Chris D'Elia is a stand-up comic, actor, writer, and rapper. He is currently starring in "Undateable" on NBC.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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fuck around play the music and let's get started
The will gain experience young constantly out there in the wild the wilds of Molly would honour.
Aboard, I'm DR,
last year ago, I see
faced with some other people, I don't know, look and sexy
like young, about these young, you still young guy. I know I know I've bye, bye, still kind of feel young. I thirty four month, I'm forty seven today and you feel forty seven now, but I take all kinds of charade me, film, fuckin, fresh hormones, fuckin epileptic supplements,
guys I got guys like you just made me feel like going to die soon, because you
You seem like a body I would hang with. Like that, when you know your but like you seem like somebody, that's my age and then when I
I saw your you're not like how the fuck am I going to feel because I deaf
feel less energetic than I was when I was twenty five year budget,
What do you do about its all about? What do you do about your model? The exercise? How often the exercise used exercise society hump in that's, that's my party colleague I used to exercise so much, and I just don't man yeah. You got two especially when you hit you thirties. Is it can't hear Jamie ears at me? Turn Asia amount for one.
I think gum his whiskers d, been in the room. Young crystals
crystal clear you gotta keep take care.
Otherwise it started. Atrophy
all the way around it. And now, if you don't you bodies, slowly atrophy, I got
I gotta and I just use it. I got up and then it s like. I do the road, so you know do the road and sex, so it's like when you gonna fuckin start and then it's like you know, that's the hardest, but I know what you know. You like a fucking do, but it's like he's gonna write it down. That's the number one thing: we write it down right now, what you have to do the day and then do that
Like the idea of writing down thing is an art,
hey. You know, I'm not, I'm really, not lazy, I'm really not like an hour. You know currently do inserts yours worker in your act. I see it. The improv you're there almost every night, constantly you, not least when it comes
and now not at all, but that's also
stand up, is like just such a rewarding now you know right at me,
The people are like yeah yeah, but if you weren't out, there's nobody there that's like, but if you don't
see like if you had an amazing body took his shirt off and people want yeah, shit, Christs, Eureka and then
and became what you have now he'd, be like what the fuck
my body, my amazing body, but now you just you
to having a normal body, and so it's become the yea
thing is to like I'm pretty lucky with genes. My genes Zalm, like I've, my guy sound,
shit yeah, you magazine a fat really is a lawyer guides and I he I e pretty. Well, I don't eat like shit, you know, so that's Palmer for people who don't
do they have the slow genes and the money? What happens they just start getting fat really quickly? That's a dad is a drag that is really you're. Just those of the cards to Acta. Morph, it's what it's called right: r and d morph into more and more for the fat. One act amorphous the people that can't put on wait, no matter what they do.
I will start to will someday yeah
If you don't want to start by when it's already fading, you know like right now, still look good, look, I've, let it in a dream.
You're a real good, give good everything's good here. It'll go though no matter what
then there's like the others is God does my pocket s? Sometimes a train is named Steve Maxwell, presenting Jujitsu bipolar, sixty one sixty three sixty four sixty four fuckin guy looks great
he's rip, tread six pack works out on farm just cause
We added never gives his body yeah chance to get so slot an awesome. Did I just you know my
My thing is also like for me, like our focus on one thing and I'll, just
that's about it and what that is his comedy to me like that stand up to me, I mean I told you I trained like
just five years for five years in which to train and again with John Machado, and I did it like every day and I worked out and I lifted were hits the good and
just what I did and then I did stand up and I like what the fuck am. I do
roaming around because it wasn't it. You know I found out that that wasn't me, you know like
to a point where I was good for me, but it was like other guys were. This is their life.
And then once I did stand up, it was just so the so obvious.
That was who I wasn't. That was my life that I was like I'm just going to excel at this. I feel like. If I worked really hard and I did we'll stay
It is a strange thing. You definitely do. Work really are like US embassy there all the time, but stand up
strange thing in that, like its potential is entire
based on like the contents of your mind,
and putting it all together and it's all the whole thing is you it's not like. You know, Jujitsu, there's more
There's armed rice triangles could be very creative and you can even come up with your own moves but withstand up, like literally anything everything that you can think there could
possibly Joam yeah and you can- and you can
I remember like especially when I first started out and not being
The figure out like had pan pad after pad filled with these ideas that were just ridiculously stupid idea. They could never be comedy without trial.
A Europe. What are the ideas that I can come up with? That could be comedy
we'll get some of my were still to this day I'll go back and find some. I hope you don't look like how did you ever make it you fluctuating it
embarrassing? You read the shit that yeah that's like one now at all, like I watch or tapes me like what it's hard is otherwise tapes from a couple years ago. I know you,
it's hard to fork and look at a picture and see how used to dress a couple years.
Bananas are the voters photos
from news. Radio Anna had earrings
That's an rumbling lawyer. I had hearings. Are you not say
kid. You forget imagined me with earrings now I had now area
so not me an hour, but I was dead, did out too far
Molly knows I'm gettin fucking your answers ones, they hunted thoroughly automatically diamond absolutely. Where I got one
yeah me and my roommates well when at the same time Gunnar yours, pierce,
my one room, it was crazy. You want both ears pirate style. He added to my brother had to hear both ears. Here. That's a gangster move
especially in the nineties.
And you look at those yeah and you look at those pictures and, like you think, I'm a man like you like. How did I get any pussy?
like for real, not even- I am, I know it's funny but like not even to be funny like how did somebody be like yeah, that guy
well, girl settled just like I say now. I don't want to think of settling with me that it does not go out with me. I actually,
wherein earring because of Jujitsu, because I started
get out of my role now tape and who fuckin our heaps, sarcastic, really yeah. Just take it.
Wow, that's crazy! I know why they wouldn't just fuckin taken out. I know due to tape their ears because they have the stretch.
Things. You know they have those giant holes in their ears, and so they pull the
and together tape it the guy frighten. You have seen us yeah, they they put those but others.
Things called yadda, endangering wrong, where they go plugs plugs away. Those things are ridiculous. Those arc yeah yeah, that's a whole cultures. There's girls, I gotta, be like Africa. Yeah he's got the biggest hold right here. What's I come the those
can women than have those plates Dear Surrey, the Surrey women they have those plates in their life.
By and large the plate, the more cattle they're worth when they get married. The audits
about that at all I mean I know about that. I've seen it, but that's a strange choice
It is weird when you think about wall cause that's attractive to.
Right on any more apparently the wording
dad that, obviously, I'm not hanging in broad
but the word is that it
it was like much more com
but now women are rebelling against it. Allow young women don't do it because they have the bang their teeth out. Their lower teeth, a site like war as the plate gets larger, like, as you start doing,
It starts like going into your mouth and you'd drool, constantly
and yet none of that man like what the fuck are. You, like just less pain, always known obeying anti.
It doesn't make any sense. I just did it doesnt. I mean that's a weird thing like what culture like decides is beautiful
a boy yeah. It's also like different in the world. Currently, like you go fuck, it
thousands of miles across the world and its completely different, and it still now yeah, which is crazy to me, yeah yeah. Now two thousand fourteen there's a chance
in Africa right around the giant played under lip and subdued, like you, man, wanna fuck, that girl get a plate. Put my food on her play.
Worker attacker at the same time, but if it were us here, we will be like oh we're each be too hard to fuckers. You got a plate whether we imagined that became bought
matches I mean if it became hot anywhere
who came like a style anywhere. It could be style anywhere else. It just needs yet hatch right.
Yeah it's all we fuckin made up, I mean like
used to be where girls who are very fair skin were hot, because that meant they were wretched, their indoors and fucking. That was awesome, yeah and then it will in the end the workers got all tankers are outside, but then it was
like a fuckin, ten chicks are hot because
automatic physical vacation, yeah the end, then the fur
Girls were not right, then it.
And around again year, whereas likely that girl doesn't want cancers. Shriver era she's got the money to know and have the skin care, but it's like
is making to shut up with our minds. Yeah decide like ice data girlies to attach a lot of talk to her by go. You know, you're, not you don't look better. When you can write you look great when you pay right, the tissue look different right. All it does is not better. It's all in your head, like some girls really can cause. I'm not, I know yeah. I don't
and how about like girls that our tent, like filipino grocery, like I can't I mean I'm sort I need to tan like you. Are you got that you brown you're lucky
you don't have to do that, should get cancer or even weirder, there's a lot of Filipinos
Take the stuff concluded die on its
it's an amino acid, but they they haven't injected in their skin, somehow to light to lighten theirs
permanently lighten their skin Tom it. What a fire
whole procedure involving this glued asylum stuff, where the it's very common with Filipinos, apparently chicks, would yet it's just Canada. Judges do whatever to make
look whatever but dinners dude that do that too, and that's just absolutely not yeah, there's certain things that do not do that, like immediately, I can talk to them like of your wax in your eyebrows. We have nothing to say
yeah. Well, if you have to earrings really do have a unit brow and you wanna get that euro brow termed. I get that I get that's fine, but if you have like sculpted eyebrows you'd go fuck yourself talked you do absolutely
you try and you hard man year either there is
yeah. I don't even like, like any any type of like shave.
Some part of your beard, rye right riches.
Let it go or haven't not not all yeah like Amis,
the White Stripes WAR of words that I mean honestly, if you're a fuckin alike,
a fighter or some shit, yours I'm about lines of my beard and cause I'm crazy to cycle to be fuckin too. Then fine, but if you're, just like a guy,
and you work at crate and barrel right and you're. Just like did its focus on with my with my sideburns yeah. What do you do it? Yet? This does a lot of work and father
just you U Peacock and their account was talking, but this once into bookie read about
The reason why men disdain men who, where a lot of jewelry and then it goes back to the hunting down
is that men who would wear like shiny flashy things? They would distract animals like there'd, be they would be a problem
run hunting journeys and the same thing with men. Talk too much like men were like. If you look like,
movies, where there's a there's hero in the hero, is like someone to be looked up to re, always very stylish. Yeah
Can I elected and greatly nordic states com? They keep her shit together because those are qualities valued in hunting parties. That's cool!
Isn't it where it makes sense here which is like with women right the dish
in the way we communicate with each other and the directive resumed. The way meant communicate each other men
value stoicism. Men valley
you a guy can keep a shit together when it when the chips are down, but when women,
would be gathering and making no food and shit where men, Roth, being quiet and
making up on animals. The one would be talk. How kind of shit about the man this
has he
he's run around out, there hunt what has beads on Shit Fisk air quality you'd like that's. That's the reason why the culture of females, the culture of men it has to do with hunting and gathering that's fucking, crazy and deep,
about what about, then you get the movies with the female characters that are common collective in coal yeah. Does her affection yeah? I mean ok, but it means all fiction,
then that year and then
watch out of me. I come up with
this movie, that's gonna feel like I'm sexist and you are
because of that? I am too, but not really mean. Look just it's more realistic than sex.
It's not saying that those those possibilities don't exist. They can.
Absolutely exist, but the reality is most of the time they don't. You know I think, there's no one answered for more fishermen's. It's like would put human characteristics to animals like Yogi Baron shit. We give them a human. We will. I think we
so do that with gender and sometimes,
we'll give women like these.
Male qualities in like especially superhero women, like Brian also
no brain or area,
elsewhere, the fucking disappeared through use. Do it again
Charlie's angels, when Charlie's angels came out and
Barrymore was kicking, people knocking them outright and it goes far beyond what goes far get warm and she's not beaten up. Nobody come air command, he goes
that was my woman is going to go out there like crime. I'd beat her fucking ass. I did a fucking ass right in the house,
one man
has truly funny he's hilarious
one morsel areas guys that, for whatever reason never made It- and you know
I mean I'm. I gotta get on the past of early. Definitely shed he's just like you, but he also go. He will go up like one a m and walk the Rome I am, but but the seven
Seen people that state would be crying yeah cryin. He never forget sorry, he had this been the brine wholesome bit and I quote about Susan's methods is drowned.
It was late a gentleman I heard there were bad kids. They sat that close the tv they didn't put away their blocks, for, while the spell of the milk, those kids will not be.
It was late a I heard they were bad kids. They sat that close it
they didn't put away their blocks, allow their oil spill in the milk. Those kids will not be messed up, black God, but it's
Finally, the way does it it's weird yeah, it's awful. It has offered its awful, but it's hilarious.
Would when there is that
Florida, do with its issues
really cheap airline. That I forget what has expressed,
AIR or like that some air bus. It was like a
the cheap airline, they went down the Everglades and he had this hilarious bit
about trying to walk his dog and those fuckin body parts washed ashore and then people with their fuckin cheap airlines. It is his his anger in this that these fuckin people too stupid.
By regular employment, and now we have to deal with it. I'm trying to walk life, giving up trade about my diabetic, pick it up feet and shed its full. It is you have to see it, I'm not doing the guy's material and justice, but is one of those guys.
I don't know where the fuck he is the ad- and now he was a meter made over
right. He actually looks like he would be a meter made weaving I just fucking, guy and you'll be like what is this guy do
What is this guy do besides this and the answer, is you fucking go?
stage, that's crazy! What
make any sense, because he was so good. He he was.
Oh god yeah I coming. How are you not like, but one at what may lead
him to be so good was like he had this stage stage was
story very rarely did anywhere, but here he would laugh factory sometimes yeah. I didn't feel right now
oh no, no, no, no! No! No, he would be up. There would show courage. I know right
everybody's globally. He was men, fuckin, Travis Bicker would come the real life
bigger, just people would be like. Oh no. This is not for me, the others, those guys that everybody knows- and everybody remembers, that you know like you,
will you call comics Comic yeah, you know it's like four, four comics. Those are the guy like if you, if you act like a lot of commerce ago, the store whose, like ten favour comic, several a lot of we're gonna, say: Holtzman, oh yeah. What Brody's? I tat S!
but Brody's catching on at least as yeah central share each view. What is it we are coming to put the essential in Israel
I can help you do that when Holtzman was, you know, young, there was no internet, so it's like now people can find what they want. Yeah, it's true
Well, it's also true that, like you used need in a network like we're talking about this before the podcast started, you used in need a network uneasy.
Need someone to come along and say: hey. You know you are the guy
Put you as a star of our show. You're gonna be this guy. But now I have just outlined
funny video on Youtube and then everybody goes who's that guy then they they send their friends at work and next thing you know it's passed around to create this in the next thing you know like look a rustle, Peters, Russell Peters became giant
not because a television has a fuckin, you too, but so Russell Peter cells out the o, to arrange in London to shows in a row. That's like a teen thousands, fuckin seats or somewhere that
and he's gigantic, and all because it just because it was funny, nobody picked them. Nobody right. We know- and that can happen now, but when wholesome was around with special when Holtzman STAR,
Just didn't exist yet no network. I would be like hey you be on my second, you be the lead. You would never take the chance now. I took the chance with that guy who knows what the fuck he would do ya
You know like we're talking about like guys, get in trouble for saying things off of the author,
off their show on stage as a comedian.
