« The Joe Rogan Experience

#440 - Dom Irrera

2014-01-14 | 🔗
Dom Irrera is a stand up comedian, and also hosts his own podcast called "Dom Irrera Live from The Laugh Factory"
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hello freaks i'm fucking multitasking right now as i speak to you i am actually tweeting that we're live and a lot of people are like dude you can't do that and i'm like dude i can i'm fucking badass only that i also turn the volume off on my computer at the same time i give zero fucks i really do boom tweet then done done this episode of the joe rogan experience podcast is brought to you by square space square space even contest that's why we do in two of them this week and with first base is is the easiest simplest way to get really bad ass website and when i get badass website i mean they look fucking completely and totally professional looks like you spent as shit load a dollars doing it but in fact you did it yourself it's
super easy to do and square space is having a contest right now to sort of x punctuate that because the feedback of square space has been so excellent and their contest is we're going to pick we the up to this week january 17th it ends and we're going to pay like four of the baddest most sweetest websites and for the people that you have created those four bata sweetest websites we're going to give them a free year of square space and we're going to send those winners a swag bag with items like square space apple keyboard t shirt molds kenmore water they have sound on their website how dare they were fucking age are they living in these freaks well they put sound on my website opens up so that it immediately starts annoying the shit out of you is a video i was playing the ha ha
you know in those old school website to go down and nearly start mine used to myspace members like five different songs going at the same time and glitter tax don't forget glitter tax quickly or tax would you choose to a my death and all no that is now you sure you don't wanna xanax no no no this is it's actually like speed yeah see opposite so it's not really speed it's it's actually called nuvigil is what it is you take that if i'm if i'm tired and i want to fire my brain up i can pop one of those in it's actually experiment because i tried something called sledge ling this weekend and jamie now actually just talking about it disgaea doctor gordon was here and he gave me these these smart drugs and just we tried it we both try to a dose of it and uh interesting interesting stuff so i'm comparing it to the fillmore lucid i don't know i'm not sure i'm not sure
and you know it's hard it's hard to tell like what what is my the fact that i got a good eight hour sleep what was the fact that a good food what was the washing they're all sort of there play a part of the thing to really find out you have to have a baseline where you ate like the exact same foods did the exact same activities got the exact same amount of sleep you have to have that baseline and then add in something but i take so many different nutrients vitamins and fucking nutro pics and all these different things with that prescriptions and it's all legal stuff is all most of it is nutrients must have vitamins keep in the brains shop dominate you gotta stay on the ball and go on stage over son your mind clicks into a different gear well you know well first of all you and i both eating dick on stage four and that's fucking terrible feeling so you can take that pulls your prep let me get through these commercials real quick so we could just start podcasts
we go tweet build a website and tweet the website the square space contest what are we talking about square space your fox pay attention tweet it do hashtag jre square space before january 17th so go to forcebase dot com enter in the code word joe and the number one which stands for where we are right now january and uh and you could save some money as well the thing that's beautiful about square space if you could do anything online like if you can if you go and just normal shit like drag and drop and click and if you're not a select things you could do this and the way that's it's so easy and so intuitive that they have it it up so you don't even have to enter your credit card information just go can try it if you like it and you say this is pretty bad ass boom then from there then you give him some money until then you're not obligated just go give it a shot use the
offer code joe and the number one and that's joe and the number one that's for a free trial and ten percent off your first purchas at square space dot com do do do do do do designs were scores postal code where space time matter there just has tag jrd squarespace you think you can do this you you are not a real computer wizard i'll tell you that you're a genius comedian but as far is q shooters lizard i would not so i would not argue in the windsor castle i think you could build a website on square space we should have a contest to see of dahmer erica bill the web space since we're not only a but we got you lick it up you can figure it out if you have like a hot assistant you know maybe hot the japanese assistant no mister yeah not on the number you wish to why would i put my computer comes on i i go yes i did it again mom and baby
we're also brought you by biting the thing is one of the sky space inting or two of my favorite podcast sponsors because they're both two gas sponsors that are having a single person tell me anything bad about and then someone listening to this right now is like will be that guy i'll be first fucked in can suck my dick in square space is filled with cunts fuck you joe rogan thing is a great is a great way to save money and use the sprint backbone you don't have to worry about being on some mom and pop cell phone network to use one of the biggest cell phone it works in the country and do it you know it's weird there from canada and they don't you know like they don't operate in canada they operate in that states you could roman canada but their canadian company that works in the united states yeah it's weird from try but yeah i think yeah anyway great guys and their idea of great gals too i'm sure there's some awesome gals working there i don't wanna be sexist but there
their ideas sell you awesome cell phone service and do so in an ethical way and uh bs mobile service if you will and they have no contracts no early termination fees and they even have an early termination fee relief program if you're paying in early termination fee to come to tang they will give you up to seventy five dollars back they will cry you twenty five percent of your early termination fee which is up to seventy five dollars per device it's really great company i really like the idea behind this cell something that's really excellent and do it in a way that doesn't make you feel like you're getting fucked ninety eight percent of all people who switch to ting save money i mean i've had very very good friends that have done it brians done it docked chris ryan did it and you know they rave about its excellent and did you save money tons of money charge you if you go over your allocated minutes text and data
but if you have a heavier month on tang you just pay for what you used it's really simple so no mysterious items on your bill and unlimited devices on one plan you can have as many devices as you want on one plan sharing pooled minutes message is megabytes everything each device on a plan costs a flat six dollars per month they have it's really good deals and the phones they sell are all the highest end android phones really cool ones like the galaxy note three this is what i have in bryan has the galaxy s4 which is another excellent phone the htc one is an excellent phone it used to be at one point in time that iphone was the king and everything else just sucked but it's very close now and i fact i give the edge to android just because our screens are bigger it's a way better experience if you if i'm reading my text messages or watching a video that someone sent me it's just a better experience on the big screen
sorry i pull i know you hate hearing this from me and i know can this is so long you know what i want is that new flexible phone have you seen that it flexes the whole phone for that's a believe it's just the screen right yeah i'm a led screen is no that's that's called yeah type of class plastic yeah good work out with the phone you could do a little in between the legs like suzanne somers and get your thigh master on with your phone to make fun of her she's a beautiful woman's heart so it's fuck tank go two tearing rogan dot tank dot com and you save five dollars off your first thing device when you sign up rogan dot tang dot com we love tang there an awesome come we're also brought to you by on it dot com that's and and i t they have a state program now which all the find product you love automatically delivered to your door each month at the lowest price guaranteed our ideas that people get annoyed with having to uh
over and over again by shit and order shit if you know what you like and if you used a consistently you can get it done and get it done this way and not have to think it much what on is is basically we call ourselves a human optimization website and what we try to sell you is all shit that we think can benefit you whether it's health whether it's cognitive function strength and conditioning we sell battle ropes and kettle bells and all things for making you the type a man that dom irara is i mean you're not going to get their intellectually but if you could just just become a man through these writers too much weight in my face am i gonna want to be brutally honest not gone yet delicious thank you you look soft and lovable calgon bath before i came over here said smooth skin you obviously not a man who has to work too hard
outside in the cold frigid temperatures i haven't done anything since i did started doing stand up and never work i don't have a tool i don't i don't want to that's good that's a real common that's why you still funny where was i rogan on it whatever go get a battle rope wrapped around your dick stretch that thing out you week fuck just go there and check it out on it dot com onn iti i can't even continue doing these type of like super descriptive commercials because the people that have heard a million times are freaking out but if you're interested go to use a code word rogan and save ten percent off any and all supplements all right
dom herrera is he an he super awesome i could you get a movie studio pichel broken experience join my day joe rogan podcast my name all day your real comedian dom irrera you know you just saying that for folks who didn't listen to the commercial part you don't what tool you know you never did a thing you never turned a wrench tool box there's two tool boxes in my house and they were left to women at live with me that i brought tool boxes i can't even lift it is one that can't lift i don't have sophie lifted it dad's hilarious every time somebody shakes my hand to go menu which left hands oh there bud the like butter smooth yeah that's that's
i really do believe that there's a real this real factor in that will you remaining on top of your game all these years like you surely you truly like completely you know your comedian that's it it's what you capable i love it i could do it in a hammock i followed just to lay on the other night at the he dennis standing visional efactor right i walk in and this was joy i had just woken up i took a nap like at nine hundred o'clock at night and the audience was stand i got now i said first of all screw just got a standing ovation i just woke up i said i was just in the bathtub like a big fat fag so lazy the only reason i was taking a bath coast too lazy to stand up and shave right did the crown then what would you do if you were me what the fuck am i supposed to do fly around the room and what do you mean after he asked me if he had a standing ovation we supposed to fly around the room i said don't tell me what to do and you know they were with me because it was honest but the thing is
what you were saying about just i i give a fuck totally but i don't give a fuck i could do it in a hammock at this point just my head out doing stuff that's actually not a bad idea to be pretty funny for to be a good act just yeah especially like if you was a part of like a comedy festival or maybe not even a regular set just like ladies and gentlemen we present utah moreira anna hammer and you just swing in back and forth with a wireless microphone in the area talking shit man of things changed as i started doing his show redmond is take an x on the road with him yet he took tiffany haddish which i tiffany yeah sure i said beautiful right but i said i would be afraid to fuck tiffany or even at them 'cause i just i'm intimidated by her in a sense that you called at a dick white boy mother fucker or have you ever seen her queef into a microphone she close
in dallas and it brought down the house people just couldn't couldn't understand it was happening like it was like a good ten second pause where everyone's faces like wait that that just happened that in any just destroyed so she just put the microphone in her box yeah and she had been on stage for thirty minutes so she had a wet pussy mostly so she had a wet pussy even be let's take it she said well it's amazing that honestly really that she's the first one to think of sticking a microphone in her pussy and queefing i don't remember it being done before i would have thought that society here someone would have picked that up by now is a cunt pioneer yeah but if you really think about it isn't it incredible that it's two thousand and fourteen for her what was it like two thousand and twelve why did she start queef and she was on the podcast on the ice house chronicles like what two years ago maybe it might have been either twelve two thousand and twelve or two thousand and thirteen either one of 'em either a year and a half ago but she was she was cuifen
and i was thinking then i was like i don't think anybody does this it's kind of amazing but you would thought that somebody would have locked at that i mean that's been around for a long time the fact that no suck a microphone is any guide just committed to just farting on stage all the time i mean as as one communion is this hard doing it ok let's hear it i couldn't play this stuff part of the ford to man i got really impressed as far north on stage if you see it close up she like like kind of filter back a little and you could see our sucking air and so you don't follow that note to needed and he's sick right now he might from the microphone i think
so did you imagine if he really died because the microphone imagine if you actually caught aids from microphone like what the fuck might not saying that if in cash i think at all yeah god damn man she how to find them and i am so proud of her she's she's on the arsenio hall now trying to build up that if his queen queen feb is a well it is fascinating to me i mean it's this first of all it's fascinating because it even though you are say womans on stage she could reference her vagina she could point to it she could show it to you when someone starts talking with it yeah well you know that noise came from that of a giant of that is is with several levels several levels more intimate her pussy is talking to you you had a pleasant talking boy texas girls didn't know how to act either their face and no one should know how to act listen no one on the planet for the reason why we know letter actors 'cause we're deviance
for deviance and we've been around fucked up people our entire lives i mean you've been around no one but fucked up people since we started working together and i've been around no one but fucked up people for a decade before that so you know our perspective is a bit skewed the boyfriend drive into the thing telling his girlfriend to show maybe a little maybe little queen yeah imagine if a girls like really serious christian and you know i'll go to the show because i think brian redban's cute but i heard this rural tiffany haddish makes say tannic remember the hooker that we mute along time ago that on the joe show yeah yeah in the parking lot of the comedy store shoes like telling us how she did the business and stuff i was really stoned like i wonder if she's still a hooker and i found her online still hooker oh my god i've wait like ten years she didn't get a low school nope help
so weird how easy it was to find are too yes torn i gotta be honest i'm torn on the whole idea of prostitution 'cause i feel like i always feel like you should be will do whatever the fuck you want if you want to have sex with someone for free you should be able to have sex with someone for free if a guy wants one thousand dollars if you jerk him off and you like right then you should be able to do that it should be legal there should be no more no more did no more different than if you want to get a massage like no one wants to massage you man you're paying them to massage you when go to a spa and you get a rub down for an hour person does not want to do that given the money and they're making you feel good with their fingers you should do whatever the fuck you want and it's also our societal standards that are fucked up and weird about sex that said when i hear that someone's a hooker like that in sweden for ten years it does not feel good it feels sad it feels
she's lausten lost and she's in a bad place and torn because i don't know if that's my own by perceptions maybe she's meeting a bunch of people that are like really desperate for touch and you know maybe should picks good clientele and they have sex and she had said it's paid and who gives a fuck maybe it's that maybe it's that mean but instantly you say that she still hooker and i'm like but i'm like i'm pushing myself i'm like why you know why does it always have to be bad is it because we were associated sex with something that you're in your it's naughty you're not supposed to do it so some for a living and somehow or another a bad thing i used to get prostitutes at but in fact the regular girl live on their own this 'cause it was wild was the curiosity of it if i had one ounce iges left seriously i would get like i have like say like a waitress or something on the road club and she go and they call a prostitute
total attic oh that's hilarious that blood pressure medications you think that's part of that just being italian yeah really do you know there's always been that like ridiculous stereotype of italians is like over sex goons but there's a reason why that stereotype is not for chinese guys there's a reason why that stereotype is not for fill in the blank it's like the over sexed a push goons vera talent is because they are the folks over five years every day every day the couple is a couple times a day even when she was reading i didn't need to know that but now that i do i feel better yeah it's a it's the my all my ancestors my fucking my family back home so the italians i knew when i grew up with that they were savages they would have blue mars they call him like that
