« The Joe Rogan Experience

#555 - Rory Albanese

2014-09-29 | 🔗
Rory Albanese is a stand-up comedian and former executive producer/writer for "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" He's currently working on the Sundance Channel's "The Approval Matrix" and next year look for him on "Minority Report" on Comedy Central.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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did or on half of what I take. I take for pills with its each time. I do a pod cause he's coming to stand a beach tom. I do you have see I take for the We did. We did on two. We try to be very conservative weather, but we showed some excellent ink This is in memory and who couldn't you more memory song between that and strengthened. Fishing equipment. We sell kettlebells in battle, robes and steal maces, which try to find the very best kind of equipment that we can find that we could sell things like. We have standard kettlebells that go from. We have all these different packages. We have a beginner, credible package and advanced package, and then we have really heavy ones like we have forty eight kilogram, which is, I think,
ninety two pounds or some shit like that. I know why we write and kilograms does actually kind of annoying. How much is forty eight kilograms? What does that way? I probably know that forty four kilograms we have forty four kilograms kettlebells. We even have double forty four kilograms, kettlebells your fuckin animal for some crazy piece. It wants a pick up two of em package slam around kettlebells, my favorite personally, my favorite, a method of strengthened conditioning fun and adjust its feels. It feels like modern, but oddly caveman ask to be throwing around these big giant, fuckin iron balls and these giant iron balls. The the idea behind them is that their the weight. At the bottom, like a bowling ball and it has a handle and you
come and swing, I'm sort involve pulling and pushing and involves your whole body. That's what I love about it in a directly translates to physical activity like if you like, to do martial arts, especially especially the rapporteur, my from Texas, if you like, to do martial arts as but George W Bush, do that shit. He's too especially draw me fuckin crazy, especially Jiu Jitsu and eat grappling. Are there so many exercises that directly translate to physical performance on the mat things like Turkish get ups, that's a huge one, which you know it's not a sexy routine, like bench press or something like that, would think you going to get a nice church to church. Like my chest. But as far as like your core and your overall stability and Europe, ability to like lift things up. The way to set about Turkish get up works, your lie down on the back on your back. You extend your arm straight up, like you do in like a little bench press with a kettle bell and then you slowly as you rise up. It goes up over your head and then
stand up and then in a controlled ash and slowly lower it down to the ground, and you lie back down again and then do it all over again. It is very difficult, especially when you dealing with heavy weights, and it is fantastic just for you overall body strength, strength, you're, essentially using everything when you do that its against sexy exercise, people think of us actually exercise like good preacher. Girls elected do try sub extensions broad, My arms anyway, gotta on a dot com could ask marshals too long. Oh and an I t use the code. Word Rogan. If ten percent off any and all supplements, why we're also brought you buy square space square spaces, the all in one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website, squares, ace squirt, spoke has beautiful design. For you start with an all the style options. You need to create a unique website for you or your
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first off the original prize, but this aid, since savings, is only available for a limited time. So don't sleep you dirty fucks are right. We are about to do a podcast with a wonderful young man. His name is free all Bernice, and he was at one point in time. The executive producer of the daily show he's a very funny stand up. Colic, and I know you can enjoy the fuck out of him. So please, without any further ado, welcome roaring, the will gain experience. Amidst the english broad bring her back you're that eventually one meal the jail. Logan experience English though that sounds like is learn. English version of it worked out, morbid English are or how was I when I heard you might think
Talk to me, she was very proper to cheer Rogan experience. Can we do that you're gonna be attracted? Do it hey, roar, what's up buddy Joam power for doing this man prepared and seriously. I really appreciate you, haven't you ever fuck, an amazing story. You have a Hollywood success story, you yeah very it's it's! The its pretty They certainly- and here we have just been get another one of my other frontline everywhere. For the moment, this is my last sweet man until you up at turn it off Second, I gotta do so now. I it's that is very on Hollywood in this is that I was in New York in working Daily show, which is next to the horse. Stables for central park yeah, I should say, is of great showbiz too. I guess so yet anyone from being like appear to the executive producer, the Arusha yeah, that's fucking, awesome. Yet will it was
It was not the. I didn't know that that is going to happen. I got a job I wanted to do comedy. I wanted to do stand up and went to college so felt we come out of college and tell my parents, such as Haiti, they. Never all that money is not like you gotta tell jokes, like my come from, like my dad's, like an old school italian, I like it, doesn't understand. This kind of stuff is at what about a job. You know remain like get a job like you would run happier if I said I was gonna be, a male man or an electrician like that would have made more sense than a job and tv so or common general. So I got the job here like that. Can at least justify the love of comedy debt? it makes sense like look, I'm working and serious business as well.
Television channels, were very successful report leads. I had to go somewhere, you don't think that was a big part of it. It was like what what what do you do when the morning when the alarm was up? I don't have to get up in the morning cottages the work at night and count echoes what yeah, why some of the comments that we know that don't do anything turn their yummy. They just fuck off completely how they get on stage at which I'm always quite jealousy. Actually I, but I always had that, failing which we will go, how do you do both might well once during the day so that one way to do thus I got older. I got more tired, harder to go out into clubs after the daily show. It is right is the hardest thing than where we need. When you said not the harvesting the world, I should look to anything else. It's really easy. It's easier fuck, but I mean it's hard to work. What else does its harnessing the world to work a full time job and then try to pursue something because you're all year, your juices, God, if you mean
leaving you're trying to do that. So I hope athletes than of full time jobs like fighters at a full time. Jobs fact that's hard and has even harder because they have ours, a tray they have to put in everyday. But just when you don T day or dawn. You wanted a bite to eat. Watch tv set if you dont, want us exemplary or no don't fuckin yet or that. For me, The other thing was to his stolen or even at a place where, like I, walk into a club and illegality get right up to sit up, usually they like, when you clean up this mass at one thirty I am, but so for me it was a lot of it, which is I'll love doing the time, but sometimes you gotta hang out at the club, and then he and like my Bayer problem, was gonna have fun hanging out with other comics unhappy afterwards, I have a couple of drinks exiting the harder, probably get, not the next have you not working hours right? So that's where I started to have that. You know what I'm doing the thing it was good about my day. Job is it got me better. Combat
so I didn't really lose the like sort of experience. I think I wanna got not stage what I didn't get by doing it every night for awhile was, you know like sit ass, the seasoned onstage it took me a little longer to get like comfortable on stage to get back into the grew yeah exact butter. Still it was a good experience. Beata EPA was fun. That's amazing! That's one of stories it You gonna ruin the expectations for every fuckin kid there like this. I have to say at the daily show, because he's been on so long, John, such a cool guy, like really gay people opportunities there. I was among the first people to come and make that journey, but now been the only one writer there was appear, that's a man was one of the EU. The european car we pieces of were pediatric. Why people camp Cometh? It's you know. That's like a farm system almost for good riding in producing is pretty cool. That's task and it's become like for a lot of people
get the news. Yeah! That's a proper assessment is now we're. That's how people get the noon. I doubt John Stewart yeah people tell me that alot they know I never get minors at I get like I've ever been in college. We go college kids get their news. I fell again even watch the news when I was in college. I don't know yet college. You know here, so I guess it's better than nothing, but I would still be able to go places. Start to get interested in topic and then go off into your own research, her whatever you want, because it I people, get new political debates. Offer like emails and like daily, show clips and elect that's action. Not true it I get you know they have. I got a real, standing of each story. Has early yeah so weird thing: isn't it when you were when you do a television show that also an educational show and also has like a very progressive point of view. Very, is what you would think of anything of Johnson.
Words like very intelligent, very progressive, mocking of both the left and the right when they do ridiculous shit yeah. But it's gotta be funny. Fear I mean sets its that's a hard job yet. Well, it's really hard for him. For me, it was a lot easier because I gotta watch him. I've been that's the thing about John that's amazing, as he does all he's in love from not an through the end of the show. Obviously, what hosted, but in other words she so intimately involved and is so smart you so sharp that, like when he's in the chair, I never worried about it. Oh, not working rise, even when they didn't work. She just would like call an audible in his own head and then like remember a joke from like that. Ninety and meeting that he like that did make the script and throw that in or it's pretty amazing, a watch him to sitting in the studio because help change a joke in prompt as a proper scrolling and then later, there's a call back to the joke. He changed and he remembers to change the call back or skip the call that an omelet and I'm there with the script watching the prodigal own
unlike out here, comes a callback like we're screwed it out and let each is jumps it or or tax it with a joke? If it's amazing yeah I'd really like watching when encouragement for soon it. For that long to mean he's falcons smooth he so used to that gig like for Jim, foulon or me for South Myers who try the same sort of impromptu ad lib. They might pull it off, but John Stewart can do for ever for ever and ever, oh no doubt, and he also yet she just any also just knows a lot whims comic to restoring yeah he's a great comic, but he also knows he understands comedy in a way that I'm sure those I know both staff- seven Jimmy superfluity got. I just never worked with them. That capacity, so I know John understand
like music, you don't I'm saying around now know that won't work. This will work right. United people go. How do you know? Some is gonna work before you. Try it and see like you. Just can't know how to learn this kind. It now He also has a very specific voice. He knows his voice, his style delivery. Absolutely it some. It's it's a fascinating show, because it's very political but yet very funny. It's he doesn't sacrifice like going for funny. To try to look like less silly or try to look dignified is not trying to monologue it. Vienna he's is making this stuff is funny. The Cannon Sundays extremely animated. It's fucking Larry, I mean he's, he's he's versatile, not says I can really do any comedy yeah and but you have as far as it I think its cause. It really is in people this always bothers people so much I was more than what they think that it shows that can agenda is like we're all sitting around in a circle we like? How do we screw? The right
No, it doesn't. Its people Lee, that an ecologist hiding behind the fact that a common shows that no doing comedies really hard there's other hot, like we still have to take the stories, we still shouting at everything right. We have people who in fact check there's a guy there name Adam Chitakov, whose like just a guru of information and will come in to the rewrite room between rehearsal in the show after we change a joke, gonna go you can't, this. This wake as its statistically inaccurate too, like sometimes like yeah man, though, if you care what I'm saying it's not even use we're, so we really fact check stuff that goes out, but the oh. So we really a big part of the days figuring out how to tell the story, the narrative and then adding the jokes is. Why have you no writers and guys like John right? Just then you can pylon the funny, but funding is the most important thing really is that's what's so funny. That's why we're states along is not like a. I don't know. That's there's! No, like movement happening there, she's a comedy show,
Well, that's why everybody who gets so attached to it so crazy. It's like they want it, most to be more ideologically driven than it is now Nor do they want it if he said something ridiculous, supportive in support of Obama. There would like it Shepherd if Obama because after him to all the time I mean that's the thing, the show really became what it is or what people think of it. As now during the Bush administration, I think people really associate being this like hard core left wing show and it deftly slants laugh them in its hard, sometimes for it not to within comedy, because everything that, when you're pointing out some things just straight up absurd yeah, it's hard, sometimes not seem left because you're throwing away like right. You know, so I think that's what biblical, what people do? A right wing daily,
It's not really a left or right thing. It is a lot of times comedy dismissive of people taking themselves to seriously and conservatives have a tendency to take things very seriously. You know what I'm saying Each year the guy sit in the back. The class remain like. That is the line. You don't really care what the person saying you're, just fine in places tat they get a laugh. You don't really care what the person saying you're, just fine in places tat, they get a laugh, and I think so for us it when the left as absurd things, which is also quite frequently occupy Wall Street here was a perfect example of my favorite times at the daily show. Will we're like ripping the left, the new ass, all and the already, because I'm industry, were used to it and the audience is what have you got to admit this? Is our movement made and is an issue that there will be zip up? Their zip is over there Joshua for President transparency that shit and for me it was like we crush those dude and then I go to the desk between commercial would be like yeah
You know it's a stand of intelligent life. You feel the crap like I just came back from matters it is causing this weekend gazing city like dashed the club is an awesome. The shows were so far, but there it was grown, knew there were groans from the crowd on certain things I would take us it was. This college cannot write and colleges now are really it'll at like. I know, that's like a taboo right waiting visible there's, a left wing political correctness in college now, that is extreme extreme, and I never like ten years ago during a college is married differently. Now you make a joke about it, and that was running a medicine and there's you know, is a comic right, like you feel that from the crowd and go We watch is here and then you know you wanna like poke it a little bit so on the daily show Johns Comic we headed, but we had a note on something we're going after Hilary and await saint. They would do it. I don't know
what we do, people or George. You know our Udall, its selective outrage. Well, it's one of the more interesting things has happened during, transition between the Bush administration and the Obama administration is a peep. Starting to deny this whole party thing that certainly go look This is work. Look, I would get fucked here. This is not a left or right so the day I d is that everyone in the right subscribes to like immediately you tell someone there Republican and the immediately think you ve got some pretty ideas about gay marriage. Your pro war your anti abortion and each start, throwing things like you automatically get tossed into a very extreme category, or if you say I only vote Democrat, you automatically get bunch embassies eating: hearts super ridiculous, professional victims just at them the most ridiculous social policies. You get two extremes on two sides:
and there's no room for new ones and the idea that you really one of the other it's kind of being exposes be ridiculous. Now that it's so funny that you said it is that's literally like the thing that's obsess I'm obsessed with, since I left the shout out, so I ve been talking about Mycenaean and acted like we're, giving two choices and it's you pick a box and then that's what you feel about every issue in that column and you're like will we what if I am pro choice, but I'm ok with guns right? What do I do? Do you can't know out, you know allowed you left, we can be right and, like you said, knew what I could catch is called thinking. Like, in other words, at whatever happened. To like something comes up and people more people sit around and talk about it and think about instead go knee jerk, you jerk. If this happens that rights gonna get this it's so odd, and I dont understand how I agree with you. I dont think most people feel that way, but I think the people who have a voice on tv, weren't media, I should say, are picking side. So it's like you're just sort of getting
into one of those two you there is a real issue with that for sure this, the issue with the people that are running the show is also taking safe choices. That's a real issue. I give your easy to define, but had a the guns and gay marriage get put in the same group. How come there even remotely connected like you can be pro gay marriage? And you have to not want a gun, you can't God that's what I'm saying I don't. I don't see that I dont see the connection. The bizarre connections, those connections, conservative and progressive connection, sometimes don't make any sense at all. Well, I ass a thing to especially now with the argument will again: guns, and I'm not saying I don't old gun, but I'm not. I understand why people do I don't know yunkers. I live in New York City and like just not a good place to open, carry yeah whose around Manhattan, when the three fifty seven seven Hey Anthony Komio, actually does carry a gun with them everywhere in New York
work is in New York, you're really not allowed to carry on where he has a concealed. Carry permanent. That now No, he hasn't New York, one well yeah. Still a lot of money and love attire. That's why arrived like some Staten Island people get what I want to know. What are you going to do and how to borrow bribes, how in the sacred poker yeah, I don't know like New York shit he's also public figure he's abstruse, a death threats works better safety, He even historic him getting kicked off the air again. He was taking photographs at four o clock in the morning Some woman beat him up some chick, you took a picture of and he was gone entire time and then he went on this tirade about the proper, the crime problem and Black America in other violence problem. Black man fired him from open, Anthony just die how strange outrage on both sides, but the point being this guy had a gun autumn, He's got him all the time like
and nothing with it, he did nothing with me was tat. He wasn't in danger. Whose just choose hitting em, but it was socked, but but hard person get shot. Every time problem would feel if Florida, just at cop, this conversation alone could get you protection of juveniles, the arguments that were to get in a fight, absolutely somebody shooting somebody they're pretty sure, there's a loophole, but I d you don't think everybody should have a gun. I definitely usually hard to get a gun. I think you should have to be there when it should have to mean We should all agree on what the requirements are, but mental health requirements If I give you a mental evaluations, may that gun ass she was always just been. What what? What so in order in order Scuba diving, you gotta, take class ran a test. You know not just so. You know like come up too fast. They get the bands motives in order to get
college. Everyone says is a weapon. You know if you drive drunk or whatever to when you got a hotly go to jail for homicide. If kill somebody in a car drunk or wherever you gotta get. If tat take a task in a licence. To me, just like guns are fine, but why not? Just to you, you passed a handgun class, get a hanger registry, two messages about like no one who is getting the guns gazette at some point like I want to take the bazooka glad you like. We should watch that. You know what I mean the guy. The guy who want to take the bazooka class seems, like you know, maybe he gets on a list, you know I don't know, where he does not want to fifty. I don't want to go with it, as you could find me, but they're gonna get mad at you right now, you're suggesting that nobody just saying a class to me seems like a reasonable seems very reason. But again I get it it's like another country that then I think about this a lot. The second amendment, the argument is you it's different. Now the constitution's ancient document peoples have muskets. Now they have a our fifteen, but the same is true of the first amendment, because people used to just stand and like a town square and yell stuff. They wanted to get off
but now we ve got twitter would just be a our fifteen of free speech, and it's like now. You ve got crazy people. Putting shit there, you know, with whom you know, sources table, maybe we got a scale that think back a bit. You have what you can do in the name of parity like there's all these websites that just right stories and he's fake stories and even funny that just totally faint right and people reach them and treat them and you go to the website says someone. The website is a parasite you like a right wing onion, you know like not someone on unbelievably ban and those are the ones like my mom sends me. Just did you see this? You say that this is what our muslim people on my part, and I personally not that's. That's a photoshopped thing. It out like that that little there's a there's, a mom forwarding community. I think the gun argument is that if you, if you make it's so that people have to health evaluation, the really
dream guys would say. Well, then someone is going to decide who gets to. As is gonna that'll be political and ideological, and though the left to make sure that no one is mentally kept capable of carrying a gun. Yet well, that's what I was saying. I don't think it's a mental health thing. I just think it's like a protest at that that ran on Saint, like most, should be both right. I mean it's just violent thing than a car, because it's not transportation, it's only purpose is to shoot things, but but I guess it's only purposes. You criticise parliament for some people to hobby for some people they liked to go to a shooting our yeah. They like to shoot. They are entitled to like to do that. Just like a bow and arrow, you dont even need a licence right which go story which is also, I guess, and even across bow yet cross post. Because things are crazy. You loved aware crossbow, like just around years Glaxo Quench air has exactly had travelled to do and it would be cool is shifted there. I think there's a limit on what size bleed you can have for a knife, but I wonder if, if like a weapon, logarithm walking around a city with a quiver
bone our abstractly unfurling bad? You should look into that. Ensuring arrow heads we have them. Early tied to a stick. Our had tied to stick em. Anything about legacy instead using arrows like with real, like sharp, like antiquities ahead That's a rock arrowhead would mean that air As you know. U, fine loud and growth of ancient Indian yeah, yeah yeah, you say like take a piece of illegals, admiration, weapon, yeah, that's a weapon! Doubts are weapons, tells us that was a solid weapon for centuries. Have you can't deny that Arrowhead does designed specifically to killed? So if you port, opened with a bunch of arrowheads you're in trouble cause if you were attached to an actual device like a static like if you had a spear and you're in your car like a real speed?
