« The Joe Rogan Experience

#507 - Bert Kreischer

2014-05-27 | 🔗
Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comedian, actor and reality television host. Check out his new book "Life of the Party" on Amazon now!
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
library tanned i was quick g louise is this the soul of the germany spain is roger s in fact this observe the brought to you by teaching thing is a mobiles cell phone company since immobile since a car phony there don't say that they will know you're over forty sitting as a cell phone company i guess he caught a cell phone company that does things differently and what they do is they did they use a sprint backbone and they do everything their way no contracts no early terminations phase sell you the phone instead of this bullshit what you she by phone from a regular provider now regular provider by one of the big would you do and as you know really bind the fund for the most part what you do is you hang for some of the phone up front like the formal across to honour box with a you know with a contract the fund is really like six hundred bucks but they choose
a deal and getting in debt with them and then when you want to leave we can't leave unless you give us this early termination faith they fuck you they d make you pay goddammit they take your money pressure is able to do what the cell phones yes do not understand this i thought it i've been sorted itself old name for so long you get him away from my wife does it all that's left you like your available for an upgrading of new funds is passed off to her she's like a great lab partner that's great you'd offer homeworkers tell she helps me on the tests but i'll abruptly the cool guy and a table saw the other lab partners like our table was before dont you earn the money that the that's what i that's the part i do not make us friends people like my life will meet the b obama the closure on the franchise player you go ninety percent of people save money motivating the waiting handles it you don't pay
like a certain set amount per month either and i think in the future this could be with all cell phone companies are gonna be forced to do never back in the day phone companies they used to watch these to charge you of your roaming and you could roll by just driving you fuckin friends house do rather than lutes in hamburg if you went to my house you're fucking roaming crazy and you see the thing tat your phone are shit i'm wrong taxed and it wasn't far and you know it also used to be that long distance it cost you a fuck load of money if you call someone in new york it will cost you a fuck little money that stuff is gone now gone long distance on your phone is gone and your cell gonzalo gone and the reason why it's gone is because it's a good reasons because of competition and competition is also causing a company like tinged show up and waiting as is they sell you the very best android phones available there
the samson gouty note three they have the hd see one m eight which is the newest hd see one that they they just got they get the samsung galaxy s five the algae flax the cold dumbass android phone they sound too at a very reasonable rate you own it and you can cancel at any moment ninety eight percent of people would save money with ten and if you go to rogan dotting done calm you will save twenty five bucks off of any of your first delicious android found sets rogan darting die calm were also brought by on it that's oh anne and i t i haven't taken my honour today i might sound stupider than normal from an awful branch i took our brain this morning sweetly choose what on earth is a human optimization website what we do
we sell you everything that we have found to be beneficial whether it's for strengthened conditioning whether it's for a cognitive enhancing performance whether its four athletic performance shrimp tech support of your person that works out i would guarantee you this right through to export you will have more energy when you exercise and it won't be some bullshit caffeine ie like speedy type feeling it's all based on the quarter cept mushrooms it's really fascinating stuffed courtships census thousands of years of use by people not really smarter than you but they new more shit about mushroom the five http in the new mood actually i give you yet that's a compulsive about stuff it will dialed aisha back a hundred percent really now yes i died why didn't like little spiral sometimes suffer you does her me one hundred percent you take new mood and i'm not even fucking around i think it i think i can market difference when you get it
about something you can't let it go that's weird i think that europe sets of things like a mental like a chemical thing oh yeah oh completely whom i think what i do is i still on my dopamine at night amazon you and then during the day my bodies going my jones and for it like an so what it does to get rid of it just makes me think about one thought over and over again like we're having a bad thought dear retried design then take new mood yeah yeah where'd you get out of men but i'll tell you a story this out about when i bought a general warts jesus let's get it did time i dealt with done right now so we can get into that go to rogan gotta die com o n n i t darkroom user code word rogan save ten percent of any and all supplements all of the sudden you have a one hundred percent money back guarantee the first thirty pills you have ninety days try you don't you only have to return to the product you don't have to turn the bottle enough just say this stuff sucks you get your money back because we're
tell the best shit that we possibly can find were no internal review off and if you don't like it you're some kind of fuckin word i will do business with the anyway son to the music burke register here make should happen let's get real jeffrey you with it the first bearded and the job organ experience it's just me and burn jamie even nor told motherfucker brian be here on time i call him at eleven o clock waking him up am i gonna do i'm doing marking the on time gotta be early tomorrow no problem no problem fuck you know it's like i'm we only know what it's like to have him as a friend and that's fucking fascinating fascinating
magic relying on him anyway we hear what where get used to it so funny that you guys like are still as close as you arc and considering that you guys met the online unlike him do and videos because every ones like that of europe i move that ought to be read then only be read in has been lying out i can't imagine how like it's like the you guys that than that you know that you brian worked that he wasn't a lunatic in egypt and you got what is definitely a lunatic bodies is the talented and he's funny he's using his own weird ways you now he's a corky little guy is an odd fella to an interesting mix isn't it did being in getting the trickled down effect of your friends into my life has been fascinating like amber lion my party only had my part gas goes like i know you guys have
the conversation that duncan talk to her so what are your shoe podcast comes from my house she fucking amazing yeah sure i got really insanely smart yeah is amongst animals tell you stand up similar but i just but the other night unlike hung out we know each other through stand up he caught he calls it's like i'm coming in on a pragmatic proposals and stand opening like that shaky morning i'm gonna be early well i could go on illegal running a beer for stand up and you can hang out i'm sick was dug stand no fuck your way you go get beer away for stand up and made having to meet on the front porch here's the thing no one gets about stanhope he is a very real person he's not like they think he's this guy on stage like abortion and aids and raven but he's a genuinely a real person so we go back we drink which will podcast for
fuckin four hours the time was as we during the afternoon face is the morning no three in the afternoon we start and then my wife and this is what blooming away is my wife goes you know just a word i'm serving the girls dinner doug we'd like to stay for now we all everyone knows the answer you expecting to hear is now i'm not gonna hang out your family the douglas such a real fucking person is like i'd like that so we set out my daughters guiding financial i that's a change so maybe it's me because i but so many people would be like none and like that intimacy but to share a meal with a family the intimate not everyone has i don't know maybe it's i've known dog for so long you know don't friday to what people know of dog is different them what you know why think it's one of those things were whenever someone's a comedian it's like this rabble right housing drinking yo abortion proposed
unlike the dog is it is assumed that its act and then he's a slight this like kennison guy all day long but when done facts about something on stage because these are like actual opinions it is formulated this is one of the things it's a real problem with that kind of edgy comedy one of the reasons why edgy comedy alive time sucks the this taste fullness a lot of it would it comes from a lot of these fuckin geyser faking it with their due they're trying to be edgy they're trying to find the edgy point of view in committee you got two like either and open mike niner showcase night in his car that goes seen a bunch of like really mean shit that's not funny but he thinks it's gonna be funny if he just edgy you know if you just said some inflammatory or rude or meaner you know that i was there comic i think to an extent i gotta know what my what was
yeah i think a lot of us were i definitely was the beginning you you become because you just try it i would describe the two stages the comedy the first stage just trying to figure out what works like a terrified you d want to bomb you just try just as follows i give tools like why do i caught this would raise a yes saw works can i use a how're you can cut with a hammer ok don't try to hammer again and then there's a while we like state funding from amber really lammers yet and that people will give you a device do i brought up a hammer and for longer than the audience killed me no more wars that will make good tell go dude i like the way you that hamper and you're even opened up their hammer back with a hammer than a reworked hammer tell likes to have it so true if you throw that it becomes a real problem with comics by the way chat out to the young comedians out there and listening do not try to make the back of the room laugh
tat becomes a real issue lives ruined guys careers or comics will say obscure shit just to me the comedian friends you only making someone laugh who knows you're doing like anti comedy guys have like their work how did funny guys that thought that like telling an actual funny joke was beneath them and what they want do is only make the comics laugh because those are the appears and death fact themselves man date there's a lot of guys they fuck themselves doing that the differences you hear someone who does make the back of the room laugh with his obscured look you didn't write it like you told them example i remember the line was of sitting back with patrice and by the way i apologize if my memory of this of these events is an accurate but about i'm telling you what i remember i was with it patrice and i condemn commie seller sooner species i weren't like good friends at all but lisa lamp in early walked through and he
a joke about this before she was who she is today i joke about her and she laughed and then he didn't and then he said the joke was hey trimming says i would look at her she's smiling like the special needs girl after your rate by this off body or the baseball team althea some or all and i remember retreating fuckin stitches and we're like hat but he wasn't really hoping everyone would get that but no one god it except for the two of us what we mean by get it might get the joke like the joke was it was very it's very obscure there's a book written and i was only knows because working barnes noble time there's a book written about a baseball team that raped or mentally i was a girl in jersey and they all got away with it yeah i'll get away with it and but is a joke was i'm fucking butcher listen tells me but i never said that idle because now it take out of context are making himself back really i don't mean to be a member patrice not laugh fuckin hysterically
and she laughed too she laughed but she laughed his the joke was all look at her she's laughing like those special needs girl it just got rate by the baseball team and said o girl food tomorrow like like this social needs grow didn't understand that what has just happened peter was making that analogy that she didn't understand he wasn't being nice right roma people give a lot of shit the least lamp it'll give a lot of shit lisa lebanon and i don't get along really haven't me i don't know all i did was to radio one time in tat when my buddy cow head and i was i lived in tat wondering dates i was just hanging out of my mouth is my family and am i gonna do radio in the morning she came by issues i can use to leave and colleagues i go is not promoting anything he's just hear she's i'll do caught radio with other comics and he's i guess he's a friend of the show he just don't trust me it's good held just laugh he'll have a good time old set you up and she was not what an idle do show these i've always my foot
the mechanism to fuckin leave shoes ii the either leaves or i leave and i was like actually kind of newer and that's why what i want to say something to her when i get to switch amish fuckin bolted it smells like what the fuck was that like i would never wrong and this is a long time issued last longer she cried our remember but like probably nine years ago is seven years ago why and i just was like i was like oh i wanted to paralyse the biggest fucking compliment cause i known her when she would wear the gold chains onstage gold chain osha and go on stage with the with the huge mercedes emblem prior neck go rings oliver ends i swear to god and and and be like a wrapper like a yo yo yo yo i'm down with the black do it wasn't a fought out act like she hasn't like her now is a lot more clean rise would wear like a costume onstage the compliment her maybe she's maybe she was afraid i'd say that
but wanted complimentary say you're killing it let go excited to see her but she might be in the room that's wild maybe she takes so much shit or took so much shit from camelias so that she just didn't want have anything to do with the possibility of judge i i can relate to that feeling i quite agree totally especially if she did a lot of she experimented with a lot of stuff and tried really hard a lot people i gave her a hard time for her rachel jokes saying who's trying too hard to be edgy and they will just be really mean to our but got into that man might gonna comedy is if i don't like it i would be mad at you i get it if it sucks and want to listen to i want to be there but why would i be mad at you like into it we too want to sabotage someone andrey never do that nation
could never do that anna ones an end if you made me laugh i can help you make me laugh listen leaving only made me laugh maybe she's fuckin too many dude fog in and we maybe this is too much so she does this keep your eyes the prize type thing in her had only now this guy's gonna fuck with my vibe get em out probably i mean i was a lot more i was really not about it when it happened a nose like those out for these liberally put can i feel that way all now i'm i'm so i'm need to see her succeed in that the global kind away to share oh yeah so this like two thousand five is probably the loose she was getting a lot of heat for being a hack back down by a lotta comics as i was when she is just starting to become successful and you know that thing would people just start to becomes sesar wave of resentment from all the fuck inch dollar comedians this shit you dude i think that i think that makes me will not want to succeed that's crazy
i think there are some service sabotaging people were you just don't think maybe it's their fuckin there were never get us there look for a reason to not succeed if that is if it's because somebody cause yak olives right now with the with the type of comic that do made the art form of stand up isn't as important as fame and like getting too like the fame of it by which we have set says look honestly because not us about it but it's definitely where my heads out right now because i think into in promoting the book moaning non fucking stop you feel like this disconnect from reality and you and you then i look like guys that are not really comics say but then go out and it is just more about famous as opposed to being you know i mean doesn't make any sense totally ever taken acting class we undertook an acting class of iran was fucking people twenty four seven fuckin empty that's all they do
they just looking to get it out you know they really should have they should have reality tv classes if you really want to get sick people just this is how you get very that's what we should do we should start a fuckin seminar on how to become a reality tv stark reality tv stars exactly what i'm talking about the guy to just it's it's not about anything other than just being famous an end you and i could probably qualified to tease i'm a year on trips libya you are on your other shows before that it was wrong sort of reality shows in our if your factor that's it wasn't it that sort of a reality show too it's all reality we now but if we want to do that if we wanted to do a quorum quote reality show we easily could get that done now we can we could start coaching people on their zeal areas
jeanne people on how to be like the most vapid reality so this is what you have to do teach them about conflict you gotta get involved in conflict with online is many famous people's plausible twitter wars are good for it isn t snapshot twitter wars teach them make youtube videos com people out and you know that is the way to get it is the most amount heads vote job your head on porn stars bodies release it all over the internet people think it's real god i've a porn tape if you can have porn table yet appointed but if you have a little dick stay away from the point i cannot imagine if you leave of apparent even backfires i'll give you a party which tiny like he has no reference what the public a dick is when you i don't watch porn maybe cited comic is never going to stage on the way you do and in every way porn a guy who is the falcon shooter in santa barbara acidity didn't watch porn because he would get you
one of the men in the porn videos appreciated that that was something that that's crazy fuck it said tat kid a red manifesto i think you if he had had once you bailing out his notice fuckin worth it i watch the video there wasn't going to but yesterday i found myself watch clicking through and look other stuff online in this but the one that is why washes because its now because this really odd thing where these feminists and men's rights groups are logged using it as a platform to do battle it's become like this battlefields is that yes yes women can now you yes all women and i think what campaign is whether tried do this hashtag is there saying guys are saying not every guy is like him they're saying is yeah but yes all women are subject to those assholes and that you
all women get fucked with yes all women experience massage any yes all women experience sexism my pride we all this from boston is that it's not going to fix mentally derange people and we are also not being completely objective with why he is the way he is there is obviously something really fucking wrong with your brain if you can go shoot a bunch people than shoot yourself ok we think we can all agree on that all agree on that and their obviously he had some extreme issues with his personality if you will the video you don't have to i mean i just did yesterday if you watch the video could see like he's a psychopath there's something really wrong with this guy links or asperger's who knows and i know what that means you i don't like all wacky labels when it comes to mental this is because i'm not sure i trust them all you the book
on the spectrum always he really was a user can u way that you put that spectre on a scale can you make that guy jumping to take a water and retail autistic he is like a much our believe you you know it's like adhd the kids get engaged does he did it someone just say that they invented that it's not real meaning what does it mean he doesn't like school who the fuck does it's boring you shit you put me in school right now you think i need drugs they made me go back to high school right now they would put me on fuckin ritalin this kid's got problems he's got to age hd he's never to succeed in this life he's never functional part of society unless it takes medication becomes fuckin square peg gibbey living your life is around hole you fuckin only think unity just goes to those whose maybe we'll f there's no fucking by law