to go more out on a friday night in the wipeout on saturday did you see that new movie american hustle i fell asleep i know i i heard that movie sucks from so many people i don't know really it's like you were in a watch the and i enjoyed that movie i haven't home they sent it to me sex and it's it's so it would be bragging about the sad thing yeah the city got everybody kind of break is a well if it if it gets bootleg we know where it came from because tom a rare really knows those now i had the agreed to accept the agreement well going to try it right right well this new thing they have now somebody told me about online we can get movies as they come out they cost five hundred dollars and it's like you have a box in your house and that box stores a certain amount of movies wow yeah yeah i'll send you the information i sent it to the guy who did the av in this place my and he said yeah it's legit he said it's a new bring it sets up to your house you could store
x amount of movies you could have like ten movies on it at any one time and they're all in your name and they don't go anywhere they just plug it in his box and you can play on your tv and each movie cost like five hundred dollars wow which is weird man like that is a lot of fucking money but i was at the movie theater at once the american hustle and this car pull behind us just cab talking it was not very many people in the theater so they were talking pretty loud because there was no one next to them and let's don't realize that probably do realize you're being rude 'cause they thought they were far away but they don't really help your voice carries so everybody else is trying to i say that i was going to bring yeah but i was really frustrating but you know i just dealt with it and watch the movie i didn't say anything but a guy got shot in florist retired cop had a gun on him and he was texting and talking he was texting texting in the theater and this cop wanted get an altercation with them i mean that's step one and then step you know ultimate
step ten or whatever it is is shot him who knows what happened the card asked him and you could have gone fuck you bitch or or could have gotten crazy you know seventy two years old or something too well maybe he's just ready to die on his own and he was like i know there gonna start killing kids until one of them gets me this way like arclight 'cause now you could pick your seats but then if there's somebody that's talking or something there's like a guy that just pretty much stands in that movie theater but there on it like yeah you're right there's another place called cindy opolis that's even more dope they have these giant lounge chairs like you fully recruit the reclined they sell food the food's really delicious and it's way better experience people don't fucking talk so it might be worth the five hundred dollars is my point to have new movies as they come out when ip work what you do is you get the box and you set up a camera in a dark room and you film it then we make a dvd of it and then we sell it to our friends for twenty dollars each and get the five
do you wanna go to jail you just retarded which one is that was my first line to him when i first time i didn't show was the way we that what are you retarded i how you handled you is beautiful how to handle you know how you handle that when you met him ultimate is well i think is right but i love him i don't know if i would pay five hundred dollars for a movie though that seems like a lot of god damn money that seems like at this point in time it's like unless you really don't unless you really annoyed by the public and then have that much money doesn't matter yeah but the problem is the more you do like that if you you know you could become a hermit man it could be how we come home if you really paid attention to a group of people are yeah you could really at one point time force yourself into the mountains somewhere just be completely isolate you hello well you handle really well you have a lot of patience it's not our it's a bunch of people being nice to you but when we
pull when somebody wants to take a picture that's a little too much well it gets annoying that that gets annoying when you're in the middle of some obvious activity or when you're eating your eating is a dumb one that's like come on with mouthful to shake your hand to the one did your hand they want you to cut i've had a lady in a vegas asked me to come over to her i'm in the middle of eating out a mouthful of food high where canada we would like it if you could come over to our table and i'm like what like i'm eating now i'm not going to wow wow why would you ask someone i couldn't imagine going up to someone i didn't know and just ask them to come or table where big fans of fear factor like it come over to our table dick ulous remember when bush was for started getting famous back at the improv in 80s and this guy comes up to me start shaking his hand he wouldn't let it go they just keep sending old bruce is looking at me and he goes and the guy goes donna get the get the cam get the camera to card now like he was order my steps i took a picture
i first saw any any of my friends get that glimpse of fame and the in part of it we just held on trying to get the camera and he's shaken bruises and bruce is looking at me like i'm supposed to do you can't win be pulled away you fucking punch him whether you do some people are definitely crazy some people are just too excited to meet someone like bruce willis too it's like it's not natural i don't know what he thinks that happen it's kinda cool i give you see bruce willis like ooh that's bruce was you know it's the guy from moonlighting as the guy from diehard yeah that's bruce willis he was in fuck in pulp fiction yeah i always tell people just enjoy their work yes enjoy the work leave me alone because if they met some p will they be such a fucking disappointment to them yeah you know my oh i don't know man it's just some people just aren't used to it in california i think more people are used to seeing famous people said they don't bother here they don't say
thank you i like you work till after the check is done so they're not trying to pump up the tip you know yeah there's a little bit of that i'm sure but california doesn't give a fuck it's like if you're famous or not famous is so many famous people here it's not that big of a deal but if you're famous person like say in you moved iowa or something like that tell your i b right i know that just as a comedian because in lumbis ohio i get recognized more i can recognize out here but i might get recognized but they don't give a fuck what you have big following columbus you know it's kind of interesting how comics develop followings in one city or another and i'm never really quite understood that but you know how there is that issue like like the the best examples that guy bob marley love but more with greg yeah great salt of the earth people sweetheart of a guy i've known him for twenty plus years bob to bob and bob was an open mic are in maine we come how to do next
stomp and he would he did a guess at one of our shows on the roux he was like the bangor house comedian this place but it's real sweetheart of a guy in a very funny guy but my point is that he's a huge act in maine like people sells books and blooms and yeah lots you might have heard of like most of the you know if you if you're calling fan that you know you know you might have heard amman sirius satellite radio or cinema comedy central's on my top but you have no idea tell me a great story about billy crystal they get into an elevator him and chuck butch bradley and billy crystal was there in bible as in the brooklyn hey billy will you know nice to me we're comedians and he's got a mountain home in a like kind of really bob system eagle i don't know whether the fucking push to stop but then beat the fuck out of her just let it go he said so he let it go while billy crystal prob
stop being a comedian somewhere along the line well you know what i mean stop being a comedian oh yeah if that if you do that you stopped being a community and he was always really nice to me and then one time i interviewed interviewed him in dinero for this comedy central thing and he was real small logan shit like he turned against me like janeiro like is kind of thick you know and i said him 'cause he sang when air is thick and what we can mentali like he's really he's not he's not there you know like real quick it means a great actor but that's a whole different story but dinero i i said don't because he sang and analyze that and i say i love you sing and i always look does more than anything i love your singing obviously i'm kidding i know i says you with the definitive tevia in fiddler on the roof and the arrow goes thing you like you can get it he was barely paying attention to and billy was like i mean that's exactly what it was ability was like you know kind of snap but i'm thinking man bill turn on me another comedian just go with it
i think sometimes a guy like him will get tired of being the center of attention you know because i think to be that kind of an actor he's not yeah to be that kind of an actor don't you think he's lost his legacy by the doing these stupid films he's definitely ask but i'll tell you what he was in american hustle and he's fucking gangster in it bad i love to get him out and he says very small part but it's vintage dinero but that's my question like what when you worked how much you have taxi driver and raging well in you right in your resume but we're going to go from there i mean he just wants to work so he's doing the fockers and all this stuff and well maybe he enjoys it though that's the other thing i mean it's like he obviously enjoys working no pressure to be so big that you can't just do medium shit so you know so he put in some of the greatest performances of all time the cape fear oh he's fucking cheese
chrysler's fourteen with their fine when he was in the the the empty theater with the yeah girl put it in his finger in his finger in her mouth yeah it was for a while it was wild it was a crazy moving he was one of the scariest guys ever as menacing got hit and taxi drivers or will he always deteriorated in owning up even in king of comedy he got crazier and crazier as the movie one that's right king of comedy oh my god i forgot about pumpkin you know what i saw the other day i'm going to have to sit down and watch the whole thing but i was flipping through the channels and it was on was a fabulous channels or what whatever somehow another was watch a small piece of it deer hunter yeah i was having fucking god damn that's a good movie i had to stop it and i said you know i can't start in the middle here and just watch it from here i'm going to i'm going to come back to this watch this as a full movie that movie deserves to be watched as a full movie just flipping through the channels and catch that not big
is this is sons of italy day but the switch doesn't really know to put the switch another time pacino in dog day afternoon ever see that fantastic movie i saw it again last year fucking incredible fantastic movie yeah well what a weird plot two oh yeah there's tricks change your story yeah yeah but like the genie do i mean i'm john cassels no it was it was that it was ingenious noble his buddy who is pushing giant cells from he was who's frado keep yeah exactly he played such a weird freaky character and chino was so all yeah was like there was such a different person like this in a guy who's robbing a bank to pay for a sex change what yeah yeah normal seemed a little too together to be that guy
almost a little too today went outside that was one in attica came from attica attica there was a big movie man yeah i was reading about him 'cause they don't want to cast him in the godfather godfather's michael corleone for the wonderful redford really robert redford right and then they and they watched and somehow they couple of one that him and he finally got 'em in and how great how great was in that movie are you spector transition between michael in the godfather i think those gay is it to those movies like pacino and narrow harvey keitel and all these like historical actors after awhile just fucking work you know yeah so i can till the next really big project comes up till some and it comes up don't i understand so bronchitis jungang no not bragging i know but it's like to keep up that level work
you know to keep the level of work that they did like samuel like pulp jackson pulp fiction keep up that level of work i mean that's like spectacular god damn movie and do you follow yourself the part is so perfect that's one of the most menacing parts ever as another menacing like the missing part of dinero cape fear samuel jackson tn part as the hit man who's talking shit to you before he shoots you about your cheeseburger that is indeed a tasty burger he was can horrifying man that was but the scene in true romance was talking about the remember who it was in do you talk about we need to talk about africa yeah yeah yeah gary oldman is turnovers agario christopher walken when he was talking about sicilians yeah yeah yeah yeah the dennis walker in dennis hopper that was one of the heaviest fucking scenes and but some comedy in it
yeah same with jackson in pulp fiction was a mother fucker did when he would quote the bible before you shoot you wallet said bad motherfucker on it it jerry curls running around a suit shooting people that was a that was a wild part yeah he's he's a good menacing motherfucker he's got crazy eyes and thanks for doing my podcast anytime my brother appreciate it can i do a shameless plug yeah sure did mine because these fucking clubs this shows so bye big everybody asked me if i can do it if i can run thirty seconds ok what are you talking what do you just wanted to mention where i'm going to be doing stuff written down yet because they drive me who's driving you crazy any club i'm going to do this show all right done side splitters in tampa knoxville side splitters laugh factory
cargo long beach vegas funny bone columbus denver comedy works stress factory uh can cook any island this is all great but this is not the way let me tell you the best way but in the future just get a twitter that you do you post on a regular basis and have all your dates up on twitter and then send people to your twitter or send people to your calendar that represents who you talking to these people are not going to remember all these things that's the problem when you say a bunch of things in a row that loses their meaning if you say go to domirara dot netor dot com boom follow me on twitter how much do you do on twitter do you get on twitter all the time now all the time i do it if i get drunk you know i did some profound ball great way to promote gigs here yeah you're great at that shit but you do it at all do you do it before each week to tosh got me into it he did it we did a retweet i went from like four followers to ten thousand 'cause he retweeted me don't read it yeah yeah
touches his gigantic right now you know what's weird about twitter and like just being around for awhile justin bieber has like forty four million something like that and paul mccartney has a million right now no it's different worlds but incredible though it is incredible it seems like uh i don't think paul mccartney is tweeting all the times yeah does he use it 'cause justin bieber actually uses yeah yeah that's the big thing with of those guys he's always in left fact you know he wants to do stand up what do you put in on i was just a story of a b beginning his house rated this morning yeah i'm cocaine so far in it yeah they're they're looking order because he recently made his neighbors house and caused over fifteen to twenty thousand dollars worth of damage alleged liberal allegedly but supposedly this video allegedly and i guess over four hundred dollars it's a felony so they the rating is i'm looking for any connections to that and you know they
any drugs on the way they can just arrest him for anything crazy they need ten cop cars to rust justin bieber so they took him in yeah yeah i think what the deal is is like if recently in the news they've been just he's been just terrorizing his neighborhood he's been terrorizing this kind of posse with them you know yeah which is hilarious that would suck if you had some multi million dollar house and he lived in this really nice place and then you had this crazy fuck living next door to you driving down the street like fish mph while your daughters in this drive you know that sucks he think i'll end up killing himself well if he's doing the coke it's not a good sign irara doing the coke is not not nobody just like is really good at coke like there's some people that are good at surfing and surfing is hard if i tried surfing at fall flat on my fucking face you get good at surfing you do it for a while you learn how to perfect it no one yes that way with cocaine oh you know i said to you along time ago joe that when you did pot it changed you and i think it really helps you i never said that coca never see you know tony is doing a lot more
oakley usually done his life together yeah a lot of people say that about meth guys do methanol sudden they really fucking straighten up get their life in order to pull your gums look good well that's the problem with labeling a drug is a drug you know like saying it's uh is it seems like they're all the same thing you know not there what drug is is something that effects your brain but the vast majority of them are good there's a lot of good drugs there's lot i did wrong i don't think caffeine's a good drug to draw i mean you might not like it but i like a fucking cup of coffee it's good you know i like the fact that uh you know there's the these drugs that could help people that are sick there's drugs that can help people that are in intense pain is drug there's a lot of drugs that have like some real beneficial effects and then this drugs that will ruin your life
drugs and nobody survives is the the opiates the heroin the meth the the speed it's the ones where you here but these terrible stories of people's lives completely falling apart can kind of include pot in there i've heard people talk about other people that ruin their life on pause yeah but that's them inside that's just their look or something to ruin their life i agree and i see that the same ways gambling you know the gambling thing people think that compulsive gambling is very different than drugs i don't think it's different at all now i think it's all the same size somehow or another you get hooked on a drug except this time you're getting a drug from taking a risk i believe it can have that would sex oh sure with anything that masturbation this guys that have masturbating their dick raw and then like try to figure out other ways of jerking off i'm not looking at you in the eyes 'cause it's you i'm just saying yeah