that was tied down with like animal sinew and of giant delayed. Hang it across the back here, those caveman one. Yes, what is it called obsidian? Is that what it is that we are rising? A black rock rock? It's that slices up nice, we chip away at it that that's probably the line. But you can say, like hey, I'm just into archaeology and or I'm twelve, and I found it outside I'd funny, you can still find those someplace someone, whereas it can in Ohio. Did you really it's? I guess there. It was very calm it because I, and because there is this like place old man's Kate Old Man's cave and who is really a place called man save in what is an earlier those efforts
Well, I don't want any ethical mass confidence really reflect on an old man. After all, in a young lady, I remember when I found was broken, so I tell it was like the tip off like a half of one wow, that's so cool. I would love to find something like that. You know somebody you. Used for sure, hundreds and hundreds of years ago you hold onto it trying to think about what time has passed very subtle check. This is old. Man's cave It really is employed in just it's just like now do that Young Ladys Gulch. I know my way around. That's a dope cool heads. You found an arrow here. There's a waterfall others tons of old maids, sure, sure so, cool and then there's like insides, where you go incentives like slag minds and still lag say we're still tight Stalag might and select. Have you ever seen that fuckin spot they found in Mexico? That looks like
member rum Superman's dad he had is the island we marilla brand. Now that didn't it would also have greatly he'd had a crazy idea. Diamond Miranda was his dad President Reno Daddy inquiry at that crazy place where they would go, and there was all the ice crystals should look drilling. Ninety four sociologist yeah, there's place in Mexico that looks like a real live fortress of solitude, pulled, pull it out, pull up just of solitude in Mexico, Crystal caves, Crystal Caves and Mexico, where these their crystals they're fucking, u dismantling our like giant once all over the place doesn't even look real and its apparently insanely hot down there are you kidding me stay down ever very long. Why you're examining a hundred forty. I grown you're grounded your cooking and Mexico, and this and these these things this, this is real it. These. Those are people, man, that's a fuckin, do food. These are those are sought: science, crazy, walking on top
these giant beams of crystal that's crazy. It's fucking insane. Those crystals are forty. Fifty feet long, some of them even more look about one, that's a hundred feet, long that it's crazy, giant around and you walk on them? Build bridges? That's amazing gathers a bunch of dope pictures. Do to you, You find some other ones. Some of em did story than look real. I can see these p standing a little one where the two what right arm like, That's really blue light. That's just what it when they lighted up. Did you know that they found that through singing amount of water. There was hidden in the earth's surface and stuff like that, it's a mineral they found. That is way more water in the in the earth and they, they recently they realize they realized, I'm sure will find a way to suck it out and use it for certain. I think it's like some sort of a mineral foreign. It's me
times more than ocean and all the oceans, yet we talked about yeah episodes, tonnage, pull up its Its albert huge underground reservoir holds three times as much water as in the oceans yeah. How fuckin crazy for that kind of shit. It's like it's! It's not actually water. I don't think the way. Current red eyes. Minerals radiates it's something something that its core. Ring would, and it's only been found and in the media rights. That's crazy! That's what this fuckin shit is think. That's it. They believe that, like a lot of the water, they believed that hit earth came from private scientists right now. Listen, we going what that you don't know what the fuck you're saying stupid. I don't What was it a lot of the black meteors? A lot of the water on this earth came from comets. That's what they think they think dead
that allow the water just came from space to when you see a comet knows big trails behind the comment: parley, that's water out of April that that was energy, drink I thought that monster, ok, yeah! So warm! I don't know how we got on this. Had we governess and water, if arrow heads verily arrow heads. Are we return model in areas which are not going as we will? We went somewhere where we went to old man's cave all mankind he doesn't crystal caves in next. The crystal Kazan. Mexico, yes, unlike J Logo, a bathtub carved out of crystal from extra some some hi hi clout quality. Or was it a million dollar bathtub. Car accident. That's awesome, man, that's totally unnecessary I just wonder whether did mouthing that its aim is ecevit all diamonds, and when you have this does I think, having a bathtub is a waste of money, let alone a crystal back did you not check that's right just as that? Don't u they'll have to have their legs
I just like other short of getting into a pool standing water to clean myself. There is nothing about the seeds of Paley. What the end of the day you're really just sitting in but soup, but soup allocated. I know I know my but our less you take a shower first and then two year disgusting place is yours. Sue watering down the amount of help! Anybody! That's? U spreading it out or evenly you just bringing but use all over your breast. He sent his feet quickly, trademark budgets about that the amount of you. You are not a good wiper, Shit material, it's still in your ass. If you are about to take a nice, clean bathtub and some it's okay, I'm just going to give a one slash sixteen of a teaspoon of shit and starting the war. Get the fuck out of here, I'm not getting that water
yeah you do they want to take a spoon is, is, is low, so was eventually, if your Harry, some italian guy, what a big fuckin area they Harry S, name at two percent shit network charity, disgusting, bathroom, fucking, weird man, it's a relaxation thing as much as it is a bathing thing. I know how to do shower the they invented and when these two have to like heat up. Why they just have a fire under them. That's when there is whether iron will is also also used to be like people took bands in this. Water. Yes, you don't want to love that water from the lake a hundred yards or the river you know domain inevitably like our mom, goes first by the moon. So much at that point that you know what I'm good good on the
I bet they never got sick people there. Just trading enter this area back and forth than poop and in the well enough the poop in the workplace is saying that every got sick is ridiculous. Now you did they get sick. What they die. Like millions of all done, one fluid hit people nine.
I'd from like diarrhoea? All the time isn't area that scares shit on me about this, a bowler think that they can. They can't contain it and keep spreading. They can't contain it. If you ve been Reno stores, they can't contain it in Africa, but some of the summer what's happening in those villages is people are not telling that the first of all there is no there's no like CDC. There are like kind of control in a situation like it's. It's a mess internally within the country, but also the people aren't allowed. People are scared, like it's a different culture, so people are scared. There's one doktor whose from the region who study here like Harvard in his back their down, he wrote this thing about it just saying, or they did an article on him to say how his biggest struggle is convincing people in these
is that they need to take these warring seriously and things like that. There's all these, like other components of a besides the fact that the disease is just spreading rapidly, but it the people aren't reacting properly. That makes so there's like more and I'm not saying it's not a terrible thing. I just mean there is more to it right. There structurally disorganized, it seems like there's. People are like not telling them that they were so died two days before and there's no nine. When one like ambulances, don't come there, not clearing the bodies out in time, it's a vet. It's not a first world situation. You know, TAT told which is a serious problem on a whole other, but it's it's one of the reasons it is difficult to control is not like a platinum We like this is not how the super disease spreads. Yeah spreads through.
A series of things that you as you watch the movie launch now came in the planned, don't get in the town in the light of the latest dad. Secondly, the least I knows all the whisky, those in your pay, it's it's in your case. It exhibits, slap yeah man, it's aggregate scary. It scares shit on me. Weird, but the more I read about different parts of Africa Mean is obviously Johannesburg. Innocent cities and I've met. People from South Africa that of course work, but that the whole of Africa is so fucking huge of look like when you look at a map. We look at a map, we look it up. Because, if, after the same size America, because on maps that kind of distorted have you seen that image when they put away inside Africa needs he. How big really is yeah fuckin monster as yet and its where everything started it and you can't don't say that
on the air without Jesus Swell, I mean that non. Stop that old, Adam was I don't know yet is ripping grant a couple weeks. I believe now me really I believe in it or like likes the tanks, that's how people came really incest. Europe is at that, but I was confused me well They have a kid and then have another kid, and then those five kids are the kids fuck each summit. In fact, you have to make people gotta make like nobody wants to hear that. You say that frank and Susan down the street at least you two guns spread out the dna a little bit come on. I know you work in mysterious ways, but cannot know how to do it again to start all over anyone know a sanitarium deal anti us on all those animals to forty eight, we probably couldn't fuck the animal disease,
his kids. I, for my part, am I gonna make people. Did my gonna? Save those low team is five hundred years old. I really felt that that should have been the rustle crow movie and just fucking kids. You don't have a two hours of Brussels grow fucking his daughter, while the flag, anthem, move Iraq, bonds guard over them. The I like the Hollywood executive, scowling made me. One of them came flocking over a bible. Listen if they ever explanation that Denmark, that lay a downright a couple of Jews, moving diet, thirty old testament and Has I don't give a shit? Could you imagine if you pitched a movie for Adam and Eve had to have sex with their children, because they realized is the only way for four children. Five so Adam and Eve could be played by Brad Pitt gotta, be in like someone hot I need you to a girlfriend, kick ass, which ones she's
I don't know anymore about like twenty bride of here. If it Brown Cathy Bates Fuckin Blow people's minds obscure to catch debates after misery, I wouldn't biology. After the moving off that's those are your movie reviews because, as he couldn't lack to excite, try turning it eight hours ago, artists, Joe Rogue it of the working time. Speaking awash with strange movies man, I saw under the skin with Scarlett Johansson weekends scene. It now I didn't know anything about its art movie that they made with her in Scotland, where they use hidden cameras, and she tried to pick up men like a scarlet yo that, just as she just when she had an English acts that are not she's, Anglo Saxon realise its real and other work. It's a lot of. It is real interactions with random people, no one of using them and their interaction with her in over the movies about her. She's, an alien, she comes here and tries to emulate human beings, and when she
human being? She she takes men give away the plot, but she lures them and with her beautiful good, looks and charm and she's naked and half the move, fuckin fantastic, right. This is because she's naked have them and you know what I love about her man she's, naked and she's, not thin, she's she's. These are one chooses sexy woman like I fucking hate that women think that they have to look very fast, even a death. Your identity, their attractive drives me not so silly, and also the did you see done Don jobs. I would call the night. It only- and I see that she is like a long- does really fine debts funny about like a long island like these coasts, I do hope you may like hit so many funny points like just him drive and around Yelena people go fuck it up again. That's how you driveway does, nor would it and then Scarlett Johansson though she plays like this
girl. You and damage is like. I love your parents. You know, like its awesome, goes over for Sunday dinner like so funny that itself, but she's out that carried are my friends always make fun of because, like long, island girls. I guy, if such a weakness for that comment earlier. I guess it's like it's like kryptonite like, even though why I like, I don't know it just like its that's what I grew up around. Sometimes I see a girl items really. The real going you lay back, I don't know it just like you know, like have a girl when you were a kid like going a Joan jet type web Jones, yet lived in my town for a while, so could be part of it. I don't know if it's weird it's my front. My body from college owes its paper to say Corky like that girls chalky, you know like from New York crash, is really raw re him again,
again, I'm so the opposite law I mean I'd. Believe me. I have not really been with too many girls like that, but there's like eight. I have an impulsive reaction with dockers, attractive, If that's what you grow up, when I hear that action, I think arguments yeah, we answer common shared, but isn't that the fund, not no. No, no, no, I'm not good. At those. I don't enjoy those specially into really snow arguments here you know, I don't mind argue with drunk idiots now begun argue chicken writings is fighting interrelate ships of working the world. The older you get so tired. You like yeah, fine. Yeah whatever know. Also, you start realizing. How come I never argue this with my friend, you know. What's going on there Look I haven't extra for a long time ago, back in the dizzy, who just loved fuckin fight and one one day I was hanging out with one my friends, we're laugh in joking around and I realize I go
Why is it that, when you're around, like certain people, it just becomes tents and fighting? Is it's not their fault study? false. Like you just need not be hanging around what those people like that kind of person, I shall find a god. She could steam role and shall have a good. And old time and maybe you'll enjoy their type relationship to. But it is not right for you. Well that's what it is. I think it's also a lot of issues. Personality like I have a very like. I want being control of my own ship kind of her yeah and I've been data people I was married pointy. I would the hollow the latter but yeah. I think, but I don't even think it's bad when you realise that that's an incompatibility, I think, there's a reality that which is like we're going to be conflicting all the way through the. Unlike what you'd know at some point, you just go, I'm crazy about his person, but like there seems to be.
A discotheque ride, my ability to agree and your ability agree with each other on things, because we both want to go away and is not absolute in these touch relationships. Sometimes people can disfigured out work about communicate with each other and make things better and sometimes a cat. You know it's like when you talk about these things. Whenever it sounds like given advice, a relation advice, people always get stuff one way or another there always like you're, judging or your this for you that, but the reality is who the fuck knows, what you it's like, the the dear of a man and a woman, finding the exact right compatibility for each other is so fuckin hard to do so when people like what they think they have to break up, and I don't have to break up, like God, Dammit fight Alla time. We got a fucking up it's hard to start all over again thrilling accurately were scared of. Yet people are scared of getting out of the bad one and then try to find a good one, because it's fuckin hard to find cool, peep, there's also a comfort in a relationship that, even when you're fighting there's a comfort to it, and we got a separate
The like, I don't know man we both like american idol. You gotta, like you, gotta, try to separate some of that and go like the other stuff. That's happening is not healthy. I've had my best relationships with six zero in common with just one word nice to each other. Yet I don't need the like that music. You like I can walk into go what the fuck are you listening to, but I don't get upset all that's the whole thing as long as they don't care, yak isn't. Sometimes you owe you disrespect. My show you like that, whether some guys, like you know I want my girls- are going to join with me in a store power left, unlike last Monday, It required no longer understand lifestyle, that's amazing, scooby, girls. We are, I think, you're attractive, but you don't really have traps. You don't work on your neck machine skinny Nell over have too much neck. I don't think it's so high that some less neck and a girl a ring worm on that figure. How did we get on the subject? The scarlet johannsen move your on airplane watch.