Yeah. I remember the rumour was on an of whose substantiate or not, but that a b C told TIM Alan to stop doing stand.
While he was doing home really yeah because
stay at love is used on the huge sit com and set a stand up, even though, but it wasn't even while back then maybe
Yeah, so do not talk about ideas which are now being a man yeah, but apparently like people,
it was sex, as you know, could be too harsh for a family show cause
those using with Bob Zagat Bob Sangree Envoy for family show and he's real dirty re. Like you
do stand up at all. While he was on that show at. I guess you didn't know they must have more. Also he was getting so much money. Maybe just didn't, feel the need to do it but,
a boy how something to do with his his willingness to say yes right
yeah, I don't know man, I mean I I but that to me it's like I've gotten everything from stand up so to not do. That is just weird to me like
I can't wait to get off certain gone stage when I was on his radio. But did you do you do
the descent about we always right, always never stopped. I dig it lazy
There was a time in the early nineties when I first got on television like ninety four. Ninety five I did fuck off with me,
act. Really you must there was. I just did what you do. Did the jokes that I'd
for years- and I didn't write at all for how long it least
year, maybe more, maybe more and then one day on the writer from news radio came to see me at the store and had a late night Spada, and I really was ugly, really loved
you eating crazy. I went down do and it was in front of somebody. I respected cup are respected and interests wasn't good and I realise that I have been coasting knows. I can't I just now
good night. A few moments in my career did did them what the real stand out: a deck moments
had been some bad on the way, but there's a few
stand out, really eat plates of sheer. Alas, what those moments may be way better in that
It happened to mean that moment of eaten dick in front of those writers at the at the common
In the main room late night, the crowd was dead. There was
the idea was not. There was no one. There I mean who might have been plus
writers, they might have been thirty. Other people were scattered throughout the Rome. Maybe fifty maximum, don't you think fifty but had started out a full.
And then as the chagos on a garment, like pray, one o clock in the morning or something like that. It was just.
But you were on the show already right.
Yes, how did you find such a late spot? I wasn't leads. Bonds is part. Well when I first got
these radio. I was a non paid, regular misused to put me on,
after the show is over
go on, like aftermath, see rise like when nobody knew and see rise, but actually think me he might have already got an HP especial my nine you for, but my point was that at one point in time the executive producer he actually said to me goes well
are you still do and stand up your nocturnal yeah. They dont people, don't get that people think that when you do stand up its to make it yeah end your like the one you make it you're like you. Did it? Do you graduated? That's the debts, what that's you?
that's your job? That's you that to me, that's what it's like! That's, why
when I dont understand when comedians, who have a show apologize for some shit, they did right because it's like that in a way that disrespect.
Who you are in
you really feel bad about, of course, about your like yeah. You know, I'm out, you know whatever it whatever it is. It's fucked us
dynamite you're like oh? I should have said that in Ukraine that and you feel bad than fight. But but the thing is it work. You know to be a committee,
It means your somebody who people are going to go to sea jokes and if you
are telling jokes and that somebody gets offend
and then you say you're. Sorry I
didn't mean that I should have said that then what you're saying is your kind of serious. You were kind of serious on stage when he says that yeah exactly
just be like will know. I'm not sorry, because I was joking and I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm not sorry for making a rape joke or whatever, because it was a joke. I was trying to be funny right. That's why the
only thing worse than what was it like: a rich
Michael Richards, when when I was terrible, it did not seem like a joke at all. It seemed real is fuck we hang around back then I was I was. I was like an open micro at the high cafe when that should happen so and
kind of New Frazier Smith a little bit because he was soon he was whose hosting that night. You know- and I was like laugh regime's hosting that night and
and when that happens, when you saw that like there's nobody in their right mind that would have seen what went down with Michael Richards onstage and be like. I was joking wrath.
We'll Michael Riches is the exact opposite because Michael Richard started out as an act right got superfluous and then try to be a comedian right right. That's that's! Tough! That's real fuckin! Tough! That's way harder! Its way! Fuckin harder! You know of Charlie Murphy. Did
Oh, is he dead, yeah yeah trolling there was an actor furs entire career than gunshots.
Culture and then when we launch Palko, everybody wanted me to stay right and then he started to extend a bike headline wow. That's I can't fucking. Imagine that he's got balls. Charlie Murphy has giant fuck
the iron bars. I dont know I you know I don't know, but but but yet another Richards
but what happened with Michael Riches of within when he went on to Letterman to do apologize. It was even war here I mean
talking about the war in Iraq, because I do just say, sorry or whatever, but and then
and then he said something black people, blacks
just sounds like you so out of touch just stated last. It was just it was
all you had to do was be like
Oh, I was look.
We ve all been in that situation is a comedian where something goes wrong and you're like a new and you push the envelope and an end, and sometimes it works out, and sometimes
doesn't like
remember one time, a lady mouth off at me in the audience, and I called our current a bunch of times. Ok, whether or not I
I feel like I should have done that the point is pure up there
fighting for your fuckin life man, and if you,
woke up so be it you're. This is
safe place, you're a comedian and you're in entertainer, and if they, if they try to fuck with you you're just kind of
for your life.
And you're in
if somebody word, I have seen that there are crystal clear call: the woman account at a context that South Park in terror.
But I was trying to be funny about in Euro yeah sorted.
I killed mean because his apology was so bad. It was
about its also you trying to figure out how to get out of the situation on the flock right like. When
echo riches on stage this
The scenario was MIKE
richard- was onstage, and these guys we're heckling them right. Michael Richards look, he was a bad
medium, I don't even know his stuff at all. I met you, I never saw I saw I live in the flesh, he was tarragon. He would
go on stage and everyone would be waiting for the funniest
to start with you so funny inside as Seinfeld he's Kramer. He goes on stage and he would like do this,
rat falls and stunned monetarism. This work, Russia,
If we do all this crazy shit and would fall down, would slip and end it would be.
No kind of like silly, but I thought that it was going to set up some common got it, but it never did. It would never do. Never go anywhere, and so he said the lad factory and it's like a Friday night. It's late the weekend night, it's late and he's fucking bombing, and these guys heckling ran their hackler brutally and he just pointed up and start call them niggers.
There are some, never there's a nigger over their right and like well. I'm here I see, but the back story is he
was on stage at the comedy store before that he went.
Are the store and then despite the factory and he was cooked out of his Lord on stage at the store I didn't know,
yeah. Well you he definitely enjoys stimulants
This is not surprising. I you know absolute.
We does cocaine, can prove that Cordelia anonymous speculation was, it was carved out of his head, but that it was like super aggressive
that kind of it and on stage for no reason: effectual, that's good cocaine, cholera epidemic,
only the end was apparently just it was ugly and but he got through without saying
bigger right across the sea went home yeah. He got away that without saying a word. If they didn't do that, sat me think about that. His life would be insanely different right when he would, he could prove it would still be, don't stand up. Who would have sitcoms? Who would be beloved?
Doesn T remains with them their beaks.
Did you see him in a movie? You know
it was starting to fail, though it was
starting in parliament standard will expose you if you're not a stand out, it'll expose the shit out of you and you have to keep sharp to its people are like when you know
My favorite, I want my favorite. Ours is Eddie Murphy, you know and you should come back. You should come back dude. If could you imagine going back after thirty years of not doing it and get busted with transsexual hers? Will you have talked about it unless you, Jim Norton? Anyone is completely on it. The most people can't
lately on weird perverted shit, especially by your chance. That's why you can't apologise if your colleague that's why, unless you really did a Kramer
you know unless you, unless
You truly feel like you fucked up. What station could have done is, he could have said? Listen, I got a cocaine problem and I don't know if you've ever done: cocaine but cocaine
eggs. An idea seemed like a good idea. That's a terrible idea. Even people who don't do cocaine know that they are there where their its knees. I look you know I got on state
it comes under the influence and I was bombing here's the deal on not that could accommodate right. Ok, I'm a good community.
Actor right as a stand up and marginal at best right
if he owned it. Let's hear it said that it would have been like out. Ok,
we ve got about here. They really would have. I believe that I think you know at the very
please you would have gained loud people's respect because
I've been doing our yeah hours, our respect, big type here, your fears that the matter, if he had done
lack only show like if
provided only African Americans come to how come into contact with what.
Get through. Yet we were at the store. I didn't see it.
Bought that he had last October. We are at the store that night I had Miss Kramer. My spot was I'm calling Kramer,
I missed him. I had I gone
store like just after his spot, so
I got there and they were all talk him how bad it was like a cop Kramer, robed up, and so there
we're hanging around the partial huts were hanging around the parking.
Brain Ernst comes over the laugh factory, a bribe,
yeah. He was like ya, ya, gonna fuckin believe we just went out or laugh factory, and so he started telling us the whole story about Michael Richard going
and you know and drop it end bombs in the whole deal and we're
Well, I didn't think anything of it and then Monday morning the video came out and then
it was one of the very first of those videos they like
I just someone doing something really fuck, that's the other thing. Man is that if that wasn't a big thing then and an end, it became a big
That was what were you saying when it first times are yet happened here that debt is just fuckin.
That was when I saw that I was like. I actually had a thought
whereas I men we live in a different world. Now I mean
How many times has something like that happened undocumented all, or that how many
so I dont think that undying. While I haven't. I grew up in this. If I can, I can I get you get in fact power now. I know you're not in fact as much as twenty one year old you getting fact that date they have no knowledge of any time before this right. You know at least you being thirty four
yeah I mean you kind are watching it come to fruition as you're in a dies and your kind at sea
All these fuck ups happen like the Kramer FUCK up and all these other fuck ups scene,
as you are becoming successful standard like don't you,
ooh learn from that guy. You there's a mistake and I want to make, but these kids, like they don't even get there
like. So what are you saying when they move Expo? I know, but this that's the thing we there has to be some sort of backlash. Words like we're. Like look. I I think I think I'm a good guy. I think I'm a good guy. You know I try to
try to be good to people. I think my friends would say tat a guy here, yet I feel sure or thank you, but but I'm trying to not be ready.
Doses or even modest, I'm just trying to like think outside myself. I think I think I'm a good person, ok and I definitely fuck up
there's absolutely things out there that if I were to run for a pilot too for some sort of office, I will be second
are we before that there's no way, there's no fuckin way, even if I was really politically minded and very smart and the best candidate did you fuckin way. I would get elected because I've already done the thing that
me and somebody's gotta screenshot of it? They do not, I mean, and but so here's the thing, though, I think that we
in a time now where you ve gotta, just like look there that shit's out,
its video tapes somewhere somebody's got something. I fall asleep: chicks, Vulcan
We take pictures of me without the sheets. My dicks are probably it's probably is out there somewhere. Probably you just gotta, be
Somebody's gotta come out to wit, where were they
exposed, and they just
and there's a video of the guy? Are you sorry did this happen? What I have to say about this fuckin dick pick, you just gotta, be like look,
whither like me, are you don't I fucked up you fuck up
Their shit out there like this, because a me because of my us
that's and where I am, and if you like me, you like me,
you dont, you don't, but I'm sorry and subscribe to me or don't and if it isn't even a fuck up. I know it's not me think about that, like if you'd, like the lid scenario, that you propose, if you're lying there and subject takes picture you dick, that's all
no, it's not a fuck, that's Lightfoot, but but if it's
we're politician, he doesn't get elected, that's true and that's that's fucking bullshit yeah through Dick,
that's bullshit, but I think it's only ridiculous base on the standards of the the
previous generations psych. I think
were japanese politicians on these, please previous international standards, and then
as time goes on what would look Obama bomber on the four,
presidents had said he did Coke brand and smoked. We would never happened, and you know you never never these
I was I've retweeted. This thing today was about Nixon
Nixon during the Watergate Administration or during the Watergate scandal. Nixon brought in
all generals and was testing the waters for taking over Congress and having a coup.
Having like military intervention to take over its really fast.
Nay, I don't want misquoted or anything, but that guy, like he, his era was a different era:
like the Nixon administrations. Error was a completely different era like his the standards that he was judged by four was was things that
there was no more exposed for anything in the past and so all of a sudden he gets exposed.
The Watergate, missed the Watergate scandal happens. He gets busted, I spying on other candidates in and then you know he feels this. Those
so. We can state happen when they shot those kids. They were protesting, the Vietnam WAR and he would
constantly worried about lefties causing.
Word about liberals and the liberals taking over the left is in the EAST coast lefties, and he apparently had
crazy meeting with these
these generals- and this is the one about the guy said. I got the impression he said that he was so
of testing the water with us to see whether,
there will be support any nodding of heads or some of these other things. One one
well have come to the conclusion that here was the committee:
to keep him in power so like. If they were trying to keep him, there were kick him out of power, because the Watergate thing he's gonna bring in the Miller
who's trying to find out whether or not in a crunch? There would be support to keep him in power so like if they were trying to keep him we're going to kick him out of power because of the Watergate thing he's going to bring in the military like he was trying to test the waters
but today in that same sort of scenario, like a guy, it's over you now you you you can you can, then you can't hide things like you could hide things that right, so he got busted and he thought they're gonna try to kick him out of office and liking. It is it
Nixon was a really bad guy who's, a really bad guy, but they were,
really bad guys like I'd, probably
every body that was
bad guy. That's how I think the standards
people can be judged by or very very different because I dont think really bad guys are going to be able to be present and the future right. I don't think a guy like Nixon, will get to a point where he could be the president and not
all the dirt on him. That would be revealing right illuminated, but long before you ve got an off, so
it that has to be that what yeah there's good than theirs bad, because the good
Is a guy like Nixon like dubious,
I found him before he ever got an office that no one would accept him right right, yes, dear totally, but
like the stuff like the sexual stuff that people do. You know like a J F K when everyone present right, never never never chance if their hit. If there was faced with
back when J of the direct messages I mean
J F K was an animal use, fucking animal. He didn't didn't care. If he was married. You didn't care, he was gonna party. He was a garden
president, I died the commander in chief and he was gonna get Dick where there was just did you just? Did it so cruelly and president, today, no chance Clinton was the last guy, the last of the great presidential dicks Langer it for now on you'll, be judged in completely different way of that's. I don't
It is a good! Well, it's not it's good when it comes to things that aren't sexual because it affects the job. Yes, but it's not fair to judge somebody sexual prowess because of his prowess. Is it prowess or is it practices lush thing it's not, but is it because? What if, instead of like sex? What if it was a gambling thing if he had this crazy gambling thing where you found out that you know
hey man, Obama can't stop gambling on shit gambles on everything role the dice roaches running across a durable. I killed his game.
