would be like that prints in the king in the game of thrones it should be like be evil you know the amount of power that's not the amount of power that a person should ever attain and incredibly rare that a person ever does attain that type of wealth you got justin bieber type wealth and the fact that he's getting and when he said it in my boring you thought you only back to get it when is seventeen or whatever hell is how old was he when he got super famous was like seventeen son younger fifteen what is he now like nineteen some might nice looking young man now we have this game that we played like which could you beat up so and so so and so and we like say to like you know and i said no i could beat up beaver it's not really thinking i was like yeah he's a little kid i got old man fat strength i could just sit on him or something like that but then i saw him with his shirt off the other day on some website and it's like holy shit that do could probably do destroy me he's fucking ripped his little boy now funk you up
so things like a blue belt or something do you think you could beat you up ds absolutely that's funny somebody told me that you know you know who is two michael jackson son he just got his blue belt really yeah gracie torrance pretty sure so it's legit blue belt fucking you stream and use chain keeps lagging out i don't know why you strip keeps sucking it lately we gotta figure what's going on with this but people are complaining like not complaining the mornings two shits going on too many commercials well that's on the problem we're having we're just having a problem with it cutting out like crazy but is it come what's that the app is good it's working what is it when we uploaded to vimeo do we get clean it's fine so watch the video don't pay attention to us
i watch this right now anyway and the fact that it works on the ipad find distant goes to believe that it is more again a flash plugin problem that's interesting so maybe i should try it on another browser alright let me try another browser i'm going to shut this bitch off and i'm going to try it we run chrome right there yeah i'm going to try it on safari where you have this weekend jody's got a couple of things this weekend couple spots nothing to fucking serious next week i gotta philadelphia yeah i gotta fucking helium friday's a ridge of rock okay when you like we're talking about like great clubs yeah yeah yeah anybody on the doesn't get in bed you open one in buffalo i had to change that date and i'm doing portland september also something oh you doing helium in portland of well all sweet baby jesus pretty sight for philly though you gotta believe so the bomb dude they want my twelve the bomb brew i put on safari immediately it lags out immediately
yeah i don't know what's going on you strain health paris jackson and he looks like he's like seventeen or so i mean the girl au pairs i think she's like she's in her teens i think not sure if the eighteen yet i feel bad about her well don't feel bad about all the man mean strange way to live your life should grow up that famous what you doing the reading your phone send it back in email and what i'm looking at this useless as he left us and he started email people have died joey diaz is he ate a candy i'm not anybody notice this if you heard some chilling while the show is going on behalf of about an hour ago he ate a candy and it's clearly kicked in now hasn't kicked you have disassociated from this conversation this mother fucker won't kick in till later on you know so this weekend is philly next week weekends filling and then will you working with so we can have them with my
and dom a rare up at the ice house yes son i you guys are co headliner and that's the way that's a great idea yeah that's that's what a great show hope it'll great shows they do the podcast from school was good to see don to learn how to be a fucking comic again you know you working time you like that mother fucker this at all it is a real monologist that's a different type of average there well you know what all the time i've known dom irrera he's never faltered like he's always loved being a comic and that's you know someone was talking about it i think it was bill burr will say he really loves the fact that like dom has been in it you know he was in it he was like a better and we all started and yet he still has like a lot of love for it some guys fade off they get older and they're just not funny anymore don hasn't lost a step he's a larious he's fucking hilarious man i watched him to stand up like before he did that you know he doesn't talk
should have a right where you stand on the still one of these on tonight i was down the last of the spot down there last night and then on the way up but how to follow poor reviews of the laugh factory how was that the laughter was thirty people were but it was ok you know i was only thirty people monday night and then fucking i want to put the haha and i seen damon for a little one in front of twelve people at what damon waynes he's making a comeback he's only going twelve people twelve people he always liked doing that though he loved it he was only sold school beat drop at one thousand two hundred and thirty at night with keenan somebody and it is always and he you know what i love about damon i used to love watching damon work shit out 'cause he really work something out like he'll have a id on stage it's just like a couple of words or a couple of not a couple words but a couple of concepts you know and healed take him and just run with them and because he's gay make all these people laugh like the pressure of that will lead him 'cause he's a great writer leads him to best lines