i love that analogy of if you put him in a tank watered with the which is what they do with body fat cats i have to tell you about ninety five percent that's other job not hormones are which they drowned around the really detail of their wives z doesn't die she's out which one sorry we were wrong that's are they actually said but probably some way that she still which i think our would have been registered on the spectrum somewhere fakir you every comic we know why oh every comic i know the talking emotion casual yesterday about that we're talking about how action wasn't him we'll talk to about that but was another comic recently about how you wouldn't talk about yesterday about like finding early on who the hell wasn't which comic was in here but finding someone early on and recognising a k it what it was bullshit we're like you're all fucked up in a lot of ways like do delay get em right now impulsive crazy wild
it's doing nutty shit right now go hey you're probably a comedian yesterday i was motion but finding someone who can pay attention classes always mocking everybody clear cut this hope for you yes like you you ve got the number one draft pick in this in this class as far as like the stand up comics draft if i was going to come in as an expert on comedy ok i've been community law fucking time i could come in i could sit down with all these high school kids and who is the biggest fuck up command where would you get in trouble for in the uk would start talking to me if i get this kid to relax saying while this fat fuck over here wont let me alone like hell and live in this bitch digs shit doesn't stinkin meanwhile i know that she blew my friend she denies it and we knew could find some crazy dude who is power while many i'd like you to manually
we d like like these fifteen years like pakistan and people in class thrown by a man who knows what he did who knows with that guy did but if you could be there at that time and go hey listen you probably communion you could be a great comic like all the other stuff signing work out man that lawyer thing the amounts pushing for ankara happen it's not gonna happen you'll go crazy you jump off a fuckin building man you not your goddamn comedian that's what there was no options in life when i was in college it was like you you wanna go so carpet niece georgia mac georgia can hook you up with that or you maybe i was never gonna get us some medical supplies and what sort of god i tried i tried doing the construction route so i could work it was your hard drive me crazy i was doing while i was still competing and man did i worked my buddy jimmy a we we did this
night to columbus all and it was all like a wheelchair ramp so like two weeks it will just carrying russia treated lumber and bags of concrete it was fog in brutal and up to the end of the day i had no energy to do anything i couldn't train i couldn't occurred didn't tupac i just want to sleep and i get up in the morning alarm go off in a bit like you got to be fucking kidding me i can't believe i have to get up i'm so tired and you do it over again it was every dave's carrying like who knows how many hundreds of pounds of shit and i just thought but this is some people life man over and they just look for the saturday and sunday and then it comes along they buy down their mouthpiece and they fuckin just go out there swam and pick up those cement carry him up that fuckin ramp never forget that weak those two weeks that i worked for construction company i mean the tough two weeks it was the summer was hot out as a tough got job and ordinarily you know their carbon
these are ordinarily they don't have to deal with many things like that like day they build houses but a key julie there's a weird project like a giant wheelchair ramp at night to columbus all too long like rap quite a lot ass a man and a lot of pressure treated lumber the trip the treaty lumber the splinters get your hand and i can think of is not feeling sorry for myself at all but think oh but you can get stuck here like this there's a whole our past and options in life and i was i was on a really bad one and as a rule you get stuck here is good honest live it is not as bad as path crime is as bad as a path of exploitation is in those are morally bad but it was like this is going to be difficult and not very rewarding is going to feel terrible and does not gonna pay very much one either if you want to be a grunt if you want to be a labourer it's tough work it's a real tough make a living and i remember knowing big
as of that that i had to find a way out and then almost within you know a year or so i was doing stand up but it was a part of the whole evolution that then having that job was a part of my evolution those like there's no way this can happen this i'll go crazy this movie hellish life because when someone is just telling you what to do all day in its physically back breaking and not rewarding wit we're desiring to want to play our are our mind wants to wander we want to figure things out we build things we want to we want to cry we want to explore wanna see new things as of the human mind wants does my carry bags of dirt up a fuckin ramp all day bags of rocks and dirt and functions lumber all may body is want in mind want that either you might want to do with a shake my let's go find someplace but do you think i do think there are
is that really genuinely bob love that job i don't know i would hope so who knows how what people like what i don't understand the grateful dead people love i love the grateful to go so you love i'm not saying you shouldn't be grateful that i bet there's a lot of shit i liked you don't like you like dwight yokul a loved one yokul i'll have to contend johnny cash love johnny cash dodge new johnny cash ominously cha name something i think you'd ok do you like the smiths now do you like the violent them now are you kidding me now i don't hate him i'm just not drawn to them but i like weird shit like that tonetta nedda gino tonight as he's a psycho transvestite guy in in toronto and he does is a youtube videos miguel i fuckin millions heads actually bought is final does he saw a vile you saw mike if i ever get irregularities have this guy's shit because these guys doing
completely on his own he's up in toronto he's apparently got a kid and his son like does not like it sounds like full grown is probably in its fifty this guy and he does all of his own music he makes all of his own like really crude videos like super low budget like some of em just like a towel that's hanging in four there's him and that image dancing around my god oh i can see as a son not enjoying that matches and one of his more extreme videos almost always was this other stuff this other stuff if you go to his youtube videos his youtube videos economy interesting though what does israel nib low tech nothing you doctor i just got into poverty levels papa you just got in the coffee had that says take a pill now on my computer and i was i gotta i was doing like some
will do something somewhere and i walked by and the girl that was workin the front desk didn't have like i shouldn't have like abroad but blouse definitely like shit you didn't look like nipples illegal mounds on her tits and i just got caught off guard nose like what is that i've never seen them i've never been a close within them in my life it's amazing how much like whether you're ro or con how much can change things like some guys i got really in the big nepal's and then some guys like almost no nipple so so one could look at the same breast and one guy be like yes another guy like i think it's i think it's warm when you like fourteen percent when we get what what you see first i think sometimes such formation i've never seen you never let me tell you something i might have been creep out if i ever saw them growing up for man i got under way
there's a when are you drunk per year in year later years go to puffy nipples there's a bud tumblr whereas you found me unfair to here's the picture accrued don't go there see that jesus christ such people so strange what's the weirdest thing you ve seen on a girl a girl's body you ve never seen another failure like worth fox this nothing nothing like like you never see the growth hair on her back now my character ass year but that was standard back in the eighties man yet one i don't see it at all when life make sure you we are right i don't like that with a brian let's get back to all we're talking about to begin with which was this this battle is going on with the men's right out in the feminist is pretty fastenings i read this blog today with this here's the thing about all this stuff it's it is certainly important to be nice to women
certainly important to be nice to men it certainly important that we get along and be cool with each other but things happen when something down and these rules the extreme versions of these ideas emerge and on the men side the men's rights the summaries fuckin creepers some people are so gross there things are their savings if women fuck this guy he wouldn't have goddess rampage and its because all you stuck up bitches wouldn't fuck this guy like this which created a snarl yeah no bullshit no bullshit there's people out there in this world that genuinely suck a genuinely hate women and for whatever reason whether it's the programming they got from their mother whether it's the genetics they got from their their parents in it grandparents i don't understand how personality totally created out of buddy truly does i think it's all guesswork i think they are a key
usually though horrible examples of people gone through life and just been shit on and fucked over and they turn into monsters and so you ll run a new home at age whatever thirty whatever the fuck old that guy is it wrote that thing and you essentially have a woman hating monster that's the deal between feminism and the men's rights guys because if feminism if they don't like men no one's gonna rape me you know if women are upset with men in oh if you wanted to similarly unhinged woman and she's bombed out about do it's very rare that she's gonna resort to violence but a man whose like this guy that's like see spoken stoppages for that doesn't really that doesnt work the other way it does you need and i can hear that from women so the real rob with all the stuff it's not like that
these men's right guys are all evil or feminists or our can't it's that we're doing these two sides do battle with each other for no fuckin reason what are you want on the males are among the woman side have arches on the good human side because of your on the good human side all big abandoned all of it all whole battle gets abandoned it's like they forget that this is all about the people who died from nothing but what i'm saying is it like instead of like it like trying to like attack each other and go back and forth that she has never gonna fix anything instead of instead of engaging in that be like more pro active and report the good human being ethics support that the good human being idea just fuckin be cool to each other just because everyone who can't be cool each other keep them the fuck away from me keep them walk away from all of us are issues aren't like
men verses women are issues are do she fucked up men verses hunting women it's our problem that's a real problem in this life and the do she fucked up man victimized more women than the women victimize meant if a woman victimization here's a big one you always hear that why you always here's this fucking bitch she's schemed whom she married him she got pregnant she took all spoken money was planned the whole time so why so what did she fuck em yeah then he did what he wanted you wanted money he wanted to fuck they got together she pretended to like him more than she did because she like money in the way to get him to give the money is to protect you like some it's not fucking i could science you're angry that through your angrier dumb guy with money got robed it well guess what is smart as he was to figure out how to make all that money
figure out how to get good with human communication see no one someone's just a hooker figure out how to figure out how to the spot some chick was just trying to rob you because your ugly and old but your riches fuck you thought she loved are you crazy are you from can crazy you have a mirror in your house go no smell your own breath you fuckin creep use she want to fuck you because you're hot come on had money she's got looks it was an exchange should get tired of it she left you didn't set it up right a job you got over you lost all your money start from that's stupid i will had borne ethiopia with no feet i'm not i feel for those guys difference between a guy who is willing to just give his car and start shooting people because chicks wanna fuck em and some girl we try to rich dude in a man
her in getting your brain so she could get a lot of money and fuck em over a divorce who cares about that guy the worst thing that can happen child child here and child support are the two once at a really creepy because some relationships they get so fucked up and hence not a man verses woman thing it's an evil person thing like we'll be accused of doing crazy shit to their kids that they ve never done anything but the wife hates the man so much like maybe the guy fucked around on her with his some woman or something like that and got a practice in some craziness and they're getting divorced women will say evil shit jostling men will say some evil shit men will make things about their wife having affairs the lie spending money the lie of the plant drugs on each other and then call the cops and each other people do that shit i gets one things cops look for divorce case when someone calls it says sky my husband easier using drugs and i was using drugs
ago really eyes using drugs because in divorce or somethin in fact here they have to do you have to wonder if you're a detective and you come you're talking to someone i found a bag cocaine my husband's underwear draw did you really are you guys get divorced because you're getting divorced i put you on a machine that that fight if you tell the truth and would you be called the fuck out of here people crazy men and women everyone's crazy no was idle women side the women side is that they have to deal with people like that all the time and that men down and that we should respect it but my mind point of view is that is that a mean whatever he said but also that i think there's a lot of people to jump jump up when these things happen and they look to make a big grand state and i dont know if they're making a big grand statement because they really think they're gonna change things or because
what like moral brownie points you know those things where people do we like i think you're kind of being gross here why i'd show gross about this inhumane sometimes people don't talk about shiting like do you believe this but i also know your loving all this like positive progressive granted brownie point you getting with this article does like a bit of ego behind it that's quite distasteful what was the article you read was a sort of some rogan one no no no did you hear that you hear about that one the others is now the it's all about the murder of the mass border in santa barbara yet he had one about the mass marie blamed set rogan on the marble murderer in santa barbara some girl am i didn't read her article per se a feminist writing an article about south rogan saying this is what you get when you get when you make these hail oriented movies like neighbours where the wind just kind of like goody bags at the end of the movie and their women to have a voice and i think by the way and i am
parents are never fucking listen to what i say i started supposing i general words not another word at the general i was worried and so does that's incredible john appetites slam a movie critic a move we critic washington post and horrid oh jesus christ you watch it well you know it's funny but but there's a lot of women that you go to the movies like here's one hour when i really thought about it for the first time the first time ever really thought about how where it is and how biased movies are and if i we do have white privilege steadily in the movies and this is why i went see planet of the apes in a black neighborhood in philadelphia with my friend tommy junior and his girlfriend and we were what europe is this recently in the new plan the apes yeah you better story of its nineteen seventy six non real what year is a real priority for things like early hubley they wish it was really early because black and white muslin was plainly
no no no no no no the albino monkey sees me any so we were watching these previews these movies and every movie was about white people every move was about white people over and over five zero that room you're now seeing you're like falk totally and then when there's finally nineteen sixty eight was the original plan and when there is finally a scene where there's a black eye in the black i was like a maniac i forget what the the thing was the black i was like complete over the top like there's a bottle i've got cry i don't remember who the but i think it was tracy morgan i think was a movie would tracy morgan was totally completely buffoon age and over the top and i was like why and i never thought about it before but i was sitting near that movie theater surrounded by nothing but black people and i was there
this is what is this light this is terrible this is annoying and then i realized what you know i'd never even considered it before as a privileged white male i just would go to the movies like oh here's fuckin time crews movie ya oh are you really in space time are you really save the world tat yeah he's bradley cooper is to take an appeal to make some super smart ya here's a scarlet johannsen they just injected her was suddenly makes her super smart your father that's gonna turn out of your people but of europe you know it's normal but if you go to the black theater and you wash em with surrounded by black people and you like oh my god we're gross we're grocer we fuck and we don't we make any movies for black people like if you listen i've ever listened opium anthony with their kids in the car yes
you have a second perhaps can you realize it doesnt have family never begin offended by obeying anthony even realise what they're talking about when i listen i'll just go home so great this so entertaining and then your kids from the cardinal daddy what's a bluff you're like i never get so far turn the turn of the cardinal day and anthony was screaming because she's icon cause she's kind i forget what it was aware of it are best of what it was but it was it was so ridiculous i heard the world those like i'm sorry you see he's a cunt he's a car it was he's account who is positive about dammit and i heard that episode before somebody hit the button immediately
i immediately set it off i'll listen to their old either recent episodes when you like when everyone's in yeah retriever trees and this new alleys and any other ones patrice on i was listen to patrice when they how near the day was anthony dressed up as a nazi that he's a drop in and bombs left and right grape and he was there were trinity who get picked up quicker a guy who looked like a nazi or was wrapper no orb of just the latin mega visits nazis what is right what did he did patrice dress up like you didn't go ghetto other users already but here's a video look it's anthony's got a goddamn helmet and their picking up before they pick it up patrice aged inhale hitler thing now arm up yeah that's how it is getting a nazi helmet on the african continent but then you can't you see that i'm a nazi
this will mean nothing right i stop i see maybe you might say rather you chose nazi over nigger make up a second now i know now member who was here we're talking about ellis about jason nowadays ass jason s number and a few really yeah that's what it is that whenever thou in air he tat demanded that burned fucking christ my kids just like you to tell it seems a desire and open up the door as monsters and psycho tonkin adore just shut what was daddy nothing nothing they're not then i asked i did my audio book my book i wrote an article of chapter about it
greece and i had to decide in their do i do patrice his voice do i just do a regular voice so so when you buy the audio book i book you hear me got bar that's not even a girl and i was like do i do that with all my people like when i when rules metoxen i make him i did it i didn't die retreated disobeying through the he so is you know his voice was so big deal was you can almost have to do is out because as you heard i have sounded on open anthony but with the whole thing was an idea to kosovo polje initiates are proposing such drink it so much and patrice thought that was fucking hilarious calves ain't you how you can't even save some disabled that is the worst version but it joe ideas impression you have to do it right if you gonna say something joe he said you can't i have to say and i are everybody does i got everybody as they say something as joey you don't just say like if our as a joke i might say
like as me i might our he's got this great new joke about bub except if you're describing already mad than you'll do that my normal mamma do that you can't do that what was your will smith voice the same exactly on the arroyo exile raises kobe bryant for his i wrote the inward and the book twice and i was why people saying it in realising sudden fuckin really pay much attention the editing of it wrote them and then if if than you're like the motion and i was like no single should i gotta say the onward knows is thinking for history go down as saying the word and despite whether or not i've ever set it no it got me record say in it so i called my body dorsey whose honour isn't responded down i'm like hey can you come