What raindrops coming down a window, but that that arguably does affect the job yeah. You know, but I dont know if you wanting to get ass would be like you know what I'm gonna do in Gaza. You see that aspect that doesn't have a gambling could effect that there was thoughts that did the one of the things that could affect a president. If a president was like a real pussy chaser
was that someone could blackmail. If, if someone had some information like a safe, you how I got
I gotta get through that makes sense. Soviet spies super hot to fuck em to fuck. The president, then, would have some presidential dick and she fucks them, and then she has some dirt ottoman southern pillar. Talk politics, a motherfucker pillar talks, a motherfucker.
Dear, that's the thing, but that's kind of Mord I mean. Is it really a thing out tax? I mean come on
what hot jig around that's what I mean what come on she's, even when that happens in movies unlike come on, James Bond, is first of all does no harm by
There must be able that there has to be to try to make it happen to make it to make it. For that.
That's right. I mean to be like we have to get you into scattered, chaser top ten.
Unifil lady spiles elements. Some leninism right now
pull the nine of them are. Not nine of them are not. Ten of them are not about it. There are disgusting. Woe witty see these monsters actually I'll. Take that back. They want to start getting down. That's Jimmy thickets, theirs!
they're. Ok, I know hand I'd where knowledge ideas worth here. What's filling from
just pulled that up- just pull that that its
smashing lists top ten beautiful lady spies from history. It's the first one. Also you never
there. There can't be us by walking down the street. We like damn look at that person there
woman, her name's Anna Chapman, she was a beautiful twenty eight year old Russian, with an iq of a hundred and sixty two. What yap she had a diplomatic father diplomat far
in a taste for the high life
russian National. When living in New York United States was arrested along with others, the titles about her body. That's our
parents know how do you know she is, but this
woman. Anna Chapman is pretty hot she's on page to young Jamie. None other girl was not to know,
but she
rested along with his yacht, looks kind of jam. Yeah hunt, shit she's turned guaranteed during those eyes. That's,
does it takes so she was a spy. Yes
so she's a russian national. Well,
living in New York, United States was arrested along with nine others on twenty seventh of June two thousand and ten, while recently on suspicion of working for the Illegals programme, spy ring under the Russian Federation's External Intelligence Agency, Chapman pleaded guilty to a charge of conspiracy to act
as an agent of a foreign government without notifying the U S, attorney general and was deported back to Russia. That's it just deported as a part of prisoners swap and right now, she's tied to a bed somewhere in Russia when it, one of which is doing today,
well, then the next one number for how it should have a five year, what the emerald that's about it with as an asian one and then number three is pretty.
Young beautiful females applied during the Chinese
a war between Blah blah blah blah blah tune. Read that the k you, oh am I an t cure, Mean Tang, and the Communist Party has only fifteen shoes. I fifteen Asia, put that part of the Friday tonight and for once now that's that's the now. That's when the image wait. One hears the whole birth, I'm confused
when they re too that's ridiculous, but banana hinders not that old. That's it enters a new agencies. Nineteen, thirty, to thirty, two nineteen, forty seven. What does it mean?
Fundamental rights are still fresh. Did she die? Maybe she must have back in that of the life and death of her has become a symbol of the courage of the chinese people's often cited as a homily, h m. I l why of their law? You know that word is what's homily under her. That word used accounts. Google, it allowed the internet. What we're world we live in homily is a religious discourse that is intended primarily for spiritual edification rather than doctrinal and struggle fucker. Using that word for of their loyalty to communism. Are stories often told as in homage to the struggles endoored and the south
faces made for the cause of liberating China from the centuries of rule by foreign powers. It's one of those words that uses other words. I don't know to describe a gave his picture. This other check is clearly not a real picture number two, because
from fifteen fifty one fox right, you can't have pictures, is checked
I've seen that living a movie star, Goddammit sons of bitches. There's somebody
right now and then model hurry model hurry. There was in it
Tony said, but you have it. That sounds like some old old way of thinking to be like what
We can have a good precedent that wants to fuck alive because spiled Ghana like come on
It is quite ridiculous that that sounds like that sounds ridiculous, but we can
proved our own point because the top ten throughout history we only found one one of them was.
Fifteen one of them was legitimately hot and, like I said she was russian right, that's debt servicing
There was one hot railway lines right right, so we can approve. It
boys are really is right. The Edward web yeah but author of human history
women to endless she was twenty eight. What does she now? That's is one that is too hot.
Still how this was only to four years ago, so she's, thirty, two and thirty.
Lange and pleasures are caught so she's fucked you we know about her now,
maybe maybe she arrays raise in Russia. They brought it back to Russia's public goddamn hero.
Where is she today which, even if that were really a thing, I think people would
I mean you don't know about about. People would be like raising hot spies. That's true! I mean that that their why're, you there's no way. We wouldn't do that to she's even had a nap picture. There is light. If you go to Google images, whew yeah, she was smokin letter. This is probably a maxim.
Oh yeah, totally ccs from that's from her as it is. She's got these long red gloves on this hot lingerie illegally
Will you help me if you're spy don't take fuckin pictures like this
I think that it makes sense if it was ending to not be retained, just beat, but just stay out of the fuckin light. Ok come on son that cabin. How
really really think on I mean come I mean come not.
Spies to issue the pictures you say under it, not a spy, hold it right up to her by a barrier dirty girl, that's crazy, yeah! There's a lot of dirty pictures. Her somebody should unknown
Yes, she was on maximum yeah see. This notion was on russian maxim like not really Maxineff maximum account Russia mix.
Yeah. I wondered why she's out today, Ghana, Chapman today, I bet she's got a good gig somewhere in Russia. Spargo park asked
throw it does one woman short exclaiming, her she'd twig stupid
arrogant despite the rest synthetic see, she refuses to discuss it like a true spire. Refuses to this interesting profile, she's connected somehow to Edwards,
a while there was a recent tweet proposing marriage to Edward Snowden. That's real! She proposed marriage Snowden one. I want him to marry me, sick and
boss by spiral Amerika from pressure, I spy
again and again and again I may very private disk
person on the revenues on Twitter, many into the issue to her tat. She gets it yeah. You said: there's a tweet about it. She's got it a twitter page but yeah, but I thought, like maybe like somebody else guidance fund. Now, Anna Chapman Twitter spies need to work on their social network.
Anna Chapman on Twitter lay out a tweet alibis union tweet alibis put up a toothpick way somewhere else. If I went to her twitter page, you followed me out panic, but I'm fallen. Are you blocked nope,
they were gonna zones made. You found out, you were blocked it now. You know
surrounded by the village. Social
India is become very strange and like twitter and I'll everything on her pages on Russian Scott Wild, but yes, she's a frame clear. All sexy pictures all over the place,
Like Instagram, you gotta, like you, you had a funny report, but let you out,
you a girl? And yesterday
page you dont have a hundred thousand years has not happened, cause it happened. I went to girls page and we just
her doing yoga was her ass, like her
genes. She had two million fuckin follower youngest around here I was
walking by in, I was in LAS Vegas or some shit, ATO and there's a postscript was like come see,
to Graham sensation, shouted out and was just some check. That's crazy man, girls radically,
the tens,
Instagram than in real life, oh yeah. They would because they just shut the shit. I want the followers and then you get the followers for Heaven and ass an let me ask you some and then what and then what
that's a good question, because it was an article in like one, those New York magazines that was all about this woman who was an inch.
Graham fitness sensation, shortages, they didn't say it, but it was just because she had a friend
das yeah sure it was just incredible right. There were just talking about her lovely figures on her figure answered, they write juicy Buddha and they were talking about all these projects that they're putting together and there was a meeting
A teen behind her and they're gonna marketer I'll fuckin cause of an ass yeah just because of a body part, a big fleshy body, part the carriage and that that yeah hips leaky, give birth, easy and fats and he could sustain the pregnant and that's fine. But then, when a girl postal picture of her from Behind- and it's like- you know- some Quote- inspiration shit
you dislike. No, I know they have millions of comments on their fuckin thing, but are still comment now I will yield just say. No
no more than now alright ethnic said. No, because it's not it's not
Ok, it's not ok, you can do it, but then you're an asshole. Does
fire than when you go to girls, page with its into grant or twitter and they're just a plethora of images of her in sex.
Positions there ass out in our underwear, bikinis doing selfies all and then there's a quote.
About men and needing to respect boundary. That's yeah, that's something! That's just like now,
Treating women like yeah you're, a woman
sex of jack you're, crazy, don't know that would be like if I fuckin that would be like. If I took a bunch
peanut butter, put it off
over my eyes and face and mouth and then
said to you, do why
psych peanut butter in here you realize what you got.
Can t. You would say you because you're crazy, so why don't we back and say that about those girls, what we do come into a kind of, but then when we do we're sexist? Yes
well, there's also you have no hope of second of banging them. If you guys that true, I don't
It depends on the aid we re, let your program, you shoot them down and then a million other geyser abominable those. You know what you know, what those guys are fuckin worse than those girls, those guys a trader you for they are traded sons of bitches
although for real, when a dude, psych, hair or era when you're, when you're, when you're trying to you know, take it with a girl and then some
other dude, psych yeah, I heard that do it's bad dude. Are you
oh yeah. Why that's the yelled? I heard that dude he just fuckin he now he's out for pussy is named, carry a lot of girls
You know that do usually did helped you by the way yeah cause you
and every hour really by, should I can't do that soon.
I think I still no better. That is a weird thing there,
do what you did some dude. I would
ever do that. As a matter of fact, I've been wanting
been trot like if I'm like, really trying to get this girl and, like I so hot or whatever, and then I've an end, and I find out she's a boyfriend and
There has been such wages in my life. We're outside. I found out about a vibrant, and I found out that the boyfriends Jean. I would never forget that. That's them that's their thing here,
to be a fuckin due to simulate dude. I'm gonna do the right thing, but really
I do not consider Instagram ass, your fuckin asshole. Well, there's a lot of these are fake white nights. They just trying to look good he's trying to come office like I'm different than men have ethics and morals, and the really important to me is China position themselves if you're
dude and your best friend is a woman? It's it's it's! It's! It's aspect is very suspect highways, but yeah yeah. Unless you,
really unusual. Well, look there are. There are look and I'm not saying that women
hot women and whoever are having their fuckin. They can be great friends, but get you off if their hot
and even if they're, not you sometimes don't wanna fuck it s an that's. Ok right, you know, but guys that do have like a hot woman. It's best friend that are not banned.
And they pretend now it's totally platonic. Ok, I could never trust a guy
unless he has like an insanely hot wife, that that
yeah or or if that used to date. Yes,
That leaves us yeah, that's possible if they, like legitimately, have nothing to do right. Other anymore, right, like I have axes that, like I wouldn't want to sleep with, but in their heart you don't mean right, it's over. Yet all!
but you still friends, yeah yeah friendly deny your best. Now no attention now, weird, that's weird which women anybody like when a guy is like work at an angle and try really hard
The like position himself as better than he position himself as being like different in every other guy. I'm t known Slavic has other doing negative things. I read this one. Nice fuckin twitter, page of the day it was amazing, it was just like he's. He might be the ultimate white knight I dont want to give out his twitter pay
but he might be like the greatest. If I met him, he probably has almost no blood in his veins is blood sugar.
Probably zero hereby faints, although his it was so weak, but
things he said is, he said,
It's all been. He said, all
I still practice. Feminist is still practised feminist
I no longer so
you are no longer, would you say, advertise myself
has a feminist, because I feel like it's up to women
to decide whether or not I'm doing feminism correctly Jesus Christ
so our still practice feminism, but
no longer advertise myself as a feminist, jeez correct that that's
I actually don't even know what you say about male feminism is a very strange thing. Not mail
quality specialists or equality promoters, specialist legality,
and people who only look out for the greater good
of all humanity and don't gender identify or don't do not dare not gender specific and how they say.
The Pierre should have rights and national debts. I think equality is a beautiful thing,
when it comes to like how people are treated in when it comes to laws and without a doubt that's how it should be, but this idea of male feminism it strikes me as
a bit. Pandering, there's a little bit of pandering on. Does little
the other
absolutely little bit of role playing going on absolutely your year, because because
A mail has an income to want to sleep with women. If so, it's like
That's not going away this guy. Just because you respect of a war
doesn't mean you can't see a woman in black. Damn look at that ass right
That's what those guys are acting like like that that now
it's better now I dont look, there's an object, you haven't you, your men, you have a mid brain with amid brain. What we
mid brain is like yours.
Like a lizard. You not, I mean you're like a red, fast red cargoes, bilingual shit, you even if you dont physically, do that you fuckin were you.
Do you notice it right. You can be fucking a girl,
a beautiful girl and then
on the tv or coming.
Here comes out with a beautiful girl and you'll be like who's that, yes, you could be anyway. That's must acknowledge that oh yeah, I know I don't think, there's about that
I think with them. It's it's about positioning themselves as being so what women have a problem of men
in the same way that men are proud with women
what? What? What are the issues at manner? Prom with women in this is just some men and some women is generalizations, but
there's always like all that girls, a gold digger. She just wants a rich guy. She wants a guy with a big dick. She wants some pigs dud, some big.
You know she does even realise, and I'm the guy sure these, like issues at a lot of men, have with women right
a lot of women. The issues they have with men is
an animal the guy's, a savage just trying to provoke a bunch of women he doesn't ever want to settle down. It has one ever have a family he's ever
to be loyal to one woman right and so many
position themselves being different than every other man right they'll come along and they'll say I've seen they the evil,
of you know Male Reno, patriarchal behaviour, and I just think it's not cool on a feminist. I bet
looking out for all women's rights and I'm different than all women. What you don't ever fine is men. Who will you? I guess you could?
but it's very rarely guys who were savages, who identify with being a feminist like it's, not like press
ugliest athletic pro football players
like a warm, also a feminist. Basically, it sounds funny I as an its guises like they're, not very manly, then so they're they're stick is
I'm gonna position myself as being solution to all these other men that are out there, I'm socially retarded. I I dare not attractive in the treaty.
No sense. So what I'm gonna do is be like super alter, sensitive and super where women's needs and super attentive, and I'm just going to live my life in misery and attempt.
And I guess I work. Sometimes I guess it is vital that have fuckin platinum, albums. Human DNA, though, will you do you think it s like which guy I don't you guys don't get a guitar and just be like those guys get manner possible,
That's what I'm saying like John Mayer, but that's it I'm sorry, I don't know, but he's not a feminist, that's shred of you, but if that guy's just he's com,
grandpa in the picture yeah. I guess you're right about. If you
right. I mean those guys. Don't now
he's more like a romantic right right right. You know, he's positioning hymns himself, but I mean
look. People position themselves. What what? What do we do
comedians I mean
one the reasons why guys got in a comedy. I know one. There is what what I love about doing com these also girls, liked me like customs, I didn't like me when I was
fighter is very rare. The girls were really excited to hang out. Some guy was hanging out, sweaty dude salt.