the time i should watch him work shit out on stage like he would right right but you also work shit out onstage whereas like mooney did a lot of writing like moon he would come in there and like something would happen like remember that airplane crashed in florida and crashing the swap and moving did a bit about old black ladies still clutching their purse remember that they pulled him out of the crocodile they still clutching their pearls like he had that like written like within a all the days of the plane crash and it was a written bit you know so he would like capitalize we always have a lot of new shit but it would be like a written bit whereas you could damon was like working it out while he was up there he would have ideally would just flush it out while i was up there so when to him like the punch on him he would start cracking up like not like that fake cracking up shit that bad comedians do it's gross right when you see people fake laughing you know
now the exact same way every night until that joke that's a fake laugh now that fake laugh gross but women would like every now and then he's like really make himself laugh you know i watched him do those late night sets at the store a bunch of times which funny the other morning i was watching tv i got up and bruce lee's change the world was on any griffin came on i gotta tell you a big smile came on my face yeah before i walked in here brian and i were talking about the comedy store he's telling me how the crew that hangs out there and how it's changed and blah blah blah and blah blah blah and you know he's enthusiastic about it what brian doesn't understand is i already went to fucking college there gyms and we did our fucking time it's not even about you or call those things i don't give a fuck for me i did my fucking time when i did my eight years of spots and sundays and following dice when you when you got you know you know what it's like to have two other sets and you gotta do your set and fucking vice is going up as you pull up you like oh this is going to be great and awesome
dice is going up like when i was almost twenty i could still see us sitting by the back and mooney how he will walk up to the check up box on here given the light you know and how you would just all those little things that was my college yeah that was my college bro you don't go back to high school you don't go mad cow you feel like a fucking moron and natural it was the comedy store for me was law school it was six fucking years of hard fuck work of snorting blow fucking eat bills eating pussy avoid women you know lying bitches you know trying to get a manager trying to go up there and fucking in a couple drinks in a rock and coke it was an adventure you know he saying that robber that provide when i remember that was still there you still last night was amazing tonight we're going to light him on fire adam locked in the bathroom people throwing paper thousandaire on fire you know i mean this is fucked up it's just it's
next remember quarry cuomo kuala mean going did you threaten them and going to corey i'm in miami i've been here for three weeks that's how fucking crazy is ok that's how fucking crazy rather than the fires unlike i avoided him after that when he accused me of doing something and i was out of town that bad him in it and i don barris that huge of raising it's been going on for decades these guy what what yeah don't don't don't do this to robin to provide no no he does that i see in the right this hitler mustache fingers don was on stage last night a ski just runs and room there was like maybe like thirty forty people in the room and discuss onstage and so like you just have to like get robert out of their using lasers and paper towels right the robber is still a good institution in the end is an institution like he's a part of the store yeah i mean in any so goes up i mean i i say hi to him every night i'm nice to him i never do any
i am mostly nice guy but everywhere all the other guys always you fucking throw menus at a minimum have always been cool i've always been really messed that guys yeah i never had a beef with him till he accused me of when i was out of town i don't understand that i was sitting on the stairs he's crazy i was sitting on the stairs and i think it's a long paper thousand light them on fire he's in there like oh what's the smell my phone fire when i let you fuck what it was really dangerous with him 'cause remember especially in the winter he would insulate himself with plastic bags he had these plastic bags that we stuff inside of his clothes keep them warm because he would walk home that and he would be downtown so you he walked downtown when he would leave the comedy store he would walk like five miles there was no joke like that he did that all the time he he
so does that and he goes to the grocery store after every show every night he does that gets the exact same thing like a banana in like a sandwich and an paris does the exact same thing he follows him to the video trip that's so fucked up man that's one of those things that the store had with those long running gags like do you member went brian count still does it with don barris everytime bryan callen tombura sees each other he pretends brian brian partenza dombar is forced to suck his cock and so he fights it off for awhile and then like put on a show and then finally bryant count will put his lips right embarrasses cock and blue wood barrels would be home his face it's so fucking and they go for it so uncomfortable to watch this is a who is this is robert from two nights ago and this is a girl on stage with no clothes on yeah that's her name's roller girl and will