We are talking about other movies before their right We always have to figure out how we got on this. I thought I had. No, if series is it, this is typical me. I gotta know pan in front of me this legal, no pads and want to have something. I don't forget a write it down, and am I a magnet for good, in writing the story of my stand up. Writing good I'll, write it down tomorrow in now, and we will keep playing this video. Picnic emits Hedberg joke about that, I'm a pair raising, but it does sometimes Well, I'm lying in bed the idea for a joke either I have and our pad, or after convince myself that it wasn't a funny? I think she's so good he hears again. He would be awesome shit that this doesn't look funny on paper and you crying. Why he's one of those countries I saw? What are the chances he live once and boy? never watching and go and why I don't know why. I'm doing
use one of those bridges. What's the point like that, guy's out there, you know so unique. There's no Mitch Hedberg, you know it's like Mitch. Hedberg it does no one he's like he he's like those guys like Mitch, Hedberg now, but when I put him in a categories are goes, is unique little branch and his just his whole thing within his delivery. His I'll his performance is never really saw us face Yasser Arafat. So sad that guy area such a fucking raging drug problem that we lost him at such a young age say much or little man that crush me. I can't credible Geraldo, it's more like a war time accident. Where no, I know, but he did, he was struggling at any community but yeah safely and that not, as was not like Mitch, Hedberg the rumour I like this guy's, but we will hear land green here. Almost gonna lose his leg like we were
when we were Doug and I were working together and he got this phone call and he hung up. The phone is face was like a passion and he's like a headboard might loses leg. She's crying. I was like no fucking way, he coparently they've been shooting into the same vein over and over and over again, and it was just it was awful and infected, and you know when stand up was saying it. I was like that is like it's almost more fun in here and about a guy dying share in about a guy, gets its leg amputated because he was doing heroin too much actually, especially now crazy yeah, that's some like roman times. Yes,
right before he died. Do yeah was about a year before yadda think so warm when you know Doug was pretty close to them. I hope, Madam once man on Madame once at the store I went on after one night at the store he was really cool, is very friendly, avoiding a fan always and since then I actual is less than one of his arms like two or three days ago. Yes, crazy, even started, didn't work when it didn't work, he does have his way of God that one needs were decided on those eyes. His delivery, sudden, you not go how I intend that joke will not beyond the c d, a hair, raising the double tree joke about how they name their fuck, what What do you want to name the hotel who trees no double tree like it me. Adjourn apparently
yet of sacred second suggestion they were with the second stage. He would pick apart, like casual phrases, make them really hilarious, whose a plug in protein guy here awesome guy. You know you, I was wonder, and this is the unfortunate thing about. When a guy because I got know how much marijuana helped me help me right and I'm not. I'm not sure I admit it. I think like when I write I write when I'm on weed. I write things that I would never have come up with my own. I really do believe that it sounds crazy well. Maybe I would have come up with some things on our own, my own, but it's almost like we'd is your ghost writer and I see guy like him- and I wonder like what, what
much of that would just be on heroin. I don't know that's a good question, but I do think with we'd writing on weight. I think that you can come up with, but I don't know I think you are capable as capable is coming up, maybe different jokes, but you yokes what without being away or being away, but maybe, like a may, I think about that. Sometime soon I like it, I like smoking pie, go and manly decide the I would never thought of it, but then sometimes an exit. When I read it again last night I was, I think I might add, that I picture myself and like a billboard, Covenant money like he did. The billion cover affords like without to Jack Lars energetic work is heading in your heels, he's site, which she is good because it came up with
idea. What exactly was? That's always what I say to people as like when you start doing stand up, there's always that you are that thing you think it's gonna happen this moment we're like that it yeah because it used to be like people don't call sing in our whatever and and then you relies on notice, is long journey. If I try to get better at this craft and like yeah, there's no way you you ever feel like you made it. If you still working to produce nobody you're, always working on it. Yet now specialist comic your fuckin you're, always working on it, you have to be like area have to count. And you'd go on stage can can take six months of here and there and stop touring, and then you get up Scotland we be doing yet, though early or at least constantly be writing. They are about it and, like always, man go out, tries to for sure yeah for short, and I think a guideline Hedberg like he was just getting. Or just starting and catch the. How amazing that's what happened with Hicks too, when people
starting to her here, bottoms I've set for that's really say. I don't think I don't even think he probably had a clue wool, but he started and also how he will be remembered and sit, or I don't think you probably has an idea that he's regarded as like one of the great. Maybe he does or does it, but it's like. I always think about that like that is a guy that in the last ten years his like his legend has. Only grow it always material still relevant, which we are even the stuff. The people may not think is that funny, it's very relevant all day. You know, maybe the that in and see the real problem is a lot of things that he said. Everybody says now and they think oh, what's the big deal, everybody says that right, but didn't realize that in ninety ninety two know everybody wasn't saying it was just Hicks and is the fur can anybody was ever Santa should that he said in a stand up form like the young man on acid. Young man on ass in realising that life is just
embryonic when they like it realises this is pointless journey. If we ended a positive news story, that idea was like Why are they always just giving you only negative news stories and then, in his take on the Iraq war, mean he he basically, had material from then that could be used, The current Carl in the same way was amongst other key, a special. I favour. George transmission was jam and in New York, but you didn't like ninety two. I think we're not ninety ninety ninety two around them- and he has stuff in that that about the environment. That's like pertinent. Now is it while you were even more now particularly now? Is people talk about more butter war time indeed chain in the Iraq war, like shit that little verbatim translated. I'm not gonna, go play with toys in the sand. Play with your visit- is, as you know, to me, and it's like it just time all that's up. We love war in just about every ten years we average worn America and and saying things that are like not only fund
but like blow your mind and then the environment is like. I still believe his theory on the environment, which is like the people say like save the earth and he's acknowledge earth. Fine, like we're fucked equipment in it, when its radio shake off like a bad case, a fleas. You know it were a surface nuisance. You know when you start paying attention to all the different mass extinctions that they have been on earth. They just pulled up some new evidence that shows the there's another comment that hit the earth way before the dinosaurs. That was mag thousands of times a bigger impact than the one, the kill the dinosaurs couple billion years ago. Apparently we were hit by a planet. It happens that the earth at that that's what he gets smash the premise of two of the greatest movies of all. I'm Armageddon and other on what was the other Hayley impact? Deep impact is causing an Haley's comment. Memory impact it
You have to change the name for the porno. Now they did not reject it. That's a that's a scary, fuckin image, man, a giant five foot five mile wide. The african chug, a rum its can slamming the earth and everything. I also think, though, that, like any image of your own death is scary. Of course you know No, no, how its current doping everyone thinks as we like ninety Elaine in bed and that their grandkids we like take on their feet it all, but like your fucking, now we're, even if it is why you like in barely people said I want go my sleep. What are you going? sleep and the nightmares. The grim reaper is right in your face. Choking you to death screaming into your eyes. That's done way to go out there. That's tattered road dissymmetry write that down. I'm getting a tattoo insists on use red glowing eyes tattooed across my back, the reaper fuck em a face, may not talking you're holding you, you know your neck, hadn't mean its actual document uses,
go into town would have as it were, to send. It was broken. You wake up with the regulars cock and your mouth, what's: goin on sly, that road or router, that is their religion. Why my resistance? So much I don't mind, there's an that's how you die realising lack repercussions, its last shit. It's like you can get fucked in the ass in your dreams, but you can't die in your dreams right, I dont know how to help every three drew, my or even in, Sex Dream or why we rape. When I rose and rape the real nightmare would be that you loved it. Oh, I guess what it wanted and without solve all my problem right side. No, I told you I don't know. I don't think I feel like I'm a member like being. I guess I do still have sex trains occasionally thought my dream aren't like fun anymore. In Ireland. I have like fun ones whereas, like in war, and she had now that it is more like
I gotta check email. I really am I like dreams are lame. You know nothing about me school. I had a dream last night that I cleaned up my office hugging, that's some trees. I got up this morning to clean them. I said. Maybe my dream showed how fuckin slob, where my shit together? What does this mean? Arches musically your office, actually stopping a slob pack rat about the shit, we're boxes, magazines from like the eighties like when we read this again it sounds. Ales magazine people like an itinerary. What are you doing? You knows from the eighties, but with all this fuck was like stupid old, boxes of shared by that stuff old magazine, there's a whole market model on fire, and I want them alive. I want them to have it member used to give us your posters ease this issue is: there's just get rid of this brain,
he bade. All these policies have had from the early days of the EU have ceded pride posters that word their primary valuable. They were, as I mean, people left snatching he as they like, locks has Bmw. Yes, they were now they were quite valuable, actually got a guy just how to get rid of it. I feel the best way to do is let him Elam there's a few of them, and I almost wanted it keeps there were just cool poster, sets a far more on that prides. Burma, Iskri, Dover, black and blue one with the guy is quite a few. The old retort Belford One that was one from early. You have sees get this. That's that's interesting, stop a most of which is bullshit and also a fuckin old. No books are opened up and just go We keep in this general, read all material girl like a man, it's good, it's always like wow. This is bad and let it made no wonder they give me spot on it on whatever it was like. I was, I was a very good. It seems like it should
way easier than it is today figure out a way to write a joke. Yeah yeah. I find the easiest thing to do is think of concepts like I'd like write it down. And then play without stage. Is I don't I don't? I don't know, I don't have like a discipline writing process as much as I really like, finding it onstage and then try to repeat it. The next night, if I can and at its heart it's a bad way to do it in a lot of ways, because you could take sometimes Lara defined material, but by recorded now just record on my phone, I can listen to a bank. I told that joke you know we are certain why we're content of his early with a joke? It's, like, I told a joke, a perfect way that nightmare killed and I can't figure out what it said. I liked being able to go back and listening to our his paws there and ended. Sometimes it's just. I got lucky that one night in the turnout, all good. I have the same process for sure thing allowed. We will do, but I also I try to write stuff out, sometimes do just united
it's all right, like blog entries most whenever post, but I write the blog and treatment in the blog entry. A fine like a gem. Yet because you just court sort of writing these I'll. Pull that that's like the same thing is ripping on stage. You didn't do it with your would either. There's an out of my phone aloud. I just go to the notes thing. I just jam everything but then allowed it out like our way through it again and my I may have been stoned I sure yeah. It's like this is mean tenuous, best action are making here. You know me and then I realized, like I guarantee, there's a hundred bucks on that topic and I'm dumb- and this is not some fairly new idea and unlike yet there it is this. There is a will. There is always that I especially when you think you have an interesting idea that nobody or thought of today you just good new girl act as a forum dedicated to it. They are not actually question I always have for other comics, which is what is your because I have had people come up to me at Stana Clubs, both both ways, but I've had people
I mean it was comic down here. You know like em it in land or something some long iron, ostensibly located, whose comic down here is doing a big day. You did in your half hour, looks largest. Let him now ass, yet but never do that. It's nothing! It's ok like at about the way you watch my about you know I mean I don't even know anyone saw that fuckin thing, but if, like the idea that somebody else wouldn't come on, especially premises, combat illegal. You know, Joe, you know, Lucy Kate, that stuff on aeroplanes are gathered. A hundred topics in the Fuckin workforce can call topic. We can't call airplanes what you know. What I mean the battle that Louis the unjust saying like there is this weird thing now, like this comedy police, think, but at the same time I have seen. I know you ve before comics straight up steel, other people, or maybe unintentionally, but as always gonna be that man's who's gonna be, but I do think what the internet. Now it's really hard. You know you do a joke. This Sabbath daily show come up with a joke in formula commercially patent. Oswald tweeted that, like an hour ago, would we support
do check everyone's twitter, like we gotta put his show on especially a topical. That's land borders, one person, one just come up with an obvious, promote yeah, exactly to elect that happens. Sometimes that's what our right to jobs and because you know you twenty minutes behind someone's. Unlike ok, I don't know man like I didn't. I didn't steal it yeah, unlike in both for defence. It's not that good. I think it's a twitter joke, yeah I think this is designed to be parallel thinking, but what people really worried about player as long as it's not plagiarism you can't know when it's plagiarism, because never just one instance, nobody is nowhere steals like one awesome bit totally were, and then everything else is totally original. Yeah well nigh the the I've never seen anything in my life, like somebody did cut online. Other men see a bill. Cosby from cars yeah, it's awful, I media that was that was astonishing, and it's just that
One night, I was his whole career, nine out, why not you know, and it without was, that was an interesting they but you're right, you're right that people say hey so Does that mean we aren't? I won't do it. Peace is a lot of people who want to take short cuts for everything. Absolutely no they're gonna. Take or cuts for every single thing there is and if there was a way that they can just take someone song and twisted around a little bit and put it on record and sell at this sounds like back and black non unarmed, black and blue gamble, and I mean this there's fuckers that are like the man knows ashore copy something in just sort of re rebranded, but you can't do that music and so the shit out of cities should yet still doing comedy. Can, and I also think it's hard to. I just I really do think is more, doesn't honour system more here. Just do your best to do your own stuff and I would say to people who would have some instilled a joke. You, our just another one like I don't like it either you can write more or you can't like if it learned the
or of stuff. I was doing right now is the only our I could ever come up with them like right away. Here, namely that if you were the only thing I would bill as there's a certain responsibility have in saying so because if you dont say something, then he steals for somebody out, and he doesn't say something. This is from the user of almost help. The problem, if you dont, if you dont, have a dialogue with the guy could you mean you may never know you might say something new em and human stories in his life and he might not even known that you did it. You might hurt somebody else say it somewhere and forgot and then come up with it. There's weird things do happen on my phone MIKE you always wasn't. A thief is young comic. You fell asleep, listening to a fuckin, Dennis see. That's a man or a cassette at the time- and I was like everyone has an open mind and then have is perfect. Dennis Miller joke the next decimated
Can I go do more like the place and myself and if it gets weird like you were wondering my head from side to side with Almah jokes now, things have fared better know. What's a couple dispatch, I think it was my grandfather was when Reagan was. President is a grades, Only two and he's got access to the button. My grandfather, seventy two: we don't let em user remote control for the tv me said it like just like Miller to Tommy's like FARC that so far, but that's happening the economic government one for another. You come up with his great at any rate, not, I think, that's ten hours Shit yeah tells the best that he's a vessel like he'll call you up like the Middle Noah Pavia her there's, no a good run, the joke. Buyer
You mean he runs the idea that, as long as you heard anything like this before, but I tell you easy Tell- is also one of those guys. I find if I listen to too much. Ideas can be just like one of my favorite comics yet, and I find myself sometimes onset Quinn to combat those guys we're outta this guy. With my wait a minute, that's not! I should be doing that. You know what you do to cure, the you watch Brodie Stevens and then you'll start saying, enjoy it about alive, you get ill or he'll broke. My heart is the most high protein yeah, but vice of dual Brody in realising the fire, but I had eight when it tell does it think I'd stage worth I'll say something in somebody gets poles. Baggily com drowned Rebecca, you know anyone's day really just makes up names. I pocket. You know he's at all over here of jet, like he's one of those guys rival, occasionally have to walk out of the room, because I don't like, oh my god.
For so good, but yet by here too much sure it gets. You know, get that near you, it's funny about him too, fuck your hates everything does it. While you talk to eyes, I die of AIDS can watch wants myself here, he's yeah he's he's out. I think that's what the reasons why so good? I also think he's just kind of such a purist he's here he's about ITALY Yet, as you can bear yeah, oh yeah he's a legit. Stana comic, you know got a kettlebells one, yeah really the accident. You turn a mother, I don't think so Think somebody else must have real enough. We talked about it when he was on the park, gas, but still smokes, but he's been lifting kettle I was really into according to our automata staves, actually from my hometown, Adele where's, that the centre was Amy Humor There are long island, yeah, lowest raffle centre, which I think the South shore on your garden city and targeting of townspeople oceans weird you started doing stand up. I start
right when I got out of school, I did caught my senior college. Did it shone Boston, twenty you're laughing. Ninety nine, and then I got a job at the daily show, basically right out of school, and I started doing stand right then, twenty wow and were you doing like ie side what those isa wasn't around back than what I was doing any efforts vows with anything. I was already gone on think so now I was doing Gotham Garth Ringer shows, which were like you bring six pipe six people and a new annex six. Thirty at night they ve packed house and it's all new context, but you know they ve, basically asking your friends and family to pay for you did you stand? There are military and it's a smart thing for the club, and it gives you a sense of what it's like to be a real stage. Two great. I thought it was a great system having been from New York, I was able to get my five people occasionally, but then, after you do that for five times as well.
This is not a sustainable business will have either elevator. I like as generous as it is. You mean at some point, you're gonna wanna do every said. I do it for my mom and dad because I need somebody come you know, and I and then you start, you know finding ways to get up in the beginning. It was more. I did more producing my own shows I get up. I was in New York is hard in a little louder. Really like you're going up, it gets a cocktail. Do ten minutes, no direct, the like first we come in and then tell them. You know. Ben Corbett, like you, got a lot of great Stanhope living in New York going to those club so and it's easy to take a cab from clubbed. Clubs I was doing a lot of produce in my own stuff in bars and bases, and then what you do is you barter stay
time with the other yeah, so you're like I'll, give you ten minutes about. You know it's a cosmic. A comedy currency was a great waiting to get up on stage, meet other comics and go to like really shitty basements and do really weird shows. In bar. I wanted a bar in in white plains, like New York, which is like north of the city to ignore the yunkers, and that, with everyone's there had watched the Yankee game. And all of a sudden the bartender just shut off all the tv series. I was with the full Tommy. You know the local bodies a comedy, generically points in my direction. We're upstanding holy, Michael. What and then Statistics show that it has taken the E train Crosstown right, what a nightmare you know you're like do you think I mean I've had a lot of those gonna shows how do the exact same Tiber shows in Boston we used to do it at this place in Cape COD is means I'll, disarm and some other dude. I forget
and we were out there in the middle of nowhere and a hockey game was almost the same thing: S shut off the Fuckin hockey twitter comedy and we ain't death yeah, oh yes to and then it all. It is, then, is an exercise in your ability to sustain humiliation, holiday, there's, no, there's no people go, you learn from. Naturally you learned not to do property in a fuckin sports. Far when there's a game on in there been other ones were they to do? There was one that Boston comedies to book for a little while that was a disco was like a night club and they would stop the music. We any they wouldn't even have a stage. They would turn the spotlight on the dance floor and we stand you stand there. But you were standing and you do stand up. I that's incur I've done. I've done rooms where the route that is incredibly Nicht, APOLLO, didn't ya. Gotta fight. Would somebody- and I think that's when they shouted constant habit deposited well. I can handle it, but as an elaborate on anything but yeah he's another guy he's like Larry,
some self Ani so good, but is a good due to the great that's the thing I've I've found with with comedy when I first started I've member it feeling man like this. Everyone in this is that we are in and competitive, but then, as you do it for awhile, and you get past the first stage of like crazy, just looking for five minutes here and early really sure they get no like real professional comedians people. Do it there's a like weird bond between people who do stand up like it's out of of only had I mean I can't say, a hundred per cent of the town. It's a ninety five percent of the time. I've met other standard comedians out Whatever level I've had a pretty easy time to chat with him it get along with them like it once once your path that like going on, I am be beating about the other is doing today, then you get comfortable and who we are you know here? I don't know, that's been my experience, I don't obey my experience to its will. I ran to warm I forget who was
but we were just haven't his exact same conversation, goddamn and who was it ever get dammit? I hate when I can't pull up a vacant but I will have an exact same conversation and it seems like When you run into how many comics others or even a thousand professional comedians in the country to run and you're gonna write another like that, and I well that's how I feel Mario Joiner, does wherein to Mario Joy who was the host of empty? We have our economy our and ran into him at the airport on the way to Toronto. And I will have the same sort of conversation. Psych seems you see someone to combat. Ok with I'm a barely talk that guy five times my legs like old friend. That's what I mean that gives you kind of yeah. It's mostly like on the road is last year. You know and I'm not a state like I'm head learning, but on that I don't have bans. Legato people come see me. So if I go to like zany in Chicago or a gorilla, helium and failure, or just in Madison places, were like there's fancy the daily show problem,
more than not, and they promote it very well. I get sell out a room that holds like one. Fifty two But if I go down like Tampa on a Wednesday night and some of those rooms, great ike out, I love Oliver and like size. There is, as I love that arose, but their big clubs and you got Wednesday night like nobody comes that you don't mean it like by Saturday. There's some people in there, but like Wednesday night, you know fifty people around the hoped for under illegal hey. You know like people just like hammered in open arms, whatever like so it's like I've, but when you have those berries and you meet other people have had those experiences like you have a lot. You know, there's just eating looked like I'd. Try now to eat as healthy is account, but when I'm on the road, I just don't even try cause it's you're like a hotel in Fucking Kentucky. Right and, like I did what I say to people you know when you're driving on the highway, and sometimes you see a guy walking on the highway. Unlike that's probably stand commission because, like you stand I don't, have a car and then I guess, there's an Applebee's across
the highway. He thought. How does I guess? I got a walk, a highway like it's a weird, it's a weird things. Are you end up doing stuff? Other people do that most adult humans, wouldn't do so. You have is like a lot mixed up behind over. You know what just a job itself being so strange. We have a bunch of shit in your head and sang and onstage totally from a microphone a spotlight on you very bizarre. The psychology behind it very few people are gonna. Yet when I really relate, but if you run into a comic like while, if you fuckin play that room too, because you know right, Charlie good night on a Saturday night. You know the country met western bars next or from that's, but we want next door once we with Charlie Goodnight, when next door It was a country western bar with a ball on account of all tat to the gills
People were singing songs. You ve never heard your life and everyone knows the fuckin words through all singing along and its America S eloquent package by a German annually from this country, so that you know the words there. They are sing, you long songs. You ve never fucking heard in your life. Oh really, I owe you an essay like the classics, Why isn't what makes you weren't Alabama like? You know how you sing too sweet home Alabama come everybody knows it's all right. It's like that. But a song you ve, never fucking her. No real country, something real country. Yeah yeah, like yeah, get her down Travis trick Travis trick tunes on you. I they go not there, that's a whole different are the world it is either. No place. They start talking about NASCAR yeah. I've got up I've gotta play is where they know. Like me, a lot just cause I come. I always feel like the whole thing was Stanhope people's electoral there's, a weird thing you have to get over in the beginning, which is your kind of an asshole for wanting
do it right, because your basically saying people not only do, I think, I'm funny. I think I'm so funny that you should see, you're. Not talk, pay, money and hear what I have to do today so like I was, like the people, know you and you don't already have their trust as a performer Did you see some guy coming to remove all your come? Some guy thinks he's funny. You know and like I've found that I end up in conversations with people in places, I don't want to do you know, talk to them or about things. Anyone talk about an eye out, we're way I really like it. I got really like going to places in America that it probably wouldn't of travel to and like talking to people who are not from the universe are made in here and their perspective on shit. It's kind of interesting is very interesting. Very interesting to talk to people that are just as confident in their beliefs which are polar opposite of your and some of em. Like you know, you you're gonna, some places in the deep south. Specially though just assume
that you are you're on their side about certain thing, added to start chimed in about whatever Unifil in the black. But well, though, this and welfare state, or am. I also feel that sometimes, though there is that perception and There is also the flip side, which is not buddy! Is that not everybody is the stereotype of what you think those places are supposed to bet? That's true. You end up getting into conversational people you're the guy now, like maybe my You on again, like I said we ve come a foregone like yeah. I totally understand this Agamemnon probe second amendment. At the same time, I do think we tone it down some alley. We did modify it like. We should move some other stuff, but a man you're gonna conversation People and you find a lot of people are now actually agree with you, man. I got love guns and hunt, and this in that, but like I, don't know that it should be that easy to get em. I'm saying like you, you get like there's there's out, I find that most people are actually pretty reasonable and that they like extreme extreme people, are not.