Getting kicked in the face, it's not about attractive but mean guess, you're famous fighter, but but but comedians like that, you can make them live, and so you would, you would work hard on being more funny, be more funny around
right, girls, to, like you, mean pretty much, every comedians heterosexual has had that motivation. Be funnier cause girls like funny guy
and when you feel less attractive, you ever taken a girl to show you a dick onstage. Well, that's a terrible, terrible, terrible place to be clean and you have
You have nothing, you have what you thought was in its work its last year, like ah she issues as you do to me, but
worse, because she you know your your work
then a guy who does nothing.
I want you, do you're awful at its now,
like I'm trying to find my place in this great and I've got good features. No Ray ease means gap potential once Chris gets a shit together, but no you will you be
I'm on stage like they saw. What you do and you do it awful- that's really fucking funny
positioning yourself as like being a funny guy like you,
I'm the guy right! You want to come to me for lads, I'm the guy. Some people are not that guy there, the guy you want to come to me for equality talk. I know a lot about women's rights and I dont are used, identifies a feminist, but I found it s like insulting to actual women, so I no longer identifies a feminist. I will leave it up to women to decide whether or not I am doing feminism correctly. Amazing.
Is that guy picked up a box of cookies. He would fall asleep in the middle of lifting it up, it would fall and hit his head and died
it is a fact that guy's not gonna, be with a rebuild society guy,
has to be a singer. That said that no, I think, he's a comedian
Well, you know that's defining summed it whatever it is. It's a disaster. It's it's
Two people, a shitty friends and ignore,
imposing recycles. No man no link no on these fuckers instagram and just right now. Do it attack me at it. So I can go no amount of fact find these dudes Instagram. I know a lot of you. Listen find these dude these. These bitch made duty on Instagram. Pity comment you come.
No and new Tang that crystal clear.
And I want to see these do it, so I can laugh
women position themselves as being different. Other women too, like Amy shimmers, got a funny fuckin sketches she dinner show about that.
About the girl who can hang his life
there's a girl cells tat played yeah she's less, so
guys. I love sports. You know Bitches Europe,
Compania hired obliges looking at what you guys and they'll position themselves as being different right in all these other women that want a certain thing from a guy. You know like. I knew this one check and she had no female friends, but none, but she was d t f all day. She doubted
Everybody can tell us your things, she I'd all male friends, and you know she had boyfriends choice: Bang Dude, which she had boyfriends minutes check, which, as always, but that was her hustle. Her hustle was that she was. You know one of the guys
that's how she got all these guys and she sort of morphed. You know any kind of
kind of what she liked, but really
You get to know her, which you really wanted was like a real, steady relationship and but about guys she got in that trap or guys didn't take her seriously.
Because sure she was banging guys what she had other boyfriends, and it was always like chaos and with a cigarette
how to get out of here. I'm lonely. He know people they get in that position where their whole life is like a constant I'm late
I gotta go, find my life fuck, my lack of yes, that was this checks uses. It was always like
We think some Fuckin Stevens bullshit Stephen I've been friends for years at home. Where are you fucking? Stephen
I can see even dare we went to college together,
millions legs I mean like
comes over and sometimes are both horny and they all my god you're crazy, but her hustle was she was different and although the girl she was like just one of the guys he had read and cheap, but she d
downside wanted a committed resource, of course, but no guy wanted to give it to her will not happen
fuckin all of his friends. People
man, they morph and become. Who is they think that other people want them to be much too? You know whether its they become a male feminist or the become a down ass, bitch,
whatever you know, people and then along the way, they actually are that person.
Along the way they actually become nedda that becomes
all they know of themselves yellow. If it's because that's what you know it's like OJ prior thinks, you didn't kill his wife in the subject
No, I mean, I wonder, I don't know that's what they say, but it's I give you the mind
broken in Saint yeah, you make yourself. Do you want to be
I think it's totally possible that he really believes that this point that I don't avi desert. It did
it's completely positive, though I mean people than
crazier than that right. That's that's just crazy! It's not super duper crazy craze. Now it's not mean if you
like yourself or fuckin, ten fifteen or twenty years now. Ninety three many forks twenty or twenty five years tat flew by almost twenty years. Yet people they,
come like religious people think about how many religious people have like almost exact same way of talking arms, the exact same inflection accompany late night?
preachers have the same way of talking they all
talk about God's work,
in the same way, with the same way crystal clear, so we're Jesus came down with these rules came down from the mountain, but why is that they do something they adopt. Just like a male feminist
Dobbs, sort of an email way of tracking and a more subtle way of like a more like
Yes, it's like much much more people
stopped giving him media ass. The guy stay agenda there, how many guys like even when there is like
guys, a sound exact like David. Yes, there is like tat.
Guys therein. Everybody would just words.
They were do when a tat. They would go on state today will do I finally also
with the sports announce that yeah on that
every go out again: side retired that do not
When I do that, you're not like. Oh that's that sports and actually like that's the sports, announced forgot or like morning zoo dj. Oh, I did a tour one.
Radio towards the other day, whereas Pierre inside of the things every didn't toward things there, but
almost like north korean prison would be on the list of worse things ever nice folks, I'm sure they're there are there all night individually, but we have to do for hours again, it's the worse! Well, it's that. Will
You really appreciate when you call one end.
Side and then other shit, a good do that, like or good GAO your tongue said yeah she's, a good gal at something you're just
in itself the as superimposed over she's, a good girl, but you know I did for hours of this shit
from like six, they dot M and I spoke to ten people that their exact same person,
All right. Click delete, MILAN crystallized, new calmly tour starts this week, but Sally and then their questions. So what's the deal waited when I didn't
able- and I did these fuckin things. Are you data all? Well, what
What is your for? Your factor rise to get. What are you afraid of you, because I appreciate you worried bugs right now what what now
now those shells called on data but you're, a good luck and Guy Chris. What's the deal just
what's it what's the what's the boss data, but what what are you find a debatable at a girl
floating shoes will take her out or Strip CUB Dj
to this day over your legs was murdered.
Babies, onstage too
gentlemen. Fifteen dollar kamikaze he's right, irregularly, idolators here that even over Anastasia,
and she safe. That's better
it's dead that that those those inflections those like patterns that people choose they. They think that, like this is how communion supposed to talk all talk like that and then I'll be a comedian like
now that you did it, but a lotta comedians. Do it. When starting starting out. I had a real problem where I would mimic other and our
I myself so yeah low. If you watch
you're after. Like you know, in the beginning, I, like tat guy, you know, and then you go on stage in, but you figure it out. If you do it enough. Yes, you know, it's like it's like reading
one authoring just siding with him and then you're lightweight, there's other books out there, you gotta we'd, all income. Will your opinion yeah yeah,
o Brien can't. Yes, I think we are talking about what the fuck are. You alright
a book and me priority readability raised like one chapter: it's amazing pluck you. You have to read this and
He placed it leave use out life and you like wait a minute. You know that guy crazy costs are setting him. I did Bob thing a guy like disagrees with Nobel Prize winning scientists that he'd misquotes there,
come on I'll, send him like all this Fuckin Brian,
I got this huge argument ones because he kept quoting this asshole, then
on his podcast, so
in the middle, the conversation to save this on my phone, because I tired
this conversation with him. I just start reading off all the different things where this guy has lied and said things wrong, and he seemed
slowly get deflate. Do you ever just just Google debunked after that guy?
just whatever got you, you do ass. I do that with everybody. Now do that with everybody. Now that I have as a guest I, how does one Diana in Dave Aspirin? This guy is a nice nice.
Right is a burglary and he
he said a bunch of shit. Why do you have in mind in the first I didn't know? I don't know. I don't mean that I mean what was the reason he was on the transit. Knowledgeable guy knows a lot of shit about what, though, like what different like he calls himself
bio hacker, and how did you know
learn about him think take take Fletcher turn me into I'm. Pretty sure pressure was Tate, Tate loves. He
created this sum created, but he popular as this idea of mixing cough
with grass FED Butter and empty t oil. So it's like a slow burn. The caffeine kids, it's delicious beverage, that's really
all along the way he started promoting this type of
I feel that he has its, which called Miko talks in free is a long story that has been beaten down on his part.
One of our greatest go, but it too much. But after that
There was so much misinformation that I felt responsible,
because I put it out just as I and I repeated the things that he had told me so now I google debunked
just then I know a lot of times when you, Google, debunked you find out a bunch of fucking crazy pray, dont re guy, like if you
Google, Mead, debarked, you're fired
That's my girl CIA disinformation age, in whose hiding the truth about
I'm trails of a real. This allowed people to believe that I'm a disinformation agent and then I'm hiding the truth about cam trails. Can trails, which are the evil sprang that the government does with planes when you see those contrails behind planes,
artificial clouds Crystal clear and those of beings reunion organise a government that government.
Good,
we're out of their fuckin minded. Lately I've been called a paid disinformation agent. Might they believe that I get paid I'm waiting for my fuckin checks? First of all, I am not getting any checks from get paid. It might be a lump sum plan on life.
But people, if you don't believe in the things that they believe in they automatically assume the Euro government agent. I got this guy MIC West, who was on the podcast who he was on my cypher,
to be runs. Cycled met a bunk and it's all about debunking conspiracy theories and all
People ever say she works for the government. Skyward course he's a
Malta. I Multi millionaire, who was so,
a video game company, a super, successful videogame, come news.
What a video game company makes like Tony HAWK, the deuce loaded and just he's into conspiracies
recent like he's a scientist, essentially in a lot of ways. Not I won t is a guy who's, very educated and intellectually curious, and so he tries to figure out what it is about, people that makes them gravitate towards these unlikely scenarios that they believe that the government is sprang right. Chemicals in the sky and all you care about this guy's that he's a paid disinformation agent, which I know not to be true. I know it's retro, but people want to believe that can share its more it's more exciting,
If there's like big secrets out, there certainly is giving you you ever we hear that shit in your life. I mean I don't now take about that stuff. You know so when I hear like
there's a part of me that doesn't believe-
even though I know it has happened for sure they ve covered stuff up, like I think like that, come on you can't do that shit
I think, that's out of the world is when we talked about earlier. The Nixon story gets out that I tweeted today. That's a perfect example of.
There. There is fuck area in the world like Nixon tested. The waters of like trying to see this
support for military coup against Congress. That stuff does happen, look Watergate did happen. They did spy on people did record
What state did have rightly did higher. The baby did take the National Guard and make them breakup student protest and shoot students shoot american
students nonviolent non armed. They did that in our day they did there's a lot of shit. That's been done so I think conspiracies or real, but I think that
The problem is that most people don't go into any scenario with an open mind: they they don't really
try to find out all the facts. They have a predetermined idea that they want to live. They want that conclusion to be. They want to be valid. They want to validate their conclusion more than they want to objective. We look at the truth. Yeah, that's a fuckin, huge problem. There! That's your problem, while I click is another thing
say we were talking about like You'Re- a good guy right, but if somebody wanted a fine dirt on you, if they wanted to dig deep human president, take it Jain something fucked up about you well in finding a fucked up thing about you that one fucked up think they could decide where Crystal Leah he got drunk want jerked. Oftenest girls, hair and
ass. All they could decide. He is a chronic masturbating in girls hair while their drunk like this is what it is all doubts
this whole white right everything else is just setting himself up, so he could jerk off erroneous hair like like they decide that way,
thing you ve done you made of below you are,
it is. We were all the time, though fine one asked
DE personality that kneeled may,
be it did. This wants or may be ran a red light and others say he's a fuckin reckless driver red with guy runner shall read like butter, this guy's an asshole. Did you see this tony Stewart?
no. I do not know what happened ran over guy he's NASCAR driver and he ran off
we are talking about on the way home.
And we are driving home from the Jolla. We did not enjoy San Diego. This weekend, didn't
and called rightly I need, and as we are driving back it was bright. Moon was breaking right and tony steward who's. This big time, ass car driver ran over a guy in this dirt race with were those called Sprint Sprint car think rent a car. They they ride. There is crazy cars that weird looking cars, public wings on and they drive around the dirt and he hit the skies car. The guy got out of the car and was yelling at Tony Stuart tones to random over with his car.
To really fucked up. He meant to do it, see that's where things get weird. He says absolutely not, of course, as the the local cops whoever investigated it did not pressing charges, they think it was a total accident, but
now, because of that everybody starts pulling up all the different shit disguised,
right. Past drive of core has apparently is Bob People's cars. Before is a very aggressive driver and there's been a lot of aggressive drugs. I ate I'm completely new to this
I don't follow. Racy ended the door, but twenty hinge cliff does in hinge. Cliff was a wand, told me that Tony steward is known for being this, like really super aggressive,
ever so now, I'm reading all this stuff online and these people just bring up all these times in the past. Where,
He's clipped cars has yelled at people or peoples. Is you know it's a maniac in their concentrating
all on this, the negative aspects of this guy all night,
aspects to treatment who it I dont understand
when this, because they want to believe that he hit randomly hit him on purpose. They want to believe that
hit the gas when is near the guy, because he knew the ass in the car would kick out, and the ass in the car kicked out. The guy get run over right like it's
It is one of those things where, when something happens, if something goes wrong, people will find the one
one thing or the Epp and then concentrate here.
Only on that instead of like me, this is pure speculation on the exact. What happened instead of you know, maybe he'd
Dr Aggressive, and knock that guy in the wall and the guy got out of his fucking car and the guy was on the track, yelling, Adam and
I dont understand never raised. I don't know what it's like, but I would imagine that there's some really fuckin split. Second,
decision, we are sure flying around attract new sea, a guy on the fuckin track, pointing at you
I would imagine that the decisions like the pro and can do this and you
ok do that that guy's gonna die there.
Such a small window of error, because his guys
walking around on a fucking restrain. You that's what I get your car walk around right, but
these people, all online I've, been looking at it all day. Yesterday. All
we're saying that he killed the sky, so many people are blaming him for it. Well, that's also the people who write on the internet, though that's true. No, you not. I mean yes true, but even eye witnesses, people who were there.
At the time I don't know maybe on the best example, because I know it's a good example. It definitely is, but this kind of a lot of evidence. It he's a wild man. Well, that's, but that, but what you're saying
different than fuckin giant run over gradually, but it could be that he was China like bump. Anyone like you is Toronto model,
car and instead he confessed was again. I don't know. I said twenty five or thirty five is undercover native enough ass. It was under caution, so that's enough as raw soothing at twenty five would be able to
hit the manoeuvre where did he did he hit is gas. They don't know, that's why people are singing european, maybe muted, the obvious. You can't hear that there is also a lot of people yelling. They disputed the ATA prices and general. Let's
I was watching the iron into line it. It's fucked up to watch doesn't know a guy died, but I gotta watch that should give us our faces. A death shit yeah. I watched it when I was a kid I was like now. I can watch us anymore today. Kids, so spoiled
they could just Google murder and just watch hundred video aware. Where do you can watch it? Should our lab leak, lively, dotcom, lively action, scary, it is scary its whilst our hip hop, plus murder,
Liveleak is like all the most fucked up things on the internet like it hears it. Let's go full screen in this shit, so we get a good look at it.