yeah she never wears like underwears always brags about ron jeremy could you tell us on stage or on the yeah that's totally fine okay but as she a she she's been like this going on stage and like showing her vagina to and stuff like that and he shows it to robert yeah it's getting real nervous by the way how durable is that jacket and pants i know it's the same one back in pants is one hundred years old this mother fuckers wearing that same jackin pans everyday for a law long time those are some strong threads i think he might have a few of am so this girl she goes on stage all the time yeah hit like all the girls this is from last night you know there's mary jane and eleanor and stuff like that and eleanor is there oh yeah she's there every night is she really yeah and but because all these girls are on like the dingdong show and stuff like that but it's open thailand or is very funny man she's a very funny stand up now it's interesting we always kind of knew she was a funny person
when she was working at the store are these all stand his girls yeah that's a schizophrenic surfer he's got skin is schizophrenic and he i used to do open mikes with him and i in west hall or in a ha ha cafe by talking the boy when i'm asking about the girls as i drove their underwear he's like yeah that guy's yes there's mary jane stones girlfriend so these girls are all stand up comedian so this earlier community down there of girl stand no yeah and what's crucial that me and tony hence clips podcasts have a guide to girl stay cups that started on the show and they've never done stand of comedy before and every week we give them give them one minute and they like that's awesome yeah stand up comedy it needs more chicks it's not enough money checks in this world now when things and bad like they are now that's one more fun ones will rise is more funny jerry lewis
he says it again anyone off a month ago what do you do it's just that he doesn't think women are funny right at all i can't stand them talking to me on that funny i laugh there's plenty funny women that's a silly thing to say this funny people if someone is funny they're funny the idea that you would say that they're not funny because their check tell me morgan murphy is not funny that bitches various well she's lyrics sarah silverman's not funny sarah silverman is fucking hilarious this girl right here is demons out of the girls up my he was married to hugh hefner right here this girl right here though her name is jessica shores an she has a music video that you just put out like a month ago that already has like one dot two million hits her dancing around with you you look at it you'll i laugh my ass off i don't
it's no i won't laugh my ass how can we were still talking about it you would in a laugh about it way no thanks been there way up in there i've done that stop trying to make me sad you never get to hang cling to go back there we drive by you ever wish you could just pull into us that you still you doing the improv i've been there lately just gotta tech maria i gotta text her back the in drivers that bar freaks me out oh the persian barring window bar what is this reese sliding the fuckin lamps built into the wall and shit like what he's doing so glad you said that 'cause i was like you need a corner that you couldn't like suck pussy and there's no there's no hidden corners here it doesn't feel like a comedy club with white boots
like where are we are in miami one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight it feels like a hotel room or a hotel bar it feels like a road gig it feels like a gig you would do if you're in western massachusetts where they had like the bar the clubs those great once you get inside the actual setup is pretty fucking perfect you know and the way they have it now with the bar over there it does have less noise 'cause p i have to leave and go down that hall and then take a right and then take a left so it's probably like quieter for them that way it just seems weird i guess that annex though it wasn't making any money you know they got rid of the annex annex doesn't exist anymore they're also the bar is also running out the front part of it to a hamburger place some kind of hamburger is going to be that you manami but it's actually oh no the burger i don't know if i mean i've had those before
but the weirdest thing the weirdest the weirdest thing is is that the murals uh if you ever been to the hollywood improv we used to have these big like drawings are paying a bill room yeah and there's this new mural that hopefully no one yeah and it's huge it's just a bunch of comics sit there and you're trying to figure out who's who everyone does not look like they are it looks really like who picture the only i have is there's only one microphone on this mural like and there's only one person standing in front of the microphone and this like a simulation theory but that one thing is a fucking dolphin for some reason for no reason at all adolfo in front of the microphone and then you could kind of see a couple of the comics here like i can tell i know who that is just quite a pup so that's the only photo of it that's what i have and i can find see if i can find a that's like only a partial of the yeah part of a hero yeah i don't think it's weird that they would often sunglasses so yeah i don't know man this is there's no lie rhyme or reason there's no law
which is why they would takedown those other paintings those pins were old as fuck there was like a pie history i think he i think here's the here's the here's a news story about it the new mural god there's a story in the news this guy it will how dare you allies see they're gonna miro there's a dolphin now this fast but look look at it you can't go robin williams you sit here and look at it and you won't even be you can't even figure out half of the house is terrible these are working on and i want to say it's terrible set up set his style does not look like the people at all like like if you look
