« The Joe Rogan Experience

#704 - Alonzo Bodden

2015-10-05 | 🔗
Alonzo Bodden is a stand up comedian and winner of Last Comic Standing Season 3. He also hosts his own podcast called "Who's Paying Attention" available on iTunes.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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building your website today when you decide a sign of four square space make sure you use the offer code joe to get ten percent off your first purchase thank you swear space for your support and the jew speeds my guess is today is the great alonzo boden he's a good friend i've been bodies with this guy for a long time he is a hilarious stand of comedian he won ass comic standing and he just an all round right this dude every time i see him he's just he's always the same guys always friendly and happy and he's fucking hilarious stand up commies just absolutely excellent to stir joy to be around a lover stood so that any further do please welcome a friend alonzo boat the job will gain experience boom boom boom we're alive
but we live with alonzo bony just got brain camp trails for the past six hours don't cry elam joe southern california he's controlling mines and the weather there's a reason why claudia folks its alonzo bone hilarious stand a comedian slash whether modification expert opens up joe can happen with rain tonight i'm saying i just can't believe it you know you might want to put the top up when the government why you workin for the man a it pays well but you may great mountain you're a comic you too well you very successful i know joe but you know ever since her bomber took over i mean you gave me a call these who look alive that we need a brother when the weather ass i got you got you said this is part of that whole thing finally like black lives matter just one let you it foger i understand that make sense look do what you gotta do in this crazy world and if a little whether modifications on the menu go well you know that i'm kick it i'm gettin summit a ski resort money from me
you know it s like a side hustle they say this winter is gonna be fuckin crazy the weather modification experts i'm that he had to let you know i'll nino you believe in an l menu because aerial you i think that it but but whether either you know it's funny about the weather like they they really dont know it at best it's an educated guess right so when they say somethin like there's a change in an ocean current like that's what i mean you his right like this warm water flow and thirty ocean where its normally cold and that's gonna bring more water in paper in it i get that on a large scale but they can never say ok it's going rain tuesday between noon and four o clock like that there are times when their sole wrong it's comically in any other job you be fired serbian bat far off and they like up lit missed heaping put compared like how they used to be it's fuckin amazed
why they use this look up at the sky and when their klaus running i would beg inside use it yeah though it though they knew a tornado was come and cause you could see the tornado coming like that was you know but but then you have the other things like in phoenix they have whether people write like what is your job from april through november in fini it yet can be hot the sunny hot back tomorrow like this there's nothing else in what in july to oh you ve gotta be monsoons gonna rain between three and four nance gonna be hot again yeah doesn't know whether in an ally in the same thing i mean over the summer is occasionally you get like a little bit of rain and i would add a rain like maybe four times as here yeah yeah yeah i did a thing we ve what's his name a comic sledge whether man fritz rogan fred rogan read nor fret fritz call com
its clear i get him confused with another guerrero yet as the sports guy or partners right yeah did it they would fritz common and one of his funniest jokes he said you think it's easy do and whether in early he said think of three hundred different ways to say partly cloudy and mourning sunny in the afternoon what gives you a lot of time right jokes yeah at having a gig for carmack now we push you get on tv if they let you plug gigs yeah being the ice house on tuesday commando i think he does well cause people see the name and like when they walk into the club d like that's the whether man you know it at me like that it's an instant recognition kind a gig yeah he's gotta keep at super clean right oh yeah he's he's nice if europe whether guy or a news guy or in future is just trade slightly outside the lines people looking to take you down but they still do it tonight that's what for
yeah yeah i always hear about the little small town whether god it was in some weird thing like i caught would a prostitute massage but you know that i did last night oh yeah no way when you know you're that guy right then you know you like gave that up you know what i mean like you you you're not allowed to do that you crazy you know you like well i'm gonna be on tv every day so i can't you know i gotta give up the hookers and blow and ran off right we have a dynamic comic here we can get busted yeah and decision if you have a new bit like i can't i can't williams exists i can't think of it i don't know what a comic daggers violence would be the only thing unforgivable he atomic but when it comes to like sex scandals or you know cheating your wife or drunk at the airport or whatever like four comic stella gamewell to make better use of italy this will have more more material
good care williams tat waves last special half the special was all this shit that he got arrested for over the last two yet an island and that that's a trip like i worked on this cruise line in a city a cat came but he had a gun on you just like you brought a gun to a cruise ship like why what did you expect to happen on a cruise ship like maybe soda you throw martha that's that's what freaked me about a crucial so we throw you off his honest unlike some guy through his wife off a girl on urban she went out to get a drink and they were like what it was like that the action the guy had through his wife falling over war the crocodile tears like ok did have a seat these are questions how how you and debbie how are you guys get along you know
i find a lot i duties charter cruises jazz cruises end you know after the crews the guy runs it'll tell somebody funny stories of what happened while we were at sea and on one crews newlyweds get into a fight the first night she threw all of his clothes overboard everything of his thrown overboard bring him the ship store any head away you know they sell like the little shorts polo shirts from truth laughing and he had where that all week will i hope he stayed whither why did i wouldn't you yeah i don't know really out of hell i'll run windows ruse little throwing overboard hope it didn't wrecked a beautiful future relationship beautiful matrimony beautiful nuptual no the lord's eyes you had to know that was in her though right you never know man i've i've met people that got mare and then immediately afterwards there checked came a nightmare real
never ever that may have heard i don't i've heard some things but not the light to that extent i would think they'd be flashes of psycho i or to that level on a normal bunny said when his girl got pregnant like she was oh irritable because she was pregnant but he said but then after the bay became like the whole once she realized tat he was never gonna leave because he loves the baby and loves loves you know having a family sheets start ordering them around yeah adam barkan orders and tell them what they can and cannot do now and it was like what the fuck happened to you like with the same people we have a baby now but in your mind and know the rules choose change within to reorganise and restructure this deal to sit down and others i was gonna go around register your mouth renegotiate and you have no negotiating power in this negotiation should keep threatened to take the can
where there was a big thing take two kiddo amateur moving my parents like all kinds of crazy shit man is immediately and he he went from being like the happiest guy i'm sorry she's perfect would get along so well we can have a bit many go there's gonna be amazing to farc dude onawandah too far like he was content stress down his eyes were darting around the room and by that i mean that's that's like the old days when you had to stay married right when you that that was our parents generals they stayed married they hated each other on the sand specifically but you i mean like rare divorce they just didn't do it they just stayed married they would like yeah we ve been married for fifty years comfortably like each other but we gotta stay mary could we made a vow i mean that that's how it was it was a generational pressure and now they say the opposite is true like give one bad day
that's enough edition of religious a thing to write you know a lot of people that we get a catholics especially did not want to get divorced was a big thing tat you will like be like an unforgivable sin yeah yeah when i was young there was a big deal man would someone talk about getting divorced from iran when i was a little kid like a lot it was like they would start bringing up the church now about the church doesn't want to get a divorce in the eyes of lord your marriage to work this out and the people pilot promises who you are when you meet say if you meet you twenty five you fall in love you get married and thirty who you aren't thirty is not who you are forty you know you are a different fuckin human being but you have a much better chance then then really young like i have a niece she's twenty six
and she's engage and i'm still waiting to see how this plays out cause he's twenty three and i'm just like through young like you know it cause just think who you are at twenty three to who you are good at thirty completely different tell you know it so it's light if you grow up together that's cool and you you know you go to rose bumps together but is too easy to be like a whole different person and i may i moved out here when i came away i i worked in aircraft i went aviation high school in new york lockheed aircraft discovered this high school trains airplane mechanics so they literally hired hundreds of us like moved to allay you got a job i knew more guys eighteen and nineteen who married there girlfriend cause i didn't want to like they were leaving home you don't owe me like i'm start life we're gonna get married consequently i knew more
guys who were divorced at twenty one out of married high school my my eight when i was eight in order every mariner really hot pursuit alone you think would last week a couple months at them she she was very nice girl but she moved crosstown not across down across a state like an hour and a half way and is also so sad condition goddamn solemnly over there if you want to get married and we'd be together out on it i will say without exaggeration without exaggeration of a hundred guys i knew married before they were twenty i only know too still married
i only know too that you know a hundred guys got married about our genetic they were yeah guys working out and it was like there for it like i got a job i got an apartment let me send from my girl from from new york let's get married geneva just do it it there are two things that we did on a regular basis go to weddings and bail guys out of jail because everybody must get mcdaniel so you know so it's like we would like i listen keep it do you i fund for whoever gets picked up this because in a fund we practically did we had a network you where we call like it so and so and you are right i got fifty bucks i and i got a hundred bucks whatever we get get about you how much does it cost to get yet again for do you are back then let's see that was early eighties probably about four five hundred bucks that's right and it wasn't yet back man it wasn't yet the big crime it is now like and around this is eighty eighty one eighty two gettin do you i was like a really bad ticket but they didn't you
you went to jail for one night but it wasn't like it is where you you know now it's it's a was of fact i taught comedy traffic school in what the late nineties and they said do you i then caught you ten thousand bucks by the time you paid for the fine and driving school in a lawyer and all of it it's gotta be a lot more than now published ten fifteen but it's a big crime now right here when i was in high school kid i want school with nice kid gonna juncture armand saint children never forget that then i think that's the worst part if you if you have that because you gotta live with that you know i mean i can't imagine it's bad enough if you have an accident but if you're drunk you have an accident or you kill your friend in the car some shit like that haven't deliberate that's gotta be worse than he was like
i don't think we're in the olden seventeen or eighteen at the time i think we have just learned how dr really and i heard about it heard the hostile and i knew that he had tried to commit suicide the hospital try to jump on the window the cops told him they came him always in the hospital bed and said you know you're a murderer now he's like what is your friend stead you're a murderer now and his eyes wide why don't you just freaked out he's just right and towards the window they grab them and down i was walking down the street in my neighborhood and he was walking towards me and i saw many saw me when we looked at each other and said i do man under some unknown forget the sadness the sad news agencies was oozing out of his body
this bastard they had this commercial and it was like the last text of people who died texting you ever see that one now but there was a guy i think who is it but publicist to web paris helpless on like that like one of those things pair sultans publicist drove off the fuck mountain in malibu you crazy whining roads and it was it means a text about his dog like ella well she so cute the dogs and how the fuck it up get a specific to the case but they found the due to the bottom of the cannon and then they deduced like others dumb fuck was was texting one single passenger mean a dog by himself none accident didn't collide with one officer above the well it's i don't know
there never never miata partners again people like this the saddest should leave her in a were ten minutes in everyone's dian what you don't you think when you ivan in your drunk especially you don't think it's going to happen to you that's that yet everyone link on everyone thinks it's someone else i can drive okay well that's when i does to you though i'll call has you convince it everything's gonna be fine yet your whole all of your perceptions off so you think it yet i'm all right which is like the exact opposite of pot when you smoke part you like i can't fucking dr do there's no way i can drive i drive when your high everything works like you can hit the brakes you can make turns but you're convinced that there's no i've waiting to be eliminated as exit the exits over there i gotta get over there farc our marijuana our drone alzheimer i couldn't believe i was driving like this is so bad this is so bad in
go on fifty five miles an hour stain online was very aware of everything looking laugh looking right look in the review mere but if i was drunk i've been like tat this again when when i see it loaded i could drive high i never liked be drunk as always felt that a control you know just let not like crazy out of control but sloppy out of control he walked terrible drug so especially the next morning when you wake up sober in jail in that's when its that's when it hits have you deal i'm for now not an awkward got arrested for possession wants us when i got sober wailing gotta for possession of cocaine doo doo doo doo endowed udo spent a nightingale and i tell you the happiest moment in court is when when you show up for your possession a cocaine and as a public defender
and i'm sweating like i don't know like what's gonna happen by this act because it was crack than you know i had sunlight and he's like you a camel again he said did any one time he's nice it oh what have you had it wasn't cocaine so you just here on dr and honest suspended licence out like guilty have suspended licence will you some we saw you some crown thank god i so delighted that while what was it who knows
i dont know what it was whatever it was when they tested it was not cocaine i'll tell you what it was it was the greatest day of my life jelly diaz we tell stories about given girls chopped up aspirants and then act like is the greatest coke they ve ever done their life yeah yeah people well so much of it is light psychological but would but with crack i mean when it hits you you know it but this one i listened joe i got busted it was the dumbest thing like i was on this street you know crack road whatever you you go to copyright so i had the rock and i knew the rock cause i had tried to smoking and melted nose like this is bullshit i go back like i'm looking for a guy right like what am i going to doing it do shit like i'm not hard you know it i mean i'm not a grip i'm just going back looking for a guy and a cop swooped on a street and they come in from both sides with cars you know like it's a whole thing
shut down whole street so i'd throat a rock added a window it hits the gutter above the window and lands in my lap when i had a rock am i laughed like i try to get you know you think i cut later a rock if you win open iraq egotist flick illegal bugger yeah that's what i thought we try to throw out the side window ass you know no drying worse yet outside off line i hit that gutter abuse that little rail above with no bounds right landed in my lap do does shit luck man right like a great locked in the long run but in a moment not good wow so tat was the moment you decided to quit when i hear that night in jail it was one of those things where like its wanted moments where you realize i'm not supposed to be here
i mean like liquid everything that had transpired in my life like i was still in aerospace then but you know licence airplane mechanic good job blah blah everything else it just hit me in that moment like this is not how it supposed to end because i you guys who had gone down that road you not at me like i knew guys who would do in time and shit like that end and for a lot of guys jail is just part of life you don't owe me like i go away for a couple years combat like i'm not that guy you know them and i didn't want to i didn't want to become that guy i had no aspiration when i was a kid that wanted to neighbours sons he was in attica and i will never forget this we were going somewhere state new york and we went to visit him and when you go in and that gate closes behind you'd like all of you ever been in a maximum security prison but when that gate its
johnny never forgot that sound for the rest my like oh they say whatever i do this aim i'm gonna end up what are you going to argue for rob armed robbery an armed robbery and ass he was a user habitual criminal aid spent the rest of his life like he was never out of jail for more than a year because once you get in that system then you're always get picked up for some so and the people that you the people you surround yourself with it becomes a pattern your constant around people that are doing things like tat it becomes normal that's it the address what it is it becomes normal then and once it becomes normal it's tough to crack so how do you when you first tried crack at speaking to crack twenty two
maybe twenty three to like that and will as a scenario laterally the first time i tried ok started out you know like just party and as a kid smoking we drink beer whatever in and get new a little cocaine here and there you know snort in it and then i had a friend and this had to be eighty four maybe eighty three whatever when people are still you know just starting to get in a free basin and crack and stuff like that and he hid it and he gave me a pipe and i hit it now is like holy shit mouselike it scared me i was like this is too good like i said man you better you better get off this shit this is gonna like you gonna lose everything while because the high was so good you know and i feel i describe it it's a rush it
