« The Joe Rogan Experience

#644 - Brad WIlliams

2015-05-06 | 🔗
Brad Williams is an actor and stand-up comedian. Brad has a new special airing May 8 on Showtime called "Brad Williams: Fun Size" and he also hosts his own podcast called "About Last Night" available on iTunes.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Anyway, my guess today is a young man named Brad Williams. He is a very funny stand up comedian and he has a special coming out. May eighth on Showtime was your call again fun size? He is a dwarf. I just think of him as a cool mother fucker, but I guess you have to just you have to qualify that that is his issue physically, I'm short as fuck too I'm only fifty eight. I told him all right he's a great guy he's a hilarious stand up comedian and a very intelligent dude. I really enjoyed talking to him so give it up for my friend, Mister Brad Williams, the Joe Rogan experience trying my day, Joe Rogan podcast by night all day. Ok, we live what's up dude. How are you I'm doing fantastic, rapper Williams, ladies and gentlemen, with the fuck yeah, a meeting? If you told me six seven years ago, that I was
to be on the Joe Rogan, podcast or Joe Rogan show our children, no way in Hell, do I didn't exist so well, you're, right, yeah like go to Colorado. You have to find me and you have to go. Do it. I got an idea: yeah yeah, there's a thing called podcast that you're gonna love it there's no way. I would have thought I would be doing this here for six seven years ago, so, we're in the same boat love it man. They go man yeah and it in now did you at like we, we were talking the Pacquiao Mayweather fight before before we came on air. Did you actually watch it? Yes, yeah. I watched it and as a fight guy, what were your thoughts on? I'm sure you've covered this already. So I'm sorry, if you're going to repeat things, you know I'm in the minority I actually enjoyed it. I really yeah. I enjoyed it from like a technical standpoint and like two guys who are the best in the world trying to for each other out, yeah and now do you think that is a guy. That knows the fight game. You can respect defense more than your
which fight fan will definitely more than my wife. On to Sansom retarded. She was. She was saying you should have to get knocked down in order to win. I go What are you talking about? She goes that way at least be exciting. So, like then go for like guaranteed concussion Karen show like that which so ridiculous like here, like some people like icon get it she's, not fight fight fan elects over watching. It is as boring as fuck, because just two dudes, not in each other and then one one dude gets closer to grab them yeah. You know yeah, like I, I love watching hockey on TV. That's like my favorite sport to watch on tv and hockey notoriously awful on tv and people hated on tv. I love it because I played for like five years when I was a kid so like I recognize their setting a place, I recognized and stuff like that. The people. There's like this stupid or not scoring. I can't follow the puck and,
I'm, trying to I'm trying to tell them the ins and outs of it and I'm I'm sure the fight game is like that, for you do they still have that thing where they fall the pocket with a circle. We try to try that on Fox it was like and if you turn slap shots into a comet, take it like it. Yes, that is like red tray, behind it really yeah and like there was it, was supposed to get like the casual fan into it, but it's like no he's gonna hate hockey and then see a comet trail on the parking go well now I mean I've got this now. Well, they've done some weird like that with football right with the affects and well the only made, sing part is that I was a huge fan of the Xfl. If, if people remember the Xfl that was uh been and then thing, and the stuff that they did. Our is now being implemented into What kind of stuff like the overhead camera that is like on strings and that follows the game from the top that was Xfl now does
before trying to make. I mean they try to make it more exciting until, like all the concussion stuff came out, but yeah like there is, new things and certainly making it more Vince it's recognized that it would be more fun if there was like complex, storylines in like you, you do like the soap opera of it. Much like you did for wrestling so Now you see the NFL and it's the world's greatest reality show like they like. They follow the guys off the field in like they get into their lives, and now it's what the Xfl was were like they're trying to bill rivalries, and you know what players actually don't like each other and who slept with whose wife and things like that you know the problem with getting into the NFL's life like getting in the player's life is like you're, trying to pretend that they guys are not these savage gladiators who just smashing people every day, and you want him like off field to be like these sweeties
can pies and hugging their kids? No, it's like you, don't get a guy like Ray Lewis without, like did you see the video of him pleading to the people of Baltimore going violence is now But the answer and he's my whole life too, so intense like yeah. Ok, so if violence isn't the answer and move out of your mansion 'cause, that's what built that man let's highlands, people know who you are yeah super violent yeah. That's like that's, like you mean saying like don't tell jokes yeah, stop it. Wasn't he on trial for murder, I mean that's violent, but he didn't really do it. I was like one of his entourage. He was an egg or alleged three to murder was college and he was kinda like the Snoop Dogg Thing, Reid, yeah yeah either way he's a football player. I do like when you see like these fighters or these football players and see them doing ridiculous and people get all surprised right. You can't ask them
to be anything other than what they really are exactly you want that result. You want that Ray rice result going to get a ray rice, you're gonna get that happening which is yeah, which is not saying we condone it, but it's just saying don't be surprised when it happened, but you can all the sudden, in twenty fifteen start put in cameras on these guys and followed him around and expecting them to have exemplary behavior with their good at is when the fucking pay play starts there. Could a getting shit done right. You know, and the way you do, that is through violence, explosive, athleticism, smashing it thanks fucking, through mountains of enormous steroid, up, dude, yeah and then with so much testosterone boiling over and then when Richard Sherman gives an interview last last year or two or two years ago. When he's like what I think glad she could be put on me: Crap she's, a punk
then they start getting mad at him like how terror you talk to Erin Andrews like that a petite white woman in your just getting angry. Why are you so angry because he just played football for an hour. That's. Why he's angry and that's? Why he's good at what he does yeah the idea that you wanted him to take it from ten all the way down to one again lights and then just like come off like he's an Oscar Wilde play like well that we're on the field of battle very much I tell you: it was quite interesting route that one now it's not gonna happen, though those that is better, be too intense. It's it's not fair mean it it's it who wants everything sanitized mean we want to make the purity of the sport, but then we also wanted to be fan friendly. We also wanted to be easily absorbed by the casual person who's watching it, and you know this because you've, dear the interview guys right after they
yeah there are no after they've just been placed in the face: hey, they are at the end, that's really the most estos from prior. They can run through your body in a three minute period. Yeah, just like it and revved up, and then you and then Joe Rowe, comes in and puts a phone and explain what out there, then you would like they expect these guys to get like a complex thing. People wonder why athletes they get add that they always have those textbook answers like one game at a time. Well, I was just doing an of play. It played a time where you go back and were examined. They have those krypton answers, so they don't have to think about giving those answers because they can't in those moments, not only that a lot of people are just not that good talking on camera like this something you got to get a lax that we forget, because we talk for a living yeah and like that's what our normal is our norm, was talking in front of a bunch of strangers and funny on a moment's notice.
Be in an interview or a radio show or podcast whatever just flip. The switch go right, yeah average person does not do that like when they have an actor. Give a speech at an award show, and it's like something crazy happens and be Cheney is Satan. The old they're actors yeah last time they can't do that yeah, a lot of them can, and some of them can like one of the best interviews ever was Mickey Rourke when he won some like golden globe or one of those. Whatever the name of the. I think all wars are stupid. I don't understand it. Should you anymore you for far too faked it better than this baker, but I mean now people do great performance absolutely, but his. He did this amazing speech where he was just so loose and relax and then talking all kinds of crazy is like one of the best speeches ever and it was it was because you seem like real comfortable in his own skin yeah, despite all the craziness of that guy's been through and yeah yeah. That is it it's always. A that can go either way
a like people, either freak out with the honesty of that person or or it's really refreshing is is, is it it was a Spirit award here. It wasn't me was really what's really. Eighty two is like you see him in this video that will play a little bit of it, and then you see him now like now, he looks like an old gypsy woman, he's gone crazy and doctor his face up and is actually an image that says: chips, Mickey Roarke, old, gypsy woman and that's exactly what it looks like. Listen to some of this. Thank you like looking so happy. I wanna say one thing about Eric Roberts. Eric Roberts is probably the best actor ever work with, and I don't I don't know why in the last fifteen years ain't, nobody give him a chance to show his shit again, because whatever he did, one thousand five hundred and twenty years ago should be forgiven, and I wish God damn serious about that era.
Progress is the fucking man love it. That's just one part of it. Then he gets loose have needed like I like, I got. He deserves a second chance and I wish there'd be one God, Damn filmmaker in this room. That would let him fly because the man he is something else. Thank you Eric, ok. I will probably be arrested by the end of the day, but anyway,
little wonder that hit that thing. I'm going to be here as I get out of here, we raise very loose yeah like whatever, but it gets. It gets better. Like he gets down to three, I don't know what you do honey, but these two are really two really good. You know I I've just done thousands of letters and from my my people strangers of people that know me about about my dog that died six days ago, Loki Loki the people who have kids do torn up about their dogs right. I just got done talking to Santa Monica Police Department. They gave me a bad this keep in ten years ago, and I thank them for I asked for two pillows. They told me to fuck off, but anyway it's like this kind of a speech. I believe it in Maine. This is
type after he did the wrestler right right, right, yeah, which Dan that was a good movie. I told people in the past direct there's, like Darren Aronofsky, come around every twenty five years, the same way like to meet a couple of minutes and Parker Adrian line all the rest of them, and I said twenty five years he was sure to my ear, thirty stuff and the only thing I want to say to any young actor or any active, gets an opportunity to work with Darren. You better be in shape because he will break you down. He is one tough son of a bitch and he don't like it when I say that 'cause it goes Mckiel. They are all the other actors away from me, but there and you know what, if they ain't got the balls that bring it then fuck him. You know, anyway, I want to thank you, love this guy yeah, but now okay, so go from there and look at the image of him now pull up. Mickey Rourke gypsy woman, just just just just Google, Mickey Rourke Old, Gypsy woman. I would just
is wonder like what the fuck happens to dudes or women, or you know like that that gal fucks her name Zellweger right, that's not even know that one right he has this one look at that. Well, what is that she you? He said. I I I I I said she said she I mean: how do you like it? He he looks like his name should be Mildred right there like to see samples. Look like everything's crazy about that. The wig is crazy. This is crazy. It's like poor backseat see is here. This is wearing this crazy here. It, and is he trying to look like an old, gypsy woman, or is that just won't that's? He was at the fights that was in use at the UFC, sat in one of the decisions and I was the face to the name he's done some to his lips. Apparently you're right. He, he looks like the character from the Stephen King movie, thinner that
Gypsy woman like rubbed her hand on the face like thin head wow. Well, I mean him in Bruce Jenner could hang out and just talk. I don't think he's trying to be a woman, though I think is not going crazy. I mean that's. What do you do? Do you think, like that's? What this business does two people that, as they age like rather be Renee Zellweger or make your now there's some pictures out there. Think of, I think it's Uma Thurman, where it's like Uma Thurman's gun I six think they did some plastic surgery. I think she did some plastered written to her and it's just something where you're built up as like a sort of you a sex symbol or whatever for so long, and then it just goes it. It starts to fade away. They then does that fuck with your head yeah I mean I would imagine I mean someone. Scribe beauty as a short lived tyranny. Beauty is like of really hard one, because some women they go from being
unbelievably desirable and then through no fault of their own just father time, natural agent, they become monsters, yeah whoa yeah going on there. She do she. My God is. She do she pulled some stuff back. She doesn't look like her. No at issue. She looks like she's a character from the new movie X, Makina, man right. So weird hear: what did she do, I'm trying to figure out what she did. Maybe is that just her wearing no makeup, except for lipstick. I have no the I'm not, I believe, or not, I'm not a plastic surgeon. What a feeling that, if you added like, let's see One of them has all the slips all this eye makeup on and the other one doesn't that's a big thing with gas thank you ever seen a woman who doesn't have I make on you always hear what I make up on and then one day you don't you like. Who are you who are you yeah, so you're?
for Human, the Huffington Post and you might wanna porn stars, yeah yeah. The points are the make up thing yeah that blew my mind as a trip. This is the new, these girls, without makeup, like with the makeup on the goddess it is- and you just see him on the screen you're like holy shit. That's like the ideal and then you see without them. Oh, I know a girl from riverside that looked just like that: yeah It's now. It's yeah You could do some amazing shit with makeup of your chick yeah like there's a there's, also a story about a dude he's makeup artist. He he's, I think, he's a boy Black Guy, and he showed that with makeup. He you can look like Kim Kardashian and you put makeup on his face and at the end of it, you're like yeah, that let me grand it looks like a Madame Toussaud's like Wax museum. Kim Kardashian. But that's you look like that. Like you created that and then he
he is face without it is not like that at all. Obviously, Nana's looks are a weird thing right: it's like you didn't ask for it. You didn't learn for it now and just boom that, like in the it's an old debate, would would you rather have all the books and then slowly lose them, or would you rather be like Jace Alexander. That looks the back same as he did thirty years ago, but he's going crazy too. He's willing to pay no yeah, Jason Alexander put it play on it's like he's like walking episode of Seinfeld ninety four, there was an episode of Seinfeld where he wore to Payne was like It was really awkward. It was really obvious and now he's kind of trying to do it. I mean don't blame guys to do. So the the the the plugs or anything like that. I don't blame him. How Wayne Rooney the the soccer player did it
and everyone knew that he had plugs he's like. I don't care I care now. I did it, but you know what happens America first when you get a scar in the back of your head, so I have like a permanent smile on the back of my head and then, second of all, if the rest of hair falls out. The way I described it is like taking healthy people and moving him into a neighborhood where everyone is dying. The other hair falls it's like that, so they have a figured it out yet like it's like lips like when girls get their lips done, you don't want to be an early adopter of that. You don't want someone fucking with your face per yeah. This is the I think it. The bill. Burr bit was built bill Burr as a bit about this, where he's like yeah just wait until they till they fucking fix it like wait, wait until they get it right, like yeah, like the people that are going into plastic surgery right now like wait, what they can way because fifty and they're like Fox, you know, I just want to look for thirty seven. You know like that. You know what there's like some doctors nail it, though that's that's the other
former, some doctors and do a really good job of making look a little bit better? It's those guys that crazy. It's also like a girl, Uma Thurman. I mean how much shopping around as she do for a plastic surgeon if she even got plastic surgery or the other one Renee Zellweger yeah. Do they just go with someone? He could trust like they know who they ask around me and and and that's the thing is we talk about all the ones that went wrong because the one that went right. We don't know, they look great a ton that went right right I mean I don't know who but like Christy, well, she says she never had anything done. She's like sixty one or something like that she still hot as fuck yeah, that I don't know what that is or like genetics homework yeah. You could see you see Sophia Laurent, even when she was six thousand and sixty five you're like yeah. Well done for you she well. Who is the other one Racquel Welch she's like deep, deep in your 70s and she still hot as fuck?