yeah jeff ross it looks like jeff ross chevrons so needs hello to you that's what that is where they have the unknown comic with a paper bag over his head yeah thank god this is so now they at the entrance it's over here where the want of what kind of neural is that and there is so many think there's somebody there that i forget what it was that george harlan is pretty obvious yeah well some of the people look really obviously allows for the obvious but let's see if i can get it i don't want to make i know it but it just shut it off let's just be nice that's what the comics are saying it's kind of weird going over there now because people are like what's up with this bar and it will is this crazy mural somebody somebody got crazy and they forgot that things are nice when they stay the same i forgot in the day who gives a fuck about the fucking mirror you know so i'm saying dog by i come all the way up here fucking talk to talk about a fucking mirror fucking impressed jesus christ your deers saying who gives a fuck about some fucking ugly ass mirror with them that's why i'm saying
i'm saying dog uh huh what else like i'm a fucker what movies you see lately anything good i saw it the couple's slowed to a trickle into movies it was a good movie was always good but i really movie could move is so good focke in moving from masako i watch cartoons now fox television fall ball that family guy much of sponge bob that's the yeah population of pineapple under the seat true is it good because the 3d or you just do so just like the first one was great the first one is not bad either they're good movies i love all that shit there it's like it's uh i mean obviously i went for my kids but it's legitimately good moving but that's where they put their fucking screen that's where they put their creativity and the kids shit in the adult shit you sit there my friend said he went to see the end of the world last night and this guys a white dude is very geeky and he went to see the kevin hart things at the end of the world had to walk out
really having a hard thing was ok there was just too big to stand up at the garden he felt like it was just too big to tape there he goes at the end he watched the credit that goes there was dirty fucking cameraman but i'm saying the priority cameraman so it's didn't feel intimidated feel intimate enough which means are you doing those fucking places you don't you you don't feel anything then yeah you know there's a certain level like one thousand eight hundred and something after that now after that for a guy that it's downhill yeah it was very slow like we see the guy in jersey or slow pace that's great but the guy steps on his own lines that i just don't you're absolutely right that is the issue when people laugh and you can't hear what they're saying like one thousand eight hundred or above yeah i don't want it prize money yeah we have a good time but i don't feel good when i walk off this i don't feel like i did nothing yeah i'm just struggling to talk slow my part was off my times off yeah
i like that that's why i'm i don't know where i want to shoot a special i like to shoot at somewhere where it's fucking small i don't wanna do theaters i don't want people consume in a fucking atlanta i honestly atlanta punch was a great idea i think that's a great idea i've honestly think three hundred is the threshold for things getting different two hundred and seventy yeah four thousand seven hundred and twenty seven is nine thousand and fifty gets a little kinky even cops just tremendous it's big though it's too bad carbs is tremendous and then when you have the little thing on top that's a little up yeah on top in the back to it goes way back and above you don't feel much of a connection with euros is a perfect place to take the perfect american comedy co because that's not bad either there's a lot of pillars in that spot i don't want to shoot in california
yeah that's the problem we do shit here yeah we want to go somewhere in the front light up a ceiling grand funk railroad we're an american band will come into your town will help you party down we're an american fucking are you kidding me how your party jam dog listen to will help you party down will preach ibos refa papers now that so i wanna go somewhere when you do a set in la it's fun it's great they can see us anytime that's true because if i was louis ck i do the orpheum and jump up and down if i would fucking you know a kevin hart i do fucking whatever standup live downtown whatever that's but i'm not right and i'm never going to i don't want to do that kind of stand up i remember smaller that's why do good your aunt and shouldn't have big feet i lose it what's also so it's a matter of how much do you really need because if you start getting into the eight and ten thousand seats it's one thing
if you're doing it because of demand is really high you don't want anybody to not be able to go because you know the shows would be all sold out but you can make a lot of money just doing clubs i mean how much money does a comic need to exist in this life you know if you or if you're living like a normal person you do clubs you make plenty of money you know but the show will be more like you i can go see you in a huh good seats and you could be screaming and yelling at the top of your lungs and rent i'll know everywhere that comes out your mouth would be more questions what did he say i couldn't hear there be none of that but you get into those like two and three thousand seat places there are moments and i noticed that when watch that guy in jersey there was a there was a few moments where i didn't know what he had said because he like ranting as they were laughing and i was like oh this is interesting i re interested gets rocket he was in the dynamics were great four twenty fourths hundred seat do you know the dynamics of chicago