overpowering rush of energy and i don't know like a light new bolt hitting you would know pain but but just like here your buzzing like your whole body is just you know i guess cocaine works on whatever the their receptors of good feelings in your eye forget what it don't always i untypical stoka me but there are like nerve during nerve endings that make you feel good and cocaine works unease end and crack is such such an intense hit it's like doing it all at once in as opposed to when you snort and you're gettin high a little here little now it's concentrated and it's a it's a rough
but it but it's beyond anything else it is it is instantly addicting it it because it's a russia that you ve never felt before anyone i've never shot up so i can't comparing the shooting drugs but it i had never felt anything like that and it literally scared me and then like a year and a half later is when i got into doing it myself you know what some other guys and it was like me and this other guy we kind of said we're going to watch each other you know what i mean so it's likely like he'll tell me when to stop or i'll tell him when you stand it actually works for as long as we were both in the same room hey you know
but then so you decided like centres for each year yet with cause you knew because you because we ve seen people we seem people get sprung and lose everything to first guy who who turned me onto it i watched him loose he had this incredibly beautiful girlfriend she dumped him then he lost his card and losses apartment like it literally crack will take you know that i mean richard priors jokes like that should true to pipe will tell you the day she didn't you and me i knew what you mean you don't need a bit you don't need a fuckin car i need you know i sold a crack car i sold a car i have four five hundred bucks in a date to smoke ben up how awfully smoking at the end i was i was daily has as much as often as i could get the money on our daily yeah as as off as i could get i still had a job almost to the end and i am
and i got laid off from my job so when i got my paycheck that's when it would start and it is always the same both like all right i'm only gone do like one april debts like spend a hundred fifty bucks that's gonna be it in so you get that and then you smoke that up you like i'd among on twenty more i am only going to twenty more among under twenty more n you'd you'd do that and then it vaccine oh it's all its next and it's all gone and monies gone and and i was like a sound not a criminal like i didn't come from that that's where my head was mine my next stop was ok how do i steal some more rip somebody off or whatever ma and yeah it's totally i'm but but
and the bad thing is once you get to that point you're not getting high anymore cause your brain so fried that the drugs not working like whatever the edit the nerves and need the brain cells and suffer fried so you smoke in it but you're not getting that that rush anymore you isn't it you want it but you can't find so the initial rush you get the first time we do it is just over welcoming and then everything else have the diminishes more number it's you know like like shot a song is never is good is the first time that a dead that's what they're nasa hoping we drug addiction would any drug it's so good that first time at you're chasing it and you can't get that feel and again i think that's a difference between attics and regular people like regular people like you get high and you're like ok i'm good you know i'm a high i'm engine
having a good time it is at that but but when you're an attic dislike you want that ultimate feeling that you got that one time and you will you will sacrifice everything they get it you have never fucked with coke i dont know the feelings it cog in general is an up drug is it up your energy and heightened sense of awareness that's why i like you get coke paranoia like i had coke bugs one cook bugs copeman crawling on you that's what use the fields like sums crawling in your skin and you scratch of a people of cut themselves open you know what i mean i could but but i've never forget that that was the weirdest thank it literally felt like dover bugs crawling out o my skin and under in our end but it does that like as it affects you're nervous system and it this is the extreme this is beaten this isn't d you know snort cocoa to check in the end
bathroom up a club you know that this is beyond that he did so this is beyond the fun part did snorting grab you as much as the smoking anna was smoking it we're ready yet snorting was the snorting was good but snorting is also hard on you eunos gets fucked up and you know in the in the eighties there were a lot of deviated septums and there were a lot of plastic surgeons put noses back together in the eighties so each through you knows is actually literally each three and i was one of that was true yet at centre membrane moves away and you know this becomes one big nostril and by better for cardio yet what ego i used to work out a culture and work out of the twenty four jim if i wouldn't in shape my heart would have exploded passionate i used to do what you do it for the rest we are caught up in a new start left him and you know how it is you get that pomp and now you like you just feel like you can fuckin explode you know
my i'm sure my heart was doing a hundred fifty beat a minute later you your coat uplifting waits oh yeah yeah now and that was one of the reasons i think that i was able to hide it cause i didn't look like a crack aid because i didn't lose weight cause i gotta looked up and worked out of sorts two i ate one i wasn't on it did meet when i was on it but when i was and on it so what are you doing in everyday yeah yeah by well every day is as low as i had the money the money would run out so if i get paid thursday every day lasted till set they may be sunday and then you just get a little chip here in our little piece but nothing keep your high all day so i mean i i did i did a lot to hide it in i led this dual lifelike i work during the day and
i was the airplane mechanic and when i got off work i just lock myself up at my apartment did cope why right now i live like that for my life was fully like that for a little over a year but did but the worst part the last two years was when we what it was it was bad so you went crazy for a year or you just do we do can't you try to calm your heart you drink because first of all you u torch was a little cotton ball dipped in the one fifty one room ok so you had one fifty one s are you a drink that cause you have it and you drink torch yeah and in other words like you did you dont cook crack would a lighter you know i hate given crack
listen and please don't apologize brilliant idea i want now you don't hold you don't hold a lighter you need a torch need like a hot or flame so you would take i'm trying to remember how we did it can't remember what you dipped into rum and its great that i dont remember because i remembered a screen was this shore boy which was like a steel wool but no soap in it that's what you used as a screen and a pipe but date i forget how i did the torch but anyway to torture you would dip it into one fifty one rum and like that because that was a hotter flame than using a lighter won't but about those oil yet eight they came out with those they came out with a torch lighters later but you knew certain crackhead things that you like when you are at a crackhead liquor store you know it
the base you could settle by stuff they sold like they were his hands shore boy scrubbed rushes and they would have like one fifty one wrong but like an in half pilots in a know who's buying a half pint of one fifty want you know i mean and that you get big lighters you get there pack of five because you'd go through lighters all the time just you did but that was that was sit that was the life but it was the it was the missile rush men rush was like an end once you hid it once you hit that then nothing else matters you know i mean like it in other words once you got that first hit then you didn't care about and that's that's why you hear about those stories about people you know leave and i mean the tragic stuff leaving their kid in the car while they are in a cow sir you know the guy who never comes home or whatever because you're out of your mind you u it took over there was there was a very rarely you come across a social crack use
act dominated life work what use what you saw happen chris rock in new york city that was it that was real and that's how it would how it would take you over it's amazing you kicked it just from one arrest well again at one arrest what boy you gotta remember you hey yourself why are you doing you not enjoying it you know you're you're in a place cause you know you're fucking up you know i mean i mean like in my case i'm not going up my families in new york where i grew up not going home to visit anybody i'm not goin home on any holidays i am my last thanksgiving now and i'm invited to at least two three friends and families you know come over thanks given dinner to sit at its made a pipe and an eye dennys take out thanksgiving dinner i mean and you sit there and you know that that that's what fucks with you you know and you like well
more hit and animal go to you know so insult house i'm gonna make it out the house did it and you don't and enlightened and this is every week and it's in your mind like i just did it again i did show up for this i didn't show for data i'm missing work on whatever i'm not the bills aren't paid you know i went through bankruptcy the whole bit so you know your destroy in your life and so there you rest was just like the date when it all came to a head you know to make as it now i'm just in jail by myself sitting and van eyes jail would nothing but nothing but my thoughts of this is how this is what i did you say that you need a rock bottom right yeah it's different fur it's different for everybody but you hit that bottom and the only thing i remembered after that when i went to rehab was i never want to feel like bad again
whatever whatever happens in my life i don't want to feel like that again while so bad timing onto rehab that's a good rock bottom now to good rock bottom story to its real rock bottom but when it comes to rehab if i had walked out at a house last comic standing into celebrity rehab how fuckin famous would i be now joe prefects yeah i blew it time and time again we started to understand what that that's the funny thing in its literally one of those cases where the worst thing in your life leads to the best thing in your life so i go to rehab when you're in red i outpatient so you're in these meetings in this psychologists and whatever and so this horse was in court appointed this was like your own decision my thing yet cause i had gone when i had my job i tried rehab once and i didn't make it cause i didn't give a shit you know so i went back to the same place and they let me back and so for our
the day you're doing the psychology thing in the meetings and whatever else and this woman came in and she she was from the people who are in recovery go to rehab and i tell people like this is how it works this is what it's like blah blah blah so she was heart is in all our members use hot as hell and she was brought new york right so so after she talks i make my move you know cause i'm sober like three fuckin days but she said listen i'm married but a lot of women like me to go to a place called studio twelve and studio twelve was a rehab for the crew soda stars went to betty ford but the crew bed they electricians the lighting guys the make up artist the clothes they all went to this place called studio twelve and that's where she was from so she took me over there and i met these guys and i started going to meetings air and i got that's where i got sobered of those were two guys who help
me who showed me who as you know sponsored me everything else but they were also they were in entertainment business and and i always had a sense of humor i could make people laugh but i had never thought about it cause if you're not like you know i grew up in blue collar home and you you grow up you go to school you get a job like entertain showbiz is nowhere on the radar that's somethin other people do and you watch on tv but now i know guys who were in it i know people who are doing it and i was teaching aerospace and making people laugh and shit like that and i said i be a comic and my a sponsor was like man go for try it in an i literally did one it owes writing classes and i did the five minute graduation hooked and from then on that that's how my comedy career started so was it a sandy short class the news a guy named lehne austria which he used to write or rich jenny woe and he was
he was in somewhere in santa monica day what they used to be a theatre in santa monica where they used to do i forget it was a comedy central half hour comedy thing i forget what it was called but but anyway he used to work there and that's where he did the class so i did the i did his six week writing class and a five minute graduation show and just absolutely knew it like i was like this is what i'm going to do like i'm never going to fix an airplane again i'm doing this and and then you know that's how it started then it was just open mics and grinding and nothing else and i know a lot of jews who got into it because they would go to a and then you have those meetings
in the meetings and they would tell funny stories about shit they did when they were fucked up yeah i mean i got laughs and meetings but it was it was almost unintentional it was just like i'm telling a story but it's coming out funny like i'm not trying to be funny right it just comes out that cause you know how it is if you have a sense of humor when you tell a story it's gonna be funny i didn't know what i was doing in autumn it was just i had this sense of humour and what recovery did it changed my sense of humour from like this this anger belittling ribbon on people thing to jokes like amin on a joke right now it's funny like instead of being an attack so before when you're doing coke it was like ass if like oh yeah angry at ever gave yet this guy like you because you're paranoid and your for an open and when you do talk to people or whatever you just kind of separate from it and but anyway
yes i would add that literally it had i not gotten sober i wouldn't have become a comic i dont think jamie key thrust tea on what the fuck is going on my throat but i know that people listening this public wished a fork in clear and you can't can help a folks i think it might might have gone little heavy with the grass fed butter in today's coffee maybe that's it but never tried the button coffee for everyone's art is better than show i try some you might stop fleming up to otto maybe some i mean but for me when i was start now when i was an open micro there was a lot of guys there's a guy named day fitzgerald was a really funny guy and he was ages whole life huge is doing blow and party in and drinking and fuck it up and then he finally got himself cleaned up darted gonna meetings and then started making people laugh at these meetings
and he was he was a good writer manic funny comic and then he got sick get sick one of diana answer here you d better he would have been a big comic it would have made it here we had a real gets into humours of funny dude but just a toll on his body years and years of just jack and hit hard i got it i have friends who that's happened to mainly guys who shot drugs who like gave em up and then twenty years later hepsey or something like that like some some layton result from shooting drugs and twentys destroys their body in it fifties yet and have seen ones a real pomp real common one for gaza do heroin yeah that was what the tommy we pay manderson accusation right there was yet always because eight they get tattoos together with the same needle to show their love whose whose attached to artists it doesn't someone who loves hepsey
i don't know a tattoo like i know tat to artists like if you asked a blue they'd be no like i know i know i am glad that are either right it is this is this is a real procedure you know it's funny that you said that you you grew up in a blue collar house in that you didn't know like entertain was never on the radar khazar i think the case for a lot of people that once around someone like when you around those people that will work in show business like oh these it is regularly boy this is yeah yeah it's real ituraea less toxic with a lot of things is a means absolutely we were talking about this the other day we're talking about race car drivers right because a lot of drivers their kids their father was a race car drive so too them that's normal you know what i mean like but but to most people the idea of driving a car two hundred fifty
two hundred thousand hours yadda mine ran but like a few group but if your dad did it then you stuck i've been go carts when you like three years old yeah you know what i mean an you grow up and you do it and it's you never think about like this is unusual you see that movie with thor with fire rush rush go forever wholly renault is nato bastard i love this a formula one remaining you that's the real racing wretched is is nick i mean it's a whole different world but it states like so cool to be one of those guys like the world champion out a sky louis hamilton out of angli like this guy makes thirty million dollars a year he's got a private jet i think his girlfriend was like the leader at a spy girls or something like that for a while you know what i mean and he he flies is private jet to malibu to see his girl brennan innate they always show em like hanging out at some award
show like he'd he knows every body there are like him he's in the hamptons with jamie like hell you like better that's how you supposed to school at i'm training all that light this guy's live in life you know like thirty years old and new kickin inhabitants with jamie foxen banging the leader despised fuck yeah that's that's a world champion that's right is this emotion ass car bull shit this that you drink and pr and yet the nascar thing i mean i understand the people enjoy it i'll bet it's fun is hell but that whole go and left i can't i can what's a race we only go left i can't watch i couldn't image miles of leftovers turnin live a girl there too the barbette yen and a democrat coming either other girls jamie maybe one earlier but the knock on danica patrick and it is true like she ain't gonna win and she has an added
about a slight she did allah go daddy you noted bikini stuff innocent at an end she's like a lady a treat me like a girl i can sell em but cainy pictures like you i don't think he's anything you know people will say there's something that led the like lessons a girl to sell our bikini something that i think that is total bullshit cook a few idle might take on a girl's body like when a guy a hot body like is for a guy that is the most desirable thing to look out on the planet when you see a girl like that it has like jennifer lopez's ass you know little thin waste and big ass like good like there was a girl in line to take pictures with us after the show the house both in houston and me any edwards talked about her every twenty minutes for the rest the weekend oh yeah do they know
this waste legos like your arm and then came out it was insane it was insane and we would be we will be in the car and i would go tat its steam cylinder real body it didn't seem like a real body like what the fuck man i'm not now in her for doing it this is my thing don't do it and then complain when granting talk about it you don't owe me like riot like in other words jennifer lopez can ever say are you looking at my ass well jane you climb jail oh you called and said look at that ass and i'm just plain along a lot of them they start out they start out trying to sell it that way and then they want to be taken seriously right that does happen but come on you can still we take it seriously if you're in your underwear who gives a shit yeah you just admit that that's what you're sellen like you're dead already you it's not all eu but its party that was you know it story i love they went to the women beach volleyball players