for everything which weird and then the people get addicted to south the physical addictive part is really weird that will be like a chemical attach itself to our system yeah and then you need chemical i guess what they say about amy winehouse they found no drugs in her system and i think that she just quit drinking if you are really serious alcohol can you just cut it off entirely you can actually diving on the compulsions wow i didn't know that yeah yeah yeah amy winehouse when she died apparently it was just proves you know never he looks at her and you think of where is this this mess you know this this awful drug addict boozer pill poppin but so you know it was alcohol i love drag you know i still drink a lot but i i would never wake up and drink that's that's i mean i'm not saying that's a good i'm not condone my type of drinking but man when you wake up and have a year shots that's that's her
you're not going to last long doing that you really put in your liver into overdrive amy winehouse was talented as fuck though is god damn she could saying she had such a sold tree voice he ever hear about people not talented been because he ended nobody cares i mean it's like look at all the great people that died at twenty seven like people from the 60s joplin hendrix morrison all three of them died at two thousand seven hundred and twenty seven misses is a baby at twenty seven also stupid like it was play basketball the comedian yet well i think we missed that generation that hendrix and janis joplin generation if you talk to anybody that went through that they say the change from the time of their parents to the was so massive and it was so much different than anything this cultured ever seen before revolutionary change and that was all fueled by drugs all of that that was marijuana and lsd specifically
yeah that's what was changing all those people and that's why they came up with that weeping psychedelic act in nineteen seventy that made everything illegal they didn't i have to have like proof of bob availability need some stuff illegal well it doesn't even affect you doesn't even fast was legal before that right acid was a mushrooms like guys used to give people at cary grant used to take us don don not well that's having yeah well they didn't support supposedly according to cannot the federal government originally came up when they found out about acid they thought it was going to be a truth serum they thought they were going alright give it to the enemy grab hook but with acid and then they would tell him all the coordinates for the enemy bases and they found out it was not a truth serum there's no fucking way the truth you're crazy now so they decided that it was gone
to be something that they would give their soldiers in case they ever got caught so you wouldn't tell the truth but could you fucking imagine there you you're in war okay you're some poor kid even shipped off to germany you got a machine gun in your hand people are shooting at you know your are whizzing overhead and you get captured well fucking terrified to you you shit in your pants you're going to die oh my god i'm getting captured by the nazis and then you take acid like was there ever worse advice ever i mean proof positive that the government is not looking out for your best interest they give you can acid to take when you get a captured by enemy only fuck that so dick ulous that was always like a paranoia of mine is getting somebody put something in my drink should be is a lot assholes out there i never leave the drink in a bar i never you know i always tell especially women don't don't trust
anybody how would somebody loves you know i've talked to many people that believe that they were drugged many people i think that there's a lot of guys out there that do that on regular basis it's one of the most disgusting things about men is this that you keep hearing about i mean i'm sure it happens with that women do it too weather to other women or whether to men but i hear about it with men doing it to women a lot it's scary the that someone would be going to do that that there's such a fucking sociopath that they're the willing to drug someone who wants to be with somebody who's just asleep i mean i guess it's a different kind they just wanted i think it's part of it as they know they're doing something evil part of it is they know they're getting away with something and that there i just want to do it 'cause it's a crazy rush you know i was thinking about that would rape you know there was a woman it was raped in the lower east side like
out of her body and i was just thinking about you believe i went there that's not funny tom stop is funny it's horrible it's quick but anyway i was thinking out like how to fuck do you stay hard i mean it's got to be uh it just anger and violence because it can't be sex or anything because look how do you stay how are you hurting somebody for some people take their clothes off and fucking it's crazy i think some people just have a horrible view of humanity of themselves of other people you know and almost all comes down to if you i'm willing to do that to somebody else like that you don't love yourself you don't love yourself you have been treated with love it's really that simple if you hurts a month scare them and put terror in them and that somehow another gives you joy or gives you some sort of a rush and you plan to sacrifice this person's safety and how you don't
stan the connection between human beings like you you've been raised in the terrible at whatever's happened to you along the way is it desire start your terrifying aspect of society how differently can be programmed you could react like that you know yeah i mean think about all the different variables when it comes to creating a human being if you get abused that's the big one and people that have used in the recidivism rate for people that were raped themselves you know the way they turn to violent and violence sexuality it's it's really really common and then the people that do it though people that abuse kids or abuse anybody the real issue with is they don't seem to get better like it's a weird thing like they always have that desire they had this guy on our talk show once and he was talking about it was he was a sex predator
and he was a reform sex predator you did time and all that jazz and he would just talk about how when the thoughts come up he just fights come back so he was reform because a lot of them say that they can't be reformed well he says he can't i mean he's controlling it but i mean that the fact is he's also admitting that he has these feelings all the time it's a up thing like what it what is that i mean we want to hate and we want to judge and you know it is an awful awful ass effect of humanity but just strictly scientifically like what is that he was not most likely right yeah most likely unless there's something else wrong in the development of the mind some you know blood got cut off to the wrong area i mean i don't know i'm guessing but fuck man that's a terrible combination we we figure out how to eliminate that just if you who illuminated if you looked at all the you know
one hundred and eighty degrees of possibilities of people from really nice people to really fucking evil people the really evils a small number if you could eliminate all the really fucked up shit people do like murder and rape if you could just take away murder and break just those two murder rape and robbery i can understand murder more than rape i can understand that yeah the space specially you know when you hear about how hot people get just an hour a role in a movie theater yeah you know got shots got shoots a guide for texting you know and whatever words were exchanged but yeah but if you could eliminate just that small amount boy would things be different man you could just figure out a way to not develop rapists not grow up murderers not let you know if we just figure out how to do that just this thing is that none of us have done just things that most of our friends haven't done just take those you know
because those are the rare occurrences and eliminate them or drastically reduce them the whole world will be different number the comedian vince something men's champ yeah the one was or the rapist yeah and he would go into colleges colleges but also when the patterns in we go into the music department where it was improve the room and when the girl be playing piano there's some practicing piano that's that's what he would do you know he had the whole thing down oh no oh that stare this name vince channel think it was vince champ i don't know yeah i think that's name because on the wall the austin club cap city they used to have this vince champ joke i forget with the oh really very distasteful about like when he got arrested for rape there some joke about it that's a lot that's a that's a long way from ady yeah
well it's also like a really creepy thing that this guy was doing he was doing it over and over again and he was telling them to pray for him oh really yeah yeah it was would rape these girls and tell him to pray for him without the right name red bay it looks like it yeah yeah that white guy or black guy there's all these reports he was a nice guy everyone said yeah fairly religious fellow yeah and he still in jail oh yeah he'll be in jail for awhile yeah they keep in jail for a long time when your serial rapist i mean how long is the engine we write that down along with my comedy clubs it's gotta be more than twenty five years convicted of rape kidnapping and robbery he stole two there wasn't enough
and we're not just talking jokes dom approach a quick little pieces of things from them or something that's often times people supposed to do that yet take little pieces of something from you connects them like as a trophy several rapes above that in the music like playing the piano exactly so often nineteen year old is convicted and given life sentence is for two assaults in iowa with time server could behave he could be released in two thousand and twenty five he will be sixty four years how is life two thousand and twenty five how how to do that yeah i in life doesn't really mean life anymore it's a yeah it's like thirty years of life while they're too busy putting people in jail for pox there's no room let's deal with the of the people in denver that not let them use banks weed is legal there selling weed they made over one million dollars in the first day in the government says you can't put your money in the bank well what are you going to do exactly
wait the people that are selling the weed exactly the people that are owning these pot shop so this is a doctors or anything like california there's no no no no this is stores this is just label westerdam then well it's just like any ounces in a store it's like cell intense or fucking microphone arm you know it's whatever he's selling a product but the fact this is available for sale and they they have licenses and they start selling it in retail outlets outlets but the government you can put your money in the bank so they wanted so like some serious danger because you talking about massive amounts of cash well they probably had a lot of cash before it was legal i don't think so why would you think so i mean some people are just be able to take a chance to start a business yeah but they didn't pick with credit cards for when they saw a pile the streets any deal you know how do you know they were dealers before this how i don't this is this is now that it's legal in the state this is like a protected business that's a bit i mean it's a real legal business they have a license to do it and everything so
it becomes a weird thing when you don't let those people put the money in the bank because you're creating a really dangerous situation that doesn't make sense it's really dangerous i never thought the illegal legality of pot made sense and i don't even smoke so i have no agenda it's just such a stupid thing as such i mean compared to nothing else but it shows you how the government is not looking out for your best interest if there will to take these people who are doing something that they voted on and they deem lawful and take these people an put i'm in a weird situation where they can put their money in a bank you're being a bully like you're being county shitty boulianne it doesn't make sense like you protecting anybody with this this is this is actually putting people in danger so what do you do you're not going to arrest them agreed the state says it's legal and states rights as you know as we all agreed on when they formed this the country states rights is supposed take precedent it supposed to be the number one thing and then the federal
government is only in charge in times of crisis and emergency in war and but you're so to be able to vote on things like in your states like the whole premise like a little spite move current mood is a total moved and it's not just a move it's it's it's it's nerve wracking it's a it's like you're forcing these people to the stockpile money if they will maybe in business they have to take bags of money out of there anybody could just rob them at any point in time and you know it and they know it and so you put them in a situation where they become targets it's a really sneaky way of being a concert you would think that they would want the money to become part of the system of government they show us more money you know someone's resisting and they think somehow or another as they lose ground over and over and over again they're gonna do this one thing that's going to be good and get get him back to the the v but it's not is too much information now it's not going to work anymore can't do it anymore you can't tell us that we can't do so that's normal and natural there's nothing wrong with pod have
tell us we can't put money in the bank because we sell pot then we tell you what fucking bang what are you talk about who runs this bank how how can decide what the fuck happens in this bank is the government the bank connected like what's going on here how can you make this decision who owns that money why can't why can't someone who's legally making it put it in a bank what are you trying to pull here will you business moves what you're doing your boy knocking someone out of business that's what you do knows they still government because they sell and shrubbery so is there making the money what do you do how do you who dictates which money came from the pot i mean you have to ever seeds ok dom irrera accounted one hundred and one that's why you know you can't deduct everything if you deduct too much the government goes after you just in spite and then they go after your ass they'll pick up your ass every four years like i remember when before they had the claim stuff and i was a ballet in brooklyn i would make
how much fucking money i had a suitcase for a1 that looked like i robbed the dollar store it was the greatest this then you know now waiters and waitresses up to claim everything right but that was a great world in the 80s before it changed they came down hard on them on tips yeah you're more for tip yeah um sort of worked at a car wash you got paid in tips there all right couple different places limo driver kind of my driver yeah you got tips as a limo driver but you know not the big party never had a way to them now i never worked as a waiter i worked as a cook couple places really yeah where it is okay papa gino's in massachusetts it's in a place called newport creamery that's gonna be fucking cheeseburgers and shit i was a kid in high school it's good gig everyone was fucking everybody oh my god there is he's a hot girls that worked at newport creamery and me
and a couple other savages this guys and it was we were all coming into puberty everybody was like one thousand six hundred and seventeen you know we were all coming into actually needs impurity we're becoming men young adults in men and everybody was fucking everybody it was this constant hook up it was like this all is gossip plano thinking we're going to put the cheese burgers get laid choose great it's all wars all high school kids it was a complete utter orgy it was this the girl was the fucking worked at the counter would blow you and and this this guy was trying to bang everybody and this guy didn't give a fuck and this girl fuck these three guys one night she got hammered and craziness we is a girl in fact it really want to fuck you yeah yeah and i told she last night she's asking me last night she like this i talk about this in their know know everything
cool i totally you're married and happy and love your family so i said leave me alone thank you priest oh you got damn wolves hello there out there i think would be weighed creepy you are checked off your famous check that a bunch of guys want to fuck that would be very unnerving that would be amy schumer better than amy schumer yeah the comedian yeah we've seen a lot of guys yeah do you yeah i do so weird time for confession feel better get it off my where'd that come from you talking on a mission we sure what's on your walk when off to amy schumer now knowing and ended on a work often the visual
groups do you have like a wall of female comedians so there is still room listening resume training or following hello i like women blooming there you down there do you she's a woman to the and funniest mechanism i worked in montreal for fucking years one thing she has balls and she's a good actress but i have never seen anybody suck the energycap out of a room that you know how remember the club soda and she is so far strong woman but she's so fucking because she was so bad that they didn't but i saw people like trying to think of something funny to happen to him that day so maybe they could smile and she died so badly and then and she turns to me and like almost in slow motion like a twilight zone goes down you give me the line i got jenny i don't give lights i'm just hosting the show whatever you want you want to come over 'cause now i'll stay i'll stay in for
and i for three more minutes is brutal anyway well she's a person that is very smart obviously she's very opinionated she was a good radio host she was on the air america show just not a fuck this is very smart but it's similar in that in that intel since you can sometimes be like really caught up and take yourself super seriously and then when you do a lot of times you lose your sense of humor she was so rude to me i did mark marriage podcast in in austin and she was on he said they were talking about some terrorist thing and i yes i i said i know that you know i named the wrong guy right i was just like not paying attention her in norton's people she goes to see serious is easier i wasn't there he serious i just want the fucking throttle i just was nice and when when i on stage and i was fine very hollywood move of her is he seriously serious