oh yeah tremendous i rented there and it came up perfectly but that's a very few and far between that place is magical i would also consider shooting a special if it wasn't so big in the place we do in pitts burg that was a great place to see her that was the carnegie library of our god that with a ceiling fan was amazing he spent all librarian was no library there's so many places if i can find a good all fuckin joint like for six hundred you see she is do it is healing a man i want to do it do it either healing in portland to import local fought one hand grazing i wanted to a brick wall in a brick wall right only brick wall was poor one slash two giggle we can put this up like giggle some st giggles william giggles is the comedy club that i used to do in boston boston yeah and giggles is also and seattle a place that was run by the vietnam veteran i would take a draw from him on thursday
a salaried forget issues again and then i called him monday and asking who was there next week and he goes on his last time you work the club although celeste three years ago said friday he had he forgot not that bad oh my gosh i learned i would get the waitress on saturday with me i find that was the feature act next week i call him monday nine hundred and one baby what's up buddy joke this who's featuring this week when was the last time you were at my club oh a year ago and you have to be fucking spotless clean but he would show up till to see the headliner and there was a curtain on the stage and you could see his jaguar oh that's hilarious jagua pulled up i did my cleaning stuff soon as you want it only coming from one minute and i just bombed for two minutes it only come in look at the battery going
this is hysterical this is how much how this is how box this guy was i forget that guys name he's a track coach in seattle very good guy was on hbo just a college track coach he doesn't travel as much he was headlining he's a great comic and a great monologist he's completely clean this motherfucker gets all stage and the owner of the club goes up and it goes let me tell you some i went in there three minutes ago and you being dirty don't ever do that my clubs like maine and finally concerned because i was just about to rach out but i remember he's a vietnam vet and he got hit with a miss some this is told that he sold the club to a mormon right yes we talked about warm in on the interview yeah the mormon got mad at us and then he offered me a week up there yes the more now it's done yeah it's done yeah he got mad because he it's
send somebody home or said someone couldn't work there are some things we say man or something hold and have found one of those guys someone someone had problems with them and so i just wanted to put the word out so that i can't work wise guys in the mormon ville in wise guys in salt lake he left any boyd giggles so i never did that club that was i think i'd heard about it but it was like you got a big kid you have to be clean yeah yeah a live body slate work that that was what he did he call the because now i don't know i don't allow the bobby slayton work there and he was saying something like this is not my cup of tea you know i he set it like any was when he was bringing up the show or something like that this is not my type of show i just want to say that like he like introduce to show that way and someone was offended news is schimmel or it was bobby call bobby slayton one of those guys fucking got married when thursday night was the capital of the hotel those are seattle gig
friday and saturday with giggles and in the u district you know it's fucking fan plastic pool are live in bellevue have you done that place yeah bro listen i was salivary call me today number one you got a call okay because when you go to usc this guy up that made you well a tank for you to go on the the bomb under a fucking war like the guy made you will fucking video projector that you see shit after the bond let's number one number two i've been called me today to tell me that he's got a cop buddy in the cop but he looked into my warm this crazy i thank crazy they're trying to get the exact dates on extradition warrant they won't let me down anyway but if i get caught in seattle they're gonna arrest me and they're going to keep me in there because it's an expired warrant he was telling me i'm in the whole story finagle i haven't do me a favor get me a fuck
attorney and let's just do this pick me up turn 'cause i don't know know ciara tories get a fucking attorney elsa number retainer right let's get this warren over with i'm not going to turn my cell right so what they say i don't know i'll be back tomorrow i'm going to write a check and send it and let you know how many letters i get like please get uncle joey to come with you to seattle please i gotta go up there so i'm going to fucking do this and get this over with send ivan the attorney the money i think the guys name is savage and the doctor saying lawyers there was savage savage oh my god that's hilarious go up there and get it out and then i could probably go up there with you next month i'm there there july twenty six with tom sigara where my angel now that's like that's two weeks yeah it's two weeks i'm i'm there i'm going to get see jill himitsu in seattle and shit my girl is awesome she is watching the darling darling the moore theater that's what i'm doing i'm doing me in sierra seattle so fucking bad ass