nay nay said you know you don't have to wear bikini you can change the uniform and all of them have no no no no no wait where wherein the buccaneers they knew like yet we want people to work shut down in it and murray if we weren't sweats nobody's watchin beach volleyball i remember not when i first i dont comedies personally i always was like real nervous about people see in the fact that i had muscles seen the fact that i worked out because i was felt like that working out and comedy word they just didn't go together there is no way you couldn't you could now be could be built right and you stand up in our dynamic guys like you dude nicht apollo was the first one year i meant nicht parliament boston does back when he was young use play football players big giant neck fuckin they'll kill him this bullshit i have loses be funny hide it early
my career i used to acknowledge it i've stopped even acknowledging it but it's always funny to me what you'd like man if they don't laugh you can just beat him up that's my sex strategy tat we do accept is absolutely what i was gonna do cause i'm a fucking viking and i'm just gonna jump into the crowd and start beaten shit out it's funny the idea that somehow or another like a person whose fit or you have a good body that debt precludes you from being smart like that's a big thing with girls i give a girls a hot body thinks gotta be a fuckin idiot again in instantaneously you see grown a beginning a pizza bikini with a nice body percent of the population wants a writer off because it's an easy ride for her because of you could we that if you are built like that the odds that you're doing the work the odds really study in shit and reading shit and paying attention and really analyzing your thoughts to objective and correcting mistakes probably not
cause you got dick thrown at you like javelins all day long you does dodge and dare to mean a girl like that it's easy to rest on our laurels but it does mean that that to judge them on them if you ve met enough people in your life you realize that there are some really high checks are smart fuck yeah confusing definitely but they're out there but it but it happens it's it's they say and i found this to be true that the most is women are the ones who got hot after high school they daily belie someday yet because they head do they had a person quality and they were smart or does it and then they hit the twenties and a kind of figured out how all of parts come together and became like holy shit hot but they still have they develop that personality owed ever whereas if you're born hot and you just look great all your life it i've met i've met women like this that they have no clue like they really think life is that easy for everyone right like that
it's like you understand like everyone like some people have to wait in line for ship love is some people like it it's no knock against them it's like you know you certain people wind birth lottery you'd you just what like michael jordan ability to fly yeah michael jordan is a perfect example me michael jordan didn't you mixed highschool team like road and he failed like a lot and then come obsessed became obsessed mars ass an air but then he also have in the growth of six seven with the dumping ability you don't i mean it's like that was that kate that help but yeah it's it's rate when you do all that but you still have to have i think i have sometimes business comics you know i've always thought dave chapelle had an unfair advantage cause they the looked funny when he came out and about
we d i don't mean that as a knock i mean like when you see him on stage before he opened his mouth you like other guys this guy looks funny it's gonna be fun you know joey's like joey started talking you're like disguise hilarious like you because you think jellied joey's one of those guys you you'd like rocky look ports another one where you think they're play an account after an you find out notice is really him yeah he's really that guy so it makes it even plantier enjoys a huge cartoon me who just blocked islands as soon as you walk on stage people start laugh and these are smile and what the fuck skype and do it for the rest i loved he's my feet but of all time i think he's a fine he's got its ever lived a really do i don't think there's anybody any funnier because i think if look at comedy you get stand comedy i really think that way right now we're in the golden age i don't think does everyone more funny comics i think that because of the arabian alex because the internet like joey
probably wouldn't ever made it on television and they wouldn't gotten a shot on tonight show back the day now you get to find out how funny they really are from pike ass any aid to go see them do stand up and i think if you look like all the great like if you go back in time comedy gets better over the years like the greatest of all time like the only richard prior is he's the one guy that like i'll go back and listened to his old stuff and it still really funny it's still really funny but like you go back and was in lenny bruce booth tardy listen to me s not really funny anymore i think carlin was always funny once he once he got past that hippy whether man thing once he put that down carlin became two states i mean the observations he made where larry's and and cause vienna you know obviously everything else
what causes that have created cause but he still make air was it was up he was a beast like you listener noah's ark and summit at old shit lives like june that was great like it would still be you know we had this argument when somebody threw it out they said of causing started today would he have made it was like fuck eighty eight for sure you know that did the date they all would have adjusted to the new level of comedy then of comedies hire people expect more just think entire now here you know i just think that as i'm goes on things get better but all the guys that i've ever seen and i saw kennison live us i work with prior at the end a bunch of times but the calm restore but he wasn't really prior anymore he would be real sick and he was in a wheelchair the time these they would literally carry him chewy from the key
mr m of the two with fuck your name martinez with the name anyone ignored carry her carry him their carry rubric her husband would carry richard prior through the audience and set him down and they crack the microphone about real loud cause you get he could barely talk anymore medication any would drink we would drank any would talk just wasn't good and we said so but i but i did get just see him when i was younger asylum in alarm the sunset strip i saw the movies and i saw prior i saw carlin live a few times no one has ever made me laugh like joe it is that guy's on when he's on and
faces read any some fuckin scream and gone craig i used i dont think does anybody better i think he's the funny i think like overall he's a funny guy that's ever loved i got to get to work with carlin and i'm cause we never got to work with him but i never got to meet prior with only one last summer i work with rickles railing rickles is he's in his late eighties and it's the same thing like he's off stage have meant a wheelchair he can walk but it's they help him get around in a bring em out and he sits at a piano and a minute delights hit he's fucking what i wanted a highlights in my life i got it on video is backstage rickles was ribbon on me you're a fucking cried necks out six nine six danny could kill somebody got you can catch him this weekend at san quentin probably radicalism alonzo
it took a white man's name so he's not in jail just shit this is rather inclined to bear and all you can do is sit there fuckin laugh jeff ross told me work with them to do so the same some once he once this later on and mike phones on company i've it's out it was great to what end those things like it it's that's a video have forever light yet how is a night rickles ripped on me so but he had he yelled at me once magna great fuckin buddy hackett story really yeah i am doing a benefit and robin williams was presenting buddy hackett with this award so i'm outside i was lucky it was i was on a show how an essay shoemaker was on the show and anyway so i'm just outside this when i still smoke from having to cigarettes or buddy hack it once not re i've never met him i don't know anybody it's right after dawn i miss did not be headed hosting rights
he comes up to his idea i know i know you gonna let me have it right cause you black comics when it comes to being funny i mean the college you colored guys i just hello you when you negro start she keeps currently has keeps saying the same thing with different words and i am working cracking up is it lay you don't even know but it was great it was great those those guys were they have thing you know they haven't i had a different time and they had a embroidery and and when they were when they warrant on tv or on screen aware that they had no filter light ages did that's why he was doing that because you know back in the day that's what you do what you did but you did they fucked around each other and they those guys in even have common clubs those guys had started off on variety shows yet where they feel like it
answer a band aid be like the m c and they'd have to come out and you know shocking jive and they would m c strip clubs and jazz clubs ramses chocolate now i did want i did a jack in jail strickland in womb socket wrote a jack in june that guy goes out of us out it was a true sure there was no one in the audience and there was maybe like no no bullshit like six people the audience spread out like to hear one we're there three over there it was so bad that i can use have bombed because there was no response it was it didn't feel like a bombing fellow date they weren't even acknowledging that i was alive it was strangers thing ever and then this guy and this girl who are both equally unattractive the guy would dance first i remember who danced first guire the girl but there are both disgusting and they both a terrible tattoos the guy was covers tattoos up like bandanas on his arm
i like the way described it on her ass it look like someone tried to chew it into her ass like that you bid in the two handed got the ink on your teeth and try to choose a snake into her ass that's how bad the tattoo worked it was it was one of those moments where i go while never gonna forget this place i did have a moment i worked with the chip and nails guys want cycle this is hosting a stringent internalizing chip now nodded out i wouldn t where it was some little casino you know one of those i did a road casinos about an hour and a half north the sacramento so we're in the middle of farm country and you know it s just like ok here's a casino for no reason had been fifteen hundred farmers wives chicks in this crowd waitin for the chip and nails eyes right side there so i'm out therefore about maybe twelve seconds before
take it off and it just of wonders to scream and right so so whatever so i didn't i didn't even do jokes i just yelled back adam and and some men and i would like open a but no my shirt but the everything was like it was almost like they weren't in on it they were trying to fuck the chippendale guys in the ability of guys life is like one like it's a lottery being defined which one it is it's a straight guy any other thing was these guys were kids they were like you and i guess it's a chip and nails road crew it's not like the main guys the he's gaza like twenty twenty two twenty three and these women are like in a fifties you know i was like this and badly the monsters farmers wives monsters scream cigarette breath dragons when i was a kid i had to
and that were males trappers of almost an older guys to work out that airport worked out the gmo worked out and one of was an older guy one of the younger and other guy it was was real fuckin where just real weird i get underwear that was elephant trunk and his dick would go the trunk is any hand like little ears in our own as very fuckin strange you joe ground but she got real one day when we're all our i'll hang around you talkin about girls and in all go to this bad any guy was you know it's pretty building girls they do you know they go to these the party bachelor at parties need danced for these girls the girls get about get married she ones absolved of my dick it's crazy we're all central laugh and i go you have dance for guys and you get to hear pin drop and he looks at me and i am looking into his soul manning's yeah yeah but i hate it
who is the weirdest moment i'll never forget that moment look in his eyes a him saying yes i hate it when you dance for guys what's that like and then everybody like we're what's that life is finally someone asked finally someone asked but the dude was his younger guys young put a written to that i swore got with and die he wound up doing a lot of dancing for deeds he went up dancer produce i think he told me let dude suck my dick to sicily as long as i'm not doing anything man who do want to give me a thousand dollars suck my dick and like why yes i'll say it's lobby is this money but i don't believe you didn't do anything either you know what jobs in areas such as the ok well ten thousand if you suck mind well hey you here it's not gonna take long rising would you believe they gonna say you so thick whether you suck bigger nazi mines will make pick pick up ten grand
you're already in the neighborhood when a guy suckin you dick you're already and narrow you might want to suck his deck and make the real money don't try to think i'm trying to think what comedy related like if there's a comedy gig that's that were you like phuket yellow a member here we don't have there's no com does no one nighter where you wait is a possibility if you suck a guy's dick unless you're gay dinnah lesser gate and trying to hook up if you try and now i'm talking about last us if this happens yeah yeah nor is there a gig for checks where they want up you know for czech comics yeah i it i don't know what it's it's different vote for women the right they bear tat go on get dana their whole energy is different they get sad dead dead there thermal energy is a boy dick dana and don't like i don't want dick
once you show me a dick don't need bring dogs with them to bring a little dog lotta mebbe dogs and little tiny dog the weirdest thing i heard after we did last comic we were torn this net and tammy pass could tell he said she went to a gig and a guy had a life size cut out of her then he brought to the gate and he wanted her decide how fucking weird would that moment be that's rough is tammy still live in the middle of nowhere should pennsylvania sunderland yes she's in pennsylvania and she's doing good she sooner you know he's doing great withstand a bracket he's doing great would stand up she's always hearted jenny mccarthy's tour and and she's doing her own gigs that's right a radio show to right yeah got a serious i'm radio tommy's always cool level he's been we have only two we had a good time when we did show who else is doing
what season when you're out and seasons two and three you aren't doesn't yet well we ll agree was three was the kind of thrown together season when they took comics from season one and put him against comics from season to do so but i did it with half run gary gomin todd glass kathleen madigan tammy corey holcomb aunt that's a good crew up to aunt and is the reason why i got five only a hack it i know i know week we know that and kind member what's his name j london ah j j london to london fine dude manages funny but he's a boy you talk about a guy was a mess i'm crazy we re london was sellen american flags after nine eleven that's what he's doing for eleven beer and i work with them the first gig then on television in nineteen ninety there was a two or three i did and up spotlight in new york and it wasn't me
me in jail london a couple other people and jane our friends from the new yorker magazine and then color like faded away and then it came to allay and in two thousand one he was basically like almost homeless yeah yeah before you did last common he was the only guy who stood in line on last comic and made it to the final show why so he went through the whole life went through the whole anguish and wait outside but i gave my best j london moment we were wherein the house and it was a game have foreign had called it ten out of you ever heard of this but the group of people and you start telling facts about yourselves self starting from the most knock you with spain that's number ten like i might say in my name's alonzo from new york city and you go around their number nine you you know i had my first girlfriend at eighteen o what have you know i mean like ear you go number six
de london sometimes i get mad at myself and i rip pubic hairs out would pliers and has like that's your fuckin six after above like that's a number sake what what the fuck do i like that's six any serious absolutely so i would like mad at himself like what is your what is number out i think we got to number two was no amount of himself for who knows who know j jays a sweetheart but but definitely a tortured solar lotta demons it was was fascinating watching him become famous because knowing amp as long as i knew him and then for for a small window of a year or so after last comic standing he was really well known low absolutely people loved yeah yeah we weren't there are people love him he would people come up to him at the store can i get a picture of you d like me you wanna pitch with me like he was like like genuinely confer
used here he never should however shorted out he was a guy who needed someone to take care of you need a manager he needed manhattan would handle and take care of which you are welcome to get em booked just like having him manages career on his own did you ever have a manager he was with the very briefly exactly you never have a manager that we are now hated with him for a while me him and gary gorman toward for about six months railing and dumb me in goma would call it london idas will you just get tired of j like love a man i can't do it anymore you know but he may amy somebody help most fucked up because it was it's one of those cases where somebody worked with him he could a sustained in he's a guy who could just come in and do ten minute guess spots forever yeah
and people would love him while he opened up for lui recently and allay at the calmly store when lose warming up for his stand up special gift that he found there and he really funny man is got some great one liar he's got some killer my girlfriend at crabs i bought a stocking language you i'll be we would like to move the microphone only when a joke to go well he's the only guy know who could honestly do the same joke twice innocent in one set because he forgot and the crowd laugh because everyone knew lacking honestly forgotten he's already told that joke air they were all non sequiturs like one after the other didn t make sense the body hackers or if he didn't hair was buddy hackett and in munich and i were hosting we were the yeah the judges for seasonal last conniston and aunt ants kalen right
great and if he does i could george carlin joke does a joke from a movie does all the sheds a compliment him say here we got great energy deliveries awesome really got a lot of in this latter charisma but i've seen those jokes like those joe like you did a joke from a movie the movie boy the room in which i guess they stole from jim david comic in new york the it was you know they take your gaze upon him in ireland they did it's called manhattan you say that we live in a way like come on bitch studying joke right now like this is that doesn't make any sense here but when i said that in i said look a comic is supposed to be when you're on stage it will be your point of view like that's what i really want to go say they once he hears the world through europe bunny handkerchiefs start screaming at me i never heard those jobs before you fuckin ass to scream and amy because all those old vaudeville dude i would ask the us still all of em