yeah, it's weird, it's just the it's the just the genetic lottery. I I a gas or let me that, like you know because hey uh, some people are are born and they've got like the natural like boat. Like boat Jackson, where they say like just natural athlete, like God, given Herschel Walker, just did pushups. Instead, this entire damn life, supposedly, I'm not sure I buy that because he also said that he only eats like a salad and soup the whole day all day. Which doesn't even make any sense, and then he also has multiple personality disorder trauma induced multiple personality disorder So who knows which Herschel is is yeah one Herschel Matt doing Royce lots, and I mean if anybody could talk about genetic lottery, yeah right, yeah, no kidding yeah yeah, because I mean it could for people know of people are listening to this or people a lot of people. Just listening, press yeah. You know it
explain. I am a condra plastic dwarf and that's the type of orphism that I have? What does that mean? 'cause, there's over one hundred types of dwarfism, whoa, yeah cool? Is it's a genetic mutation? So have slight differences in how the how the I mean changes. So there are literally some dwarves out there, some little people that it's only like one of three people our world that have that specific type of dwarfism, one of three in the whole world. What are like? Okay for me, one play Asia is what I have is most common type of dwarfism minus characte, as by small arms small legs, prominent buttocks. I love that one a prominent buttocks in large for collapse, collapsed, nose, bridge average size torso, so like sitting down were making eye contact right, yeah, but I'm for for for your six one, five, eight, your yeah you're you're, five. Eight
so yeah in, but there's some there's some towards that have a completely different by type Lake Lake, Verne Troyer, who played mini me in the Austin powers. Movies he's got more for them, but it's a completely different type of war. For when that guy was on that celebrity. What was that show surreal life yeah oh, that was so sad. I do a perfect impression of of of him drunk when he's when he's a pissing in the corner, he made a noise that Is he you still alive duckies in, like he was drinking himself to death. You would think I mean hey. He still taken man It's amazing, the still alive. It's it's a hard core for a guy like that too, because he goes and he gets this big movie comes a celebrity like almost instantaneously and then, after that, a car drives up. End, no one wants to see him humble laser anymore, so that what you got
it's weird, because I I saw that in when I was trying to show business. That's reasons why I love being a stand up comic because no What I go always go on stage and talking from an audience at and and be funny. I know that, like there's only a few amount of people that can actually do that. So as long as I got that skill, I'm good- I don't have to wait until the producer says. Yes, I'll put you in a movie, yes, up to answer your earlier question. I think that's what makes people go crazy out here, like is the business? Do it to them? What goes crazy is that they they're not in control their own destiny. So they do. Have any sort of success whatsoever. If anything does take off for them. It's like they're, like it's happening, the trouble. Like it's all out of their control right. The audition for things you get the job you're on the sat it's like. When is this going away and you got to cultivate your careers, so they have to be very careful about the things, they say yeah. Absolutely so.
Yeah and that's a twenties light light. Like I said I love being a comics. I know Matt, not no matter what I always have that in because they have that all I've Ton of auditions for tv shows that I haven't gotten thanks Peter Dinklage but for that guys changed the game. He's amazing he's changed the game, he's so fucking good he's the he's. The main guy not show he's the dude, an it's, the biggest movie ever or the biggest show. Rather ever that show is one of the most impactful shows ever and it dwarf is really the big guy, and I love that and the fact that yeah they talk about him being in the show, but it's not the focus. I love that it's just like this is an off man. Yes, what's beautiful about what he does in his character and that show is he utilizes it to his advantage in the it lets? People underestimate him because of the early yeah
and Lord Lord knows that's that's true for anyone that has dwarfism like we're, not like, no one things that we can do certain things or they're, just not sure like hell. When I played hockey when I was a kid like the coaches on the other team, would tell their players alright, don't hit Brad. We what's gonna happen while, like I don't know if they thought they they they would hit me, and I would just like exploding the candy or something like that. But there is like Tony hit him. We don't know he could summon a spell. I I don't know what they thought, but yeah like like people p underestimate held the first time, everyone on stage. I got on stage because the beef because, like I got, was just like well you're dwarf. That's that's funny enough, and then I went onstage start telling jokes and like check you out you do you accept you,
looks actually prepared for this yeah awesome. When did you get? What was your first time monster? Telling you be doing it? I would do it twelve years and I've told this story on a couple of radio shows podcasts before but I'll, tell because it's a very interesting tie in with you is? I was in the audience of a Carlos Mencia Show and he's onstage making midget jokes, half the audience is laughing half the it's sitting by me is just like ha ha ha kind of pointing over like and he. What is that? And you look so everything goes white. Why aren't you laughing, and he actually said the sentence. What is one of them here and I just raise my hand. I was like what's up dude and he didn't even flinch. She called me up stage like holy shit. I gotta talk to you and I know you understand at that point and I walk onstage. You start asking me questions and the answers I gave got laughs and that's when I was like oh wow. This is what I have to do for living. Well, so
awesome see it did do something good in this world. One good thing happen. That's amazing, yeah! That's why that's why he said at the very beginning like if you told me six years ago that that I'd be sitting with you I'd be like no way in Hell, because there was a time and I talked about this with red band on my podcast. When he, when he came on there was a tie. I'm I hated you guys. I absolutely hated you and I had never met you guys before, but it was like teams. You know what I mean. It was like this guys trying to take on my boss, and my friend took fucker now I get it. I get it. He was helping you yet it, but you had to know yeah yeah. It I mean everybody knew there's I mean, but the thing that he would do for me, I can never repay the man enough 'cause. He literally me from being nothing like an open mic are 'cause, because what happened was. Is I got bit by the bug I started doing stand up about a year and a half later I show
up to one of these shows and she and he reckoned me and he said, like dude you're, the guy did, you start doing, stand up and I said yeah, but doing about a year. He was ok Let's, let's get you up on stage, let's have you open up my show tonight? Let's see, let's see what you got and that's what like, I put you out there because your door that's funny, but then what you got jokes and when I came, stage after doing about five minutes, he goes wow. Do you want be my new opening act like right, then they're more and I was a. I was a junior in college. I was going to USC. I had a year to go to graduate and I dropped out. I dropped out to be his opening act and I was hoping it for for four years. First of all way better job security, if you're funny than ever whatever fucking career going to put together well like yeah, well like that and people tell me they like, but you want to college like what were you studying stop? I was
communications, major calm down, I was a curing cancer. Even if you were a doctor, no hard doctors have to work and less like obsessed with being a neurosurgeon or so right, right, right, right right. That yeah yeah yeah, I'm. So I'm so glad that other people do it suppose. So so, dumb, like me, don't have to you know a guy like Carlos, even people that do bad things like people that have bad ethics, they're, not always bad. You know, that's there's, there's a lot of gray in this world and that's that's the reality of life and he took me on the road and when we and we're on the road he would pay for all my travel he would from for all my meals. If we're ever going shopping, he'd, say: hey, say: hey whatever you're getting throat on my pile, I'm good like each great care of me and it's funny because I mean like I. I still consider him a damn good friend, but now friends with you, I, like I'm friends with Bert Kreischer
as a j more like I'm. First of all, these guys, if french rider Bradley decide whatever that's good man, you don't have to you don't have to. I have friends that hate other friends you know I've. I have a lot of appoints is like that yeah and and and if you can't deal with that, their babies, you know, if you really need all your friends to be on. Your team look grow the up yet so some people are gonna like each other. That's why? and and if you have fans- and I'm sure you have that will never like me because of my associate. That is not true mean those for those guys aren't really fans. Okay, I mean on some punks and I mean. That's, fine, that's! So that's! Okay! If it that's okay, if you think that the term fans weird anyway right right, I ever I hated I hardly ever use it. It just seems odd. It seems like you're diminishing a person, it's like people that, like you, that's what they are. Yeah you consummate fans, like all the sudden, like there's a there's like a different tier
there's you and then there's them. There's you and then there's the fans right right is weird yeah. Just whenever you label things like that, like there's just people, you know that, there's a lot of bands that I like well, I'm a fan of a lot of musicians, and now I'm friends with them. It's weird right yeah and then like when I started doing comedy that started happening a lot like I was a fan of people and then you know like once you get past, a certain level and that level is pretty much just open MIKE once you past that level you meet like everyone. Is it like New York or LA you run into everybody. So now I'm friendly, like I'm friends with Dave Attell, which is weird 'cause love, Dave, Attell, so damn funny, and then I But talking to him and now, like I get an email from every now and then it's like holy shit. David tells email yeah, but I can't have that moment. I go. No. This is your friend Dave. This is not David tell the comedy I still get those
but I still get those when I talked to Anthony Bordain like this is my friend in a weird joke: Perry was on the podcast every now and then Joe Perry text me and I'll show a friend like fucking jumpy. I like Perry, Perry how old and it's been said, a million times, but I can't emphasize enough that it's true the the people that you put on pedestals are still p no one. Is this being of all power. That's higher levels like they're all people? Every is a person yeah yeah, the most brilliant people on earth are just people in one of things that I found was the most successful people, the most interesting people and people that I truly enjoy talking to there. They don't expect anything different and soon, as someone does expect something different, then they stop being cool. Then right like them anymore yeah. I can't I can just talk to you. You're you're, not you're, weird yeah, now now to make an appointment like on. At the Hollywood, Improv and Paul Mccartney was there yeah. I was there
I was there that night and she she was there to different times really yeah he'd he'd loved. I guess for a while. You just love comes to comedy, and I got to talk to me very briefly, but still, but he like a guy that kept trying to drag him away and he kept looking at like now No, no! This one is already. Let me talk, let me talk and, like is a guy. Whoever is some fucking hand like handler, whatever the pungent maggot yeah, just like Paul, we gotta go, we gotta go and Paul. Dole knowing like took the time and that's literally, the most famous person on the planet is right up there right, yeah he's got to be top five yeah, eight and he's taking time to be like no, I'm gonna give this guy his moment, and I do so if it's just 'cause he's a great dude. Maybe he understands the time Paul Mccartney and if I talk to a guy, is going to make his life I think, he's just a normal dude. When I watched him talking to people, he just seems the guy who is a great art,
but it's just a human being yeah, that's exactly what he seems like just a human being man, so yeah, it's it it's cool when you realize that in you, it's cool when you realize only. I can just talk to whoever and and when- people in show business or or whatever athletes that you look up to like. I have fans that are musicians that I like an you know like now. It's like wait. They watched that they watch yeah. Of course they watch that tv show they listen to podcast, they consume entertainment, just because there are being well. That's also the cool thing about podcasts is the podcast. These long form inner long form conversations with no interruptions. They they give you insight to a person in the? U geared like like there's a
people. Listening to this right now didn't feel like they're sitting here talking to us just you know, because as we're doing we're just we're just hanging out yeah, it's not that it's not that radio thing where it's like all right. You have a four, you have a four minute break, and so you got a six: oh you're you're, like peppering you're, pretty much to Iraq. Could you just try to get as many jokes as possible? Yeah come see you in wherever comma club you're playing. We know this is an actual conversation where you actually can I've been to how people tick and what you will start, in terms of those four minute breaks. They fuck with the flow that's why I don't break up my cock endeavor with with commercials, and I just doing the beginning in the end, I don't I get all these like really juicy first to do in the middle and I like it just fucks with the flow man. You can't just stop a conversation. Lee I'll do Adam Kroll podcast. I love the dude, but he'll like well funny say that Brad, because real great man,
rates, Mangria yeah. It will just start talking you like. Oh you doing an ad he's reading now. Ok, alright! I guess we were talking and then you have to sort of build up this conversation I think, go back end. It's also one of the reasons why I like doing these really long form conversations 'cause. I was found I'm talking to people were alone. I have I'm having a really cool conversation with someone it takes a. How to sort of get cooking and then, when it gets cooking everybody sort of relaxes and settles in. Then you really can't understand who that person is right. Now read and tell me something when he was on the podcast, is on my pockets called about last night. What's up plug, I read that I want to ask you about because he said there was like a meeting at some point. You brought something up in the whole feud wars thing called whatever you will, where you said
let's let's Steelman see, is magic, no he's so retarded. That's so not true! That was a that was a a dis. A sketch from the man show really Yes! It was a scat he's so confused his memory sucks. So bad that was a was hoping. There was a meeting, so actually misdealings definitely didn't have it. We might have joked around about it because it was during the same sort of time period, but we did uh. Sketch Stanhope did our The man show up. He went out all look at the devil in a perfect time. We dissect the one of your bullshit stories. We do is a a sketch for the man show where Doug stand, was trying to steal. The man show midget from those guys from yeah. You know the guys, the the the Adam Corolla Jimmy Kimmel well right right and was a brilliant, brilliant
yeah. It was ugly yeah. It does great on that, and that was one of them. Okay, and so maybe we said you know do that to men, see is Buddy Brad, but we definitely didn't have a fucking meeting and plan out stealing work. That would have a meeting and say it was a meeting. I just said you said you said there was a conversation where, like, let's do it, let's deal, we can hide, we talked about. Would you blow a unicorn? If you knew you could live forever? Absolutely we've had some pretty ridiculous conversations about the answers. Yes, but yeah. If you could live forever, but I don't know man, you might not want to live forever more. As I get older, I'm like if you weren't alive, you would never expect life right right because you wouldn't have any expectations. You wouldn't be alive now that you- our you wouldn't expect what happens after life? Just guessing? That's not! right now and I'm not saying it's a bunch of dudes in the clouds with a sure it's very possible that whatever the fuck consciousness is is not native
only to this space. It's not it's not restricted. Only to this existence the possible that whatever you have whatever is going on when you dream whatever is going on when you take mushrooms or whatever is going on when you die, they might be, a similar things, your your consciousness might be some sort of energy. It moves on to some new plane of a since it might be way cooler than this hello, you've that we're all trapped hello. They have a if, if the, if the theory holds true that there's an infinite number of universes, who knows that you just don't hop to another? You and say: alright, there's your shot again! No, no that's who knows that's on what happens every time you wake up, it's very possible that every time you wake up, you were in a different existence blow my mind all right. I had a cree You dream about that! Last night I had a car easy dream. Last night that was uh, I had DMT trip in my dream, which I've never had before. Excuse me, I've had him treat d, I'm new to all this, but DMT trip during your dream. That's
meta. Isn't it because isn't DMT kind of what makes you train? So how does it lead us all? All theory? Okay, but it's not what you'd never dream. Dmt trip like DMT trips are way more intense in a dream because you're getting your full being your brain with this chemical, that's native to your brain, but the id yeah being that when you're sleeping there's times when you're in heavy rem, sleep or you're, not conscious where you do visit the same realms, but I've never remembered it before not like last night, like last night, I was in there and it was really really really intense and very strange, but it was essentially it was. This dream was in some way telling me that this that what we're doing here right now that don't get all crazy about this, don't get crazy about this life, don't get too fixated on it, because it's really just one piece of some sort of infinite mondella of existence, and just like that was the entire DMT trip in my dream was was
yeah lags relax. It was like somehow another coaxing, or coaching rather me to relay facts and to understand that, like all this stress and all the weird shit that people have in their brain, like the more you can like settle that in the more you can, the more you can exist in in like a real piece state, where this is make your real self that year constantly being inundated with all these different ideas and stresses and different things that you're trying to accomplish and different things that you're concentrating on warring about could learned about. You know that you anticipate in the future and put out that all these things are both, and that was that was the dream. Last night was very, very strange: huh wow did you on the new mood was five hundred and eighty. Gps. No, I didn't take anything. I just want to sleep. I mean I took some alpha brain during the day. Uh I don't know if that had anything to do with it. I've been to
Zma again. I just got a new bottle of it and that shit really does fuck with your dreams alive, because ever since I got that bottle every night I haven't had dreams until I got that you know: Zen cups are testosterone. It up. Your sperm production probably has a lot to do with and then probably helps you sleep too. I think it relax is you it helps you see this is the stuff I know nothing about. So I'm I'm fascinated by all this stuff like just out and your you've done so many things in terms of other levels of consciousness and things of that nature. I've never even done mushrooms. So I'm like go to fest. You should shroomfest first large fear in the desert. You do it every year he's been trying to get me one go. I would love. I would love to go like I've had. Why didn't you go home? You haven't done so far. I've had such bad experiences on drugs. Rugs just weed through just we'd have had bad experiences were calm, like panic
tax, an exotic attacks as the good stuff. Then you getting good shit. That's this podcast pretty much every couple of weeks. All of us go into a panic attack plastic. There was one time it. I was my birthday in Vegas and I was dehydrated, and on top of that, it took way too much of a pot cookie and pass that at the Rio like next to like next to a slot machine like just collapsed, like it was like a marionette are just drop the puppet strings. It sounds awesome. The weirdest thing is that, like, like, first of all, it's bad biggest, so people walk by. They see a midget passed out in the Rio they're like. Oh, that's, a new exhibit that's funny. Now you get anything out of the like. Did you like, when you had that experience, and then you you know you have this panic attack after that over yeah? Do you experience any anything positive?