well you know you interrupted there really exciting talk about obscure shit right or political shit or world leaders that they think need to be addressed people get angry if people are not on the same page you know i think it's funny when i talk to someone they don't even know what the fuck twitter is i think it's funny i don't get angry at him i don't feel like you don't know twitter like really what you know is what you know i mean look i know a lot about sports you don't follow the nfl like i do but i would never be like you know coin show how could you not know that the only thing i can see it would be annoying as if you were interrupting if it was like it was like a really important conversation for them and they thought they were really getting out a good point and you were cracking some jokes the wrong i know i didn't do that i just was asking was that the guy and then it's just when she said it was the guy who is the president of iran they were talking about people take themselves really seriously but i've done that before i've taken myself too seriously before we're getting too caught up in an idea before
point where you you know think it's more important than just being a person yeah but part of that is mitt which makes you such a fucking hilarious comedian because your point of view is an abstract you just see where it once you believe in something that's it and i'd like that just kind of commitment to it i mean i mean when you get like is about the universe and when you get into certain things i don't know much you really know but i've so much like you you're preaching nine the bear weigh in atlanta pedantic way but just in a way is like always shit i think that's why you have so many fans 'cause you feel fucking strong in your beliefs some more people waiver than you maybe i don't know man when we talk about things like the universe or just the realities of this strange dimension that we exist in the same folder yeah we played the same thought about the earth's orbit and we have no control over it 'cause i told you that a gora phobic thing that i have will work on to the beach and be afraid that would be sucked into the atmosphere yeah and that's fucking wack
pretty crazy and that would be the first ones to the blessed mother than ascended into heaven you know you're just laying on the beach also in a bucket shooting up in the disco and this guy it's a weird fear i know but who i always carry anchors with me to the beach were so lucky that this is a time where you could go on to just you know space dot com or any well i nine comes one million different websites that could show you these crazy videos of the universe and crazy new things discovering every day i think is be a shame to not like take in the wonder of that all because it's all going on right now and the revelations that these guys are figuring out on a weekly monthly nearly basis or fucking incredible they just took a photograph of santa ana star i saw that as the something million light years where so it is it's already burned out but we just got the light from it yeah is that true yeah
i'm just sorry but already gone in reality but it took so long for the light to get here we just got it hurts my brain then uh my brain when you're looking at a star you're seeing a star that may be already gone well the thing that fucks me up is that there's no end to the universe use doing in like the end of the trail the end of this the end of a relationship kind of fucking end but there's no end in the men's enormity of space left by blows me away well not only is there no m any to it this is what they're saying now it's it doesn't make any sense to me but they could break they believe that the universe may be broken down into individual sizes but then these individual universes exist in parallel with a bunch of other infinite number of individual universes so what they think is that this is
for me to even understand so i shouldn't even be relaying it but this is how it's been explained inside every black hole they think is the portal in another universe inside every galaxy is a black hole so when look at you see a hundred million galaxies what you're seeing is one hundred million universes in each side each galaxy if you go through the black hole in the side coif there's probably do in somewhere on that on those planets imagine if tiffany haddish was the first person to creepy no microphone in the universe in the whole universe the whole maybe that's what brings the aliens here we never thought of that we can do that we never thought of that not into a market lease this is really groundbreaking this american art form of stand up comedy but so the what they're saying is it's like it's like a fractal go to fractal is you ever seen like a fractal image know a fractal
which is a geometric image that as you get closer and closer and smaller and smaller and closer and you realize that the same image repeats itself over and over and over again in fit in an infinite more fascinating once called the mandel brot set google mandelbrot set fractal video cuz there's a video where they show how it works it's each first of all it looks like a design like you just look at it it's like ok it's just some weird design it looks like i don't know like logo for a cartoon or something like that i like to some weird design but then as get closer and closer to this design it branches out all along the edges are not smooth and around the edges are in fact the exact same pattern of the mandelbrot set the way it looks on the outside and then as you get closer and you see it again and closer in you see it more it never ends it's infinite like what do you got there mandel brot set
you see that thing to the right of it see the thing to the right the black one that's the mandelbrot set the one above it the one above that the see that one the black one yeah that's it the black one that's the mandelbrot set it's fractals are fascinating man because they're able to create these things with computers that you know didn't fifty years ago and actually i don't even know when they invented fractals i think it might have been even more recently than fifty years ago the idea behind the mall is that their infinite that as you go deeper into the macro into the micro you see that this pattern repeats itself over and over again this is the best way to describe the fact this mathematical set that typically displays self similar patterns which means that they are the same from near as far off and they have an irregular or fractured appearance but
not always fractals may be exactly the name at every scale or as illustrated in figure one they may be nearly the same at different scales the definition of fractal goes beyond self similarity anyway what they think is that the universe is like this i think that inside every every black hole is a whole another universe not only is it infinite but it might even have its own laws made it out his own physical laws of movement and weight and gravity and light and all those things might be different it might be off it might be completely different existence and then in so at those universes are hundreds of billions of galaxies and in at them hundreds of billions of infinite new universes i always that when they say you know we're searching for a place that has water so they could have life but how do we know that there can't be different kinds of lives that don't dip don't it's it all hurts my head it all hurts my head and that's why i'm a commit
who is this thing on does hurt my head when i when i start thinking about that each galaxy would actually be infinite like they'll say that even though maybe the universe is fifteen billion light years across it's still infinite because even though it it's impossible to measure billion light years yeah teen billion light years light travels one hundred and eighty six thousand miles per second billion of that fifteen billion i mean that that's the idea is that the big bang occurred fourteen something billion years ago and from then on it's it's been this expansion the slow expansion to what we are today to a club you open this week i'm not working take him going pig hunting are you really calendar no no no the steve renella we're not filming this we're just going to go shoot some wild boars by serious i'm totally serious
hello janet life man well i'm very excited about this whole huntington become obsessed yeah you could go problem and i would really like to see like you know you can get to go for the attached your chester homemade or when the rifle yeah gopro on the rifle would be the way to go right yeah you see the bullet come out one if you can do that where do you go pick up the there is a ranch we're going to ranch and they saw a california put the pigs out there and you know our other wild weather weather wild boars yeah there are these crazy looking monster in the wild or yeah i've seen i've seen them well wild boars are one of the few animals you can hunt all year round because they have to keep the population under check and check if they don't keep the population and check the results are disastrous like perfect example they opened up a highway in texas the night open it up there was some insane number like forty accidents car accidents where people had pigs yeah because they're fucking everywhere texas has an insane amount of pigs insane amount and
they're really out of control to the point where they they eradicated through helicopters have helicopters they fly over it's just gonna mall down yeah it's crazy how do you oh yeah all the delicious are really good there tasty and there you know course and what they're eating if you get pigs that are near people you're going to get pigs it you know they might be eating some garbage they might get ahold of some but if you're having pigs that are living out in the wild there so have other omnivores you know they'll eat some meat delete grass is delete plants lee vegetables to eat a lot of things but there super lean and their fucking mean looking what is that this is god named caleb that i met in aust this is his dogs attacking a wild boar that got on his farm i believe it was ok i don't want to say this man i don't want to see this gross there's a one way they hunt them and they use dogs and they sick dogs out the dogs hold in place then they come along and cut the pig throat not
say they not this this ranch but they do hawaii a lot and they do that in texas a lot they use these dogs the dogs hold the pig down and they stab him it's really kind of fucking crazy that shooting in animals probably the most ethical way to mean period of ending animals life if you're going to eat meat even you're buying meat that's in a store you're dealing with fact that animal was a fucking slave that animal was just sitting around waiting for it death from the moment it was alive but you get an animal in the wild like you're dealing something that is completely off the grid and then you're stepping into its world for a bit and taking something out of it and eating that and that's going to be your food yeah with him in there that the pigs were attacking his property his dogs found it on his project the dogs won't like walking around and then that pig attack the dogs and then yeah they'll kill your dogs they'll kill your dog will they go after a person they'll kill people if you haven't been a pen
you know that's a really common thing with pigs by the way these wild pigs according to steve vanilla even wild boar it's essentially the same animal they can interbreed they breed back and forth to each other you know it's different strains but they're essentially the same animal but you have you keep domestic pigs and you fall in when you're feeding him good luck billy yeah they might eat you they might just right the fucking shit out of you and once they bite you and they find out they can eat you they're not they don't care about you they're going to keep eating you going to hold you down fucking eaten evidence now they'll eat everything they leave your god damn it delete your god damn teeth delete every the smash everything up there fucking monsters man and they taste delicious nothing like break on the s the they have a lot of the wild boars and the domestic hogs they like sort of interbreeding and they make when is giant fucking wild pigs have you ever never heard of hogzilla image of hogzilla you won't even believe this is a real animal
they're having these pigs that are like the size of cows like a normal peg you know they get pretty big demand thanks they get pretty huge i mean i i think they can get one thousand pounds easy yeah but these fucking things are ridiculous look at the size of that that's a perspective one there's one where it's hanging upside down that's not the hogzilla one either that's a different different large wild boar that's it yeah do that ok that guys standing right behind that fucking thing he's not too far away see 'cause his foot is parallel to the paw of the pig so argument that this is like a perspective shot i think fades away because that guys touching that thing that's a big big nose zero chance you come across some of them were you know know know know those are that's like a deep s thing that's a georgia thing they've they've had that in thing fucking freaky man georges where they've gotten the biggest ones so that's
that is a certain kind of breeding they breed them well the wild pigs and the domestic pigs are breeding and and uh sometimes if they get out they can get really big mean who knows what could be it could be that i'm just guessing but it could be that someone fucked around with genetics look at the size of that thing jesus this fucking christ dom irrera that is a huge and tell me it's fast twenty there run they run all they run fast and their muscular shitman their notoriously tough but the flash is really leading the way really good for you and the old guy the guy who got killed by a pig it's not the first try not to laugh i wouldn't i wouldn't think people would be laughing tom i don't the fuck is wrong with you just someone lost their life ok look at that thing gave it to a pig look at that stuff big tell me nothing that pig would take you out the pig is run after yeah joe i don't know if you know how
then below an employer well your tongue is very imitating that xanax yeah pigs are giant they get really big really aggressive and they have what is this is just mixing with the pig photos makes sense anyway yeah so pig hunting so that's what i'm doing this weekend where you working in tampa side splitters sorry about that plug no worries my doctor this ineffective i won't do it again people reasoning the ranch are you camping doing i stayed at a hotel oh you just talking to joe yeah yeah you stay at a ranch should be fascinating skype steve rinella he's going to be on the podcast frailey cool let's see is an expert on this stuff yeah he's a hunter he has a tv show called mediator have to check it out
exciting stuff touch it on discovery no meat eaters on like the sportsman's network i think to get somebody fucking networks we have a military network yeah people just shooting shit the hitler network let's history that's what they called it will hit history is all like shitty reality show moonshiners does it mean when the history channel they show hitler morn anything do they really well every time i turn it on here history seems to be more like reality shows now than anything they were all given up yeah it's almost like you have to have reality shows on we try to put nova on every night and fucking science documentaries people just go click next whatever they want to watch some rednecks yeah what's a duck dynasty yeah have you seen moonshiners is it good almost one of all time it's the most fake thomas one of all time because cops are look into the car like they're shooting this from the car the cops look going into the fucking car there's a television camera in the cop doesn't bring it up the cops like
so where are you off to what's going on he's looking into the car at the fucking camera and he's not going what's the camera what's going on what are you doing it and no one says well were here shooting a tv show that never comes up no one ever says we're shooting a tv show so these cops are lying everyone's lying there all fakers there just staring at whatever they do another take they probably do they were can selling moonshine that's illegal if it was moonshine they would all be arrested there would be nice show me what they're saying is that they have these backyard stills that they make moonshine so i think now what they're trying to do is say that it's all fiction and then saying has been eagle and nothing illegal there making it's only water and those stills and it's all just you know but why didn't even have moonshine when alcohol is legal because they to make their own they don't want to have to put a tax stamp on and they want to be able to make it super potent you should be will make moonshine just like you should be able to make beer you can make it absolutely ok thank you can get out
in certain certain dosages where in ireland mitch hedberg said to me you know goes his domme says i'm on silver all day god good for you met you i love mention he goes yeah 'cause i wanna so absent tonight and i want to see what it's like from zero to one hundred so the only reason you missed a is sober was to see how fucked up he got on you know like fern polish basically this is stuff furniture polish it's like alcohol absent like have you ever had it yeah you've had a couple times it's weird it's a two strong it's a weird feeling it's a it's like a cousin of drunk it's like drugs next door neighbor it's like you know you're all party in the same party but there's a fence between am now there's no hallucination it's just like being drunk just a weird drunk taste wears like black licorice ish yeah i'm not so sure i like it do you like it under like a real oh i had several yeah no kidding
yeah i had it a long time ago in canada that was the first time i ever did it i never see you drunk i am pretty smart about that a good thing to do now really rubbing that beautiful car you have well that i don't do definitely but getting drunk period in public didn't seem like a good idea dom irrera would you get drunk if you have something you wanna get drunk is that what you're saying the smoke pot i told you well let's do it what we should do is smoke pot in his safe thing we should get drunk on the podcast and you should smoke pot as well that will be our next podcast sounds good we plan to it right now you got two hours we don't even at one hundred and thirty and tom dom irrera it's not a man who likes to do things impulsively it likes to plan things
it looks the schedule talking about you last night about what a fucking animal you are like you just something so like we can't you shoot pool with joe for an hour it's gotta be three hours everything he does i said i feel bad for his wife she's gotta be tough i'm obsessive it's probably not healthy you gotta lotta energee man it's yeah i don't see where it hurts you got a great career with the fuck greatly well yeah i mean i think being obsessive though can definitely hurt if it gets out of control yeah it's just a matter of channeling like obsessive obsessive the more the the tendency to like follow things down to the ground is he some down to their dad but you've changed job like i told you like you know the thing about michael jordan where they go all he even beat his mother in ping pong it is to beat everybody everything i think well you know there comes it reason an asshole you know and i