they are would steal each other shit and they will go from the town and you know they would do jokes to jews walk no bar and then they would have like a little thing that they would piece together because no one in television backed and they never did ashes and nobody knew nobody knew anything you just had a bunch of gangs it was like your toolbars so you'd bring with union go and do it and this the mean at we all knew that everyone knew that comics any talk to arise there were alive then they would always talk about that like the milton birthing was the classic one right milborough stalled everybody shares but he just i just struck cord and he was screaming i met you fuck and how to scream and who had gloves on and i remembered trying to figure out what i was gonna do like among a yell back it but all his fuckin a buddy a hacker well he's like eighty seven years old and means of studies on death's door and he's a legend no it's a comedy leginn and you know screaming i mean and i no wise criminal me am i
say listen you're just pissed off because your entire crystal that's what you guys did you guys ask you do you weren't you would stand up was dennis not stand up now this is what this is all in my mind and i can say that i just can't say it is not my place i'll be crucified so decide just eat it i'm going to say a word so sit there why screaming at me and i'm looking at him and also a word and i think to myself like to do the right that it should then fuck and bury came over hope i've never like he doesn't like me i don't like him and he was up these were the shout it was that weird controversy we're all the people that got on the show even though we didn't vote forum right i'm getting in because bury was managing them it was a disaster because he was producing these show and managing people that we're gonna show it was fuckin gross that was when drew carry and brett butler walked off the shine the agencies and pilot amory i was there to talk that will do that and so i decided i go
say anything amazon and bury him come came over me you know you're such a professional you just you dumped really amazed that you just and on the way you did that was beautiful you just is handled it per frankly thanks great i guess i'm thinking to myself the auditing and myself to incidentally to the wrong thing if barry comes over it tells me that so i you know i just over and in martinique was like you made those jokes yours sugar those a yacht ok now you made him yours you made em yours so fuckin george carling determine what he's doing the joke about george carlin talking about how fighters fight for a person they wear a belt that's a goddamn jordan carlin bit doing this and it's gonna do not television like you know it yours what's happening here and also i let it happen and dumb two weeks later buddy hack it's dead two weeks so his health was so fragile that
screaming at me at that moment if i screamed back at him he could have died on that show me that's how fragile as health was mean he was dead i want to say two weeks i might be wrong but it was no more than two months and he was dead and so i was thinking like if i yielded him their follow you you can't win made worse foam his heart thing explodes joel killed buddy haggard yellow literally kid the limited when tell them and this was all i want to say this is our pre them and see a thing too as it was right when was the last comic standing what year of five yes oral so this was precursor them and see a thing was like two thousand seven well what happened with bread drew carry and i always felt that they set them up you know what kind of set them up for this happens so we're doing it the semi finals in vegas right this twenty of us there and ten of us are going to go forward into
house and do the shell so it came down to i think it was it was dan matter men and somebody else it was between two of em and matter minute had a killer set my love madame anatomists really funny but i think the bay didn't see everything that led up to that in other words we had done or additions in our various cities we had done new york and they had us do some shit backstage like we had a gambling night we had a party and dan doesn't really interact legates you know a lot of comics username yourself like iran it's a thing i think all of that made a difference in them picking but they had a brent andrew under the impression that they were gonna pick the ten they went cause like one of the other comics they picked wasn't gonna get him cause they did the same set at both auditions in a kill you for that they would like look you don't have to different three minutes sets
no you're not ready for the show whatever you know so i felt they set bread could i remember one brick got pissed and got about the chair and walked up because we all knew that they weren't making the final decision they would like celebrity judges but they weren't gonna do you know what i mean why wasn't do aren't really judging didn't write you into consideration all right we'll producers decision which is why i was so frustrating yet people when they found other barriers managing people yet tell them one thing i can say when all i went down i had no connection with anybody could seconds barry and at some and then not ros bobbin and brought from tonight show they had had a management company before they were scouts but tonight show and i think one or two at a comics had been with their management company back but i was
now my history i got to know where no one poland for me here right but then i went back a few years later season five and i was wondering judges and so now money other side at a table and i to say i don't know how it was when you did it they didn't interfere with out like they didn't tell us who they wanted you i mean like they didn't really the only thing they would tell us if somebody did that act before you know in other words like they d tried out with it in five and now they're back and oh six wouldn't blame act no and in there were a couple of times i never forget there was this one this chick had been like miss new jersey or something like that like choose a beauty queen and she was hot as hell not funny at all but just fuckin amazing too low right so they were like our gallagher in the house i gotta presently like you got a passer you gotta bring her back to the nato additional we're like like no like it's not gonna yeah
we brought him everywhere in gotham in new york man it was the most awkward silence like her act it was like this monologue and just a crowd was just like it's where it's not even bombing with it look on your face right now i don't know if there's a camera people if you saw two face joseph method that was the whole year lotta beautiful you to hair look no one is always stand i wanted those i have no idea amazing she got good really good good have maybe if i hadn't things i think she would have she'd been plucked into the actress pool if she was funny at all in even remotely decent yeah yeah yeah they didn't tell us who they want and who they didn't but it was real obvious when we all like we would talk about it like before buddy got mad at me in i like did you guys pick them how did
this guy get through like it was it was there was a conversation we're trying to figure out how someone got through that we didn't pick it had none of us back moaning didn't pick em but it was only those talking buddy thank moaning pick him and i didn't pick up my go you didn't pick a man and pick em right because of how this guy get through it doesn't make any sense and then there was some there was the brett butler thing and then we read that the the judges word really just sort of four show and that really is the producers decision who to get on and knock out the mentally ultimately it was because part of it like i was talking with j k pianosa about cause cape he was working on the show he rang for j rat and k pcs that you know well part of it is you gotta have balance in comics right so you can't have like all white guys are all black eyes or his light bay they had an idea of how many slots cause he told me to thing when
the season i went all corey holcomb he said look they only got to be one black comic book but you and corey were both so funny and so completely different that they were just like yeah bring em both on and in when it came down to there were six of us and ff gonna be five finalists right at me inquiry were both still in a running and we would like i'm one of us hang i'll make an angle be two brothers in a final five on it they're just ain't gonna happen lariata whichever one of us makes it we you know we will back the other one you know could we know we ve been how does that doesn't make any sense if you guys were to best it should be a possibility yet as is now the i'm about to show its but it's not just that show you don't owe me like that how tv works like you you know i've always say that like when people talk about discrimination in tv is definitely discrimination and tv but a lot of it but one or two colors they see is green
you know i mean and somebody shit they do like when they do stereotype like we were talking about it earlier you know like by at night i was one doktor can show is about sir right i fuckin nail bouncer aright i've been about iran more sitcoms in more movie if i could i get mad and say well you know i can play a professor i could have a damn sure could play bouncer you know right and it's like that's how tv worker i like every hot blonde is dumb on tv and every sitcom dad is a bumbling eddie you know and it it's like that's that's how d that's how they played a game so you can get mad at it to an extent and i understood like like be emmy speech that by allah davis made like i get that like she's like if we had more opportunities there would be more black actresses like me in it and i never want to insult people who act on that level by
lumping myself in that category like i'm not an actor like i am i love playing about sir it's easy and i get health insurance you know but as a common europe professional calm again a jet professional calm again the idea that you you would have you in court holcomb whose also a legit professional comical areas do you too these guys it is not possible to get it to the finest that's fuck it i was possible but we kind of new in new allowing new who you like this this european will politically w b memory we believe w b listen mr have let me i'll call you got business to take care of well is it half runs funding have franzl area and after all it does settled like we were all cool with it you know do i like it was it was what it was an end it was a good shot peril of us but i will
liked it better than men i do now i think the show was better when you had all the reality in all that cause i think what do i do now now it's just straight stand up rail link they just yeah it's like they just get up and do stand up against each other in america votes at america don't even of america votes or i don't even know how to do it now because you know and we did it they didn't have twitter and shit like that crazy we online money lying at it when we had my space i had a girlfriend who get mad at me because it things chicks would post on myspace after they saw me on tv lands look like i got no control over this uruguay now do you think other people first yes she never she was never able to adjust to tv but you know we'd be did you not tv is like pretty women are like a decade
on tv and i mean they're always around and whenever it a vent does hot six dared nobody really knows they got there you know what i mean i don't know who invited them a right but they're just here but dead but that's how it is it's it's always like that and she was never comfortable with that now is like look at they're gonna fuck anybody they're gonna fuck a producer like they know they know how to game where say no daily gonna get so far fuckin a winner of last comic staff that inadequate that's not a career you might be a step though i might be a stepping stone i saw at best rock the galileo project i might be able to get you back stage where you can meet somebody you know but yes she never and she was hot you know but she never banana couldn't couldn't get used to it there is there's some of those things some of those events where they bring in girls new girls that would get hired they would literally get higher they get paid like a thousand bucks to go to these
events in parties and mingle because they wanted just be right veiled i'm sorry it's just fill would ha checks but did not like ice oecd they're not real they just here lay not real their real people who should i have a life and stuff but in this atmosphere there he had to make this room look good they're here there are also here they also here to find some sort of producer that might be able to take care of them is a lot of that god bless com kayo these bless him if you you know they find that to make it work some chubby jewish dude and just start work in them a person it my friend and one of my favorite comics matt kazanovitch i got my own problems we may be on the road we say that a hundred whenever you read seminary we're like some guy you know tornado blue is trailer away in his dog i met a year ago yeah you can concentrate on other people's problems wait too long and you get lost it lose yourself it's she's to eat that that's the other thing about social
it is too easy to get caught up a nonsense i really shouldn't affect you at all yet and and some people do more than like like it unreasonable like ok we can't save everyone from everything like in a perfect world we could but no twelve earlier than any united the same way would hollywood and in show business like you you have to remember this shit i ain't real no it is on some level but a lot of it is just glamorous and a treat you good and i love you and i i i think i think what helped me was the fact that i worked in a real world before i got to this yeah cause i remember my first job i was a truck driver for the show power agers footage ketchup i'd never worked on tv and i didn't know anything about it and we go in and his breakfast and in his lunch what an i'm here in someone complain and i wanted to
you know in the real world you gotta get your own did they freed you every day you might want to show a little gratitude is when they are on the power rangers you wish you were on friends out everybody always wants better no one's ever happy there's always a bigger better deal round the corner here i had flown with that showed that that show we was actually that's where i learned everything about tv like i learned what every you know and what the best boy is and what the key grit like you see all those titles like what the hell is there and that's where learn who all those people are i learned what upstage man while i was on a television show that only a few move upstage which way that would have which weighs upstage us off with that there were a bunch of people sees a fuck did he get comic mad hoof your man too i worked with some actors it really didn't like the fact that i never really done any acting before and
was easy that art but upstage the way used to be in those victorians shakespearian stages it was a ramp like the stage was not flat it was like it was elevated in the back in the being that you could see it through the entire i say as the new to the back of the stage upstage you could see in the back right may i like a ramp everyone could see that it is they were flat everybody else i gotta get out hey wait a minute if we put the seats rather we can make the stage let's put it owes great moments in theatre that nobody got credit for that yeah guy who said a how about if we put the seats uphill and weak you can keep the stages lance flat oh somebody tell you my great joe rogan story because i don't know if you re
amber this story but i will always remember his story is this was now this was a great they deserve my second year at montreal i had gone once and i had done new faces and then you know just doing whatever it was great for me and that's when i became a comic full time blah blah you know so i come back the next year and i bumped into you and i think you were either you're still on news radio are you had just finished news radio or something like that what year was this ninety nine ninety eight pennies probably on it still the amendment no nine and then cabin james showed up and i think kevin show was about to hit or just hit or something like that and you grab me you like come on we're doing spots and i wrote around in a cab what you and kevin james crash in stages and now i'm
coming off new faces so unlike what the fuck i'm hanging out with joe rogan and kevin james i'm a fucking comic always remain that man i was so fucking cool at that time as you knew me from the laugh factory but it wasn't but you know that you and i may like you guys were both on sitcoms in europe nice everywhere you walk in and obvious is that their security nice fuckin comic i remember that i remember b i remember driving around with you to meet i never wanted to be on tv and also be it on tv resist sunlike low ok i'll do that it's a lot of money yeah i'm on tv but any moment wiles on to stand up when i was on tv rather was thinking this is gonna end go right back to being a stand we started myself as a stand up yes i love you i love being a stand up unless it
it's i mean i would love that everyone would love that hit tv thing that's the lottery pay off right when you get one of those in you you know make a ton of money but there's nothing like being state and any any other thing i've always loved is the respected a good comics that's everything everyone when when the good ones when approached the bastards whenever you call em when ill and an you'd you you got it could they just treat you like your one of them in order that was always a thing when its talk to you they treat you like yeah i mean dude i was in the parking lot of the calmly store in like ninety four sunlight that and damon winds he had seen on any looked makers you funny mother fuck you up funding mother fucker god damn that was funny and i'm like my whole body was tingling damon wanes
i believe i was like this the more like the most elevating thing they could have ever happens like holy shit on budget not you leave this and then you become that guy crazy like it in the past five years i've definitely become olga like so many young comic slimy man i was watching you and i may just talking to you i'm learning like i gotcha cuz i remember like george wallace was my guy like i used to see george at the laugh factory and i talked to him and it said that and he still fucks with me about it like we were in vegas we're having lunch or something like it is alonzo just sitting around waiting for me to die damn right yours he covered is all i've got a bag as our brains he hated that operation man yet to idea and i talk to her about it at the colony magical became back backstage knows there were hanging out talking and he said he was is not easy said is hard you know why four wallet we answer is here to pay for every
to promote it because he was going up again said to reason stop doing it cause other clubs they were given it away freak so for a while and in trying to sell tickets when their given away you know free tickets to silence show because they are backed by the casino any said that's why you said you just got to where you couldn't you can't compete with freak so then you gotta go on the road and you have a really establish yourself in the road and decades has all this time he's been in vegas when this one place just trying to back this one place with people out of town so he's got the billboards he's got the the things on top of the cabs and all that shit in these he's got a good hustle had keeping it together in vegas but that she doesn't mean aiming when you are fairly now the people having gone to vegas still george who wallace oh yeah i remember that guy you're not gonna come there actually are what what's bell there was a comedy central last year you know
when was the last time in an especial that's always been my weakest thing i never been great marketing tarred marketing marketings a tough gig but he had a great run in vegas so ro downtime he had a great run coming years will see their nine wrapping nine years but i talk to another guy who had won it oh shows and he told me said man at ease it you see them taxis i get a bill for that like every month like the casino gives me a bill the cassini version because the casino puts up the money to put your picture on top of a hill taxicabs you know and then at the end of the month you get a bill for that or they take it out of what you been made in a box office while yeah so it yet tough its unless you're unless you're a big name you know unless you're one of those big vegas shows goin in but you have to be like spears is something that i can never here about a comic have a big name like again