I wouldn't say I like. The only positive iti I had was because I went to the hospital and they pump me soulful fluids that I felt so good but afterward. I was so hydrated that that felt amazing. So given ivy in the hospital yeah it's getting ivy but so dehydrated. I gotten massage early date and I didn't like take. It was like the deep tissue stuff like that, like really sort of like you need to drink water. After that, you need to don't wait a minute at that I dance really not going to get you that so many rubbing on your skin bringing you out like a dish called exactly Jill. I'm very tight hold the bottle water yeah. That doesn't make any sense man, I mean to be honest with you don't know, but when they tell you after massage to drink bottled water, most of that's bullshit, really yeah they're. Trying to tell you is the you get your
sings toxins. Out of your system. I know drink the water. I know it'll toxins topics muscles, releasing toxins via your body's processing toxins in your liver you know. What happens when you get your muscles rubbed? It breaks up your tissue a little bit. It's it's massaging soft tissue loosens things up and makes you feel better. You should water anyway. No water is good for you I really don't believe that you know when you get a massage. It's releasing. Toxins me. Maybe I'm wrong, but I I just don't see how it could summer hurling your body and I never to doctors, say that actions that are released when you have a very strenuous exercise. Sure like that's, why those cross for people to get that Rob DOE, Milo Sis, I think that's how you say it rob do. Is when your kidneys start, failing because your kitchen end process yeah. Your muscles are breaking down and knee in your kidneys can't process all the the toxins and all the fluid. It's yeah, it's very
dangerous and it's, it was really rare up until this Crossfit sort of crazy Now when people go to the hospital and they find that there haven't any failure, and they have this, rhabdo my locis or the fuck, you said, and they they always ask him. Are you doing Crossfit because Crossfit they're trying people to do like Kennel fifty clean impresses in a row? Yeah? Do you know no I've competitions with each other you're you're pushing your body way past, like a workout limit, your do you pushing your pot to the point of like real failure? Yeah I talked to a guy was done crosses for ten years. It doesn't have like some significant fucking injuries like significant back injuries. If you get muscle tears or something I'm really glad you're saying this Joe, because now I could have a legit. Reason to not do Crossfit fade, not just that. I'm a lazy! Well, my good, going Steve Maxwell, who is really world renowned strength and conditioning coach and he's with a lot of
MMA fighters. He was one of the first Americans to get his black belt in Jiu Jitsu and he's just great guy and know so much about martial arts and know so much about strength and conditioning and health, and he fucking hates it. He thinks it would Crossfit is he says, doing a competition to lift weights. He's like in less you're doing like a power like when you watch power lifting they did do that once yes, like a one, list thing yeah like when you're doing a bunch of them in a role like would be with his take on it, is that weight lifting should be to strengthen your body for sports drinks in your body, for competition for and we do, a competition. Weightlifting is like it's kind of ridiculous, is kind of defeats, the purpose of strength and conditioning in the first I am doing strength and conditioning as a sport. He sees isn't like it's kind of silly. It's like it's supposed to help sports. It's not right close to be the sporty this boat
Ok, yeah that makes sense to pee and there's other people that have a similar criticism and their take on it is that when you see these big compound movements like like a limp, cleans and presses like these are full body. Movements does are supposed to be done with the low repetition, because once you get more a few times, maybe you know maybe a couple but you're not to most do engage those muscles like that, like over and over and over again to the point of failure, because you're taking some big fucking risks, your pudding, really heavy weight over your head, you're, you know, you're, throwing your into this sure cleaning it and yeah you've seen all the Youtube videos of people like dropping the weight on their necks or like, like some people, lose their bowels while they're doing the weight lifting that can only be so lucky yeah of of c I've seen those videos so yeah like an shocker, I'm not a doctor, but
that just doesn't seem right that it doesn't seem like your body should be doing that and then the other side, a side effect of Crossfit is that when you meet someone the first sentence out of your mouth is I do Crossfit yeah, that's usually people who just starting to do it. You know it's like anything else. People who just started do people just become av again. We just got into yoga, they all do the same shit, so people get into something they can't shut the fuck up about it. I've been guilty of that too sure Vegan Crossfitter, that has to be the worst how we can cross it would be interesting. It's just one of those things where a lot of peop for doing it and there are benefits to. It is benefits to any kind of exercise. You raising your heart rate up you getting body to work. You bought is going to breakdown and recover it's going to get stronger because of that process. There's a lot of benefits to it. Just I am very
skeptical when I know so many people to do it and they're all up like Eddie. If his all up his backs are rackham, it's all in he used to totally be all I love crossrail across it. Now, it's like Crossfit he's already been cast for that right he's out of it now, like I said to do across it, he has this Crossfit podcast has to be the most amazing park, as in the room well, first off across bidders. It is because yes did an hour and a half of talking about cross. It hits yeah the probably jerking off and like usually work out of the day, do you box general meeting of the trash can with cable, and you know this is probably good too there's some good to it. Like everything else you got to know like I won moderation. Yeah I mean you can run an ultramarathon if you're crazy, but you can only do one like once every few months, yeah yeah it at all. If at all I have a friend in his any. Let me read of his ran an ultramarathon and she had to any failure that was so bad. You could take your finger and push it into her arm and it would stay
dent, would stay, and then it will like slowly come back up like she was made at a member stretch, Armstrong yeah she's, like human memory for yeah. I duration right from the beginning, because I well it's inflammation prize showing a damn good, massage her kidneys were failing, so her body was swollen, but I can't really was all up with fluids. It's just like it's not good. Now my friend is going through a kidney failure. Right now she had. She just got Lupus and she's getting all these infusions and stuff like that is kidney, something that you have two hundred. So you can get rid of one and living ok life at the other one or fairly, ok, yeah. But it's going to be compromised. No problem moment where you might wish you had to right is it.
I think you have to be really careful about, like dehydration and drinking drinking and now yeah yeah hi in him, our mutual friend bean from the came to be enjoys. What has one kidney doesn't wanna Hunt would happen to him. He donated his getting to a friend of his all. That's awesome he's a sweetie. Yes, I love that he's he's a big Seattle proponent. To talk to that. Guy love you moving up to Seattle. He almost got me that fuck dude, I messed it up, I've got two friends that are like that. I have been, and then I have my podcast partner, Adam Ray who's like who's from Seattle. I fucking Love Seattle. I just don't love cloudy weather. That's all! That's all! I don't love about Seattle. I love the restaurants. I love the people. I think it's a aren't town, it's it's less materialistic! It's less like focused on just plain look.
Senate tension and all the bullshit that right at you comes with this town yeah. I think you characterize for Hollywood, I mean we're kind of out of that loop because were comics, and you know we hang around the store, and this is where we barely in that loop. You know, but God damn every now and then I dip my toe into it like I'll, go to a restaurant, I'll, see papparazi in front and people that are like just just all that hoe shit. It's just so stupid that my num, the most annoying part about the whole la scene for me, is talking to someone and well. I try to make eye contact they're looking around for the next person to talk to this certain places. If you go to certain places, that's all anyone is doing is looking for famous people to walk in yeah and then like they're gonna, go talk like okay, like okay, I'm talking you now because you've got. You know. You've got a few things in your life, but the next person that walks it was just.