She does cause they like dump trucks where we live in a powerful it's on dead spent. Yet sometimes does that when you go full screen rent get it together, bitters my lost, but you gotta beach by their color. Will we get a beach ball from that? That's it we'll cut off and try again reboot it or for sugar and take a long time. Peace should computer. Why we still have a computer? Is Europe any benefit,
talk about the software saving and pulled up the see reportable. Another site does while another side up, but that's a NASCAR guy, just our college. Ok yeah he's a NASCAR guy
but that was announced that wasn't NASCAR forms Adam
Frazier raise? Why think those guys that
stay race in all kinds of shit they just
just like just gimme a fuckin corneas. It's like us with colleagues Gimme. Some reality do crystallized coffee shop here. What the fuck is going on NBC show a play laundromat onto a coffee shop, I gotta, do him, do do open likes. You show a bit like we're.
Barton do sets, and ever since I started getting into clubs like few years ago, and just
like some of them are your dogs, year dogs and then not pretend or awesome, and then you get to the gig in their like
buzz coffee? You know, I mean why what exactly they, because it's just like, because
can be ok, there's gonna be an audience at a comedy club, so go they write a real audience and you know
I don't know somebody somebody's all rooms are fucking awesome, but then
like some of them are your dogs, yet
and then not pretend awesome, and then you get to the gig in their like last year.
Was grey up and let me tell you forgot the desire not to our rooms real weird in that, like rooms like almost like everyone's making agreement put as little energy as possible here,
you come along and you got a we already ass, Dick whoa whoa. What are you doing here?
You knew this warming or room when he trying to be funny. The Chinese are to be found
retrying believes
there's a stigma in all rooms. On trying to entertain. You dont want to try the untried by
thought to that idea. I D say: write a book read a book now
want you to be on stage and be like that, but that's guy not to me, I mean look, did a fuckin something or come whenever or funny funny. I'm gonna fuck! You know something's or comic is hilarious. Somewhat more fuckin hilarious, very few bore comics very few workers. However Virgil, comics or Heller it S. True, too
but at all comics, it's very few very few. It's been a while, since I've been to one of those true through on you know like meltdowns Gooden shit. Yes, like
is that all those now it's not it's not! It's like Chris hard work whose on call
central right! It's his thing. I guess you're right yeah, you wanna fuck it.
Coolly the whole room, just fuckin run right through it yeah I don't know. A lot of those all chose
Will you put them out? You put some of those guys up on a comedy starts like death. It's it's a yet different. It's a different yeah yeah! Well, that's why they they
built those rooms in the frame. First, vice right, that's why those rooms exist. So that's why I'm saying if you get the comedy clubs, gonna Fuckin, comedy club yeah, those
were painted comedy, and it has a word comedy in the Fuckin thing Comedy club yeah, that's what it's for yeah, it's not fuckin. You know buzz car buzz coffee, yeah, Freddy Soto, stop doing
was a long time ago before he died. He he's tell people there always ask him, you know: hey
do my room I get here is now I had a guy
ok, kindly clubs. I had a guy the other night. I know his name, but you so that you can restore they'll, be like fuckin you'll, be literally
Jim carry will show up, and then somebody be like hey. We
my documentary and you're like all liked it just fucking,
relax there. You know I mean I was coming.
As a show- and I was at the comedy store and then some kid was like: hey man,
as one and if you want to come back to my room and set up, but where is it? What is it is yet some its votes is its on Saturday night and its pizza place and uh. You know we can't pay you, but we also, if you like to fifteen minutes, have liked PETE would have repeated you up.
And I said you have to repeat yourself- because I I think I heard what you said- you didn't
did you say it again, any said again and I said dude I I can't be doing
I didn't know how to say it was like. I can't be doing it, gave me doing your pizza
I said you want me to perform an end and for pizza, as I can't be doing it,
I turned to the guy that was next
was that wasn't with me or him, and I said the youth
this guy and I was turned out to be a dick, but I was I was amazing, but it's hard to not be like
a brow. I'm on billboards it's hard to do that. I might
fuel television, real tv show it's hard to not be a dick yeah nigh note. You saying it's
So weird situation, when someone ass, you do somewhat that, but to them it's like
each time you know that's how they get stage tat. They see you like. Maybe crystal, do my room, the price,
what those rooms is most of them,
but there are not there to see comedy now to accommodate a pizza pairs sitting. This way eating pizza, China stages over there and you're you're interrupting really it it's like it's kind of rude solitude,
set up and play a song safe use.
You D S own out and listen to music and eat and no problem. But if you like-
talking about you're right Euro cousin that Debian enough. That requires you to pay its pay attention. Yeah, yes, I'll fuckin story, yeah to somebody who was not listening to the story. Right you'll have like twenty people in the crowd and at any given time.
One person will be paying attention to story, but they'll
you and that a new personal patents fragmented that's how he could the level of vigour dead, like in short, bursts exactly so. You have the video now Jamie and I said yeah, maybe ok, so here's the deal
that really is weird wings they have in their cars. Are we have seen so he sat on the eye out. Ok, ok, so he lets backed up. So we can see what happens
so that's the guy that he hit first year. That's the bag, it all the way up. The going around the corner
clipped the guy with his teddy ok yeah, looked like his his tire bumped and the guy. The guy spun around. There are flying right. This guy gets out so this guy's pissed
he climbed out of his car, although any point until you you fucker you hit me, you fuckin hit me why this is crazy cars, crazy they just hit by their crimes. Woe.
Man, Sierra Leone, off now we ve got about twenty five miles an hour roughly and there's some people were able to avoid him. You'd think that they be able to avoid him. I mean it looks pretty bad you just from I don't know anything
but Jesus Christ. Whether also saying that when you hit the gas like your,
and kicks out, because it's all dirt sash ride around right. So when you his, he hit the gas on purpose maiden,
das Eliza like he was gonna hit it up the guy, like you, gonna bump, on the way. He would certainly know that as a driver yeah. Well, that's about Diego another man. That's crazy
well, the what's the craziest thing about that the guy got out guys crazy, Fucker forget not like that and then running on the track and voiding cars and pointing at this guy. Like you, fucking
It is to me. Why also isn't that the game to do that to somebody, I don't think
now I don't allowed, or there is no rule about apparently
no rule about accidentally honey as non getting out in the car. I'm sorry I'm getting out of order,
it must be on the track. What you mean? There's no rule, they don't have a rule about that. Like the denial, it's it's not illegal to get your car comes. A european yesterday was hearing no debate about. Should they make
about this fuck yeah. You should make a rule in you're, fuckin car. We crazy! You crazy! You, because you ve got clipped in the car. He private of advice
You know like some came on and guys or he did get clicked on a car. It was fine.
Yeah exacerbated in at high speed right then that there were at a caution on a regular, maybe only disdain you can get out. If your cars on fire forget to life. Life live ten usage,
yeah that makes sense
yeah.
Watch it like that man. I saw an image of the guise of the terrorist attack in those three heads on the fucking thing. If you saw that, but that's like I remember the fur
one from the Iraq war worry, we watched a guy, get his head cut off on video and you can watch it why men? I cannot
I like it like even two girls, one cup, unlike oh, she sits in her mouth good, yeah, yeah,
oh isn't there, a video of you watching that that's right. I saw that video. Barely I had its, I posted fear factor for six years and I still have to turn away all the shit that I've seen be. You could throw up in front of me and it never. I dont gag, like my that's, like gum in charge of throw up around my house at any time anybody throw
and I just by my little girl, throw up. I always clean it up with my wife. Just give it to me like I handle it. Doesn't
right right, I'm immune to puke like it used to be when I was a kid so me, through up in the room
All this extra saliva would be my mouth with Ba and I would
to look aware? I throw up if someone threw up in the hallway I began, but not now it's over. I cleaned up. If the other night,
my my little girl my four year old sick, threw up in the bed who cleans it up me like go in there towels and shit, picking up the fucking, the picking up all the sheets, putting up the puke into a big.
Puke, like that Wurzel Stork things at the store carried the day, asked my dad first time I threw up my mind when I was a kid. My dad's star wars, like you know, you know, what's happening your body, you know like what the heck I feel weird like nauseous and my dad like identified in you as I oh you're gonna, throw up like this is normal. Like global you, I don't know
Thirty two stupid jack and I don't know young young young, you Know- and I was like you're gonna, you gonna, throw up and it's gonna be fine and I will show us,
no what's going on in animals, and he d turn me to him and he said: look it's fine just throw up!
me going gonna throw up, and it's gonna to
go all over me and its fine. Any said that made me relax when he said that I just
and throb all over. But as this one cute, I thought, but it was like. I decided when you think about it: the first time that shit happens with you as like you're, like you like that scarier shit yeah, it's scary,
the first time, India you like what's happening- is something trying to get out of my body,
food poisoning, the worst yeah food poisoning, the worst when
when you're, just when it's coming out you're you're screamin it out Billina mean violent
genetic rooms always Nina. Why should he would at once? You ve got a couple times, but I had a real bad one time in Illinois: awful couldn't clenched fist, millions were so work of soap and I just spent the entire night puking shitting Bali ways. We are. What can you do to prevent some atomic garlic? Someone told me if you're, if you have like some funky shit inside your stomach, the Eet raw garlic,
Raw garlic apparently destroys like a lot of bad bacteria. Is gonna sit down near the toilet, is for her aloud and Dale Sun and you shouldn't puke by heard garlic. Her garlic is
did you ever to take so long to get down there, you're fucking shit imputing. While the way I broke you put in your ass flocking Chaucer down, given an express delivery boy put it on the end of my family lawyer. It hits the
economic shit, I'm just good right angles. Right down. Like I shoot yeah, they figure that out. There should be a way to scan things. We find out get food poisoning. Not just wasn't someone come out with a scanner, something which can breathe
contents of the food with o this. Equally, all your fuckin salad, don't it
number one thing, the people get sick, firmly salad
Oh yeah, yeah. I know that sounds bad before can sound year. Salad gives people food boys. I know it was meat, but some
fish yeah, you think it like bad fish or bad me. Salad is because they don't
not wash. Yes, I wash right, but there will always be were dying from spinach. Its causes spent
was tainted with equal. I ass waste from the air from cows and children found what those of electronic knows its nerve cell food poisoning. Why? What's up sniff study call? I think you come on a microphone what new?
chronic, no sniffs out food is an amazing when you, you say something. Thinking like this is now completely twenty years away completely impossible. Now
we can ever come up with something that has a past really works checks, the freshness and quality of meat, poultry and fish. What in its an app? What's the ep? Crawler downloader fucker right now, I am. I am proud to have an extra somethin
I like it here is no, what you just take your phone and forget all advice: p, r, youth, p, r e ass. Yet that's what it's called out. I'm download that bitch right now and see if it works and put it on crystal clear and see. If he's Annabelle p r S occur. Vinos worlds: first, portable egos in its eyeless injured mobile app enables users to determine quality, freshness of meat, poultry and fish and whether it's gone bad and could potentially cause food quit him. It's called p r. Yes, what's the name of the Epp
what does it develop per se Parrys or peer purees, Parrys, rear, p, r e s, but as this available already met problem and assume no yeah, because as and when
went to p r? Yes, it gives me some Russian should back to that spy perestroika. That's what gives you yes here. That's that's. What comes up is the very
Russian writing and shit see if it says it is actually available yet pull the video blitz, listen to it ass in the sand and adjust clear pleasant to begin.
So we can actually that fuckin, bullshit b
its go into a green thing: detecting food in the USA, seventy six million cases resulting in three hundred and twenty five thousand hospitalization, five thousand fragile, Plaza estimate.
That was our talk like that. But in the U S, three million people,
It sounds like bullshit already numbers, so
many six cases of food borne illnesses resulting in three to five zero zero did just five thousand deaths are estimated to correct your
we share. That. Doesn't surprise me. That surprises you at a lot really through
many people out and have those true love people, but five thousand deaths from food borne illness. I played up each year the Paris story began to who created the device collaborated with scientists from countless university of Technology in Lithuania after more than a year, but research and develop the team is now created a second within prototype of the Paris device. Paris works by taking a sample of the air from around the poor, beast, poultry or fish by detecting the concentration of volatile organic compounds.
Another gas is in the sample and adjusting them according to temperature and humidity. It calculates the freshness and quality of the food product was a sensor array and Bluetooth technology data are transmitted directly to a smartphone or tablet for calculation of
data users, so it's a thing to help them make transfers smells repudiated and safety of their poor beef, poultry.
Pensive here and discuss the volume of our budgets breaks. Forty call your mouth Joe ideas, the parties that things are concluded with an attractive stream gear.
If it's another, devise methods for economically but saying it's a prototype, so it's not ready. I read it on your island, but there's a prototype Brighton. We ask
earlier. We address this guy
We asked leave contribution not only for my family but for Europe as well.
They give me money and I want to make this
a sword regarded works. I switched to good in mother Russia, a promise you and swear to an achievement.
Who, if I make enough money, I can make way.
Vow with her.
In spite of relieving northern. Surely
This treasure Edward Snowden and come with me to make food safe for everyone give money to kick start the Airways.
Fuckin kick started. Man, I'm getting a little annoyed with people's kick started.
People that have Kickstarter the leg for their own business and they actually have money already like whatever happened, just investing your fuckin money. You know why might later
still money from our budget, but isn't that how investment works are now mean they did you get other people invested yeah but kick started like like it's it's so
the kick started ones reply. I don't know much about Kickstarter. All I know is that people are given Zack brash it, and I don't think that that's cool that their given our Zagreb was the guy who made the garden state. They are from Scrubbs. Ok and
put out a kick started to make fund his next film and p
given money to make his next film, and I think that that's cool, why people give him.
Because they're like well he's made a lot of money. Why didn't he do it? It's like we're talking about as how investment works,
yeah, I guess so. It is in that I say you put it that way, though. Actually Kickstarter makes sense, because
but because of their like will because movies costs, while because move because millions of dollars that's, why engaged at many dollars, but what kind of fuckin asshole come back,
eggs, Marianna potatoes into a male Gibson right,
raising the ash. Yet that's all you got riches fuck now, but meanwhile things which spoken now really no parallel took a beating, melted bath. The Ex wife got a big
the year the girlfriend when she recorded on yelled? No, that was a girlfriend. I wasn't a wife that was to some russian checking knocked up.
But I was with Russians man,
spyin, unrecorded, spying, recording very early in the day around the russian very mercenary without was perfect. What does this potato salad kid s? Written in dollars? May potatoes on Kickstarter Nina gettin over fifty five thousand dollars. So what happens with that? He gets to keep that my he's actually gonna, throw a party in Columbus and have a big concert and devote donated by thirty five thousand dollars to charity and start nonprofit. That's a nice guy,
That's just a updated version of PET rock yeah. You know that the girl may the pet Rock made a fuckin could Gillian dollars PET Rock made.