swell up he does what he's more variety show me he's a comic for sure but he's more variety show because crops and he's been in vegas long enough like he's built he's been to show their you know what i mean like people know him it's kind of like sick frieden roy type thing like carrot top is a vegas shell yeah how long's it been in there and no idea public tenuous he's been here longer than george so there's no one else though i mean what's well reader radner was air reader and anderson oh yeah louis show there and then remember his and who out didn't any griffin do something for me think eddie griffin still handling of rio like yeah but it's not areas not all week like weak nights rear something weird nothing it's like a monday or tuesday monday tuesday inertia like that yeah i've always wondered what that would be like like there was one time we were negotiating to do it
they wanted to do a reality stars thing in vegas such aid have like like i was gonna hosted cause i one last comic standing in a new gonna have like the winner at a country singing like they couldn't get the big you know the american idol winners insulin like that but it was all the second tier reality show like the winner to country music singing show in the winter says that this is some show a countryman toby like american idol but for country singers meanwhile propagate the twenty million people to watch it yet then they wanted all of us do show and and i had hoped it went because i wanted to see it would be like to just be on a vegas show for like to live in vegas you work in vegas for six months you you go crazy thanks a lot i think you'd go crazy and i think your world would get very weird i think your world gets weird if you live there i think there's some then strange about being in the city that is i love vegas i love working there
love doing you have see there but i love get the fuck out of here just as much as i love gettin a week is pretty much as much vegas is you can never even to a week i do two days that's all i've ever done and even who days when sunday roles around i take the fuckin six a m flight with an unlimited and of upstate up all night and i say well i'm just gonna have i can read born play my kids on sunday morning phenomena must stay awake fuck this up we are not here not taken some noon flight or one p m flight in the last thing you want to do is try to drive it on a week if you want to drive out a vegas you better leave at saturday night at five and you did it you gotta do it because otherwise it's
take forever i don't people its take ate nine hours when i go when i do a club jamie i'll hang out i don't hang out on a strip like that like i'll go to a gym somewhere off the strip and i'll go eat somewhere off the strip and then you there at night and that's ok but but the idea of an animal a gambler like the idea of just be an in that casino doing four for a week but i'd but i've talked to people who work there and i like you if you work if you don't even here the bells like they walked hit us you know what i mean they may go bending alarmingly meaning gone stage do ye shall leave go home you live somewhere else away from a strip endemic sense i know people that live in henderson like my buddy max lives and henderson like snow nice suburb now he his professional pool player not a pool action in vegas and there's a lot of people
live outside of it that there really like it you know i like i don't have unit dino mac king acting now mac does it he's a magician he has good afternoon show i think it harris but he's been like he just sold is too millionth ticket like he's been forever gig its loves it any you know it's like a one hour show it like forty afternoon for the whole family it's kind and any loves it he's been their fifteen well if you how to choose a gene livin in vegas and living in toledo i'll take this railways every goddamn data we know offence to but you know the four comes i am i think some weird though about living in a city that is the place that people go to get crazy yet will you have to get away that's why you can't i dont know anyone who lives there who goes to strip on a regular basis
anyone i know lives in vegas there like go occasionally does show they'll go to or they'll take their friends there when there for his visit but otherwise they just don't go to strip have you have been that bar on the top of it the top of the men as mentally bay and they bade the bar at the top or looks out over like it's like the maldives assembly the aura samantha yeah that's insane and yet you up there and you look out at all that nea their craziness in it literally is like an image of the future from a science fiction movie like if you were in the nineteenth twenties or something like that and in people like imagine what we think is going to be like in two thousand fifteen well that this is what they probably imagine see thing i love about vegas and have always said if somebody came from another country like i want to see america i got five days we're going because you know you get you get like the buffeted circus circus right
and you see you see the america hillbilly in his you know natural have high and then you you gotta like the ballade geo and you see that the note a beautiful millionaires and you just that's the thing i love about vegas like it is the craziest if you watch strip you will see the craziest collation of cultures you know asked her is that up impetus into a kansas city grandma yeah this is vegas yet and genuine pimp right there in a green suit yeah he's right they walk into strip you know it you just that's what i love about vegas it is it is the best and worst of american like fine dining you know what i mean i just didn't you know stake house with with the greatest cut a meet you ve ever had or you know three ninety nine all you can eat
trip or yet at shrimp naples high tides there's the circus circus is a classic on the river areas to be classic would tear in that it grew down all the it's all now it's all the corporate mall casino you can't which one you are in now they just trying to break up money especially they were hit hard during the downtime the economy we're two thousand eight when the economy crashed i was in vegas and i was asking one of the guys who was a cab driver i said what do you think like what's the down like how much is it down here and he goes its about fifty percent while the pretty laid off a ton of people like the hotels were empty and all those yet cab drivers and all that to stop the allotted m law saw the service people all the people that were nino depended upon folks happen
downtown and also given out tips yeah you know and people in the monies tied those tipps of the first thing that dry up a gear on your own bitch you know that that whole story of people relying on people coming there that's a very tricky trend in the housing being dropped all they milled all those condos and all lemme shame natasha no shame tosh comic from commodore accidently married to different gauges she smokin whereas the temerity to different dues and turns out they were gay dragon engage eyes but she bought a house out therefore like a hundred grand and she said it's amazing she has great house in a nice neighborhood she was there a yard i gotta know eighty million who did that gonna get around real house there a buddy don barnhardt he did that he moved there but nice house you know him and his wife and he's been there for years and if you live and allay the idea of a nice hundred thousand our house it's like a fuckin unicorn like what are you talking about
thousand hours that's it that's all you have to name and on but you know like in in america you see that you know me like i was in indianapolis and i don't have you ever did bob and tom yeah and so you know to houses out their yeah and asks how machetes causing asked about three fifty four and what like my townhouse costs more than i could look like a king s palace and i got apples but i live in indianapolis that is the problem with all due respect indianapolis son habitant body respect alonzo statement but you gotta think like like we're talkin momentarily pesky tele as a touring comic really ye your home becomes is to base and yet travel out if you have somewhere with i remember shall tell him make a shambles scottsdale any said man i got a beautiful house he said i got a great airport he said that's all you need now is a beer road comic
if you got a good airport you can live anywhere you want that is all you need but when you you valet or new york you give up the week day spots and you give up the additions and edison like there there is an aspect that a business you give up when you leave new york do we d spotter big the weekday spots and also being around great comics you know tom roads just moved ella and tom had been thomas in like living like up like a vagabond like you just lives at risk case bin laden hotel the hotel for years i think for like five years he has an unnatural address and he into the com storm like a friday night of sunlight danny saw you have power was on i was on that deserves pact flock in rome odds it is madness is one one smash after another like all these people there there were really high level it was this
a great night of of comedy neil brennan killed i think chapels stopped in that nine it was his madness and then he said i had a fuckin i gotta move here you'd like i can't because i'm not seen good common yeah it's to ease who it's too easy to arrest yeah and you're on the road and you come here even last week like tuesday night when we did dom show then it was me jelly and you yeah with dahmer era in there that's i don't that in india you not getting energy you u it elevates your own level because you know you realize i got a rat my game up unlike what they're saying before the year that joke you did about wiggers like joe joe
join i we're like howland on the phone laugh at about thy on joke were or cracking like tat that's important for comics tat yeah you have to get into into town and in new york now is is going crazy lung and but it but it it pushes you look like men like peter has good like i got stay sharp and now you have the next generation come up and they are doing like like i like work in some of those alternative rooms in some of those youngster rooms just to be around something different like not the bull shit but the ones who are real comics but they're coming up in there just funny but they're doing it in a different way yeah yeah i liked being around that while there's a guy that are coming up now that grew up with the internet this is the first the first job creation of comedians these guys that are in there we twenties you think ninety ninety four twenty forty one years ago that's when the internet came around they all grew up with the interim when they
five and six years all technologies normal to them totally normal and a part of life so we start talking about looking at encyclopedia where would you break out this clause of the elders the sacred habit in the woods or they kept the squirrels and many other side when you see older comics who don't change their act said make like a videotape reference in you like videotape diana word you know you got a set the clock set the clock what you heard any juggling thereby recently in the past three as i have said the clock on the vcr there's nothing sadder than a lot of these these guys they just don't write anymore there's something about like musicians can pull that off like music in the nineteen sixty can do the same songs of you want to see in our fill in the bike whatever band and they were doing some shit from them in sectors like our shit that's a great song but if you want to see
i can they're doing jokes were nineteen sixty she what conness nor am i looking at i guess i do these jazz cruises and i love it cause i get to work with some of the greatest jazz musicians in the world and there elliot but i see i bring that up they may love when i fucked him about it cause unlike look i gotta do is show monday and then i do another show friday and i gotta do two different shows you a plan some shit miles davis wrote in eighteen forty seven and i think you're a fucking genius you are playing some shit the dizzy gillespie played after the war that would be war a war too and i think your brilliant sir and it but i fuck what a male but though because it is true when you're a musician and if you have a hit song you have to play that song you know no matter how old it is or whatever it is like you have to do at song and like if i do a juggler we heard that one in and i could never be like
if some eddie murphy and delirious nineteen eighty three gonna go there is no cover comics they used to be remembered gold yeah he used to do improve sins of comedians in doing it with their own material yet but then people are get mad at him because his impressions were dead on he did amazing impressions but it would do it with their material but that's but that's funny cause you're doing right you're not doing it as if you came up with it yourself right right you know but he still out it stop doing he answered what about people got madam i don't get mad at him that's what i'd heard so then he started doing impressions of these comics with material that he wrote i heard some guy did an hour patrice and put it on you too as if it was his own
while he had done a bunch of other stuff about that patrice had done in the past and now now instead try to pretend that it was obviously just in an almost to better use but it wasn't is plagiarists sincerely people are saying people think we can get away with shit there's a lot of money people out there think that they're gonna sneak by anyone some of them do cause the audience doesn't know to whom you know we know but the audience doesn't so yeah so you fool audience is some guys this day that that's not by you tell people guy he got famous berbeus plagiarists what you yeah go google it and you'll tell me the go google it and why they are but they don't care they do they you know you can always tat i don't i wonder if the artists cares like a comic lloyd you know what i mean what are grossly you said you know it
you're you know i don't like it you can bullshit that crowd and you can bet you'd have made millions of dollars but then you're in room or you're on the show with the real comics an you know just same thing would singers you know i mean if you if you're one of these singers where the machine is doing it but now you are in a situation like oh shit like award shall you yeah these like like you call yourself a diva but the franklin's and at eu level should those this isn't going to care because like we you what you were saying like that the respect of the old guard like the respective respected companions had come up to like you know we ve had the link i tell you that the the damon wanes while never never forget that in the park models like well he part as you remember right now but to speak become friends would robert schuman like i'm really friends with russia
he's real he's a real comic and unfriendly them like them like i guess i'm a comic now up i can be a comedian like it doesn't seem like now we both we ve been around so long it's just normal but the beginning is so fuckin shaky that and you still i think though always be some moments with some comics reelect why yeah that's for sure who'll that i noticed some friends with this guy or whatever so i guys don't have that those i know that we know that their full shit that that that each at noon and always in aid aware monsignor elements is biggest things that no comics liked them right whose biggest things are you never guy is respect easy to chew away item yet it it took place in any other thing that's funny is when they take an actor and they call him a comic well you see what i mean what rival richard would have written it was like you're not a cop you know and have won my richard saint should they got you arrested
michael riches came the commie store before he went to laugh actually coped out of his mind and it was yourself real aggressive and talking crazy shit and just wasn't design of it s just out of it but i've watched him go up at the calmness your and my initial thought was like oh shit you know michael rigid to stand up and he would go on stage in the audience went nuts but then three minutes in relax when is this guy start telling gerardi where that what he do i'd watch amend it be done then he would just do a seinfeld move like the hedging sunlight that from seinfeld in a crowd would love it forever nothin yet where you got you know that's the thing with that's the beauty stand up no matter who you are right even seinfeld said that light no matter who you are you gotta be funny like use like being jerry seinfeld got made a first phase minutes yeah and then they like what else
yeah we're gonna chosen our long do you better come it's and thunder would eat this beating man we're we're talking about that about like how this guy for the longest time was thought others like one of the autumn grades and now people look at em and they they think molly he's a guy that list is a piece of shit like that that for four up between being like this respected adored idolized all time great comedians like if you had a pic amount rushmore stand up colony there's only four guys on their one of those fuckin guys until the last year one of those guys can be built cosby yeah you know i'm so torn cause i love cars we i think caused these one of the greatest if not the greatest of all time definitely would be under my rushmore so now it's like ok still a great comic but bad guy yeah oh at at best flawed human being but i dont understand i'll never understood
an emotive it had to be ended since my opinion there had to be some weird fetish involved because it's not like you can't get laid if your bill cause me i think he prouder there had to be some kind of weird turn on or set you know like i'd be i'd be interested in what psychology i would say like wide as someone do this i think a lot of people used to do it that's what i think i think so i think in the nineteen sixties dosing people was you know we're talkin drunk driving in the early days drunk drivers no big deal i think this is thinking same about doesnt people yoke is built we too have a whole bit about spanish fly give her girl group slip in a girl a mickey and she gets all horny informed up i mean that's your drugging so one year against their will didn't know it i think that was a normal thing i think not it was never a good thing
no ethical moral right reasonable people never did it but i it was way more common than we would like to believe i may be people dosed people i think you know where that seen in animal house with its girls passed out the dude devil on one shoulder the angel nature and i like you leave her alone fucker vograat britain's out soccer debts like you couldn't even do that today you couldn't have that namibia exempts rape but back then it was like there was at least the possibility that this guy was considering having sector this passed out woman and then today that the drug thing like the car we thank drugging someone is thought of as a heinous crimes like you drug people you rape them it's a heinous crime way and it was then but your maybe society looked on it differently or maybe it was some amongst the boys yeah that you do i don't really know playboy mansion and it it's you know it's it's horrible for everyone involved
i mean it's horrible for the women involved it's horrible for what's happened to his lifelong reputation is all gone now you know it and it's almost is like what michael jackson like desert a generation that only thought of miss a freak it's like you guys really don't understand who he was musically through the seventies and eighties yeah cause in the nineties he just became a freak show no when i was a kid there was a radio station in in l or enough boss rather it was called the rock of boston w i think was called dubious seo z and ngos no one and they played michael jackson when michael jackson came and remember the dj say look i know what you're sand this is dance music but listen this is just a great song and the guy played i think it was turnover what's on