I guess I kind of get it because it's sort of like bird watching like oh there's, a blue Jay. You know I mean who gives a fuck of a Bluejay shows up. I mean they're kind of pretty, but if Jennifer Lopez walks in like your ass is great, I want machine forty five fonts dude, oh there's the rare Brad Williams long funny, but wow. I look over there till Rogan, larger, larger the species so brand used to be friends with Carlos, wanted. We still friends and they'll still have this fucking. God is debate. It's in one to ponder, not man. You know what I heard many heard they had a falling out like there's certain people that are experts on like celebrity relationships and friendships. Those people are fucking disgusting people. Will she broke up with him because she found out that he was text messaging in his excellent fuck? You know you don't know you don't even know about your own life right. You can't even fucking Jamie Should I I wasn't talking about exam. I mean you Jane,
yeah, the yeah, that's funny right after we just went pale on us, she looks about it all morning: hey Geezer, fucking he's an enthused. That Tyler got a leg. Sometimes I'm mad. I'm am mad that, like the tweets that I throw out, there get like the most retweets and favorites are like Kim Kardashian jokes that's going happen. I hate, I hate the fact: that's how it is like. Sometimes I write Could we tweet like this? This is a good joke. Did you find one. I see that the director director of X, men quit yeah. He twitter because of all the mean tweets that he got all from social justice warrior types all these people angry they're, calling him a sexist and able Listin trans like this crazy shit. This guy is guy calls himself a feminist. I mean he's like a really sweet progress the guy, and he
attacked for the way he betrayed hello, Joe Hanson's character in the movie. It's so crazy yeah! Well, it was a whole thing. Where was it the the Chris Evans and they they they? They got attacked because they called a fictional after they called they called scarlet his character. A like that's, shaming, sweat serving someone, that's not even roll like. So, if I call the Easter Bunny a cock, sucker are going to come after me, be like well, that's just gay bashing. No, it does, exist. There was some money got this one guy who's like a famous social justice war. He's such a lot. And he was he was typing in all this shit and putting all these tweets about ex men ultra about it being violent. All these different things like do you know what the you went
see it's a want to see a God. Damn comic book, brave dork, you didn't go see you didn't go, see. Anthony Hopkins in remains of the day like you're, saying a fucking x movie. He was comparing it to. It was really hilarious, actually he was comparing it to war and like the attitude that we have on the military invasion of other countries in the use of aggression low. The fuck. Are you talking about man? Isn't that a guy you block on twitter that he blocked by serious? He blocked me blocked. I won't mention his name is like candy man. His name is such a dork. He showed you Joe, but he blocked me without me, even mentioning his name. I don't mention any of these guys names anymore, because I feel like a lot of these guys, this is this is why I know that their attention, because all their posts? Are complaining? That's all they're doing
is complaining everything is not only not creating you're, not contributing. You are just fucking, bitching, all the time. What a miserable cunt you have to be. We live in an amazing time, but maybe you can get video on your phone. You go outside. You hear birds chirp, you meet people, you hug them and all your doing is complaining about a fucking cartoon movie of cartoonish comic book movie as if somehow now this is the degradation of the moral fiber of our culture in the grading of women, a dehumanizing? Is there message behind the Hulk smashing a Mercedes? Is that that we need to not buy foreign cars. No, it's 'cause! It looks fucking cool cunts, that's it is constant. The world filled with cunts. Someone gave me the bed advice I ever got for being in show business is just remember. Noble cares about you, that's not true. That's advice! sucks. I love that but shitting on you. I love that advice. No, not fucking with your parents. Tell you that every day in my life
No, like I love that advice, not for the fact that nobody cares in terms of no one loves you or anything like that, but a lot of these people in their own heads and it's very, very narcissistic, where it's like, oh this person that we did so this offends me or how does this affect me, or this and didn't book me on the show? So when he is mad at me like or there twenty two million comics in LA and Eden Book on the show that week come down? Ok, you're talking about a totally different thing: yeah yeah yeah, yeah you just talking about people were just eagle. Maniacs is completely obsessed with themselves. Don't be that yeah yeah play advice. Can you some t man. I got some fucking crazy phlegm going on here. Yeah like I've gotta, my friend of mine, and she told me she's, like I don't know, I'm really stressing over the fact that some people said something about my twitter avatar picture and I think it's holding me back in this business like holding me back in this business. Ok, you're! Just talking to me: it's not it's not no
going to hire you and then looks at your twitter. Avatar phone says can't hire that person. There are people that do believe. That, though, those people that believe you know you have to have the perfect headshot you have this and that I'm having fucking Headshot. I need to get one together. No, I mean I kinda have a photo that I used for Twitter. That's my profile picture on Twitter. That's probably it kind of a headshot like when people say, oh, we need a headshot for club. These head shots are fucking. Fifteen years old I gotta get new ones. Anything with her is old San Francisco, once yeah I've been, the clubs are like and then Joe Rogan's going to come here, and then they got you with her. I'm like with a leather jacket on for the 80s fuck you still like your news, radio promo pic like really dude. You can anything else. Well, there's just so many fucking, there's, so many people out there that have ideas of what you need to do's comic or an actor like what you need to do, and it's because they're trying to figure out themselves
part of it. They tried like justify their own choices in with you, you know, or you know I just feel like this is holding you back or I feel like this is holding me back into trying to figure it out. So the talking they just my and I'll just put it out there, just so, hopefully they come up with the answer there exercising their own anxiety, mens, fucking, nutty bitches. At the world's filled with ninety pitches, Brad, that's really what's going on. I would wholeheartedly agree: juror, okay, this poor Josh, Whedon, guy or Joss Whedon, yeah hi set we'd, have w h e d o and how to say that are you who is this? This is the guy that directed the x men. I read so the tweets and holy fuck. Did they go after this guy yeah, but if they It happens to me all the time and you just block it. You don't quit twitter. Why would you quit twitter? Why? Wouldn't you just block that shit, 'cause you're, tired, assholes yeah? I think when it becomes part of your day to go through your twitter and, like I get blah blah blah blah blah like when that becomes when it,
adding stress that you don't have to have an just, doesn't need Twitter, he directs move. Because he makes a ton of money good for you. Well, I think that sometimes it's great I, love Twitter! I love communicating with people online it just you take a risk that you're going to run into cunts, and if you only run into my my opinion on the amount of people that suck is it's a very small amount, but if there are vocal e active, very small amount. If you look at these people, like we were talking about the social justice, warrior guys that guy had fucking fifteen tweets about x, men and I'm not bullshit. Fifteen tweets about how horrible it was sexist and ableist, and all these different stupid fucking shit that if you, or one person- and you have all these comments on the horrible nature of this one particular thing- it's like. This guy runs into that and he's you know. Fucking tired of it doesn't want to deal and there's mean it's
it's strange, because all these social media platforms, like like, like you, say their unbelievable in terms of the fact that you can communicate with anyone. You could get because before you don't know how to get an access to someone that you were a fan of or that you watch on tv, you would know how to do it. You gotta go through a publicist gotta, you gotta the fan club and then, like you, didn't know what to do now. You can instantly save something to anyone and it is but you have so much else that comes with it, where now, because people a voice now, they feel like people need to hear their voice constantly in whatever topic that might be rather be. I got offended at it's personal thing. Everyone needs to know. I was offending, at and we're also starting knowledge they're trying to get social points. So when they're complaining about something or calling something sexist or calling something homophobic or whatever they're doing sure so
sometimes are complaining, but oftentimes. What they're doing is they're trying to show you that they know that something is bad, which makes them of a high moral fiber. Yes, they're trying to show you that there are very moral person with really strong, intelligent opinions and that these is that in the time and calls it a room in the world below yeah. I get that because I see the word made it a lot and that is apparently a whole forward. Do you got a green light to say, like I got a green light to say guinea when we gets mad at me for calling times guineas. My last name is Rogan, I'm mostly italian, so you and if you don't think they're guineas, you need to meet my rose I'll, show you some pictures of some grown men with gold chains. Okay, like yeah, but I get attacked all the time for set for saying the word midget in my act and it's just like and people say like, don't want you
concerned about the message that you're sending that this word is ok, I was like I don't. Why is it bad? I'm still trying to figure out why people don't like the word? Well, I don't know, I think it's a language police issue, these people to try to get rid of see. Remember that try to get rid of bossy a couple years ago, yeah give it a hard push to an everybody one. You had no that's enough yeah. It didn't. I think, when you do that on a lot of people complaining about about words that we can't say I don't shows you like. Why would anybody want to get rid of bossy? Is bossy really so strong? You know what and is there a way it was. It was sexist or something they're saying that the? U they use the word bossy to describe women, the women that are powerful or women that are strong and in charge of their bossy, and that you demeaning them in trying to marginalize them in some sort of way, and you know Why can't the out of here yeah the ban bossy little boy asserts himself he's called the leader. Yet when a girl does it she's risk, being
when bossy words like Bossy, send a message: don't raise your hand or speak up by middle girls are less interested in leading than boys? Listen man! There there's a lot of that that social and there's a of that. That's learned behavior and there's a lot of that. That's biological and that's a fact and that's why it's exist in almost every culture, there's very few matriarchal cultures, very few culture, at run by women and that doesn't mean that women are less than men. That just means that you got stop trying to everybody even be we're not even when it comes to child rearing were not even when it comes to breast feeding went out even when it comes to during we're, not even when it comes to emotional intelligence, winners, the period of men in a lot of ways in absolutely- and you know if you try try to make everybody the same you're going to have a fucking. Bullshit world
isn't exist right, it gave you say a like. I. I think it was a story recently about a woman firefighter that got hired just because, like they needed a woman firefighter and it's like that you're going down a slope where it's like, if I'm stuck in a burning building like hey, if she can, she can run up there granted. I don't weigh a lot, but so if she can come up there and throw me over her shoulder and get me out of there just as fast fantastic awesome, I want her there then, but if you're just trying to fill a quota, it if you're like well like HBO sports, something where it was like. There's not there's not enough blacks in baseball like there's not enough black people in baseball. We need to get more black people in baseball. It's like well if the Dominicans can throw faster and hit harder. That's who I want in baseball,
you know, one man, why are you forcing it? I don't think it will. I think, there's certain issues with with sports, where there is some sort of segregation, or there is some sort of discrimination, and I don't know that that's one of them. I don't know if they're trying to keep black people out, as I bet pulled Show me how many fucking black people are playing polo you might want to look into polo yeah. Well, cricket is a lot of a lot of people. Color, because a lot of Indians people in India Love Cricket man like some of the best quick players in the world, I was that stupid movie, where they recruited cricket players called America Pitch yeah, that's stupid with John John Hamm. Yes, like a love story, because the name is a guy and a girl in like he lives, you know he he was struggling, trying to get it together and then girl on him fall in love in the indian guys to help them. You know what I'm gonna start. My own campaign, there's not enough dwarves in baseball. There's, not there's, there's not there's not enough about any sport. Yeah we're! Not we're not represented.
There's there's not and there's none in the NBA. Now what what? What what you know with the Joe, what the fuck? Indeed, what the fuck? Indeed, what's wrong with my people were in and if you like, when trans gender people get into women sports, if you don't support that, then you're a piece of shit like ok, you got yeah. You got a lot of flak for that. Didn't you just just the fighter thing. The one about the woman, I'm pretty much cool Is it in almost every other way? We did talk about that woman who, to be a man who is six foot six and fifty years old is playing college basketball, which I think is ridiculous. First because she she essentially has given a redo for her whole life, like she already used up her college credits like you know, you can only play college, sports for so long, but the dig is or the loophole is you play college sports as a man. Now you change your name and become a woman. Now sudden, you get a whole new college sports careers lot. Yes, so this man lived as a man played
works as a man live to be fifty got a sex change which I'm fully in so yeah. This is what I want to say. This is super important, I'm not in any way saying that someone shouldn't be able to do that. But what I am saying is when it comes to athletic competition. You got a fifty year old and playing Fucking college basketball games. Eighteen year old girls. If that's your daughter and your daughter, she can't perform to the best of your abilities because it's unfair 'cause, you have giant, fucking man, you know who is now a woman who is fifty right. Who's been had full. Testosterone, forty seven years or whatever the hell it is before she became a man yeah or became a woman like that's crazy, like yeah, you, that's where sensitivity in progressiveness goes too far, but at least Dan no one's getting hurt right away, What I had, where is the flight game?
That's what I had a huge fucking problem with and still do, and most people do too and by the way, a lot of fucking trans gender people have an issue with that. The people who don't have an issue with that or have an issue with me are the super. Progress Ultra liberal social justice warrior types? they don't have. They don't have a dog in the fight today. Just not even that may just say they want the opportunity to call someone a bigger. They can't wait. They just can't wait to get up you're. Just looking for the opportunity to call someone a piece of shit I would like. I was there's actually a surgery that you can have to lengthen your limbs Vicki likes forever yeah it it takes forever in your in pain. It's literally. They put braces on your arms and legs everyday. You turn a little crank and that crank separates your
phone by a millimeter cut. Your bones. First of all be cut your bones, and then they put this crazy, brace the screws on it. They did this guy in China who couldn't get a girlfriend, and you know, changed his height from like four foot. Eleven move into like five three, but it took years and years, and I was in agony, everyday you're, breaking your arm and leg and in the bone grows and re grows overnight. An like. We were about the bill Burr Bit earlier, where it's like a just wait until they get good at it. Fucking wait till you could at the limb lengthening surgery guys holy shit There's no other alternatives, though I don't like I am. I would never. I would never get that. I do not need to write a roller coaster that bad okay, let me ask you this: if they could do it like say in
could do it in was a one time thing it took a year like yeah. I had a cl reconstruction that took like six months, and someone said all man I would even get the surgery might, but I go to the six months and then my knee works again yeah like if someone to do that, if they could give you a surgery, and you would be in pain for like a year but after that year, you would be. You know five six, one yeah whatever that see, that's really sing question. First of all, I would have to write a whole new act. Would you go well, I mean, could write act about how you used to be a dwarf yeah, exactly like crazy operation right and for years? Why popping pain pills like TIC tacs, I mean if that surgery existed. And it was. I could take the pill or whatever and then just be five foot six next day and not 'cause. Now the guys that have that limit, the surgery they look like you've had limb lengthening surgery, yeah you
I see the photo yeah you're, the mechanics are all wrong with your shins are longer than your upper thigh yeah. You know like so it just looks like you look at someone like that. You just like that he's off she's off in some way there's a natural look sort of like when you look at a person's body there's a natural distance that most I mean people that have some extra long arms extra, wide shoulders or extra long legs, but generally speaking, it looks fairly normal but then some folks they get this. Sir. And your they're doing is they're. Taking your shin bone and they're stretching that out So your shin is, like you know, after a couple inches longer yeah, now. Did they do anything with time to write? They do nothing with like a snail dick in the spikes and stuff like that. He misses half way it's now they can survive. So we talked a lot now is. It is like stereotype about towards the data that it doesn't necessarily exist.
We have enormous stick. I was saying that what the fuck did work on snail dicks, it spikes spikes. My like a medieval weapon. How would you say that, like its normal, what is it that makes sense to you? Oh yeah, snail, Dick with spikes you're, not even qualified, so lazy, butt. To to add to answer your question yeah, I would probably do that. I I'd probably because there health thing so I'm going to go through them already going through that your average size people don't have to go through, like what kind of things you going to look like I've had a surgery on my legs, because my legs were bowed, and so I had to have surgery on the leg straight name up because they were on health. Lee BO, like I look like I was at five croquet wicket and then my have back problems now great everyone has back problems, it seems like, but of like, because my spine, I've got not scoliosis, but what's it called
like to know Sis curved on the very bottom. Oh no casinos is a short while ago. The shortening of the nerve can now Castro different I've got something or my spine, because the bottom there's a lot of little people that have breathing problems. I'm thankfully not one of those but yeah. There's there's a lot of words that have back surgeries like create like next surgeries, because and also these necks are holding up these Gi Norma's heads that we have yeah. I would imagine, there's a mechanical difference. Yeah yeah, when you had the surgery for your legs like what do they do? It's call I had what's called dome osteotomy, where they just they carve like a dome shape in my phone and then they just the bone like they just kinda. You know and then they just straighten it up and I'd be in a wheelchair for about like eight months but months yeah when you Don Junior High, so right when you're trying to get cool. I was in a wheelchair. It was awesome I
yeah and and I've been lucky like, like the fact. I've only had this since the one major dwarf, related surgery- that's pretty rare. For a thirty one year, a little person like there's a lot us that have more surgeries in that, so in that way yeah I would absolutely do the magical surgery that may doesn't exist, doesn't exist, Jamie see if you can find that that piece that they did on people in China that got that leg. Limb lengthening surgery, because it was really disturbing this poor guy that won, he won his face. Blurred out, but he was just talking about how he's hoping that you could get a woman. You know that someday a woman would talk to him and dude. I'm four foot, four, I get laid it's fine which your comic! That's the difference, man you're funny and does help a lot. Dude, we've all
seen some pretty ugly comics that have hot chicks, absolutely like what the fuck is just. Why is there one looking at me not ugly, you just a slob there's a difference. Thank God just sit stretching yeah. So this is it man yeah. This is the piece crank this up from that yeah? It might get us if you play it like the volume yeah just play the volume of it. So we can listen to it. Height has become a critical condition for success. Wow the proper tallness you may be denied jobs at Thomas is a word or even college admissions sizes left out of the gate. Thomas isn't right. Yeah I have their phone stretch will be in horn link. The try can making carry some serious those girls getting it done
and they're, not even dwarfs boo. Boo Dan is given a local anesthetic, which means he will be awake for the two hour long for so fuck me. No holes are drilled into that central is in place. He looks evil, but they are the key to stabilizing the leg. No goodness nope yeah that no well he's doing it with a wire saw. It could be proud damage to the marriage This is insane there hammering this into the sky,
This is definitely something you're going to look back and go. That's medieval yeah, twenty years from now God and hear what he says here. How old is more gratifying for patients and doctors in the day the braces come off for one hundred and eighty after a process that is taken one long year that day has finally come this year, the struts are removed out of their legs. Taking them there will face now the patient can walk away by herself. Now I feel more natural, more normal. How do you feel much happier? I don't see us here in the coming hours in his later four inches ready to rejoin. And more confident.
