Greg Fitzsimmons is an American stand-up comedian. He also hosts his own podcast "FitzDog Radio" available on iTunes and every Monday on Sirius Howard 101.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey freaks sapling friends! People offended by freak you too training, fucks going on, don't say, training. You know how to say that anymore. That's the new one to remove training trains. Bad now. I have right now is very dangerous. You removed to make a tranny also, Oh you, son of a bitch. You rearrange you free, that's right, so that anymore, transgender, you recycle. Even if you love french gender people in love, say that, like even if you have some but love in your heart trainees out now defensive. I'll never be able to embrace it. I accept it and I honor it, but I fucking it does not at me my head can't wrapped around you know you had: can reverend Gregg for its own legal zoom that God? Let me tell you kid if you ever have had to do anything legal involving like saying like setting up a corporation
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over two million Americans have used it and they saved a ton of money. It's an excellent excellent service, approach, Craig Foot summit and use the code name Rogan in the Referral box for even more savings. Alright, my friends boom shalo lock boom on it dot com, that's the other sponsor. If you go to on. And I D news: according Rogan you'll save ten percent of any and all supplements. That's my daughter He knows a lot about food, but a pair he thinks he can eat. We talked about that confront. When I'm, if I'm wasting my time, not eating wheat from all gluten free right now, gradually I'm tired, we'd is the shit. That's the new thing as it is the complete food source really That's all you need that it's the best food source that is the in terms of the amount of different nutrients and fiber people like drink shots, a wheat grass, that's true, yeah yeah. That is true
but at the same time, we cross the same as wheat? I don't think it is, this issue has unfortunately around shit that we have in a higher you jus on and when you're thinking about things. When you got over it, I don't know, I'm trying gluten free for awhile. Seen outward so far, work so good, but MIKE dolce. An ultimate grocery guide up there on you can learn more about that MIKE Dolce is a guy that a lot of the MMA fighters use for their nutrition council he's a really smart guy. When it comes to diet, I saw I got to ask him about the sweet thing find out: what's good about it, but mostly what we sell on on. It is things it can enhance human performance, all stuff like strengthening Equipment supplements protein powder and things on those lines. It's all just things that You use them on a regular basis. They can enhance human performance weather
medicine balls are weighted vast, sir. We care about cardio, dvds, our stuff, we sell. The idea is that it's going to enhance, if you use it and you work out with it, it will enhance the way your body works. If you take, the supplements will enhance the way your body functions. How about big muscles? You should get I need some might need bigger Moscow. You ready, yeah commit yeah be good of a shot all the time, though it's got a big mouth. I need to start backing it up at almost fifty fuck it time to really knuckle up. I'm not gonna get tough except I'm tired of beating the guy. With the sand kicked in his face. Oh n n, it use the code name, Rogan, save yourself. Ten percent off any and all supplements Greg Fort Simmons is in the Fucking House, my friends quit Brian okay.
The job will gain experience, my sweet, we Gregg Fitzsimons, you beautiful a Jew, always good my friend, what what a hang this is gonna be baby kicking back, got some girl scout cookies. Is your special coffee? What's it called it's called bullet coffee, oh man, that goes down smoke. It's a Dave, asprey creation. He he invented creating coffee with grass FED Butter and MC oil, medium triglyceride oil oil. It gives you caffeine high, and it's a lip bomb. Yeah, it keeps you greasy the idea with it is that, because it has the caffeine and in with the butter and the MCT oil that it's more of a slow release effect right
takes your body a while to digest it, as opposed to like coffee, just go right in your blood, and you don't get the crash with this exactly exactly they do a medicinal marijuana stuff is in the butter right. Yes, yes, I do not know the probe, never made anything and they're cooked anything. I don't know the product. but I know there's something involved cooking it to activate the thc in an edible form. I think, though, that you can get hi with it and if you just a few just eat, arrives on their wedding gift in ass, luck would have it think it's no joke right? You have to like have salads, then, maybe in catch a little above us, that's the new we may have a salad. Did you hear about Sanjay, goop derisory and in fuckin incredible I mean first of all, pay to CNN for Aaron S this guy for coming out with this. This is incredibly controversial stance Sanjay Gupta he went in
over the last year. He, we're gonna documentary called Weed and even his he, but for he started this project he thought that marijuana was bad for you. He thought marijuana was addictive. He said that marijuana was in our something that should be avoided and at the end of it project he's writing this story. Apologizing. He says I I'll just because I didn't look hard enough until now. I didn't look far enough. I didn't review paper from smaller labs and other countries, are doing so are remarkable research and I was too missive of the loud chorus of legitimate patients who symptoms improved in cannabis stand I loved the men with the high visibility now liners size. Or whiners just look get high. I missed They can believe the drug enforcement agency list listen marijuana as a schedule, one substance because of sound scientific proof
Surely they must have quality reasoning as to why marijuana in the category of the most dangerous drugs that have now, accepted medical use and use a high potential for abuse. So he wrote this long article. I want to keep reading it and he also admitted he was wrong. That's as a doctor to go on on camera and say I was wrong. Do I wonder, though, this this almost makes me wonder it its. It almost seems like some sort of a shift in policy because the reality of CNN and Am Msnbc in Fox NEWS. These are giant companies, their huge companies. They don't just things. They don't just say whatever the want us right that its it. Although it has to go through a bunch of people and they have to decide what are we doing this? What are we doing we're gonna print? This is this? Can up yes off TAT Turner, yeah who's, gonna who's, gonna, get upset by the zebra. Has anybody money we ok with this shape? Should we move in this direction and then they print a story like this, because I just gotta think that
something as big as CNN like they could have said like. Maybe in the eighty s, if you try to print the story, they would've been like. It's get the fuck out of right, we're not putting this on the air. Well, especially because Nancy Reagan had just declared the war on drugs. Yes, exactly did just say no era. That's when you and I started doing comedy. I was like what a beautiful like kick start: everybody had to their act right. There was always a drug war joke because it was so preposterous kitty, Dukakis drinking rubbing, alcohol and war on drugs he remembers that story, when might do, caucus was running for president hid couple blunders. The tank thing, a tank Fang heard and got in a tank and put leg of a soldier's outline. Let them take pictures and everybody was like what the fuck is. He was the way with human being of a he was like worse than Ross per hour yeah they They wanted to improve its image as a leader and so those like he quickly
snail this little wrinkly neck sticking out. It was like pale white face, that he was one of those guys he's. he's like Ralph Nadir in that here and give a fuck that is suit, isn't from Brooks Brothers in well Taylor. I, like asshole, you run for president. You actually have to take the time to get a decent suit. Picture- oh my god, look at him. Look at that shit. who told you to do that he's got like a full helmet on and shit. What does he do now? I haven't heard anything about him in a long by professor it good question on my guy of that? That was your teacher in school, Bali's? Obviously brilliant man? You know, I think that the idea of running for president must be so fucking incredibly stressful mean that you see a woman just completely lose it and start drinkin. Rubbing alcohol, I mean
Is she so she needs a get tanked up so bad and is not in the house. She's Drinkin aftershave Betty Ford, FUCK man, they were all drunks. Imagine the pressure of the White House just wrap your head around the pressure of making all the decisions of pressure being the guy everywhere. You go this fucking security everywhere around you, bulletproof cars and getting on jets and flying to other countries. like the center of the presentation of the conflict in the world. talk not only day. People are talking, like those this fishermen that go out and in Alaska and is the most dangerous job about this about this. statistic. I looked this up. I account maybe I can a wrong, but I think ten percent of president's been killed in office or died in Accra. So what the job would have a ten percent chance of you'd dying in four years down the line for the job, so
you know. You got that hanging over your head, the two one ever assassinated, Lincoln Kennedy I mean those that the heroes, those are the James Dean of of presidents right now, if you look back at like who's, the woozy bad motherfuckers presents a gas it get killed. A out is tat. Those are the ones we mess does the ones they death. I was the one they were going to do it. They were gonna fix it, while on the other side Reagan was that guy and they tried to kill Reagan. Wagon was a totally different animal. You know it's interesting. How Reagan like overtime has become something it's much more acceptable to like. Absolutely, I'm always whitewashes. I mean Henry Kissinger guy is. He can't leave the country because he would be arrested as a war criminal in I forget Hammond countries. It is, but this Fucker Kissinger. Ordered e illegal bombings in Cambodia. You know he I mean your tongue king about genocide. You, if you are, if you are free
now bombing carpet bombing a population that you're not at war with. a fucking war crime and now, I just saw in on Corolla Colbert last night they did a scam, with Kissinger, and it's like. No, it's not funny. It's not. Ok, he's a fucked up human being. Why our nor deity done you, don't have any knowledge of nineteen seventy politics. I know almost nothing why, like a little bit about the year, the campaign that higher Thompson covered, for fear and loathing on the campaign trail right, which is great yeah. It's about? My extent, whom I knowledge and ninety seven is politics: looked into it. Nineteen seventies period is, I must have been most. Because what we were kids,
we're about the same age and forty five hours, San I'll, be forty six soon by the game, fucking ass by a neighbor right now. we blocked it out it. Maybe no, I think, disco fucked me in the ass. I just blocked out. The second did you remember when you were like really young, like going to dance clubs and trying to meet girls, the palace in Revere that your place? Well, it was everybody's played If somebody wanted to go war and trying to meet a girl now but there is nothing so ridiculous. I only when a couple times those places, my friends and I was like what the fuck are. We doing like this kind of work, a crazy way to meet human beings. Did you ever try country that was even worse, where you they go like wait, respect where Dan L I do, member the time we went to North Carolina, we have with me a Charlie good night when extorted a bargain. Yes, yes, now who are there's a bar
right and they are all sing along to a song. You never fucking heard in your life is garbage, Jan and this thing in this shit and they're gone all round the dancing data gathered that dancing that they all data gathering dad. They did that. They definitely did that too. But this was the thing. This is just another song that Brian I never heard of, but apparently so, like a hundred million, albums in the south so we're in the south- and this is like it comes on they're like whoa. It was like I'm like we're in another country like
when you're going to a place where they're country fans, that is a whole other country, that's the people who know who won NASCAR. Did you hear Dale? Did it again? Did you hear he did it again and then there's fucking everybody that lives in that area? That's a different part of the world, there's songs that they love that you have never fucking heard of yeah and tha. You ain't heard a clip, Privin, no couldn't driven a great favour, some million out What the fuck is clearly proven. Your allies, like pearl, germ cells, one million, and they are just as ridiculous as like uber golf guys, because you know uber gosh, guys they're like wearing like black makeup, and you know they're like really like completely like posing and this bizarre thing that they're doing so. What are you doing with a fucking cowboy had shithead turquoise belt, buckle and dip slippery ass,
boots. Those things are dumb, which century you living in? What are you doing? It's like people that maybe they love Halloween and they want to ground all year. You know I'm a cowboy. What is it do go on the porch? What if the music doesn't even sell that? Well, it's just that they're so dumb they keep on losing their cds. The have to keep on buying them over and over. Well. Look as far as outfits go cowboys a cool ass outfit. That's one thing I have to admit like if you dress not by a cowboy, if you're a dude, and you got the balls to rock cowboy boots and Stetson going to ask jeans, but even or not or not, you know, that is a ballsy move right. That's a ballsy look to commit to in the year two thousand and thirteen. I see why not you know, I'm not hating. I just want to be clear about that. I'm not hating! If that's how you like to dress, why not? Why not well Look at me, I'm almost fifty I dressed like a fifteen year old, always have desires.
like a junior cars on the coach, I wear. Fucking coach is sweat fast yeah. You can a certain point. You, like that's, what's comfortable comfortable thing, and then I think about people that you, you think of the possibilities in Europe, our job. They are limit less a woman could dress up, as you know, Queen Elizabeth every day, as a guy yeah. These guys guys they go FUCK I'm painting my nail, the whole thing: yeah, I'm gonna grow one. I'm gonna grow my pinky nail really long and you just fucking and it's like you can buy oh people away with that shit, but we I don't
It's like the last thought in my head is to even make an impression with my clothing. I want it to be a zero, but you should wear whistle that would be funny. It would be not just wear white, not the coach ever now, then you want to get somebody that tech channel be a fucking whistle for my birth. You imagine if he was just started wearing whistles, it became the new cross like a cool whistle was cool whistle on it easily could be like you have a whistle and you're like a Bambi like that could be the same clubs like. Oh you see how good he whistles yeah and be like a mating thing. We would be like birds chirping at each other, the strange whistles right in rape, culture whistle the opposite. It's the material people in with a dance of noise. If we can make cool noises like a whistle with our mouths, I guess some people probably can this dudes like michael- will woods low dudes that can
here in Europe Isn't it funny, though, that it's such a valued skill? That's pretty good you guys are fucking twelve years old. Look at that! That's what men get! Ladies, that's what men do if you leave them alone, leave them a little long enough. They fuck I sit in front of each other, make it stupid noises and then they buy whistle. Isn't it funny that, like making cool sounds with your mouth is like a valued thing? oh yeah yeah. I mean that's. Why, like singers, are so valued when someone is a really good singer, you're, like whoa, you know it makes you like step back like holy shit, like for how you doing that, we won't want what. Why was the biggest funding? We thought that was. The cool is now here. I was at wax paper and a common values when you have that thing that he put in his mouth there. Your memory,
But where was in there? What sort of those things called talk box? Yeah, whatever that thing is that wrappers use all time now, the auto Tunisia like little little Wayne each through that thing right, it's always food through here. Did you see that all the time but like with blood, feed a prompt him when he was doing it? I kiss was like? Was it eighties or seventies, must be the seventy nine I'm guessing. That's a we do something that I added song. Do you feel like I do my meal, he was one of the first times anybody had ever done that and people were going nuts yeah. They were going nuts right. I just remember like when I had a picture of a rock star just that He had woke up this morning with a wine glass, in my hand, whose wine, what wine, where the hell did, I done that
all we want. We wanted to become that guy who's in opinion, how sweet with a wine glass and as they do it again, due to its great song, I fucking song. That was one song that define that guy yeah like if you think of Peter Frampton, that is the song you think of right away, cheap trick. I want you to want me live at Bution, what's crazy about Peter Frampton. Is that Peter Frampton was guy, who got famous because of his life, shows as our Yeah he's alive show was so fantastic. He was such a showman. That's terrific! appreciate his brilliance. You had to see him rock a crowd right, and so, when he does do you feel like I do in front of a crowd and he's got twenty thousand people tuned into him singing along with him yeah. It is some fucking magical shit and that's one. Seventeen, while he's doing he's beautiful, he's a beautiful man and because he was
like one of the first guys to put out like a live album like that and that that was one of his first, his big success was the live album that was really rare. Usually people got a studio, album and then maybe I think kiss was one of the first guys that said fuck it. Let's do a live one kiss a lot because they knew how to rock a show. Yeah like those shows were wild but Peter Frampton that do you feel like I do he's he's, got full control that crowd and I'm sing along with them. That is fun in man. That's a magic moment. Can you play a little bit of that? Jim Morrison Mystique where he was like. You wanted to follow him into this World Year programme. He was a bad mother fucker and he was there who's. A rock star in the mysterious days is a completely different world back. Then you now
They didn't have twitter where they said stupid, shit and then had to delete it like that. Does this right? These were wild dudes and they had no accountability. It was like. Did you see almost famous? Yes, I was kind of like that. I think in I think in the movie, their following the arm and brothers, but but was kind of a. He said it was a mixture of a few different bands, but it was from that exact time. That's the Leonard Skinner era. Right I mean that's. Those are those were wild mother for right, in my opinion, the greatest guitar solo the world has ever known is free bird, yes, free bird live. Have you ever seen? The one is free bird live and they're jamming in front of it's a football arena, so I don't know what is that a hundred thousand people and they are dirty white guys from Florida and their perfect there
Perfect. Every note is perfect. Every fucking string is hit on the right time, the fucking, the just the magical impact of that music. Just confident. It's guys that have played to you like the this is these are the post post death you got to go and get those raided ban by mainstream rock fans and entered fact bad people of her sweet home Alabama twenty times. That's the problem out there we ve heard it so many times like oh get this off the air No, no! No! You need to step back and with fresh eyes, listen to sweet home Alabama, because that is a bucking. Beautiful are simple man, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
your son, how to grow up- and one of my favorite things about scaring- is that they were ugly as fuck and almost every song was about getting away from women. I gotta go every song. Is they call me the breeze I gotta go see. You know I need to be free. Give me a give me three steps. Yeah, the fucking song was like I gotta get out of here. See you take care right, you know, and they even made songs about their friends, trying to to get them to settle down. Well, it was class as blues, you know ugly getting way from women yup. You now at the crossroads and a lot of it is about the devil. There's just so many knuckleheads that love scanner yeah. That's the problem, the problem. The problem is, you know they died, young, okay and, You have an issue, and you have so many knuckleheads like a you, can get delusion, or that's for now glance known and unknown mad.
actually like the grateful dead, the grateful they don't do it. For me, their fans are their buzz, kill my cousin I'll them around for, like years like was a dead head. yeah her and her boyfriend with like sell food to say they always have like a little one, yeah just go from show to show and that they were just. I guess they were just enjoying that community. It must be very strange to be like an outlaw like that. Just a revel from society going from com the concert with a little tiny mini ecosystem of selling scrambled eggs. Out of the back of your car meeting with all these people and all fucking tripping together and I'll always trying to get a ticket, they would have signs up. I need a miracle. while, I was the sign that you were a real dad had not just need a marathon and and and and they'd get em, and you know it was, it was just like living from vague and tofu paddy, just Megan enough to get that fucking ticket. It's so weird.