Not the majority at least minors are not the majority, there's a small percentage but they're so Vulcan. We so obsessed with angry. That's with everything everything you know you ve, go to a men's rights, page Rita men's rights, foreign holy fuck, that's another one! Where you go in it's a tough, that's a tough trained jump, meds methods for its look. I dont think that should get fucked overrun divorces, which seems to be the only issue. The only issue to me seems to be like child custody and financial support that those the only the annulled journey. Other issues, I think, where else or men get I mean, maybe there's something else, but maybe I miss in it, but I don't know I've. I think it depends on the divorce like. I think that that, depending on what went on in that relationship is really the determining factor I mean, I guess it's more common for, though the women to get kids and more money, but I think if you're getting kids like
the net should get the fuckin money like as a guy's responsibility to hear us kids, even if they get divorced. You know that unless she did something to like you haven't danger the family ran. Like I think, a lot of times divorces. Are you no one saw more. One sided you know: maybe then we realize, Why point is I think, a lot of times guys are the dick like? Sometimes women are evil, though that's I've had friends who have been involved: evil, divorces, silver friends, lost shitload of mind, Scott just down Yeah? You got scammed. I can bring you a bunch of stores, which I just don't want to talk about them on the air, but about good friends for lost everything. They work for filling a decade jobs. I know that it happens on both sides will willing Gerda it over and men get fucked over filbert. Does that bit? His last best thing was his last one idea. You people are all the same. What he's talking about? We have EIA gold digging like
or is it sick? It's unbelievable he's like that's an epidemic like nobody taught Arnold Schwarzenegger how to handle the apple of light. If you know right that it should, he just goes through which words Nigger accomplice to get dorias he does make some a sympathetic fabric Turk and allowing us it's incredible music. This god we have a gold digging hooker per se. Khan Schwarzenegger's made golden you home. He was there, it was just the you. I think I think he's college medical, I'm beginning to the care of the OECD. I want to see you got. It seems that specialists and that special is one of the best hours I've ever seen. I love bill. He's incredibly he's funny credible. He always has some great points he has. Its crew bid throws listen to the other day about. Women, saying that being a mom is the hardest job in the world. How did you do that?
this job in the world. You fuckin pajamas, and this is what it is. I thought it would be being a redhead roofing in August. I e those goods in that. In that special, you say how we by a gun and a guy wanted a shot gun. You not like the guy with China, so modest. Our negotiators gotta good spray. It's getting its brain Ngos because I just want to hear- bad gonna wanna be doing all sorts of dry wall work out. What are you guys? I do want to have to rephrase my diplomas and get a new parakeet. I just what I had the bad guy get like. I was a very wise to relieve my diplomas. That's real it's, but that's it
so that our is like he taught any dared moment and that special live on stage in this huge theatre. Work he's talking about like hitting women. Things like you just would be so scared to talk right and he feels the room back away and goes don't pull the wet he's a don't back away like lit he like goes. Its honour, its the guys is as good lazy, epitome of Boston, comedy ETA, Boston style of attack, comedy tat, comedy and liked owning your perspective, owning your share, thought it through you're gonna fight, you fight it, so he has his fine bit too about black people being the they get called racist less than why people, just because of where they put the word fuck ok, goes because a black. I will go so YO. Those is Asia, mother, Fucker, and he in you know, and nobody nobody hits a beat. But if you go yeah, this FUCK Asian Asia, because its
said the same thing racist well, we can hopefully a fork the road really funny very funny. So true. Yet because if you like this Asian Fucker, that's like a cool asian Fucker, be a cool fucking asian Rohingya over somewhere or took out, doesn't like asian rice like another one walking Asian. That's who bought the new House fog in Asia? TAT Jesus was asian mother Fucker cool over and asked him whether he could totally different. That's really funny, while he's a good I am for comedy. Isn't it inside is a good time to see different complex, I'm really funny comics out. I agree too. I also think it's cool. You know. I think that the internet is a Kuwait alike. Excuse me,
exposed to people who I am and and and see different styles and an end to a different, I'm always so happy like I like, I said I go where these clubs, unlike the another Perry Upper Middle actor. You know that our features or whatever the same thing but opener and like there's a lot of guys out there, just good there's really go the gallic interesting perspectives, many people and, like you know, there's a couple Cox and often I've worked with like fuckin hysterical and their law do you know like ETA haven't like jumped on the play? yet L, a known to me or New York, wherever they want to do it next, but other than that. The really cool thing about colony is, I mean I was from New York and work out the delicious. Why didn't do anything but try to get up there, which is always hard, still is hard, but I did a, but you know there's these guys who live in these cities and, like there's a whole scene, whole calmly scene, and it gets tonnes stage time, so they get really
really good. They go to the smaller markets like Atlanta. I did a place called the laughing skull and land in using eighty people per and they elect unlimited states. I'm Delay edged. Whatever man have fun. You like o K. I will have fun and not let that like forty five minutes, not because of the table, such as the Azores out, that's what we do here to laugh in scale and like all the comments were there. They're called are good funny. It's like others a whole way to get good at this without having to you, know big people to give you ten minutes, which is which is nice yeah. Well, it should do should be a bunch of different options, but it's cool like the laughing skull comes along. We have like one club which is sort of the epicenter of creativity in Alex. Did not make a lot of money. There are the guarantee that their, Good comics ensure their pay. The bills is up. It's not motivated by that. While it is a real feeling too that place yet that it's the restaurant bar, that's a nasty with that
making money yet which was killer too by the way they have been fuckin cheeseburger every evening, while it's a real like southern Greece pit, it's so good. Lastly, data Cuplike after each shall I'd like to have it to go, Whatever gross thing, I orders and let you know that's like another thing you always combined with comics about- is like the gross thing you ate in your hotel room up like just waking up like you. Don't let go out due to dig it fairly going home stopping getting if cheese egg get a goat undergoing room just like leaning over the desk in a high it like devalue, Cheesacre thinking right into better living, just terrible decision making I've done that many times. I was gonna where my grief Tony's too short to the Let us cleaner, my closet as I've throughout a bunch shirts in like old, stupid, Mme teacher to people give means accept stacks of ship. I've been thrown away, and this greasy tony shirt no charge for extra Greece. These we this place Creasy Tony's, which is it
Austria for the Tempi Improv and it was the quintessential late night. Take it back to your hotel room, he did you, wake up the room smell. Peppery, I was caught a garbage pale Korea that was his big. Now he had a big sound called the garbage pay off and it was everything was in it version, tomatoes and let us steak and my god it was ridiculous and you just see the grease stains, unlike the Hilton blotter, on the desk from I, before you died of a heart attack shocker We saw that come on get news last year was a healthy guy. Who could explain things called garbage sandwiches, two out of order that where we saw him after, like a bunch of years, we see Mary Year one year wasn't there and we saw the next year. Apparently it had a heart attack and had heart surgery and he lost a ton away in detail at the end. Was yet a catch open and the next time we came back. He was dead, he was nice, but it was one of those spots.
Champion priority that great great great great club, while townspeople Fucking Party, If there is a few places that every time or in that city, where I think we got a good but Bieber's ermine was called the in Houston acrostic, they had that cheese than any with beeper had that she has put aside. Forget? The name it went under two did not go underling, so I regret flooded well that clutter when under so no one goes down there any more anyway. It's that was a perfect example accused him was incredible play for comedy, but was all because the last stop the last stop in river oaks, my God, what a club real! What It was fantastic recording, my first cd there and ninety. Ninety nine SEC Finally, this is our stance. Well, under the guy, running it,
this crazy dude, who alot of people implicated with getting joint people mad at him. Then he got drugs allegedly for some comedians and could have included Hedberg, allegedly gotcha, and so he like, when he was run in the cloud, but apparently was siphoning money allegedly, is that she sank. Allegedly these strange times be extra amounts his name but either way that guy, for all his faults, was the reason why comedy was so like big in that completely supported open mind completely. Ported, like young tower completely supported local talent with a good open mind when it came to Carmody really mean to do the right thing is: wasn't really has club whose like working for it- and you know he cut- let everybody to believe it was his club,
gotcha. There was really an actual owner behind it, yeah that he probably books were cooked legislation. Man when we're working, there was amazing, it was the perfect set up. The stage was perfect. The audiences perfect that was one on the proudest places that I like a guy cutting at the last stop to me, was like we're Kennison stuff. Now Hicks sorry I didn't really well I've. Had I find that a lot of times. I've had a lot of times, but there's been a few times where I've gone to clubs that are new, whose one in New York that opened a couple years ago and I loved called comics and plot economies didn't like it. It was like look to glitzy at nice, but I do a lot of set serious, but you pack the places, really great room and what they treated you like almost too well in her leg. It was I used yet we know that there is a green room and then they will not give you the would be like a menu. What or anything you want, and it was like this place, to stay. There is no way you can feed comics like that, and keep this place going. There's no way to New York City like the rent, must been fifty grand a week a month whatever, so
all of a sudden. Over time and again I love this cover would be sit in the green room and then you know the E3 menus in Fiji, water and things holy shit It's like a Tuesday night shower. They went like fifty people. What? If that and there's fucking unlimited and then also near the animals and you're gonna green room and the menu which just like sliders. There was one thing out of any now and then it was like up thing: a war. A pitcher of water. You know domain and then lying you started yet like they started to scale back on all that seven. That's when you like these places the spaces, and this is going you just and then all said they were doing things or after comedy, there haven't dj command for like late night, dance parted and look like we set them when there is connected to the hotel where you can just go up now that I was the one that was in an area that is not known for love and attain more teeth, it's right, but like in the meantime fourteenth. Neither was it used to be a bar called shit. What was a call? It was an old
a throwback saloon kind of bar that these avenue. I can't think of the name of this kind of famous and a peanut shells on the floor and like the rules, I got tired ugly type of I once went there. I went with her one time and those in college, and I saw a guy in a wheelchair, get into a fight with a guide, not no wheelchair any one. It was one of the more amazing things I've ever yet like that, like a bar fight except one of the duties than wheelchair, and he launched himself out of the wheelchair, tackle this guy and was just pummeling. Dude. Oh my god, I think there was was I which, as you know, is one of those barf rights at all. That happened so quickly. Just sort of going to set did that guy just jump out if we carry on and that you got broken up and he just kind of like crawled back to a wheelchair, now barely been Crawley. I just like four
and things in a spring. He was back in his chair that dude Fuckin goes for real. You know. That's when I picked my wheelchair fighting shell, which did which never went, cripple fight will using those wheelchair basque bloggers. Those motherfuckers can move other serious work and have it yet, but that was a really weird bar like for New York City. That was not like that was before everything kind of turned in that area like it was a really like shady the kind place were like dad's, gonna fight with guys in wheelchairs. You know like in those areas it used to be shady and our children more. It's amazing to me how about happen earlier than showed a line up real estate unaffordable lazzarini lately that this that near cities become completely offensively unaffordable yeah. I looked at some places when I was there last like like what, if I lived here, what could I fought like what whether cause, what
that's an apartment. I mean a lot is out of month. What are you fucking kidding me? The standard used to be, if you were to buy a place like maybe eight nine years ago, ten years ago, would be like a thousand dollars. A square foot two thousand square feet was a million bucks and that's like, without a view or whatever right now, those prices or even higher. I think performer listens, I've seen and now in queens. Neighborhoods that you'd, I don't care like, like I've, lichens out from Long Island, Queens part along island right there like ten minutes, probably from where I grew up. But now you start to see these neighborhoods retainer flipping in queens on long island cities, the coolest you gotta get a place there. Now those apartments are a thousand bucks, a square foot and their outside the fucking Midtown tunnel Listen to. I don't care who you're selling on fucking queens. It's queens like it's going to be queens. It's not going to not be queen, like don't, buy a play store for milk
but what about Brooklyn Brooklyn, Virgil NEWS to be Brooklyn Brooklyn same thing at Brookland, completely turned yeah. I mean it's really turned around in this like a lot more of a real estate. Guy cliff is even in broken leg area. These idiots in williamsburg- I don't know what they're doing, but yet my friend had a place in Brooklyn that was almost better than Livin in Manhattan. Brocade awesome! Well, here place where he was across the river, but he had this like top floor of as this apartment we look out, you see the most insane city, the city when the water from a distance. As I do you mind of the as for you in the world that is this, is it might be worth living in Brooklyn? Just for this view, That's what they're sellen in queens cause you're right on the other side of the river yeah you're, looking right at midtown that view and sent amazing, it's almost better than being in it, because when you- and if you like, but it up with all these other building, yes, absolutely chains got a spot chain Smith's gotta spot like on the river
Do you work out from his his living room? It's just all glass, you that's! Why that five places like that, if you got them, I don't know him or when he got a space, but is like that kind of real estate was like a home run. Fifteen years ago you no enemy, but now it's, it's all been discovered realities fleetly it is. It's it's on a full inquiry. Nothing is like, if you look at it from Jersey, it doesn't look good, but you really want to be in like brought me. One of your like were right there on it like we are seeing the views of like Abdo Heeny in Hollywood held yes, dude nighttime can't believe how cool it looks. It looks like you're in a science fiction movement. Now it's crazy because you're on I hill looking down at the light grid available and its magical, it's almost cooler than stars. Really it's! It's like. It's actually looks a lot like the start. Your above them Liane looks like say at symmetrical. It's the best view. In all events, I, like Ella, has some gray views of use. The ocean is pretty bad ass. The views of the matter,
it's a pretty bad ass, but the view over, like cohesion, looking down like those any of those really high spotless Hollywood splatter flash. It was a scary places them does Hollywood Hills houses get robbed, do they yeah? That's where, like the young men, girls going I would have his name is that guy Joe something who got he kept fuckin ass, some like that they moment personal, so many men had done something him up but people EC iced tea, got home invaded up there really here. I know a dude who was in the mill the nights when trying to break into his house shit. Yes, areas, no gaga murdered up there. What real, the other day? Had two people break into his house in the same day and one of them was naked, but do you really know doesn't know jack theory? I know churches that's a victory on his part. That's it that's guided, not
I don't know man legitimacy, the Ella ere I just I started Lebanon. I gotta place out here and I was digging it man. I was really into it. Now, I'm going back to do the other thing in New York for while so I like, your lot. Rather nice things, the weather, the weather's awesome yeah. It is, No, no. I also just the lifestyle. There is a difference like when I first got here a couple months ago. A year ago I was thinking like all my people out here. Deck dont work, what the fuck you know in New York people at work in, like well look. I was saying how it's better is like you, gonna work, eleven hours just keep the lights on your eyes, but then he realized here not that it's it's at. Seventy, cheaper, real estate, wise, but it's after the style of living is not there's like more people have lunch and like ride their bikes, unlike exercised sectors more free time then propose it. That's a whole other way to live a kite elphick! That's what you know you don't have to just be like turning the work machine. I feel sick people work at a tv show they gonna hiatus. They float for a couple months and they pick up another gig they're out like
At least that was my perception. Maybe this is also what you said. Also the amount of money that you need to spend to live in New York. You're gonna have to walk like that. I don't know it's the culture there. It's like people, don't ever an up a half the jobs, not even half like it feels like a majority. The jobs in New York are just jobs where you like cell money to make money like as all these like Wall Street. So there's nothing like the airline industry really like contributing there. If you don't like this, like shoes, are common, often assembly line that just like you, some paper based more paper like he's more money and then the like jets equal. But it's like this and stop of all like wealth machine. It's it's kind of growth and its already they become accustomed to. Nobody wants a ban now like they love it. No legal running about hedge fund thing super well, the young Turks had this thing
there are doing about the the presidential campaign. They have something on their linked on their website where you can, for you could write in people who you'd like to see run for president instead of Hillary Clinton or where they were talking about how much money Hillary Clinton has gotten from banks. This recently from Goldman Sachs doing speaking her engagement, a country's authorities, hours this recently just to give these sympathetic speeches about how people, in our stand, the bank's art, Thou Band, Zadig, whatever whatever tax and in a very good and I can stand on your principles when it looking raise money. They, those people, are just there making too much money fuckin use exactly said, using numbers moving one, zeros and taking big percentages of those movements No one understands how or why do people that understand it, but like it really makes you feel if the economy is to make believe anyway, right as it's like this weird thing, we're like you, look at your computer screen and there's like numbers on it,