we had a good time up there when i was looking for bigfoot too that's a good lawyer up there so i've got some place i dis respected but not really why did you expect it i lived up there with that fucking filthy and faster and love choking around she stabbed me ha have you disrespect in seattle because of that and that's why i like alright now i love to get outta here and i loved you know bro there's only one fate place for me to go and that's cala rado yeah that's it but i felt like i disrespect them i would have to disrespect the collar on i had done you know when you will die because i fucked up dead but so what along long time ago man you're a different human now colorado it's lloyd country has a god's country bro when drive in colorado breathing that air doing fucking god's living room i don't know what the fuck to describe to me one of the things about boulder is just that you're at the base of those mountains and you you leave boulder you dry ten minutes welcome to the woods like literally you
ten minutes out of boulder you are in the woods and the beauty of the places so it's so stunning that effects people it effects it's like living around the most insane art work all the time i really do believe that i think that's one of the reasons why the people are so healthy there i think the view it's not just the air is clean which it is but it's also like the view of those mountains like enriches you i really believe that i think this than two places like that specially 'cause it's uh college town so it was like intelligent people there intelligent cool people at the base amount in this insane view listen dog with buy some land and let's do this let's start a farm sort of fucking call me up there on my boo it'll be raised why not let's do it you want to go i want to go kala once ago brian before some to before some ago
price check with james of funk and by saying all that goes branagh box them up the bird cages from the mansion ship off southwest i wanted for myself you know what ma'am that's not redeem myself by special and then go i'm not listen we could do we could go back to back you know prisons say hello those mother fuckers no back to back specials like we you want a week i do another the next week you know will do like two weeks in denver that we could even film a documentary two weeks denver i'll open for you when you do your special you over for me what i do i figure a way for you to bring me up on stage so i'll do it fuck yeah did you tell me i'll do it i'll be happy to do it if even if i just come in just to bring you up i'd be happy to do it just what's next legit ufc you brought every special i ever did did the i'm going to be dead someday that was maguire every single thing of houston every something i've done since then you brought me up no what's the next big ufc fight bill gates
brazil brazil yeah that's well no theirs seattle demitrius johnson john moraga that's on fox that's coming up soon yeah now the us is going to japan dude but they do the fx or fuel shows there and i haven't been doing those but i'm doing the first fox sports one that's a boston card i'm going to do that going to be at the show but i'm not going to fight i'm gonna be at the show though yeah with two shows sold out to show doom son sockets you it's alaska judge next to us and i listen to me this summer before the time is up before it gets cold there go go to anchorage alaska did comment i did yeah i did see some bear to slaughter some like that was in prison bear tubes i think was bear to the bear to see it's a theater they show movies there and they have a comedy show it was falcon what's the city we went to accurate anchorage didn't go choke with charlize now now
i went to this bear tooth theater whenever the fuck it is it was amazing they grow they grow they have their own beer there they grow their own weed powder fear powder it's like they brew their own beer it's amazing the mixture i'm saying the name right beartooth lodge yeah it's right is it yeah yeah it was amazing man it was it was it one of those places where as you're up there like you would think before you went there you be like who the fuck lockwood live in alaska like my friend eric eric crisp of sugar tree cues he still to in in alaska is make a badass maker makes pool cues like the best pool cues and uh he was he at one point time you did like he was where can i think you live database there when he was in the military or live there when he was in the military and he always talked about going back there and i go why the fuck did you go to alaska man are you crazy i was thinking
how cold it is in all the stories i've heard but then you get daniel like i say i get it i've been the same to happen it was i gotta get it it's weird we go outside to third in the mornings blight out that's good two hundred and thirty in the morning we did our show we took pictures of the show we hung out i would just want to go party all night oh yeah i'm sure people do and by where that myth of no pretty girls there myth ok length of ten to one man myth it more than half of the population of anchorage is girls an there's a lot of hot ones on there like rugged hot in love with the they all regional brews up i don't no no no we didn't go to strip club now we we did basically was we fished all day were efficient we go we went on a rented an outfitter and went for ten hours a stretch so two long days in the first we did ten hours a second day we actually called it quits like a little early so that we could get ready for the show 'cause we were exhausted i'm not saying
went to strip clubs but we don't do anything people were saying you gotta go to you know like when we where we go and their strip club there is huge because women come from all over two in the middle there in these uh in early that there's a ratio ten to one men women go up there in and have a season fishing season they'd make fucking house and i shake it yeah there's another season in uh in late july and the silver salmon are running like like towards towards the end of the month apparently that's another big time some people come up and then there's also people come up for like the various hunting seasons like new season it's september people come up for that but god damn that place is majestic you see eagles you just see eagles everywhere we saw five moose we were there for two days we said five moose and there's just something about the place it just makes you this is like humble you know makes you it humbles you 'cause it's just it's you when you're flying over you look down your jaw just drops