But I get it. I get it again. Only get you know. When I get I get there's a lot of people doing. It looks like fun. I get there like, while this is like an ecosystems, is like a little community. The Egon link up to guys actually like it like know it's like everybody's happy and there are meet together and if they did know they perform these four fucking our shows and everyone's on acid. Okay. I mean I'm telling you Springsteen is a fucking experience live. I heard you two is but a grateful dead concert. I mean first of all, you're every single person is dancing not bouncing back and forth. Fucking. Doing the backstroke and and at at the like that is really intends to be surrounded by that for those that it it's all about. Yeah. its least letting go into this energy is it up. Is it has shown that requires drugs, yeah, yeah yeah,
and is it a show that you don't understand until you do then with drugs understand it? One hundred percent give her divorce feel in the world's downwards. If you go to a cat concert, I pay my wife. He pig good effect Those are always, oh god, son, that's the ugly one my wife made me go to is always bad, but then, when you say I shouldn't say math the only thing worse than Dave Matthews is John Mayer. Your wife made me go to a John Mayer and choose Eric John Mayer Mayer and he was just like to sit through I here I could do John there will not do to not things great things very talented, but if your wife is really indigo and I'm saying like she dragged you there and just stares at him
right and you're, like I paid for this thing. She just paid to have your wife close her eyes later. Think about him. Boop lay you notice, she's, not clapping, because one of her hand slipped down her jeans, she's just knuckle deep, oh jmathes, so sensitive she's, clapping with one hand it's just like it sounds like someone stabbing a seal. It sounds like one of those martialarts movies where they rip the guy's heart out fist of herself she's all the way to her elbow just written her teeth and pounded it in there get the wedding ring off she's, just like in strafing the you can see her rib cage expand as a fist goes up there. On my fucking love, you, okay, let's go
then you realise its inner ass. You thought it is it's a fucking shit to our world is twofold. do I thought we could see a cancer cells linking our chance? on you make me Meanwhile, that's not the crazy person than ever lived, no less close, no diamond goals. If you weren't, whose ain't asylum that's all they do, is clean shit up off the was all feces in the mental institutions yeah. What, They say that has something to do as a parent trial. Pro I didn't hear that I've heard a lot of there's a lot of connections between like feces abuse and sexual abuse. Right read that, though online, obviously I'm not a doctor. I know when I think about the seventies and I take a shit. I cry
When you think about the seventies and take a I exercise, molested and seventies, we're gonna shit now regular Joe performer, wasn't that good, but we had been that you thought that would be edited out. I thought we were figured out a way to move pass out. Do you guys banned in one direction, Who is this? It's a kid's band like if Tiger beat had a cover story. Oh look at these cute little bastards yeah, but I guess they're staying at the hotel across the street from the comedy store, there's all these little kids that are just hanging out there late at night, just like in groups like like, like an apple products about to get released at midnight, type, shit and they're, just mobbed everywhere, you tell fucked up is that is these guys? You know they're trying to make em look like their seventeen, but they're. Probably twenty five right
whenever I even if their twenty one, this was the land and the fans are eleven to thirteen fourteen and they want to fuck you or they don't know what they want. They want to. Let you do what you want with them right, so I was angry these guys, like looking for that one older sister, whose into a long that she should be an she's like seventeen eighteen and you want to pluck her out because other it's a nightmare, Molly feebly screaming for you and you can't go near them. Do you think that I actually want them to do what they want to them. I think they have no idea what the fuck they want. I think they want to hug them or something. You know if you're talking about an eleven year old, you know. I think they don't even realize what a guy like you means but some of them are dress like dirty horrors there, like other tasks that day, you know they be thirteen there. Then you start kind of figuring out. What do I do to eleven? How many kids at eleven know? What's going on what? If your wife, though
like it was the opposite. What if your wife was in love with I've, just in Bieber like like just a huge beemer fan, there was parents that were hanging out with these kids and they were like all like with the tea on like like freaking out off. It was just as creepy yeah makes sense. I mean he's he's a handsome bastard that Justin Justin Bieber is cute, just a do herbal, any never breaks character he's always that fucking positive guy, but guy you hear he's starting to fund up. He was he peeped, this dinner janitors, but behind in a night club. I think the pressure that do must be under must be staggering and its staggered. She was what twelve six, so you never had a chance to develop in any normal way, yet to four the the struggle is gonna, be so strange and in who gave me some insight into that, is really Schroeder. Ricky Schroeder was famous when he was like I was in the movie, the Champ six or seven or somthing Ike that
many different ask through you. Fuckin deserved. It is amazing that, but he he describes went into the park ass. He talked about he's like that's my world, I've never known and other world, and I have never known a time where I wasn't fame. So it's normal to me here like what interesting way to growers which has to be revised to kick them ass. I was gone you go who's going after reporter a reporter? Well, that's inlaid could have in hand a little better but there's a lot of big actors. The start is child actors, you'd, like Tom Cruise and What's his name? Ah, Leonardo Dicaprio, you know he was probably eleven when he started yeah and I think in a way. Maybe you can't stay at the level that a Tom cruise does, unless you just were in doctor,
it into an early, and it's all you know. Maybe this is some that seem to have gotten through it. Like I don't know, I've never had a conversation with Jody faster, but shoe strikes me as someone who got through it like fairly unscathed, she's, a lesbian is that what it is like that manage easier, that's a better transition. Now I I think that being a lesbian makes you from the lesbians, I've known and I've known some really well. I worked frail and generous for two years and I think that It makes you an outlier you're, born into being an outlier you're, already thinking about things, knowing you you don't need people's approval you're, not gonna, get it categorically see, stop seeking. That's interesting. You know cause One of the things that I always admire about talking to a fun lesbians is how there ve most like guys. Valuator make jokes and again I don't give a fuck, the other Melissa, Etheridge she's like a do
You mean- and I say that no nicest way possible, though the broadest sense of the compliment. She was she's talking about divorce and alimony and stuff. Like that, and she goes eight. You know look the bottom line? Is women are fucking? Crazy, she's just talking about getting divorced and she's talking like a dude. You know I mean, and I don't mean all women are crazy. Some of them are great, don't don't but the latter, because only last crazy, but where's beans are more like do dry like there's something anyway. He doesn't believe that that is a natural part of the way. You know the broad spectrum of of sexual attraction is a natural part of life, so never met like a bad ass lesbian. You know you never met like a militia average. If you made minimalist effigy bullock, oh yeah, oh you there that's a lesbian. We we have the same sex parents in my in my kids school, it's crazy. They have apps. No concept that to gay people shouldn't be
together anymore than like, when they heard about that that the Supreme Court overruled ruled that same sex marriage act? They were like lapping in the back of the car, why they're just like with? Why would too like Roger His parents, you know, Evans mothers like it's just fuckin normal yeah, it's it's people have this idea somehow another that there's there's different teams there's a conservative team against the liberal team If we really what you should look at the simplest way since ways. Does it hurt you and if it doesn't support it, does it do these people enjoy it. Let's support it like the idea that you would restrict people's behaviour that they enjoy because for some reason it's distasteful to you that just being an asshole. That's all! That's! that is enough. Nor did it falls into that category. A bush is tricky because you're dealing with human life and its
so tricky, because it's one of those clear pattern decision things like if you're around wing person, you are pro life, you're, a left wing person. You are pro choice. It's almost like cut and dry, like you, have to adopt these opinions to be one side or another. I think I have no not to tell anybody what they can and cannot do with their body. I have no business, I'm not a doktor. I don't know when life begins, but if you look at like of uclaf, cells together and then you look at a forming fetus. They become very different things as it becomes larger and older, so then starts to be. When when does it become become life think that's a real question and I don't think so in question or right wing question
question. You are asking in a recent way exactly it's an honesty question and it's a question that we avoid in this discussion. It's your either. If you're left wing person, you are a pro choice and you want women to be able to do this safely and you want it to be where they don't have to worry about being harassed in the parking lot. And if you're are right, wing person times of who's, the polar opposite that you take a human life, it's against the Bible. If you know a Christian, especially, he there's a lot of people to believe this is a terrible, terrible thing, so terrible dead, there's the extremists when you get on their spectrum, the extremes. That shoot. The fuckin abortion doktor, which is totally logical to me, and I understand it if I believe, if I believed that absolutely that human lives are being taken, it will be the same, to me as if I knew that there was a guy that was going to work every day and they were killing people right? I would. I would kill that person,
would be within my moral authority not by the United States LAW, but I feel the same way if somebody hurt someone in my family, rape or murder, I would a on and I would go find up her. I would arrange to have them killed and I would feel like that. Wasn't right, of me to do that? If I was absolutely sure it was, it was them right. In terms of when I went to life, begins Junior member Johnson CATS, his joke, because I believe life begins after the second cup of coffee, Jonathan Camp is asking what yeah it's it's, a question and if use bringing up like that a discussion with this guy that I really kind of respect it? I don't want to say his name, but who was the most preposterous discussion on the idea that it's just seed and then again having abortions just seed MIKE? It's not just to see its growing thing. I You leave it alone. It's going to be a person. We both know that we can play games with this and then
accuse me being right wing like immediately, and I was like that- I'm not right wing at all. But you're saying you equating into a seed. It's not a seed of feed, is something growing inside your body will be a human, a seed, does not necessarily become a tree, so you have the fuckin plant you got a water, then it becomes a sapling and then it's on its way, and if it gets the moisture, then it becomes becomes a a seed, can just sit around for a long time once You have a baby that started to grow. Then the ethical process begins the ethical question process. When is it a person? Is it person a day in when it's two cells or three cells or a hundred cells, whatever the fuck it is. Is it really Are you sure I glanced, pull them they're, real, quick, we good. Yet discussion, seems to me off it's off point being, is it it really is leg very low, Logically, it is the second. It becomes two cells
and anything in between that and birth is life then in question really is about. When is less of a bad fang. Is it sooner? You know cause to me. Feels like to say well once it has eyes or to say once it starts to delineate limbs, then you start to go. I will now you're splitting hairs, I mean either you are stopping. You know an entity from fully forming or you're, not in it doesn't matter how far down the line is in this isn't to say I am against abortion, but it like Do a joke about it. Now I say you know: women are like I asked the women how many women are pro choice. They all clap. How many to have had abortions. Nobody claps I go. There's problem with your fuckin cause. How are you going to really fight for cause? You wanted me that you actually do. I said you be proud of this ship. You should see like
should see like those silhouette or the family members in the back of your mini van, it's just an x through one of them a good time. You did the San Francisco right and it just to me it feels like now that might come off his anti abortion, but it's not it's anti put your head in the sand like own it if your gun fuckin do it. Oh the same way that I would own masturbation. If you tried to make any legal I'd, be like fuck, you be ashamed to this, but I'm fighting for my right to have. I can see the cover of the article on writing on Jezebel right now, Emmy Award Award Winning Writer connects masturbation. Abortion. Look we're all ashamed, lady, we're both cleaning up afterwards. How dare you this is where we women, who are like really militant we'll get furious. Like you know, you can have
Fucking have a conversation about it, because the option is available to you. You're not gonna, have a fuckin body growing inside of your body and you're, not gonna, be the person who gives birth and my answer would be. I've never, seed in a check with that protection dummy? Oh, did you get packed? How dare you? How dare you yell at someone so vulnerable and confused in the middle of a crisis you exploding on a stranger one? I would love love love it's hard to do, but sometimes we need to do to fix the world. You can't you can ever say. Why didn't you just about the past and have it sound good? Why didn't you just get your shit together? Why didn't you just call me, because I was stuck in suicide? I don't want to talk to anybody to say that it's dark when you say if you say suicide, around people, that's the best way to get the party stopped everyone's having a good ever since I've been suicidal cricket
no, no, We want to be around somebody who wants us and life on their own terms. For some reason it's very disturbing to us yeah most likely because of you if you're looking to kill yourself, when you give a shit, die too. I don't know suicide bomb yourself right didn't, did you do what's that show factor, Patriot show waitress deal, one are not inherit nature, the one the fuckin deal They will only homework on yet seen every episode, fascinating, fuck fuck, you and analyze spoiler alert, but the those beside vein, the holy Shit, That's an Emmy award winning perform shit. I dont- want to say anything more than address to say as a euro malware watch, one of the best actors out their holy shit. What I've seen I mean they did. The cast an eye Mandy Patinkin I'd always heard his name, but I thought he was like some theater. He he's not
he's a fucking, we're he's to too. I know, but that made me think that he was just like. You know four of a better word, like you know, a Homosex, oh hey over here, which isn't bad. I just meant. I dismissed him as like a cabaret singer and I didn't realize he was like a brilliant actor yeah many betancur beast. He was also in the princess bride. He was no Montoya right to kill my father, prepare to die he was a bad mother. Fucker many battalions been a bad mother fucker for a long time he's a brilliant actor and he plays at that characters. It's just and work of art. It is a work of art mean that what the subtlety in his delivery signed the the real moments when he actually gets upset that tangible feeling that you have when this really measured guy has to cut loose and get crazy right
What a show and- and you know you talk about- characters being layered. It's like there's so many different things going on with him between his troubled marriage, his relationship, because where day in which he knows is wrong, and yet he believes in her and he's a company man in the end yeah, it's there. So many things going on with him and he plays all of them at the same time. Yeah it's so it's so hard to believe that I mean and again spoiler alert, I'm not gonna say, but it's so hard to believe the plot lines. They've pulled off like the idea, that they put forth there. Playing that out and then running away from the tv don't get the fuck out of here like they haven't had me, go, get the fuck out of here once well, I felt. Twenty four was like that: twenty four you had to suspend your disbelief a little bit more because I was a little bit more of action. It was physical action more right, but it was the same kind of storylines shit that you would really go like an eye.
That's why I love that John Rye love born supremacy. I like it when you gotta, go like yeah they're, not write a motive for us a rift but fuck man. It's this is on the watch mean even if its preposterous, this the born identity, one. What's the last one The latest one is the the not it's the one. That's not Matt Damon the other I didn't see the new guy, Jeremy, Renner Jeremy, Renner yeah and he's like jumping off top of buildings and land people's next twisted I'm on the way down. I mean it's, the most ridiculous shit of all time he's like this. These the greatest Olympic athlete the world has ever known, he can do yes, yes, the things he can do like in the movie or kind of stuff, yeah yeah anything everything he does whatever he flies to. The I mean it proposes.
like the way he can that body? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah he's on he's the hyper level of it they cooked it up or like yeah. No, no he's more like a superhero yeah like what he can do with his body is ridiculous, like he literally could jump off buildings and land on people's heads catch himself and buildings on the way down drop on their head and snap him and fucking flip flip over a beating Ferrari. That's coming at him. Tuck under this arm, grab that turn it towards him or kill everybody in front of him flip over him. When the car is coming at him, I mean it's just I always was like have your broken and in the next scene, chase somebody down. That's always my favorite, I'm always keeping track of how injured, because at my like, I get injured just get. Taking a shit, I can get injured and I'm watching this guy, you know finger must be broken from that. I got gouge out from that and he's still at the top of his game and the last scene. yeah, they d be a well no shows there is get that streak of blood that comes off the eyebrow big one.
with the key is, is these exhibited the acting every Matt Damon is just a guy, he can do comedy drama Roma he's fucking, believe he's a beast You put him into a role like that and he raises the state Have you believing in yeah yeah area, while he was so good? that he played Liberace Lover and you believe that you know yeah I mean Matt, Madam, is about motherfucker, and this elysium is that what is called the new futuristic movie Elysium New, Elisa Lacy Alicia that look Austria. I know what that is. I don't know if it's good, but it looks one of those few actors where you know some of these guys get paid twenty twenty five million dollars a picture and you think that's not worth it. There's very few people that, I will go see my fucking need to read a review of the movie. Don't care to the directors, Matt Damon Senate, I will does say yeah. He always makes a good choice right. The movies are always do so. Oh something really good about the movie. Yeah lose the one move away played a complete total liar.