when you buy something like those numbers, go to shoot, Hunt, and you have a thing like this. The Olympic there's only gets others. My credit card, like I hand somebody by credit card and then they Give me said item I just get to leave with this. Now I've. Never really given you anything. You realize that you just swiped thing in nine years. I sign this thing. It's weird there's act is weird lack of actual exchange. Yeah? You know, and so these guys, if I figured out that system somehow will they have, but they have only because of the need for a third party system and that's where bit When things I take a very interesting and terrifying for people that run things right now, financially be if you too, if digital currency gets adopted is adopted in a lot of ways. Now it is a lot of things you can buy and pay for it. Bitcoin. There's a lot of he bore doing shows we could pay for their show and Bitcoin there their buying televisions and
Tiger direct selling computers with Bitcoin, having tells using Bitcoin to right. I think of my button, a bureau about that, but that when that catches on then this this whole business goes away. His there's no third already, if you wanna, do you sell microphones and I say, hey Rory: I want to buy a microphone. How many bitcoin is it tell me how much give a tumor dont between you and me in the current year, dagger private car right now we got the IRS does know how to handle it. They're calling it property that I'm not saying it's income. I bet they figure out a way to make money. Oh yeah No doubt the will Africa way to make money on marijuana about. That's the whole that to me, though, that's the only really at that I mean, I guess now its becoming legal of a country, but it feels like you know if they want to make money like just tax weed: legal. Like you know, that's gonna get us out hundreds of millions yet very quickly like it just like that it, like everybody, wants it and then you'll make money and in whatever take some extra money for it at least not ITALY. We people go to jail for me, he'd still, with its source,
Let's is fighting it's fucking up this economy because you're giving people money in a way with you make it illegal you giving people you they're, gonna, sell it. There's gonna, say people money and year your feet, they out some sort of away where they have to shoot the system and I pay taxes on it. You're not gonna, get your cut in Colorado. They get thirty nine percent. I give you buy it point. Thirty nine percent goes to taxes and everybody's. Like ok who cares that still which still fairly cheap, it's still a couple bucks for a joint or whether returns outdated. Anyhow, the diary we lost this point, those guys whipped. You go out for drinks. How much do you spend everybody by the Drank as five bucks is another five bucks by around for your buddies, its thirty dollars. This is tat your we if the other night you're out a few hundred bucks. If you have a couple hundred bucks of we'd Europe
in coma for a week. They might not survive on. My first gotta die from a couple hundred dollars a week, but that's why it's like that's. Why it's? I think that there's the hesitations. I think that there is a lot of like big business concern about what is that mean dazzling? You know I mean, like you know. After all, companies tobacco companies, like all all sorts of big bride politicians can industries are word, but that is what we call it. The prescription drug company here, people that link concern that they won't be controlling this substance, that people You know it's a lot easier to grow pot in your Magyar than disliking stomp grapes and make wine. I think, we're down. I don't know, what's also have a real problem when you're running any sort, Lawson revenue because of legalization things, even if they came over the potential loss of revenue, but we Curie Bola there's a lot of companies. How do I fucked
those are ridiculous. You you have stockholders, you have to make the money and right we're up five percent. This quarter right. Will you, if you keep going you're gonna, have all the money on the planet right? How is that possible hit so weird? I can't keep going or open for another hundred years. Business seems to me that if I do my calculations IBM or fuckin apple, you have all the money If you keep growing you own a certain point in time to step back. That sounds ridiculous. Well, there's gonna be like for coming he's in the whole world. It's getting there now, anyway, socially as they start to like yeah I was so they all have to be terrified about any potential loss of revenue, so potential Lawson, because of legalization things even if they came up with a potential loss revenue, but we cure Ebola, there's a lot companies are doing, fuck that we're not losing money. Fuck those Africans hey if they want to fuck and play with bodies over their got it. I think that that's a very accurate
from my understanding of it, which is limited. I will pretends not, but it's like for my understanding of it. It seems that the two straight up, hard core business mentality, is the only thing that matters is the proof that the bottom line is how much we made an and that's the job that they have, such as make sure those numbers get high and then that it becomes a sort of thing but well who's to tell them what they should or shouldn't do with that money and that's a demo. That's a larger arguing No well, no governments taken tax and that money so technically there given a lot of it away. You know that's none anyway, so then, why do they have to cure ball it? Why can't I just get a crystal bath up, like was the fucking who's to say they can't write and that's where you get into this, like what I call it. The soup of America right now works like people are mad that there's like these soup,
rich people, but then there's another group, people who are poor and being told that some day they will be super rich, so they should protect the superficial right and then there's the laughter just feels like our now in everybody's got. It is everyone's. You have an equal share of everything. I don't know. I can't have an equal share, while some people dont equal work and thus that's the opinion of the right without opinion. I dont think everybody does equal working lives, equal pay, but at the same time like there is, sector of the population that has not had an equal opportunity to succeed and that those, but that's a reality like that. Those people have not had an opportune. That's the big point ray, I think I'm buying things there. I think I'll check it. So it's like you can't compare my childhood to some shit from the inner city. Or you can compare some kid from University to Africa. Note you there, people are a drop in the mud huts? In Africa, where you don't you know the fuckin, the Ebola, lady, who died but next door and husbands try to she's not dead right in the holes. We get sick mean
I've got away fuckin worse than anybody in America ever for sure, but I'm talking strictly because once you start getting into international problems will arise where it really What was really far more about this summer just told me to steer the day. I forget it was the real one percent, the real one percent. We talk about the one percent of the people that make the most wealth in this world. If you make thirty five thousand dollars a year, you're in the upper one percent for the planet, Thirtyth up for the planet for the planned k, thirty five thousand dollars a year- if you make thirty five thousand dollars, you you're in upper one percent for the planet rap wrap your fuckin head. That's a true Norman! I am not an honest. I am repeating fucking told you,
Actually you right now our goodwill now, but I do think that's true. I think that, like you know, when you start to strictly speaking, domestically cause if circling internationally gets really complicated, as even with global warming. People talk about like changing, you know how we live on the planet, but it's like you. We are that's not just America that need protecting. They have to get the entire world and on that shit I will have you seen like. What's pumping out of the sky, and China puts it another scare, it ain't in a pretty yeah. So even if we turn our should around like in the world is so that we can go and add your pan yeah do. You are so funny said that, because I was on this, this run last night of researching super volcanoes really fucked. Idiot. What was what was the point? Just scared of interruption, I? Why went into a yellowstone and I was reading about Yellowstone and about how often its alone and how many people have died. Then I found out is one actually California, there's one
for nearly does one and like northern California, there's a called their volcano, really hear that. It hasn't blown and you know x, amount of hundred thousand years, but is one in California and in this the Yellowstone, oh you mean old man steam pipe well, there's an even bigger one in Indonesia that they think my have been responsible for the reason why all human beings come from like a group of original humans. They think that the one that has in Indonesia was so fucking big. Seventy five million years ago, whatever it was killed, sir or semi five thousand years ago, that it killed so many fuckin people that there was a very few people left and that we all came from the survivors of this extreme cold front that washed over the entire country or the entire world and put the world to essentially an ice age Yeah and it's not an nothin, anybody can do about that. Doesn't matter how much plastic as in the ocean doesn't matter how much you clean up the streets too much matter how much you stop Jennifer
Brooklyn and can give back for that motherfucker blows, that's a wrap them mother, Fucker blows! There's not much! anybody, can do but try to figure out a way to can food and preserve. You know as much nutrients as he can and bags and get underground, and you probably bread brings us and vitamin d is you're, not gonna get from the south and in your brain petitioning bed. Let's be realistic, bring a high intoning vitamin D. The video of the tourists with all the ashes just coming right towards towards them and there are still finding bodies in this ass. It is, I guess, knee deep, prized Cobb. That's so scared, really scary, nor the scary that they can predict that shit to just sort of blows. Man boom yeah. Well, I can't really yup thirty four thousand dollars globe.
The thirty four thousand dollars a year you're in the top one percent. That's crazy! That's crazy! That's absolutely crazy! That's what's really go and on the world. That's that's! That's which it scare, the fuckin shit out everybody here now it is nice. Real disparity, yeah, it is really started we do take, would take most of what we have. I think for granted. I mean you know it's like it. You ever look. I was when I flew in here. You know like they. They got on the piazza planning. You know the wifi down of the planetary. Like really cares little bit about the out as a yell. There always are one about exactly of. Is that the one about dead? What you fly like a god? No, no! No! everything is awesome and nobody's happy all right. I don't know about bit ly shutting down the plane. That's exile really have another piece of shit. The work that he has like it goes to space yet will no doubt is that this in that same bit, where he says and then what you fly like a greek myth
ok, so yeah from her letters. I don't know he talked about. Why fireplaces out that those who are not you know I was again not even trying to do a bit again. Perfect example: we're not renew bit, but just the idea of like we do take Louis think is in the forefront of bringing all that shit ongoing, he's, that's what he so fuckin awesome, which is like we're always unhappy, and we take everything for granted and there it that I could at the thing that openly, Is that more than anything was why didn't? You are so stand of tor last summer, Afghanistan and hung out with those fucking guys and would like narrowly my huge policy which was had been confirmed years ago, but I have no like. I have no but like right to even fucking bitch about the shit that have you can can think of to complain about no right, zero, zero right and I and I did- and I really have made an effort, concerted effort to like not let that kind of shit,
many more people. What people talk about habitations arising fire like dude, the fucking touch screen computer in your pocket like technic whatever ten years ago. You could even imagine the shit you could do unless you are working like but it's amazing. If he's gonna fuckin signal- and I know I'm pissed- I'm sure what you say. Well, the other thing is downloading share and I can check my email. The reverse part of the argument is, but I'm all suspended, like two hundred bucks a month for itself. You'd, better fucking shit hook right, that's the other part of the bargain. You know how much should it be worth? What's the realistic number of what how much should have found me worth's worth like a million dollars in this fuckin phone bright and how much going to do? for you. That's what I think about what a phone actually but one that will rise. Lathes Joe, that has made the tricky and the air that again, though, you did, and the hypocrisy of all things are. You can't ever escape being unintentionally being a hypocrite held now, in unintentionally. Intentionally is put wilfully ignorant at the top of the list of anybody. That's like super
aggressive, I'm only a vague and I'm only trying to save the Wells Island. I dont want to harm anything, but I have a fucking I've. U right! Dear little bottle of conflict, minerals and you had a shit came out of african boy, Doug that shit out of a hole in the ground with a stick yet problem and the origin of the minerals and the coal Tran inside your phone and then like a suicidal worker, chinese factory put this think together, unlike two hours to sleep in like a thirty, our work day with a place that has nets are unethical so that when they jet when they were, if they jump, they might not die, I had a conversation with a product is actually very fucked up and we just deal with it because, whatever man, when they do not have a phone yeah, except there, was a company for a while that was tried to a fair phony member that Google that fair fancy of that. Whatever happened with that, there is a problematic they're going to do like three g and people like what
we're about forty Elsie Fair found everybody to defend in them, but they are with boys. We gotta be half way. Do you know what ye know, conflict minerals? They were gonna do it. They were gonna it. It was gonna, be ethically gonna cost a little bit more for our fair phone. There I would address this comment, conversation with a friend and he was like well did you know that the people that jump of the building and China. It's actually same percentage commit suicide, those factories as the national average. I go but how many of the national average kill themselves, whether at work self agonies like yeah, but that they work there and they live there. To, like you see, that's the problem write, another worries you can't joke about our well of its national like. It still seems like a guy who made my phone monitor some it still or whether there should be a little. Guilt. It ad hoc devise every fucking call.
Yeah that fucking devices haunted Riah feel terrible. Yes, surely should be free of our guidelines that should make you feel a little sad, but I needed I ordered six haven't got my late. We now my six. The fair phone is now in stock, which suspects brand rediscover its right years as front camera. One point three may bites drawing a guy. You mean gigabytes, egg, Nelega Pixels, rather yeah gigabytes, Mega pics Megapixel! Yes, enjoyed o s out there. We wait to jellybean smells like the truly kicking the new at all. The crystals insiders heard all I get remove demons from your soul, which version of Andrew runs at the least now know what the fuck, yet I mean it looks literally. Is I got a phone from five years ago, but much, but what is pitch like what are they guarantee everyone and everyone who worked on it was really happy frame.
Our soldering pace uses ten who yes to be sure, signalling you're on the subway dont get it Jesus paste, what I repay uttering sundering pace we made with the yucca plant around the room to make aid. I owe degree biodegradable tone: GPS, wifi, grass, FED Blue to crush visit gluten free. Yet if I'm gonna those atm, oh no age, no age email is immense. No, no GM! It's all you awesome to Lhasa Free makes your better proper. You have a hacker totally. Does it doesn't give you can't really every other found? No actually actually cures cancer. Several crowd thinks you got cancer from her phone. I did not know that show crows brain cancer and she tributes it two when she was yeah what she was doing, that all our bond to assess fund. Apparently, when she's doing press for that album,
back back in the whatever whatever it was, it was the old school phones. She did hundreds of calls and she did him or herself without without a Just hold them up to her head her head. Does nobody? Did nobody had a fuckin button, you of those old, familiar d artagnan anything from microphone. I didn't thing that you put on your. We liked it yeah. I was hardly Was this dog star tat our bill both ways? But now? Everybody has some sort of ahead bees in the animals part, usually are usually use like the same ear. Buds than those microphones are good manners. Little apple ones have tried a bunch of different things, but seems like everybody can hear me from those a white apple ones that once the best they seem to be, everybody wants the newest, but it for just beyond a phone. They seem to be the best idea. I also. I also think we have that the blue tooth earpieces who is working as a visit? What is that still a signal? Regretting that the opposite, like you, don't have something radiating?
extraordinarily anybody dying from it, but it what makes you so little stupider out now. That's could be ready, what's happening. Well, that's what people worry about why fi signals. I mean how much time you spend in the real wilderness, but business can sound, totally unscientific and probably ridiculous, but I like it. I have a feeling that there's a little something that your body is interacting with when you're in a room that has wifi when you're in a town that as radio this television signals in the air every week, their cell phone signals. There said balls in the air and they freak out bees. We have a real hard time with the cell phones are going from one of the big problems. Pesticides is another one, that's too bad again. Ah fuck, that's again fucked up to be their signals. Our contract gather contractor signals, elegant fucking eavesdropping on your call and hidden african pastors, and maybe if your phone drugs
back so that every time you drop a call back dies just think about what what's going on the air, the so much stuff in the air would end. If you are a bat or a b like they're having a twenty four hour, Fucking party next door. You little was tat neighborhood. You grew up there. You families from their everybody else's families from here in this neighborhood. Every time you would open the door, you use your chirped chirped chirp. You would see fuckin, butterflies, flying and then next door, this fuckin death mental banned, the any rehearse twenty four hours a day Zack hurons frown using next year either, but yet no and in the other Part of that, too, is when you go, into like at less populated area that doesn't have all these signals ever go to lock your car with your little life key far thing, and you could do it from like since you are about to axe away when you're not, but when you're in, like a city, gotta gothic me or because the signal cabinet like it's always sounds like there's. A lot of shit flying around
all the time, but I just don't think that signal what is happening there and pressing the button, and this little thing flies over and open start your fuckin car within you know they have em for cell phones to right where you could start your car from your phone from miles away. Cargan did that we didn't. I can only increase that. This is yet another worth thinking have grown old school. I'm going to call you need to use a fuckin kid like a car with a key. I need a car with a key. The only problem with a key car is, if you're in a parking garage and there's a murderer, come after. You always drop him immediately. Always you! you cannot get him in a hole through. My car doesn't have a key hole like a key orient all no hope. There's no whole anywhere on my card, but can you believe you keys like. I cannot think my porter as a keyhole Asher. I don't think it does, because your car, no your car, knows when your keys are near it it. Doesn't there might be a dummy, doesn't have a key microscope thing great. My car has but sensors. So if someone else's, but it won't start, I think I want to go.