read a passage of my book and he's like i beyond my god with our own way now you did because how most most notably the single white person i go pose they'll go that way you like you know i love you but get you out of this one so retail own up to it in the book itself irene audio book itself you would say well there's a questionable word in this passage so i brought in a good friend i do do you for sixteen hours to remain audio book i was like oh my god i cannot read out loud to save my life sixteen hours succumbing to ours is the actual audio work three well that's crazy i'm the worst out loud reader and for like the first aid kit man if you fuck it up you have the guy who asked me let go the first first chapter is like women do need glasses
no i just another girl but i was like all do drunk a ruined me to a drunk you here for can read drunk so that grab that dares daddy's although useless we'd go back and we do it and then and then i was also like like i'd read it passage and then i go on and be like expound on what i just read and kind of and i was eager podcast and that was in horrible that took like forever and so that finally the guys i just fuckin read it so i just read it towards the end but it gets i wouldn't i would think it would be better if you just read it and if you fucked up just common and effective fuck that word up in this keep going i like that way people would live get they get the book the whole book but they also get the experience of you reading the book like you separating yourself from the book while you're at it i'm in the eye nobody's gonna sell my because i i did acknowledge it i did when i did forget some a comic so i would work the peace as i was like evolves onstage ok
keep that entered they out of that study caps i think they kept some of it amber they couldn't kept all it in so weird though that they decide what gets left in and what comes out this whole through this whole book rating process has been vulnerable fought because you you really let go of it because it is entirely different industry you didn't i passed i had a book deal as well the broken their stare give these wacky fuckin notes just advice unlike how i should talk about things what i described how are they were night does not happening you not involving the creative process game their money back six this is crazy they want to meet essentially right my down onst on paper and sellers book milk with joy carl ended in and jury seinfeld there that's nice don't give if i'm not doing that that's why right different than i do stand up to two different things you can write when you're writing like just writing
there's a way that you can express yourself that's unavailable for talking right you know it's twice the dragon dictate didn't work for me cause you talk it into this dragon dictate and it would put it right into computer yeah print it but it didn't work from because it sounded spoken leads like an a couple like an and one of our things for me was i i did the same thing were they wanted all the stories i had told on stage or on pike ass a think tank do that i can just thought that they bought the stuff they think they're gonna sell it's not an artistic thing it's like guess what dummy the same person that told those funny stories i can tell other funny story like we're running out a funny story here it's really fascinating like their stores i had to put in the book i had to put the machine and not right that in there and there's a lot of there's a collective will smith story i had to put it but then i wanted to do the several poles one did you one where i met ralph samson and a kid i was half sampson
that's my player and ass i went to school it went to us like an eighth grade i just had a really worthy of our small player and so i went to on vulnerable bash walk ample and rough samson games big like the first time in our concussion and the two best basketball players got pulled out for drinking so the next day i d sit i was too that's possible players and everyone thought we drank together so now all of a sudden i'm fifteen fourteen and everyone thinks i'm cool supporting with eighteen year olds seraphs amply comes i thought this to find me robson s everything comes up species i m here to talk to you about two things the five thousand kids on jim floor he's it about basketball we're doin about discipline first this tunnel discipline and who in here parties and i was on the impression we were all her hands up but i was only for comparison i just want to drink and he was like a woman listen five thousand kids know razor finance he's you party outspoken thirteen i nada and the reporting to my life all i said was hardy and he
fucking lost it and five thousand kids are slap in the gym floor like oh shit we're gonna make an example are you party animal he's lost the room so he brings me up front to the import of all the kids and it makes me stand up and he puts a basketball behind my legs like this and then one of my arms like this anymore we party already working party already today from standard like this for his whole fucking our speech with a bow people here and there and he's like and keep them me and by the way i'm so in my head that i'm i'm have social inside it is what are but i'm from everyone and i'm like being fun i'm being marked i was listening to his question companies like you think labour party again i just said yeah and the fucking place when nana there like oh please i have you party hardy and i didn't know the answer i just like we too ants fucking people are you think you do marijuana and now i'm kill em like i'll get to in college these kids i left that jim and every
wanted to talk to me everyone's like party animal what are you doing in there still holding the basketball between illegal here the whole fucking time so why you track and jobs long cracking jokes and digital debased by our that's a long time my cousin abe almost brought him here today i should have known you think about it because an aim was there at the camp because he's from fully i did know anyone because names like you party that i don't know i just thought we'd all finance these are real i would you put your hands up if you dont party i like i wanted to be cool so yes like so now come up nebulae party only party and i believe you have i became with their camp and i have friends and so on that stories longer and i gave it to them i go this is the best or this defines me like i'm not really that's various so it's all parties stories but it's like that's larry story thanks that's so nutty that this could have
possibly sent you on a path when you're that young thirteen years old i just and it's all just wanting to be accepted aren't you ever have those moments where you'd go somewhere and you didn't know anybody shortly frolic every fucking grew up together yeah that's a weird feeling philip done a lot as a kid but i thought that that define then i became the pot i became the party animal but kind lived up to whatever about i went to high school the very next year did know anyone so i'm sure that kind of i was a girl it worked in vila nova so the other stuff different personalities develops when kids have to move to rights they move from one spot unnoticed by the move more than once they develop dislike has this weird newcomer personality in alex it in in every romantic kids movie the rebel that moved in the town the new kid that you don't know peggy smoke cigarettes fuckin twilight style movie or even
like karate kid in you like move into some new town cry can i fucking the democratic you came out with my the attempt camp and so on so i go i got a fucking complement in right about this this but i didn't know anyone i know anyone so then these all the lad variant cameras meeting the cool kids in their like him and when you do today as i nothing and arguing socratic it and i didn't any about it knows how to cool so cool this omission bell was pointless my mom's late picking me up we're late doing everything he dropped me off to the movie late and i go in the movies already started i can't find any two kids but i already bought a ticket and already of popcorn and drink and am i thought so i just go down sit down i've never seen a movie by myself that time and i just sit down and i keep form but i can't i can't find him but then the movie start and it's a great fuck a movie and it's a movie about a loner kid like myself the
it know anyone and is trying to break into the new group just like i was doing a tennis camp and i really get involved in it i get so bombed the movie that when he does the fucking crane cake and kicks the guy i start bawling fucking crying thinking i'm dying one day in my head unlike i feel it danielson the how i come up in a fucking kids that were had wanted me to meet were sitting direct like two rows in front of me and i heard you weeping they heard me crying and signing weeping like loud are being so like a fucking to ten year old cry like you we were ten had that worked out they turn around saw me crying and they were about to make fun of me and the like oh you got us you got we thought you were crying you fight with us here is it my fault i'm an old like fuckin walked out movie i still day so you you had a fake that you weren't cried a figure
wasn't crying and and we all hung out there like you just do that makes us cry idea why either kind of movie you have definite credible this what all the other we ve been boyz in the hood didn't crying i cried i can't watch movies with with good things happen a little kids like a ransom any arguments and i couldn't it's not gonna happen again and i want some other time travellers life what's that that's a movie thy cried really bad at what is it this dude who taught can time travel but real but yeah it's aerate banner but as we gave them forget her with them where they when they page that you don't want to see wrote it lines old dog about me goes did you read the book
no because in the movie does he come back and teach himself to jack off i go so the movie egos and data and follow the book book he came back and taught himself at a jerk off so i gave himself was a gay to himself nobody i turn on the kids that look like an example not only when it is fourteen hey everybody gotta berber protect carbon order my book go if you see a bookstore by please and sweet me a picture of you sure this reading in a born the noble tat tom singer exam cigarette and brainwash you when you wrote it like how much how much input they have as far as like what you couldn't couldn't put in per hundred hundred percent like like like there was things they wanted in there there are things i wanted in there and there are things they want their such alike have to meet in the middle and i'm in the middle looks like it it is like it is probably i think fourteen twelve chapters is probably maybe for war
chapters people heard the story like the machine right and but put the rest the one i got two but then there are ones they wanted to from like the article i told about the time machine on a pizza boxed when election a talk about i talk about me my body eddie took over this town one time i took over a boat we told him we are writing a book like right now to college which already a book mtv about partying and then these these girls do a fuckin insane ready for us and they were all like fucking amusing it was just out of a movie and then we are drawing together and then i'm trying to fuck this chick like three in the morning and she's like she stopped me sick buddy i'm just doing enough to get the book and i'd forgotten about the bog lie so like a book she's like you're running look like comparing the pocket book shelves only reason we're here and i was like oh yeah the book so then i wrote it chapter honey i don't know where you are what your name is but you made it in the fuckin book finally after all these years that's fine so
it was fine but it was it was probable again season shit tunnel it's a fucking a lot of work for very little money but you ve lived a fucked up life so it's probably important document we ve got alcohol poisoning ever taken it to the next well i haven't of never got but your liver you know sometimes i live have fog why demanded illegal california doc liver and lame duck livers the delicious there were they do they take a duck and they put a feeder down throat new force feeding and people hate it it becomes like this horrible cruelty issue but meanwhile you tell them and eat m still you just can't do that wherever it is very strange and you you're not even supposed to sell it organic you can't have organic farms which would mean you wouldn't overfeed em you just give me a lot of food just have food around while the time though be smaller livers but still delicious they don't even allow that
crazy really light but it still i give you need the rest the animal though like deducts deeply ducks all time goose the knowledge these geese instead in vegas i write at the i in vegas internet yeah yeah i get in vegas it's in france too i think we had in france i'm not for animal cruelty don't get me wrong but which weird about the fog wild things ways of doing it ethically his ways whether they actually want to get overfed like they actually go around the feeder like the birds are looking for it they wanna get fed much really yeah it's not necessary to hold their fucking neck like that and shove it down but if you just give them a shitload of food you're gonna get it pretty good result and might not be as good as stuffing it down their throats but the the idea
like banning it is ridiculous like banning the issuing of ducks leverage we that is how it don't answer were on partners fell so said hoddan johannesburg manner he hung up sorry he won't leave a message we will not leave a message and then he'll be of set when you don't call him back but you don't notice about or that's what he wants you just want to see miss call on his phone and he calls you back anything area i texted and one time i try to tax revenue just nothing and you like what i say turns out or broken regulation dog and elegant should come on by crozier yeah zones gatt rules to want to communicate with the a foul and rule over your love joey luxurious rules like i said he is a perfect example of a guy like how to be a cock now there's a lot of us man these accounting either i'd like to see a book written he would have with that tracy morgan think is tracy morgan says that that stores bullshit story that you do
and j more wandered doing for wild stop done he says it's bullshit is it just lie and doesn't want people it is i knew it when i first told it does he was innocent and one at the first honest way ever got out of here the reason want to tell it number one tracy morgan will never member that story we're gonna move that night with me and he's deftly knocking them ugly i never thought you never be like oh yeah that's all true tony what was there so i mean and tony would says is true we must remember that just i told you members in a little differently than i do but we what we member is not as a european to check right that's an end johnny and i've always said this and i say this on your pockets for time i told it was and it's one of those things like i wanted to put this put story in the book because i wanted to clear up whatever rumour there was for good and that is when i when i got smoked that with pete with tracing morgan he ass i remember saying what's in your weed and then he said you smoke charmer whatever our
it over tony woods and tony words was like he's just fucking with you so like i have always said that i thought he was fucking with me that i didn't think you'd i smoke pcb that i'll eat it would just fucking with me the whole night so i'm like or not i don't want you know but right but i've never i've never said i've never said like me and him were smoking tcp what had happened was peep the story he heard this everyone had heard was jade moors another and he added thanks to deny the norm so you didn't care even have an attachment to the truth rat hit so like in his thing i think it's there were pretty much definite smoking she'll be all night long and thereupon now corwin knows i'm enlightening bullfighter is a much better story but my is very attached to the truth of of i didn't know no fucking idea what do you think about that about taking a story and then adding a bunch of shit to it it's it's tricky right because
does make it funnier talk yeah but it's not really it's like this one where is it become art you know it's it's like a weird collage reality and paintings you know i do a fake background like a real life but a fake background we'll carlos more like what is this is a picture you tell me a story that really happened or are you just as this is like a fictional peace that you ve created you know like one of those i was watching fuckin w movie jealousy the doubly moving terrible movie awful movie through just so clunky cart finish speaking abc after school special in the former president but whilst going on i like i'm watching people pretend that these were the work words that came out of all these people's mouth in this order like you don't know you weren't there and these people are alive still like i can't this is so ridiculous i can't watch it i'm a month i've always and very it's a problem
my storytelling is like the machine stories one hundred percent true i can't really veer that much off the truth that's good that what's that makes you a good story tat it makes it difficult like that's the reason i'm really to i'll tell this treaty more history or stage because when i tell it is not entertaining it's as entertaining as it is but it's not like a great story there's a big fuckin lulls we're just hearing me give you facts about what when next what happened next rise so i wrote in the book i try to be fair to she i don't want people saying he smokes maybe i don't want him to have to defend that i would die would not like either so i had to write it very fucking accurate to exactly what happened so that when it does read it he goes only other were there had to be more than one night like that yeah there had to be it's kind of up open about that which is why i was surprised he's we said he said
i will listen woman npr this is way before their story however weird world tracy morgan's unimpeded mp are obvious considered and he said he said he'd never dreamt done dogs and its entire life will they make sense and i was like it is and so i was like ok i saw on read it he was like i've always smoked my own we'd i've never spoke pcb and then am i in my head i was likewise just those two statements are mutually exclusive but that's why i was like that's why was i guess what i never wanted to telephone stories like he says he's never done drugs i've done i'm with utmost we'd with it you know one man i think it's too slight began to let could trace morgan betrays more probable talk about that does
stories done the i said it's done i wanted to i would like say nothing but good things about from here on dude i say in the book is fucking oh well calculated smart guy who knows what the fuck is doing funny shit man he's fucking hilarious who makes me laugh all atomic bombs me out that he hears my name on it and it fuck and make any just like manna fucking guy maybe doesn't in libya will seize it one day or maybe even eat em and starts magna around maybe and red menace save you didn't you what do they brow jumper front of both for its my jordan's make damn are it i remember i would save my life what do you think well if it's your jordan's and have respectfully fighting did i got some pretty sweet jordan's i don't think worse at work let's try unknown what i think when you think about when the like like as i read a lot of like comic books comedian books things i was disconnected with was when guys would just it seem like they just would real
their history and just be like it's a lie about or it or maybe just not like not own up two things here who i don't know you know i've only read a little bit of a few comics said never read a whole comics writing from start to finish my read books on comics like the kennison book this brother road and read a little bit of a vast martens book when i get bored i get bored written about oh i get it yeah you know i mean i think that i want to hear a comma if i want to reach a comics writing most hammered one read in a what what what their thought process like what are they what i think about things i sweat when what's happening there life what what do you know what
they think about the world that we live in like what others what are their thoughts that couldn't be condensed withstand the pact you know i mean like you'd rather here someone's process write a book about the process for the way they think are the way they these things as opposed to just like just in journalism for turning to my mom moved in with my step dad who is a real piece of shit in a word those two stories i come for you know there's not much official again at that why can the black movie theater life or you go goddamn my privilege holy shit wouldn't like what you're talking about with when you're in the black movie theater they're gonna think i've i don't think i've had any of this will that anyone has in their life media and there can cause anxiety to some people to start thinkin ones are going to happen ones the straw what happened ones the bad thing happen like death or cancer or most of the child or kidnapping like or orphaned