might have been beat it what it was but it was like that like did thriller when thriller came out everybody just stepped back and just when what the fuck this is just genius our level tat no one had been able to reach before yeah i am i did this award thing and they were given an award quincy jones in he produced thriller and i was joking would have a biased quincy joe the brothers didn't know who eddie van hayley was he'll do not of michael jackson record only quincy would begin let's get the bad is rock guitars and have him do a solo it michael jackson so like who he play guitar hidden but but that was yeah and people i don't know like an end the videos yang cuts that was when video just started and he had dance like when he did at thing and smooth criminal where he leaned forward you like that's not humanly possible you now he
he was like no one before him there was no one that you could compel him to write like you could say you look at elvis go yeah elvis was really good singer and a good performance but elvis borrowed a little bit from the old rhythm and blues guys enable borrowed little bit from the way chuck berries dancin there was a little bit in a little bit that when michael seeing him are you ok military law and the other thing about michael jackson and then always said that this is the part people don't talk about like he was world famous at ten whom like when you talk about he's fucked up what can you imagine everyone in the world knowing who you were when you like ten years old like you know by the time you fifteen adult women pass out i can you imagine walk into a roman haven't people pass out just because you walked in a room there overcome
they literally faint like how does that affect you as a person well i think we all have that weird effect when we meet someone who we can't really were really meet in a more just like taken aback well we ve all been starstruck before we ve had we are in effect even if it's on at a low level like you know you're a common club and crooks rock shows our right i click woe shit chris wrote me you could be a professional comic lucy kayser cogent lucy guys here when that i walk into the room it was that times a right there was a nothin like it in no way to prepare for it and he never had a normal life what you are talking about your career as an airplane mackay an like you you knew regular people you have regular jobs you ve been a jail in other the whole deal you ran whole gamut isn't as a groan adult human being this kid he was in the jackson five in his fuckin brothers his bro
who were all grown ass men had to sit back and watch it at a love letter just one shit because their dad gave birth to this one just so virgin say i had all these kids and everybody was really talented le toy janet and germane embryos talented but then there was a little mother fucker the last one out of the box there just add magic right he had magic and any getting back to cause be what you are talking about the other thing is like how many hundred million dollars did he give two united negro college for like their kids like yet because we pay for my college education in i made so to such a weird thing that's us often like human beings that are flawed but not fly
in every way round this did not all bad into a lot of people are do terrible things but are actually really good with other things here added its you know how to create crazy it's crazy my friend eddie as an interesting theory about bill caused me he said you know what at the end of the day bill cosby at even though he was super famous and he probably got turned down he probably turned down occasionally profit driven grazing didn't like it so when like one of these one stories that i was listening i was reading rather whether with the girls talking about talking about her experiences cause we that it start out this like mentor friendship sort of yes ship then eventually drugged her and then fucked her while she was passed out like and then she don't you just felt violate in horrible but it was this mentor thing that he would an angle and first and then we can get the pussy that way is like ok have occurred
china you want a cappuccino ego boom and the next thing you know she passed out like he got tired of workin for it inside of these go backed his bag attracts might have been again i have no i have no idea cause i can't imagine it's also you know because you sent me and imagine doing so i don't know what the motivation would be behind mean like it's it's it's so evil yeah you know this one was on television talking about it and i think she was a lawyer and she was saying another talking about the legal ramifications and a pair one of these women her accusation in his inside of the statute of limitations but they're not gonna bring him to trial you know things from that what has happened is gonna it's gonna cost mulatto money he's gonna pay you know whether date whether it be some like adding its glory all read has the class action air law suits or whether it's like okay we give her a ton of money and she divide
up amongst women ortega's i'm fuckin crazy trip and by an rolls royce fingers yourselves the gold or they what s mouth like you you know what i thought was was like weird and it was funny but in a horrible way with jarrett ah where jared paid like up one point four million set at fourteen victims get a hundred thousand each and it was like okay so fourteen kids who he solicited he offered money for sex the solution is to pay them each a hundred thousand dollars added a settlement as shit is a horrible thing to laugh at but it's like isn't there something wrong with that but that's how it's gonna go down was another parallel that jared and build as we are like in that bill cosby is undoubtedly a piece of shit
at this point time anybody thinks he's not guilty ski eat you gotta be crazy right so he's a piece of shit but is also where the greatest comics walter i can't take that away ran up and jared from subway he still asano pounds yes hard toddlers honour pounds it might affect a few kids a guy last a hundred pounds and he did eaten shitty sandwiches their sites even more impressive when you have you re in subways damages and still is in a hundred pounds you fuckin put in some bad it's run an uphill jared gives to say well i got one thing in common cause we really not now nothing in common with what a fuckin freak for fuckin freaky creep and again nobody knew it when his best friend was like a pedophile how did it best friend come out of the pedophiles at recent is at a recent however that's how they bits how they found him withdrew his best friend
i don't know when they knew it about his best friend but his best friend like ran his charity organization and i don't know if his friend was a registered sex offender or when it came up but that's how it is that's what led to jared first the friend and then i did not know the here and now that you're saying i remember briefly i buy a time i was it was on my radar he was already arrested he was already going to jail i first heard about it when his frame got arrested and they were like this guy runs jeremiads charity organisation and i dont know if he had anything to do with kids like if it was like a little league or whatever but there was something wrong with this guy being involved in charity and helping children does no worse cause they're both awful but somehow it is worse somehow fuckin kids is worse than drug and people now insects them yeah
it's me when you do it's worth it it's all sick but i think the thing about kids is like kids aren't sexual yeah you know women or women like it if you have a sexual attraction to women that is normal i mean drug in amman rape in amazement but they are women who but with kids is nothing said sure about a kid who how will you old where they didn't have sexism fifteen year olds ray sexual they might have been by think some i don't know well date they only part his plea was only one count so you don't like it other words are only charge and in what one even though there were others involved so the already really saw you know some you know it's funny about then like you talk about a fifteen year old like we were talking about this the other night you know like when when the fifty year old guy has a sixteen year old like a fifteen six year old girl could be hot
she still fifteen or sixteen if you are adult man if you're if you're over twenty twenty one late eighteen and a girl sixteen that makes out yet if you're forty eight yeah she's a kid she's again and she may have developed she may have the body she may we gonna walk around half good don't be alone but it but it out alone you yeah sedating about the room it's still a kid it just doesn't you know it the problem now i want to say is doing well up instincts are horrible instincts are horrible got a girl like that girls talkin about in houston that even i meant that this tiny waste is big juicy asked she
a grown woman but if she was issued by bill i tat when she was fourteen as ida buddy he used to he he's principle now but he taught highschool when he was like twenty three twenty four so that he's the guy that sixteen and seventeen your girls they want him as he's an was light man i don't know how you do it i don't know how you do it because these girls accommodate you hard the different bodies are perfect and their wearing nothing you know what i mean cadet their sixteen rice aware it sheds light and and are just starting to be aware of it yet yeah and ate and he's a man like he's not the seventeen year old boy like he's a man but he's not an old man ran like he's not old creepy guy and only a few months away from illegally man he he was a better i may i let me tell you something in my early twenties the work at a high school
when i was in high school theirs tat it was not tat guy we kid now for starting round susan's twenties he's a spanish teacher and he fuck what yes she was fifteen she was at the time i think actually they sure seventeen but still you know he was fucked she was in high school he was a spanish teacher and he was fond of it happens and does is pre internet shouldn't random out yeah but it's not pre dad got a good yeah yeah now pre dad got a gun possess some shit that they will not convicted or ages of sent a very strange man it's it gets and is also too weird grey areas that come along with ages a consent like he's one of the issues is happening right now with kids in technology is that young people are taken photographs of themselves naked and passing it out to their friends and then getting busted for child pornography there's a girl
that she's fifteen years old and she would sand dunes pictures of a pussy and you just what work just and its attitude and text messages you the cops arrested and charged her with trafficking child pornography to other children yeah that's it's one of those that it they want to bring you down they can use that charge but they couldn't today one of getting clear too they could hear judges like what the fuck are you doing equity how can we know there are arresting robbers like why you trying to stop a young girl from shown a picture of her pussy yeah it's it's one of those things but like i said they can show from with it they don't always but there's a time like if they want to bring you down bacon i think it's one of those things that uses a threat against you but again it's you know i do not want any fifteen year old pussy pictures on my phone i don't you know how you hear me joke about like they're young know i don't too much trouble too much drama
energy whatever nope no thanks i had a friend dennis uneasiness fifties and his divorced and he's about dating we're we're talking about an hour ago were i go do like wolves all the other girls eu data goes well here's the thing ngos i don't mind a mature lady he goes out o my lady my age go somewhere and not a young guy anymore it was fifty eight years old he goes i just looking for some company and go to dinner they goes but because there two different things going on because you got that hunger one's religion their authorities they just want to fuck it as they want falcon and they want to get out there and it was then you get the older ones whatever they want to settle down but they want everything to be their way is there all like during their forty zero grown what did not malleable in now interesting you talkin about how he goes these women are their ways will combat guy you know the old bachelor and yet you ve how old now i'm fifty three daniel occurred
crack like don't crack is a bad one day but a great for fifty three the man lively seriously pose for thirty five easy the girls the inner twenties it's just too young like like on occasion if i get some twenty euro pussy is a gift from a dodgy god with like i'm a gave it is still get attached to it just enjoy the day bio kids now known why i you do that started comedy late started comedy at thirty though in my thirty's when most people have kids and satellites i was an open like her i didn't want the obligation of a family it's hard man i have a friend who is married any has children is just starting out doing colony and he doesn't know what to do and needy can't he can't struggle the way we struggled right you can't go unjust war do a search for seventy five bucks
drive away all that shit can do all that so that was so that was that but the but you know dating like i'm i'm sorry in his woman and she's in her late fortys and fantastic because she's got a son but he's you know almost like he's in his late teen set us not a big hassle and she's a woman she's comfortable would who she is in everything's cool and stuff but then you get some the worse ones for me early to mid thirties when a date is an interview it's light so it's i grant you do find the right girl how long do you think it would be before you get married yeah so why don't you have kids are you open to it do you think about it in our blob lie what he said tell him like liquid just didn't i didn't have the right one at the right time as it now i'm open to it it could happen but i'm not really looking at being an old there
you know i joke about it like i have a kid now when he sixteen if i say you can have the car nieces yes i can there should also be able to celebrate billet took back a bit took my dell located alone at sixty nine he's fucking yoke still here yes aroused some guys do it as dana gm smouldering crack and for those waiting some guy some guys have the i could have it you know like they say you could eyes a man you could always have a kid but do you want to and i think now it would be more likely like if i met a woman who had a young kid and i took a modest step child or something right you re more likely to happen phrases that your fifty three enjoys fifty two year as live our lives
that's a hard might you know that you know so i will not be gone oh you're still be here and they like lack road lies as how would you know that's how it happened isn't it true extent comics either die too young or live forever one of my u dont you don't hear about a comic dying at sixty years old that's true i think it's laughter is the best edison like that idea is i think there is the real about the fact that you're making people laugh all time you have a good time lot of laughter and fond mean we have of more laughs on a regular basis less than a great percentage of people because our friends or the funniest people world i give you not like like you and all the other night tuesday nine hang out at the last we just how enlargement as to how and then leave their your whole bodies leg energized you do that the type and does not
terrible in our whole worked day was like we bolted twentyman etc this is it like people ask me what are you doing to him i m doing jos podcast lay that's my dismay now today but the i think the other thing is we don't stop doing yeah in cars like my business manager she's like well you know we got this retirement thing set up in this and i said really what have you ever heard of a comic tiring celebrity i said we die yet what we do we do this and we die work lass yet you are you fought you'll find a different niche like it may end up doing the old folks home circuit in florida you know but i'm still don't be do my twenty minutes spots at seven o clock carlin abdul twenty after jello didn't carling die in a hotel room somewhere yet on the road in died in his o dell room were even what's a name george burns like he died at a hundred but like he did his last set at its heart birth they are sunlight unanimity like an end i remember irony
when when rodney was commented laugh factory and raw in his last days reduce come into laugh factory bathrobe yup that do you come down the hill from his house in his robe wahid performed a fund of arenas in a bathroom i was and when i was nineteen years old at great woods in man mansfield massachusetts it's like this performing arts centre and i was baxter just one security guards and reduce backstage and i watched him walk around bathrobe ah well that's how rickles was but that's because in that back in the day you didn't put your pants on cause you a message the crease so we were do it yes so and we'd there was a seinfeld episode about that but it really is true when rickles was backstage in montreal he was in a rope almost befalling around now if i get there fuk it i don't know i don't know i don't know joe i don't know if you're a robot guy is a robe
no wonder where slippery where do you but i think you can only get slippers for the month before christmas that's the only slippers or for sale i guess you get on my line that vat is distorted cells lepers don't i'm gonna learn and look into slippers you know rodney was party until the falcon very and tat i was one of these are people set about ronnie he was doing blow ensuring can and have a great time smoking joints smoke joints for every show to the bitter end why not why not yet cause it because if you robbed me you can malaysia what somebody can t ready
slow down we don't want your high before it is sure around it is one of those crazy stores too because he took a long time off and was like aluminum citing rails raises family assortment went back to carmody forties i think it was like forty six when he went back to committee and then hit and then did you know all those movies and all that crazy shit get around what rickles in his robe that's a classic picture my daddy's classic get him with the knee high side to send out to me i wanna put instagram that's awesome as larry that was you know different generation different generation in someone's gonna be saying that about us working tee shirts about think those guys you stood there was no internet when they started late they had a promote themselves by their own local radio shows feel like
they had a radio back there but that works sometimes if it was a good market if it's a gear or if it's the if it's the morning guy who's been there for thirty years good i want show tat there's a guy in rochester we oh yeah the we rather we are is still around still taken at year end and it's like into mourning in rochester everyone listens her brother we like you literally go on there and sell out your show why no disappear those guys join dare in intensity yeah the few those guys are still out there these to be used to be a good one in phoenix one of their store this there's been a few lit like still but fuckin hard yeah that's the syndicated guys have taken over the whole country yeah guys like bob and tom that have a hundred different markets or steve stephen
does he did i hear he's got a big radio show tom joiner steve harvey's one those do it's like he's cat so many jobs he does so many things any put out a new book like every year cuz right those books i think he probably wrote the first not all right i don't know how i don't know how much more but it's not end in a funny thing is it's not like any genius advice you know what i mean like where we want to keep a good man don't be a whole no like like where you ass a little long it put put away hosts use you know like dazzling earlier and of a part of that size shouldn't be a whole he's an odd characterised he hurried i've i met him once