Lot of. How can I know? I remember that I was a kid, but that was going on the pet rock ridiculous I picked up was at the seventies. Does before me
I think I believe, a guy, basically package rock rocks and that's it and so
and being stores before internet. Yes, not one person bought them, not millions implementing Amis, the pet rock made. Would you guess I wanna bet, I want to say, made fifty million but really get Jesus? How much you think I can't be fifty abatement of off my back. I want you think I'd say a few million through
four million. Ok marketing Tyrker. What's I don't know much about it, I'm a few million. That's it how? I guess I'd like to believe that PET Rock millionaire offers new method to get stoned and actual coupon copy of a newspaper. How much is going back development doesn't say how can the Wikipedia not say that I would think that will be one of the first things of people. One point: five million pat rocks. Oh so then at least
Does it cost a few dollars right? The fad lasted about six months, ending after short, increase in sales during the Christmas season of December, one thousand nine hundred and seventy five time, although by February one thousand nine hundred and seventy six they were discounted, do to lower sales. He sold one point: five million
rocks and became a million crazy, a thirty two page,
fish training, Manual, tire titled, the care and training of your pet rock was included with instructions on how to properly rays and care for one's new pet rock, notably net lacking instructions for feeding bathing central poorer. So if across five bucks, Homeboy made a lot of-
Made following twenty twenty bucks: now you can still by the shed its financing that Rock Dhaka same company thing since nineteen, seventy five woe since then, he saw ten
nineteen thirty five he's all. Why am I realized? I got real bad slipped off. Do have restrictions for great after Watergate scary squarely about the money I blame them.
Evan didn't miss Gibson. One was probably won't we're just plan where
Stan, Kramer or the same worse. I think
not now, while the Kramer one was worse because it was videotaped right. That's true!
you saw in his eyes hate, that's true.
No gifts in your like me, but he's
actor and you heard it and who knows so funny it was fucked up.
Just shut up and blow me, I was
fucked up. They were getting a window into this guy. I kind of feel like you should be able to say whatever you want on in your house and end it. They can't you set against you. Well definitely
especially because there's a lot of times like we're talking about jokes like I have this old bid, my act about
the difference between someone joking and eyes? I saw you do it again, but the point is
like that when you're on stage and a comical abuse should assume that someone's fucking around right, because the union
what you came to see. You know you can write a common will win
at home. You don't expect that other people are going to hear what you're sorry. So, there's a lot of sense.
We'll just say? Fucked up Chinese say it and not even mean it. Your falcon can, I hope, you're right at the bottom of a million by the rail of dog shit and by the way, your by yourself when you say that yeah may, because why not Europe,
go home and you're alone or you're at home, and you ve got you dig in your hand, and you talk in your girlfriend. The phone and
being an asshole to you and you shouldn't won't come over nonsense. It yeah sieges screams because you're drunk you scream
horrible obscenity, I don't mean at all now and the next day it's on the internet. You like, I, was fucking key
No, I wasn't being serious the others statements. There's public statements.
And then there's things that can be turned into public statements. If they record you and then just Transmundane, that's what happened with male Gibson that destroyed him. He was a giant soup.
Star really did really limit was more just the,
business of things that weren't going well for him or was he was he was at the top of your camera when they have to use of the time. It was good enough to things happen. To think that
the anti semite thing, diet,
to me. That was what buried him by the anti semite thing was. There was no recording right right. No, I don't think there was once a contest. The Cox report, everything I don't think there was not enough.
Was. I dont think, though I don't believe it got out locally, but I do believe that the cops were saying that mail gives
We call them Jews and saying right. The Jews, control, Holly Rain, re rice that right and also his dad is like
all across right. I am, and also
drunk driving right, yes, rights
the that that, in its
it's just like all he's a fuck up. Those things are all bad
drunk driving and screaming about you write that people frowned upon those
combination really you're screaming positive things about Jews
Are you just again year not as much as we are
even though some validity in your eye, open your door card or put a beer cans fall far less you'll die out
love corned beef.
Ngos are they share. His right now is
it is apparently a serious anti semite, but the enough of those things. Few, a few of those things, are very
yeah, you know, and if your screamin about fuck, you can't come over lawyer, we also think it is a mental illness aspect. To a too, I think some people
but you do have some wrong, but also how do you be famous for forty years and super stupid
How did that? But yet no not famous like you're on a show run,
he's male fuckin Gibson, he's
he's madman. How do you be famous that famous
for forty years and just be like be normal. We have doubts on crews with pull some Cruises Tom Cruise
best, I think, you're, but when I see him cracking
but sometimes crazy right, I know
but you see him holding it together. What when it was only today show and whose talk about did Matt
whose name was Matt loudly Malaria about psychedelic or second
drug right, oh yeah, yeah, keeping glibly about very grub shields, and he ever why but dude
let me take some right now. There's no fuckin way. If I was Tom Cruise
Dude I won't even beyond the today show, might be why ready
No, no, no, no I'm saying they do. I wouldn't be allowed there, because I would already have fucked up complete our beyond buildings, scream and shit out pie.
It even negative about just every year.
Just just just who care just. I would be the worst sky there's no way. I am
organ show kind of, and that already I'm alright
yet not. Do you think that
More power to Tom Countries is amazing for that
getting to the average person could ever understand what it would be like to be scrutinised on just the level that your scrutinised on
being a being on a show. Haven't people talk
shit about you online reading twitter pages, we Reno com,
beginning with pick appeal at sea.
People talk about you in just a train that may well it's hard to not respond to every single one. It's hard to its hard to. I saw lady with a fuckin crazy, had, on the other day at the airport and ensures a black lady and, I said: hey
I said something about how this hat looks like you put. Chips on the top in Guatemala are on the side of it, and people just wrote racist. No,
Perhaps we are looking you're ready
I remain unknown, like girl was black until we were signals are going. I guess you'd like you, does nothing
fuckin races, Nevada, Racist Tom, for
six,
as I said, some respond to them, I say
As I do. I drive a bit about it that I do sometimes only those like the guy. I didn't with thing with there,
Fuck, you fuck, you is it. I say to the person off.
Whole families, and they know that there is a right back. I'm eight
and it was ain't. He was in fact an eight year old. You never know what these people are. That is a problem with a lot of time to do like little kids, you gettin into things with little
but it's you know you don't know because you just fine, you are I brow and your borders shit you're on the road I'm coming for. You did
I used to get in those. I gotta think you can. Imagine you didn't. I can't imagine you didn't you like the two,
of comedians on the toolbar over them just like fuckin like I'll get you you're, not I mean if this happened, I'll fuck with you
get you. I had a guy was a tweeting back or was Myspace Myspace me back and forth when they have a really mean shit to me and then just engaged him and went back.
And then I put it online. I put
ho gravitation online people had some Adam is timid? Twenty, I don't know he's twenty nine.
But then I started commenting on what I was doing when I was twenty in how he's a loser in comparison to me? That's funny. She evidently act, but people, but people will be like young people be like like all just
we'll make fought, will say: you're, you're, shitty or whatever and I'll just I'll look at their picture and I'll be
Euro six, like that's how good looking Europe
a guy or girl, either an end. Then
and then and then I'll, get a job
you cool doing what yeah, but you entered
octagon. I am. I am so I make fun of things, that's what
do for a living right. So if you tweet me,
fuck, you and your show you. You entered the octagon right that the dawn, but then the other p.
Or public the other people that argument involved and then they'll come after you not cool right, that's
that is where you get
fact and in Europe, but you know what dude,
over its wasted energy misleading. Always- and you should you outline stop doing you should not engage you show now. You do not do definite. That's the right thing to do. The right thing to do is find the ones that are worthy and make them jokes.
Strengthening right people said you and turn them into bits against the person. He said something to you
That way, you not even addressing them personally taken what they said and bring it to the stage like. Well, that's what I did with
yeah, yeah yeah. That's the way to do it,
As a way of getting promise, if you get any time it publicly,
beginning to any sort of notification like this is one of the things that I learned about. The
I want to see a situation when, when the thing with Carlos went down, which
If I had to do it again, I want to ask you that I would do it again in that case, what that guy that guy's a bad guy, what he did was bad it. What he did with what people saw was a tenth of what he did. Not he oh what he did. He would go on stage in front guys and do their best bits and then bring them up really on tv shows. He did it. Johnny Sanchez had a bit funny. Fuckin bet he's still doesn't
Johnny Centres, funny guy was always at the store is funny. He had a great bit about these persian next door. Neighbor people are always parking spot and the gout freak out
we got with broken English right and he's fucking parking in my fucking pot. All right you have recently. I bet yes out of its very far too crazy for words that these parking about park mincing it does it on stage on television before brings Johnny centres upon a telephone
he was hosting local slam. One shows an Johnny was gonna.
Johnny was the next act going to do that, bit: job
Why doesn't matter on bed says closing bit solvency? It does it before it brings them up.
Ugly and no one, was doing aiming about it. No, the agents nor the clubs
no one was doing anything about it and when you bring it up, they would say this is just business by this. Is that like the little girl,
said to me. Oh really, girl said to me. You know when they asked me: no apologize dementia right or they were gonna drop me really yeah. They dropped him up
I told them. I would never work with them again. Is there I like right, I said art or conversations over. I said: look you guys really.
Made this decision form is nowhere could ever work with you. Knowing that you would you guys
You yourself are that myself,
comedian works. We right, we sitting.
We set ourselves. We come up with ideas, we write things down the car. We take these ideas which are craft and return tournament, a bit like we all do it and in which,
they do is they come along and they sell that? Aren't they say: hey Crystal
he has got a new our that he put together and
you can go on the road and he's gonna give us ten percent
so there's selling your art right and this guy was a vampire whose stealing, from the artist
and they were selling the vampires work. They were selling what he had done, but all you ve done is like
Hake from these other artists and peace together but was off. Thievery was all theft and then
we're talking to them when they were saying that he was a bigger star than me at the time and gradually was especially when it came to
movies and television- shows because he had me
I'm a sea area, and it was after I was done- do in fear factor into they didn't have me for film. I was with another cup another agency. They only had me for standard
and so we have this situation when they were saying that I had to apologize Jack storm and in their eyes it was just business right, and so I would have done it again just because it it needed to be done like there was a real problem. There wasn't
like there is like a few minor in our eyes plagiarism or there is parallel,
thank you guys did jokes,
a similar subjecting you think that what I came up with the other guys bit, it was used for the worst plagiarists of ever seeing while an up a bully with
like I'm a mean guy, like you, like the Sanchez thing, that's crazy! That's that's! That's weird! He would bump guy
when they were headlines like like there would be headline for the first time a Brad Williams arise. Bravely answer was Adam FEAR, which guy was but is first gig headline. Monsieur shows up does a guess, bond farmer for forty five minutes and its first ever had lining gig like guys. Finally, there and men see just goes up and steals is thunder for forty five minutes. I think it was actually someone else to figure out who was, but it wasn't. The only time is done. I q guys their name would be in the Marquis. He would show up and bump them. I d bumping was a big thing. We'd gone right before the thing sneak right in my point. Is that the negative,
stop that I got from that. I did the people that when two people see or want to people fighting and then all the public at the time in their opinion right, then you
just open yourself up to dislike, attack right you're right. Am I right
you totally most people were on my side, but most
Why doesn't mean everybody right? If there's a million people around my side? It was three hundred thousand that were angry at me. You know in the three thousand slowly eroded two zero right. It did overtime like he still gets hate. I don't get it
from that right like over time, it was proven that I was correct. Nobody saw the bill cause Bethink. All these other comedians came out, and then he did Mark Marin. It ever hear those podcast
they did. I think I did while ago yeah was that bad or a member at the bone. Curl really
God like curdling a member at all. It was ugly because you got to see like how crazy
firstly, the first one man was: can Ojeda White yeah, but the second one
was he came back onto address things at all? These other comedians had said about him. All these other community talked about and stealing and then he sort of fell apart, fell apart, the second one, and then he did that I am comic documentary and admitted on ice
comically steals people stuff and re works. It sort of like a wrapper samples. They really yeah any Yoshida pulled up on ice hope. Just pull up men see admits to stealing in. I am comic it's really, but what what he did was. It was, after years and years of pressure like he's, been open about the fact that he had to go to therapy because of all this, and he suggested a beaten man me look at him, he's only forty thousand twitter followers and he's had forty thousand tutu of twitter followers for years and mean that is who that guy is now a curious like skinned people out there are gonna ask: why did they interview Carl's about this? Carlos is a joke. Leave Carl steals jokes, and we know this and listen to me.
And look at me when I say this with all honesty, if you think that I still jokes yeah, you're right course, I'm fuckin still jobs. Out of your fucking mind when I come to a comedy club, you better run bitch, you better get the fuck off stage, because if anything you say is even remotely funny, I'm gonna make it mine and all I'm gonna
It's a Mexican in the front, unlike wrapper just sample shit and make it my own was really my son. I don't know what it sounds like mine,
sounds like somebody else's bitch, while my crazy, but
Was he juggling like war? What is he?
sherry gazers! That's exactly! Does
says he's joking. That does exist
right right thing: that's it that's what he does at weird elsewhere,
Do that cracking whose cracking
years and years and years and years and years and years and years of people fuckin yell at him and everywhere it goes and thought and thief, and then they thought they wasn't really Maxie. Tantalum Atkins got matrimony, o yo Yo Yo Yo, you yeah, that's weird man yeah, it's not good, but.
De. The initial point was that that, in that situation, some had to be done, but for the most part
Engaging with someone is not worth right, especially publicly, unless you have like something really important approve when you do it publicly manages open yourself up to so much so many idiots opinion some activity
it is not worth its harbour. You do in interviews, though, and then somebody ass, your certain questions regarding in trouble, the air and then you can get at it.
Actually, like does not want to fuck and even said the enemy inside. What is going to be better ways, better ways to discrimination.
Ways to get a point across, and then
way and not thinking, but also
in the in this time we live, and now it's all sound bite shit and when you're asking
somebody a question about like I didn't. Every four have posted it was like date. They asked me about some, and then it took it.