but that you were ever there so could you never were but you were so mad at yourself always to shoot rules of i missed yeah you've lightened up considerably well i realized somewhere along the way that that is a very faulty way of thinking and that that's all it is it's like be set because you did something wrong doesn't make the think something wrong better and just like outwardly expressing it in fact is indulgent ann the really intelligent thing to do is to accept the fact that there's a shift in the way you feel 'cause you're upset that something wrong or whatever but you gotta internalize that and that's part of being a man and b a spoiled little boy or brash young cocky boy people like you can get mad throw things around when when they when they're upset
if they miss is shot i mean i've seen guys in pool tournaments misses shot and snap their stick on the ground well yeah i play with this guy highland jameson the old bananas and i don't know if you have work that club and he poughkeepsie yeah poughkeepsie after that one anyway back would be shooting pool pretty good player and he would bang the fucking sticks on the table mystic inigo harlan if you keep doing this i'm outta here it's just like fucking read and he did nothing against me and it's just such ridiculous behavior it's not a man's behaviors child's behavior i mean there were that that you would use that many years so yeah well i would just i would be i would know it was always a lack of concentration in this is that's the mess where you know you just didn't hit it right but there's also shots you miss where you know it was a fairly makeable shot but you took it for granted and like fucking idiot you know those are the angry ones it wasn't misses it was more of lapses of concentration that i was really upset at myself for but yeah that shit doesn't do any good
now is this energie yeah now i just internal atarah try very hard to just internalize but that's just a factor of getting older and smarter you hope doesn't happen everybody i know that's the saddest thing when you find dudes that you didn't talk to in a long time and they've regressed yeah they become more delusional or more complaining you know a lot of guys are complaining talk to me i'm talking about a long time we talked him and this is overwhelming complete i hear that all the time i got a friend this cruise ships you know and he doesn't like it he's got a family and he does other stuff too but he's always for going this is listen man you're making my select you see this thing to this car you see this it we will boy was all boy through jokes you know hard some people work for nothing thank can't get shit jobs i'm supposed to feel bad for you 'cause you're going to turkey that's a hard gig though i wouldn't want to do it with cruise ships hardly you
does definitely better than coal mining yeah lot of people would be super happy to do it eleven people go you do the hardest thing in the world no i don't yeah but the guy who discovered these were you just talking about the moon with them the mayor things is fractals fractals yeah what does that what kind of mine yeah super smart science do that no one wants to fuck that's what's up nigga more time with her hand once they start getting pussy them they're fucking science deteriorates drastically you know this so you have to have no chance in pussy to be sitting for put computer banging this out some girls out there that would just rob of all ambition whatever i think of no chance push they always think of but you had you know the one the new rules bill always thinking guy smith but what was the guys name who she married he was in his nine j howard marshall taylor marshall yeah noche your pussy unless you're a trillionaire
one thousand nine hundred and four actually fractals were invented i was way off that's fascinating that's the earliest modifications yeah who the fuck are those yeah we need those though i mean you think about like the things that we need to use on a daily basis like computers all things i have no idea how any of that works so we do not understand how it works but even if we did even if we knew exactly have the operating system works exactly now the memories stored which you could never make the thing you could never build you can never invented on your own and i can't make anything yeah but i mean i'm not even you i mean any of us it's fascinating how much of our society relies on things that almost no one understand i don't fucking understand plumbing i don't understand how you can get the same water pressure on the tenth floor as you have in a second floor it's crazy it's madness this must be a river on the roof
water pressure is weird you ever have like a root get into your pipes no never had that happen i had a root got into my pipes and grew a fucking tree all this shit when i tell you grew charging right now yes yes when i went to colorado and i was gone for awhile the when you flush the what the apparently like there there's these little tiny cracks in the pipe from the toilet down to the street that's it see that thing right there that was inside my toilet growing it looks like a muskrat right it's that is that you fuckin rt oh my god that's the root of a tree so it through and then because it was all that water in there it started growing like crazy and was searching it 'cause what routes do they they they grow down towards where the water isn't suck it out that's get moisture out of the ground so it cracked my pipe open and grew inside of it
that's real that's not made up that image me if you if you're listening to this it looks almost like an animal how do you find that was that is it on a flicker joe rogan route pipe just like that in atlanta just google joe rogan route pipe yeah i wouldn't do that 'cause it's filled with poop the is fed by poop poop and peep and water that then grew like a like a we'd like a veritable read dump yeah i don't understand it either i got a new thing recently that it's instant hot water you know with the tankless water systems so you water goes through this thing and it in recently turns hot it doesn't of a tank of water just sitting around getting hot would be good for my sitz baths what's amazing is it like say if you never run out of hot water that's one thing that's cool you know if we yeah i just got it so if someone is using the water an like if you have a friend that takes a long shower
you go in after that person you're fucked you know you're going to take a mediocre ass shower 'cause there's no hot water left but these things now they have it so the water can go through it and it's always hot people you coming over to your house to take beds that's that's my plan my friend that's how you get him naked so it's it in one place in the house or is it like on every single like faucet there's like no no no it's in one place it's one area where the water comes in and then it regulates it out from there oh it's ridiculous it's one of the weirdest things ever it's just like how do wait what happens huh i mean it's hot as fuck too it's not like it's kinda hot it's kinda hot no it's boiling hot all the time right out of the gate so it's weird i don't know how to fuck their regular plumbers put that in there is specialty regular plumbers yeah it's something they put in now it's normal thing and you know a lot people especially where we live or going full solar because you a full solar where you don't even have to be attached to the grid though
enough sunshine in southern california we can just have these vertical it's crazy had a guy come over last week my garbage disposal was down and he recognized me right then now we recognized me he also gave me coupons and thinking i guess he wrecked he doesn't think i'm doing too and then he said i gotta tell you it's a pleasure to meet you mister o'hare o'hare o'hara fucked yo hair and my name is written on it i rara he just didn't look well it's just not a good pronouncing things para irara yeah same shit you could be a little blah irish i had a call me mr irene talk about lazy i'll be up there and the second mister irene room service she made a mistake don't get upset it's not worth it i comedy gems do you ever come on what about you don't with me
do you ever i saw you at the icehouse yeah fuck billy crystal that's right we just said it fuck that talk about throwing that in your memory bank and splitting it out an hour later bobcat bob how is the nicest guy in the world crystal giving him the cold shoulder how dare you billy i know the only new period must have some little smug i gotta say that's unfortunate yeah he's had a beautiful career release fucking smug yeah yeah well you know it's fucking slotted pressure a lot of pressure on those guys a lot of times they crack fuck 'em they start buying in their own proescher i think that's the guys who don't are the guys who keep doing stand up because no matter what and how funny you are of how famous you are rather when you get on that stage you have to be funny they give couple minutes but you got to be funny joke been on stage since the friday before last the longest in probably twenty years because of being sick yeah
wow but isn't that true like that's how we do it like a lot of folks don't know it find a month off for two months or something like that it feels really weird when you come back it can't oh wise guy cracked wise cracking i think a meeting with a hacking cough doesn't work you know that's why i couldn't go on i mean i could have made it i've been on stage with fevers and torn muscles and shit but the the coffee but fucking did me in i only had to cancel one gig ever wow for the weekend it was i think maybe maybe when i was younger i did but that i could member like as a like a gig that are supposed to fly out so i think i think i'm supposed to the stress factory pretty sure though what it was like when he brand i got the fever because you had a flu was bad it was one of those ones where it was like on monday i cancelled i was like there is no way yeah yeah this is dead at least you gave him that yeah it was bad fucking flu that's going around right now is a mother fucker dude i've talked to some people that got it that like
define and then two days later in the hospital on ivy league yeah holy shit they were showing in houston that people were like i think they were up to like fifty people have died from the flu i'm sure it sold when babies but well so if you fuck up man that's the thing about like being sick or not not not having a healthy body healthy immune system when you're had not healthy all the time like he's pulling all nighters get a couple hours sleep before you get to work you working all day and drinking coffee and your immune system as far as getting chipped away at if that is why it enters into your life like you can die you can die if you if you're hungover and drawn out and fucked up and then boom when you get hit with the flu holy shit you can get jacked i had so many people like bum me out first aid like act like they care and they go you know as i said my think i'm there you go to get a friend of mine had that in less like three months so thanks you know it's good
to cheer me up tell me his friends pussy is it i'd say fuck in french friends sing me back in two days this magnum three months the fuck outta here kinda cold last three month well it's not cold anymore yeah it's an epidemic you'll asthma does where you have now do you have asthma i got somebody that's this thing is discus i gotta inhale it you know it's good for asthma pussy stank up with that too but the married woman my friend see i wish i could smoke right now but i just don't know what would happen i gotta freak out panic yeah yeah you go into a tailspin i have to be back fully out of the corner are you how to do that with xanax though how does that work if you taken xanax i don't know 'cause i never i mean xanax a tranquilizer you might might stop breathe so you know with xanax feels like xanax feels like what you would think normal people feel like
no it's not a high it's just i mean i never take it enough to get high but it's just like a real accent you know just do some indicus what's that indicates the down or the we'd like you know there's an update in town and you know there was a i'm sorry there was a article that said that's bullshit i thought that was really out of those noises pretty established don't really you know some article that said that i don't know whether they're saying that the people that are selling it are full of shit but they were saying that the two different highs are indistinguishable and i was like man i don't know about all that sounds like bullshit article well it seems like not getting high enough to really you have to do it and get up it's like a small yeah you can tell the difference between the final merlot's cabernet's like right off the bat they can just tell i can't tell i don't know what the the differences i i had no idea there was a part that was a downer well that's what most people think of us for pot they think of og kush they think of like
we did just makes it chill dog really just makes you just really not give a fuck just kick back and just google your eyelids get heavy and then spot for me at least that makes me like really think about shit and really get introspective and breakdown my life and life itself in the city and universes and shit like that that's that to me whatever it is whether it's the day cannabinoids are the different strain or whatever the fuck it is there's a different response i have to two different kinds of weed absolutely but i don't know i don't know i mean maybe maybe i'm wrong about it maybe i'm wrong but the way the mechanism is working i just know when i get good stuff well would fuck me up was i had no idea that it took awhile to hit you xanax know so when i first smoked this is why i had such a bad experience
we just kept smoking joint after joint like you know in one slash two an hour i smoked like i don't know three or four joints there's just like these guys are going holy shit look at him and i'm thinking did this with southern comfort once and i almost died from alcohol poisoning because i just like i just you know it's like you're getting the crowd behind where were you the pot yeah i was the pussy pennsylvania uh in apartment down there and philly and just a bunch of guys fucking around who spot wasn't i don't know it wasn't mine so somebody else brought the pie and then you just start smoking up a storm but never smoked and and i just kept smoking smoking this was like really like a lot of smoke i don't know that's why i think i got fucked up corset everything like the wreck i was why this is when their albums down i remember watching the record revolved and just getting lost in that you know what was the song that was playing it was tomorrow never knows it was as a beatles song and china
not your mind relax and float downstream you know that yeah it is not dying whatever and that was with internet is real psychedelic kind of song anyway i was like i don't fuck i thought my my head felt smaller and i was just everything was weird well that's why i had a experience that i want to try it again so did you get paranoid yeah very very paranoid and what like remember specifically what you thought about just uh in the whole world look different to me and see the only time i was ever i had gotten fucked up on cough medison in high school did you ever do that i good cough medicine when i was an adult i took night once in a second is one of the happiest days of my life really so this is like a drink a whole bottle of rum or see i mean i know that was and i think that's why up any kind of upper drugs have negative effects on me because of the that and then i did the pot
and so that's why i never did him and there was against drug well that seems like a very likely scenario if you smoke that much pod the first time he did it that is you're going to freak the fuck out that's that's no way away away with nobody told me they were going wow look at him and i was like oh yeah one hit yeah that's all you need just one see that's not even a big one not even a big one just a tiny one je to really feel what pot does you want a tiny amount of it that way you distinguish it from regular consciousness you around with it get a feel for it see the good bad about it and occasionally going to push it occasionally going to get too small you're gonna smoke two hits in three hits and you're going to feel weird as fuck to needing to know me better back this down so we backed this down take it under one again bring it down to one and just try one for awhile but when people start smoking a whole joint or to get your
that's like you've never ridden a motorcycle before and you get on one of those ninja you know just go ahead done it you know what you can't do it but those guys who do it everyday can do it yeah it's a similar thing in a way because it's the experi is being really really high is manageable say if your guy like everlast you know if you get high what time are you just naturally cool dude that can deal with shit but if you're a guy who's never gotten high before like that can't fucking beat rose terrible terrifying it was for surfing what were you thinking about when you see the world just didn't look the same uh just proportions of things look different you know like is it my eyes were different lenses they change you know for a while and uh you know i would just get it out thought in my head that like even in the song we keep playing in my head when it was over you know why
it was pretty heavy i mean i guess it was a close to a trip you know wow yeah that sounds like what i go through every night typical day i went through the end of the tank last night we went to what i went through that in the tank could you do the tank yeah yeah you're unbelievable so funny you got so many fucking very interesting and i watch sports center last night that's why but that's you were all different dom irrera i'm just trying to maintain and not go off the rails in the crazy town so what do i do it and line saltwater throw kettle bells around just trying to keep it together you gotta fight this week no this week's new ufc this is we get our said i'm going boar hunting the next ufc is not until the week after that chicago fox thanks again for the montreal tree did you enjoy it
more than joy tammy pescatelli i would've fucking i mean that guy like the excitement i could just imagine like like the gladiators empire like the statement in that room when that french canadian guy walked in george st pier yeah oh my god and then the fight itself and it was great yeah those live events are this something special like seeing seeing the ufc live this very few things that have as much electricity in the air so much potential drama and while the fights are going on there so exciting so you know you invited me to a couple of them and i was so amazed at how classy the crowd is it ain't professional wrestling crowd skate on his face you know twist this other i mean they're like for real nice people they look wild but they're not well i i always hoped that it would go well closer and closer towards the ethics of martial arts because i think that if you look