He was. He was. flying around a lot right. The curious of rye. What the fuck was that damn it now I got to go to I that Imdb, which I never like to do was back with you, I m D, be man not impressed hose, that's what people its of rice, like it now to Hollywood. Deuce thing have been here: I am deeply about. Natalie That Imdb has a star ranking here is the most grotesque Hollywood sign. You can pay extra you pay an extra ten bucks a month, for I am db pro and you can I look up Joe Rogan, and it will you you will be numbered from one to like ten million in Hollywood based on the amount of sir. is for your name. You know times bent on your website. It's all factored in and you get a relic. Usually you know like a MAC. and might be number three, and I am be like number forty, six thousand or something
so I know this. Forty six thousand people higher up in the food chain in Hollywood than I am, and you can look up any You have a meeting with somebody. You can look up what their fucking ranking is in Hollywood. That's so ridiculous just something that people would get caught up in and then it would wine of becoming really gross you just get caught up in it and lose your fuckin marbles higher mark. getting team to urge. You say you go up in the wrangling. I need to get my public internet profile. You're in the rankings. It's very important. I can't find the name of this fucking movie, but too crazy is like, with with these times where I go through tweets Ike, humble on something that makes me laugh and I'll write out like five six seven tweets in twenty minutes, and then I won't tweet for like five days and then I'll see like the number of people. Follows you will jump when you write tweets and
it doesn't at all when you don't see realize, like you really it's great to people are They really are reading that shit. Oh yeah man, if you're, if your interesting to follow like people, send you interesting things as well? Look one of the beautiful things about twitter that it's like an exchange ya like I retweet a lot of shit and I retreat that people send me that that are interesting, like someone will send me some crazy story about some new scientific discovery and then I'll immediately retweak that, and so it encourages people to do that because they like being retweeted because they'll get more followers that way and if you have cool shit on your tweet, your twitter page, like people who have you no no show business connections at all. They just have developed a file following have like significant numbers of twitter, just based on their own area, without any yes, someone finds out about it or you tweet something someone famous and they retreated someone finds out about it. Then, before you know it, you have liked this little community that you ve developed, a people writers is on tv, are getting jobs from from Twitter feeds.
Or then specks grip. That's a may. You hear about it all the time this dude, you know he went to you, know: cholera. State University and he just used a tweet a lot and then he he AEGIS, gets fuckin. They solicit him. You know you will have two hundred thousand followers and they'll say: do you want to write on how I met your mother and the guy? Does it and then he kills himself? That's amazing. Do you imagine writing on how I met one of those shows sitting in a room with twelve other people fighting to get one line into a horrible screw, but Folks are no that arose. A gear must be really fork and hard working on tv must be terrible. Skis Minois go the coal mine that's obviously worse, but doesn't take away from the fact that being a show that socks is torture,
well, and I only say that because, as comedians we get to say whatever the fuck we want the weekend, we can get immediate feedback nobody's, giving us notes or criticism, and then you take that and you go into a you- have an office, some people will come buying up. Ok already in the writers room, and you have to stand up and walk in and sit down stay in their further for hours. until they go. Okay, you guys can have lunch. It's just your whole, Life turned upside down and again this isn't to complain about it. I'm just saying compared to stand up. Yeah oh yeah stand up is the greatest job. The world has ever known an hour, a night yeah and just riding in the day and usually it's fun, even the right, even the stuff. If I got to write when you start writing and it clicks- that's a fun fee.
Feeling right, it's really fun and the and the excitement of them knowing yeah like you're driving to the club, and you got like three pages- a new shit yeah. You got like a little bomb that you know you can drop, that's a great feeling, it's so fun and you're it's also people love that feeling. I love that feeling of laughing at some Like I'm still, a huge fan of stand up like one of my favorite things to do, is to go. Watch stand up. That's one of the reason why I was really fun. Those dates that you and I did together. I got to watch you and laugh, and I hadn't seen a lot of your stuff in a while. It was really fun. Yeah yeah in stand up is a just a it's a big. Little full exchange. I was just the Montreal Comedy Festival. I saw his all these deeds that I heard about an and hadn't seen for whatever Rica's. You know we're on the road at the same time, but you know Kyle can aim I dont know. I know we same thing- don't have seen him and he was fuckin gray like it like a stand up to kind of guy. Just so you know a boozer who taught
really honestly about the darkness of his life and but has the chops of a real stand up yeah I saw him dude, I've seen him do one set and it was at the improv and it was very funny yeah, but it was a long time ago. I was several years ago it that's hard for me to remember his twitter. Avatar is my cat. It's your cat wouldn't really here. That's funny, in the vote on the driving around. In this way I am holding techie. That's. Where is well, it's tough to beat acute cat and I went and we did we. I did it appealing to look up. You know they have gala, where you got to go and perform for like three thousand people and they show it around the world. Oh yeah and Dane Cook was like they have a host for it. You know celebrity host and Dane Cook was the host. When I was doing the you know right, and usually you draw old people.
It's like a seven o'clock show in Montreal, it's like an old jewish town, and I have fucking choked on my own semen in front of these crowds, and this time it was like Danes fans and they were young and fucking excited. He went out and killed first and it was all Boston. Guys was Bob. Kelly me Gary Gorman, one Dane Alonzo Boden in Harlem Williams, everybody had a great time. It was such a fuckin relief. cool. Now I think that whole old people thing that's from a different era. I've been here and that the this, the comedy festivals, have skewed younger and younger. These days this one particular show the gas just because every day, any taping, no no I'm saying they they do,
like seven gallons during the week and each night they do one so the one I was on had a much younger crowd than the other ones during the so they did have ones with a lot of older fee, because it's a tape tv show, so they buy the tickets way in advance because I always felt like the people that had been going to the comedy festival were sort of. There was a lot of like when we started going. first time I went to think was ninety three. There is still that pushed the tv clean, and they Also, like the gala was only tv clean, so I know to work it so I'd but from one I would think now is that you see all these cuts. from the thing and then it's on the internet and then stand up comedy, becomes like more and more popular, which I think stand up. Comedy is probably at one of its more popular times. If you stop and think about like how many really good comedians are right, now it's unbelievable!
blew me away in Montreal, I was like there's a hundred comics here and they're all fucking good yeah, and I would think that it would be a lot of young people that would show up now to these things I see the other ones like I did Moon Tower, which is in Austin Texas back in like April or may, and that was very young, and then you get some by south West I mean. Could shallow does a comedy stage bumbershoot, Seattle. Chicago has big One, SAM Cisco, has a sketch fast, You know it's hilarious, that some of them don't pay the artist glitter in Montreal pays doesnt Petya Montreal pays, they ve always paid. They paid back in nineteen? Eighty three my first are doing, but like south southwest doesn't give you anything now, in the only reason I did moon towers. I was headline in CAP City in Austin that weeks I was making my headliner money and I was part of the festival at the same time. Did you do shows before? After your shows, a cab city? I know
I would do you know eight o'clock show Thursday to Friday to Saturday, but but then after my shows, I would go. Do like midnight shows, but then also the people at the festival with the bureau they, the customers, they would do have a laminate. They go see my show maybe, and then I see Posen show after that it was part of the whole thing. Wow. That's awesome. Man sounds like a good time. You should do it because they do some theatre shows, and it is a fuckin cool, likes stand, hope was there hung out with ten? No I'm thinking TAT, Roads was air like guys, I never fuckin, see right and end the crowds. I mean work, asked another great crowds I was just there s a five or six months ago. You gotta do moon tower I'll. Do it? If I can so fuckin business, does he have a disk as this is a rejuvenated week where airlines it shall you feel you walk?
You ve seen some good new comedy reconnect with some friends, Dunstan, Ghisola Gay, a comedian meeting hub right, yeah. That's what Montreal is felt like that bar that clearly rather the delta guy that bar That's right. Yeah bars always been It can be landmines, though, because you never know we you're gonna run into that one shitty club on or who's gonna, be in your face or gay comedian, who's drunk and ruthlessly aggressive. In pursuing you the only time of every how Myra now DOM can kiss me I'm penetrate, but I want to give you a geographic eleven plant pool on Sunday. Looking forward to it. I love seeing him he's somebody I always see at the clubs too, like I'll, be at the improv at one in the morning he walks in yeah DOM's legit to the to the end. He's a legit standup comedian. Always working always has a notebook with them always got new shit. You know he's just always.
And he's got that energy before he goes on just the way. Good comic still still not nervous, but get up higher focused, he loves it and he's always loved it. We friends diamond I've been friends since ninety three. I met him in ninety three when I did the festival in Montreal and then We became friends after we ran into each other at Amsterdam Billiards. yeah, because I didn't done that, show with the, but that was thefirst time. I've ever met him and he's the host of it. It was a Showtime thing and then, when we went to play in Amsterdam I found out he can play pool banners yeah the in the old one. Remember the old one that was on the upper West side that one was awesome beautiful, so I've been friends with Don, since I guess it was like ninety three he's always been that way, so he's been like a real comic and he's like the Don Gavin of LA he will talk to any young comic, be funny with them bust their balls yeah and treats you with he says nice things to you, don't get another that his compliment. You, if you do a new better, he likes his beautiful purse.
A rare with with all my heart, his beautiful, I love being around on these fuck hilarious because it's a sweet, warm guy, some say the other. Ninety guess I'm at the age where, if I died of natural causes, people go another other. He said he said I wish I was gay just so I could come out of the closet. That's how little I give a fuck, I'm bored. I need something fun do with either. He really does not care what people think about here. He's happy with who he is he's, not the struggling with that so yeah, plus his organic, so he's like whatever I don't give him a fuck. I knew he quit drinking for a little while now I asked well, he got a little out of the he was a little out of control slightly, but not nothing smart enough to like pull back on his own, and then he resumed casual drinking
I think, look it's easy. You're, a single guy you're in clubs every night, and he's in clubs. Almost every night sees it is their drinking. A lot it's fun, it's fun, you have it time. Then you have a couple shots now, you're having a great time, but you know the crushing a fact that has on your body over and over and over again its re bad for him. I mister Lincoln man FUCK. I just had my family stay with me for a week, my sister, her husband who drinks. And my niece and nephew and my mother, all stay in my my wife, nine of us crying. You know what and I miss drinking as they would all drink a lot at nice, they go through bottles and bottles of wine and my brother in law go through couple: six packs but wise while and
and so you start to really feel it like. Even my wife who doesn't drink, a lot was drinking every day, I'm all alone, I'm drinking nonalcoholic beers and I'm playing fucking Playstation with my kids, because I can't relate to people get people get to and dumb and boring when they drink. I'm sorry nice at first, but if you're the over one. Everybody gets emphatic about their point of view, and an overly zealous about simple thoughts, and are you just start to feel yourself squeezed out? They start to feel people are looking to you like you're, the up
guys you can't have a good time, and so I want to go counterpoint on what you just said. Unless everyone drinks the cool aid, it's not fun. Well, it depends on who you're drinking with if you're drinking with idiots you're gonna have that role in about my family, I'm talking about your family, I'm calling an idiot, I'm calling mine too my wife, it everyone's an idiot, I'm an idiot too you're an idiot as well. It's all in the level of idiot right and with a certain level of idiot when they get drunk it becomes really boring yeah because it became comes. Oh you're, not really good. At this, I see what we're doing so. We're going to do here is we're going to play a game that you suck at. It's like two facts playing basketball and neither one of them have any experience. They're, gonna bounce it around looking stupid and and for a person that can communicate well and is sober. It's a real problem. It's you're dragging me into the month. You want to say to them. Look at the top of your game. I strugg well to find you interesting now, you're drunk but
or counterpoint is some people are cool as fuck when they're drunk yeah, some people are fun to talk to when they're drunk. They tell you hilarious stories and they flow good. It just loosens them up enough, so they can catch a wave You don't judge yourself as much to the real you can come out here. You can catch a wave and of you cut one of those social waves. It can be really fun and any gotta maintain that wave and rang like correct. You have to know don't under feed it don't overfeed it there it some it's a tricky thing. Man drinking correctly is like something so much teach you yeah. I really envy you because you seem to really enjoy it. When I see you do it, but yeah you don't have to do it all the time that must be so nice yeah, and I recognize that it's most likely a genetic thing. The most I
my friends, my father died. Fifty three is an alcohol three out of four, my grandparents, all my aunts and uncles and there's so much evidence as far as like American Indians, who didn't have an exposure to it's also their livers and irish livers process. Alcohol, alcohol, yeah well because they have, a long history of use to think with what happened with the native Americans. Is they weren't drinking is much alcohol and nearly as much as the Westerners Kenya. So when the
it to them. This is like a drug that had no social experience with, which is always a big one. You know it looks like remember when you were a teenager, the first time you got drunk how terrible you were at it. It takes a long time to know where your tolerances are, how to do it, not to be a sloppy bitch. It takes a while to in general, are not a good idea and when you just go straight to hard liquor and you're thirty and you've been eating fucking deer that you chase down and killed right, yeah and all of sudden you're just drowning and whiskey yeah, and you have no experience. No cultural experience to fall back on. Oh grandpa told me what this was about when you get drunk what you're gonna do is start off slow boy make sure you got food in your stomach. That's gonna feel there's non of that going on. No one even knows what the fuck it is yeah and then the white Man forces it on them because they realize how pliant they become when they're drunk. So I was like we'll pay you in whiskey. and sign this fuck entreaty Gimme New York for a nickel taken a lot of the lot of than real estate deals, we're done drunk where
it's a high class hotel Donald Trump, just fuckin sauced, you up. Are you in India well how much they pay for Alaska was a good deal where they buy from the Russians of the believe they bought it. Russians and irrational, like listen. We are more than we can handle you want. I just bought guide. Take that's! But when you look it's one of the most ridiculous ideas ever that that that another is a part of America. No second, most ridiculous idea: Hawaii, yeah. Why is very definitely told me: there's like a hundred countries closer to Hawaii and in the United States, and we treat it like I'd, somehow leg I don't know the history, I mean it's almost We saw it and we went we ever going to take that. Then you guys You guys can be citizens, you can vote, you can come here. Meanwhile, we got Mexico lined up against the border were like you can't fucking come here yeah, but Hawaiians come on well, Mexico is way better. you're a wise is just a few little tiny islands and people seem nice and they nodded.