Of that, and they put a lot of the headline and exciting now falkiner one. You know the meaning of the word of what you say. It was a very noisy yeah. It's like that's, not fair,
Now that's weird man I do, and then that goes back to you know me saying it's like look. I think I'm a guy and you fuckin. They took down
Spot it, you know, I mean, and young people take things out of context. Context is everything it it's everything it really is, and the ability to take things in quotes like I've had people take, quotes that I said like on a twitter like just a twitter Gioia and write a whole belong
bout right and come up with always weird assumptions of how I feel about things and write this whole blog about it. Why do they do that? Because, because it's a cheap shock that need
thing to do because it's an easy way to get their attendant. Tanzania hot shit, about rascally. You know ever they know
crystallized known character, o crystallizing, ass off the hook, a crystal clear row, or what a piece of shit right now in all they'll do things about that's one of the reasons why twitter is kind of funky and away it's like more everyone's famous yeah boats. Also, it's your honor for
characters is just not enough. I was Gagnon on a year now, that's totally through its decision
dinner, really get to the heart of what someone thinks about it, and you're just gonna get some weird snippet and that you have the kind of peace together and in like, especially when it's a joke right, like I'll, say, fucked up things on twitter,
dont really mean just as a joke here and then people will decide. This is actually your opinion. You know. That's true lawyer
they can't hear like I, don't I don't like you. No, I don't I'm not into sports. You know and hour when the World CUP is on. I was just talking about how stupid sport
But let us make jokes, you know and as if look, if you're a kid in your car
sport is a way out. That's fucking! Awesome right! I'm not! I don't think that
It's an asshole, you know, but we were sent me death threats, cook the world,
as a weird I don't
Its super attacks that they were like enrolled in sports dominated this thing right would make like quick videos of like were opposite, be at a bar and the World CUP
go on and then some people each year and I will be like it doesn't matter it doesn't. Arabs discriminate, doesn't matter and people were like you
fucking piece of shit. You're. Still
that doesn't matter of sports matter and, unlike were you know, shit dude, I'm dead, walking around guess words than it does now. You know, unless you like stand in its way.
Hocker, as a matter of you know, like soccer.
Yeah, I was. I was working on a bit about
the annoying white guy that pretends he like soccer more than he really Georgia, which is like a real in Hollywood. This fucking
so children, were we were beaten dinner this place and the World CUP was on the background and there is in knowing why guys that were screaming. Whenever the USA, one or the USA scored a goal there like jumping around you and a high fighting each other, just like
it was. I was like yours I it is,
wrong with rooting for a team, but there's something artificial about the way they are doing, and it was just too obvious right. Well
because it's also its every four years they forget about.
Two years after that, and then it comes
again in their like oh yeah, fuck. It were you not yet also.
You're, not with your parliament, even watching the Fucking USA game. There will again have learned about Swan. I'd, say you don't fuckin care, I'm ruin for joy,
many Germany's always when my team of
I love you. I love Germany, it's like I can't
I I don't like anybody who gets too
in the sauce and just like they're, just like fuck yeah man and like that's, not your life dude, but my family.
The particular fascination about the World CUP, because I find it very
The interesting that soccer gets it doesn't
the needle at all outside of the World CUP
ignoble about soccer in America when they try to sell David Beckham. They brought David Byrne.
To allay and they paid something like an ungodly amount of money to have that's where I don't give a fuck no gave a fly too. I forgot about that. I forgot about health. I gave a fuck
spent so much money to bring David Beckham tat to allay to play soccer and only
people, the wife's soccer and layer Mexicans right. They love soccer in Mexico,
It has a long history of of of soccer yeah, as does England, but not America there.
The english guy or to America the play soccer.
Nobody's like yeah where's Paley eating Black Fox Brazilians.
Soccer. Do you know that there's a lot of countries that love Soccer United States is not one of them now they want us talking to be big know what it is.
So they tried is really higher. Tattooed up english guy bring over chicks, went to soccer games. I know girls that went to see a fucking soccer games. There were in love with
it back right, but that then last cause they don't care about socket. Plus there was a bunch drunk MAC skin. I thought about vast. They don't,
what gives easier world soccer in America?
why meets its more exciting than baseball birthing suckers
where s has more aside man just because downtime in baseball, it's mostly downtime yeah, it's more exciting!
and that is why, like baseball because does
cast of the children
because you are you not realizing he'll get it. I slept
Maybe I should go to sea baseball games and I lived in Boston, Fenway Park. You don't
we have the potential to baseball game. That's what's so great and go get a hot dog. Come back, be like that. I still up. Yet, if you
to be there when a great moment happens makes a great catch a great, not a great home run right, but still too, if you tried inventing baseball today people I wait. Wait where I am sure it will be. This game is retarded linguistic you. So you have now
in English and what happens if his tie these key moraines you keep plan. Now I will let you know what that's actually to me, that's better than what soccer does, which is here, the spade different game now
you just spoken under you undersold your whole game by saying it's tied. Let's do different game. You play agenda
play. Jenna Playfrock engender you jerk you're, just gonna, kick
the goal now, which is the exciting part, which is what should adjust stuff. That's how it started by the whole. Sport should be
taking a park. You would go to shoot out or Forky. I can't watch it. I counted here's. What should happen baseball nine.
Things at the end of nine innings if its tied the game still over, they gotta hit, ok, whereas
hits winds same hits. Then you got a fucking errors. If other team has more errors, they lose dude. He should restructure baseball. That's what it! You know,
In my mind, that's what it is. That's a good idea. That is actually a good idea. Yes, why do you keep play? You said colors, less nine innings, always Diana Wallis, gotten of law. With that problem now, because would, if, like one
team scored a run because they got four hits. I gotta.
First, another guy got a single second than another guy got on third and then another
I came along and had a single and then he brought in the third baseman comes in, but if you watch like a home run,
that would like discourage home, run zoning one hit but counties where. But if you get,
more runs, you win right. But if there is more here
Then you don't win. You only
if you tie and then they hits or more with legs. I wonder.
We propose that Saddam right out there were doubts for whatever ready, we're dumber radical. I'm doubly dumb abdominal lot of thing that you know how I know I'm dumb. You know I know them, because what I'm doing this park ass time will go by
and I'm just look listening to you and I'm a fucking, interesting and errors. I haven't said she, I legitimately I'm just listening to your podcast. That's part of podcasting rights. That's that's me you're good at it,
I know I'm done because I get offended when people tell me I'm smart. What do you mean because
on the I go out into this is wrong.
Is incorrect. I know what actual smart people around like. I know I know actual smart people have talked to them. I know the difference I just
have memorized about shit. I know some thats where that you that
when, when I went,
listen to your talk, your whatever it is. Whenever I hear you I always
think how do you I I just before you have no new me. I would be like
How do how does Joe Rogan Remit,
but that much shit I don't
Fuckin, remember anything I don't know
I remember someone? That's that's! That's like
a bother. I'm at the point now round is likely out by on it, but
I met the plurality and looked shit up because I'm not gonna. Remember it satisfies. If things are important me remember them the ballade
of supporting the important steps important here to me, but now
porn shit like like someone autumn
Something still falconer now go away.
About legal! I just told you really. I it also
We have a very selective member is an awesome if something that's actually interested to hear your attention.
And your interested, which is good if the learner be interested a lot of the time now like people.
To learn to be interested or is the usually that people have to many other things going on. There are not interesting, so I don't have the time to get into
you have to learn to be interested because, like you said context, is everything right? So if you give me a book, that's very interesting
I dont know how to read it. If I don't fucking read books right,
and I dont know the context of it like I don't take shakespeare- is that important too,
but he doesn't reach Shakespeare. You're like
I don't know this is stupid. Yeah. If you wanted to just go back in time,
look at Shakespeare is like the origins, lie, literature, own origins of storytelling and then it becomes interesting important in Xinjiang, but it's on
Trusting like it's hard to take things like you,
listen old stand up here we are trying to go
back in the snow, Lenny Bruce
I haven't a long time, I'm a big fan of stand up and Lenny Bruce. I have
sisters on my wall at home. This Lenny Bruce Posters, concert, films and stuff and may use Lenny,
five, like maybe four five Lenny Bruce Pictures in my house, because I think that Lenny Bruce's, I think he was the God
father around. He will only when and why we could do with right. Right actually
for functional realise at one point time stand up was just jokes:
It was like set up, punchline set up punchline and there
these guys. That would tour, they do it the cats, given they would all do each other's act exactly they would all do the same jokes.
And they were, they were just joke like almost like street jokes and they would but they put together an act and then act
never change and then Lenny Bruce came along and Lenny Brewster talking about things that he saw the thing the behaviour people had hypocrisy, religion, racism and left. What is like what the fuck is, this guy doing and people come to see him and they would be blown away like that.
No one in the fifties in the sixties would talk him. I found no one was communicated away way. Lenny Bruce was, and he lit the fire that created George Carlin and Richard prior and always different guys. I think he was the original.
The the original source of american stand up comedy. That's it
asked in hot movie right jealousy it now: it's fucking great man, oh, my God, loves, look, put it off for second
and other than one's gonna end virus can drop in the ocean but see there's two niggers and between those two negative cake and there's another kite. That's took action three Niggers and there's a spy
right he's doing this in an audience. The peoples not assuming uncomfortable does not act as a pole arc and an old couple of Greece, balls and there's three lace. Curtains were met and as one it dick hunky on key booking bugaboo she's crying
I have three times last like black. Do I forget? What do I have? Seven? I got seven thought: Americans have what seven acres six pics bad makes bore cracked three get. It won't work,
don't push me. I didn't want just trying to make a point, and that is that it's the suppression of the word that gives it the power of violence, fishes dig it. President Kennedy would just go on television and I'd like to introduce you to
the Niggers and my cabinet, and, if you just say, Nigger Nigger Nigger, Nigger Niggard, every nigger he saw boggy bogey buggy boggy bogie, we'll Nigger Nigger, Nigger Niggard Negative
didn't mean anything at all and bombing of the articles, if your black ever. Why? Because somebody call them a nigger at school,
what a part obliges criteria.
While he did a great job he's a that's one of the best play,
Well you don't seem like a sudden Amy. I wonder what he did. I actually laugh because there were guys like me
you just like our such
I don't mind apparent to other people tunnel maxim punchline, I dont yeah. It's like you can just tell you guess:
it's not a comedian about Sally Field and functional African. Only remember that I would have to watch out again. You don't
it don't answer so where's that out of all you, but that was actually really good representation of the year was a really good representation of Lenny Bruce. That's. Why me he be played limbers and that bit boy, it's it's all about the context of the times, because that bit
like if you did that today, like boys have Ado way better job, rising it together. Just the times are different, like back. That was
the time what he was doing was completely groundbreaking.
Today we are you, you couldn't do that right now now, but it would be a different thing. But if you
went and watched him do stand up today, like Lenny Bruce's on stage was down to you, wouldn't be laughing right. It's to let your comedy commited changes, and it's like you look at.
Should back down it's not funny anymore, no, not even stuff from twenty years ago. It's not funny anymore. Yeah is now that's very, very very where we remember those like the look of the box or guy that would like
his face in the eighties Bob Nelson. That was funny yeah! That's
look, I know you're like what
and it's just what it that's. That's fucking, crazy, dude, Bob Nelson, is the reason why I have my manager
my manager was managing Bob Nelson, the Bob Nelson found Jesus and Bob Nelson decided to get a prayer partner was going to be his new manager, and so my manager is a girl fuck. So you got to go, find some new talent, so he came to Boston and the ninth and came to Boston. I had written a joke, I don't even do it. There is right there. It is so weird man place of it.
How I forgive you just Jim mine. My name is just
I own I only Jim server, I mean that's, that's, there's. Ninety the opposite,
funny, but it is now it is back. Then he used to kill
he was Euler. It's weird is it
in time, but he was always like a real slaps. Dickie, yes, such as in fine, I don't have yet a substance. Abuse problem
I don't know like how we got involved is prayer partner, how he found Jesus. I don't know what what was so extreme about it, but he fired my manager and then my manager, like just randomly, came to Boston. He was in New York, just randomly came to Boston, look for talent, and I just happen to be up on stage that night wasn't even scheduled,
and I ve been with a merchant governor, that's it, but that's how that should happen. Zack. I never did. That said you wouldn't have despotic ass. I might not I'm see you at my man.
Is a very important part of my career. He's is awesome, he's the best. There is a great friend and not less
the guy we ve been together since I was an amateur bow down? That's cool
I have had the same manager for twenty two years, while at least maybe twenty three, my between three years now yeah yeah, I'm crazy. That's a great fuckin thing man, because that the whole thing,
like having the right representation that, like the whole situation, that I went through with girlish we're trying to get me
college as dementia. You don't have to worry about that if you got a guy in your corner exactly for twelve years. Our imagine that was my guy imaginative. The girl was my guy and they tell me that
There was the only people who had representing me tell me how to get us to a criminal. That's a sneaking part about this business right in so doing with all the people that sell it. I know it. That's the business part of it. It's like owners and others yeah, but it's
who else is gonna Rembrandt, whose we're not gonna. Do I'm not gonna, be a work of Aachen? I'd just tell me where to go
and I got there could imagine if it would do the crystalline talent agency
stars, Blake we'd fuckin read that we as a group
Will there be like me and him in that car contained he would open for me, that's the thing
it happens to write guys, bring terrible acts open forum death?
we are talking about. We were talking about that. I dont get that I don't I don't get it like. I bring, I bring
money, guys Brent more in who was the other guy. My show and Jason callings in those guys are so good an and I don't I don't I don't I don't. I don't get the idea of a guy's, okay and an ugly
and crush yeah we're talking about it is worth improv and the you know crescent.
Very funny ACT in some guys, don't wanna go out after Chris, and some guy specifically get upset the wind up having to go after it here, and we are talking about this one guy who can't weeks about it every day
Thus, it is as if you being funny takes away from him being funny to me. It's about going up in people be indifferent and it's fun,
you go up and crush, and then I have to go on after you and I want to follow you
What do I do you not? I mean it's like there'll, be forgotten. You gotta category
Joe it's gotta be harder, but before an indifferent, but you ve done it, you do it. I do if I did a week, but I dont I never
would be like no railway do no way. That's that's. Bitch made shit to me. Bitch made yeah too.
Me that what what what are you saying, you're saying you can't go up it? Who care? Who even
How about this you bomb, who gives a fuck but bombing, is just at the whole thing, even working for us to build up confidence
get to this point and finally feel like you're worthy of staying alive and then what
bad said after critically, but does the task
universe, gives you look outward
talking about Scott Shore, whose matures I guess oldest son,
he's a body mine and I ran into a mere lawyer this money where their despair, the weak.
In Scandinavia. We get and we were told
about what MITS East, due to comics like how she develops comedians in what she used to do it?
anybody know any good. She would put you on after the biggest care
yeah. Fine, all
about my days the commission had to follow Martin Lawrence,
You so crazy, when he's doing that, I didn't I was an unknown white guy. The audience was mostly black and he was going on stage with a leather jumpsuit on yeah. He was destroying our people have forgotten how goddamn
funny Marcel funny. I will never forget,
You went crazy and warlike that rubber sue gone and spoken lose running very still funny when you seamen, movies, he's very, like he's very funny, Ivan
to stand up lately, but I don't know
She does anymore, I'm not sure, came by the communist or maybe two years ago I started doing some stuff, but I never really watch
y know. You took a long time off right here on stage he was talking about how they got him on pill, so yeah,
pretty relate alone, we all pills and dumb was tough action and on his side, is a TED talk.