the best guys ever the best ufc fighters are martial artists from hoist gracie the original you know to look at like lyoto machida or anderson silva or george ps4 broke his leg anderson broke his leg at the last five guys are martial artists like the anderson bows for every match lyoto machida bows george bows like they're they're literally upholding the original codes of marshall it's conduct i mean they are martial artists and those the best guys not these brawler fuck you spit in your face kicked in the balls guys those guys are not the champions the champions adhere to this sort of philosophy in principle of excellence i think yeah you kind of have to have and the people that are attracted to that there's could be a bunch of knuckleheads in the audience unavoidable you get eighteen thousand people you're going to get a few dozen crazy people
for sure there's no way around to get that any game baseball but overall i think that what the fighters project that they project the level of respect a level of discipline and dignity that the audience they i think they take that in i think they appreciate it whereas when you're watching the wwe you know that it's scripted it's a wild crazy event and it's fun entertaining and this acrobatics and you know those guys like the rock is a serious athlete so brock lesnar he's a serious athlete brock lesnar was pretty successful in the ufc for a guy that didn't have any mma fights to speak of other than one before he entered into the biggest state on earth as a fighter i mean he's mother motherfucker you know so no disrespect to the wrestlers or anything like that but the reasons why the audience will act like that 'cause they could could feel it's not real it's all horseshit is there
we are trying to suck excitement out of the air don't you think there's certain people that believe it's real no matter what you tell one hundred percent i talked to a guy from abu dhabi who is telling me that his friend absolutely believes that it's really cannot argue with him that not not so frustrated you know what to say my doctor thinks all professional football is rigged really we go out of fucking they get that all these guys this is listening is going to tell me that you know brady couldn't throw a pass and i can i don't know but how do they go to the center how did they get you know it's like it becomes a it was just paranoia some people don't like the wool pulled over them you know pulled over their eyes so they they like to look for it and everything uh these
fuckers are all in together yeah right after ufc's all the time i'll get tweets like yeah you know it's a full could fixed fight there was a bullshit fight that fights fixed and you know where your fights can be fixed i mean certainly can fights can be fixed basketball games with reps or a guy who misses foul shots at the end you know but when you get to a whole fucking football it's twenty two guys plus wraps come on well the about basketball is you i mean they have absolutely proven that referees have been involved yeah they've they've pru and that they've shaved points proven that i have done so i would just got outta jail for that yeah the referee right yeah and i had a friend who who was a raft with this i thought it was so classes they would get first class tickets and and sell them back get a check cash a man and get coach dickinson and pocket the money hi that's kind of fucking lowlife that's catch sleazy yeah that's you know
it's not living your life either what do you do sit in first class fuck you know you didn't have the ticket before but i think you should let it do it i don't see a problem with it i feel like if you're the one who wants to sit in coach and you want it would rather have the money i feel like you should be able to do that i just think it's a lack of so it's a little sleazy but not you know what i take that back i don't even think it's a little sleazy it's like like something i like to take umbrage with you joe road their ui rara they some people don't mind coach would have little tiny guy and will get some windows eight and he just kind of crawl up i'm running coach do you do you do oh i see so that's for you it drives you crazy feet can't go back there anymore can't do it it's the only thing about i just don't give a fuck i always fly for i paid more from my tip get to australia that i made i did i did i work two weeks and made less money then give a fuck i want to fly first class dad solarius that's allowed yes that is a total
dom irrera move on my agent get such a kick out of that so funny well that's but again i hate to say this but that it really is why you're so funny still like you there's a you know we were just talking about it the other day me and tripoli we're talking about how a lot of comics that we liked back when we started you know they kind of sort of drift away from it you know like even the greats like look at steve martin he doesn't do stand up anymore stopped along time ago robin williams like will occasionally to stand up you know but you think about people that you really admired back then it's not that many of them that i like really active still but ones that are like a lot of times they change radically like their ass change they kind of drift away from whatever it was that made them good they just sort of get weird sense of complacency or something like that i don't know what happened also they run out
juicy known running back to me i consider myself the oldest young comedian i know i mean i really don't feel old i feel young and i feel and i'm lucky that i had you guys a lot younger than me i i'm i can absorb that energy you know what i mean and right now you included i mean it's just the the i love being around that because i find that not to put my jenna push it down a lot of them are fucking bitter and bitterness goes nowhere yeah exactly it's just like like the unnecessary anger yelling out and smacking your stick on the ground yet to internalize it figure out what is it that makes you better you run with your success will do something about it you i mean barring your physical health and unforeseen circumstances that can't be controlled most people have a little leeway room for improvement the bitterness is not fucking helping yet this fucking guy told me this guy deserves a sitcom i tell you this guy i middled for him in cincinnati he could not follow maine remember pat cooper being here he was
you know i like the guy but he's really angry he's telling me he's thinking i'm too stupid to realize what he's doing he's going fucking kids today these cock suck is they got five minutes they gotta did come i've been around forty years but you're a good kid i mean we throw like that like that supposed to keep peak my interest and i don't have a fucking sitcom ago well maybe that should tell you something maybe you're not right that guy was a interesting guy is he still around yeah i mean i can't hear anymore so it's kind of tough odd that sucks he said go on stern and ran oh yeah go fucking crazy and yellow people until suck oh my god like listen to him get wound up but this is an element of sadness in it you know yeah women of like burned a lot of bridges some those guys he got mad at sopranos getting what do you get mad sopranos for i don't know they didn't give a big enough parts or some shit they didn't get you know whatever it was it's like i mean i love that right of passage for italians that we will suppose
being the sopranos what the fuck they like they gotta cast of like twenty people there's a lot more italians you know why there's a lot of people in that show that also had not really done a lot of acting before like stevie van sant little steven from every spring yeah and and and these europe our friend who i mean a buddy but what but it was joe was they was they could have had a core of real actors and they had types right and some of the types like steve developed in the real good actors you know but i mean that's what the show was it the core of edie falco and canada fenian michael imperial imperial it yeah those guys and then they that's the way they cast it yeah but i think what the appeal
was one the appeals was that these people that were in these peripheral roles that really shined and benefited from a greatly art like our friend steve sarebbe steve was not like an experience actor he was a book in the riviera when we met him yeah he's a great guy i love that guy yeah but he went from doing that to being a really successful actor boom like that but a hard worker too he absolutely was done in these you know he's smart steve was very smart guys so but my point is that other people saw that and go look this fucking guy it was over he wasn't even fucking do it easily could've been main heroes it don't matter to me i could do such a much much better detailed job with that role you get so much in that role i was kind of like a little bit of half italian and i was half you left your fingerprints that sound like dice oh i'm morphing i'm a bunch of fucking characters over the top oh speaking
i saw a blue jasmine did you see blue jazz in the new woody allen for woody allen fascinates me man he's fucking fascinating these are reasons i got understand them really yeah when i was a little kid he's he makes a new movie like basically every year and he writes a mall himself in their fucking good blue jasmine was a good movie i he's one of the guys mean i think he's a creeper for sure and the whole thing with the daughter was just i don't want to judge i'm trying to be a nice guy but i don't think he looked at her as a daughter i don't know what happened whatever whatever i don't know right but you know what you gotta gotta admire before she's not even hot you can't you can't say he left his wife for a hot young chick she's fucking holier than his way oh i guess but she's young it's different anyway you destroy lmb
yeah was i saying so this movie so i saw this is how i got my woody allen resurgence i saw a midnight in paris did you see that one yeah it's fucking good good move so it's interesting the you know you got to see though some of the old love and death check it out because of the jokes whole area what i did i think i have seen it i think i saw that the french revolution and the russian french war i don't remember what it was about i sought along time ago i saw a sleeper i saw annie hall i've seen a lot of his older work orgasmatron
in in a in love and death the napoleon says the diane keaton goes how do you think of me as a man because i think that your best bet these can agree line line after line with another one your best bet is being a man it was the you're beautiful skins because yes the covers my entire body well midnight in paris was really good and what's interesting about is that owen wilson plays woody allen oh wow woody allen can't play woody allen yeah yeah he used to get this one wilson's acting like woody hours doing that light gray disease but he's not going new york e is not going all the way brooklyn but he's bae
basically that guy this sort of nebbishy like his wife is fucking around on him it's always in woody allen's movies someone always having an affair right under somebody's nose and this chaos and you find out well you were fucking this guy right in the other room i mean get over it it's not that big a deal like the way that people behave is almost like as if he wishes that that would be how people would behave at all sexual indiscretion it's almost like he's flavoring the world with the is dialogue off the hook what's it yeah because it's a very unnatural like the anger and reactions people have it's like everything is real except when it comes to like real emotions dealing with los or infidelity like then becomes like we'll get over it i was right there you had to know i didn't know you know ok sorry i was cheating looks like one of those things and the guys like i can't believe this and he leaves but it's so unrealistic it's like everybody is like whatever get over it but
blue jasmine is another one one the alec baldwin character i don't give a spoiler alert but the reason i brought it up is dice is really good in it he's really good he plays pretty much good but i heard was really short i don't think i like him just the reason why he didn't probably get any awards 'cause it was probably sure the movie was too short to know his role like he should have had a bigger part in it no no i think it was perfect i mean it was a complex sort of a role it was believable there was a lot of a lot of good acting in that god damn movie cate blanchett the one woman who is the lead is fucking sensational you know showing pin yes yeah he said to me one night at the improv and he's got a great memory for comedy he said he remember all bit and he starts telling me about it and i got it wanna talk about common you gotta tell me what it was like to work with woody allen he i'm glad you asked me that he gave me one note the whole film i said what is it that last seen you did nothing was right that was
that's the only fucking note he had only direct nothing nothing in that scene was right wow well he's a master filmmaker is just a weird guys and he's a genius master filmmaker his blue jasmine movies fucking really good i have to say he's the best writer ah and then larry david comedy want him in my in my opinion you know you mean like joe crying or search teams romani right right just comedy movie and although i larry i was sick has not made a grad to two film like what he did what he did he shouldn't his life is so good in curb your enthusiasm just don't fuck with it leave it right there let him do whatever the fuck he's doing let him make that exactly how he's making it don't touch it leave it alone i watch a seinfeld episode last night that with the man's ear hum for men right right bro and i i had a prostate exam
when i was going to pee next it was going to be blood right right it was really fucking like i was it was really like and horrible i was the light headed and shit and jen it was on the phone telling me about the about this episode before it happened and we were fucking crying laughing just did jerry stiller's tits minutes left for fucking what is the time confused what do you peen blood oh because i didn't i didn't want to laugh all i'm saying i did explain it i don't want to when we come back from the hospital in the bad mood i'm fucking lightheaded or more pale and shit and we start morgan and he starts telling me about this fucking anyway i just reminded me of it because i saw the episode last night and it's so fucking brilliant you know the way yeah he likes everybody loves raymond which was like a really standard like good quality sitcom they had an a plot basically maybe a b plus seinfeld at abcd is ridiculous like crap
or hits a golf ball and it goes into the whales the blowhole and you know they like do you mean like everything is connected and how you did it was faster and twenty two minutes and clean yeah no larry david's genius yeah but his best work is kirby enthusiasm in my opinion the sun feels really good kirby into the house and takes it to the one where he had the water bottle in this fancy i don't i don't want to tell the whole story hooker and that are plain came to tell you the stories that we know that came out of glamour spoil them that came out a larry not get enough credit for some info i really believe that because everybody would get credit george got credit for playing him and you know jason alexanders terrific actor but he was so much in the background he thought fucked as i'm doing a show and he had to pay or do you know he put up his own money for that jason alexanders are weird one because nothing is really click for him since doing that shit was so fucking good too it was so good on that show and now he's taken to wearing a hairpiece i know you know i saw the one last night where we wore her
peace on the show is a joke as a joke but now he's wearing one in real life that's looks like i don't know what once you're going to like carl reiner did where you just take it off sometime and where i think it's funny that you're not trying to fool anybody well he's not trying to fool anybody can because everybody knows that he was already bald and i think he just likes the way it looks better which good for him but why you worrying so much about what you look like it's a little weird i said just wear a hat or don't wear anything it's not like it effects his performance in some way like growing your hair made you smarter somehow like imagine if like there was like muscles like the bigger your muscles get the strong you get the long your hair gets smarter you get he get wanting to have more hair yeah and if you could wear a toupee that would make you smart imagine if people were that were that simple that you just had to fiber optic to pay and you put on it would mimic the effects of having a full head of hair as far as your intelligence goes or grow it even further when the what goes on with the go to these guys yeah yeah jason
i remember being on that set and he was upset 'cause he never wanted in me oh oh god he won grammy awards two dollars on a set of news radio once and everybody was complaining there was dark it was like everybody was bummed out because our ratings were down and it was you know it was like we can't get on thursday night but this show goes on right before friends or right after friends and blah blah blah blah blah and i remember thinking like we are on a sitcom oh yeah you lucky you are to be on a sitcom and it's a really funny one and we're not appreciating it as it's happening i can write this is going on we're wishing we were number one instead of whatever the fuck we were we weren't doing well like newsradio never did well it did do really well until it was syndicated they didn't know how to use you at all news radio did oh my god some gray parts and i think they i think they could have used more
that's very nice of this just 'cause you love me i think they use me the perfect amount and we consider the fact with so many characters because andy dick vicki lewis stephen root candy alexander phil hartman dave foley maura tierney meet another fucking shit so there's an eight person casts a lot of fucking people at twenty two minutes show and you're bouncing everything back and forth and you got two three monsters on the cast yet phil hartman who's a monster day folia a monster and andy dick was a monster so those are like go to guys for like carrying scenes in big moments and you know would come in with something wacky on occasion i would have some wacky thing that i would do i thought they were great about divvying it up the one who got the slight in my when is khandi alexander check that was on the show she's a bad actress man that girl is powerful strong actress and i just don't think they have a really totally got her you know i don't