Copying and the ground just find work this out for the military and everybody who has seen a feed on their women defeat beautiful little feet? Yeah nay. They do that. Hula, dance, woe, Hulu, dances, the car, yeah! Isn't it I was there. I skirts the grass grew. My wife took me to luau and we're in Hawaii, and I fucking, I hate anything: commercial and tourist, these pursuing you're in Hawaii in your hiking in the rain forest focus, serving as like we're going to a so I was passed so I smoke to join and not even a joint. I smoked a couple heads you know, and then I just fucking sat in the front row of the luau and their feet. The women's feet were like three: feet in front of me. You know they're kind of like rolling on the toes and moving around on them. Did you get hard? Did you get hard, yeah wow, just by looking at the feet you don't like nice, I do yeah absolutely feel. I hear you coming from its weird,
thing that, like we, we value that like what is that genetically is it? What is that I think to me it's that they're hidden people, wear shoes, so it's almost like nudity like I'm, not supposed to see your little bus and it's they move around like fingers, but they're weird, because you hide them most of the time their finger. Ride. I gonna leather creepy right. I got a massage yesterday and I had my head in the little donut thing and I was looking down and this asian woman. She was barefoot and she had, I'm sorry, but asian feeder, better white women feet are all fucked up. They're, like the you know, one toe is like an inch longer than the other, or did you jerk off to this? Yes right, yeah for sure yeah, you know what's really sad to me, is when women get that thing where their toes start, pointing towards the big toe starts pointing left or right. The
or to yeah from jamming their feet in the in that just smush them. Well, it's genetic also. Is it really yeah? Oh, so you can get it without those shoes right. It's just a bone grows out and it's like a bone, so so the same thing or happen both ways, so there you get it naturally or you can get it from shoes. I owe you can get it naturally, but I've seen it run in Pham. I think you'll get it from shoe. I think it's all natural because I have, I think, some public by ridiculous Malta like the retarded toe. I want you to know that goes on the early, as now as the now as I take, the right turned right turn out stacked on the one. Next stack that I really liked gonna like why you weren't flip flaps, your toe is all fucked up put some shoes. I saw this one lady of age. She was an old lady and she had it was like it was a sketch in an in living color, moving like her tongue, we're so fucked up like
going over each other and crossing fingers. I mean I had never seen anything like it. It was like, like a picket fence that got hit with a missile, I mean the whole thing, it was all just collapsed over itself and it was like she was throwing gang signs with her feet. It was one of the most ridiculous things. I'd ever seen in my life is on the end of her feet. I mean they were tangles. It is true. I think you got to earn a pair of flip flops you got to really take a good Can you feel like an asian foot there the toes are, does a perfect arc. It's like a thirty three degree, curvature from the big toe to the pinky, the pig. Is well laid out with a full. Now there's, there's no fuckin coloration of the nails themselves a thin ankle, and then you get on a real on a good southeastern asian, you get like a bull punish tanish on the top and then the sides it become
very light like almost like a mill of vanilla, wafer and, is that from the lack of the will to live. We have a. We were wrong. It's a running in an equally it's binding in union that hammer toe is when girls, the very end of their their digit. They protrude the come ball job right. That is from shoes. Guy that's hammered, tell that's a different thing and abundant is when the bodies now has a curve on the site. You have a toe, takes a turn towards the towards the other, toes the big toe hooks right or left. and it gets worse. This there's actually disagreement among medical professionals about the cause of onions. Some see them, as primarily caused by long term use of shoes, particularly tight, fitting shoes it tells, while other believe the problem stems from genetic factors that are exacerbated by shoe use. Yeah, you know, could be very possibly
it's ok! I would tend to think that it might be shoes because I think It's way more women than I seed on men. I cannot believe. Women put on those stiletto type shoes. I mean I like it, but I get them and I go man go up what a price to pay all like. Even when I'm out of the club all night my feet or can tired, I'm words snakes and then to think that your perched up on this thing that your toes jammed into and you're at a forty five degree angle, it's really archaic to It's crazy Brian. What was that last one the woman had like fingers for toes. Would it pull that video back again? That was ridiculous lost it that's a lie as women and women are, they showed three seconds ago they can finally boss. Looking infinitely began
it man, black women, tend to grow there. We go what the fuck man listen. I don't want to see this. Some guys are instant. I want to see some dude, he just came from the gym or like they walk in dirt and the guys like them yeah. they like that. Hey come on right for real. I don't want to see this, but the black women tend to grow the big Tonia longer, which bothers me is sexy. Do you taste want snort some coke off the big toe? I want to, let you know they're ready to party you baby, you want to tell blast. Have you ever seen the photo where a woman, an african american woman, has gigantic tone All of them- and it says, ghettos, daily narrowly, I don't look up. toes toes no that's not what we're looking at look. There's images! Do a Google image search he's just trying to sneak in dude sucking on tones creep dog and Jose said the funniest fucking thing the other day. He was joking around
bout, someone, someone who is attractive, but was mean I was saying something stupid on Fox NEWS and he was like. Stop talking just put your feet. My mouth I'm telling you crying laughing on the phone? Is the creepiest thing? Look at that? That's guess! Dan! Okay can imagine her just walking like on a wooden floor. Just the sound of her nails hitting I could it'd be hot, but fetish is going to take off and I believe started with me. I've been talking about for two years publicly, I think, he's been around for a long time. It's been around I'm talking about it. Going mainstream you've been talking about it longer than two years man. Maybe we have you ever had a foot in you Greg now
one of the times that we did your serious show you were, you were talking about having a foot fit and it was a long time ago and the funny thing is: I don't act on it like I've. Never I've never like sucked on someone's toes and it's I enjoy looking at them. So do you enjoy looking them in real life as much as on video or on video, more than real life, which one in real life I'm on to look at all the time. All the time you just store the memories, I'm looking down a lot and here's what I also do. If I see a woman, I predicted my head whether she has open toad sandals and what the feeder gonna look like and I'm pretty right on it. a woman has really really pretty will. Will you store that and then jerk off to them later, never never can't store shop. For Eric. I need immediate his high right in front of you. There's never been a time where you took a few days off and you really had to build up now
no one? I only watch foot porn brised that our aim is that of gross shit. Infected pus come here when I was I only watch did because Belladonna is a friend of mine, Vinos Civil put foot foot soldiers is her whole. She single hurt. You just got single now shared about. Maybe it's not known, but that's good yeah her husband's a good did idea. So that's always a bad thing. He what he that's a tough! So right that is a stranger one it happened with some terror, Patrick and that dude the rocker dude yeah, I was in all porn. He was news, fascinating one. guys like that, like Mary Appoint star, but she still works, but now he fucks her and all the films
couple. Couple of who is know now he's with that. Little loophole girl they now out and he got Lope life within within a month that he broke up a terra, Patrick he's within their porn star managing her and he likes it. Does he only banger, or did she bang other dude? I have no idea how to total Patrick he can you tell me because I was, I call hosted the porn awards with terror Patrick's. I went to her house one time and he was there and I asked My go so? Are you allowed to fuck around like now? I dont he goes this one massage place. I go to right over here in the valley, and you know I get jerked off at the end, but that's it anyway, terror goes there from assizes too, and I was I do know that aid for control, but that was their press release on the issue. Who cares That could easily be true. I think that could be true. I did it with my ex both went to the same at the same, time. Why did they do get mad at you before as I said, to loop Bay,
notice that she was back in town. I was like hey. I would really like to get you on that that podcast I do a Dan Deerman, Triplex Quad and He wrote back. Look mother fucker! I told you she does not want to do your stupid shit bubble like to start going off for me like five tweets, and then I wrote back. Like did sorry. Just ass, if she want to do a park as I would help her out and then, like all these people, twitter distorting like going what the fuck it was like a six month go then. He eventually apologize sent me a direct message. Like sorry man, here's my email address. Bob lie that you're somebody else, and I think some guy I get, I think you get, she gets harassed a lot. By course you does. Man has been part, of course, could you imagine being a porn star on the internet and having everyone just build a tweet, you fuck ensure those poor. Women must have to deal with awesome. I gather that because the sexual repression that we have like they take the brunt of it like like, if anybody
this country is, if you're allowed to call them a slaughter. Can't it's like a porn star, it's like things that guy say to pour I've. Seen some shit guys said the princess. I brought you some girl being your feed complaining like it's hard to believe some. The fuckin creeps that tweet me and then you know, and then you go to her twitter page and see her responding. Then you read the things that they're saying a mean fucking hard. This creepy share that you are not allowed to learn. I am exactly you're only loudest in their mind, like it's. It's rare that I think a girl like What's pick a name of famous actress who feel around who's on Twitter, though Jenny, Mccarthy, yeah any begin with. Carthage gets hate because of like the virus thing vaccination thing It's a lot of heat, because that riotous read some whole article about this. This, the doktor was actually running an article about how unfair it is and how much heat she takes for having a controversial
assessment on vaccinations yeah. I think that it was irresponsible to her it's very responsible, but it's also what she really believed. You know she really believed it at the time. I don't know if she still does, but then I look, tat all the things that have been caused by vaccination and that's why another one of those abortion type things it's like vaccinations for sure are not just beneficial. They probably extended the life of many p. This country they've stopped stopped. Diseases like polio, nip that basically in in the bud, know measles and Bob in a lot of places, because I am a firm believer. I'm a firm believer, don't get me wrong, but people have been damaged by vaccines, that's a fact too. It's a small percentage and most scientists believe that it's worth the risk, but there's people that have been damaged
by vaccines that are no longer on the market and no longer available right, Glaxosmithkline used to have a vaccine for line disease, but the problem is if you have your only you can only only safely- can take fix this vaccine. If you have a certain jean of your lacking a certain gene, and they have to run this like Jean examination on, they have to find out what it is a sorry for butter and thus, but my friends. Dad got line disease from the fuckin vaccine we're gonna. They were gonna, be hiking, they're, gonna, Livein, Connecticut to good preemptive. He took it preemptively and it gave him fucking lime disease. All of sudden, the guys like bones her lime disease is the most poorly prescribed Disease can get they they can go after it cycle after cycle of hard core, and sometimes antibiotics is sometimes it just Jason. They can't get it and it fox you leaving
They need a lot of research on that, because it's getting worse, you know the first case of it was less than twenty years ago. He sat right, yes in life, Connecticut the alarm diseases report. deadline, disease. I believe in twenty one years old wow. I think they had never had it before or was undiagnosed before or it mutated. No one knows exactly, but it's connected to this weird thing called more javelins. Have you ever heard, more jobs, It's one of things. We investigate the part on this site. I show, and what was interesting about. It was doctors. dismiss it right away. I get someone about more challenge. I talked like a really smart. Do you about more jealous, more challenging us. We were kind of crazy and I had been more Jones Conference, and I talk to doctors who have more challenge and one of the weird things is that almost all of them also have line disease So this line disease when the Texas such nasty comments that they have
host of pathogens that they carry with them lime, disease being one of them, but there may be a bunch of undiagnosed, tagalongs and more jealous might be one of these. These poor fucking people, man they. What are the effects of it? First of all, it makes you crazy. There's it fucks. Your head aligns disease. Does that yes, neurological gas it it? It hurts there their way. They look at the world and one of the dock, an attack was talking to me about Neuro toxicity about how it has certain minority existing. We got pretty then do it on the show its how do we Fastnet? Meanwhile, we don't fuckin need dears while other being carried now in mice as much as the dogs to you know. The people We have never been around an area where this is a real issue, would never understand it, but like Upstate New York, it's a real fucking problem me dear, a lot of deer and they carry ticks in those ticks get on people and you get lime, disease and you're. Fucked
and you know you like bright lights, her your joints hurt. I gets it good. Fucking slow down, got it and she had to go in once a week for antibiotics and she got died, bees from it a whole list of ship plus extreme exhaustion. She turned she would be up six seven hours a day and so oh you know what got rid of it, my hysterectomy she needed hysterectomy, and so she got it and Then they found her line. Disease was gone few months ago and the document oh yeah, yeah that happens and she's like so ten. Fifteen years I've been walking around exhausted in pain, getting disease As a woman who was, you know, fifty, obviously not having more kids and the doktor didn't bring up debt hysterectomy get rid of this disease. How does a hysterectomy get rid of the disease? I think it changes your estrogen levels or something I don't know exactly.
And again, I have to do a preamble when I do any sort of east recorded spoken thing I don't know much. As I say I do so many times. I will put out information that's wrong, but I will do it with full confidence. Yeah the story of my life. If you want to google this entire interview, you will find no let in three major errors have said, and if you want to tweet a tweet me about its at Gregg, Fit, show point them and I will acknowledge like Sunday PTA who's, the doctor, Sanjay Gupta, I will admit was wrong. It's beautiful Greg! Why not I changed my mind on we'd by Sancho Gupta about away. Can I my dates. Yeah. When are you are somewhere, I'm gonna be coming up and stand obliged. You know the club gloved Arizona appraises huge whenever it well, I'm there next week
August fifteen through seventeen fifteen to seventeen and I just booked the date weeks ago. So I need I need the fucking. I need the odd Pierre Lemme, now two or three more, but you know about it. To send mail tweeted well, and I have a one hour, special calmly, central, coming out of your eighteenth at midnight. Would you film it too, to New York, where I grew up here from eighteen, eighty, five, that was in disrepair when I was growing up, so it used to be a movie theater. I went to see fucking herby the love bug there and then they restored it and it's it's got like all the orange made shared in the balcony and its right. Also like my family was there. My friends and Westchester, just fucking turned out kids. two grammar school with in high school college. It was an amazing I really magic. That's also me up you really.
Getting into doing stand up again, like you really loving it again for a long time. He did a lot of writing right. Were you weren't doing nearly as much stand up? No, and you know it's funny, I talked to Dana Gool recently about it because you know he took time the same time. I mean he stopped entirely when he did the Simpsons and now he's back in the last five six years- and you know, as everybody knows, just one of the most respect- comics among comics, but does not have the d a claim a country that he should because he started a grant. He stopped when he was like he was a really respect him, whom we were coming up right, who is like Rios Passionate gray, comic rise to really in a new and interesting com, and I mean interesting points of view and very unique guy. Then he stopped to was writing for the Simpsons right yeah, one Amy's made a ton of fucking dough and also like you had kids wanted to be around a bit so so for me. I feel like I never stopped, but I was splitting my time for twelve years. I've worked
tv shows every year, but have also done on a slow year, still twelve, we in the year and on a good year, I'm still like this year. I'll do twenty six weekend Twenty six is nice that right every two weeks ago in the road yeah, that's it should be. That's good! That's that keeps you from freak out. If you're one of those, maybe when, twenty one. You could go on the road for like a month and a half or two months, but I could offer those things like. Let's do a bus tour like fuck, you Why do you want a bus tour for how many days we do or do a week we go to Fuckin Madison was concept just route it. So you got like two hours between each gay bill berwin or to do some. I thought you wanted to go to a really shitty places. He like frowned bunch, a real shitty place and send it to me. I looked at the text. thank God,
the places, are not worth going to right. You could mix it up. You do a really good city, and then you do a small one. I would do it just to do shows with him or do you you would do and Galileo Abear Brian open you half an hour. Twenty three points I want to do a Dallas, Houston, Austin like just to do just go up. Tax I think Dallas and ass there too much the same market there only an hour away now, say market Fucking now people in Texas will come out. If you know they know great for sims is only going to be in Austin they'll drive from Dallas right, it's on the same market. This they're both big cities. There's plenty of people in Austin plenty of people in Dallas. That CAP city in Austin is one of the greatest clubs in the history of the world. It's such a great fucking club and the people that run it are cool. Well, it's real like they support the art form. It's like a legit. support of the art form club and when to
a town needs. You need a club like that, and then you need a community and then you need an open mic night and then boom. You need a manager that is going to get the effort to making MIKE night and they don't make money on it. So it's an investment in the local talent. Basically, you're saying you know the way, the way SAM, Cisco does and Denver does you're saying we're going to have our a team locally, we're to teach guys how to do it on an open mic night support them and make them opening act when they're good enough and then they start to create their own satellite rooms and coffee houses and whatever, and then you ve got it need a boner knows that I know This comic- he knows me, you see people to go act. The San Francisco punchline myself, included. I go in for way less money than I work anywhere else gets its small room, yet I fuck it because I love it Molly and you're in a city, you love in the middle of it. and so I think that it smart for club- to establish these relationships and give the support to the community because it pays back yeah
it does pay back. It does, and I think that it's the best way to to support stand up and to keep the form alive, because it's hard for a person to go from being just a guy who want to go on stage for the very first time say in Indianapolis. You know like an art is not easy to develop a comedy career out of there, and try to deep even get time locally is very good, let's you're doing your own rooms and then to do it start getting book nationally, good fog, You have! There are some sort of a draw to get booked in an you mean unless you find someone a piggy back with, like someone thinks you're funny that takes you with them as a middle act or an opening act, good, fuckin, look at and booked anywhere and youth you with, because I think for a lot of feature acts they come in If somebody with a headliner club sometimes resent that and you dont get book back as a feature. You think that you're gonna showcase for them as a feature for the headliner, but you know, depending on
club, sometimes they would rather book their own features and they certainly they have a chip on their shoulder against that person, girl was telling me the story about this guy someone couldn't make a show, so they leave had to call for a replacement and time line or use. Will Thomas the headlines in the Middle ACT couldn't make it and so tomorrow, to use his body whose in town and the man like? No, no, no, I already got someone coming and she's like you know. I prefer to use them and he's like, but I already I mean touch this guy's five minutes away. He could be here. What turns The guy was someone that she was fucking right, so she wanted to get her boyfriend to work as a mental but he's like, but this is the unity, and this is my show like. I don't want this guy's terrible yet and so too. WS forced to work with this guy, the last time he worked with him. He said he did forty five minutes and then was selling t shirts at the end, like had this big pitch for people to go, buy his shirts, it was like the grossest thing ever and so you know no he's got a fucking work with this guy again, it's one of the big bummers
about doing the road if you dont have full control the show. So you can't If you do the road like, I do the road we do, the road, it's all our friends and then it becomes a party. It's like we we might as well, if we're in Montreal or for in Florida. It's the same party. It's like we're moving all over the place, but it's the same party and it forces you to get out of your room and go to a decent restaurant for dinner. Things become more of an event, whereas, if I'm alone yeah, I will lead at Starbucks breakfast and lunch. That's how I am it's a very lonely thing working on the road alone for like three or Four days in a row is very lonely. He I'd like it because you like you, I got kids in the house and even though I have an office, it's different when I'm on the road I fuckin I get up late, but awake when I'm up and then I work out and I listened to my show from the night before you take copious notes and I work on the set for that night,
weed all my fucking emails and and then I just go to the show like with total focus. Yeah. That's a one man that a lot of comic sunlight to do listenin to the show and take notes, but have gone so much to do in that like when that's like, among the best warm up too, for me when I, if I'm going to do, is show somewhere a go over of my notes, like everything for like I'll set aside like two hours, where I just go over notes. Usually the plane ride for me is that it's perfect plane rides perfect you're focused you're sitting there and not go anywhere. You get coffee anytime, you want boom, but going over. Those notes- that's number one, then listening to set and like trying to figure out like what order thing should be an or what I d I forgot to do, or what could be a good tag year like sometimes like have like a little thing and recording that becomes this blossom eggs are right, it's just
Whatever the genesis of the joke was sometimes falls away entirely. Yeah, it's so weird. It's like the way you get to an idea. Sometimes it's just like In that sense, it's almost a living thing like it's kind of grow, and finding its own form as you're working it out on stage, and it's so subtle that you have to listen to the tape right away, because then you can remember where your energy was at that moment what thought you were having at that moment. You can connect it all, because the changes, are so small, yes and sometimes you'll, hear doors that opened up that you didn't follow through on, like you're like oh there's, another whole bit there. Oh my god, like that happens, all the time or you'll go off on a little tangent, and you just think after you went off. Thank God I got that recorded, because I don't even remember what forget everything when I get off stage well, people would never know that the weird, sort of mindset unless ve done. It must have tried to do Stana, but but that
mindset mindset when locked locked in the groove. It's almost like you're there air and your your focused and your ear in the moment, but you're also like completely blank and its origin. Coming out of your mouth with. No, you know you're not clinging on anything. It's all just flying out of your mouth, your locked into it, and it's almost like, a passenger in that sense here, you're an active passenger. It's almost like gum, I guess likes words when you know when you know the fundamentals well enough that you let go and you find what do they call it the zone you're when desire and ended cause you're. So in the moment you don't have that procedure. Of later on, remembering what exactly you said and then you listen to it, I'll, listen to it on tape and completely forget that I went into this place. Or somebody from the audience yell something out, and I
you and I are similar- I dont go counter when somebody else something out. I try to take it and use it. If I possibly can, and sometimes it's fun and great because it came out of they were in the moment to when they yelled something out. Yeah yeah and it's it's such a fine balance like. Sometimes it's not a problem at all when people yell out something in the right time right and sometimes it's like a huge problem, because you get one idiot who won't stop doing it right and he's knowing everyone around him. It's it's almost like it's it's. fine line. You walk because occasionally someone will yell something and it's hilarious. Well, especially if it's clearly when you're between bits- yes, that's clear, great yell it out, then I'm going to get a sip of water yeah. You yell at an idea, but if I'm like that abortion bit I'll fucking set that thing up, which is that's, Oh, that's, a nine point, eight difficulty level doing an abortion joke. That's pro pro life, somewhat and you build it up and Fred.