it goes on forever and then forever you see nothing you just seem mountains and trees and mountains and trees and mountains and trees and mountains and trees and then ok we're starting our descent into aspect or at the anchorage and you slowly start scooting into anchorage and buy you get when you get there you like these people are gangster as fuck thank you think about the farther living from the real world like there up there some weird little patch of land that they decide to clear out some trees and start some fires and fucking half a million of 'em up there was like three hundred thousand people live in there it is only like i think the whole state only has like double that or something like that i think there's only like six hundred thousand people in the whole state but anchorage got like three hundred thousand people you could live there man i'm telling that four hours away before we even start the party yeah that's fucking you get the seattle into alaska and get to seattle from alaska to
life feels like the fuck i gotta get the other places if you could live anywhere outside of la now i know now that you have your little daughter you i'm sure you probably think and i don't want her growing up in california that's one of the things that i thought of immediately when my first daughter was born so beautiful thanks goes on if you could go to another state which would be it would be colorado why not yeah i can't figure out seattle would you do that if you could get back so how come fucking living in seattle from september to fuck in december to go up there to doctor these people are so cool yeah seattle school what in september and with you two fucking weeks of nonstop fucking rain and the gutters and you can't go nowhere and all you want to do is wake up look around you know when you wake up here you go to pee in the sun creeps through your fucking windows what do you do when you wake up for two weeks and it's fuck great and grand november and
it's a little sunny for three days then it's raining again for three weeks cool ask people will right every once you're in no danger we want to be so it's already in there for two days and also we have a place but doubt lived there for six months seattle is great the you look great that's great to do comedy there it was if a fucking meet that long stretch september to december it rain or be there fog there's more to life than fucking waking up the fucking rain my friend it's like living in buffalo ny put the fuck what is that called the protractor where you put the protractor the buffalo and put the protractor the fuck in seattle it's in the same missile the same missile to take a buffalo and then to take out fuck in seattle they got the same suicide fuck of rates you know you gotta fucking buffalo dog
it's a tough live i love is i love it but it's a tough live i think it's hard to fuck her in california in july and go yeah it's nice shadows gorgeous in the summer the only problem counselors is too many people santa barbara you don't think that if you go to my bright that might be the move santa barbara might be the move so i'm going to do a helium in santa barbara do you bad it would be theater that we did was perfectly only know he leaves the senate bob that either did for six hundred square doing it again was fucking or just when you want to do it again say the word december december or the week before christmas i love it i suppose we still gotta do what we're doing vegas two hundred and twenty two vegas that december 27th we can't but we still gotta do an end of the world somewhere really yeah they offer us the wilma theater again do it went in boston now here we have the will turn around the lower chamber doing well over we have to do the will to end the day before christmas test in the world of the twenty third yeah he had been once a
nobody wants to go out and christmas eve none on two days before christmas are you sure about twenty people are shopping and shit december 20th but last time we did it december 21st december 21st is it halloween what should we call it if we don't call it which brings stanhope hunting again everything show everybody what should we call it there's nothing in the world the end of the world part two at the beginning of the new world beginning of the new riders of the purple sage we should do it in denver i do whatever the fuck you want if you want we should do let's move to denver bitch let's do that but still let's move to denver bitch show put a boulder shell do less let's move boulder bitch let's do it i think i said to do a definitely a monthly show in vegas like every month you i don't know about that man i i enjoy going in every few months and rocking it i'll tell you the joy that's my new favorite place the joint at the hard rock
first however he works there is cool as far cool as is so was dynamite rizzo dynamite great vibe and decks that crowd could have been better joined the phone maze we had so much fun to me as is so much fun with that was like they weren't stoners we just hung out of the bar we don't want to smoke one time and go to smoke at all i was fucking stone inedible i was just talking to rated movies wait the goonies on the players on fucked up at nine hundred and thirty yeah by four i was fucked up in that hotel i had three goonies before i went onstage julie bears yeah any ivan saluran then i would love to go to seattle on a regular basis i wish i could get you in and all that shit but i can't risk going to fucking jail for something that happened eighty fucking years ago that believe nothing bad happened not yeah that seems are these older in the i think go to our anger management the judge threw me out of the state to you really family the judge told me i gotta go that's how was yeah that was it you gotta go dog