I was going to try to figure out. If I could drive around nineteen, sixty nine Mustang not lose muddle out here you can, as only problem of those guards of I'm sure you have a job and those old mustangs is there's not glad of not have powers turkey. So now there are those old mustangs had car steering I like cynically Sri steering is alone now, maybe let it go there. I don't want anyone. Highschool had one of those men and like it's their fund, a driver for an everyday car like you want to go poor kids like right turn in a boat. Yes, we'll work. It out, I think gum, but I think the real issue with those cards they handle a dog shit. I give to figure out someone who can they do what they call a pro prototyping version of those there's so they take an old car and then they put like a more modern suspension, so you actually drive it, but still never gonna be like in it. The new cars, Give you hit your breaks, there's antelope breaks brakes like people forget about like. Walking you're breaks up come out like that nuke the newest cars now have sensors, somebody cuts very, would automatically breaks yeah a lot of those very sorry, especially if you like the text and drive her fuckin. Look any
rented a car any damn. It swerves you back. If you go over the line, I give you over the last five legged, because I just pull, takes him, get news to the right. Will you shut off her? If you want we're wreak, sow and just sex slaves on the brake you're, going like ninety on the freeway slams in the break, our jerks over your new hid it at her. Yet what about that? Michael Hastings, either gotta committed suicide, who was going after all these generals and expose us crazy shit and was that you know said to all his family that it was worth they're, going to take him out, and then he winds up going down was at sunset, some, whereas it island some major street. No. I was gonna. Aren't twenty miles an hour slammed in your fuckin tree car, explodes in those flying and flew away from the car luxurious eat. It's crazy story. The conspiracy dearest love this story like no other, because if anybody was killed, it was this motherfucker. He was going after generals, but that is those of the times were conspiracies, make more sense.
Make yeah, you know cause those are like closed. Those are closed networks like this. I my whole problem with conspiracies is like people are good at keeping secrets man so when there when their that big, I have a heart attack of you knows nothing, governments that organise blanket decent general state of utter. You know like that, makes sense those industrialists dude that run everything they're pretty good, to keep secrets in when you find out about like this, this new, the sacks tapes, it just came as a lemon sacks of the Games- Goldman Sachs Goldman Sachs tapes are just came out of you paid any attention to this, as the banker yeah I don't know what the fuck and revelations were, but apparently Pieper, freaking out about these new hours of tapes. It just came out there just show how they ve paid off the regulatory commissions like how the whole thing is going the bankers and establish the standards and run system, but there's a legal loophole were politicians meet this happens with Nancy Pelosi in every one kind of stout target
but it's like they meet with these stock. Guys get all this insider information and then are still allowed to invest in the companies and fucking make money on it. As, I believe, and I don't have an end, a habit. It's it's not legal, but it's only legal cause. It's the people who the laws I don't know. I don't know that that those are the issues that really hurt my brain and especially since we get distracted by something else and then without talking about it and then somehow it is okay. This is the and Bloomberg. This is the the The article sang the reporter Jake Bernstein is obtained forty six hours of tape, recordings made secretly by a federal reserve employ of conversations within the FED and between the FED and Goldman Sachs. They're calling it. The re rice video for the financial sector like. Is this a scare shit? They don't need to call it that half or do they have to that's stupid name for it.
Next Linsey low, it's like what a pity Anthony Weena pictures of real estate. He told the press. One of that is when someone it talks about a word, the defensive and I'll say it's our nigger area. Like trade, Thirdly, the isn't that what for training saying that's our nigger, that's a thing! That too, is the there's gotta, be like an update on what's offensive. Well, you know what that is what happens sometimes, and then you don't know it and then you say you're, the guy. You can't say that, like I don't know retards out, you know that rats laws can Africa here. A couple years ago, I asked I stop using retort. I stopped what about bitch change its way up, but yet bitches in so was pussy pussycats, where people are like figures, call somebody we using unfeminine expression, but when a girl calls a man, a pussy like
no, but I also think that I think would be if you and other words the idea of like a better possibilities. Ike dude, you don't be such a pussy, but if ya get it's like art, so that means you are making by putting a female gent. You know me, I gotta gender thing. It makes that women are weaker, but then the same time. How weird? Would it sound if you may, that the other way so like pussy was mean you mean you're like a bad ass, like noon dude, you don't have a pussy big enough to jump off that fuckin. Let it doesn't work that way either. You know like by airlines body deck dude. How bids you pussy bro, you can do it. The waters called dump we'll tell a girl, she's got balls, yeah, yeah, yeah I don't know, I guess I see it. One means brave and women's weak, but at the same time micromanaging also do some of its like. I feel it with some of that stuff. If you like? I don't know man, I'm cooked, like that's fine of the next generation that give every your grandparents are certain fucking things are like, like I'm
I'm not going to say Asian, like I'm too old in own, equipping its oriental oriented, don't know that get used to block we had to change from China meant oriental around our counter. Another time I was with my friend Fuckin dyer once and this guy said something like my friend like your kind of people and I and so I saw my friend like sitting there gone. I go what kind of people I asked the question for me. I guess you know college, You didn't think there's any they rise a color grows like you know. We re probably eighteen and one of his excellent yeah. That was his. Why it seems we believe we're there. It was real weird, but he was not being different spirit, of course, now who's like that, you know what I was the appropriate yeah, but that's the thing that does happen like that. It is hard for people to keep up with changes in language. History is used to now I grew up here and paying retard yes, and the F word we can solve the problem with retarded is retard. Did is actually, if you think about the word, its meetings like
slow growth. If its tell someone that's a retarded way of looking at something, there's like their slow growth and the way you look at you, you're gonna need you catch a fuck up, yet it's a valid way of saying it. Yes, call someone a retail right is that implies that they have you, no doubt and your down censure moral yeah, some kind of aid its natural handicap, you that used to be mongoloid like they're the term that these two use Mongoloid Idiot iter these two use on your birth certificate, airborne down syndrome, yeah yeah. I know I know that if there is books, if you re like anthropological push for the eighty They refer to different kinds of people like you, it's it's frightening. It ass, Thaddeus Russell was on the park. Gas arise, we he's also. I do I heard that he's throwing a guy, but do you hear the what he's talking about? What the Irish with the Irish yes consider, chimpanzee, they were less, there are less than blacks and that they, their race was that's the other thing that always so fascinated me. You guys we're talking about that, but that this idea now that
you get and he was hardware like they became cops in this land at assimilated into white culture, but there's a whole white that anyone who tries to back to Ellis Island or, as is becoming too tallying jus like that's, not really like attend but people get like? I know I have a lot of like a long. Island family, like we are going to forget, Mexicans culminated like that kind of riots ran like it's like that. She's there just the attack millions of now, like the Italians we're just the Mexicans Like that early nineteen hundred, like nobody like them, you piece of shit. They were like laborers all that shit, so it's like it we're to think that you're, why privilege like it's like you know, you hear Hannity in these guys go the way America's beat like de jure fuckin irish two generations, away from just being a piece of shit like don't treat those people like a piece of shit, we're not only that You came directly from immigration
percent, rather than sound year's annual like succeeding in this country, and then the way your great grandparents dream they would not even dreamed and their while this way right there, while gateways yet and an end. So it's always astonishing to May once again, we are anti immigration was their anti immigration, and you know- and I am at the whole idea- that of like and look again illegal immigration is a different argument, but there is it. There is a attendance like be waiting online at the night club and then you get in and you look a little gonna, let those assholes and you look back at the line you're like do you just got in the fucking caught up in a critical like what I think if people could fly around, it would be even more ridiculous to not have immigration because people can fly around if we flying cars and go across a border left right. There would be no one, stop you, because you can just go anywhere. You want right, Leslie Fate, I waited grid up the sky. They could block you and give you a traffic stop in the sky above Mexico, but they couldn't do that.
How the fuck do you ever get to tell me where they can go or not go the gonna go with a work is worsening jobs, the jobs are in America, they would go to America and then America would overrun and people start slowly, trickling back in a mixed, grown reestablishing communities and it would even out eventually if they don't do that, never gonna even out it's gonna be Will it makes goes need to get your shit together on their own parliaments. Whether shit, it's fucked up because are connected to the great barbarians of history like they are the border, their next door to the latest war machine the planet earth in the human race has ever known, and so they are feeding it. Cocaine right, but at the same time, but if you look at like Canada right, we don't like the same issue in the north, now we ve got. There is something to be said about like what the life is like for Mexicans in Mexico, you're, sorry about thirty five. Thousand hours being the one percent like that life in that country, and a lot of ways is like the zone, a good life. What
in that similar in in the way you can and analyze it, though to like, say, Compton men. Look at that conference is a part of delay and so is Beverly Hills and they are all connected to each other. Yet are all right, but one of them is where the fuck over there and that's considered Compton in this is terrible, impoverished community and the right over. Here we have Beverly Hills and you can get lucky and be born in Beverly Hills to family lives in a gated community and take it to a private school and everything's fuckin, smooth silent or you This should end of the stick and of single mom and companies on welfare gives birth. You in a crime. Britain, household and terrible neighbourhood fill the gang violence, both of those being the idea of a border protecting. From anything that's happening in Canada or anything that's happening in Mexico is out It seems consulate yep, nice on point time. It seems crazy that a person has a chance or doesn't have a chance based on Watch Patchett. Dirt. They just got shit out, no doubt, and then that mean that's that's a whole that mean that that's
mine is. Oh, that's, it is living in modern society. I write like we have to have some rules and my thought is like we do have poor people, that's what we're talking about people needing help, and it's like that It gets complicated Marietta's! It's like you want to help people, but then he's like art wall where we want to have people, but we don't want to have a system where people are like fuck. It only too well I'm getting that. We focus that's a whole other problems, a huge advantage. Also like will. I worked really hard and I'm given a lot of my money back to the government, and I I dont really We have a say in how they manage that money. They do a very good job of it, which I think anyone would say, but that at the same time somebody so now you can have that whole argument about people who live here and are born here, what rights they have by being born here. Even all all it is like. I was literally bore here, but we have not got to make our rules. Think about how radical proposal would be if a presidential candidate or someone got on television and had a detailed out
lined idea of how they want to improve inner cities, and one of em state starts with re educating the adults community. I mean people realise what the fuck, but if they don't do that anything else, you do If you don't, if you add money and to give people money for nothing, you can call it whatever reparations, you could call it welfare. You know, depending on what race are talking about, just giving impoverished people, money, white people included people poor bears you give em opportunity, given money, give education, if you don't do something, about the mindset of the adults nothing's gonna change here because they're still gonna to their kids. They still gonna have terrible ideas. The world, it's a big part of these communities, not just financial strife. It's also that you're stuck with a bunch of fuckin dummies yeah. But at the same time it's a culture that has been an abuse culture in this country. For all
time. It certainly not yet again, as a white folks are too poor to you have here in a trailer park and West Virginia, that's just as bad as you will see the wild and wonderful whiter, West, Virginia FUCK and Wild ass doc. Yes, he now I've seen clips about an AIDS. My flock in awesome voting list for some, but these people I mean you- might as well be a black in the south it is well be. You know in a poor, neighborhood in Compton or Watts, you're fucked, you got there into this adventure criminals. That's the problem is not that the problem, but that's the complication with a system that like where people go out. Look this country, you don't put up by boats drafting work, your ass off, but it's like hold on a minute, like my moods draft, for pretty fuckin high yeah we're out of the gate. They were barely. They were ready. I mean when I was born. You know it now, but I wouldn't we're rich, but I was born. Like you know, I came from Italian. Do like working class people, hardworking people, but I was able to go to college. I was able to like do an internship for get Dave. Let him in
some are like you can't you don't get opportunities. I doubt if you need to fuck and have a job shit like that expression born on third and thinking you hit a triple here. Oh no, no, and I'm saying I think that the p I don't have guilt about accepting the people that worked before me. Work for and I knew grandfathers very well, like those guys we're like steel and coal offer trucks to keep warm kind of these rights are and they work there. S so let like everyone could do better. Now on that next generation, whose doing you have been given a lot because of their hard work, appreciate all levels, but definitely here for me too, like these calm down, neither growing reindeer yeah. But what, if you could do? Ok, you, you spent all these years. Work of the daily shown does a lot of political thinking involved in that kind of a job. If you could fix it, What would you do if someone said our present Roy right? You have all this money to help. You
all that we're alone about in overseeing Adieus. I want a lobster sandwich. Just start ordering you ain't, you can get anything you want any time right. I don't think you can nothin sexual or will not single, but ones is now shut. I mean a guy's run in the free world that surrounds What a robot fact all I wanted to share. I don't think the president should be allowed to have the robot fact all he should love. Mrs Aubert, If a woman I wouldn't do, I would be so happy if she was mine man I don't know me I mean I wish I wish I dont phasing out part of the problem of hunger problems at everybody. Has this complaint that we need to make the more rich, nor helping to make the poor rich Rich done. Sat now, you're saying I'm to say: every has this complaint, this disparity in wealth? Everybody has its complaint that the you know the people that are in the minorities that are that are built. Pour neighborhoods crime written. This didn't have a chance and you're right, but with a fuckin be dont want you know, I don't think there is such a thing is
society were nobody's poor, except like like Norway or like those weird look- nordic countries where people some of them. Just hold reality. There hasn't been a society. Does it means not possible, but is this, but I do think George colonies, everything where he would talk about poverty. We go like this. Are the world works? You know it's there's, there's rich people who do not have the work, make all the money. Then there's the middle class. Who do all work, make a little bit of money and then there's the poor you're the shit out of the middle class, so they keep shown up to their jobs, no I mean, and there is like this system leads to function in some capacities. Are those poor people, and I do think that, like I died, I do believe that, like in a lot of cases, the richer people in this country, some were born privilege, but somebody along the way was hurt. Shrewd somebody with smart and a lot of time that which has grown people. I mean, if you look at, although the tight deck the tight of like the industry
they did all those guys like they fucked over a lot of people to get really rich, and also like that. So I don't know a lot of times. People got here. First, have all the money like the real wealth in this country, like the wasps wealth, it's like that limit rock. That's like folders, like those guys came over on the on the boat on the Mayflower and we're like I'll, be the coffee guy. You know like it. That's it don't want a name soldiers as worked again. You know like they were just cause in short, that ultimate, you know spooning your mouth, that's the ultimate privilege and lock is being a part of some oligarch family degeneracy that Jamie Johnson made that both called born rich a couple years ago. From now, it's too he's a Johnson and Johnson AIR Good yeah. It's good
nah it's called born reached, is a documentary and it's like Etsy shouted on video minutes, but it's very good and it's all about the weird struggle that these kids have, who are not rich like get a job rich like you, don't ever have to do anything ever again and they too, I think he got suit actually by either the Vanderbilt kit not Vanderbilt. Accordingly, one of the Carnegie KIDS, who he was friends with grown up, pursues friends Vanderbilt putting an end. This kid's tell a story about how he was with his grandfather one day, walking in front of grand central station, and he goes. This is yours.
Is that what is, and is this station grand central you won't? That's it! That's Carnegie faint will feel like grants that right and in front of Carnegie Hall Knock will not just like all but in front of grand central station. There's a owner Vanderbilt this who owns current of grand central station in front of it. There's a big statue, still there's big bronze statue of Cornelius Vanderbilt, who is who is like his great grandfather and it like he gave New York Grand central state. That's what I'm talking about like rich, like like Rockefeller gave New York thought the palisade cliffs. It was like you can have these, but you can't build on and I like the look of the cliffs like that, can show people that, like most of the Europe, which is a gifted by rich but my name on it yet pre crazy.