But when I saw him with the Indian, it's a thing to we're talking about people going crazy when they get so famous
my orange goddamn gigantic here
it shall learn norm. He was doing movies big mouth
this house and all is that different zipping knows how similar or removing was another. There is another big body on marine mammals, houses on the airplane, big black eminent one, point time in her life
but he did all those movies envisaged a giant superstar. But what people forget is his stand up. He was murder he destroyed and I went on after him.
How many times it's time you is performing the store. I was gone on after right, while every time I was no body, I was nobody- and I wasn't
good, I was okay, so you get him some times and sometimes now eat shit load each
it and then eventually get too like a respectable few laughs before bailed right. But the beginning was all
watching giant growth groups, a black people get up in the air.
They were leaving anyway, is one more right, yeah yeah, of course, good access and then
how to bring me up too. He was very gracious. Easy gave gave a great introduction and how long would he do all these half our police
Maybe more outward that's great. I mean when I went on when I was in the comedy store I would have to they would make that don't make me go after the cap, a ruler who crushed but yeah. That's nothing like Martin Lawrence in the fuckin,
capital is a good comic, but war, but lawyer was a supranational. He was so famous in Indonesia. He was yeah. I would you put that you know
and I was going to the communist or there weren't people on tv that, where the comedy store
Oh yeah, the dark ages, two thousand eight years
it was it was. There was no literally nobody, it was ended.
Funny, I'm not saying it's not funny with just one on tv cap, Rouleaux, bread, Ernst Sebastian Sebastian with this
for it. You know I mean life and then the ends.
Yeah, you are there,
This was after you, it was after I left I left in two thousand seven. That's when them and see a thing right and then I went into doesn't eight and then and then I would be going on after these guys. I would there would crush yes,
I know you talk about a little bit, not like the Martin Lawrence thing, but I found richer prior five weeks in a row. You didn't know that
Ed weeks in a row, Richard Pryor did stand up on their forget it
the weirdest thing because he was already on on his way out rise die and they would carry him to the stage and the audience would class
like, like Fuckin Moses Authority, from risen from the grave, and was this
fascinating, just to be in the room with a man just to be in the room, old love, the greatest comical, all time opening and he would go on stage and in a hint who I think I should qualify
I think SAM Kennison in nineteen. Eighty six was the groves comical wild really, but it was only the green card for a year. I think he was. He was a murderer
louder than hell when he said that he couldn't be stopped, he wishes on unstoppable. He was the greatest ever, but does it when you didn't think about homosexual necrophilia extra
Yes, I did what's the matter again and he goes folks go sir. There's these guys.
Homosexual necrophilia. They were paying paying morgues to spend a few hours undisturbed, their fresh Ismail corpse and it goes. Could you imagine the lion out there and that's lab so well,
I'm dead. Now I guess I'm gonna go. Oh Jesus he's like right,
before he's lying on his stomach guns. Tat is I want to
It feels like,
deck in my ass, you may
I came never ends.
You have to see it at the time
did, but nobody like him, nobody even room. He was so original
there was no one like Kennison before I came on. Everybody else was doing jokes here
scuse me how it goes.
I was married price. Did it's a joke about going to hell and about Satan? Would even boatwright scarier and he goes. I ve been married, how's old hat
client. That's funny! She had to see you at the time. Will that's it. You know the commission is an interesting, because when I think about Kennison I would have loved to see what the fuck would have happened to him as a comic. He would have gotten worse, but it was all, but it would have been ugly to I've. I mean I'm just guessing, but his his act was so bad at the end, but really hit he's the best example that I give to young comics when they want to talk about
the perils of fame and what can happen when you stop writing. We stop work on your sets. You're. Not you no longer trying to hone it as an art form you just ass, he was being Kennison is doomed
loud and being superstar. If you
listen the louder than how you go, watches first, HBO special. What's that stuff, though the good stuff and then watch the subsequent specials,
they were. They were slowly but surely terrible like not as good the first one after is not nearly as good, and then it got really bad and then, at the end it was awful,
he just fallen apart and I got to see him live after he had fallen apart. I saw him at great woods in man's from Massachusetts and Karla Bow Open form, Carl, whose a funny guy he was in his one, his car. He does
we had already like used up all his best material, although the hunger
being an up and coming comical years and years of struggle, he developed like all these killer bits and then within a year yet to rewrite the whole thing had come up with all this new material and it was just gimmicky stuff like you would have some guy onstage and the guy would tell about heartbreak that he had many would bring up a phone call. The girl from age
scream at her, like that is gamma ray you're. Fuckin, I'm here with Tom TAT, are right.
You have acted
obviously
gas truck and blood
Thank you. Can I go now
and that's how
get off stage. It was is wasn't that good it was over like it was over, like the wind, Terry assails was over.
But during that one thousand, nine hundred and eighty six year Marin has the best fucking stories really cuz Marin used to work at the shut off when Kinison was coming
he did cope with our luck. They really conflict. Seventy two hours and stayed up for days and it
ugh Marin's brain the poor man said that he was hearing voices for almost a year.
Anybody who is listening this, if you like, watching your more of it, bark Marian
episode of this podcast, when my mark man was on his bycatch, I'm sure it's easy to find. He told some fuckin off,
stories Tennyson. They were amazing like out just like my mother.
Saw was hanging opened, my eyes were glued or fantastic, but he was there at the darkest moments of the beast
Kennison wish, if I can go back home in time anywhere, it would be just the eighties and I've got an enhanced. Our yeah me too, like to fuck Caveman.
I don't care, give a shit, I don't even care Napoleon cool
I would go see the nineteen eighty six comedy store, I'm with you entrepreneurs,
yeah. I would love to see prior, when my delight the sunset trip time. Yes, I turn those dance. I mean just people clamouring getting on a Monday night. I would love to see that
I want to see that guy that fuckin tat is just what
I want to see that no kidding you habitats, cause you're. A real comic
really love it. You know I was there. I saw one you tweet till the day really loved it only. I would love it, but only colleagues would love if you like. I want
who is going to want to call your party here, and I wanna go to the beach air, but people dont get it like
the rush in the fund, the you have when you, when you crushing, like I love watching comedy still
and this is something that really call D. You do you notice you yeah, that's cool about year, allow it yeah, it's lovely
like we're watching county nosegay. I love laughing. I love the art form we can sound was
I want to give us been away what he's doing this bed
how, in the back of the room, it was like. The added about a new idea seem for here a love. I still love it. Some people dont man, that's something. If I could give advice to young comics, don't lose the love as a fan.
Sometimes comics they become comics, and then it's all about them. It's all about getting better, and it's all about that
I'm killing and not about other people, and then it becomes all about, like you know like either sorted die selling I talked Norton once you tell me, doesn't watch other comedy cause. He worries it can be influenced as I had I might
calf to quit, comedy really. If that was the case in some way be said for that, the Middle EAST has got a reason in Africa,
ethical reasons, but I dont think you can avoid being influenced.
You going to be, I must think, I'm influenced by other comics for sure I think I'm also influenced by pop culture, with ones by art and music and
movies that I see in books- and I read do think life is the entire culture.
The entire civilization of human beings is a series of influences people influencing people, people enhancing people.
There's a hold. The whole reason to have good friends is good friends enhance you know if you are around people that are constantly like pushing and there
some like to get in shit dawn like it makes you get shit donor. When I was a kid thousand high school, I had my tube tomorrow.
Friends. Jimmy until you Jimmy Lawless, does guess great glass there, the great they sell their great guys there too great eyes, but
one thing that was great about those guys is that they worked hard and when I was in high school year, these guys had they like Jimmy as an electric company is, is electrician in the other. Jimmy is a carpenter, and while I was in high school, these guys
like were constantly working. They would get up early, they would do things Jimmy had at which Emily till you had a fuckin snowplow operation, he had heard of a truck that he had bought were an ice.
We fuck em, here, thou and pickup truck at kids, making money. He was
ass, a word he was always getting shit, gun and so on.
Feel lazy if I didn't like hustle like I did, and I developed a lot of my work ethic from being friends at these guys because they were hustlers because they were constantly getting shit
and if you around guys a costly gets done, it becomes sort of contagious. You know- and I think comics they tend to be. A lot of us tend to be very is not with the best will look at it is they need. You concentrate too much on yourself to the point where you you will avoid other things being.
Good that don't have anything to do with you expressly struggling comics when there is where they don't enjoy. Watching other stand up this year. You know you wish you came up with those jokes. You wish it was right that was up there. You see like I went to work this place cap setting once and Jim Norton was on stage
and I was watching and beside me with the two guys at Brown before Jim Norton right video laugh at all right. They would just sitting there while he was on stage word or where he was when I was
a ride laughing, and I remember looking over and saying these guys are enjoying this amity and there was like a tinge of I wish it was me year. There was a tinge that these guys were exhibiting. If I wish it was me, I wish, as you poor bastard like you're, missing out,
I what why'd you become a dynamic. In the first place interesting, you became a coming in the first place because you love comedy right
I love stand up comedy long before ever thought or psychological assent to go. I stayed with no nothing and just say: shit and people are entertained and the cool thing to watch too, like I went to see a bunch, a lawyer, but forever got paid it do it like. I saw Kennison long before ever did stand up. I saw Kennison and eighty six and Mansfield Massachusetts at the great would centre for the performing arts, and I saw him again at this place down the cape and it was all long before sovereignty. Dangerfield long before I ever saw thought about, don't stand up and these guys like that, don't appreciate it as just a thing to enjoy.
Because they do it themselves right. I guy you're missing out on a lot man just like it's easy to get caught up in those button, so it is interesting. I mean to say that is important. I think, because it's easy to get caught up in.
You're on your own had yet exactly you're on.
Your own career, your own selfishness, think about at all
In terms of like your success, a comedy
as you know, were other guys will get shit and then they'll get jobs
You were talking about. That's happened to you like you.
When you start taken off like Leonardo II, I definitely yeah Agus angry they get angry and that its very weird man,
taking all the gold there'll, be no gold, my flask ITALY, which is exactly wrong, because if blitz all go do this, yes,
you, can use that absolute, especially a comedy. You guess you get your crew and mean well not only that how about the fact that there are three
Hundred fifty million on the contrary and there's how many fronts, clubs it's only
one club in New York. We ought to go there and get on stage and is no goddamn stage type. No New York itself has a hundred clubs. It least just knew you,
Ella has how many fuckin clubs or and allay Jesus Christ, there's the main ones. There's the improv, the laugh factor the calmly store, and then you got the ha ha. Then you got fuckin the ice
ass in Pasadena at all the Ray and Irvine you can go there, Breyer, Irvine, Ontario on and on and on the comedy magic club. In her most I mean Jesus,
in crisis, a lot of places to profound here and then across the country like every where you go. There's a comedy club. Everyone goes place perform. If you develop an act and you have a following, you develop a following. You can work, you can have a great tanya, it's it's there's plenty of prosperity, just keep doing it. Just keep doing it, and just and also just fuckin.
Don't do one club there don't just be in captivity and just to that area. Now, let's get either I mean you know.
Things are lobotomy. I still love Kommeni can still love it. Man in arms
ready to the special film, my special, not this upcoming weakened, but the next up really upset sooner, and so I'm I'm hammering Madame
like yeah you're, all right a week, I'm haven't shown.
It's fun called its courtesy to see that you know. You still wants us happy that a special two years ago, a really here and where you type in this one, this one's in Denver, alright comedy worker calmly works in Denver, which has won my favour. Clubs ever how you put it out,
coming central, ok, cool! Now! Would you do you? You did you last one fight data research area which fell in Orleans
yeah, it's fuckin awesome was awesome. That's a good place to Ducas awesome
it's up. There is such a pleasure. Canada has different data, have any kind of how the clouded club they have seen now they have like guy now, ours may now, but it was also I've I was I was unsure, has cut me off my first conversations. We want you to do it here and also the visa happy. Did they piggy back. You with
other special. They were filming where they are the same stage. We each had a night yeah yeah, but yeah was like three nights. It was me. Steve, ran his easy in your brain,
yeah they like to do there, they like to do that what they like the leg, get a place. Now, I'm doing this one in a common clubs, my first one in economy club. I decided that, like
there's a thing about watching comedy in Libya. You're right,
How about you absolutely its intimate and you just get to do it in a comedy clubs? Does not it's it's better,
That is our industries. I hear the shows better to its activities,
prince in the show that you see in a theater it still great. But it's
missing that crackling
see that three hundred see two under fifty see comic global air, like I just did. American comic
right, Santiago, fuckin path. I love that club who it's perfect, superb club. It's perfect, can't any better. It's a perfect size and before that I did wiseguy knew TAT same think. We had another one. I know the name, but you gotta go there, though you fuckin Rebaptize parliament to me
using and the people are cool as fuck, you think of like SALT Lake City as being all buncher, we're not gonna generics, but it's not it's. Only like a person
the population and everybody else like working really hard.
Not be like that guy yeah, if you have
you don't have the opposite: adamantine yeah, we're
where's the places like to work by I do like them or incommunicable? I love Carolines Airlines
of on Broadway to global. I love Addison Improv! That's how great I love that fucking romance a while room. It is
Dallas yeah, that's a fund here, my Firpo Conniston them in great spot.
There is a, and probably one of the best rooms are mere, if not the best its debts. Like the that's, like the only room, that's built every other clubs, Buckley audience
That is both a comedian. It's only room really lucky. I got that built for you a morgue my way to get back there. I am. I go back to Joey started going back there again, Joey's my fuckin canary
Mind Joe is one of the main reasons. Why decided not go back the first, but he actually quite real or them and see a thing went down. I really like a lot of things, but with a store was gone, I did
now, and we wish you would come back to it- on heating off heating Gale in Nepal, either gotcha on their own
yeah! Well, maybe I will never well policeman
fun. Doing games with Eu Airline. Do an emperor I've, I've, gotta yeah! It's been really fun, it's just been
to have somebody not in the group not in the green room with
whenever the real rhetoric that we are talking about
Improv in Hollywood is like if we were on the road and like we work that club we like
no fucking green room is nowhere Stan.
Between shows you just get like we're do thou. Yes, all history
Is the global on the some show and I will use each other will be like you. Just hang for can be
Next, we each other in somebody like going to show you something we ve shown each other, nothing by the life we protect. We want
Now I want to see this guy's act here who have let's go in, let's go into the Shell Roma Citizens hallmark nothin like it
I know it's been funded. It's been. It's been cool, like Rollin, within the European Union, to match the real fun
and profound: don't apologize reduced to three hours over economic, quick, flew by hope. We hope it flew by for you too, ladies and gentlemen, if it didn't flyby for you, we apologise, but it's on you, but we don't really say
I remember when I really do for our that's it as the end thanks everybody thanks for listening, we'll be back on Wednesday. I got mad folk impact ass this week. Ladies and gentlemen,
stamps, dot com thanks to stamps outcome, use the cold war.
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Transcript generated on 2020-03-16.