she had enough roles where it was like but you know bunch of white dudes harvard go right right for this sexy black baseball show you did right before the hardball but piece of shit yeah it was cool you got it right away i got lucky that's for sure the two things that were the luckiest that i ever got was getting hard ball in from getting hard work getting news radio you know the fear factor thing was more of response to not wanting to be in the acting world anymore you know when i took fear factor for the money abe also be because i knew it wasn't i didn't i wouldn't have to deal with actors was going to have to deal with scripts in the creative aspect of bad comedy 'cause you go from a show like news radio which is a really good show try finding another really good show good luck i know i've been on them and i read from some they would just i was painful they were bad they just clumsy and clung kitty so i have from a show that was written for me
i couldn't put it down there was stuff and you know it was so happy when it went down in flames because it was so bad they hired this real actors gydan today and he couldn't make it work and it in today and why do i know that he was the father in clueless he was she father but clueless would you do know this account yeah def if paul simms was going to do another sitcom the guy who made news radio is wanted i almost did another one of his i'd love to work with you mean did a pilot of a show called overseas it was a pilot i play it like some guy that was in some other country for some strange reason i got stuck over there and so but he's just a brilliant guy it's just such an out of the box guy i know there's other out of the box guys out there you know i think the guy who what's the name dan harmon the ground makes community like everybody saying the community is just like one hundred times better than season now that he's back on his back and check grace is gone
chevy chase yeah those other thing um is a happy go lucky guy huh yeah it doesn't seem so what's the guys name the soup sorry great guy too by the way i feel like a dick not remember the name but i blame the weed joe mchale was on opie and anthony and he was talking about chevy chase that he just really didn't want to be there how do you get insulted at your own roast you got it well there rositsa roast you ever going to say things it's supposed to hurt your feelings exactly that's why you don't get a roast democrats round i like them i like them when i did him and i did him in the windows like the real old i was like the young kid and it was open barrel and all those guys in the 80s and i like them 'cause they're like the real originate yrs of the roast now how how much can you talk about how big cloris leachman scott is your name
things like how how often does that come out with your big part of roasts yeah and now for the mandatory how big is cloris leachman came up about fuckin twenty times when i went to see uh pamela anderson roasted i think it was or maybe was her a sagit i forget i always get those two mixed up and then they so relentlessly did the same fucking joke you could drive a car into pamela anderson's can't this is that you know it's like oh that's so not true i've seen that video tommy lee video yeah you could tiny little thing yeah big all cars you drive and i can't jerk onto to a video like that now no not look too big well now just a mess a couple that i don't want it that so so i don't want to see people that are you know like out of this world not real real people like our prostitute front i haven't won a prostitute in awhile how long couple days but what time is it no i
i took blood pressure medication about two years ago and it made me like brozyna maybe less italian more or do you think that you would ever be into doing something to radically change your health like if someone if you took on like someone who told you what to eat were you out every day put you through the paces and got your body into a better shape better condition and actually got fucked if i get in better shape it's almost impossible mean you're at the top like it'll feel like we're going to we can polish it up while you can fine tune it fine tune a little bit now where i am totale fucking pleased with you love having a gut because i got something to rest my hands on when i'm thinking you have my favorite you have my favorite line ever when it comes to being gay and being in the closet
you go i wish i was in the closet just so i could come out that's how little i give a fuck alot for this show i did that once they said i wish i was gay just so i could come out of the closet some exciting look at todd glass you got more press on that fucking hell and it made her career well tell you what went eyeglass came on the podcast that is the first time i had talked to him in person since he came out i guess you're supposed to say he seem so relieved and he was so relieved that he could come on the show we got barbequed who was so relieved that we could all do that together and giggly and silly and he wouldn't have to worry about feeling like he's being attacked or whether he was hiding something that's a big thing those guys man or for those girls or anybody who's hiding something like that you know no one should care man no one should care you should be able to tell people that you're into dressing like a girl should be able to tell the people that you like to fuck guys
she will tell you whatever the fuck it is it doesn't normally you're fucking girl in you or on you may have to be a fucking joy you would be it'll be like within me is yeah a little bit a little bit more confused me a little bit harder checked in me is what i like to think of it but if i was going to go to a good a good girl to get and job i go to you but ok i would think yeah softap hands and you get the lips too it is a lot of like born in by the way i draw the line even further down line with kind but if i think the blonde some of the condoms just like shaking their hand through a window you know come on what's going on there you know you know you put your hand on the glass here not really shaking hands yeah someone just going up and down on your dick when there's a condom on it like what is that so strange weird barrier between you and pleasure and we need that because people have diseases in their mouths and their dicks black were gross people have gross or fucking gross diseases
there was his hooker she's a porn i love the porn star fucking theory like everybody take and they never say they say just he's working actor don't say that he's a star he's not starting it anyway she came out she he came up to me at the comedy store gave me a hug shield let's see facebook name but my wife does my facebook and she wrote you came after me she says she would want to exchange sexual favors for comedy wisdom my wife says said she she goes who is my ex wife she goes who is this fucking that i just ripped it up and threw it out because she sound like a whore i go but that's the good thing right your ex wife doesn't know you very well now anyway she did get in touch with maine yet but you know she was so fucking annoying about comedy it turned me off really yeah because she wanted way more comedy that i wanted anything more well but when someone i start a lesbian video
when someone wants to learn how to do comedy there you know there's a few things you could tell him but there's very few real thing that they need to do is go onstage go on stage a lot and then chop it down yourself minimize the amount of words you use maximize the impact of those words figure those things out and find out what it is it's funny and unique about you listen to yourself is a few thing you could tell someone when they want to go over individual bits with you there we want you to write their act and that happens to a lot of boyfriends i mean that's a it's it's it's it's a joke that i've heard use on several different comedians that are female that wind up dating men that are also comedians and events are writing their acts i mean we know guys who've done it he did have all the fucking time and you know that's not as fun that's that's that's weird that's a weird but see
in this case is like tom segura and christina posit ski where i'm sure they go over bits with each other but they go over bits as peers you know land like tom's out re write her act she's not rewriting times actor bold colors very area yes but that's ideal you know that's why i love when something like that happens because people always like to use that that thing like that standby cliche that two comedians can never be husband and wife and be happy to people that you know in the same position the same sort of occupation they would just want to each other and christina get along great and they're both fucking great they're both really funny people there like you see him together the laughing together and they're always laughing with each other and like they enjoy each others company and they're both really good it's so rare when you see something like that so awesome i think it's the aberration i don't think it's normal but it's possible it seizable it's totally possible that's what i like i like that it's
that ruin my marriage yeah the competition yeah because like i was getting hired for saturday night live like one thousand nine hundred and eighty and i got like three episodes with it it's a long story it's not even worth it sound like bryan callen right now there were a big deal just like the greatest comedian of all time no i didn't leave it later just let the story was i met the story was actually too long but anyway i'm not on the fucking show and i'd come home she goes mention me today i should mention you i don't even have a fucking voice don't even agent and so that was that really kind of ruined a lot of things yeah that's rough did you mention me i had a friend who uh got a part in his girlfriend started crying me clean inside when something that happened for me oh no it was it was so it was so uncomfortable to be around yeah that's it was she was doing it like in front of me and i was like okay she's crying in front of you yeah yeah he he he goes guess what i got the part and she starts crying like when is something gonna happen to me i think
some people this is cut out for the pressure of of like trying to audition and go after things like one of these are people point out crazy actresses are in actors on but i think one of the reasons why there so crazy is not just that they came here crazy but that the process this itself is so terrifying and mind numbing and obsessive 'cause it's so difficult to get cast in something so diff when you competing against thousands of other people on a daily basis for a limited amount of rolls and every now you barely getting by then you finally do get something i think and all those years and years and years of rejection and i think you can really fuck with peoples heads by it's really bad especially when there are already a little bit insecure there already a little bit nutty maybe possibly a little bit pressed maybe a little bit chemical you know i i just never not like anybody else success diminished main like i don't think because eddie
you got forty eight hours heating get it i was going to get it right now i just never thought like that you know you never did you never had and you've never had like this this weird resentment that a lot of people have towards p all that they have no relation to you know looking book in this guy you know damn women's team sexy some motherfucker damon wayans ain't got shit i didn't you know would you care but even when it is he in any way affecting your half i mean look at your career you you have the you have such a mean and sticking such a unique is redundant but i mean you'd like i could ever that and they'll stick disputed the them fights like you do you you're an expert on shit there's no competition your stand up in minors so different to hope with the alien results are both funny blue we're both very lucky you know we're both very lucky that we figured out our path in life you know i just i'm i'm in a weird spot where i'm extreme
lucky because i like to do a lot of things yeah and i get lucky that there's a lot a job for those things like if the you well see didn't exist i would watch the exact mean if the job rather me being a commentator didn't exist if they just we just watched fights live and no one ever talked about it i would still be doing the same thing i'd be doing the exact same almost i mean i would certainly wouldn't be breaking it down for a broadcast but i'll be watching every single one of them i'd watch everything i'd watch him live if i could i did before i even work there i just got super lucky you can hear how happy you are doing that you can hear it in your miss you love it yeah i do enjoy it's fun but i'm just i'm lucky there's a lot of cool shit to do in the world martial arts is one of many cool things me i could probably learn new things forever and ever and always be excited like so boarding seems like it be fun i just started learning how to ski skiing is fun it's excite i mean i bet it would be really fun to learn how to play an instrument you know if i had more time i probably pursue that i started doing archery recently i got these
yes i set him up in my backyard i bought a a bowtech experience sixty pounds compound bow oh dude it shoots things like a laser beam it's amazing it come on over these hungover let's have a boat party please hide those from the kids they can't touch them they could never pull it back in the first place for the arrows are locked up and the bow is so incredibly difficult to pull back he pounds like a grown man like yourself not like me of course i could just pull that bitch back that for real the really strong guys actually used a seventy pound bull bow guide yesterday was probably twenty pounds lighter than me he actually is a seventy pound ball sees usable that's ten stronger than mine but i'm just learning how to do it now i'm not really concerned with it being like the fastest boat in the world i just enjoy hitting targets i have these rubber squares like set up at different parts of my yard and i get up on this little not form in my yard i get the dogs out of the yard and shoot arrows sounds fine man it's really exciting it's like when you hit it
target that you want to hit whatever reason you know your body goes ooh yeah exciting more exciting than shooting a basketball into a net like basketball that's always been exciting like playing horse like three points wo but but and fifty yard bullseye with an arrow there's something like it close to your dna some robin hood shit it's leftover if there's some water bones in the backyard that sounds fun but watermelons are food i don't want to waste food i feel guilty can be wasted food but i'll fuck up a squirrel that got catch slip in this coral that i can in my backyard what do you think about that that rhino that that's in the news fucked up fucked up fucked up crazy ridiculous doesn't make any sense makes me sick i don't like the idea if you don't know the story there's a black rhino the audit and they auctioned off right to hunt this black rhino and the winning bidder paid three hundred and fifty thousand dollars to kill this
endangered animal that's fucked up and because of that a million dollars is going to go to the preservation of the black rhino i think that's ridiculous i think that guys an asshole i don't care if that money goes to the preservation what this guy should do if you really concerned this guy this hunter is go huh so the camera goddamnit go get a really good close up photograph of this thing and know that you could have killed it no you could have killed it don't have to kill again and then while you're there go shoot some shit that you can kill your in africa go shoot some wild buck go shoot some hogs go shoot some things that the locals with eat you know and it actually benefits the people there if you go to africa i saw matthews who's former ufc champion one of the greatest mixed martial arts fighters ever is also a big money went to africa with his son and he took these photos of them shooting these animals and people just were all up his ass they were just
shitting all over him and telling you know he's an asshole and he's not even eating that food these are trophy hunters shot so many animals what they don't realize is when you go there and you do something like that they take the money that you use to pay for your trip and that he goes to preserve these animals then and the meat from hunting that animal goes to feed these local villagers like they get very happy like their excite they get all day lean they don't have guns and so they get all this lean protein free from these hunters and they get it everyday 'cause every day they bring in new hunters and every day there harvesting new animals like people don't like it because they feel like it should be a direct relationship you should dear than you eat the deer or give some of the meat out to your friends or something like that which i kind of agree with i don't want the guy that's like going to kill animals for a bunch of different people but if you did that's actually a very selfless thing to do i mean he's enjoying the hunting aspect of it but he's also
donating all these all this meat to to poor people but nobody see that way everybody is black or white thing when it comes to animals either you love animals and respect them and you don't shoot them or you hate animals in your fucking evil person even if you both have the same diet mean the idea that someone would want to kill that thing we know there's only like a few thousand of them left that's fucking crazy you know the i hope so many steps in an i hope mean really got some the president's talk about the president should have a fucking joint conference where he talks seaworld and killing black rhinos and just say but what would we do if someone came here from lee they sought off the horn oh my god that's fucked bad i know why right yeah is chinese dudes think that it makes your dick hard on your pills they haven't figured out by agri i guess no way rhino horn is as good as viagra by the way you know what rhino horn is it's her you're eating her that horn is her it's
likely knotted hair that that grows into a point yeah it's not like a antler like this deer antler here this am or falls off every year and you find them on the ground there called sheds and they grow every year and then you know they butt heads with those things on their usage bar well that's not case of the rhino whether i know it's actually her it's like same thing that fingernails it may not like carrot and kind of crazy shit man but the idea that anybody would pay to do that like don't do it man don't fucking kill rhinos these aren't like it's been an argument against killing elephants butt in there's certain areas of africa where they have an overpopulation issue with elephants and they've taken to assassinating elephants we've taken a hunting them it's really freaky 'cause they're bringing in hunters and there was a tv show on the other night where this guy went to africa and just look up on an elephant shot in the fucking head and it doesn't seem right it seems fucked up do you ever play with every balls