Oh man, you're stand on a house of cards and you haven't got into the laugh yet, and so many all something- and you want to go out and put him in the face, is now you get it. You got to lose the joke. That becomes a real problem. People just can't keep cool long enough to let someone do their thing right, but also lacks the combative nature people. When it comes to controversial ideas, they the ideas become very the come very emotionally invested in the ideas, whether if it's boring, our war or not being a vague and lead times. You get essential reaction. So is not a matter of being attached. The idea it's being emotionally connected to that idea succeeding. You know you being a gay I said idea they'll in your face and screaming and pointing fingers know because weird human characteristic. That's an unfortunate aspect to people when it comes to certain ideas, says like it said, there's a I mean I felt myself, natural inclination, a natural inclination, competitive right,
yeah, I know it. Sort of feels like when you go to them. Place and you're trying to be honest. At the same time, you want to say to the audience: hey: listen, I'm not a professor at a university or paying tuition, and at I'm not a speaker on NPR, I'm I'm, I tell Dick jokes in front of drugs. And if you, if you have to challenge what I'm saying you're here, They taken everything to serious, but there is a point, though, as an audience member, where I was all seen this one guy who goes on stage and is just essentially preaching drive me. We we've all seen that and it s to be this. You know women should be the only ones you get to choose what they do and don't do to their body and they're like pacing a break after and the problem is. These points to me are, of course where's, they should, of course, murder, is it bad? Of course you shouldn't rob people. Of course you shouldn't. Take babies, of course, uh you don't have to
I mean in my world. You don't have to say those things in my world. Those things are given. So, let's start there right, you don't have to just preach some really obvious shit that everyone's gonna fucking agree with and also to me- it's like, if you're doing a joke that about an issue. That's about gun control, that you're control about gun control, do a joke about a detail that you have. when a view on don't announce. We are now going to take on gun, control and hears my take on it. Right did to me. berry that yeah yeah and it's also I will. I hear about it from a guy like you who, I know is doing the work. I know that Gonna go on stage. You have my full confidence that of Europe to present an id on stage, especially a very controversial one, like a pro life sort of a pro pro foetus sort of an hour,
in a joke form like who I know that you have put together a little dance and I have to watch this dance completely play out and how they may have some turns in exactly, but that that needs thing where people attach themselves to idea what you're talking about abortion. Are you talking about it almost like they get a green light to be a dick disguising asshole green light, that's not true propaganda, liberal when it whenever they want to say to you was in Lake Tahoe and I was talking about how we Brainwash to support billionaires in this country. In every other society. When this few people had this much of the money, they were. in the street had their heads chopped off, we split their shit and we should start killing billion at well is obviously a ridiculous bit, but it's based in a feeling that I have of resentment of these people right right. Clearly a comedic extra. Population are on an idea, and this dude gaining stands up.
in a casino and re in Lake Tahoe Walks, tour stage scream at me that I'm not that I'm a socialist which, by the way, I do believe we should share the shit more, so he walks up and somebody grab some from coming up on stage and so and I just keep baiting I'm now, I'm like. I want this mother fucker on stage so bad. I am getting in his hand and making him implode, so there to drag him out soon, as is thrown out. Another dude in the back row is up, he's pay and back and forth- and I do the same thing I slew. Can I go that's right, I'll, kill my bare fuck and adds a pull him out of a ferrari and they just keep going in and it was like this instinct I had. create chaos because they day not gonna take my show, no matter what it takes. If I'm on a stage, that's my fuckin stage and I will I will burn the place down
were you take control him? I shall wear. It becomes. A real issue with folks are not familiar with your material that just go out to a quorum quote, comedy ass, a casino yeah. That's the problem! Is this going to be? big demonstrates that and who come to see the brain improv. For example, in a mostly there's gonna be Gregg. Fitzsimons fans are gonna, come they're, gonna know what you do and it can enjoy it. But when You want some of them just going out to sea comedy and you give it up some brief. Heavy duty, subversive shit, wrapped up in sarcasm, and it's like what it's like their little feeble brains, can't handle it right right and tell billionaires what the fuck you know billionaires made this fucking country what it is because they believe they're gonna be one yeah. It's always broke people who they're like millionaires right. What is that about boy? Did they fucking boy? Did they do a brainwash job on them? That is what I Claude, the Republican Party, because services in general, the d them
fine control that they have pulled off and now to cope. Brothers just purchased like eleven trip, newspapers like big ones, a problem right? What's with I like Rupert Murdoch. Get a tory allies. News at all, I ve been others are on Coca COLA by the way the cook now, there's no way textile thing was fascinating to about the idea of someone of getting upset like a poor person getting upset about you know about billionaires and like calling you socialist or calling you a communist like you're, the people that would benefit my exit from this, not being the case like this idea, police of up by a bootstraps, because almost never do because the billion if they are in a situation in use your saying something disagree with they don't stand up and scream they get the fuck out of there. You know why, because they don't want anybody, know in their a billion air when you're fuckin
billionaire and just walking around walking around a like a bank on wheels just go places. You know you can't like, we're. Winfried eating overwintering can just go places everywhere. Forego. She must have some sort of protection with her. She must have some big men and cars that ricochet bullets off means, you know how many law suits or fire. Like I talk, I not going say who, but a really really rich famous present suck, fourteen lawsuits at that time against them because why, wouldn't you you have any contact with this person. It doesn't go well, yeah, we'll sell out of court a grab a couple hundred thousand dollars. Did you see what happened with Oprah Winfrey recently? She said that she was subjected to racism while shopping in Switzerland she's former talk show host tells entertainments night. She was in a zoonotic store when she asked and employ if she could examine a large purse according to Winfrey the employ repeatedly refusing the purse was too expensive, really yeah. Why? the employer told her now.
You don't want to see that one. You want to see this one, because that would cost too much. You won't be able to afford that, and I don't want to hurt your feelings. My Those are the widest people in the world, but could you imagine what a colossal It is to say that to Oprah Winfrey bad for the country will J sucked it up for their whole country. and think just for a moment of all the people that you didn't think was rich right. Oprah, fuck in Winfrey she's, one of the richest humans that have ever walked the face of the planet, with one of the biggest platforms to communicate what you just did yeah on the planet. Unbeliev I mean, is I mean how many women are richer than Oprah, Winfrey or especially like self made without it a woman in Australia who, I think is the richest person in Australia and she's she's worth more than Oprah. She wondered Four Tina Turner says a double whammy. You know:
Why cant do can do it in she was in Switzerland for Tina Turner, wedding strand, a buyer, beautiful purse, those fuckin crane. It is crazy what a dummy yeah. That's a racist thing. When I, when I first heard about it, I was like oh come on. It's probably not racist. That is a hundred percent racist. When I first heard about This is how fucking gross I am. I immediately dismissed it. I was like damn racism. She can set complain in your rope or win free and then I went out. Then you actually read the story girl, oh yeah, that's racism! That's it! That's just isn't so fuckin store theirs. Store right and you're selling shit and someone wants to see because they want to buy it and you're like not you yeah. But what? If, like a white woman, came like two minutes later and they said she's like no. This is too expensive. You can look. Why do they have the person? That's probably something you have to get a meeting with. You have to like put down a
card. It's probably some kind of you know it might be that expensive, where they're like it's not even really for sale. It's just a it's a purse or needs a shit to happen because her life is so insulin. Like you said, there's always body guards around you can't just walk out. She doesn't get shit like that. They She can then go on tv and talk about she loved it. You think she's not looking for that. Not today. miss it. I'm with you, Joe, is racism, but her fucking twat wedded up when this did you hear what songs daughter called? Who present soon rude time? He saw again defended her did he really? I am just saying you know like she would be hidden well what she said was about that Oprah would be the first person to run the most powerful person in the room and kiss their ass and become their best friend and and now I think she can.
She did a movie with her yeah and I think she called her a house n word field. A field n word yeah that, worse than a house inward, it's not even in the house, you know the house ones. I think they were seen as more compromised by the white man. Okay, that makes sense well yeah, then it's even thence, meaning than what she says me saying that she's a sell out. Why people? How can you be upset about someone who's, a slave that doesn't make sense, because you have way able in a black audiences and nobody calls them a sell out. That's true! or there's no, or what about why people with white audiences right? You know it if any, just because she's black and she has a wide audience like so fuckin. What does little black woman like or to share all taps into a vein, not my vein. It's not vein Yeah but guess what people? different than you, and I it's nothing wrong with that. I like Oprah, I think,
for his, like a really positive person. Would she promotes to me, despite the fact that she's, like Super Billina she promotes to me, is that you can think pause If you make should happen, you could do things. You'd be nice to people like you can promote good causes. I chose out she had any food she's, a multinational corporations, and she chooses to spend a lot of that money on schools and after learning programme. I'm here. She, role model for women and black people and she and of use a lot she did in an mean she had a lot of like gotta, be sorted enemy, specially back in the day. Bilbil had a great joke about her like how she actually made her career. You know about the exchange. A high and mighty because we remember how you got the first way since she had like a crazy, more poverty type show right. You know if you go to the one we I was hanging out with our madrigals when the first time to ever, Madame when our say he was the host at the old cops,
Remember the old car right. Did you ever? Do it yeah it's like a hundred. I was there the night it burned down. I was on stage when it burned down really right. Oh, my god, how many seats one hundred and fifty five twenty five. What a great room you were there. Actually, when the fire broke out right, fireman, ran in and told everybody out of the building helmets on axes, people ran out there. We all can shift the buildings holy shit straight now. Watch a thing burned to the ground: it was crazy. What started that fire now store was a hotel, they were renovating and it was like an oily rag kind of thing and then it crossed over cause was called the cannery it's an old in a walk way with the buildings pretty close together and you know those, after school buildings are from like the eighteen twenties, and this has been the problem of San francisco- is that if there is a fire, all buildings are connected like those buildings in those flannels windy, so it's blow in the flat and its hills. So everything goes up. It's like I mean it's that they have terrible fires, the
earthquake and fire? What was it like? The one thousand eight hundred, then they had that other one in ninety four right there were some fires attached to that. One too, wasn't there? No, not eighty. Nine right was it eighty nine. I think that was the earthquake. Canadian nine wasn't where they got hit really hard. It was that ninety one they had it by earthquake in far daring, the world's here or a series forget its rider. Remember that those not crazy place to live savages Gaza pass it either I was there without magical and we just did work together. We're smoking pot with him and his friends and we're sitting in his parents house, his parents had this dope house on the hill and we're watching. Oprah Winfrey old School, Oprah, Winfrey and I'll. Never forget like we were sitting there. I was one of the first times ever met out and we're watching this show and we were like damn look: how crazy Oprah at least a lot She found this crazy hair and she was interviewing these racists like these real, like heavy duty, white supremacist, and it wasn't like the ass dicing holier than thou O. Today it was like this
Oprah Oprah, whose like just starting choose like gun. Almost a newspaper reporter or news camera news castor. It wasn't like that. The confident, powerful iconic figure, Oprah whose rare disliked allow this woman like she worked away up. Yes, she became like a lion ass. She became a graceful and powerful ass. She got older and and don't forget you want Oscar for Color Purple yeah, no shit. She arm? I mean, if you stop about it, like how many other women other ever done, like that, unlike risen to that level, they get close enough. They fuckin they rosier Donald. that's right. I mean our Pelon look like she was go in there and then the show kind of flat, lined alone Blimey. I think it's a successful show, but it didn't it didn't grow into the empire. That Oprah has rosy had a good show on the upper Winfrey network, but the for whatever the tv show a radio show Swiss do I did it, she's rising Chicago right, yes,
yeah she's out of their respective router boss. I know some people the worked on that shall really early stages, clean House one day, everybody a real India, she's, tough, ass well known as the Lisbon summit, My go to ship has been, others would have heard O Donnell off. I'm sorry we talking about Opera Oprah, oh no! No! No! No! No! No authority! rose. You shall rosy is a yes, I believe in a lesbian, superfluous, Indeed, it is a big conspiracy, terrorists and she, oh yeah, tower seven tower. Seventy watched, another tower, seven, video and Ed Abner as an area, as I have said as nurse now they're they're getting involved a tower seven videos in it. It was like theirs it. It was the most jet tower? Seven video I saw as there is on board, but it's still it's like. They never talk about the they always like the day. The whole videos very believe what they they'd. Never talk about the humongous chunk.
Of building that was missing on one side. You know like they always they always talk about well. This is impossible Gazeta. You know this happened because I went away had melted yeah there's like that. There's no office fire. That's ever taken down! Oh you know, building and how the columns likely just one was damaged tonight that made everywhere although they also don't talk about the big humongous hall, that's missing in the building and not once navigator did they talk about the big hole in the middle and your team. Terrorists is most certainly a giant hole and diesel fires through the whole building. That said, I have never seen a building collapse into its foundation like that that wasn't old demolition. It doesn't mean that it can happen because, obviously on architect, but I know but they have that architects and engineers right nine eleven truth does like two thousand people involved in that, and they all have this belief that that would have never happened in a natural circumstances and but how many
but out of those two thousand, how many more thousands disagree? I dont know that have their information and I know that you would, as I believe that, but it might be a hundred and fifty thousand think it's nonsense because of x or why, where the government pointed to this or might have commissioned a popular mechanics, I believe did the definitive report, which said that you know everything was legitimate, that felt that felt a little too neat yet first publication when women are first, which assumed guy made marijuana legal. That single put. stories mean with hers, publication, nineteen thirty year, thirty, whatever was thirty five, or something like that. The me he he put in stories about these blue exiles, ignorance raping raping white women rashly God hooked on this marijuana. That's where the term marijuana came from before that marijuana was slang for a wild mexican tobacco? No shit yeah he's Burma. The fucker was all because of hemp the commodity he was gonna, have to search newspaper over using us which has pay.
moreover, to Hamleys hampers the superior paper and he was gonna have to switch. He had forests that it would chopped down trees, out of because he had paper mills because he not only had newspapers. He also had paper mills. So in this battle over the commodity of hemp, he demonized it as being connected to this drug that was making black and Mexicans rape white right and then in nineteen seventy they they commissioned study the government did and then they I think they made a nun law or ninety seven use a sweeping psychedelic act that made every acting illegally as an elastic glory, mushrooms, rugs everything, because actually, which really fascinating, is that category one drugs are less dangerous in a lot of ways than category two drugs like Everyone is marijuana, but two. Schedule two is cocaine and heroin. murdered less addictive know their way more gave way more dangerous way, more toxic l de fifty rates, much higher or much lower lethal.