Four inches, it's all four inches in your shins. Imagine if your shin grew that much right I mean that can't be like your shin, can't maintain the same amount of strength and like well. It definitely can I mean, It's going to be found, yeah, it's all bone. I don't think that's the issue. I think the issue is like the mechanics of your body are going to be different. Especially if you do any kind of sport, it's like you're standing on stilts right. You know just just a little extra. Why don't you just get for it and just put on your shoe? You know wants to be naked and taller idea. Yeah yeah, like that's the part that, like that whole process, we saw two minute clip. It's a year at least or like between eight to twelve thousand eight hundred and fourteen months of doing that for four freaking inches Well, maybe she could do it or upper leg and get eight inches, maybe a freaky ass legs and then do it on your back
stretch, your fucking. Imagine you don't see your friend for like a couple of years and also in their six to like to use to be five. Five with the fuck happened, surgery mood, I've been doing a lot of shit like that. Thing that trips me out too, is like these are advertised people there, just like five, three or whatever that are getting surgery. When dwarfs do it. We still have the disproportionate body, so you can it'll tell it's like that, like you, don't suddenly become, I'm like a normal. Looking person like you, look like a dwarf, it was stretched out in a fucking taffy machine like it's not like. Everything now fits and looks, as it should well for us, someone who is a dwarf, they would literally have to stretch out almost all of your body right they would. It would have to be a thing where you're in just constant agony, yeah, my god, they've done it on this woman, yeah and and uh she's got she's got a
on on the left, but then like look at how the thought says on the right like when she's had the limb lengthening your ass and thighs are still those dwarf ass and thighs, which are fucking huge, their massive so that that just It looks like she has a weird thyroid problem. Now, it's also she's, only yeah she's only length lengthened her shins right is that what happened there? It looks like her upper legs longer as well, and lengthening surgery creates controversy. Gx men controversy. Okay, here goes three foot ten inches tall, whose associate many challenges but well, I was having hip problems knee problems back problems because of how bowed my legs were stress. What you had to deal with yep this accomplished with a series of three much bone: lengthening procedures using technology developed in southern California with such procedures, patients bones
the arms and legs are surgically broken, then increased, increasingly separated over a period of months, the body generates new bone to fill the gap, thus making the bones longer. While, does. Does it say what her thirteen inches taller oh my god, it's pretty one hundred thousand dollars for years wo four years to do it wow she became thirteen inches taller. That's incredible! For me, that would go to four hundred and forty four to five, five, two you'd be like almost my height yeah yeah. Sure, let me with that's crazy, do it! but fuck you doing If I was a small person, I would just stay smiled. I think it's great. I don't have any problem with that. If you're dicks the same size and everything I would, I would embrace being a small person, I mean eight. I, like I understand the things that drive these people to do it because and like for me
no matter what I do in this business, if I become famous actor doing movies or whatever standard specials, whatever I'm still going to walk down the street and kids are still going to see me and go mommy. What's that mommy? What's wrong with him, what like what's up, and so that never that never stops for ever, and so I kind of get what drives people to do it there just so depressed and so like cuz, they think that's going to stop and now then flies are just going to be perfect, but he's going to have that. I mean there's people that are beautiful, that fuck, with their face I mean we don't have to name names, but we know like beautiful women that have gotten a live, shot up with things and fuck their faces up and people are crazy man. And if you start fixating on anything, you start fixating on my shoulder should be like this right. I wish my shoulders were like this like they were. They need to go uh
you like people, and there was a video that I was watching the other day about this guy in Brazil. It almost had to have his arms removed has been circulating because he does this in called Synthol. You know notes, Synthol is it's bodybuilders use it to pretend that they have bigger muscles and they are so. What do? Is they inject their body with this oil? Oil makes their muscles bulge out this really weird unnatural way. It looks like they got like this like an infection. The swells? Rightly so, but bit by Saturday, this guy, like that yeah, this He has two turtles any shoulders and that not only the turtles like the z, look weird and crazy, but it's totally out of proportion. Yeah, like you look at his his waist and, as is the whole thing, is like what
Fuck is that it's like you're, sick. It looks goofy. Why would he think that even looks good? Why do you think women that have giant breast implants think that those things like that they've got like? I got double d's, but then I think I could go bigger. There's a lot of women like that man, it's just like Anorexia, just like certain body, builders, people have bought Dysmorphia, where they they look at their body and it becomes an issue. They just can't stop. Fucking with their body can't stop fucking with their nose like on. I know I know, girl was ruined or knows man. She had a beautiful nose. It was just kind of a little big, but she was pretty. You know, there's nothing wrong with it, and then I saw her with like a year ago, and I don't see the pretty face- looks like a ski slope like there's something missing from the middle of our noses. Like fuck. We don't do that. Oh it's so crazy, yeah it it it. I I I like I, I feel sorry for the
people go through it like. I can't imagine just nitpicking so much you probably have: a level of of body acceptance that other people, don't I mean I'm saying like you- have to use a certain amount that you just have to deal with yeah that other people don't have to deal with right. So when you hear people complaining about which do but she's only years are too little would rise up the yeah yeah. My calves might. Might my my calves aren't big enough on four feet tall. This really here to tell me yeah, it's like it sometimes, because we after shows and and and and the like, well Brad what you said on stage it. I really was tough. To move by it 'cause? You know I go through a lot of that 'cause, I'm five foot four and I'm a guy and I'm like Do you realize what I would do to be five point, four: what
horrible things I would do behind a dumpster to be the high footboard and you're out there. Like oh man, I, like I'm starting to accept myself, is five foot four because of you. Do you pay attention to all of the scientific research? It's being done? common genetic engineering and changing. Is there anything that's yeah? they come? They actually identified the dwarf gene like they've been able to identify the gene that causes dwarfism and the this debate is gone on as their as the technology keeps getting closer to the point where we can actually do this, but there's some debate going. Is If we can remove that gene, if we can prevent your child from having dwarfism should we, an allotted dwarves are like no, we shouldn't do it, it's playing God. It stopped up and I'm there going yeah You should absolutely remove it really. Why would you want your kid to go through mean granted? I've been like, like I said, I've only had like one
surgery and I made a good career the hand that I was dealt but there's a lot of people. I know that that haven't that, don't that and then it counseling the fun of their entire lives were hidden away by their parents. Why would you want your kid to go through that and the dwarf. You know what struggles that you had growing up. Why would you? Why? Would you intentionally put those pain on your child? I don't understand that. I don't hard to understand a lot of decisions that people make a lot of rationalizations of people may like like one reason that I'm able to be a comedian and sort of have this sense of humor about it's, because my dad was amazing is amazing, like when I was born. He now that I was going to be a dwarf, so he would go to the these Lpa little people of America meetings. He would find out about it and he was like oh shit. My kids going to get made fun of a lot like his life is going to be weird, so his philos
she was when I was growing up. He would make fun of me first, but he would do it in like a supportive way, like you would talk with me then say: ok, I just insulted. You hit me back with something hit me back and then get this is going to happen to you later so I was like training you yeah. So by the time I got to kindergarten like I remember, kindergarten walking in in a kid laughing at me on how your little and I would anyone how your mom is- a live with your dad anymore in kindergarten kindergarten in like I it's in the principal's office for like what you're hurting this kid's feelings, that's hilarious, yeah and and like it, and they call my deadly we're gonna call your father, I'm like do it. You turn you to be a can't commit He did 'cause now like when I get a heckler. It's like do you think you're going to say anything to me that I haven't heard on the street that I haven't heard walking down and some kid having comment like I've. Had I've had parents
bring their children up to me when the line is too long at Mall Santa and go hey. Tell this guy what you want I've had that happen to me. The came he said tell this guy what you want. We would just a regular guy, I guess 'cause they're like well, he knows Sanna, so you could talk to him and then he'll fuck then he'll give the message to Santa when he showed them. I tell the story in my special which I'll plug it now my one hour comedy special Brad Williams, fun size comes on, Showtime may, eighth, so watch it watch it and Showtime replay the out of it. So you'll have plenty of chances to see it anyway, but happened was. Is this guy came up and with his kid and was like you see your son, he's working undercover for saying he's going to psyches out here now, who's naughty and nice and he's gonna go back and tell and like I knew in that moment where, if I get pissed off now this kid
who doesn't know anything about dwarfism his first interaction is going to be with someone angry, sometimes, and that's going to be what he thinks all too. Dark. That's going to be the first interaction, so I can't get pissed off. I can't get angry 'cause. That's I'm saying the president! So what I did was I looked again when you're absolutely right, I am. I am working undercover I'm going around see who's ninety nice, but guess what you've been you've been really good What do you want? More than anything in the world that kids like? I want an xbox and I will try the data. What guess what you're getting an xbox and the data in the dead. Like I don't know about this, and what else do you want and that's like waving like? No no he's like he's like, I really want to bike, I'm like you're, getting a bite to look at that get one, and I told the kitten like the only way that you don't get these things. If your parents failed to file the proper paperwork. Then he looks a dad like did you file the proper paperwork than it is like, of course I did use uh. A bit like it was so and then, if she can yeah, then the dad like gets mad at me, and it's like what you
brought this on yourself, but it's not like you came to get a service somewhere no interest in the outfit like. I come to the mall and I got pointy shoes on and pointy ears. I can't get pissed when you say Tell what you want for Christmas. I can't get mad. That's up! You can wear pointy shoes. What, if you're in the like those little Ali Baba, she can Mexican point if it sails cool shoes. Your review styles restricted, because this seems ridiculous because it was like a fork and you know cream L dual Jabbar size do they pointed shoes might wanna say anything. It's Jeannie was going to say that guy works for Santa right. That's fucked up man, racist, that's sizes! I can't go through life. Size is expression. It's used. I heard a fuck How much show it was some tv shows said it. Oh, I think, was the league, I think the Lee
be gone on, FX, said sizes, and I just heard that I'm like that's pretty good, I'm gonna start using that link. It is one million different lists yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah, it's getting weird! Well, everyone to find a way for them to be offended. So yet so you have to create what what applies to you. So now you can complain like the rest of us. I'm hoping this temporary, I'm hoping this ultra complaining society ultra whiny stage. We're going through is just a side effect of people learning how to use the internet sort of like how people didn't know how to not get crazy in the 90s like in the in the internet. People didn't know how to you know, people get up but things they overreact and freak out. They just didn't know how to deal with people insulting them right. Roll right, yeah, I'm wondering if it's b does have we gotten to a point where, like 'cause, I doubt that in third world countries they
having a debate of? If should we say, bossy, Do you think those people who are trying to get you don't have clean water? You don't have good who don't have vaccinations are like okay. I know all the ships going on, but we've got to stop saying the word bossy leg, but we've got to focus on that. I think it's. A lack of columns in the human being is a dramatic animal, so we create this. We create these problems at a. Nowhere just so. We feel like we're struggling against something there's. Certainly a lot of that. Yeah there's, certainly a lot of people that just have it too softap It's too easy to like this, the ability to tweet fifteen. Times about x. Men shows me: lately: there have no friends, read it too much free time, your your your career is being a online yeah. I know all your does things here. You got family money or you just don't care about money and or the the US. You don't have the real problems.
The same people twenty years ago. What were they picketers Anne? How do I didn't exist is too hard picketing. You have to actually do something right. You have to show someone. You have to look people in the eye. You know if you're standing outside of an abortion clinic or your picking in front of a warehouse, it's nonunion you gotta, make fucking contact with people. You got to interact with the organized. You have to be good arts and crafts. So you have a sign. That's like halfway decent all. You have to do when you want online, it's just fine other cunts and you know You gravitate through forums. You know twitter groups and you just Condit up together. No, that's that's what you're getting all that counted up together in Rogan. It's also! It's like you, create this negative ripple. For no reason really, you just know read you can and enjoy a movie or not enjoy a movie. You can write a review about a movie, but this, idea. You know. I go see a movie that sucks but I did not like I'll walk yeah they're going. Well, I don't like that movie.