for a lively joked around a little while he was hosting the apollo and i did it and i m day was cool but i dont know him and i have any any relationship with him i had somebody other date tex me can i can i get them tickets to kevin heart should i couldn't get me i did i did bt kevin heart once in o one hunting kevin's gotta stop shit zeal for the losses the door when they think that we know everybody the yellow but as is so many people in that business but even when you know people a certain time when it's a little i think it's a little awkward to hit him up in a like like chapelle was doing a bunch of shows in montreal
and i know a mile known well by no one but i just bought tickets i'm not gonna u no enemy try to get to a man in like then it gets fuckin awkward in oak as you know one thousand people are hidden him up right while europe this is like a piece i rather just go and have a good time the others of the awkward calls a taxi get from people you barely know only want somethin frying yeah do you feel weird asking me for this right right it doesn't ended that doesn't bother them a bit now some people brutal to that keep hit net and it's really funny when you were to ask me for some one else yeah i heard you and your organs pike s do you have see really i'm sure they sell tickets joe ideas that he gets at all times yeah maybe i bet cause you guys tight his angry people people
wanna get on this podcast they try to go through joey right he gets he can't go to joy joy it is like an angry the thing is the people you would give it who are the ones who will never ask exactly in other you be happy to do it for the ones who would never ask you for well there's a lot of people would have distorted misconception that this this busy it is all about finding the right connections and then those connections like you have to work those connections nuts i get the business that i get on people do that their but they're not good d write it has good one not talent ass it salesmanship backstage it's it's be in everyone's friend why thing that does happen for sure is that you find someone is really funny and then you go but whose adieu to hang out with if i always get friends logger guarantee their friends are funny of their funny like have you no army should fear you are is funny shed who whose our friend like areas
friends from new york that i don't even know and then i you know he tells me about i'm my god i want to meet that do you know i got to have that guy wouldn't be hanging with him if he tell you their funding their funny there's definitely that is sort of connection a definite house but you gotta be talented is have you not we all have those few friends that we're friends with back from fifteen whatever you're gonna not really good bye still kind of friends of them hey man wants to ignore the rodya hey man how can we know more than you fuckin act hey man i mean not really comedian you know no one knew notable blood mired people who warrant funny who got funny because i may i think i was pretty funny from the start but i know some people who just warrant and i had my cause you
doing hammer and yet we know when nobody believed in you when nobody thought you and maybe you weren't funny maybe words of bombing but you knew there was something in there and you can do in it like i admire that i think that's a lot harder yeah than being funny and just go being funny i think you're right i don't want to name any names but i know if you guys are like that they just incrementally got better and then you know just kept chipping away and kept chipping away and then once they started developing real confident then start taking off for them sergeant zahm momentum target figure out my yeah that's why you know what you're saying like meeting comedians you know like having james and i take you for a tour of montreal rights like him i mean yeah in it doesn't seem like issue in the beginning doesn't seem like it's gonna work farc relic it so it's all of it is so slippery and bear so big like
remember when i started out when i was open and for tommy davidson things bene some open and fish army and i was like men when they say his name is more applause that my best joke at last that just saying his name he got a bigger applause break them but i always felt like it it's funny could sometimes you meet people or you have somebody open and for you i don't know if you get this cause you probably bring yours but you don't like how are you been doing his twelve years and your hosting like putting up would you do have any ambition like back then like my thing was like i want his job in order me like any headliner i opened for i wanted to be them i never thought like i guess how an open for you for the next nine years now fuck i want your job but this allowed guys are like a local guys like in nashville or whatever they just host when comics are in town and
get out of those cities yeah an end some do it for fun which i get but if you have real ambition and a business you got it you gotta be in our like i tell i tell openers is like in georgia job as before weird and middle line you may need to blow at middle off stage that's what you have to do because it gives you if you want his job you gotta show you can do it in utero sit here and if you gotta now to drinks you better come up with a funny way to announce drinks that's party a job yet its wised is tricky work with people on the road to define the dear work with guys a truck steal your shit and step on it they like twisted around a little bit of fuck with your premises i've heard guys not so much that a little bit of that but i've heard of doing something from somebody no who had been there you know what i mean they're doing update and lincoln that sounds familiar
like wait a minute he was here last month but you know what do that then can you get out of that they're not going to get out of that circle you know what i mean like say it say there a middle act in the south and they're stealing material from headliners tour in the country you're going to stay a middle act in because because once you leave people know who did that they know who wrote that yeah the different world now i do in a pot casserole you without yeah i do a pod cas it's it's and it's very interesting i love my part gets call who's paying attention and i do kind about weekly news wrap up thing but just me talking about should i read news and and secondly by yourself i know does monday morning just some of it is some of it is the more insightful stuff that i cant do in a comedy
also i give my real opinion on it than other stuff is just me joke about some crazy shit news or make in front of some stuff in the news but on occasion i have guests like i did the allay podcast festival and i had guests and people like it so i guess i need to
and he d take it to the next level what is that like what is the pod cast festival like i've heard of it was giant ever then it was actually pretty cold as it's just doing a lot a pocket like you would do your pod cast in a room with a big audience right that's does it that that's what it's your they have different ball room set up you know different sizes i guess from like fifty seats to maybe a few hundred seats or i don't know what the biggest ones were but damn yet and you just do your podcast live for an audience there and they do m one after another so the audience that i guess they buy a ticket and said i might listen to your podcast and then walk out a yours and go listen to todd glass for a wild and come listen emilio whatever you know
like scooby just that a weekend of a pod cas all in one place seizure this year yeah i did it was fun i wasn't your eyes it was last month a real yeah i was surprised because they had asked me to do it before and i don't think a lot about my pockets like i'm always i'm always flattered when people listen when i get to like windsor next podcast could i do it about every week but i dont have us they do it you listen whenever the name of areas anyone very flattered that you read listening on a regular basis but yeah like doing it i like it because i get to just give my opinion on shit you know how i can be done about that episode one twenty so it's been by hammers while they want those things build man now you get a lot more people listening to appear listen to this year this this is fan tat i mean this is great because your wanted a big ones and you get a huge following innocent net
it's also because you and me we talk about it we don't get the hang that often now we ve known each other a long time we cross pass here and there but it's just this was that's why this was always set my wanted to do in funds is concerned like you i taxed on my phone were the last taxes how would you was a year ago before this the recent one year we ran into each other laugh actor in the last one we are planning to an ipod dressed right for wages an eminent pulled it off when you know and that's that's how it is in oak is we're both travellin doing our thing in this and i am ass the other thing about being friends with comics when you reach the headliner level you don't see each other anymore unless he worked gallia your work the other orders like a festival or a show or something like or the store the laugh art area the improper that's one of the reasons why take eyes on the road me too and i don't i never use like a local guy i always take people on the road
makes i want to work with four as i want to work with really funny guys and then i also don't be alone want to work with friends i take people when i can but a lot of times they are like the places don't want to give up a room or they don't feel like we got a local guy that we pay for to show so if your guy i'm a man and do fifty bucks in or whatever i always paid i paid for thou rome i pay the extra money for the guys always make more money to meet i didn't know that you are aware this didn't even when i didn't i was like i did too many times by myself it was a crapshoot like sometimes you to work on the road in the guise of before need work with a great middle acting you'd make a new friend right but that was half the time and the other half the time it work with idiots
a nude you'd hate yourself and then you'd have to plug your ears while iran stage they were so terrible you hated the audience by time he got up there i hate the places that have their local favorite you know and i put him on your show and either he's like some filthy or it's just not funny or you know i mean lange in it like he's fooling that one audience at that club every week and he thinks he's great but you like yeah i've experienced its you know and you just or the other thing i hate it when the green room is the hang out for the law it will come as the worst and i've always thought like that's why you have a road manager because you have somebody to say aright everybody that the worst is when they start propulsion mozilla gear about gone stage going over you know what's in that they want to fuck around and hang out the targeting the waitress and complain
and their drink in and the like what what is this what are you i've workin here i remember like that's his back i was hoping for tommy we were somewhere and his security guy wouldn't let me in a green room real and i was like a and i thought when talking about because i knew tommy and thou think tommy new bows like yeah china on the show friend is like not just a fan with that i wouldn't let he wouldn't let me and those living holiday areas yet he was huge back what does he up to these days these doors is doing the same work and live he did a tour with tony rock and some more toning rock is fucking alas that dude is funny tony's funny so they were on toward they did a toward gonna be a tiny still around still negate talked rocks one those guys like he might have actually been held back by the fact that his brothers chris rock i don't you know
no it's funny like i see more similarity and am now than when i first met tony but not intentional similarity justin similarity miss sense that their brothers soon but its weak because he never talked about it but you know how chris his brother you don't owe me it's a wasn't the same it wasn't the same like the wagons where you know their family and they work together and they do projects and stuff like tat of tony's ever been on the same stages chris oh that a kind of crazy maybe he maybe as i'm not saying a hasn't i dont know but he never he never push that he's chris rocks brother but you know he's criswell yeah but i'm saying that he is so good that like people almost don't take him series because he's the broad outline the greatest comics of all time here you can get the proxies he deserves right cause people think he's but he's not right
his brother now not anyway nay well it's like the opposite of nepotism humorous suffers from it pollution air like charlie murphy like jokes around about bring up eddie murphy s brother people like you know like do you he's a people just yell chime i've i like the yellow nobody goes ever get tired and he goes no he goes as long as they're not saying there's any murphy's brother like correct for years i was just eddie murphy brother i'm happy when people yellow charlie monetary gain oh my fuckin name you know i guess i mean that's the price you pay when his fame or talent like that family and just such immense fame and talent in those two situations eddie murphy and
chris rock to the funniest most famous guise of all time right and you may know and they are brothers adieu stand up to a to grind what i was i just watch dumb chris farley documentary and his brothers on stage doing stand up oh and it's like i mean he's talking about how funny as was said by slight yet this can as only one of those in a family may lie that's gonna robbins i'll be another one well he was definitely not doing coke you got it you got to do more coke i want to be like chris got to be you gotta be but apparent up he was like that all life from when he was a little kid i met him the backstage at the set of news radio whose friends at any dick and this is in any doubt was hard party or are harper is also now but he was hard part here
chris rocked chris rock chris finally was there with two very hot looking young girls who look like them up for days there were very attractive but just look fucked up and he was correct and what i mean gray i mean like wet cardboard grey he looked like he die any second now he was sweaty and gray and pale and his eyes like the bag under his eyes and he was just on something crazy bender and he was ever these two girls and i always heard that he was ass wild parties it wasn't long after that that he died either but marcin american woe they weren't fuckin around disguise really done it but that's what that's us talking about that's when it's not fun now you're beyond like it's not a party must be and in what kills guys like that is you have the unlimited money to do that and you basically
permission to do it as long as you can make another movie you are another show or another record or whatever like i read clapton book which was actually really good and in the beginning at a book he says you know with the amount of drugs and alcohol i did my life i should have been dead and in about two thirds of the way through the book is when he sobers up and you like holy shit how is he not dead like when you read about how much he did ending the quantities just at the u like this this guy's not human like yeah you should have been day or will you don't just everything and large amounts of pills and cocaine and me he talks about he did one chauffeur like twenty three thousand people in a total black out didn't know he was there and you know yet just tons of pills and alcohol
and how is a shop they would imagine it was pretty good on i hang together take her yeah that was the life though that with those guys we're embracing and yet was that there was an agenda performing it was there was a jazz musicians before them in there was some the older blues guys that that fucked around with drugs and did heroines to fight that for the most part those hard party and rock stars from the sixtys and seventys no one's ever was like they took it and there were new drugs and ass it was new cocaine was i guess relatively new is ellen on the consumer level wasn't really yeah i think so pain had been around but they weren't a lot of people who did cocaine before the seventy saw they were just get it from coca cola fuck there's an early days it was in coca cola and then you have said so narco
so you see i keep hearing about a man i keep hearing amaze i'm in the middle of it now it's pretty good but they said that was one of pablo things like he published about like i'm gonna put coke back into calls go go you know coca cola still use cocaine for flavouring they stay coca leaves they like one of the biggest producers of medical cocaine the same company that takes the coca leaves they extra the cocaine out of its use whatever flavour that maybe that's why coca cola tastes better than pepsi i had medical cook had liquid cocaine i cut my retina playing ball dress an end it is pain like you would not you know its painful is it sounds and apparently that's what the treatment is like he gave me this i drew up and pain went away instantly and what was that
cocaine like who can i any said no we don't prescribe i've met you gotta come in and we put the drop in your eye but yet it was and it was what do you know you gotta doktor when you're hurt and you wanted to stop hurting right away it did like it was one those rare tide will you go to the dock like that stop the pain instantly thank you doc why that's what it that's what they use it i'm sure as other is it uses but yeah when i had my nose fixed they put light a keen in there which is like the gay cousin of cocaine it's like cocoa beans this last talented brother and it tastes horrible taste fuck but it numbs everything up but all it does is nominated me you don't get you dont get sick but you do get with this weird jittery feel like i went out at night and want to dinner and i tried to eat i couldn t sleep my appetite off
up and i was algae realise like i guess this is like the effects of that lighted king shit because i ve been scored in my nose danny levelling out know it's weird with drugs what people like like like i i went to a surgery and they gave me that more and rip like movie i got one large ones and some people love it now is like this is like it would put me to sleep but i had no desire to to feel like that whereas if you're a heroine attic you want to feel like that all the time maybe i can be a heroine act and because i fuck and love man i had asia reconstructed you'd go more that way i think you're too early so you're naturally a high energy like active persons so yes your high would probably be a slow down whereas a more uniform naturally slow laid back so my high was more up i think that's why i took two parts a well was pot like gave me a chance
the slowdown look at thanks jimmy's as i always felt like most of my life was always like gao just fuckin this guy just in ending get out of your own way because like the momentum of all the shit i had done before was always like knock out my door and my keep moving picture now no time for introspective pig in no time for objectivity just fucking run and if you get success good that success justifies all this havre and motorized such aid going and part was the first thing made me go what am i doing and why am i doing why why why what is the purpose of all this what is but as my path where what it would have what makes me happy what do i want to do what what makes me on it how do i stop you in that it made me think about things in a way but when acl reconstructed the first one second one didn't do shit the second one was so easy i had two and i tell everybody
you have a chance then i offer you was that these two different types of theirs there's three different types the usa sometimes use hamstring which is really rough and the lottery have they terry cut a chunk of your hamstring it takes a long time for that come back and some people they don't can ever is a hundred percent and they put that they use that as a tenant but i had the battell and gravity a piece of bone and your shin peaceably out of your knee cabin and they slice patel attending and it's connected with these two pieces of bone and the potential there's a very sick wide ten use that as a replacement for your acl at that am i love name that's the one they did the morphine drip to right need they used a cadaver they use in a key these tendencies it's much thicker than eliseo and it's like a hundred fifty percent stronger