Was at fifty percent. Like you can kill, you are pretty easy on either one of those heroin or cocaine. Nobody in our water, if time has ever o deed marijuana exactly marijuana can kill you. So the idea that one of them is sketch one which may want which is the most illegal and those two or schedule two's want a cookie is full of healthcare, is also examining we'd movie Gupta talks about how the law of of addiction with marijuana was way overstated, and every new study shows that it's like a ten percent rate, as opposed to like a thirty or forty percent rate with heroin cocaine, and this p that are addicted to everything you you can get into that till the sun comes on this people that are dicks playing online poker, physically directive, I've been addicted to plenary, your games. I know that feeling it is very much like an addiction. It's a compulsive gnawing away your consciousness feeling, and that's it happened was almost. You can certainly have learned psychological versus physiological yeah, psychological versus physiological psychological is a real
issue the real issue, but it's an issue for almost everything that exists and when dealing with giant numbers like how many people smoke marijuana, Jesus, Christ? You talked about millions and millions and millions of fucking people in this country. Millions so out of those you're gonna, get couple of losers- okay, you're gonna, get a few people that can't keep the shit together. You're gonna get a few people that would have fallen off the rails if it was sniffing, glue or huffing to read us yeah. So is it a key for even intelligent vehicle certainly can be conditions biology varies, but for the most part we ve been so the pact shit- and it feels pile of shit and it feels like the tide is changing right. I mean it. Sir ass. This was a big one tat is huge Sandra, grouped that's the guy who was also accused of being a shill, because he was. Getting paid millions of dollars by or me, I'm not exaggerated.
thousands of dollars by the pharmaceutical companies. I lied pressure medication, I don't know what it was, but doktor drew apparently got it. A little cash outside too. You know dog, listen man, just I sit on tv for my own personal benefit, added to witness a big mother. Fucker of nice caused, unlike pretty shiny shit, give the dare tastes now around the eurozone wrong with a good doctor. Getting consultations are giving consultations, makes money nothing wrong with that. It's just I wouldn't it's against the hippocratic oath. When it isn't, I would so I mean there as opposed to their support. To be as neutral as pause was if scientists- and I think, if third dispensing advice that can affect your life, your health, but but where these people have taken enough, surely they would I do good right and just the fact that this companies making them hundreds of thousands of dollars if that doesn't mean
they'd be willing to say things: they wouldn't ordinarily, it's true! They would only sign on for the ones that they absolutely believe. That's it. That's the only way they do it to doctors role. Doctors are different than all other people that have ever existed in fact and judges. Yes, judges are all completely unaffected by the political part of the government in office. Fucked stupid system it's a crazy system, but we know it seems to me that this part- I feel I feel really excited about some of the trends that we're getting with legalised gay marriage with you. Now eyes marijuana. I think these are. These are big fuckin cracks in the and the law. I think so too. I think it's also, there's an and an understanding that people are finally getting that we ve been sort of sold this bill, a goods, its conservative, verses, liberal k, luck, folks were now. We have a liberal, president and everything exactly the same. It's got to stop like at this
working time when a guy who is a fucking, half black son of a single parent when that guy is doing the same shit and it's running exactly the same way hardly or are we been sold? The billygoat were, do get it out with each other over gay marriage and nonsense. Lichness said Mary who gives a fuck, and then I think slowly, but surely, as people realise that this immediate connection with homosexual wing, like liberal, did, did do, did d the division, something wrong with the way there they ve been raised in our delinquent evil anti christian because they deserved it like these ideas are. These are ridiculous and certain time people going- oh yeah yeah. I don't know I decide thought gay people were trying to recruit. People people are slowly starting
I realize that it's stupid if you could put three things on the table that should be dealt with and talked about and change, We made verses all these window dressing, fangs, even portion those there's all day effects p deal and how they want to deal with? What are the things that you think should be in the in public discourse right now, the biggest one would be people being able to vote on everything everything that gets done every area. Unless it's you no immediate, fence of life, situations like Pearl Harbor, been attack, get the bolts out of their shot back, and you know that type of a scenario everything other than that. I think there should be an educated discount. and that's the only way that you have a government that acts in representation of the people itself, most people not be for most of the things that happen, especially
they were educated about the ramifications. This is the actual motivation. Here's the pros and cons, here's the can spear in theory it. If we looked at all like from an educated standpoint, much less would slip through the cracks, but because, when I had hidden make air easy because what it comes down to is who will be motivated to actually go to the polls and vote? It's gotta be on your fucking laptop with a code. there is votes, but once a week, people say that only cared for consumers can hack into it. Guess what else you can do online bank? Ok,
a bank online. It's the nut, that's way, nuttier than check left for yes and right for no putting your money, your fucking ones and zeros, and some weird account somewhere and moving around it's on plastic and you're running through the machine at the gas station. That's fucking way, nuttier than voting way hacked into you know you look at what they've hacked into with Wikileaks. Online they've got national secret. You know, yeah, the nuclear codes are online and think about the number of transactions to take place. Banking wise every day online and then add to those stock market transactions to those people getting loans online. You now then there's the amount, of transactions that are taking place are fuckin staggering trillions, probably every day, probably easier, I guess you could. The problem is that the voting booths it turns out. There was a republic in one of the main public and fun razors in Florida was the guy
the design, the voting booths for Florida, it's like we gotta pick a fuckin, to need to set up software to vote from is from Switzerland like black people, but they they're. neutral to us. Well, it's just one person. This is not represented. The entire can one person fucked up with Oprah, maybe Oprah like tries to fuck with people, and she goes and gets made up like a hand. This lady puts like fake scabs. Yes, just looking at obnoxious sort of like like a kung FU master. Might you know pretend to be like a drunk and stumble into a bar to get people to push them around and fuck people up. I've met people who've done that before maybe that's it over. I did she's leaving out part of this story. Well, you also think that I could get to that person. Let me check out that oh man that person a shit y'all give me a hope, Toba RON bone and wanted. Those prices to imagine if Oprah, the troll and she
she's bored with being a billionaire. So she goes around just trying to get people to talk shit in trapping people like bitch, I'm Oprah smash. Her new show bitch, I'm Oprah she's at a certain point in time. If she really wants to go out gangster now's the time to really go for it, bitch I'm Oprah should be the name of her next show right. You should run it. I would run that because I understand the black people I have written on about five black shows, and I don't know why. But might my first writing job was on Cedric. The entertainer presents Cedric St Louis Black Guy who fucking sings and dances. I get hired to write his monologues. Just me, wow and I go on. I wrote on, let me ask you that before you stop, how did you do that the process. Well, we see, K was on the show, and I told him look. I haven't seen my one year old Son a year could have on the road. So much need a writing job, so he sets up
meeting with Cedric and I came in and I picked him a few ideas for monologues and I said well wire black people I was the first ones kicked off. Reality shows, if there's a vote if it survive you could be like Tyrone. I know you are a green bray. You saved us from that Barracuda, you are set up the tender and store, but you black man had them. so I him like three ideas like that and he was like sold and then I set the shows were taped on Friday nights on Monday. I just as office within four like an hour, and we would just shoot shit near not topical ideas. Just you know, sir anything We shoot the shit and writers assisting would sit there tap tap, tap, tap, writing everything we said down, and then I have a couple days kind of compile it tweak it punch it up. Show it to Tom, and then he go ya like this. I like that and not with it Friday getting make up put on me when I get a member he would rehearse in Korea if an entire dance number, he was incredible, and so he would
out on stage, do a dance, with the sensation, sensation dancers finish his mark and do the monologue no telepath after no Q cards? All he had was me after Wednesday. I would sit in his makeup room while get made up and I'll be like given like a one. She, paper. You know we can talk about near the Amish immediate. This be dismayed. This beat this beat you go out on this job got it. Ok, thanks. Gregg hikes fits dog. Now, every time, so that was have been a fun gig to write in someone else's voice. That was, and It was great, as I was surrounded by it was Louis C K and J Johnson and so all black writers, except for me and Louis, and so it was like on tape night. It was fucking crazy,
He would every every guys office was a different vibe. You know one one guy who the the in bong Galileo is part and the next one there were these girls called it. The dangerous dimes cause dimes with black people as she's a ten and where they were these girls and also that tape night. You see it look like prostitutes, I just got half a bus walking through with fucking. Micro mini dresses and so sick, black thighs and stiletto heels, and never close a door and walk one off. Oh fuck, yeah yeah, tell me no, I mean not with one I mean I used to. No, no, I mean like close a door right to into a sink right on your feet. On that one, I was jerking off in the men's room, one time and week work and the met room had a urinal and one stall, and I'm in there and I'm jerking off and I'm just climaxing and the door. The stall obedience and it's my
by Jove. Runner did he know you're jerking I doubled over. Anyone know a walked out and I waited liked. Fifteen minutes and I came back on the right- is room. Just looked at my computer fuckin and nothing said about it's like a week, I'm like I'm not going to get fired and then every talking one day and somebody's talking about taking a shit, and he goes Jesus I walked in on Fitzsimons. The other day he was, he was really was a double every year I locked the door next time and I was like You gotta tagging is shared, so funny says you are sitting down jerking off right on the toilet, see why he up He thought you were just struggling thought. I was struggling to relay Shootin one under the floor. Where are you coming? I would take too. The paper night put it over the crown, and I would just kind saw here that would look like you're about to wipe liking locked in you about. Why might well
that's a very anal move to cover it with the cover your load with toil papers, you catch it, it never happened. That's right! You never see it. It never happened. Jane, be gone! That's a good idea! That's, do that at the end of a flashlight should be all tissues, catch it, doesn't it seem like there should be a condom in a flashlight that you can just remove like a liner is it you'd lose the feeling their patents rubber, is patent and further reason. Yeah, it's tooth mushy to be that thin. It was that then in future, no longer a spokesperson for the flashlights surrounded yeah? I'm sorry that was one the things where more people told me not to do it. Then almost anything I've ever done more people, like you were here at it now. Why doesn't it saying you fuck. Who cares like the idea that is Eve or seedy are? What are you pretending you dont like something touching your penis? We really pretending that or
ending. It's only noble. If you do it with your hands, are you allowed to use lube? Are you allowed to? No? No, no, you can only jerk off out of necessity. You have to dry Dicket in the shower, have to just be upset with yourself the entire time. What's just go over what's really quickly now people look forward to jerking off and that's why there's a billion porn tapes out there and that's why sell like hotcakes crazy, as you think about all the sexual positions. You'll, have your partner always trying to be creative, try something new its exciting and most people, jerk off, monsieur fuck you. I know that I I don't try anything kick him. I was a teenager, you know I'll fuck everything my pillow I now it's dislike same type of
usually the same spot. Man yeah you like! Did you get in the webcam stuff? Have you tried to never like the webcam? I remember one time I had a date with this chick. It was just after high school and I kind of had a thing for her in high school. We never did anything, they were gonna meet up and she was like dtf like completely down to fuck, and I was I was doing construction and I was so horny thinking about it all day because it's been a while, since I got something that I jerked off twice at work, not once twice twice, I jerked off once in a bathroom one time I shot a load out the door was work working, an unfinished basement and it had like a basement door and I just looked around, but then that night, when I hooked up with a girl, I could barely get it up. I was tired from work because I had a construction job like at the end of the day you were beat and I was beating off. Four day so that made me tired and I'm just like my desire was gone already come twice a day like an idiot like once is a good move. Twice
can't you see that I'm one time Charlie, I was, I was work in this club early on. I was like the opening act to catch rising, star down a prince new juries, I'm the gig yeah so near the college, college and you stayed in the hotel and was a beautiful high associate. It was a gig that all the New York comics like to take the train an hour and twenty minutes down. You stand a nice hotel, good room. anyway. So there was this one chicken and even of is always the one girl that people know. Oh yeah, when you're there Jenny she'll take care now she's the one that fuck. So we go out to like a red Robin restaurant after the show and she's flirting with me and she she was like a physical therapist with short blonde hair and was really rock hard body. I'm taking my pin, some right, nude, rack, good, solid rack, and So she says so we're talking. I go all you want to go, she does. I can't really go in the hotel cause. I work there and she goes. You know it just let me in the back door, so I let her in the back door and she comes up to my room
and she is what he called down to fuck she is at so she goes down. She blows me an eye for and I blast and then she's shoe to make love with me to it, and I can and I the only time my life, I couldn't give it up and she got, she yelled at me and last she yelled at you. well, but she was free striated and disappointed in me, and it came through. We Were you sober at the time yeah? So it's just you had not left. I just can't. I can't do this. I never had not really will do that. It's funny that she cut man argument if I was a girl I get. It that's why we say like with with oral sex, is no upside for women run for us this absurd, because if we go down on her she ready to rock. After that. Everyone
get laid after. You go down on her. If she goes down on you write you may just leave, had send me a woman. I know it is but think of having babies grown signed it that's the benefit as it does. yeah. If you give a guy a blow job, you can't get it up again, but you can make people with your pussy right. Did you guys here which Dick Virgin Airlines is doing comedy now, on the actual. You know the way clear they used to do that on the Anita flights to London. Right, please tell me the answer is yes, you can go on there like twitter page and to find out who is playing and stuff, but can you imagine that with a job like I'm playing for the next week in the air You know when we allow areas bring a friend and vis tape it and just do fucking crazy shit. That would be all
remember the time me and Joe got hired to do to just be funny at aquarium in Boston for a corporation. It was like their Christmas party and we got hired and we're like great we're. Gonna do stand up at this Christmas party, and then they took no, no just just walk around and do funny stuff like no one knew. We were comedians because it was like you know, a couple hundred people, nobody had know each other and like we're, eat off people's play and making fun of their ties, and we were just the people fucking hated us, it was, it wasn't working is to say for the record. I did not eat up anybody's place, but Greg did Greg did and I got he was just being funny with a big smile on his face too. You guys strawberry and this guy wanted to kill right, and I was like. Oh my god. This guy is gonna hit him something's going to go and the guy just goes you're fucking asshole and it was like whoa this. got real, so I just so. I just went the corner and started orders and then all of a sudden, I sudden I hear on the loudspeaker, I hear Joe the
He found the microphone and he's like attention any parent with a child with a blue sweater he's now floating in the shark tank. Please report to security and people thought it was real. It was How do we get kicked out or think something like that? I know I a good adding a get paid. I don't two hundred two. The whole thing was a mess we should it. It should never happen. No one should have ever like to get a bunch a twenty year old comedians and said: go do whatever you want to do at this aquarium It was an ad trying to be creative, trying something new. I think the plane thing would. Fine as long as you didn't have to be a part of the show, a good if you try to get some work done and the guy Where are you from sir? Oh? No, I'm sorry. I have an hour. Oh somebody's nasal doesn't want to play along. It's got an hour. I got to work at right. How do I didn't know? I was gonna have to react to you so much like should be in a sound proof, booth and the people that one
hear you put on their headphones. But if you don't want to hear it, you can't hear creep or like a whack off booth, you're, a comedian, and if you don't have the headphones you just like that's too complicated, what are you think the colleague who stand? I guess what first class people were probably pest there be the model. To say say this. Is I want to see a fucking comedian? I I got do my spreadsheet, so it would be like. In the middle like when first class separates to coach they'll stand right, there do their little act while first class they want to do it right. I don't know if this has been done. I think Playboy or who'd Hooters had a plane or one point who does at a plain me up. That was my dreams, but I don't like one flight was like Oklahoma. Word is totally normal people worldwide, homeward just a line of Lord Oil, more transfer over to who'd to stop shop, but
getting a lap, dance and first class on a flight, the US red eyes do amazing, because I could I could have no five hours of of really high and strippers. His long run gently giving lab dance, not no fuckin vanity and blasting just cool cooler. dances, slow, music, nice and central music through a life throwing their tits in your face and just gently knocking them back and forth way, sit there and go so, let's Dance is a very strange creation, is any Travel has a fucking. Hilarious story about the birth of the lap dance about who is working on it. Many club and he saw the lab dance become feature and before that just the Women- would dance on stage here and then it was like. Well, we got a new thing. You gonna be able to do lapped answers and most girls what fuck
I'm not sitting on anybody's fucking, big line to cross yeah, but one girl did and the first day this one girl made just fucking ass. Aisles of money, and so after that those one x, girl the next day and then two girls and then for and before you know they were all too, but it took a while just they still had to start bringing in money- and I only mean people but bilge waiting in line to get lapped answers. Fronts. girl. This one girl was just sitting on everybody's deck. Bear pussy like they're allowed to do that. They sell you Dick Bear Puzzy where We were now share everywhere that doesn't care about their crazy, I'm suitable measures. Montreal and Montreal is pretty famous for the strip. Clubs and I was there for six nights. I didn't go to one and I just had no fuck I figured I might go. Who knows? People goes a group right. I don't know. I think I think that you are over it
I think I'm over it. I dont know know of it's because I have a daughter or it just No sauce parlors are so much cheaper if you think about the actual, if you go to the right ones, into the actual result, you're looking for? How much does it cost What you want! What do you want? He's got a jerk, you, oh you mean. There's somewhere he's gonna go okay, come on back you're gonna, open up that curtain, Brian's got a table set up right there. You get a lot more guests on the pod to come back with a wig on it'd, be like ten guests in here every day, jobs places are more common but blow job places are pretty easy and on sex places about twenty that I know here in my change, when I see how much is it to go, get em massaging the hands besides and a hand job you'll be in, and now with our massage Reich eighty bucks It would be nice if it also came with a magic wand, presses the back. There had never get everything that happened, yeah they develop
the ability to zap someone and you lose the last thirty minutes of memory. Just complete Fraser, oh, you don't want the you, don't want the missus, remembering who you are well. You could sneak out that way. You don't have to feel a shame like nothing ever happened right want to know nothing ever happened to they usually say I go to. I go to massage places that are like thirty nine forty five places usually do, though. Places offer the happy ending. Well before you can go to rub maps dot com to find out exactly which places to go to rub my broad, like our you be Romero, be updating, PS, Bianca Rug Map, showing that this is a confusing fuckin website. What is bright, red ban talking about right, but most places did that. The big thing is is that it? When you usually go to these forty, our places, you usually keeping your underwear, I knew using a towel over you to hear your now doing anything to make them think that you want anything differ. So what you do
the easiest thing is just to take off all your clothes. That's the big thing like just take it all off, throw all your towels on the floor. You just let her put a towel on you. She wants to and then this your star rubbing you now and then you just kind of like you know move around and I'm not looking in wonder, is under him he's giving a seminar on how to get a really seedy machining her. You know, and does she say, it'll cost you this much. Usually it's just given that it is Tipp like you just look up my she's going to give you a hand job like forty bucks, just it's kind of like a law like now. What if I only gave returned ten sex is a hundred. What, if you just gave it and when she say something. Maybe some places. Well, she probably would, if she's an older person like a lot of the older ladies they've, been around so long. Their hands are the softest. You know he's doing material. No, it's true they had.