So these kids are the heirs of those kids with those guys and their pretty fucked up. You know and like an Jamie Johnson's dad, you imagine, is like running Johnson in jobs and you think he's probably going there every day with a certain time. We like we need more acute tips too hard. You know like now he's sitting in this fuckin garage painting, he's gotta has never worked a danish life. Why yet its pre? It's like his yes be hard to feel confident will that's. The whole point of the movie is like they have no direction in life. They have no Since Europe is now a lot, most people go fuck that outvoted duration, life or the billion, but I don't know like there is something about working feeling like you have a sense of purpose. There's something about developing your personality mean yet you have to developing personnel through care. Your character gets develop through adversity in overcoming adversity, lessons learned if there's no lessons learned is no wisdom. If you haven't experiencing difficult, are pulled anything off, you're not gonna. Have confidence can have the confidence you can do tat. You might have some
Cain fuelled ridiculous. Confidentially thing can work, but it's not it's not. You know it's not reality right, that's a friend who has a friend. I don't know the guy very well conversations with him, but he was a part of insanely large family that as billions of dollars they own like half over, like that they have a stretch of buildings in Malibu on the beach where they buying up the neighbors buildings. Could they didn't want anyone next to them? So they would. Like, the neighbor was selling their house for twenty four million dollars, just snatched it up just so they could have the name house, to its own. The house's around the day of billions and billions of dollars, so they do not trust fund burn through it, had a backup trust fund burn through that. How do you I don't even like in his late forties,
just as disaster regenerate disaster, just a disaster, and then these in everyone in other would fill you know. When are you going to get your shit together? Sir you're never gonna happen it's fucking eyes and he was having a conversation with my friend, and he said, if whatever you do, she has kids, so whatever you do. Do not let your kids have money, don't give them any money, makes him like Hughes, acutely aware of his own failings because he was born In the end, our empire, he had just had no concept of what it means is not a man like any around him. He just got no confidence, yes got no nothing! Yet you didn't do any. Oh grit, there's no grit, but it has never been a piece of shit to anybody and it's not say that someone is born in that same scenario couldn't have found. You know it painting or Zack or become like successful it? then they do on their own or decided you permanently touch that money don't eat that money to charity. I wanted. I recognise the pitfalls of this scenario, so I want to be something did
other than there with his map? Yes or no leading me to go into the certain rather than you could also yet you could also semi. We were they talk about how hard is report in our time, not how horses, the rights of knowledge. More with a delighted. I would also say that, like if you really fuckin wanted a man up like then fucking go live for a year with fifty fifty thousand dollars in a bank account and go live somewhere in the country and trot is like I can testify that does not have a real, though can who know they can always go back to this rig. Wasn't this year's up, I'm Kill and Vienna shorter, though I'm sure there are. There are rich people who have you no found a way to fuck and six give back or do something and lay all the clothes like feel bad about you not effect They can just do it. I'm gonna Fuckin virgin guy, richer, Branson, yet famous for the fair, but he if he made all the money itself,
We re all your money yourself, it's a little different, really lying ever richer granted, but Richard Burton Street or side. Those really fine. Coming and writers, I just got a job it s now, but he was too. He did a thing on that. I worked out. You'll burn in this summer. We're talking about Richard Branson is his favorite rich guy, because he does all the things you said you would do if you are richer. I run our kid like I'm on a hot air balloon around the world, both Lepage. He is like he is our business, you should get it like wretched forgets. Would you rather Falcons patient like another grand I wouldn't I was. I would write it like ten years in it. Once I know like it, blew up a couple times and add it to the first on the blows up. That's be a time scale for tickets, have our heritage, it takes a hit, the blows up, it takes a hit, but yet for doesn't blow up. I would do it. I just don't want to be, unlike the first mission although the first mission may be the best will be only. We only want what what scares me more than that of the people who are willing to sign up to go to Mars. This more than a hundred thousand people are willing
sign up for the one way tripped Maria, but but but Imagine if I would say on that list, though, if you started weeding out through those people who probably like ten people you'd want to leave out of a hundred dollars you nobody drawn people, although it Mars, I think you have to like really look over the applicants, make sure that's something immediate if the guy's a roofer want to go to Mars, got highbrows goggly roofs we have also got any roofs or any room real good at work and our add that's like one of gas and other very funny thing. This guy's, a worker, told me about that movie or again to bring it up again. But the premise of that movie, it's easier to train oil drilling to be astronauts than it is to train astronauts to drill. That's right, you know we can do is why would just treats treaties astronauts with up to teach about it? Uses drill now don't move
we have a special place in my heart to because that's where, like Aerosmith start doing, ballads fucking self, like that, you guys were skull, guys we're on back in the saddle again like what happened. What is this? I understand the bumble. Bono wouldn't help it. What's going on with this wisest song, making me develop after Jane. That we're those there's a few of those. You go. How did you guys were because the share that happens- possibly I grew up in Boston, so Aerosmith was was a member of this house and they had which go Bobby. They had a ban that they use to pretend basics. Gonna like I was. Makin was your place. Yeah used show every now, and then you hear fuck him Aerosmith came by less than they would they beyond list as like, like lizard feet, to alight
Would it make up some bad name in a neat? Show up and do you know why and show up and do like a quick fuckin? That's I never. I never had the experience of seeing, but friends would show Perry, Gloria really forth. My send text messages to juggle Harry, that's In the light of the crazy, the coolest text message, Joe Perry, that's fucking our voice when not as close out, but I once was used to predict that daily shows a global addition. So I used to produce this go to Sony. Music was our edit based, so tons of musicians would be recording arms around me like Jimmy? page, like robber plant was saying there when they, like all sorts of crazy shit out here whenever so one day, and they are doing this- had it for the show, and I like it and it's dark at a moment ago to take a piss in the justice system. Bathroom hillock scattered about, but I can Stephen tyler- cannot not taken- appears glean lizard parent like super tight, like flowing shirt and ill, and I guess that they was warm up his voice, but it was so at the time.
It's a bathroom, so he's is leaning than the urine lay scattered about gave it, and I would like to see cool it out. I paid up national man, that's all that was like my big Aerosmith experience, as I urged even Tyler warming up his pipes in Europe really cool wow, that's for awesome. It's weird when you meet a guy yourself, Paul Mccartney, one night at the improv didn't get a chance to meet him, but deceive them did he see do stand, oh yeah, he was an audience with I'm. What's nerve racking our audience, one guy once didn't show up to the daily shower was late. Balsam comic! Great warmer guy, but I was late side every now and then I would do warm up like if it was an emergency situation. I've got to warm up for the crown, and I did it one night when Springsteen was there in the crowd. Oh my car and she was sitting off to my right with his son avenues. A great did, I know a couple of his butt
but Isn T just put on a hat and the crowd like love shall supercool. Although, like legends of Springsteen Shit, you here like the so I do warm up for the crowd and then afterwards I saw him. You know he was talking to John after the shown, wait intelligent had something like I like made something not basic. I have to tell John this thing's Alec wanted a fuckin meets bracelet right and he's all right music. Tat was also promote, really rights, as I was Joe ground. People like Y know Springsteen in our mutual fans of each other. He saw me at the lady in the fur coat. Let think he knows what I'm capable of you now I live in. That was to me, because I really like if I died the next day, I told my. They go just so you know if I happen to die soon. I'm cool you know they like it was pretty cool man declare him laughing over my mind. He sets it like how I thought you were gonna come after us, we're always like your Flemish recently. Trying to Virginia or their mistress. But let thanks, Mr Mr as very cold. I like that itself
when you meet somebody who you like on that level, where you shit like listening to music and it's pretty exciting the biggest one for me ever was Jean Simmonds came to see when my shows transcends borders. Families is something that I always shards that was credible, Your shouted come up became together. I do it I was nervous, is far. I had a dress it from the court. It was a huge kiss fan. When I was a carrying it was ever think real, even like other bans dislike kiss revenue, you didn't like other music. I was such a ridiculous kits Van that's funny that without state scared, the shit out of me but Paul Macartney for some reason may be even more nervous. I find that like working in entertainment, musicians and athletes are the two groups that I get real neurons rattling athletes? Have you I'm sure? Of course you have you workin the you have seen, but it's like meeting a professional athletes like in you see that
physicality, oh yeah, like especially when their like, currently playing the game really like like. Oh so cool dude like you get it beat you played on Sunday. He felt well yeah. I get unlike a little kid, even though my older at this point than professional athletes, which is like one of the hardest things about. Why sport for me now is one like you are like a rate. I got when the Rangers play a flexible, get on the ice of illegally this thirty five year old? Who can still ties skates? You know like Jesus Christ, and you can leave old man need buckles, kinda, my gun, thirty, seven man, what the fuck! I will do, my like you know, I'm retired now as an athlete. That's why it's weird when you see Bernard Hopkins Bernard Hobby, this forty, nine years old, lazily champion the world Jesus Christ, how fuck and beating young guys, like really good guys. That's crazy! Guys! Incredible! You know what I mean by that is just like that you're just like in office. It there's something about what they do is so beyond my comprehension. Yet we can imagine you'll be on the core
with Michael Jordan, eddies Fuckin slam document strategy. I see him leaping from the three point lined flying through the air. You Billy what it was an honour to get dont down by you, Mr Georgia, to be the amount I mean play. I know you didn't energy standing there. Why does it it's crazy? liquid realise the different level of athleticism music there super humans have, they gave you a pill and all of a sudden, You could do it Michael Jordan, with that you'd be like you got a superhuman How do you like your spider man? It's a tough and that's the thing to like what people are about comedy like what he wanted to communism was kind of funny grown up I think, if I make a live issue in its ethical, but if I was gonna baseball fuck do that sure as hell wish. I will let you do that funny going alone. I would even be the funny guy. Maybe I will just be good at baseball, in other words like that would be cool like. I would definitely want to do something like that if I was given any physical, be ok what's that for digitally any sports gray, I'm play like soccer and supply was never. I wish I d never care. I was weird I was
sorry I was definitely like the wiser. I got it in trouble, a lot like in high school and a soccer team. Like my contribution Albert, he shut the fuck up. I would like a little bit of play time of winning. There's something you don't owe me, but I was good. I don't know I like. Never sports is warrant somethin. I love to do you know I wasn't like into them I like watching my yes, but I was never let you can always know you want to be a comic We knew I wanted to like what year. If you like, I don't know it was just the kind of thing we're like I don't know. I was a member being academy and funny and liked to Spain in school and an end. I John Oliver and I used to talk about this. All the time is an area where a month apart in age- and he grew up and in England having these weird parallel life experiences across the pond from each other, we're like he would. We would talk about being in school and a teacher saying something that was a perfect set up for a joke, and you knew a few yelled out the party line. It would cry
but you also need you would get in trouble. Yes, and it was like no doubt in your my luck. I'm go at the punchline fall here. Fucking no decision to be made yet go the principle, no matter that fact can remember like a great one from school You have one chiefly like said something a teacher in you like, oh I'm, trying to think I mean I used to do stupid. Shit like in spanish class, like a teacher, would call on me too for the definition of a word, and I now and I would just like a car I had once, but I got mine. She called my mom about this, my Spanish, each of us our car. She was, I can go around the room and point in Say word: we use it ascends viewpoint to me. She said sought roaring, saw car and also after school. I have sought carpet It is, and I was like a feud laugh in prison because that kind of whatever you need and then like a call on to my mom, like he's disruptive and my mombi, but you have to do was funny, but its disruptive. What could be
construed as a racist one for my school. I had this black math teacher, who is really aggressive. Sheep mean to inherit defense. We were terrible students. Whose population powers it back, but she- she was like aggressive with the way we communicate, wasn't fun and this example soap for whatever reason you know, she decided to issue goes she's doing some thing on a board explaining some proof and then I was talking and she goes Mr Rogan, would you like to come apparent? Do both these problems for the class, and I said, would you like me to do both for those problems, shit and she kick me out for that. Well they can, but I go well well well. That is exactly how you said right, but you I said what did I do around here? Let's excellence, explain what what
you do in wrong. You're mad teach, it doesn't speak English right there, they kick me out and everyone was Howland they were. Finally, there was the only laugh I got in all of high school really isn't funny at all, but I was, I was easily annoyed. How'd you end up, don't wanna do comedy because it sets a kiss self loathing. A different showered athlete. You argue that athletics, like what more my fear, came from a different place mean everybody has, like certain fear. You now that legally in accommodating. There's always a bunch of factors like this one: does they being ignored as a child? That's always a key factor, and then the fear and for some com It's like the insecurity. Leaves you till. I get propels you to get past the fear of going on and do in public speaking is the idea behind it, but my fear was like actual physical violence right. I was involved in fighting for the time of the fifth in the twenty once I was scared all the time I was always terrified, like before I retired, from competing.
My life was a series of getting wrapped up for competitions getting through them relaxing flag, a few days or a couple hours, then being terrified of the next ones. Crazy. So, like all that fear, led me to Have I got gallows humor like I was the guy that we would be on a bus going turn. Men be cracking. Everybody right, but I was just cause, was terrified right that that's like that's how I got into it, but What's funny in high school, I went Just how to say this, because this chick was a con. You know this is the best part about. As always, we usually ordered called on saying that she goes go ahead, laugh because Mr Rogan is going nowhere in life, that's funny! So what you can't say that your teaching, a clatter can't say you're going nowhere, unlike the shady role model, you're a shitty person to be instructing the class. If you speak badly- and I mark your speaking badly and you kid the class. That's just saying that I got you so you know I've found like I'm member getting in trouble for stuff, like that, like I had one where we size were hat to school every day that goes by
they went out and baseball yeah like a baseball, Caligula DORA which threaten us an address God, no Mozart. I wish I had the balls to warn of the door. I tell you now that we're dogs baby, but never like get started game. Hats like that there was a big day and, like you know, like curl, the shit I still area Carl around someone now area. You got it now. Everybody worrisome flatly downloading deflect, can't you flat seem silly and but so one day and a friend of mine is girl. This black girl school had a hare weave. You know like she had hair. We then she was playing with it like like. I was a boy I was talking whatever night and I pulled one out. Those is like fuck around with their own ever had us or shook she was laughing. I put it under my hat and put my hat on so I had lost. Pious like it right. I got hasidic jus right and then I just walked around school. You know people thought it was fun. I was the idiot wearing pay, is out of my hat that would like this girl's hair. We She thought I was finding me. I thought it was funny, but then the fuckin librarian at my school saw me and fuckin annihilated me was daggers like because he thought I was being like.
He says culturally out of Anti semitic and she went on a less another economic jus, unlike the girl she gave it to me, was like there's nobody that I'm just trying to be funny. But, like those kind of things I got, I would get in trouble for see. That's ridiculous. You should in trouble for that as an asshole teacher yeah, but you have a virus, but she wants a snuff all the fuckin humor the work, and it's one of those things really I wish is for just gets and laughed between class, and I was like now. I was like a big that was again like I think we talking about earlier about the over sensitive you the world and that its were huge issue in universities. Now it's a gigantic issued in realistic over sensitivity does not base and intent is based on a demon. Icing words are ideas that this also which weird about it. I think about this all the time it's like the left wants. Everyone to be the same. Like that's the goal right like no. It doesn't matter that, black or there is this like it's like we're all we're. Arched people were out there, but it's like that's what, when you started, come marginalize things that way. That's what starting to happen like with corporations, are doing the same thing when you go to a town does not rest.
Answers. Applebee's and there's, like you know, it's like we're ground we're making Everything the same end like there is a weird part of that. We're like what one thing that's nice about different cultures and hang out there for people is like that's why I love in a stand up like if I hang out would like latino com like them like their ribbon on me for buying like a white jewish guy, my grip on amphibian? Let it like, I don't know the but has never demonstration. It's just like not races to have fuckin hair. If you, if you decide, How can you get? You can ever hear way, but you can't over here we will let you decided where you hear law and she said it was because I may pays out of it like I do not like
making pointed Jews and Us- and I am a jewish- is that you're not that kind of do of the fire just telling you what kind of gentle with honor you know! Look when you're seventeen years ago, that's like if I saw where an elegant tank top with like spaghetti stains on it. Do not that kind of attire? Now I am, you could pull off spaghetti stayin tank that FUCK man, you can't wear hair waves and we look to you. This is twenty years ago, so it doesn't look I'll. Tell you right now. If it was now would be like on Fox NEWS in a refugee problem. Really let aside national, but do you school like one of em fuck man, people used to get up
I'm older than you, though, and when I went to school it was less of an issue, but did you ever like? You grew up at a time we're like a coach, we're like slap on the ass if he did a good job like Diana she do that can do any of that can have pocketed kids divine is the shame I used to blow so many teacher there's a lot of things you don't I mean like like. There is a weird you ever thought about it. It was never like. I do think, though, that take evidence of evolution yeah. I do in some ways in some ways I think that we're getting we get hung up. I think people get hung up on the as much as I think is evidence of evolution. I think there's a lot of people. Are you too said? Yes, one on the show who believes Adam and Eve the real story? That's that's a problem, you know and that's a big problem with when we determine how do you see These issues, a nice guy, your ears, but I'm not even a dumb guy, which is really weird. But when you talk about solving issues, I think you can. We in this country particular we run into man. How do we fix this, and then you get the left
we're, gonna get more money and like slow down and let us not get carried away, gave him all the money like that she's a figure out what we know that Siberia tell me how it sets a very popular age, Poland to food into tat. You have it, then the other side over the real extreme others, either really religious side is like not just Neil and whispered in your hands of solve its illegal wait. That's not an idea, that's just to make believe think. Did you hear about the plane situation where they were going to allow allow going Israel? Nor can they once it next to women yeah these three year, Super Orthodox Jus pulls the store, bronze, fuckin, crazy, crazy. They they made them. They got on the planned and they stood in the flight. They wouldn't sit down. They got on the plan and they told them that they had to because the religious beliefs they had to be together that people did want to switch seats. Resolution on an unhappy Next will woman has also been talk about like the reality of religion, Judaism, Christianity- What is there are I mean, like thereof,
really abusive women and yeah. That's that's pretty crazy. While is in in and Judaism Judaism are their ancient. They had not only does the ancient, but there's something. I don't know enough about this, as I get some them a bit tired, but wanted to write a bet that I gotta work on. Fine all that, but there's a lot of stuff about them that are similar like that. Only pork woodsman old Kosher, one called allow that look like Both speakers ancient guttural, desert language, weird alphabet, lotta beards cover up your women, I just iconic- is there shared that you guys are all you know. Maybe the Koran ethic there my books if five books have not let there's a lot and it's like, is there a chance? It may like one guy heard it wrong, may always be like. You will tell the same story here and like there's like you know, maybe don't you hate each other as much you think you delay given crazy things? They look alike. What was Dr Satan
Georgia's area, there is a there, but there is a component to that where you start to just go like look. We gotta give everybody the proper respect, proper sect, proper respect, but it's a very difficult time accepting the fact that I fucking spend money to fly Israel on a plane and there's a fuck. Dude. Standing ex me praying the entire flight like not eleven hour, not okay. With that this is not your fuckin house do. This is a public space like fuck off What do you mean like that? That does not ok, then allow will act of the flights they pay for the flights they bought their tickets. Advance? They knew they were going to be sitting next to only meant, but it's like there's a got. There's another photo that a link on that article about three that I saw the other day. There's a guy wrapped in plastic. Jewish got wrapped in a big thing: a plastic like a dry cleaning bag because he can't there it is because its handling it will. I know, because he can't fly over a cemetery cause he's a co hain, which is the ancient jewish tribe of
like elders and leaders, that's like the name calling people were named car. That's like Jews, that's cocaine! That's like you're from the ancient jewish king so smash your double chosen, so she could fly over a fucking cemetery, soaking wrapped himself in plastic. Could some fuckin rabbi was ignored? just rap yourself, a plastic! Really, that's! Ok, that's the loophole, rob what about the loophole is like hold your breath. But I have a fuckin law about flying over similar. If you know you can't go nearer, cemeteries are theoretically, I guess. If thirty thousand feet is never foreign listen, look and you think you're so close to God in the clouds the ceremony hey due to school. But how is a plastic bag and protect but your clothes won't know. Like a passive, So my written report about it was the rabbi like that. That's my favorite thing about religion. I talk about my stance in times like
Judy ISM, like some of the ideas that were good ideas, like Judaism, went through traffic? Unlike what? What is this religion like? What are we really trying to do what they like? What? What should be our thing among us? I care about. We cut baby, penis tips off and elect. That's a fork in Greece, I think that's a home run idea in this bucket religion. It's it's bad luck! It's it's same thing with that! Just right, so for plastic, whose making that shit up, although it is only one guy, wrapped himself plastic, let everybody on that plane, other dick cut, percent of other death on the Jews man. That's on everybody! Now I mean it's it's preposterous. They try to sell that as some sort of a medically necessary procedure actually takes away all the sensitivity of your penis. What Ryan and wants that yeah prefers that sensitive now you want the force can buy it now. I would take some more. Five by fighting. Oh no, you should know what you're saying it's your two said as I would just as your problem. You should wear really rough underwear like that. It gets hemp, underwear that Berlin.