school shooting in your kid does if you think about that should alla time yours labelling bad things happening all its you put down the book euros thing about bad things happening all of you to the arctic like that you can now you know i can but let it happen adult just stop those thoughts really yeah then i'll help you i know it's part i'm not stupid i know the people people know than meteors can land another earthquake hit at any moment but right now i can feel that now this is a problem that most of your time is gonna be fine and everybody sits around waiting for the one moment when the fuckin soon army heads instead enjoying all the moments up into their point so what you gonna be
bob and around the middle of the ocean gasping for air going i was right i was right you are wrong and i was right we're african dad you know when you did too stupid but the problem is the now right now that's what people are so terrified of and terror bullet managing people tell bullet managing the constant state the state of right now so you're always looking for the future and he always worried about the past euros looking lord some moment where its can all bad and the fog skies gonna turn black and lightning bolts you're gonna go sideways through the fucking town everyone you leave you can say i have helped see when you didn't say that during that things happening you're fine you're fired and for all manner of cancer you of cancer now jane do you still alive and olives have hepsey well you
you can say i have hepsey when you didn't say that just a people are real bad now fuckin so you're always worried about this now and then this you don't have to be ok happens it happens but right now it's not happening concentrate on right now that's what people sucker people socket living in the present very very comfortable for a lot of people you don't live in the moment it you have a hard time writing like out i know i've been in your own head oh yeah like you fuck you just go i seriously i just spent fuckin three hours in bad worrying can i feel my liver touching my but my ribcage like and then not living in like the flamed does it since i have been fighting really how you never is finally enormous monkey left side the pays off how can reconcile bertone roadside cause your letters on your right hand yes evelyn
are you didn't even bother googling and now you're upset when it would left took think about where you get hit with a letter i've been i've had paying here like unless your heart and those who is below because i really factory as we u deck dude i was now i'll ever i'll fuck that makes me feel so much better wildfire kidneys we might have a kidnapping guns breakin almost goddamn thing i mean it i need to find i would like to do one cycle of growth just to get my body back mr it doesn't work like a rise of us wanted one pill that brings me back to twenty not use it doesn't everything now that it helps with healing but you're not gonna healed shit that's broken it is to a psycho stairways ruining girls what you might have wrong with you ve seen you everything like what are you gonna do need surgery economic back is probably of fuckin bulging discs in shit there
secure yourself son for example growth owes its i thought maybe they get growth i get it inspired to take gear out how often you work out a lot of just started doing lotta core and like the yoga where you darling double up when you do the whole deposed and you pump it ah but i just got these arm bars my back so i'm gonna fuckin my core heritage stanhope i think i have a hernia to list is however the ball of fuckin whisky this is your fuckin what's my nothin i get whisky knows very well three days of honest sincerity that i could feel my liver now note on the other side you have any idea what a fucking deal doktor once a year ago next week and what the fucking you're enough for that was the thought process vine that general worry that might be giving yourself something to think about it all the time i think about that
i i do i definitely prepped for the doktor like i don't go in raw rivalry and have a week of by but i you started not drinking on planes that was my biggest thing we're just started just started every time you take a plain flight you would get hammer track everytime wow that i was i thought that i can genuinely field zubaydah ever reach out to your doktor drew type do doktor georgia drew about it when he saw his eye is bad you have not done salmon ironic because ears other thing is that i can totally not drink but i couldn't the thing is i couldn't not drink on i really genuinely could not not drink complaints to a place it if i was on a plane or if i was getting on a plane i had to drink and i would be physically ill having to put our call my mouth at like for a six in the morning flight on a sunday news like fucking i like gagging going disgusting by need to come i'm freaking the fuck out its words
so one public place where it's totally acceptable to get fucked up gas mean aim is the one public place where they are the people that work there were also involved in making sure you're safe serve you booze me how we're is that its tone let me which like mozart and they ask for you in the morning level there always double half the price that the right at the first thing you ever hear in an airport on the rocks would you like a double for have price sure done dumb for half the price level says one signal tat have while they try to get fucked up little other can some cell booze got people were scared wizened third the junker on the planet receiving the pew girls are there are other pretty fly much as i do you see aggressively draw people c mon plans which is we're uncomfortable the problem is as a guy who drank on planes i was never out always well below the radar like i never cause drama if i never put when it came to drink some i felt like i had ordered to many i would stop
and i was well aware of it and men but you see it and then when we went to a wireless recently like coffee we should go leon emma thrown a flying from my own unaware was by flying i'm coming in hot like you can tell i come round and drinking on the plane lot and i'm a fly like every other day and lions like pull the plug she has no boots on this trip what to know who's on his trap you hang out finally going to care for the family is a problem in the crash your house all i said i said no i said ok i can do then why about on the plains has no boots on the plane see if you can do it see if you can do it cutting its annexes user yeah jesus following right is so much budgetary now had a brain brian my right i don't ever if i have something to do i would never sleep do an alarm i look i literally stay awake thinking i gotta wake up in the morning like i'll sleep half half alike like i get an early anonymous my alarm jesus
rise to europe annex i dont why did she say you could take his annex if you try to stay sober to me on a plane annex put it gets you fucked up right now it's very mild and i told you doctor drew about excels concerned so i don't wanna take betaken xanax here's one what you're take what i take is what i take to fly now the fly as all only gonna dig it is half milligram is have a your body processes that like less than a shot of tequila your buddies i get that help for you is that the problem is also for meaning like liberalize i'm talkin to lever so its mean beside healthy varies is not bad for about four o clock where did they get healthier and i have every morning with their fruit is i have a fruit saladin xanax oddly enough does too must raise your suggestion it makes me calmer and it allows my food to process more efficiently and they found a xanax or does shit like that allows you by the process things
i find i learned better when landmines annex do i've ever had i've ever had the adhd medicine the with his at admiral ara now now we talk about our time nine i know adieus got problems couple due to have a problem with three is in fact yeah one's got a real problem though it's amazing never right it scared realign interested out it's you can feel like it my general do anyway that speeds me up man i'm trying to stay calm its enemies insanity now i'm fine smuggler we'd we d better let review we d better for your liver then annex i am not interested in those pill eyes man a maybe it's a good one i don't know but those pill eyes their creepy them i don't want to enjoy it it then be looking to support some pill high company but you know it's really hypocritical my for my part because what is annex just technology so
figured out how to isolate some compounds are do something very particular to the human body like why would i be against that i love science i love the idea of the in constant innovation that's what that is someone figured out a way to alter human neuro chemistry i just don't trust me that's why i guess saint things like after all my not for me i'm too crazy what have i like it we are going to start i have really good self control but if i taking out a role in getting a lot of shit done see me justify taken around a lot and getting should done work time get shit done and just and jerked his fuckin ramp up with some afterall start rebuilding a wing on my fuckin house that's what you do not interested in it now i'm trying to stay calm thought i thought it after all the greater write a book about it would have heard of it bill snorting admiral whose author allegedly he's just after all
and his wife come out at a piteous lord natural it's like i'm just trying to fuckin right the bushes you're fucking snorting peaceable that's the most affect our care just take it take in weight in our data can snored do get a good what do you care about delivery method having this argument you don't know drugs a mouse my dad was a speed for a long time you dad was doing i told you a long time ago pope three years ago we hear it was rooms austrian proscribed it oh yes and he was taken the pill and it was and he didn't realize it was speed and just and i'm getting so much shit done yeah the end user alms and after all it is the other fen suspension was run was a diet build was fanfare transport trim spa what does that stuff at studying cynical smithy didn't that what
thirdly they pulled a lot of that should have been more like repute you can't buy them anymore i came upon of terms while keep leave in the coal son died waiting room overdosing waiting room at her deb deathbed data yet like she was overdosed and dying and then he overdosed and die maybe we known and unknown sorry he died she had a baby and he died in the waiting room for the baby common african it's not a good role model that and the gulf several your teacher the infidels alive care character development non fuckin so crazy i have a family member has got the problem the axis we have lots of family members with the guy was totally normal get injured at work back problems dislikes pad lower back doktor hooks
pills boom is after the races now he's a fucking complete total loser and can keep a job newsome all i'm new decade from an early age always worked always been restored its little knotty but always on the ball gotta has done all we need is that get hooked on those actually ours is check out i will pay bills are so fuckin good i can i can imagine i can totally imagine i just now we're dunham you don't like when you your surgeries with your back no why did one with one sir my first acl surgery whether i was a very particular painful way of doing it because they did what's called patel attend ligament a pc l they they take the the pd l and they took a slice of it like savior patel attendance about that why they might take like a third of it and that strip could you did patel attendants really big you dont needed that to be that big sort of over designed so they take
piece of it than the open you up and then they screw it in and they create a new ligament which your own body and then your body accepts it mediately because it's yours but you have screw in the bones of your in your upper and lower leg and you have this ligaments it's a part of your battelle the whole thing's fuckin inflame swollen its prey painful and they gave me one allows either we couldn't figure which when it was violence a perk assets but i took one and i've i felt so fuckin i just like just dumb just doll all my mom wish i was like i'd we rather deal with the pain and the pain was excruciating it was i get up the real pain was when i would lie there in on the bed like watching tv and then what get up when i put my foot on the ground all love would rush to my knee and it was like laser beams and razor blades and sang and in love and does
the whole knee was on fire so that was like for a few days but that was better than the violent did we take very four sunburns floored have you got a really bad sunburn tigers wagon in sleep i give laurie i would rather have the pain really shut pain are why because you can do with it like that people fester on pain mean there's some six scruciating pain i naomi wrong miss not all pains not saying but the pain of like surgery i gotta have my nose fixed symptom this well before i knew you and i saw you didn't do a video of you doing it what comes a girl isn't it yeah yeah we did a video because i want people to know that it was no big deal because i was tariff i'm doing tonight i waited a long time to do it my nose was broken when i was like five i felt
on a flight of stairs nos five and like my whole life growin up my nose fact from everything from sports from martial arts is fucked exist there was nothing in there but to do this blocked up by scar tissue and so when they opened it up they actually made it a little wider like you can actually i can tell the difference in pictures like looks wider because he opened it up and cut the terminates it is like these things inside these lumps he cut any put these plastics it's in there and stretched all out and then these other these sponges gets stuffed into the holes like beside the plastic splints and so the sponge disdain you no sir i think was a week around these days sponges come out and then two weeks later they pull the plastic strips out and you just got this crisis is issue clean and this is me like right after that jury had to clean it with a water pick out these away
pick em look out skinny tom cigarettes avery don't leave me may i time gained accompany pins so work you were you use it up your nose the special astral attachment this very hot right with sterile was grown mad nonsense photos you centres picture messaging mackey i put i put em on twitter some of em some of whom were so big the burghers we're so big it looks like i think the guy i brought in from sea gee i boaters i showed one time at the airport we started heaving etc he like a was hurling yeah that was they gave me all kinds of shit gimme prescriptions for the game
provisions for two different peoples and our men after the operation walk around my house i'm fine they gonna need anything and my mind was like you wanna take the prescription stuff and also not taking shit i'm fine lagoons every fuckin complaining about was nothing it was literally nothing oh no it feel slightly uncomfortable in my nose but people tweak a freak meaning they caught the turbine aids the stuff did cut out scarred tissue the whole deal and i was like nothing you know it's just a little little eighty like so why it wasn't anything serious but alas people are like any little slight on comfort feeling any slight discovered i knew it just like a door it just up and gives you a free ride just free ride to start doing pills we ride come you get a free ride very injured you need medication mr crozier
the next thing you know you line a bare feet propped up and you're in falcons annex land doo doo doo doo doo dozens of duty bumper them while you're dead explain that the devil knows when it's gonna fly lately i've been listening to the dead turn nice you don't have to about it it's a it reminds me of college reminds me of like a time when i do really really lived in a microcosm of just having a great time when you could tap out get off the grid when i was like like it's a reason i grant the grid remain like you can't like tat our disease i could back then because you know i was one only it was in my house oh i don't like you did you could literally get back we were some phrase bees just gone from the world yet you and you are in the moment i was really in the moment back then because you are like talking you're b no one has gone into their pocket look at their hands i was talking to
this lady tales dropped my daughter of school and she goes wouldn't you love to be their age again she's all kennedy and i said i don't know i said i think i think the world's way more complicated now for then it was for us and she is all you got that right and so i leave i say goodbye the little one i get in the car and i are driving off and as a driver that's hard to think about all i can think about is how crazy it would be to be a baby they d be a baby today and you know you're gonna have to grow up the time you're in high school there's gonna be mine mine communication you gonna know everyone's gonna know everything about everybody you gonna have the weirdest technology that's just it just on computers and and draw boards right now but it's gonna all exists sylvie their name yet within eighteen years you're crazy the world's gonna be an eighteen years and these kids are growing up and experiencing it out one be ten years less all the way at all
one hears what be honestly i think twitter and light and like email i think it's i think it's the cause oppression with a lot of people look at facebook what people share on their like i was saving one's name i was following this girl who is talking about the break up of her marriage and the fact and her husband was kind of having a hard time of it and that he was maybe like digging appropriately came by any asked to get some of his staff and sharing all is on facebook with all people and always people nowhere and arrangement but i mean but if you look at me in all people do is talk about tragedy on facebook and like it to sharing its is its want to be famous it's this one that everyone has to put make their lives public and its the sun everybody man it's not everybody's i dummies theirs alone people aren't you in that when i see people are fighting on twitter
like relationship fights on twitter i stop talking both of em not either one dummies very don't you you're talking shit about each other on twitter would you trying to hurt each other's fee wings or you fuck twelve you're a man in your thirty's in your fuckin tweet negative shit about your ex letting them i know how she would come home with regard to one shot the fuck you're so fuckin rising shut up you weak bitch you're the problem there you look at people getting a on twitter like really disgusting dude trolls rules but i would never i've never engaged i've never responded i never replied i don't fuck around like that if you say some negative me aren't block you i just i put my mom my memory bank you it's fucked up man one of the things that people are talking about when we are talking about this kid in santa barbara that one on this for killings break with him
rejected and this guy on this message board that i go to was talking about how we knew this kid in high school that was like that and he knew growing up in these just not a good looking guy and started out pretty normal but p were me nome and all this rejection like all throughout his life just constant state of rejection rejection fuckin people play i m just when ugly do and then he's was talking how by the time i got the high school the kids are getting dark and one of the girls in their high school track a girl died in a car accident and he was laughing and he was mocking her and they were like holy shit and that's when they realise like while disguise become a monster keys he's he's mocking this girl died as pre fascinating because here's the deal with a guy like this guy who's the santa barbara killer like he was a handsome kid like if you look at home is not an ugly kid by any stretch of the imagination was small whatever
does mean he's maybe get it looked twenty hinge cliff a small number tony's not also got a great personality in his larry as you know i mean people love em it's like be a tiny little person and girls are still like you this this i there's something obviously like really really wrong with him mentally but it got me thinking about like a person's looks like that's a mother fucker man like if you're born fucked up like if you ever did something deformed or if he does have weird skull you fucker face looks weird i your whole life people are gonna like it is a normal reaction that people have to use this new it's like it takes them a while to come up with the warmth but then immediate react nothing can be done about that that is a genetic mother fucker about like a lottery if you woman in your six foot three you know