stop this hands on the road. It's like a little kid hand, they've been jerking guys off forever. That's like climbing up a rope for a year of your life by opposite yeah, it's opposite yeah, because it's just skin it. That's right. There's oil on our hands, he's rubbing it back in, but it doesn't matter. I can't your skin gets more brittle as you get old, there's no way of getting around it. You can't do it get around it with the soaking it and oil they're gonna have a leathery old soft. It is greasy leathery, softball MIT Jerk, and you must fax like Tom Car Soup, in a way that is what are you gonna handle use their feet. Why is it that someone's breath, Someone with stinky breath is one of the worst turnoffs in the history of the world. Without a doubt, yeah someone's talking even their breath stinks. I mean even like for having a conversation with someone even nonsexual, but if you're attracted to a girl- and you start talking whatever breast days like mine,
do you do to tell her? Do you try to be polite? the funny. You say that because I had a really good friend for a lot of years and she was she was cute. You know she was like a solid seven and a half decades shipwrecked ship breath, Ray personality fucking, sir, go, no dates in a breath. Stag and I didn't know- I think arid and not just anonymously, sending her note or an email. told you never told her. I never said anything, and you know a lot of times. I think it's probably like tooth decay or something it's ginger vitus I mean if it smells like an antique book store. That usually means that you have some kind of like ginger Vitus. Well, it's a bit of like a rot hour like a rotting smell, yeah yeah, it's really bad you get. People was like if you have had a I once had an old feeling I crack my tooth and then they had but then someone other under the filling. It's start to go bad
the me a Roo canal and, as he went through the tooth it popped into the the recent the abscess and it made this horrible smell. It was so nasty man it I could smell like rot, I go oh, he goes now like the rotten tooth that smells like that, and he goes yeah. That's what they smell. Like you, open them up. I go that's nasty wow yeah I just just living in your inside my tooth, like it had a drill. Through my tooth, I had cracked underneath I have some cracks on my teeth from lifting weights. from hurting your data? Like Gallic, I went to the doktor once and Denis NEWS like? Do you grind your teeth when you sleep, like you were in a car accident like your teeth, are cracked and then I go. No, he goes. Do you lift weights and I go yeah. He goes okay, you got to get a mouth piece or something look. What you're doing your teeth- and he shows me like this microscopic view of my teeth- are all cracked like
the top of em, and so apparently one of the filters had gotten like a loose or somethin in some some deposits somehow now they've gotten through the bottom of the filter like there had been an opening somehow or another just enough to get the party started and that's all you need some form of decay underneath a filling or inside a gum line and then just rots right through. To radio got knocked out. When I was about fifteen years old and I root canal and put this I fucking thirty. One years later, no problem straw. as it ever was at the bottom. So you don't really see it. My goal, Berg do the UFC with he's he's got his front teeth had to actually drill post I think he got he knocked out playing hockey. Yeah mine has a pos, that's right, yeah, but his was like he had a one that was clip on with a magnet for a while when they were in the middle of doing it. Have you seen those really yeah Mary slide on link? Would about a magnet you like what the hell
I can only a piece of metal and his fucking job. This screwed in their like the base for this, and it has there for a while right, is that what the dealer that has to grow into your bone, it actually has to mend with your bone, titanium RON, I'm telling you they put a post on this has no wiggle whatsoever. After all these years, you make you some bad ass teeth that's nice thing in the when people no fucking teeth, yeah and it's to and then, if you get a bad job done, then fucking you get coffee stains on it or if you smoke and it's a different color, I had a friend have that now I had a friend who was a pool player his name is Mount Vernon Tommy. He was one of the players around white plains. New York, like would gamble like and like all this money, his work he worked out dispatch guy for attacks company every work? insane hours like twenty,
day sixteen days in a row and build up a pile of cash and then come in and play pool. No well, I'm trying to put together a bank role, so I can get some action. He didn't have a tooth in his mouth and this poor guy you to Houston like occasionally I got me a filet many on. go hurry, hurry you stick and yours world prominent shoe to absorb. Do that's putting a blunder blood at all. Up nice and then I'll just eat it like that. No shit, he literally couldn't chew anything. He had zero teeth. He had no teeth. What happened stages. Disease could be anything could be I'd some Sures law, some and fights bad dental hygiene in others a time where people just weren't brushing fucking teeth all the time, some people and this guy was now part of that easy. It's a terrible teeth, aging lost all teeth. How often you flaws, I never flossy, never the shit out of my teeth, but I don't floss loss once a week
a week. I have a steak dinner. If I feel like I like a couple of spaces between my muellers and every meat meal? I got a nice fuck and junk I'll try to suck it out, sometimes for thirty five minutes. You know just go and after sucking sucking and then, when it comes out it's like, so tender. It's like been completely tenderised in your Muller and with your front teeth and it's delicious. I was watching this special or a television show on these bear hunters. They were going hunting, Grizzly bears very strange thing to watch his ear. Part of you is like man, I don't know you not going to eat that You just shooting this animal for health like this is fucking crazy and then the other part. When you see the actual animal dead and you like you, look at its jaw, you open its mouth and you see these fucking a massive teeth of this enormous head and just really puts into perspective. How weird
he's all right. We have these flat, stupid, shitty ones that crack really easy this mother fucker something they can. Each trees like these are blizzard giant swords like embedded in his brain huge fuckin slicing swords, their exit had to his face with a yawn crush a fuckin anvil. It's there is incredibly powerful. Meanwhile, I'm kind of on the bear side. That's what's fucked up I'm watching this, I'm like I don't if man, unless you have to manage a population like you, have a problem with them like killing people's animals are going after people like you're, going to place, where there's no people and your fucking up these bar. It's like a weird short. If you're eating it, I get it. I get it if you want to eat like black. Bear people eat black bear, but I don't think people really eat. Grizzly bears I think, the only shootin for their power to think they probably tastes like shit. You should find out.
it's like a miracle man, a beast like that or a lion, the asshole. It's just like it's an it's nature, expressing itself in the coolest fucking, but still terrifying. I did you were there's a story about these soldiers that had to enter these mangrove swamps and I'm not sure where it happened. I put it on my my twitter two days ago it's a terrifying fucking story, a thousand soldiers of these swamps and twenty got out they were all eaten by crocodiles and there are no did no. There is no real nothing to do, but just keep going and so all around them their hearing, thrashing where a crocodile will grab a guy. Then you hear screams that eventually may go under water with a crock is like flies in the main role and its pitch black. So it's pitch
in these guys are walking through Crockett Dial, infested, swamps, fowl thousand men, went in twenty got how long ago forties. Let me yeah, you're gonna shit, your pants. It is a courageous, fuckin story, yeah some issue, compile the ten events in life fit most resemble what yeah here it is. I should give the guy props a sign to me a dude name, Van Dave Van Dave so to me, and so, that's in the swamps of Ramuri is the article it's on my twitter feed from fifteen hours ago, so it was in Burma, rolling jungles of Burma, so in world war. To these japanese soldiers, when it southern Burma and between nine hundred in a thousand imperial infantry. They retreated a price my ten miles through the mangrove swamps in an effort to sink up with a larger defensive force, and this is a
Finally, I want to read you too much in this. This is a fucking, crazy store. It says the scattered rifle shot in the pitch black swamp punctured by screams of wounded men then crossed the jaws of huge reptiles and the blue worrying around blurred. Worrying sound of spinning crocodiles made for a cocoon funny of hell that rarely been duplicated on earth at dawn, The vultures arrived to clean up what the crocodiles had left of about a thousand japanese soldiers that had entered the swamps of remery. Only twenty were found alive. What a great way of describing that the scattered rifle Shahrazad, Gary Mortinson is an excerpt from a book it's just a historical account. World war, two history, world war, two history, blog it's World WAR Ii, blog
World WAR Ii, dot com blog. I love shit about world war. Two! I love you Google death in the swamps of Ramy is actually by Steve. Turgid son That's the gentleman who wrote it Steve, turgid, son, but in the bottom it says written by Garret, Gary Mortensen. and then ok that last thing that I said the scattered rifle shots, that's even by different guy british, naturalist, Bruce Right attack to a royal Marine division made the following notes- what he witnessed? He was an eyewitness account. Oh my, oh, my god What a great imagine your your life you're, one of the twenty that survived the survivor guilt, that you would have the terror terror. I mean the that you're nervous system to be got to a heightened state of everything that was just described for probably an hour or more than that man didn't didn't wounded
talk about ten miles. They said it was two miles. I think ten and ten miles through the mangrove swamps. So how fast he walk to through mangroves yeah, three miles an hour if you're lucky, that's like three hours you're, leaving walk three miles an hour through swamps, proudly less, probably less Jesus Christ dude, I'm shitting my pants right now, just thinking about that not to mention Burma, burmese pythons yeah. Did you hear about that python? They got loose in Montreal yeah does at Montreal, so we're somewhere. Like I'm worried. Always somebody out came now wasn't mantra somewhere in Canada went through in a ceiling and killed these boys got out of like this reptile shop. Nineteen foot fuckin I thought Jesus, I mean they It's big enough swallow antelope, pole and you've got
things just laying around think about how big that is, can swallow an ant little pole, it's like my waist. It's my waist and a snake yeah. What the fuck man that's incredible yeah seals those things you should have like if they should have to have a really special precautionary black failsafe sort of ways to keep something contained if you're gonna key suddenly felt alive. You might have to put a second muzzle on it, Lester Feeding, but Even then. What how do I know that model stick with the thing figure out how to get the muzzle right. You know you can get a doubt Monkey monster in your hand wandering around here and it needs to eat they have a real problem, those fucking things of Florida, their offer all sorts rewards. They had a thing to me: every lights, yeah they had a thing recently. They offered rewards on people bringing back and livestock unknown.