no no never played hardball so they gave the food to the villagers and they were saying as the years food for these people so i guess but there's something about elephants it freaks me out it freaks me out to kill elephants guys like whales yeah to me elephants are smart as shit they recognize each other when they haven't seen each other in twenty years did you know that really like that's the whole memory thing then yes live really good minds their minds are there much more complex than we ever thought they can in fact they can create art you can teach an elf to use a paint brush and they can draw themselves really you never seen that oh my god why do you see this i'm going to show you something you're not going to believe it's real it's an elephant painting himself and when you see it and how good it is it's like what my five year old would it's like a five year old human i don't know if represents like the same the same intelligence is like a small child but god damn it seems like there's something really serious going on behind the scenes there they are able
to draw themselves dom irrera there show tunes pull pull ahead because there's a long ass video but look at this he's using his and you would think ok this is bullshit this is fake know he really is he's using his own trunk and he's trying to draw what he sees look at drawing tasks dahmer air he's drawing the legs it's perfect like how he got it perfect kredible incredible that's an intelligent animal and in my opinion hunting that animal should be i look how good that is god damn it's insane that should be the last resort is for real yes it's for real it should be the last resort when it comes to preserving these animals that's ridiculous what they should do is fig about a way to either move give them to areas where their populations have drastically decreased or find some way to give them some food that makes them less likely to get pregnant mean who knows what's true
jeez they come up with but shooting damn seems really sad to maine that's amazing that's super smart and smarter than a wolf ok that's unbelievable yeah i mean that's the argument against killing wolves is that they're smart and they're very much like dogs and you know but that's they smarter than a fucking wolf got smarter than a monkey man that's smart as shit how small these god damn things yeah watch you do it this is not bullshit look him do see now you can see is the actual full elephant look at this this is utterly incredible utterly incredible yeah i don't know man in the queue in because the relationship with the relationship between you and i know the really but we are between other animals is a very strange one it very strange how we
because we have some annals of the wood that we use for food and some animals that we decide to use as a resource and you know it's it's all the very cruel i don't understand the rationalization sometime between animals you picked to kill to eat in the sense that people are pescatarians whip makes them think fish we're happy to be on a hook and well the idea is that fish don't take care of their young top or dolphins refresh fish don't take care of their young so like fuck these fish look how good that is dumber and truth isn't flowers in his trunk it's insane it's insane insane how talented this elephant is a drawing i mean that's better than most could probably draw now i think if you kill that that that's murder look at this look at this thing painting the sky man are you fucking shitting me painting a word jeez christ this is saying since they just said i don't know in youtube it's under i you guys want to see it's under elephants painting lv
sdsu done that's the remember name of him he's writing his name he knows that what is name i mean this is insanity you kill that ennis murder that's like that's like a big giant person or something that just doesn't that doesn't make any sense to me whatever that is it doesn't make any sense to me mind blowing mind blowing unbelievably fast now but to those villagers one years food we just eat i can't fucking believe that it's hard to believe yeah i think if i wasn't out of here and i hear you guys laughing no credit yet intelligent animals intelligent animals are in my opinion we should treat them very differently than we treat everything else well i never believe that animals couldn't think i owe believe they always said dogs don't think it's just instinct i don't buy that now animals fucking thank man course i think i don't think as well as we do so we like to say they don't think they're just there damn it i mean there are bodies are about survival and breeding survive
inbreeding and those are the only things they don't create culture and we become ultra compl yes because we create culture and we because we have the ability manipulate our environment so that's how we categorize dolphins in this weird gray area that allows us to enslave them because they can't create culture and because they can't manipulate their environment they don't have fingers we don't see any evidence of their intelligence but meanwhile there's tons of scientific evidence of the fact they can communicate with each other that they have a language they have dialects that they have family communities that they they recognize each other at long distances that they pull together i mean it's that's an intelligent thing you're in slaving that's all that is there's no if ands or buts about it it's a bad argument whether it's an orca you know because your fucking even smarter than dolphins there's they're super intelligent animals it's madness it's matt this is total madness and when you see an elephant that can paint a fucking picture better than most of us in this room what is the
is that that elephant paints better than humans most phenomenal thing i've ever seen an animal do it's credible incredible have you chip spell their name champs can spell their name for candy they teach how to solve complex puzzles and they give him candy and then they can remember the order of things they can count things from one to seventy one million two hundred and thirty four thousand five hundred and sixty seven and they images will go blank and they'll remember which one was one which was two and will reveal like each development make it flip over in order something that i would struggle with sure you lock it up james county to put them in a zoo is stupid you know they should have a minimum area where they live in the wild and observium that's it all this other stupid shit were even if they make enough wild that it seems wild to them yeah maybe i mean if you have a really large place but like that lady in connecticut that was living with one and the one they want bite her friends face oh yeah that is criminal negligence i mean that's
different building bombs in your yard and your friend comes over you blow your friends face off so fucking strong just not just wrong but i wanna fuck and guess what she gave the champ xanax real yeah she had the champ xanax and wine bitch was crazy we have this two hundred murderous monster living in her house is you looked up super monster he was in it was in the diaper age writes wear diaper yeah i don't think it is in oh i thought it was in the cage when he reached out for her know know know know know know he lived in that he wanted around you do whatever you want it to but the woman was babysitting them no what happened the woman's friend came over and when the war his friend came over there champ did not like the woman's friend the woman's friend kept him from her maybe maybe he thought of her as his girlfriend so he just attacked and just rip tore apart wish look at the muscles on this
are you kidding me man madeline it that looks like husam are pajares but even more muscular he's definitely on it i could see him using kettlebells and battle ropes zombie chips give zero fucks that's one of the scariest animals in the world if it's trying to get you because if they got ahold of you like you might be able to even fight off a bear to the point where the bear decide you're too crazy fuck it i'll leave him alone if the bear wasn't hungry over the nutty bear but champ is not going to let you win you know there having a contest with you and they're going to your fingers off there beat you senseless they're going to pull your genitals off they'll pull your pants off and bite your asshole they know how to hurt you are smart yeah thing would be one of the most terrifying animals have to face in an encounter yeah he probably take my chances with like something like a shark before a chimpanzee people have lived i mean people live in chimpanzee fights too but they get ripped apart sometimes people that they get rescued it's usually in preserves that all this stuff happened
by the way in the wire it's very rare that a chimpanzee attacks a person but did you see the picture that i had on twitter the other day of a jaguar that got killed with his bare hands this is we make men like this anymore don moreira coldblack my shoulder motherfucker killed jaguar with his hands bare hands it says it's on my twitter age it's just like yesterday yeah look at this mother fucker carl akeley i salute you you fucking savage of a man you real man you make me feel weak is a bitch look at that god damn savage he killed a le good with his hands that's how you know that's how you so you can hold up under pressure when you're doing it with a cat that's a big cat too not a big leopard with i think that weighs one hundred and twenty hundred yeah no not that heavy does it say how you actually like seventy pounds six thousand and seventy pounds correct
you see how look at look at it compared to his body no it doesn't say how he did it at least i didn't read it look at it in relationship to his body it's perspective thing if you brought the head all the way down to the ground the head is suspended where is new years it's hanging by its back feet if you brought the head the the ground it really wouldn't even be as as long as is most of his upper why was he even engage with him most of his lower body rather he come after yeah attacked him jump him try to eat him people have been selling ever since i been pulling up pictures from trail cameras people have been so only trail camera photos of mountain lines that catching their yard or mountain lines catch near their house a guy sent me one today from florida of these two fucking muscular florida panthers you know i've never seen panther never seen my online no i've seen my own lines but i've never seen a payout the same animal it's a small
more though isn't it maybe maybe doesn't get enough food or maybe it was in the keys a couple weeks ago we were talking about that 'cause they have the signs up it'd be aware of them you know well like most fucked up things in florida the population is growing the population of fucked up people in florida is growing the population of fucked up cats is growing the population alligators is growing population of bath salts abuse this is growing far is fucking crazy and uh there is going to be this weekend lazy giant candy reel safeway now that's a segway i want to put that in my driveway just scared go to people hey brian can we set up a gopro on the werewolf please now let's figure that out that's your next project is fucking terrible gopro from the werewolf i've got that dropped into my walk in here bothers me do you see a picture of eddie bravo eddie bravo radio use the podcast studio the other night powerful jamie stepped in and save the day eddie bravo's computer crashed and eddie called me up like last minute he's like dude i'm fucked like the podcast is in one slash two an hour
or you know and my computers crashed and so he came over and use this place but when he did it took all his clothes off and took a photo of him fucking the werewolf from you i will pull that shit up is eddie bravo will commit to things in a way that very few people can i love this fucking dude we so crazy this is a total eddie bravo picture that he would send you like this a pitta mize is why i love this do it is one of the reasons why he got a job as a writer on the man show and he bravos crazy look it look how is committing to it he screaming at the top of his lungs all of his clothes are often he's banging the werewolf from behind it would have been a little bit better if he had like a little bit more of an angle so we could actually see his ass cheeks so we know he's really really naked he so crazy that look at him so silly love that dude powerful eddie bravo
so yeah we're going to let other people do it too so you know any all of our friends who do podcasts i know tommy wanted to use it at one point i'm in duncan's going to use it like whenever they need to do shit on with cameras and what have you it makes this place more the merrier more uh i feel like the more good conversations we have in this place i feel like it looks into the walls it's good energia i love this fucking place when i come here i feel like i'm at home like this is our weird little it's very cool portal to the rest of the world i mean i like to laugh factory there were you know but just for the comfort of being on the stage and comfortable well that's it also staged performed at for like two and a half decades the right it's a great place this is late eighties yeah jesus christ that's even more right what is at four thousand six hundred and forty yeah jesus christ yeah forty two thousand and fourteen twenty six rather yeah let's say you're from forty six is what i meant i grab
waited in eighty five i was twenty one so probably at the lift i was eighty nine and ninety doing half talking in half a adding my age in there so what if i was in in eighty six i was not twenty one it was two thousand one hundred and eighty eight full frontal comedy will i mean into a when you talk to me sorry in full frontal comedy ninety three i think did we the one in a montreal no no that was well that was dangerous that was also showtime right yeah i think so i think must be ninety four then that's what i'm wearing i became pool playing partners oh we met in amsterdam billiards we first found out they were both each play pool it's total luck by chance i was in i'm doing a gig down was doing again we want up knocking some balls balls around together i said you got a good stroke there mister irara you've that i'm not ashamed play pretty good fella for
the comedian the all comedians pool league is you are fear me his name is aurora adam farrar please very good and i'm far please very good simmons greg fitzsimmons plays very good there you go that's good and what i was trying to think of his craig anthony cragg any from the movies anthony robinson uh the guy from from breakfast club someones craig anthony why do i know that name from he's creating a fighter craig robinson from this is the end that you see did you see him in this is the end is the latest movies on the officer james franco yeah yeah good guy he's a poet craig anthony you're thinking of that's where this yeah craig robinson sorry crags hilarious he's and he's a really good pool player too apparently vinnie favorito can play too yeah allegedly
i've never seen him but i've heard the place really good tried to hustle me two slick boy i gotta called hustle dahmer aaron happen you don't have gambling issue do i love the game but i don't gamble much money i love gambling on football yeah it's fun in the juice of it is desiderata riot scanning a little spark to the game and i'm talking like fifty bucks and that i think that should be legal man oh it's so stupid bums me out that that's not i feel like you should be able to bet at any corner you know should be some sort of a way that you could you know like fucking regulate how it gets taxed or you know where we can all meet and gamble on things we should be able to bet against each other we should be able to put our money jointly into something and it get deposit into either one of our accounts if we win and the government takes little piece off the top to make sure it gets taxed and that's they let people gamble are there any police station and they have football pools yeah why not what's wrong with that
nothing nothing they shouldn't get in trouble for that either it's fucking ridiculous i'm telling brian dunning that i'm doing a podcast was here right now yeah anyway that said dom irrera let's say that we had to wrap this bitch up we have oh man it's always fun and my brother we been friends a long fucking time pal i know i love that it's a great history yeah it's been a lot of fun we had some good times i could be in it i know you do but that's because you're on xanax and i'm i wouldn't even fight back as i'm on pot i love you buddy love yo thanks for me if you around next wednesday we're doing a nice house show in lakesville knox ville tennessee boom anything you ever want me to eat brother you know it just i presenting my way my friends love you the comedy i love you the people that get ahold
on twitter there are huge fans of dahmer and one of the things they love most about the podcast is being introduced all these great comedians you know with joey or aria you or so it helps everybody so more than having to do with my brother all right dom irrera on twitter the two r's i double r e r this gamai rare with one are you fuck you fucking a fraud how they must be a guys mr irene if there isn't a fake dumber are there to put together thanks to square space go to squarespace dot com enter in the code joe and the number one that's june the number one sort of emotional from moaning and if you want to enter into the podcast sponsorship slash square face contest we will pick four winners that have designed the most beautiful website and square space will give these winners a free year of square space end will send these winners a swag bag with items like an apple
board at shirt most getting more you know what fuck it i'm going to throw in a higher primate t shirt how about that how about that a free higher primates teachers a lot of those in texas man i'm just doing it because i'm nice okay i just made it up on the spot tweet those ideas by this january the seventeenth to hash tag j r e square space and the higher primary t shirt you'll be able to choose whichever one you want i just made it up right there i like that that's how i roll dom irrera when i'm with you i get inspired and have a senior role i run with things teen thank you also detaining for sponsoring our podcast hugely happy with this as a sponsor and nothing but the results rogan ting dot com go there save twenty five dollars off your first team device when you sign up you fucking freaks or also brought you by on it that's onn it used
code name rogan and save ten percent off any and all supplements much love you dirty fucks and we will see you in about fifteen minutes with brian dunning big kiss
Transcript generated on 2019-10-04.