If I could, we did a restaurant that shitty I'm going to say. Well, I'm not going back to that restaurant. I'm not go online and start this campaign of everyone must think. Like me, everyone must not go to this restaurant. Everyone got to not see this movie fuck you if you like, Paul Blart, mall cop, two, hey if you like pop port markup do more power to you. It does not affect me. You enjoying that movie does not have any reaper machines on my life at all, so I don't care like every movie. You want to watch you like enjoy Comic, is the feud that you had with NED. Some people like you, have to be either a Joe Rogan fan or Carlos Mencia offend you fan could be a fan of no Larry, the cable guy. That's where I draw a line: yeah you're, talking crazy! So now you talking nonsense but like like you could be banned over later that cable guy and Bill Burr,
but they don't hate each other different there I get that. Is it different? Apparently I was saying x men earlier, it's avengers. They say X, men, Oh you getting all the same shit to Maine Comic Books and give a fuck, but it's just like like people who enjoy a certain music. If you like, if you enjoy the band like name your band, that is supposedly shady it. Yes sure I love kiss done. We had people get angry at me, 'cause. I love kiss fuck when the pixies can suck and your soldiers simple bad. They can't play so techniques and face to make up the complex she musicians it's like, or I can listen to their music and it makes me happy or you're moody. So you're, just a moody bitch and you need people to cry in their songs, hey guess what sometime I like listening to Motrhead. Sometimes I like listening to, does Sonic sometimes
listen to her. I think you have to say it different than that Friday, Smooth Z. Sometimes I like that. Sometimes I want to rock and roll all night and party everyday how about that yeah fuck whenever I accomplish anything halfway decent in mycareer- and this is absolutely true- I go into my car- I play Katy Perry's firework. I roll down the window and I left the shit out of that song. I don't like he was much. I go nuts with that, so there isn't it funny, though, with people that people actually do do that they don't like people for their choices like fucking. Listen to that like there was a guy that had a fucking bit about that way. Back in Boston and oh, it was Barry, Crimmins, Barry, Crimmins, uh, huh, various comedian who Bobcat Goldthwait has a documentary that he did about him, because apparently, Barry was like molested when he was younger, he's got a documentary called call me lucky, or they call me luck. It's supposed to be like a really dark and really good. L Bobcat is awesome memory maker, but
anyway he had a bit about going to the records and the clerk at the record store. Blake you listing the s. I was lucky you man! It brings me joy now that that that doesn't affect you in any way whatsoever. Yeah get outta here, that's it women's and on what what are they doing their pose there? I don't know I don't know, look, it looks like the traffic like dwarves bottles, rattle and rules are standing up there, but I yeah very Crimmins was like back when I was right now. I was open MIKE or he was already established comedian. He was like one of the start of Boston to yeah yeah. He was one, of the like. The main guard of like the a stock comedians in Boston like to stab as headliners like, really really respected, guy very original political very political, just, very just very wise guy had some really good things to say is really good to follow. On twitter to his twitter is filled with
very good points and also he'll tweet, some great articles and stuff and different things, but Bob that also starred out in Boston, so bomb. He did this documentary on Barry and I don't think it comes out for a couple but I think right now, they're touring and doing the you know the festival thing and trying to get it up there, fantastic yeah, fucking thing down and contribute to be a part of the show and Harris go below again. There's going, I'm you like consume all like movies or whatever that's standard related like can you like the new Kevin Pollak. One new Kevin Pollak one something on people via Missouri in misery, loves, comedy, loves, misery or something like that and see that yeah, like I, I've got that cute operated, go when I get home, so it's like. I, like. I love all those types of movies I like so
of, but I'm clean we're around comedy all the time yeah. I don't need someone to tell me what comedy is and only someone I just like the idea that do do comedians have to be miserable. Let's explore this, like, I have, friends are miserable comedians are have to explore them. I mean yeah, I could you, could you know or is it like, or so you just sit back and enjoy their art and say like okay, yeah, like you, have you have to go into the mental state of a Jackson Pollock or can can just sit back and they found the single paintings yeah. Well. Well I mean I don't I think, there's a problem with exploring whether or not comedians are miserable. Just I don't want to do it, I don't I need to do it yeah. I hope like that idea either that you could just want everybody together. Are all musicians decans? No, right right right. Some musicians are dick as circles. That thing you sent me the the stone temple- pilots- guys, oh my God, Scott will in which place yeah wasted on something or, but he that was sad to watch. He he's not in the band anymore right. They kicked him out amount. Now the leader in Lincoln Park is torn in
wasn't the same banjo that you saw at a private party at the UFC Party, or this is Dana White's birthday party is 40th birthday. I think it was, and God damn it dude. They fuckin nailed it they did that show at a private party, only a few hundred people there and they did. That show is if it was a packed arena loves I mean he did the little. The head is the bull horn. You know he does like some of his sight, seeing some of it like the change, the sound of his voice. He sings into a bowl he was as Scott Scott Weiland yeah he's a bad mother. This is this at the party, so I can tell you right now that guy can't even balance correctly, that food is something he's on some heroin. Jody's would say, dancing he's moving in slow motion
I bet he's having a good time, though sure it's one. It's one note he's just he's he's hair and there's a line yeah dad. I hey. What I saw was the total opposite of this, the solid jumping around this movie watching it yeah- I mean he was crushing it. I was really really. You know. I have no musical talent at all. So I love watching musicians because you watch musicians, you can kind of get this Inspira vision from them is totally unrelated to what you do like. I was really impressed with him as a performer, just as just as an artist over at this guys, fucking bring it
showing up to some showing up some private party. They probably got all fuckin ass load of money, but apparently he was a nightmare to deal with backstage. They were threatening to walk at the showdown start right now, like there's all this craziness to it like it wasn't chill about the appearance at all. But yeah but you know maybe he's amped up to get up there 'cause. Once you get up there, he was fucking smashing. It was so it was so tight smooth, and then like everything he was doing with such like energetic and focused, and I was super super super impressed. It's cool and you can see someone who's really in their element. You're, like oh yeah, you were absolutely put on this planet to be a rockstar like this is what you do and you're fantastic I would never say that, but I would say: he's nailing it yeah he's whatever it is. That takes to be a rock star. That guy is in that groovies in that head space. He's worked, really hard, he's done all the preparation necessary and he's producing at a very, very high level that that's that's one thing: a definite selling. Everyone is born to be a rock star boy
to be a poet or any of that there's a lot of silliness. It comes to that kind of shit. I think some people's personalities, 'cause of whatever reason, are better suited for certain activities, but it makes sense. I don't think anybody is born to do anything. You know just. They just kind of discover where they kind of where their talents or where their personality can sort of fit the best, and then they just accelerate mean finally you enjoy and do it I mean like for you, like you know, in college. See it brings you onstage, you say funny shit and you realize I could be funny holy FUCK like I've seen you know me. What was a process like? Did you get home and start writing the story? Arching comedy like what are you consumed everything right that one moment yeah one blip I it just because I got a laugh and it was a was a sold out. It was sold improv and I was just like wow. This is in I mean you know the the the drug
stand up of being on stage and saying something and then having a whole room strangers just laugh, and it was that and for me I've always used laughter is like kind of a defense mechanism. When I went when I meet People- try to meet Lee make a dwarf joke just so they're comfortable just so they like go like oh ok, let's go with it and then I and now and now we can be friends like now. We can move on past that So that's like something you learned over the years is that has to do with the way your dad sort of like absolutely absolutely 'cause an because then, if I don't talk about then people are like on pins and needles. 'cause. They don't know if they're going to offend me or, if they're going to like, say something set me up. You know so there. So if I make that quick joke, then they're, like oh, ok, you're fine, I don't have to worry.
So yeah as soon as I went onstage the first time I went home and I started writing like crazy and just started- writing all the stories that I've told it parties for years. Just of experiences and and things like that, you started watching a ton of com. Someone showed me. The Jerry Seinfeld documentary comedian and I was like I was in Man- does sneaky documentary. You know why, because I put warning Adams in that movie to make himself look good. I know you did, I know he's already like or you like, he did these focused on like when they come to you and they say, look you're going to be a documentary about comedy with Jerry Seinfeld doing yeah fuck yeah man you're struggling comic narrow in on this guys mess these freaking out is trying to get, and he just he's got no looks being on camera, and you just fucking shove. This camera isn't and in contrast, it makes Jerry Seinfeld, look very, very legacies, polished and he's done this for years and now he's try.
To do the new act like, but then, at the same time, I'm like in his comics. We know this now, like yeah free was trying to write new material, but he's going on stage like he's done this a thousand times so that scene, where he's essentially trying to think of a word or bombing as some people would say, he's very comfortable in that scenario 'cause. He knows what, to do and he's very analytic. Because he's done it a million times, it's not a warranty to wear when he goes on he's no he's erotic and he's learning all this stuff yeah because yeah I saw that movie. I thought I I thought I knew or Adams and then I actually met the guy. I'm like oh you're cool. This. Just a normal dude like you, but you know they added it. They focus on all the most ridiculous cigar does get there. An ominous face, have Barry Katz breaking down on camera, which at preposterous the whole thing is. I saw that I'm like they set this dude up like they used him in this fucking documentary, but
If you really gonna show a guy creating new material or got you got to kind of, do a guy who's, not loved, already right You can't walk on stage and get a standing ovation before you said one word. So that's where when he comes in right, so I think they kinda. Helps to have a guy like that. We follow in another guy, but on the way up, why did they choose or any you know this guy is not going to over shadow him. You know it's like you know they didn't do a layout, Kevin Hart Type character, some big, powerful right, energetic performer who just crushes and like well how the hell, as they had the one scene at a Caroline's, where I don't know who the comic was. It might have been an angel salzar but check it out. Yeah yeah should have checked out where, like he was, When his costume changes on stage at yeah, I think, was Caroline's and then you see in the back, like oh follow this,
how many? What after this the fun yeah just walk on stage and say: hi, I'm Jerry Seinfeld and tell your jokes bow me following that. Tell jokes that are actually good. Yeah! Fine, don't worry about! It did that's it, but yeah yeah. I I just I I just consumed all things comedy. I never saw that. I am comic either it was just that was the documentary that everybody always quotes because of the war and then see admits to stealing material and does that the interview was talking about you know yeah, I steal courses deal you know from on stage better run. Yeah I'd like the that is our money was our I think these are cats, can't do that if you actually are yeah. How do you do that? You actually are played. I mean that's, that's preposterous, but that's how that's all I know about the documentary well yeah, because I'm sure people to do that clip like actually is out of touch the subject with you talk about your friend, yeah under because it's like yeah he's my friend and we're still friends.
So we still text every now and then L. Some of your fans will probably like when thing was at its peak, there is a moment where some fans will hate me for this, but he called me up and was like I'm quitting I'm not doing this anymore, I'm not doing stand up anymore, I'm not I'm out, I'm just this is too much. I can't and I like I was on the phone with him for like three hours and my talk him into like back in the day yeah. I know see. Yeah see this with all your friends. Listen man, nothing wrong with him doing stand up 'cause! You know, that's not, there's! Never the issue! What d This you always was was he was victimizing other comedians and you might not known it because you weren't around I was on the scene. I like I like this mystery, and this sad part is is because, because I was with him on the road, I would see. Things
happened during the day and in him go on stage that night, due to minutes on what happened during the day and have it be brilliant stuff I'll be the want to say he's a great comic when he's like being a comedian, you know what the problem is. People get addicted to killing and they want to kill what time and when they don't have something to say, they'll, take somebody else's shit and that's the reality of it. It's a lack of mystic integrity, that's the reality. It doesn't mean you're, not talented. It's like we were talking about before this graze, yeah there's, not everybody's good. Everybody's bad or you know everybody on this side is good. I ran outside bad. It's not that to some people are really talented, but there they also have questionable ethics and then that's reality, and because what is most important in them is agile and love. It's filling up that whole whatever that hold that was created. We all have a whole. Every comic has a hole there, creative other childhood, some more than others,
some some in a different way than others. Everybody's everybody's varies and some people that the need to, bill is way more important than need to be original and the need to be creative, and when I don't have anything to say when they don't they can't. They can't find something, they'll just steal and once they will they steal all the time and one state that becomes what they do then, and they do it took their friends. They do it to people, they don't know they do it open MIKE or, as I said, the back room. They write things down and he's not the only never done this. He was the only one that was ever called out for it and got busted for it and publicly yeah, you know and These things still happen today. Were you know behind the scenes. Someone comes up short and says: hey, there's a book this. It's still an issue. The artistic integrity is always going to be an issue there's for sure. This, parallel thinking for sure, there's, there's gonna be people that come up with similar jokes like
there's, always something that happens in the news like Kanye West Golf interrupting. You know, yeah Taylor, Swift, going to be a bunch of people that have a joke on now is actually with twitter. You'll see it because I mean when member when Bruce Jenner, I got to that car accident and and the and the woman died. One of the first tweets I saw was Neil Brennan, saying great now, every comics going to say that a proof Jenner becoming a woman because he can't drive and that right that was a sweet and then sure enough. Within minutes you saw comedians tweet that joke, like sure it just filled up the line, because that's the most obvious punchline there right so like you have all these eyes look into one topic: yeah, that's what they're going to come up with it was pretty fucked
the day. Did they even bring that up in the two hours that no like, oh by the way, killed someone he'll fucking wine by not paying attention and renally yeah? And it was anybody else in that similar situation like that would be the main focal point, by the way you fucking war, paying attention. While you were driving a giant truck with a fucking boat behind it, which are not supposed to have mashed, what do you mean? I think on them, pcs. Somebody said that you're not supposed to have trailers or something on that street, because of the reason I'm stopping fast, which Google dot find. That's true, but I don't know if that's true, but that could be true. You could have done a Diane Sawyer Interview on the facts. You fucking killed someone a month ago, a month ago, yeah glossed like it was that's not important. What's important is, are you?