and they use that is true that place i went to a party five days later i was walking around without crutches although this is crazy it's so much better but the first one the patel attendant was like fire was going through my veins was like get up off the couch and i didn't like take pain pills i hated the way those men i don't remember what it was purkis had survived it ends i remember which when it was but sir i seldom is due to the poor hall because i got your fuckin bullshit i hate that are rather me in pain than be that stupid but the morphine chip at the hospital was it was like having your balls cradled by angels it was just like you were being hugged by god looks like the world is just giving you this big warm hug of the everything's going to be fine jeanne they constantly straight my leg and bent it is like this constant motion machine because there too to keep your leg from gone stiff after that you know
can chiseling do it and start scruple screws and allow so this machines got law and ongoing click and i'm just melting into this fuckin bed in the land i have a feeling was in early may be the late nineties i guess it was muslim late in this case i remember i lived out here and down i got a hold of some of the real nice well before they took that shit off the market with the coding in it yeah we gotta was nine manage like twenty five proof with coding so good was soon forgot you had a cold i knew a comical to drink that shit out of people use a drink he's to get bottles of it though that the people that worked at the common club at rest
goals in new jersey i wrote a rascal they'd have to bring bottles of fuckin michael and they were not just talk about eight fucker month bottles of michael just drinks nikon goes into his hotel room and drinks michael my knees have no cartilage like that's this beat up so when they hurt my doctors like it we can replace them with wait don't don't don't listen if that's all it is just cartilage harriet stem cell stem cell shots oh my god dude it's a great thing of all time they actually regenerate tissue they can regenerate this gives regenerate carl bone on voluntary situations algae up with his doctor ok you connect to term it is over the last couple years are doing these things there haven't were miraculous resulted stem cells nice and so on someone on camper complained to me on twitter the laudable good afford themselves would you i'm not talk about it shall not about how osman as began what i've heard it i mean that's the way are you know medicine is but now i get it i get it's annoying to you that you can afford it but
i'm not gonna not talk i had it in my shoulder stem cell shot my shoulder i was like probably a couple months away from surgery or site just trying to figure out why i could schedule it is just it was so annoying everytime i work out to be in pain for a few days and i do it again and i say it in all its different shit and i was like i'm i have two fuckin bite the bullet and get this thing fixed one stem cell shun boom within two weeks feels a hundred percent better than a month felt better than i felt in a year and now i mean the case wade's sore like yesterday i lifted and lifted this morning miss connell little saw but nothing to complain about no big deal it's funny when you're talkin about how to take part of the ship bone in vienna born a pretty when doctors do shit like that on the whole smart are you you know i mean like that that like while you can actually do that in a like i'd shattered my wrist and die
i got to know the doktor who most rash there on a race track matter not ordinary circumstance but i was talking to the doktor and i we become friends overtime weep i fuck with him about it he fucks at me i like when he when he did the surgery and he said he had do it again unlike what you can get shit right the first time and he's like well if you hadn't fucked it up so bad you know it's light back but but sometimes i just lookin like how smart are you you just put bodies back shit is amazing it like what you'd tell fuckin big joke you go inside a human body and repair it certainly amazing different well how about that ben carson gotta get it runs for president how i was a neurosurgeon that he fixed conjoined twins at the hide and yet
you'd listen to and taught you talk about disconnect battle i honestly it's not like herman kane because obviously i make fun all these guys in the black republic in his always gonna be areas because it's like everyone else knows nobody told you but to be that smart and yet when you listen to some of his political stuff you like how does that were i dont understand that because you're a nervous and you're not just a neurosurgeon like you work your way up from nowhere wasn't like you were born into enow a silver spoon in your mouth or whatever light so yeah i don't i don't understand ben carson at all why it's hard when you start when you start talking about religion resource i can about the big bang in evolution is a myth and the big bang is bullshit like he doesn't believe in evolution right he been he might think the earth is ten thousand all he everyone else guy he's
some really wacky ideas but when it comes to fix it and he knows that the fuck to do yet and it but that's what i mean like how do you put those two to get like in the course of learning to fix a brain didn't they tell you you any other sites one there any other sites that i went to when you know by it i don't know maybe it's well maybe it's like the hubris that you have to have to be confident that you could fix could join twins is apparently conjoined twins at their head like one of the most dangerous originally took more than twenty hours they brought insurgents from all over the world the system figured out a way to the shared one artery which a major artery between the two brains and figured out a way to channel it and make it work so as to votes he's gonna get
these i had a drum now i know that's what's really crazy you in a most varies in policies ahead a trump that's because this is the this is the reality show portion and in next year to get to the real you know me having negative next year when the real candidates that's why we're trumpets like so gung ho already knows it's bullshit i can get out frumps gonna sell books and get a tv show or that you don't owe me like this is all publicity for trump my theory my theory is that arise december and january trump comes up upward away to back out like add on a work with these politicians it is his boat you know what i mean comes up with some like that like when stands runner for governor get any backs out of it and then he rides the wave of the publicity he might be or president trump what have you fuckin wins what if he gets in there i mean would that be the biggest i just can't see it happen why not because for one
then he knows nothing about policy or how government works or you know right but how are led to learn oh it's very hard on this on that level even like even barack obama who went in knowing it i think like his first two years in office was in education because i think you when you really find out how hard it is to make this work and to get these people to work together and to get any thing done you know what i mean lange i think i think he learned a lot about like how to try to make politics work how did you get anything done and trump trump is more like like schwarzenegger when schwartz agatha he was gonna go in and call a legislature girly men and boys a terminator and they were like get up gotta he had like he had like he got slapped you know new be to say peewit trumpeted be what you mean you're fired
shut up and i think there is being trampled prior make a big deal out of explaining we're all these bottlenecks are hoop i make a big deal about explaining to the public doing press offices and not playing ball give yourself a look and rich but there's no that's no secret though everyone knows that you know we all know about if you still already know and we you know em and to get in with all the back door deals and stuff like that like you got you gotta have some serious backing you know he has a lot of money but he doesn't have coped brothers money or what's that guy who owns the casinos in vegas i don't even know his name he owns of a nation and stuff like no i won't say his name or sounds a candy man that's too much money or these or aren't you know in a democrat side they have some people i mean you got you know spielberg indefinite
all right trump has money here their money nor does he have their influence he does he doesn't have their influence when it comes to the media and when it comes to every thing else involved you know it's annoying to me how many women that want to vote for hilary just cause she's a woman whom i do know how much shady shit is going on with her whatever these conversations like i'll go for want a woman in office may have ado wonders do you know how shady she is you know that when she was a criminal lawyer she issues hence lawyer she got some guy offer raping a kid there was like some there's likes of the hiring of her joking around about it there now from like the ninety ladys or whatever the fuck it was when when this happened if you're gonna be a politician your bag you know i mean like your current like what happened before was a politician the white water even when her husband when even then she was in bills been in it from the beginning the thing i d
i like about hilary is she knows how to games played like she has experience and she's very smart so i gave her that she per i don't think she's perfect i think she's the best of them of the ones run and i believe the best yes he scares me and the thing bernie sanders although i like a lot of what he says it's not gonna get done what what virginia what about the taxes dogs crazy about about twelve fuckin shit out a ridge right you what well he wants to do he wants to do what some other countries do what a government provides a lot more services but its paid for by a lot more taxes and so so now you're gonna have to somehow get that rich one percent that ain't pan to suddenly be willing to pay and to make college free sounds good but now you talkin about change see it when you start talking about china
during an entire system when you talk about cutting money added the fence to pay for things yeah it sounds great but the problem is this this has been this different military industrial defence complex business that said like how many military bases do we have where it's just welfare for the town they don't need the base but the bases eric as a base employs everyone in the town and if you shut down to base the town goes broke i mean that's true all across amerika and then you have and the congress men from that town will fight to the death like that there's a a naval base in west virginia what's not an ocean is no oh but i had this congress i forget his name but he was like that was his thing he was that guy and he's like i'm gettin these jobs and this money
my district you know what i mean so so when you get a bernie sanders when you get someone who's talking about i'm gonna change the whole system and i think this was a thing would brok one obama ran initially and it was about hope and change and a bunch of young people college age on board may wanted everything to change and it was great and i think he really meant it in any got there and it was like otis ain't gonna get done because when he got there and he had a democratic congress like if there was any chance of him doing it was when he had done the president and the congress from the same party and even then congress lightwood not we ain't change and match it in a way not gonna mess with that it's like they say move in the united states is like turning an aircraft carrier it it turns but it takes a long time that's the one thing i rule about bernie sanders the idea of free college i think the idea these kids come out of college in there
oh hundreds and thousands of dollars and student loans and their fact and then in a just implies marries a it makes so much sense that you're you're almost baffled that why we don't do it don't does one state and i want to say it was i o o one say was i'll up and and i only know about this as a friend of mine her kid was in school at the time and she was divorced and her husband lived there and but they had this deal they said the first ten cents of every tax dollar goes to the schools and you can't mess with that you can't change it you can't buy and what they noticed they didn't planet but about seven eight years later there jail population started dropping
well yeah but you know i could have kids go to school they don't go to jail you know and you look at the cost of putnam a guy in jail for one year verse putnam in college for a year it just makes so much more sense not to mention the fact that it how housing educated populous bad other than the fact you can't control it that's the only negative to to caning people you can't control will that and if you do have an educated populace it's in debt they're gonna have to work and work in the gonna have to keep the fuckin mouth shut in their stay inside the boundaries of the system but it that's what i'm talkin about if you do away with it more people can go to college in other words the more people go to college the better a country we are and yet they they literally fight against it and it's always funny when you see people fight against their best interests you know like one
it is their best interests they make money off the fact that college mean college education is country subsidize neither one of the reasons why it so expensive because the government is involved government revolve and all these loans and there's money in that whenever you have a tremendous amount of money is being generated by anything whether its college or law enforcement or the drug war you because it becomes an industry will you yeah i don't talk about the military sharing on this basis the same thing would happen if you figured out a way to pay for colleges through tax dollars there would be it without a doubt some people lose their jobs appear lose again but what i what i mean is that is the overall in other words the overall health nation like if any way let us smarter yeah we're we're better off the one thing we look if you want to make the nation strong make less losers just simple mean that's the number one you meant for cleaning up all these impoverished areas in our country rallies like we look at what baltimore i this guy michael would on this package that was
former carbon baltimore any they when they were there and when he was working there they found some papers from the nineteenth seventies it showed all the crime areas and all the tactics they're using and he's like we're fuckin doing the same they were doing in the ninety nerves were spent an hour wheels and what if you want to fix that area like concentrating resources on that area and an end to figure out a way to solve this this poverty cycle keeps going on and crime cycle they just keeps going on like you will have less losers less people to prosecute you're talking about education exaggerate up because education an opportunity known exists i mean added that is the one thing about the cycle of poverty that i think a lot of people can't understand its lead
in a well get it's just get a job like will know you you don't have that you know and when you go to school and your book sir are eight years old you know like when you say like this generation group with the internet but a lot of kids don't in our lot a kid like that's where the separation is and where did you have an ipad when you were in school or did you have an eight year old textbook and then you get to the college level now you're supposed to compete with the kid who had the ipad in it the whole system yet an end it it's it's one of those things that it just makes sense to do something you know it's like guns it's like
we have to admit that ok we gotta do something like that that's a first thing before we do anything let us admit we have to do something because whatever we're doing isn't working whom and at once we realized we have to do something and figure out what to do but instead where we're always us versus them whom so it's like no either no guns at all or or just carry a k to a grocery store like i'm sure there somewhere in between both to that works and and we have become a nation that has become so divided on every issue and sometimes when it's no reason to be divided other than the other side said it and it just keeps anything from gettin done i dont know i dont know what this kind going to be in fifty years you know it's going to be very different because where it was all these complications that we have right now all the problems we have right now they're going to be accelerated
sorry when the growth of the population when more more people around it it's gonna be can we more more problems and then is going to be always technological issues it's gonna be cybercrime is giving its gonna be really difficult to keep money in your bank account he's gonna steal and money from bank gouts left and right you gonna have virtual reality you're going to have people escaping reality in all sorts of ways that are not really doing yet and that's going to be just as addictive as crack there's gonna be people that are just drop in our society and living in the headset put our lord virtual reality goggles you know or we're gonna or people going to figure out how to use it and how to make society work you know or a jelly nine people more or or allow for communication you know i mean when you talk about these kids who grew up with the internet nothing new growin up is their growing up globally there that they have friends in
europe and shit like that like bad at munich with fever monday countries i am you learn so much like there's so much called more culturally savvy because of that so at it it's one of those things is like we can become much better or much worse and i don't really know sometimes i think well we're gonna be better than some shit happens like while we can't trusted with anything now so i don't know i don't know what's gonna happen and you know and that's where you have like when you have trump honestly when you have this visit viable presidential candidate sale we're gonna build a war wall between here and mexico can immodest cargan name rapists and put my name on it the alike ok no like that's no we can also
but that's like some new land and stalin type shit putting his name on it and yet yet you have a percentage of deposit population who honestly believe that you know what i mean like we still have what forty percent of the republicans in south whatever that still believe barack obama's a muslim undercover he's sorry to mean or else at ruin another i hopefully need timed it time we had three our mark but this was amazing
we want the julianne aid i would again thank you your internal automatic you anytime alonzo by amazing gentlemen alonzo boden on twitter website alonzo boden that that's crazy how we remember the d b b o d d and take your brother enterprise is and is paying attention site where i tunes knowledge as all that lorries we did a man thank you sir we did a painfully brother i see i soon later thank everybody for tuna into the pot gas and thanks to our sponsors thank you too caveman coffee good man coffee c o dog com and gave fuckin coffee fix oh it's the pest single source single origins single family coffee go check it out caveman we see oh com thanks to pont five
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ox but i'm not sure what you do you do i started website why playing games come of course based on the promo code you and that's it that's it no more sponsors nor podcast silver but i'll be back back tomorrow with my great friend tate fletcher that's right to dignity that's why i call him conte diggity my tatum is maximus he's one of the owners of caveman coffee co you might have seen him in just about every fucking action movie he gets killed basically every couple weeks in a movie he was john wick he was in equalizer has been known for visas all around also so that so that'll be tomorrow until then enjoy your life thanks for the love and see you by big kiss
Transcript generated on 2020-10-08.