catch nobody's catching them. I read about that and they're like this is a real problem. We know they're there and those are what kind of snakes for those are pythons. Are they Pythons yeah Florida, so fucked up, they found Nile Cross canals and Florida now and there's only one way for them we get there. Someone had to let him go so they don't think the breeding population of them yet, but there's a shoot to kill order on Nile crocodiles like if you see them, you have to fucking, kill them right away, because aggressive and they get to be twenty eight fucking feet. Long, like you, gotta, kill those These are not like the american crocodiles that exist now. American crocodiles are much smaller aggressive, much more aggressive in Algiers but much smaller, but these NEO crocodiles holy fuck. debates eaters right now, then there really aggressive, really Gregson alligators, I mean I've been around alligators law because we still have a house down to Florida. Florida had him had a pond across the street that add alligators in it, so we're
aware, and we saw them a lot and I saw the way they moved and they check you out. They'd, ultimately swam away or not move crocodiles, they're going to come up and After a year, they see you in the lock on new income after right, fuck lizards, flock all those creepy reptiles day debts to the people to think they're. Cute I see monsters, that's all I say I see heartless monsters that don't give a fuck about you or anybody. You can own on that thing for twenty years years. It's never to give a shit. It's a cold blooded, but they're beautiful. I see that yeah they're, fascinating. I see that absolutely fascinating here. all all the reptiles to me when I look at them either Chicken, United chickens, even chick I see my chickens. I see something that system just millions of years ago. Some weird life form we just it's normal because we young
eggs from them and they, but my mom what we are seeing chickens we ve all seen it seems normal. That's not normal at all. What the fuck is that thing, some weird bird they can barely fly glowing like get like three or four feet. of the ground and then it falls down, and it's all plump and weird with dinosaur feet. There monsters, man and police level runs two year. They just run from shit and yak, yet Peck at everything. Yeah clean up. They just clean up everything that's around and we just see them as food on legs. It's just pure food. You eat almost the entire fucking thing: yeah, it's the most efficient food source animals. What what's efficient about chickens? Is they make eggs? the exit from what do you do that Renault in Russia, incredible they're delicious, because we feed them vegetables too, like leftover vegetables, we feed them to the chickens too, but they're omnivore the worms we feed them worm, sometimes right, but what people? What I didn't know I I laughed desks of talks with us in the park, as people were fucking Idiot. I am
No, that's what I really didn't know until Ike more than a year ago. Maybe that a chicken doesn't mean a baby with those eggs that I I didn't know they made an egg every day, no matter what I thought the only made eggs if they fuck they make an egg every day and there's no rooster. So none of these eggs fertilize, so they just food. food machines they make protein and it doesn't hurt but all nobody gets her. It's a natural process. They do it every day and it's like it's one of the best. ways to acquire like you can think it's like completely comma free like he's no one getting hurt right. There's these eggs or just a natural process. They don't stack them in fucking cages. Its discussion CDC corporate chicken farms, but you can. You can do it in your yard. Is what I'm saying and it'll give you food every day right, I read. To a friend of mine when I was there dude. I shouldn't say friend that dude that I know from Jujitsu and we were talking about like he's, got the he's, got a rooster and
they have eggs to and but their angry letters lay eggs nominal. They D as a booster and he has two chickens but his chicken He's he's got a whole ecosystem. His chickens can make chickens like he's going the full set up. You shall I give with his eggs if the rooster, the hands those eggs can become checks so that It's real weird! You know that wow, I can't get origin we got you while this pollutes you know, that's the Philippines eat the Filipinos eat. It's like a duck. embryo, and you www boil a duck embryo we served in on fear factor, they love it think they say get in the egg gas, open it. There yeah it was funny when we served it to people on fear factor, and you know I know a lot of filipino dudes from pool. You know a lot of like. In poor players. Some the best in the world are Filipino They love balloon there like I'll, give it to me man I'll eat that shit like they love balloon like pollutes at derisory. My friend Ross Broccoli, his
communities. A great name, yeah he's is really looked as some of you. You should get the other way carrot top and make a salad shelf dock Is there another vegetable guy I well, they call they accidentally at the Fanie Hall Comedy connection. A black woman called the club. and she say who want to show tonight. She was from eighteen hundred, and they said well as Anthony Clark, Jackie Flynn and Greg Fitzsimmons and a lady goes he's great fruit, Simmons, the headliner That's a great name call me grape fruits and as to this day, all the comics of Boston Come grapefruits, dude, Grapefruit Simon. I should have changed my name. I got that's a great name like EMO Philips. I know not a real name, offend me right, try care tat the sun, Israel, namely that rape, fruit, Simmons right, but look at brass broccoli, and chicken truck. Maybe you could go
from here on out as grape Simmons Grapefruit Simmons, the artist formerly known as grape Fit Simons. I need something for people to talk about. That's the kind of ship, that's brilliant marketing! If you're into that kind of thing right, just change your name every fifteen years right and have people you know I have to get the twitter now change everything. Grapefruit seminar will that's one of the ways that Madonna sort of state relevant all his years is constantly changing, and I should say what she looked like. She changed her hairstyle. She changed her singing style, but always in intervals that allowed the public to you know, adjust David, I did the same thing. Yeah you're, right, yeah, David boy, did a lot of that. He did some weird shit, man, one time in the podcast we played dancing in the street him and Mick Jagger. We forgot like how in saying that video is its might be the weirdest like and roll video of all time, because it's
Jagger and David Bowie, and they are dancing together in one of the most peculiar ways of ever seen. Two men danced together like even rock stars that are like singing songs together and they like lenient together and use one MIKE, you know so they like going face to face and sing in each other's eyes. That's he's gay, as Jagger and David Bowe, a dancing and look at each other and like wiggling, back and forth and like hopping up on me like Lightfoot it on one foot to one foot in this weird display of ability and a light Lightfoot Agnes at a very strange way of sea, just play the video of them dancing. He asked one of the weird is always lay see. Ladies hop in Bali and Jagger. I mean that whole gay thing. It was Thirdly, what in like that? early eighties,
now earliest seventies. I think I think I think there is a lot of guys experimented here. They just who is yeah, I think artists to like there's a lot of artists that one open themselves up. They want find out you? What are the boundaries like? What's holding me back creatively? Yeah, you know everyone's parting and ever it's like almost like an a showing in open mindedness by trying to have sex like there's this his jacket in those eighties clothes, those weird with the cuffs a jacket with the cuffs pulled up the forearm place. More of that, that's wild there's There was a weirdness to it. The way they were dancing around yeah. Look at them. Tat I mean look at David boys. Get this weird jack around like he's, allow assistant and make jaguars got like high wasted pan Somalia and this
dare in each other's eyes singing in there always gravitas, whole Luigi Vinci, credibly gay, oh now there, but to but sing regard grab a girl everywhere, around the world? I mean and nothing wrong with that, but it's what My point is that it's very unusual behavior not even that it's a gay because because it gay like openly gay. It would almost be less weird if those like two guys and they had their hands in each other's hips and they were singing and kissing each other? I go oh! Oh, I see that's how gay guys are they're gay they're attracted to each other, so they're, making out that's what gay guys making out. That's normal! That's not normal! What is that thing that weird mating dance they're doing it? We think it's like they both got to the point where they had fucked so many models and done so many three ways that sexual energy is pouring out and they're. Just there like you said it
meeting to they're strutting it out. It's not really about fucking each. it's about both of them celebrating their raw sexuality bullets. It's weird is what it is. It's weird sort of movement because even seemed sexual, because it doesn't represent any when you see a woman dancing and a woman whose real sexy one things that you're seeing is when a woman's dancing you're, seeing how she would fuck yeah, like you're, seeing a sensual sort of an appeal when a woman is like gyrating, it's very attractive right, because what you're seeing you're thinking of movement, you're thinking of making love and you're thinking of like bodies touching and how good it would feel if she moved like that, while she was touching you and what a turn on it would be. Just a blow away. Turn that sexy right. But this Weird this is, sexual, like it's, not gay. I mean I'm a colony gay, because this just odd it's more queer than gay, but it's not gay, because if
gave a billiard grass, Jan and grabbing Cox, and looking to southern holdings pulling clothes, but it's just it's like they're bouncing like boy Joe, where'd. She we knew was gay, so that added actuality to it, because in people's minds, gay and use thinking about sex, and yet he played it like child entertaining dressed like a clown, and it was nothing he did it with sexual in any way, but he dance like that really fucked! now sensual will boy. George was actually a good dancer. Gatt agreements, silly him move. It was a great singer that song. Do you really want to hurt me? There was a brilliant saw. What I remember one that sign came out how many dues I knew, who were angry, what that video rail. They got angry. Like you see this, fucking guy she's voiced they would get mad because boy George in this, like puffy,
non descript sort of like non body outlining sort of outfit, this little puffy outfit and he's like gyrating and moving in slowly and singing kind of has makeup on yeah he's got to do a lot of makeup on and he's singing. Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry? I mean it's like is heavy it's heavy and defining Take me up for you go was just to bring now. I remember I was working budget knows when the sign the popular, I was working to Papa Gmos in Newton Massachusetts and I was I was a cook. Those making like spaghetti and whatever the They sold and it was a girl who work there. Who was in love with the sky and choose ascribing this song. Wake me up for you go go and she was like he soviet for like! I can't even look at em. He sober therefore, and
the song is amazing, and so I went home that night and I saw it on television, and I was like might be the gay ass human than ever walked the face of the planet and this girl canyons right. She couldn't said. I think that damage Girls are attracting, didn't clearly gay guys like that, because their non threatening their friends, the air. I think that you know who was something that's do. You think a Liberace and how many like frustrated, midwestern women would go him in Vegas right and actually feel something well he's the bridge between what a woman really was like a man to be a what a man really is. You know Richard bill cause. We said something really funny once he said women, don't wanna hear what a man thinks women want to hear what a woman thanks, but in a deeper voice. Brilliant brilliant build cars we got. Is such a brilliant lions? Does a goddamn brilliant lie, but
every now and then you have a bridge and the bridge is like Legged George Michael sort of a guy's beautiful man, but he's dancing around anymore. You know he's got perfect, hair and earrings to hoop earrings and assure the choose life: India, S, work, Vernon Phase and in a hearing you left sleeping in my bed. with you and stay with me boy. You remember certain comedian that we know who was gay. it is out of the closet know, and he used to seeing you earlier we do you give him away. Give a shit. Oh, dare you wake before you go? Go cause I'm nothin bout, a fuckin home yeah and this guy used to sing that clock, and this is the guy who, later on blasted other comics, who did homophobic well, he was a little tortured, very tortured,
yeah. Meanwhile, this another provides ample. Somebody just came out the closet. Nobody would give a fuck, people still argue. Your committee That's why you think about that. Guy, Jason, Collins, the basketball player who came out, I think, that's really brave and you got to stop and go. Why is it so brave? Like a comedian could come out? An actor can come out. You know in any fact, of life you're an accountant and somebody came out. People would adjust and deal with it, but it's brave for a basketball player, because athletes tend to be jocks ignorant. Hateful guys- don't like they say, fags alive. You know, Kobe Bryant said that thing. I think it's it's a bigger deal to come out in that environment in it in others. No doubt it's much is very courageous and is also the locker room element rise. The element, the fact that these guys get together in the locker room and they fuckin their naked together. Aunt Kate, a shower and would you I mean it's not the same thing, but how
it's different with the dynamic of a locker room change. If a woman came in and she was attractive and she was showering and she was showering with men naked, which completely change the dynamic of the locker right well a good guy who is in a locker and see all these yummy dicks and seen He's dude soaping up their Cox like that, for a hit for him, like him being. There would really change the dynamic of the large room if he wasn't professional and of course you would be professional understand, but most men would be professional too if they were hanging around a woman and want to fuck and I'm not I'm not playing so the fairies here and a jerk off thinking about my deck of the fears
it's gonna fuck! You why you taken? How had they says? You're real fear, no one! Now that it's real? No, I think it's gonna Hadrian press outside its a billion dollar arena. They ve got their own stalls, but somehow he's gonna crazier helping your ass like prison, gonna, fuck and hold you. It's so amazing that that's a fear, because mile thing is if he jerks, I think it is You'll never know the he tells you and then it makes its super uncomfortable you and him, and you go back as forgot. Your sneakers, hey man. I just want to tell you you know at your coffee. You last night is fucking. Amazing have a good game. We were together. We were shaving bodies in words hey man. I want you I behind me flooding creep in that city. well they say I don't want him he's here. We look in my dick here is slash
if you're in a shower of a bunch of the guys they're. All like, like I look at the decks, but it's a different. It's a different thing. Why? Because it's not yummy and delicious to you, you look at a dick and like well there's something I don't wanna have anything to do. Just look at it because it's weird you never see them. I don't need to see your dick and I don't need to do anything with your things. Take care guys, yeah. I saw your dick but no big deal like in Jujitsu there's the locker room and in the locker room everybody takes a close off and showers. It's just north, but is inaccurate and shower. There's this stall, but there's only one. So we are waiting line for me. Hop out. You see someone's dick. They grow tat the rapid I've. Whatever nobody gives a shit you take. It goes off put dry ones on. Yes, he had dick it just now. a part of everyday life, but If you were there and it was by you know it was co Ed, and there was women in there that was changing as well and they were hot women. Women, came out naked like that, would be weird dynamic. If you're sexually attracted to I'm not saying that gay people
Take advantage of your they'd, be weird you, but why I do believe about gay men unequitable without a doubt. Equivocally is that their men and men can be great or they can be creepy as fuck. Both options around the table. I think he knows he's so under the microscope, as the gay guy in the shower that he would be complete. What is this bit with Tommy Sigur, getting some guys grabby his Dick Patrick Mountain? What is it is the sketch yeah? It's called feeding the rabbit in it. What's it about? How long is it last. It's two minutes play it. Okay, it's! What's that real that's my play. Music, it's still reburnishing now, there's one mere cat nearby doesn't have the luxury of protection.
Very much. It's two guys sitting on a couch watching an ad show the toast pops up, but it's likely she'll never be allowed to join her face the folks listening to his fine tuning, the rabbit it's just time to feed the rabbit, so he puts the toast back in and they both get up. She tells him to take off. Is that in an unrelated roving mail for a mate stupid, perhaps for love so they're, looking at each other in the eyes to to tell looks like he's about appear in this guy its guys like making who's the other. Did Patrick Mountain of nobody likes onions, he's making like this horrible faces. This looks like an opportunity my keys orgasm
yeah nodding his head, menacingly manner, go. I contact staff, France, shame, understanding, french, Whiskers Tom's causes. I know he doesn't like it God. How long is this ceiling confusion yeah. This is really a visual we're doing this thing. Any justice descriptions of pepper is making this crazy. and they're both grabbing their dicks they're grabbing each other's dick and they're smushing them. I know they're grabbing the dicks with the underwear outside of the pants I toast reports and then, when they chose pops up that done that's when the end means
and they're sitting down they're not gonna talk about it, they don't get the tells okay, that is who the fuck, that is That is an unbelievably weird sketch. That's like you know how that gets started. I want to grab this guy's dick, I'm gonna write a sketch they went for it though man they took it deep and they didn't just take it like they. They hung in there for long time. You know it's weirder than grabbing the deck is the eye contact from four inches yeah, I guess so, you're gonna be hot right gang. I would watch any goes. What's so funny rises, hottest fuck, he's too bears on each other off when the toast pops up. I love it- bears I know bears that's my second favorite like sexual tom, sexual video, my other may otherwise, the one with him and Burke Krisher, whether shaving each other, with no shirts on
You know I met. I met bird chryser for the first time in Montreal. Oh really! No. We were both. Looking at each other like how do we never fucking meet he's a great guy, yeah he's fun, it's fun, dude he's a different some kind of guy he's, like a great party, starter, hosts type guy, It's a different kind of guy he's got his own little thing going on bird Kresher. Should I have him on my podcast, a bird if you're out there email me he's also radio at Gmail com he's awesome. He's awesome. He's got some larious stories too yeah. Do you see the video of him and Ralphie may on the stage name said they both the shirt off their singing songs, by using a hug on her doctor. The other day do not smoking weed or anything that is now he's not how can we think so? He was sure he knows by imposing welcome back badge, Oh that's right had among the broadcast and whose we caught em right when it was done.
No, he it was anyway. He's wasn't, wasn't smoking anyway. He's taking big break is shit. I think, though, he's one of those dudes that much like your friend EMC Chris, you just you know, went off the pot deep end right kind of kind of re. You know catch your breath ass. We focus the shake it off right, over life for a while and then slowly get back in with a more defined sense of parameters, especially when you have a young kid. I think he's really into his kid and I think it was probably affecting that on some level. Even if it wasn't you feel like it is well, especially if you're using it as an escape, which sometimes guys do especially in a stressful situations where it's like. Maybe you have a kid or worrying about. your career, this people that will use it to instead of like dealing with situation, Del sort of hide behind the pot like they'll start smoking pot all the time and avoid dealing with things things they need to deal with. That is to say, can use pot actively or passively. You could fit
gap with anything man? That's what I think I think it's Grapefruit Simmons summons. What's the cover, that's the cover the cover of your next c great. Whoever made that who made that give them some prompts a falling art. maybe falling ardour, he I'll that all that story before any I've got a cup fan. Send me artwork slowly, Gregg run up on the wall in my office That's on the wall. That's hilarious, so five, that's a good one to relax your face. There that sort of a that's really similar, rolling Anna air. That is right funny yeah. I need a new brand. That's what I'm going to do, I'm going to change the grapefruit seven, how often you your podcast, you put it out every week twice a week for four years now episodes four hundred or so, but the back ones you have to get the premium membership. For I I give, I think, the first twenty
me the most recent and then the back ones are premium. and you have your show on serious errors at what time, at seven o clock on the West Coast and Howard, one hundred on Monday nights and that's been going on for a long six years. Six years, I think I was first on like five years ago you were like my first or second guess, really: yeah fucking great, oh wow, that's cool yeah, and it was. It was back when we hadn't hung out much. We had you know we just hadn't been in, Chaz Radar for Awhile- and it was like this connection- it was like fuck man that was like track. It was a good. Yes, you know focused talk and for an hour you thank God for podcast and radio shows ass. It were people going to sit down and- and she d shit like I was saying to someone on Twitter the day, someone who, What was saying they like the pod gas house and I loved unity, because one of the benefits for me
is besides no and the people and join is that I get to have his conversations I cut off, and would we have the time to sit down for three hours and just shoot the shit? No cell phone call nothing! No in nobody here in this room has checked to fuck and tax, no not get started. No, nothing You know, and I think that makes for it, makes for a good break in and also makes world a deep, intense conversation that maybe we have the time to do otherwise. Jamming how many Europeans, like my opinions to me, are who I am and the only way you're gonna get ones the that are legitimate are to go deeply into it with somebody couple people that your respect here and and challenge each other fuck around see. What's up Greg, its show on twitter followers, Me Dirty Fox. Those three hours did now is ass the ship lasses three twenty three already it's crazy.
Phoenix coming out there on the fifteen th the seventeen TH and one of the best clubs in the country, and when is your special coming out on August eighteen TH on comedy central at midnight, it is life on stage my one hour spec. I can't wait to see it. I know it's gonna be hilarious. I saw that that material in Seattle and San Francisco is fucking. Hilarious is very funny shit. I appreciate our sponsor for today. Legalzoom com go there use a code name Rogan, save yourself. Some cash and legal zoom is not a law firm. You fuck, they provide self, has help service at your specific direction. Halacha boy also one calm- that's, oh and- and I t use the code name Rogan and save ten percent of any and all supplements. I got some other shit gone on the sweet folks. I think we'll be back on Friday late afternoon, I will let you know soon and all those podcast that you see on the tv show people
asking me. Those are real podcasts. They look like people go to the fig podcasts hurt my soul, they're, actually real podcast! That's the only way we were willing to do it Duncan and I did real podcasts and they will be released as podcasts eventually, but until the show stops, Aron it'll all just be recorded. We got it, though Don't worry, we'll see you guys soon, thanks for the love, big, kiss, big hug, big love you Yeah.
Transcript generated on 2020-10-14.