three hundred pounds you fuckin heads enormous shit you know what theirs another that unlike in there just like however where they go this by no fault of their own they just got this wacky genetic fuckin role the dice club pellets cleft parts i mean the thought of my babies there's there's a where there's a organization called operation smile that i think that i've donated to in the past but i would do anything for because exactly what you're saying is what they fix what it's like a hundred oxygen you fix a cleft power on a child a child no why would anyone no one deserve to go through life looking may i just say but looking like a monster and if you have a cliff pouted pretty aggressive when i look at that not racist smile do that's fucking great place to prevent money going to send for my vote that you can fucking change person's life for ever by letting by giving them the surgeon
i think we're just starting to realise as race the human braces over the last x amount of hundred or thousand years start to realise that we have to take care of each other better sis it's like it's all there with his work we do with competition is well though when the competition comes up that some people get this fuck em attitude like this guy who was angry this at all these women in others this one the my friend online and talked about when you think about that guy like that almost like a guy was in competition kept losing over and over and over again and hated the competition a lot of ways is very similar you know the hated the other side he hated those human beings have gotta figure out a way to stop that like once we figure a way to work together and stop competing about shit like that but the problem is theirs gonna be people that have just massive unfair advantages and that's one of the things that this kid was talking about leg with it when he described men as brutes
saving girls just wanna have sex with big mouth about brutes you know like in his mind is like it could never be a brute he just was always shut out of that if a girl wanted that is like dammit i get didn't make any sense didn't make me sent you add that the fact that he's a fucking psycho and then boom whereas most people that are you know unfortunately built or unfortunate looking or how unfortunate genetics or whatever it is they just they just deal they have to deal and so the difference between a gala grind reynolds who walks in this world like on a fuckin magic carpet of gold you know it's beautiful man just ever you seem you smile babies smile and then you know fill in the blank figure out your mina now you're gonna be regular look a human being and that's why i believe it for my personality whatever
sure i know how to do to get people like me was because i didn't have the i didn't have the vulcan the jaw line maybe like we like one of my bodies had that leg of a body i wrote about book as my body jeff hardly he's like one of the fuck swinging guys confident fucking hands just everything about him just bigger and and he knows it and added i guess at a young age you realize worlds crews these are and you learn how to just be like you learn how to can fill the shoes and just and he's that's why i had to learn how to talk to checks like like not spit game but be like you don't be funny and i think a former personality yeah without doubt most funny due to finally because they had to make checks laugh yeah it's why good looking guys are not usually very funny we ve funding is vital but you do in a dude way darling arms while times are not even that you know it's like hot check so on a hot checks at a really good stand up didn't have to
how many hardships are really good zella twenty of them sumer yeah sure there's a few other once you other ones i always find wanted to explain our fucker well easy the numbers of learning about amy no i mean i always to asia telling me that i note i know i could have sex with her if i wanted to do and it really would always be you fucking out of your mind that's handling not utter we would do so rarely vice backers like you i could totally have sex with you and is using made and i know i know i can then you're my soft spot like i know where issues like no you really can and i groped amy trust me i could get you now what did she say this amusing amy's of i've known him for a very long time so you elated accompaniment of my wife by so like i m used to stay at our house when we go to on vacation we use our house and come out to allay and i think that's school or how fragile my sister's notion yeah so like when i did when i was on the road or falls over on the road and where are we were together should be
colleagues i was important times call she's like we're fuckin party tonight on a tour we're party and my wife's totally like four in the morning i'm in a hotel room with tumor and a bunch of you we don't know and my wife psych and tom i think she's like i'll call tell him you're said i tell keep her head on her shoulders his fuckin beer world makes you any kind of blew up all at once real quickly you know and so am i i've before that so you point is no fucking idea sometimes i talk and i find myself i can't stop speak you're kind of a rambling fella by their mr burke crusher that's what you do you know not too sure style of communicating yeah i talk a lot and quickly well then also like when you talk about quickly like anybody this entertaining like that like every now and then you gonna run into like a sentence that doesn't have an end
again so yea most amiable in that way like so yeah florida i was at the smoke bombs that use drop approach these people will tell stories do that way too much you know like if it's just hastily but in the art of storytelling when you ago yeah well so that's that's detroit for your previous unless it's really funny that's that's really something you should shy away from if you want people to pay attention your fuckin stories point the end would like the lesson here is some people are brutal man some people just give you fuckin ear beatings and never realize it they were there studio dana green room i step in and we're talking in the other guy we're talking for like two minutes and gone back and forth in
someone brings up some subjected this dude had some personal experience and then it becomes his show and so for the night five minutes he's telling this fucking long drawn out story and i can't take it more browser take anymore so i had to leave the room i got up and left i'm a little nervous you hope i didn't just slowly like moving over still am i gonna do this united a beat me down this in the end there was no point to a zero none and i knew it i knew it from half way into it it was all these details and it was just like always fuckin crime was i am against humanity i just got out of there like i'm not gonna be rude but i'm not gonna listen you can't make me listen to this bad ways green room that i'm the one is performing hearing was in performing their has stepped in and fuck and beat me down with the account whenever whenever it was crazy is that he thought like someone in that moment thinks after moment shine you know what it's not even that dude this is a problem of comedians some comedians they don't really
have conversations with you they just talk land sometimes they don't they don't absorb like what the other person san i give you you might tell your story about how you didn't know your girl had cerebral palsy because so drunk or that you might tell a story and they're just waiting to tell you about story about a better gerard girl or bad or better situation where they act up they just waiting you know they're like almost dunbar danbury dumber did not like you what economic questions where you like leading the way we didn't know she's there's no that that's like let me talk glamour geyser goddamn exhausting they're waiting for the moment where they hear the belike your turn that was this guy right yeah it was what you just need to be
it is like his hold hungary was just like i just wanted to go you need to edit it to throw in a little bit more interesting peaks and only that it is totally took over our conversation animals like seven people in them are there so many people in the room were like all of us had just like we had no other choice we were supposed to stare at this person i wasn't a good story it was brutal that's why have to limit your ear engagements to limit though the type of people communicate with miss crusher ever known then you gonna find someone who's a fuckin wipe out an ear beatings and they just stumble through they pull hamstringing they just don't tell you can't you're an ear the car person that would just goes yeah like like you too you know
allow people to take liberties with the of someone's ok do because they pursue but one alike on a grab your face you'd be like now starting to finance it only my guy grab my face why did you let him grabbing value what i know i'm not everyone come out to fill this we're gonna be like gloomy globally photo vase gonna happen no one idea that it's gonna happen for sure do your writing that down now opening up notes app on their phone i get railways s taking you take your shirt off here picture with his shirt off too get to be a right what is it what are you doing is giving my fucking are you taking a patient in the park ass you fuck jesus christ twenty it's late and stopped in the middle of partners take pictures lug fuckin loving fuck yeah i don't know where to draw lines will you do you just it is a nice guy you are people grab face do ass if he could pick me up once to let him know billina pick me up
why'd you do that brian here dr no don't you car service i've never driven avanti park as my light could move good move fuckin learn very young do a can opener on that thing this bad ass pocket knife open up with a knife that's how you bottles and with knives these days that's good why obsessed with knives and i think to cool you love knives twelve how would you know but i feel it coming like when you started getting an opponent and i was like there's a lot of shit i can afford to do that i've never thought about doing then i wouldn't when i was a kid i was like i told we are trying to make merrifield about it when he was like a toy my father was like there's a lot should i we're motorcycle criminals birth and he goes if you want a motorcycle dude fucking love motorcycles you're a reckless mother fucker burke cry you did everything you know you'd want a motorcycle to a little bit differently what does that mean like crashing and losing their legs powers not attractive to go and what jean
jimmy wants to get one was la mopeds ones of vespasian like that's even worse and worse and lose jamie if you want to be the next jamming even worse than that northern bikes that have motors on them the bicycles that i've motors autumn but like ok there's a bunch of shit i've wanted to do and i can i can afford to buy a cool knife now and then select them on the road like in brazil or summer a knife logo you know that remind me my trip and so by knives so your nightclub little bit he ever mike locked up behind it am the house to protect me jesus christ anyone ever bring i myself have a machete next my man gave what the fuck bird gonna machete people a gun what have you machete the wrong guy it's a surprise very early on your weighed down with this year of my big laid up and on pull out the machete my too late too late you have like like protocol like when the machete will come out its or rather with its just a kid is like a crack problem these break in
i still staring you gonna machete em up because miscarried you gotta machete em burma is not big what if you did smack around it was a little guy little tiny handcuff looking guy do trying to steal hysteria that fuckin the kids hold them down a collar gobs twenty look a shadow tony headscarves kanak that he's at scrawny the scares me why are kill arrest them how we acted stamina if you like start heave in the miller of prolonged battle you start fading he would turn term to heat on you and all the going he's going faster than saw ever go beat you have all those things you shake you shake up and see the snow knows little paperweight that's why he's gonna be michel and we are those oliver my fucking house there now you do we have that was no globes everywhere from all these different ways yet is it bites logos with a girl so ridiculous that's an old clothes ends and blades bargain all over the world plugin fbi's get a file on you about that thick have all over the world they
they're going to release a glenn greenwater said they're going to release a new shit this week and it's gonna be a list of all the people that the inner say with spying on all the americans they have full list of everyone and want to be honest imagine if you were all dude we are so blow so we're so close to everything being tape recorded are no no weeping tape record and i've been training or podcast one when people like when people start rico in each other private citizens start recording each other and not just the owner the clippers that's when it's gonna go just so you can get back i fired rice should have your boss once that goes that's the fuckin then everyone's gonna know but guitar can i talk to my chosen urban neither then he is like and he was asking me somethin and comparable with what is asking these payment or not according you and i was like the fact that he about it made me go fuck
don't blow you inasmuch as you say no cycle is just wanted to talk about something i don't wanna talk about it are weird and i was like its activities and also i'm good my tape according you but the fact that he said that i was like a shit people who fuckin strange man they're so strange you'll you'll meet people after shows and they just start hit newer like a barrage of questions what are you doing what we are you in a viewing me as a sick for your own like a do each you save all these questions are near ready throw em at me their people or tape recording everything at this point assume you're being too court assume every phone call you make every voice mail message leave every text message you leave assume all that shit is being recorded assume you better alive don't live your life like you're being typical live your life a good fellow
person whom as if it turns out that the government spying media his fucking here i just read something the other day where they emit that they are recording people that have like a large group of people you know they turn their voices heard from large group of people trying to find out i am a very public figures figures did you see thing that they urge this arose unnatural news dotcom see never no sight seems a little a law on the sketch not quite sure but the article was saying that they had fake vaccinations in the middle east they gave feed people fake vat the nations so they could collect dna so so yeah markings you fucking creepy like you you're getting away with something in another country that you could never get away with in america like that in a way is kind of dehumanizing because
imagine if they were doing that the united states in the ghetto like listen they went to compton or watts and they were doing this and they were getting these people too leave their being vaccines but really they would just withdrawing dna could you imagine the outrage had been saying but would be insane people go crazy why well because we're we're americans and we believe that we have certain mount rights and our government doesn't deserve to be extract our dna and lying to us like what our you are you a dictator or this is our u overlord or you are representative government this doesn't seem like a representative government if you're fuckin giving poor people fake but cave in another country she was the country somehow you just violet with an uneven americans their schumann's they're here beings you're given a fig vaccination see good if that is true and again i don't know if it is but if it is it's it's it's a practice it is all this time people
have found a way to demonize the others whether it's the people that their war with with us you know you look back at the horrific things the nazis did to the jews look at the horrific things the mongols did to all these different places where they conquered look it threw out human history every time a group been able to identify another group as the enemy they ve been able to do justify horrific things that's what happened this fuckin evil kid is evil kid in santa barbara that's what's happening right now these idiots is male right its idiots that are battling it with feminists online going back and forth these people that actually saying that this guy of girls fuck this guy he would have gone on his killings breaks fine they raise you can only say that if you're dealing with an us and them i say that if it's the enemy you know it's it's it's your thing that people do men this with its enemy thing they'll do fuck the phillies they'll do it with teams
who does your ideas tommy store about this guy that was there and it was football game and he was at our team this guy was wearing a jersey but he got got to fight these guys they stop but his leg they bring his leg in a stairwell they thought calm down and stamped his leg dr snapped is femur based there that in dodger stadium to the took a gathers a fan of the greater the beat him up bad days at that the scares me do not want to go to fighting to vent saw for sure but somebody tell me that use in a coma for like a week's yanks rain and you just want to a fucking with your kid you just route team around the wrong gruber drunk assholes and see that's where them the women have a real point because this not happening to men if you're running into women in running in the drawer women coming down our alleyway in their breaking your leg beaten the fuck are you strong men men and win
have to worry about it even more than men have to worry about it you know i didn't didn't know anything about the all all the women are what is it on all the women the one i just started reading of ashes all the women and i know new that point of view you know what happens with what these things that they become so polarizing you think both people fuckin totally crazy you lose the may subtle point they should be represented and that all the women you so and what i what i realise that you can have pointed out that i think is pretty brilliant and are really seen like a nobleman rape but all women can get raped like most of em realized run around be tough share her a bitch kill and right when you think you re open it is again try
old son shantytowns rape and yeah she's tells you to linger pussy right right when you go in for the kill slabs that china through you like do work out and the lights go out and georgie start seeing closing on that's what it's like logan choked out i know it gets too like it's like an elevator door i've been jerked out have you which up to fuck it hence our grace oh that's right you just angelo what was already over here is that what is called gilbert wurzburg hurt bert though what a ridiculous that no other way acts all fucked up may let people throwing around in a village stuntman proxy stuntman that's like being a stout man if you let it it was and so the churchyard moratorium hoary and horror on the other that the i found a raw founded the you see orient the he's the one either of hanner and here on the other those
for those goes to the what all their dog peterson they gave me i knife i trust rather brazilian by the way i gave you a nice after going to brazil hole shit man brazilian or like the fucking story stock of human in a world hard life over there for love folks it is also very active very there are always on the beach like we were watching a hotel room these fuckin surfers were incredible man me an where there are came down a wash suffice down there with me once and we were standing there are my balcony watch these kids serve we're also it was like you know times all fucked up like several hours in the future three or four times ahead of i think it's ahead of york near i'm like six hours whatever it was i was all whacked out so is like five o clock in the morning we're still up in this was up like five six whatever it was awesome as people start showing up at the beach i kids and adults
foot flops in everybody's hang now how are these people are active like start run by six joggers and shit like these greeley act people can also soccer game broke out so it's like seven o clock in the morning we drink coffee and watching people play soccer on the beach this is this is an issue of yours so much more active than the average americans you know the people here fuckin super sedentary man i am to pursue the common more common than not right to think whether my whole thing now is like a five my weight set up in my back yard so i go if i'm fuckin if i say if i get in like a little weird funk fuck it let's wait i know for a fact that like lifting waits to the four point we urge your teacher off higher that releases from serotonin your body he should be a doctor naturally a meme lifting wait until your tits were fired i know that releases and territorial body per crisis you holding your teeth jessica heavy a great
means not mean gifts you tell me to give nobody giff is now your files that's a great way to fuck cover sports on the internet like you you posted something about them yeah you know it was wasn't that i posted somethin take when it was there was a thing on fight land or someone broke down edinburgh guy named jack slack it's how tee a delicious killed the king and its on fighting it's one of the young the vice channels and vice this guide did a great job of breaking down like the technical aspects of edinburgh style and how our tv delos i was able to exploit it doing so use these animated gifts as as examples of different specific moments in fight where things changed and what tee did well and what had amber out did wrong he's really good at breakin things down that's