joe go joe you gotta go what are you doing next weekend so are you out of yes yeah i got family going on i don't have a gig booked till the gig book out of town at least until seattle i some other shit cooking i'm trying to finish up this tv show too it's it's it's it's more difficult i thought it was going to be it's more diff time wise and i thought i was going to be and it's more difficult as far as like getting it right it's a lot of work you know we put together kind of the shoba ari's in it and duncans in it too and there's a lot of interviews and they're doing when i'm not there like i said and to interview some scientists and our egos and interview some other scientists and all these other crazy people involved in all these did discipline so it's kind of interesting and it's uh we only open it comes out right it's a big experiment rights era with a scientist so do you like gummy bears
now are is very intelligent man he's very good at interviewing people and talk to people we hadn't talked to some some crazy religious guy we went to the global future two thousand and forty five conference in new york what a bunch of fucking intelligent superfreaks that place is filled with it was so fastly all these people with robots that look just like m and people with bionic hands and like the little the cutting edge of life extension science we had our interview in some religious guy it was really weird there was these religious guys and they were all like telling people that you know not to not to concentrate on technology and not to be persuaded by technology but the beauty of a rose cannot be defined by science who she no why is seed becomes a flower and a flower becomes a beautiful part of you like this weird resistance sort of you know like this weird training to
great their religion into the idea of the future and like listen bitch you get left behind and getting left you dressed like a wizard and you getting left behind i'm going to what you do you get crazy beads around your neck and you think they're important in your fucked ok 'cause you're style of living you can't rocket you can be reading sixth one year old books and saying in saying they had it right they were on but these global future two thousand and forty five people ical chips in their head they don't know what the they're doing jody is a lost gem we got to get out a anyways yeah i can accomplish yeah next weekend at comic con two thousand and thirteen were having a midnight show there friday and saturday night and so with me sarah tiana mike black yoshi benji and special guest so they can't say excellent club it's a fun spot american got to go and get your freak on and when is the comic con next week
friday is friday and saturday midnight shows so the 20th and 21st yeah and if you want to see me insecure aware at the moore theater in seattle july 26th the boston wilbur theater on august eighth meet with joey diaz and arisha fear an main suck up on it so loud full shows july attend an milwaukee were doing what is that there were doing the paps or something in milwaukee apps is doing we're august 30th that's you and me and you know then fucking already philadelphia get over gone to the 20th and then the following week on with my main man dom irrera that's why yeah well brian and i actually talked about this yesterday we eventually got to put together like a real serious death squad page with all the different guys we could click on the link
i have a picture of you next to a picture of dunkin next to pictures everybody who's in there at once top shop go there our budget but nobody gelastic too perfect is a counter with all their shows on it right here beautiful jail does this powerful chill he's awesome alright thank you to everybody tuned into the podcast thanks to squarespace dot com go to squarespace dot com come forward slash joe to sign up and use the code word joanne the number seven to get your i made a website i'm doing a fucking commercial dude to get ten percent off your first purchase were also brought to buy stamps dot com if you go to stamps dot com use the code jre to save yourself some cash and what was the other one legalzoom legalzoom aah yes legal soon legalzoom which is the latest of our the latest of our podcast sponsors if you go
legalzoom dot com and use the code rogan you could save yourself some money legalzoom is not they have exact thing supposed to read legalzoom is not a law firm they provide self help services at your specific direction and if you really nice they rub your balls wait masturbate no i made that part up listen that's not true this is a comedy podcast fucked legalzoom go go there get your freak on it comes at sponsor bonser onn it use the code name rogan save ten percent off any and all supplements we will most likely be here tomorrow i just have to figure out what time i can get off at work i'm tryin real hard to get these podcasts out again and joe d as you can catch him in the church of what's happening now how many days a week doing that now cool cool tools on day six am when these days in the afternoon i can't wake up early then why not do my
monday six hundred am do you understand that fucking around you stream cock sucked he's not even playing games six hundred am and he does it on the regular alright thank you everybody thanks everybody came out to vegas thanks everybody comes out all the shows you guys the shit we love the idea and will see you soon big kiss i'm online
Transcript generated on 2019-10-04.