Are you a woman until the life yeah and by negligence by yes, your negligence, while you're smoking, a cigarette yeah, and I I think I heard I heard her corolla talk about this and I thought I thought was really interesting. I mean the fact that, like I, I think the car or he hit, and then she veered off into oncoming trapping and the car that hit her. It was like a hummer and that that part sucks 'cause you're like well. Well, if you get hit by a Yaris, yeah, you're good, Yaris is, I don't know it's a little little tiny car. It's not that it doesn't matter but like yeah, you get hit by any sort of regular, have to pull up a yard, define it take the interview before the car accident. There you go there, you go a so okay, okay, yeah there is, I mean that makes it can like an
strict like how do they tape it so long ago? Yeah, then not then just sit on it. That's interesting well yeah, because the fuck ruling yeah, but it was the whole thing where, like out of all the cars on the road that hit you head on, it had to be a hummer. So that's not good. Now it's just negligence like that. It's just so infuriating to have it. You know from a person, that's in the little guy people get really angry about it, but in this set in this case it seems to be like fate like no one really seems to give a about it. Thousands of people right that directly new into like these people that are trying to sue, but then the step daughters and apparently they didn't even have a relationship with a woman, yeah and also like, but you took away their my chance to rekindle that relationship. So I deserve a million dollars. It is kind of groove sort of who the fuck is to say that I'm going to call her tomorrow. This is anybody that deserves like money from
a lawsuit? It's, not the people, suing Manny Pacquiao for five million bucks, because the shoulder as the people who it was a Bruce Jenner, told my mom yeah. Okay, yeah. Sorry, it's money yeah! This is it's not like he's broke yeah, let's get a little teams money for that. It's and you almost never hear about that you don't hear about the fact that he don't hear about it at all. It's just indicated woman. That's fades away, fades away, oblivion. It's interesting how the public decides to fixate on certain things and not fix it on other things. Shirt like I was about that. When it came to this police violence case, you know the public will decide they want to Freddie Gray. One is one that sticks because South Carolina, one where the cops shot, the guy in the back on video, just running away that I was running away. It wasn't a guy who died in the back of a van. It was a guy who's running away in the cop shoots and like that one, didn't stick! I am shocked. We will it like it was, did kind of like a
two years ago and all these in a bunch of comets made jokes about it, but it was like whenever he and it was like missing kid time. It was like where this every going to be a new missing kids and everyone, will make the joke. That was all like good. Looking white women and not the girls and so many other missing kids and now it's kind of like that, but with police brutality and like it almost like the news, just sits down one day and says we're going to focus on this week like like, like what's going to happen, nightcrawler that's perfect perfect movie, if you want to understand like this whole, like is at least Cyana style of news. It also gives you really in the real insight into what what a news show is. It's an entertainment program, they're trying to get ratings soon we else's they're not trying to enlighten you they're, not trying to educate you they're, just trying to somehow or another get you to pay attention yeah. That's why
the the speech in the T show the newsroom room was near the beginning of the first season, Daniels plays the news broadcaster and talks about what the news was designed to be, and how there were people that, when the new its first conceived. They, they said no ads, no sponsors government funded or I mean out. Then you go to a whole nother part where they can't talk about their people, but yeah. It's like it, no sponsors to where they have to get ratings. Just right is VOA News it's going to be put on by taxpayer money, you pay a little extra get you get the news so now. It's not with the news new at at at the bottom, trying to sensationalize everything. What do the Clinton really mean when she said, but but but Republicans and Democrats and they're fighting in lake. So do the newscasters. Don't have that to go to
and I I thought that was a great little monologue that made that maybe can think like yeah. Why do we like? Why is the news at the b ratings? Because and it's like said it's an entertainment show, and so yes, yes, at the end of the day, the try to try to get eyes to try their try to get sponsors to try to get try to get rate so yeah you're going to lead with you know the sational murders and the a that's how you people to pay attention is only way also like we were talking about earlier. It's like when you you run into like most people that you communicate with online. Like my my interactions with people on Twitter, and on Instagram or Facebook are almost universally positive, there's very few negative people that I've run into and most because I'm nice and I don't cause too much bullshit but I say controversial shit changes I run into enough nice people, but there's a certain percentage that
and it's just a numbers game when you, when you deal with the news yeah. If you try to on our show, you're dealing with the events of, seven billion people, Brian the Nepal earthquake in this typhoon that hit the this in the that the that and then there's the murder in the grass in the top in the shot and the boy in the baby in the window. And then you can just feel that our up with these events, because that sheer numbers yeah, if you just looked out if you or end of your window. When you looked at your apartment, you saw seven billion people, you'd be like well, of course, I'm sure it's going down, yeah, there's too many people yeah, so so so happen. The events, you're dealing with if you're dealing with even like one one hundredth of one percent of chaos and violence, sure that's pretty good. When you consider you know what the world must have been like. You know five, thousand years ago, people just fuck, it show up and cut your village
half the right words and then just say: alright, we own it now yeah flaming arrows go flying to the arrow gray doing this again. You know that was in the news, and that was with the news. Was back there yeah the news: was you open up your window on people trying to kill yeah here? Here's to your king is now all right great. So if you try to like pack of us seven billion person like a report on the events of seven billion people, how the are going to do that in an hour you're, not you can you're not getting an hour by the way you get forty four minutes: commercial minutes, a fucking, commercial or sixteen minutes. Commercials and they're, like the news, is biased, you're like well yeah. For that reason, because they have to look at all events and say which ones we want to focus on what the the they're did. Their job is not to educate you about. Their job is to get you to pay attention it, and we have this idea that somehow another they're, like our educators like this is the
news- and you know when you hear them talking in that strange way. The news casters Talk Tom Brokaw Voice, yeah, it's the my favorite is when the uncomfortably try to comment on things in between. Well, that's upsetting. It certainly is next story yeah the the loop, the loop local news broadcast like after the last story and that twenty seconds at the end of the broad cast where they have to like be funny. Or just interact Did you see that one where the woman was talking to a black guy? There was a woman who is a white newscast and she had a black eye with her and they were talking about Lady Gaga, Lady Gaga did a performance and she starts calling it Jiggaboo music. Do you like she doesn't know what Jiggaboo is. Apparently have you seen this listen to this.
This is stage a call. One was what's it's hard to really hear her voice using? Oh, my god, how about the black? I just said we're going yeah, I'm a robot are right. There. I have a mortgage robot ever been anything like that, though, that you've said that you didn't know. I didn't know it was racist to say hey boy to a black guy like I do. I remember saying it: I'm moved to LA. I remember the first year I was out hard. Would you ever say: hey boy, white guy, yeah? Well, yeah. I mean it's like. What's a boy to like, I remember said that to my friend of my fingers, what what we, what you just said of that boy, a guy hey man You know you shouldn't say boy to black, and then he explained to me like I've never heard before my life. Well, now we going through that with training like you can't leave
training is out. Do you still say cabbie, though, for cab drivers so cling to that they won't? They won't even exist for another few yeah after over yeah like market. Did I tell you, I took it right out of the other day. I did not know how much more expensive it was and how bitter they have like this. I when I got in there that's all they talked about, was how horrible uber would you bring up uber? No, I had no, I didn't say it was like. Oh thanks, man yeah my phone's dead. So I can, you know, call is over no, I second, so I couldn't call because I was had to flag down a taxi right and it has like I, my phones. I can call and he uber the whole time the whole ride home. He was just bitching about uber, sure 'cause. They had a monopoly on the market. Then someone figured out how to do it better when you run into a cunt yeah and it was twenty dollars more like it, costs are the same run yeah for the exact same right. I've taken a million times with uber twenty dollars more.
How does the? How do they get paid? They get a check from Hoover. Is that how that works? Yeah, I think it's twice a month. It's direct deposited into their. They do any background checks on the people that are involved they're supposed to and now with all the latest news and stuff. It's gotten more intense, but it's still it's still easy. I mean, I know a ton of people who are comics that are uber drivers. Out like what year ever driver had a late CNN was he does some uber driving in his spare time. It's just to pick up chicks, I know member one dead mouse was doing and he was yeah, I'm driving up in Toronto yeah, and then there are you. Then they had his logo. Like you, I'll have the car logo. He was the ten thousand skin yeah. That was all that. That was on the map MIKE down yesterday, who was far right in Madame by Dead mouse and troop driven around in a ferrari. What, if you have luggage, though, have a trunk? You fought yeah, like imagine just being on the side of the street, like I call the uber, then like gene Simmons poses
Joe Rogan you're, very rich and powerful man, but not to get back there super lucky to get someone who's not to really retarded in your car, though yeah. Well now, like there's a thing like Hillary, like Hillary Duff, is getting a lot of press ' 'cause, she's on tinder and she's, like filming it and stuff, and like cute, like she's, trying to a reality show the idea. Is that sure yeah Jamie knows he's just nodding his head over there? Is that what she's doing? Let's go to r US weekly report with Jamie Jamie, say that again, please, you did a few dates and they filmed a couple things and they went on well, she really filming just sold. Nobody kills are right, yeah, no shit, some psycho shows up and it's Hilary Duff speaking It goes. I watched going clear last night, oh so you can see that before. Oh, my god. Well, I read part of the book yeah. It seemed like some clips from the documentary, but oh my god, I watched it last night that is incredible
you know. Scientology is down to only fifty thousand members, that's what they were saying, yeah and with that they still have whatever in dollars they have over a billion dollars. In cash. I mean there was a equity there like two sponsored tweets today that I saw like by Antologie, Scientology really and the twitter handle, I think, is that Scientology Church Scientology or at we control you, you small weak, minded imp, something or something like that. Yeah and they have Scientology yeah. How many people they have, which is a yes twenty, eight thousand, damn that's it! I am more followers of Scientology Suite twenty eight thousand, but like look what their top photo is like their top photo of church of Scientology, is a lobby of a bit of a hotel or building that looks like a palace yeah like that's what their logo? Well, that's the church. Yes, where the party,
the give praise to Xenu yeah hi key mother and Scientologists. So I guess, they're, like on a publicity run, try to not to be the same way a sea world now is out as head of commercial or well you this because of Scientology. May you who treats her young son as an individual as a result he's a happier child what, as opposed to a what you treat him like he's a arrival piece? What does that mean yeah? What parent isn't doing? That is because they're, not a scientologist, is we're here. All uh some weird show: did you see the sea world like how that new commercial that they've been playing? So we haven't captured a orca in the wild for twenty
here's force them to breed in captivity as slaves, yeah there's some policies were not that mean we're just cunts. This is really wild man they're trying to go for it to the diversity angle. The Scientology Twitter page, the science college emission of Kathmandu, serves as the base camp for Scientology. Nepal does ah mister response. Hashtag Nepal quake were helping and I'm sure they'll help by completely of eating psychiatry in the in the Nepal region and then all the people be better. It's just amazing when you see the actual films of L Ron, Hubbard talking. Yes, you know that was Jason Mazing and Paul hi. I guess the director like who who like got to like some super high level. You get the hand written notes from L Ron Hubbard is like what the is the yeah. Do you see it? If you see a call, I you have to you have
it's a whole new level. It's that good yeah that good. I I'm. I got it last night on HBO, go your use, H B, o go. I just got it last night to watch the noon. Nirvana movies! On there now yeah yeah, open thing down. I was going to watch that too, but I said watch this really it was late at night, and I was like I'm going to watch this for like ten fifteen minutes, no I was glued to that mother fucker for two whole hours? I watch
it is sad, two men, some of the people's bad experiences with their children with their families and taken away and being forced to work on top of the roof of a building. Fuck dude. It was how the mother, whose daughter won't talk to anymore the whole family, grew up scientologists and let's really hard to watch and then the guy who started taping the people that were out in front of his house, like the scientologists from his house to do a smear campaign against, and I think it's really important whenever you talk about something like this to look at both sides of it. Just does not look at both sides, but this is only one side of it. I had a neighbor that was a scientologist. I actually don't think he is anymore and I don't live near him anymore, but he was scientologist. He was the nicest fucking guy and he was telling me how much it helped them and how much it it go. His life in order as I don't think it's all negative. I think there's there's some for stories, I'm sure it's the same thing like like some of the nicest people I've ever known in my life were Mormons yeah. Mormons are great moments in
take a religion. I would really would pick Mormon again. I really would they're all family oriented they all I can I like tight knit or they try to have tight knit families there only like supportive, their their church functions are pretty pretty fun, though they all kind of band together to help each other I mean granted. Then you have. The instances were polygamous and girls are being married off at age. Twelve and light sauce are sent from weird sex, though Yemen, as they don't, really have those right, though you know, that's all you know, that's Mitt Romney you know the whole deal with Mitt Romney. Oh there away great all this commit grass, my dad's, like a hardcore republican Sub, Mitt Romney's before dad couldn't be, and because he was born in Mexico. Okay. The reason why I was born in Mexico was because Mitt Romney's family is from an extreme sect of of Mormon, some that left the country. When became illegal,
so really left the country in the eighteen back when there was no cars when they were no cars. Mexico is just as cool as America's italian cooler, so, let's just go over there fuck it we're on horses. Fucking differences, make this label and yeah you have a horse over here. You have over there have a horse over here. You can have fifteen wives lock him up in a dungeon. You have a party over here you have to have one wife and they tell you what the them they have to pay taxes to the at a local. It lets go of fifteen, so Mitt Romney and his family. They came from this one sect and this they're heavily armed they fight off the fucking town or not the Taliban. The drug cartels down there like they get kidnapped and shit extreme shit like the whole. The whole scene is like really dangerous. These guys are like they have rifles everywhere there going. There are always worried. The drug cartels are going to store the gates. It's it's really interesting. I believe I to the
Nissan it wasn't advice piece see if you find it vice is pretty yeah. I think they did a piece on. I think that's where I got all the original information from then I just kept looking into it, but Mitt Romney's dad like always wanted to be president, but couldn't because he wasn't born american right, like TED Cruz, TED Cruz, born in Canada, that fuck wait, but he's running for president. He was both american and canadian citizen 'cause. His mother was american, but is born in Canada. So, like some sort of thing where, if you born in a plane shouldn't be allowed to present anywhere the Mexican Mormon WAR yeah. That's it vice full length, Focke, dude, interesting yeah they're at war, apparently with the drug cartels down there, they get kidnapped and all kinds of great five part thing. Seven part thank you Jesus, for he wants a full length thing. I mean the one