that's also therein coots with you have see that's why they're allowed users animated give files but there is a greater cover its great fantastic i'm glad they can but other p what other sites like if you try to put up animated give files though your pistol you yeah they don't want animated give files did you although this earthly may whether tee i fight i saw some shit on online like somebody you know four millisecond again can i could show you bitch turning to you know if you want to get a fight with four may whether in your wrapper good good luck with all that all this chair throwin would sell stopped a nonsense and realise that you're not gonna get into fucking fight with one of the greatest boxes is ever walked the face the at the world could we we disagree on that you just and ok if there's no one here but you and hammer you're both in a room with no objects just your bodies let's start through both fucking millionaires and their water murdered legality
get hungry people in hungary static but you're so high profile and you're floyd may what will you do likes burgers he's purvis our time it's like part of his thing i d you know billy driving around his batley and be a jack in the box brilliant idea tee i can take on four may well i guess i didn't hear you posted a video wait a minute this house the video like working out or something that was his his it's about his dumplings black eyes silly a black eyes these any didn't all that happened as he heard his hand in his hand wrapped i think but i think the threat is the ti's posses gonna shoot to may whether or not it they're gonna fistfight because he said he that i may weather said to him in this interaction was i think maybe you forgot differ living bright i fight and tea i said i i fight but in streets i for real and so i think that a veiled threat of i fight
but we do it and we kill you i we really analyzing the tea i flew anywhere discussion and higher who got the most out of their verbal exchange floyd made a very good point that tee i forgot what he does for a living but what floyd forgot his tea i keeps it real fucking in the trap he's from the streets and he still connected to those streets suppress with tiny whose time his fluid tunnies tears wife schneider really that hot but their fuckin fighting over two fuckin millionaires why impress their idiots currently the whole thing so stupid ever she's not there judges in whatever that's all it is it's a ego thing it's ridiculous yeah yeah dolphins ridiculous how dare you talk about it for so long i'm disgusted disgusted by the house area i'm done thank you joe who's the cook brothers when what is there
cocoa brother matters like we talk about before bait super rich doozy don't wanna talk about an ipod cassa they will come fuck you about that now they they just fuck the columbus zoo up in how they forgot the columbus you know that the best stephen cupboard did it really quick blurb about it and he explains a perfectly but pretty much what they do is they there is big valley on the eye on the latest vote that hey we need to make money or art zoos gonna closed down so we're gonna raise property tax by just a teeny tiny bit and that the cook brothers were like yours you're gonna go up like a hundred and five percent near your property taxes when in reality it was only to be twenty but all the voters voted against it and now the zoos like we're fucked me i mean that so they lied about how much the problem you have actually go oh yeah and this is like one of the number one number two zoos and in the nation and now therefore that you now jack handouts from zoos are weird man because
i agree with him with certain animals but most animals in the zoo i think zoos i think the only way should really be able to have a zoo and be able to predict pretended its humane is due at the way they do in africa but don't have people huntin in africa the reason why they have so many goddamn animals now because they have these huge preserves thousands and thousands of acres these animals run free but they do it so they could profit offer they bring in hundreds and hundreds hunt these while there so they think they're on a wild animal hotly caught technically or on a wild animal but really these it's a cage type these animal mean they are putting lions but those lines are gone anywhere you know it's like it's a very sketchy area when it comes to warm people to believe and fair chase hunting like the africa things i fucker because other problem is they do preserve those populations this way it that no one is trying to keep the eland alive no you know no one is working hard to make sure that all these different versions of
antelope or in healthy populations if it wasn't for these hunters but it gets it gets real weird when you start thinking about like zoo whose because war ok what's a zoo we only have like a couple of amusement two giraffes or three giraffes young couple everybody breathe from everybody and you're all honest we non natural environment where nobody can move around opposed like a giant animal park we could drive through but i you gotta let nature take its course in that motherfucker you gonna have monkeys swinging through the trees above jaguars you gotta have you got giraffes runnin away from lions you gonna have the whole thing if you don't have the whole thing what are you doing you're taking these animals you're deciding that their reality their nature itself is now humane like it's not right son resume seem very dated now you say that this is a throw those that authorities it's from one people didn't have dvds they didn't have the answer
planet they didn't have any these things were they go and watch a show on species and watch a fascinating documentary uk you only to see it would be to go see it and lively galdeazun daddy look at the elephant lie you would never see a lion if you didn't see it in a zoo in the fuckin in the thirties absolutely i'm pretty i think that a lot of people are getting like the sea worlds shit mixed up with like zoos because i am i think that's why everyone didn't know that sea road kidnapped these they thought the all these were taken here because they were injured more than zero like i wasn't a senate sent diego zuzu one of the best suits and the nations in the egg and they have this whole thing we did the tour this time and they had this whole thing that you could tell it's almost them getting ready for them that their version of black fish that's coming up because they were already talking like look we hate animals engage gossip but we are non profit we busy animals are here recently to left in the road we thought this animal was extinct in nineteen sixty
the last time we saw this and this one kind of pig or whatever it was he's like he's like now there's twenty of them because we take them here we breathe and then we put him back in the wild now i don't think they put him in africa the private put in some reno baby version i do put in africa they put him in these wildlife sanctuaries gigantic places where they let people hunt them they just don't let em hunt that pig that's right i do but it was it was very eye opening for this this when i went to this one they were showing us all the work they have done like like there would like only to these birds now there's two hundred and every animal on there like they're endangered whether their level of endangerment now there's like monkeys like some monkeys billion at these monkeys so they don't give a shit you know but most of those animals in there are only and therefore reason because our injured or whatever and in their getting put back in the wild and that's why we would like these cook coke brother things you know we're there completely lying there
there are all these animals are screwed these animals this is one of the best suits in the nation that they have taken care of so many in the white lie in early i think it was the king you know with endanger white line that they had their job line on your back in the day and but check this one clip out this is how fucked up this thing is what the columbia zoo and tell these guys we're ensures that the other three limbs of madame immunology blocked refuting this is our male or warned listen there's gonna be a massive one hundred five percent increase on property taxes one hundred five percent that is a scary number way scarier than the actual increase zero point seventy six percent or about twenty three dollars for the median homeowner and all you get free or twenty three bucks one of the best zoos in amerika for that kind of money you can buy your own copy
madagascar on dvd nation the corpse victory against the columbia zoo tax shows their willing to play hardball even when they play small ball wilder as the ohio director of americans for prosperity said there is nothing we won't do nothing there is no children's field trip too small for these two men to ruin their necks campaign is banned in sharp straws to protect our precious jewel box reserves were not done fighting this vote because the columbia zoo promises to try again as soon as november while we the colbert report are not waiting until november we produced our one issue add that we're to sell the cope brothers were a billion dollar jim
the columbus zoo wants more of your money but where does that money go housing for foreigners sex be governments subsidized lama don't share our genes and they don't share our values is actually paid for by americans for prosperity some areas that so funny in it so true what did so why did they want their property whether they want to do that you know i don't know anything about that i just found out about this the other davis took those talking about how the zoo is such a great thing growing up
lose it totally i i don't know they have tone of embryos by their also fucked till november and i don't have a growing up i went to summer camp at the zoo and jack hannah was our camp leader and we would like spend the night at the zoo in it it was just the best childhood memory ever learning about animal as being at the zoo you now and it's really stocks that zoos eric getting kind of attached to this whole black fish see rural bullshit cause it's really once making profit ones trying to make profit office thorny animals from the water once just trying to help him we are are zeus more non profit organisations most of them are well the p the issue of people that have an issue with zoos have an issue with the conditions they have an issue like there was a zoo that i was driving limos once and i was coming home from a gig had dropped from often new hampshire and i was driving down and there was a zoo and just of on a lark i just said
let me see what the looks like and i went to this little tiny zoom in their there is lion and a bear and the lion it was the saddest fuckin thing ever this line was pacing back and forth this tiny little enclosure and is nowhere to go just pacing back and forth was all concrete and it's like little pon form and i say this the saddest shit i've ever seen this thesis pace can't go anywhere it's in a kick it doesn't get to kill anything doesn't get to be a line does need to be aligned is patient back and forth back and forth and achievement thinking like how is that better than it not being alive i guess not but what you so we can look at it so it's it's it's better than not be another think should be dead it's better on being dead and living like that that's crazy or let the mother fucker bring it back to africa put it if you really give a shit about lines set up cameras set up can't we're gonna make people go there on safari
many people drive around see the actual real thing you know maybe you really get an appreciation for what it's like to live in africa we actually see them in a wild conditions do you see like but san is huge thing about that animal part through a dope is that they have big enclosures underwear with a giraffes our holy shit in it using safari place drive around as was the zoo yet but they also supporting and unethical thing is they ought to do a lot of alternative methods to make the animals like a crazy like they hide the food they d take the animals out they'll go round hide neat and like trees and bushes and put it in side of things and then at the animals just like their natural habitat look and hunt for food so there's a lot of things that they do like the elephants have these new things that they created that happened yacht and its these huge periodic with hay and sight of him so the elephant has to work out and try to beat them
things open ok so there's a zoo and there's a wild animal park which to urgent things that's what it is now too i've only been while the zoo is whore mongers everything that wild animal carcasses zoos crazy you're both robo yet and elegant is a bad the alternative ways to keep them unoccupied that you would come but they ve worked area like hey guys one of our trainer up it would mean we're gonna give lion saving heavily should lead animals garner the animals kill em so ridiculous that they they have but you're the animal levy this lake on what are you doing an ally and be a lion that's it that's the saddest isn't ethics it is just like the same as what we're talking about in school kids got a little bit of a fuck work and all the sudden laguna enough in the form what about this would have a gaze men up hill where they give upheld it made the common your calls dry up but it kept you horny you know
that wouldn't be acceptable like well look we checked his balls is very little commentaries research work but the balls donna that's what it's like to be a line and get fed meet this eating meat under the door so every day you're eating billing getting kill shit today and so you get this thing where everything the moose past you you look at you ball of yarn passed a lion they jump on judges a cat does it's like they have an instinct cats turning to chase movie think so alliance it's part of whether a lion it's like their hold worldwide system there genetic reward system is geared up to fuck and to chase in a car dominate and the whole deal that's all suppose we apart the males both to protect the pack what are their pride rather the female was the hunter they have instincts to do these things and all that thanks you just completely shut off and there in this enclosure with nothing else but then and every now and then some food comes in here ok here's our food food
working life is this it's a life completely outside of the adventure of being a lion the advance you're being a line is the adventure being a predator that's the the thing about being a lie and that their whole existence is based on chasing down the weak developed the cleaning system and legged there making sure that the genetics of the wild stay strong they like the genetics integrity experts anybody its weak anybody we have been anybody's slip and indeed by the gets cocky and goals near the water hole without paying attention to the grass moving your veil and that's how nature as it set up to make sure there's not too many fuckin antelopes they have all system we come along go fuck your system we have a system to called the zoo and this is the fence and this the tray and on its meet here go eat it we're just area you stare at me during a lion is unheard of imaginary
fuckin lion and there's glass and all these little pink monkeys had the audacity to look you in the fuckin i like this all day everybody avoid your eye contact in the jungle all you want your walk around like a fuckin all monitor caesar like get the fuck away and then lay down there carefully with them is below for those poor folk in lyons lion of a lion is walking through the grass and something locks eyes with delight that's the any immediate reaction you see those eyes those fucking weird orange amber eyes attacks this giant fuckin skull of death it is one immediately one get with the pack they get the slow one behind you fuckin trip your friend run it's a lie in but meanwhile the zoo look he's right there mom look he's right there knock knock knock knock knock what they should do
take those old zoos that are kind of like haggard and they fill it with like celebrities likes various economic saint downsized wears a mass but given booze now growl and put him in a cage and let you stared him in him just say whatever the fuck you once because he's getting paid a million dollars for one year to be in a k a song of mine when it was then you worked for them in the new york at the new york so you did that move knows and mass choose attitude we actually did it zoo that is is not in itself operational right now it's kind of going under incidentally celebrities fellow with fuckin all sweetie that that idea sucks why it's better than earlier which was we just put cages in a wild and you can go in the wild and to have those animals around you yeah that's a better idea because when i go i went swimming was charged with my daughter's caboose visco away how lovely fucking love it so what
do you go actually in scuba gear under the sharks ready to begin it day you data take alec three miles at all it's all like eco friendly get all feed the sharks but the sharks just come out because that's where they think they're fishermen dropping bait so that they go out and then you get you get in case they pull abode weighing you send in a cage just in the boats like thirty yards away from you we urge way from you and sharks there's least twenty fucking sharks thirty sharks i've done this one place like five times what part of the wise awhile who awhile back an amazing so what is it like four kids they were scared at first but what was i just told the guys who ran about why new tried done it for tv autonomous you'd be in charge dollar i would say no just being charged this is how we do it geyser ogier masculine grab him ask everyone get your mask i'll get him ask and so there's no
point right where they can get out of it by talking to makes a new they wanted to do it by new they're gonna be scared and i would lead i would never let them do something they weren't didn't we'll save doing right but the guys did it in the girls were just wrote their like ok he's a guy this put right here this fort right here here we go and then we're gonna back into the cage ego earlier first georgia morgiana kids and i get them and their like hold non and you can see scared i gotta go programme and are fulfilled all the yes when i was a u em but you could how only seventy nine why that's fascinating and that's really cool and they fuckin loved it the first looking at sea she scared i'll put her face in the water and then pops up just call on the go pro and she so excited she throws or face right i wanted to look again and they were they were babbling they had so much fuckin phone while
you feel safe and you can really see sharks on the wilds gotta be pretty wild beated cease out like a neuron the cage for the offers time in their lives there the one the cave and the cages a pretty safe right emerges as a giant ass fucking great white to fuck that cage up or is it just in the movies no you know so crazy we get out of the cage and a whale to wales come by ocean big ass fuckin wheels like maybe twenty feet off the boat i got some video to point you talked about swim around the back and dive right by the cage and i could through my go pro in one of the guys grabbed it scattered whales going down and it was serene it was crazy is you think if those whales aside they could just fucking jump up a lamp on the boat the cage and we're all dead as falk doesn't ever happened beer it happened with this about in australia a whale just jumped up a minimal sailboat know where would you brian is his eye birds i would trip trip we do it that's the cage same proved that we don't untruthful buddha twice and i love it so much because it those moments where you re
had this kind of surreal life experience would take when a church in getting it while the lot of fuckin fun yeah scuba diving seem so you'd be crazy to just go and you ve done that right of asking us for triplets near but i'm not certified i've done it i do you like do day certification it's like entering into just the very front patty of another world in outside cages is open the front door you stare you look around you can go in what steps but it's a whole other world out there there's a lot the things that have done on a show that i've that are our minds like run motorcycles odin ever done that if one for the show but now do it is sharing in the world in our democratic and of course i am but that's what makes it we could get like a big harley type bike drives loud you crazy and only drive in populated areas that's what they say
a lot of traffic sunday some might young leaving the communist or lessening one of those like those crazy for by four motorcycle big motorcycle dvd like it like it i like dm acts yeah like what's that one lucy drive and think when those once it's almost looks like a has training wheels but it's a motorcycle yea like a trick trick i know what i was gonna tell you what did you knows weird thing be grown up before we played bow and arrows what do i tell you this we're in hawaii we live on a boar hunt in hawaii where we chaser with dogs and establish trip for particular below that's a crazy fuck and trip was angry voices at someone's idea the guy's idea knows our idea i was your idea for them yes are you gonna go murder and animal yeah murdered gonna run by them and be like you cool with this i'm never going someone a situation that they work or that we just want to done it right but its it look it's it's i believe this if you're gonna enjoy begging you baby