Land tidy sacks tidy burlap gets untidy. Biologists make em out of a potato bag is really southerners really find your fuckin carpenters hair make a banana hammock like some fuckin, but our laps acts area right up, I mean, if you, if you look at condoms alive, the condoms. Have you no lotion on it too, to help with the sensitivities of last long her arms about what they are trying to do, though I mean that don't they try to make it feel better, that's exactly the opposite of what they do. Is they claim extra sensitivity condom? It is the number one selling point his other more sensitive. That's why they have lamps kid ones like Spain is not brine. I've never seen a condom that is designed in number
the gap is our real. They got dick doubling, that's not the norm. The norm is the opposite. They have different. All different kinds of trojans has afore pact that has for different kinds at one that has alter sensitive one that has now made one that has no meaning the numbing but pull up and in other continents, ELF kind. It takes away all down you don't The number of how quickly to people have is that it's not sensitive enough. That's a number one concern about condoms after you didn't you want to know your dick inside the condom totally at why I don't use, manages make so mad the making of a comfortable enough. I mean I'm not saying that it doesn't exist, but I would be really shocked and I think that's not the norm and ashore. The opposite of short exists in the in the market of you know people premature ejaculation. The most people want more. Timmy this first, yet with a kind of shore this, we are one is dear to us. One is
a more note and our common one is drugs, directs performance, condoms which has a chemical inside it. That's five percent benzene Kane said economy to a doesn't decrease. Your partners enjoyment but it helps with the germ line and I'm sure the climax control will have really what is it numbs, a tip your neck Venza cannons like that's like a cousin of lighter Kane. Isn't it, which is a cousin of cocaine, shit, yeah yeah, a lot of them have that kind of stuff. A lot of them really does that scare camp imagined that common. I mean it's one or two that have it. I would imagine the vast majority are doing the sensitivity of trying to make it more sensitive, actually read recently that Magnum aren't really big. But they're like that, will make us feel good about I've unaware that letter. I've read that like they're, like they're, not really is big. Stick, so the guys with again dude. I remain: isn't there s an Ultra Magnum get yet that's four guys who actually have a giant hog here,
It is ridiculous. I can't even they will even let me buy there. We can even lead. I go come to really doing playing games in another. Almost wish you money, there was one joke that everybody had God dammit. I was one of those premises that every touch about buying my magnum and Box, rub IRAN's please stick their dick and rubber roundabout. Another tightened up conquering it down. There is another one, Trojan extended pleasure, which makes you nom pays at one guy, and the reviews on Amazon says made me so now. My couldn't feel a thing had to remove it, Erentz off just to get feeling back to my penis where a great regret about one poor. Do that keen becomes like a hundred times a day at a bulging disk he had a bulging griskin, his back and something happened, and he has
literally has a hundred zero a lot like urban legend lives up the street. I swear it is different than my cousin. These phrases like us in their attitude, comes at funerals and really he broke down tears. When you talk about it, it's cry, such a violent than any broke down in tears, and then the terror had his cheeks. It can t make me come who, as a hundred orgasms day, breaks down and tears on this morning, I guess, as tv shows this ass, he revealed that its ruining his life so had. How did it happen here? some sort of a weird injury and this is a woman- has nonstop organ too much of a good thing. I look like a hurt exit citys, Do we do when we get my libraries in your face Ireland's at odd, maybe I'm gonna be fine scouts trolling from Wisconsin. It's easy developed this persistent
and it'll arousal syndrome. Let's call it in September, two thousand twelve after slipping disk in his back while getting out of a chair. Jesus Christ. Being on, I tvs this morning. The father to explained is completely changed. Everything I've ever done. I can't do anything. I can get a job. You have to understand In America, ninety percent of jobs are service history and nobody would ever put me in further customers. So working is pretty much at a question, so just common goals. That sort of thing like that, how do you come that much in a day this guy's, a weird looking dude manage get finger, is fingers are all tattooed up. He's got em like across his finger is knuckles tattooed yeah guess I ll have to get a job. I always think when a guy does the accused, probably for efficient and Microsoft excel shit. Do you know what we're gonna keep looking? Thank you see a problem. It is come in my off. I don't know if this is true is a producer could come up to this? Guy and ask him a question and he can get on a television show
much vetting. Do they do them into the farm around? What I mean, I'm now can come a hundred times a day. Doesn't make sense, sounds Ickes wants reality show it could be right here, despite bring from a near constant erection? Mr Mrs Decker rarely have sex Occasionally we will but its very frustrating for both of us I've. Ride reading about it tried going to doctors, but no one can help me. I don't know I'm going to do. I just want to get my life back so when it get. But what is it? What is the medical explanation of how it slipped disk can cause that. That's a very good question. I don't think it exists here. I don't know it's a according to medical literature. Here's would say trauma to the pelvic nerves can trigger hypersensitivity innocent in this area. The pelvic is painful. Pelvic condition is left him household House bound in isolated, though fear of suffering a public orgasm,
fear of suffering a public, whereas with even some even causing him to drop to the floor. Imagine you're coming so hard? You dropped the floor. Can I This is what is called coming Reich ass. He says there different, insensitive in theirs different intensities. He says on the cause me to drop to the floor. Feel like all the muscles from my chest. My size have gone rock hard breathing just seizes up it hurts. At the same time, many have all these things running through your head as they happen to be around any one, and you do Want anyone to see it she's. He explain. You must nap a ton. It has just coming all the time judge you ever have real. Blue ball were actually hurt now, but I'd have dog once that I brought to the hospital. Could I thought it was really injure satsumas wrongly, had blue balls yea and ensure that animals are I'm never Franklin. He was going downstairs and where's was going downstairs. I don't walk knows
He was jumping Jack, UK body clouds and I've got lucky. It broke his hip or something news. I can agony so I carried out my pick them up play I put them in the car and I drove him to the vet and the vet check money was he was wagging his tail defense office and walking around. It seems kind of normal and I was like I don't know what happened was going down hills and he was, he was at. An agony was wiping and the that checks his balls. You look at this, so he had balls now gives also he had bought look at his balls, but then in front of his balls. His dick had extra balls he had these swollen glands on its desk fry was the weirdest should ever is like yet an extra set, a balls on his dick. So I go what's goin on. You gotta there's a bitch in heat and you neighbourhood, that's actual technical term, it's called a bitch and he goes out he's freaking out. I go. That's incredible like you,
so horny that is in pain, that's crazy. He goes yeah goes. It makes sense. If he's going downstairs, you're just a juggling of your balls going downstairs Benita Pit Ball, so Hewetts I mean he could take. Kinds of pain, so I can imagine the ball. Pain is poorly. I wasn't brutal. You just said lines from it to live crew bitching he a freak without meaning so home and when he had at once- and it was the first time ever made out with that porn stories- the first Porn star ever dated and hurt me for hours, while others are simple, clear about yeah. She won't give. You know you jerk off, and you didn't know that that was the Caribbean. Its supply document is shut. The door on sugar gotta go on, I mean literally from driving home to house my first time meeting her eye member pulling overcoat like for you never had to happen. That is that's crazy. That's a bitch! With actions
so when I use bitch in IRAN, one carefully you're doing it specifically to teach unless the listening gap that it can offer way for the kids about dogs. Can you out what they go through a dollar? Haven't you can you handle things. They can't do anything about. Remember, kids, if your dog is ever whimpering first things you trying to do is jerk it all. I had a friend he suggests. I know you didn't get it these measures are writing these journeys rottweiler off while it why he would put well, he would say that the dog was an agony. He would help him ass. He put his foot on the dogs dick, and you know how many and for not like a squirrel overstock Bob Barker Fan of like it get your dog neuter. You know that, while my dogs or neutered now have two male dogs are bored neutered, but I dont think its necessary all the time I think did you know people are concerned, but prostate cancer, certain things, but my doctor doktor crags, veterinarian he didn't believe in it. He said you don't need to because of its irresponsible to let you dog breed with other dogs. It was but the testosterone
like when a person has their testicles removed the men, nor approves testosterone, they get really depressed and he's like your dog will have less energy is like it just is. What's going to happen, here what they will lose muscle, though their bodies comes down and they are probably have less energy and he's like it's not popular to say but it's a physiological reality. Just deafening get your balls cut off. You know there was a woman that there's some really, to virtual experiments that were done with dolphins in the ninety Sixtys and Seventys who's got John Lily. John Lily is this famous. Psychedelic pioneer he's. One of the guys invented the isolation tank actually, and he was this guy who was? He was working on it species. Communications with dolphins need to set up all these experiments and one of the experience to set up this woman lived with a dolphin and by lived with it I mean the dolphin was in a tank of water.
Why was up to her waist and she lived with this dolphin to walk around the dolphin and like she would sleep there should climb up on a bed and she was sleep on a bed, but what she was working. Doing your show is waters in the water constantly with this dolphin and the dolphin would get really horny, so she would jerk off the dolphin, and that was a big part of the controversy behind these experiments because in her mind she was like look. He was young he's mail and he was really distracted and he couldn't to treat on the work and the work was there to teach the dolphin try, speak English and they were trying to teach us, say human type noises say that's his eyes, it is a radio lab podcast about it. I can't trying to figure out what thou masturbation out, this very honest is actually very case is incredibly fast, meaning and I had always known about Lily, because I think it's called hello. Yes call hello, it some it all is about the the the issues with interest species communication must be raised, dolphins, they kind of under
down the concept, but the can't make the noise level blowhole. But this he was trying to living with this thing for a long time it was Jerkin the tough enough and then there were they, don't you ain't got and Lily was do an acid and try and they cut funding area. Didn't you know it's like. I perspective that the effort, but at this Algeria that holds that right and you get another dolphin. Maybe you sent them learn to live with the golf and there's gotta be a better way. I think they were can you imagine a dolphin was fuckin happy. I can imagine that this is great and live with a lady. I don't know if you thought it was bad. We have this big hang about sexuality, but imagine if you and each one, your back and you couldn't reach it and you know you're being take care of by someone they scratch your bag area like. Thank you I just mean I would always lean towards, like put it now, yeah, I'm I'm I'm, moreover, don't jerk an animal of kind of branches meters. My point is well, then, maybe get a better facility to keep the dolphin and get a couple a dolphin. Let him live put them in a I don't know. I mean
anytime. You of an animal captivity is pretty fucked up, but I don't wanna jerking off is the right way to do. If you know she's jointly rowing, would you do which? What, if you had a cheese and animal jerk off which, as you know, a lot of people as we discuss I would not, because if you do it wrong and how are you are they deal with, the monkey would be a little bit too much like this. Do what it will do if you re wrong about a monkey and it is for consent procedure, your thumb like working, go exotic, gallic giraffe does its tall, you could stand out, but they might common kicking the head, my they met with. The rest is always a risk. When I was the negative produce daily show. No one said it was always died, jerking off a donkey. I think it's terrible way to go Koala. Barrack is a secure under you know they rape, a lot. Realer bears are famous for rape and each other. There is a vicious they when they finally bite.
Really how can get crazy? I did not know that knowledge, our golf club say w not only to sleep on this ology guys now I would say: let's put this to a test, I mean what what she did was ridiculous, but only ridiculous by our cultural standards. If you think about it like Logically, the real issue, biologically you're right, should never dolphin in captivity. That's all, but in the park ass he showed a document why they did it because it was really it's really hard to communicate with dolphins. The wild I didn't in Hawaii recently, where we went swimming with often had my four year old women too. She was in the water like right next may they are holding onto her while we're swimming and should get the scuba mass gonna shit and she's snoring Looking down with it all women uneasy. It's amazing its amazed. And their while these are not like that. All the unwieldy and they'll they'll sonar. You like fucking, like they'll, get near your though make work weird noises and shit
the Larry's talked Cardinal calculations. He's ain't jerk me off I've, just listen to me. We don't know that for sure. Just may I speak to you about it was apparently clues. Homeowner leg is like that's it just reached down their gimme handling and then back to work at the school. The dolphins never can build, speak pert human, I think, are probably easier for personal or how speak dolphin for sure we can vary with ever blowhole. Man did not make much sense fuckin thing. I also think at some point you know: there's no real need to speak dolphin battle. Point, you don't an area. In other words, we know they can communicate with each other and, like that's fine, you know we can use them as weapons of war their work is done on the agenda in the long term would often puts dont bombs on we're. Gonna go our luck and ships yet already. Why were they like blog minds recently when used in front of his showed how crazy man there. Don't really
more to that other released. More is a dark thing that we do need only be orphans and carried him. If we were more men that without would be made best for new, and I mean like a relative. The ocean that be dog, We all have dolphins. Imagine if they looked like people but with tales, but we're all the same color as a dolphin and they did Bri there, so they came out for a year and we didn't understand him cuz, he spoke like dolphins. Would we be comfortable if they lived exact, I would be comfortable with Emma captivity, then, no, never imagine, They look my second trial with Blueskin and Fuckin beard and they had arms and shared and a human face, but they would attack. I shed, and they live jump didn't have probably might be widower ground, but maybe that easy, in Vienna literally get a car from this. I find that I won't they said. Yes, I mean it would have. It lived a little bit more like a person like it had a mouth and we we, under its in captivity, withdrew issue regular, going apes, do
South Africa's. We try Nonestic for the longest time You know, I think it was black islands like Zoo, was saying black eye in the zoo, drunk zoo. Yes, they have an African for short period of time in the Bronx zoo. When one was ass, he was either early nineteen hundreds. Yeah yeah? Can man when you learn things like this? It makes you feel not feed Africa is crazy, shit authorize tab. His name was Oda Bang. He was a pig me and he was while he was. This is really crazy. He was known for being featured. An anthropology anthropology exhibiting anthropological anthropology? exhibit in the Louisiana purchase exposition, Saint Louis Missouri, nineteen o four and in a controversial human zoo exhibited, exhibit in nineteen o six in the Brok Zoo he had been free. From an african full slave trader by the explore
Samuel, Philips Varner of yours, three and now get into this gazelle cage travel. We travel with his guardian. Ices areas in nineteen O. Six tuna is not that long at the Bronx Zoo he was exhibited in the Zoos Monkey house. Why, wow, I mean to debate whoa that's where they still filer teeth down. That's like a part of their called While that is scary, it's crazy, well that's not along a man is a hundred and muttering gears years, fucking nuts, at scary, weird here, that's to be like another hundred years. You will a year that lady dirt up. We can leave a letter written its, we're when you see these sort of things that happen not that long ago and we look at it as baby in the zoo african girl in humans do what years that is.
Fucking car, you shit. It says throughout the late Nineteenth Century Wellington the nineteen fifties, Africans in some cases native Americans were kept. As is exhibits in zoos. Nineteen fifty But you know what we were talking but really about the evidence of evolution, or we should probably save progress. They hate it when we say evolution, you talk about human progress like thinking's, not really evolution. Evolution is by lot biological term human progress, but it's just pretty clear. Evidence at something's, going on and in this abandonment of retard. In these words, we don't want to let go autumn it seems economy moving in a better direct yeah. I would say that, like any time you resistant to that stuff, it's your ears in its annual impulse, doctor. I'm not within the reality is you're always kind of on the wrong side of history. If you dont at some point, though, I actually understand that there is a group of people who associate themselves with this term and makes them feel like she asked. If I say it and you know
there's gonna, be ones that I give in on and ones I probably down and, as I dunno become more try my best I get it for you for cable down syndrome. You know when you hear me concept, retarded untidily like the word, fag is a word that I used to say ahead and think it meant anything of it gets. I don't ever, I will call the F word. Nafta. Really do you like that? you said it now and I realized he did say it's been So I got to tell you that I do not intend bomb. Rarely are so there you did. You did good. Thank you very much, Minister Funpunk, audible ass, if you guys, like so much better, really appreciate it bigger vanity. This was extremely phone for me. Call for me to do one for us to lend you fucking malaria that time you wanna come back. I've read it and in doing so- and I won't let you belong to you- I was well I've gotta. I begin to be at the stress factory. Awesome clay. I love it in October, seventeen and eighteen dynamic New Jersey in New Brunswick and then when it be working on this new show for comedy central, fuller while doing gigs Roman hadn't? But my next time at last come to light headline a gig as at the stress factory,
this shows that this video Brennan show no, it's the wants it Larry Wilmore someone taken over Ferko bear all the animals are not a minority report. Awesome one has got it right now. It starts January nineteenth, that's what anti we're gonna be up there totally cool the French, but let us now be happy between that promote Albania. The bedside of Twitter is Rory Albany's, eight l b, a and ie as E r, Why can I trust factory before Euro that you really can already Norway roar? Why albidus I like, I used the ballast signing and they say come seem a distress, factory, hilarious, Deanna comedian. Thank your body will see soon big kiss moment, thanks once again our sponsors. Thanks to square space, dot com go to square space, dot com entered the code word Joe for a free trial and ten percent off your first purchase and remember
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Transcript generated on 2020-03-16.