vice doc I mean the warring Mormon sounds like a great band name. The warring Mormons are playing Coachella next year, Dorman WAR. Why? I live in Mexico Mormon Gwar well, I think it they were fine. Everything was cool until the Drug war game and when they draw or came. I think they got. They got far until I got well now this place that we had sort of decided to live and super dangerous. Now we gotta go back yeah? I don't know man, I don't know what happened. I know one minute and his family decided to come. Back to good old us of a having two Five sounds good. You know just have on each side of the house. One week you spend one with one hundred papered in theory. Any theory, it's like communism in theory is awesome because everyone just does there something and then all the things are split amongst everyone in like hey, you're, a doctor and hey your mechanic, but we're going to take everyone, but it sounds great
and then you get human beings into it where it's like. Ok now the doctor who went to twelve years of med school would be like wait, I'm being paid the same as the mechanic with the fuck. Well, you know one also to men like whenever someone has any control over people. All people like to be controlled at all. You know you get one grown adult as any control over another grown adult people resist. Then it gets ugly yeah telling people what they can and can't do with their exit since on the planet right right right. They don't want to hear you you will you will be a mechanic, you will be a carpenter, you will be a tailor, that's why Cuba doesn't work. Well, that's what communism doesn't work and that way now I know that style of break tater communism, dictator driven communism of the day they did decide what you're gonna do. What you're patient is going to be, how much you can make what is socialism in general like the idea behind it is beautiful? We all can
tribute, will become a part of this community and in no way your small family union. Your small family unit is a communist state because you're all like helping each uh route and you're all doing your job in the White House in together. It's very communist right, absolutely pilot, all your money together and sure, and then but no one's telling the wife, like you know, rights and that she goes through this whole arena. Yeah yeah does that and this is his rule, but I guess you are kinda. I wonder if there's going to be any way that you can test for what you would be best at, though, like that website 23andme it goes through your dna and it tells you like, if you have the warrior gene, if you have like all these certain jeans, if your kids are going to be bored, but I there's going to be a thing where they go you're going to be really good at math stuff, you're going to be really good at, but even if you are really good at it like say like. If something comes along and says, you're going to be really good at math, but you- really want to be a musician like who the fuck is to
sorry that you can't be a musician doctor. Ken per, for example, Doctor Kim Jong yeah KEN Jeong was doctor yeah like really recently and go down there. It's really good doctor and he's doing this acting thing and doing comedy, and I like that better, I'm making a good living at it going to do that instead and he's funny he's great at that. Not not that active I think, there's a lot of people who like to do a lot of things like what. If someone told me that I could either be a cage, fighting commentator or comedian, I couldn't be bold or have a podcast yeah, you know either you do a podcast or you know you do something else. That's at one of the other, I'm doing well. How come parking is. Do it all time to you want to do man? That's the beautiful thing, one of the most beautiful things about life. Is people designing what they to focus their energy on, and then you see the fruits of their labor? Like someone murals like
just decide, I want to do really fucking cool murals or someone who makes music or someone who writes books like you could just decide and when you got not telling you what you can and can't do that just becomes all fucked up. Man yeah it's So it's! It's reverse psychology thing where, where you almost go, you wanna go against it, even if it makes sense. Just because you like it, I don't like you telling me to do that. Oh yeah man, people, just it's not a natural aspect of for some people, it's natural and there's some plus some will enjoy being told what to do some people. They need guidance in their life they like and then there's also some people that, like being ordered around there's like dominant and submissive people as people, enjoy that and there's nothing wrong with that either makes yeah it's my freedom and freedom to be submissive is just as much of a freedom is the freedom to be free. You know, freedom to be an artist freedom to be a doctor with fucking. Let people figure out what their thing is from families, man, I mean how many fucking people
I know a dude and his family DIS owned him. No, no, I'm sorry. His family disowned his sister because sister didn't marry a doctor he's his dad put the girl through nursing school, with the hopes that the girl would marry a doctor now and should be a nurse just so she could marry. So she could marry a doctor, dads of total piece of shit and the dad disowned are and B. Is she married some fucking mechanic or something like that fell in love with some regular dude This is the world is filled with stories like that of yeah for a while, as my parents told me that I can only marry a dwarf, because any tall woman would only want me for either a six that is sure for fame or for money there's something like wow yeah. I mean they've since changed their tune, but did you bring up Peter Dinklage she's got a regular size
gal. Yes, he does it they. They said I was ivory yeah. I like the tall women. I like him. One moment they, like you, yeah, it's Why not that, like I have shelves in my house, I would love to get used, do get up there. Try using ladders exactly. I would love to put things up there at the fancy plates. We know if the fine, China, you see those big beans, the topshelf go grab the that only a missing yeah. That's like that's, like that's dwarf porn dwarf. Born is just watching people reach Shelton and you just sit there like a. I want to do that one day. Do you worry like, as a stand up that there's going to be a certain amount of like dwarf jokes, the way you'll you'll hit like a wall yeah I do I mean by the thing, is: is this center for special? Yes, this is my first. Our special I've had, I have two albums out,
and then this is the third special third, the third, our and one of the what are the albums when called with the one you don't get on, I there, call Brad Williams coming up short and then the second album is called hi ho the yeah and they're available on Itunes available on the website about Redlands County dot com. If you are from a website I'll sign them and send them to you so yeah, that's what about five cents more. So yeah a and but the thing is: is that like My jokes are always going to have a little person perspective because I don't know how to write any other way, they're, not necessarily going to be Worf jokes, like hey, I can like in this weird I wear the size chart or whatever the it like. It's not going to be what we have there. I always used this example that a guy told me to say on stage she's like I wrote a joke for you. What's that goes you go instead
and say you can take a bath in a symbol. It's gonna be a letter. Alright, thanks good, so so that that's like my example of like the like the cheesy dwarf, joke but no matter what I do. My what I experienced always going to be through that perspective said simply because I don't know what it's like, if it's that different to experience things to for the through the through the eyes of a five foot, eight guy, I don't know, I'm not familiar with it. I don't know, I don't know if it's different, it might be exam. The same. Do you think? Do you ever get to a point where it just doesn't even get a dress? Like save you become the AMOS Comic in your you know, twenty years and then you're, you know doing specials right on a regular basis like every two three years, but I was you are every knows you do I will I will. I would imagine. Is it because right Now it's at a point where, when I go on,
I have to talk about it because the entire audience like yellow. What's this, what's what's up with this, I got it. I got no, because people are that familiar with little people. It is it's an experience that a lot of people aren't necessarily and and there's a A wants is to it that some people just aren't like quite aware of so so and have a lot of questions. So I go on stage and I address those questions, but I don't I think that my entire act is just like to object right now, like I go into it run out, they just have to there's only so things that you can cover right now. In the new, our them try them I'm to get together? A lot of the jokes are just like. This is what my life is like. The stories that happen to me that weird as fuck that you that you're at This person wouldn't even consider, and you don't think about an inch necessarily like God, if I fall off a curb, that's a long way moon. You know it's not like that. It's just like when a dude got
like when I won't do the joke, but like a guy a new car accident with a guy and he got out and and when he saw me he give a about the car accident. He was like whoa all right. Let's talk about this, if you start asking questions like I said, a norm was on a normal thing for user happen. Yeah, like people have that uncomfortable you do not own the fact. They wasn't angry about the fact that I up his car was like whatever you hit him, always totally my fault. I was texting while driving like eighty. It never do that people, my fault so yeah, I Rex car, like you eating care. He liked. This is awesome, like you just start talking about being a little person like whatever, whatever I actually wrote, it's fine should you showed up yeah later, is our phone books tape to your pedals and stuff, like that, I have pedal extenders, so hello extends those kind of close. So it's like met metal rods that that you put on at you attach, and then you put that have a pedal on top
Brian. Don't remember that dude who drove us around zero in Texas yeah norm had no arms and legs. You know we had no charm he's there. He drove us around. We we got in the car and hand, controls and video of the of the of the Joe show its hand and, I believe, is unavailable. I think it is on you to be a while and see if you find the gym in with that, but yeah he's he drives around with his out. It was like he was a spinning. You know that the steering little and so she is the mother of invention, who is the trip, was really good. He was drunk. I think I don't know. If he's drunk, I didn't breath Ilasm yeah now. Look at that yeah he's got the numbers. I forgot about him that was he slips out of yeah and uh. This guy drives around. He drives around in his van wow yeah, there's a part where, right after here, where he actually shows I'm driving, I think yeah and then his other fre
and what was wet with his other friend about his other friend was paralyzed. He was in a wheelchair and he was heckling and he wouldn't stop heckling. So I taught a girl who is in the front row with them how to choke him unconscious. So she choked to do out is in CAP city yeah, I record my first album. Place is awesome. Show this part. This is a good part fuck she. So this is the guy with no arms recycling yeah. I know this is a friend sent. I think I talked as friends choking him unconscious. I was with him and I can't claim to her how she, get him from my when does chuck, come out
yeah. She eventually did coaster through it, couple of trump these people search on the right or left. That's awesome! You know you have to be ruining a show. The audience is encourage ing to lose conscious of woman who just showed her tits to choke a man who's in a wheelchair unconscious. She put him out
it was hilarious yeah a valley going to utilize that equipment all ballets fucking hate me with yeah. Would you value your car? No like, like I pull up and I just go dude. Let me do it yeah. I would imagine right like they probably have to have their knees up way. High yeah yeah, yeah 'cause, like I've, got my car. I've got my seat at the perfect spot. Where I can see the mirror steering wheels good. I could reach everything it's good now in the valley gets and they just fuck it up. So so I just tell him: hey I'll pay the valley fee. Just let me park it I'll come out like just do that,
there's certain cars you can use in certain cars you can't use like certain cars. You can adjust properly yet like the car I have right now I got a Lexus c t, which is little hatchback hybrid and I didn't have to do too much to it. I got centers on that that were very and then the seat moves up a lot, but also their steering wheel extends out so uh. My arms are good. Customers are small, but Yes, I was able to grab string. Will I can drive that thing with not too much modification? The only thing I'd do was out. I also the pop the airbag, because I'm really close to the steering wheel. So bad so, if that airbag goes off, take your hat off yeah I'm gone you seen. Most faces and they get hit with that air bag there by fucking, looks like give you some black eyes. It looks like they got hit with a waffle iron things like those lines on their face. I think good way to put it yeah, and I got those to you based on watching that video. Thank you because you treated that guy and his friend like an equal you just
now, you're in the front row you're due buddy tackling okay, you got no arms. Well, there was three hundred other people in the show that he was right, one in four one right so, but people have to deal with and you- and we can all agree on this yeah when you're doing a show- and someone is heckling- it's not just you. This person is fucking it up for you. There fucking up for the whole room. That's why everybody gets angry at them. Yeah! It's like people, don't stand that like there's this thing like you're trying to put on a show yeah. I want someone to jump him like that, like that person needs to be stopped at all costs. Yes, I like, when I get a heckler. It's why I like Some people say when a comic go on stage and they get a heckler than they get like all, but he This woman was heckling him and then he said that she should go get raped by one thousand dicks. It's like he's, not thinking or she's, not thinking much politically correct. That moment, you're only thought
shut. The up yeah, okay is machine is possible as a lawyer and also reflect the attitude of the room right because the room they're angry, like you, they want to say someone there, but they can't right and also the voice of that yeah. There. Fifteen twenty rows back and if you say I hope you get raped by a thousand decks yeah. They don't really think that right now, but that's when you violate the agreement. The agreement is, I Tom to show yeah yeah. That's the agreement. You come you're an audience member you're, not a part of the show in there interrupting bits that are planned out in advance. You interrupted time making it all about you you're a selfish fuck, and I hate that excuse of well, you should be a professional part of it is that is part of the job part of the fuck up. That is part of the Ja Cible, but the idea that you should be a professional meaning that, like this is like they use just deal with it and
I shouldn't say anything mean yes, but without saying anything, controversial aq, we don't even know what this job is. You have no idea, like people think that, just because they paid money to come see you they can sort of dictate how you do it yeah. It's the same with a semi with the movies I paid money to see this x men movie. It must be to my liking, yeah, collapse is wearing the wrong outfit cons, cons of Jr's right reacts when I don't remember all right: Brad Williams, funny Brad on Twitter and your special is May eighth. May eighth Brad Williams, fun side, which is really soon yeah, like this week already covered this friend, was today this Friday. Yeah today is the sixth out two days away. Yeah show time brought, Williams and then the other ones are available. On I tunes to a Brad Williams search for go to Brad Williams, comedy Khan, the the podcast they do with at it is called about last night, Mister
red band is a guest on a very future episode. We've had Melissa, Mccarthy that, but second, like got a lot of cool people on there, hopefully in the future job and yeah and the listen, and then I'm really glad I finally got to do this because, like I said you're years ago, I hated you having having never met you and now and now I made it never hated you dude there you go, I'm glad we got together too. It was fun thanks. Buddy grab Williams. Ladies gentlemen, see fucker soon, bye, bye. All my friends! That's it for the podcast hollow stand, dates. I have coming up the big ones may 22nd. I am at the car theater at the MGM Grand with none other than tony Motherfucking Hinchcliffe and Tom Motherfucking Segura June, fifth and sixth and seventh. I am at Irvine Improv in Lovely Irvine, CA.
Fornia Harlow um. And then the other big one is July July 24th. I am at the Chicago Theater in shit. Chicago Il God, Damn son, that's going to be fun! Alright, That's it for stand up, comedy dates and thanks to my sponsors, thanks to Nature Box, go to naturebox dot com, Slash Rogan, to start your free trial. Today, free snacks, goddamnit there fucking awesome snacks. You will enjoy them thanks to Legalzoom, go to Legalzoom dot com save some only by using the referral code Rogan at checkout. Thank you to on it. Com go to onnit use the code. Word Rogan, save ten percent off any and all supplements, and Last but not least, thank you to one eight hundred flowers, dot com that is, is avail
will only this offer only through tomorrow, Thursday may. Seventh, if you go to one 800flowers dot com, you can get twenty four by UT full multi colored roses. Just two thousand nine hundred and ninety nine. But again this offer is only good until Thursday may seventh, but you could still get him if you get him before mother's day. There's still will other great offers for mother's day from one eight one flowers, dot, com, just use the code word JRE click on the radio. Microphone in the upper right hand, corner entering They re or call one eight hundred flowers and mention Jry all right. My friends, thank you. So Much and I can't say enough, nice things to you, fucking people. I appreciate the hell out of you and I will be back on Friday with Jon Ronson. He is the author of the book, so been publicly shamed very interesting and brilliant man. We should have a wonderful conversation,
can't wait to do so. So until then, you fucks much love, bye, bye, big, kiss.
Transcript generated on 2019-10-15.