with the harvest i believe that yeah and so on so we gotta go thing the peoples and we go catch a pig down my guide grabs a knife stabs in the heart some when i did they tied up the tide of feet and legs together like that wrists and the ankles together and i would like a backpack care in and out of the woods vulcan heavy ass pitch but the best part is that i know and i know it can fuck row the bone marrow pretty easily in and be okay so well with all these real fucking hawaiian hunters and thereby everything they got and they ve got in their backyard this huge pass it got the hay bales with the target and i said i bet anyone the crew right now i can get close to balls i i can hit the target from like the huggin not a hundred yards but like fifty yards under the tent so i can do
under the tentative big fuckin dna and only when there's a tent and you're gonna shoot from under the tent out through the tent into the fucking balls i and how are you gonna do that just by shooting wait a minute what kind of a boy you talkin about comparable and its fifty yards it's gonna go i'm guessing on new united ballpark right now don't member are you looking through a site that while there is a side on that there was a sight on this should have a peep site on a string and then another side the aligning the side up with it was it was the it was there there was a site i know what's anyone's book but in my head i might add incomparably do without a site like because i've here the bulls i from fifty notables i by setting it hit the target species hard to do really hard to do by now i can do it so mike i go whose in and i was in everyone's like bullshit bullshit i get one of the fat content i pull back i hold it and as soon as i pulled back once you pull compound bobo
it's easy to hold as i hold it s our line at the sight seeing lucky as bach the target not like party music going over candidates but everyone on the crews like shut the fuck up so then the crew try to do it they could in maputo compound go back like they were they were like a picture pose an erroneous grim while nobody eric trying to pull the ball back and he could and get another way back how many pounds of poland is one of the guys is pretty pose a pre have evolved very difficult to hit a targeted fifty yards officiating maybe longer i may be exaggerating for four but i this is very difficult to know where the pins go cloak if you would have to if you have a pen on about two different types of pain is a single pen and a single pen you rotate forward and backward with this site this so the site has yardage on it so i guess have it set at twenty yards twenty yards is like were like maybe
shorty shot would be like saviour and trieste it was larger than he is longer than twenty or so then if it's longer what you do is you put us like a laser site on it you ll work on how far it is the exact distance i was drawing fifty are and i was drunk then you dial it back put my point is that an error when you shoot should now like fifty yards it's got dropped considerably specially to your mom how strong the boughs how heavy the airways is very the main argument is yours but it was definitely further forest shut ok and so you see you feel like you could do it again we do not come on matters which i do not know about you i'd it's so funny they gonna mega video those we i told you we when we were kids we should do with our feet like that was our big things out because we want to accomplish all boner recurved bow salary was i regular bow and arrow we did we compound around one a compound bow we did we weren't dear we went hunting in italy with bows but the ones you gonna hold the arrows
the boat sideways it was like some bows just like a damn it man i wish smarter and paid attention more oh i know what you're saying because they don't have arrested on a rash sideways and shoot the bowe that were like that the way the mongols you do it right and i never shall one of those both of cocky then too and i was like i got this global bows and arrows and a fuckin pulled back and i fucking could not hit this goddamn it finally i tried like not it's not an easy thing to do men rather regular bow regular bowser hardest shit compound buzzer little more user friendly and open way easier to ways here that's why they say that if you really want to learn about an area should learn on traditional recurved yeah it's because becomes like no you if you shoot a three pointer in you cannot get it you'd be throat a few times in uk a judge of how hard you have to throw it you eventually you get you figured out well that's the whole the behind a recurved is that you gotta think
how far that arrows call what's gonna be the trajectory and if you shoot hundred hours a day over the course of years you develop a real feel for it some guys like i bought my bow at this place in los alamos us and the guy who owns it spent shooting bows and arrows through a kid uneasiness paulinus sixties and he just picked up this bow slapped an arrow and i mean lemme tell you like within like fibres six seconds from picking the bow putting the air on he had let go and nail the target and his balls i a twenty yards i mean there was little like des click click it took does no time at all just so he's like when you shot as many areas as i have you just kind of know where the arrows gonna go just based on the numbers like the input i give you throw hundred free throws it kind of get idea of how hard you have throw that free throw you shoot hundred hours you go oh that's over there you you're your brain alma
has like calculators fourthly distant like i give you throw rock you gotta know i thought you know if i gave you a rock in the rock is like the size of a golf ball i think i could throw it over there can have a good idea where this rocks gallons muslim rita definitely what's in its input it's like you get enough and you shoot always arrows i dont want there thou there this guy and he starts calculating and up in your brain and then your mind knows exactly how high you should raise that arrow you know so that eighty compensates for the distance it s travel in the drop that can have over the course of time but with a compound bo you don't do that much he do the site i want to say it was a green laser on it but i can remember who being there they have this thing tragically has won it looks like a green laser but it's really like a triangle when you wrote it for them awkward depending on how the distances deja vu totally take you if you want your boy in wine it's time we was on i but
if i go who eyes with my family and on our common home bloody do certain things i separated my manly type behaviors really separated from my little girls and altogether i want them to see me fuckin stab bore with a knife for dogs are wholly a town what are you doing them up they are banned if they saw real wild pig though they probably completely freaked out because like thought here to them are these cute things they did see but we took him to worm theirs farm up in southern california forget the name the farm but you go there it's like they could pick your own version and you can you can now they weigh them for you like you pick radishes and whatever in its fun kids get to that end but they also have this fucking pig that's how big is this table do i mean is the biggest pig you ve ever seen your life it's just gigantic this huge thing and they twig out on that thing like why
fact is that they think of a pig is being cute little pig like they have stuffed piggies you know one why does a piggy backpack that she wears and deny them it is a good thing to pay me and then this is again while allowing mud covered beumer this enormous pig itself fucking egg and they would he's down like that's a pig but now it's not that's all pig will i get it it's not pink pigs are pink than our pig like what you see the little faces a little computer spinner thats a fuckin pig mean things this big around that fact avenant mugs justice it is a discussing but if you see a wild when they're even more gangster then ordered it dont case good while one while original taste you're out of your mind what they told us they dont dollars an anybody there delicious ike i shot a pig and weighed ham and it's the best hammer
ever had in my life zeus locked it over to where we stand hours anomaly hours it took isn't there a truth to the fact that what the pig eat your than eating so if its living off like fucking chile vegetation it's gonna take shitty because they were telling us the pig normally when they can catch the peg and then no put it and keep it and feed it good wording logs on this topic in the pig family well yeah you can do that definite can do that and some guys do that or to get the pig fatter like some of the wild pigs honest fat the while good i shot those add to hone ranch which is like rich in a corner and all these different things at the pace to eat it was fat and was delicious it was so good man i smell it and one of those smokers and i brine did for like six days before smoked it brian nato yet that was to summon the best meter ever had him i really yeah delicious if i had to choose one meet that i've ever had ever that would be the one that shows as the best means
this they told someone we killed the rights of minorities are great their idiots yet are taken at home and eating it they don't know what they're doing either that yeah that's probably i found out that that was true about marlon you catch him in it i tell you need these in me y yeah you can eat morland it's like swordfish shabata mistakes but when you it's a racket when you pay for someone to take a fishing or pay for someone take a hunting sometimes they want that meet not killing and want to meet due to bad meet real it's ok it's bad me wild pig is some of the most delicious meet you every in your life without a doubt i can say that with a hundred percent coverage because i haven't just eaten this pig i ve other people's pigs their shot it's fuckin fantastic doing that's just hawaiian then no mt i know these town you they're bullshitting you hawaiians are famous for lou aus what look at loo ass pigs why they could pigs because that's what they hunt
they have wild pigs oliver hawaii it's one of the few animals that they brought over with them when people com why a few animals they they let loose and they became pharaoh they have dear they have so give access here are some of the islands have some mountain goats in some places lady maybe i miss they masilo today five do they fucked you and they still you pig we we were going to take it home well that's why i need any of it i didn't want you to bring it back to the restaurant approach sell it though they were good guys on there guys you're on tv whatever i love you may you be giving that fucking pig did he tell you pig brows no big deal delay this man deliberately different there's a lot of animals that people will tell you that it is good to eat like never want to keep pete keeps coming up his black bear like someone got mad at my friend cameron haines i put posted this video of him i'll shoot a blackberry with a boner people that's fucking horrible that's disgusting they dont
those they taste like shit is always people saying they taste terrible i've had blackberry taste delicious it is weird definite is different like you cut it was no your eaten a bare artistic a bare different tastes but it good i'll give you a ride elk delicious bounds really fucking do no green and elk like when you re now you like this is different it's kind of crazy that's like that while pig that didn't like anything else right now a duchess tasted dantes i can't you give tasted cigarette in order for guarantees cigar lately stopped him it is like a cardiac meant had already asked me a dip that's gonna you're on the upper mood different berries reluctant you so it's one when i get my nose fixed whose like flies and reluctant pair tightened the bare baghdad jogging in shit just taken a mother i wasn't doing so well deserves much money for food now agony whatever the fuck
what have you ever see the pictures of him when he was in high school now he look a male model i swear to god i swear to god he too then some picture i dont know what it was but it was he looked a male model as i find do so fucking funny if i do and i love her out that guy we just did the calmly magic club together couple weeks ago last week or so funny do man thompson girl he was the only guy and all the people that are one of the maxim calmly tour with that i really state friends with like out of the gas it opened himself runs a troll murphy and half round but there's like we had twenty two different openers but one of em stood out must secure do you remember any of the other ones mcdermott no no no no no no josh mcdermott opened up for us in phoenix when he would he did a competition and that was a fine for it was one of the joe ideas missing in action videos ideas fuck and vanish like a fuckin p w in nam
then get any words where fuck you was are bringing two guys in the road of me for that very reason and that was one of those times with joey had vanished joey vanished and we couldn't get a hold of him so who as it was mcdermott who else was duncan harare ari a shed mattie kirsch was along ass comical might have been who knows who was but it where was we are to get someone and we were there the night before added to radio and watch this local contest and josh mcdermott we need to live in a phoenix of time is fuckin hilarious and so now is on the walking dead it's crazy are you shitting me while these are super smart scientist student walking dead you fucking now that dude he hated the bike ass before he did the progress in ice has grown but dude model for what's so there's five or six five or six jesus christ josh mcdermott's good do
you gotta get him on the podcast posts that show and have him come and talk about it i've been trying he's going to send as i mean they therefore we fell in like crazy mean that shows downs that means are filled with the next season fact doing while o shows man that's the rest of your life when you do a show like that like those joe though shows they take sixteen hours a day to film if you hear her that clang of jack daniels jar tell him i'm celebrating goes yours over and celebrated phenomenon hundreds in all its fine i'm an accomplice author i have a blog my never your liver livers good it's on the other side of my body had been hurting in all gimme swear you that mr pressure is it is whisky or mean liquor is on your big with ever go to your like aid to kill a phase or you get their phases armoury only do vodka like we're happening the machine back oh by the way it's fuckin dead how is it that you spoke stake my life what happened just in
i'm your man in and moral happening somewhere here this and i appreciate everyone who helped out thank you everyone i know you're a big fan of jos podcast it just it didn't it two racket it's you can understand why it's a family run businesses that need think it and it's like a country club and so will you what is it like no one wanted to deliver business and it just is really expensive has puff daddy get in their honestly you could problem we do it you could probably do it yeah but to be me and do it is impossible like oh i won the first no i told you about was really great i was a great fuckin investment i thought what was his travel size vodka pouches member well you got no one really easy stamford face on the cover do these travel pouches the great for somebody put him in your drinks in and it really cheap the problem is there like ok we want twenty thousand dollars and you should and will be ready to be picked up on thursday and i was like ok
the money but even my shipment and there like will europe it happened and you need to store it somewhere and then you need to sell it out somewhere else i knew how to do the whole thing here and smells like i've kit s not what i wanted to do what did you want to do that you wanted to put your name on it and they deal with everything i wanted uses damp my name on it help promote it can happen you could just nunez need to get with better company right jeremy can do it you can do it why can it have i've tried four times and every time it is the exact same thing is you need like some managerial type people take care that shit for you after i have drawn on your own i'm doing an amount when my with my wife and year out just a fuckin nightmare all due respect to you and your wife you not you not in the business now begun should get someone who knows how to do it we did when there was a guy there came out important really nice and new came and that would mean is like i heard that you want to start a bucket through jos podcast let me do this and it became an we had a big fuckin tasting we selected our brand brown we liked it i got fuckin everyone
i mean everyone was then we did a tasting at my house everyone tried it everyone like these actually one great let's go on there like quarter million dollars and what how are you gonna distributed target won't although you have to give him a quarter million dollars not him he'd he was doing it this guy was the quota should remember his name he was really cool he just set me up and it was like i don't want i don't need a piece of it i want i like jos podcast i like you i think this would be a good thing for you are such of the people and as soon as it he d moved out of it the people we want you ve gotta pay all this fuckin money like i just want you to stamp on the intellect ass i don't happen so it's like it so it's a scam so ask it is kind of a scam there there but they want you to take all the risks that are really want to be in business with you right what they'll do is they'll be your distributor they'll make your new maybe there s or your manufacture domain if i were they'll make your whiskey and then you gotta figure out how to get in the stores right and so if just was like a fuckin outside i'm done that's his work
such a penny i said i and i can you get so excited because it gets so close and then it just false port elegant fog it yeah it indeed theirs websites that actually you know do you like we can start your own brand of lichen vodka or a whiskey stuff like there's there's so much more to this than anonymous sharing with you apparently your label needs to be approved by the fda like so it's it's can't be a simple is just being on a website i only say that because we got to the places where it got really difficult and i was a fake with our time simply drag on you at man i'm gonna do a fuckin after i'm done with this book and i'm going back on the road i'm goin bill birstall and i'm scrapping fuckin material because i feel like i've i feel like i've been treading water artistically and not me forward so make sense yeah you don't eat alteration i'd out into a special my private non specialists long problem is i write a little stage so i always have like twenty men
the new stuff every night right we're gonna fuckin around a figure things out but like i got i guess i got caught until ever caught telling the machine story do you know the machine story at all was near and i get it i told you them to hearing that they paid for the tickets do you write right d sit down from the computer debit the book and with the book i found it my writing got exponentially better and tighter yeah like and i was like holy shit i'm dealing with them sk i wouldn't got into like the machine story at all that in the book is to rule like i talk about the dude i'm telling you about this but like a shortened it first age there's another dude with me the whole night i really kind of got into the boat you got the money into the country to pay off the mafia and i view academic why wouldn't i talked about this not stated before right so writing really does with the process of riding on stage and it just makes it better yeah sure writing is everything in a plan of the apes remember lester
i find that being a pike s help me do like do my part i sell me right material just in since you come up with a thought and you're gonna fucking funny do do this do you like this is mine over the last few months we have these legal paths i leave around here for the gas from me anytime something that you can't you know you gotta remember you gotta go back to it later i just right shit down these things i just started taking my sets i started recently the accident like if i take that i don't feel creative i feel like i'm not going to talk of our work on material tat i now say just they bury said then it becomes norm i know i'm gone the problem is i don't listen to him a lot less is something really genius happens but you have it look i have a hundred fuckin plus set some i on my phone at all times at any given time like this at any given time these are all different commie sets where do you joe you that's it you're going out of the side of support on the stool whither as hundred desserts man i think every comic
nowadays on your phone how are you going you you every seldom what when i was young there are today by the way that i understand that i'm setting myself up to be slammed on this there to die like all easy that i tat can help it like it it's fuckin miss hanging out like this thought there were two deaths comics there were the guys tape quarters all stage and then though the black comics i liked the black comics lay i gaps microbes grassy tracy morgan i know that meet him may never be friends mike s tracing morgan dish belt only woods were the guys i never party with david spell by party a party with apps and a party with tony and an hung out with chapelle one night like but not nothing big brown but i'd watch
stage and it was like they were creating in the moment greer born to memory of offshore greece larry falcon monks i did a lot of road gigs greer he is one of the best comics i've ever seen all states dude man i was always shocked that guided become famous me too there's a few of those guys the regiment crowd and is another wire talk about all the time to remember that i dont understand a regiment fattened when we were living in new york thousand new or shall i like ninety two or someone dinosaur regiment fad nedda black comedy covering all black make love in mount vernon call the champagne comedy club i can never work it because it yet to be squeaky clean exude how these rules no motherfuckers dancing no mother no motherfuckers they don't say that had a big ass said the girl had a wife behind like you would give you these things the way you described things while never work in this place but at least i can go with my friend my friend was workin there and he was working with regiment fattened and register store
destroyed a member watch him go and while this kid is talented and i'm ever think in you now my early twenties decibels like twenty three twenty four some like that i was thinking man is so cool like to be a part of like this scene in vienna be around these comedians narrow gonna be issued some day someone for what are twenty woods someone i don't get it tony words not gigantic moment twenty would find out larry s when i was coming up till we came to the dc improbable night i wish why don't people take these moments tony woods comes a decent problem night sold out beautiful beautiful any human back aren't you tell that tracy morgan story i said who is that in the matter
thought you wanted to people's either tony was a trade mark rights right right and i said is that tony blair tell this story tell your story that night and i went i everyone the guy that was there with me that nice tony woods he's in the room i should tell you want you do this while we come up stage you come up you tell your side of the story i tell myself storm will see where the two middles meet he's like that's what i want think so you another two goals that we have to make and we told a story and it's amazing to hear his argument that oh yeah gonna fuckin stage i told and i could because one of my favorite things is i don't remember remember anything bow i wanted to know if tony remembered the end that night the exact same way with that in mind i gotta have billboard closer so i said to him i said i said and his on the ground and tony emma bertone set out something is what we can do it
the tracy morgan man who's gonna ruin on career bird i go in many stood up and i look to tony any job i mean identical goes he snapped issue they look here and now that are you pay in the czech and walked away and i was like fucking was i glonass injury you got proven that you didn't lie right i was young i fucking knew it on facebook to people that now obviously the bush without the people they were involved in the russian train story of all heard about it replying like i was there a hundred and true that's even when you hear you like i fucking know it like an you know you're telling the truth but you'd is just as a comic like you said your imagination takes over and you try to get the laugh and are now yes it's it's weird when you go back and think about those dude like regiment fattened so like regiment and the story may not be accurate but this will remember it read you a family jerry castillo showcase
now the line is be lean oh no who says that biting his bury son and regiment fang goes up all stages first joke is limited why you never spoke these pussy then really like i bear look i've bugging you fuck knows what reggie maghreb upset by remembering can clean is sealed it seemed it seemed fuckin and he talked about if you're the first part and he stripper pussy you don't you the first person needs to propose it at night right near the fifth person and you really like it was a joke but that was the whole fucking premise and am are burying them but wringing his hands like i find you i said a word clean committed more clean work clinging is also tube greer barnes mastered member was hans remember guy at a joke about the jamaican subway shooting no privilege making guarding went along on expressway the rifle yes do member that you remember the joke not one of those murders shows ever seen
wish i could member than france france was his name i feel like i was out of new york by mines in france i think i was already an ally black dude i'm emily first came to allay you and i want to say i remember because it was like you'd done some article about about who was it wasn't funny anymore or something but i remember it was like maybe that tape it was on your lot looking yours too when you're tellin like our cars that fucking funny contains only time trying to remember the best i can that didn't happen really here there's no way i was doing a video saying who's not funny anymore that someone used to be funny and isn't prime confused me somebody else really because i was to lose you and i was that the best part is that i'm the best part is that i remember why guess watching it with some people and bobby kelly was like man there goes my acting gigs i looked just like the guy was broken
job because you look just like me and i can remember a karami kelly's my friend by knowing him from a long time ago no no oh then it may not have been you i was the one you that nobody killing i had sex in the same room together we picked up checks and brought fresh impediments to checks and brought him back to his place really near i tried to do that with day went on didn't dame wasn't any thing i so pissed at me like no other crises like these acts bigger one of the current year one of your funnier he goes turn it off persian turn it off turn off i got what he goes the comedy we're done it's over this happened by wish push and be toned down would probably should please us growth due would in fact anyone within fucking one that allows don't lie from here on our just let it go look to pick up two girls don't storing data tell the truth now oh yeah down we didn't
can anybody hammond aren't even the valuable lesson that was day mosaic see my car no because it gives you gotta learn to turn it off we have to turn our eyes ass being a comic into bad unlike our strategy joe ground and danes like you you're caught blocking the moment by trying to be funny we're done we did the state show over one apple mother fucker this is gonna be the most just burning bridges left and right on my seems like i would advise not talk more we didn't have any only just hung about some grass then that's over wherever whenever well you know this i'm do that like though they will feel like you're fuckin up their vibe if you just constantly hidden on the yuck dioxin they're trying to get some very white music plan right that's me funny i felt i'm not i'm not i can't i can't turn it off ever now insects i'll tell you if i turn
off if i turn it after insects it looks like this is an image down all the other images have viewed my head projects together now i can't tackling girls noticed sigma head looking at what are you doing with can you just shut it down and just goes into sexy mode oh yeah you know it's like people either sexy mood it's like toggle switch you knew you either a i didn't work for it i'm not proud of it it's like something i'll just born moreover what are you don't brow i don't i don't even know why i got it i gotta go
let me use did you see bobby kelly sexy mode when you guys had sex with hammered out twenty one or another do see or sexy mode lives sexy more men were laughing you know we these checks we men and they were really cool we had a good time singing now we're back at bobby's place and i don't even think we thought we were gonna wind actually having sex but next thing you know everyone's naked his grower over there we gave me his bed fuckin cool guy and mean this chick run bobby's bed here above children we're we're of children was probably twenty four i think maybe somewhere around then love bobby and he was shared bobby was probably the same age or somewhere reminiscing is only younger than me i did i want to use my age how will you forty one yeah maybe
didn't make too much that doesn't make too much and then he would be some forty six will be five years actually be twentieth time first twenty five or twenty four he was nineteen i don't think so they use that yeah but either way we were working together net is when he was with he had a colleague team with dean cook they were on the monthly monkeys and him and now in dane and bobby would do they do sketches and they would do like each do like five minutes to stand up and then a dane would do like the last bit and then i would go on out those guys now just stand up we did a couple gave scuttle oh by the way guys i'm not telling you should about bobby endanger please don't start bobby's could do not one of my favorite people comment i have drama demons bag i either he's troubled like many comedians you know he's made his errors for sure he's a suffered for those errors and there's a lot there's a lot of value to that suffering for comedians both value to the
creative aspect of suffering and you know the the region the aspect of the suffering when you rich analyses is questioned every but he has thought of something that somebody who had already thought of it just happens you know there's a lot of shit that's kind i want to say obvious but it's available if you do the math you now and there's the rub problem is one guys find out that they that there's a bit that already exist and they don't drop their own you're too thirsty there you're too hungry you're too and you are also not confident enough and you and your own abilities cause you're when abilities you should have eve we have enough confidence in the fact that you put in the hours you work on your right you work in your craft you workin here you your eye of being an artist sustain a comedian end of that what's a threat to that art well would say one of the big threats that art is if you you're not original that's a threat if you can be creative that's a threat so so
it comes along and threatens that originality creativity you shouldn't say hey but arms he'll get lash that's all phenomena keep going no what you should do is banned in that and concentrate solely on creating something the fillets place say oh there's a bit that here an example of one where i fucked up i don't even know i fucked up until years in years later i did a bit about penguins and it was that that march the penguins bit the member that movie than large the penguins morgan freeman chosen it and i did a bit about it's so obvious about no penguins are monogamous but does nothing brazil exactly the same style one is rosy o donnell one looks agenda jamieson connected fucking penguins you can pretend you're banging your sister your mom they're all the same the island regions ferris had a bit years but or that and i didn't even here until it's driving in my car and i was with
to exempt satellite radio time and they had the comedy whatever was raw dog and generous was talking about penguins looking exactly the same it's not that impressive their monogamous they'll executives and it's me it's so obvious it's right there if i had heard her knew it i would have never done it but i think she got there first i think like the year of her her bit precedes the year migrating she didn't even mention them march the penguins are think was before march the penguins even came out that's what one of the biggest spheres very young comic is is if you're afraid to listen people's alan's we are further debates like you now you need a fuckin start writing more work you know jim norton doesn't this and other comedians for that very reason he's like a comedy now you gotta you got to an already said this aren't i did upon cast this week about my first album and already was extremely critical of it i fully share this region we dinnery wrapping up where you live ministry of finance
and so i was extremely critical of it but i've said that's why i want to do this i want to look at me when i was young invoking really bad and hungry and dirty and not clean about what one in my dreams my hopes because i don't want people hear me just me and him too add hand me on on a fuckin on a city when we did in and there was that there was a lot of my fears young just all just how much of feed to be idle liner you gonna do you gotta let the pace me the pace well you also have to fuck up and learn long you have to fuck up and learn i'm taking a big radical after i wrap this and i'm going to fucking right and work and just and start hang on a clause we gotta watch young comic find out what they're doing something yeah i got to know where the where the fucking where the meter is like who if i gotta like our who similar faith there's crocodile hum montraville were a big
you will you want in the clubs you didn't realize everyone crocodile herbert everybody here and i die avoided at night fuckin have an obsession with lizards cause you don't want to be the guy with a crocodile bit hunter bit also dude have a lizard skinner rap on my poor too i have cases that are made out of algiers skin obsessed with reptiles and the whole thing this crocodile hunter this guy drove me crazy but i would never talk about them because the there were so many but you'd go on stage the calmly store and if you had a ten o clock spot the show start today they might be three guys before you they did a fuckin crocodile hundreds at all and i want to meet a guy go hated anyone do the thing about blowjobs ivan blows too late for the low job appears when i like ball jobs that's my deva that guy there are so many fake david tells out there put me in a group
now you know to a day with an average everyone you younger you don't know what you're doing on and you emulate you don't you eddie for what i'm doing ok i taught fitzsimons other days on my part will oppose release it tomorrow fitzsimons is going to make i'm in and he's gonna sit in that my that's a good move fitzsimons is a brutal credit any smartest fuck and he's a real good comic like you know a bird i'll tell you what you don't need you attack i'll tell you where you should go and you may not for another hour you may need to work but you you know you gotta do this got to do that melodic hasn't done that like chris rocketed that when he created new hours he had nicht apollo rich loss and they would write form right right i do not want greater right from the very strict about that i remain materialise same own tool that comes out of my mouth mine ran for ever but i would like gregg to undermine great punch up a joke
help anew the joke right now i've but oh i want him to tell me what is not what i'm better than no one's better italian gregg yeah he's a fucking great one of the one of them can guys that because i'm a friend with you i've become friends with them smart dude and also why i am grateful for friendship with you looked wrap this up i'm grateful my friendship with youtube i like this has been a cool family to be involved and it is it's what the things i say i said to stand up is one of my favorite things is the fact that i've earned the right to comment on the stand a comedian and then have real conversations with real people like you guys because it's you can't get to set a country club now well i think you know as well we mosher kashmir yesterday we were talking about like all comics you're like the only people that truly understand comics yeah nobody's gonna get us it's this is so weird be that kind of a fuck up and out that comes up with these ideas that other people just made some people
before nick upon occasion there's gonna be a stress build up in someone's gonna be the guy that bus above all a release is never going to college and so funny there's room difference being that in an irish fear is a real difference in that and a craftsman who's out their joe ideas or doug stand up stand up lloyd we own you know it's hard for the people to understand each other that's why i've been so supportive of other comedians thing it's real important is really important to me when i my first started out to get like the green light in the approval from other comedians like i've talked about on the podcast on marc maron gave me like a little pep talk wants melvin open micah change my world like i was convinced that guy could do it this guy mark mammas he was pro it was coming back from the comic start but he knew that it he he used to work of economies torn away which was mecca there was like this guy in and or some shit i mean in when he told me i was girls our holy shit i'm good
i'm really do this like tat those little moments for collective comic that is fight fuckin thousands after that mean when everybody bombs ever eads debt but that's also part of trying to find voice and trying to find year you're you're material and trying to figure out it ain't easy maybe to do this and we all need each other to look look at my life from when i met you guys like i mean the guy i said i blush mogador ass a lot of like ryan's where am i sure my books out today and i'm hanging out we're all still friends and and i'm telling a machine story stage i would never fucking told had i am and you never told him i believe your body but you would have i would single out one day you got to appoint we like i need some new material i was in russia and then i would just start taking up look we help each other man but you know you are just as important to me as i am to you you know
and brian users is important to me as i am to you to oliver jamie i could do with or without you buy me was it we are only now we we all feed off with each other and it's what you make out of these relationships that is like that's sort of your responsibility when your round as many talented people as you can if you just sort of lay back and become the guy where everybody does fuckin you know ten doesn't right new jokes as mother fucker is bombing all the time would bring on the road it is the same jokes did a year ago and is eaten dick then timid it is part and then timmy ones of king cut out the fuckin rosebush nessus how goes it's all for all of us to its important look i've benefited from being friends with all the people in this room but have also benefited from being friends with donkey and from being inspired by him but be inspired
by joey or are your dog or just need you know fill the film the blank keep going got my computer again with my fucking italian hands jesus christ bigoted it's trying to find my computer like a fuckin like one lampreys in shannon dorothy movie larry yes i watched attack of the killer lampreys jarred actions by joan visited the smiths dirty i heard that on the way here is like wait you don't listen to this measure but let's go get weird tone net tee o and eighty eight is interesting take us out on the song called drugs drugs drug fine tone
drugs drugs drugs online and you cannot understand what i'm saying now and i'll read off what we need to cover on this part casper chrysler ladies and gentlemen the life of the mother fucking pardon you fuckin lovey joe i put up a link earlier today on amazon go to my twitter and you can buy his book it is since the dealers this guy doing this shit is living room in his underwear don't take me i'm happy do drugs sounds like shit on me ass fast since it is who he is guided him that's him and he's bomb and do our ball and god are you fucking listen we will be back on saturday night for some sort of a u s sea fight
we cannot fight companion pie gas most likely be callin brandon was eighty bravo and me and we can watch the fights and we're gonna toxic shit and allegedly marijuana might be distributed someone why now somewhat bring about a one my show it fairly want how dare you it's available for download later you have just given shows live in the moment room of the movement of a little recordings are a dirty fox we'll be back soon rogan dieting dot com go there say twenty five bucks on the new android device the sexiest sexy including the eighty see one m aid which i have my dirty little eyeballs on think thinking thanks to on it died com go to an end i t use the code word rogan saint ten percent off of any and all supplements for in addition kitty can t shirts and all of the information about
cats and any brien's candidates go to death squad don t be and get you free gone including this friday night we'll be at the ice house in pay edina in the little room doing an episode of thunder pussy which is a completely improvisational podcast the audience yells out ideas they go on stage but we had set your fuckin mine any talk mad shit it's probably the funniest thing i've ever done my life you're on friday night billet go fuck yourself failure cries you're from me how dare you bill burne was right let me see you flax cyanide much love biggest everybody
Transcript generated on 2020-03-17.